#time and time again she will say one thing that changes my brain chemistry | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

seasonsbloom · 2 years

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swimming into you . bob

PART ONE : he's so pretty (when he goes down on me)

pairing ; bob floyd x female!reader

synopsis ; things between you and Bob are strictly business: he’s your backseater, and that’s all there is. Until he offers to help you let off some steam and you find out just how pretty he looks between your thighs…

wc ; 6k

warnings ; 18+ only; explicit language, angst, panic attack, reader definitely has PTSD, mentions of past character death

note: this has no smut which might be a surprise after the first part, sorry. but this needed off my chest, so... idk. i hope you enjoy it anyway, please don't be disappointed

desertsagecelestial aka sol i STILL owe you my life

Your life is a downward spiral, a maelstrom that pulls you ever deeper towards rock bottom, a rollercoaster on an eternal decline, a plane mid-crash, a…

“I swear to god, Spec, you’re the most dramatic person I’ve ever met,” Phoenix says, squinting at you over the rims of her sunglasses. “And I know Hangman personally.”

You can’t answer because you’re staring at those Ray Bans, and it’s making you think of Bob’s glasses in that bathroom, lenses fogged up, metal pressing against your naked skin, makes you think of sliding them up his nose, and then you’re thinking of his fingers and his tongue and his voice against you, and…

“Bro, are you dissociating?” Phoenix has tilted her head sideways. “Do I need to get you a doctor? What the hell is going on?”

It’s a sunny day, but that’s not surprising in California. You’re in the common room, lounging on nondescript beige couches. Outside the glass front, somewhere in the sky, Rooster and Hangman try and fail to shoot down Maverick. The radio crackles with the static of their comms, spitting out their taunts in endless circles nobody listens to anyway.

The other pilots are on standby in the hangar, and Bob is… god knows where. You hate that you’re so attuned to his every move now you notice even when you don’t know where he is. Part of you wants to write it off as the blind loyalty that comes with flying a two-seater, but you know that’s not true.

For a moment, you just look at Phoenix. Then you say, “Do you think Bob is good in bed?”

She blinks at you. A moment passes, then another, then…

“Specter, what the fuck?!”

You shrug. “I’m just asking.”

“Jesus.” Phoenix rubs the balls of her hands across her eyes like her head is about to split apart. “Why would you ever ask that?”

Because he ate me out in the Hard Deck’s handicapped bathroom, and I think it broke my brain, permanently altered my body chemistry, changed my actual life…

“Just… I don’t know. I was wondering.”

“Well, stop wondering,” she suggests. Then she gives you a suspicious look. “Did something happen between you two?”

You turn your gaze to the window, to the contrails like smoke signals on the canvas of the skies, to the roaring of engines that’s become your lullaby, to the sight of Bob crossing the airfield. Something in your chest hurts. Everywhere you look, he’s already there.

“No,” you say. “Nothing happened.”

The first time you met Bob, you looked right past him. There were bigger fish to fry here and bigger things to look out for, and Hangman was grinning at you and saying something stupid, so you walked by him without even realizing he was there.

He’s got a habit of that - flying under the radar.

“Yo, Specter.” Phoenix draped herself around you, pulled you against her chest. You were both giddy to see each other again, to fly together once more. “This is Bob. He’s your new backseater.”

You don’t remember much. Remember only that he wore glasses and was smiling at you with something eager, something hopeful about his face. Remember looking away immediately, nodding once.

“Don’t try to get in my way up there,” you told him, and then you turned away to beat Hangman at darts.

Ignoring the way his face fell. Ignoring Phoenix nudging you. Ignoring the sinking, tumbling, crashing feeling in your chest.

It was the beginning of the end, and you knew even then.

Sometimes you think Rooster knows.

He’s always been kind to you, kind enough to keep you hoping at the same time it tells you not to dream too much. He’s kind to everyone, anyway.

“Why’d you wanna be a pilot?” he asks, waving down a bartender and putting both your drinks on his tab.

For a moment, you think about telling him the truth. All my life, I’ve been dreaming of flying away. All my life, I’ve been dreaming of escape.

It seems too much. You’ve never told anyone.

So you just shrug, take a swig of your beer, and say, “I like the thrill.”

Rooster laughs. “I know what you mean,” he agrees, winks, knocks his bottle against yours.

And just like that, the door is opened again. You dream the dream a little longer.

Part of the Rooster appeal, part of why you suspect your crush is so persistent, is that there’s no way it’ll ever happen. All of the thrill of the fall, with none of the fear of the impact.

“We need to talk about it.”

You’re fastening your helmet as you stride across the runway towards your plane. Maybe if you walk fast enough, you’ll be able to shake him.

“No,” you growl, but it’s diminished by the fact that you’ve been struggling with your clasp for a good minute. Your fingers are shaking too hard for you to get a steady grip.

Bob hastens his steps and catches up with you easily. His shoulder rubs against your own, and your breath catches in your throat.

“Specter,” he begins, but you cut him off.

“There’s nothing to talk about, Floyd.” It doesn’t matter how angry you sound. It doesn’t matter how the irritation boils and burns in you. Inevitably, inexplicably, your mouth always begins to form the Big Boy anyway, and then you’re back in that bathroom, back with him, and in your head, you pull him closer instead of pushing him away, and something about it makes you feel like crying. “It doesn’t matter.”

You stop by the plane. Bob’s lips purse, and he looks down at his feet, shoulders pulled almost all the way up to his ears.

“I just think…” he begins, then stops himself.

Payback and Fanboy walk past, getting to their own aircraft, and they’re laughing and chatting—jovial, easy, light-hearted. You envy them. You can’t remember the last time things didn’t feel heavy to you.

Only that’s a lie too. You do remember. It was with Bob Floyd’s face buried in your pussy and your mind somewhere off in the stratosphere.

“Shit,” you curse, frustration coursing through you, fingers still fumbling with the damned clasp, and fuck it all, you just want to fly, you don’t want to think, you don’t want to feel, you just…

Bob knocks your fingers out of the way and closes the clasp for you. Suddenly, he’s so close you can smell him again—your chest burns.

“Specter,” he says, voice soft, “we need to discuss it.”

You swallow around the lump in your throat.

“You promised we wouldn’t talk about it,” you whisper. He seems to want to say something else, but you can’t. You just can’t do it. The fear is there, and it’s making your head spin. “Please, Bob.”

Something about those words is choked. Raw.

He looks at you for a moment, brows furrowed, eyes gentle, and then he nods. Steps away. Doesn’t say anything else.

You climb into the plane and wonder when, oh, when, did it all get so complicated.

Phoenix looks at you like she thinks you’re going to fall apart right where you sit. You hate it.

“You can talk to me, you know?” she says softly, leaning across the table in the mess hall, deep enough her chest almost ends up in the mashed potatoes. “You don’t always have to keep everything inside, Spec.”

It’s not true. That’s your first thought. You can’t talk to her, can’t talk to Bob, can’t talk to anyone. No one, you know this, is going to understand you now.

Your second thought is that you’re a horrible person. Phoenix is kind and genuinely wants to be your friend. She’s been extending hands across canyons for years now. But you just can’t take them. Too afraid you’ll drag her down into the drop with you.

“I hooked up with Bob,” you say, even though you should be telling her something else.

She obviously doesn’t know what to say to that. Opens her mouth just to close it again. Then finally settles on, “Why?”

Part of you wants to say you were the one who told me to let off steam. But this one, you can’t blame it on her. Can’t blame it on anyone but yourself.

“I don’t know,” you say with a shrug.

But you do know. That’s the problem.

You think of him on his knees in that bathroom. You think of him at your back in the air. How he breaks you apart. How he puts you back together.

“You know,” Phoenix says after an incredibly long time. “I always thought you had a crush on Rooster.”

It makes you laugh, even though it isn’t funny. Not even a little. Not even at all.

“Yeah,” you say. “Yeah, so did I.”

“So, Bob,” Hangman says, grinning in a way you can’t describe as anything other than villainous. If he, too, had a mustache, he’d be twirling it right about now. “Who do you prefer flying with: Phoenix or Specter?”

This was a horrible idea. Evenings at the Hard Deck should be barred for you from now on.

“Oh, come on,” you groan, going for nonchalance even as something inside you goes taut.

Bob looks decidedly uncomfortable, twisting his beer bottle around in his hands, fiddling with the soggy label, not looking at anyone.

“Uhm.” He shrugs. “They’re both good.”

Hangman’s having none of it.

“Nah, nah, nah, none of that diplomacy shit, Floyd. Gotta pick one.”

Coyote, always the shit-stirrer, claps a hand on Bob’s shoulder. “Yeah, bro. Who’s your best girl?”

Before responding, Bob casts his eyes down towards the floor, clears his throat. His glasses are riding low on his nose again, and you sink your fingernails into your palms to stifle the instinct to reach over and push them up for him.

“I guess… well, Phoenix is more consistent. Specter always… she’s a…. she’s a li…”

“Say it.” The words just burst from you before you can remember deciding to say them. Bob looks up then, eyes wide and face open. Your voice is venomous, and you feel like a rattlesnake about to strike. “A liability. That’s what you wanted to say, isn’t it?”

For a moment, Bob and you just stare at each other.

“I didn’t say that,” he says, voice gone soft. He’s going translucent as you speak, blending back into the chaos of the crowd.

“You didn’t have to.”

Everybody’s staring at you, but you keep your chin held high.

“I’m going home,” you say, and then you leave.

“You’re going too steep.”

Bob doesn’t have much hope that you’ll listen to him. You never do, apparently, unless he’s got you pinned to public bathroom doors.

It’s like a fever dream to him now, that night. Impossible that he was ever so close to you when all there is between you these days is distance and feelings tangled like thickets of thorns. When you won’t talk to him and won’t look at him, when it doesn’t matter what he says or asks.

Unsurprisingly, your answer is almost instantaneous. “We’re fine.”

The first time Bob met you, he couldn’t stop looking at you.

You were beautiful, in your uniform, under the bar lights. Beautiful and bright and brilliant and as decidedly out of his reach as the moon. You didn’t even look at him twice, not even after Phoenix introduced you. Drifted into his life and out of it like the specter that gave you your callsign.

And Bob never believed in love at first sight, still doesn’t, but there was something there, something beneath the thin veneer of arrogance you wore, you still wear. Something just under the surface, he thinks nobody but him sees—something he wants to keep as his secret.

You’re brilliant. The best pilot he’s ever met (even if half his friend group would balk at the idea), determined, clever, cut-throat. Stubborn to a fault. Witty and funny and always ready to stand up for yourself. The complete opposite of him.

Most of the time it’s admiration and curiosity, and then sometimes, it’s something else. When you slip from untouchable Ice Queen to something softer, when you lose yourself in the sky, in a book, in his touch in a bathroom at the Hard Deck… when you feel like nobody’s looking, that’s when Bob thinks he might love you.

Bob is a pilot. He gets up into that sky, and sometimes he deludes himself into thinking one day, one day, he’ll fly high enough, stretch far enough, and then finally, he’ll reach that moon. It’ll never happen, of course. The moon stays firm, beautiful and bright and brilliant, and achingly, eternally lonely. Never his to have.

The plane keeps climbing, steady, steady, steady, and Bob can barely breathe.

“Specter,” he chokes out. “Come on, girl.”

And then suddenly, abruptly, tipping like a pendulum, the plane falls. It’s an almost artful arch at the beginning, a ballerina angling her body towards the ground in a jump, and it leaves his stomach hanging somewhere above his head.

Then something changes. You keep falling.

“Specter, time to pull up,” Bob says, twisting to try and find Mav. Where is he?

There’s no answer.

“Specter,” he repeats, thinking you’re ignoring him for another reckless stunt, for another moment of you trying to recapture glory.

Still, you don’t respond, and that’s when he realizes something is horribly, terribly, awfully wrong.

“Specter!” he calls a third time, and now there’s a note of panic creeping into his voice he’s sure the others can pick up on over the coms. “Specter, you with me?”

The ground keeps hurtling closer. You keep silent.

“Bob.” That’s Mav’s voice, over the comms, right in his ear. “What’s going on?”

“I don’t know,” Bob gasps, and he’s breathless, he’s chafing, he’s… “She’s not… Specter!”

“Is she in g-Loc?” Rooster asks.

Rooster, Bob thinks. He twists, searching the horizon for his friend, but he can barely see anything. His vision has gone blurry.

And you’re still, still, still spinning towards the ground.

“Specter,” Bob says again, and he’s never known fear like this before. Not the first time he flew on his own. Not when he and Natasha had to punch out. Not when Mav and Rooster went down. Not ever. “Specter!”

And then he’s just saying your name, your real name, your first name, the one he’s said a million times in his head and never out loud, straining against all the buckles as if he can reach you, stretching out his arm over a distance impossible to breach.

“Bob!” That’s Rooster again. “Bob, you gotta punch out, you gotta eject now!”

I can’t leave her. That’s all he thinks. I can’t leave her, I can’t leave her, I can’t…

And Bob isn’t religious, never has been, but he’s saying, “Please, wake her up, please, God, I’ll do anything, please wake her up, please….”

You come to with a gasp like tires screeching on the asphalt, like a choir of angels or something, and then you’re pulling up, you’re getting the plane back on track, you’re…

In his ear, you’re saying, “Sorry. I… sorry.”

Bob sobs.

He knows you won’t acknowledge it before you land. He knows you’ll play it off, smile about it, laugh like nothing happened.

But he saw the tremor of your hands. He heard the fear in your voice. You can’t hide because he’s seen too much of you. Because he knows you, even if you don’t want him to.

“Specter,” he says, racing after you across the runway towards the hangar.

Everybody’s there, standing in a crowd near the doors. Pale faces, drawn with a panic that should be familiar by now, that’s part of this job. A panic nobody ever gets used to.

“I’m fine,” you say. You’re smiling, but it’s strained, and it’s a lie. He knows it is.

And Bob is angry. Angrier than he’s ever been with you because it’s not fair, not fair that you’re shutting him out, always shutting him out when all he wants is to hold you, be there for you, love you…

“You almost died!” Bob calls, voice rising, and he’s pretty sure there are still tears on his face. At least his cheeks feel wet.

Everybody’s looking at him. He can feel their eyes on him.

Usually, it would be enough to make him want to draw his head all the way between his shoulder blades, but not right now. Not with that feeling still simmering in his belly. Not with the feeling of that plummet still in his bones and the echoing silence of the cockpit in his ears.

You stop. For a moment, you gape at him. Then you say, “You would have died, too.”

He’s shaking his head before you’ve finished, frantic, saying, “I could have punched out, you were in g-LOC, you would have died, Specter, this isn’t funny, this isn’t a game, this is real….”

“I can handle myself,” you say, but something about your voice is chafing.

“I think what we just saw,” Rooster says, face solemn, arms crossed in front of his chest, “proves that even you can’t always handle yourself, Specter.”

By your hips, your hands clench and unclench into fists. Your whole body seems to pulsate to a rhythm nobody but you can hear, shoulders heaving, head nodding up and down.

You’ve always stood apart from them, even as you stood right next to them. Never letting anybody in.

I can help you, Bob wants to say. You don’t need to carry it alone.

But you’re shaking your head, pulling the helmet against your chest. Stand on that runway, a step from him, a million miles from him.

“I’m fine,” you insist one last time. Voice like a wind chime. Face like a ghost.

And Bob thinks it might be time to let the moon go.

A week later, Hangman goes down.

Birdstrike, both engines on fire, ejectejecteject, static on the radio, fire streaking across the sky, then the parachute opening and the wind howling and him floating, light as a feather, towards the ground.

You’re out of the room before you can hear how it ends. Stumbling through the hallways of the base like a sleepwalker, like a toddler, like someone on the verge of a terrible thing.

It’s growing in you, something you can’t name, something that mounts and mounts and…

In a corner, next to a water fountain, you crumble like a ragdoll. Fold yourself into a neat square of limbs, knees pulled all the way up to your eyes, face pressed into the space between them.

The panic flares into your body like electricity, tingles down your spine and into your legs, tugs at your hands and feet. And your chest is full of it, of that anxiety and that memory, so full the feeling crowds against your ribcage, threatens to snap the bones. There’s no room for oxygen.

I’m going to choke, you think. I’m going to…

“Hey.”

You know it’s Bob without looking up. You couldn’t do it anyway, even if you tried. Your muscles won’t listen to you, not now when your body belongs to the anxiety.

“It’s okay,” Bob whispers. He’s crouched in front of you, you know this because you can see his shoes through the gaps between your knees. Angled like a V, straining towards you. “He’s fine. Hangman’s fine.”

It should bring relief, but it doesn’t. You shake your head, forehead still smashed against your knees, and your skin tugs against the patellas.

No, you think. I can’t do it. Not again, not again, not again. Please, god, make it end, just make it stop, I can’t, I can’t, I…

“I can’t,” you say, and you don’t know what you mean.

All you can think about is the crash. The gravity pulling at your chest. A canopy exploding above you. The pain of that dislocated shoulder. And then the emptiness, the aching, endless emptiness of the after. The guilt, the grief, the fear, the fear, the fear.

“Can I touch you?”

Bob’s voice is so soft, even with the underlying current of firmness. Just like it was in that bathroom. And it should be an oxymoron - for someone to be so tender, for someone to be so unyielding. But it’s not, not with Bob. Bob, who seems to contain true multitudes.

You nod because you can’t find your voice.

He draws you into his arms, right there on the floor. Hands on your back, tugging you against his chest, urging your head into the space below his chin. He’s so warm, and he smells nice, and he’s everywhere.

“Easy,” he whispers. “It’s alright. You’re okay.”

And then it’s just him. The steady beat of his heart instead of the screaming of warning systems. The smell of his aftershave instead of the smoke and the gasoline. His fingers pressing into your spine instead of the straps cutting into your shoulders.

Bob holds you together until you can do it yourself.

You draw back, slowly, almost reluctantly, and the moment his touch is gone, you miss it like something intrinsic to you. Miss it like a limb.

“I’m sorry,” you whisper. You don’t want to look at him. You can’t look at him.

Bob exhales.

“Don’t apologize,” he says. “Can you… explain it?”

You suppose you should. Suppose you owe it to him after these weeks. After everything you’ve put him through.

“It… it scared me,” you whisper. It takes a lot to get that out, to admit that there’s anything, anywhere, that could scare you.

You don’t want Bob to know. You want Bob to think of you as someone above things like fear, someone strong and brave and whole. But it’s just all too much. You’re eroding, crumbling, tumbling off the tightrope you’ve been walking for so long.

If someone like Hangman, someone brilliant, someone fantastic, someone who burns brighter than life, can go down… then what about you? What about Bob?

“The rest, too.” At your questioning look, he elaborates, “Explain all of it to me.”

You could keep pretending you don’t understand him, but you’re too tired. Something about the panic has made you fuzzy, has blurred your edges, and you just want it to be over. You just want to be rid of everything clogging up your chest.

You want to feel again what you felt that night in the bathroom with Bob. You want somebody to carry the burden with you, so you won’t feel it dragging you beneath the surface of the ocean all the time.

“I killed her,” you say finally. The words are barely more than a whisper, but they burst from somewhere at the very core of you. Something you’ve kept hidden from view for years.

Bob pauses. Stares.

“... What?”

“I killed her,” you repeat, voice watery, hands shaking. “My last backseater. I killed her.”

He opens his mouth only to close it again—shifts his weight where he’s still sitting on the ground. Your knees are almost touching.

“Spec…” he begins, but you don’t let him finish.

“Everybody always said it, you know? That I was a wildcard, that I just… did whatever I wanted without thinking about others. Everybody but her. She’d always say, oh, you just don’t understand her, she’s brilliant, she knows what she’s doing, she….” You have to stop yourself, have to suck in a breath that sounds like you’re drowning, like your lungs are filling up with water. “And then one day we had a fight. She said that I… that I didn’t listen to her up in the air, that I always trusted myself more than I trusted her, and she… she called me a liability.”

Something in Bob’s eyes shifts, something like understanding flutters across his face, but the dam inside of you has broken. The river rushes without stopping.

“So I decided to prove her wrong. I wanted to go right, but she told me to go left, and I did. We got into a jet stream. I lost control of the plane. We had to eject. I made it, and she didn’t.”

You pause then. Blink against that horrible, unforgiving, brilliant sun outside the window. Your cheeks are wet.

“She was my best friend, Bob.” Your voice breaks, and you fold in on yourself, deflate. “She was the only one who ever believed in me. I knew her since we were eighteen, we did everything together, I only started flying two-seaters so I could fly with her, and you have to understand, I would have… if I could have changed it, if I could have died instead of her, I would have, I wouldn’t even have thought about it, I… And I know I’m not a… not a good person, I know I’m selfish and mean, and I hurt people all the time, and I know I hurt you, but I just… ” You trail off. Your voice is barely more than a whisper. “She was my best friend.”

It’s not nearly enough to explain what she meant to you. It’s all you have.

Bob doesn’t answer for a long time. When you finally find the courage to look up at him, you brace yourself for the inevitable: shock, disgust, disdain.

You find none of it.

Bob looks at you with a tenderness on his face that punches all the air out of your lungs.

“Why didn’t you tell me this sooner?” he asks, voice soft.

It’s almost helpless, the way you can do nothing but shrug your shoulders.

“It’s not…” You can’t look at him anymore, afraid you’ll do something stupid, afraid you’ll kiss him or tell him something you won’t be able to take back. “I didn’t think you’d care.”

Bob’s brows furrow.

“Of course I care,” he says, as matter-of-factly as if he’s chatting about the San Diego weather. “I care about you, Specter. I always have.”

You don’t know what to say to that. It tugs at you with ice-cold fingers, even as warmth spreads through your stomach. And it scares you, hearing him say that. He shouldn’t care about you. Not if he knows what’s good for him.

“I’m sorry,” you say after a long, long moment. “I’m sorry for… at the Hard Deck, I think I needed somebody, and you were there, and it… I used you. I’m sorry for it. I made a mistake.”

When you look at him next, something on Bob’s face has changed. Some window that was previously thrown wide open is shut. He looks down towards his shoes, glasses sliding slowly, slowly towards the tip of his nose.

“Up in the air,” he says finally. “I get it now, I think. Why you don’t listen to me. But I… Don’t you trust me?”

Hearing him say it hurts somewhere at the very core of you. In the grand scheme of things, in the great failure of your life, Bob is probably the person you trust most.

“I do,” you whisper, shaking your head. Folding your fingers in your lap and biting your lip so hard the sting distracts you from whatever is going on in your chest. “I just… I trust myself more. I have to trust myself more.”

Bob is quiet for a long, long moment. Then he nods.

“I understand,” he says, but it sounds like he wants to say something else entirely. “Can we just… let’s be friends, Spec. Please.”

And he sounds tired. The kind of fatigue that goes bone-deep, that travels over days and nights and weeks, the kind of fatigue you carry with you wherever you go. You know how that feels.

It’s a horrible thought just how much you’ve hurt Bob, and so you’ve never allowed yourself to think it. Have brushed it off and brushed it away, under beds and under carpets and into handicapped bathrooms with broken locks. Have pretended you couldn’t tell in the cockpit, pretended you didn’t see it in the mess hall when his face fell after another scathing remark, another dismissal.

All the way, you told yourself you were doing it for him - it’s not good to get close to you. You’ve never learned how to build things, grow things. All you know is how to ruin them.

So you say, “I don’t want to be your friend, Bob. I want to be alone.”

Behind the sheen of his glasses, Bob’s eyes are wet.

“I don’t think that’s true at all,” he says, finally.

And then he gets up, walks away, and leaves you behind on the floor, a town buried beneath a landslide, a meteor crater, a canyon of sand and rock, and the lone survivor clawing his way over the edge.

“Nat says you have a crush on me.”

Rooster gives no greeting, simply slides into the unoccupied seat by your side with those words. He’s broad enough that he dwarfs the rickety chair, the Hawaiian shirt so out of place in the beiges and grays of this military base.

A week ago, maybe you would have been embarrassed. Now, you can barely muster a shrug.

“What’s it matter?”

Rooster raises an eyebrow. The television room is deserted save for the two of you - some movie is playing with the volume all the way down, but you haven’t even been paying enough attention to tell if it’s a romantic comedy or a slasher.

“It matters,” he says.

You shake your head, staring down at the packet of gum in your hand. The whole room smells like mint.

“I wasn’t ever going to act on it,” you say, “that’s why it doesn’t matter. It’s just… there. It doesn’t change anything for you.”

Rooster is quiet for a moment. And then he says, “It doesn’t work like that.”

“Hm?”

“The way you think it does,” he elaborates as if that clears it up. “You think you can just walk through life and not affect others. You think if you’re just mean and closed-off, if you never let somebody in, you won’t matter to them. That you won’t hurt them. That then they can’t hurt you. That’s not how it works, Spec.”

You exhale. It feels a little like he’s just pried open your chest, pulled all your most private, darkest thoughts into the world.

“I… I don’t know what you mean.”

“It’s like this.” Bradley leans forward, sun-tanned hands reaching for you across the gray, gray expanse of the table. He doesn’t touch you, but he leaves his hands palms-up, an offering between you. “There are people here that love you, Spec. Even if maybe sometimes you don’t deserve that love. And you have the power to hurt them, just like they have the power to hurt you. You’re already in it. You’re just pretending you’re not.”

You grind your teeth. It’s too much. You can’t do it.

Eject, eject, eject, your mind is screaming at you, but it’s like you can’t find the cord.

“Bradley…” you begin, without knowing where you want the sentence to end.

“And you don’t have a crush on me.”

He says it like it’s a fact. He says it like he knows you better than you know yourself.

You’re beginning to suspect he might have a point.

“I think I know when I have a crush,” you say quietly.

“No, you don’t. Otherwise, you’d know you’re head-over-heels for Bob. Otherwise, you’d know he’s loved you since the first time he’s seen you.”

You think of Bob - Bob on his knees at the Hard Deck, Bob’s voice pulling you from the deepest, densest darkness of your life, Bob silhouetted by the unforgiving sun as you splintered into shards of glass right in front of him, as the contents of your life spilled across his feet and drenched him in your night.

It feels like being pressed into the seat at take-off - anticipation, fear, relief… You’re on the verge of something.

“Specter.” Rooster leans low across the table, his face in your field of vision. Kind eyes, kind mouth, kind face. The sort of kindness you don’t deserve. The sort of kindness that rips holes into your life and your resolve and your heart. “You don’t really want me. You just want to want someone and not be afraid they’ll hurt you. You just want to want someone without it being real. Because then it won’t hurt.”

I already know this, you want to tell him, but you can’t. Something about hearing it from him, something about realizing you’re not half as complex as you always thought you were, is strangely reassuring at the same time it makes your stomach churn.

“And you’re scared to want Bob. Because that would be real. Because that could hurt.”

Bob Floyd, who is so much kinder than you ever deserved. Bob Floyd, who has your back. Bob Floyd, who loves you, even when you don’t know how to love yourself.

“It already does, though,” you whisper, your voice impossibly small, your eyes burning. “It already does hurt, Rooster.”

And Rooster smiles. The sight of it plants a hope inside you you didn’t think you were capable of anymore - a sapling fighting its way through concrete.

“That, Specter,” he says, “is how you know it’s real.”

Bob is crying when he opens his door.

He stands there in plaid pajama pants and a white shirt, without his glasses, hair no longer slicked back but curly and soft, and you remember sinking your fingers into it, remember wanting to ask what conditioner he uses, remember…

“Do you love me?” you blurt.

Bob blinks and opens his mouth. His cheeks are wet.

“I…”

You don’t let him finish.

“Because I don’t know if I love you. But I know that I like you. And I know that I’m scared, Bob, I’m so fucking scared. Every day of my life, I’m scared. I’m scared that you’ll die because I trust you, and I’m scared that you’ll die because I don’t trust you, and I’m scared that maybe I could love you, and I’m scared that you’ll hurt me or that I’m always going to keep hurting you and I don’t… I don’t know what to do. I don’t know what to do with all this fear, Bob.”

And then it’s Bob, the WSO. Bob the pragmatic. Bob the fucking best boy you’ve ever met.

He nods, says, “I know.” And then he takes a deep breath. Goes on, “You don’t need to know any of that stuff. You don’t even have to not be scared. Spec, fuck, I’m scared. I’m scared of how much I like you, and I’m scared of how much you’re hurting all the time, how tightly you keep that all locked up. I’m not asking you not to be any of those things. I’m just… I’m just asking you to talk to me. Let’s figure it out together.”

When he says it like that, it seems almost easy. Simple. Logical.

“For the record,” you say, voice a ruin, and you’re pretty sure you might be crying too, “I don’t think it was a mistake. What we did at the Hard Deck, I mean. I think it… I think it may have been the best decision of my life. I don’t make a lot of those.”

And Bob smiles. Steps to the side and opens his door to you.

“You wanna come in?”

You do.

In his bedroom, with his arms around you, it’s almost enough to pretend you’re whole again. It’s enough to know you’ll get there someday. To a point where you’ll know how to grow things instead of ripping them out of the earth. To a point where maybe, finally, you’ll deserve that love Bob hands out so freely.

In his bedroom, with his arms around you, it’s a little like drowning. It’s a little like flying.

#bob x reader #bob floyd #top gun maverick #robert floyd x reader #bob floyd fic #bob top gun #bob fic #top gun fic #top gun imagine #mine #writing #f: hsp

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obimaulartfire · 9 months

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Do you ever just...wake up and think about how Obi-wan was, for most of his life, Maul's reason to live?

Let me explain, and this is one of the main reasons I was drawn to ObiMaul in the first place. (long ramble below)

We're all aware of the events at the reactor fight, and it'd be an understatement to say it was a very hostile first encounter. But it's in the aftermath where the dynamic gets interesting.

Maul survived on his own, for years, with only his top half. As a former biology major, sometimes I think about how possible this would be in real life, if at all. It would be insanely uncomfortable at best, and impossible at worst. But through the excruciating pain, Maul survived, fueled purely by his intense hatred/obsession with Kenobi (and some star wars darkside magic, I'm sure).

Maul says this himself when first meeting Obi-wan again in season 4 of The Clone Wars:

"You would never imagine the depths I'd go to to stay alive, fueled by my singular hatred...for you."

Imagine being on the brink of death, with half of your circulatory system GONE, your heart beating irregularly, and your "lower half" being in constant pain, but still finding something to live for, and living...for YEARS. That's impressive. Hate-filled or not, it's hard to deny that for that time, thoughts of Obi-wan literally kept Maul alive for a decade.

Maul comes back to the series having been left for dead by Sidious, with spider legs he made himself, and no sense of time and a destroyed sense of sanity. Yet, he lives.

And additionally, revenge on Sidious is only second in his thoughts to his revenge on Obi-wan, even though Sidious is technically the one who left him for dead. Since Maul can't sit still, he did many other things during the Clone Wars in accordance with his own ambitions, likely to attempt to reclaim that part of his life that had been lost to Lotho Minor, but that's a tangent for another post.

He gets revenge on Obi-wan (I guess) by killing Satine, but even that isn't enough for him, as evidenced by the Satine hate shrine that we see in Rebels, when Ezra visits Maul's cave on Dathomir:

(on a side note, there is no sane heterosexual explanation for this^, I'm sorry/j)

Why would you keep a memento of someone you've killed? Why would you cross out their eyes? Maul didn't hate Satine that much, and it's my opinion that he did this because she was important to Obi-wan.

And that brings me to my next point: Rebels Maul

Y'all.... there's a reason the title of my blog is "Twin Suns Changed My Brain Chemistry", because I vaguely had feelings about these two in Clone Wars, but Rebels really cemented this dynamic for me.

I cannot emphasize enough that in Rebels, Maul thinks Obi-wan Kenobi is dead. Whether he got killed in Order 66 or when Vader and the Inquisitors started purging Force Users, there was maybe a .000001% chance that any Jedi, especially Obi-wan, would have survived that. And yet. When we enter Rebels, we find Maul on Malachor, stuck on the planet looking for the Sith holocron.

WHY is he trying to find the Sith holocron? In Maul's own words:

"As for me, I...seek something much simpler, yet equally elusive... Hope."

Hope? That surely isn't a Sith ideal. It's revealed later that the only reason Maul wants to combine these ancient artifacts is to learn whether or not Obi-wan Kenobi is alive. I shit you not.

This implies that Maul has had Hope that Obi-wan has been alive for what... 15 years? That's a long time. At this point, Maul may be like, 49 or 50. He has been fixated on Obi-wan for 30 years of his life. Thoughts of Obi-wan kept him going and going and going for 3/5ths of his life. Even when he thinks Obi-wan has died, he spends 15 years trying to find him, just hoping that he is alive. But for what?

It's unclear to me what Maul, in canon, really desires from Obi-wan. But one thing for sure is that Obi-wan acts as a...source of emotions for Maul. A source of feelings, and a reason to keep going through times that other characters would give up.

Other characters may have survived, but Maul lived because of Obi-wan. Through being bisected, the Clone Wars, being chased by Vader and the Inquisitors, and through periods of despair.

And before the end, he just wants to find his reason to live again, and dies in his arms.

#obimaul #obi wan x maul #i've been writing this for hours #i just have a lot of feelings #star wars headcanons #long post #sw rebels #swtcw #darth maul #obiwan kenobi #i'm so afraid to put my thoughts out there but tumblr is the perfect platform for that so #one day i really hope to capture the raw emotion in this duo bc i crave it and there's not a lot of content out there like that #thank you for coming to my ted talk

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t3mp4cheololo · 5 months

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Alina Afanaskina diary(English)

maybe it`s not her diary, idk, but also...

Post from 2.08 11:49 Moscow time

02.08 If you're reading this, then I'm already dead (or I've been detained)

How you fucked me up, you fuckers. I'm writing this in tears, I hate school and everything related to it. I would fucking shoot you all

I'm not a terrorist, and I'm not even a school girl, I just want to kill a couple of nasty people who ruined my life and it wouldn't hurt to shoot myself.

13.08 Right now I'm looking at Dad`s weapon and I want to shoot myself…

14.08 The holidays would rather be over (for the first time I want this), I think I will surprise them on the first of September <3

20.08 Dasha, along with her dumb friends, grins at me, fucking came into MY room and also with her friends and dares to laughing over me ☠️ ☠️ ☠️ ☠️ ☠️ The only thing that comforts me is the fact that I'm going to shoot her.

31.08 Tomorrow I will kill those who have been killing my psyche throughout my life, but I feel so calm every day is the same as it always will be.. idk what will happen

01.09 I HAVE ALREADY TAKEN THE KEY, I HAVE ALREADY OPENED THE SAFE, BUT THERE IS NO GUN, IT LOOKS LIKE IT IS IN THE GARAGE

Fuck it, they were just lucky.

Now I've come home from school and I'm happy, but I could have killed them all…

04.09 This shit begins, today I went to the blackboard to take books and the stupid whore Nastya gave me the ugliest and torn books (on purpose), she is laughing and the whole class is there too, MMMMM HOW FUNNY

07.09 I'm sitting in Columbine chats and threw a splint on a bomb, can I use it too? There's a shorter guy saying "today with the permission of Allah" ahhahaha

I FOUND A CHANNEL THERE 700 RECIPES FOR DIFFERENT EXPLOSIVES AHAH CAN BLOW THEM UP?!?! hmm, maybe it's not for nothing that my father left a weapon in the garage, after all, natural selection, fate

11.09 Congratulations to Ilnaz, Dylan on his birthday, I wish you health and happiness

30.09 Oh, I forgot about this diary, I haven't been writing anything for a long time. Well, I'll say that things have not changed in any way, the creatures torment my psyche as soon as possible, I'm hz, I'm afraid to do shooting and suicide. But I really want to

14.10 Nothing interesting, as always, day after day with bullying. Even at home, a fucked-up father and a fucked-up sister fuck brains

15.10 Oh, I found the mining manual of the school hmmm interesting

there was a link here

There's only one drawback, I don't know how to make bombs.

And what he tells me, I don't fucking understand, I couldn't learn chemistry properly, what do you think because of whom?)))

16.10 Fuck, I don't even know how to shoot normally, I've never been taught that. But it seems to me that it's easy, like I'm watching videos on YouTube right now, I've already learned how to reload a gun.

11.11 I want to kill more and more, fucking so many months have passed and I still haven't killed them. God, I don't even have time to run this fucking note channel, I live in fear all the time. ABSOLUTELY EVERYONE HATES ME. But now they'll love me.

29.11 Bitch, I can't anymore, it's fucked up!!

01.12 I have lost any sense of waiting when I grow up. I can't stand their antics anymore. And I won't. I don't know when I'm going to kill them, damn it, I'd like to do it sooner

02.12 Anyway, next week I will definitely shoot them

06.12 I forgot to write, but I'll go tomorrow, the weapon is still at home. It's just not profitable for me to go to the garage. And then dad will take him away again, most likely somewhere. I'm just burned out already.

07.12 :(

Post from 7.12 This message is set on a timer for 12/07/23:50. (I hope by that time they will know that there was a shooting)

Started writing this 02.12 | 20:59.

If you are reading this message, it means you somehow found out about my channel.

(I hope the channel won’t be deleted by then.. Or I hope they won’t find this old phone, because I want to help someone with my life story)

Although who knows, perhaps no one will ever know about the existence of this channel.

And I will remain to rot in the grave and no one will even remember me and my story.

In short, yes, things suck! My father hits me sometimes. My sister, excuse me, is sucking him off or something, or how can I explain that it’s just me that everyone at home hates… Well, even at school they bully, although no, the fucking creatures, brainless classmates, are “just joking.”

Their “roffles” are not funny at all and not without insult, as the teacher said when my classmates scratched me “accidentally” with a pen cap until they bled <> I don’t remember what she said there.

I wish everyone who hates me to go through what I went through. I first started cutting myself at the age of 8, AT EIGHT YEARS OLD!! When all the children live a happy life, I cry and pray for death. I've changed, I don't cut myself so much anymore, rarely very much. Now I hate not myself, but everyone around me. You are pathetic creatures who don’t even notice the problem under your nose (me).

Therefore, I hope that I will kill everyone I wanted, namely: father, Dasha, Nastya, Kirill, Anton, Masha, Sasha, Vanya, Artyom and maybe Yegor. Well, it would be nice for myself too))) I don’t want to go to prison, and I don’t want to live at all.

I think that at the beginning of the night I’ll quietly kill Dasha and dad and steal the weapon… then I’ll go to hell (school), go into my class and shoot them at the beginning, and then I’ll go look for other creatures who also managed to ruin my life.

Although I’m not sure that I’ll be able to kill them, I’m afraid to pierce a human body with a sharp object, I’m not some kind of sick maniac, I’m out of despair, as it were…

I believe that this is how we need to fight bullying, because other methods imposed by teachers and society do not work at all.

“don’t pay attention to them”, “tell them you’re not happy”🤡🤡

If they systematically bully you, fucking kill them. They ruined your life, you must do it, because they will multiply and more people will suffer. And perhaps many more people will die. It is better to immediately kill these socially rotting creatures and commit suicide than to commit only suicide. DO YOU UNDERSTAND???

What can I recommend to people who read this when “fighting” bullying:

Well, you need to understand and be aware of what you are going to, in order to kill people you need to know about the consequences and about past killers. Therefore, go to YouTube, Wikipedia and watch videos about Columbine, school shooting, revenge, etc. watch how to shoot, how to reload. If there are no weapons and there won’t be any in the future for some reason, kill or blow up the offenders. You can also watch how to cut on YouTube, although this does not require any special skills. By the way, I came up with an idea, I’ll take my dad’s knife with me just in case, in case they take my weapon away, I’ll cut something then, but I don’t know, I’ll think about it again.. I repeat, this is scary for me. It's scary to feel your insides with a knife. It's actually much better to shoot.

To blow up the same thing, look on YouTube for lessons on how to make explosives, only you need to know chemistry, I don’t know huh, so I’ll do without a bomb (this is really difficult for me).

In general, my life was not the best, and if there had been an opportunity, I would have been born again (only in a normal family) and would have lived normally.

I realized that it was better not to say anything than to say some kind of bullshit and then for months to hear quotes of my words with the antics of my classmates.

By the way, I am a kind person, I love animals and nature, because they are not people. They can't hurt me. The only people I feel comfortable with are cats <3

I don’t deserve to die, I’m very sorry that I’m taking this step. But understand, it was necessary.

If you want to try to understand me, watch the movie "Class", I am very similar to the main characters.

Oh, I feel so good that I spoke out. I hope that someone will hear and understand me, but fortunately I will already be in a coffin, I don’t give a fuck.

Sorry.

(there may be grammatical mistakes here)

#tc community #tccblr #alina afanaskina

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xoxomoonlightxoxo · 4 months

Text

Don't Get Attached | Part 2

➪ Playlist (Spotify)

➪ W/c: 1137

No Strings Attached

I’m not sure what you would call what Jungkook and I are. Friends? Lovers? Friends with benefits, maybe? Labels are confusing, but as far as people around us are concerned, we are “dating”. If you consider physical attraction dating then whatever floats your boat I guess. The thing is that neither of us is seeking any other source of attraction, or even if we were then it’s clear that neither of us is willing to showcase it. Jungkook is the type to never have heard the word “no” so it’s easy for him to get what he wants. And currently, his fixation has been me, specifically the chemistry between us. But, I’m not the type to be played around with either, so with two strong-headed players it’s difficult to highlight the whole picture without missing the small details. Thus, we keep each other in place, allowing only surface affection to prevent deep-rooted emotional damage. Don’t get attached y/n.

Checking my watch for the tenth time, I shiver in my little jean jacket as the cashier at the ticket kiosk announces the final show times before closing. See, Jungkook and I planned to watch the new Spider-Man movie together, but the only problem is that he is nowhere to be found. Each one of my attempts at calling him goes straight to voicemail. Has he forgotten about our date? Not very on brand of him but maybe something has come up, so I decide to text him instead.

y/n: Hey, where are you? The theatre closes in about 45 minutes. Are you ok? Please call me.

No reply. Very strange. Actually, what’s more strange is the fact that his location has been turned off for the past 2 hours. Trying really hard not to go into a manic episode I focus on some deep breathing before succumbing to the sharp pain in my chest. Although my brain is telling me to stay calm, the heart never lies, right? Following my own delusion, I decided to stop by his apartment as there are a plethora of places Jungkook could be at right now, but this one just feels like a good start.

“Thank you,” I say to the taxi driver before making my way towards Jungkook’s apartment complex. It’s now about 11 pm, so the streets are quiet. As the elevator doors close, the sharp feeling in my chest intensifies making it hard to breathe. Nonetheless, I shake away the nerves and knock on his front door. No one answers, so I try again before using the spare key he gave me to “keep just in case I missed him at night”.

As the door slowly opens, my eyes scan the room for any signs of Jungkook. Although nothing was out of the ordinary, there was a sweet smell of cherry blossom lingering in the air, which did strike me as a surprise since he is more of a vanilla-scent type of guy. But, people change I guess, so I lock the door behind me before tiptoeing towards his bedroom.

“Jungkook hurry, I miss you,” a woman's voice echoes behind the bedroom door before it swings open. My mouth slightly drops at the sight of a half-naked redhead who seems to be just as confused as I am.

“Who are you?” she snaps, eying me up and down before turning her head towards the bathroom where Jungkook was currently in. I abrupt her attempt at getting his attention by pulling her out of the bedroom, slowly shutting the door behind me.

“I … I just needed to drop off something, but now I see that it's not the best time so I'll just head out. Umm, no need to tell Jungkook,” words stutter out of my mouth as my body begins to fuel with adrenaline from the sudden rush of emotions. Folding her hands in front of her chest, the redhead watches me rush out of the apartment before turning her attention back to Jungkook whose wet hair was dripping down his exposed chest.

“Who was that?”

“Some girl, she said she needed to drop something off …”

“Fuck y/n was here? Why didn’t you call me?” he snaps harshly, putting on a pair of grey sweatpants and a black hoodie over his freshly washed body before rushing out the door.

The corridor towards the elevator seemed to never end as my steps got faster and my breathing slower. Pressing the 1st-floor button, my body finally gave in as I leaned back on the cold wall before resting my head. Looking at my reflection I can feel my eyes water, pathetic really. I told you not to get attached y/n. What did you expect from a relationship with no strings attached?

Before my subconscious could answer, the inner dialogue was interrupted by Jungkook, whose tattooed arm was now holding back the elevator door from closing. Quickly wiping the tears from my face I move to the other side as he stumbles inside.

“Y/n …” he lets out, voice raspy and deep. Turning on the emergency button, he turns his face towards me as the elevator halts. Feeling as if time had stopped completely, our bodies were still, eyes locked on each other.

“Y/n, please let me explain,” Jungkook whispers, reaching out his hands before I push them away.

“No need, I totally get it,” I snap, trying to maintain my composure as my throat tightens. Holding back the tears in my eyes I bite down on my lip, reaching out to press the 1st floor button again before I'm inches away from Jungkook's chest as his broad shoulders tower over my form. As my back hits the wall, goosebumps rise all over my skin from the sudden cold sensation.

“Jungkook, move or else I'll scream,”

“Do it. Scream, yell, I don't care, just please don't leave like this,” he says softly, pressing his forehead on mine as the scent of his body wash fills the small space between us.

“What do you want me to do? Dance? Do you want me to skip from joy upon seeing a half-naked woman in your apartment? Huh?” I yell at him, unable to control the tone in my voice any longer. Trying to push myself out of his grip I gasp for air as my throat tightens again.

“Shhh y/n please, you need to calm down,” Jungkook sighs, caressing the palms of my hands before meeting my teary eyes.

“Don’t tell me what to do, in fact, don’t ever talk to me again. Forget we ever happened. Here …” I scoff, placing the spare key into his hand before finally reaching for the 1st-floor button. As the elevator gets back in motion, his grip loosens but doesn’t let go completely.

“Hope she was worth it,”

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citadelsanchez · 2 years

Note

Could you possibly do a longer comfort oneshot? Rick hears child y/n crying in her bed from a nightmare, and she ends up revealing that she’d been sa’d. He comforts her and talks to her that it wasn’t her fault, but like, how rick would..and he tells her he’ll be back in a second to tuck her in and goes and kills the one who did it? then comes back like nothing happened, tucks her, in, and tells her goodnight

I’m sorry that this is specific- if your uncomfortable with this that is perfectly okay and I understand.

Absolutely, I loved this idea! It's one of my fav that I've written so far, if not the favorite. Enjoy!

~~~~~~~ [TW: SA]

"Whatever, you old man. I am incapable of getting drunk. I wouldn't be talking to you right now if I were" Y/N slurs, jumping onto the bed and holding her arms outstretched.

Rick rolls his eyes quickly. "Yes sweetie, very convincing. You can definitely hold your weight" he responds, patting Y/N on the head.

"Riiiiick come on, I know you hate affection, and people in general and everything nice, but can we just cuddle?" Y/N asks, looking up hopefully.

Rick stands unwavering by the drunken stupor she was in. "No. Y-you need to sleep this off" he responds, pulling the covers over her body now.

She smiled in response, happy to be tucked in and given his attention in some way at least. She knew that deep down she'd changed his brain chemistry a little bit. He actually cared for her and things like this were why he couldn't deny it.

"Goodnight Y/N" he spoke as he looked at her face to see she had already passed out.

He walked slowly out of the room, closing the door behind him. Walking back to his garage, Rick pulled out a few tools to work on one of his unorthodox projects. As he was hammering a switch into his newly made accessory, he heard a faint weeping. Rick paused and looked around, frowning. He pulled out his emotion detecting device and scanned the walls of the house.

Okay, it's not any of the family, or Y/N. Where is the noise coming from?

He rummaged through a box on his shelf until he found a different device. Past Parallel Emotion Detector. It works by keeping track of emotions of those within the house from the past, back to the beginning of their lives. If an emotion one experiences is too strong or overbearing, it alerts the device to go off.

He looked onto the small screen to see a child- a little girl who looked to be about 8. That's not Beth or Summer. Holy shit. It's Y/N, he registered.

Rick shot a portal into the wall and stepped through, where he was met with the young Y/N in real time. She was sobbing frantically, with the blankets clutched up to her chest, sharp and muffled inhales breaking up the tears.

Rick walked very slowly towards her, until she turned to see him and widened her eyes a bit.

"H-hey it's okay, Y/N. What's wrong, why are you upset?" He asks.

"I-I-just, well, it's a lot. How do you know my name?" She questions, looking up at him with a mix of fear and wonder.

Rick bends down now to level with her on the side of the bed and give a weak smile.

"I'm Rick, I'm uh, from the future sweetie. We're-we're really good friends there."

"Oh" she says, still sniffling and uses the blanket to wipe her tears.

She's adorable, he thinks. He'd never tell the current Y/N that, but she has always been so sweet and lovely.

"S-so what's wrong? Why are you crying like this?" He asks again.

She shakes a bit as she stares up at Rick, deciding to trust him since he is gentle with her and seems so familiar to her somehow.

"H-he, my uncle, mom's br-brother, he uh-

Her eyes gloss over again and she struggles to get the words out.

Rick places a hand on the bed, listening intently. "What did he do, darling?"

Tears silently slipped from her eyes again now and she recounted it. "He.. he touched me, you know? An-and it didn't feel nice."

Rick stiffened as he realized the severity of the situation and his eyes blackened. Motherfucker. I had no idea Y/N had been through this, she's never told me.

He awkwardly raised a hand to gently pat Y/N on the head. Comforting has never really been his forte. "U-uh, Y/N I'm- I'm so sorry honey, it's not your fault. He's a piece of s- he's an awful person and you deserve better."

She sniffles quieter now. "Th-thank you. I haven't told momma yet. I-I don't know if-i-if I should."

"You should sweetheart, but not until you're ready. In the meantime, I'll- I'm gonna take care of it. He won't do it a-again, okay?" Rick ruffles her hair a little.

Her lips curve into a smile now as she wipes her eyes. "O-okay Rick. I believe you."

"I'll be right back, I'm gonna come back to-to um tuck you in okay?" Y/N nodded in response.

Satisfied that she'd calmed down now, but full of white rage, Rick stepped away from the bed and plugged a Location radar chip into his ear. When it beeped, he shot a portal open and went through.

There in a worn down recliner, lined on the floor with pizza boxes and take out dinners, was the bastard that did this to Y/N. The pathetic weakling that gets to call himself "family." Not for long.

"What the FUCK?" The man jumped backwards in the chair, too visibly lazy and cowardice to even stand upright from the shock of a stranger suddenly invading his home.

Rick felt his entire body pulse with anger. "You." He got as close to his face as possible before pulling his gun from his lab coat pocket and blasting the trigger.

The scene was left gory and violent, and Rick was satisfied. He whirred his clothing microchip and changed from the blood stained clothes to a fresh set of clean ones.

Stepping back in the portal, he sat down by Y/N's bedside once more. "Hey, he can't h-hurt you ever again now. I made sure of that," he spoke lightly.

Y/N reached for his hand, placing her tiny one on top of it. "Thank you Rick. You're like an alien guardian angel."

This got a laugh out of him, as he brought the blankets over her and made sure she was covered up.

"Goodnight, Y/N. Sleep well."

#rick sanchez #rick sanchez x reader #tw: sa #tw: assault #rick and morty #rick and morty season 6

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thefourchimes · 12 days

Text

lots of encanto AUs i want to talk about so here you go

so uh, i've been brain rotting and hyperfixating on encanto for a bit now, and its been very fun

tho i've barely talked about some of the ideas and aus i have and want to share, so i guess i want to do that now in a way, so uh... (mirabel voice) lets go lets go

List of AUs here:

Time Travel AU

Big Hero 6 AU

[Redacted] AU (not the au's actual name, hidden for reasons)

Ghost Cocoon AU (fusion idea au i came up with of the cocoon au by @raefever and ghost grandchildren au by @jerseyk112, both found in @gamerbearmira's blog)

Giftless Grandkids AU (idea by anon, also found in @gamerbearmira's blog)

Undertale AU

Gravity Falls AU

P.S. some of these au ideas are not originally mine, but i've contributed to them in some way, and i've credited and tagged the creators

More information of the AUs found below

1. Time Travel AU

first au i've ever thought about, cool hue sisters centered, because i love them sm and i was still finding my footing in encanto and the fandom when i thought of this au, and yeah

its where isabela and luisa get sent back to the past after going after and protecting mirabel as casita falls

i gained the idea after seeing how the two older sisters were still so terrified of alma and disappointing her that they couldn't stand up for mirabel and for themselves, but as casita was falling, they weren't about to let their baby sister go, not after everything

despite this being the first au, its also still really vague and barebones in a sense, not much planned yet and its all just vibes, plus i just really wanted a cool sisters au because i love them sm

2. Big Hero 6 AU

ah yes, big hero 6 au, my beloved

came to be when i figured out bear aka @gamerbearmira's reference in one of her encanto one shots, the scooby doo one where they got arrested, and she used bh6's aunt cass' rant for alma's rant in said one shot, and then it led me to realize the potential of encanto big hero 6 au with bear, so that was fun

there's a post in bear's blog for the au, so you can check it out

there's a bunch more info that we haven't shared yet, but it's all written up in the docs for it, so yesyes

honestly been a bit since i touched the au personally, as i keep getting distracted by the other ones below

but yeah, planning on exploring of this au soon <3

3. [Redacted] AU

ah yes, this au, the 120 and counting pages one in my docs

and the 120 pages are mostly just details and planning for the au, not a single written thing yet

this au is not called redacted au, but the name itself is redacted because the word itself is a bit of a spoiler and im still trying to find a better name for it in general

i have no idea how to explain this au

first thing to mention is how its very much inspired by Take Back the Kingdom by @optimistic-violinist and @impossiblefangirl0632 (sorry for the tag, i can take it out if you'd like) and i really really recommend this fic, its so so good and it changed my brain chemistry on so many levels

so yes, i really got inspired by this fic, and it will very much be shown in this particular au with some things and tropes, but ofc im doing my own spin on stuff and the details, and from what i have rn, i think it really evolved and is still evolving as time goes on

another thing to note about this is how the idea came to be because of TBTK inspiration and a dream i had on the day i was taking a metaphysics midterms exam (this is completely unnecessary to mention but oh well, i still remember that moment so vividly)

the dream impacted just exactly how this au is going to go

what is the dream about? you'll find out whenever i get to write this au

all i can say without spoiling much is that there are lots of memory shenanigans and angst, plus the very fun trope of "your found family is your actual family"

also once more, read take back the kingdom, very good fic, 11/10, much recommend, will reread again

4. Ghost Cocoon AU

this au is the fusion of the Cocoon au and the Ghost Grandkids au, both still found in @/gamerbearmira's blog

ghost grandkids au is from @jerseyk112 and cocoon au is from @raefever, and ofc bear has a lot of ideas and thoughts for these aus in her blog

i was rereading bear's cocooned fic for the 17123723507 time and while i was at it, i remembered the ghost grandchildren au, so i decided it would be pretty fun to fuse the two aus together in some way

and so i did (first ask, second ask)

basic premise of this au is really just the ghost kids' healing and them protecting their younger selves and their family

this fusion au interested me so much that it got to the point where i actually wrote a 3683 word first chapter of sorts(?) for this fusion au already (bear has seen it but i havent posted it at all)

planning on continuing it when i feel like it tho hehe

so yes its been wild with this one

5. Giftless Grandkids AU

giftless grandkids au, my beloved

just as the name says, au where all the grandkids are giftless

all i can say is everything and nothing changes all at the same time with this

this au was sent and suggested by an anon in bear's blog

this is also the one where bear and i went wild on for the past few days

pretty sure bear is gonna be writing this au, if im not mistaken? so its very exciting

there's a lot in store for this au and it'll be fun

6. Undertale AU

undertale au yesyes

not the type where the characters are these characters tho

this idea is where we'll be throwing the grandkids into the underground for an adventure of a lifetime!

so basically characters of one media meet characters of the other media type

and the kids are gonna be going through the plot of undertale, technically in frisk's shoes here

this au is still very vibes and not much planned, there's lots of potential to play around tho, so im thinking of exploring this at some point soon

7. Gravity Falls AU

gravity falls au this time!!

now this au is the one pure vibes one, absolutely zero planning or thoughts, just vibes and aspirations for it

not even sure if it'll be like the undertale au where characters of one media will meet characters of the other media or if it'll be characters from this media are gonna be these characters of that media in this au

i just thought it would be fun to have an encanto gravity falls au idea, but still dont know where it'll be going in general

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

So that's about it, there's actually a few more ideas i havent mentioned yet, but let's just say these ideas are exactly like the gravity falls au vibing no planning, except much worse in a sense, so i have no idea what kind of footing there will be at all with those aus

but anyway, i digress, these are some of the ideas and aus i have and would love to share and write and uh, yeah

if you have any questions on these aus, feel free to ask if ever, my asks are open (this is the first time im saying this in a post omg help)

but anyway yes the brainrot and hyperfixation is real

if you got here to the end, congrats have a pic of my dog for your effort and dedication <333 see you around <3

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throwingmetothelions · 9 months

Text

Stress Relief

Nick Ruffilo x OC (Aaliyah)

Slow and soft Nicholas sex? You mean my favorite thing in the entire world?

Please understand that this is not for kids. This fic has been fighting me like fuck for 3 weeks. Take it away I don’t wanna see it again.

“So you’re taking it seriously this time? What’s he gonna say when he finds out that you’ve mastered Twinkle Twinkle Little Star in the 4 years you’ve owned this thing,” I jabbed as my brother threw a balled up napkin at my head.

“Fuck you. I also know how to play the intro to Brain Stew … Mom tell her!” Jackson yelled across the dinner table as I smirked into my plate of chicken and rice.

“Okay … okay. Aaliyah he’s serious this time. I mean he picked up that D he had in Chemistry and he’s been mowing the lawn and weeding for 3 months to prove that this is what he wants. We think he could actually get somewhere with this tutor,” our mom let out. “He’s home from touring in some band he plays in. Really doing us a favor by offering these lessons. He’s Denise’s kid if you remember her from church. Real quiet thing,” she slowly picked apart her spaghetti while we went back to eating in silence.

Color me shocked honestly. My younger brother Jackson raised hell with our parents for 6 months after he saw that ESP in the window of the music shop downtown. I swore he only wanted it because it was shiny and purple, and our parents were desperate for their 12 year old son to show interest in anything outside of video games and sleeping until 1 pm.

They bought it for him, and it sat. And it sat. And dust collected. And it sat.

I had just come back home after wrapping up the first semester of my final year of college. Coming back home wasn’t necessarily on my to-do list, but there was no denying that coming back to where the food is free and someone else does your laundry for a little bit can’t hurt.

I was brought out of my head by my father clearing his throat the way that old men do. “Aaliyah. We’re going to head over to the Anderson’s house tomorrow. Lexi’s got this book club wine tasting situation she’s started with your mom, and I told Tom that I’d take a look at the motor in that boat he just bought. He got the same one we did a few months back and I think I know why it’s sputtering,” my dad paused and looked at the ceiling, “but we need you to be home because it’s going to be an all afternoon affair, and someone has to let Nick in,” he stated.

Pointing my fork at Jackson without saying anything, I shot an eyebrow at my father.

“Ah. Jackass over there is serving detention on a Saturday for signing himself out of his last period class four times in a week. If I hadn’t already paid Nick for this lesson I’d tell him not to bother. He said something about just changing his strings and taking the pickguard off, or whatever the fuck. Just be here to let him come work. Should be like 2 hours,” he grumbled with anger and garlic on his breath.

“Hmm. No problem. Now if you’ll excuse me I’m going to shower and hang out upstairs. The weight of being the favorite child really takes a toll,” I laughed as I pretended to crack my back earning me another balled up napkin to the hip.

———————

There’s a place off Ocean Avenue where I used to sit and -

I hadn’t changed the alarm tone I had set on my old iPod Touch even though I’d graduated middle school almost a decade ago. It’s still the same.

Tired hands rubbed tired eyes as I rolled over and out of bed and steadied myself against my childhood dresser. Mind numbingly bright numbers read 2:30 pm. Fucking great. I checked my phone and saw that my mom had put something in the family group chat.

Birthgiver: Hey Peanut. Dad and I left a bit early. Sale at Costco on that brie I use when I make the mac n cheese for Sunday dinners. Nick will be there around 3. Money for food is in junk drawer. Jax will be home at 7. BETTER BE 🤬. We’ll be later. Let me know if you need something, but try not to need something 😉

She really had a way with words.

I found myself mentally exploding them all momentarily because I had approximately 25 minutes until Mr. Too Optimistic Guitar Man showed up. I threw my hair into a high ponytail while trying to ignore the product buildup I could so clearly feel. The shirt I ripped from the confines of my suitcase was a beat up Motionless In White tee that had seen many teenage tears, and the cherries of a few late night cigs judging by the burn holes. Black leggings finished off the look, and I jogged downstairs to figure out what I could shove in my face now so I wouldn’t disturb Nick later.

I walked across the hardwood past the living room until I hit the fridge. As my fingers touched the stainless steel handle … *ding dong*.

2:48.

He’s early.

My eyebrows creased as I padded over to let him in.

——-

Truthfully, I had remembered what he looked like - Denise’s son. A few vacation bible camps, and the handful of times he showed up to my school to watch his sister perform in the yearly plays.

That just couldn’t have been the same boy that stood before me as I opened the door. About 5’10, shaggy black hair that fell right above his shoulders, and tattoos covering his exposed forearms and hands. He wore a faded Foo Fighters tee underneath a red and brown flannel, and his black jeans had a few too many rips for him to have bought them like that.

“So … can I come in or …,” he chuckled nervously as he lifted his backpack and guitar case to imply that he’d like nothing more than to lay his heavy shit down.

“Y-yeah. Yes,” I cleared my throat as I stepped to the side. “You must be Nick,” I questioned as he placed his stuff on the couch and took off his flannel.

He faced away from me as he shook his head slightly. “It would be a damn shame if I wasn’t seeing as I’m standing in your living room,” he said with a quirked eyebrow.

I stood motionless with my lips parted.

He was right after all.

“That might have been a little rude. I’m sorry,” he shook the hair from in front of his eyes and held his hand out toward me, “I’m Nick,” he smiled.

“Aaliyah,” my head tilted to the side.

“So if you’re cool with it I’m gonna grab the guitar from Jack’s room and bring it out here. More space, and I don’t really want to work in a teenage boy’s cave. I was one once. Not too safe to just sit on surfaces and shit, ya know,” he stated pointedly while traveling up the stairs.

A well timed snort left my body and I shook my head while traveling back into the kitchen. I grabbed a bottle of water and I threw some cherries in a bowl before I plopped down in an armchair. I was going to eat my breakfast come hell or highwater … in this case, hell or the hot dude that was currently padding around the upstairs of my house.

Soon enough Nick could be heard jogging back down with the instrument in hand. He paused as he walked in front of me, and my eyes met his. His eyebrows were completely furrowed yet quirked, and his mouth was drawn into a tight line.

It was the face one makes when they know that the handle of a door is sticky, but they watch others open it anyway after instructed not to. A smidge of disappointment, an awkward silence, and the strong urge to laugh when only they know why.

“What,” I questioned through a mouthful of cherries.

“You been uh … blowing the Kool Aid man or something? You have cherry juice all down your shirt,” he said like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

I’m here to tell you it was not.

“I also shut your door on my way down,” he said under his breath as he got to work taking the strings out of the guitar and wrapping them up into rings around his fingers.

A ball of lead filled my stomach, and a burn took over my face. Blame it on my routine being fucked up, blame it on being home and getting too comfortable, or blame it on hormones - I instantly knew exactly what it was that made that man explicitly tell me that he shut my door. It was the light pink vibrator, my previously soaked panties, and the clear glass toy that I accidentally left on the floor next to the laundry hamper where I usually hid them. I always shut my door, but again. I’m playing the blame game.

Nicholas cleared his throat as he turned his head towards me. He went back and forth on his feet while staring at my reddened cheeks.

“I’m so sorry. It’s been tough coming back and moving all my shit and then -,” he cut me off by holding both hands up in the air.

“Hey. I’m just letting you know I shut it. It’s fine dude - you and I, we’re adults. Everyone needs a little stress reliever every blue moon. Or ya know, everyday, or whatever,” his eyes went back to the guitar on the couch as he cracked his knuckles for emphasis “and I don’t know what the fuck Jackson did to these pickups but I feel like I might need a stress reliever myself after this,” he chuckled as his eyes lingered on my face before he opened his bag again.

His words hit me directly in my core as I stared off in the direction of the kitchen. The thought of Nick laying back and working himself over bounced around in my head like the DVD logo on the corner of a forgotten television.

Did he tilt his head back and let his eyes flutter shut? Did his lips part when his fingers ran through the dark hairs he had on his lower stomach? Was he going to collect the precum at the tip and take his time dragging it up and down his shaft?

I instinctively squeezed my thighs together in an attempt to quell the pulsing that had started. Nicks words brought me back to the moment.

“Okay so … I changed out the three strings that needed it, I can’t do anything with these pickups because the owner of the shop said they won’t get the new ones in until tomorrow, and changing this pickguard will take 5 seconds flat. I’m not tuning that bitch because he needs the practice. Bad,” he sighed while he sank onto the couch. He paused for a second before looking up at me and patting the cushion next to him.

I stood up and walked over to him, pulling my legs underneath me as i got comfortable.

“I really like this. My band played with Motionless at a festival like two years ago. Funny dudes,” he said as he played with the hem of my shirt.

“You’re in a band? That’s fuckin’ sick,” I laughed although my eyes never left the hand that was still playing with the hem of my shirt.

“Yeah man. I love it, but it’s … stressful at times,” he whispered as his hand let my shirt go. He let his fingers fall down to my thigh, brushing it as they went back to the couch. “I can kinda tell you know what that feels like,” he said.

“Mhmm,” I nodded. “This degree is whopping my ass and sometimes I think like … is it worth it? I have very little social flings even though I’m away from home. I don’t meet people like people think I do. It’s all very stress inducing and even though you uhm … y-you saw what you saw I uh - … it’s still hard,” I let out in a few exasperated breaths.

I could feel Nick getting closer as he sunk down just a little further.

“Poor thing,” he clicked as his hands went to my hips to pull me onto his lap and straddle him. “I’m technically getting paid to use my skill set and my hands to fix things … but does it really have to stop with guitars,” he questioned as my forehead rested on his. “Like I said. Two adults. Two stressed out adults that need fixing,” his breath panned over my lips as I dove down to meet his.

I let out a small moan as our mouths connected. Who the fuck was he trying to convince? Nick’s hands began to roam away from my hips and travel up my waist as our tongues played. I could feel my folds grow slicker as I tried to grind down into him, but he stopped me.

He reached around and to the side of me with a grunt and threw a pillow and a throw from the back of the couch to the ground. He tapped my thigh to get me up and off of him before he stood up and grabbed my hand to lead me down onto the living room carpet.

Nick took his time stripping all of my clothes off. Years of sports and locker rooms took away any inhibitions I had about my body, but I still felt the weight of his eyes as they bore into me.

“We could … I mean there are beds here,” I pointed at the stairs.

“Lay back,” he told me with a gentle gesturing finger. “Let me do this,” he said as he hovered over me. “Here’s how this is going to go,” he kissed my nose, “I’m going to make myself feel better by making you feel better. I’m a tinkerer. I love figuring out what keeps things together,” he pecked my cheek, “and what takes them apart,” he quickly licked the shell of my ear before he sat up to strip himself of his shirt.

I had no words for him, but my head nodding against the pillow must have been enough. I could feel him suck my bottom lip into a searing kiss before he worked his way down.

“You got messier than I thought,” he laughed against my skin as he licked at the bright red cherry juice that ran a path between my tits.

“Oh,” I let out as I held his head into my chest. Goosebumps rose to the surface as my foot locked over his leg in an effort to pin him to me.

His eyes held moss and stone as his mouth found a nipple and he latched onto it. He brought his hand up to cup my breast as he sucked and lapped at the hardening bud, moaning softly as he felt the skin grow taught on his tongue.

“That’s -,” my back arched and my hips rolled as Nick pulled off of my chest.

He was all blown pupils, bright red juice pricked mouth, and panting breaths. If there was one thing he clearly wanted, it was all of what I had to give. The sight was enough to set fire down my thighs.

“Come here,” I all but growled as I yanked his frame back on top of me in a fierce kiss. This was never a battle for dominance, but I’ll be damned if I didn’t wage war with my lips.

Nick held my face in his hands and ran the tip of his tongue over my parted mouth before he spoke. “Slow it down, cowgirl. We’re taking our time”. He was completely straddling me at this point, and I couldn’t help but let my eyes wander over his body as his fingers left trails of static down my stomach. His heavily tattooed arms flexed as he pushed himself back up and moved lower. Nick’s head came to rest at my side as he bit and kissed at the crease where my thigh met my hip. “You know I can smell you right,” he whispered as he pushed my legs apart. “See, I was scrolling through a website the other day and I read something. Something about how women carry stress in their hips or some shit,” he said.

I could feel his fingers start to massage the muscles there, and a low groan of relief left my chest. “Nick please. I need you to - to touch”. My hips rolled into the carpet slowly as he settled over my core. If there was a god, he wasn’t merciful. There was an air of bittersweet misery surrounding the moment, and I needed him to clear it out.

Without another word Nicholas took his index and middle fingers and spread my folds open. The cool air of the room smacked into my warmth and I couldn’t help but jump.

“She’s sensitive,” he laughed as he puckered his lips and let a string of spit fall down onto my exposed clit. Nick leaned down and pressed a kiss to my folds before licking up the mess he’d made. The speed at which his hands flew up and caught my shaking thighs before they caged his head was unmatched by light and sound. He knew what he’d done. The moan that escaped his throat told me that he was getting lost, and he might not have minded.

I peered down at him over the hills of my breasts and found him down in a valley of soft curls and wet heat. His eyes had begun to roll as he licked into my cunt, and I could see that he was beginning to rut into the floor. Those adept fingers traced gentle patterns and lines on my thigh, and every so often a thumb would circle my clit. “Jesus fuck,” I groaned as I turned my head to the side.

Nick stopped to line his eyes up with mine before popping that same thumb into his mouth and sucking deeply. He caught his breath and wiped his mouth on the back of his hand before speaking. “Watching you sit in that chair and act like you didn’t want to rub this pussy made my dick twitch,” he stated as plainly as you would the weather. Like he was talking about the sunshine. Like he hadn’t made me clench around nothing just by nonchalantly speaking.

I stared down at him with a tight jaw and pints of restless need in my blood. The urge to wrench him up and flip us over was overwhelming, but I settled for running my hands through his hair as he sat up.

Nick leaned back and ran his fingers over his torso reveling in the feeling of his own callouses. His hand found his belt and he slowly pulled it off. The promise of taking it slowly filtered through my vision as I watched him reach down and put pressure on the growing bulge in his jeans. “Oh my god,” he muttered under his breath as his hips came up to meet his palms before he pulled the jeans off of his body completely. He crawled back over me and pressed his body into mine.

I held the back of his neck and brought our lips together once more. “I - I really want you,” I murmured against his neck as I kissed the skin there.

“You want … this? Use your words hun,” he grabs his dick by the base and runs it up the length of my dripping pussy before tapping the head against my clit.

“I want you to fuck me Nick,” I whimpered as I let my eyes shut and brought my legs up and around his waist.

He made a noise of approval as he thumbed the tip of his dick inside of me. His breath hitched as he held himself back from giving me everything he had to give. Nick brought a hand up and moved the stray hairs from my forehead. “Look at me,” he said as I opened my eyes, “you feel so good”.

My neck felt warm as Nick's panting mouth found a home there. His fingers moved to interlock with mine as he pinned my hands above my head. His full weight spread over me like a blanket in midwinter, and I could feel his hips start to tick. Nick set a slow and dirty pace as he fucked into me.

“Oh god,” I choked out as he began to grind into my clit. I could feel a swell of warmth begin to form low in my belly as Nick moved.

“Feels nice?” he questioned as he groaned into my collar. “I don’t know how long I’m gonna last Aaliyah,” he warned as his dick kicked within my walls.

I used my heels to press against his lower back, delivering a silent plea for a faster pace.

He gave it to me. Nick fucked up into me harder as his fingers began to flex and squeeze mine.

“Keep going. Oh shit you’re gonna -,” I was cut off as Nick broke his hands free from my grasp and held my hips down.

“Do it. Cum on my cock sweetheart, that’s it,” he encouraged as I pulled my knees up as high as my body could bring them. I came with a wail as his speed never faltered. Nick bit into the air as I clenched down around him.

“Nick,” I gulped as my lungs expanded to take in much needed air, “I want you to fucking cum”.

My words were his downfall. One hand pushed beaten knuckles into soft carpet as the other held on to my hip as if he would fall to pieces if he was not grounded. “Fuck,” he drew out as he pounded his cum deep into my core.

Nick came to a slow grinding halt.

“You’re … you’re pretty good at stress relieving dude,” I smiled as I unwound myself from him.

“Ditto,” he muttered as he held up a thumb at me. Nick pulled out and rolled over before throwing his forearm over his eyes. “Now,” he breathed out, “that stupid fucking pickguard”.

“I would say don’t worry about it and I’ll cover for you … but I almost wish you’d build that stress back up,” I said as I kissed his temple.

He smiled softly and blew me a kiss back before going on to do exactly that.

#bad omens fic #bad omens fanfiction #bad omens fanfic #Nick ruffilo fic #auntievwroteit

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gasolinerainbowreads · 8 months

Text

I am trying to get better about organizing all the fic I read! (My drafts still sit at a hefty number lol.)

↓ ICON LEGEND ↓

🌈 = title 🪆 = series, multiple parts, etc. 🔋 = make sure your vibrator is charged before reading 😈 = Horny Demon Hours™ approved 🥹 = hurts so good/ouch, my feelings 🧠 = did somethin to my brain/altered my brain chemistry

Here's what I read in August along with a comment and/or a favorite excerpt:

@cavillscurls

🌈Pretty Prey 🔋😈-- Joel Miller x afab!reader "Tears spring to your waterline as he bruises into your cervix, the grunts and murmurs of that’s it, take it baby, can see the outline of my cock against your tummy all indication of his enjoyment."

@ezrasbirdie

🌈Catalyst 🪆🔋😈-- no outbreak!joel miller x f!reader x frankie morales “Tastes damn good, doesn’t it?” Joel says, and Frankie lets out a quiet, desperate whine. “Good boy.” 🌈Some Part of Me Came Alive 🪆🔋😈🧠 -- no outbreak!joel miller x f!reader x frankie morales Joel runs his fingers through Frankie’s hair when he pulls of off of him, cupping his cheeks and brushing his thumbs over his jaw. It's like that first kiss all over again--there's such profound relief Joel has to fight back tears. It doesn't matter that he's new to this--it's all so right because it's Frankie. 🌈Breakfast 🪆🥹 -- no outbreak!joel miller x f!reader x frankie morales plzzzzz this is so fucking perfect and sweet and good and i wanna devour it

@netherfeildren

🌈Forfeiting My Mystique 🥹🧠 -- Ezra x F!Reader “It’s why I love art,” he continues. “You can be close to something, feel its warmth, beauty – whatever feeling it is the artist intended to pull out of you, from a distance. Untouched – it’s untouchable. That comforts me for some reason.” 🌈The Cassandra Complex, Ch 1 🪆🔋😈 -- Din Djarin x F!Reader “Just one more, little one. Want to see it up close,” he murmurs. 🌈The Cassandra Complex, Ch 2 🪆 -- Din Djarin x F!Reader You are a burning effigy washed in the violet light of righteous fury as you stalk slowly towards his, soon to be dead, bounty. 🌈Greener Memories of Better Men 🔋🥹-- Joel Miller x F!Reader This whole entire thing is heart-wrenching and amazing.

@swiftispunk

🌈Your Summer Dream, Day 4 - Sand 🪆🔋🥹-- JOEL MILLER X F!READER “Just ask nice, baby, I’ll give you whatever you need.” THIS MAN IS A MENACE. 🌈Your Summer Dream, Day 5 - New 🪆🔋🥹-- JOEL MILLER X F!READER "Suck," you instruct him, stronger now, more desperate as he draws pleasure from you with what's clearly practiced care. "Good girl," he hums lowly, like he's genuinely proud of your confidence, like he really does want this for you. WHEN'S IT GONNA BE MY TURN?! HUHHH???????

@strang3lov3

🌈Hibachi 🪆🔋😈-- bil!joel miller x fem reader (pre/no outbreak) This whole entire thing is *CHEF'S KISS* 🌈Are We Going To Talk About It? 🪆🥹-- bil!joel miller x fem reader (pre/no outbreak) This time, you will be loved like you deserve. & You are safe here with me. 🌈Come To Jesus Moment 🪆🧠 -- bil!joel miller x fem reader (pre/no outbreak) Every time she says sorry to Jesus I howl.

@thetriumphantpanda

🌈Come Away with Me, Monday 🪆🔋😈🥹 -- Joel Miller x F!Reader x Tommy Miller OH MY GOD i am obsessed with this whole dynamic. 🌈In The Woods Somewhere, Ch 1 🪆-- Joel Miller x F!Reader plzzzzzzzz she never missesssssssss jfc

@frannyzooey

🌈Short Days, Long Nights 12 🪆🥹🧠 -- Joel Miller x f!reader this shit just fucking CHANGES MY BRAIN CHEMISTRY every fucking time I read it

@joelscruff

🌈Needy Baby 🪆🔋😈😈😈😈😈😈🥹🧠🧠🧠🧠 -- boyfriend's dad!joel x f!reader bro. MY GUY. MY SISTREN. this is ... this is the hottest smust ive ever read. idc. this whole story is amazing, and then THIS??? i can't even fucking think straight

@ezrasbirdie

🌈Surrender, Ch 10 🪆🔋🥹🧠 -- joel miller x ofc daisy She flushed read from her neck to her ears. "I don't know, exactly. I just don't want to embarrass you." Daisy had a habit of casually saying things that shattered his heart. Why did she think he'd be embarrassed? PLZZZZZZ. This fucking series KILLS ME. Daisy is my homegirl, and i will fight anybody who disagrees that she is SUPREME. 🌈Surrender, Ch 11 🪆🥹🧠 -- joel miller x ofc daisy All the fears she’d worked so hard to push away returned, magnified by the memory of Joel’s lips all over her skin. He’d held her and made love to her and kissed her all over and then he left her here alone. He said he needed her, too, and then he left her here. Alone. *screams like an injured pterodactyl*

@bageldaddy

🌈I Know It When I See It, Part 3 🪆🔋😈🥹 -- pornstar!joel miller x fem!reader But growing up a girl meant getting used to the idea that sometimes sex was painful. You’re so used to men moving with violence, with contempt. In real life, so much of fucking felt like hate, it’s not exactly a surprise to find that sometimes the same thing is true in porn. 🌈I Know It When I See It, Part 4 🪆🔋😈🥹 -- pornstar!joel miller x fem!reader the smut in this part is so hot you are guaranteed to feel your heartbeat in your pussy lmao

@chloeangelic

🌈Yes, Father IV 🪆🔋-- Priest!Joel Miller x Priest!Javier Peña x housewife!reader the way he takes her to their bedroom instead of the guest bedroom made me wanna punch a wall what a menace lmao love it 🌈Belong To Me, Chosen 🪆🔋😈🥹 -- Line cook Joel x waitress reader the breeding kink .... DO NOT READ WHILE OVULATION im being so for real when i say that

@softlyspector

🌈Decaf 🪆🥹🧠 -- tattoo artist!Joel Miller x f!Reader this whole entire series is so delicate and intricate. i am obvs a huge slut and love smut, but this story doesn't even need it. it's so, so good.

@breakfastatjoels

🌈A Bird in Your Teeth, Epilogue 🪆🥹-- joel miller x f!reader this was the perfect ending to an AMAZING story. plz read this if you haven't already!!!!

@walkintotheriveranddisappear

🌈And His Car Is a Piece of Shit 🪆🥹-- joel miller x fem reader the angst in this one is CHEF'S KISS 🌈Total Satisfaction, from the Comfort of Your Own Home 🪆🔋-- joel miller x afab reader a man that will dick you down with a possessive edge and then do handyman jobs around the house?? sign me the fuck up

@darkroastjoel

🌈A Safe Haven, Ch 8 🪆🥹 -- Joel Miller x Female Reader; Ellie Williams x Platonic Female Reader this is like my all-time fave comfort fic 100%. it's ongoing, but i have read each existing part several times lol

@tieronecrush

🌈Only Angel, Ch 1 🪆-- javier peña x f!reader the whole concept is so good, and i love all the detail! also, the part where she emailed him about a mistake in the syllabus had me fucking rolling. NERD.

@psychedelic-ink

🌈You Hate It That You Love Me 🪆🥹 -- stripper!jack daniels x f!reader this whole series was so angsty and delicious. definitely one you will re-read over and over. 🌈Menuet 🔋😈😈😈🧠🧠🧠🧠🧠🧠🧠🧠🧠🧠 -- animal shapeshifter!pero tovar x f!reader im so fuckin mad at this story. this shit unlocked a new kink for me and fucked with my brain in the process.

@iamskyereads

🌈Compulsion Pt 5 - Initiation 🪆🔋😈🧠 -- EZRA (PROSPECT) X OFC BEATRICE I. AM. OBSESSSED. This fucking fic... I cannot BELIEVE I get to just come on this website and read shit of this caliber FOR FREE?!?!!?! insane

@party-hearses

🌈Relax, Baby 🪆🔋-- joel miller x f!reader if Joel called me princesa id be fucking DONE gone no thoughts 🌈Don't Be a Brat, Baby 🪆🔋-- joel miller x f!reader second part to the above story. such a fun read, and the dialogue is EVERYTHING so cute, sexy at times, playful. just so damn fun to read this!!!

@pascalsbby

🌈The Devil and His Brother, Pt 1 🪆🥹🧠 -- Joel x Tommy x Reader again. we get to read this shit. FOR FREE. my fucking mind cannot wrap itself around that fact. so many fucking talented writers in this fandom. thank you thank you thank you for sharing your brilliant, fun works! this story is a wonderful example of "ordinary people" knocking it out of the fucking PARK with their talent.

@cool-iguana

🌈Acting Out 🔋 😈😈😈-- Din x f! reader “Are you now? You forgot to count, though, cyar’ika. Good girls count. Let’s try again from one, no crying.” His tone dripped with condescension as he began again, practically reveling in each gasp and broken sob that spilled from your lips, taking pleasure in each time you stuttered on a number. this is so horny i love it

@mandoisapunk

🌈Ride, Cowgirl 🔋-- Joel Miller x reader i love the dynamics in their relationship and the comfort of switching it up!

@gracieispunk

🌈Bowling Night 🪆🔋-- Maintenance man!joel x f!reader listen, i am ride or die for reader. she's never done anything wrong in her entire life, and i stand by that lmao.

@toomanystoriessolittletime

🌈Revenge 🔋😈-- Dave York x fem. Reader CUCKING!!!! HELL YEAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

#monthly wrap up

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bipirate · 4 months

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favourite things: 2023 edition

last year i made one of these and i thought it'd be fun to make another one. i have a notion spreadsheet with all the media i watch/read/play throughout the year (not just things that came out this year!) and i give them ratings. these are the highs (and some of the lows) of 2023 (not in order).

Games

Tunic - such a great and beautiful game that i do not want to spoil. seriously, play it. if you like zelda, exploration, solving puzzles, and cute little foxes, then it's a must

Legend of Zelda: Tears of the Kingdom - what can i say, i love a zelda

Portal 2 - just an even more excellent sequel to an excellent game

Alice in Borderland - i didn't know what to expect at first but it was excellent and highly addictive

Not Me - my introduction to thai BL (for better and also definitely for worse lol). anyway this show changed my brain chemistry. it has everything: gays, a twin switch situation, leftism, arson, rooftop kiss... you know

Bad Buddy - speaking of rooftop kisses...... if you know you know. anyway this is also a thai BL and it's still rotating in my brain. i rewatched it almost immediately, that's how good it was

The King's Affection - cheesy historical kdrama about a crown prince who is secretly a woman, with a swoon-worthy romance and political intrigue. this one's for the bisexuals (after all, the male love interest falls in love with the prince before he finds out it's a woman)

Vinland Saga - this anime fucking wrecked me. season 2 had me crying every single episode. thorfinn is my new child and i WILL name my future cat after him

The Devil Judge - a kdrama about a dystopian south korea with a fucked up justice system. anyway kang yohan character of all time. oh and also toxic homosexuality (affectionate)

Books

The Poppy War trilogy by R. F. Kuang - what an excellent series to get me back into fantasy series. it was not without faults, but i was hooked anyway

Babel by R. F. Kuang - i read this brick in 5 days straight. it's beautifully written and has such interesting things to say about language and colonialism. again, it has flaws but i wasn't bothered, i was obsessed with this book

The Priory of the Orange Tree by Samantha Shannon - i didn't realise how much i missed high fantasy until i read this. it has lesbians, dragons, a bitter old homosexual, magic, and did i mention dragons and lesbians?

He Who Drowned the World by Shelley Parker Chan - the sequel to She Who Became the Sun, my favourite book of last year. this sequel fucking DELIVERED. i went insane about it multiple times. it's a must read

Graphic novels/manga

Witch Hat Atelier by Kamome Shirahama - i started this manga 2 years ago, but since it's still ongoing and I've read new chapters this year, it counts for this year as well

JoJo's Bizarre Adventure: Steel Ball Run by Hirohiko Araki - not finished with it yet but it is truly as good as everyone says it is

The Adventure Zone: The Eleventh Hour by the McElroys and Carey Pietsch - i know not everyone likes the taz comics, but i do, i think theyre great adaptations, and this one looked incredible

Movies

Spiderman: Across the Spiderverse - not as good as the first one, but still really good. beautifully animated and extremely entertaining

Bonus: the lowest of the low, titles that earned my 'sucked shit' rating

Theory of Love - amazing that out of the 3 thai BLs ive watched, 2 managed to make it on my favourites list, and one of them was some of the worst television i've ever seen

Where the Crawdads Sing - read the book for book club last year, we all hated it, and now we decided to watch the movie for a laugh. it also sucked

#special shoutout to boys planet (the kpop variety show) which i rated both 'bad' and 'good' at the same time.#i didnt actually watch many movies this year oops #if only interview w the vampire was available to watch in my country otherwise i'd have watched it already #and itd probably be on the list. next year i'll try to watch it somehow

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socially-awkward-skeleton · 9 months

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Tagged by @inafieldofdaisies to takes these two uquizzes for my ocs

What is your ocs true role in the story?

The "Oh" quiz

Tagging: @adelaidedrubman @strangefable @direwombat @voidika @statichvm @florbelles @cassietrn @shallow-gravy @josephseedismyfather @josephslittledeputy @marivenah @clicheantagonist @voidika @aceghosts @nightbloodbix @roofgeese @chazz-anova @wrathfulrook @jillvalentinesday @madparadoxum @stacispratt @henbased @unholymilf

the "chosen one"

back again young one? still not comfortable with your new title? yes, I can see you are one that prefers the simpler things in life but you do deserve the rank they have given you. oh little sparrow, have you just now realized you are an owl? soaring the skies with gleaming, outstretched talons. you lived your life blinded to your own abilities, but now the truth is out. you did not ask to be a hero, which pains my heart to the core. but alas, the people have given you something so true and bittersweet you cannot bear to refuse them. for they have given you their trust. they praise you, songs will be sung of you, ballads written, feasts in your honor. but "why me?" you quietly whisper to the stars. if you could speak their language you'd hear their simple reply, "because." you, out of the finest candidates were chosen to be a sacrificial lion in golden chains. your loved ones chanted your worth as it echoed from the steeples. but what was your say on the matter? I guess you had little to none, and unfortunately, neither do I. but destiny is not a burden, it is a gift, you feel weighted by the entire world, your shoulders ache from the hopes, fears, and dreams of the people who have chosen to follow you. but their adoration isn't blind my dear. you are strong, you are worthy of the armor, of the crown. when you look back you will realize that you, my young god, were truly the savior many called you. do not run from your purpose, seek it. and I do not mean the heroic of sorts, no, search for what makes you alive young hero, for here's a secret, you are just as much a hero to others as you are to yourself. if wouldn't make you a villian, to tell them no...

*honestly could not ask for a better result for her, that's absolutely the role she plays in her timeline and while the groups that see her as the hero change, that is very much the title she is given. Also the "sacrificial lion in golden chains"??? UQUIZ STOP!!

the first meeting

life is normal. it's scripted. it's functional. then one day, you meet them, and... Oh. you fix your posture, you're a little nervous, and it's totally possible you're just projecting -- but this could be something. and the only thing that makes this different from the hundreds of other times you had that exact same thought only to be disappointed is... this is the time that counts. things change. you were looking for someone whose very existence re-contextualized yours. which is not to say that you were incomplete, but... aren't we all? isn't that the essence of being a being who changes? and what completes us if not the love of something or someone beyond us? sure it's still new, and anything could happen from here, but there's something in your shared brain chemistry that makes it feel like good things are in motion. how exciting!

*another fantastic result. That whole first bit is very much how things start for Kit and Jacob, she's going through the motions of fighting the cult when she hears his voice and the things he says and she can already tell there's something different about being around him. That slideshow was the moment sparks went off tbh (even the fixing the posture is spot on with her putting on that rigid soldier posture for him). As for re-contextualizing her existence, and her feeling incomplete before him, oh yeah, that's their whole thing. Finding someone that completes her, someone who makes her more of herself instead of being scared of it. And the shared brain chemistry...too spot on really

#tagged #oc: kit cross

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astronomodome · 1 year

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Alright I was asked to make a list of all the The Garages songs I associate with life series things so I have done that

A few notes:

Songs are in no particular order (mostly just sorted by album as I was going through listening to them all)

All song titles (in color) are links to the respective songs, so you can listen to them :3

These songs are all worth listening to but my absolute favorites are marked in orange

Let me know what you think! I’ve been waiting so long to talk extensively about this :)))))) <- going to explode

list is below the cut because this got loooong

Astro Astronomodome’s Garages Life Series Playlist:

Eyes in the Dark- *gestures vaguely* how am I gonna live with these eyes in the dark when they’re following me around and they’re following you around 👍 and there’s nowhere you can go that they’re not there 👍

Jaylen Hotdogfingers Settles The Score- limited life winner martyn in thy little wood I am so normal about you <- lie

Godspeed- TIES sending off Skizz… see you space cowboy

Curse of Crows- third life grian-core, you know, when he was green and couldn’t actually kill but he and scar were going around being vaguely threatening. You could maybe use the crows in this as a metaphor for red life scar. Also birds

Relief Pitcher (Leave It On The Field)- Extremely strong vibes but I’m not sure of what. Maybe last life martyn? In the final battle? Idk. Maybe every martyn. I ljke him. (anyway this song changed my brain chemistry permanently so it deserves a place in the list regardless)

rooting for you- I’m delusional, bdubs is a species of plant, and ethubs is wlw. what is a nature wives

we had a season- ok this is THE desert duo song. No song will ever end of double life we’ve-spent-so-much-time-dancing-around-each-other-and-now-we-have-nothing-left-but-each-other desert duo as hard as this song. I have a very detailed AMV in my head of this so you know I’m right. It’s even a duet… ‘we had a season, we had a year/between when I died and when I reappeared’ (there’s almost exactly a year between grian’s last third life episode and scar’s first double life episode. I checked for this reason specifically and it killed me instantly) PLEASE just listen to this one ‘I had my reasons, I had my fears/I had my pride (I still had tears in my eyes as I died)’

dead ringer- just as the previous song is The desert duo song, this is The red king ren song. It slaps and the vibes are perfect. ‘my skin is made of energy, my blood is made of fire/I am what will happen when your best-made plans backfire’

hexed- very much post-3rd life watcher grian. pretty self-explanatory

The Alternate- ‘I’m new but I’ve seen so much/I’m old but I was not there’ do I even need to say it. Gem-as-Cleo and Lizzie-as-Pearl (‘I’ve done this once before’)

gamer grindset- yeah this is The Life Series Joel Song. you can fight me on this but you don’t have to because I know I’m right

a leap of faith- reminds me of scar. nothing in particular it just has similar vibes

haunted- ok now this is a Real watcher grian kind of song. ‘my body is a temple/for the gods of other men/wielded as a weapon by foes I swore I’d never be again’ ok. edgy bird moment

she’s dead and i’m someone else- this one requires some interpretation but I’ve always seen it was team BEST mourning the loss of bdubs. However it could also be applied to almost every ten in the life series that lost a member early lol

Mike Townsend (feels the shadows call)- specifically last life shadow alliance martyn but any martyn in general fits. he’s having a bad time

INCINERATE- just like. Being on your red life in general and the bloodlust and manic energy that brings. 😛 (edit after the finale: OKAY I KNOW THERES SO MANY LIMITED LIFE MARTYN SONGS BUT THIS IS ALSO ONE OF THEM ‘I know how to win this/I don’t need to play your games/I’m just gonna dance now/I’ll show you how to deal with pain’ ‘every day’s getting worse and we’re starting to choke/‘cause the water in the air is getting stuck in our throats’ LIKE COME ON MAN)

Sidelined- limited life skizz you will always be famous ‘am I just another wash-out/am I damned to go out swinging/I can’t hear you from the dugout/is there anyone else singing for me’ I am singing! I am singing for you skizzleman!!!!!!!!!

Firewalker With Me- the song. The myth. The legend. It’s just such a great song and it’s about life series grian’s curse of killing the people he cares most about. Grian is a parker if you think about it <- mentally ill (special note- ‘nobody deserves to be called a curse/but if you’re gonna resist I’m happy to make things worse’ is grian accidentally getting jimmy final-killed first in limited life btw)

We’ve Got History- not to be that guy but desert duo. Ok

New Year, Same Me- martyn.

The Return- the start of a new life series! Seeing old friends again! Missing friends who couldn’t make it (cough cough martyn missing ren in limited life cough cough)! Playing the game! Living and loving despite the horrors!

A Horrible Mistake We Will Make Again And Again- grian grian grian. Grain. The bird boy. Also easily one of my favorite Garages song titles. ‘If I don’t know the limits, how am I gonna break them?/If you think that we’re kidding well then you’re sorely mistaken’

The First Ain’t The Last- canary curse activated! Honestly the entirety of this album is just the average life series lmao ‘and one day you’ll wake up/and from the ashes a phoenix will rise/and she’ll hit like a champ/and burn out bright before your eyes’

The Ballad of Unremarkable Derrick Krueger- another one that definitely has life series vibes (and is just a really good song) but that I just can’t place. I want to say Tango honestly because he always has been somewhat painfully mediocre and has famously always final-deathed in underwhelming and meaningless ways

Rise- this is the Cleo song. Epic. Thank you Cleo :) Joe can be the monitor in this scenario I think he’d be good at it

RIV- does anyone still remember that part of martyn’s last life lore where the mysterious voice was promising that he would get to see jimmy mumbo and impulse again if he followed its instructions? Well……

Hell’s Game- Blaseball is a death game and this song leans into that so naturally it fits pretty well with the life series as a whole. Would make a great AMV

5am Shift- Ok bear with me here. This doesn’t really fit Pearl other than the song title (lol) and maybe you can make some parallels to cleaning lady Pearl but it gives me her vibes. Plus it’s just a whole jazzy banger and one of my favorite songs so it’s going here anyway :)

Nullified- for the end of limited life. pretty self-explanatory ‘wasted all my minutes/trying to stay alive/and look where it got me/I’m just the last one nullified’ honestly worked better before the actual finale because martyn was more manic about it than this song would imply

STRIKEOUT!- life series mumbo my horrible wet cat. this song is a little weird but it suits him I think

The Tug- they never left the desert.

SUN 2- obligatory flower husbands song for all the flower husbands enjoyers out there. Time to go cry I guess

flooding/drowning- big impdubs moment. Or honestly just any of bdubs’s life series exes reminiscing… ‘and you’re angry when the energy rises to meet you/like the life rafts are disrespectful to the sea’ is the most life series bdubs thing I’ve ever heard

REMEMBERTHEM- very good and classic anti-watcher song. If c!martyn was just a little more aware of his situation I think this would fit better (honestly a lot of good garages songs just don’t fit very well because we haven’t quite reached the ‘let’s kill the watchers’ stage of the lore yet lmaooo)

Nothing Happens Every Day- tfw when no life series 🥺 could also be martyn because he loves to kill <3

historic season nine party time speedrun and associated records- mean gills vibes. a nice quiet evening in the coral isles, reminiscing

Mike Townsend Is A Disappointment- I’m so sorry Jimmy but it fits too well

Bonus! Hermitcraft-adjacent songs:

Storm’s Raging- moon big. the long, slow, inevitable end of the world. Bdubs looking up at the sky as it falls on him. the lyrics kick ass as well: ‘there were days when it all seemed never ending/when all you could hear was the forecasts, the fear/and the sound of the cloudline bending’ (and the way it speeds up at the end……. omg)

howling at twin moons- s8 scar. I will not elaborate

alaynabella hollywood- ariana griande <- wait who said that

golden- rentheking arc I love you :3 viva la revolution

Sincerely, The Collateral- hermitcitizen song tbh

Beep or Bleat- despite the EXTREMELY zedaph-coded song title this is actually end-of-season 8 tango moon landing-core. ‘do we possess a soul/does it exceed the speed of light/can it escape black holes/do we still have a chance to fight’

Nut Economy- another rentheking arc song. You can tell when I started watching HC from this can’t you. Well. Royal emeralds I miss you :(

Morning is Coming- HONESTLY if I had the ability to make AMVs this would be top of my list. It’s just so… so much. Escaping moon big at the end of season 8… I know it’s overdone at this point but it’s rotating around in my head all the time. What does it say about me that there are two moon big songs here and they’re both my favorites…

fourteen days is not enough for my screams to reach your ears- another tango lost in space at the end of season 8 song. it messed me up ok

psychoacoustics- I love convex* *DISCLAIMER: 99% of the convex knowledge I have comes from fan interpretation alone. Alternatively I could just be really trying to manifest a zedaph villain arc

oliver mueller (is a hero)- docm77 for several reasons which will become apparent almost immediately

hello world- grumbot I love you :] (putting in a different version so you can tell what the lyrics are without subtitles and I’m sorry because this version of the song is somewhat worse. they just start singing godspeed in the middle of it for some reason and like I’m not complaining I love that song but also why) (here’s the original version)

the entire kansas city breath mints team failed the bar exam- hermitcraft. no elaboration is necessary

#trafficblr #limited life spoilers #life series spoilers #sillyposting #astro's garages brainrot #life series

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looking-for-wisdom · 7 months

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List of things that are making me absolutely crazy from the newest Fionna and Cake eps:

Simon’s choice to show Marcy kindness — for even the short amount of time he had — changed the trajectory of her life forever. She’s brave and compassionate because of him

Simon outright saying he raised Marcy as his own. it’s always been implied he’s a father figure, but never explicitly put in those terms as far as I can recall.

“My little Marcy”

Martin’s “i love this little guy” and affection for fionna. ok yeah mertens family emotions again awesome

Marcy fucking killed Martin?????? Bro????

Simon can’t save Marcy in that world. Like it makes sense, she doesn’t know him, but I was half expecting him to be able to get through to her. What did that do to Simon’s brain chemistry like fr

World of the Lich’s wish…

The Ice King tapes… Fionna finally understands what the crown does… the frame where ice king becomes a SKELETON HELLO???

Did they forget baby Finn in vampire world??? Where did we last see him?

BMO all on their own… the brb note from finn…

THEY FUCKINB EXPLODED BMO

the Betty and Simon lore… Fionna asks if Simon got on the bus with her… you know that’s gonna come back up later too

Betty always seems to be the one who makes the big leaps,,, i don’t know what it’s going to look like, but I think it’s Simon’s turn

JERRY IS THE LICH

the lich has depression,, do any of these bitches NOT need therapy

Fionna having the crown and not wanting to use it is SUCH a good bit of character development

Simon’s memory of Betty finally triggering something,, she’s coming,,, Simon’s about to get it

#Fionna and cake

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imminent-danger-came · 10 months

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Hi there! Anon sent reeling by S1E6 again! And I would just like to say that your response to my ask made me So Normal. Especially you bringing up S2E6, which is why I’m currently setting up a lawn chair here on the brink of insanity, because apparently I’m not going anywhere anytime soon.

Because yes, you’re completely right about S2E6 demonstrating this cycle of pushing others away while pushing themselves towards greatness and accidentally leaving pain in their wake that MK and SWK have managed to stick themselves in, but ALSO now I can’t stop thinking about how we get Shadow Play IMMEDIATELY afterwards.

Like… how much do you think Macaque had seen? Obviously he could see MK getting too caught up in his own head (*cough* and trauma *cough*) and shutting out his friends, but… how much had he seen seen, you know?

And now I also can’t stop thinking about how immediately after Shadow Play, we get To Catch a Leaf. Which is obviously an incredible episode in its own right, but it’s also the first episode since Minor Scale where MK is surrounded by his friends and he lets them help him. Because in S2E6, Mei and Sandy are with him, but he’s not really with them. He’s focused on getting stronger, to the point where he ignores them telling him exactly how to do so. And in the beginning of Shadow Play, we learn that he’s been further isolating himself off screen and blowing off activities with them so that he could focus on ‘[being] ready’.

But then To Catch a Leaf happens. And it starts off with MK surrounded by the others, having recently done something fun (curses aside) with Mei, and it’s not a big deal. He’s not stressing about getting stronger or being ready, he’s just… there with them. Present and in the moment, at least as much as he can be, and it’s fine. He’s fine, and more importantly he seems to be letting them in and being a bit more open with them.

And this carries on into 72 Transformations! Because obviously he still hasn’t told them The Thing, but he does go from ignoring/avoiding them while trying to get more powerful to calling them all up so that he can involve them. Figure at least some things out, together. And it drives me insane because he was getting better! He may very well have worked his way up to telling the others about LBD! But then she came a-knocking with more trauma, and it blasts him two steps back and it’s just… AHHH! He was SO CLOSE!!!

Also, side note: Do you think MK believes he has a body count? And I don’t even mean the nebulous potential casualties from all the recent disasters that MK blames himself for, I’m talking about Spider Queen specifically. Because MK isn’t an idiot. If he didn’t know she was dead (or whatever getting sucked into the furnace counts as) immediately after the sewers, he would have put two and two together after Destiny Fulfilled. And considering this is the guy who blames himself for DBK getting out despite knowing that SWK was right next to him in bird form the entire time, I don’t think it’s a stretch to say that he probably thinks it’s his fault. So… do you think it’s possible he sees himself as a murderer? Or, like, murderer adjacent? And if he does, how much more layered and messed up do you think that’d make the potential ‘Wukong reveals he killed Macaque’ moment?

Sorry for the long ask, the monkey show has changed me for better and worse. I will never be the same. *reclines on my lawn chair, gazing out over the precipice of madness with a thousand yard stare*

One: never apologize for a long ask, especially when it has so much good stuff in it! Two: I KNOW RIGHT. The monkey show really does change you for the better or for the worst. I'm still reeling from s4 and it's been 4 months, and then the s4 special came in and permanently altered my brain chemistry once again. I have a house next to this abyss.

ANYWAYS.

The back and forth of MK's character is one of my favorite things about lmk (of which I have many)! He takes 2 steps forward and then 4 steps back, and I think that's a testament to what getting better can look like—it's not linear. Sometimes, it's not even moving forward, and that's hard.

I think a great example of this "2 steps forward and then 4 steps back" phenomenon is MK's growth in Revenge of the Spider Queen:

MK starts believing in himself, smiling at that face in the mirror. It's not a strong belief, not yet, but it's a start. You can even see him making this attempt to improve in 2x01:

(this got a little long so everything else under the cut!)

MK: "Ah! Ugh, come on MK you can do this! Self-confidence! That's Monkey King 101!"

"Wait! I am worthy! Definitely worthy!" I'm Monkie Kid! Basically the new Monkey King—might have heard of me? You know, the next chapter? I'm totally worthy!"

(2x01 Sleep Bug)

MK's even trying to mimic Monkey King here, the person he thinks he should be:

But then, as you've mentioned, LBD and 2x05 comes along.

And it's funny, because now we know MK did become more like Monkey King, just like he wanted, but it's in all the wrong ways.

((Kind of a side note: We also know that Monkey King couldn't have "picked the wrong successor", because there honestly wasn't another option for a successor to begin with. MK grappling with like, 3 levels of Wukong lies is what makes s2 so delicious to watch))

And then we have 2x06, and THEN 2x07, and I'm sure that's exactly why Macaque stepped in! He saw MK going down the same path Wukong did. The drive to become stronger, pushing his friends away—Macaque in Shadow Play knows exactly what he's talking about:

Macaque: "Well, with ol' Monkey King not around I thought someone should teach you a lesson! Ah MK, you really are dense, aren’t you. Haha, you saw a story about a hero who got handed everything, who didn’t have to work for anything, and you thought you were the other guy? The second the hero got real power, he couldn’t care less about his friends. That’s you bud." (2x07 Shadow Play)

("Everything I did was for us!" "You did it for yourself!" *head in my hands .png*)

Wukong leaves. That's what he does, and that's what he did to MK in both Revenge of the Spider Queen (leaving MK to fight Spider Queen and her mech alone) and 2x01.

And honestly, MK in s2 is simply doing his best to pick up the pieces, to be Monkie Kid alone, without SWK or even his friends. But it doesn't really work—hiding LBD's return from his friends didn't save them in 2x10, and it didn't stop the Lady Bone Demon, just like Wukong hiding LBD's return from MK didn't protect MK from any of it.

This pattern, of walking in Wukong's footsteps and making the same mistakes, keeps repeating itself.

MK's 2x08 parallel to Wukong in 3x10 is another good example of that.

MK's terrifying of hurting the people he cares about, so he leaves. He runs off, and this only hurts his friends further. ("Can't you see you're hurting the people who care about you the most?" and "I can’t risk hurting the people I care about—the one’s I have left.".)

And so, tying this all back to the s4 special, we're starting to see MK take 2 steps forward again:

MK: "You ever wish things will just stay like this, like they are right now?" Sun Wukong: "Pssshhkk, where's the fun in that?" Tang: "Uh um, Monkey King, we need to have a serious conversation about your idea of fun."

Mei: "At least we fixed something for a change, instead of destroying it!" MK: "Yeah! So long as we leave the world in better shape than we found it, then it's all good right?"

(4x14 Better Than We Found It)

And I'm waiting for the eventual 4 steps back.

Because well..."At least we fixed something for a change, instead of destroying it"...it's not that they didn't fix anything, but plenty was broken:

Flower fruit mountain was destroyed. Azure died. Whoever orchestrated all of this is still out there.

So, MK's current answer to "doing what you think is right" leading "to pain" might just not hold up. Because well, MK can try, that's for sure, but all that effort might still not make it a net positive, you know?

I think MK will blame himself for Azure's death, for SURE tough. He might have residual guilt about Spider Queen and everyone else harmed along the way, but Azure is the one I'm certain on. MK feeling like he's a "murder adjacent" and that compounding with the "Wukong Murdered Macaque" reveal and being "just like Wukong"...OH BABY. IT'S ALL COMING TOGETHER.

Like,

MK: "I just- I just want to be me. To be MK!" Curse MK: "Yeah well...we all know exactly where that leads." LBD Voice Over: "To pain."

(4x07 Pitiful Creatures)

Identity and destiny are very much intertwined in this show, and MK doing what he thinks is right and being himself leads to pain. That's exactly what happened to Azure—he took the Jade Emperor's throne to try and make the world a better place, but all he managed to do was barely fix what he himself had broken.

MK: "Yeah well...I'm kinda always the one getting the world in trouble to begin with so..."

(4x01 Familiar Tales)

All it's going to take is one antagonist speech towards MK that hits a little too close to home, and everything else is going to come crashing down.

I am very much getting geared up for my s5 lego tragedy, thank you very much!

#legitimately SO ill over it #Like MK is going to go full harbinger of chaos. I don't see any other way this will shake down #*sobbing* IT'S ALWAYS TO PAIN #MK tries SO hard to have positive character development but he always gets struck down #this is probably my favorite ask ever thank you anon #it seems like you enjoyed the monkey show. I'm glad we're all enjoyin' it #brb I am gonna go and rewatch 2x08 because I can #one of my favorite episodes #Like. Sandy accidentally destroying the bear mountain DRIVES ME INSANE. INSANE. HOW COULD THEY DO THAT TO ME.#Like Sandy's answer to ''to pain'' was very similar to MK's. He was choosing not to fight so he couldn't hurt anyone #But that didn't work out!#And this is imp's continuing adventures of going insane over Sandy and MK parallels #''I AM a monster! That's what the world wants me to be—so that's what I'm gonna give 'em!''#Okay jan #Thanks #This will have no implications down the line #lmk meta #lmk #lego monkie kid #monkie kid #asks #lmk MK

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humming-pokemon-helpers · 4 months

Text

“So, Vanilla, what have you been up to? You’ve been awfully quiet lately.”

Excellent question, person I made up in my head. I’ve been watching each and every one of the Pawmark Dash to Delibird Day movies released in The Year Of The Twin Dragons 2023. There are 42 of them, which deeply unsettles me.

But unfortunately I dedicated myself to the art of cataloguing Pawmark movies when I was a much sadder and lonelier Zorperson, and I’m too stubborn to quit now. (That, and they’re a guilty pleasure; sue me.)

So, below the cut is my ratings of some of them. About 10. Not all 42, I still have some semblance of a life. I did watch all of them though, so I guess if there's any Pawmark enthusiasts who really need to know my thoughts, you can send me an ask? Or you can ask me in-person. At my New Year's party. Which is still happening tomorrow. (Psst. Here's a link if you're interested: https://discord.gg/PkmkQEVF)

1. Celebi With You: Young career businesswoman comes back to her old hometown devoted to Delibird Day and nothing else. Grandpa asks her to take over the shop. She refuses because she has a career. Local childhood-friend-man in flannel gets sad. A Celebi takes her back in time to watch her grandparents’ romance as they open the shop. She changes her mind, gets with the male lead in a very rushed side plot, everyone’s happy.

This one’s a shaky 5/10. Points for not focusing the modern romance first and foremost, but it’s so sloppily done. There's no lead-up to the kiss. And I mean, it's Pawmark. There usually isn't. But give us some level of flirtation! Grandma and gramps are cute, though. Shame grandma’s dead for no reason other than “there must be at least one dead relative in a Pawmark movie”. Also, the CGI Celebi looks TERRIBLE. Like, eye-bleedingly so. That is an onion and a few pipe cleaner legs. I know they can’t get a real Celebi, but at least get a Ditto instead!

2. A Little Holiday Maschiff: The obligatory “turn your brain off and watch cute puppies” movie. Female lead recently lost her Stoutland. Somebody leaves a box of Maschiff puppies on her step in the winter cold. She takes them to the “hunk” at the Pokémon shelter, because she’s not ready to open her heart again, but the shelter’s on the brink of being shut down. They co-pup-parent and create a Delibird Day Pokémon Pageant to fundraise and save the shelter. Get in a fight because the male lead thinks she’s actually trying to get the shelter sold. They make up. They kiss. They adopt like 3 Maschiff puppies. The end.

8/10, but not because of the plot. The “fight” they have is absolutely idiotic. No, the reason I say 8/10 is because I can understand everything those little Maschiff have to say and their commentary is worth their weight in gold. Even if 90% of it is “Am I a good boy? Can I go for a walk after this? Why am I in a box again?”. So good. 4/10 for anybody who doesn’t understand Pokémon. At least the puppies are still cute to look at.

3. Snow Warning: Short summary here because it’s so generic. F!Lead gets caught in once-in-a-lifetime blizzard on her way home. Flight cancelled. Has to share a hotel room with smarmy male lead who looks down on her job as a novelist (and is also a wildly successful businessman). The two roadtrip their way down to F!Lead’s hometown so she can go see her sick dad. Grow a begrudging respect. Eventually they kiss for some reason. Also there’s a side-plot about how the guy actually pissed off an Abomasnow and caused the whole thing, but that wasn’t really interesting. ...Somehow. How do you mess that up?

2/10. The chemistry’s off. I get going for “you hate me so bad you want to kiss me” tension, but it really just comes off like the female lead ought to sock her "date" in the face already. Instead we get a weak “Sorry I called your books stupid. I read one page of your debut novel and it’s not. Can we kiss now?”. Yawn. Also, he never apologizes for the whole Abomasnow thing, which seems like a pretty massive oversight? If we're being realistic here, that's getting held over that man's head for at least a good five years.

4. Sawsbuck’s Greetings: A movie focused around the female lead, who runs a Sawsbuck farm that’s been passed down for generations, and the male lead, who kicks puppies for a living and wants to put a golf course there. But don’t worry, he learns after she makes a deal with him that if he stays on the farm for 30 days and doesn’t see the value of it, he can buy it. Because that’s how buying real estate works. The guy actually has some traumatic history with Pokémon that the saintly female lead helps him overcome. He cuts ties with his company, moves into the Sawsbuck farm, and they have the Pawmark Kiss.

3.5/10 for me. Not even the bored Sawsbuck save this (they are so, so bored). There’s no interesting side characters anywhere! No life! Also, I will say it once again: love does not heal trauma. They try to make it seem like this man goes from erring 50 feet away from “those horrid beasts” to snuggling up with a Deerling in the early AM all thanks to a woman's love. That is not how that works. Get therapy. (I say this knowing full well I would not be as critical if it were gay. Know your biases, folks.)

5. The Chingling Ring: This is one of their “Deli-Day Wedding” movies. A sequel to last year’s “The Chingling Sing”. Female lead gets cold feet about marrying male lead. They nearly break up to all of their friends’ constant dismay. But the woman's Chimecho works with her fiance to gather 25 Chingling to show her 25 places all key to her relationship with her soon-to-be husband. Of course he’s waiting at the 25th, they kiss, make up, happy wedding, baby at the end of it.

Surprisingly, a 6.5/10. The concept is a decent one, if only they didn’t have to stick to 25 arcdamn places instead of… five? Even 12, if you’re looking for something holiday-like but smaller. Each place gets no focus at all, because of course they don’t. It’s an 80-minute movie! The gesture is really romantic though. Chingling are so so adorable. And the male lead is genuinely sympathetic throughout. Just… agh, the rush. Also, do we always need a baby at the end of the wedding ones?

6. Special Delivery: Sort of a mystery movie, on the first female lead's side. (Yes, 1/2!) She, a detective, starts receiving mysterious gifts via Delibird from a ‘secret admirer’. Determined to figure out more, she goes on a hunt through the specifics of the gifts, the places they’re ordered from, and even tracks a Delibird itself. Along the way, she keeps confiding in her best friend, the second lead, about the situation. First lead thinks it's from her coworker, but no, it's a red herring. Lo and behold, it turns out the gifts are secretly coming from... the second lead! There’s a decent coming out/confession scene, which is a compliment for a film studio where movies are produced in 5 weeks. Pawmark Kiss. End film. (Too soon.)

I promise this is not just my lesbian bias (it is), but 7/10. The two leads truly understand the power of pining. Of yearning! …The gift situation is so blatantly obvious that it very much feels like the movie spins its wheels for a while, though. I feel like they were trying to have a twist, because the male lead's pretty heavily marketed, but he also falls flat as a character other than "hey, he's there, and he probably likes you". As a result, though, I thought I was going insane for thinking the leads had chemistry for the first 50 minutes until this film fully vindicated me, something that is incredibly rare with a Pawmark movie. They’d better make a sequel. That’s up-front about its being gay, and at least halfway decent.

7. Deck The Royal Halls: What would Pawmark be without its annual foreign prince movie. This time from the made-up kingdom of “Britain”. Where are they even pulling these names from now? Bog-standard, except the two leads also have to work together to handle the King getting possessed by the legendary Calyrex along the way. Because apparently the “old family heirloom” Hometown Female Lead brings as a gift to His Highness is actually its crown. Anyways, Calyrex demands the two of them get married in the name of the kingdom. They waver on this in some royal courtship, get into a fight, and eventually agree. Happily ever after.

4.5/10: This movie is so cluttered. There’s no good justification for why the female lead is there, why her family has this ancient treasure, and why it is so absolutely crucial she marry The Prince. Calyrex’s VA is very funny during the possession scenes though. So the movie gets an extra point. Calyrex trying to give Mr. Prince Guy a confession pep talk is genuinely one of the better written comedy bits I’ve seen on the channel in a while. Shame the CGI for Calyrex is... not very good. There's no way its head is that big.

8. A Champion Chrismas: So this is what they've had Champion Leon up to since he lost his title. The Battle Tower and paying him to take part in mass-produced rom-coms. Anyways, unfortunately for the female lead, who is absolutely trying her best, this movie is entirely about Leon--or Levi, and how the self-insert (AKA, female lead) saves him from his battling slump when he comes home for the holiday season to his totally-not-Postwick small town with his totally-not-Hop little brother. (who is, actually, played by Hop Laventon. How did they get all of these people???) Anyways, the female lead shows Le-whoever the "joy of Delibird Day" again, they kiss, Le-guy wins a big championship match with his Charizard for her and shouts her out on live TV.

6/10, purely because it's fun to see how non-acting celebrities deal with acting. Also, this is 100% somebody's Leon x Reader fanfiction that got brought to Pawmark's writing room and approved without a second thought. I love that for whoever that was. (Though pretending that definitely isn't Leon and he totally isn't dating Raihan is a bit ingenuous.) Anyways, the writing sucks. The poor heroine is the epitome of a self-insert, for very obvious reasons. But I will admit, I can see why Leon has so many fangirls. He's great at playing that sort of "charming, down to earth" guy. His little brother's pretty good at acting too! Even if he really got shoved to the side for the sake of the love plot. Always seems to be the case for that poor kid...

9. Operation: Present: A movie about... Santa from the future? I think somebody saw Iron Bundle and ran away with it a bit too much. (Also, they have a real Iron Bundle there. This scares me.) Anyways, in this movie, Santa's son appears in front of a social media "influencer" with an Iron Bundle and tells her that if she doesn't convince the world Santa is real, they'll fall into a dark timeline...? I'm so lost as to who wrote this. Is this still Pawmark? I guess it's tangentially Delibird Day-related. Anyways, these two go on a... social media campaign... to spark belief in Santa. Livestreams, Chatters, anything a 60-year-old exec believes is part of social media usage, it's there. But actually, Ms. Influencer doesn't even believe in Santa herself, so they get in this big fight, until Santa's Son gets this notification that Christmas is saved or whatever. They make up. They kiss. I am so lost.

2/10, I am relatively sure this movie was made by drawing ideas out of a hat? And shoving them together? So it's a time-travel, social-media, robot-Delibird, Santa's son, romance movie? Why did they not pick an angle. Any one of those could have worked as an angle. As it is, I feel like I'm going insane even trying to describe the plot. ...And yet I feel as though I know several people this could happen to. Such is the reality of our multiverse.

10. Don't Have A Bird: Okay, they clearly used all of their ideas on the last movie. Because this one is about a woman who works at an Unfezant tip line. As in, a tip line on how to cook Unfezant at the holidays. (Which feels more like a Thanksgiving movie, but I digress!) And a man. Who is trying to cook an Unfezant. That's... the entire plot. The whole thing. Though the woman is also secretly romancing the man in real life! ...And on... the Unfezant tip line. That feels like a blatant violation of phone line policy, but what do I know! The Unfezant Guy feels betrayed by this until The Unfezant Girl brings by a perfect Unfezant, and the day is saved. Hooray.

1.5/10. Who wrote this. Who approved this. Why is it about an arcdamn Unfezant Tip Line. How far down do you have to dig for this idea. Who in the writing room called in to figure out how to unfuck their completely dry, flavorless Unfezant, and thought "You know what would be romantic?" On the bright side, absolutely none of the actors take this movie seriously, thus warranting an extra .5 points. They earned it. Nothing else did. (//Mod note. Based on a real fucking Hallmark movie.)

#i'm sorry to anybody reading past the cut this gets so rambly.#but i hope i can spread the experience of pawmark to at least somebody else.#pkmn irl #pokeblogging #//brought to you by Too Many Hallmark Movies.#//yes the 42 movie thing is real.

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