#throw my laptop into the pond

[zeawesomebirdie]

This is probably just me not knowing how to utilise google correctly but WHY is it so hard to find Western novels about gay men that aren't romance novels

#vent post #not actually a vent lmao but thats the tag #like look #what i WANT to read is basically just; #gunsmoke. except the marshal is gay. nothing else is different #the rest of the story is normal #the focus is not the romance #and WHY is this SO HARD to find!!!! #like COME ON #yes this is user error i dont understand how to google things since they changed the algorithm to be all ads and whatever #but trying to add queer or mlm or whatever to the keyword searchs just brings up romance #and i will not object at all to romances that are a part of the plot #i just #i dont want to read straight romance #i would like to read about cowboys and gunmen and whatever Wild West things bc that is why i am here #and itd be nice if the romance was gay instead of het #ugh #anyway im gonna have to bother the librarians next time i go to the library bc if i have to write this myself i am going to #throw my laptop into the pond #if anyone has any queer and/or mlm western novels to rec lmk pls i need to read things or i will perish

[cannedpickledpeaches]

Insert Your Name (5)

Mafia!Jade Leech x Mafia!Reader

Link to part one, two, three, four, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven, twelve!

Notes and TW: Overthinker reader having a conversation with Mr. "Just Trust Me" Jade Leech. This series will have mentions of blood, violence, crime (kidnapping, attempted assassination, extortion), and harassment, as one might expect from a mafia AU. Please enjoy!

Tags: @guava-writes @itszzmoon @twstsandturns @myteacupisempty @rou-luxe

“Would you like some tea?”

Jade offers you a cup of something that smells like lavender. You shake your head.

“I’m okay.” You turn your attention back to your screen. He sets the cup and saucer next to you anyway. “Who knows, maybe you’ve put a suspicious substance in it.”

“Is it so hard to believe that I can do something out of the kindness of my heart?”

You chuckle and shake your head. “You? Absolutely not. Give an inch and you take a mile.”

There’s a beat where he doesn’t reply. You look up at him, wondering if you’ve said something strange, but his back is turned as he walks to his seat. When he turns back around to settle in his chair, his expression stills like a frozen pond. Perfectly crafted, carefully unreadable.

A few hours have passed since his phone call. You’ve decided to work in Jade’s office today, thinking that you might get a clue or a burst of inspiration if one of the subjects of your thoughts is in close proximity. He doesn’t seem to mind. If anything, his quiet hums and constant catering to your needs indicates that he’s rather pleased. Aside from the cup of tea releasing a wispy veil of steam, there’s also a plate of cookies and a bowl of cherries on his desk beside you.

“A penny for your thoughts?”

You close your laptop and sigh. There are too many to count, all swirling in your head without rest.

“Still thinking about what you told me this morning.” You don’t want to address the bigger issue—that (Y/N) apparently forgot who you are—so you start small. “I didn’t expect you to actually fall asleep.”

“Neither did I.” Jade frowns in thought. “I imagine it is a result of too few hours of sleep throughout the week.”

“Even so, you said it yourself. You can’t sleep around strangers.” You drum your fingers on the desk. “Maybe you actually do feel at ease around her.”

“That is not the case.” His voice carries certainty that surprises you. When you glance at him, you notice that his mouth is set in a firm line. “I was quite unsettled when I woke up.”

“Huh.” You can imagine it. His shock at his lapse in vigilance. But even so, no matter how tired he is, he has never made this sort of blunder before. “I guess there’s a first for everything.”

A shadow passes over his face. He stands next to your chair and leans over you. His eyes stare straight into yours—piercing mismatched eyes with an almost magnetic pull.

“I will ask you the same question as last night. Do you really believe that manuscript is a reflection of things that will certainly come to pass?”

Your heart jumps. Is he using Shock the Heart? But a few seconds pass, and no words leave your lips. This is not his Signature Spell. This is Jade Leech asking you a sincere, serious question. Besides, you have no reason to lie.

“Like I said, I don’t know—”

“Then don’t talk and act as though it is.” Is that frustration in his voice? He maintains eye contact with you, and you feel as though you can’t look away. “I, for one, think a predetermined future is horribly boring. My actions dictated for me, every event predictable . . . . I would sooner abandon it all and throw caution to the wind. The only reason why I am following the manuscript is because it outlines a way to restore my parents’ health.”

His sentence ends on half a breath, as though he originally intended to say more. He doesn’t. You wait, but nothing comes out.

“And?”

He kneels beside your chair, no longer towering over you or crowding your space. When he speaks again, he is quiet. But in the silence of his office, you hear it clear as day.

“And because that is what you want.”

Many history textbooks praise the Sea Witch for her spells and potions. One of the most famous ones took away a mermaid’s voice. You wonder if this is what that mermaid felt like. A storm of thoughts, but none able to be processed by your vocal chords. Parted lips that leak no sounds. You stare, nonplussed.

Eventually, you manage to let out a breathy, barely-heard whisper.

“What?”

His Adam’s apple bobs. “That is the truth. If that is what you wish for, then I will do my best to live up to your expectations. I know your good friend (Y/N)’s life is difficult. I know you think that by following this manuscript, everyone will be happy, because that is what it says will happen.”

You continue staring. The words seem to pass through you. It’s as though you are sitting in a dream, your surroundings wavering and surreal. What is he saying?

“The truth is that I could simply care less about (Y/N). She is at most an acquaintance. The reason why I give her special treatment is because I know she is precious to you.” He keeps rambling. You get the sense that he has been keeping quiet about this for a while. “As for the matter concerning my parents. If we follow the story, there is still no guarantee that they will be cured. Even you said you do not know if the manuscript’s plot will certainly come to pass. If Vil Schoenheit refuses to help my family, we will think of another way. He is not the only alchemist or curse expert in the world.

“I will follow what you want. But do not ask me to fall in love with (Y/N). That is the one thing I cannot do.”

“Why?” Your brain feels like porridge. Nothing seems to be getting through it. You cannot reason out a single thing. Isn’t (Y/N) created to be loved? Aren’t they written to fit like a glove on each other’s fingers? You’ve read the story. There doesn’t seem to be a particular reason why the Jade in the story obsesses over her aside from spending time together. It doesn’t actually matter. It’s the author’s will that their love is written in the stars—and the pages of that damn manuscript. It’s the point of the entire plot. “Is there something you don’t like about her?”

“Do I need a reason for failing to fall in love?”

Your mind blanks. Does he need a reason? He has a similar line in the manuscript. Do I need a reason for falling in love? If you think about it, isn’t it the same? No matter how you try and reason out the answer, love is not a puzzle with a logical answer. There is no formula, no recipe, no surefire step-by-step manual that you can follow to ensure success. Sometimes a spark causes a flame, and sometimes it sizzles out and dies. There is nobody to blame for either outcome.

You can’t wrap your mind around it. Why. Why. Why. Your brain, constantly overflowing with thoughts, cannot leave this topic to rest. A puzzle without an answer leaves you feeling antsy. Not knowing everything is a sin to your conscience.

“That doesn’t make any sense.”

“That is how love tends to be.”

An unsatisfactory answer. You dig your nails into your palm.

“Then answer me this. Why do you follow what I want? Is it because I’m interesting? No, that’s not right. You just said following a pre-written script is boring, and that’s exactly what I told you to do. I don’t understand.”

“The script is boring. You are anything but.”

“Me? What have I done?”

He smiles, then, one wholly different from his polite masks or his teasing grins or even his unhinged laughter. It’s an expression you associate with the times he talks about his interests. The expression that blankets and scatters across his countenance like orange rays of the setting sun over ocean waves. A quiet and calm beauty. A fondness that he rarely allows to be seen.

“Did you know that when you have much on your mind, you look up to the sky? That is why you prefer rooms with windows. The attic in my home that you love so dearly is one such room, and you spend all your time there nestled on the window seat. On that topic, you prefer small spaces because it helps you feel secure while you think. This is because you tend to zone out, and it is easier to defend yourself when no threats can appear behind you.”

“Uh, this is more like a behavioural report than a reason.”

“I do adore observing your behaviour. Particularly when you are lost in thought. I find myself wondering what you’re thinking about. If you’ll share them with me. But oftentimes, you do not trust me enough to do so.”

You swallow hard. “It’s hard to.”

“Why is that? I’ve known you for fifteen years. Floyd has known you for just as long, Azul a little less. (Y/N) has only known you for one year. So why can’t you trust me?”

You fiddle with your fingers, no longer capable of meeting his gaze. This kind of outburst is not something you expected from Jade. How long has he been thinking this way?

“I can’t tell what’s going on in your head. That’s why. Everything you say or do just gives me more to think about. If you’re being genuine or not, if you’ll suddenly decide to turn on me, things like that.”

Hurt flashes in his eyes. His smile shifts from fond to rueful and raw desperation permeates his shaky voice. It sounds brittle, as though a well-aimed push would shatter it into infinitesimal pieces.

“Is it so inconceivable that I could do things for you without ulterior motives?”

You look away. “Only until it no longer serves your interests or amuses you. Even if I can’t trust you fully, I’m sure there’s at least some level of it between us. I mean, we see each other regularly. I even let you drive me home.”

“Yes, but I am afraid I am a greedy man. Anyone else turning their back on me would be tolerable, but you—if it’s you . . . . At least promise me this. Even if I turn on the entire world,” he declares quietly, “promise you will trust that I will not betray you.”

You open your mouth as though to reply. Nothing comes out. You try again, your fingers gripping your knees tightly.

“I think we’re too similar. We’re both too cautious. We both think too much. Because of that, I can’t let my guard down around you.”

“Yet that is exactly what fascinates me.” He places a hand over yours. “Trying to decipher your thoughts, wondering about the motivations behind your actions, these are all things I find myself enthralled by. Your brutality and decisiveness towards that which would benefit you, but your willingness to do anything for the people dear to you. Your cautious nature as you execute your bold plans. Every time I think I have you pinned down, I only unearth another layer. The mystery intrigues me. On the other hand, I cannot help but wish you would trust and open up to me a little more.”

“That’s contradictory.”

“I cannot help it.” He smiles wryly. “I am contradictory by nature, as are you.”

You study his hand that engulfs yours. Cool to the touch. Ungloved, too. You muster your resolve.

“Then promise you won’t lie to me.” You finally lift your gaze until it returns to his eyes. Clear eyes that have been by your side for years. The eyes of a liar and schemer. Ironic for the one who wields a Signature Spell that forces out the truth. But these are the eyes of Jade Leech, and you won’t try to make him be someone he isn’t. “Lie to everyone else, I don’t care. But don’t lie to me. You can try to trick me or give me half-truths. I’ll figure them out on my own. If I still get fooled, that’s on me. Just don’t outright lie.”

The pounding of your heart fills your ears. Then, it is replaced by the sound of his quiet laughter.

“I expected nothing less from you.” He brings your hand up to touch his cheek. It only lasts a moment before he lets go and stands back up, returning to his seat. “I give you my word. I will never lie to you again.”

You look at the teacup on the desk, the lavender tea inside now cooled. The untouched cookies and cherries. A soft clink rings out as you take the teacup and bring it to your lips. Sweet and fragrant. Even cold, the tea Jade brews is impeccable.

#twisted wonderland #disney twst #jade leech #twst fanfic #twst jade #twst x reader #jade leech x reader #multi chap fic #mafia au #jade promised to brew a relaxing tea last chapter #lavender tea promotes sleep and stress relief #even if you don't drink it the scent helps #so he wins whether you drink it or not #slow burn

[thewitchwannabe]

Sneaking in (ninja style!)

The plan was simple enough, sneak in, get any information they could find on whatever the purple dragons were building, get out. Master Splinter even accepted their little endeavor. And so Leona stood on the top of the rooftop with her siblings and their two human allies. The plan was simple; the four turtles would sneak into the mechanical shop that worked at one the dragon’s hideouts, to find anything as to what they are doing with the tech. Casey will provide the getaway distraction, while April oversees the whole thing through the security cameras around. Donny set April up with their laptop and a headset with a microphone, “you have 6 cameras to watch over, you can double click on any of them to freeze the video for a few seconds, but if everything goes right you won't even see us”. 

April nodded with a confident smile, Casey crouched next to his childhood friend to look at the screen. His mind seemed to get a thought as his lips pulled into a tight line trying not to say. “Jones, don't you dare” April warned, but it was completely ignored. “Oh my gawd it's just like fnaf!”, the vigilante said. The two humans burst out laughing, quickly joined by Mikey who also thought the joke was hilarious. Donny, Raph and Leona stood watching the scene, with mostly amused smiles. Leo walked closer, placing her hand on Mikey’s shell, “according to the research Donny made, the opening should be happening in a few minutes so we gotta get moving”, she said “Casey you stay with April until we give the signal, alright?”

“You got it, blue” The human boy said with a sly smile. Leo felt her cheeks warm up at the nickname, but quickly went back into leader mode, instructing her siblings to follow her. The four ninjas jumped from the window with practiced ease.

The back door of the mechanical shop opened revealing a rookie member carrying two trash bags. From the shadows of the alleyway, four pairs of white eyes watched the unaware guy as he opened the trash bin. A fast shuriken shot from the shadows, creating cuts in both bags, making all the contents spill onto the floor. Making use of the distracted guy and the unlocked door, the four turtles slipped inside the building. 

The building had two stories, one used for the actual mechanic stuff, having different cars and car pieces around the first floor. While the other was offices and storage rooms. Or at least that's what they appeared to be. In reality it was more like the purple dragon's little club house. Leo spotted about twelve guys scattered across the floor, with only three of them actually working on a green van.

Carefully the ninja made their way to the second floor. A hallway of doors in front of them, one of said doors busted open as a clearly intoxicated guy walked out. The guy didn’t even see the turtles as they quickly climbed onto the ceiling and into a vent. Making their way through the air ducts, they looked through and counted another 6 gang members chilling and drinking around the place. But nothing that looked important. That is until Raph signaled at the vent he was checking. It lead to a sort of office. Two figures stood inside, the bigger one, that Raph recognized as Hun talked loudly.

“Those Foot bastards are holdin’ up on us, only giving us Baxter used stuff.” The gang leader said picking up some sort of machine and throwing it against the wall.

The other guy was of a darker complexion, clearly fit but significantly smaller than the huge Hun. “I still don’t get why we need them, we’ve been doing perfectly fine on our own,” the guy said, not even flinching at Hun’s actions. 

“Cuz right now we’re only small pond fishes, Xever, but with the stuff those ninjas can get us, we’ll be able to expand even further” Hun explained rather angrily. 

The guy, Xever, rolled his eyes at Hun. “So did you have anything important to say or did you just come here to talk shit about our sponsors?” 

Hun narrowed his eyes at Xever, as he walked over to the smaller man. Towering over him he roughly pushed something none of the turtles could make out into Xever’s chest. “Shredhead wants to meet with us” he said “Don’t be late”

Xever looked as Hun walked out the room, before pocketing the object. “Whatever you say boss” he said before following behind the gang leader. 

The office room was left silent and completely abandoned. Donnie asked April to freeze the video of the room before the youngest turtle busted the vent and jumped down, quickly followed by his siblings. The room was filled with blueprints and what looked like unfinished prototypes. Donny quickly got to work scanning the blueprints, quickly followed by Mikey completely destroying them. Leo and Raph looked through the boxes finding similar machines as the ones they got with Casey. Once he was done, Donny tossed Mikey a tiny mic, “Place it somewhere they don't see it” they instructed. The orange banded turtle gave a joking salute and went to find the perfect spot.

Donny reached his other siblings inspecting two almost completed models of the robot depicted in the blueprints. “We’re taking those, it’s much more finished than the ones we have in the lair”, Leo gave a sharp nod and went to pack the robot and a few spare parts into boxes. Raph looked up at the vent they had used to get it, and then back at the rather large boxes. “I don’t think we’ll be able to fit those through the vents”. Mikey appeared suddenly leaning heavily against his younger brother, who tried to swat him away only getting a chuckle from the other turtle. “I think Raphie is right guys” he says finally letting go of his brother.

The older sibling looked at the vents and then back at each other, silently agreeing. They agreed that they were going to have to get out the “normal way”, aka actually using the hallways. But doing so while carrying two big and heavy boxes and not being spotted by the approximately 20 gang members inside the building was not exactly easy. Luckily they had a distraction at the ready. Leo pressed her fingers to the earpiece, “Hey Case, time to do your thing” she said. The line turned to static for a second before Casey’s voice resonated in Leo’s earpiece, “Roger that, preciosa”. Despite not knowing what he had called her, the playful tone of the vigilante’s voice made her face warm up. Her mask hiding the small blush that formed on her cheeks. 

April informed them that Casey, now decked out with his mask, hockey bag filled with sports equipment and a pair of roller blades, had gone out to the main entrance of the mechanic shop to rile up the gang, with somewhat disturbing efficiency. Easily getting Xever and the whole gang inside the building to come out. Which correlated to the turtles hearing how the people in the second floor ran out their respective rooms. Waiting a few seconds to make sure everyone was gone, the four ninja carefully slipped out of the office. As they reached the first floor, they noticed the garage door wide open. Outside stood the gang members surrounding Casey. The gang was rowdy and impatient, ready to jump on the teenage vigilante.

Xever held a hand up, telling his guys to calm down “Go home garoto, Hun is already gone, so no need to beat you up” he said.

“What's wrong? Not so tough without your boss around, huh?” Casey loudly teased. Xever stood in front of the vigilante with an annoyed look. 

“You do realize we drastically outnumber you right?” Xever asked

“You do realize half your guys are completely drunk right?” the vigilante retorted 

The turtles knew exactly where the human’s little conversation was going, so they got back to action. They were almost at the door they entered through, when Donny spotted the green van sitting in the workshop. “I got an idea, go help Casey!” Donny said, running to the van with one of the boxes. Quickly picking up on Donny’s idea, Leo dropped her own boxes next to the vehicle and instructed her brothers to follow her. As the turtles start making they way towards their friend Xever brings down his hand, telling his people to go at Casey. 

The vigilante used his rollerblades to quickly evade the attacks coming at him. Many of them were sloppy, and unrefined as they tried to fight their own intoxication. Pulling his hockey stick, Casey blocked and hit his opponents. But he became predictably outnumbered, as the gang came in closer. Suddenly a fast blur that knocked out several goons appeared before him. “You really do know how to make an entrance blue”, Casey said. The turtle turned to face her friend with a confident smile and both swords drawn. “Not just me”, she said and as clockwork two more figures joined them, Mikey and Raph beating their way to them. 

The four stood with their backs against each other as the dragons quickly surrounded them, everything stood still for a second before one of the goons yelled “Get them!” and the fighting resumed. The four vigilantes took on the onslaught of gangsters, while Donny worked on hijacking the van in the mechanic shop. Casey used his great variety of equipment to attack his opponents, keeping them at a hockey stick length, while he used his rollerblades to skate around them and place a solid hit. Mikey jumped around the battlefield, mocking and teasing the drunken goons, easily avoiding their sloppy attacks and returning fast and hard hits with his chucks. Raph stood closer to his brother, taking on the guys that were left stunted from a nunchuck to the face, using his sais to bring them down. Leona was elegant as always, moving light on her feet like a butterfly, swiftly disarming her opponents as well as assisting both her brothers and Casey when needed. 

Xever stood back watching the fight, finally seeing the turtle freaks Hun had told him about with his own eyes. He dodges a few of his stumbling men as they walk off the hits they got and makes his way to the center of the fight. He pushes his way through until he’s face to face with the masked vigilante one again. “So little Armando really is friends with freaks”, he said, taking a hold of the baseball bat heading his way. Casey immediately dropped the bat and fell to his knees allowing Leo to jump on his back to attack Xever. The sword managed to grace Xever’s leg as he moved out the way. The two teens stood side by side, Leo gripped her katana tighter as Casey pulled out a golf club. Xever looked around to see most of his guys laying on the floor semi unconscious. 

Just as he was weighing his options, from the open garage a van rolled out at max speed towards them. Making a large drift it surrounded the group and got behind Casey and the turtles. Behind the wheel was Donny and April who had made her way to the mechanic shop while everyone was distracted with the fight. Leo signaled for Mikey and Raph to get in the van. The younger turtles gave their opponents a final hit before quickly getting in through the van’s back door. Once his little siblings were aboard Donny shifted the gear into reverse and back away and onto the street at a somewhat moderate pace. 

Leo and Casey stood back not making sure they weren’t trying to follow them. Leona shot three shurikens at the guys trying to go for their own vehicles, while Casey rounded the still conscious goons with his skates. Xever could only look as the group of teens left his group in shambles. Leo looked back at the van seeing it a little further down the street with the back doors fully open. “Casey! let’s book it!”, she said, deming her opponents effectively defeated and her siblings at a safe distance. Both her and Casey started running after the van which slowed down a little after seeing them approaching. Using his rollerblades to move faster Casey caught up to Leo “Let’s go preciosa!”, in a swift move lifted her from the ground bridal style. Leo’s eyes went wide open and her face warmed up as the vigilante held her tighter. Casey made sure to turn his head back at Xever who was watching them get away, and stuck his tongue out mockingly. It didn’t take long for the two of them to catch up to the moving van. Casey dropped Leo inside as gently as he could and was quickly pulled up by the oldest turtle. 

They looked back at the mess of purple dragons laying in the street, Xever looking rather pissed. Casey could help but smirk at their handiwork, “Hey blue, wanna learn some spanish?” he asked. Leo looked at her human friend and nodded with an amused look. The vigilante took a deep breath and yelled “CHINGUEN A SU MADRE!”. From the front seat Leo heard April burst out laughing, quickly followed by Casey and her sibling. She copied Casey’s deep breath, and tried her best to repeat what Casey had said. Knowing very well it was most likely a curse word but not finding it in herself to care, as she was filled with adrenaline and joined the human’s laughter. Quickly followed by her siblings. She and Casey closed the van’s door, big smiles plastered on their faces. Leona felt her face warm up in a way that was becoming rather familiar as she laughed with Casey. The teens rode on their new van back to the lair to celebrate their successful mission.

Part 1

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#witchie art #digital art #tmnt #new destiny au #tmnt new destiny #tmnt leo #tmnt donnie #tmnt mikey #tmnt raph #tmnt april o'neil #tmnt casey jones #transfem leo #caseynardo #were getting blushes! #and cute nicknames

[sleepyowlwrites]

FTWT CCCLXXXIV-VI

yeah that's right. a three in one. that's 'cause this ornamental sword came with an ornamental shield and a ceremonial dagger and I can't break up the set. anyway the tags say they're from @zmwrites @diphthongsfordays and @on-noon

play (swamp, soup, pond, 2018)

My brain is a pond It always has been With lily pads for little frogs To play their games on and in And sometimes things go smoothly And sometimes they fall apart Sometimes my frogs have maybe A little too much fun with my heart The pond is often messy And frogs throw my stuff around But in the end it's still my brain And I prefer it this way: Unbound.

step (don't run with scissors, 2011)

But just as I was coming through the door I tripped There's a step there that I missed And those scissors They jabbed me Skipped my fingers and went for my knee Left an ugly slice in my jeans That's what you get for running with scissors

miss (one breath, 2015)

We said, one day We'd be stars in the sky Holding hands, in space We'd illuminate the night Now that day, it's gone And you left without me I'm lonely, I'm torn I miss having you beside me

scramble (hurried, 2014)

All the cars are useless, all the airplanes walk All the pigeons scramble before they are crushed All the people worry and laugh and sigh All the people know is how to die

dirt (jasper and juniper, 2022)

At the elbow crook of the valley there's a spring with calcite at the base, pink and yellow glittering up through the water to dance in our eyes. We dip our pots in and pull them back covered in ice. When we put down dirt with our long-stride boots as we hike back up to the houses, the ice melts and soaks into our skin.

soul (I feel purple inside, 2012)

I feel like my soul is purple And it would rhyme with orange Then suddenly it was silver Because everything was turning over And over, And over, Again

ocean (stars of the indigo sky, 2013)

You never know just how deep the sky is until you stare and stare and then realize that you can never see through to the end. And midnight isn't blue, but it's not black either. It's indigo, with a depth that sinks down into your eyeballs until the whole world is tinted rich purple-blue. On and in that indigo sea float the stars. The tiny spatters of light spread across the whole of the ocean sky and far up into it, glowing from generations away. Still, they always hear me when I need to talk, offering an empathetic shine.

busy (little laptops, 2011)

Little laptops in the skyscrapers Little laptops on the sidewalks Set on desks or inside bags Of the busy little people They went to the university To make something of their life But now they type on laptops And they all look just the same

hoping (to know your enemy, to know serenity, 2021)

present your weapon, meet me outside if you were hoping for something then put all your dreams aside

fit (you, a spectator, and I, a spectacle, 2020)

somebody painted the house today and I don’t like it. it feels clean and covered up, like it wasn’t fit to be seen before. but I saw it, I saw all of it (all of it, all of it): every crack and every blemish, every detail left behind by someone afraid to let go.

home (the dearest thing, 2016)

Something like arms is holding me close It's warm and it's comfortable, I love it the most The sweater that smell so exactly like you You're my home and my heart, and I love you

caught (my winter song to you, 2011)

I'd like to hear a song from my own mouth I'd like to hear some beautiful sounds I'd like to know that my own words Caught a person on the street who heard

compare (the book of lost lyrics, 2020)

Fend off the cold with angel’s warm glow The twinkle of stars floating like a halo “Stop comparing me to space dust” But you are so beautiful

lose, lesson, light, late. BONUS: lever, likely. a handful of petals of pressure tags for @etjwrites @sleepy-night-child @drippingmoon @vellichor-virgo @monstrouswrites @author-a-holmes OR ANYBODY

#find the word tag

[beefrobeefcal]

Oh my gosh I totally get the boundary issues stuff, my kids would be all over me if I started doing ANYTHING on my laptop, they're already like it when I'm on my phone so it has to be after their bedtime before I can start hammering the keyboard 😂

Despite me selecting the "get on with it" poll option please don't hate me, I'm only joking! I'm sitting here patiently waiting like a dog with a biscuit on its nose 😂

We want our Beef Baby to be happy and fighting fit so we all continue to be blessed by p-boy tummy love, just believe that when you hit publish it'll be like throwing a handful of fish food into a koi pond. The water will be FROTHING.

Yours thirstily

Gwenny, you know the pain!

When a father is just innocently trying to engage with his daughter's life and interests when he sees her at her computer typing away, and his daughter tells him a bold face lie that it's nothing when it's really a debauched fic about an actor having to gain weight for role and it's at the scene where reader is being coerced to sit on his lap and hand feed him...

You get it, @gwendibleywrites...

Thankfully, my dad did not see anything, read anything, know anything... but that's when i decided to not continue writing while they're here. And while they're still here for a little longer, I am currently the only one awake. So, I will take this time to catch up on my THOT TANK submissions and write.

I'm-just-a-kid-and-life-is-a-nightmare regards,

Beefro 👌🥩💜

#pedro pascal #pedro pascal characters #pedro pascal fanfiction #pedro pascal tummy #you ask beefro answers #you asked beefro answered #THOT TANK #chubby dieter rights !!! #chubby!dieter bravo #🥩 #friend of beefro

[stealthnoodle]

Ice Pond Thou Art, to Ice Pond Returneth: Let's Finish(?) Tears of the Kingdom

We're finishing the plot, anyway. All of the spoilers!

Sidequest clean-up time! I am getting up to such antics

Monster decorations: check

Freezing my tits off in the desert while holding up a giant mirror: check

House? check!

I'm sorry but I am literally 12 years old right now:

I wasn't going to chase after dragon!Zelda just yet but she appeared literally right in front of me so I figured I might as well hitch a ride on her and make Link sad.

Da-da-da-daaaa in a minor key:

For some reason I'd been assuming I couldn't dye my sexy thunder shawl but nope! What lovely news for me and fashion aficionados everywhere!

Puzzling with the Boner Squad

I'M STILL 12

A lot of people just come out around me! It's a gift.

Sure do!

Truly, no one can resist my charms.

Bitch I DELVED:

I know I said collecting all the bubbul gems would be my Cruella de Vil origin story, so call me Emma Stone because I have lost my entire goddamn mind. Fewer than 20 remain and Koltin is no longer offering me hints for some reason? Whatever, I'm not doing it for him anymore. I'm doing it for ME.

I have looked up a map of caves and I WILL spelunk each one, mark my words

Oh right we got some caves in the GODDAMN SKY, WHERE CAVES DON'T BELONG

I'm fine I'm fine

One more and the eye strain ends. Squinting from the map on my laptop to the in-game map on my TV. Oho, Death Mountain, I see you now!

FUCKEN GOT EM

Shine on, you crazy diamond bubbul gem. Maybe someday I'll smack you around for rupees. Until then, I will think of you and your completionist nightmare sidequest every time I glide through the air with my fancy new paraglider pattern.

Okay I can finish the plot now

I am doing this final stretch of mini-dungeon the way the goddess intended: by throwing down my traveler's medallion and popping back for more sundelion dishes before getting back to it.

At long last I have killed a lionel, and I started with a gloom lionel because why not. Bitch was in my way.

Me when the sun rises before 7:00am:

Let's see how many Ganon phases we get! Dueling Ganon. Big Hair Boner Squad Ganon. Big Hair One-on-One Ganon. Ganon Become Dragon.

Why does everyone but Link get to scarf down a tasty magatama treat? UNFAIR

At least I look good thrashing around between Ganon's giant dragon teeth:

Took me a second to realize what I was meant to be doing but this was a pleasantly cinematic fight phase with lots of catching little rides on Zelda's big fuzzy dragon head.

Game removed my good hat >:( but also removed my shirt :) so I feel like we're half on the same page.

Guess we're not getting an ending where Link joins Zelda on an eternal draconic frolic, which on the one hand, yes, my girl deserves a happy ending, but on the other, "dragon" is a whole new gender spectrum Link should get to explore.

Game ALSO removed my cool arm. :< Now how am I gonna remodel my house?

Grabbing Zelda as she falls would be a lot easier with Ultrahand, just sayin

At this point, is Zelda, like Marvin from Hitchhiker's Guide, older than the universe itself? My girl's been through it

My robot girlfriend is moving on to robot girlfriend heaven. This too is yuri.

And I am moving on to fucking around endlessly, but first, there's only one way I can end this, right?

Back to the ice pond, baby. I made myself a little blue cultist outfit and everything:

That's all, folks!

#stealthnoodle plays loz: tears of the kingdom #tears of the kingdom #totk spoilers #video #apologies to florence + that machine of hers #what a good game #my dreams will be haunted indefinitely by bubbul gems in hard to reach places #no i have still not figured out the actual purpose of the ice pond #no i will not look it up #yes i will probably throw myself into it again

[catinfroghat]

I finally got endnote to insert my references into my final document everyone cheered!!!! I for sure thought I was going to lose them all because I kept getting error messages and I was going to throw my laptop into a pond if I had to do them all over again

#endnote i hate you forever when i am finished i am deleting you off my laptop along with the devil that is spss and imagej #but you saved me at the last minute so thanks i guess #i will have planty of time to submit tomorrow i think 😇 and then my masters will be OVER #but i will have to get a job so waaaaa but whatever I've had jobs before i dont mind #😁😁😁😁😁😁 i think i will go to bed early so i can start first thing tomorrow and get it done by the afternoon #tasha talks

[vanilladaises-rp]

Emry woke up bright and early the next morning. Well, she woke up early at least. She was less "bright" and more "drowsy" with her squinted eyes and messy morning hair. She let out a sigh as she saw the sun just starting to rise. Emry was not a morning person, despite almost always waking up early. She pulls herself out of bed and grabs the fuzzy robe off her reading chair, throwing it on over her pjs. Then, she begins to shuffle towards the kitchen. Step one of every morning is tea. The kettle gets filled with fresh water and put on the stove to heat. Emry takes to absently gazing out the back doors, still half asleep, but after a moment her brain wakes up a little more with a thought. "I wonder if any of the guys are still out there." She glances at the time on the oven. Its almost 8:00 am. Emry roams around looking for her slippers. She finds one half under the couch, and the other under the coffee table. Once the slippers are secured, she heads out the back door. Emry makes it to the middle of her yard before scanning the tree line. "Umm.. good morning?" Nothing. Not one rustle. Emry feels a little ridiculous chatting with a, potentially, empty forest, but she gives it one more shot. "Well, uh, if you are still out there, you're welcome to come in for some breakfast. Just knock on the back door." She waits a beat after speaking in case anyone emerges. No one does, so she just heads back inside. The kettle has begun to call her back anyways.

~Strawberry (man. I should just write every reply on my laptop if I write so much better lol)

The morning was very muggy, mist in the woods and the clouds completely covered the sun, it was nice. Lee know laid in the wet grass admiring the clouds, it had been awhile since he had some food. He was starving, but didn't want to move. Lee Know closed his eyes and listened to the sounds around him, hearing small creatures nearby rustle, he focused on them, their movements, their smell. Lee Know was hungry, not for a "normal" breakfast though.

Once the rodent was within view, Lee Know's eyes darken and he quietly morphed into his wolf form at the smell of the bunny rabbit. Chan's family doesn't usually hunt, at least anywhere near town but the wolf was hungry and was letting his instincts get the best of him. Lee know smirked as the poor animal moved closer, not noticing his presence. He felt a smidge of guilt for what he was about to do but was too far gone to stop himself.

In the front yard, Chan sat on the porch steps with a calm smile, taking in the morning air himself. It was so peaceful to see the trees move with the wind, listening to the small pond nearby as frogs jumped on lily pads. It was peaceful until he heard your screams. Chan's eyes widened, jumping from the stairs and into the house. He saw you stand in the kitchen, frozen still as you watched Lee Know eat the bunny live.

Chan was a bit shocked but mostly angry that his brother would do something like this in your yard, "Don't watch" He spoke softly covering your eyes from behind. He wanted to bury you in his chest but was afraid of what you might think. Of him, his brother, his family. He wanted to assure you that this wasn't a custom, that he would never do something so cruel, but he has.

(holy shit this was long im sorry 🙈 dude i feel the same! whenever i write on my laptop i feel like my responses are 10x better idk why lol 🤣)

#bang chan #🍓

[deityforged]

💕 - ahmya and toji !

Send 💕 and my muse will use The Love Calculator to see how compatible they are. // @sozokami.

Ahmya :

1%. Dr. Love thinks a relationship might work out between Ahmya and Ashmi, but the chance is very small. A successful relationship is possible, but you both have to work on it. Do not sit back and think that it will all work out fine, because it might not be working out the way you wanted it to. Spend as much time with each other as possible. Again, the chance of this relationship working out is very small, so even when you do work hard on it, it still might not work out.

If you've heard a sound, it is not that of Ashmi smashing the laptop in the background. She's going to smooth her hair and take a deep breath. ' Clearly, they have no idea what they're talking about. '

Toji:

32%. The chance of a relationship working out between Toji and Ashmi is not very big, but a relationship is very well possible, if the two of you really want it to, and are prepared to make some sacrifices for it. You'll have to spend a lot of quality time together. You must be aware of the fact that this relationship might not work out at all, no matter how much time you invest in it.

ALSO, not a great answer. She is going to throw this machine into the local pond, mark her words. ' I would like a word with the person who created this quiz. '

#sozokami. #you have no idea how mad she is #1% #ONE FUCKING PERCENT #LIES

[philosopherbouquet]

2022 summary, part 1/2

This year can be summarized into one sentence: Not too bad, but boy did it pass by stupidly fast. 

A lot had happened but also not that much, is that make sense? I was busy with work, doing the same thing I had last year except there was a change in my supervisor halfway through the season because he got a great offer from a company in the States. All the best to him but still, it did throw a wrench into things while we got organized and figured out how the new supervisor was going to run things, which was very different from the old supervisor.

So just like last year, I am dropping a 2-part summary about how my year went in terms of personal life and fandom writing.

PART 1 - INTRO

POSITIVE NEWS: 

-I entered this year on an extended contract and then I was offered full-time permanent, with benefits and three weeks of vacation. Woot woot, still would appreciate making more money considering how busy I always am but that’s something I will have to look at in the new year.

-Got all of my wisdom teeth removed so I took a week off as my recuperation/vacation around Easter which was nice. I went with the anesthesia route which meant that I was out for the entire time and when I woke up, I was only groggy, with no pain. And the entire time I was on holiday, no real pain, there was soreness and some minor swelling but not enough to take the heavy-duty painkiller I was prescribed.  

-Was able to take another week off in July which was really nice. The time off with no work and therefore, no worries. Was kind of hoping I would use the time to catch up on some of my outstanding fics but I didn’t and I also didn’t use that time to start new fics so I wouldn’t be scrambling to finish them on time before other events but…meh, it is what it is. I have one week left which I can carry over and I plan to take it sometime in January/February to just relax.

-My work hired more people compared to last year and it honestly helped out. The guys did a lot of the homogenizing and grinding, there were more people for titrations so the afternoon person, a rehire from last season, was able to help me more in the Dean-Stark area where I always desperately need help.  

-I finally bought a new laptop after griping about my old brick for the past 2 years. It’s smooth and sleek and doesn’t feel like I’m dealing with something that might burst into flames one day. The only downside is no internal DVD drive. Good thing for Christmas because I got one (still have to check if it works but that’s future me problem).

NEGATIVE NEWS: 

-My beginning of the year was kinda not fun. Even though we don’t get major projects in the winter from the tailings pond because there are frozen like an Ego Waffle, it doesn’t mean we don’t get any work. I and my co-worker got stuck doing 400 Atterberg samples for about 2 months and it is the weirdest most judgemental testing you can do.

-2 of my coworkers quit during the winter months so our lab had gone from 4 down to 2

-Not only did I get sick with Covid but there were two separate times when I was out of work because I was sick. One was near the beginning of the year in January and the other was this month actually, around mid-December (I actually went home early for this one and was basically bedridden for three days straight: couldn’t eat, constantly throwing up if I did eat and could only drink liquids).

-Grandma passed away before the May long weekend here in Canada (mom was upset, and there was no way she would make the funeral which made her even more upset).

-A uncle on my mom’s side got a terminal cancer prognosis and almost died before Christmas. If what I have heard is correct, then it’s very likely he will be passing away sometime early in the new year.

Overall: This year was kind of…’meh’. I’m still here, with access to food and basic needs, with a roof over my head and a job, same with the rest of my immediate family. This season was successful even if we are on thin ice with every single client that uses our services (which is apparently connected to issues from previous years, so that was fun to find out). But there are things that either could have been better or I could have done without.

But Hooray and congratulations to everyone making it through this year. One way or another, we are all in one piece and ready to take on 2023

#personal post #personal #summary #summary post #summary of 2022

[fmdxsuji]

word count: 494 words (not including lyrics) notes: creative claims (partial lyrics) verification self-para for cold as hell!

“the song’s all out. we just need a few more lyrics to tie it altogether.” 

her phone’s on speaker as she listens to minwoo explain the process behind the song. it’s not like her to be so out of the loop when it comes to a song that’ll be on her own album, but she had been busy with crowned and equinox’s comeback to be totally focused. of course, she’s careful when it comes to planning her album, but it’s not like she can duplicate herself. 

minwoo had given her a sneak peak of the song before, but she didn’t realize that it was done. “was there a theme when you guys composed it?” she asks over the phone with the audio playing at a lower volume. 

“i don’t think so. the guys and i were just experimenting with sounds. it kind of wrote itself actually,” he says and she simply nods along. that happens with some songs. suji would argue that some of her best songs came out that way as well. 

“all right. thanks for letting me know.” and with that, she hears the click of the call going dead. reaching over, she increases the volume of her laptop where the track is playing before taking out her notepad. 

there’s a few taps of her pen on the arm of her chair as she thinks deeply about what to write about. it would have been easier if she were thrown a topic, but she has to start from scratch. thus, she listens to the track again and again and again.

cold. 

that’s how she would describe the track. there’s something a little bitter about it. cold about it. a weird metaphor, but the song reminds her of metal. like nails scratching across a metal board. like the track is meant to hurt someone. 

a pond where the memories have dried up a place filled with traces i don’t want to see there’s no longer an us yeah it’s getting cold as hell

a little harsh? perhaps so. looking back, suji’s not sure if she’s ever written lyrics that were so deliberately... cold. however, it’s a nice change. that’s what she’s looking for with this album anyway. humming it along with the guide, she throws this into the chorus section. 

as she re-reads the lyrics, she can’t help but chuckle. since she’s spoken so much about getting inspiration from herself and those around her, she wonders what crazy assumptions will pop up once this song gets released. 

the track is on loop in the background as she tries to figure out some of the remaining sections. now that she has somewhat of a backbone for the chorus, she’s feeling a bit more inspired for the rest of the song.

it was special, it was tedious there was nothing different even your name that’s scarred onto my lips will eventually fade

she enjoys how bitter everything sounds. as if she had her heart utterly broken and was getting revenge through her lyrics. when in reality, she’s rolling around in her chair at home, humming the melody to herself. that’s the beauty of songwriting, she thinks. and it’s a sign that she’s grown. 

she no longer has to experience everything herself to create a story. 

#famedverification #( ♡ * // self para. )

[cricketnationrise]

speed-dial

Written for day 7 of Friendship Week! prompt: saving the day / jack and shitty @birlcholtz

Trigger warnings: involuntary drug use (Roofies), references to underage drinking, references to anxiety attacks, averted anxiety attack

[Dex gets roofied at a party, but calls Jack and he and Shitty go find him and get him to the hospital.]

_X_

Jack is in the middle of writing his thesis when he gets the call. He almost ignores it, who would be calling him at eleven thirty at night? But he glances over anyway and a jolt goes through him when he sees the caller id: William Poindexter - Dex

Shit.

“Hello?”

At first there’s just a scuffling noise and then Dex’s voice comes through, more slurred than Jack has ever heard it.

“Jack issss Dex. S’mthin’ happn’d. ‘N I need hel-hulp-help.”

“Where are you? Are you safe?” he asks, already gathering his stuff. Wallet, Haus keys, phone in his hand, shoes.

“Walkin’, no’shurr where.” Jack grabs an unopened bottle of water from his mini fridge before going through the connecting bathroom to get Shitty. He’s definitely going to need reinforcements for this.

“Do you see any landmarks?” Jack asks, striding into Shitty’s room. “Any ideas where you are?” Shitty looks up from his laptop, and whatever Jack’s face is doing makes him save and start scrambling for his clothes.

“Uhhhhhh.” Dex trails off.

“Dex. You have to stay awake. Captain’s orders.”

“Oh shit,” he hears Shitty say.

“Yesshssurr. I’mwake. I can see uhhh, oh hey thass the Pond.”

Jack is already pulling Shitty down the stairs to get to his car. He puts the phone on speaker and shoves it into Shitty’s hand when they get to the car.

“Dex. This is really important. I need you to stay where you are and I need you to stay awake. I’m coming to get you. Shitty is with me. Talk to him okay?”

“‘Kay. Ssup Shitss.”

“Alright brah? You heard Jack. We’re coming to get your ass. Jack, it’s quicker to take Wilson Ave than Concord. Now Dex, can you tell me every color you can see reflected in the Pond right now?”

Shitty keeps Dex on the line, keeps him talking, even if it’s nonsense for what can’t be longer than a five minute drive, but to Jack each minute feels like a decade. When Jack finds parking as close as he can get, he and Shitty throw themselves out of the car and take off running, Jack just barely remembering to turn off his lights and lock the doors. They pound down the pathway around the Pond, frantically looking for Dex. What if Dex was wrong, what if they’re in the wrong place, what if - And then Jack spots a flash of pale skin and red hair in the moonlight.

“Dex!” he shouts, and puts on an extra burst of speed.

“Hey Jaa-ack,” Dex says with a yawn.

“Hey bud, we gotcha, you’re gonna be okay.”

“Feel weird tho,” Dex grumbles.

He and Shitty manage to get Dex’s arms over their shoulders - how is he already so tall he’s only nineteen, holy shit he’s nineteen and my responsibility, oh shit -

“Jack, breathe,” Shitty commands, and it’s only the long association of Shitty’s voice calming him down during his anxiety attacks that has him regulating his breathing and focusing on the present instead of spiraling. “Can you tell us what happened, Dex?”

“Think I go’ roofied.” Jack feels a cold fury start at the base of his spine.

“What?!” Shitty shouts.

Dex winces at the volume and Shitty immediately apologizes. “You think you got roofied?” He asks at a lower volume, fury lacing every syllable.

“Wen’ to a party by m’self ‘cause Chowder an’ Nurse were busy. And I wanted to try an’ flirt with a guy, maybe. An’way. There was this, this uh, guy, n’ he was like, hittin’ on me, an’ stuff. Got me a drink. Was nice to me. I was havin’ a good time act’lly. Didn’ think about gettin’ my own drink - iss Samwell, right? People aren’ assholes here.”

Jack is going to have to hunt down this absolute festering sore of a person and introduce him to some manners. And maybe introduce him to the ground a lot. And get him kicked off campus. How dare he try to take advantage of Jack’s Frog?

“An’ then I started feelin’ weird, wanted to go. Guy wants me t’go with ‘im but I didn’ wan’ to. Jus’ wanted t’sleep.”

“I’m glad you didn’t go with him, Dex,” Jack says softly.

“Not super shhure how I got ‘way from ‘im ack-chully.” It’s a weird moment for laughter, but Dex’s confused face is pretty hilarious. “An’way, ness thing I ‘member is callin’ firs’ number on my speed dial an’ you pickin’ up the phone.”

Jack’s heart stutters at that admission. He’s Dex’s emergency contact. Dex called him for help and he answered. Thank god he answered.

“Glad I could help,” Jack says, only a little choked up. They’re almost back to his car now.

“Knew you would. You’re all grumpy n’ shit but I knew you’d help.”

“Course, Dex, got your back.”

“No’ like the fake people back home,” Dex says, “They’d all prolly just laugh an’ leave me to fall over.”

“We’re all here for you, Dex. You can count on that,” Shitty says.

“I love this stupid team,” Dex mumbles.

“Hey bud, try to stay awake just a little longer, okay?”

“‘Kay. Tired tho.”

“I know bud, it’s only about ten minutes to Overlook, okay?”

Dex chuckles thickly, “Abooot.”

Together he and Shitty get him loaded into the back seat, Shitty climbing in after him so he’s not alone back there. Jack drives to the hospital. Drunk Frogs he can deal with - roofied freshman, none of them are equipped for. Thank god Samwell is a small town. There’s almost no one else on the roads and Jack hits all green lights. He knows he’s pushing the speed limit. He finally gets to Overlook Hospital, finds parking close to the emergency room, and helps wrestle Dex inside. Dex is really flagging now.

Jack pushes through his own worry and anxiety at the situation long enough to get Dex into a room. He and Shitty are told to wait in the hall while they run some tests. The doctor will come update them in an hour or so. Jack makes his way to a really uncomfortable looking armchair and collapses into it. He feels rather than sees Shitty slump into the one next to him.

“What a night,” Shitty comments after a while. He rubs his face with both hands.

“Yeah,” says Jack. He’s barely keeping the anxiety at bay. He’s about to get up and start pacing when he feels Shitty put his hand over his own. The touch settles him enough to keep him in his chair.

“Hey,” Shitty says. “We found him in time. The doctors think he’s gonna be fine. They just want to observe him for an hour to make sure nothing else happens. He’s going to be fine.”

“I know, I know. I just -” Jack doesn’t want to say it, but if he doesn’t he might explode. “I almost didn’t answer the phone.”

“What do you mean?”

“It rang while I was editing, and I was in a groove. The phone interrupted me. Who calls at eleven thirty, right?” says Jack. “So I was just going to turn it off when I saw the caller ID. I almost didn’t answer the phone, Shitty.” He draws his knees up and hides his face in them. He’s such a shitty captain, friend, person - Dex could have died, he was trusting me to answer and I almost didn’t how can I live with myself -

“Jack. Look at me.” Jack rolls his head to the side enough to make eye contact with Shitty’s torso. He doesn’t want to see the look on his best friend’s face. He must be so disappointed.

“Jack. C’mon, all that matters is you did answer. You answered. And because you answered we went and found him and brought him here and he’s getting treated, and he’s going to be fine.” Somewhere in this mess, Shitty started rubbing his neck. It’s incredibly soothing. He doesn’t deserve it.

“But I -”

“No buts. You’re a fantastic captain and a worthy friend, and if I was a frog, I’d have you as my emergency contact too, bro.”

He speaks with such absolute conviction that Jack feels himself relaxing a fraction. Enough to meet his eyes.

“...Thanks Shits.”

“Got your back, bro. Just like you have mine. And Dex’s. And the rest of ours. I’ll tell you that every day if I have to.”

“I think I got it.”

“Good.”

“Shitty?”

“Yeah?”

“I’ve never been more scared. Or more furious.”

“Oh thank god. Me too.”

“Mr. Zimmermann? Mr. Knight?” They look up, Jack unfolding himself and Shitty sitting up straighter in his chair as the doctor approaches.

“Well, gentlemen, looks like your friend is going to make a full recovery. We’re getting some fluids into him to flush his system and I certainly don’t envy him the headache he’ll have when he wakes up, but he’ll be ready for discharge in a couple of hours.”

Jack’s body feels like a limp noodle at that news.

“Oh thank god,” says Shitty. “Thanks for letting us know.”

“Can we sit with him?” asks Jack.

“Of course, but don’t wake him up until at least one in the morning. If he wakes up on his own that’s fine, but the more he can sleep off now, the better.”

“Thank you.”

They edge into Dex’s room and sit in the chairs on either side of the bed, staring at the even-paler-than-normal form of Dex on the bed.

“You should try to get some sleep, too, Jack.”

“Too wired. You go ahead. If I'm too out of it when he’s discharged, you can drive back to the Haus.”

“Oh good, I was gonna suggest he stay at the Haus for a couple of days instead of his dorm.”

“Get some shut eye. I’ll keep an eye on him.”

“Try to relax a bit, at least put your feet up,” Shitty insists. Jack complies.

Shitty’s breathing matches Dex’s heart rate monitor for a while before slowing into his natural sleep patterns. Jack texts Bittle while he waits, updating him on the situation. Bittyle goes into full mother hen mode at the news - Jack’s never seen him so focused off the rink, or off Twitter. As Jack is still thinking about what needs to happen, Bittle’s already texting him updates. 

Bittle: texted Chowder - he and Nursey are gonna grab clothes and toiletries for a couple days

Bittle: Ransom and Holster changed the sheets in your room - figured Dex would be best there. You and Shitty are only a bathroom away, its only up one flight of stairs and you and Shitty room together on roadies already.

Bittle: Lardo’s going to email Dex’s teachers in the morning - she’s got access to his schedule 

Bittle: emailed Hall and Murray and copied the team trainer in case there are any lasting effects 

Bittle: Also I made him those raspberry squares he likes for the morning.

Bittle might be a miracle worker. Jack feels himself getting more relaxed with each update. He might actually get a little sleep.

Bittle: try to get some shut eye. We’ll all be at the Haus when y’all get back.

Jack closes his eyes. Just for a second. The sound of Dex’s heart monitor and Shitty’s breathing lulls him to sleep.

#cricket writes #omgcpfriendshipweek #look there are trigger warnings for a reason #take care of yourselves besties #omgcp #jack 110% zimmermann #shitty knight #dex #tw: drugs #tw: involuntary drug use #check please #sorry for the angst #it just came out

[monsterenergysimp]

Feel Better

corpse husband x gender neutral! reader 

summary: corpse takes care of you when you get sick 

request: hi ! i saw your corpse requests were open <3 im like corpse and have a multitude of conditions and illnesses, mainly lots of nausea, dizziness, and migraines and i was hoping you’d do a gender neutral reader with these problems and corpse takes care of them for the day please 🥺

warnings: mentions of illness (migraines, throw up and other related symptoms) 

word count: 491

notes: This is proof read but I could have missed some stuff. This is my first request and I have three more to work. I love you nonnie thank you for requesting and please take care of yourself. My mom deals with migraines and it sucks for her. I hope you all enjoy :) 

main blog: @itsmysleepover

You had woken up that morning feeling a bit dizzy but didn’t think much of it. You got migraines and when you woke up dizzy you were sometimes able to power through. Although you knew you should have taken it easy you had to edit a new video if you wanted it to get out on time.

You and Corpse were sitting next to each other. He was writing some lyrics while you were adding some finishing touches to your video. You closed your laptop and laid down with your head on Corpse’s lap. “You okay baby?” He asked you. You nodded, “Just a little dizzy and a bit of tension,” you told him and shrugged. “Are you done editing, maybe you should stop,” he suggested worry laced his voice. “I’m a bit better now,” you told him and continued editing. He gave you his glass of water and made you drink it. He knew you were stubborn but if he could make your inevitable crash a little more bearable he would.

Staring at a computer for hours was not a good idea. Your head was ponding and your vision started getting fuzzy. Your stomach felt weird and you were getting more and more nauseous but you continued to ignore your symptoms until you couldn’t. You ran out of the room slamming the door against the wall in the process.

You ran to the bathroom and threw up in the toilet. You heard Corpse walk into the bathroom after you and turned the lights on. He squatted down next to you on the bathroom floor. “I told you to stop, are you okay baby?” He asked you softly. You shook your head no. “Can you turn the lights off please?” You asked him. He turned the lights off and began to rub your back. “Can you walk to the room?” You nodded and stood up with Corpse’s help.

He helped you get to your shared bedroom and you laid down on the bed. He turned the bedside lamp off so it was completely dark and you closed your eyes. “Thank you,” you said.

“No problem baby, have you been feeling like this all day, or did it start earlier?” He asked you worried, in a low voice as to not make your migraine worse.

“This morning but it didn’t start bad, I just pushed myself too much,” you told him and he let out a sigh. “Can you stay with me, please?”

“Of course baby just give me a second,” he said. He left the room then quickly came back with an ice pack and a bottle of water. He placed the pack on your forehead then laid down next to you and held your hand. “I love you.”

“I love you too;  thank you for the ice pack now please shut up it hurts.” You both giggled at this mini outburst and he placed a gentle kiss on your temple.  

#corpse husband #corpse husband x reader #corpse husband imagine #corpse husband imagines #corpse husband x y/n #corpse husband x you #youtubers #gender neutral reader #caffeinated ramblings

[thebestworstidea]

The Green Knight’s Lady (4)

Sequel fic to “The Witch and the Green Knight” (on Ao3)

Warnings: undeserved redemption arc, graphic imagery and as of this chapter violence against minors.

Chapter 1: In which Rowan has Unexpected House Guests

Chapter 2: In Which They Try to Figure Out What the Hell is Going On

Chapter 3: In Which Remus and Rowan’s Stupidity Escalates to Treason (sort of)

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Chapter 4: In Which Life is Difficult

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     The winter waned in a sloppy miserable way, kicking out with a few snowstorms like the flailing of a dying animal. Despite not really being bothered by the cold, D.N. practically hibernated, most often found in a window seat in the library, going through Rowan’s Mother’s books and being snarky about bad information about fairies. Rowan was fairly sure it was just a way to safely lash out. She dug out an old laptop and gave him access to the Netflix account. If nothing else it kept him distracted. Something Rowan had learned was that the fair folk did, as legend said, love stories. 

And apparently, soap operas and romcoms.

Like herself, Remus seemed out of sorts in the late winter, though more in the way of someone who had woken up long before they wanted to. He’d gone into the woods and returned dressed in his more normal attire, also having brought back a few changes of clothing that was closer to D.N.’s size, and of a finer make than anything in the Baker house, despite Rowan’s sister’s cautious attempt to find a fabric the fae child would like. For the most part, the rest of Rowan’s family treated D.N. with cautious courtesy, and a certain level of ‘not be alone in a room with him’. Remus, by contrast, was treated more as a benign nuisance, though not without kindness.  Frankly, that was more understandable than Rowan’s blase attitude. That didn’t stop a certain level of speculation as to why ‘Leif’ and his friend were staying with them.

     “I’ve figured it out!” 

Rowan balled a pair of socks and tossed it in her sister’s basket across the table. They were sorting the laundry by owner, and Rowan had made it her mission to find as many pairs of socks as she could. 

“Figured what out?” 

“What’s going on with Leif and the kid!” 

“Have you now?” Rowan said dryly and a little nervously. Her sister nodded. 

“It’s pretty obvious if you think about it. The kid is the spawn of the last fairy king.”

“What.” 

“Look, it’s obvious that Leif served him, right? And we know he’s dead. So then Leif disappears for months and reappears with a kid? With scales? We know that Leif’s traveled outside Wickhills before- so clearly he knew where the kid was, maybe he was even the one who took him away, probably more of a Cronos eating his kids thing than a Arthur sent into hiding thing, and now he brought him back.” She pursed her lips. “You know, I bet Leif can change genders like a frog.”

Rowan started laughing. 

“Leif might even be the mother-” she went on. 

“Definitely not.” Rowan choked. 

“But he is related. I’ve connected the dots.” she said smugly.

“You haven’t connected shit.” Rowan retorted throwing a pair of pants at her.

“I’ve connected them.”

     As spring burgeoned forth, Remus agitated with the need to leave the house. It was clear he wasn’t used to staying in one place, even for a few weeks like this. Rowan could always tell when Remus had gone wandering in the night, because D.N. didn’t come down from the attic until he’d come back. It wasn’t as if D.N. was avoiding his so-called hosts, so much as he was totally avoiding the humans in the house as much as possible as if by pretending they weren’t there he could pretend none of this was happening. 

When spring officially arrived Rowan made them clothing, a shirt of heavy green broadcloth for Remus, and a more delicate shirt of the finest white linen she had for D.N. The shirt he generally wore was made of undyed silk, and Rowan feared that the substance had come from the shroud- or rather bag- she’d sewn for the bones of the Serpent King. It was tricky to give them, as D.N. certainly wanted no gifts from her, and Remus wanted to gift her in return. But it was simply tradition, that for the first day of spring everyone had a new garment. So her green brother and erstwhile guest needed something new too, for luck. Honestly, Rowan thought he could probably use all the luck he could get.

     It was a fine warm day in mid April, when leaves were finally starting to show, and only the most stubborn bits of snow were sticking around in the darkest shadows, when Rowan was working in her garden.

“Little tree! You’re wearing pants!” 

The whippy rose vine Rowan had been arguing with slipped out of her hand as the twist tie sprang from her other, and she took the momentary break to glare at Remus, who had appeared in her personal bubble with no warning whatsoever.

“I wear pants all the time.” she retorted, giving him a half hearted shove. 

“Yeah, but usually you have dresses over ‘em.” theatrically, he collapsed to the scrubby grass outside the garden and sprawled in the sun. 

“Well, I learned that arguing with rose bushes in a dress doesn’t end well for the dress.” She grabbed hold again with her gloved hand, and pulled a fresh tie out of her apron pocket, lashing the thorny vine to the wrought iron trellis that kept most fae out of her garden. They could, in theory, pass under the iron arbor that faced the wood, wreathed as it was in plants, but until Remus it hadn’t been much of a problem. “How are you doing?” she asked quietly. He was looking better. He’d been kind of wan, a sickly sort of green rather than his normal healthy hue like a ripening acorn. 

“Starting to feel my oats.” He responded, tipping his face into the sun. “It’s a good spring. I’d say that spring was happy about something.” in the distance, a door opened and closed.

“Seasons do seem to have emotions.” She agreed, and had to step delicately over him to get to the next bush, pulling clippers from her pocket and studying the bush thoughtfully, before pruning a few branches, and returning to tucking them in safely so they wouldn’t grab passers by too badly.  That done she carried the trimmed branches away. D.N. emerged from the widdershins side of the house, having exited the front door and walked so he didn’t have to pass the rowan tree, even if he could do so under the protection of the porch. He glared down at Remus with frustration. 

“What are you doing?” he demanded.

“Having a kip?” Remus suggested, as Rowan stepped over him again to get back to the rose bushes. 

“You should tell me as soon as you come back from the forest.” he said grouchily, not making eye contact. 

“Well, not much is going on, so there’s nothing to tell you.” Remus shrugged. 

“That’s good right?” Rowan asked. 

“A secret unsaid is a secret kept.” D.N. muttered, not addressing Rowan at all. “What are you doing out there anyway?” 

“Favors.” Remus sighed. “So many favors. I’m not exactly a favorite right now. People don’t want me to do favors for them, but I need the currency. Also fixing up my house.” he rubbed his hands over his face. “It’s kind of out of the way, so it might be safe enough. It’s nice enough to visit with my little tree, but…”

“We can’t stay here forever.” D.N. agreed. “It buzzes.” 

“Yeah.” Remus nodded. “So I’ve got some improvements to make, and gotta reassert my territory. No one got near the tree, but I don’t have much around it.” he clicked his tongue “Fun and all, but I’m in a hurry.”  he made a kissy face at them both. “But I’ll always hurry back to you.” 

Rowan snorted, and D.N. rolled his eyes. He crossed his arms and cocked his hip, glaring down at the green-clad fae. 

“I’m sure whatever you stay in is better than this.”

“Hey, owch. It’s a good house. We finally got the roof fixed last year.” Rowan glared, waving her clippers at him. D.N. leaned away. 

“Well it’s hardly the hovel I’ve seen other witches live in,” he sneered at the Victorian style house. “But it isn’t anywhere I would choose to stay.” 

“Sorry for not being a magical house.”

“Oh it’s full of magic alright. Human magic, thick and inelegant, like mud on the bottom of a pond.”

“I like mud.” Remus commented, popping up and bracing himself upright on his hands. Rowan noticed that his knuckles were reddened and split. Putting her clippers away again, she dug into her other pocket, coming up with a small, shallow clay pot, closed with a wide cork. She crouched down and grabbed one hand, dabbing the ointment onto the wounds. Remus obligingly offered his other hand when she was done. 

“Why was this in your pocket?”

“It’s better to get the ointment on big jabs right away, and I’m doing lawn work.” she shrugged, and went back to her work. 

After a while, Rowan finished her discussion with the rosebushes, and headed back inside without saying anything. Shortly after that, a car drove up hidden by the bulk of the house. Another short while later, it drove away again. Rowan returned to her garden, hooking her apron over her head again.

“Bloody busy-body is what she is.” Rowan grumbled to herself. “No need to come by every time, her tea hasn’t changed in over a year, if I wanted everyone coming by and bothering me all the time I’d start up a tea room in town and read palms and cards. It’s what I get for being helpful and offering to do a unique blend.” 

“Can you tell the future?” Remus asked, popping up on the other side of the hedge wall of rose bushes, making Rowan yelp and clutch her rake. 

“Like the weather.” She retorted. “Which is to say, not really worth anything.” 

“You’re a useless kind of witch, aren’t you?” sniffed D.N. who had taken up a seat in an Adirondack style chair they had acquired somewhere, and everyone in the Baker family hated, which is why it wasn’t on the porch.

“Yeah, kind of.” she didn’t rise to the bait, and watched him stare at the woods. “You could go, you know.”

“What?”

“Nothing’s keeping you here if you wanted to leave.”

“Little tree-” Remus said, sounding hurt. 

“Not you, you’re welcome any time. And for that matter, if he wants to go for a bit and come back, that’s fine.”

“I can’t actually. I have to ‘stay here’ until further notice.” 

“Oh right. Fairy parole officer.” Rowan sighed. “Well you could probably get as far as the property line, or where our ‘official’ lot meets up with the woods.”

“It isn’t as if I’m desperate to wander in the woodlands, Witch, I just don’t want to be here. At all.”

“Boy, do I hear that.”  she sighed deeply, pausing to look into the woods herself. The small leaves were misting the tips of the trees with color, and there was a smell of wet and rot in the air. It looked like a storm was building in the west.  It would probably hit the before nightfall, gathering the dark in the clouds and making the night come that much faster in the growing spring day. Better to get her gardening done before it hit, so she’d only have to repair the damage it did, not do that and the maintenance. The plants were being especially springy this year, and she was tempted to put this down to Remus’s presence. 

D.N. continued to watch her, as though she was some sort of reality TV show, while Remus sprawled in the scrubby grass next to his chair. 

When the first cold wet gust hit, all three of them headed inside.

     The storm was really having fun, so they were in Rowan’s room instead of the loft. Remus liked to hang out with both of them, so Rowan coming to work on whatever she was doing -some sort of project involving embroidery floss at the moment- and sit with Remus while Remus would root through her work basket, or bring out a pouch and do something himself- embroidery, or sharpening knives, occasionally woodcarving. Sometimes he’d sit behind Rowan and brush or play with her hair, braiding it into elaborate arrangements that she’d have to ask for help to undo.

Sometimes Danger Noodle would use Remus as a cushion or a backrest as if he was staking his claim. That night however, he’d pulled the beat up floral armchair Rowan kept next to one of her windows to a different window (further away from the dancing limbs of the rowan tree) and settled down with a book.

Rowan noticed that he would raise his hand and rub the back of his neck occasionally as if it were hurting. She nudged Remus’s leg and inclined her head at D.N. He shrugged.

“Are you in pain somehow?” Rowan asked, startling him into dropping his book.

“Kindly mind your own business.” Danger Noodle sneered. 

“Are you cold?” Remus asked. “You do-” he rubbed the back of his neck “lots.” 

D.N. growled under his breath, picking the book up. 

“It isn’t important.” He told them. 

“But it is a thing.”

“You never used to.”

He sighed, explosively. “Are you two going to leave me alone about this?”

“Well now I’m curious.” Rowan admitted tipping her head with a smile on her face that reminded D.N. far too much of Remus’s mischievous expression. If it weren’t for her obvious humanity, he would think they were siblings. “If you’re cold, I could get you a blanket, is all.” 

“I’m not cold.” he rolled his eyes. “I’m a winter.”

She looked unimpressed. “So what’s with the lounging in sunbeams?” 

Danger Noodle sneered at her, scales glinting in the lamplight. 

“It's just a feeling.  It’s like a cold hand on the back of my neck, it’s not squeezing but it’s there.” D.N. spread his fingers over the back of his neck.  “Like something’s watching me, constantly.” 

“Huh.” Remus and Rowan said in unison, heads tipping to the side. Danger Noodle glared, there was no way they weren’t doing that on purpose. 

“Might be something?” Remus asked thoughtfully, looking at the corners of the room. 

“I’d want to keep an eye on him, if it were me.” Rowan admitted. 

D.N. sighed again, exasperated, then Remus perked up digging in one of the many pockets inside his vest.  After a search he came up with a bag, tied firmly shut with cord. He climbed off the bed and went to kneel next to the armchair instead. 

“I made this for you.” Remus opened the intricately tied knot, and from inside the bag, produced a scarf. It looked like heavy silk of some sort, dyed a beautiful saffron yellow, covered in single-thread embroidery. Vines twisted and twined along it, with a snake hidden among them.  D.N. stared at it for a long moment, then recoiled. 

“Are you out of your mind? Wait, never mind I retract the question.” 

“I made it for you a while ago but…” Remus admitted. “You wouldn’t have taken it.”

“I’m not taking it now.” He stood up, tossing the book on the chair. “What makes you think I would even want it?” 

“You’re not as strong now-” 

Danger Noodle hissed, flashing sharp teeth, pupils narrow. 

“-so I’m going to protect you until you’re stronger.” Remus finished as if  he hadn’t just been threatened. 

“I am still stronger than you.” the young fae said disdainfully, drawing himself up to his full, unimpressive height.

“Are you though?” Rowan asked, setting her project down and watching them. 

“I am certainly more powerful than you.” 

“Oh, that’s not even a question.” 

“So what this looks like is Remus is offering you his favor to wear, showing that you’re his...  I’m going to say ‘ward’, because you’re a kid.”

“I am not a kid!” D.N. retorted, stamping his foot like a child. 

“And therefore under his protection. Displaying a connection.” 

“It’s a little more complicated than that, but yeah.” Remus agreed. 

“Which is why I’m not interested.” 

“I don’t have to give you an oath to give you my favor.” Remus pointed out, he just stared up at Danger Noodle entreatingly.  The room was silent except for the storm outside, and the faint sound of someone watching a movie elsewhere in the house. D.N. rubbed the back of his neck again, and Rowan shivered, like a gust of cold air had made it through the window. Her eyes shut and she saw dead branches against a milky sky. Blinking the vision away, she got to see D.N. throw his hands in the air. 

“Uugh enough with the eyes. Fine. I’ll take it, but it doesn’t mean anything.” He accepted the scarf and looped it around his neck, spreading the folds upward to the base of his hair. 

“It means you’re wearing something I made you.” Remus pointed out and rose up, gathering Danger Noodle into a hug, to which he submitted, to Rowan’s surprise. “Which makes me happy.” 

“Mmgnh. Fuck off.” D.N. mumbled, face pressed to Remus’s bicep. 

Rowan decided not to comment on how cute it was.

#willow is writing #the witch and the green knight #laoft recursive fic

[ironmandeficiency]

falcon, falcon, goose!

pairing: sam wilson / reader

word count: 3547

summary: there were reports of geese leading people to their soulmates spanning centuries, and it seemed like a cool concept, but why did it have to coincide with you coming out of your writing slump?

warnings: cursing, geese, dumbassery, implied happy au where the avengers get along, iw and endgame who?

a/n: this is an older piece i wrote a couple years ago, decided to brush it up and repost it. and the reader works for snl bc why the hell not? keep in mind that the original was written before everything went to shit w iw & endgame. posted from mobile yet again yall what is wrong w me

it was a sunny day outside, and deciding that you had been cooped up for far too long, you brought your laptop to the park a couple blocks from your studio apartment.

being a writer for saturday night live wasn't always so peachy, what with the lack of a social life outside of your co-workers and constantly explaining your job to confused relatives. you had been in a slump for the past couple weeks, the fact most of your sketch ideas not making the cut for the next episode continuing to throw you off your rhythm.

this week, you were going to change that. Your headphones were playing your concentration playlist full volume and you were hyped to the max. with your laptop on the picnic table in front of you and a warm cup of tea beside it, you were ready to blow the producers away with your next idea.

"honk! honk!"

you felt something nudge your leg, but you were too engrossed into what you were typing to care. after getting through a few more lines, it happened again.

"honk! honk! honk!"

you couldn't hear the sound but the feeling on your leg got a little bit rougher, more demanding. you moved your headphones to the side for a minute and took a moment to look around you. there was no kid running to get their ball back or any squirrels nearby that dropped a nut.

strange.

but you put your headphones back on, trying to keep your groove alive while hoping the interruptions are finished.

"HONK! HONK! HONK!" the goose honked louder, pecking at your leg harder than it had earlier.

you were getting frustrated and a little pissed. the creativity was flowing through your veins for the first time in what felt like ages and this — whatever it was — decided that today was the best day to annoy you.

you kicked your legs out with a strange flail and when you came into contact with something large and solid you nearly screamed.

"ow! motherf- oh my god!"

standing on the ground beside your table was a goose. it honked yet again with impatience (geese could do that?) and nipped lightly at your thigh closest to it. looking to the pond nearby, it was nearly an entire gaggle of the damned things.

so here was this goose honking at you and nipping at you like you were supposed to know what the hell it wanted from you.

"i don't have any bread, dumbass. go find someone else to bother." thinking it would leave if you ignored it, you turned away and continued your work.

"HONK! HONK!" it continued to honk and decided to peck you before flapping its wings, landing itself on the table next to your computer.

"get outta here, ya damn goose!" while you were trying to shop it away, it expertly evaded you. "go! shoo! leave me alone!"

it just stayed over on the bench, expertly dodging your attempts to get it to leave.

a few people nearby had heard your altercation with the infernal bird. one of them was an older gentleman that laughed as he sat across from you, the mirth in his eyes glinting as you give him a sarcastic side eye while trying to deal with the current issue.

"that bird won't leave you alone, you know." At his voice, the goose calmed down and waddled a few feet away from your arm's reach.

that was the first time the thing had been seemingly calm since he showed up at your little table.

"what do you mean he won't leave me alone?"

he pauses, part of him enjoying the irritation in your tone. he remembers someone talking to him like he was to you many years ago, and it made his heart smile at the idea of repaying the favor. "have you ever read about soulmate geese?"

"hey we're gonna go for a run, wanna join?" steve’s offer was given with a smirk. ever since reuniting with bucky, the two supersoldiers found so much humor in doing laps around sam every time they went out jogging.

it annoyed the shit out of him, the "on your left" comments from steve and the newer "on your right" jabs from bucky, but it also pushed Sam to work harder during his runs. ultimately he knew his non-enhanced body didn't stand much of a chance beating them, but he enjoyed when he was able to close the gap between their times just a little bit.

"sure, just gimme a few to eat breakfast and I'll join you guys." the blond nodded and turned back to the elevator, having woken up far earlier than sam and therefore already ate.

he hummed otis redding as he laid the bacon flat into the pan, shoulders moving along with his created rhythm while changing the grounds in the coffee filter. this was how he spent most of his mornings, barring the occasional hangovers and missions where he couldn't afford the distraction.

he ate, got dressed, and told FRIDAY to let bucky and steve know he was ready to go. h had his water bottle in hand, giving his body a pep talk in preparation for the run. they met in the common room and soon, the trio was off.

"on your left!"

"on your right!"

"oh, come on!"

he knew it was gonna happen, but for some reason it felt like it happened sooner than normal. either they were trying really hard to mess with him today, or he was off his game. but regardless, he pushed his body harder than he probably should have because when there was something obstructing his path, he didn't pause. no, he charged it straight on through and fell hard.

steve and bucky had seen this from a distance and immediately rushed to get to their friend.

sam rolled onto his back, exhausted and now in terrible pain from the fall. he closed his eyes and just let it all sink in. when he opened his eyes at the sudden foul smell flooding his nostrils, he could feel the palpitations, thinking he was about to have a heart attack.

"holy shit!" sam sat up like a rocket despite the way his body was throbbing from the fall.

the goose stared at him curiously and turned its head toward the pounding footsteps from the approaching brooklynites.

"sam! What happened?" steve was concerned, inspecting sam while bucky noticed the bird. The brunet bent down to meet the goose eye-level and was somewhat surprised that it didn't run away at the close proximity.

"did you trip the dumbass? was it your fault sam landed on his face? Huh, little guy?"

"honk! honk!"

"i thought so. good job, man." bucky pats the animal on the head gently before turning to help steve get sam off the ground.

"nothing’s broken but there's probably a sprain, can't really be sure until we get to cho." sam and bucky lift their friend from the pavement and they have no problem supporting his weight.

they began the walk back to the tower in silence. well, almost silence. there was a faint pitter-patter of tiny, webbed feet behind them that sam and bucky weren't paying attention to.

steve noticed the goose slowly waddling behind the trio and looked at sam with a smile. sam responded to steve’s happy face with a glare, not enjoying any of the situation he found himself in.

"look behind us, guys."

both men took turns looking behind them and see the goose waddling behind them patiently. sam wasn't particularly happy about the culprit from moments before trailing behind him, but bucky thought it was hilarious.

"do you know what this means?"

sam rolled his eyes because he thought the blond was about to make some sort of poetic comment about one thing for another.

bucky had paused to think about the implications of a random goose for a moment before gasping. "dude," bucky nudged sam softly, being conscious of his friend's injuries. "you’re gonna meet your soulmate, man!"

"a soulmate goose. man come on, are you out of your mind?"

"steve got his goose back during the war, i think we know enough about it."

sam had only heard vague reports of soulmate geese throughout his life, but now that he thought about it, it did make sense. the goose showed up randomly in the middle of his routine, completely throwing him off, and was now refusing to leave him alone.

"well if this is my soulmate goose, then somebody’s gotta tell tony about our newest avenger." they laughed at the implication, viciously eager to witness tony’s reaction to the newest resident of avengers hq.

it has been three days of dealing with your goose, and you were now teased at work as “bird brain”, walking into your office to see several loaves of bread covering the desk. your goose, that you had named piper once you got home, was excited at the prospect of more food, but you planned on donating most of the bread to local shelters, only keeping a couple loaves for the house.

the guest host that week was mick jagger, and he had emerged into the room “i dream of jeanie” style, startling both you and piper, who honked at him in irritation.

it was time for you to work on the song for your little sketch with him, and you had only two more days before performance night (it was thursday) to finish writing it. after settling down and getting into the right mindset, the writing process had begun.

"alright let's see," mick murmured. "let’s all go to the picnic, let's all have a drink. what rhymes with 'drink'?"

you thought for a moment and said quietly, "think?"

you weren't prepared for the absurd response you received from the man, his accent making him round mean as he barked out a loud "NO!" with an unnecessary hand gesture.

piper just about lost it. she was honking and flapping around your office in a tizzy (but staying away from mick because the man was seen as a stranger she wasn't comfortable with).

you racked your brain for another solution, something else to rhyme with 'drink' and you eventually found it: "sink?"

mick thought about it for a moment before replying with a much lighter "yes!" also paired with unwarranted pointing.

‘motherfucker, is this how you write songs?!'

thursday and friday came and went, and soon it was time for your piece to be performed by mick. du to an accidental ankle twist someone else suffered, you were forced to perform a skit live for the first time in your career. it would have been great, but there was one teensy problem: piper blatantly refused to leave your side when it was time to perform, and she would honk and bite anyone that tried to keep her from you onstage.

even poor bobby, who she had grown fond of, was taking the brunt of it. she was not allowing you to be more than a couple feet away from her, and it was almost endearing if you weren't being broadcast on national television.

apparently, piper would also be making her debut appearance on saturday night live tonight as well.

saturday had arrived, and it was sam’s day of rest. he spent the day doing the bare minimum, eating junk food and watching almost everything on netflix he could find.

he didn't stray too far from tradition, not really. it was just that now he had a goose accompanying him the entire time, honking at this and that and eating occasional pieces of popcorn that sam didn't want to share.

he didn't mind his feathered companion, he was actually quite fond of his goose at this point. whitewing (not to be confused with redwing) was the most calm goose any of them had seen, no biting or nipping and especially no honking at ungodly hours of the night.

steve was perplexed. "Are you sure whitewing hasn't done anything bad? no waking you up at night or bites when you don't feed him soon enough?"

sam would chuckle and shake his head, proud to have such a calm goose. "why are you so keen to see him misbehave? aren’t all soulmate geese like this?"

"for lack of a better word, most geese are assholes. i don't know how whitewing is so well behaved," steve balked at the very idea of all geese being so mellow and decided it was story time.

steve’s goose from the century before was the most rambunctious animal anyone had ever seen. he recounted the first and several occasions following where his soulmate goose, jimmy, fended off the blond man's alleyway attackers.

sam was extremely grateful that whitewing had less feral and goose-like tendencies. whitewing was extremely well behaved and had an almost human way about him, the way he honked in reply to sam or the rest of the team when they talked to him.

it was late in the evening when clint decided to plop down onto the couch and flick the channel to nbc, where tonight's host was mick jagger.

"why are we watching this?" sam was enjoying his sitcoms before the other bird man had showed up.

"i haven't watched it in ages, plus mick jagger is on tonight."

"alright, whatever you want."

the intro played like usual, and whitewing was perfectly complacent. they laughed in the right places with the occasional honking from the bird, and everything was great.

"hey man, look!" clint interrupted, keeping sam from being able to hear the punchline. "i think that's a goose!"

"why is there a goose? The skit has nothing to with-"

sam and clint seemed to come to the same realization at the same time as whitewing, the goose beginning to honk incessantly. he was going absolutely berserk, flapping his wings and hopping off of sam’s lap and onto the coffee table, occasionally pecking at the tv where he saw the other goose.

he was going absolutely bonkers.

"whitewing! whitewing, no! calm down!" sam scrambled to calm down his goose, but he was having none of it. the whole entire skit, whitewing was honking and flapping and being a general nuisance.

he found his soulmate.

whitewing kept at it until the screen went to a commercial, his soulmate off of the screen.

"y’know," clint spoke around a slice of pizza. when did he get pizza? "if you hurry, you could go to the studio and meet your soulmate. the show is about halfway over."

before sam could think over the proposition, tony’s voice was heard from the corridor. "somebody shut that damned bird up before I pay ramsay to cook it!"

"i’m taking care of it!"

with that, sam heads to the armory with whitewing on his tail to get his wings. once he's equipped, sam heads to the window and jumps, immediately setting his course for studio 8h and his soulmate.

you’re released to go back to your office once you finish the skit alongside mick and piper, the show almost over. you’re gathering your things lazily, knowing that you have no other responsibilities for the night.

just as you lock your office and piper is waddling beside you without a care in the world, you see kyle running towards you with a look of fear in his eyes. that fear seems to only triple when his eyes land on piper beside you.

"kyle! what’s-"

"there’s another goose on the set! no one is safe!"

wait, was he bleeding?!

you were going to try and help your friend but one look at piper sent him off the rails, the lanky man nearly falling on his ass in an attempt to skid the corner. you hoped that someone would help calm your panicked friend, seeing as you were literally the worst person for the job at the moment.

without further incident, you are able to say goodbye to cecily and mikey before you're stopped in your tracks by michael, who gives piper a funny look.

"wait, so the goose that attacked kyle wasn't piper?" You shake your head in confusion. "dude, your soulmate must have come to the set!"

piper must have either understood what your co-worker had said or she could sense a change in the studio, but she began to honk erratically and run away from you. the last thing new york needed was two feral geese running around attacking people, so you did what anyone would do and ran after her.

"piper! piper, come back!" michael laughed as you chased after your goose. while you were running, you nearly died when you heard a honk that you knew wasn't from your piper. hers were carved into your brain, and you were positive that you could pick hers out of an entire gaggle of geese, so there was indeed a second goose in the studio.

to your dismay, piper did not stop and wait, she just kept on honking and flapping and scaring people in pursuit of the other goose, poor old you having to chase her.

there was another voice you assumed was yelling at his goose since you didn't know of anyone naming their kid whitewing. your eyes were not looking straight ahead when you suddenly bumped into someone, immediately stumbling a bit before regaining your balance.

piper had stopped her honking and that scared you. did someone hurt her? was she-

her and another goose were making muted honks to each other. they sounded like affectionate honks, which is one of the weirdest sentences you ever constructed in your head. but it was true! they were cuddling close to each other and making really quiet honking noises at each other, and if that wasn’t affectionate then you didn’t know what would be.

so if piper found her soulmate, that means yours was-

"i hope comin' to your job was okay. whitewing wasn't gonna give up until I left, so here we are." your eyes were dragged from the touching scene of piper and her special goose to a pair of dark brown irises that radiated warmth and a promise of happy days.

you were absolutely dumbstruck. your mouth was unable to form coherent words, so you decided to take in the appearance of your soulmate. he was wearing a soft grey tee and sweatpants, and socks without shoes. did he realize how unsanitary the streets of new york were?

but upon further investigation, you realize that he probably didn't walk to the studio. on his back was what you would normally call a jetpack, but when you recognize the face your mind completes the puzzle: your soulmate is sam wilson, otherwise known as the falcon. holy shit.

"uh yeah of course, i guess you flew here? no sane person in new york would walk around barefoot in the street." did you really just say that?!

sam nodded and then remembered that he was in his pajamas in front of his soulmate without any shoes. "yeah, he wasn't gonna stop attacking the tv once he saw uh…"

you realized he was asking for your goose’s name, and so you hastily gave it to him.

"yeah, once he saw piper, he went wild. caused more chaos in five minutes than he did in five days!"

you laugh, the nervousness falling away as you recount the story of you first meeting with piper.

people are staring at the pajama-clad avenger and his soulmate, their geese finally satisfied. after all, it wasn't every day so many people were able to watch soulmate geese (and their people) meet for the first time.

sam gently took your hand, his thumb smoothing the skin on the back of it, just listening to you talk. you asked him a question about whitewing and he was in the middle of telling you when he cut himself off. "i just realized i don't even know your name!"

in most scenarios you’d be slightly put off by this, but you didn't have an issue because of the specific circumstances. if he weren't an avenger you wouldn't have known his either, and plus, no one really pays attention to the little rat writers. you give him your name and smile when he introduces himself, his voice even helping show off the brightest smile you’ve ever seen.

with impeccable goose timing, piper and whitewing honk at you to hurry your introductions and leave the studio.

"do you want to fly back to your place , or can I drive you?" it was a risk to ask him such a question, but you were genuinely concerned. you hoped he wouldn't think you were trying to jump his bones only minutes after meeting him so you used (terrible) humor to show your intentions. "you shouldn't fly so late at night without headlights, no matter how high up you get."

sam’s laughter was infectious and soon you joined him, your geese about to get more irritated with their humans.

"yeah, I'd like that. lead the way, soulmate." piper and whitewing honk as the two of you head to the lobby hand in hand, the birds waddling behind you just as happy as soulmate geese could be.

#falcon #sam wilson x reader #sam wilson #mcu #marvel #falcon falcon goose! #sam wilson imagine #falcon imagine #bucky barnes #please don’t judge this mess