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julemmaes · 4 years

Note

Hey! Can I please have Thomastair with "I love you! Are you blind?" With Alastair being the oblivious one......I just adore your writing, especially that 'You marry me Alas' one! 💕

Blind - October 6th

Alastair Carstairs x Thomas Lightwood

A/N: Thank you so much for the prompt and I’m really glad you like You marry me Alas, it’s my favorite too. I hope this is satisfying enough for you and I’m really sorry if I posted so late, but as I said yesterday, I’m not home and it’s kinda hard to arrange things.

Word count: 1,745

Throughout the evening, Thomas had watched the newcomer flirt with Alastair. He thought he had been fairly good at hiding that feeling of uncertainty and anger towards the adonis, Dalton Roseblade, but from the looks Matthew and James were casting his way, he was not doing so well. He had to be honest, Dalton's pitch black hair and bright green eyes were much more inviting than the normal light brown of his hair and the chestnut of his eyes, but he was still irritated by the constant interactions and touches shared by Alastair and him.

"Alas!" cried the new boy, "Come! It's your turn."

Thomas had to hold back a shudder of disgust when Alastair stood up from the seat next to his and smiled at the other boy, "What's the rush? You know I'm going to kick your ass anyway," he joked, placing a hand on Dalton's arm.

Following Alastair's gesture with his eyes and hearing the other guy's laugh, he also stood up, no longer able to support that situation, and left the arcade, giving Lucie permission to play for him. He sucked at bowling anyway, he might as well let someone else play if he could avoid those constant exchanges of sympathetic glances.

He felt someone grab his arm when he was at the door and turned abruptly, with a frown on his face, ready to tell his boyfriend to go back to make goo-goo eyes at other people. His expression changed from irritated to apologetic when he realized it was Matthew.

His friend looked him in the eye and Thomas could almost see the wheels in his brain twirling, "Do you need me to come out with you?" he asked him quietly, but in a firm tone.

Thomas took one look at the bowling alley filled with his friends and saw Dalton helping Alastair choose "the perfect ball". He thought that any excuse was good to touch the other. He shifted his attention to the new boy's face and grimaced, focusing back on Matthew, "Whatever."

The blond nodded, "Give me a second, I'll get the cigarettes."

Thomas waited for him in front of the entrance and when James lifted his thumb up to him as if to ask him if everything was all right, he nodded just once, snorting. Christopher was also watching him closely, chewing on his lip, thoughtful.

If everyone had noticed it, Alastair must have noticed too and it was pissing him off even more, because if what he thought was true, it meant his boyfriend was doing that on purpose. Maybe to make him jealous.

He doesn't need to make me jealous, I'm already his. Thomas thought while accepting one of Math's cigarettes.

As he breathed in he could feel the other's green stinging eyes burning on the back of his head, "Do you think he's doing this without realizing it?"

Thomas snickered jokingly, "No, Alastair is not stupid. He knows he's bugging me."

"Well, sorry for the next words, but he's a piece of shit," Matthew said as he sat on the parking lot wall. Thomas imitated him, swinging his legs.

He shrugged, "I don't think he's being mean. He knows it bothers me, yes, but he does it to get my attention," he muttered, adding shortly afterwards, "At least I think so."

Matthew didn't answer right away and Thomas was more than happy to finish the conversation there, but the friend picked up just as he was about to get up, stopping him, "That's not nice of him anyway."

He looked over his shoulder. Matthew wrinkled his forehead, "I mean, after all, you've already gone out several times." he continued, saying the obvious, "You've even kissed, haven't you?" he asked for confirmation.

Thomas simply nodded, making a cloud of smoke. The blond knew very well that they had kissed. He had got him drunk off his ass to celebrate that slightest achievement.

Besides, Thomas insisted on calling him his boyfriend when they talked about it in private, but he and Alastair had never really said anything about the matter and the guy wasn't even sure if the other wanted a real relationship with him.

They finished their cigarettes in silence and Matthew didn't let half a second pass before lighting a second one. Thomas allowed himself to admire the beauty of his friend's face lit only by the dim light of the fire. He wondered how it was possible that of all the friends in their group, Matthew was the only single one.

"Maybe he's trying to send me a message and wants to tell me that if I don't hurry he could easily find someone else." he hypothesized by jumping off the wall and rubbing his hands on his pants.

Matthew laughed, "If that's the case, it would be pretty childish." when Thomas raised an eyebrow, he explained, "I mean, you've been going out for more than a month, like, three times a week - how you're not together yet, only you know." he gave him a questioning look, "If he were to go out tonight with this charade just to tell you to hurry up instead of taking a step forward himself, it would be ridiculous."

"I guess you're right," whispered Thomas, kicking a pebble on the ground.

"Well," Matthew said, "you don't have to guess anymore, you can ask him directly."

He jumped off the wall, pointing with his chin to the entrance of the arcade, where a very confused Alastair was looking at them with his hands in his pockets and an uncertain expression.

Matthew patted him on the shoulder, wishing him good luck, and nodded his head once as he passed Alastair, before returning to the building.

Thomas was not sure he wanted to have this conversation now.

Alastair was the first to speak, "Are you okay?" he seemed genuinely concerned by the tone of his voice, but Thomas couldn't look him in the face.

"Yes, I'm fine," he replied dryly, keeping on playing with the rock.

He heard, more than saw, Alastair approaching, "Are you sure?"

"I've never been so sure in my life, why do you ask?"

"Because you've been avoiding me all evening and I cannot for the love of god understand why." to those words, uttered with sincere confusion, Thomas' head snapped up, in Alastair's direction.

He opened his eyes wide, opening his mouth slightly, "Avoiding you?" he wondered if he had heard right. When Alastair nodded, his mouth reduced to a thin line, Thomas laughed, "Are you fucking with me?"

Alastair winced at the words. It was so unusual to hear Thomas swear, that even the boy himself was left with a bitter taste in his mouth.

"What do you mean?" Alastair asked harmlessly.

"Oh my goodness, don't you really get it?" he asked bewildered, trying to figure out if the other was really joking or if he hadn't noticed the way he had behaved with him and Dalton.

Alastair's features got stiffer and he came a few steps closer, pointing a finger at his chest, "I don't know what you're talking about and I don't care." he began, lowering his hand, "I came out here to tell you that if you're going to act like this for much longer, I'd rather end it here."

Thomas couldn't believe what he was saying, "You're kidding." it wasn't a question.

"No, damn it, Thomas, I'm not joking. You've been avoiding me since we got here and I thought things were going well between us. After all those fucking dates." Alastair had raised his voice and he sounded delirious. Maybe Thomas wasn't the only one who had had a bad night. "And instead I find myself forced to endure the pity of a stranger. A stranger who has realized how badly my boyfriend is treating me and who is trying to cheer me up".

Thomas was left breathless.

Boyfriend.

"What did you say?"

Alastair frowned, raising his hands to the sky and growling, "Are you serious now?"

Thomas looked him straight in the eye, "You called me your boyfriend."

The boy in front of him seemed more confused than ever, "Yes, Thomas. I called you my boyfriend."

"But you," Thomas stumbled over the words, "have been flirting with Dalton all night."

"What are you talking about?" he asked, exasperated by this quarrel that was going in two very different directions. He reached out his hands to Thomas, but immediately put them down again, not wanting to overstep his boundaries, "I tried to start a conversation with you nine times tonight. Nine." Alastair clarified, grimacing, "Do you know how embarrassing it was for me to try to explain to Dalton that the sulking and silent boy who was blatantly ignoring me and treating me like a stranger was my boyfriend?"

Thomas shook his head. He had been so stupid.

He felt so guilty he couldn't even speak.

He had treated Alastair harshly all night, convinced that he was flirting with the newcomer, when in reality he had only sought some comfort because of his behavior towards him.

He didn't realize that Alastair had kept talking until he heard him say, "and I know you hate me-".

Something in Thomas' head must have broken down, because his following words were, "Hate you? I love you!" he almost shouted.

Alastair stopped, closing his eyes for one second too long and opening his mouth slightly.

"What?"

"I love you! Are you blind?" said Thomas laughing, getting so close that he felt the warmth radiating from the other's body, "God, I love you so much that my heart burst when I look at you. And I love you so much that when I got here and saw you talking to Dalton the part of my brain that deals with logical thinking stopped working," they both laughed. Both their cheeks reddened from the cold and embarrassment.

He grabbed Alastair's face and the other one basked in that touch, "You love me."

"I love you, Alas." the boy's eyes softened and a slight smile formed on both their lips.

And then finally, Thomas leaned forward and sealed his lips on Alastair's. His tongue stroked the other's repeatedly and when he began to see us black from the lack of oxygen, Thomas broke away, sighing and laughing with their foreheads pressed together.

"I am an idiot, forgive me," whispered Thomas against his lips, closing his eyes.

Alastair smiled, kissing him again, "Forgiven," he said amusedly, "idiot."

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thefreckledelf · 4 years

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I don’t give a fuck about any of the pairings in Chain of Gold except thomastairs. Like the whole thing with James and Cordelia: predictable, excepected, overdone. Whatever is happening with Lucie and Jesse: not developed because Jesse is never allowed to finish any sentence that actually matters, also Lucie is not given nearly enough screen time for me to be invested in anything she does. Matthew: I don’t fucking care who he ends up with, I just want him to go to therapy. However Thomas and Alastair have everything. They have the drama, enemies to lovers (kinda), personal growth, grumpy one who’s soft for the sunshine one, flexing on the ex boyfriend. Like they are the only ones I would die for.

#thomastairs #thomaslightwood #alastair carstairs #alastair x charles #thomas x alastair #alastair lightwood #thomasxalastair #thomastair #choi #cog #chainofgold #tlh #the last hours tlh

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jessamine--lovelace · 4 years

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Thomastair headcanons pls!!

Alastair will(!!!) redeem himself and after that he'll court thomas bc it's what they deserve

Thomas calls Alastair "al" when no one is around and alastair melts

they are messes for each other like you can't mention one of them without the other to have a gay panic it's just how it is

Alastair likes tracing the outline of Thomas' tattoo and when he s feeling particularly soft (which is very often when it involves Thomas) he kisses it

Thomas reveals he can speak Persian by saying I love you for the first time in persian(and Alastair is on the floor bc of so much love)

Thomas is always running his hands through Alastair's hair and tells him he likes his hair

thomas also kisses alastair's eyes and skin and just worships him and all the parts of him that made him so insecure for so much time

alastair asks lucie for advice when he wants to buy Thomas a gift and she's beyond hyped(mostly because thomas asked Cordelia about a gift for Alastair and cordelia told Lucie about it so yeah)

alastair will bond with the other thieves and they will all spend time together like a happy family

Cordelia is the first one to find out about their relationship(followed shortly by the thieves and lucie)

#tsc #the last hours #chain of gold #chain of gold spoilers #kinda?? but not really but just to be sure #my writing #my headcanons #asks and other interactions #thomas lightwood #alastair carstairs #thomasxalastair #lightstairs #thomalastair #headcanon requests #cassandra clare #the shadowhunters chronicles #original content!!!

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suchalovelydisaster · 4 years

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Idol, Crush, Boyfriend, the Love of my Life/ A Cute Thomastair fic

A Thomastair fic inspired by a One Line Prompt by @katie-girl-2 on Tumblr. Word Count: 1,739

I did also post this on ao3

“You didn’t do the dishes,” Alastair laughed, smirking. “So I’m not doing you.” He smiled at the reaction the taller boy had to his comment. He had asked Thomas to do them before they left the flat for an enclave meeting. The two were just returning after a very uneventful meeting, save for Matthew Fairchild announcing to his friends that his older brother, Charles’s tie did not flatter the color of his eyes.

Thomas hated dishes and Alastair despised laundry so they often just did what the other hated and split the other chores. However, after Thomas went to Idris for a few days to spend time with his sister, Eugenia, Alastair was left to do not only laundry but everything else.

“That’s not fair, I was rushed,” Thomas complained.

“You had an hour!” Alastair exclaimed. He could not understand his boyfriend sometimes.

“I was reading!” Thomas protested. James Herondale, one of his best friends, had given him a book recommendation and was completely captivated by it. “And you’re just being petty because I left you alone for a few days.” Thomas sighed as he hung up his coat and made his way over to the bookshelf where Alastair was standing. Thomas wrapped his hands around the shorter boy’s waist and leaned down to bury his head in Alastair’s neck.

Alastair continued to look through the titles on their bookshelf, running his finger along the spines of the books. He pretended to pay no attention to the gorgeous boy leaning on his shoulder. “True,” he responded. “However, at least when I come back home I don’t make a mess of the kitchen. What do you want for dinner?” Thomas had gotten home from Idris before Alastair came back from patrol and had attempted to make a snack for himself. Alastair returned to the smell of smoke. There was a reason Thomas did not cook.

You, Thomas thought to himself. However, he restrained himself as he knew that both of them were hungry. He lifted his head, still resting it on Alastair’s shoulder, to look at the shelf of cookbooks and recipes that was just below eye level for his boyfriend. “I don’t really care, to be honest.”

After a while, the two came to an agreement on what to have for dinner. The shorter boy cooked, telling Thomas to hand him things every once and a while. The hazel-eyed boy entertained himself by flirting with his Alastair as he cooked.

“Help me with the dishes, Lightwood?” Alastair asked as they finished eating. He took his plate to the sink and began to run the water.

“I suppose.” Thomas stood and walked over to his boyfriend and bent down to kiss him on the cheek. Thomas had rolled up his sleeves allowing for his tattoo to become visible. His tattoo of a compass rose with unfurling rose petals. The ink stood out beautifully against his skin and other runes that adorned his body.

Alastair turned to Thomas and leaned up to kiss him. His hand now resting on the taller boy’s shoulder. Thomas smiled and lifted a hand to Alastair’s hair, intertwining his fingers with his dark locks. Just then, Thomas felt something fly past his ear and saw the Persian boy catch something bright. A fire message. Thomas turned off the tap as Alastair read the message.

“It’s from Cordelia,” Alastair said, now clearly worried. “She says she wants us to meet her at the Institute. She didn’t mention why.”

“We should go, then.”

“Yes, do you have your weapons ready?”

“I do. And my stele is in my jacket.”

“Okay,” said Alastair, his brow still furrowed with worry. “Let us go then.”

It was a short walk to the London Institute. Alastair, however, was practically running. Thomas was able to keep at his side just by lengthening his strides. The pair arrived at the steps of the Institute shortly after departing their flat.

Alastair rushed into the Institute meeting Cordelia and Anna Lightwood at the entrance. “Hello, Anna. Layla is everything all right?” Alastair asked, his voice filled with concern.

“Yes, Alastair everything is fine,” Cordelia replied, taken aback by her brother’s obvious unease. “Are you alright, Alastair?” She asked. Out of the corner of his eye, Alastair saw Thomas move to speak to his cousin.

“Yes, I’m fine,” he responded. “You just were not clear why you needed us here and I worried something had happened.” No matter the circumstance, Alastair was always ready to protect Cordelia.

“Everything is fine Alastair,” Cordelia soothed. “I had just wanted a few extra people to be with tonight.” Normally, she and her husband, James Herondale, would have people over to play games and chat with. Since Thomas had just returned from Idris, however, both he and Alastair were meant to be exempted from tonight. Their friends had intended on allowing them to have a moment to themselves. Apparently, she had changed her mind.

“Well then, Tom, Alastair, Daisy, I believe there are people waiting for us inside,” Anna said. Did Anna just hand something to Thomas? Alastair could have sworn he saw an exchange going from Anna’s pocket to his boyfriend’s. It was probably nothing, just a trick of the lights. The four made their way into the Institute.

“Thank you for holding onto this for me.” Thomas had whispered to Anna when he met her at the Institute steps. “I didn’t want him to see anything before we left the house.”

“It wasn’t a problem. Ari has been looking forward to this all day.” Anna replied. “Do you want to do it before we go in or-”

“Right before, that way you and Cordelia can go into the games room. Let’s pray to the Angel things go well.”

“Well then, Tom, Alastair, Daisy, I believe there are people waiting for us inside,” Anna said as she transferred the item she had been given at the enclave meeting today back to Thomas.

The Carstairs siblings and two of the Lightwoods made their way to the Institute’s games room, where, Alastair assumed, was where the Herondales and the rest of their friends were.

“Alastair,” Thomas said, stopping in the corridor. Anna and Cordelia continued on their way to the room. “Can I talk to you for a second?” It was now clear to Alastair, that something was going on. Something he had not been made aware of.

“Of course,” Alastair responded. He looked up at Thomas, who’s eyes were gleaming in the witchlight and wondered what he could possibly be up to.

“I was wondering, do you know how much you mean to me, Alastair?”

Alastair smiled, at this. “I believe I do, love.” He saw Thomas smile at this response.

Thomas spoke eloquently, “There was a time when I idolized you, I followed you around wherever you went. Years passed and I realized that the term ‘idol’ was not one that I could place for you anymore. I decided to myself that ‘crush’ was most likely the most appropriate term to use. There were some times that tested our relationship. Despite this, I knew I couldn’t live without you. I knew that I had fallen in love with you, Alastair.”

Idol, crush, boyfriend, the love of my life. Alastair was at a loss for words as Thomas described the story of their romance. His heart swelled as he listened to the words in Thomas’s declaration of love.

“Alastair Carstairs, my love,” Thomas said, as he lowered himself onto one knee and removed a box from his pocket. Alastair’s hand flew to his mouth, his eyes shining. “You are a man who I do not think I can live my life without.” Thomas opened the box as he asked Alastair his next question. “Will you marry me?”

Alastair was in a state of shock. They had discussed marriage in the past. His mother had asked him about it several times since he and Thomas decided to start living together. Now, here he stood, standing in front of Thomas Lightwood on one knee with the Lightwood family ring in his hand. He couldn’t hear words coming out of his mouth, but he was furiously nodding his head trying to make sure Thomas understood what his answer was.

“Y-Yes, Thomas.” Alastair managed to choke out. “Yes, I will marry you.”

The two shared an embrace and a kiss as Thomas slid the engagement ring onto Alastair’s finger.

“By the Angel, I love you,” Alastair muttered as Thomas brought the smaller boy’s hand to his mouth and kissed where the Lightwood family ring now rested.

“And I love you,” Thomas dropped Alastair’s hand and said, “Now I think there are a few people waiting for us.”

They entered the games room to see who was waiting for them. Inside waited Thomas’s older sister, Eugenia, along with Christopher and Anna Lightwood. Lucie Herondale was standing with Cordelia, who seemed to have been waiting anxiously, James Herondale and his parabatai, Matthew Fairchild, were also lingering nearby.

As they walked, the group looked to hazel-eyed boy anxiously. Thomas took Alastair’s left hand and raised it so the ring now gleamed in the witchlight.

The band of shadowhunters rushed to the newly affianced couple, there were now several voices speaking at once.

“Everyone is here,” Alastair said lovingly to Thomas. “Did you plan this?”

“I had some help,” Thomas responded, gesturing to Anna and Cordelia, he was beaming.

“When Thomas asked Mother and Father’s blessing, I told him that he had to let me help,” Cordelia stated as she moved away from her husband to hug Alastair.

“And he came to me for advice because none of the other thieves would have been helpful for this,” Anna stated.

“Excuse me-,” Matthew protested.

“That’s fair,” Christopher and James agreed.

“I’m just glad you didn’t figure anything out when I came back from Idris,” Thomas said.

“Wait-that’s why you went to Idris?” Alastair inquired.

“He came to ask me to come to see the two of you after he proposed,” Eugenia Lightwood stated, breaking her silence. She too was smiling with the same grin Thomas had on his face.

As the group continued to say things to each other and the couple, Thomas leaned down and kissed Alastair on the cheek, “I love you,” he muttered

“And I love you,” Alastair responded, this was truly the best night of his life.

#thomastair #thomstair #lightstairs #thomas lightwood #alastair carstairs #thomasxalastair #alastairxthomas #anna lightwood #christopher lightwood #james herondale #matthew fairchild #lucie herondale #cordelia carstairs #lightstairs fic

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incorrecttscquotes · 4 years

Conversation

Matthew: let's all list what we hate about Alastair, I’ll start.

Matthew: his rotten attitude

James: his stupid face

Christopher: he doesn’t like my experiments

Thomas: the way that the thought of him makes my heart race and keeps me up all night thinking about how hard he gets me

James:

Matthew:

Christopher:

Matthew: is there something you need to tell us?

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antisocial-af · 3 years

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Definitely did not just finish the ThomasxAlastair fic last night and already thinking/plotting a Valentine’s Day one for them... nope ... nope... maybe

#plotbunnyproblems #thomas x alastair #they live rent free

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keeperofthe13thcabin · 4 years

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i regret going here bc i havent read chain of gold and apparently, charles is gay and he was in a relationship with alastair?????????? and thomasXalastair is a potential pair???????? bITCH

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professionalfangirllife · 5 years

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The real question is: How much of a slow burn is ThomasXAlastair gonna be in The Last Hours trilogy?

#assuming that they are gonna be a ship in the trilogy #thomas lightwood #alastair carstairs #chain of gold #the last hours #tlh #the shadowhunter chronicles #tsc #cassandra clare #*my post

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queenhelenblackthorn · 6 years

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1, 5, 23?

1. What OTPs in your fandom(s) do you just not get?

ThomasxAlastair because as I’ve said before Thomas is pure and every time we’ve met Alastair he’s been an asshole, he needs to change first before I start shipping him with anyone, in fact I ship him with happiness and self love now those are things that boys needs

Also, GracexAnna I think for similar reasons that I don’t ship ThomasxAlastair. All we know about her is that she’s beautiful, loves her mother and brother, and is in on Tatiana’s plan to bring Jessie back to life. Plus, her meeting with Magnus in The Midnight Heir really disturbed me. I think Tatiana has been a negative influence on her and I’d like to see her grow from the person we’ve met so far. I’m not into shipping what could potentially be toxic relationships

5. Has fandom ever ruined a pairing for you?

A pairing that I ship.No, never

23. Unpopular character you love?

I suppose Kieran, I still see a lot of hate for him even though he’s done so much to correct the mistake he made.

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spookydru · 6 years

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do you ship thomasxalastair or matthewxlucie they seem like new ships to me and was wondering your take... love your blog by the way!

i mean… if they are happy and in a healthy relationship why not??? I personally like alastair and charles together romantically and would enjoy some thomas and alastair friendship because he seems like he needs that but if they end up together good for them. thomas is an angel and maybe he could help alastair figure his shit out. i used to ship matthew and lucie until i found out she supposedly marries jessie and I think jessie is a really intriguing character so i’d like to see that play out. after that i just always kind of saw matthew being in a m|m relationship. i feel like lucie and matthew could be really amazing supportive friends and he could be a great second older brother to her but if they end up together or at least liking each other, like i said before, good for them. thank you anon

#tlh #ask #ships #my opinion

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aratilightwood · 4 years

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#cassandra clare #the shadowhunter chronicles #the last hours #chain of gold #chain of iron #chain of thorns #the lightwoods #the carstairs #the fairchilds #thomas lightwood #alastair carstairs #thomas and alastair #thomasxalastair #thomastair #cordelia carstairs #matthew fairchild

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julemmaes · 4 years

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Another thomastair with "hate you? I could never hate you! I love you!" 💜

Hate You - October 9th

Alastair Carstairs x Thomas Lightwood

A/N: This is angsty, like really angsty. It’s also very short cause I felt like I wasn’t getting Thomas character at all with this one, hence, I’m a sad bitch right now and I really want to cry. I hope you like it tho so, enjoy!:)

Word count: 1,765

Thomas had just finished patrolling with Christopher when he arrived at the Institute to declare that there had been no suspicious sightings. Only a couple of demons that they had managed to put down easily and without too much trouble. They were talking about this and that and Thomas couldn't wait to finally take off his uniform and eat whatever the ladies in the kitchen had cooked.

He could already feel the water rushing over him, the icore peeling off his skin and the sponge scratching away every bit of dust. His dreams were immediately shattered when they heard someone screaming in the training room as they walked through the front door.

Christopher gave him a worried look before he started running down the hall. Thomas prayed with every fiber of his being that no one was hurt and that the screams were just cries of effort. He doubted very much that it was just grunts and cries when they heard what was clearly Cordelia's voice screaming her brother's name.

Thomas snapped, speeding up even more and slamming into one of the doors when he stood in the gym.

There were three bodies on the ground and Thomas could make out each one perfectly.

Matthew was sitting astride Alastair's lying body, hands tight around his neck. James was trying to pull up his parabatai, but it didn't seem to be doing anything. Cordelia moved before him, grabbing Matthew by the arm and pulling back.

The blond looked her in the face. His features twisted with anger and his bloodshot eyes told Thomas enough about his friend's condition.

Alastair seemed motionless under Matthew, hands around the other's wrists and eyes as wide open as his mouth in a silent scream. James was shouting that he had done enough, that it was enough, but the other one seemed numb.

Thomas moved quickly. He ran towards the group of his friends and jumped forward with his whole body, ousting Matthew from above Alastair, making him leave the grip on the Carstairs' neck.

In the action, Cordelia had been thrown backwards and now she was lying on the ground next to them, leaning on both elbows as she watched the scene, distraught.

Thomas looked down, he laying down over Matthew's body as he held both of his wrists with his hands as he struggled. Matthew's witty gaze frightened him more than it should have. What on earth had he been drinking?

He cast a quick glance at James, who had already got up and thought Thomas was more than capable of holding Matthew down. The friend approached Alastair, who was coughing bent forward, one hand on his throat and his cheeks ridged with tears.

Lucie was helping Cordelia standing.

"What happened?" whispered Thomas, unable to find the voice to speak.

Matthew snarled at him like a fierce beast, writhing and screaming to let him go. The grip on his wrists only became firmer.

Lucie spoke for the others, realizing that James was too shocked to answer, "We don't know. We were training, we had to start the next patrol as soon as you guys got back-" she froze when Alastair pushed James away.

"Don't touch me," he growled through his teeth. A grimace appeared on his face, probably because of the pain talking caused.

"Alastair..." called Thomas.

"Be quiet."

They heard quick steps and then Will and Gabriel appeared at the door. Both their faces contorted in an expression of pure horror.

Gabriel was the first to move, shooting towards James and Alastair still on the floor. Will took a second longer to react as he clutched the door between his fingers, looking for support. Lucie approached her father, clenching her fists.

"Dad-"

"What happened?" Will asked with the tone he took when he had to speak to the Council.

"It wasn't Matthew's fault," James said, getting up and walking towards him.

Matthew underneath Thomas wouldn't stop writhing, "Let go of me, damn it!"

Thomas was forced to let go of the grip on his wrists and stand up. James immediately took his place as he held Matthew to his chest and told him to calm down.

"Fairchild tried to kill me," Alastair said in a scratchy voice.

Gabriel gasped, helping the boy to stand. He turned to his son, looking for confirmation. Christopher would never lie. He raised his hands, shaking his head, looking as sorry and frightened as every other person in the room by his friend's ambiguous behavior, "We just got back, but Matthew was actually strangling Alastair."

James nodded, with dark eyes, "He was drinking, someone must have put something in his drink. I've never seen him so worked up," he confessed, holding his parabatai.

Will nodded, looking like an exact copy of his son, addressing Gabriel, "Go get Charlotte and Henry and," he cursed under his breath as he rubbed his hand over his face, "The Carstairs and all the others, too. Magnus Bane as well, please. Send Tessa to my office."

Gabriel nodded for confirmation and then took one last look at his nephews and his son as he left the room. Will stepped forward and put one hand on Matthew's shoulder, the other behind his neck, to hold his head still. He cast a quick glance at James over the boy's shoulder, and immediately returned to stare at Matthew.

Thomas looked to his left, where Cordelia was drawing a iratze on her brother's neck.

Alastair did not seem as upset as you would expect from someone who had just been suffocated.

"Matthew, it's Will. William Herondale." he said to him with a serious look, "Do you recognize me?" he asked.

The blond didn't even seem to hear him. "Behind you, holding you, is Jamie, James. My son. Your parabatai." to that, Matthew seemed to stop for a moment. His frantic movements and facial tics resumed shortly after.

Will pulled himself up, taking a deep breath through his nose and turned to his daughter, "Lucie, could I borrow your stele please?"

James stepped back, carrying his friend's back too, "What do you want to do?" he asked with a hint of concern in his voice.

"I just want to put him to sleep," Will replied, looking conflicted.

James shook his head, "I can do that."

His father looked him in the eye, really looked him in the eye, seeing all kinds of emotions. Emotions that he himself had experienced many times in his short life alongside their Uncle Jem. "I won't ask you to do it, Jamie."

There were no other words, just the head of the Institute silencing those inhuman sounds produced by their friend and his parabatai supporting him as he fell to the ground, helpless.

Afterwards, everything was very slow. The parents arrived immediately, Sona and Charlotte equally worried, and the children and friends who had been present during the attack were questioned by Will and Tessa.

Thomas and Christopher went to take a shower and were not let through the Institute wing where they were making things clear when they finished. Anna had arrived half an hour later and apparently had been assigned to distract them because she wouldn't stop asking them what they wanted to do to kill the time.

Thomas had kindly asked her if he could stay alone and she had granted his wishes, leaving him alone and taking Christopher with her.

Now he was standing on the steps of the entrance to the Institute and was torturing his hands, trying to understand what had just happened.

He heard the door open and close gently and then someone ran down the stairs.

He didn't have time to turn around to see who it was, Alastair was already down the stairs and was marching towards the exit, his hands hidden in his pockets and his head clutched between his shoulders.

He did not think twice before getting up and running after him.

There was no need to call him because he turned around as soon as he heard the sound of Thomas' boots on the gravel.

Alastair wrinkled his forehead, "What do you want?"

Thomas did not notice the irritated tone of voice, but he had to refrain from jerking when he saw the other one's wet cheeks, "How are you?"

"What do you think? Your friend tried to kill me," he said.

"What happened?" he asked sincerely curious to know his side of the story.

Alastair's eyes darkened and his expression grew grim, "What do you want, Lightwood?"

"I just want to know if you need anything." Thomas murmured, closing in.

He laughed sarcastically, "Why don't you stop pretending to care about me?" he asked as he walked away, "Why don't you go back to your perfect little house with your sisters and your cousins and your divine companionship and leave me alone?"

Thomas really didn't understand where all that anger towards him came from, but he thought he would be angry too if someone had just tried to choke him to death.

"I don't want to leave you alone right now. I think you need to be distracted and-"

"You really don't get it when someone wants to be alone, do you?" Alastair raved, raising his hands to the sky. Thomas did not answer.

The boy was looking at him with vaguely shiny eyes. He looked away, groaning, "Go back to the others. I know you hate me as much as any other person in this Institute," Alastair muttered.

Thomas' expression didn't change one bit and in the most serious tone he had ever used he said, "Hate you? I could never hate you... I love you."

Alastair did not even take the time to process what he had just been told, "You don't know what you are talking about."

"I love you, Alastair." repeated Thomas, closing in enough so that his face was just a few inches from his own.

Alastair looked him straight in the eye and Thomas saw not an ounce of emotion in those dark pools, "It doesn't work this way," he whispered, clenching his fists.

He turned around and started walking towards the exit, never looking back. Thomas didn't have the strength to follow him, to stop him. The rejection a pain strong enough to block his breath in his throat.

He didn't move from where he stood until James shouted his name from the Institute. Only then did he turn to his friend, and as if nothing had happened he walked to the infirmary, pretending that the conversation he had just had with Alastair had not utterly shattered him.

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