#thotty I love you obviously which is why I’m mean to you

[cal-puddies]

remember when we couldn’t take the heat || ashton irwin

a lovely anon requested another trope fic for @kindahoping4forever​ and i to tag team, so we did.

As always Crystal is amazing and please share love with her as well (i do share any comments you all leave with her as well!) With her help I really think we were able to take this to next level, so it would not be this good without her! I hope you all love it!

You check your bag one last time before zipping it shut. You check your phone, seeing you still had about an hour before Michael and Crystal picked you up on their way to the airport. 

A week long getaway at an all inclusive resort with five of your best friends (and one last minute addition of a new significant other) was exactly what you needed. 

You thanked your lucky stars every night that Kay Kay was too busy, meaning Ashton had decided not to go. The two of you had never gotten along and you don't think you'd ever be able to relax if he was there.

So you're more than disappointed to see him strolling up to the gate. The second you spot him, you groan to Sierra, “You guys promised me he wouldn’t be here.”

She frowns and rushes over to have a quick sidebar with Luke. She returns, super apologetic and quickly explains that Ashton's relationship had recently blown up again and that he had texted Luke last night some vague questions about the trip but they had no idea that meant he intended to tag along.

“Well. He better not be next to me," you pout, crossing your arms.

But of course he is, because why not start off your relaxing vacation this way? And instead of seeming heartbroken about his break up, he’s flirting with all the flight attendants and every girl in line around him, until he sees he’s sitting next to you. He plops in the seat and immediately scrunches his face up. 

“There’s gotta be another seat,” he grumbles, flagging down a flight attendant who assures him it's a full flight and there is in fact not a single other seat available. 

“You’ve gotta be kidding me," Ash murmurs after the flight attendant walks away. 

“Not like this is my dream flight either, buddy,” you groan.

Sensing the already mounting tension, Luke looks across the aisle with an apologetic smile to you and mouths ‘Sorry.'

Ashton immediately pulls out headphones and makes a big show out of ignoring you. He pulls his leather jacket off, accidentally elbowing your shoulder and smacking the sleeve in your face. 

“What the fuck, Irwin?" You seethe. 

He glares at you and shrugs, going back to his music. 

Who the fuck wears a leather jacket to a fucking beach getaway? Could he look any less practical? You wonder briefly if he even brought anything suitable for the weather before you realize you shouldn’t give a single fuck about what’s in his bag.

You successfully ignore each other through the rest of boarding and take-off. At the earliest possible opportunity you order a drink and he comments, "A little early, don't you think?" You search your mind for a better retort than "Not when I'm sitting next to you, asshole" but then you realize it doesn't matter what you say because he didn't even bother to take off his headphones to make his remark.

To compound the dirty look you receive from him, Luke and Sierra order a drink for you as well. You gratefully chug both before ordering another, grumbling under your breath that this flight could not be over soon enough. 

Ashton makes nice with the flight attendant and even takes his headphones off to flirt with her a bit. You roll your eyes at whatever bullshit lines he's feeding her and think now would be the perfect time to doze off for a cat nap if his voice wasn't so fucking loud.

You huff as she walks away, “Can you keep it down loudmouth?” You adjust your cardigan against the side of the plane and close the window shade, crossing your arms over your chest, leaning your head against the balled up fabric. 

“I’d like to be able to see the sun," Ashton says, putting his sunglasses on and flipping the shade up. 

You grit your teeth, “What’s the fuckin point if you put the sunglasses on?” 

“Does it inconvenience you?” He asks, looking at your face and finding you must agree. “Then that’s the fuckin point, Princess.”

Your eyes narrow as you stare at him in disbelief, but you manage to keep yourself from selecting one of the literal hundreds of insulting comebacks you have running through your mind. 

Guys like Ashton live off of getting reactions from people and the best way you could stick it to him is to simply not give him one.

You lean back in your seat and shake out your sweater, draping the sleeve over your face to create a makeshift eye shade for your nap. He scoffs at your actions, clearly hoping you'll take the bait and when you don't, you feel his glare on you for several beats before he pulls out his phone to find another way to entertain himself.

You’re able to ignore him for the rest of the flight, and you feel accomplished knowing it's driving him nuts that you’re no longer reacting to him. 

You wait patiently to get off the plane, getting more than mildly annoyed at Ashton’s impatience. But you try not to say anything. He gets out of the row and you let Sierra and then Luke out across the aisle. “You two can no longer be trusted,” you jab at Luke. 

“I’m sorry, bub,” Luke gives you an apologetic smile. “I didn’t know he would really come and I wouldn’t have wanted you to miss this.” He tries to explain with a pout but you just roll your eyes at the giant man in front of you.

You manage to claim your baggage without incident and you narrowly avoid the misfortune of having to sit next to Ash on the shuttle to the resort. Luke, obviously trying to win back your favor, offers to let you sit with Sierra and he sits in the open seat next to Ashton.

“Just don’t let him get to you,” Sierra says. “We’re still gonna have fun and there’s enough of us that you shouldn’t have to interact.”

Her reassurance helps soothe your nerves for the time being. 

When you arrive at the resort, everyone mingles and chatters excitedly in the lobby while Luke and Sierra check your party in. Calum and his girlfriend keep Ash occupied and away from you and you couldn't be more grateful, taking the opportunity to make small talk with Michael and Crystal. 

Check-in is taking a lot longer than it should and you crane your neck to try and see the front desk from where you're at. You happen to catch Sierra's gaze from across the room and she offers you a forced smile before she quickly looks away. Whatever's happening, it can't be good and you have a sneaking suspicion it has to do with the last minute addition to your trip.

When Sierra and Luke come back, they both refuse to make eye contact with you, making you even more suspicious. They hand out key cards to the other two couples and then both take a deep breath and look between you and Ash. 

“What?” You ask point blank. 

Luke purses his lips together, “They’re booked, they don’t have a room for Ash... but... your suite has a couch...” 

“You’ve actually gotta be kidding me,” you quip. 

“We won’t even be in the rooms except to sleep, it’ll be fine babe!” Sierra tries to convince you. 

You groan, not even bothering to look at Ashton. “Fine.” You grit your teeth.

Ashton is obviously not thrilled with this arrangement either and you see him pull Luke aside, animatedly waving his hands as he complains. 

You take the opportunity to head up to the room first in hopes of marking your territory: claiming the good drawers, the prime counter space in the bathroom. He needs to know you're doing him a favor by letting him stay in your room.

Ash comes in while you’re setting up in the bathroom and he immediately tries to stake claim on the bed. He’s flung himself across it when you come out of the bathroom. 

“Keep dreaming, Irwin.”

“I got here first,” he states, tucking his arms behind his head with a smug look on his face.

You push his boot-clad feet off the bed with a huff. "Yes, you got here to MY bed first," you say with exaggerated enunciation. "MY bed in MY room. Since it was booked for ME. Since I was INVITED on this trip."

“I was invited too,” he reminds you, standing up, ready to argue. 

“But you declined! And reinvited yourself literally last minute. If you had agreed when you were originally asked, we wouldn’t be sharing a fucking room," you say with exasperation.

"It worked out though," he shrugs dismissively. 

You feel like your eyes are about to pop out of your head as you glare at him. "Does this seem like things working out to you?!"

“Honestly yes. We’ve both got a place to stay, I get to be here with my brothers... besides... Rock Star here, need I remind you, I don’t sleep on couches,” he starts. 

“Blow me with that bullshit,” you quip. “This trip was supposed to be relaxing and now I can’t get laid because I can’t bring anyone back here... AND I have to see you literally first thing in the morning... AND you’re trying to take my bed... it’s the couch for you, Irwin. I don’t give a fuck who you think you are. And I think your BROTHERS would back me up on this," you say mockingly.

“I don’t know why you have to be such a bitch about this. And of course Luke will back you up, he’d hate for Sierra to be mad at him,” he rolls his eyes. 

“I think he’d hate to know what a fucking diva you’re trying to be,” you sneer. “Why can’t you just go crash on one of their couches?”

"Like I said, I'm not trying to sleep on anyone's couch, sweetheart," he explains, the condescension dripping off of his words. "Plus, there's no way I'm about to be anyone's third wheel, something you clearly have no problem with."

You take a beat, pinching the bridge of your nose and taking two deep breaths. “Hate to break it to you Rock Star, but you ARE a third wheel on this trip. I just wanted a vacation with friends... but, as per usual your thotty ass comes along and turns it into my own personal hell. I paid for this room, so you can find yourself on the couch, freeloader.”

He gives a single snort in response which honestly infuriates you more than if he had come back at you with some long-winded monologue. He drags his suitcase to the couch and busies himself with unpacking, slamming drawers and grumbling every step of the way. You can't even be happy about winning the bed argument because you're so worked up now you can hear your heart pounding in your ears.

You grab your phone and angrily text Luke and Sierra, “Does 5sos really need a drummer? Can he be replaced? Because the current one is about to be dead.”

Luke responds with the crying laughing emoji which has you about to launch your phone across the room. Sierra is typing for quite a bit but eventually just ends up sending a simple "Hang in there sweetie, it'll be worth it tomorrow!"

You call room service to order a bottle of vodka, it’s the only way you’ll be able to deal with him. You hear Calum in the room and make an appearance, plastering on a fake smile. He gestures to his girl, “We were just gonna go check out the resort, wanted to see if you guys wanted to come?” 

“I’ll pass thanks, I just ordered some room service. But Ash, you should absolutely go,” you encourage, gritting your teeth. 

“Gladly... who goes on vacation to sit in their room anyway?” He quips.

Rather than fight in front of Cal, you give the group a sickly sweet "Have fun!" and breathe a sigh of relief when they shuffle out the door.

You take the chance to relax, changing out of your plane outfit and into something more appropriate for the more tropical setting, you open the balcony doors and wander out onto it. It really couldn’t be prettier. You’re drawn out by a knock on the door and you think it must be room service, but it’s Luke, Sierra, Michael and Crystal. Luke is holding your bottle of vodka. 

“Had it charged to our room,” he says, thrusting it toward you. “We wanna go exploring. But let’s all get a drink first.” He smiles, “Save this for later.” 

“Ash still here?” Crystal asks, peering into the room. 

“He went with Cal... thank god,” you grumble. You set the vodka on the bedside table and grab your bag and sunglasses to head out with them.

One drink with the group becomes two which becomes decidedly more than two and they convince you to explore with them. By the time you get back to the room, Ashton has returned and is lounging on the couch as if he hasn't a care in the world. "Hey roomie," he dryly greets you without looking up from his phone.

“Hey asshole,” you slur, followed by a hiccup. You walk toward the bed and kick your shoes off, and very quickly follow it up with peeling your top off. “Why’s it s’hot?” You hiccup again and land haphazardly on the bed.

"AC wasn't acting right so I called the front desk and they said someone could look at it tomorrow," he explains noncommittally. "I, however, had the decency to leave my clothes on because I didn't want to make you uncomfortable." 

You scoff at his implication. Or you mean to, at least. Despite the climate of the room, the events of the day combined with your intoxicated state has you drifting off before you know it. As you fade into unconsciousness, you think you hear Ash snipe in the distance, "If you barf on the bed during the night, I'm not helping you clean that shit up."

You make a mocking tone at him, you think. And you’re out. 

After an evening of drinking, you wake up at 3 AM, needing the bathroom. You immediately notice you’re somehow tucked in bed, even though you’re 90% sure you passed out halfway on it. Your shorts are unbuttoned but not off and all the lights in the bedroom are off. When you make your way to the bathroom, you peek over at Ashton on the couch and he’s sprawled on his stomach, only in his boxer briefs. It’s then you realize it’s still ungodly hot in the suite. You shut the bathroom door, turn on the light and take a quick look at yourself in the mirror before deciding you need to wash your face before going back to bed.

You're in no rush as you use the toilet, wash your face and brush your teeth. It's been an exhausting day and you could use the alone time. You're careful to shut off the light before you open the door and start to tiptoe your way back to bed. 

You nearly jump out of your skin when a gruff voice barks at you, "Think you could make any more noise in there, princess?" You're livid but you say nothing and lay back down.

When you wake up in the morning, you’ve managed to almost completely forget about sharing your room with Ash. So it’s a rude awakening when you find him emerging from the bathroom with a towel slung low on his hips, water dripping from his hair, muscles rippling as he starts digging through his drawers.

“Oh... the princess has decided to grace us,” he rolls his eyes, seeing you’re awake. “You’ve got like 45 minutes till we all do breakfast and judging by the way your phone has been buzzing, someone thinks I killed you last night.” 

You groan and wipe your hand over your face, “More like making sure I didn’t kill you.”

As you reach for your phone on the nightstand, you realize the sheets are sticking to your skin which is covered in sweat. "Did the front desk say what time they were coming to fix the air? And Jesus, as if this place wasn't humid enough, why exactly did you need to take the world's steamiest shower?"

“Gotta relax these muscles after sleeping on the world's most uncomfortable couch, sweetheart,” he retorts. “And no, I was not given an ETA but I’m sure when we go down for breakfast you can complain again. Maybe if you do it, it’ll get fixed faster,” he snarks. 

You roll your eyes and grab something to wear from your drawers, slamming the bathroom door behind you.

You take a cold shower, partly to wake you up and partly to cool you down (and mostly because Ash definitely used all the hot water on purpose). Even without creating steam, the bathroom is sweltering so as soon as you get dressed, you crack the door open in hopes of maintaining some airflow. You throw your hair in a ponytail and are applying a basic face of makeup when you feel Ash's eyes boring into you. 

You look behind you through the mirror and see him propped up against the door frame, observing. "We're just going to breakfast, not the royal ball, Princess. You don't need all that shit."

“Why’s it any of your business?” You ask, staring at him in the mirror. You wait a beat and then work on finishing your makeup, topping off with mascara and lip gloss.

"Just an observation," he begins but is cut off by a knock at the front door. He leaves to answer and you take a few deep breaths to relax yourself. All you have to do is get down to breakfast and then you can enjoy the  company of the people you actually came on this trip to spend time with. You hear Ash loudly joking with someone and you exit the bathroom hoping to see a handyman on the receiving end of his banter, but it's just Luke and Sierra.

Sierra smiles at you, “Hey beautiful, how’d you sleep?” She asks. 

“I think the only reason I slept so well is because I drank so much. It’s fuckin hot in here.” 

“It’s bad in our room too,” Luke shares. “We tried to call maintenance but no ETA on when they’ll be up, sounded like we weren’t the only ones suffering.” He shrugs.

Sierra notes your look of concern and interjects, "But we've got a ton of fun shit planned for the day so we won't be in our rooms too much anyways and hopefully it'll all be sorted when we get back!"

Luckily you were able to get some much needed space from Ashton during breakfast. You sat at opposite ends of the table and Sierra and Crystal did their best to keep your mind off of things. 

"Sorry I'm being such a bitch, you guys," you confess during a trip to the ladies' room. "I don't want you to feel like you have to baby-sit me the whole time, you're supposed to be enjoying the time off you have with your guys."

"Babe, we get it," Crystal reassures you. "It's not like this thing with you and Ash is anything new, we're all used to having to navigate it."

"And it's fine, sometimes people just don't get along," Sierra chimes in. "You're not obligated to like all of your friends' friends. We’re all adults, we can handle it."

After breakfast you do a few touristy things and a little bit of shopping before going back to the resort to prep for some much needed beach time. 

Ash scoffs as you sort through bikinis, “How many of those fuckin things did you need to bring? Are you going to be ready anytime soon?” 

“It’s not like you’re actually waiting for me anyway,” you murmur, otherwise ignoring him. 

But he’s not ignoring you, he’s watching your body move through the space, clad only in the bikini you selected. And it almost makes him more annoyed the way you definitely seem to be so confident in it. “Was that your best one?” He snarks.

"Sorry that some of us are actually into making an effort," you shrug. "And why is it your new favorite hobby to just stand there and watch me get ready, don't you have anything better to do?" 

You shove past him in the doorway to fetch your beach bag out of the closet. The room's swampy temperature has not improved and you hate that you can feel the transfer of sweat from his skin to yours when you brush up against him.

“I was just trying to be polite and wait for you to head down but I didn’t realize it'd be such an ordeal,” he grumbles, slipping his sandals on. “Fucking ridiculous,” he mumbles to himself. 

“No one asked you to wait, just fuckin go, Irwin. I don’t need an escort,” you exclaim, pulling on a pair of shorts. 

“An escort is probably the only way you’d get laid with that attitude,” he gruffs, slamming the hotel room door behind him.

You ball your fists up in rage and whip a sandal towards the door. It hits with a satisfying smack and you can't help but wish you had tossed it 15 seconds earlier so that noise would've come from the back of Ashton's head.  You walk over to retrieve your shoe and are startled by the knock at the door. 

You open it to find Cal with a half-amused, half-concerned expression on his face and his girlfriend looking bewildered. Their relationship was new and this was really the first she had experienced your dynamic with Ash in all of its dysfunctional glory. 

"You doing alright?" He inquires, trying to peek inside the room behind you. 

"I'm just ready to lay in the sun and not think about anything,” you say, grabbing your bag off the counter behind you and closing the door. 

Turns out the sunshine and drinks was exactly what you needed to calm down and within an hour you were laughing and playing in the water with everyone, though you had to watch Ashton flirt with everything that moved, even encouraging them to call him “Daddy, because all his friends do.”

As much fun as you're having, you can't help but notice the heat of the day doesn't seem to be passing. Tired from being in the sun, everyone agrees to head back to their respective rooms for a short rest before meeting back up for a late dinner. You know even Ashton must be spent when the hot wind starts blowing your beach hat off your head and he retrieves it and returns it to you without comment.

“D’you wanna shower first?” He asks, when the two of you return to the room. “Think you got some extra sun,” he mentions. “I can put aloe on if you need.” 

“First shower would be great, thanks,” you yawn. “You'll probably need some aloe on your neck and shoulders. I have some if you didn’t bring any,” you offer and then head for the bathroom.

You take your brief shower and come out in just a towel. You grab the aloe, gently toss it to Ash and he makes quick work, lightly coating your red skin in the gel. 

“Thanks,” you murmur. 

“Don’t mention it,” he says, capping it and heading for his own shower.

It doesn't hit you how weird it was to have a pleasant interaction with Ash until after you're dressed. You're rooting around in the suite's fridge for cold water and without thinking, you place two on the counter. You stare at the bottles for a beat, almost as if they appeared there on their own.

"One of those for me?" Ash's voice asks from behind you, startling you out of your confusion.

"I... guess so?" You answer with a shrug, turning to hand him the beverage. He's shirtless and the pair of athletic shorts he's chosen for his post-shower attire hang low on his hips and you wonder why you've made note of that.

“Thanks?” He replies, equally confused. “Wanna watch some tv?” He asks. 

“Sure,” you shrug. He clears his stuff off the couch and you sit at opposite ends. You doze off before you even decide on what to watch.

You awaken to the sound of both your and Ash's phones vibrating on the coffee table. You're disoriented but cognizant enough to realize you must have slept through the time you agreed to meet for dinner.

“Oh shit,” you murmur, wiping the sleep from your eyes. You grab your phone and look at the texts and quickly shoot off a reply.

-fell asleep, be down soon-

You gently shake Ash, “Hey they’re waiting on us, we fell asleep.” You wait to see him open his eyes and then you flit off to change into a sundress. “Why is it so hot? It must be cooler outside by now.” 

“Open the balcony door,” Ash sleepily replies, peeling himself off the couch. He quickly changes into black jeans and a short sleeve button down. 

You throw on sandals and mascara and are ready, quickly, which he appreciates.

Some of your friends trade surprised looks when they see you two peacefully arriving together but none of them comment on it. 

You join the group and you all walk together to the restaurant you agreed on for dinner, at the far end of the resort. 

Since you and Ash delayed things slightly, the place is crowded and you have to wait by the bar while the staff finds seating to accommodate your large party. Ash volunteers to order drinks for everyone while you wait and you can't decide if it's endearing or annoying that he brings you a vodka soda without you having to tell him what you want.

Once you’re seated, Luke and Sierra voluntarily put space between you and Ashton but he still ends up across from you. You don't mind his presence as much as you thought you would. 

The air conditioning appears to be working on this side of the resort, the cold drinks are flowing and you feel yourself truly relax for the first time since you arrived. You even catch yourself laughing at a couple of playfully snarky comments Ash tosses at Luke's expense.

You reach across the table to grab the pitcher of water as you’re all winding down and your arm knocks Cal’s drink, spilling it all over him and Ash. Ash blows his top, going out of his way to make a scene. Everyone tries to move past it but you know all the headway you two had made going into tonight was probably ruined as he refused to let it go, continuing to groan about his wet shirt and jeans.

"If the air hasn't been fixed, our room is probably so hot it'll dry the second we walk in," you joke, trying to lighten the mood. 

"Is this fucking funny to you?" He sneers, forcefully tossing his napkin on to the table. 

“It is kind of funny, Ash,” Cal says, trying to calm the situation down. 

“I said I was sorry,” you shrug. “It’s not like I meant to.” 

“Could’ve fooled me,” he snarls, storming off to the bathroom.

Defeat settles into your features, upset from the interaction, being tired and the ungodly heat you knew you were about to face. “I’m gonna head up to bed,” you announce, kissing Sierra and Crystal on the cheek. You wave at the rest of the group while Luke stands to give you a hug. 

You hear Cal’s girlfriend, “That was a little harsh of him.” 

“It’s just the way they’ve always been,” he explains quietly.

When you pass by him, Michael stops you and offers to walk you back since it's dark out and a bit of a journey to where your rooms are but you wave him off, you're looking forward to being alone. 

Heading out of the restaurant, you cross paths with Ash and his eyes shoot daggers at you but he says nothing. As you push through the door, you hear him loudly complain to nobody in particular, "She gets to run off and act like this is MY fault again?"

You ignore it, not wanting to give him the satisfaction of a reaction. 

Once you get back, you change and pour yourself a vodka soda. The room is still unbearably hot so you lay across the bed checking your phone, and take advantage of the breeze coming through the balcony door.

About 20 minutes later, you're in the bathroom washing your face when you hear the front door slam and Ash barges into the suite like a tornado; he cranks the TV for no apparent reason, bangs around in the fridge and slams some drawers with little regard for who or what he disturbs. You give a silent thanks for the fact that the surrounding rooms all belong to your friends so you don't have to feel embarrassment on top of everything else. 

You brace yourself for whatever you're going to encounter on the other side of the door and turn the knob. You immediately stumble on Ash's still damp clothes, which he evidently stripped off as soon as he walked in the room. You roll your eyes but as an act of good faith, pick them up and hang them over the side of the bathtub to dry. You exit the bathroom once more and find him standing in front of the balcony, clad only in his boxer briefs. "How is it still so goddamn hot in here?" He says, exasperated.

“I don’t think they even came to look at the AC,” you observe. “I really am sorry about the drink, Ash,” you murmur at his back. You’re having a hard time tearing your eyes away from his back and thick arms. Your eyes take in the tattoo on the back of his neck. You let out an audible sigh, accidentally. 

“Don’t mention it,” he says looking back at you, face red, indicating he was still kind of heated.

"It's just... we had a pretty nice time this afternoon and I was kind of starting to enjoy the peace," you start. 

"You know, that's one of the things I've never liked about you?" He says with a calmness that betrays the harshness of his remark. "You're one of those people who can't STAND not being liked by everyone. I feel bad for you." His brow furrows as if in deep thought.

“I don’t need everyone to like me, I just need to know what the fuck I’ve ever done to you, you fuckin fake deep thot. You know everyone sees right through your bullshit? Your fans and your friends, just humor you.”

"You seem to put a lot of stock in what other people think, is all I meant," he says, seemingly unaffected by your words. "And you especially seem to pay a lot of fuckin attention to what people think about me."

“I actually couldn’t give a fuck less what people think about you, but when you parade around like some sort of imbecile, having random people call you ‘daddy’ because wow what a fuckin turn on - girls with daddy issues- it’s fuckin ridiculous, Ashton. You walk around here acting like I have the holier than thou attitude but it’s you thinking you’re some big shot because you have a few gold records. That doesn’t mean shit in Hollywood, every third fucking barista has a gold record and then flopped. Congrats you’re well on your way to being a 4th rate barista, I’m sure your father is so proud.” 

Even as it left your mouth, you knew the dad line was too far.

You stare at each other for what feels like an eternity, your words hanging in the air. His jaw twitches but doesn't clench. You briefly think to apologize but part of you is still stunned by what you just said and part of you doesn't want to prove his point about caring what he thinks. He considers your statement for a beat more and then finally, he chuckles darkly. He stalks past you without a word and slams the bathroom door.

You stalk toward the bed and grab a pillow to scream into. It’s barely been a full 24 hours and you’re convinced you’ll have the drummer of 5sos dead within another 24. You’re pissed at him for being cocky and hot... wait, what the fuck? You’re pissed at your friends for putting you in this situation. 

You forgo the glass and grab the bottle of vodka, setting up on the balcony because at least it’s cooler than the room, and you seethe.

You instinctively start to text Sierra to vent about the incident but ultimately decide you and Ash have done enough damage to everyone's morale for the night. You settle for absentmindedly playing a game on your phone to take your mind off things. You eventually hear Ashton back in the room but you promise yourself you're not going to be the one to apologize first. He has to come to you. And it’s just easier if the two of you let it cool for a minute. 

He comes out to the balcony, watching you shotgun straight from the bottle. He drags a chair to the other side of the balcony. “I know you know that was a cunty thing to say,” he says quietly. “You’ve definitely got a way with insults though.” 

You don’t respond because you don’t know how, but you exchange a glance in acknowledgment.

You both sit in silence and while the tension between you is thick, you're still able to find comfort in the relatively cool night air and the unspoken truce. You zone out, questioning if this trip is even remotely salvageable and how to proceed with Ashton from here. After a while, you look down at your phone and notice the time, you've been out here longer than you thought. You glance over at Ash, who's scrawling away in some sort of journal, with those goddamn headphones on again.

You stumble over to him and tap what your brain notes is an unreasonable large shoulder, "Hey,  's late."

“Careful, Princess,” he says, pulling his headphones off and resting them on his neck, he checks his phone for the time. “Yeah, it is. Let’s get you to bed.” He breathes, standing quicker than you thought any person should. 

He holds your arm, walking you to the bed. You know you’re drunk but you can’t help the words that spill from your lips, “Should stay in tha bed.” You don’t let him go as he gently pulls from your grasp. 

“You're drunk and we’re both likely to be pissed in the morning. I’ll get you a water,” he mentions, walking away. 

You do everything in your power to stay awake for the 90 seconds he’s away and you latch back onto his larger than normal forearm when he comes back. “Don’t leave me alone,” you whimper.

His gaze focuses on your hand on his arm and then shifts to your face, which he searches carefully. "You're not serious," he declares.

"Bed's closer t’window, can leave it open." You sit up and take a sip from the water he sat on the nightstand. "You'll be more comfortable. No big deal." You shrug and lay back down as if this offer was the most casual conversation you've ever had. To be honest, it probably was one of the more casual conversations the two of you had ever shared. 

“I’m not staying because you asked,” he clarifies. “I’m staying because that breeze can’t be beat.” 

Ash climbs in the bed in just his underwear and he scoffs a little when you strip off your shorts and tank top, leaving you in a sports bra and panties for bed. “Why are you constantly taking your clothes off in front of me? Sobriety might do you some favors,” he grumbles, getting comfortable on the other side of the bed.

"Doing you a favor by letting you see my bangin' bod," you drunkenly giggle. "And please, I've seen your naked torso more times on this trip than I've seen my own." You blow a raspberry that goes on for a little longer than you intended, given your inebriated state.

“Well you definitely take care of yourself.” He agrees, ignoring your childish behavior. 

You plant a pillow between the two of you and turn off the lamp, “Night ‘Shton.” You murmur, cuddling into the bed. 

“Night.” He stares at your back in the dark for a while. Not understanding this new feeling creeping up, or caring why the hell you look so good. It’s not the first time he’s seen you like this, but it is the first time he’s wanted your attention.

You wake up a few hours later, dying of thirst. You spot the water on your nightstand and lunge for it a little too quickly and your head starts to spin. As you gulp it down, you remember you invited Ashton to stay with you and your eyes dart to the other side of the bed. The moonlight pouring in from the open balcony shines on his near naked form and it's a sight to behold. You look him up and down, though you're not sure why. You think to yourself how much easier it is to find him attractive when he's not speaking.

You admire him for as long as your drunk brain can handle, before drunkenly texting what you think is just Sierra -he’s pretty when he’s quiet- and you barely put your phone face down on the table before passing back out. 

Your drunk brain processes your slight attraction and the fact that you begged for him to stay better than you’d ever let your sober brain and it creates quite the dirty dream about the man sleeping next to you. Your brain reminds you just how much of a man he is and how easily he’d toss you around. 

You’re awoken by your own moan and open your eyes to see Ashton staring at you from the next pillow, eyebrow cocked.

"Sleep well, princess?" He smirks.

You shove your pillow over your face, half out of embarrassment, half out of necessity because the sun shining into the room is BRIGHT and your head is pounding. "It's too early and I'm too hungover for you to use that tone of voice with me, Irwin."

“Not very often I have girls moaning in bed before I’ve even touched them,” he says, sounding bemused. 

You groan and reach for your phone, closing one eye and turning down the brightness before unlocking it. You realize the text you thought you sent to Sierra also had Luke, Michael and Crystal on it. Luke commented about you getting soft for Ashton, which vaguely enrages you around your headache. 

“Not like I’m moaning for you,” you quip, slowly moving toward the bathroom. 

Ash is still laying on the bed when you return. “Still fuckin hot,” he grumbles. 

Your phone buzzes and you look at it, Luke had forwarded a text from the hotel, - heat warning in place, advising everyone stays inside, hydrated and cooled.-

You throw yourself back on the bed in disbelief. "This can't be happening."

Ash turns on his side to face you, a little closer than you'd like both because of the heat and because of the dream you had. "What's the matter, princess?" He says with a teasing lilt to his voice.

"Stop calling me princess," you grumble and shove your phone in his face.

“Yeah, I already saw. Don’t worry I plan to escape this room as soon as humanly possible,” he admits. “Just waiting for Cal to get his lazy ass up.” 

“Are you ever just like... nice to anyone?” You shove your face back in the pillow. The sun really is too bright and you can’t take it.

"Are you ever just like... not super judgmental?" He mocks, getting out of bed and pulling the curtains shut for you. "I've been pretty nice the past couple nights putting your drunk ass to bed. You thought I was nice enough when you begged me to sleep in your bed."

“I didn’t beg for anything from you. And I’m more than capable of putting my own drunk ass to bed... you just think you’re better than everyone because you got sober when you realized you couldn’t handle your alcohol. Seriously, if the worst fuckin thing I’ve done is offer you a spot In my bed where it’s more comfortable then that’s worlds better than the damage and destruction you’ve undoubtedly caused in your drunk state,” you spew.

"You're unfuckingbelievable, you know that?" He shakes his head. "There's no WAY anything I've ever said to you has warranted some of the shit you've said to me recently. You always gotta take it too far, always gotta get personal. And I’M supposed to be the asshole?"

“Just shut the fuck up, Ash... I can’t. I’m done. I don’t have the energy. This trip was supposed to be relaxing.” You groan, plopping the pillow over your head.

"Cool. Good talk," he says dismissively and heads for the shower.

You stick your middle finger up in the direction he headed off. You sigh loudly when you hear the water turn on. “What the fuck happened,” you ask yourself, exasperated, thinking over the last couple days and how the day before you and Ash had been chill for at least a few hours. “I just need to shut my fucking mouth,” you decide. “The only way to salvage this trip now.”

You must have dozed off again because the next thing you know Ashton is standing over you -shirtless in those athletic shorts again, goddammit- and poking at you with his room keycard. "The fuck?" You say with only moderate interest.

"Oh good, you're up," he jokes. God, he's insufferable. "Cal and I went downstairs and they've closed the restaurant dining rooms but they're still offering room service. I need to know if you want breakfast."

“Yeah... pancakes.” You wave him off. “..Bacon and hash browns...” You murmur out, going back to sleep. 

A short while later you wake to the smell of maple syrup. You drag yourself out of bed and follow the scent to where Ash is sat on the couch, already eating, full breakfast spread out on the coffee table. "Gee thanks for letting me know the food was here," you snipe without thinking. Dammit. You've already forgotten your plan to keep your mouth shut.

Luckily, as you've learned is the norm, he's preoccupied with something on his phone. "Uh-huh," is the only response you get.

You grab your plate and get a water out of the fridge and then sit at the end of the coffee table furthest from Ashton. 

“I hope it cools down some tomorrow,” You mumble, mouth full of food. 

“What was that? Speak up princess,” he says pointedly to you. 

“I just said I hope it cools off. So we can go back to the beach tomorrow,” you shrug, digging into your food.

"You mean we all didn't fly all the way over here to sit in our hotel rooms with broken AC?" He mocks for no apparent reason.

You roll your eyes but keep your mouth shut, not looking to give him the benefit of another snarky comeback.  You eat as much of your plate as you can manage before heading off to shower. To your slight dismay, he’s still sitting on the couch on his phone when you get done. 

“Ash.” You mention quietly, his head tilts up but his eyes don’t leave his phone. “Do you think you could do the aloe again?” 

His eyes snap to you and he stares for a minute before nodding. “Uh... yeah,” he agrees. 

You grab the bottle and sit next to him as he does your back and your shoulders. “Sorry I always take it too far,” you apologize.

He breathes out forcefully and you can feel it on your neck. It gives you goosebumps. He seems to be choosing his words carefully before landing on "Just seems like you don't think about some of the stuff you spit out in anger." His hands stop working over your skin. "I talk shit and yeah I get you think I'm an asshole, but I have never nor would I ever say anything to you as disrespectful as some of the things you've said to me," he says with a quiet firmness.

You nod, because you know he’s right and you chew on the inside of your cheek for a moment, thinking carefully on your own words. 

“I know. I don’t have an excuse. You get under my skin and it’s always guards up with you. Sometimes we’ll be just fine and then you’ll turn on a dime, like last night at dinner. Easier to push you away and keep you at arms length than to let my guard down because I don’t know when you’re gonna snap.”

"Right because this continues to be exclusively my fault," he says condescendingly and sits back on the couch.

You take a few deep breaths and then get up, leaving him to sit while you go change. 

You come back out, sports bra and lounge shorts and look at him. 

“I’m just trying to be nice. It’s my fault too, I know that. I was explaining why I get that way. I know I’m like that, and I’m working on it. I was just trying to clue you in on a trigger.” You sigh and then head back to the bed, collapsing on it.

He bounds over to you, not ready to let this go. "Sorry to break this deluded narrative you've constructed, princess, but 'I'm only a bitch because you make me one' isn't a trigger, it's an excuse and a weak one at that." 

His face is flushing and his chest is bright red. You know he's getting heated and you know it's not just the tropical climate of the room. 

"You've been like this with me from the second you met me, it's like you never had any intention of liking me and fuck getting to know me." He raises his voice, "If I'm such a shitty person then why are literally all of your friends friends with me? You ever think about that, sweetheart?"

“Well that's a two way street, Irwin,” you huff out. “You’ve never tried to get to know me either. So before you come over here acting like you’re any better than me, remember when you point a fucking finger there’s three pointing back at you.”

You stand to square off with him, like the fight is going to get physical. You know better than to think Ash would lay a hand on you but you’re prepared for anything in this moment. The blood is rushing in your ears again.

"I never said you were a shitty person," he says lowly, stepping closer to you. "I just said you were a judgemental, inconsiderate hypocrite and I don't like you."

“I’ve never said you were a shitty person either, I just think you’re an asshole with entitlement issues that definitely needs to take a look in a mirror when slinging his insults,” you say quietly, also stepping closer to him.

"Sounds like we have a lot more in common than we realize then," he challenges, staring you down with fire in his eyes.

“Seems like if either of us had taken even five minutes to consider the other, then maybe this all could have been avoided.” You don’t waiver, standing your ground. “And maybe, we could have spared our friends.”

It seems like he's about to move somehow even closer to you but the sound of his phone buzzing on the coffee table cuts through the tense air. "Finally something we agree on," he mutters under his breath as he stomps away to check it.

You let out the breath you didn’t know you were holding. You realize it was in anticipation but you don’t know what you were waiting for.  

You collapse back on the bed, grabbing for your phone. You make a mental note of how his phone is more important than any person in front of him and you slink back into your normal feelings about him.

A couple hours pass of you dutifully ignoring each other with your phones. But the heat is unrelenting and eventually the scorching sunlight starts pouring in directly onto the bed. Even with the curtains shut, the warmth is sickening and you have no choice but to find another place to relax. 

Obviously the balcony is out of the question until the sun sets. You huff to yourself and head for the couch where Ashton is sprawled out.

“Can I sit?” You ask. 

“Your space is over there,” he says pointing to the bed. “This is my space and it’s probably best we keep the two separate.” 

“It’s too hot over there, even with the curtains closed,” you whine. 

“It’s what you wanted,” Ash cocks an eyebrow and doesn’t move a muscle.

"Are you fucking serious, Irwin? You're being a child, just move over."

He looks directly at you and stretches his large frame even further down the length of the couch. 

"Sorry, Princess. No room at the inn. Think I saw a cot in the closet."

“Selfish prick.” You mumble, turning to walk away. 

But that gets him up. “What’d you just say?” He asks, tone sharp. 

“I called you a selfish prick,” you whip around, saying it louder.

"Aww, did Princess get her feelings hurt because someone finally won't cater to her every fuckin whim?"

“Literally nothing about this trip has gone my way. You show up last minute and I have to share my fucking room with you because there’s nowhere else for you to stay? Excuse me for thinking for a minute that you might be fucking polite enough to accommodate me a little. Thankless asshole.”

"Didn't realize you were so affected by the mere presence of me," he says with a dark cockiness. He gets in your face. "And I'm gettin real tired of hearing you call me an asshole, Princess."

“And I’m getting real fucking tired of your condescending ‘Princess’ nickname, so I guess we’re both just fucked here.”

"Ohhh I think the name suits you just fine, Princess." He's impossibly close to you now, practically nose to nose. "Unrealistic expectations for everyone and everything. Particular. Judgy. Demanding. Keep waiting for you to tell me to bow down, Princess.”

“I doubt you're good at anything that’d require you to be on your knees, including bowing down.” Your eyes narrow. 

“Shouldn’t I say that to you?” He snorts.

"Well then we'd have to add 'liar' to the list of your many offenses." 

“Can’t make claims like that without backing them up.”

You roll your eyes. "Is that the only way to get you to shut the fuck up for once? Figures," you sneer. You involuntarily lick your lips and you regret it the second you do, he definitely notices.

“Blow. Me. Princess.” He enunciates.

You're not sure where this audacity comes from but you grab at his crotch. OH. He's more than half-hard in your hand. Your heart is pounding from what you assumed was anger but you're now realizing may be something else. You lean into his ear, hardening cock still in hand and challenge breathily, "Make me."

He inhales sharply, “Gladly.” He pushes you to your knees, pushing your hand away so he can drop his shorts, he does a couple quick tugs to get himself fully hard before pressing his tip against your lips. “Open.” He quietly demands in a way that says not to fuck with him, so you do what he asks.

He taps his cock up and down, over and over your open lips. You make a point of maintaining direct eye contact with him when you jut out your tongue defiantly, catching on a vein, making him groan.

You grab it from him and he easily lets go, curious of what you’ll do. You lick the underside from base to tip and slowly rub your hand over his length, placing sloppy wet kisses along the shaft to slick him up more.

You start suckling at the head, hoping to coax out some precum and you'd never admit to it but you accidentally let out a small moan when you feel the substance on your tongue. By the way Ash is tangling his hands in your hair, you can tell he's getting impatient. "Figures you'd be a fuckin tease," he critiques.

You slowly lick the tip a few times before taking him in your mouth, hoping it will shut him up. You slowly work your mouth up and down his cock, not really trying to take all of him, but enough to keep him quiet. Your eyes are still locked on his as you palm his balls.

He bites his lip and you wonder if it's because he's trying to hold back a snarky comment or a moan. You wonder why you care. Rather than unpack that thought, you decide to press your luck and take him down further. He's larger than you realized and he hits the back of your throat before you're ready and you gag. He grunts approvingly. 

Of course he does, you think to yourself, annoyed.

His hand tightens more in your hair and he pushes you further, silently encouraging you to take his cock in your throat, so you do. He lets out a loud guttural moan. 

“If I’d have known the way to shut you up was to put my cock down your throat, we would have done this years ago.” He gently caresses the side of your face.

You wish you didn't lean into his touch but you do. You wish you didn't like the weight of his cock on your tongue as much as you do but that's another thought entirely. You quickly determine you like this experience much more when your mind is quiet so you focus on making him moan loud enough to drown out your thoughts. 

You confidently bob your head on his cock with the occasional detour to tongue at his balls. You make sure your methods are as loud and as messy as possible. He's easy to read, you know what he likes without you being told.

Your jaw aches a bit from having your mouth open that wide for him but it’s a minor inconvenience for hearing his moans, tasting him. Shutting him up. 

“I was wrong about you,” he murmurs. “You can suck a cock.” He smirks and you flick his thigh.

You give him a good suck just to hear his breath catch before you pull off. "And I was wrong about you," you pant, wiping your mouth sinfully. "Turns out there is one thing about you I don't mind." You flick your tongue over his slit to punctuate your point. 

He snorts and looks down at you, yanking your hair so that you meet his gaze. "Tired of you running that goddamn mouth of yours, Princess. Mind if I fuck it?"

“Wish you’d fuck something around here,” you saltily reply.

“I promise I’ll find another wet hole to ruin as well.” He grips your hair in both hands and guides your mouth back on his cock. He gets a couple slow test thrusts in to get you used to it before he starts full force face fucking you. It doesn’t take long for him to grunt and fill your mouth with cum and he holds you on his cock, without being in your throat. “Swallow it,” he demands.

You moan around him and do as he says, though you intentionally let some dribble out of your mouth, mostly to be defiant but also because you think that's something he'd like to see.

“Cheeky little fuck," he murmurs, wiping the cum with his thumb and pushing it into your mouth. “Better than I thought you’d be for a pillow princess.” 

“Not at all a pillow princess and you'd better be returning that favor.”

He clicks his tongue and pulls you up off your knees. "There you go with your demands again, Princess," he says, stripping you naked in record time. "But I'll definitely do you a favor, sweetheart. I'll bet you've been dripping for me since you first got those pretty lips around my cock."

“Try when I first got my hand on your cock.” 

Ash looks at you, gropes both of your tits and pinches your nipples, pulling them a bit. You let out a little whine and he smirks and drops to his knees, quickly hooking one leg over his shoulder. He flicks his tongue along your clit before licking around your opening. “Very wet... Princess likes to suck cock.”

"I like doing things I'm good at." You hope it comes out as confident as you intended but an accidental whine swallows the last word of your sentence.

Ash pulls his face away and chuckles. He slides his hand up your thigh and lightly rubs your slit with his fingers before applying pressure on your clit. “I’ll give you credit, you were good at it.” He smirks, quickly pushing the two fingers in and then pulling them out with a bit of a twist, at an agonizingly slow pace. He watches your face and feels you get a little wobbly on one leg so he grabs you, pushes you back onto the couch. He wraps his arm around one thigh and pushes your other to spread you. He continues the slow pace with his fingers and rolls his tongue over your clit. 

You run your fingers through his hair and breathe deep. You'd be lying if you said he didn't know what he was doing. He catches your clit between his lips and sucks hard. You shudder and tug at his hair harder than you mean to. For a split second you think to apologize but he lets out a groan indicating he didn't mind the pain one bit. He sucks over your clit again and you pull even harder just to hear that noise.

The back and forth continues until he draws out a very loud moan from you. You don’t even think twice about the fact that your friends' rooms are around yours. “Fuck, Ashton, yes!” You whine.

He pulls back to nip and suck marks onto your inner thighs. "That's the most positive thing you've said to me this entire trip, sweetheart, I like it." He lifts your leg and pushes his fingers in as deep as he can. "Princess gonna do me the honor of cumming for me?"

“Please make me cum for you!” It sounds desperate even in your own ears but you can’t seem to care about it. 

His smirk is definitely making you more wet at this point and he notices. “So slippery in here. Can't believe I finally found a way to make you agreeable," he taunts, slowly thumbing your clit.

You hate that his cockiness is threatening to send you over the edge at this point. "Ash... God, Ash, please," you plead.

“Alright alright... don’t need you begging me just yet.” He brings his mouth back to your clit and sucks hard so you’ll yank his hair. His fingers are pumping at an ungodly pace. 

“Yes fuck right there, like that.” 

Your chest is heaving and Ash thinks he likes the view. “Can you be any louder?” He teases.

"Give me a reason and we'll see," you manage to pant out.

He sharply slaps your inner thigh, over one of the marks he'd already left, fingers grazing your pussy as he does. You do indeed, cry out louder. 

"Don't get smart with me when I'm about to make you cum, sweetie, you won't like the outcome. I promise you," he warns.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, please make me cum,” you whine. “Ashton, please!” The whine is loud and the moan when he goes back in with three fingers is obscene. He pushes you until you fall over the edge, chanting "Ash" and tugging his hair while he slowly licks over your clit.

You whimper and writhe as he expertly works you through your orgasm, easing the curling of his fingers as he feels you finish pulsing around them. He dutifully cleans you with his tongue until you're pushing his head away, too sensitive to take any more stimulation. 

He lifts his fingers to your mouth and traces one across your lips, coating them in your juices. You look directly at him as you lick them carefully, groaning at your own taste. You keep the eye contact going as you reach for his hand and draw the rest of his fingers into your mouth, sucking them clean.

“Naughty little slut, aren’t you?” He comments, watching in awe. “Be surprised if our friends didn’t just hear that little show.” 

“Like I give a flying fuck," you murmur, pulling his fingers from your mouth.

He smiles as he runs his hands over your tits, giving them an appreciative squeeze. "Gotta tell ya, Princess, I'm finding that you're full of surprises."

You sit up and reach for his cock, which you're pleased to find already hard for you again. "Gotta tell ya," you mimic his smarmy cadence. "I'd rather be full of this." You give him a squeeze for emphasis.

He grins and gets in your face. "Greedy too?" He places his hand over yours and you begin slowly stroking him. "My kind of girl." You feel his breath on your face and you wonder if he's finally going to kiss you. You wonder why you want him to.

Instead of waiting on him, you push slightly forward and press your lips to his and the kiss quickly gets deepened. 

When you come up for air, he cocks an eyebrow at you, “Couldn’t take anymore of your talking.” You shrug. 

He pushes forward and kisses you again. “I want you over the fuckin couch,” he growls. You know he means business, so you quickly turn.

His first priority is to land a hard smack on your ass. You probably should've expected it but you yelp loudly nonetheless. Satisfied with both your reaction and the red mark decorating your ass cheek, he delivers a blow to the other side to match.

“Fuckkk me," you moan, wiggling your ass in front of him.

"Oh is that what you want from me, Princess?" He teases, running his cock over your thighs and ass, everywhere except your throbbing core. You hear a whine you don't recognize escaping your throat when you feel drops of precum drizzling onto your skin.

"Even with my ass in the air for you, you've still gotta talk shit," you groan in frustration.

He slicks the tip through your folds and you press your face against the back of the couch in anticipation. “If you fuck half as good as you lick, I think we can be friends," you smirk. 

“All you need to worry about is if you can take my cock.” He lands another smack to your ass. 

“My throat took it just fine.” You look over your shoulder and wink at him.

"Alright, alright, that's enough out of you," he starts to push in and you gasp at the feeling. He snorts. "My throat took it just fine," he mocks, sinking in more.

He does a couple shallow thrusts before pushing in further. You push your hips back to meet him, taking his cock all the way. 

You moan loudly, “Never been so full in my life.” 

Ashton spanks you again, ensuring he's gonna be leaving your ass red and sore. He gives a couple slow thrusts and then stops. “You want this cock, Princess? Get it.” He lands a smack to the other side of your ass.

You take his challenge, finding a rhythm as you throw yourself back on his cock. He watches, fascinated at the sight of his length disappearing inside you again and again. He holds your hips tight enough that you'll undoubtedly have bruises. "You look real good fucking yourself on my cock, Princess," he groans.

“Feels phenomenal," you breathe. You brace your arms on the back of the couch and look back at him while you take his cock. “Fuck yes, Ashton,” you pant. 

He takes mercy on you and grips your hips tighter, deciding to take over for you. He pulls one leg up, rests his foot next to your thigh for more leverage and starts to pound into you.

The noises filling the room are obscene: heavy breathing, skin slapping against skin, the slick sounds of your arousal, the endless moans, groans and curses pouring from both your and Ash's mouths.

He pulls you by your hair up against his chest and roughly turns your face so he can sloppily kiss you. He pushes your face away when he's done. "All our friends definitely already heard you cum for me, think this time I can make you scream loud enough the whole floor will hear?"

“I don’t care who hears us at this point, I just need to cum on your cock,” you breathe. “Please," you ask nicely, tossing a smile over your shoulder for him. 

The grin that graces his face says it all. He goes harder still. Your quiet whimpers quickly escalate into loud moans of begging.

He smacks your ass a few more times as well as your upper thighs for good measure. He presses into the already forming bruises on your hips. "Pleeease... Ashhh... Fuckkk," you whine, each word at least two syllables longer than usual. 

He yanks on your hair and leans in to calmly command, "Cum for me, Princess. Wanna feel you all over my cock."

It sends you over the edge and you lean heavily against the back of the couch while he continues fucking you through your orgasm. His pace increases and then you hear his breath catch and you feel him cum inside you. He stays tucked against you for a minute. He shallow thrusts all the way in once more so you’ll remember how it felt. 

“Holy fuck,” you groan. 

Ash pets your hair and pulls out. You instantly feel the cum dripping down your thighs. “Don’t move,” he warns. He comes back moments later with a washcloth and cleans you up. You stay in position, panting over the back of the couch because you're unsure if you can even move at this point.

He runs a hand down your back with surprising tenderness. It's then that you realize how goddamn sweaty you are because of course you had to decide to have the most intense fuck of your life in a room that feels like it's on the 4th floor of hell. 

"You ok, Princess?" Ash asks, sounding a bit unsure of himself. It's so unlike him. You're kind of into it.

“Yeah… it's just fuckin hot and now I’m fucked out. And I fuckin love it," you mumble against the couch. 

“Wanna grab a cool shower... together?” He asks, ready for you to bite sarcasm at him. 

“You might have to carry me, legs aren’t working,” you chuckle. 

He stands and gestures for you to climb into his arms, "Well then, Princess, your chariot awaits."

You roll your eyes but you notice you don't feel your blood boiling as much as it usually does when he calls you that. You shift on the couch, he scoops you up and carries you into the bathroom, sitting you on the counter while he gathers towels and turns on the shower.

Once you’re under the cool water you relax and regain some composure. Ash gently grabs your chin and softly kisses you. “Gonna be honest, that’s not at all what I expected from you," he states and then fits your lips back together.

You raise an eyebrow, "Oh yeah? You spend a lot of time wondering what kind of lay I'd be, Irwin?" You tease, softly biting his lip.

“Well no... not really. Maybe a couple masturbatory fantasies about hate fucking you, but you were tied up and gagged for those…" he explains, gently rubbing his soapy hands over your red ass and bruised hips. "Just with who you’ve been to me, I didn’t assume you’d beg to cum on my cock."

You smirk, "Tied up and gagged, huh? Well let's put a pin in that conversation..." 

He shakes his head and grins at you.

"To be honest I didn't expect to hear those things come out of my mouth either," you admit, pausing to hiss when his fingers brush over a particularly sore mark. "But to be fair, based on your past behavior I didn't see you as the type to gingerly clean me up after you came inside me."

“I’ve got a thing for after care, not really a 'fuck em and leave em' type of guy,” he shrugs. 

“What are our friends gonna say?” You wonder.

“I have no idea but I’m betting both of our phones are buzzing off the hook right now," he laughs. 

“No doubt about that... so are we going for round two later or was this a one time thing?” You smile playfully.

He purses his lips as if deeply considering it and you briefly wonder if you'd gotten too comfortable and embarrassed yourself but then he presses you up against the shower wall.

"Like I said before, such a greedy Princess," he teases before crashing his lips into yours with a groan.

After a short makeout, you end your shower and the first thing you both do is go to your phones. Ash snorts. “Cal just sent a bunch of the side eye emojis,"  he announces. 

“Crystal and Mike want to know where I am because something is definitely going on in my room,” you giggle. 

You change into your shorts and a fresh bralette and Ash pulls the black athletic shorts back on. He gives you a quick kiss but is interrupted by a knock at your door. He answers it as you settle on the couch. 

It’s Luke and Sierra. Luke seems chill but Sierra pushes her way into the room and looks astonished she sees you on the couch.

"Hey sweetie," she greets you with what sounds like surprise in her voice. 

"Hey guys," you start but you can tell their attention is focused elsewhere, eyes darting around the room and exchanging wide-eyed glances with each other.

Ash shoots you an amused look but you subtly shake your head at him, waiting to see where this goes.

“Hey… just wanted to check on you guys. There was a lot of noise coming from what we thought was your room.” Sierra looks confused. 

“What kind of noise?” You ask. 

“Sex noises, moaning, ‘fuck Ashton that’s so good’,” Luke mocks, eyeing the two of you. 

Sierra playfully jabs him in his side and he yelps. "Or you know, something like that," he offers half-heartedly.

Ashton, barely keeping in a giggle, says with concern, "Oh I definitely didn't hear anything like that, did you Princess?"

“No... don’t think so, Ash. We’ve just been watching TV,” you explain to the suspicious couple. 

“In here? In this room? Together?” Sierra clarifies, so much doubt in her voice and on her face. 

“I swear we heard someone moaning Ashton’s name. Asking him to make her cum. Begging, really,” Luke muses with a smirk. 

There's another knock on the door and Luke opens it. It's Cal, having walked over from across the hall. “Ok so did you guys hear that too?” He asks.

Luke stands in the doorway discussing the mystery with Cal while Sierra bewilderedly studies your faces.

You bite the inside of your cheek to keep from laughing when you hear Cal thinking out loud, "But how would he get a girl in here without her knowing?" 

"No, man, she's been here the whole time."

"The WHOLE time?"

"Apparently."

"Well... I mean… Maybe… No..."

Sierra’s eyes narrow at you, “It was the two of you.” She determines, looking between you and Ashton. “You two hooked up...” 

“You said I was crazy for suggesting that!” Luke laughs. 

“I didn’t think she’d do it.” Sierra laughs in disbelief. “Holy shit.”

You realize Michael and Crystal must have visited Cal's room to discuss the incident because he shakes his head and announces behind him, "Mike, you were right." 

You hear a shout of "Yay! No, wait, ew that's weird. Not yay" mixed with a quieter "Whyyy?" that must've come from Crystal.

You didn't think you were the blushing type but you feel your cheeks getting warmer and you hope everyone will assume it's the heat. But Ash notices and starts waving your friends out of the room, "Ok folks, show's over."

"So we're right then?" Luke teases.

"Get the fuck outta here," Ash playfully shoos him away.

Luke and Cal shuffle out while Sierra turns back and mouths "Oh my God?" at you and mimes for you to text her.

As Ash shuts the door behind them, you flop onto the bed, exhaling loudly. He laughs and climbs on next to you. He kisses your shoulder reassuringly. "You good?"

You turn to face him, "Yeah, they're just. A lot sometimes." He snorts in agreement. "Fuck, they're gonna be so obnoxious about this, what should we do?" You ask, curious for his opinion.

"Well," he starts but then kisses you long enough that you begin to wonder if he forgot he was in the middle of a sentence. He pulls away and looks at you mischievously. "I say we give them about 15 minutes to settle back into their rooms and then we really give them something to talk about."

Tag list: @cocktail-calum @1dthewantedlove @youngblood199456 @lustingforwunder @calumsphile @neso-k @rosecoloredash @radmcqueen @justayoungandwisefangirl @itsnotmyblood  @lietoash @pushthetide21 @5sosfanficrec @therealmrshale @fallfrxmgrace @lukashemmos @justarandomgirlthatyoudontknow​ @5sos-microwave @madbomb​ @sweetheartmendes1000​ @literally-anythin​ @lfwallscouldtalk​ @clemmingstylins0n​ @ccnicole02​ @lustingfor5sos​ @buteverythingiscopacetic​ @rosesfromcth​ @bodaciousbonzi1996​ @ashtontotheirwin​ @captainam-erika-trash​ @xxgendurvikixx​ @jazzyangel242​ @bluebabycal​ @rhiannonmichellee​ @iovehemmings​ @glitterycalum1205​ @katcontreras​ @cashtonasfuck​ @ificanthaveu​ @kindahoping4forever @here-for-the-uproars​ @canterburyfiction​ @opheliaaurora​  @queer-5sos​ @banditocth​ @gigglyirwin​  @glitterycalum1205​ @rebelwith0utacause​

gc tags: @sublimehood​ @sugarcoated-pain​ @5sosnsfw​ @angelbabylu​ @aspiringwildfire​ @irwinkitten​ @lashtoncurls​ @myloverboyash​ @singt0mecalum​

masterlist || ashton || calum || luke || michael

wanna be tagged? go here

#it's ashton smut #ashton irwin #tropes on tropes on tropes #cass #crystal #friendship 🦦🦦 #galaxy brain #idk where this came from #it's a 30 page doc #stay wet #enjoy #this is what we spent all night writing #crystal really is that bitch

[boqvistsbabe]

omg imagine being best friends/roommates with adam but you secretly like him, and then one day he goes out with the boys and you're using your vibrator and calling out his name. and then unbeknownst to you he comes home early and sees you and he's just like baby do you want some help

Oh. My. Gosh.

You had been friends with Adam for awhile and just recently moved in with him because your job transferred you to Chicago and he was kind enough to let you live with him until you found something more permanent.

It was no secret to your mutual friends that you were practically in love with Adam, but somehow he never realized. Now that you were living with him you definitely didn’t want him to know because the feelings were not reciprocated and that would just be awkward for him to know.

So you kept it secret, you ignored it. Except when he was gone...

The boys had gone out and you were finally by yourself. And that was just what you needed. It was getting to be warmer out and Adam was more likely to be out of a shirt than in one. Which means you were constantly bombarded with his tan chest and more importantly his tattoos. You had always liked men with tattoos and when Adam got his, you were done for. So you finally had time to yourself.

As you touched yourself you thought of Adam. About the way the muscles in his legs tensed as he would walk. The way his abs tightened as he laughed. How big his hands looked compared to yours. How they would feel around your throat.

You reached over and grabbed your vibrator out of the drawer next to your bed. You continued to think about him as you pleasures yourself, even letting out some moans of his name. As you got closer to your high, the moans got louder and louder until

“Oh baby do you want help with that?”

You froze everything you were doing and quickly turned the vibrator off before you looked at him. Adam was standing in the now open doorway of your room, with a look on his face that you couldn’t read as anything but lust.

“I- uh… what?” Was all you could manage to get out.

“You were calling out my name so I figured you might want some help,” He responded as he slowly started walking towards you, “ if you don’t want me to, then tell me and I’ll walk out and we can try to forget this ever happened. But I don’t want to do that and I have a feeling you don’t want to either.."

He was at the end of your bed now, not even looking at you but instead looking at your dripping pussy. That look was the only thing giving you confidence in your answer.

“Do you really think you could get me off?” It was a challenge and you hoped he would take it as such.

“Obviously I can when I’m not even here. So of course I can.” His eyes flicked up to yours for a second before dropping back down to where your fingers were starting to circle your clit again.

“Why don’t you show me then, cause I don’t believe you can.”

With that Adam tugged you down by your ankles so that you were laying down instead being propped up by the pillows. Then he pressed a kiss to the inside of each of your thighs; before pulling your hand away from yourself and replacing it with his own. And when he liked a stripe up your slit you threw your head back with a breathy moan.

“Hey you have to look at me, I wanna see your face when you cum all over mine”

“Like you can even get me to cum.” You responded with a scoff, nonetheless you looked down at where his cheek was resting against your inner thigh as he looked up at you and gently slid a finger in you.

Before you could say anything else; his lips were wrapped around your clit and his finger was curling inside of you. You could feel him smile against you as you let another moan.

You had been pretty close to your high before he had walked in on you, so it wasn’t much longer before you were teetering on the edge of your orgasm. Almost as if he knew you were close, he pulled away. You’re not even ashamed to admit you whined at the loss of contact. You were about to ask why he stopped when his tongue teased at your entrance before returning to your clit and slipping two fingers back into you. You quickly met your high as he nipped at your clit before lazily lapping up your juices as you were coming down. Then he got up and came back a few minutes later with a damp washcloth to clean you up.

You were still sensitive as he cleaned you up, even though he was being gentle. When he was done he tossed it away, then moved up so he was hovering over you. He tucked a piece of your hair back away from your face and gave you a soft smile before pressing a light kiss to your lips.

"So you like me?" he mumbled in between kisses.

"I mean.. yeah I'm kind of like in love with you...." you replied as you turned your head so you weren't looking at him anymore.

"Well that's good since I'm kind of in love with you too." he started pressing feather light kisses to your neck before gently grabbing your chin and kissing you deeply.

You both were immensely happy to finally be on the same page. And you definitely made sure to repay him later ;)

Thotty Thursday

you can tell when i was trying to finish it so i could answer other things lmao

#thotty thursday #anon you ruined me #asks #asked and answered #anon #adam boqvist #I’m sorry if this sucks #I high key feel like I suck at writing anything even close to smut or even kissing #you can tell when i was trying to end this cause i didn't expect it to end this long

[smolie]

in december i wrote a 2020 year music review for myself that i intended to post here BUT...because i was infamously restricted twice last year, i didn’t bother since you wouldn’t be able to read it anyway because it was not possible to view my blog hjfdhfd

now that my restricted era is (hopefully forever) over i just want to post it here for the sake of completion since i want to do the same thing this year

this is really long so if you actually read it ... idk you are insane in the membrane and i love you... but i genuinely don’t expect anyone to read this hjfdhjf i just like reflecting on the music i have listened to and be able to look back on what i enjoyed in certain stages of my life! okiiii bye 💗

january

mac miller - circles (album) it’s a bit funny that i worried putting my thoughts down about this album and now it turns out to be first on the list, chronologically of course … oh bittersweet irony </3 listening to this album is such a double edged sword, either way i am always hit with a truckload of feelings when i turn to this release.

this album came to me in a time of my life where i was slowly but surely sliding down towards rock bottom again just after i got out of it and thought i was okay. the times i’ve listened to this crying in the bathtub with a glass of wine….girl let’s not lol…. it’s almost strange how much i can relate to the thoughts another person brought to paper. the comfort this album brings me is otherworldly, i feel so understood by mac’s words and it’s my go-to “wallow in self-pity for a bit then come out stronger than before” album. then again, i feel a little sting when any of mac’s songs come on shuffle. a friend of mine said she cannot listen to artists who have passed because it feels too strange and most of the time i agree but this time, it’s so so different. this album would have been mac’s salvation, i can feel it. everything would have been a bit brighter and lighter for him after this, it would have had to be. i feel like i would do him a disservice if i did not listen to this album, so i will cherish this final gift from him as his legacy and my comfort. i miss him incredibly and am all the more thankful he shared his heart with us.

album favs: circles, good news, surf

tiny meat gang - broke bitch (single) MAN I TELL THAT BROKE BITCH IF YOU WANNA GET IN TUNE BETTER CHANGE YOUR WHOLE PITCH LIKE WOAH !!!!!!!!!! did that give you whiplash? hehe funny to say this about a song called broke bitch by a duo called tiny meat gang but this song actually means a lot to me! it came out shortly before their show in berlin and i almost exclusively listened to it on my 7+ hours train ride from one side of the country to the other to see my meat boys. this played out of the fat ass speakers at the venue when they stepped on the stage and i will never forget meeting them :’) also the song fucking slaps obviously

february

loona - [#] (mini album) ah yes, the most controversial loona release to date! i’m not gonna lie and say this sounded anything like i expected it to. but also, i have come to terms with the fact that loona release noise music now and personally i am here for it. why not did not have the endless energy of hi high or otherworldly vibe of butterfly, but it’s a hype song and i am always there for hype. i also have to say the b-sides were not as strong for me as on previous releases but i think i have to come to peace with the fact that loona will never top their debut mini for me. though if i can wish for one thing…… let loona have title tracks with a chorus in 2021? pls? crumbs?

album favs: so what, oh (yes i am)

tame impala - the slow rush (album) *lights cigarette* i’m listening to pretty underground music….i don’t think you’ve heard of this band….they are called tame impala *intro of the less i know the better starts playing* yes i am a basic white bitch and listen to like 3 alternative bands but damn i listen to them religiously. like any other basic bitch on this planet i found out about tame impala through the less i know the better and checked out their music. i wasn’t too much into this album as i was into currents but towards the end of the year, i was in a moody alternative music slump that took me back to this album and i like it a lot more now! most importantly, tame impala fulfills my primitive urge to listen to songs that exceed the 4 minute mark. something clicks in my brain when i see a song that is like 6:34 and chances that it ends up as one of my faves on a album are high. i enjoy tiktok like everyone else but this trend of 2:50 long songs needs to be stopped immediately.

album favs: borderline, lost in yesterday, it might be time, is it true, posthumous forgiveness

honorary mentions: onlyoneof - dOra maar, everglow - dundun

march

nct 127 - neo zone (album) ah, yes. the album that fundamentally changed me as a person <3 i’ve been listening to nct for a while, matter of fact i checked my top tracks 2019 playlist on spotify and cherry bomb was on there lol. i remember trying to get into them in 2018 when they released their regular-irregular album but the endless member & unit concept scared me off, so i only listened to a handful of songs without looking into them march 2020, the fateful month in which they released kick it and screencaps of jaehyun’s sexy ass tiddies in the kick it mv landed on my tumblr or twitter and i HAD to look up who this man is…...remember when i thought jaehyun was my ult for like, 2 weeks? me neither, johnny suh only in this house <3

anyway, i checked out this album and by god, is this pure kpop perfection. last time i listened to a god tier no skip album like this was … maybe the perfect red velvet? hype songs, well crafted ballads, love songs that make me wanna learn the lyrics, genuinely fun and interesting pop songs, this album has it all. somehow, the way this album is crafted greatly reminds me of brown eyed girls’ sound-g, it has the same vibe, concept and mix of genres to me, i’m not entirely sure how to explain. anyway, this album is one of my favorites of all time and even though i’ve obsessively listened to it (lastfm says 1.4k scrobbles as of today, december 7th…) i am still not tired of this. i recommend this to anyone who loves kpop tbh, you will have a good time with this!

other than being just a musically solid album, the emotional ties i have with this are …. isabel stop making albums your emotional support 2021 challenge. i’ve listened to this release all spring lockdown, this basically played at every waking hour for all of march and april. the promotion time of this era and lockdown are deeply intertwined for me and so i am always remembered of all the nct content i consumed during that time which inevitably cheered me up so much. this album really means a lot to me :’)

album favs: kick it, mad dog, love song, boom

honorary mentions: itzy - wannabe,

the weeknd - after hours (album) my dear melchanoly, was one of my favorite releases of 2018, so i had been desperate for a new release by abel and boy did he not disappoint. the perfect thotty, dirty emo 80s, making it clap while crying in the club album! this is a no skip from top to bottom and all i can say is that the grammys can go to hell <3 abel aoty! there is really not much i can say about this album, the flawless production, lyrics and sound speak for themself. my only criticism is that i feel overwhelmed by 14 songs, especially when some of them are really long. a few songs greatly overshadow the weaker tracks on the album for me but i still love this to death.

album favs: escape from LA, blinding lights, after hours, faith

dua lipa - future nostalgia (album) after the weeknd’s masterpiece of an 80s inspired pop album i was really looking forward to this. i greatly enjoyed the pre-releases, i played don’t start now and physical up and down, they are still some of my favorite songs released this year! when i first listened to the album i really liked it, songs like boys will be boys or pretty please sound like fillers to be but the rest is solid. yet a month after release you couldn’t catch me listening to this and i cannot even really tell you why. i think it was a combination of the following: 1) i greatly overplayed dsn and physical to the point where i didn’t want more of the pop 80s sound that the album has 2) there were other releases at the time that caught my attention and interest more like neo zone or after hours 3) dua herself….girl….she really gave it her all this year to make herself as unlikeable as possible. nationalist propaganda and the constant traveling during a fucking pandemic were really the kicker. i can barely stand seeing her on my instagram feed anymore, much less listen to her album. her having the nerve to go “we’re in a pandemic lol” when people asked about an animated music video …. if you don’t shut the hell up lmao … also, she takes the crown for the corniest album opener of all time. i nearly closed spotify when i heard future nostalgia (the song) lmao

album favs: don’t start now, physical, levitating, hallucinate

honorary mentions: megan thee stallion - savage

april

apink - dumhdurum (song)

listen, i’m not gonna sit here and pretend like this mini album interested me in the slightest but god, the title is such a banger.i’m so sick, eung eung and dumhdurum are a holy trilogy that i will defend until the end of time! i really hope apink stick to this mature, elegant concept, it suits them so well and goes well with their new sound. come back soon queens <3

rina sawayama - xs (song) i feel like i’m gonna catch some hands here … xs is an absolute banger, the guitar riffs and disruptive sounds really get me going every damn time! but the rest of the album … tell me why it doesn’t catch me?! i literally cannot explain. i need to take an hour, sit down and do nothing but listen to the album from top to bottom once again and see if my thoughts change but right now i only care about xs.

chungha - stay tonight (song) drama! vocals! dance break! choreography! this release served it all. i listened to this obsessively during the time of the release and it still holds up today. can we talk about the run chungha had with gotta go > snapping > stay tonight? lord have mercy.

honorary mentions: april - lalalilala, nct dream - ridin’

may

lady gaga - chromatica (album) the immense disappointment i have in this album is tough to put into words lol. any other artist might have gotten away with this release but gaga having the discography that she has, well … she doesn’t get away with it. this has underwhelming all over it. i enjoyed the pre-releases and my hope was high but the rest just doesn’t live up what i expected, i can’t even say why. it’s just underwhelming pop for someone of gaga’s calibre. i listened to this album during release week and then never again till december to write this list and i can see why.

album favs: rain on me, sour candy ft. blackpink, stupid love

baekhyun - delight (mini album) it’s confession time … this is a name i never would have expected on any of my music lists to end up. exo has always been one of those boy groups i casually listened to. i greatly enjoy their title tracks and a handful of side tracks, i have a few members that i keep an eye on more than others but that’s about it. baekhyun was never one of those members i had any interest in, matter of fact i always thought he was kinda vanilla and boring 😭 i didn’t even plan on listening to this release if it wasn’t for his association with superm and thus nct, so i gave it a shot and we have no choice but to stan. his voice is like butter and can cut sharp at the same time, his versatility is insane. i dived a bit more into baekhyun related content and he is so likeable, it’s almost ridiculous. this production is absolute god tier, not a single skip on this mini. late spring/early summer i had this weird urge to listen to songs with mellow voices but still a banger instrumental and i wholeheartedly blame this release. matter of fact, this album is so good, i had to buy a physical copy. Y’ALL. THIS IS A BIG DEAL. i haven’t bought a kpop album of anyone that’s not holy top 3 (brown eyed girls, loona, nct) in like … idk, 5 years?! baekhyun’s impact. i’m a fan now <3

album favs: candy, r u ridin’?, love again

ak aussenkontrolle - in meinem benz (song) this … is very unrelated to this entirely list but i had to put it on here. i miss my ex boss and our 3 hour drives to meetings in the south of the country where we would blast trashy german rap music </3

nct 127 - neo zone: the final round (repackage) *airhorns* REEEPACKAGE TIIIIIME!!! my first nct era that i experienced from start to finish! i remember watching nct 127’s beyond live with luna where these mfs performed punch and we finished the concert having no idea what this song sounded like. the structure is so unusual and the intro catches me off-guard every time just to hype me up beyond compare. not gonna lie, the fact that johnny has exactly one (1) line hurts but! it’s my favorite line of the entire song! possibly related to the fact that it’s his line but let’s ignore that ….

album favs: punch, make your day

kim woo seok - red moon (song) i’m not even gonna lie to you. i have not a single idea who this man is. you could put him right in front of me and i wouldn’t know … all i know is that he has a banger song. i saw him perform this on a music show that i watched for nct and i ended up loving the song … thanks for your service sir, whoever you are ...

june

stray kids - go live (album) 2020 was kind of the year of boy groups for me, i’m so sorry … stray kids promoted simultaneously with nct 127 so i ended up hearing their title track and holy hell, is that a song. god’s menu is hype from start to finish. it reminds me of good ol’ 2nd gen noise boy group song a lá b*g b*ng fantastic baby. just pure hype and fun noise. i am forever grateful to witness the birth of the line cooking like a chef, i’m a five star michelin. the title track impressed me so much that i ended up checking out the entire album which i rarely ever do with boy groups and what is even rarer is that i enjoyed the b sides lmao!!! it’s not an album that i would put on and just enjoy from start to finish but it has some really solid tracks! this release made me want to keep an eye on stray kids, they seem like a really fun bunch.

album favs: god’s menu, TA, airplane

seventeen - left & right (song) the boy group run continues … same thing with stray kids, seventeen promoted during punch era so i heard their song while watching some music station show for nct and i heard this and was sold. solid, fun pop with the catchiest pre-chorus in history and a banger chorus. i listened to the entire mini and can’t say it really caught my interest so this is a title track only release for me.

dishonorary mentions: twice - more & more (i hate this song so much lol)

honorary mentions: ryu sejeong - tiger eyes, monsta x - fantasia, chloe x halle - do it

july

irene & seulgi - monster (mini) this is a weird release because it’s good. the title track is fun enough, the b sides are dope. but my issue with this is that it’s nothing new. this sounds exactly like a red velvet release. i get that they didn’t want to a  joy, seulgi, irene, yeri release only and went for the sub-unit route instead, but why not be experimental and stray away from the usual sound of the group? also, whoever made monster and not naughty the title track deserves to be spat on. at least the choreography here is more interesting and “experimental” for kpop standards. also, why only a seulgi solo and no irene? i have no idea how reveluvs reacted to this release but this has rushed written all over it.

album favs: monster, naughty (i’m counting this to the mini idc), uncover

exo-sc - 1 billion views (mini) doing my part as a filthy casual exo listener. this release goes in the same category as baekhyun’s delight where i like the album so much that i HAD to get a physical copy. i don’t know what they put in the title track for it to be so diddly darn addictive but it clearly worked. the only bad thing about this release is how criminally mismanaged it was by sm, when i get you lee sooman ...

album favs: 1 billion views, on me, say it

baekhyun - garden in the air (song) i told you i’m a loyal baekhyun fan now <3 king releases and i listen, that’s just how it goes now! this is a cover of a boa song and i really love his version. there is not much to say except that it’s a really smooth song and his voice absolutely carries the track. i enjoyed this much more than i thought i would!

hyoyeon - dessert (song) YOU KNOW WHAT I DESERVE??? DESSERT!!!!!!! *insert tik tok challenge here* imagine if miryo featured on this instead of the ethnic hip girl … why can’t we have nice things. anyway, a banger!

johnny - sunny side up episode 1 set (spotify playlist, actual set) johnny being the skilled, talented, multi-faceted king that he is has been dj-ing since before debut (not me acting like i was around at that time lmao) and thus he decided to bless our quarantined, lockdowned asses with an online dj set! that was the most turned up sunday morning i ever had in my entire life. this set kicked off an edm/house/techno affinity that i had for the following couple of weeks. this set is an absolute banger, i would go insane to this in the club. he has an amazing ear for transitions and drops and i still just put on this set on the regular when i have cleaning to do or so. he could fill the void that rona and thus no clubbing in 2020 left in my heart and i’m so happy he decided to share this with us <3 now … john … sunny side up episode 2 pspspspspsps

honorary mentions: gfriend - apple, jessi - nunu nana

august

cardi b ft. megan thee stallion - wap (song) late summer 2021. we are vaccinated, icu beds are free, barely any new cases, clubs are open, this song plays and i can finally make it fucking clap.

troye sivan - in a dream (mini album) a cute mini album! nothing life-changing or as exciting as previous releases but easy (haha!) to enjoy. i really, really enjoy easy, can always count on troye for a dreamy sound.

album favs: easy

honorary mentions: itzy - not shy

september

wonho - love synonym pt. 1: right for me (mini album) honestly? i know like, 3 monsta x songs. i never bothered to get into them and maybe i never will, but it was difficult to ignore the whole wonho & monsta x mess that went on. i have absolutely no memory of why i decided to check out this release, i guess i was curious what he was going to do and … i was positively surprised lol. open mind is the exact time of song i had been so desperate all summer (remember mellow vocals with banger instrumentals? yeah) and uhm … can’t ignore the obvious … mr wonho is fucking fine. sir, you just gained a fan … now, where is love synonym part 2?? huh?????

album favs: open mind, i just, losing you

joji - nectar (album) this one is on tiktok. i heard gimme love in a bunch of tiktoks and had to look up the song and here we are. what an album! it came right as seasonal depression started to hit and accompanied me for a good chunk of autumn. at this point one has to ask if joji can ever really miss? the entire album is a no skip, it’s almost difficult to narrow down my favorites if my favorites weren’t so damn god tier!!!

album favs: gimme love, ew, tick tock, pretty boy, your man

super m - tiger inside / 100 / drip (songs) okay, listen. technically tiger inside & 100 were already released in august. instead of those three songs i was gonna write about the entire album until i realized i really don’t give a fuck about it 😭 i really only care about those three songs. and YES, i unironically like 100. is it a good song? no. but neither is jopping and that fucking bangs. i don’t turn to superm for life-changing, profound music, i turn to them for a good time LOL and that’s what they deliver every time! that being said, taeyong’s VROOM VROOM, UHMM UHMM, GRRRAHHHH verse is life-changing and profound! speak your truth king! also i wish drip was a b side for nct 127 that song is so damn sexy

taemin - never gonna dance again act 1 (album) this isn’t kpop, this is taemin pop. taemin never misses and the fact that hw*s* won dance performance over taemin is a literal hate crime. i will never forget the industry for this daylight robbery … anyway, nice album!!!!

album favs: criminal, black rose, waiting for

stray kids - in life (repackage) *airhorns* REPACKAGE TIIIIME 2.0!!!! i was on the edge of my seat waiting what stray kids were going to deliver after i greatly enjoyed god’s menu. i was still not over listening god’s menu when the repackage came out so i didn’t listen to it right away and now i greatly regret the few days i could have listened to back door earlier </3

album favs: back door, any

jackson wang - pretty please (song) i’m not gonna pretend like i ever listened to a song by jackson ever before. he is short king from got7 in my head and that’s all! i don’t even remember why i listened to this song but all i know is that it slaps severely. i love the wong kar wai inspired music video and the choreography is fun too! i’m gonna check out more of his music <3

honorary mentions: fromis9 - feel good, knk - ride

october

blackpink - the album (album, duh) i don’t even know what to say about this … this might be the weirdest release on the list for me. there are song i absolutely fucking hate (ice cream …) and songs i get my life to (pretty savage) on here and the discrepancy just gives me massive whiplash. i would never put this album on and listen to the whole body of work, i just cannot with the brain damage it gives me. i am still stuck in 2016, begging for bp to release music like whistle/boombayah/stay/playing with fire but i think i need to give up on that wishful thinking … i am just grateful we a got a title track with actual lyrics in the chrous for once.

album favs: pretty savage, lovesick girls

nct - nct 2020 resonance pt. 1 (album) this era was … a ride. nct 2020 happening was near inevitable but with covid it got pushed back so far, i started to believe it wasn’t even going to happen. i was semi-terrified of what was going to happen during a comeback with 21 (now 23!!) member group since i only experienced nct 127 comebacks so far and uhh … a LOT happened lmfao but let’s keep this about the album … i had no idea what was going to hit me. johnny having effectively 3 lines in nct 2018 did not give me much hope and after he got denoted to no line treatment in punch again, i was ready to not even have any expectation but this release changed everything. make no mistake that most of my favorite songs are units with johnny, we knew that was gonna happen lmaooo they dropped the teaser video for misfit and i thought i had my favorite song in the bag and then faded in my last song happened. y’all. JOHNNY SINGS? LIKE? ACTUALLY SINGS? DOESN’T GET FORCED TO RAP OR TALK-SING? MY MAN’S VOCALS??? OH MY GAAAAHD! this song is dramatic, theatrical, emo, it serves vocals and rap, it has catchy english and korean lyrics, this is THE song, the ULTIMATE song. i love this song so much, i want to belt it on top of my lungs in the pouring rain. apart from fimls, i also loveeee misfit, that was to be expected after i was going completely insane over the track video. johnny has like 3 lines but again they are iconic (WARNIN’! NCT WE MOBBIN’!) and i just enjoy the track too much to be upset over that. nectar. holy fuck. nectar!!!! wayv never disappoints with their thotty songs, they now have an absolute god tier hoe-ly song trinity with love talk > bad alive > nectar. the first chorus and hendery’s first verse (CHOP CHOP CHOP!) get me every time, this song is so insanely good i am severely upset i cannot sing along to it :( music, dance has nct 127 written all over it in bold letters, it’s so inherently 127’s sound!!!! i love this song so much, it’s so fun, upset and has massive dance-ability, i wish we had gotten a stage for it but i guess you can’t have everything in life </3 make a wish……………………………..the cursed unit. i don’t want to say anything about this except that, unfortunately, the song is fun and i enjoy it. the end. overall, this album is so insanely solid. i know i talk about my favorites A LOT but i genuinely do not dislike a single song on here, this is an absolute no skip album! that’s it. see you for resonance part 2!!!!!

album favs: FADED IN MY LAST SONG !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!, misfit, nectar, music dance, make a wish

loona - 12:00 (mini album) controversial loona release 2.0! i don’t know what it is, but somehow they managed to lace the words di da dam di dam di dam dam dam dam di dam (yeah) with pure crack. i fucking love why not, i would even go as far to say it’s my 2nd favorite title track. that is right, i think it’s better than butterfly (btw: hi high > why not > butterfly > so what). so much was strange this comeback, from the inexplicable concept + teasers, the outfits, the styling (yves….i mourn your hot girl era) but the title track is just SO good, SO fun, SO catchy that i am willing to ignore it all. i also enjoy the b sides much more than on #, they are much more memorable to me. and now … HASEUL RETURN…………….i purely live to see the next loona comeback at this point

album favs: why not, voice, universe

twice - i can’t stop me (song) thank fuck twice released a good song this year. if more & more had been the only 2020 release, that would have been the real tragedy. not gonna lie, i still haven’t listened to the full album, it just keeps slipping my mind. but! i’m going to! until then i’m gonna bop to i can’t stop me.

ariana grande - positions (album) the way this album has people upset is so funny. i am a huge dangerous woman fan myself, it’s my fave ariana album to date but she has said repeatedly that this is not the sound she is striving for. now she has her coin and can do whatever she wants in music and if that is r’n’b then fuck! we have to live with it! lmao! i can live with the sex theme of the album because it’s delivered in a fun way? but it’s getting a bit old...if the next album is about riding dick only too idk how much i would enjoy that. i would probably always come back to ari because i like her voice so much but girl, there are other topics to sing about, i promise! anyway! i like this album, it’s one of those where i can hit shuffle and enjoy it in the background while doing other stuff.

album favs: positions, 34 + 35, love language, my hair, pov

tiny meat gang - sofia (song) ayyy, it’s my meat boys :’) ending the year the same way they started it, with a banger! i absolutely love the guitar instrumental, the melancholic love song type sound paired with the theme of singing about loving a robot … yup, that’s creativity and talent right here! this makes me so freaking desperate for a new ep and i genuinely have no idea how far or close we are to one but!!! i am always waiting!!!

noel - push (ep) this is something i absolutely did not expect. noel (of tiny meat gang!) released his first ep ever and i was absolutely wowed. noel has it all, the voice, the talent, the creativity and all it took him was the confidence to finally put something out and i’m so happy he did. he gets real personal on bus back, more than ever before and i always get a bit emo listening to this track </3 this man is gonna go places and i’m so happy to witness his journey.

album favs: crow, head sunk, bus back

honorary mentions: sam smith - diamonds

november

taemin - never gonna dance again act 2 (album) i’m gonna say it. idea is better than criminal. the chorus drop???? when he goes MY AH AH  MY AH AH MY AH MY IDEA MY MY IDEAAAAAA A-A-A A-A-A???? bitch … tell me you can sit still, i won’t believe you. i like part 2’s title track more, but part 1’s b sides are more interesting to me. either way, taemin delivered as expected!!

album favs: idea, impressionable, exclusive

nct - nct 2020 resonance pt. 2 (album) part two, baby! we made it! part 2 had more mellow, ballad-y songs with my everything, i.o.u. and all about you, overall less drama than part 1 but i still enjoyed it. work it is one of those controversial songs where you despise it with your entire being or you defend this top tier noise till the end and i am absolutely the latter. the agony of not being able to listen to it and seeing the timeline so divided nearly killed me, but i have concluded that people who hate work it have never felt joy in their life <3 honestly my opinion cannot be counted because i eat up anything johnny participates in … biased ass… what i’m not gonna talk about is resonance (the song), this absolute mess of a “remix”. the audacity sm had to release this as a single is insane. anyway!! this era was a rollercoaster ride. all the interactions truly made me interested in members of other units more. hendery (the rise and fall …), yangyang my beautiful son, jeno aka blue hair guy, chenle the chaos kid and xiaojun after he made make a wish his bitch in particular! all the interactions between the units were so fun to witness and it was fun while it lasted but i am … so glad it’s over lol. i miss nct 127, i miss some peace, i hope the boys get to rest for a bit and so does my bank account.

album favs: work it, 90s love, i.o.u., raise the roof

miley cyrus - plastic hearts (album) not in a thousand years would i have expected a miley release to be on here. this girl does everything to be absolutely unlikeable in my eyes but after severely banging out to her heart of glass cover, i was really excited for this and it did not disappoint. what is disappointing is that it took her so long to find a sound that fits her like a glove. i believe many people miss out on this release after her previous history and i nearly would have done the same. this alt/rock influenced pop does her voice so many favors and i really hope she sticks to this direction, i love this album greatly!!

album favs: heart of glass, midnight sky, night crawling ft. billy joel, wtf do i know

kai - kai (mini album) just. imagine debuting with an album like that. lol. what a god tier big dick move. we all knew whatever this release was gonna be, above all it was going to be sexy and boy were we RIGHT!!!! mmmh is exactly as thotty as i needed it to be and the b sides give me everything from r’n’b to trap. i love this release and i love that it’s only the beginning of kai! like!! he is only gonna gain even more experience and become even more powerful!! what the fuck!!!!!

album favs: mmmh, ride or die, hello stranger, nothing on me

honorary mentions. gfriend - mago

december

nothing? wtf?? 😭 no interesting release happened,,,,half the time i listened to christmas songs anyway lol

pre 2020 releases i only found this year

mgmt - little dark age (album, 2018) & oracular spectactular (album, 2007) another tiktok serve. i found little dark age through a tiktok trend and ended up really liking mgmt. they fit perfectly into my autumn/winter moody alt/rock mood that i had going on and i’m happy they have so much more music that i can check out!

artist favs: little dark age, electric feel, time to pretend

tame impala - currents (album, 2015) everyone’s favorite basic alt bitch album! i enjoyed this more than the slow rush for a good chunk of time, it also fit right into my alt rock autumn mood. i really love this album, like previously mentioned it has my favorite long ass tracks on there but also a good amount of short or medium long tracks. i’m still busy enjoying currents and the slow rush but i can’t wait till i finally take the leap to dive into their other releases because i’m loving everything i’ve heard so far.

album favs: the less i know the better, let it happen, new person same old mistakes

joji - ballads 1 (2018) after liking nectar so much, checking joji out was a given and i just love this album. only when i listened to this i realized i heard slowly dancing in the dark a few times on tiktok lmao that cursed app man … i would say i love nectar a bit more but this is still a fantastic album!!

album favs: slowly dancing in the dark, attention, test drive, yeah right

jus2 - focus (mini album, 2019) in my “mellow moody bangers” phase i was scouring playlists for more songs and i think i found focus on me first which fitted right into the niche i was looking to fill and i ended up enjoy this whole release! only later i realized this is a sub-unit from got7 lmao how come i enjoy solo or unit releases by got7 members but their group discography never interested me? anyway, very sexy ep!

album favs: drunk on you, focus on me, love talk

knk - sunset (song, 2019) part of my mellow bangers playlist. very sexy, i can imagine this as a runway song! i have no idea who knk are but given the fact i enjoyed two of their songs so far maybe i should look into them lol

baekhyun - city lights (mini album, 2019) i am repenting for my sins of missing out on baekhyun releases by consuming his music at an exorbitant rate. un village is one hell of a title track that i didn’t appreciate before, but i feel like in 2020 my music interests started to vary and i love the groovy r’n’b and string sound of this song so much. i also love stay up to death, the vocals baekhyun serves here are unreal. his BABY WE CAN STAY UP!!!!!!! gets me every single time!!!! what a mini!

album favs: un village, stay up

mac miller - swimming (album, 2018) i’ve listened to this album before 2020 but i had the urge to put this on here. this is going to sound so corny, but if i had to pick one song to be my life’s title track, it would be ladders. the hope this song gives me is unreal, it feels like a light at the end of the tunnel. this album is so fantastic, i love the upbeat instrumentals paired with sometimes gloomy lyrics are so incredible, mac was truly one of the greatest artists of our time. this album is  so outstanding and i miss him every day.

album favs: ladders, jet fuel, 2009, self care, perfecto

doja cat - hot pink (album, 2019) i can never decide if i like doja or not but the album slaps lol that’s it come on tiktok queen

album favs: say so, juicy, like that, streets

my fav 2020 playlists

slapping mellow

neo culture technology

malcolm

why go to therapy when this playlist exists?

top songs 2020

(by spotify)

#again a heads up: this was written in december 2020 and there are a few names mentioned here that....i want nothing to do with anymore lol #like h*ndery of gfr*end #but i'm not gonna delete them because at the time i enjoyed their releases and no one knew they were ignorant asswipes <3 #also not me thinking i'm gonna get vaccinated this summer LMFAOOOOOOO #i can consider myself lucky if i even get them this year #german government my detested <3 #about me

[typinggently]

4 or 10 sounds very Tommy and Alfie to me👀

I 100% agree 👀

However, I got a little swept away with 4 and to make sure it won’t get too long and is easier to read, I’ll post 10 in a separate post tomorrow. I hope that’s alright!! 💚

But for now –

4. Winding the other up in public

-

Now. The thing is that they’re both bastards. Their whole relationship is build on that, let’s be real. And they have very different sets of skills when it comes to their assholery.

Which is to say – Alfie for one is very aware that he has immense power over Tommy and if he were to actually ask him to do something promiscuous, Tommy would be most likely very overwhelmed with intense thottiness and most likely make a fool out of himself. So Alfie’s approach to that whole thing is relying on the fact that Tommy wants nothing more than to get railed every time they’re in a room together to edge him on while doing and saying things that only Tommy would interpret as promiscuous. (Like at the end of Starving on my own, where he brings the bottle and tells the guys he had to take Tommy to the back for a taste? That shit. If you don’t know what he really means, you won’t suspect a thing, but Tommy knows)

Meanwhile Tommy’s idea of seduction is telling people that he’d like to fuck right now immediately. Which works for him for some reason but it’s not really subtle. What I’m implying, of course, is that his approach would be much more direct.

Now – “in public” is a bit vague. My favourite approach for them in a modern AU is “working together but no one except the inner circle really knows”, which doesn’t really allow for dates ( :-( ). However, what it does allow for is them fooling around during negotiations.

So we have Alfie, Tommy, and some other dude we really do not care about. Not even a little bit. And Tommy and this poor fellow listen to Alfie hold his little speech and present his ideas etc etc, but thanks to who Alfie is as a person, the whole thing practically reads as “Tommy Shelby is my personal little slut and I love him so much” in thinly veiled code.

And while the guy doesn’t get any of that, Tommy does, and naturally he’s furious at how well that shit works on him. So what he does, of course, is just straight up putting his hand on Alfie’s crotch under the table.

(“How are they sitting that that’s even possible?” – Love, idk. They’re in a booth at Tommy’s club and the man’s not getting called out for being a huge, huge slut for Alfie in his own club. No thank you. He’s going to fight back by stroking Alfie’s cock now.)

And, see. Alfie really didn’t expect that, but he’s not exactly one to back down from a challenge like that. Also he’s probably mildly amused that Tommy’s response to being called a little slag is the most promiscuous behaviour possible.

So basically, what I’m saying is that whatever the guy and Alfie are discussing, Tommy’s NOT paying attention, and Alfie’s not really doing that much better, either. He at least tries to keep his composure, but his cock is definitely more than interested in the way Tommy’s squeezing him and it’s getting difficult to keep his eyes open and his voice steady. I would hope that Tommy would at least have the decency to not undo Alfie’s trousers, but considering everything, even that just adds to the tease.

Torturous 45 minutes.

And remember how they’re at Tommy’s place? Yeah, Alfie has to get up and walk out with this other guy as if his cock isn’t rock hard. Considering he can’t risk exposing their relations or looking suspicious, he also can’t stay, so he actually has to tell his driver to drive around the block until the guy’s well and truly out of sight before getting back.

At least Tommy’s waiting for him & gets right into the car as soon as Alfie opens the door for him.

-

“Now, poppet, what the fuck was all that about, huh?”

But Tommy’s not listening, he’s busy undoing Alfie’s fly. Because listen. Listen. Sure, Alfie had a difficult time concentrating on whatever was going on because he had a hand on his cock but Tommy, the poor thing, spent about 45 minutes touching Alfie’s cock and he didn’t even get to suck it. The fool tortured himself about as much as he teased Alfie.

Which is why he’s not wasting any time now. Alfie’s not even done talking when Tommy’s already halfway down his cock. And really, judging by the enthusiasm with which he’s sucking him down, one would believe he was the victim during that whole meeting.

(And please remember that they’re still very much in a car. This can’t be comfortable, no matter that it’s got the partition and more space and all that other luxurious mumbo jumbo. Just goes to show that Tommy really is dying for a proper taste)

Alfie has to pull him back by his hair out of the fear that he’ll choke himself with how deep he’s taking him, but Tommy’s not having it, leaning into the grip to keep his mouth on the tip of Alfie’s cock, giving it little sucking kisses while he strokes the currently neglected length, making happy little noises when he can feel it twitch in his hand. Eyes half-lidded, tongue soft-hot, getting Alfie’s cock wet with how his mouth is watering. Expression of pure bliss. The man didn’t even stop to take off his glasses.

So Alfie does the nice thing and lets go of his hair, letting Tommy choke himself. Who is he to stop him, right? Judging by his happy little moan and the way he’s not even pausing for breath before sinking down his cock again, Tommy obviously needs it very, very badly. And he’s clearly enjoying himself - hollowing his cheeks, purring low in his throat, stroking Alfie’s split-slick length whenever he pulls off to suck and kiss the tip.

It’s fair to say that this whole thing doesn’t take long. The combination of Tommy teasing him for so long and this lewd display now has Alfie on the edge in a few minutes and sooner rather than later, he’s coming all over Tommy’s face. Tommy’s a good sport, however, and strokes him through it, licking his cock clean with come dripping down his chin, his glasses.

This really just goes to show that no matter what clever plan Tommy cooks up in his smart fox brain, Alfie’s the one to come out on top.

-

This was so much fun to think about. Please know that this whole story ends by Alfie taking Tommy home and not letting him get off until he himself is ready to go again so he can properly wreck him in revenge for that disrespecting, mischievous behaviour. This here as always is just a little ramble but Alfie working on siting still while Tommy’s touching him…Tommy’s absolute thot brain turning OFF due to his own damn plan…Alfie’s loving dirty talk in the car and later when he’s actively fucking Tommy into the sheets…!!!! Much to think about indeed

-

Thank you so much for the prompt!

Please don’t send more Alfie/Tommy requests for this specific list – I have some doubles and am currently working through finishing them all. But I’m really, really happy you enjoyed them so much! :> 💚

#alfietommy #filth #anon #ask

[dammit-stark]

hi we’re out here missing met gala season so here’s some Concepts of our fav fictional characters (avengers/stevetony and superbat- superbat are the last two) attending the gala and being hot and kicking ass:

the avengers are invited to the met gala the year after the battle of New York and while Bruce kindly opts out (“the big guy and paparazzi don’t exactly get along, Tony” Tony, getting flashbacks of being a teenage son of billionaire, nods. “Okay yeah that’s fair. We’ll sneak some canapés home in Nat’s purse for you, doc”) the rest of them agree to show up and fittingly the theme has to do with good vs evil in light of the battle of New York so of course the designers are so eager to work with the literal heroes (I mean have you seen them, they’re practically models anyway it’s perfect) and Steve keeps going to Tony and asking what all these rules and fittings and “they’re really gonna put me in THAT I don’t know if I’d be comfortable wearing that” bc he’s never done anything even sort of like this and Tony helps him and explains it to him over and over again and even talks to the designers to make sure they put Steve in something he won’t throw up on out of anxiety while nat takes it all in stride of course and clint just really doesn’t care at all as long as they feed him they can put him in whatever he wants and so finally it’s the big day and Tony organizes this dramatic entrance where he flies in with Steve and nat and Clint literally appear out of nowhere (which is impressive bc Nat’s dress is gorgeous and Clint’s suit basically has a train it’s so fucking gaudy and thor flies in just before iron man and cap show up and he’s got this HUGE cape just absolutely GINORMOUS and he looks so hot and they make just this absolutely jaw-dropping quintet and they’re the star of the whole thing anyway I just want them to be thotty and steal the show

(nat wears a black practically skintight dress with a slit running up the side and there’s a gradient at the bottom that makes it almost look like fire and she looks all very femme fatale/1950’s hollywood accented with a very military-looking sash around her belt (only Clint knows that she has a gun strapped to her other thigh) and then Clint wears this tux with a train like the gaudy bitch he is and there’s purple lining along the cuffs and I don’t know how but his biceps are definitely exposed somehow and he basically looks like a badass modern phantom of the opera kinda dude and he rocks it)

(and then there’s thor with his cape and so many sequins and custom metal armor shit and it’s a weird mix between asgardian fashion and modern midfardian fashion bc he had worked with the designers to get something true to him and he has bombass confidence and he’s just happy to be there)

( and then there’s Steve and Tony. Tony comes in stunting obviously bc this is not his first show (yes, he wears red and gold makeup, what about it?) and he does not do things in halves and it’s a black suit in essence but then it’s adorned with all sorts of iron man jewelry that are actual working tech and he literally glows (bc of the tech, it’s a bombass look) and he hovers his way down the carpet so that he matches Steve’s height. And then there’s Steve. Who comes flying in with Tony, not a hair out of place, looking patriotic, hot as FUCK, and very heroic all at the same time. He looks like Prince Charming, it Prince Charming did CrossFit and defended ladies’ honor in his free time. He has this baby blue crushed velvet suit (tailored just the tiniest bit tight- the designers knew EXACTLY what they were doing) that in itself is pretty bold (it doesn’t have a cape or exposed biceps, but the bar is otherwise pretty low considering what most men wear to the met) but the whole thing is completed with little Swarovski crystal stars speckled all over it in homage to his suit )

or how about a designer au where Steve is a big time designer who practically revolutionized the business years ago okay (and he’s known for his incomprehensible youthful glow- seriously he’s like 50 something and still looks like he’s in his 20’s- and also known for his extremely private life) but his word is gospel in the designer community except lately he’s been getting really political and when met season comes around he makes the controversial choice of asking tony stark to wear his designs. While most designers are picking models and celebrities and influencers, Steve’s first choice is the controversial and newly outed iron man. He was famous before all the iron man stuff went down for being a shifty, genius weapons dealer with a penchant for ladies (and men), but his fame has skyrocketed after he saved the world a couple times. But with superheroing fame came a lot of naysayers, calling him a terrorist, a capitalist violence apologist so his reputation is kinda like a bomb at the moment everybody’s keeping their distance. Except for Steve Rogers apparently, who reaches out to him and asks Tony if he’ll allow him the honor of dressing him for upcoming met gala. And Tony’s always loved putting on a good show so he figures why not and does it and he looks great and he’s the talk of everything bc he’s so controversial (Tony absolutely eats it up) but there’s an important point where a member of the press interviews Steve and he asks him why he chose Tony when it was such a controversial choice and Steve gets patriotic as hell and defends the fuck out of Tony and later Tony’s like (“hey, thanks”) and Steve’s like (“anytime”) and then after that THEYRE friends and go on coffee dates and Steve stands by Tony while half the country makes his life hell

Bruce Wayne gets invited to the met gala every year and this year he wants to bring his boyfriend and Clark’s like idk that’s really public what if somebody notices I’m Superman but Bruce guilts him into it and he’s like look this is my life if nobody’s noticed by now you’ll be fine I promise and so billionaire Bruce Wayne brings some journalist nobody from metropolis as his date to the met and everybody is like ???? Who the heck is HE and when somebody from the press asks how they met Bruce says something “like he swept me off my feet” and Clark blushes bc they met when he was Superman and he was flying and saved Bruce or some stupid shit and everybody spots that blush and is like oh sweet country boy I love you and now the world is in love with Clark Kent but somehow still nobody manages to draw the connection between Clark Kent and Superman it’s ridiculous

alternatively, superman is invited to the met gala and while he thinks it’s a horrific idea Bruce is like “oh! I go every year! We can go together! make some trouble, eh?” And then they go and everybody is like why the FUCK are Bruce Wayne and Superman dating how the hell did that happen and the LOOKS OH MY GOD Clark would wear some super gaudy rendition of his Superman outfit he would go all out (because he’s not a fucking coward) and Bruce would be wearing Versace or something amazing and it’d be a simple black suit but with some wicked accents of some sort (maybe a cape??)

#catch me repeatedly calling out the cowards who wear basic suits THERES A THEME FOR A REASON YOU FOOLS FOLLOW IT #I miss the met gala :(((( #superbat #stevetony #avengers #Tony stark #Steve rogers #bruce wayne #superman #clark kent #batman #this really got out of hand I'm sorry there are so many words here I hope it doesn't hurt anybody's eyes #remember the other day when I said I have a 63k doc full of prompts??? this is how it happens. #(also peep my designer au obsession) #((I've written at least four full length designer au fics and I have ideas for them I can't explain it))

[not-close-to-straight]

Push-Ups (Stony)

Idk guys... I had a thought, I wrote a thing and I can fully admit this is ridiculous. Also it’s gets the tiniest bit nekkid near the end. 

THERE’S MORE STONY ON MY MASTERLIST!

***********************

It started out as a joke. 

“I can definitely do more push ups than Steve.” Sam said casually-- oh so casually-- over cereal one morning. “His muscles just look pretty, there isn’t any real strength there.” 

“You can definitely do more push ups than Steve.” Bucky casually-- just so fucking casually-- agreed, studiously ignoring the way Steve was coughing milk out his nose and swearing about how badly Trix tasted coming up the wrong way. “Your shoulders can carry the weight of the world, Steve’s are only there to balance out them ridiculous tiddies.” 

“Oh Sam can 100%, no questions asked, without even breaking a sweat, do more push ups than Steve.” Clint had to raise his voice over the ruckus Steve was making in the background. “Sams arms are like ebony pillars, Steve’s look like the supple limbs of an Irish milk maid who spends the afternoons staring at her reflection in ye olde river in the back of ye olde pasture.” 

“I can definitely do more push ups than Steve.” Sam decided. 

It started out as a joke. 

Then Steve yelled, “SQUARE UP MOTHERFUCKER!” 

And in between shouts of “Language Cap!” and Bucky congratulating Clint on a truly terrible comparison between Steve and ye olde Irish maiden and Natasha walking into the kitchen, surveying the scene and deciding she didn’t have the patience before walking back out--

--Suddenly it wasn’t a joke.

*****************

“Here’s how we’ll do it.” Clint drew up a graph in the living room later that day. “A week straight, two sets of push ups, morning and night. In a test of sheer endurance, the All American Energizer bunny over there can go for days. So we break it up, make it fair. Whoever can do the most amount of push ups in the time allotted for five days straight wins the contest. Captain America vs. Not Captain America.”

“Lets go.” Steve said immediately. “Right now Sam, throw down.” 

“Okay first of all?” Sam’s look was nothing less than highly judgmental. “I dunno what Tony has been doing to you that makes you think you gotta prove your manhood so quickly--” Steve squawked in horror and Bucky fell off the back end of the couch laughing. “-- but calm the fuck down. Second of all, Clint’s very pretty chart--”

“-- it is pretty, isn’t it?” 

“--it’s very pretty. Clint’s very pretty chart clearly says we aren’t starting till tomorrow. So take ten to twenty percent off the top there, get some sleep, maybe talk to your boyfriend about your insecurities, and I’ll see you in the morning.” 

“Hey!” Steve pointed a finger in Sam’s direction. “I do not have insecurities.” 

“Sure you don’t big guy.” Clint patted him on the shoulder. “Lots of men with no insecurities run around carrying big honkin’ shield and driving big flashy vehicles and wearing flashy uniforms. By the way you’ll notice I wear muted colors and drive a plain vehicle? There’s a reason for that.” 

“Oh yeah?” Steve retorted. “No insecurities? Which is why your mouth never stops running and every time you grab your bow you stroke it a few times and compliment it on being so big?” 

“I-- um-- well--” Clint gaped at him. “I mean---” 

“That’s what I thought.” Steve stomped past, calling back, “Tomorrow morning, Sam! Get ready to get your ass handed to you!” 

Bucky, Sam and Clint stood in silence in the living room looking down at the chart for a few minutes before Clint said, “I-- I only talk to my bow sometimes. You gotta take care of the things that take care of you, right? And I mean, it’s a big bow. Seems right I should compliment that, right?” 

“Yeah.” Bucky scratched at his head. “Wish you weren’t so fuckin’ awkward bro.” 

********************

Day one, and Steve hit the gym mat like a maniac, blowing through nearly three hundred pushups in five minutes, then doing it again that night. 

Sam took it slower, clocking in at a not-unimpressive hundred pushups in five minutes, then just about eight that night. 

Day two and Steve did it again, with JARVIS recording to make sure he was doing every single one of the three hundred he bragged about. Sam’s were recorded too but he was still humming about at an entirely leisurely pace with his work out. 

Day three was the same, as was day four, and when day five broke Steve was laughing in Sam’s face over breakfast. “I am up to twenty five hundred push ups, Wing boy.” he said triumphantly. “Twenty five hundred. How are you feeling putzing around at seven hundred and twenty three?” 

“Feeling just fine, Cap.” Sam said easily, calmly, suspiciously calmly but Steve was too busy boo-ing him to notice. “You know what they say, slow and steady wins the race. I bet you won’t even get twenty five done today.” 

“No one has ever called Captain America slow and steady about anything.” Steve declared and Bucky didn’t skip a beat answering, “Which is why Tony’s been calling you the minute man, huh?” 

“I-- He--” Steve’s jaw dropped. “I’m not-- I’m not a minute man! Tony is always satisfied with my-- how would you even--” 

“Yikes.” Sam whistled low. “That is some tough stuff right there, Cap. Tough stuff indeed.” 

“Tony calls me a minute man because I’m always up and ready to answer the call!” Steve shouted. “Not because I’m up and done in sixty seconds!” 

Sam cackled his way out of the kitchen and down to the gym with Sam in tow. Clint slurped loudly at his milk and raised an eyebrow at Steve. “Wish you weren’t so fuckin’ awkward bro.” 

“Damnit.” Steve scowled. “I wish I wasn’t so fuckin’ awkward either.”

*****************

“Hey baby.” Tony peeked his head in the gym nearly an hour later, just as Steve was getting ready to start his round of push ups. “You got a minute?” 

“For you?” Steve gathered Tony close, smooshing a kiss onto his lips. “Sweetheart, I have hours. How are you?” 

“Been missing you a little bit.” Tony admitted, cuddling tighter against him. “And I got done with my project early so I thought maybe we could....?” his hands strayed lower than was strictly necessary on Steve’s butt. “Hm?” 

“I would love that.” Steve said honestly, and maybe a little ferociously, still stung from the guys’ minute man comment this morning. “But I’ve got to finish these push ups real quick first. Five minutes then I’ll take you up stairs.” 

“Can I stay and watch?” Tony wanted to know, all big brown eyes and soft hair wearing nothing but leggings he’d stolen from Natasha and a hoodie that was obviously Bruce’s and oh god he was beautiful and perfect and Steve couldn’t have said no if he even wanted to. 

“I won’t get in the way.” Tony promised and stepped back a little bit so Steve could start. “Jesus Christ babe, I love the way your shoulders look when you do that.” 

“Yeah?” Steve slowed down a little, emphasizing the pull of his muscles beneath the tight shirt. “You like that?” 

“So sexy.” Tony reached out to touch, flattening his palm between Steve’s shoulder blades. “You are ridiculously sexy.” 

“So are you.” Steve paused to give Tony a lop sided, love sick smile. “I’m so lucky to have you.” 

“I’m so lucky to have you.” Tony returned and when Steve straightened his arms, Tony took the chance to wiggle onto the floor and right beneath him, smiling up at him impishly. 

“Babe, I can’t do push ups with you beneath me.” Steve said patiently. “I need four more minutes, come on.” 

“Sure you can.” Tony wiggled a little, spread his legs and bent his knees so they hugged Steve’s waist. “I’m not in the way, you still can get down all the way, it’s fine. JARVIS, can Steve still complete a full push up with me in the way?” 

“Yes sit.” JARVIS intoned. “Each motion would still be considered a full, legal push up based on the parameters set by Hawkeye.” 

“See, babe?” Tony’s grin was nearly devilish. “Still legal. Come on. I’ll even help you count.” 

“Tony.” Steve sighed but lowered his body anyway, eyes widening in surprise when Tony only moaned as they lined up, knees spread just enough to let Steve settle in the vee of his thighs for a few seconds. 

Oh my. 

“Tony--” 

“One.” Tony said smugly. “Got another in you, Spangles?” 

“Two.” Steve retorted and this time he pressed a little tighter when he came down. “Am I squishing you?” 

“Not even a little bit.” Tony’s breath caught on three and on four he lifted his hips to meet Steve halfway, rubbing against him languidly until Steve’s eyes darkened in interest. “Mmmm, five.”

“Six.” 

“Seven.” Tony slid his fingers into Steve’s hair and captured in a slow, heated kiss. “Keep going, babe.” 

“Eight.” Steve sighed over another kiss, sucking at Tony’s tongue and dragging his teeth over a full bottom lip.

“Nine.” Tony hooked his ankle around Steve’s calf and yanked down on the next one, keeping them pinned together for a few seconds. 

“Ten.” A groan when Steve felt how hard Tony was, the thin leggings doing absolutely nothing to disguise anything. “Tony.” 

“There’s my minute man.” Tony said smugly on eleven when he closed his hand around Steve’s cock, stroking him through the work out shorts. “Have I ever told you how much I love how ready you always are? Makes me feel good knowing I turn you on so fast.” 

“I knew that was why you called me minute man.” Steve huffed and kissed Tony’s look of confusion away. 

Twelve was less of a push up and more of a slow grind, and thirteen was a one handed push up, Steve’s other hand firmly down the back of Tony’s thotty leggings and squeezing greedily at the world’s best ass. 

Fourteen had Tony shoving Steve’s shorts down his legs and they both cursed at fifteen when their cocks slid together and sixteen had Tony proudly pulling a half used bottle of lube from Bruce’s his hoodie because he had definitely completely planned to get his boy friend nekkid in the gym. 

Seventeen was the worlds longest push up, as Steve stayed draped over Tony’s body for a good few minutes, gasping and panting as Tony stroked them together and eighteen wasn’t so much a push up as it was a thrust and no one would have called the next several dozen movements legal push ups at all, so they stopped keeping count. 

 And Steve definitely didn’t get in his usual three hundred push ups, but Tony was giggling and soft and satisfied and Steve didn’t care about the push up contest anymore. 

It wasn’t like he hadn’t won anyway, he could definitely enjoy Tony in his arms for a few more minutes. 

*********************

“The fuck do you mean I didn’t win!” Steve exploded. “I did two thousand, five hundred and eighteen push ups--” 

“--probably just two thousand, five hundred and seventeen if we’re being honest.” Tony cut in and Steve kissed him thoroughly before amending--

“--alright. Two thousand, five hundred and seventeen push ups. And there is no way Sam did more than that.” He maintained. “No fucking way.” 

“Okay, as you’ll see on my very pretty chart--” Clint pointed to his graph. “Cap, you did an impressive amount of push ups. And if you’d done your usual three hundred this morning and this afternoon, you probably would have won.” 

“Sam barely made eight hundred push ups.” Steve denied. “No way he beat me. He would have had to do two thousand push ups to beat me.” 

“Okay, but the contest was between Captain America and non Captain America.” Clint explained patiently. “And since technically anyone is non Captain America---” 

“I did two thousand push ups while you and Tony were busy in the bedroom doing that thing that makes you squeal like a stuck pig.” Bucky confirmed, then flexed his left arm. “Cyborgs for the win.” 

“I-- you-- what!?” Steve’s jaw about hit the floor. “Are you KIDDING ME! WHAT IN THE FUCK!” 

Then he swiveled around to stare at Tony, narrowing his eyes and scowling in only the way Captain America could. “Tony? Did they ask you to distract me today so they could win?” 

“Okay in my defense.” Tony held up both hands and Sam snorted a laugh. “In my defense, we’ve never actually fooled around in the gym, which is frankly ridiculous because you know seeing you sweaty gets me all randy. And I’ve asked and you’ve always told me now and-- and I just couldn’t pass up the chance to do it this time. If you’d told me yes before, this never would have happened. So if you really think about it, all of this is your fault.” 

“MY FAULT!” 

“Furthermore, I’d like to add that Bucky has very graciously allowed his name to be written as S-A-M for the purposes of this contest.” Sam butted in. “So if you look at Clint’s delightful chart, you will see that I, Sam, did in fact do more push ups than Captain America. Case closed, bet won, game set match, points to the Falcon.” 

“Which is only fair.” Clint added. “Seeing as how his arms are literal canons of goodness.” 

“Can confirm.” Bucky agreed. “Who wants to go for a run?” 

“Yeah, start running.” Steve had death in his eyes and Clint eeped and started backpedaling. “Because when I catch you --” 

All four were off like a shot, Sam screeching at the top of his lungs and Bucky dragging Clint along by his collar while Steve pounded after them. 

“Coast clear?” Natasha asked and Tony laughed at her. “I can’t believe you coerced Steve into gym sex just so Sam could win a bet.” 

“What do you mean you can’t believe it?” Tony rooted around in the freezer and pulled out a tub of his favorite ice cream, cracking the lid and handing Natasha spoon. “It was your idea.” 

“Hm.” Natasha took a big spoonful of the dessert. “I plead the fifth.”

*********************

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#ncts fics #stony #steve rogers #tony starks #clint barton #bucky barnes #sam wilson #natasha romanoff #fluff #funny

[margridarnauds]

002 orleans, 001 peyronan, lets GO

001 | Peyronan

when I started shipping it if I did: Funnily, it went under my radar for YEARS, because I. Did not care about Lazare at ALL. Did not even L I K E him. And the 1789 fandom, as a whole, was VERY anti-Ronan. You could not say ANYTHING positive about Ronan at that time. Then, during a stream of Zuka 1789 in June 2017 (THREE YEARS. WHAT THE FUCK? HOW HAVE THREE YEARS PAST?), I was like “Oh? O H? O    H  ?” and so It began. I started off with the idea of creating a contained series of drabbles, highlighting the two of them over the course of the musical. The idea was that it would essentially be PWP, disconnected, plotless, researchless, no feelings involved, no softening of Lazare, and would probably end at Ronan’s death. But, as I began working the concepts further, I realized that wouldn’t work, and within a few months of beginning the project, I started to call it “The Abomination”, due to it warping far, far out of my control. These days, a LOT of what I’ve written ties back to those original ideas for The Abomination, and a lot of the concepts used in Between the Waves started there (Printing Press being one of them.) 

my thoughts: THE BOIS. THE B O I S. My favorite totally canon ship. The two of them really do balance one another out really well, they’re the classic fire and ice combo (though, underneath Lazare’s ice, there’s fire, and underneath Ronan’s fire, there’s ice.) Ronan’s character arc begins and ends with Lazare, and there’s SOMETHING about him going to Paris with this idea of “Okay, I’m going to kill the Comte, take back my lands, and dance on the ashes of the old world” and then meeting Lazare and being like “...okay, new plan: Save this fucking disaster from himself”. There’s something about his arc going from hatred to love. And could this be done with Olympe as well? Yes, it could be. But, for me, I like the full circle happening with Lazare, since he did start this. Both of them have a Hell of a lot to learn from one another, there’s going to be a lot of grappling when it comes to establishing equality, a lot of sniping back and forth, but I also do think, legitimately, they could make one another happy. (And, Hell, even if they didn’t, that doesn’t mean it can’t be a fun ride.) 

What makes me happy about them: The general idea that the Comte de Peyrol, a cold-hearted, professional guard dog who probably never really even THOUGHT of love as something he could have, could melt for this revolutionary, no matter HOW slightly, enough to risk everything for a relationship. That, despite everything else, Ronan could love him back. That, even if only for a few months, they got to be HAPPY with one another. 

What makes me sad about them: The ending. The things that were left unresolved. It’s doubly sad in, say, the PLP universe, where Lazare really DID love Ronan with his entire heart, but Ronan really died without KNOWING the extent that Lazare was invested. And that Lazare will have to live the rest of his life, HOWEVER long that will be, thinking of how he destroyed the one person who ever gave a damn about him outside of what he could do for them. 

things done in fanfic that annoys me: Given that the fandom mainly consists of me + the various friends I’ve kidnapped into the fandom, there really ISN’T all that much? Like, I feel like the 1789 fandom, as a whole, is a fairly chill space (knock on wood.)

things I look for in fanfic: Existing is a lovely start. 

Who I’d be comfortable them ending up with, if not each other: I don’t MIND Camille/Ronan, Ronan/Olympe, or Olympe/Lazare. They aren’t FAVORITES in the same way, but I would probably read fanfic for it. And I have read fanfic for Ronan/Robespierre as well. 

My happily ever after for them: Lazare chooses to leave the Army after realizing that it’s destroying him, the two of them escape the worst of the Revolution together and go away, either to London or America (I. Doubt. That someone as high profile as Lazare could slink away to the country like a ton of other aristocrats did.) They live together more or less openly, Lazare deciding against taking a wife for convenience’s sake, and society is left to deal. In theory, they keep two separate bedrooms, but in practice? Yeah, that peasant boy is spending all his time in Lazare’s bed, and Lazare has no complaints. 

who is the big spoon/little spoon: See, I WANT to say “Lazare”. This has been my official stance for YEARS. That Ronan routinely cuddles up to Lazare (who had a very difficult time admitting that he, in fact, needs cuddles), and Lazare pulls his arm over him, protecting him, since we KNOW that Lazare tends to feel a deep sense of duty re: protecting the things most important to him, whether that’s the Crown or Ronan. BUT CONSIDER. BIG SPOON RONAN attacking from behind and Lazare getting to feel safe and secure for ONCE. 

what is their favorite non-sexual activity: Ronan likes Lazare reading to him. Lazare has a very warm, smooth voice, when he isn’t barking out orders. Ronan loves getting to cuddle against his shoulder or on his lap, Lazare stroking his hair with one hand and holding the book in the other, letting his voice flow over him. Lazare will sometimes (gently) chastise him for not listening to a single word he says, but it’s worth it to see Ronan at peace (and, in the case of at least a few of the works, it isn’t a particularly great loss, anyway.) 

002 | Orléans

How I feel about this character: Thotty, ambitious bastard who should NOT be this charismatic and yet somehow IS. Also right for a solid 60% of the musical. I’m trying to articulate all my thoughts but they are just variations on “SON” and “PROBLEMATIC”. 

All the people I ship romantically with this character: Margrid Arnaud. Arnaud, Margrid. The sister of Marie Antoinette. Street Gremlin. I can KIND of see Antoinette, in a very, very odd way. Less “I love you so now I’m going to destroy you” like the Hungarian did, more “We were friends, there were Undercurrents to it, Things happened to make them have some mutually hurt feelings, and being stung like that set up this Mood for things later on.” 

My non-romantic OTP for this character: I’m actually really interested in Louis & Orléans, as a relationship. Like, they were COUSINS. Something went deeply, deeply bad in their relationship at some point, and it totally ruined both of their lives. In another life, they might have been closer, but, with a throne between them....there was really no other way for it to end. 

My unpopular opinion about this character: The LOVELY thing about a fandom that consists of, like, three people on a good day is that IT’S MY SANDBOX. But, one thing that I do think is that it wasn’t really a straightforward Mnaipulator-Manipulatee relationship with Margrid. She signed on knowing fully well that she would get her hands dirty, Orléans TOLD her as much, and she wanted it, at the time. It didn’t really benefit him to conceal what they would be doing. The two of them just happened to drift to two different places over time. I’ve seen a certain....tendency to baby Margrid over her choices, because she DOES have a traumatic backstory, but...she can still be rather reprehensible as a human being herself. In the early stages of the musical, HE’D be more likely to hold her back from doing something awful as opposed to vice versa. I also do think that...he didn’t GO OUT intending to supplant Antoinette. That was formed after years of seeing her bungle ruling the country. You can even see it in M cast when Antoinette turns down Rohan’s attempt to make nice, where he has this very distinct “Oh....she DIDN’T....she did” face. That isn’t the face of someone who’s THRILLED that things are going according to plan, that’s the face of someone who’s realizing that there’s only one way for this to happen and for France to remain in one piece, and it’s for him to take the throne. 

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon: The problem with Orléans, as a character, is that at least in the Toho production, I DO think he’s fairly well done. It’s hard for me to REALLY see....what I wish could have happened. Because you kind of realize that there were only ever a few ways for this to end, and as the musical progresses, the available options just get narrower and narrower. It isn’t GOOD, but like....you UNDERSTAND how it happens. I do wish that he had more scenes with Margrid, obviously from a self-indulgent ship perspective. Not even in terms of “canonical makeout session” (since I almost feel like a canonical makeout session would ruin it), but in terms of him finding out that Marie was her sister and that THAT was where he went wrong, but also....I’m not sure how MUCH it would have ended, and there’s something to be said for the tragedy of him just never KNOWING why she betrayed him. That hurt, furious look on his face as he’s led away really is probably the best place to end their relationship on. I would have loved to have seen their second meeting, after Hébert convinced her to take the job, since it would have REALLY given a ton of groundwork for their working partnership and would have given them the chance to discuss their kind of disastrous first meeting.  Obviously, I would hope that he gets his head screwed on properly and he runs off with Margrid to America, where they end up living peacefully for many years and having children who are spoiled absolutely rotten, along with his other, legitimate children, who also flee to America. Philippe, being himself, naturally ingratiates himself to the new country, becoming very active in politics, and upon his summoning of his dear friend the Chevalier de Saint-Georges to America, the cause of Abolitionism is given a massive head start. It isn’t entirely France....or London, where Philippe’s heart will always lie, but it’s a nice existence, and his ego is suitably stroked by the American fascination with royalty. (He and Laz still have at least one near-duel, which is halted by their respective significant others.) 

my OTP: Morléans. Shockingly. 

my cross over ship: Never 5get @lochley fucking selling me on Marie/Olympe/Orléans. 

a headcanon fact: Part of why he has his ongoing snipefest with Fersen is that he’s bitter that Fersen was able to fight in the American Revolution while, in his case, after the Royal Family tossed him to the wolves after the Battle of Ushant, he was forced to remain in France and sit it out, and someone as active as Orléans could barely STAND it. (Also, along with Ronan, has SOME form of ADHD. He has a lot of plans, and one LARGER plan, but when it comes to things outside of that one larger plan? Yeah, he scurries around, chases after whatever seems good in the moment. It drives Margrid up a WALL.) 

#1789 les amants de la bastille #marie antoinette das musical #a-promise-that-i-keep

[princelettow-archive]

4, 5, 6, 8, 12, and 15 for catasharky and 3, 4, 5, and 6 for beccroix (i’m allowed to do 2 bc i love you)

ur allowed to do 2 because ur my best friend and i love u

under the cut because...Long

catasharky aka the two biggest morons in hoe county

4. Who is more likely to tell the other a pun and what is the other’s reaction to the pun?

Sharky tells puns all the time and Cata barely gets like 80% of them OR it takes her long enough so he thinks it has not been funny but then she starts laughing and he’s like “ok I still got it”. Honestly Cata just thinks he’s gotdang hilarious even if his puns are the worst so she always ends up laughing anyway. That’s why he can’t stop telling them, he just likes it when she laughs.

5. When one of them has a bad day, what does the other do to help cheer them up?

They just hang out together on the trailer park, climb up to one of the trailers, legs dangling and they drink beer and talk about whatever, mostly it’s just Sharky oversharing shit but it makes Cata laugh so she does forget about whatever it was that upset her. In Sharky’s case it’s mostly just her presence that cheers him up! She’s always there when he needs her and if she’s busy or at work she still takes at least a couple of minutes to send him a dumb text or call him to chat for a bit. If they’re at the trailer park she rests her head on his shoulder while he vents about what’s troubling him and she squeezes his hand to let him know she’s still listening and that she’s there for him.

6. If they got to pick what one another wears for a day, what would one another wear?

I mean...none of them are actually peak fashion sense so whatever they wear is going to be casual and comfortable because that’s the only thing on their wardrobes. Cata would get rid of his hoodie for once and maybe switch the look for a plain t-shirt + denim jacket with the sleeves rolled up (and NO baseball cap allowed, let her ruffle his hair!). Sharky likes it when she wears shirts with a few unbottoned buttons (but like...not too much, let’s not get thotty) and waist up jeans with plain sneakers! Casual...but make it fancy-ish!

8. In a coffee shop AU, who would be the coffee shop employee and who would be the customer?

Cata as the employee and Sharky as the guy who absolutely doesn’t like coffee but thinks the bartender is cute and pretends to like it just so he can talk to her a bit each morning. He sits like a buffoon with a cup of coffee he doesn’t even drink just because she’s the nice girl who always greets him with a smile!

12. When did they know that loved each other, and when did they first tell each other that they loved one another?

Ok wrow let’s see. Sharky probably crushed on her quickly because she’s just...a very warm and loving person and she knows how to make people feel welcome and comfortable and honestly she encouraged him to talk about things and never shut him down and actually remembered the things he told her and laughed at his jokes and he was like wow I can’t believe she’s the love of my life. For Cata it was...a bit weirder I guess? She probably didn’t even notice she loved him Like That until she talked to someone about it, she just thought he was a Very Good Friend! (Cata/Santi solidarity is that they’re both oblivious dumbasses)

Also the first time they said I love you to each other was like 2 days after becoming friends because Cata gave him half her nuggets and then he shared his soda with her.

15. Who would bring their partner on a romantic date under the stars?

Neither of them are the romantic type so they probably just happened to be outside at night and there were a bunch of star so it’s like wrow isn’t this romantic....totally planned....i just so happen to have a can of pringles we can share...as a romance meal. Really peak dumbassery.

beccroix aka my emotional support vampires

3. Who compliments the other in front of everyone?

They never hang out with anyone because L*cr**x has no friends other than Becca because he’s an ass but if they did it’d probably be Becca because he would only compliment her if they were alone because he’s just like that.

4. Who is more likely to tell the other a pun and what is the other’s reaction to the pun?

Sebby doesn’t have a sense of humour because it died with him like 200 years ago (if he ever had one!) so Becca is the one who tells puns (that don’t even make sense because you know, welcome to my malkavian twisted mind) and he either 1) ignores them because they were obviously not even funny or 2) was too busy gazing longingly into her eyes to even pay attention to it in which case he just looks stupid for a while

5. When one of them has a bad day, what does the other do to help cheer them up?

Seb doesn’t usually reach out to people when he’s had a bad day but if he’s had a particularly straining meeting or if he has lots of things on his mind he might send her an email (so short, impersonal and formal it almost seems like he’s calling for a staff meeting) and request her presence for some urgent matter (yeah that’s a lie) BUT Becca knows him and he never tells her to come so she shows up ready to start rambling about whatever and for some casual hand holding (that he only allows because it has proven to be good for concentration!). She also lets him ramble and vent about what’s been troubling him so by the time the night is over he feels better! It’s…surprisingly easy for Becca to cheer mousy up.

When Becca has had a bad day it usually shows. She doesn’t say it and you can’t really tell by looking at her face or listening to her talk but if you’ve known her for a while (which L*cr**x has, for better or worse) you start noticing things! She doesn’t wear her usual colourful (and hideously combined) clothing and if it’s been a rough week she’s probably sporting a very normal hair colour with no neon scrunchies. She usually keeps her troubles to herself (or only confides on Cass) so if she’s feeling lonely or sad she avoids going to Ventrue Tower altogether! BUT if they meet and Seb notices it (and he does notice it, all the time) he probably is the one to start conversations, asking her opinion or something or about her latest Hollywood adventure (he even asks her about her Toreador friend, even if just pronouncing her name leaves a bitter taste on his mouth, thanks Great Mural Incident of 2002).

6. If they got to pick what one another wears for a day, what would one another wear?“

Please don’t ever let Becca pick what L*cr**x has to wear unless you want him to call a blood hunt on her. IF she had to pick clothes from his own wardrobe (which is just identical suits and ties because he is Boring) she’d probably go for the most casual look she could find because she finds his slightly disheveled look to be very Cute. So ditch the suit jacket, shirt sleeves rolled up, no tie whatsoever and for the love of god go easy on the hair gel and let her mess it up a bit!

Mousy would, surprisingly, not try to make her look fancy. He complained nonstop about how she was an eyesore for a long time but now he just likes how she clashes with everything that surrounds him. He has a soft spot for her champagne pink hair dye or the pastel orange/peachy one (not that he would say it of course), particularly if she wears it loose or braided. As for clothing…her demin jacket with stars embroidered on it, black leggins and her favourite yellow sneakers. He probably can’t believe he’s picking that instead of a clean cut suit but imagining her wearing something so formal just feels wrong. 

#koroleyva #x: ride or die #x: lovesick #sorry i get asked about beccroix and i black out and go hog wild and the next thing i know i wrote a bible #long post #i am sowwy

[lovingwolfcub]

My Journey Part 8

So time for an update. I finally got tired of being scared and asked the question that has burning uppermost in my mind. Is he talking to anyone else.

The response “I am not”. Now don’t get me wrong. I know what you’re thinking ‘who in their right mind would say yes I am’? But of course this is where trust in it’s truest form comes in to play. If I doubt him now what is going to stop me from doubting him later when he comes home late from work? Or when he goes out with the guys and doesn’t come home until the next day? NOTHING! And if we’re honest with ourselves we know that without trust you don’t leave a relationship..

So I trust him when he says no. And I did this chaotic happy dance inside my head and soul while little happy mewling sounds snuck out of my mouth. (Because it’s very unbecoming to see someone do a chaotic happy dance while at work. Plus it could have become an hr or workers comp problem)

So I figured fuck it I’m already opening up and confessing so let’s tell the second secret I’ve been holding onto. So yes I told him that I love him. I did ease into this one a bit. Starting by saying my feelings had gone deeper. Then said how hard it was to come to grips with the fact that I love him when I’ve never even met him.

Now I can’t stop this little smile that’s playing with the corner of my lips. And no he didn’t say it back. And no I don’t need him to say it back at this time. I’m just happy knowing that he knows. It’s really sort of freeing not trying to hide these things. I can’t explain why. It’s not like it was anything serious, but then again I guess it was serious to me.

Everything you read about when it comes to a good relationship (be it a bdsm or vanilla) it all comes down to communication. So I guess it was bothering me more than I had realized that I wasn’t communicating these feelings with him.

It’s amazing how much has changed for me. I will admit I am a secret keeper. (In case it’s not obvious by the fact that I have cheated on my current boyfriend with every thought and effort possible put towards hiding it from him) And that’s just the broadest example. I mean I literally keep anything not life or death important from him just because I can. (Perfect example, I think) Last night we were calculating how much money we had to pay rent, which is 3 weeks past due, and we came up $15 shy. Now if I wasn’t such a secret keeper I could have just taken the last $15 I had and put it in and we would have made it. But my brain said “don’t tell him. Just wait until you get paid next week and pay it then”. Who the fuck does that?! Then again who the fuck sits on the hood of their car for 2 hours when they get off work just to not rush home?! A secret keeper. But again I digress. So it shouldn’t have been that big of a deal that I hadn’t shared with him how I feel or that I was concerned that he was possibly talking to someone else since our conversations had slowed down. But it was a humongous deal to me obviously. I feel so much happier and lighter of soul for having finally shared it. I was even feeling guilty for a little while even though I hadn’t realized exactly what it is was about. But I definitely do now.

So now it’s time for me to start cleaning up my side of things. Now as I get ready to type this I realize how, slutty, whorish or thotty this may make me seem but ask me if I care. I dare you. I DON’T So I have a person that I play with at work. And yes I say play not fuck. But that’s in the most literal sense of the word. We have actually fucked once. And attempted to twice more. (He was like a teenager with his first girl cumming before he ever got it in the last two times. In case you’re wondering why I say attempted.) But we do get each other off. Whether it’s me sucking him or him fingering me. And I will admit I’ve been kind of over it for awhile now. Just couldn’t see to find the right way to tell him. Now he’s gone for this week and it’s just so freeing to not have to think about him possibly wanting to play. Not getting all the messages from him. I know I have to take the time to figure out how I’m going to break it to him. I’m just not interested in playing with him anymore. Also have 2 old friends that I wanted to fuck that messages me sporadically. And it’s just not in me anymore to want to chat with them. I mean it’s not like anything has changed where I could fuck them if I wanted to. So I know it’s just flirting and bullshit but it’s almost becoming a chore to respond to them at this point. I’m even seriously thinking about deleting the dating app off my phone. And definitely going to try and find a way to delete the account as I’m tired of getting the notifications that someone has sent me a message or whatever.

Yep. Time to clean house and just live in the moment of loving this online Dom that I’ve never even met....

[spinningkong]

Qs

Do you prefer writing with black or blue pen?

Black, but I usually take a pack of multicoloured pens or fineliners to work to *mix things up* and because I’m an absolute madman. Also good for doodling

Would you prefer to live in the country or the city?

City, I guess.

If you could learn a new skill, what would it be?

Still wanting to learn a lot of languages. I’d like to be a polyglot one day.

Do you drink your tea or coffee with sugar?

Usually 2-3. I prefer honey though.

What was your favourite book as a child?

Not sure. I remember having “The Teddybear Baker” and loving that

Do you prefer baths or showers?

Showers, but nothing beats a bath sometimes.

If you could be a mythical creature, which would you choose?

I would say mermaid but the deep sea scares me to hell and besides fish, the rest of sealife is terrifying. So idk, maybe an angel or something like that so I can fly.

Do you prefer reading paper or electronic books?

Paper

What is your favourite item of clothing?

I don’t really have one. I have an old vest I wear for bed which has the Union Jack on it and it makes my tiddies look amazing (Marco and Lou can vouch seeing me wear it on video), and it doesn’t fit well but it makes me feel sexy I guess, also like Geri Halliwell.

Do you like your name? Would you ever change it?

I like my name starting with A, since it’s the first letter in the alphabet it’s easy to find my name in places, and it’s the first character, so obviously the most important, duh. Andy looks and sounds like a cute name. Kinda hate my surname, Everyone adds an ‘e’ to it, and it just sucks.

Who is a mentor to you?

My parents and auntie can offer some helpful advice sometimes but I mainly teach myself if I’m honest...

Would you ever want to be famous? If so, what for?

Maybe. I’d like to be famous for being good at something or representing something, not just for being some slag’s sister

Are you a restless sleeper?

No

Do you consider yourself a romantic?

I guess. I feel I’m at a point where I’m considering looking for love and open to it but I’m not sure.

Which element best represents you?

Fire

Who do you want to be closer to?

I thought I wanted to be closer to my Dad but right now I’m not sure about that. I  kinda wish I was closer to my cousins but feel they’re kinda not bothered even though I try and reach out. At least I can say I tried

Do you miss someone at the moment?

Yes

Tell us about an early childhood memory.

Loving QVC, Shania Twain, and The Witches of Eastwick, being gay as hell without even knowing what it meant

What is the strangest thing you have eaten?

I tried fish roe this month, didn’t like it.

What can you see outside your bedroom window?

Across from my house are my neighbours and there’s a DILF there who rides a bike and is scruffy and tall and built bc sometimes he works out in his driveway garage gym and I try not to look through my window while playing videogames lol

What are you most thankful for?

My health, I’m overweight but mostly healthy so far

Do you like spicy food?

Yes. I still love getting a korma, but spicy curries, sauces, etc, yes. I cook spicy food a fair bit tbh (especially with my URL being gochugaru)

Have you ever met someone famous?

Not really

Do you keep a diary or journal?

No. Keep meaning to

Do you prefer to use pen or pencil?

Pen

What is your star sign?

Aries

Do you like your cereal crunchy or soggy?

Crunchy

What would you want your legacy to be?

“He got to platinum in Overwatch one time, he will be missed”

Do you like reading? What was the last thing you read?

I don’t read books, nearly bought American God after finishing the show but I’ll just wait until next season instead

How do you show someone you love them?

I say it. I’ll spoil you, cook for you, buy something for you with you in mind. Support you, read the eyes out of you when it counts, tell you you have lipstick on your teeth or need to put on some deodorant. Solo rez you in Overwatch or run into the open for you in PUBG. I’ll make this bussy yours. I’ll take time for you, and make time for you. Kiss yuh, hug yuh. Make ya laugh. Be there when you need me. Be a shoulder to cry on. Tell it like it is. Listen to you. Be faithful to yuh. Sing your graces to people. Be open with you. God I’m so mushy aren’t I.

Do you like ice in your drinks?

Hmmmm, yes.

What are you afraid of?

Spiders. Losing weight and having loose skin and not having enough money to tuck it. Losing our house because we can’t keep up the payments. Also me being stuck here unable to ever move out and get on my feet

What is your favourite scent?

Vanilla, coffee, idk

Do you address older people by their first or last name?

First

If money was not a factor, how would you live your life?

Move the fuck out, get my own place in a city, start living bc right now im not

Do you prefer swimming in pools or in the ocean?

Swimming pools

What would you do if you found $50 on the ground?

Take it, probably use it on food

Have you ever seen a shooting star? Did you make a wish?

Idk

What is one thing you would want to teach your children?

Don’t trust Capcom’s lies

If you had to have a tattoo, what would it be and where would you get it?

I wouldn’t, bc tattoos are kinda gross to me, on white people especially. No ty, I think most people get them just to be *interesting* or do something ~wild~ tbh but they only rly look good if you’re samoan or maori, or a yakuza member, otherwise, stop.

What can you hear right now?

I’m listening to Pokemon Stadium music bc it’s so good

Where do you feel the safest?

Home

What is one thing you want to overcome/conquer?

My loneliness I guess

If you could travel back to any era, which would you choose?

Roman bath houses tbh, this thottie would be gettin all the d tbh, but also probably all the infections bc they were also apparently not emptied frequently so...

What is your most used emoji?

Probably the eyes

What is your favourite season? Why?

Spring i guess

How would you spend your ideal day?

Dick, videogames, food

Describe yourself using one word.

fat

What do you regret the most?

lots of things :) not doing better in uni or pushing myself i guess

Invent your own word. What does it mean?

joosy, since apparently it’s rly funny to Lou and idk why

#q