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igotanidea · 2 months

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Not the same: Jason Todd x reader

requested by @miraculous-panic: NSFW: Jason or Dick just ready to eat pussy until you can't take anymore. (Jason obviously :D)

Warnings: SMUT MDNI, body insecurities, a bit of daddy issues, a bit of abuse on Jay's part if you squint.

A/N: been a while since I wrote smut, so forgive me if I'm out of practice :D

***

It’s been weeks.

Literal weeks since he touched her.

Before she met him, and when nothing was happening in the sex/love department she wouldn’t even bat an eye and would move on, ignoring the deeply hidden urges of her body, but things has changed.

The first time with him (her first time ever), with his hands on her body, his lips on her skin, moving in all the hidden places she didn’t even know existed and craved for physical affection, unlocked something in her.

And ever since she wanted more.

Greedy little girl, but can you blame her given the fact Jason knew exactly what he was doing bringing her immense pleasure, leaving her gasping and panting with his name on her sweet soft lips.

She needed more.

Not necessarily going full on, but anything.

One touch, simple kiss, gentle caress of calloused fingers on her sensitive skin…

Anything to get that sensation of being loved and craved, of feeling so close to him. Like he belonged to her and no one else.

Pretty much she turned into a giant teddy bear, wanting to be squeezed and held and hugged and wrapped in his strong arms.

Finally getting everything she didn’t have in her childhood from her forever absent, emotionally neglecting father. Care, love, affection.

Daddy issues? Maybe, but she didn’t care, purposefully forgetting the fact that she was in a relationship with a man who were absent more often than not, repeating the scheme.

It was not the same.

He loved her. And she loved him.

And she needed him.

IT WAS NOT THE SAME.

She kept on repeating that one sentence, lying awake in bed, alone, in the middle of the night, her crazy mind whispering words of doubts and uncertainty, producing crazy scenarios and making her overthinking pretty much everything that happened in the last ten years. Questioning herself and their relationship starting from day one.

IT WAS NOT THE SAME

NOT THE SAME

And she was going to prove it. To herself. To him. To the whole world. To her stupid absent father that left her and her mother when she was little girl, even if it was crazy.

She was going to make a statement the second Jason would cross the threshold of their shared apartment.

Feeling like a complete fool, but with a strong resolve to take some action she jumped out of bed and rushed to the dresser, opening the top drawer and throwing every little piece of clothing on the floor until she reached something carefully hidden at the bottom.

Very expensive and very revealing lingerie set, she bought on impulse while browsing internet. Hitting all the wrong sites that made her believe that a girl can only be loved when she was skinny and seductive. That having a little bit of junk, belly and bum automatically excluded from the group of people deserving love. That the only way to have some action was to reveal sexy, toned body.

Which she didn’t have.

The first time she wore the red lacy set and saw her reflection in the mirror tears started flowing down her cheeks, self-hatred stimming under the surface threatening to overflow.

Stupid little girl who decided she was too common to wear something so sexy.

But things has changed. She has changed. Their relationship has evolved and it was the time to try something new and gauge Jason’s reaction.

So she wore it for the first time ever, putting on a brave face.

***

A few hours later Jason was dragging himself home, tired, but miraculously not injured. Wanting nothing more than to fall on the bed next to Y/N and hold her close for whatever rest of the night was left.

His beacon of light in the darkness as cliché as it sounded.

Jason knew the words of poets, being able to recite them on call, but truth was that once he fell for her, none of them seemed even close to the truth and depth of his own feelings. Not even the most beautiful poem conveyed how she made him feel.

And just a single thought of her made him smile, forcing to pick up the pace to have even few more minutes in her presence with her body fitting so well with his. With her soul merging with his.

And he thought he was in love before, never realizing what it truly meant.

Not before her.

And he smiled to himself

***

She was waiting for him and it was not so shocking.

But the sight of her in the set that was definitely bought in Agent Provocateur, with her legs crossed sitting in the armchair with a glass of wine and thick hair swept on one side?

Jaw dropping.

Banishing fatigue in an instant.

Blood boiling.

Making his legs root to the ground, hands tremble and pants becoming tight in an instant.

She was perfect. Prefect and all for him, but he needed to proceed carefully to not let his own desire take full control and – god forbid – hurt her in process.

“Y/N” he cleared his throat taking off the shoes and stepping closer with a signature smirk that has never before took so much energy to be maintained.

“Hello Jason.” She smiled innocently “how was your patrol?”

“Uneventful.”

“So you don’t need me patching you up tonight?”

If it meant he could have her undressing him and putting her hands on his body he would lie and pretend he was dying and needing kisses in all the places.

“Nah. Not really. Like I said, I’m fine.”

“Well then, I suppose I can go back to bed.” Y/N stood up stretching her back to expose a little bit more of her breasts (still feeling a little bit weird, but getting quite content with the look in his eyes and satisfied with the way they were darting around).

“Yeah, good night Y/N.”

“Night Jay.”

“Goodnight…” he said again unable to stop looking at her.

“You already said it…”

“Yeah I just wanted to repeat it.”

“So you did.“ she took a step towards him

“I did.” He whispered closing the distance even more wanting nothing more that to touch her body that was almost shining in the room lit only by the lights from the outside. His hot breath hit her face when he was fighting the urge to not let her win.

“Goodnight Jason…” she said again, shivering a little from the closeness.

“Hm.”

“Something wrong?” she muttered not missing the way his voice dropped an octave turning into that deep growl that made her legs tremble. Every other minute of this little game she was gaining more power while Jason was loosing his mind.

“Are you trying to seduce me?” he groaned

“Where did you get that idea?”

“Just needed to make sure you know I’m not in the mood for your little games.”

“Oh.” She gasped, a little hurt. At least until she noticed the tent in his pants and cried out internally feeling the sense of victory “I know you’re spent” she rubbed his cheek “I would never do anything to overload you—”

“Go to sleep.” He hissed pulling away from her.

“Jay-“

“I said go to bed!” he yelled “Go to bed before I won’t be able to control myself anymore and-“

“Shit!” Y/N cried out in response lunging forward and kissing him, loosing the war of nerves and not giving a fuck about it.

And when his arms circled around her waist, grabbing the back of her thighs, lifting her up and wrapping her legs around his waist nothing mattered anymore.

“Tell me you want it.” His lips brushed over her jaw, nibbling on the sensitive spot behind her ear and tracing lower, down her neck.

“Tell me you want it.” Her legs and arms tightened on him, head tilting automatically to give him more access.

“What do you think princess?”

It took him three strides to get into bedroom and gently lay her down, climbing on top of her body, kissing every inch of her skin, not covered by the lingerie. Planting soft kisses on her neck, hooking fingers under the straps of her lacy bra and sliding them down her sensitive arms, inhaling her scent heading towards her cleavage, biting softly on the tops of her breasts while simultaneously cupping them through the material and squeezing gently. Getting the exact reaction he wanted in the form of quiet whimpers, calling of his name and nimble fingers in his hair.

“How expensive was it?” he muttered against her skin, lips still attached to her chest, moving his touch lower, sliding fingers up her legs, spreading them in the process, brushing his growing erection over her clothed core.

“Very expensive….”

“Is that something that should stop me?” he breathed out cupping her most sensitive part and running fingers there. “You’re already so wet, aren’t you?”

“Uh-huh….” She arched her back to him getting ready to be freed from her confinement and having her lingerie torn to pieces in one gesture.

However, Jason did something unexpected. Instead of baring her, he traced his lips lower.

Below her breast.

Over her ribs.

Kissing and brushing over the curve of her waist.

Licking her belly button.

Putting hands on the string of her panties.

Sliding them down, painfully, inch by inch, delighting in the goosbumps that covered her legs and the tremble of her limbs.

Making it extremely obvious of his intention.

“Jay-!”

“shh…” he nuzzled nose over her most intimate part inhaling the scent of her arousal “you wanted this you little minx, didn’t you?”

“I thought-“

“Oh, come on, baby.” He licked her clit once for a little bit of teasing before pulling back to look up into her eyes from between her legs. “you wore a lingerie. Which can only mean you wanted something new. Something to spice things up. Just admit it.”

“Uh-huh! Yes, yes, I wanted-“

The sentence was cut out abruptly by the sound of pleasure when he started fully sucking at her clit, waking up the volcano inside her.

“Jay!”

“That’s right love, scream my name…” he hummed, the words a little muffled by the way he was devouring her core.

“Fuck!” she pulled at his hair.

“I’m gonna eat you out so good…”

“Jason!”

He chuckled softly finding a way inside her wet core, pulling his tongue in getting the shivers, nails on his scalp, calls of his name, praises and encouragement to keep going.

“Fuck, you taste amazing.” He lapped at her juices like a starving man on the death row, enjoying his last meal. To say the whole truth he could die just like that, between her legs, sipping on her sweet nectar. “Should have done it so long ago…”

“JASON!”

“You gonna cum for me baby? Cum on my tongue?”

“PLEASE!”

“Please what?” he teased continuing the sweet assault, going deeper, harder and faster.

“MAKE ME-!” she moaned arching her back, instinctively placing her hand on her clit ready to make it faster.

“nope.” He grabbed her wrist and pin it by her side “it’s mine.” The deep animalistic voice coming from him made her shudder and buckle her hips. “Down, princess.” His other hand moved to her hip holding her down.

“please!! Please! Please!”

There. He won. Turning her into babbling mess underneath him.

Sliding a little bit up her body, so her legs ended up on his shoulders, resuming and picking up the pace, making it almost brutal, swirling his tongue, humming in appreciation, hitting just the right spot at the right angle every time, ready to go like this forever until she comes.

And long after.

Her cried and her taste when she came did not much to stop him. He was addicted, unable to peel himself from her core, rutting his own hips on the bed.

More, more, more…

Pussy drunk.

Squirt addict.

Ignoring the desperate whimpers of sensitivity and words that made no sense, gibberishing about too much. He was only just starting, focused on his own pleasure rather than hers.

“Mine.” The grip on her hips was bruising, iron-like, when he lost control and sense of his own power. “Mine. Mine.”

“mh..Jay.. J-Jay…”

“Mine…” he groaned again, licking and sucking her dry, not allowing one single drop of her juice to go to waste.

And she knew there was no way to stop him until he was fully satisfied.

And that she wouldn’t be able to walk straight next day.

And this was sure as hell not the same as anything she was used to.

#jason todd x reader #red hood x reader #jason todd smut #red hood smut #jason todd x y/n #red hood x y/n #jason todd x you #red hood x you

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bedoballoons · 3 months

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GENSHIN BOYS WITH A FEM!THIN/UNDERWEIGHT READER???? ive always been rlly thin, so it’s not eating disorder related just a scrawny fem!reader

OOOOOO OKIE!! I've always been thicker myself so I hope I wrote this well! Thank you for your request and I hope you enjoy the characters I picked!!

─⊰💕𝔾𝕖𝕟𝕤𝕙𝕚𝕟 ℍ𝕖𝕒𝕕𝕔𝕒𝕟𝕠𝕟𝕤💕⊰─

{༻~Scrawny and cute~༺}

CW: Fem! Reader described as being very thin!, fluffy and sweet!

A/n: First time writing Gaming!! EEE so excited!! Hope I did him justice!!

(Includes: Lyney, Gaming, and Venti!)

𑁍༄Lyney:

You tried to stay perfectly still as Lynette measured you...how had you gotten in this position? You weren't really sure, all you knew was that Lyney was special ordering you a outfit for his next show and he'd asked his sister to measure you, only she seemed a little perplexed with the results. "You're eating right? You make sure to have three meals a day? Maybe even some snacks?"

You raised a eyebrow at her, "Yes of course. Why do you ask?"

She paused for a second, her features not giving any hint to what she was feeling, "Your measurements are just very small, for a second I was worried you might need to eat more."

"Nope, I was actually worried about that at first as well, but I always make food and she eats it. She's just naturally thin, which is exactly why I'm thinking you'll be perfect for the trick I have in mind...if that's alright of course?"

You and Lynette turned your attention to Lyney as he walked up to you, his eyes sparkling with inspiration as you contemplated his request. "Hmm do I get a kiss after the show?"

"As if you wouldn't mon amour~"

𑁍༄Gaming:

"Woah here let me get that for ya!"

"Watch your step, don't want you to fall!"

"Get to safety I'll take care of them!"

You'd heard them a few to many times lately, you knew Gaming was only looking out for you, he was a caring guy and he truly just wanted to make sure you were okay all the time...even if he was being a little to...over protective. Yes you were a bit scrawnier than he was...his claymore probably weighed more then you did, but that didn't mean he had to do everything for you..., "Hey Gaming? You know you don't have to do all that stuff for me right? I can do it just fine I swea-"

"Oh I have no doubts you could, I just figured when I'm with you, you shouldn't have to. Hmm how do I put this...you're one of the most precious things to me, so I want to take care of you." He scratched the back of his neck, a blush creeping onto his cheeks, "Maybe I was over doing it though...sorry. Promise i'll remember that for next time, for now lets enjoy some dim sum!"

𑁍༄Venti:

Venti wrapped his arms around your waist tightly and rested his chin on your shoulder, watching as ran your fingers over the details engraved in his lyre. He'd been teaching you how to play little by little everyday and now you could almost strum a whole song...but it still just didn't sound as good as when he played it, "Venti do you think one day my music will induce feelings like yours does? I want to play you a melody that leaves you feeling calm and happy, just like you do to me."

He smiled softly and kissed your cheek, his embrace growing slightly tighter around your slim waist, "I think one day you will make music that leaves everyone feeling calm and free, you have talent and a beauty even crystal flies would be jealous of."

You felt your cheeks heat up at his words and butterflies fill your stomach...one day. One day you'd play him a tune that explained every feeling just right and then when he held you tightly after, chuckling happily and making a joke about how he hopes he doesn't break you with his hugs...you'd tell him just how much you loved him and it would be the most perfect of days.

ଘ(੭*ˊᵕˋ)੭* ੈ♡‧₊˚~Have a nice day!~*⁠.⁠✧

#genshin impact #genshin headcanons #genshin #genshin fanfic #genshin x reader #genshin x you #genshin fluff #lyney x you #lyney x reader #lyney headcanons #lyney fluff #gaming headcanons #gaming fluff #gaming x you #gaming x reader #venti headcanons #venti fluff #venti x you #venti x reader

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dykeknightrises · 7 months

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PROMISES

A/N: I'd just like to say that I'm in absolute awe about the reactions to FALLING, really! I was very hesitant to post something that I've wrote but now I can't help but to be super excited laknkdns Seriously, thank you guys SO much for it! Here's part two, I hope you enjoy it <3

PART 1 - FALLING

PART 3 - US

After a couple of years living the best and worst of her life, Alexia promised herself a break. A year where she would be one hundred percent focused on football and herself. She had a lot to catch up with her family and with being comfortable with herself after her injury.

Everything had been going fairly well on that front until Y/N arrived in Barcelona. Alexia remembered the bright-eyed teenager, far too young to be playing in the u-19 team, being playing great, nonetheless. Watching the teen leave absolutely everything even when they were down 4-0 made Alexia respect her immediately and to keep up with her career whenever she could.

The Y/N was far from the shy teenager that Alexia first met, but still so terrifyingly similar. Her first few weeks in Barcelona passed in a blur, but not a good one. The midfielder and the rest of the team barely interacted with the newest signing and when it happened, which was strictly at practice since she didn’t join them when they spend time together, it was mostly through the shortest sentences possible.

Alexia realized the smallest flinch from Y/N whenever someone spoke to her in Spanish. She didn’t mean to and was honestly certain nobody else, even yourself, realized it. Then every downed on her.

Her time playing with Espanyol and Levante was weird. She was still in her home, still in her country, still in her city, but everything was just so different. Her teammates, the team culture, everything made her doubt herself for the first few months. A new country, a new city, a new language, a whole new culture? Alexia could not fathom that.

Settling in making Y/N feel home, Alexia now spent most of her time dedicating herself to her. They were partners in every training drill, spending their time together doing the heavy speaking in English. When she was home, countless of hours on YouTube were split between watching highlights of Y/N through the years and on tutorials about the best ways to make someone feel welcomed.

She wasn’t sure why and at that point she didn’t care enough to ask, but she needed Y/N to feel at home in Barcelona. When her attempts were going well, but too slowly for her liking, she was running out of patience.

Walking Nala down the streets was something she was doing a lot lately, lost in thoughts about Y/N. The little furball got tired after twenty minutes of their walk, making Alexia pick her up, only then realizing where she was.

In front of her stood her favourite chocolate store, the best in the entire Spin if anyone asked her. Deciding to buy a bar a pick-me-up for the moment, she walked into the store, greeting to small family that owned the business and making small talk.

Picking the small bar of milk chocolate, her hand unconsciously hovered on a second one, for Y/N. With her own bar clutched in her hand, she stood in front on the chocolate bars display, not knowing which one was your favourite. After a few minutes of contemplation, she grabbed one of every single chocolate the store held, giving the owner a sheepish smile as the old man raised his eyebrows at her purchase.

It was a Thursday when she got the guts to approach Keira to ask such a random and somewhat personal question. The Englishwoman responding very confusedly, making Alexia bolt before she could ask any follow up question on why.

Going to her car to retrieve the precious bar on a break from practice, Alexia slipped it in her locker before any of the girls could see and went back. When training was over, she managed to catch up with Y/N on an empty hallway by the pitch, telling her that it was okay to be with the team even if you weren’t in “Spanish Mode” yet, they just wanted your presence.

When she sees the realization down on Y/N eyes, she confirms that she didn’t even realize what was happening. Knowing that, if you were anything like herself, a whole moment of self-reflection would follow the realization. Alexia slips that chocolate bar on her hands and squeezes her shoulder as she leaves.

The unknown feeling growing in her gut through the rest of the day and the next one too, unsure if she overstepped or not. It was the team’s first Friday off since preseason and she was so desperately uneasy about it, unsure if she made things worse.

Walking into their usual restaurant, Alexia felt her heart skip a beat as she hears Y/N laugh at something Frido said, the smile brighter than everything around. Settling herself in the seat in front of her, being greeted with a smile and a warm gaze, a silent “thank you” written all over it.

It wasn’t long until everything was fitting together. The team quickly welcoming her into the family and their routine stronger than ever. It wasn’t until she refused the invitation to hang out with her friends for the sixth week in a row and got called out on it that Alexia realized that Thursdays had became their day.

She was fine with sharing Y/N with the team the whole time but was so deeply grateful to have her for herself on Thursdays. Sharing their passion for football, exploring the city, and cooking together had quickly became the favourite part of Alexia’s week.

Days bled into weeks, which bled into months, and everything was perfect. It wasn’t far from Winter Break when she went to lunch with the Putellas, this time without Y/N, and got asked where her girlfriend was that Alexia realized her feelings.

Loving Y/N was disturbingly easy, Alexia though laying in bed later that day. She’d been doing it for months now. Every moment of her days she wanted her there and every moment of her night she dreamt about her.

The warmness of her discovery was slowly cooled by the realization that had already broken her promise to herself. The heartbreak of her past relationships sucker puncher her into choking down a sob, knowing that she could not take that once again, not from Y/N.

The next month passed in a haze. Alexia felt like the biggest liar, and she smiled, making sure no one could see past it. It wasn’t until she reached home that she allowed herself to crack, suffering from a paralyzing fear of having her heart broken before she even gave it away once more.

It was on their Thursday that she felt herself cracking, knowing she couldn’t be alone with Y/N, cuddled up on a couch, being surrounded by her. Texting her asking to go out instead was easy, choosing Sala Apollo came unconsciously because, even if she could be alone with Y/N, she still did not want to share her on their day.

Breathtaking. Jaw dropping. Beautiful.

Words only came to Alexia brain a few beats after Y/N opened her door or them to go out. A stutter complimenting her was the only thing the Catalonian managed to slip out before she was dragged out of the apartments complex by hand and getting in the Uber.

The decision to drink that night was a well though out one. On one hand she felt like she needed a couple of drinks to function near the younger woman that moment, but she was well aware that her inhibitions lowered considerably. She chose to drink.

Dancing with her, Alexia felt every single part of her on fire. Whenever the touched, for the briefest seconds, her heart skipped a beat, and her breath was taken away. Hands slipping on Y/N waist, pulling her closer, was a necessity.

When Y/N perfume hit her nostrils, Alexia knew she was gone. Losing any shred on self-control, Y/N was the entire world right now. Hands roaming, lips finding the skin on her neck, sucking, and biting like her life depended on it. Maybe it did. Y/N turned around to kiss her and when their lips met Alexia was sure she was in heaven.

Going home, staying up the whole night, discovering each other in so many ways was everything Alexia ever dreamed of. The warm, sweaty tanned skin against her, made her overflow. She was everything.

Waking up on the next day to a cold bed made her choke. Reality crashed down, eyes glassing as she though she was being left once again. Minutes passed, with Alexia trying desperately to not cry before she heard the noise in the kitchen.

Slipping a shirt in, she stopped on the threshold, watching Y/N happily making them breakfast. Somehow, that made her hurt more. The thought that she could have left, that she the worst of you for just keeping their routine. It made her feel sick.

She knew then that she was not ready. The feelings she held for those tortuous moment where far worse than any previous heartbreak. Just the thought that Y/N left almost broke her. Alexia knew right then that she could not be with Y/N right now, no matter how much she ached for her.

Alexia was not enough for Y/N right now.

When she turned around, spotting her tucked in a corner of her own apartment, Y/N looked at her like she hung the sun, the moon and everything else. Her breathes came out ragged as Y/N came closer, warm smile and sparkling eyes still in place.

“This was a mistake.” Alexia choked out before she came any closer. The Spaniard knew that any poor excuse that she came would never be enough.

Y/N steps haltered, no more then a couple of meters away from her, lips parting and heart breaking. Alexia could see the younger woman opening and closing her mouth, frown in place, trying to come up with an answer.

“Oh.” The word came out in a breathless sound, after what felt like a whole eternity. “I’m sorry. I’ll get out of your hair now.”

“Y/N” The blonde called, holding the other woman’s wrist, desperately not wanting her to go, despite messing everything up.

“It’s okay, Alexia. We will be okay. We are okay.” She said, slipping her wrist out of Alexia’s grasp, shutting the door after her.

She took her heart with her. Any will to do anything and joy left right after them. Falling to the floor, on the same corner that everything became a mess, Alexia let herself be mess too. Sobs wreaking her body for hours, only getting up to crawl to bed when night came.

Days came and went, turning into weeks, and Alexia was still broken. She could not look at Y/N without breaking. That was reserved for the privacy of her place, where she didn’t have to be the Alexia Putellas, where she wasn’t a symbol of strength. Strong was the last thing she felt in those months.

Months passed by before Alexia even saw anyone after practice. She missed team bonding, birthdays, media duties, her own family. A knock on the door broke her out of the pit of misery of the day, making her drag her feet through the floor, feeling like her legs weighted a thousand kilos.

The grinning face of her childhood best friend greeted her when she opened the door. The grin quickly lost the place when Ana actually saw her. Pushing past her and settling down on the couch after opening a bottle of wine, the woman looked at her with an expectant gaze.

Alexia knew she could tell her the truth. Ana was her friend enough to just call her stupid and tell her to beg for forgiveness. But she didn’t know Y/N, didn’t know Alexia’s feelings. So, the blonde settled for a lie.

Maybe the lie was too good, because the very next day, she showed up with her girlfriend and another woman. A surprise double date, she said. The woman was great, there was nothing wrong with her. In fact, Alexia was sure that if she did not love Y/N so deeply she would have giver her a chance. But she was not her.

The next day, a Friday, Mapí and Marta coaxed the date out of her. Not that it was much to tell, Alexia herself was only half present for it, but it was enough. Enough because Y/N arrived in the locker room just as the defenders teased her about it. Y/N lips trembled when she heard the word date and that was enough to bring tears that were never shed to Alexia’s eyes.

She cancelled lunch with her family again on the weekend. She hadn’t gone back ever since they asked her about Y/N, too scared that they would see her, that they knew. Preparing herself for another day the bare minimum for herself, her door opened. Alba standing on the doorstep. Alexia never saw her baby sister look so angry.

“What the fuck is wrong with you, Alexia?” the younger sister growled, entering the apartment. “Mamá is pit of worry because you look like someone has been running over you with their car everyday for the past year!”

“I’m sorry.” Alexia choked, flinching away from her sister.

She didn’t even realize that the tears, her current best friend, has already spilled out of her eyes and found home running down on her cheeks until Alba cradled her face, holding her in a hug. They laid on the comfortable couch for hours before Alexia managed to stop crying, her sister not laxing her hold for any second, whispering quiet reassurances at her every few moments.

“Ale, what’s going on?”

“I fucked it up.” She breathed out, before telling her everything.

That day was months ago. Surprising her, Alba didn’t judge her, didn’t jump the gun as usual, she held her, reassured her and gave really good advice. Which brought her to now.

Alexia spent the last few months talking extensively to her therapist about it, about everything. Her heartbreak, her injury, falling in love again. She wasn’t better yet, but she was in a much better place than before. More than wanting Y/N to love her back again, she needed her in her life, even if she had thrown away her only chance of them spending their lives together.

Today marked a whole month that Alexia came every day to Y/N doorstep, looking at the piece of wood that stood between her and the love of her life for hours, too much of a coward to knock. Finishing the cup of coffee that the awfully familiar doorman gave her from his on stash, she got up, standing in front of the door.

She had been in that exact place far too often, never knocking. Lifting her fist, she banged against the door before loosing her courage once again, like she had done far too many times.

Y/N opened her door and took Alexia’s breath away. She stood there, with a little black dress, light makeup coating her face and heels that put her just a little bit shorter than the Catalonian. The blonde felt her mouth dry at the sight of her, hands trembling away, tucked into her hoodie.

She felt like she had stood there, forever, just taking Y/N in, appreciating her, breathing her in. The younger woman was everything. She had always been everything. Her impossibly soft gaze, even now, asked Alexia what she was doing there.

“I was hoping we could have our usual Thursday? I have a lot that I need to say to you.”

#woso imagine #woso imagines #woso x reader #alexia putellas imagine #alexia putellas x reader

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that-sarcastic-writer · 1 year

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Bandage To A Broken Heart (Simon 'Ghost' Riley)

Pairing: Simon 'Ghost' Riley X Fem Medic!!Reader

Summary: You're a medic assigned to the 141 task force, Ghost is particularly fond of you and after an injury, he comes straight to your door. This is in Ghosts point of view (still second person, just from his perspective)

Warnings: explicit content, minors dni, vaginal fingering, unprotected sex, p in v, creampie, praise kink, size kink (mans 6'4 whaddya expect), choking, dirty talk, language, mentions of injuries, mentions of reader being much shorter than ghost and has tattoos, no other physically descriptions

WC: 7k I'm so sorry

A/N: FINALLY, ive been writing this fic for like 3 weeks now and I finally got to finish this and omggg, Im down so fucking bad for this man, so naturally I wrote filth for him. I hope my ghost girlies enjoy this

You can also read this over at Ao3

Comments and reblogs are highly appreciated!

Ghost was no stranger to pain. Not in the slightest. Pain was second nature to him. He had spent his entire life experiencing and learning to manage his pain to the point where he no longer felt it. But he'd be lying if he said that your touch didn't take away his pain better than he ever could himself.

Always so careful and gentle, and always willing to help anyone that walked into your infirmary and in the field. He couldn't understand how someone so sweet and caring could've ever ended up in the military, but then again after the things he had seen you do in the field, he'd be a fool to ever doubt your capabilities.

He was no stranger to you either, afterall, the 141 had become your main patients after you were assigned to their task force as their physician a year ago. And for one reason or another, Ghost always ended up at your infirmary, whether it was for an actual injury or to ask about your day under the excuse of needing some painkillers he probably didn't really need through grumbles and that particularly dry humor of his that always made your day. And truly, he'd be lying if he said it didn't make his day too.

Simon Riley was down bad for you, and he didn't know what to do about it.

He had lost track of time. He wasn't sure if it was from the crash or just the overall shit show that his latest mission had been, but everything was an absolute blur to him. All he knew is that there was only one thing he wanted to do and one thing only. He wanted to see you. No, he needed to see you.

Price had insisted Ghost joined the others at the infirmary, but he knew it wouldn't be you stitching up his wounds. After a very disastrous previous mission, you were left with pretty severe injuries yourself, ones that left you at your own infirmary for a few days. And while you assured them you were ready to go back to your duties, which included accompanying the 141 to their latest assignment, Price and Ghost himself insisted you sat this one out, and took a couple more days to fully recover. After a good fifteen minutes of protesting, you were outvoted. There were medics on base after all. But they weren't you, so naturally Ghost refused to go to the infirmary. He didn't trust anyone else but you. He'd rather bleed out, he said.

Price wasn't one to question anything Ghost did, he could take care of himself. And he knew you were the only one he trusted to take care of him.

Before he even realized it, Ghost was dragging himself to your quarters, unsure if you'd tell him to fuck off and to go to the infirmary instead, or if you'd honor the idea that he only trusted your hands to fix his wounds and take away his pain, for a little while at least. He was hoping it was the ladder.

He knocked, once, twice and a third time, and with a pained groan he leaned his body against the door, trying to take some weight off his sore legs. He waited, his mind racing and thinking that maybe you weren't at the infirmary for a reason, that maybe he should leave you alone and let you take some well deserved rest.

But he needed to see you, right now.

He lifted his head only a few inches to find you, for the first time not in your usual uniform, but instead a plain dark green tee that left the pattern of black and colored ink on your right arm on full display, and sleeping pants. But you didn't look like you had been asleep, you looked wide awake. Though that quickly turned into what Ghost thought was a mixture of worry and relief on your features. He knew because he had that same look when you woke up after he had carried your unconscious body to the medivac.

"Will you ever learn to take care of yourself out there?" Were the first words out of your mouth as you scanned his slouched body, taking particular notice to the hand glued to his right shoulder.

He let out a dry chuckle and the way in which his entire body relaxed, his shoulders dropped and was no longer on high alert the second he saw you was more than obvious. Whether or not you did notice that or not was beyond his people reading skills.

He didn't have to ask or say anything, you simply moved out of the way and walked back. He followed you in, his heavy but surprisingly quick steps following close behind you until you eventually came to a stop. He stopped, standing to his full height and his dark eyes were fixed on you as he waited for you to grab your medical supplies, which he knew you always kept around just in case.

"I can't check for injuries with all that gear Simon." You motioned your free hand to his tactical vest strapped with just about every weapon he could carry and most likely a bullet covered plate underneath his jacket.

He stood silent for a long second, just taking in the way you said his name. You only ever called him Simon in private, where you both knew you were safe from everyone else, where your protective armors could come down for once. He liked it when you called him Simon, it reminded him that he was still, in fact, a human being, that he was still Simon Riley, not just the ghost of a dead man that hid behind the mask of a killing machine.

He gave you a nod and his hand went towards the clips that kept his harness and vest together. Slowly, minding the throbbing pain in his shoulder, he dropped his vest on the floor, his black jacket quickly following the same fate. This, though, earned a groan of discomfort when his shoulder moved, he closed his eyes momentarily as he pulled the sleeve from his injured shoulder before dropping his jacket to the ground as well. All that was left was his clinging black shirt leaving the black ink of his arm on full display, and of course, his balaclava and the skull plate stitched to the thick fabric.

You were already gloved up by then, your tools already laid out on a desk behind Simon. So once he was free on his gear, you looked up at him, now seeing the trail of dry blood that ran down his right arm, starting at his shoulder. You stared at him for a few seconds as he stood there before you spoke.

"I can't stitch your shoulder if you're all the way up there Simon, sit down." You rolled your eyes, forcing out an exasperated sigh and exaggerated motion for him to sit down by your desk.

"It's not my fault you're all the way on the ground down there. Would it kill ya to grow a few?" He said with his usual lack of emotion, but under his mask, his lips tugged up just a tiny bit at the glare you gave him as he sat down in front of you, because even with him sitting down, he was still half a head taller than you.

"I'll remember that next time you come to my infirmary asking for pain killers after you get shot or stabbed again." You shot him a nasty glare, but you both knew you didn't mean that. "Speaking of getting shot, how did this happen?"

He hissed barely loud enough to be heard through his mask when he felt you lift the sleeve of his shirt and scrunched it up to his shoulder to reveal a gash from a bullet just above his bicep. You glanced at him, eyes meeting his own for a second in a silent apology before you turned your attention back to his wound.

"Bastard shot me at close range, bullet must've grazed through my jacket. Good thing he was a shit shot though." He answered, his eyes watching you as you cleaned the dried blood around the wound, more focused on you than any pain he could be feeling in that moment.

"Y'know, had you let me go on that mission I probably would have cleaned this up hours ago." You muttered, swiping the wet cotton around his skin, giving him a minute or two to breathe before actually cleaning the wound.

"Had you gone with us you would've probably ended in the infirmary for another week." He quickly shot back, his naturally gruffly and raspy voice turning just a bit more so at the idea of it and you could feel his shoulders tense under your fingers. "Better me than you, eh?"

"That's not funny." Your eyes flickered in his direction and you narrowed them at him, only to find his brown eyes staring deep into you, not once looking away. Until you swiped a soaked cotton over his wound and he exhaled deeply and unevenly, his eyes closing momentarily as he felt his skin throb and burn.

"I'm not laughing," He eventually responded in a quiet tone, eyes finally opening to meet yours once again.

"Do you ever?" You asked with a tiny smile, earning the typical dead eyed glare Ghost gave everyone that annoyed him.

"No."

You looked away from him, lips curved up into a smile as you covered his clean wound with a gauze, not really needing stitches. You weren't looking at him then, so you missed the way he looked at you, his head slightly tilted and his eyes hooded as he memorized every detail of your face. He always did this, just in case it was the last.

"Anything else hurts?" You asked after a minute, taking your gloves off and throwing them on the desk and leaned on your left foot, head tilted as you looked at him again.

"Mmm," He half pointed to the left side of his face, "I hit my face when the heli crashed. 'm afraid I did some irreparable damage to that side of my face."

You stared at him, you blinked a few times and your eyebrows furrowed with confusion at his request. He knew you were trying to understand his request, he was giving you permission to see his face. For the first time and you weren't sure if he was being serious or not.

"I can't, y'know, the mask," You pointed to the thick fabric covering his face, noticing the tear on the left side but you made no effort to actually look, let alone touch.

You stood still, hands glued to your side, itching to remove his mask yourself, but you were afraid, afraid to cross an irreversible boundary. He could see it, he could see the way your hands shook and your teeth nervously dug into your bottom lip. And he wasn't much better, he could feel his heart pound in his chest and his breath pick up. But he wasn't scared.

He trusted you.

Simon watched you intensely, brown eyes watching every detail on your face, every expression as he reached up to the front of his balaclava and with a deep exhale he pulled it off his head. Your lips parted and your eyes slightly widened. He could hear how your own breath picked up in an instant. But you weren't scared or disgusted, not at all. All he saw was awe.

You slowly licked your lips as you stepped closer, until you were standing over his knee with your parted legs. With a shuddered breath you leaned down, eyes lingering on his own before they flicked down to the cut on his left cheek. Your hand ghosted over his face, but didn't quite touch him, for some reason, this felt like another boundary you didn't want to push unless he said so.

He noticed your hesitation, and he didn't blame you. But he didn't need to say anything, he simply nodded.

He shuddered when he felt your soft fingers graze his skin and he momentarily closed his eyes, before opening them again to watch you bring a wet cotton to clean the dried blood on his face.

“What happened to your face?” You asked quietly after a long silence, brushing the cotton over the cut that appeared to be a couple inches long right across his cheekbone.

“Enemy missile, the heli crashed. I dunno how I got out of there. I blacked out and next thing I knew I was being dragged out of that heli by Soap.” He explained, the memories of it all still being too blurry to remember clearly. But he did remember one thing; the thoughts going through his head in that moment. “We lost a lot of good soldiers.”

“You’re lucky all you got out of that was a cut on your face and probably a concussion. You could’ve died.” Your throat nearly closed up then, your fingers stopping to rest on his face. You were both used to this idea of death, of going on an assignment and never coming back, but that didn’t make your heart ache any less.

He turned his head to look at you, his eyes searched for yours, but you weren’t looking at him, “Well I’m alive aren’t I?”

“Yeah, and you’re one lucky motherfucker for that,” Your voice was close to breaking, and your hands were shaking. Was that anger he heard in your voice? Or was it panic at the idea of him dying? “I could’ve helped, I just wish I had been there.”

His gaze turned hard and his jaw tightened, “I don’t.” His tone shifted, there was nothing lighthearted about it, he was being dead serious. And you actually looked at him this time, and you found his eyes. But you didn’t respond, you couldn’t, so you stayed silent as you gave yourself the time to actually take him in.

"So what's the diagnosis Doc, am I gonna make it?" The low timber of his voice startled you after a long minute or two, but not because it was loud, he barely raised his voice above a whisper, it startled you because you were so focused on taking in each and every one of his features, the unique shape of his nose, his sharp jaw, the three day stubble that scratched the pads of your fingers, his light eyelashes that contrasted the dark paint smeared over his eyes. You memorized all of them in case you never saw them again.

A small smile eventually tugged at your lips and you chuckled softly, nodding, "Looks like it, you'll have a scar though."

He chuckled, and this time, you could see the tiny curl of his lips when he did so, "I can live with that."

His lips fell back into a flat line and instead, his eyes locked onto yours for a long second and he could swear he could hear your heartbeat. Or maybe it was his own. He wasn’t sure, all he knew was that he was this close and he couldn’t stop the thoughts in his head.

Something was different. Something in the air felt different. The careful touches of your hands, they were different. And he felt different too.

He leaned in, stopping only when he heard you take a small breath. One of his hands rested on your hip then, and when you didn't tense or shoved him away, he pulled you closer with a tight grip

“Tell me to stop, right now.” His voice was low and quiet, but you heard him loud and clear. And you didn't want him to. He didn't want to either.

"Simon…"

He didn’t have to hear anything else, he heard all he needed to hear. The way his name fell from your tongue, the shakiness in your voice and the way you also leaned in, like your body was gravitating towards him. He knew.

His large hand found the back of your neck and he pulled you in, lips capturing yours into a kiss that left you without air. His other arm sneaked around your waist to pull you closer and forced you down on his thigh. You gasped softly at the sudden movement, but you welcomed it nonetheless and you threw your arms over his neck as his mouth covered yours. He took it slow, much to your surprise. For a man known for his brutality he was surprisingly gentle. He kissed you slowly, his tongue eventually slipped into your mouth, but it never felt messy or rushed. You honestly didn't know how long he held you like this, but eventually he let you go to breathe when he started to feel you panting.

"This okay?" He asked barely above a whisper, the raspy ring of his voice filling your ears in a way that made your thighs unconscious clench against his leg. Which he definitely felt, but he kept that to himself.

"Yeah, more than okay." You answered with a breathless laugh.

"Good."

Both of his hands were on your waist and he was on his feet in an instant. He completely forgot about the pain shooting through his arm when he hoisted you around his hips. It caught you off guard and you were wrapping your legs around his torso instinctively.

"Simon your arm—"

"I don't give a shit about my arm." He had his uninjured arm holding your thighs and he was looking at you with this look in his eyes you had never seen from him, but you liked it.

You leaned down, lips crashing against his own with an urgency that made him want to find the bed even quicker. He eventually figured it out and your back was hitting the mattress before you even realized it. He held himself above you, your legs still wrapped around his waist. His lips left yours and attached themselves to your neck. He wouldn't leave a mark knowing everyone would see it, but he still took his time finding that spot that made you squirm under him while his own hands were making work of exploring. He ran a cautious hand into your shirt, calloused fingers grazing your skin until he found your breast, and he squeezed. You shivered under his touch and an unconscious moan escaped your lips. He could himself twitch against the constraint of his denim jeans at the mere sound. Fuck, if that's what you sounded when he barely touched you, he could only imagine what you would sound like wrapped around him. And he wondered when was the last time someone touched you like this. Probably as long as him.

"When was the last time someone touched you like this?" His words caught your ear in a haze, it took you a minute to register them, but when you felt him pitch your covered nipple you answered.

"I don't—” You swallowed, blinking a few times as you tried to clear your foggy mind, “A long time, years I think." You eventually answered, eyes glued to the ceiling as you tried to keep your head straight.

He gave you a quiet hum, his hand moving down to your stomach, stopping at the waistband of your pants, and he lifted his head to look at you, "Did you ever think about me touching you like this?"

The way his words left his mouth, the raspiness in his accented voice and coated with arousal, it made your throat close up, and the way his intense and dark eyes were fixated on you didn't help either. You felt so small under this mountain of a man and his gaze, all you could do was nod.

"Words love, use 'em."

“Yes.”

A subtle smirk tugged his lips, the confirmation that you had wanted him as much as he had wanted you igniting a hunger and need that could only be satiated with one thing. You.

He lifted his head to capture your lips in a feverish kiss that was so rough it made you gasp into his mouth. You snaked a hand the back of his head, one that quickly took a hold of his messy short brown strands, a motion that didn’t go unnoticed by him. The growl that came from his throat was otherwise muffled by your lips, but what he did next, however, didn't go unnoticed either. His large hands found the collar of your shirt, and without hesitating, he tugged and ripped the fabric right in half. The moan that ripped from your throat at his manhandling was anything but subtle, and he swallowed it happily. He pulled back, tugging your bottom lip as he did so and his dark hungry eyes fixated on the newly exposed skin once he laid eyes on you. He took a hard swallow as his hands traveled to your chest and much like he had just done with your shirt, he ripped your bra open by the thin fabric that connected both cups.

“Fuck, look at you,” He breathed out, hands brushing over hardened nipples as he took in the sight of you in front of him, chest completely exposed, your hair loose and pooling around your head and arms now sprawled above your head, expectant and ready to do as he asked, “You’re absolutely perfect.”

“I could say the same about you,” You replied, breathless and reaching to tug at the hem of his own shirt with urgency. “Please Si.”

Fuck, how could he ever deny you anything? And more so when you ask him like that?

With a short nod, he moved his hands from your chest and grabbed the back of his shirt, quickly pulling it over his head. And fuck, the amount of gear this man wore definitely didn’t sell him short. His muscled chest was covered in various scars, ones you had seen, and others you hadn’t. And from his neck hung his dog tags, ones you had never ever seen him wear. Lord this man was going to be the death of you just as you were going to be his.

“Listen to me,” He said through a heavy breath, pulling you from your frenzied state for just a second, “If you want me to stop you tell me, no fancy words, tell me stop and I will. Is that understood?”

It took you a couple seconds to respond, your mind already foggy with the need to feel his touch, but you nodded at his words regardless, “Yes sir.”

Your hands found the back of his neck and you crashed your lips against his with a newly found urgency that made him groan into your mouth. His calloused hands found the waistband of your pants, and he tugged them down without hesitation. With a hard swallow you lifted your hips off the bed, allowing him to pull them down, your panties quickly following. He tossed them behind him somewhere to join his previously discarded vest and jacket.

He brushed a long finger through your folds, swallowing the choked out moan that came out of your mouth. You shuddered under him, your thighs unconsciously closing around his hand as he drew circles around the bundle of nerves. You didn’t even remember the last time you were touched by hands that weren’t you own, and fuck, his felt so much better already.

“No, no,” He tisked, pulling back to glance down at his hand practically disappearing between your thighs before he gave you a stern look, “Keep those legs open for me.”

You did as you were told, you shakily spread your legs apart, and you were rewarded with a thick finger dipping into your entrance with ease. He took a deep breath as he felt your walls clench around his finger and he could feel himself twitch in his pants, wondering just how you would feel around his cock instead.

With a hiss of pleasure, you threw your head back and your hips slightly lifted off the mattress as he filled you with two of his long fingers. He drew them in and out until he could feel you start to drip on the palm of his hand.

“Shit, shit, fuck.” Your lips fell open, silent cries leaving your mouth as he began to scissor you open with each snap of his wrist. It wasn't long before you could start to feel that delicious burn in the pit of your stomach.

His thumb eventually found your nub, he pressed it and rubbed circles around it as he buried his thick fingers to the knuckle each time. He could already feel it, the way your walls clenched around his fingers, your shuddering thighs, your hands fisting the sheets. His lips found the shell of your ear, and as he curled his fingers against your most sensitive spot he spoke.

“You’re doing so good,” He coaxed, his thumb pressing your clit with enough force to make you twitch and roll your eyes into the back of your head, “This what you need love?”

“Yes!”

“Yes what?” He slammed his fingers knuckles deep, his palm rutting against your clit. He could have you screaming anything he wanted and he knew it.

“Yes Lieutenant!”

“Good. Good girl.”

He knew you were close, he could feel it. He was slamming his fingers in and out of you, burying them knuckle deep and crooking them against your most sensitive spot over and over. Until you were nothing more than a shaking and whimpering mess, begging for release. And he was gladly going to give it to you.

“O-oh fuck. Fuck Simon please!”

He nearly lost it when he heard you scream his name, your voice shaky with pleasure, and your own body overwhelmed with pleasure. But if there was anything he had a lot of, it was self control. He had a mission to accomplish. And he wasn’t going to stop until he had you falling apart under his touch. Which happened soon enough. One of your hands flew to grip his wrist, the lewd sound of his palm slapping against your dripping core filling your ears in the most delicious way possible. And in a quick flash of a blinding heat, you tossed your head and buried your face in his shoulder, your toes lifting from the mattress and curled as your juices coated his hand.

“Goddamn,” He cursed under his breath, the sound of his name leaving your mouth in a quiet whimper filling his ears as his fingers slowed, but never quite left you, “My name sounds so good when you say it like that.”

You barely caught his words as he spoke under his breath, but you did, and all you could say in response was a high pitched hum as you tried to catch your breath. Your eyes were still screwed shut and your legs were still shaking when his fingers left you. With a quiet hiss, your head fell to the side as you brought a hand to your burning face, trying to compose yourself.

“You still with me Doctor?” Simon spoke, amusement coating his tone. You chuckled softly and gave him a nod. “I need verbal confirmation love.”

You wanted to roll your eyes at him because you knew he was teasing you, but you indulged him regardless. You turned your head in his direction and opened your eyes to find his own glued to your face of course.

“Solid copy Lieutenant.” You finally said with a small eye roll. He looked amused, and he nodded. But what caught your attention was the growing smirk on his face as his eyes eventually landed on his hand as he held it out of your eyesight. “What’s so funny?”

“This,” He brought his hand closer to your face, and even through your slightly blurry vision, you could see it glisten. You opened your eyes more and your jaw dropped, your face burning with embarrassment. With a low chuckle, he rubbed his fingers together and then spread his index and middle finger apart to show the extent of the wetness you had left on his hand.

“Oh my god.” You threw your hands over your face, effectively mortified, you weren’t sure why, but it made you feel pathetic. Simon, on the other hand, was quite pleased.

“Gettin’ shy are we?” His lips brushed against your ear, and you couldn’t help but shove him slightly.

Both of your hands eventually fell to his chest as your eyes found his brown ones, and the look he found behind those eyes of yours made him want to take you over and over until you were nothing but a shaking and whimpering mess.

“Lay down Simon.” You eventually said, both hands flat on his scar littered chest. He took a deep breath and he nodded slowly.

“Yes ma’am.”

He was on his back in an instant, eyes never leaving you as you threw a leg over his hips and sat just above his crotch. Your thighs burned with ache as they were stretched out over his massive body. His hands held your hips as he watched you through hooded eyes, very tempted to shove you down on his cock, but he let you take your time, this time.

“Let me ride you, please.” Your words were quiet, pleading and desperate, and they shot straight to his cock. He honestly didn’t know where this side of you came from, pleading and so eager to please him, but fuck he wanted to explore every inch of it. His fingers dug into your hips, but he remained still, only nodding.

“Permission granted.” He replied with a quiet hiss, his patience growing thin the longer he had you on top of him, your wetness coating his lower abdomen. “Go on.”

He didn’t have to tell you twice. Your shaky hands fumbled with his belt, the buckle ratling a few times as you tried to undo it, the button of his denim jeans quickly following. He momentarily closed his eyes when your hands brushed against his clothed erection. He blew out an exhale through his nose as he lifted you up just enough to be able to pull himself from the confines of his boxers. He let out a long breathy groan as he freed himself, his cock slapping against his stomach. With a hard swallow, you held yourself above his cock, hands resting against his lower abdomen to brace yourself as he lined himself up at your entrance, coating himself in your slick.

He was expecting you to take your time, to take him slowly, so when you sank down on him, his length slipping inside a few inches before being met with resistance, he had to take a deep breath.

“Easy..” He coaxed, easing a hand up and down your stretched out thighs, watching closely the way your eyes closed and your face twisted with a mixture of slight pain and pleasure.

“Fuck you’re so big..” You blurted out between breaths. Simon opened his eyes in surprise at your remark, he knew he was significantly big, but he wasn’t expecting to hear you say it. But he’d be lying if he said it didn’t make his cock twitch the slightest bit.

“You’re doing good. Slow.” He spoke lowly, guiding your hips little by little, hissing softly each time you took another inch of him, until you sat fully on him, and even then you couldn’t fit all of him. He allowed himself to close his eyes as you sat still, your hips only rolling ever so slightly as you adjusted to the massive size of him. “There ya go, atta girl.”

When he felt you were ready, he guided your hips up, lifting you off his cock inch by agonizing inch, his eyes stuck to where his cock left your soaked cunt, and when he was almost all the way out, he pushed your hips down without a warning. You let out a quiet cry, you dug your nails into his abs and your thighs tensed. His eyes shot up to your face with concern and he sat still, but you were quickly shaking your head.

“I’m okay Simon, please.” Your eyes found his and you nodded reassuringly, teeth digging into your bottom lip eagerly. He squeezed your hips and nodded.

You were rocking and rolling your hips, your walls clutching his length with a bit of resistance. And you could tell he was fighting the urge to thrust up each time you rolled your hips. But he stayed still, only his fingers dug into your hips, surely to leave bruises in the morning. His eyes were closed and he was muttering under his breath as you moved at your own pace. For now.

“Fuck, come on love,” He encouraged, voice restrained as you eventually moved with more ease. His words gave you a new found confidence, and with such, you lifted yourself up and sank back down on him, and again, and again, until your whimpers turned into moans. “That’s it. Fuck that’s it, take what you need.”

You’d be damned if you didn’t do as he said.

You leaned forward, bracing your hands on his chest as you bounced on his cock. His eyes moved from your face to where your bodies connected, he watched with glazed eyes as his cock disappeared inside your walls, only to appear again covered in your juices. He focused on it, the sound of his belt buckle clicking each time you bounced filling his ears.

“You’re taking my cock like a good girl, aren’t ya?” His words came out through breathy groans as he guided your hips again and his own hips involuntarily lifted every once in a while.

“Please Simon, more, I want more— Fuck—”

He had to take in the way you whined his name, the way you begged, it was so fucking intoxicating and he never wanted to stop hearing it.

“Yeah? You want more?”

You were nodding frantically, your movements only doing so much to give you what you both needed and he knew it.

He sat up, his chest now pressed against yours as he sneaked his tattooed arm behind your back, holding you upright as he thrusted upwards. He found a pace quick, and even faster and deeper than the one you had made yourself. He had you twitching and shaking in his grip as cries ripped from your throat in a matter of a minute or two. And you definitely weren’t complaining, his cock was pounding deeper, hitting that perfect spot better than you could ever get it there yourself.

“Yes! Fuck, Simon please, please don’t stop.” You were begging frantically, your hands landing on his back and your nails dragged across his scar littered back and shoulders. He took in the way you pleaded, the way you moaned, and took particular note of the squeal you gave when his thick cock hit your g-spot with ease. And he did so, over, and over, until all you could say was his name between cries.

“Yeah, like that?” Again, and again his cock brushed against the perfect spot. You couldn’t even hold yourself up anymore, your face was buried in his shoulder and tears slipped from your eyes.

“Yes!” You sobbed into his shoulder, your walls clenching around his cock in the same way you had around his fingers a little while before.

“Shit, come on, come on. Be a good girl and come for me.” He muttered, not once faltering his pace, only bringing you closer to the edge with each delicious drag of his cock. He slipped a hand into your hair, fingers fisting around the strand a as he pulled your head back, making sure you were looking at him, “Look at me, that’s it, keep those pretty eyes on me when you come.”

His name slipped from your tongue over and over as you came, somehow managing to keep your eyes open as your whole body shuddered violently. Tears slipped from your eyes as you sobbed his name and you brought your forehead to rest against his, one of your shaky hands resting on the back of his neck. The hand on your hair moved your face, and his fingers brushed against your cheek, catching your tears.

“Fuuuck, that’s fucking it. That’s my girl.” He groaned out as he fucked you through your orgasm.

He felt your wetness coat his cock even more, allowing him to slip just ever so deeply until he was nearly rutting against you, the patches of hair at the base of his cock brushing against your oversensitive clit. With a guttural groan, the hand on your face slipped to the base of your neck and he held it between his long fingers as he fucked into you with a new urgency, like he was chasing his own release. He fucked you like it too, his thrusts were sharper and shallow, and they faltered.

“Fuckin’ hell,” He muttered, droplets of sweats rolling from his forehead and mixing with the already messy grease paint covering his eyes. His forehead fell to your chest as held your neck in place, “I’m right there… Fuck I—”

He was about to pull himself out of you, but you slipped out from your drunkenly euphoric state for just a second to slam down on his cock until your hips met, hands on his shoulders as you sank down on him with enough force to slip a breathy moan from him.

“I have an IUD. I-I want you to, please.” You said shakily into his ear, your words barely coherent, but you knew what you meant, and he did too.

A low growl ripped from his throat as he gave you a few more thrusts before his hips faltered, his other hand found your ass and he held you down on his cock. His fingers squeezed your throat and a guttural moan left his lips as he spilled himself inside you.

“Bloody fuckin' Christ,” he panted into your chest, most likely smearing his war paint on your chest, but you honestly didn’t give a fuck. “You’re fuckin’ perfect.”

You gave him a weak hum, eyes closing as you tried to breathe once he let go of your neck. “I’m guessing your arm doesn’t hurt anymore?” You laughed weakly, brushing a hand under the gauze you had placed there earlier.

He lifted his head, brown eyes as intense as ever as he slightly tilted his head, “What arm?”

You shot him a playful glare and shook your head as you unwrapped yourself from him and with a long breath of exhaustion, landed on your back next to him, your mixed releases dripping down your thigh. He chuckled quietly to himself at the sight of his jeans, mixed releases pooling at the front of the denim. With a sigh, he tucked himself into his boxers, catching a glance of you, chest still glistening with sweat, hair messy and pooling above your head as you lied with closed eyes. He shook his head, about to stand up to find something to clean his mess with when you spoke.

“Simon?” His eyes found yours on him and he nodded, allowing you to continue. You bit your lip and sat up with a sharp exhale, your sore muscles already screaming at you for your reckless activities, “How long have we known each other?”

The question hit him unexpectedly, his eyebrows slightly furrowed but he answered quickly, not even having to think about it, “About three years.”

“Why did you take your mask off now?” You dared to ask, the curiosity of what suddenly changed eating you up.

His lips fell in a flat line, his eyes opening as he remembered that he had, in fact, taken his mask off, he had felt so comfortable that he had forgotten he wasn’t wearing it. He didn't answer right away, he sat on the edge of the bed, his eyes never leaving you as you watched him expectant. You brought the sheets up to your chest, bringing them with you as you moved closer to him, until your shoulder was touching his. You looked up at him, but you never rushed him, you simply waited patiently.

“When the heli crashed,” He began, “I knew I was going to die. And I was ready to die. And then I thought..” His lips fell in a flat line again as he turned his head to look at you. Your eyes were glossy, but you didn’t cry, you simply nodded for him to continue, “All I could think about in that moment is that I was going to leave this world when the only woman I had ever cared about didn’t even know what I looked like.”

Your lips fell open and your eyes widened with awe. He didn’t have to say the words, you knew what he meant.

“Simon…”

“Either of us could die at any moment, I realized that when I carried your unconscious body through that field, and I realized it when the heli crashed, didn’t make sense to pretend I don’t give a shit about you.”

Your hand found his face and you pulled him down into a deep kiss, one that said everything you both needed to say, everything you couldn’t say with words.

You were the remedy to all his injuries and the bandage to his damaged heart. You were all he needed and he’d be damned if he let that go.

#simon ghost riley x reader #simon riley x reader #simon riley #ghost x reader #simon ghost riley smut #simon riley x f!reader #simon riley x female reader #simon ghost riley x you #simon ghost riley

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hard-core-super-star · 8 months

Text

my ears fill with the sound of you kneeling [K.Bishop]

pairing: sub!kate bishop x dom!reader

summary: you and your girlfriend explore a slightly unconventional form of comfort after you catch her slipping into her self-destructive tendencies again.

warnings: smut -> minors and god look away [literally just porn with feelings…like a LOT of feelings; petplay/puppyplay; vibrator use; humping/grinding; finger sucking; a touch of overstimulation; kate exploring her submissive side while R tries to guide her through it]

wordcount: 2.4k

a/n: i was working on a few requests and then i blacked out and wrote this whole thing instead. i'm sorry [but also, you're welcome :)] i have nothing else to say for myself, enjoy. [we'll be back to our regularly scheduled wholesome hailee steinfeld programming next week]

* * * * * * *

“I can explain.”

Those words never mean anything good, especially when they come from the mouth of a certain stubborn archer. A stubborn archer you happen to be very much in love with.

You sigh the second her words reach your ears, making sure to count down from five before turning away from the fridge to face her. You’re not sure what you’re expecting to find but you’re sure expecting it wouldn’t have helped much anyway.

Kate stands in front of you, her face littered with small (badly bandaged) cuts and noticeable bruises forming on her gorgeous face.

The purple suit she wears whenever she goes out on “Avengers business” (as she likes to call it) hides the damage you’re sure has been done to her body. You don’t know whether to yell at her or ask her if she’s okay.

Ultimately, you do neither and instead, walk away before you say something you’ll regret. Just because your girlfriend happens to be a very powerful and stupidly reckless superhero doesn’t mean you have to like it. You’ve learned a lot about the brunette since you started dating her and sometimes that information was more of a curse than a blessing.

“y/n, wait!” She calls out before following after you like a lost puppy. “Just hear me out.”

“Hear you out?” You scoff. “Why? So you can lie to me and tell me you’re totally okay when we both know the truth?”

The lack of response tells you everything you need to know.

She’s slipping again. Letting herself get caught up in fears and doubts that only make her act more reckless than usual. She’s not getting hurt because she’s unskilled or lacks proper training, she’s getting hurt because she wants to. Because she thinks she deserves it.

You hate that you understand where she's coming from. You're not a stranger to self-destructive tendencies but at least yours don't involve getting repeatedly punched in the face.

She follows you all the way into the bedroom and it’s not until you’re both in the safety of those four walls that her hand grips your wrist. You could escape her hold if you wanted to but you’re not angry enough for that. A part of you wishes you were so you didn’t have to look at the pain written all over her face as she turns you around to face her.

“I’m sorry.”

“I know.”

“Please,” she says, taking a step closer. “Tell me what I can do to fix this.”

She's practically begging you and despite how badly you want to pretend tonight never happened, you catch a glimpse of the desperate look in her eyes. You don't think you've ever seen it before and yet you know exactly what it means.

Kate's begging for more than just your forgiveness right now.

You know you shouldn’t do it. You should tell her to take a shower and then climb into bed with her and help her recover from her mistakes. But your response slips out before you can stop it.

“Kneel.”

Your breath catches in your throat as she complies immediately with your command. A part of you had been expecting her to do it and yet it stuns you all the same.

You’ve never seen your girlfriend like this. Not only is this the most submissive she's ever been with you, but it’s also the most relaxed you’ve seen her since her destructive cycle started up again.

For the first time in weeks, the weight she carries on her shoulders every day disappears. There’s no shame, no regret, no pain in her eyes. Nothing but pure adoration and submission.

“Please,” she whispers. “I need you.”

Her words should be arousing, and in a weird way they are, but you can’t stop the waves of concern from crashing into you. You can tell she really does need this. Needs to let go of herself and have someone else take the wheel for once. But you’re not sure if that person should be you considering the way you’ve been treating her since she walked through the door.

You open your mouth to tell her that much but she’s quicker than you are. Her hand reaches out for yours and she holds your wrist tightly before bringing it closer to her mouth. You watch with wide eyes, barely able to breathe, as she slowly takes two of your fingers into her eager mouth.

The warm wetness that surrounds your digits is unlike anything you've ever experienced before. The vulnerability turns into intimacy right in front of your eyes and, even though you're nervous as hell about messing this all up for her, you let the moment envelop you until everything else fades away.

You know, deep down, you need this just as much as she does.

When you finally speak again, it's in a tone you've never used before, not with Kate, not with anyone but you seem to hit the nail right on the head considering the reaction you get out of your girlfriend. “Good girl. Is this what you need? To have your pretty mouth filled up and used?”

She whines in response, the sound coming out muffled yet desperate. It’s the closest she can get to confirming your suspicions in this state.

A shiver runs down your spine at the thought of all the things you could do to her. Kate’s always been strong. Resilient in all aspects of her life, and it really would be so easy to push her to her breaking point. But you don’t want to do that. Not tonight. Not when you can see how much she needs to be both comforted and dominated.

You are a little upset with her still though so you decide to meet her halfway.

“Strip.”

You remove your fingers from her mouth once the command is out in the air, ignoring the whimper she lets out at the loss. You pretend to ignore the telltale sound of fabric rustling as she removes her clothes while you walk to the bedside table and take out a familiar wand vibrator.

Your steps are slow and deliberate once you decide to make your way back to her. It’s impossible for your eyes not to trail down her contradiction of a body. She’s full of toned muscles from years of archery and martial arts training and yet there’s an air of softness to her skin.

An air of warmth that seems to radiate from her even now. Even as bruises litter her torso and cuts nip at her soft thighs.

“You look so pretty on your knees for me, baby.”

She shakes her head although a small pink hue spreads along her face at your words. “Not baby.”

“No?” You ask as you come to a stop in front of her, forcing her to tilt her head back to look up at you. “Then what are you?”

A beat of silence passes and you almost expect her to keep her desires to herself…until a single whisper falls from her inviting lips. The sound is so quiet you almost wonder if you imagined it.

“Puppy? Is that what my good girl wants to be for me? A cute little puppy?”

Your hesitation at using the name fades away the second Kate’s eyes light up at the sound of it. You’re not sure how long she’s kept this desire a secret from you but it’s merely another thing to add to the long list of reasons why you love her.

The look on her face is enough of a response but she still uses her words, clearly looking to keep being your good girl. “Yes, please.”

“Such a good puppy.” Your free hand comes down to pet the top of her head. You chuckle to yourself while she whines and presses up against the loving touch. “A little puppy like you needs to be trained. Do you think you can handle that, pup?”

She nods instantly and you know she’s placing all her trust in you. Trust that you’ll take care of her the way she needs right now. That you won’t leave her like so many before you.

“Stay like that, okay?” You reach over to grab a random pillow from the bed and place it between her legs.

Her hips buck forward before you even do anything. You coo at her, placing a quick kiss on the top of her head and positioning the vibrator on top of the pillow. You make her wait a few agonizing seconds before you switch the toy on.

The sound she lets out is more of a whine than a moan but neither of you mind too much. You move the toy around, making sure it’s pressed right against her clit and pretending you don’t notice the speed with which her wetness covers the vibrator.

You step back once you’re satisfied and the pout she gives you might just be the most adorable thing you’ve ever seen. “You have to be trained, remember, pup? No touching. If you want to cum, you’ll have to hump that vibe like the needy little puppy you are.”

A part of you thinks she’s going to complain about the rules you’ve set in place but then her face contorts in pleasure and you know her mind is too far gone for her to argue back.

There’s no better feeling for you right now than watching as your girlfriend lets herself go like this. There may be a lot of things the two of you need to talk about later but right now is all about helping her feel good. It’s about providing her with something she’s always wanted but never had.

You’re lost in a world of your own as your eyes hone in on the way she grinds her needy cunt against the toy. You could probably come undone from the mere sight but you’re not thinking about yourself right now.

“How’s that feel, puppy?”

You don’t expect her to be able to form words right now but she surprises you. “Good! Feels, oh- feels so good!”

“I’m glad. You deserve to feel good, pup.”

She half-whimpers, half-moans in response.

It only takes a few more moments for her movements to grow sloppy, a telltale sign that she's close to the edge.

“I’m gonna-” One quick look at your face causes her to change her words. “Please, please can I cum?”

You can’t hold back your smile as she asks for permission. “Yes. Go ahead and cum for me, puppy.”

She doesn’t leave you waiting for long. All it takes is a few more seconds of her humping the vibrator for her to fall apart. Your eyes widen slightly while you take in the enticing sight before you. The way her whines grow louder, the way her whole body trembles and her head flies back in pure ecstasy.

“y/n!” She cries out.

You’re there in an instant.

You’ve missed so many things, messed up even more, but you’re there when she needs you this time. There’s no hesitation in your movements, no other thoughts in your usually crowded mind except being the support beam your girlfriend desperately needs right now.

“It’s alright, you did so good for me.” Your voice is barely above a whisper as your arms wrap around her trembling frame.

She slumps forward into you, incoherent mumbles and soft whimpers leaving her lips. The sight would be heartbreaking if you weren’t acutely aware of the way her hips continue to rock against the vibrator still snugly nestled against her sensitive cunt.

“Katie,” you mumble. “You can stop, darling. You don’t have to keep going.”

Even as the words escape you, you can tell she doesn’t want to stop. She’s sensitive and vulnerable and so, so needy.

“Please…” You can’t see her face but you can feel the desperation in her voice as her breath hits your neck.

You instantly pull her closer to you, whispering soft reassurances as your hand slowly slides down her body, teasing and caressing her overheated and battered skin. Her body trembles against yours and you feel her bury her face into the crook of your neck in search of some stability.

You’re happy to provide it for her, allowing her to hold on tightly to your arms despite the sting her nails leave behind on your skin.

Your fingers finally reach the buzzing toy and you grab onto the handle to lift it up and press it further into her dripping pussy. She reacts immediately, letting out muffled gasps of pleasure as she continues to grind against the overwhelming stimulation you’re providing her with.

“Shh, you’re okay.” You don’t know if your words register in her mind but you keep going anyway. “Such a good puppy letting me play with you like this.”

“Need…please…”

“I know, pup, I know. Just let go. Let me make you feel good.”

She was closer to the edge than you expected because those words are all it takes for her to fall apart again. Her grip on you tightens to the point of being painful but you don't dare move away from her.

You let out a soft sound of your own when you feel her wetness drip down onto the toy in your hand. You're sure your fingers are soaked with her release but you don't focus on anything except your shivering girlfriend.

“Good girl,” you whisper as you turn the vibrator off and move it away from her. “My good little puppy.”

You feel a different type of wetness hit your neck. You're not sure if the tears are from pleasure or pain but you comfort her all the same.

“It's alright, Katie, you're alright.”

The whimper you get in response tugs at your heartstrings enough to get your hand moving. It's a bit awkward considering the position you're both in but you manage to slip your fingers between your neck and her mouth.

It only takes a second for her to register what you're offering her. Her lips part and she takes your fingers into her mouth, moaning at the taste of herself that lingers on your soaked digits.

“Shh, I've got you. You're safe with me.”

You both know your words are true and a sense of calm settles into the air around you.

It's going to take a lot more than this moment of pleasure to help Kate out of the cycle she finds herself in but this is a good first step. And you intend to hold her as tight as this when you finally begin to navigate what comes next.

#kate bishop x reader #kate bishop x female reader #kate bishop x y/n #kate bishop x you #kate bishop fic #kate bishop smut #kate bishop #hailee steinfeld #hawkeye #hawkeye fanfic #marvel #marvel fanfiction #mcu #wlw #wlw fic #writing

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thatdogmagic · 1 year

Text

Remember this smug as hell post?

Well, keep it in mind.

I'm going to give some people here the benefit of the doubt and go into this post with the assumption that they genuinely don't know how fucking awful the Tumblr """"porn filters"""" are for images deemed - or reported by users as - 'NSFW.'

This is a rehash of everything I wrote out before, but it's going over all of it in one big post, because this issue with community labels moves well beyond debates over what is and isn't NSFW. There are doublestandards within doublestandards, and no way at all for artists and creators to know for sure if their post is going to get blacklisted.

We're not merely talking about the fact that these filters exist. We're talking about the fact that they are wildly inconsistent, and that reported images aren't seen initially by a person so much as an extremely stupid algorithm. That's why there's the option to say 'this ruling was made in error.'

There are literally no set guidelines for what qualifies as NSFW, and what doesn't, when it comes to nudity, and to what characters those guidelines actually apply. Staff rulings do not match up to one another. They legitimately do not make sense. You cannot divine how a ruling is going to end up, and it is infuriating that staff is jerking us around like this when the platform very clearly wanted artists like us back.

Not only that, they were, yes: that fucking smug about it. In case you forgot, that 'cheater' picture is talking about people who fled the NSFW ban specifically.

Examples follow:

Both of these images were caught by the filters, and then appealed. The first one was (visibly, as you can see) downgraded to Everyone, in spite of the character showing more secondary sex characteristics than the first (breast, visible nipple).

Similarly, a male character showing a pube fluff was left alone, even in spite of being cited in my appeal on the second image.

Last, there is, as noted, this readily available image of Felicia, that you can find by searching 'darkstalkers Felicia' on the search bar. Did people forget that she's bottomless, and those aren't panties?

Using fluff to cover junk is an age-old trick for characters like this. And it clearly isn't a problem with the male character.

Further, you can go through just about any archive and see a ton of images that were not subject to community labels, many of which are much more racy, and much more legitimately "NSFW."

So, yes, beyond the disgust of Tumblr staff treating any body like mine as filthy and inherently sexual in nature, this is also about a system that is arbitrary, penalizes artists for no good reason, and has deeply opaque standards. You never know when a piece of yours is going to run afoul of a bot, or what a staff ruling will ultimately be, or why the ruling is there in the first place.

And that's bullshit. If you think it's anything other than bullshit, you're being a contrarian ass. Especially since a forced label absolutely WILL kill your visibility, where compared to implementing the label yourself. It is punitive, it is punishing, and I will say again: it is completely unnecessary to jerk us around like this when the platform very clearly wanted us back.

And now that we are, we're back to being treated like garbage, constantly having to guess what the rules actually mean, how they apply, and to which sorts of bodies they apply, all while watching our viewcounts on contested posts eat ten kinds of shit.

tl;dr, do not talk to me about 'following rules' when the rules are so ill-defined as to be quite literally useless, to me, and to every other artist on this website.

#tumblr #community labels #content filters #artists on tumblr

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ro-is-struggling · 3 months

Note

Halo, I would like to request james potter × slytherin!reader with this lyrics “Just because it won't come easily // Doesn't mean we shouldn't try” (Easily by Bruno Major) when you're a pureblood prince/princess, and you and james are secretly in love. But of course, there have plenty of problems along this journey. But in the end, you guys end up together. Massive angst in the beginning and fluff in the end. Thanks!

Hi beautiful💜 Thank you so much for participating in the celebration!! I'm sorry it took me so long to get to your request, but better late than never, I guess. This one came to me so quick I'm kinda pissed it took me so long to sit down and write it. No kidding, I wrote it in like 2 days wich is really fast for my overthinker ass lol I hope that you like it 💕

Easily || James Potter x Slytherin!Reader

Summary: Your social status and the expectations of your parents don't allow you to date someone like James, so you keep your relationship a secret. However, when he decides he can't go through with the act anymore, you find the courage to stand up to your family.

Warnings: angst, secret relationship, fluff, fem!reader, slytherin!reader

English is not my first language

Word count: 4000

This fic is part of my 600 followers celeration

James watched you from his place at the Gryffindor table, sad eyes glued to your figure. You were with him again, chatting over breakfast as if you were best friends. James knew the boy's true intentions, the whole school did, but he could do nothing but stare with hatred at the way he 'accidentally' touched your arm.

There was nothing he wanted more than to run up to you, take you in his arms and kiss you in front of the whole Slytherin table so that everyone would know that you were his. But he knew he couldn't. The only thing that making your relationship public would do for you was bring you more pain and suffering. Your parents were very strict, pureblood wizard royalty who looked down on most of the wizarding community. They had a well-planned future for you, with everything and a partner included, and James was far from that ideal. He knew that you hated it, that you felt trapped in a life you didn't want and that you loved him above all else. That was the only thing that kept him sane when he had to see you sucking up to that slytherin boy your parents adored, knowing that you were only really you when you were with him. But lately it was getting hard for him.

It was hard for him to live on stolen moments, sneaking around the castle just so he could be with you for a little while. It was hard to pretend to be indifferent when he saw you walking through the corridors, holding hands with that guy like you really liked him. It was hard to love you in secret, knowing that your relationship was disapproved of by everyone you knew. James wanted to shout from the rooftops about how much he loved you and how happy he was with you, but he couldn't do more than whisper to his pillow every night about how much he wanted to be with you.

He had been wondering lately if all the pain was really worth it. He loved you, but that wasn't enough to help him bear the weight on his chest anymore. He wondered what was the point of holding on to something that hurt him so much for just a few minutes of happiness. You had no possible future, at least not a happy one. Maybe it was better to end things before it got any harder. Maybe the heartbreak of having to let you go now would save him a lot of pain in the future. Maybe it was time to face reality, put aside his desires and accept that his love was nothing more than a forbidden dream.

Doubts were going around in his mind at all times, not leaving him a second of peace for himself. At least that was until you appeared, your smile emerging in the darkness of the hallway as you ran into his arms. And as he held you close, all questions were silenced by the intense love he felt for you, heart beating hard against yours. All you had to do was kiss him and he fell, surrendered to the softness of your lips, loving the way you whispered his name and told him how much you missed him.

For a moment, everything was right again. You were with him, where you belonged, and the world seemed to be a better place. It was a fantasy, a fictional world you created every time you snuck out at night to see each other, but it was your world at last. A bubble of happiness, away from the sad reality outside. There were no parents or social mandates, no expectations or hatreds to separate you, just you, James and the love you had for each other.

He allowed himself to indulge in the fantasy, losing himself in the softness of your lips and the warmth that your delicate touch awakened in his skin. But then he felt it. That guy’s perfume lingered on your skin, like a constant reminder that you weren't his —not really, not like James wanted you to be-and that you never would be.

"Wait, stop!" He murmured against your lips, lightly pushing your shoulders away from him.

"What's wrong?" you frowned at him, confused by his sudden rejection. Did you do something wrong?

James looked at you for a moment, but remained silent, watching the concern in your eyes as he wondered if he really was about to voice his concerns. You tried to approach him again, stepping forward and placing a hand on his chest. But to your surprise he pulled back, giving your hand a light squeeze before removing it from his body. Then he let out a long sigh, closing his eyes for a moment as he prepared himself for what he was about to do.

"This... w-we... I can't do this anymore." James struggled to say, unsure of what were the right words to communicate what he was feeling.

"What do you mean?" You spoke cautiously, hoping he didn't mean what you thought he was getting at.

"I can't keep hiding us, our love, what I feel for you... It's too hard, I can't do it anymore." Your eyes glistened with accumulated tears and James felt his heart break into a thousand pieces once again. He hated to be the cause of your pain, but he had to be honest with you. The situation surpassed you and the love you had for each other was no longer enough, not for him at least.

"I know it's hard, it always has been. But we can get through this, James. I know we can." You reached out once more and this time he didn't reject your touch. You cradled his cheek with your hand and he leaned into your touch, closing his eyes for a moment. "I love you, Jamie."

"I love you too, but I'm afraid that's not enough. Not anymore."

When James opened his eyes, you saw tears in them. He was hurting as much as you were, so why was he doing this? From the very beginning you two knew that your relationship would not be easy. You warned him countless times, rejecting his advances over and over again to protect him. He had assured you that he didn't care, that he would put up with anything to be with you. His insistence was the only thing that persuaded you to accept his advances, thinking that he would really support you and fight for your love. But now that seemed to be nothing more than empty promises.

"So you're just going to give up?" You asked, taking a few steps back as your sadness mixed with anger. James was supposed to be different, that's why you had opened your heart to him. "Just because it won't come easily doesn't mean we shouldn't try."

"But we did try and it's not working." James sighed, leaning against the wall with slumped shoulders. "I can't keep seeing you with him. I can't keep pretending that it doesn't kill me to see him being all over you, thinking that you're his. I can't stand to see the indifference in your eyes every time we're in public. It hurts too much."

“Do you think that it doesn’t hurt me?”

Your voice broke. Tears rolled down your cheeks, unable to hold them back a second longer. James felt even worse. Every fiber in his body was screaming at him to run and hug you, to hold you close to him and never let you go. But he held back. This was a difficult but necessary conversation. He could no longer ignore his own pain —or yours.

"Do you think I like to be with him?" you continued, wiping your tears with the back of your hand. "Do you think I like ignoring you all day? You're the only good thing in my life, James."

"Then why do we keep hurting each other?" James said, almost whispering. There was a clear sadness in his voice that made the knot in your throat tighten. "Love is not supposed to hurt this much."

Your gaze softened as you noticed in his eyes just how deep James' pain was. A fresh wave of tears rolled down your eyes as you realized your mistake. All this time you had been asking so much of him, thinking he would be okay because you were. Your life was hell, but it all got better if you could just get five minutes alone with him. He was what made your days tolerable, he was the one who put a smile on your lips. James was the light at the end of the tunnel, a ray of hope for your future. But he didn't have your life, so your relationship probably didn't mean the same to you as it did to him.

James had wonderful parents who adored him and supported him in everything. He had friends who loved him and whom he could confide in. He wasn't lonely like you, he didn't need to cling to your love to feel a little happiness. He was happy with or without you because he had the freedom to make whatever he wanted with his life. Hiding and having to lie about his feelings probably hurt him more than it hurt you because James didn't have much to gain in your relationship. You were the one that would lose everything if he wasn't by your side. The suffering you were putting him through probably wasn't worth it to him, not in the same way it was to you.

You had been selfish. All this time you had thought only of yourself, how happy you were when James wrapped you in his arms, how easy it was to get out of bed in the morning knowing that at night you could be with him. James gave you a purpose, a glimmer of hope of escaping the perfectly planned future your parents had planned for you. But you offered him nothing but animosity and suffering that was only rewarded with a couple of hours of intimacy and happiness a day —if you were lucky. All this time you had been hurting him more than you knew, ignoring his pain for your happiness. And realizing that made you feel horribly bad about yourself.

"Maybe you're right." You spoke after a long silence. "Maybe it's better to stop this before it goes too far. We both knew it was just a dumb fantasy anyways." You let out a bitter chuckle, wiping away your tears as you took a step closer to James. "I'm sorry for dragging you into this. I never wanted to hurt you, James."

"I don't regret our relationship, we were just trying to make it work. And I don't regret my love for you, I... I just can't do this anymore."

"I love you," you murmured, reaching out to caress her cheek once more. You gave him a smile —trying to pretend you weren't falling apart on the inside—, but it quickly turned into a sad pout. "And that's why I have to let you go. I can't keep hurting you like this. I'm sorry, James. I truly am."

He rested his hand on yours, keeping you from removing it from his cheek. If this was your goodbye, James wanted to enjoy your touch at least for a little while longer, to remember the softness of your hands and the warmth of your skin against his body. He knew that what he would miss the most were your kisses and the sound of your laughter, but he had to get used to it. This was for the best.

"I love you too."

You shared a kiss, one last goodbye kiss. Your lips moved slowly over James', trying to drag out the moment as long as possible. You were going to miss his kisses, the taste of his mouth and the way his lips molded to yours, as if they had been specially created to fit together like two pieces of a puzzle.

You didn't want the moment to end. You didn't want to face the cruel reality that would come as soon as he parted. You wanted to get lost in the sweet taste of his lips and make a refuge out of his warm embrace. But that was impossible. You had lost your chance with him and now you had nothing left to do but watch him go. It broke your heart, but it hurt more to know that it was your love that caused him pain. Hopefully James could heal now, forget about you, find someone who could make him happy. And you... that didn't matter. What mattered to you was that he was happy.

Two weeks.

Only two weeks had passed and you were totally miserable without James by your side.

You were used to the pain of seeing him walk through the halls without being able to even give him a smile, but it had never felt like this. This time it was much more intense, visceral. A tug at your heart that paralyzed you every time you saw him laughing with another girl. It was the pain of knowing that his heart no longer belonged to you. The pain of his absence, of the lack of his soft touches and gentle words of love whispered in furtive encounters. You missed him and, no matter how hard you tried, it was impossible to hide it.

All your 'friends' knew something was wrong with you, but they didn't care enough to do anything about it. They would make a few teasing comments when they noticed your absence in a group conversation or ask you curiously what it was that you were staring at with such intensity —unaware that your eyes were fixed on James—, but nothing more than that. You were essentially a ghost, a shell of your former self. You moved about the castle and went about your routine as usual, but there was no real emotion behind the fake smile you forced yourself to put on in front of the others. Nothing made sense after losing James.

You had given up on life completely. You had no more energy or motivation to keep fighting anymore, it was too hard. Maybe it was time for you to accept your fate, just like all the women in your family had done. Maybe you had to give up and face the cruel reality: you were not meant to be happy. It made sense, the one time you had pursued your own happiness, away from your parents' wishes, you ended up hurting the only person who had ever truly loved you.

James deserved someone so much better than you. He deserved to be with someone without having to hide, someone who didn't have to think twice before holding his hand or kissing him in public. He deserved someone who wasn't afraid to say he loved him and show it in front of a room full of people. And as much as it hurt, that wasn't you, so you had to give up and let him go. You had to accept that maybe the fact that things didn't go so easily for you was a sign, a message from destiny telling you that you shouldn't be together.

It was the best thing for both of you, you knew that, but that didn't make things any easier. It hurt you to see James talking to Lily, flirting with her in a not-so-subtle way when you were only a couple of feet away. You knew that the best thing for him was to find someone else who could make him happy, but seeing him do exactly that broke your heart.

Why couldn't you be the one for him? Why couldn't you enjoy your love in public like everyone else? Why couldn't you hold his hand as you walked down the halls or kiss him without fearing what others would say? Why couldn't you be happy with him?

You realized then what a big mistake you were making.

You could do all those things with James. The only thing that was really holding you back was your family and the opinions of a bunch of people you didn't care about in the slightest. You were letting them influence you, believing the story that you couldn't be happy unless you followed the path they wanted you to follow. You were giving up your power, your autonomy and your future as your parents expected. You were letting them break your spirit and get away with it by giving up so easily.

Maybe that negative voice in your mind was right and James deserved better, but so did you. You deserved to be happy and have the chance to explore and discover your own destiny. And right now that happiness, that path you wanted to follow, included having James by your side. So you got up from your seat at the Slytherin table —ignoring the looks of confusion from your study group— and ran in search of that destiny.

Finding James wasn't difficult, he was chatting with his friends in the courtyard under the shade of a tree. Lily was with them, but you tried not to let that affect you, taking a deep breath before approaching them. The closer you got, the more you felt the stares of everyone around you. You were the Slytherin princess and everyone was well aware of your parents' position on blood purity. They also knew the opposite position of James, Sirius and most of the Gryffindors. There was no reason for you to be approaching them, so people couldn't take their eyes off you, mumbling under their breath as they watched you walk by.

But you didn't let that get to you. You were determined not to let it bother you ever again. People could talk all they wanted, your parents could get angry and your Slytherin friends could isolate you, none of that mattered to you anymore. All you cared about was James.

"Can we talk?" You cleared your throat both as a way to get noticed as well as to make sure your voice sounded loud and clear.

Everyone looked at you with wide eyes full of surprise, not understanding what it was that someone like you could want to discuss with one of them. Knowing that James hadn't even told Sirius, who was like his brother, about you gave you a bittersweet feeling. On the one hand, it was nice that he had been so willing to keep your secret that he hadn't even mentioned it to his best friend. On the other hand, it made you feel bad to know how alone he had been in all this, and made you wonder if maybe there weren't other reasons why he hadn't told his friends. Maybe he was also afraid of them finding out he was in love with you. Maybe his friends hated you and wouldn't accept James going out with you. Maybe...

"Here?" James spoke, interrupting your thoughts. He looked around, noticing the many eyes glued to your back. "Are you sure?" he insisted, and you nodded. There was not going to be any more sneaking around.

James walked a couple of steps beside you, seeking to get a distance from his friends so that you could have a private conversation. However, when he tried to take advantage of a tree to hide from the prying eyes of the other Hogwarts students, you stopped him, opting to remain in plain sight.

"What are you doing?" He said and you didn't have to ask him what he meant to understand that he was confused by your attitude. The rules had always been clear, no one could see you together because it would raise suspicions and could reach your parents' ears. So he wondered why you were suddenly approaching him to talk to him in a public space.

"I don't care if they see us together!" You spat without hesitation, deciding it was best to get straight to the point. "Not anymore."

"What?" The surprise was clear in James's expression —eyes widening and lips trembling as he spoke. He definitely wasn't expecting you to say that.

"I've been thinking a lot these past few days and I realized how wrong I was. I put you through so much, made you sacrifice everything for me and the moment you told me you had enough I just gave up."

"Y/n, it's okay, I-" He tried to say, but you interrupted him, taking a step towards him and taking one of his hands. James' eyes rested on your intertwined fingers for a moment, before returning to your face.

"Let me finish, this is important." you told him and he simply nodded. "It wasn't fair, the way I treated you. I isolated you and hurted you just because I was scared of my family, of what they might do to me. I made you sacrifice everything for me and when it was my time to do the same I just let you go instead... and that was wrong of me, and I'm here to make it right."

"Y/n, what are you saying?" James asked cautiously, waiting to hear from your own lips what he believed was what you were referring to —that which he had been waiting to hear since the day your relationship had ended.

"I'm saying that I'm sorry. I'm saying that I love you and that I want to fight for us if that still is what you want."

"A-are y-you sure?" It wasn't that James wasn't happy to hear you say that. It was literally a dream come true for him. But he didn't want to force you to do something you would later regret. He hadn't broken up with you to manipulate you, he had done it because he really needed a break. He didn't expect his decision to change your mind, even though he really wanted to. There was nothing in the world James wanted more than to be able to make his love public, but at the same time he didn't want to hurt you. And he knew that your relationship would only bring you trouble.

"I've never been more sure of anything in my entire life." you told him with a smile that made all his doubts and built up sadness disappear. "I want to be with you, Jamie. You are my happiness, and if my parents can't see that...well, that's their problem, not mine."

James smiled, taking a step toward you to close the distance between you. He reached out his hand with the intention of caressing your cheek, but stopped halfway, his eyes looking over your shoulder at the people watching you curiously. At his hesitation, you took his hand in yours and brought it up to your cheek, closing your eyes for a moment as you enjoyed feeling the warmth of his skin against yours once again.

"Can... can I kiss you?" James muttered, his voice an almost inaudible whisper. His eyes were focused on your lips, admiring them with need. He knew it would be best for you to go slowly, but he missed your lips so much that he couldn't contain the need to kiss them again.

"Please."

James looked into your eyes one last time before closing the distance between you, bringing your lips together in a long awaited kiss. It was quick, his lips moving delicately over yours, but no less intense for that. It was just what you both needed at that moment, to feel each other's love, which remained as strong as the day you said goodbye.

Neither of you cared about the looks of the others around you as you pulled away from the kiss. You were too happy for that. All you had to do was look into James' warm eyes and all your worries disappeared. You knew things wouldn't be easy and that you'd probably be hearing your parents' scolding in no time, but you were ready to face it. You could face anything if James promised to stay by your side.

#james potter x reader #james potter x fem reader #james potter x slytherin!reader #james potter angst #james potter fluff #james potter x female reader #ro's 600 followers celebration

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bethanydelleman · 2 months

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I saw a post you reblogged at some point about Fanny being stuck in a time loop and it got me thinking: if the main men (both protagonists and antagonists) of the different Austen novels time travelled back to the day they first met their love interest/the start of the novel - whichever is latest so wentworth, knightley, and Edmund Bertram would travel to the day the main events of their novels start - who do you think would end up changing the least of the events and the most (intentionally or not)?

Because I feel like Knightley would change the least and Henry Tilney and the three S&S gents would come next. But like Wentworth would immediately throw the entire novel off track and like Darcy and Henry Crawford would come in close second trying to change their truly awful first impressions

(Also I just want to add that I really love your Austen takes and discussions 😊)

Thank you!

This is a fascinating idea. Here are my thoughts:

Wentworth just marches into Uppercross Cottage and proposes again. Doesn't even wait to be properly introduced to the family. He's getting Anne back NOW. (She says yes, of course)

I can imagine Darcy having a tiny little crisis as he decides if he really wants to be married to Elizabeth, maybe he could just not accompany Bingley to Netherfield and his life could go the way he planned... nah, he can't resist. Off to Netherfield he goes and he lets Bingley introduce him to Elizabeth at the assembly ball. Things progress unimpeded and by Christmas there is a double wedding and Wickham's character is known throughout Hertfordshire. He skips town and Lydia is packed off to Pemberley to benefit from some better society. (Side note: Mrs. Bennet would push Mr. Collins on Mary if she had any inclination that Darcy liked Elizabeth).

If Bingley knew everything, he'd never leave Jane. He'd return from London and marry her, no matter what Darcy or his sisters said. (I wrote that once actually)

Does Wickham count as a main? Because I don't want him having the ability to predict the future. Yikes on bikes!

Henry Crawford is very interesting, because does he actually understand where he went wrong? I'm not sure he does. Can he resist a flirtation with two very pretty sisters? That would be a fun fan fiction to write. Because if he went for Fanny right off the bat and she knew nothing else about him... he'd probably succeed with her, secret Edmund love or not. And she certainly wouldn't have a leg to stand on in refusing his proposal.

Does Edmund come back in the same timeline as Henry? That would be so agnsty! If not, he'd probably be doing whatever he could to keep Maria and Henry apart, but he's shockingly ineffective in canon, so would he even be able to change anything?

Henry Tilney would probably just try to prevent Catherine being sent home alone. He could easily come back early.

Mr. Knightley's best move would be to tell Robert Martin to propose in person. I doubt Harriet could have resisted. Then he could just sit back and watch everything else play out.

Honestly, I don't know if Frank Churchill would change a thing, other than making sure his final letter was posted to Jane. He enjoyed the subterfuge.

Poor Edward Ferrars has to travel back while engaged to Lucy? I feel like he wouldn't even want to relive the novel, there is nothing he can do anyway.

Colonel Brandon would probably change a lot. He could immediately save Eliza and challenge Willoughby. He might even spare Marianne from a lot of pain.

Reginald de Courcy (Lady Susan) would likely act as well and save Frederica earlier than in the novel.

#question response #this was very fun!#thank you #austen heroes #jane austen #pride and prejudice #mansfield park #northanger abbey #sense and sensibility #emma #persuasion #lady susan

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bless-my-demons · 8 months

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Redamancy: Chapter Fifteen

Series Summary: What happens when your soulmate is a vampire that struggles to maintain a diet of trying not to kill you? Common sense says run for the hills, nothing is worth your life - but my heart is whispering why not, what’s there to lose?

Warnings: So much fucking angst, and ya know - cuss words.

Notes: Okay so this was the chapter that started it all, it’s the very first thing I wrote for this story and it just grew from there. I wanted something that rivaled when Edward left Bella minus the concerning leave her in a forest at night shit. Listen to Don’t Leave Me Now - Emelie Hollow if you want to really hurt after this chapter lol

Word Count: 2335

Series Masterlist

• September 13th, 2005 • Cullen Residence •

Reader

Numb.

It’s a weird feeling - the tingling in your fingers, the ringing in your ears, the copper tang from biting your tongue. I don’t think I’ve even blinked since… Well, since Alice removed me from the war path of her brother.

It was almost as if someone else was in my body, watching this train wreck of a birthday party.

Everything was fine. I was cozied up to Jasper, he was whispering kisses into my hair and rubbing mindless patterns on my back as he held me close. Warm, safe, content, protected.

Until I wasn’t.

Until Alice wrapped an arm around my waist after Bella opened the envelope from Esme and Carlisle. Next thing I knew, I was across the room and Bella had a paper cut.

Chaos was an understatement.

Jasper met my eyes, pitch black hunger showed back instead of the person I was familiar with and a cold shiver ran down my spine. Rose flashed in front of me, drawing his predatory gaze before it finally landed on Isabella. Edward, sensing the turn in Jasper’s attention, pushed Bella away to intercept his brother’s loss of control.

It all happened so quickly, my eyes could barely track what transpired.

Edward shoved Jasper across the room, right into the grand piano under the second floor landing, causing a gasp to rip from my throat. Bella was knocked into a table, colliding with glass that tore open her bicep. Carlilse was torn between helping Emmett restrain Jasper and staunching the blood flow from Bella’s larger cut. I started shaking, one hand covering my mouth and the other gripping Rose’s arm, Alice’s arm still around me and Rose standing before me protectively.

This has to be a nightmare. How did this turn so quickly?

Once Emmett wrestled his brother outside, the Cullen’s took their leave one by one, leaving Bella and I with Carlisle. Escorting Bella to his office to patch her arm up, I'm left alone in a room that looks like a bomb had been set off just moments ago. And it had, our fragile mortality just decimated what was supposed to be a night of celebration. After a few moments of spiraling out, I feel a hand on my elbow bring me back to the present - Esme.

“Dear, let me clean, I don’t want you to accidentally… C’mon.” She tells me in that light motherly tone, trying to be gentle and kind as she leads me away from the shattered glass covered rug.

I can’t accidentally cut myself, not if I want to be around Jasper.

Jasper.

“Where is he?” I ask in a daze.

“Sweetheart-“ but I interrupt her.

“I need to check on him, the others will… make sure I’m alright.” The words are acid in my mouth, it’s almost unfathomable to even doubt my safety in the presence of him.

Almost. And it breaks my heart.

“Garage.” She answers gently.

Jasper

I can’t breathe.

Not that vampires need oxygen, but I’m probably as close to getting a panic attack as one could get.

“Breathe man, everything is fine.” Emmett tries to reassure me, but it’s futile. I’m pacing back and forth in the driveway, while the rest of my adopted siblings watch from the garage.

“Everything is not fine.” Edward states, still as a statue from the corner.

“Dude, not fucking helping.” Rose fires back with a flash of teeth.

I continue my pacing, my fingers tugging on my blonde strands in an effort to ground myself and it’s doing nothing for my anxiety. What did I do? Is Bella alright? Is Y/n? I need to get a fucking grip on this hunger. A paper cut sending me into a spiral, you’ve got to be shitting me-

My internal monologue is interrupted by the door to the house opening from in the garage, the object of my thoughts emerging as if I summoned her.

“Y/n you can’t-“ Emmett starts, but she cuts him off, her eyes only on me.

“Alice, I’ll be fine, right?” She asks my sister without looking in her direction.

After a moment’s pause, “Yes, but-“

“No ‘but’s’, I need to speak with him alone. I trust him completely.” Stubborn and headstrong.

“We’ll be inside.” Alice acquiesces, to whom I’m not really sure.

Out of the corner of my eye I see Rosalie hesitate, protectiveness dripping from her, deliberate and aware that I could feel it. After a short nod from Y/n, she turns sharply to follow the rest of them inside. Odd, the one who abhors humans the most would feel the need to… protect one that’s threatened her way of life.

Before tonight I would’ve laughed, but now? Now I’m not so sure I even trust myself around her.

“Are you alright?” She asks me in the smallest voice I’ve ever heard from her, standing eight feet from where I pace but it might as well be the fucking Pacific Ocean.

I laugh, “Am I alright?” I repeat back to her.

“That was a stupid question, I was just-“

“I’m not fucking alright!” I explode, reaching the end of my sanity. I hear her suck in a breath and I immediately regret the tone in which I threw the words at her, but my thoughts keep flowing.

Reader

“I can’t do this! Not when it’s so easy for me to flip a switch and hurt you!” He exclaims desperately, eyes wild.

“What are you talking about? What do you mean you can’t do this?” I know he could feel the anguish pour out of me in droves at just the thought of what he’s implying. He wouldn’t actually leave over something so small, would he?

“You don’t fucking get it, darlin’... I have to go-I can’t do this, I won’t hurt you. Not if I can help it.” Turning away I stop him in his tracks.

“I love you.” The confession slips before I could reign it in. His back tenses before spinning around in a split second flash.

“Y/n-“ He gapes like a fish out of water, the look on his face is nothing but pure agony as he turns and disappears into the night.

Did he?

Did he just leave?

Even the forest is silent, like it’s waiting with bated breath for my next move.

How did this night start so wonderfully, then turn into this? My mind is empty and too full at the same time... And breathing? When did that become such a task? In and out - but how can I force air in when my heart is in my throat? My lips start to tingle, cheeks prickling painfully.

I close my eyes and shake my head like it’s some Magic 8 ball, trying for a different answer-a different outcome.

This can’t be, denial starts flooding in to try and put out this burning in my chest. There’s no way Jasper Hale just decided so quickly-so easily, to leave me.

There’s no way.

I love him.

That’s enough, right?

I must’ve been standing here for hours. Hours, days, months, years it’s felt like since I was staring into those gorgeous dark eyes filled with such self-hatred.

I jolt out of my thoughts when a pair of cold hands find my shoulders, I glance up to see Emmett’s concerned face. I feel as though the cold has seeped right through my skin, straight to the bone. It’s almost like I’m in this bubble. I see his mouth moving what seems to be a mile a minute, but the ringing in my ears drowns his words out.

Is this what that feels like? Shock? Focus Y/N, focus.

I feel a gentle shake from Emmett’s hold on my shoulders, “Are you alright? What are you doing standing in the driveway alone? Where’s Jasper?”

“He’s gone, Em.” I whisper, turning robotically to where I last saw him.

Emmett’s eyes widened, “He-he what?” I see him glance towards the woods that line the driveway, “I’ll find him and-”

“Emmett no, let him go. No one will change his mind, not right now anyways. Please,” I say a little quieter, “Don’t go.”

He envelopes me in a massive hug, “Never, Y/n/n.”

After a few moments and a small squeeze, he starts to lead me back inside to face the rest of the Cullens, where do I even begin to explain this mess to them?

Everyone gathered in the living room, silent after Emmett gave them a short explanation as to why we were missing a member while I stood next to him with my eyes glued to my shoes.

Looking around to see everyone’s reaction, I first notice a bandage wrapped around Bella’s bicep - Carlisle’s handiwork underneath, no doubt. Standing an awkward distance away from his girlfriend I notice Edward scarily still, no trace of emotion on his face which causes a shiver to snake down my spine. I turn, seeing Esme have what looks like a silent conversation with her husband through meaningful and pained expressions, I quickly look away knowing it’ll break my heart even more to watch the exchange. Rosalie walks over to take Emmett’s hand on his opposite side, his other still on my upper back - grounding me. Her face was a perfect depiction of concern directed at her mate, I couldn’t deal with that either, so I glanced at the last face in the room - Alice. Her features are torn and taught, like she’s searching the future and not liking what she’s seeing.

I feel like my life is just slipping from beyond my control, this has to be a horrible dream. It couldn’t have been more than an hour ago that I was standing right here, in this room, with Jasper’s arm draped around my waist, watching Bella descend those stairs.

I wonder a few steps beyond Emmett’s reach and stop, needing out of this house but not quite ready to be alone, I turn back around to my best friend and plead, “Em, take me home?”

Sparing a glance to his girlfriend who tilts her head in a nod of understanding, “Of course, let me grab the keys to the Jeep.”

It only takes a second with his speed to stand in front of me again, “Alright, let’s get out of here.”

I turn to Esme before I’m fully out the door, “Thank you for hosting the party tonight, it was lovely while it lasted.”

Her face scrunches in sadness, “Oh honey-“

“Goodnight everyone.” I say as Emmett steers me into the garage.

“Don’t do that, you don’t have to-“

“Have to what?” I cut him off as I shut the passenger door, the sound reverberating in the enclosed space.

“You don’t always have to spare everyone’s feelings at the expense of your own.” He climbs in himself and jams the keys in the ignition, the familiar rumble of his beloved machine filling the silence.

“It’s fine-everything is fine, this isn’t happening. It can’t be.”

“Y/n-“ He starts, but I cut him off as he activates the garage door and pulls out.

“No Em, it’s-I just can’t okay? I don’t know my head from my heart right now and I just need to hold myself together like this for just a little bit longer, alright? My sanity is dangling by a thread.” Running my fingers through my hair, I turn towards the passenger door to lean on it.

The rest of the ride is spent in silence. I know he wants to talk, to say the magic words that fix this widening hole in my heart that’s growing by the second, but he can’t. No words can fix this, nothing fixes this sudden loneliness that Jasper created the moment he decided this course of action in our situationship. So I stare out my window, trees flying by, the outside world a blur.

Pulling up in front of my house, I spy the porch light my mom must’ve left on for me, assuming I’d get home late. I hear the engine cut off and turn to my left, surely he isn’t going-

“I’m coming up.” His eyes set like he’s on a mission.

“Are you crazy? Hell no, I’m not about to let you sulk in the corner while I bawl my eyes out like some pathetic pity party!” Throwing my hands up.

“Listen, Y/n-“

“Besides, your Jeep in the driveway is going to look suspicious! Even if you park it down the street, my mom is familiar with it.” I try to reason with him.

“But-” Emmett continues to try and sway me.

“Em, I’ll be fine,” I whine, “I know you’re worried, I’ll have my phone and I’ll text you tomorrow. This isn’t your responsibility to fix, I just think I need to be alone right now.”

He lets loose a deep sigh, “I’m just worried about you is all.”

“I know, I’m sorry. You’re just looking out for me and I appreciate it.” I look back to my house, “Maybe come over in a day or two? When I’ve had some time to process it all?”

“Of course, I’ll see if I can find this idiot and figure out where his head is at. Maybe beat him up for ditching my best friend in the dark.” He shoots me a playful grin, trying to lighten the mood.

“Emmett...” My eyebrows push together, his thoughtfulness constricting my throat.

“Go to bed, call me if you need to talk or whatever, everything will be fine.” He pats my leg in reassurance.

I climbed out of his massive Jeep and shut the door. Glancing behind me as I walk away, he gives me his signature lopsided smile as the engine turns over and he begins backing out of the drive.

Everything will be fine, yeah?

Yeah fucking right.

Who knew that was the last time I would see them, two weeks ago.

Everything was most definitely not fine.

Taglist:

@aoi-targaryen @min-jianhyung @pbbsl @timelordhunterandmysterysolver @sheerangermany @clearwater-hoe @blackbluerose666 @ivy-plays @random-human02 @delightfulbluebirdstarlight @steh-lar-uh-nuhs @gaymazinglula @l3ejm @angelfuzzy2 @losa12308 @thekinkpopstandsforkrackheads @flyawayprincess @ropickle @catbusloki @deviat3dsn0wf0x @lovesanimals0000 @unrevived @h-naec @cutesnakemum @zudooms @itsmytimetoodream @stinkii-boii @acoolnight @anothercoffeeblogx @irishblend10 @from-now-on-im-switzerland @kyraslife2 @naolvshan @kiiwiigii @rosedpetal @kiaraandrea

For some reason I can’t tag some of you🥺

#bless-my-demons #redamancy series #jasper hale x reader #twilight fanfiction #twilight #jasper whitlock hale #jasper hale fanfiction #jasper hale #jasper hale x female!reader #female reader insert

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bella-rose29 · 25 days

Text

April Fool's! ~ a DTH special

here's the first of (I'm sure) many Deck the Halls specials! in honour of April Fool's Day I figured it was the perfect occasion to write a lil something about our Schmoopies (who love to prank each other)

I did take a teeny bit of inspiration from @tangledinlove's heart eyes series (which if you haven't read then go now! also I recommend everything on love's master list) and wrote this special through the eyes of Holly, George, and Lucy!

edit: I should add in now that you probably could read this as a standalone? there are some references in there that might be teeny spoilers but tbh DTH is pretty formulaic so you could figure out the plot just from the summary 😂

Warnings: one or two swear words, and I think that's it? maybe a spoiler in the form of Holly being there?

Word count: 1.7k

anthony lockwood master list

enjoy the pictures of lockwood and Cameron being silly boys!

“Where is he?”

Holly looked up from where she sat at the kitchen table writing a shopping list to study the girl who stood in the doorway. Y/n had her hands on her hips and a frown on her face, and Holly felt sorry for whoever she was looking for. No doubt it was Lockwood, having forgotten an important anniversary or something, who was provoking the glare that had settled over Y/n’s features.

“Lockwood?” Holly asked, returning her attention to the shopping list. She tapped the pencil against her temple while trying to think of what she was missing.

“Yep. Have you seen him? I’ve got a bone to pick with him, the little shit.”

Holly snorted, then a thought popped into her head. She wrote down ‘tomatoes’ in neat print with her pen. “What’s he done this time?”

The other girl huffed and moved further into the kitchen, pulling open cupboards with a little too much force. “He’s pranked me! Hid all the toothbrushes in the house and now I can’t brush my teeth!”

“I- he did what?” That was such a random thing to do, and yet it was very perfectly Lockwood. “Why would he prank you?” Holly’s colleague stopped in her tracks, arms spread open with the cupboard handles in each hand, and slowly turned around. Instead of the initial frustration that had been on her face there was now confusion.

“You… you do know what day it is… right?” Holly shook her head, brows creasing. “It’s April Fool’s Day? First of the month?” Realisation dawned, and she rushed to stifle her laugh when Y/n started glaring again. “Why is that funny? Lockwood hid all the toothbrushes, Holly! How do I brush my teeth now?! I had Weetabix this morning and my mouth feels all gross,” she complained.

“I think he went out for a walk or something,” Holly answered, finishing up her list. “That was a while ago, though, so he should be back in a minute.” No sooner than she’d stopped talking the sound of the front door opening made both girls look in the direction of the hall. Shuffling noises followed while the person moved around, then footsteps grew louder and the kitchen door was pushed open to reveal the head of the company.

Anthony Lockwood was many things: a great boss, slightly suicidal at times (although the number of occasions that he threw himself directly into danger had decreased significantly after the Christmas holidays), an excellent swordsman, and a loving boyfriend to Y/n.

But as Holly watched Y/n she knew that he was also in a lot of danger.

“Ah. Hello, Darling. Holly.” He was wary, gaze flicking between the two girls as he stayed holding on to the door handle. Y/n’s eyes narrowed, and Lockwood’s attention was suddenly solely on his girlfriend. His smile faltered slightly, and there was a split second where both he and Y/n sort of… hovered, the tension in the room palpable.

Then the chaos started.

Lockwood turned and fled the room, footsteps heavy on the stairs, and Y/n was hot on his heels, yelling as she thundered after him. Holly could hear their laughter echoing through the house, and she let out a chuckle of her own as she stood up and folded the shopping list, putting it in her pocket.

Her boss was going to suffer dearly for the rest of the morning for withholding the toothbrushes, but he wouldn’t be physically harmed.

A thump sounded on one of the upper floors, something that sounded worryingly like a body hitting the ground, and pleads of mercy followed immediately while mixed in with laughter.

She was tickling him, then. Going for the feet if she wanted maximum effect or sitting on him and going for his sides if she was smart and didn’t want him wriggling away.

Holly picked up a bag and her keys in the hallway, and made for Arif’s. Hopefully Lockwood would no longer be a hostage by the time she got back.

~~~

George Karim was normally quite forgiving when it came to Y/n, but printing out tens of pictures of Penelope Fittes was a step too far for him.

“Why do you even want to do this anyway? I thought after the whole… ‘fake-dating-turned-real-dating’ thing over Christmas you weren’t fighting anymore.” He was spread in front of the printer in his room, blocking his friend from accessing it. Since getting back from her family’s house in the middle of nowhere a few months ago, after snowstorms stretched out their Christmas, Lockwood and Y/n had been annoyingly cute and coupley.

“He hid all the toothbrushes, George. He’s having a nap right now because I tickled him into exhaustion, so I’ve not got much time before-” she broke off when George tackled her to prevent her from using the printer.

“Okay… well why does that mean you’re printing loads of pictures of Penelope Fittes? The head of the company we hate?”

“… Because I’m going to cut them out and replace all the photos in the house with them.” The pair of them stopped squirming and George pushed his glasses back up his nose to stare in shock and confusion at her.

“You… what?”

“It’s April Fool’s. I’ve got like… two hours left before midday. Please, Georgie. I have to get revenge.” He sighed, then released his grip on her.

“Fine. But when he gets annoyed, you are not linking this to me. I’m not getting dragged into all of this.”

The two of them spent the next fifteen minutes printing photos and cutting them out, and when it sounded like Lockwood was stirring, Y/n sent George to keep him distracted. He penned his boss in the library where he’d fallen asleep earlier, spewing facts about the next case they were going to go on to keep Lockwood there while Y/n snuck around the house. He wasn’t sure how long he’d been waffling on about murder victims and Type 2s, but when Lockwood’s girlfriend tentatively peeked around the door he had to stop himself from visibly sighing in relief.

“You alright, Schmoopie?” Where the nickname had come from, George had no idea, but Y/n was the only one who used it and specifically only when she wanted to piss off Lockwood. Lockwood himself knew this too, and George could immediately see the suspicion creep in.

“… yeah. Are you?”

“Hm? Oh, yep!” Her grin was wide, and looked rather like a shark, and George wondered why Lockwood was staring all heart-eyed at her despite being suspicious. “Just been… finding toothbrushes.” It was Lockwood’s turn to smile now, boyish delight making him perk up.

“Get any?”

“Eventually. Took me a bloody long time though,” she mumbled the last part, but the boys still heard. George snickered. Lockwood’s smile grew. “Anyway… tea?”

“Alright then,” Lockwood replied, stretching out a hand and moving over to the doorway. Y/n took it, planting a kiss on her boyfriend’s cheek before pulling him out the room.

She sent a wink over her shoulder at George as they turned the corner and disappeared.

~~~

So far, the pranks were one each.

Lucy had noticed Y/n putting photos of Penelope Fittes in all the picture frames around 35 Portland Row, and when her friend had explained why, she had gladly joined in. Any opportunity to mess with Lockwood was an opportunity that Lucy took.

Around half an hour after Lockwood had reappeared from the library, he still hadn’t noticed that all of the photos had been replaced. He’d spotted one or two maybe, but that was it. Some were more sneaky than others, and Lucy knew that Lockwood would be finding Penelope Fittes photos for weeks after today.

Now she was sat in the living room with George, Holly, and Y/n, sketching in her pad. There was near silence in the room, the clock ticking and what sounded like suppressed snorts of laughter outside the door the only noises. Lucy frowned, glancing at the door every few seconds. After another minute or so of stifled laughter Lockwood appeared, mouth pinched to hide the smile on his face as he walked in and sat on the arm of his normal armchair where Y/n was sat.

“…Lockwood?” Lucy asked. “Why are you wearing a hat? You’re… indoors?”

“Oh! Just felt like it! Thought it would be nice to wear something a little more fun. For morale, you know?”

Y/n looked up then, and gaped at the top hat perched on her boyfriend’s head. “You’re ridiculous, Anthony.”

“Yep. We’ve had this conversation before, Darling.” All talk died down after that, Lockwood occasionally murmuring a word or two to help Y/n with her crossword, and the members of the agency were at peace. At some point Lockwood excused himself to the toilet, and when he came back around five minutes later (they’d all heard the toilet flush) there was something slightly off about him. He still had the top hat on, but something was bugging Lucy.

The same process repeated, Lucy looking up at him every now and then to try and figure out what was different and Y/n doing the same (the two girls had shared multiple confused looks), and then Lockwood excused himself to get a plate of biscuits. When he came back, Lucy once again felt something was off. The biscuits were passed around, crossword helped, top hat still in place, then Lockwood came up with another reason to leave the room.

It was the fourth time he returned that Y/n appeared to realise what was happening. “Ohh, I see what you’re doing, Anthony Lockwood.”

“Do you?” he asked, innocent as a child. “I’ve noticed the photographs - don’t think I haven’t.”

“Oh, have fun finding them all. Why do you have multiple sizes of the same top hat?”

Lockwood shrugged. “Disguises. Why did you have so many photos of the head of the Fittes company?”

“Does it matter? You’ll be finding them for weeks.”

They finished their friendly bickering in hushed tones, Y/n standing up to let Lockwood sit down and balance her on his lap, and Lucy smiled softly at them.

After wrangling the whole story of what had happened over the Christmas holidays out of the two of them, Lucy had spent roughly the last two and a half months teasing the living daylights out of the couple for their antics, but she couldn’t deny how cute they were together.

She just hoped that the current poking in the sides they were doing didn’t turn into decking each other instead.

Cut scene (alternative prank):

Now she was sat in her room in the attic, one leg hanging off the edge with the other folded underneath while she drew in her sketchbook. The creaking of the steps up to her floor alerted her to someone’s presence, and after a few seconds Lockwood’s head appeared, followed by his body. “Ah, Luce, thought I’d find you here.” He had something in his hand, shiny in a crinkly plastic bag. “I need your help to-” he broke off, mid-movement while he peered at one of the pictures on Lucy’s bedside table. It was of the five of them, Lockwood, George, Holly, Y/n, and herself, except in the place of Skull sat on the sideboard was Penelope Fittes’ face. “Oh for fuck’s sake. Did she put some of these up here, too?” Lucy struggled not to smile.

“Must have done it when I was in the kitchen earlier.” That was a lie, Lucy had done it herself. “What did you need me for?”

“Ah!” He lifted the plastic bag and grinned. “Doubloons. Not real ones, obviously, I bought them from a cheap party shop down the road. I’m going to hide them around the house.”

Tag list:

@strawberryloveyyy, @chameleon021, @genderfluid-anime-goth, @cottagecore-babe, @anthonylockwoodandco111, @a-taken-url, @ahead-fullofdreams, @aislinrayne, @anathemaloren, @anthgoldenhrry, @augustisintheair, @aysha4life, @briar-rose23, @curseofhecate, @dangelnleif, @edible-rat-vomit, @el-de-phi, @ell0ra-br3kk3r, @ettadear, @fearlessmoony, @fudosl, @idkbubs, @imaginebeingmentallystable, @informedimagining, @karensirkobabes, @lady-ashfade, @light-23, @locklyebrainrot, @locklyle1kanij, @locknco, @magicandrosewaters, @mentallyillsodapop, @mischivana, @mitskiswift99, @mrsklockwood, @mrsyixingunicorn10, @newbooksmell777, @no-morning-glories, @novelizt, @phlooper, @ran23sblog, @reggiepeterss, @simrah1012, @somethingrandomwatzit, @star-of-velaris, @superpositvecloudshipper, @t2sh0, @taygrls, @tournesol77, @whistle1whistle, @whenselenefallsinlove, @wordsarelife, @y0urm0m12, @zoom1374, @asyouwish-fromcabin3, @rhysand-devorak, @a-candle-maker, @h0lyheck, @apple-bottom-jeans6, @icantwaittoliveandlearn

@neewtmas, @bobbys-not-that-small, @avdiobliss, @demigoddess-of-ghosts, @maraschinomerry, @lewkwoodnco, @uku-lelevillain, @oblivious-idiot

as always, if there is anybody who wants to be added to my lockwood tag list, then please go here!

#deck the halls (and not your partner)#deck the halls specials #lockwood and co #lockwood & co #anthony lockwood #anthony lockwood x reader #lockwood x reader #anthony lockwood x you

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gingergofastboatsmojito · 12 days

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It's all in the side notes

I can’t believe why is not painfully obvious for everybody else too, it's like everyone notices everything around it except this huge elephant in the Sydcarmy room.

Let me explain:

The side notes on the script are what the actors play, not just the script itself. The subtexts, the nuances, the silences, all of that is indicated by the director and rehearsed over and over before shooting at least 2 takes of every single scene.

02X01 was about teamwork towards The Bear's opening, that's why the director opened and closed the ep with that, to make that point. The side notes were all about playing every single scene with a SOU, fast-paced dialogues, etc, because every second counts and that's why a clock was ticking on pretty much every scene.

When 02x02 ends with a close-up of Claire smiling after Carmy gives her the wrong number, that´s not the point the director tried to make, but that Carmy TOOK HIS FUCKING TIME in giving her the wrong number, he almost gave it to her in slow motion, meaning that as he was giving it to her he was deciding what he eventually ended up doing with the last digit. He was on the fence the whole time and ended up deciding to "cut her off politely" in a very Carmy way. That was a side note in the script (the speech rate and the "decide as you go", and "be doubtful first" part).

In 02x03, the Sydcarmy vs Clairmy battle really began and it continued throughout the whole S2, all side notes because the script was barely obvious about Claire until he said: "I have to call my GF" after passing the gas inspection. Notice a pattern here? Or is it just me?

02X04 was mostly focused on Marcus in Copenhagen and introduced us to Chef Luca, raising the question, on purpose leaving it as an unanswered question - that will probably be answered in S3- on whether Luca was talking about Carmy when he was talking about a chef that was way better than him and that inspired him to become the chef he is today and up his game as much as he could. In other words: Not Sydcarmy material. Except we buy into the whole SydMarcus shipping they tried to insinuate with the Facetime call, which I won't get into because I feel dirty even typing about it. How dare they? Is it because they are both black? WTF?!! Well, my point is this is probably the least Sydcarmy episode of the season and we need to make a mental note about who directed it.

02x05 This episode's arc is all about the script's side notes: "Who's Claire? / I'm saying goodnight!" is all about the intonation, not the actual words. This is the bridge of the whole Sydcarmy song, that's why it's mid-season. Notice something? I have...

02x06 The masterpiece, it's all about the side notes but again, super non Sydcarmy, it's just supposed to show us The Berzatto's background story so Syd is not part of the equation. Claire is, in a way that will later make a lot more sense during Omelette's panic attack, of course.

02x07 AKA: My favest, is also a non-Sydcarmy kinda ep. Is all about Cousin's arc. BTW: I 100% ship these 2 and I hope S3 brings more RichJess fluff and stuff:

02X08 is all about the side notes again and takes us right back into SydCarmy vs Clairmy territory. Carmy had to call his new GF after passing the inspection to give her the good news.

02x09 I shouldn't even have to say a damn thing about this ep. Other than pointing out the obvious: IT'S THE MOST SYDCARMY EP OF THE WHOLE FUCKING SEASON, TYVM!

All I'm gonna add is that Carmy is laying awake after having sex with her:

I already talked about the common blue light in this scene here.

I'm not even gonna get into his panic attack. I mean... Do I have to? Seriously?

Anyway...

Storer finally joined the ship Calo was sailing since the beginning of the season here and all the side notes in this script are HIS.

The cinematography is his, the music is his, and every line, because he co-wrote it with Sydcarmy CEO: Joanna Calo herself.

And so we arrive to 02X10 where Sydcarmy is eaten alive by The Bear but ironically enough the one who doesn't survive is the Clairmy team LMAO! Sydcarmy on the other hand keeps going strong (Ayo was promoted to co-star for a reason, she's no longer part of the cast, she's the female lead of the show now) and in S3 we'll get to see how exactly will that play out.

My point is: The director and then the editors in the ER with the EP's sign-off can change what the writers write if they choose to and the actors have to perform the side notes according to the director's instructions.

In this case, since Storer joined the Calo Sydcarmy ship as I previously mentioned and usually they co-write and always co-produce the seasons those scripts, side notes, musicalizations and editions ARE ALL THEIRS. Every time Calo touches something, she turns it into Sydcarmy gold, and Storer and her are on the same page. That's why most Sydcarmy eps of the season were hers or his or directed by both.

June can't get here soon enough.

#gingerpovs #the bear #sydcarmy #the bear fx #the bear hulu #carmy x sydney #sydney adamu #syd x carmen #sydcarmy for life

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n0vabug · 9 months

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Insomnia

So the readers mom gets like sick and put into the hospital and the reader finds out, but doesn't tell sam because she didn't want sam to worry, so she snuck off everyday to the hospital to visit her, She developed depression and really bad anxiety and insomnia and sam finds out. Sorry if it's not good, I forgot about this and then came back to it and rushed the end so yeah 👍.

This contains: mentions of depression, anxiety, insomnia, angst, a little fluff (I would've wrote more but I needed to post smth 😭😭), and other stuff like this. If this or anything else makes you uncomfortable, I recommend that you do NOT read this. Words: 1757

THIRD PERSON POV

Sam, Y/n, Mindy, Chad, and Tara, have all moved to NY six months ago after the ghostface attacks. Y/n's mom lived in New York and Y/n was always close with her mom, her mom made her feel loved and always put her first, when Y/n first told her mom about dating sam, her mom was very supportive and loved sam like she loved Y/n. When Y/n told her mom that they were moving to NY, her mom was very happy. Her mom lived in Brooklyn while Y/n and Sam lived in the city so they lived about 30 minutes away from each other. After 2 months of living in NY, Y/n's mom got really sick and put into the hospital, she eventually fell into a coma. Y/n's dad left her and her mom when she was 2 so they had no contact with him, so Y/n was the only person the hospital called when she got put there, since they had no other family, her mom's parents died and her sister lived in another country and has no contact with them. Y/n snuck off to the hospital every day to visit her mom, she hasn't slept in 4 months and hasn't been the same. Anika quickly became best friends with Y/n, so when she wasn't with Mindy, she was with Y/n. Sam and Anika have noticed but Y/n just lies and says she is fine.

Y/N'S POV

It was 1pm, which was the usual time that I went to visit my mother in the hospital, I told sam that I had to go to my job, praying she wouldn't find any of this out. The insomnia, the depression, the anxiety, the pills, everything else, all of it, if she found out, she would be pissed that I've been lying to her.

"Bye sam, I have to go to work."

"Yep, I know, bye." She came over to me and tried to hug me before I left, but I flinched when she put her arms out, causing her to not hug me.

"You okay?"

"Yeah, I'm great, love you, bye."

"Love you too..." was the last thing I heard before walking out the door and to my car.

SAM'S POV

Y/n has been acting really weird lately, she usually loves physical touch but she flinches every time I try to hug her, she hates only saying "love you" because she says "it has less meaning if you don't put the I in front of it" but she hasn't said "I love you" in who knows how long, she stares off into space all the time, and her eyes, they look exhausted. She goes to her job everyday at 12:30 pm, she doesn't tell me where she works and she shows up very late every night. Anika was the only one to seem who noticed. Anika was thankfully at our dorm so I could tell her what happened this time, Chad, Ethan, Tara, Anika, and Quinn all had a small hangout. I walked up to Anika to pull her aside for a second.

"Hey can I talk to you for a second?" I asked

"Yeah, is everything okay?"

"Yeah, it's just something important I have to talk to you about." I said before walking into my room with her following behind.

"She's being weird again." I told her

"What happened this time?" She asked me, we always told each other if she was acting weird, we asked her if she was okay, but she always said yes, we both doubted it though.

"She said 'love you' again and flinched when I tried to hu g her."

"Ask her about it Sam, and this time don't just ask if she's okay, because she obviously isn't, tell her that she can trust you, and she can tell you anything, but if she doesn't say anything just give her time, she'll open up about it soon."

"I can try, if I see her tonight, thanks Anika, you can go back to Mindy now."

One secret I knew about Y/n was that even though she was 25, she still kept a notebook that she wrote in like a diary, like a 13 year old. I knew I shouldn't have, but I wanted to figure out what was going on, so I looked in the place she hid it, and grabbed it, I opened it and started reading.

June 2022

One of my mom's friends went over to her house today, they found her passed out on the floor, she called an ambulance and they took her in, she was put in a coma, I don't know how to feel, but I told sam I got a job, and left today to visit her at the hospital, she was cold, lifeless, seeing her like this hurt me, I couldn't tell sam, I didn't want her to worry about me, plus it'll ll probably be fine soon.

September 2022

It's been 3 months, she's not awake, I've had little to no sleep during this time, I developed depression and worse anxiety problems, I sneak to the hospital everyday at 1pm still claiming I'm going to work. I think Sam and Anika have started to notice, they ask me a lot if I'm okay. Every time Sam touches me, I think of my mom when I was little, I know it's a weird comparison but idk it's just how I feel, I miss it, but I just don't want a reminder of what's been going on.

October 2022 I've suffered from insomnia for 4 months now, all because in my restless dreams, I see her face, her pale lifeless body, laying there. It's all getting worse, I still haven't told sam, I don't want her to worry.

Y/N'S POV

I walked into the room my mom was in, again, like I have for the last four months. I'm staring at her cold lifeless body, every time I see her my heart just shatters, seeing her like this everyday, asking myself if it will ever just get better.

Before all of this happened, I loved physical touch, when sam's warm soft hands would intertwine with my fingers, or wrap around my waist. I loved it. I miss it, but every time she touches me, I think of my mom. When sam puts her hands on my shoulders it makes me think of a game me and my mom played where I would hide and when she found me she would be secretive and put her hands on my shoulders to scare me. When sam hugs me I think of how I would run into my mom's arms everyday she picked me up from school. When sam kisses me on the forehead or cheek, I think of my mom kissing my forehead or cheek when saying goodnight. It is a weird comparison but of course my mom did it out of love, but family type of love, while sam does it out of romantic love, but her touch just reminds me of my mom when I was a kid. I understand it sounds weird, but idk.

~~~

I get back to the apartment, thinking it would be a normal day, but the second I saw sam, I was interrogated with many questions.

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"Is she okay?"

"Are you okay, well I know the answer to that, but you should've told me, I worry more now that you didn't tell me about this."

I looked at her confused, why would she know any of this, I couldn't think why she would know, until she held up the diary, I know I'm 25 and it's stupid but it's a nice way to get my feelings out.

"I uh, I don't know, I'm sorry, I should've told you sooner." Tears brimmed at my eyelids, I tried to hold them back but I couldn't, I stared at sam for a moment until the warm tears trickled down my cheeks and wouldn't stop. She gave me a concerning look, but didn't hug me because she knew about the touch thing. I walked up to her, wrapped my arms around her, and tightly gripped onto her shirt. She wrapped her arms around me and rubbed my back, she put her other hand on my head until she picked me up, my legs wrapped around her waist and face buried in the crook of her neck.

We sat there for a few minutes until I calmed down.

"Listen, you know you can tell me anything right? It hurts me to see you in this state, I can see you have barely slept, I've noticed the anxiety and everything else. You can talk to me whenever, if you want to talk to me about this, I'm willing to listen whenever you're ready and whenever you want to talk. I love you." Is what she said before kissing my forehead.

"Thank you, I'm sorry that I didn't tell you before, I just couldn't, but you know now so I'll tell you more about it later, I'm still not exactly ready. I love you sam."

She looked at me and smiled, she then passionately kissed me, and ofc not being able to resist, I kissed her back. I love her.

A/N Sorry about the end, I kind of forgot about this and needed to quickly finish it 😭😭😭, anyways it's almost summer and i'm really excited, except for the fact that I have to leave my friends which makes me very sad, I wished for it to be summer and now it almost is and I regret it because I might not see some of my best friends ever again ☹️☹️. Anyways I hope you liked this chapter.

UPDATE: WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK WAS GOING ON THROUGH MY HEAD WHEN I WROTE THIS, IM NGL I HATE IT, BUT IT HAD THE SECOND HIGHEST AMOUNT OF VOTES ON WATTPAD 😭😭. ALSO FUCK THE AUTHORS NOTE, ITS ALMOST SCHOOL, AND IM NOT FUCKING EXCITED, IT WAS ONLY ONE FRIEND I WAS LEAVING BRO, AND I STILL TALK TO HER, BUT WTF WAS GOING THROUGH MY MIND WHILE WRITING THIS, I MEAN ITS WHATEVER IG. BTW THIS AND SICK WERE ALSO FROM MAY.

#sam carpenter x reader #sam carpenter x female reader #sam carpenter x fem reader #samantha carpenter x reader #sam carpenter #scream #anika kayoko x reader #anika kayoko #mindy meeks martin #mindy meeks x reader #sidney prescott x reader #sidney prescott #tatum riley x reader #tatum riley

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sanccharine · 4 months

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the way everyday goes | ty

christmas au

pairing: tzuyu x gn!reader

genre: fluff

word count: 7k

warning: again so sweet it'll rot your teeth ;-;

summary: your bank account may be crying, but that doesn't matter when you spend money on the people you love most

a/n: this year (last years rip) christmas fic, would anyone believe me if i said everything was ready to be posted ?? i just got lazy, i'm sorry HAFGDHSKFH thanks to @eternallyghosting my human spelling and grammar check but ngl tho, i wrote this fic very weirdly, so expect some things to not add up, but yeah !! happy new year !!

When Tzuyu opened the door to her studio, she seemed the furthest thing from happy to see you. Though that was often the expression she wore when dealing with the likes of you.

You, on the other hand, wore a wide grin, shaking a large bag of chips in one hand and a bottle of iced coffee in the other.

She was dressed in her usual garb. The one she wore when she locked herself in her room for an ungodly amount of days. An extra large sweatshirt that fell to her thighs with matching sweatpants in black colour. The only indicator of her tension is the frayed hem of one corner, no doubt picked at the seam while she reads all of her essays and articles and textbooks.

Tzuyu was unamused, but you were used to that. No harm done. Scoffing at her deadpan look, you shoved your way into her small house. When she didn’t step to the side, your back clipped the door frame, while all she did was watch you with her owlish eyes.

“Good morning,” you said, throwing another grin at her over your shoulder as you made your way straight to her study desk. Tzuyu had barely moved, holding the door open and just watching you run around her home as if it were your own. “Come on, why do you look like that? Catch!”

And you threw the chips packet at her.

Your smile only widened as Tzuyu watched the packet fly across the distance between you and let it fall to her feet. She looked at the packet and then at you and then back at the packet. With a sigh, she closed the door behind her.

You expected as much from her and shrugged. “Have fun with your crumbs,” you said, observing her study desk.

“Oh, I will,” she mumbled and bent down to pick up the fallen treat.

Exams are over. Results were coming out soon for the semester. And best of all, your holidays have started. The campus is closed for a whole week until New Year’s, truly there was nothing to frown at. Yet, there you stood scrutinising Tzuyu’s desk.

Her laptop is open on some unit site, codes and words that meant nothing to you. Her notebooks were strewn open with loose sheets, all highlighted and annotated with multicoloured pens. Sticky notes infiltrated every part of your vision. It overwhelmed you. Though, you supposed a student like Tzuyu could only function as such.

“What—What is all…” you gestured loosely at her table, “this?”

Tzuyu, still at her place in front of the door, tilted her head to the left as she opened the chips packet. Her blank stare was just a touch away from a glare as she decided not to grace you with a response.

You were used to her tricks. Same as she was to your taunts.

“You know the semester is over right, like, you can rest now,” you say, but Tzuyu scoffed.

She made her way towards you and headed to the cupboard behind. But not before offering you some of her chips, you tipped the crumbs into your mouth.

“I have to prepare for postgrad,” she said, “you know that.”

“Oh, what postgrad?” you asked, feigning cluelessness but Tzuyu just sent a scathing glare over her shoulder. “Do you mean the postgrad that starts in September of next year?”

“Second week of October,” she said, as she pushed hangers out of the way as if they’d personally offended her.

“Oh, even worse,” you sighed dramatically, throwing your arm over your forehead though she didn’t turn having seen this routine so many times. “That’s what? Only like a year’s worth of time—”

“It’s only ten months.”

“Oh sorry, only ten months, that’s truly so little time,” you said, purposely standing in her way when she turned to lay out her pick on the bed. Tzuyu liked to visualize her clothes.

“That time will pass in a flash—get! Get out of my way!” she shoved you to the side and walked to her bed before continuing. “Before you know it, the semester will start and you’ll be wondering how you’re already behind on assignments.”

That was such a fatalistic belief that only a student like Tzuyu can hold. Even when she, herself, has disproved such thinking.

“Yeah, but you did promise to take a break for a while,” you said, a bit of seriousness slipping in but you caught yourself. Shrugging exaggeratedly for effect and took a moment to consider. After a pause, you clapped your hands together. “Like how we said we’d go out and celebrate today! Remember that?”

“Can’t say I do. Is that why you’re up so early today?” she said as she moved back and forth pulling out pieces to complete her outfit. Tzuyu then returned to her cupboard, shuffling something around in there. You’d say that she was trying to figure out how to complete her look, but knowing her, she’d probably planned her outfit for the day.

You looked at your wrist, there was no watch. “Yeah, getting up before twelve was a real struggle,” you said and you moved right by her as she finally picked out a manuka winter coat. She ignored the way you clung to her side, though you didn’t miss the small smile she wore. Donning a smile of your own, you continued. “But you know those are the sacrifices I make for our relationship.”

“Oh, is that right?” Tzuyu asked, following along with your playacting.

“Oh yeah, I’ve been waiting all week for this day. All month even, you could say. Just for this, this very special, oh-so-jolly day. All only to get some time to spend with you, my—” You had just opened your arms to cage Tzuyu from moving around but she’d stopped you with a hand to chest.

“It’s not that serious,” her words were clipped but she was smiling. “Calm down, now.”

“Now, why would I do that?” you asked, arms still outstretched, you jutted your chin at them, waiting for your hug.

Tzuyu rolled her eyes but still relented.

She giggled when your arms closed around like how a claw machine would around a toy. And similarly—

“Don’t—” her words ended in a squeal as you lifted her up and spun her around, a little wobbly on your feet just to mess with her.

You dragged her down to her bed, crumpling her perfectly set up clothes on the way, and burst into giggles. All the while Tzuyu grumbled her distaste at being lifted up while struggling to get away from your hold.

“Stop laughing!” she shrieked, pushing herself away as giggles escaped her lips as well. “Seriously, seriously! I’ll go get ready, let me go now!”

You just hummed and rolled away as she hurriedly got off the bed. She straightened herself up before tugging at her clothes from beneath you. All you did was watch her, a cold sensation climbed up your arms.

“You’re unbelievable,” she was flushed when she said it, but grinning ear to ear as she made her way to her bathroom.

By the time the pair of you had reached the bus station, you had finished both the packet of chips and your bottle of iced coffee. Swiping her card quickly, Tzuyu made her way to the back of the bus and picked a two-seater. This early in the morning and this far out of the city, there was barely anyone on the bus. She shuffled herself next to the window just as you took a seat next to her.

The bus had already moved from the station when Tzuyu pulled out her phone and earphones from her pockets. Without even looking at you, she handed you the left earphone after putting the right one on. When you accepted, she pressed play and leaned back with her eyes closed.

You watched her for a second, a reprieve from when she wasn’t studying you back. You heard a chime somewhere in your vicinity, but you didn’t turn away, your stop wasn’t up until a while.

Tzuyu often looked perfect.

Of course, that was simple to say because she was beautiful. There was no doubt about it.

But it wasn’t so surface-level. It bled into how she carried herself and practically built her facade.

She’d said it herself.

“Repetition leads to routine, and practice leads to perfection. It’s monotonous but it brings order. They set a standard,” she paused. “And that’s something I can’t afford to give up.”

Granted, when she had uttered those words you’d found her in the same awful set of lockdown-sweats. A manic look in her eyes and her hair was frizzy from having a hand run through it so many times. She’d stayed up all night writing her draft of an essay that was worth nearly fifty percent of her grade. She’d barely eaten, surviving on instant black coffee and cereal bars.

In those types of moments, she reminded herself of those words. She repeated them when her motivation dipped beyond recognition and staring at her screen made her eyes dry up. She had a sticky note of the same words written in a hasty scrawl in her line of sight, just above where her laptop sat, so it was always on her mind. She’d apologise because she was not one to bite her tongue, but she’d tell you the same words. And sometimes it motivated you, seeing her excel, you wanted that for yourself too. But most of the time, the weight of working so hard crushed you straight into the ground.

It was worrying but she never really let herself stay down. And maybe, that’s where you came in.

When she’d tired herself out, you’d bought her dinner to make sure she had a proper meal before she slept for a whole day. You provided the snacks when you both holed yourselves in the library. You dragged her out by planning days such as this. You were her reprieve.

And by that time, you’d figured her out.

You saw her past the perfection she so delicately manufactured. Past the painted nails. Past the crisply ironed dress shirts. Past the curious gaze.

It wasn’t as if she completely removed her imperfections. If you knew where to look, you could find it. The fraying insides of her cuffs from picking at the threads. The flimsy collar barely holding its shape after being pulled at for so long. The flyaway strands that came undone when she played with her hair. They were always there, always humanizing her. You just needed to look at her long enough to know they existed.

When you saw the muscle in her cheek twitch, you were brought back to the sensation of the moving bus, rumbling beneath you. She knew you were watching, but decided against confronting you about it. The thought brought a smile of your own as you picked up your phone to check when you needed to stop the bus.

That was your duty. Your role in this relationship. One you took with pride.

Tzuyu was comfortable enough to let herself take a step back and allow you to drag her wherever you’d planned, no questions asked. The entire day was scheduled on your phone, even allowing for late buses and trains. You’ve travelled enough on public transportation to account for this sort of thing.

So that's how the trip to the central business district went. From bus to subway, from station to station, and one line to another—Tzuyu stuck by you.

Her earphones, still connecting you. Your hand, always holding hers.

You knew this city like the back of your hand. That happens when you spend nearly four years travelling back and forth, finding part-time jobs, going out, and attending events.

Yet you were still noticing new things from time to time.

As soon as your train stopped in the main district, you headed straight for the restaurants to load up on snacks. You still had time to kill before you needed to go where you needed to be. So you let Tzuyu drag you around, gawking at books she wants to read, playing around with fabrics of sweatshirts she already owned, but most importantly, you bought her almost everything she asked for when it came to food.

Though she did threaten to leave when you first proclaimed loudly at the counter. “Don’t worry, anything for my pretty princess.”

That was how you ended up holding two special collectable bubble tea cups, a take-away bag filled with free samples, and an inviting half-eaten honey cake which the pair of you left for later since it was too sweet.

From time to time, you pestered Tzuyu to take photos of you. Although she whined about it, once the camera was up, she was striking a pose. Her, always so prim and proper, and you, always with your arm above her or around her or holding her. Always gazing at her.

“Tell me you didn’t,” though you weren’t facing her, you could imagine her gawking.

“Well, I kinda did,” you shrugged, before throwing the clerk a smile as he went in to grab your shoes.

“How much was this—”

“I told you, money is not a problem! Anything for my sweet little schnookums—oi! That actually really hurt!” you leaned on the counter, a groan escaping you as you held the bicep that was harassed. “Unbelievable, unbelievable!”

Tzuyu just stuck her tongue out before grabbing her own shoes and heading in.

“Real mature,” you grumbled with a smile as you grabbed your pair of shoes and followed after her.

You’d dumped all your belongings except your phone into a locker and took a seat by Tzuyu to put on the ice skating shoes. For some reason, the fit was never perfect. Sometimes it felt like it was biting into your toes, or placing pressure on your ankle, but then it felt too loose when you tried to stand. While you were doing and undoing the laces, you missed the way Tzuyu just watched you with a smile.

With a groan, you tried again, hoping to get it down this time. “Honestly,” you looked up for a second at the rink. “I didn’t expect it to be this packed.”

“Oh, you’re telling me you didn’t expect one of the biggest ice rinks… in the city… to be busy… on Christmas Eve?” Tzuyu asked, her voice dripping with more derision with every statement.

“Okay but is it really Christmas Eve if it is, like, eleven in the morning?” you asked with a sigh as you finally finished tying your shoes.

“The whole day is the Eve,” she sent you a look as she stood, not wobbling at all on her blades. “And it’s almost two.”

“Is it?!” you asked, pulling out your phone. She was right!

Not according to schedule, but you expected as much. You could work with this.

“That’s fine,” you said and pocketed your phone before trying to get up. Tzuyu’s hand was already in your vision, and without hesitation, you took it. “Thanks.”

When you were stable, she let go.

“Okay, you can do it,” and with that, she took two steps and was on the rink already merging with the moving crowd that circled the border.

“Chou Tzuyu, are you serious?” you screamed, even getting some looks, but you weren’t bothered.

Even with the crowd, and the blaring Christmas tunes, you could hear her laugh once you spotted her. Tzuyu had her head thrown back, eyes crinkled close, and her right hand gripping the railing so she didn't double over and eat ice shavings. If she wasn’t having so much fun, you’d have been mad at her for laughing at your expense.

Tzuyu moved along but slowed down a bit so that you could catch up. It’s not as if you’ve never skated before, you have. After all, you were the one to book this outing. You just hoped you would be a little bit more graceful. Of course, after a few rounds, the lack of practice and confidence will disappear, but for the moment, you longingly stared at the children gleefully making circles in the middle of the rink with their penguins.

“Oh, come on, let go of the railing,” Tzuyu taunted, skating smoothly by your side, while you were hunched over the railing, basically walking on ice. “Come on!”

“Yeah, I don’t have a death wish,” a child giggled as she passed around you with a penguin aid. You’re sticking next to the railing too, kid!

“Why did you book this if you’re not even going to skate properly?” Tzuyu had the gall to pout.

“Because it’s in theme! Winter, holidays, snow, Christmas—!” you let out an ugly squeal as the blades slipped from underneath you. For a moment, you flailed. You imagined you looked like those cartoon characters just as they teetered off a cliff, hands winding around like a propeller to stop themselves from plummeting. Thankfully, the railing was your shining knight in armour and your wayward legs had stopped fighting you.

Tzuyu had stopped skating. But once you looked back at her, both elbows over the railing while huffing and puffing, she just broke out laughing. Maybe you’d admire how free she looked when she laughed like that if you weren’t glaring at her. While she did that, you pulled yourself into a standing position.

“I’m fine,” you huffed out as you were standing and facing the rink again. “Thanks for worrying, by the way.”

Still chuckling, Tzuyu came closer to the railing. And then she did something insane.

Pushing herself with one foot, she spun around and came to a stop in front of you.

When did she have the time to learn all of that?

“No need to show off.” Tzuyu rolled her eyes as she extended her arms.

“And no need to be killjoy,” she retaliated before jutting her chin at her hands. “Come on, take it.”

You made quite the show of how much you did not want this, though it was hard to suppress your smile. She shared the expression when you took her help. With a nod, she pushed off and moved backwards, pulling you with her.

When she tugged you close, you let out another yelp, and she had to press her lips thin to not burst out laughing again. She moved slowly, helping you find your footing on the ice while you navigated her away from bumping into people. Maybe if you weren’t so busy with maintaining your balance, you may have taken your chance to press a kiss on her nose, only to watch her scrunch her eyes shut and blush to her ears.

Once you’d done a round like that, Tzuyu decided to be brave and pushed herself back to your side. Although she was still holding one of your hands, leaning down, she picked up pace and so you followed her. Before you knew it, you were skating again. Like you used to, the few times you visit. Right by her side, competitions and bets came up, but at the end of the rounds, you were just finding ways to hold Tzuyu’s hand again.

When you realized that the rink’s Christmas playlist had looped, you decided it was time for a break. For you, at least. Stopping at a corner near the entrance to the rink, you leaned on the railing as you watched Tzuyu make easy rounds around the rink, even daring to skate between people. Like any other person, you picked out your phone and started filming her fly across the rink.

There was one particular move where she skated backwards and manoeuvred into a slow spin that made her laugh when she executed it perfectly. However, she’d almost run over a child who barely reached her knee in the process. Instantly, she was on her knees on the ice, even though the kid kept shaking her head to convey that she was fine. That was how you had another video of Tzuyu, skating hand in hand with a little girl as she taught her how to do a little circle.

You were on the seats with your shoes already in your hands when Tzuyu plopped herself down next to you.

“Happy?” you asked, tilting your head to watch her.

The grand clock chimed to mark the start of a new hour.

She nodded, eyes scrunched close again as she grinned. “Very.”

By the time you’d collected your things and finished up the rest of your leftover snacks, it was already time for dinner. You made your reservation just in time. When you entered the restaurant, the first thing the maitre d’ did was judge you. Well, you couldn’t be sure of what was going through his head, though you're sure he wasn’t supposed to stare at you for so long.

Granted, you and Tzuyu had sprinted the last few steps because it started snowing hard, and were huffing and puffing like some steam engine.

“Welcome,” his voice pitched high before he corrected himself and tried again. Instead of bursting out laughing, you and Tzuyu just shared an amused look before following him.

He guided you through the main lounge of the restaurant and to the private rooms you’d booked. Most places had flashing lights, a horrifying mixture of green and red covering every surface to get in the spirit. However, you loved how this restaurant had decorated the places. The whole place was dimmed, so only the fairy lights by the curling and candles on the tables twinkled. Each table had its own bouquet with flowers you couldn’t name, some adorned with miniature ornaments and some with paper-crafted reindeers and bells. Dinner plates, champagne glasses, and table mats had little accents of red and green, nothing too daring.

You supposed such simple elegance was expected of a high-end restaurant, but that also meant their clientele was of a different calibre too. Most of those at the tables were couples in expensive clothes and greying hair. Some seemed younger, but even they held an air of authority that you doubted you held as you trudged your way through the place.

Not that it mattered though. The waiter introduced the pair of you to your room and informed you how you could ring for help before closing the door behind him. With just you and Tzuyu in the room, you made yourselves comfortable.

Tzuyu pulled up the menu while you shrugged off your coat and hung it over your chair. “Are you sure we’re in the right place?” she asked before turning the menu and showing off the price of the dishes.

“Well, seeing as my name was on their list and they haven’t kicked us out. I think, yes,” you replied and picked up a menu for yourself. “Order anything. Whatever you want.”

You said a bit more genuinely than the last few times you did.

“Are you sure?” Tzuyu asked, still scrutinizing the prices.

“Of course,” you nodded, scanning for a dish that was worth the price. “My treat, remember.”

Tzuyu’s (and your own, really) inhibitions about the price had disappeared once you had your first bite. The food was absolutely divine. The pair of you had ordered two different dishes and then swapped halfway through, and then ordered one more dish and a dessert to end it with.

Tzuyu was scraping the bottom of her bowl when you asked her. “What do you think about marriage?”

The scraping stopped.

You’d have laughed at the little smudge of chocolate by her lip if her eyes weren’t so wide.

“Like, you mean, us?” she asked slowly.

A small chuckle escaped you as you moved the ice cream around in your own bowl. “No, like, in general.”

“Is this about Sana?”

That was the name of the second person in Tzuyu’s ginormous friend group who had gotten married over the summer. You never really knew the woman personally, or any of her friends really, but you’d heard enough about them and visited two weddings to know what they were like. And especially how much they mattered to Tzuyu.

“Sure, I guess,” you shrugged and Tzuyu returned to her dessert, although much slower this time around. “I don’t know, it just feels so daunting, you know?”

Tzuyu waited in silence.

With a sigh, you continued. “They’re so young and they got married,” you admitted.

It wasn’t just Tzuyu’s friends. You’ve heard stories within your own lectures, of people discussing marriage plans and getting engaged and dream weddings. And if not that, they were settling down, in relationships that seemed to promise security more than momentary pleasure. You’re not one to give that sort of thing too much thought, but you’d be a liar if you said you’ve never thought about it.

Tzuyu studied her bowl, apparently, there was still quite a bit of dessert left. “They know what they want…”

That was a simple enough answer.

Did you know what you want?

Your hand stopped spinning your spoon around as you studied Tzuyu.

Bells. That’s what you heard when you looked at her. Not like the deafening sirens you set as your morning alarm or the jingles you’ve been hearing all day. A soft melody filled with dulcet notes, building as your heart rate increased. It must be a sound you’ve heard before if your mind can come up with it… right? But you just couldn’t place the sound, it didn’t sound like any song you’d heard and if it was, you wouldn't recognize it.

You heard it every time you glanced at her, it arose in the strangest of moments. The pair of you had just pulled an all-nighter, the sky was losing darkness and turning into a dreamy blue, and when you turned to Tzuyu, you found her face pressed onto her textbook. She was out cold, the right side of her face completely smashed and her mouth hanging open as she slept. You had to clasp a hand over your mouth from laughing at yourself and waking her up.

And then you heard it when she first made instant noodles her way for you and added a concerning amount of cheeses. Then, it was when she suggested visiting a new cafe in the city and you’d agreed without question. Or when she’d bought you a random trinket from a street vendor solely because it had reminded her of you. So many trivial moments, filled with a soundtrack of your own making for your very own love story.

Because it was one. There were no two ways about it.

People often say falling in love is magical, perhaps that holds some truth to it. The fluttering in your stomach that you couldn’t differentiate from nervousness, the beating of your heart hammering away as if it were to burst, the shiver that runs up your neck, that same sense of suffocation you feel when you’re out of breath. How gooseflesh rises on your skin, but you feel so warm inside. And when you look at her, it's a sensation of relief that you feel. The tinge of positivity when she looks back at you, a twinkle in her eyes to let you know you weren’t the only one feeling this way.

You wanted to ask her and you have asked her.

Were you supposed to do something right now? In the moment? What would happen if we didn’t address it? How could we plan anything? How many times could we tell each other that it’s not fear? That we’re not scared? You’re not scared? But you are, you really are. It was overwhelming.

Are we falling behind?

She’d always denied it.

And she was right, of course.

But it didn’t always feel like it.

There were only a handful of people you considered true friends from your university. Not because they’d done anything to you or whatever, some people just click and stick with you forever and some don’t. It was simple. It was normal. And the former was true of Tzuyu.

It was so true, sometimes it brought tears to your eyes when you thought about it in the middle of the night. It really is so overwhelming just how much you felt for her. Perhaps this was love, or it was something else, you’ve never felt at this intensity before. You really couldn’t name it. And that might sound strange but it was true, nothing could really encompass what you felt, or heard even, when you looked at her.

“What are you looking at?” Tzuyu’s voice broke you from your reverie.

Your mouth made the shape to enunciate the word.

“And don’t say, you,” Tzuyu groaned as she pushed her bowl away, she’d finished her treat.

She knew your tricks all too well. You’ll need to change it up.

“Don’t freak, but there’s a bug on your—”

“What?” Tzuyu freaked out. “Where? Where is it? Tell me!”

Freezing up, all she could do was glare when you just chuckled. “I was wondering if I should just slap you to hit it,” Tzuyu’s eyes widened and you couldn’t help your laughter. “Or just leave you at its mercy and run, I didn’t want its attention on me–”

“Just get it off!”

“–but you know, sudden movements and things. I can’t die, I have too much to live for—” she shrieked your name, pleading as her hands gripped the table. “Okay, okay, come here.”

Gesturing for her to move forward, you leaned over the table to wipe away the smudge of ice cream by the corner of her lips. The smudge was long gone, so she should have guessed so was the 'bug' but you just held her chin. You, watching her. And her, watching you.

Having lingered long enough, you pulled your hand back with a smile.

“Thanks,” she mumbled after clearing her throat.

You just nodded before showing her your bowl of melted ice cream. “Do you want to finish this off too?”

“Yes, please,” she said, “but I also have something for you.”

You tilted your head in confusion, every single plate on her side of the table had been wiped clean. What did she have to give you?

You were just about to voice those words when she pulled out a small package from underneath the table. A gasp had barely left your lips when she spoke.

“It’s not a ring.”

“I’m heartbroken.”

“I’m sure you are,” Tzuyu placed the package next to your bowl and took the ice cream. “Open it.”

Following orders, you opened the package and you started second-guessing her claim of this not being a marriage proposal. Of course, you knew it wouldn’t be, you’d talked about as much. But you guessed somewhere you’d like to hear such news.

You sent her a glance when you felt the velvet inning of the box, though she just shook her head.

What was in there, when you opened the box, was a necklace.

A loud snort escaped you that you had to clasp a hand over your mouth.

When you looked up, Tzuyu was shovelling ice cream into her mouth but still grinning. She was doing anything to avoid looking at you.

The necklace barely matched its packaging. The first thing that caught your attention was an amulet, it was discolored and its design eroded, by wear that you could barely make out what it used to be. But you knew. And you remembered.

Four years ago, during some university-wide event, the amulet had caught your attention on some stall. But at the same time you’d reached for it, so had Tzuyu. The bells. That’s where you could track them back to. Some busking artist that had been performing at the time, providing a melody that you’d come to associate with Tzuyu herself and the love you have for her.

Tzuyu had been very adamant about having the amulet, and you, well you couldn’t care less. So you’d said the opposite and asked her to buy you the very expensive, very sugary, glazed doughnuts from the foodtruck down the line. And she’s just said yes.

And then you talked. You exchanged your numbers. And the rest well, was history.

Tzuyu never came around to wearing the amulet, and one night she admitted that she only bought it for its aesthetics, but could never find a moment to properly wear it. And if she did, she found herself wrapping it around her wrist so she could play with it when class was boring. The same night you admitted you just used the necklace to get yourself free doughnuts. From then on, she made it very obvious to wear it whenever you were around.

And now, it has returned to you. Having lost all of its aesthetic appeal.

“Oh this, this is priceless,” you said, giggling and tugging it from the box, already putting it on. “Thank you.”

“I thought you’d like it,” she said, finishing the last of your ice cream. “Now, where’s my present?”

You know she was asking to be cheeky, but you still entertained her. “Oh, like the whole day I planned and spent with my hard-earned money wasn’t a present?”

The train ride back was longer than you’d expected, but it gave Tzuyu some time to nap. Once again, you were connected by your hands and her earphones, as she lay her head on your shoulder.

Seeing as how late it was, buses would take longer to make their last rounds. Which is why you left Tzuyu at the bus stop, so you could quickly rush to the general store behind it and get some more snacks. Hot chocolate seemed like the right choice at a time like this, the perfect ending to the day. The scene would be magical, being seated together at a bus stop, illuminated by a warm lamppost, surrounded by flecks of snow as you sipped on hot chocolate. But also, you were craving more ice cream. Dealing with a cold will be your future you’s problem.

So you grabbed two cones and a hand warmer and swiped your card.

The streets seemed empty, even though it wasn’t even that late. Well… by a student’s standard, it wasn’t that late, seeing as it was nearing eleven in the evening, perhaps it was late.

“I got our snacks,” you said, holding up a cone in each hand. Tzuyu just chuckled as she took one from your hand. She struggled for a moment to peel off the wrapping with her gloved hands, but when she did, she bit a large chunk of the ice cream, and you just gawked in awe.

The bus had arrived by the time you finished the cones. Just as your stop arrived, Tzuyu’s music stopped. Someone was calling her.

“What time is it?” she asked, pulling out her phone, you missed the caller’s name.

“Like, almost midnight,” you said, getting up and guiding her out as she answered the call.

“They’re an hour early—”

“Tzuyu-ah!” Sana’s voice shrieked into your earphones, you had to pull it out. You thanked the bus driver and wished him a good night, ignoring the way he squinted at you.

“Do you still want to go—” Tzuyu just threw a thumbs up as she matched Sana’s voice in greeting.

Letting her catch up with her friend, you guided her to the park you often visited, usually near midnight like tonight, and always at the children’s playground to the small swing set.

When you helped Tzuyu into her seat, so engrossed in the call, she started taking the seat as soon as the swing hit the back of her legs, she'd have landed flat on her back had you not helped her into the seat.

“It’s nice to see you again,” you looked up to see Sana’s son wave at you.

“Oh, oh, hey, kid,” Tzuyu sent you a look over her shoulder as you made sure she was not going to slip off the seat. “It’s good to see you again! How’re you doing, kid?”

“I’m good, how are you?” he asked, and you parrotted the same answer, a little breathy from slouching over.

“Sit down, will you?” Tzuyu pretended to groan, pushing your face away from her shoulder.

The seat was made for children, so it was very very low to the ground and tiny. You had to balance yourself on your things to not flip over the seat, a moment's distraction and you could be swinging from your knees. Holding on to the chains, you pushed yourself close to Tzuyu so your face was on camera again.

“No, seriously, how are you?” you asked again to get past the surface-level answers. “What have you been up to?”

With a wide grin, he started speaking about a recipe he had just mastered and while he did more of Tzuyu’s friends joined. Most of which you were familiar with now, having met them at two weddings and conversed with some over calls. Though you were most glad to see Sana’s son again. You’d only met him face to face once. It was at Sana's wedding during the summer. Both you and Tzuyu had been taken with him when you first met him last Christmas. Tzuyu had taken you back home with her last year, and you finally got to meet her beloved dogs, and so had Sana’s son. He’d remembered to even ask about Tzuyu’s dogs during the wedding, you spent the better part of the event showing him the videos you had.

Ever since you’d gotten him a gift, he’d grown quite fond of you both. Now usually, it was tradition to get gifts mostly for those to be wed, but you and Tzuyu had instead decided to gift their son. You’d heard how much he loved the Percy Jackson books much like you had, so you decided to buy him the Kane Chronicles. thankfully he hadn’t read or gotten them yet. Besides, seeing as both you and Tzuyu were neck deep in student debt and as broke as they come, you weren’t really in a place to buy the newlyweds a washing machine.

Tzuyu waved to others, while you kept him talking. “Have you read the Kane Chronicles yet?”

The boy had an affinity to reread the same book over and over again, even if he wasn’t completed with a series. At the wedding, he’d been attached at the hip to the Son of Neptune, which was understandable. But also, the next two books are easily the best of the series.

“I did start them!” he said, eagerly leaning away from the camera before bringing the second book in with him. “I really like it,” he said, flipping through some pages and turning the book to show it. You didn’t have the heart to tell him it was too blurry to see anything but a blank white page. “But it’s not as fun as you said it would be, I still like Percy Jackson better than this series.”

Oh.

Now, you’re at a stage in your life where you didn’t go around picking fights with children, though you will say it was a difficult urge to ignore. But something about appreciating children having different opinions from you or whatever.

“Um, yeah, no, I—”

“Please, don’t pick a fight with a child,” Tzuyu said with a groan and the call erupted with a cacophony of laughter. You’d missed when everyone had joined. You had been hogging the call.

“I wasn’t going to! The kid had the right to his own opinions,” you said, looking scandalized but then mumbled under your breath. “Even if it’s wrong.”

Tzuyu shoved you with a smile and you let the swing take its original spot. With a smile of your own, you let Tzuyu catch up with her friends, only waving and greeting people when she turned the phone to face you. After some wishes of Merry Christmas and farewells, the phone call had been cut. With every passing year, it was harder to meet, even during holidays when everyone was supposed to be free. In-person meetings seemed like a faraway dream, and planning a call seemed just as hectic, but somehow Tzuyu’s friends found a way. But you know Tzuyu ached to meet her friends again, some time where it wasn't a life-changing event that brought them together or where disaster didn’t strike. Just to be with them for a moment.

You hadn’t even realized you were pushing yourself towards her, let alone kissing her on the cheek. Only when your swing recoiled back to her place and Tzuyu let out a small noise in question, did you realize what you’d done.

“What was that for?” Tzuyu asked, her hand caressing the place where you’d kissed her.

“I don’t know actually,” you said wistfully. “Just because.”

Tzuyu hummed in acknowledgement as blush coloured her cheeks. You thought maybe she’d chastise you, even as a joke. But then, she did something shocking.

Her hand pulled on your swing chain and pulled you close.

It wasn’t the smoothest kiss. Your noses bumped into each other and the angle was wrong, but none of it really mattered because soon both your hands went to hold her as close as possible. She giggled into the kiss, no doubt, shyness creeping in as she comprehended what she’d just done.

If it were up to you, maybe you would’ve stayed there until sunrise.

Unfortunately, your leg, which was strained to hold you in place, slipped just as Tzuyu gently pushed you away. While you swung sideways, Tzuyu hid her face in her hands.

A giggle from her earned from you. And before you knew it, the pair of you were laughing, hunched over and swinging lightly.

Many things are changing, but your days will be all the same. Especially with Tzuyu by your side. And she wasn’t leaving your side any time soon.

any feedback is much appreciated.

a/n: people really need to read kane chronicles, its literally perfect but yeah, hope you enjoyed this ! again happy new year !!

tagging: @someone-who-likes-broccoli

#mala's collection #sanccharine #tzuyu x reader #twice x reader #tzuyu imagines #twice imagines #tzuyu fluff #christmas au #the way everyday goes

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bronx-bomber87 · 4 months

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Happy Wednesday Fandom. We’ve reached THE episode. Sorry little later than usual. Life didn't understand I had a review to do ha I remember not knowing what this ep would quite be. When it was done I had to pick my jaw off the floor. I was in utter shock and felt like a fever dream I was watching. Like did that really just happen? Was that real life? It’s was so exciting to have the payoff.

Even if it felt like it wasn’t real LOL Did my damn best to get everything in. I feel like I’ve become really good at this gif puzzle but eps like this really pushes me to the limit ha. God bless the gif website I found or I would be screwed haha Let’s get this started :)

5x08 The Collar

Aaron wants to shadow Angela and Harper today. He is looking into being a detective someday. So Grey re-assigns him to them and Lucy to Tim. Telling her she’s back on gopher duty. They could not be MORE suspicious or obvious if they tried my god. You know Grey knows his question about riding together is making them more uncomfortable. It's hilarious really. Trying to get them to out themselves. Instead they’re just little awko tacos staring at each other bumbling around.

He knows they’re lying with their 'No's' But he also doesn’t care. LOL They’re riding together whether they like it or not. It's amazing with their lives on the line with UC their ability to lie is amazing. Flawless really. Having to deal with their still weirdness and not show it? Abysmal. Such bad liars in this scene holy hell. The amount of awkward in this 30 seconds floors me.

From the minute Grey suggests they ride together they’re awkward dorks. Ones who don’t know complete sentences or words. This scene says so much with saying so little at the same time . There’s a reason they’ve stayed away from each other. This moment right here. They’re so very aware if they are back in a shop together everything they’ve been avoiding will come rushing back. Such a strong start to the ep for them though. Enjoyed their discomfort so much ha

We start out with them in the shop being awkward af. I loved the shots in this one and their opening one is great. With the cams coming to life and their day starting. Lucy of course is the first the break the silence. Asking him how single life is? He tells her really nice. How he didn’t have to deal with anyone complaining about him watching football all day.

Lucy giving him crap of course about never leaving the house. Things maybe weird between them but their comfortable banter hasn’t suffered. They fall right back into it with this scene. That married energy they have coming right back into play here. Gah they just balance each other out so well it’s insane. Haven’t had a couple this in-sync since Caskett on Castle.

I love him being a hermit though. He earned it after Ashley. He did whatever she damn well pleased for months. You stay home and watch your football babe. You earned it after that disaster of a relationship. Tim does defend himself a little saying he took Kojo out LOL I consider that going out too when I’m needing a hermit day. I'm with you on this Tim.

I love the affectionate way Lucy says he’s hopeless. That’s the beautiful thing about Lucy for Tim. Yeah she gives him crap but she fully loves that man for who he is. She would spend a day being a hermit with him just because it made him happy. D just wrote an amazing fic on that concept actually. (You should read it so so good) Lucy loving and accepting him for who he is and not condemning him for it. Yeah she’s teasing him for being ‘hopeless’ when really she is so fond of who he is as a person. Loves that man inside and out. You can see the adoration on her face when she delivers that line.

Just love the idea of them having lazy Sundays together now. Lucy indulging his hermit ways when he needs it. No doubt Tim indulges when she wants to be out. Because their partnership is a balanced one. Gah I love them. Chris FaceTimes her and Tim looks over and makes a face LOL god damn I love this man. Chris asks her if she’s busy? She says no…but seems not at ease with this phone call. Lucy asks where he is? He tells her an open house…They could not be more opposites in this moment. They spoke earlier about moving in and Chris jumped the gun to houses. Sprinting toward a future she doesn't want.

Lucy wasn't even on board for moving in...She is looking so very panicked. He’s going on about how it needs work but is 3 bedrooms. Tim’s interest now has been piqued and it’s stressing Lucy out for a couple reasons. She is no where near ready for this step and he’s gunning to a house. Second Tim can overhear this adding another level of stress. She doesn’t want Tim to think they are there. Because well they aren’t….Lucy cuts the phone call off abruptly. Asks if they can talk later? Chris being the clueless oaf he is doesn’t pick up on her stress at all. He says 'love you' and she says nothing in reply just ends the damn call LOL

Tim asks if they’re moving together? Lucy looks even more distressed after the phone call. Her body language screaming she’s being dragged into this situation. Kicking and screaming really. Lucy tells him no…Tim follows up with ‘He seems to think you are…’ Lucy is having a panic attack right now when he says that. The way she puts her hand on her chest. Trying to relieve the building pressure of this whole thing. Now there’s a girl ready to move in with her BF…. She seems so rattled the entire conversation with Tim.

Lucy continues on that he kind of sprang it on her this morning. He can read her discomfort like a book. So he continues his line of questioning. Which is unreal because you know the shop is a personal life free zone right Timothy? The fact that he’s the one pursuing this conversation. Being the one to ask the questions. My god how far we’ve come it’s crazy. He can tell how unsettled she is. The way he’s analyzing her and looking at her tells him everything he needs to know.

Yet he asks her ‘You guys are happy right?’ Lucy does a very unenthusiastic ‘Yeah we’re happy…’ Tim presses on like a devils advocate that is making her panic worse. Saying if that's true this is 'The next obvious steps for them then.' Lucy continuing her fake streak saying they’re “super happy.” Ok love sure you are…As she says this she is rubbing the crap out of her tattoo. Just being a lying liar who lies right now. They get a call before the convo continues on.

Everyone gets involved in a stop Nolan and Celina have. She has a bomb collar around her neck and she becomes the focal point for everything. The tension and writing leading up to them getting her to that parking lot in immense. Even though I've seen this episode many many times that portion always gets me. It’s so sad how afraid she is and her re-evaluating her life cause of it. How empty it feels now.

Pam and John talking was heartbreaking. How all she wanted was for her mom to know she loved her ugh. Sadly she ends up dying and that’s where this scene begins for them. I truly think this SL was a motivator for Tim. One of the reasons for where we head in this one. Because it’s so easy to get bogged down with life. To fall into the going through the motions. To have regrets with having a comfort zone. Tim taking a shot based off that.

Lucy expressing how she is feeling. It was upsetting to watch as a viewer. I can’t imagine being there watching that unfold. Tim being her sounding board. Knowing how upset she is right now. Giving her feedback on what he thought was the killers motive. Talking this out because he know it'll ease her mind. Then stupid Chris calls. Blind as a bat couldn’t read Lucy if his life depended on it.

He’s not calling to see if she’s ok or how she’s doing. No he’s calling about a f*cking house. She could not be more distraught right now. What does this tool bag do? Bring up listings. I love how Tim’s eyes pan over to her. Checking in on her emotional state. Seeing she is so distraught. It’s very obvious she is upset and this is the last thing she wants to be talking about. This moment is opening her eyes to who Chris is as a person. She isn’t liking what she sees.

Her ‘wow’ sounds like she is trying to stop herself from going off on him. So ignorant and oblivious to her and what she needs right now. Lucy already wasn’t on board with this which he didn’t see. Now she’s rattled from their current case and this mofo is sending her house stuff. Lucy can’t even process this right now. Tim being her absolute hero and hearing her silent screaming bails her out. “Yelling” at her to get off the phone. Hate his line ‘He’s in a mood.’

No you’re a clueless insensitive idiot. Who he is currently saving her from. He presses about that damn listing one more time before she hangs up. Haven’t wanted to sucker punch him this badly since 4x17. Lucy can finally breathe when they hang up. She looks to her rock and says ‘Thanks.’ A very loaded and grateful one. Tim giving her the sweetest look. Fierce protector reporting for duty. Putting her first in this moment and saving her from that convo going further.

I LOVE how Tim is constantly watching and checking in on her in this episode. He handles this whole thing so well. He’s not a dick telling her to dump Chris. He’s so so god damn attuned to her emotionally. It shows so very much in this episode. Lucy loves to talk things out and yet she keeps avoiding it in this episode. Avoiding truly getting to the root of why she’s feeling the way she is.

Which is fascinating considering that’s her jam. Analyzing and breaking something down. Digging deep to see why something is the way it is. Yet on this one she is avoiding it and Tim gets her to face it. He even gives her an out if she needs it. Telling her if she doesn’t want to move in with Chris she doesn’t have to. Tim just got out of a ‘moving through the motions.’ relationship. His POV on this is excellent.

He doesn’t want to see her settle or be forced into anything she doesn’t want. Just because Chris is ready and wants it. Lucy finally starts to talk about it. Saying why doesn’t she want to move in with him? Telling Tim they never fight. Thats a huge red flag if you ask me Lucy. That’s not healthy at all. Tim telling her maybe that’s the problem here….

It’s this next line above that really gets Lucy’s thoughts in motion. Tim just did a mind f*ck when he asked her this. You can see the realization washing over her in that second gif. Because he’s not wrong. You fight because it is worth fighting for. Chris has always been this blah middle of the road nothing for her. Was a BF? Yes. Was he decent? That’s debatable…

Chris was just there as a safety net for loneliness. Now that he’s becoming more than that it’s becoming a serious issue. One she can't ignore anymore. All their glaring problems coming to light in this moment in her mind. Tim is talking her through this (which I can't get over.) With the most perfect mixture of empathy and logic. She’s slowly realizing he is NOT worth the bother.

Tim is not only pointing this out but with massive heart eyes. Telling her she deserves someone who’s worth the effort. Pre-laying all his cards on the table in this moment. She can’t break the eye contact with him after he says this. Knowing what he means by this statement. This entire episode is him being Tim ‘I’m worth the effort’ Bradford for her. The more she looks at Chris the less she likes it.

The more she looks at Tim the more she knows he’s the one. And that scares her to death. God I love him stepping up and guiding her like this. Not only that but talking her though this whole thing. Something that he avoided like the plague in 3x09. Shaking closure and talking off and saying it was useless. Here he is talking her through this crisis she is having. He’s crushing it too btw. Such an iconic line for them for so many reasons. This makes me squee still rewatching it.

Before their convo goes any further they spot a second person with a collar. This guy is way more aggressive about saving his life. Pulls off and finds some sheers. Saying he’s not waiting around to die. Tim immediately grabs Lucy and heads for cover. It’s the way he holds her and shields her at the same time.

That’s his whole world right there. He would take the heat of a thousand bombs to protect her. Tim has a one track mind in this moment. He’s not thinking Lucy can handle herself. Or she is capable of getting to cover on her own. No he’s thinking that’s the woman he loves in front of a bomb.

It changes his entire perspective. So he full on grabs her and places his body between her and the bomb. Thats his first instinct to throw himself between her and harm. Gah it’s so good and just feels like more in this ep. Proving to Lucy over and over in this one she is worth the effort to him. Fierce protector front and center.

We catch them back in the shop trying to figure out next moves about this next bomb. Chris texts her another listing... In an area she CLEARLY doesn’t want to live in. Tim can’t stand to watch her suffer any longer. He is as straight forward with her in this moment as I’ve ever seen him. He knows she has been on edge all day. From the case alone.

Now she has Chris making matters worse with each interaction. She looks so upset when Tim asks her if she loves him? Noting that 'He clearly loves her.' His growth I talk about a lot and it’s episodes like this that truly show it. Look at this man pressing her to talk about this. He knows she’s in her head and talking it out always makes it better. Tim knows this about her and is pursuing it for that reason.

Lucy has been running from her feelings for Tim for quite some time. She low key knew about them in s4. Then 4x21 happened and they imploded on her. Hitting her like ton of bricks. This moment is her ‘Come to Jesus’ moment about Chris. Also about her feelings for Tim. Saying out loud she SHOULD love him. That he’s great in so many different ways and yet…

It’s hitting her in this very moment she can’t love Chris because she loves Tim. Because that man is and NEVER will be Tim Bradford. He will forever pale in comparison to the man sitting to her left. Tim is the most important person in her life. It’s just hitting her like a freight train what’s happening. I love how she trails off as she comes to this conclusion. The way she looks at him when she comes to this realization.

Doesn't take much for Tim to see what she almost said to him. Lucy says enough that Tim knows what she is saying in this moment. The way he looks at her after her almost confession. my heart. I think this scene is another catalyst to their ending scene. I remember watching this scene and saying ‘You’ for her and squeeing my head off. Because she just basically admitted to not only herself but to Tim. That Chris is not Tim. He never will be…They both know it at this point. He is not 'You' is where she was headed and they both are aware of this.

We’ve reached THE scene. The scene that changed all of our shipper lives. heh Lucy coming up saying she needs to talk to him. Her rubbing that tattoo of hers before she sits down. Tim making a crack about Chris wanting to live in some remote place. I don’t know anything about CA but I imagine that city he listed isn’t great ha

Lucy says ‘No…’ Tim goes right at it telling she just doesn’t want to admit it’s not working. He asks her why she is doing this? When she is clearly so VERY unhappy about this development. This entire episode she spent stressed and on edge about Chris. Asking her if it's the guilt about Rosalind?

Lucy tries to pull a Tim and deflect. Bringing up Ashley and staying in a relationship too long. Tim does not let that fly for one damn second. Continues his assertive comments with her. He gets so worked up when he cuts her off about it above. That this isn't about him. Telling her she’s just hiding in this relationship because she’s scared.

It’s here Lucy blows his damn mind with her reply. Airing her fears of losing the the most important person in her life. Now I think Tim knew there was an attraction on Lucy’s end no doubt. She invited him in for gods sake in 5x01. He knew there was an attraction. What he didn’t know was the level of importance he held her life. It’s written all over his face. He is shocked legit shocked she feels this way about him. Now anyone with eyes could see Tim is exactly what she said. The most important relationship in her life.

The thing is Tim is so very damaged in that way. I get that so very much. Where you don’t expect those around you to love or care as much as you love and care for them. The sucky life of an insanely loyal person who has been burned which I can relate to. My friend just other day told me how much he missed me while I was away in TN visiting my sister. Him and my other friend missed me. I made a joke like oh did you not think I would come back?

Would you miss me or something? He looked at me and was like yes. We love you don’t you know that? I would be devastated if you didn’t come back. We’ve been friends for almost 5 years. It still shocks me I have people who love me and would miss me. So I can deeply relate to Tim being shocked he holds that place of importance in Lucy’s life. He’s NEVER been put first. Not till Lucy Chen entered his orbit.

She panics when she sees his reaction not reading him like she usually does. Thinking she’s overshared. When really Tim is just smitten af with her reply. He is beside himself with shock that he is HER #1 person. He doesn’t feel worthy. Thats not what Lucy reads at first when she sees his reaction. She thinks she’s over shared or over stepped in some way. Tim stops that train of thought right away. Telling her 'No she’s right.' Lucy once again misreads him and thinks they should just back off this then. Better to keep them as is. ‘It’s not worth the risk...’

Then we see our boy do the biggest leap of faith I’m sure he’s ever done and combat her reply with our next iconic OTP line. ‘Unless it is.’ Looks how cute he is when he says this. His precious upside down smirk. Reminds me of his cute smirk from 4x22 after their peck. He looks so excited about this idea. Just look at this puppy of a man. Going for it and telling her I think we are worth this. Wanting to give them a shot. Basically saying we are worth risking what we currently have for what could be.

This next part is where his courage really shines through. I love how he takes this deep shaky breath in the first gif. So nervous to ask her this question. Tim Bradford is NERVOUS everyone. So nervous to ask the woman he loves to take a chance on him. To go out to dinner and give this a shot. He finally finds the courage to ask her. Lucy’s answer is immediate and adorable.

If she could go to dinner right then and there she would. Jumping out of her skin with excitement at his proposal of going out. Tim is so elated and his smile so damn wide when he says ‘Yeah?’ He can’t believe his luck. Looks like the smile of a man who just got everything he's ever wanted. Months of longing over in this moment of courage. He’s so happy she’s said yes. The man is beaming proudly displaying that Lucy smile he reserves for her and ONLY her. Lucy mirrors his elation with her 'Yeah' *heart clutch*

Lucy then back tracks and we watch our boy deflate instantly. He looks so very upset when she takes it back. Her excitement got the better of her and she retracts. I saw a hilariously accurate depiction of Tim in this scene. Said he had golden retriever energy in this moment. All excited and giddy for getting what he wants. Body wiggling with absolute joy. Then is told no and is all sad and deflated. Then he doesn’t perk back up until she says she needs to end things with Chris first.

The analogy cracked me up because it was accurate. He looks so very gutted when she says no after. Has that 'This was too good to be true I guess.' energy coming off him in waves. Lucy tries to rectify the situation with her reason why. Doesn't want to see that sad look on his face. The man looks devastated. He just went from an absolute high only to come crashing down seconds later. The way he nods like he understands but is really hurt about it. My poor puppy of a man.

I love how he lights backs up when she tells him to ask her again. Later. After she’s rid herself of the dead weight that is Chris. Making sure Tim knows she wants this just as much as he does. She just needs to end things first. Make it right. No one gets doing things honorably more than Tim Bradford. His cute smile after he tells Lucy 'Deal.' His hope returning. Their body language above in the last gif is everything. Their bodies are pointed towards each other. They couldn’t be happier right now. Leaning in toward one another finally giving into that magnetic pull of their's. Both grinning like idiots in love. Gah I can not. I am a puddle. I remember rewinding that scene to make sure I saw and heard everything correctly.

I was expecting their pining era to last longer tbh. I was delightfully surprised when Tim of all people took the leap. Helped Lucy take it with him. For him to be the one without doubts and to go for it was so important. Lucy for the most part has been the catalyst in their relationship. Tim has has his moments. More so in the last season or so. But Lucy has mainly been in the drivers seat. To watch this man overcome his fear of rejection and go for it with her. my damn heart. This man isn’t scared to ruin what they have because he KNOWS. This is it for him. She is it. I can’t get over how much he’s grown to get to this place.

To be the one to say hey we’re worth the risk. Would you like to go out with me? Showing her she’s worth the effort of leaving his comfort zone. This moment right here is why I’m so glad they did the slow burn. Why I was ultimately happy they didn’t hook up in 5x01. This was the right way to do it. I wouldn’t trade a moment of their journey to get to this point. Not one and that’s is a rarity I’ve only had with one other ship. Castle and Beckett and that is a high honor if you know that ship. This was another daunting one to tackle but so fun to write about. I was buzzing for days after this episode. Mostly just happy this is where our slow burn ended up. Wouldn’t change a damn thing.

~~~

Side notes-non Chenford

The whole bomb SL with Pam makes me cry every time. It’s so tragic. Will say John was great with her rarely give him props but he does so good with her. Celina having to do the death notice kills me this ep is very emotional.

Bailey messing with John with the clowns is pretty funny LOL but idk how Bailey could think a coyote was a dog lmao ‘how did you get him In the crate?’ 😂

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