#this was fucking hard to write OKAY

[punkstylerecovery]

I don’t like to be treated cruelly. Maybe to some people that sounds ridiculous but that’s actually something I only recently started to allow myself to accept. It doesn't matter if you're family, or a friend, or a friend of a friend, it doesn’t matter if it’s a joke. I've had that done to me for years and I'm trying to get away from people like that and learn to protect myself. I don’t like it. 

So I'm not going to pretend to love the shit out of relatives/family friends who are assholes to me anymore. No, I'm not going to minimize their actions just so that others can be comfortable. No, I'm not going to make this easy. Yes, I am going to require a higher amount of respect than before. (I was requiring next to none before, so definitely.) No, I'm not going to let people walk all over me anymore without saying anything. 

I’m learning to love myself for the first time in my life and just treating myself kindly by not allowing others to treat me like shit is taken as ‘argumentative’ or a sign of ‘unstability’ by people I’ve known my entire life who I thought loved me with all their hearts. And it sucks. 

It especially sucks to realize that some of the people who claimed to love me with all their hearts are the ones who trained me not to love myself. 

But I know I’m healing. Because I don’t like to be treated cruelly and I can recognize that I am being treated cruelly, now without immediately having a panic attack. And I also know it’s not okay for people to be treating me cruelly! And people should be speaking up for me if others are. 

#ig #if i'm being honest #abuse mention #tw abuse #abuse recovery #trauma recovery #trauma #punkstyle #this was fucking hard to write OKAY #okay #as always #ok to reblog #comments are cool too #ok tnx bye this is raw shit gonna go like #cry or some shit

[needle-noggins]

Where do your roots start

And where do your roots end?

Something about seeing only the worst of yourself in the mirror. Something violent and terrifying, but knowing you only grew that violence in response to violence against you. Knowing your power comes from a place of trauma, something you don’t remember but wish had never happened. But it did, and here you are. There’s something new in you that isn’t the you that you understand and you wish it wasn’t but it is. Violence begets violence and you are unable to control what grows from the seeds that were planted. So you have to live with it and try not to let that violence spread.

You’ve already failed once.

And you see it every time you look in the damn mirror.

—

For Body Horror Week’s final day, prompt: Roots by In This Moment

#I was going to write a longer Drabble but holy shit Judas’s fic got me Shrimped good and instead I will refer everyone to that #Sav art #trigunbodyhorrorweek #vash the stampede #trigun stampede #tristamp #I’m REALLY proud of this I worked SUPER HARD ON IT #the roots and the flowers were so fucking annoying #but my favorite part is vash’s neck I wanna smooch it and tell him everything’s okay yaknow #also like same recognize same mirrors are evil and I hate them #I also love to give Eriks a lil ponytail as a treat

[factorialsotherfandoms]

"Do you think Philza's okay?"

Fit rolls over to look at Pac, his roommate staring up at the ceiling. He reaches over, cautiously offering his hand. Pac, of course, takes it just as hesitantly.

"Cell's back, maybe after you, and you're worried about Phil?" Okay, so Fit is worried too, but his point is well made. Pac had only told him some of the situation, in whispered tones and terrified whimpers a few hours ago, and he was worrying about someone who was at least safe?

Pac turns his head, and looks Fit dead in the eye. "You're with me. I know you won't let anyone hurt me. But who's with him?"

"He's safe enough," Fit says. "Physically at least."

"He just didn't seem, ah," Pac struggles with his words for a moment. "Well?"

"It's not really my place to say," he replies. "But he's Philza. He'll be fine."

"Will he?" Pac asks, fretting already. "If the Federation is inside his head, making him see things..."

It's a worry Fit has too, one he really doesn't want to think about. He wants to pretend that his old friend is fine, that going and murdering blazes and magma cubes will have fixed everything. He needs to believe it, because the alternative... The alternative is there's nothing he can do.

"Do you really believe him?" Pac asks. "That there was a book there."

"Yes."

"Why?"

Fit sighs, and sits up. He turns on the lamp and stretches, looking around his room of missing texture flooring and ugly walls - the safest place he could think to bring Pac when he heard the news.

"It's not the first time," Fit says. "Phil... He swears it was a dream, that he was just sleeping. He wasn't. Tubbo and me? We checked every corner of his house. He wasn't there. Then he takes us to where he thought he was taken and he swears there's nothing weird about it? But it's full of parrots - they shouldn't have spawned there. Tubbo even found an avocado sapling."

"Philza has a lot of avocados," Pac agrees. "You think the Federation took him?"

"I'm not sure, it's not their usual behaviour," Fit frowns. "But I don't know who else it would be?"

"The codes?"

"Maybe." Fit cracks his head to the side. "But I know Phil. Whatever he saw? It terrified him. And anything that scares Philza Minecraft is nothing you ever want to see."

"Should we ask him if we can visit?" Pac has a calculating look on his face. "I can cry scared all over again, I just need to remember why. And his bunker is very safe. They might look for me in your house, but they'd never think of his."

"Why? Is my company not good enough for you?" Fit is mostly teasing.

Mostly.

"No! No, no, no," Pac waves his hands in a desperate attempt to be understood. "I just... I'm worried, you know?"

"Yeah..." Fit sighs. "Yeah, I'm worried too... I'll ask him."

Pac nods, and Fit types.

You whisper to Ph1LzA: Can I bring Pac over? We might need to stay the night.

Ph1LzA whispers to you: sure mate

Ph1LzA whispers to you: is everything okay?

You whisper to Ph1LzA: We'll explain when we get there

That's the end of that; Fit shows his communicator to Pac, who agrees.

"I'm not really faking the tears," Pac promises, already tearing up. "I just don't think about it, and then it isn't real."

Pac's not the only one acting like that, Fit presumes; Philza's constant denials even with evidence in front of him... Whatever the fuck happened in that forest, it's nothing good. Something so terrible believing his memory is at fault is somehow better.

"To Phil and Missa," Fit reminds Pac, not really needing it.

They warp together, and at the same time.

---

Philza is waiting at the top of the hatch when the pair arrive. To most people he would look entirely normal, but Fit can see the way his eyes flitter as he waves. Pac waves back, while Fit gives his traditional "oi!!!"

Philza laughs, and leads them down into the basement.

"What's up?" he asks the two of them. "Need more toast or something? I thought you were both asleep."

"No, um," Fit looks to Pac, realising they didn't quite work out what to say.

"Bagi told me more about the murders," is what Pac says, his voice dropping very quiet as he does. "She thinks... We think someone from my past is on the island."

"Shit," Philza closes his eyes for a moment. "How bad is it?"

"Last time I saw him," Pac's pace picks up; Fit squeezes his shoulder as he sees panic come in. "Last time... He nearly killed me. And the messages..." Pac grabs the hand on his shoulder and squeezes it back. "Some of them might be addressed to me."

Philza doesn't ask questions, he just glances around his children's bedroom, then looks at Fit. Fit meets his eyes.

Philza sighs, and caves.

"Alright," he says. "Do you want to sleep in Chayanne's room? I can adjust the door to just the three of us, Missa, and my eggs for now."

Fit knows it isn't for Pac's sake that Philza is changing the doors, he knows it for sure.

They get their beds set up, tucked behind the chests where a casual observer cannot see. Philza doesn't have a bed, but Fit makes them for him and Pac, placing them tucked away.

"Would you stay with us?" Fit asks, before his old friend can slip away.

Philza looks genuinely surprised by the request, "why, mate? I'll just be in the eggs' room."

"Safety in numbers, right?" Pac asks, glancing between the two. "I would... Feel safer if you were here too."

Fit knows its a manipulation tactic to convince Philza to stay, to make sure the old crow is not alone. It still rings so very true - and so very against everything ingrained within Fit's soul.

It's fine. For a few nights he can manage it, if its what his two closest friends need.

"Alright," Philza hesitates, but comes over and sits on the edge of Pac's bed. He takes off his backpack, and leans his scythe just in reach. Pac and Fit take the opportunity to remove their prosthetics, hastily reattached to travel over here, and stretch.

When Philza stands again, both of them can see how unstable he looks.

"Let's push our beds together," Fit says. "If we put Pac between us, there isn't an angle they can get him from."

Philza looks at Fit, and knows exactly what he's doing. Still, Philza crafts up a third bed, and squishes it between the two.

He nearly falls as he walks around to do it; Fit catches him, helps him steady, but is brushed off before he can say a word.

"Alright," Philza says. "Pac in the middle then. You won't get too warm, will you?"

"I'm Brazilian," Pac says. "It's always too cold here now Mike is gone."

They both see how heavily Philza drops to the bed, curling himself back to Pac and defensively ready. Fit, on his side, curls close to Pac - his one arm over him.

It's not really a surprise how quickly Pac falls asleep, with the sheer trauma and strain of the day on his back. He quickly falls into dreams, and Fit can only hope they are kind.

"Phil," he asks, once he knows Pac is asleep. "Won't you sleep?"

"You needed a guard," Philza says.

"You know we don't. You and I? We'll wake if anything so much as tests the hatch."

It's true, and they both know it.

Philza, however, doesn't speak.

At least, not for a long time; Fit considers conversation a lost cause and is about to give up and call this good enough when he hears Philza again, voice broken just like it was in the garden.

"If I sleep, will I wake?" is what Philza asks, whispered almost silently. "How will I know when the world is real again? What will I see this time?"

"I'll make sure you wake up," Fit promises, because he can. "And I'll do something to make you absolutely certain its really me."

"Promise?"

Philza sounds so weak, so small like this. Fit... Fit cannot stand it, not at all. He reaches a little further, and manages to put his hand on Phil's shoulder.

Philza's own hand reaches over, clinging to it.

"I promise," Fit says. "We'll wake you if we leave. We won't let anything weird happen, its just sleep."

Philza turns, and his eyes do not seem to trust Fit. But they are also exhausted, and desperate, and terrified.

"Go to sleep, Phil. I won't until you do."

"I'm sorry," Philza whispers, sounding absolutely broken. "Thank you. Both of you. I know... I'm sorry."

Fit squeezes his shoulder again.

"It'll be alright," Fit replies. "I've got you. I've got both of you. It's going to be okay."

Nothing else is said before they eventually fall asleep.

#qsmp fanfic #qsmp philza #qsmp fit #qsmp pac #this is what I actually wanted to write today but working out the stuff with Bagi as well was hard #coping mechanism: worry about someone else instead of yourself #none of them are okay and they all need a hug #they got one in canon! #this is some more #and now my hands are completely dead #fuck three minifics in a day ow #brain really is just on nyoom today #it will not shut up #ao3 might take a bit see hand complaints #i'd like to get it up before bed but we'll see if I can handle the mouse #else it'll be... sometime tomorrow I have meetings

[cringefailvox]

f marry kill: alastor, lucifer, and vox edition (agonized over making it harder for u so i excluded val HAHA)

okay okay. hear me out:

fuck vox - this is the easiest thing to do with him i think. he likes to take charge and i could just hand him the reins, it works out for everybody and he'd probably try to make it good for me if only to make val jealous or something. i can respect it

marry lucifer - self explanatory. he's malewife material. i'd make him my little pet project of fixing his self esteem, you know? lilith fumbled him but i'd treat this man right.

kill alastor - everyone is safer with this guy dead

#LMFAOOO #okay let's be real. fucking alastor is asking to get killed #i could possibly do like a lavender marriage situation with him tho #we live on opposite sides of the house or something #thank you for this ask i laughed so hard writing this out #lucifer #vox #alastor #hazbin hotel

[crows-of-buckets]

Edelgard was 18.

Edelgard was 18 and held the entirety of her future in her hands. She was 18 and alone, 18 and scared, 18 and angry.

Edelgard was 18 sitting at a desk. Her desk. The walls of her room at the officers academy felt just as much protection as they did a cage at that moment. The wooden floors creaked under the weight of her chair.

Tomorrow things would change. Her and Hubert would walk alone, and together they would face down former friends turned foes as they carved their bloody path.

They would face the professor.

Edelgard leaned back, tears blurring her vision. She was doing her homework. Why was she doing her homework? Tomorrow in the holy tomb she would plunge Fodlan into a war the likes of which no one had seen in centuries. Homework was the least of her concerns.

She would have to face the professor.

Byleth, the stone faced mercenary who threw herself in front of Edelgard with no hesitation. Byleth, who spent hours carefully guiding her students to their fullest potential. Byleth, who sometimes got pale in battle after a particularly rough fight. Not because she feared her own safety, but because she feared that any of her students had received more than a scratch. Byleth, who patiently let Edelgard explain her nightmares. Byleth, who watched her be crowned Emperor of Adrestia.

The first person in a long time that Edelgard truly cared about.

She had tried so hard to avoid harboring any affection for her professor - for any of the residents at garreg mach. And yet the ashen demon had carved a place into her heart, dragging her students to reside there alongside her. Edelgard felt her throat tighten at the thought of raising her blade at Dorothea- at Ferdinand, at Caspar, at Linhardt, at Bernadetta, at Petra. Over the past few months their antics had grown on her, and now guilt lumped in her throat. She would turn her blades onto them, her kind and slightly stupid classmates. They would follow Byleth, and Byleth would follow the Church.

It made her feel sick.

Long past the point of caring about her homework, Edelgard walked over to her dresser. Flowers- mostly from the professor- were starting to shrivel in their vases. How poetic, she thought that they too shall die the last night I am an ally to those I hold dear. She plucked a flower from the vase- a single rose- and sat on the bed.

There was no point in trying to sleep. Anticipation and anxiety coursed through her. Tomorrow she would have to be a different woman. No longer Edelgard, the imperial princess of Adrestia. No longer Edelgard, the flame emperor, or Edelgard, house leader of the black eagles.

Tomorrow, she would be Edelgard, Emperor of Adrestia, the woman who tore the land from it's fragile peace for the sake of her own ideals.

She pulled her legs up, laying her head on her knees.

There would be no sleep tonight. For Edelgard was 18, and she had a world to change.

Whether it be by herself, or with allies at her back, the Emperor of Adrestia had work to do.

#edelgard #edelgard von hresvelg #fuck it im posting this #fe3h #edelgard fire emblem #fire emblem edelgard #fire emblem 3h #fire emblem three houses #black eagles fe3h #black eagles #please dont judge too hard okay i don't write a lot #i also wrote this when i was doing horrible mentally #being 18 fucked with me so hard i felt like an awful person for exsisting #im doing better now but like. this is not just a character study i was throwing myself onto the page lmao

[cosmic-cogs]

So, I want uh... an Autobot (NB) reader and Soundwave, both pinning on each other and in a more calm battle (maybe 2v1) readers "subtlety" compliments him in his battle skills and the other member of the team prime is like 'THAT'S THE ENEMY' while Soundwave is completely calm about it, at least in the exterior and beating their asses. You are welcome to add whatever you like, and if it was headcannons I would be pleased

(I am aware that that would be extremely ooc from Soundwave but it's was a funny idea in my head 😔)

You get both hc's and a short blurb, aren't I so delightfully evil? Also I don't know how I managed to make this into angst but I hope you like it.

Pairing: tfp!Soundwave x nb!autobot!reader, romantic

Missions with Bulkhead were, simply put, fun. There were no real restrictions, safe for the obvious once like "don't cause human casualties" and "aim for the spark but torture isn't cool". No one would complain in the background as the wreckers lived up to their name and utterly wrecked the surrounding area.

Bulkhead didn't complain about the mess, no, but he did complain about… other things. 

"Oh! Such elegance and grace! He moves like he's air~' the bot practically purrs in admiration as they stare at the sleek Decepticon who's very much so trying to get somebody killed today.

"Uh- hey you do remember that he's the enemy, right? Haven't hit your processor and forgotten that, have you?" Bulkhead asks as he barely dodges another attack from Soundwave, giving his teammate an opening to shoot, which they gladly take. To no one's surprise Soundwave gracefully moves to the side and dodges the energy blast, "I knoooow, it's such a shame the cute ones are all Decepticons, right?" "I- have you lost your mind?!" "First Knockout, then Breakdown, and now him!  I mean seriously, what's with that?" "(N/N) now is not the time for this" talking and fighting at the same time come to the pair like breathing comes to humans, at this point it's just how things are. They kick ass and exchange their thoughts in the process. 

"If not now, when?! I can't just gush over him at the base! Arcee would yell at me" they frown, taking another shot at the con, finally landing a hit though it barely even scrapes his paint job. 

Bulkhead is so done. If it was anyone else- correction- if this was an autobot his friend was gushing over he'd be nothing but supportive. Truly he wishes them all the best. 

Not with a goddamn Decepticon though. He's internally begging that they're just messing with him.

They aren't. 

Miko definitely sneaked through the groundbridge to witness the battle and yeah she definitely heard and yeah she definitely ships it.

In a sense, Soundwave is completely unaffected by the compliments. Of course had this been a time of peace he would have entertained the thought of returning the affections, but he knows it's a foolish thought now. His spark may yearn for a lover but he denies the call, he won't betray his cause, not after everything he's done in its name, and he knows the autobot is unlikely to betray their friends.

He's neutral toward the compliments, he doesn't need the praise, he's not blind to his talents. He knows he's graceful, agile, and though he doesn't give it much consideration he knows he's beautiful in the eyes of many.

Though slowly and slightly he warms up to the bot. They seem kind, he might be a Decepticon but that is still a trait he admires, even if he more often than not would take advantage of such a trait.

As time goes forward, slowly he starts to go just slightly easier. Gives them a second longer to dodge, doesn't immediately go for their spark. 

Small changes, but once he hopes they can notice. 

Maybe after the war is over, regardless of whose victory it'll be, maybe then he could spare them more of his time, get to know them a little better. Return their compliments, allow himself to open up to them.

But that is all wishful thinking, he's aware of as much. But it's a wish he keeps close to his spark.

Perhaps he would meet his doom by their servo, or perhaps he would extinguish their spark before that wish ever came true, they were in the middle of a brutal war after all. 

He's fully aware that each fight could very well be his last, or theirs. He knows that each time seeing them could be the last, he tries to savor those brief moments.

Either way, whatever the future holds, however the story goes, he hopes that their face would be the last thing he sees. Be that because they bested him in battle, or because they'll be the last thing he'll be thinking of, along with his long lost cassettes.

There was a time they met alone in a barren battlefield, or, now it was just a field.

There was no need to fight, no real desire to.

Both were standing face to face with an enemy, yet neither made the move to kill.

No, for that brief moment they looked around and exchanged their wordless confessions. 

The world was still, for a moment it felt like the years of endless bloodshed were yet to happen, or almost as if they never existed at all.

It felt like they were back home on Cybertron. The other's presence didn't feel like the one of an enemy, no. Instead it felt like they were both new sparks who had met for the first time, yet at the same time it felt like they'd known each other for all their lives. 

It felt like all these eons spent at war had been pointless after all. 

They stared at him for a little longer and he stared back, he didn't need to say a word, they understood the meaning easily.

"After the war"

"After the war"

That was a promise he could only hope he could keep.

But as the cruel and unrelenting fate, which at this point he assumes to be vengeful, would have it, he was right. That accursed moment of separation came eventually. Not because death tore them apart, rather it was the fault of humans. 

Now he was to roam this lonely realm, Shadowzone, alone, silently watching as the bot he'd made his sweet promise had to quietly grieved for him in solitude. 

After all, Bulkhead was under the impression they were merely joking, and how could they ever tell the others the reason behind their sparkache? As if they'd understand the pain that came with this loss, one they needed to cope with by their lonesome. He was their enemy yet he was undeniably loved by them. But now it seemed that said love could never truly bloom, not even after the war as they'd once promised to one another.

He never left their side, not till they went too far for him to follow, back to Cybertron. 

Now he's alone.

Even still, he hopes that one day he'll be able to keep his word. 

"After the war"

He'll wait for that moment for as long as it takes, but at the same time he wonders.

Will they be waiting for him as well?

#rid15 happens and he gets out of the shadowzone and just graps steeljaw by the scruff of his neck and asks where the f his spouce is #tfp x reader #tfp soundwave #they love eachother your honor #tfp soundwave x reader #soundwave x reader #look I love him anyway but his tfp design was PEAK #g1 and anything similar to it? I love. They go hard. But I am not immune to slenderman robot either #soundwave' shaking steeljaw: inquiry: where is designation: (s/o) #steeljaw: who the fuck is that? #soundwave isn't evil anymore he wants that fucking date okay. #my writing

[crybaby-bkg]

sorry I’ve been on such a Dabi high lately but I almost croaked earlier at the thought of being his college gf and just being so opposite of each other!!!!!! you’re all good grades and perfect attendance, easily approachable and sweet smiles. and he’s all grumpy faced and dark clothing, makes people nervous whenever he stands outside smoking right by the doors.

who the hell would’ve thought you two would end up together? it just didn’t make a lick of sense seeing you two from the outside. but when they get a glimpse of you guys together, alone, everything just falls into place.

he’s so supportive of everything you do, no matter how dumb or nerdy he thinks it is. he keeps count of your stitches for you when you crotchet, doesn’t mind being your model for a cropped hot pink sweater you’re creating, wears the knitted beanie around campus that you made for him. he hates not having your attention but he takes some of the same classes you take so that he can help you study, quiz you when you’re not too sure of the subject, maybe even help you cheat if you want (you don’t, but he always offers).

he buys you your favorite drink at the cafes and always carries an extra laptop charger in case you forget. he helps you pick out your outfits when you’re unsure, and loves the opposite aesthetic whenever you stand hand in hand with him. he praises you when you succeed, and comforts you with your failures. he looks like a dirtbag that hangs around campus to be a creepy bum, but he’s there for you through and through <3

#sorry I just cannot get enough of him #I wanna write another fic for him which is terrible #bc I already have like 8 on my list :( #but he’s just so :((((( #I want him to be my opposite but so supportive bf so bad #he’s all cigarette smoke and I’m all strawberry scented lipgloss :( #why is talking about self shipping so hard for me AKSJDKDJDJ #I changed I’m to yours and back to I’m like nine times lmfao #BUT SERIOUSLY I need him so bad or else I’ll combust #I don’t need to write another college bf touya au I DONT!!!!!!!(?) #I’m being tempted……..he is my temptress in my hero journey……….and I am weak…… #okay bye I wrote this at midnight but didn’t think anyone would see it until this morning anyway lol #I will attempt to do my own cluster lashes so wish me luck #if they fuck w my sensory issues then they are immediately coming AWF #—new treat in the streets! 🍫 #dabi treats! 🍬

[dilfhos]

i feel a lot of yall that say they hate mahito are pre -tty comfy on that wagon. pretty sure some of yall would deep down let that him worm-wiggle in ur cooch. would probably let them dozen or so wiggling hands feel on you too. imagine the many touches he could leave with his mouth alone. or ur just scared to admit it and its okay. its okay you refuse to look closely at the chisel denting his torso. at the off guard pretty glances or the hair akin to a dead raccoon’s tail. maybe his luscious lashes fr turn you off or the pathetic way he giggles. its okay. his home isn’t much either, but its honest work if you kick away the rat bones to the other side, then its okay. he won’t be able to defend you either, but if you’re strong enough to be near him that’s okay!

see its okay 😌���‍♀️ you’re safe now. put down your pitchfork.

#[ just in—☆ ] #mahito #im here if you want to talk #this blog is now a safehaven for the m*hito fuckers🩵 #he can expand my domain anytime idc #after a bath of course!! #cant have the girlies thinkin i fuck dirties 🙄 #ill wear his kids #i mean his merch ill wear his merch everywhere #and put up cute little signs like: have you seen my disfigured rat :(( plz call. dont on weekdays #its okay TOTO I GOTCHU #lmao plz dont take this srs i was pissing myself writing this #if i cant go hard for the hated what kinda fan am i really djdhdhdhdh *a normal one don. a normal one*

[luna-mad-talks]

Generally, I need me some Coby/Koby mutuals. Specifically, I need more Kobylu/Cobylu friends. I want to scream about them so much. I want. I need. Im actually a pile of tears on the ground for them for Koby listen hey JUST LISTEN IM NOT ENTIRELY INSANE JUST

#Sure I can write but im too fucking slow #Its hard okay #Im trying #kobylu #coby one piece #cobylu #op coby #op koby #koby one piece #why am i like this #one piece #mutuals #sobbing #The Chaos of a Writer

[justarandomlambblog]

I was possessed at 3 am

ignore the Lamb without horns it's 3 am-

#cult of the lamb #comic #Lamb cotl #Narinder #I know Narinder doesn't grin but I thought it was more fitting for these scenes/sentiments #so he gets to grin #playing with the hc that the Bishops were once mortals raised into their godhood from birth #I might clean this up in the future but for now have a messy 3 am sketch #Narilamb #<- kind of??? #not exactly *happy* Narilamb but ey #Look I just wanted to write/draw about the young Bishops when things were Okay #the Bishops are hard to draw help #and also establish that my Lamb is a little bit fucked up actually

[sollucets]

guys i am trying Really hard not to have public opinions about of this morning... pray for me

#i work really hard not to do that. genuinely. every single time i reblog a meta or post my own opinion or write more serious tags #it is Vetted #i keep these things to my friends & my discord & such on purpose because. because. it's better for everyone #but im hanging on by a thread today i guess :') #for now.... just.... people need to remember that when youre debating fiction like this #the characters are fictional but the people listening aren't #and you can cause real fucking harm by talking about demographics the way people have been #rowan chatter #(if i see someone fucking say ray can't love again i'm going to kill. it's directly to murder i will be committing crimes) #(AND if i see another implication that he should've had to get sent to prison it'll be arson also) #fuck you all you dont get to have ray anymore. im taking him he's in my pocket now #do people even know how rehab & therapy fucking WORK #okay. okay. okay okk okokokkok mission failed a little #but we're far enough down in the tags now. reblogs are off. don't eat me

[sunshinediaz]

tease tidbit tuesday 🫧

i was tagged by @disasterbuckdiaz, @daffi-990, and @exhuastedpigeon mwah mwah

i have semi-high hopes of finishing the heart attack fic tomorrow if i don't have to stand anymore beams in the barn loft, sigh, so have a little bit of something from that 🫶🏼

“You were dead for almost four minutes.”  Eddie sighs. “Damn,” he says, tossing his head back against the pillows and giving Buck a lazy, crooked smile. It’s so much like Christopher’s it hurts the fat meat of his heart. “There goes another one of my lives. Don’t know how many more I have left at this point.”  Something shoves up in Buck’s throat, mean and nasty and sour. It tastes like Eddie’s blood when he was shot.  “It’s not funny.”  Eddie laughs. “It’s a little funny,” he insists, wiggling his toes beneath the blanket and poking at Buck’s thigh. “I mean—Buck, come on. It’s okay to laugh. I am.”  Buck shakes his head. “You died, Eddie,” he says, quiet, and grabs Eddie’s squirming toes as a casual tether. “I don’t want to laugh at that.” 

no pressure tagging @giddyupbuck, @callmenewbie, @callaplums, @eddiebabygirldiaz, @eddiediaztho, @wikiangela, @wildlife4life, @eowon, @thewolvesof1998, @loserdiaz, @try-set-me-on-fire, @folk-fae, @fortheloveofbuddie, @hippolotamus, @honestlydarkprincess, @jesuisici33, @ladydorian05, @made-ofmemories, and @mysteriouslyyounggalaxy, and anybody else who wants to have fun!

#this is very much angst with a happy ending if i could just get through the angsty parts smh #the amount of research that's gone into this... it's medically inaccurate because i don't have time to be for reals #but it's BASED in fact and holy fuck i almost had a meltdown yesterday but i calmed down after a couple more minutes #and found that what i had initially thought to be true WAS in fact true 😌 #but writing action? it's so hard and what even FOR? #i just want buck to beat up jonah and eddie to be okay but nOooOOOO i have to actually write it? #fuck off i don't like that #anyway fingers crossed this will be finished tomorrow??? #tag games

[babacontainsmultitudes]

Lincoln and Grant eventually having a very emotional and much needed talk over the speaking stones do you see my vision?

Lincoln who is so hurt and betrayed that he can't even bear to look at his dad right now, who *needs* space, but who loves his dad (the fucking poeticism of that nat 20 babeeey) and keeps the stone with him as a compromise, for when he's ready, as a show of love in and of itself, that he's still his dad's baby, eventually choosing to give him another chance.

Grant who loves his son more than anything in the world, but who can no longer avert his gaze and speak in half-truths and jump off of (cat)buses. Grant who *needs* to prove that he can confront himself and talk about his pain and his shame and his mistakes and try for his son's sake if not for his own to love himself and see himself as something other than broken and beyond repair. Grant who's last chance is stripped of all possibilities of escape and now he can only talk. But maybe it's easier this way for him too. To not have to look at the child he tried so painfully hard but ultimately failed to protect as his heart unravels, to pretend that he is alone with his thoughts rather than speaking to someone, to let the tears fall down his face without having to be seen.

#well at the very least I see my vision lol #it's sad Wilson hours what can I say I'm so worried about them #lincoln li wilson #grant wilson #dndads #dndads spoilers #dungeons and daddies #dndads s2 ep 38 #spoilers #are you okay baba you haven't touched your speaking stone #I'M FINE I'M SO NORMAL ABOUT THEM #no I've been a bit frustrated cause I have a big thing I've been trying to write about Lincoln and to a slightly lesser degree Grant #and perhaps the Wilsons more generally #but it's been hard to get to for some reason #but all that is on the past and the present #I really don't know what's going to happen with them #I've felt for a long while that their relationship would be the most difficult one to repair #definitely still feel that way oh yes all the more so now #but fuck I want so badly for them to get through it

[es-quest]

"What do you mean by that?" You ask, this is much different from what you were expecting. You thought you would be the one offering God something not the other way around...

"Exactly what I mean! I'll make sure your protected and cared for properly and you don't have to do anything in return!"

"Anything? That's..." Too much really, if you were being honest, you would love that but it almost feels like your stealing from him if you took that offer.

(You think of the people outside, you wonder how they would react to you refusing something like this. Not pleasant you imagine, you don't know why your pushing against it so hard, your being rather ungrateful.)

God looks at you carefully. "Hm, if you won't accept it for free then... why don't you just entertain me for a bit?" Hm? "Entertain?" He nods. "Being God can get very boring, and..." He looks off to the distance. "If I'm being honest, a bit lonely. So a bit of entertainment every now and again is always nice. You do not have to visit me often, I would not want to trouble you with all of this, especially after what I have done to you." "But, I would appreciate it."

(You feel even worse now. He really doesn't seem like a God, just a sad rabbit.)

(And...how are you supposed to say no to that?)

-----------------------------------

A few days, weeks or maybe even months later. Someone enters the temple.

There's been a lot of people entering lately, you haven't had the time to count or even memorize all of them, but they all want so many different things from the both of you. It's getting a bit stressful.

You turn to greet them.

"Ah hello! What do you want for today?"

#milgram #es quest #ask blog #amane momose #cw child abuse #ooc: AHHHHHH FUCK OKAY FINALLY I GOT THROUGH THIS #THIS PART IS HARD FOR SOME REASON TO WRITE AND I DO NOT KNOW WHY

[uhbasicallyjustmilex]

every night. EVERY NIGHT when the album i’m listening to finishes, spotify starts playing killing the joke and my peaceful little writing headspace is disrupted by me staring into the void for a good ten minutes in considerable emotional distress, thinking yet again about the fact miles really wrote: ‘interstellar dressed in leather drinking bitter boy/you know the plan but you never knew the ploy/but i, i live a lonely life/since you been gone’

#i mean #genuinely #it’s so hard to believe those lyrics (and the entire song) aren’t about a very specific interstellar dressed in leather drinking bitter boy #god the heartbreak on this whole album just gets me every time #it just makes me want to give miles the biggest hug 💔 #but also #fuck you spotify for breaking my heart with this song on like #a daily basis #when i’m just innocently sitting there trying to write #it’s very distracting #okay and now that i’ve vented my feelings out in the tags #it’s time to take a deep breath and return to my chapter #miles kane #milex #lulu posts

[dystopiagnome]

idk about anyone else but I would love to see any and all anaroceit content you are okay with posting <3

signed,

the roceit anon from a little while ago

:0 roceit anon, my beloved.

Anyways permission from one is permission to post!

#anaroceit #anxceit #roceit #tss janus #tss Roman #tss Virgil #every time an anon becomes reoccurring I imagine the guest star cheering happens #like woah!!!!! You come back to the show!!!!! #Holy fuck!!!! #🥳🎊🎉🎊🎉 #also also also quick explanations! #actually I tried to explain and got embarrassed #BTW THE NOTES GET EMBARRASSING I FORGOT I ACTUALLY LOVE THEM WHEN I STARTED WRITING AND WROTE TOO MUCH deleted more for my dignity #I love my partners and I think they’re cute and I love them and they do these cute little things they make wanna die #Dear beloved Roman kinnie hyperfixates and he’s gone never to be seen again but he goes at it with such passion that he tricks you into #two days straight of only ninja turtles but it’s okay because he’s super into it and living for it #the way that man can love one thing so hard for so long #it’s impressive #so that’s what that last one is #the middle one is less emotional but like you know how in cartoons a character kisses another in passing and the one #who got kissed turns bright red with a dopey smile and hearts leak out of them as they just passively start to follow the other #looney tunes type shit #kinda that except I’m not very keen on PDA so it caught me off guard and this bitch really just let me melt in front of our friends #anyways I’m absolutely enamored by them but apple pie I got an image #I’d like to get used to that if possible but don’t read into that #I’m a little more hesitant to discus that one since I know they read my tags #can’t show weakness to their face they’ll know how to take me down </3 #first one is just we lose custody on weekends and forget until we miss him (very quickly embarrassingly fast)