#traumabb is tired

[traumabb]

I want to not feel crazy.

Like every time I have an emotion, I want to not be overcome by it.

Like I can sleep at night when I'm tired and my body and brain can finally agree.

I want to not feel like such a fucking weirdo.

I want to not feel so alone and isolated and afraid and crazy.

I want to not feel crazy.

#traumabb is tired #trauma #ptsd #depression #anxious #crazy

[traumabb]

Getting out of my last relationship has taught me so much. About myself and what I deserve from others. What I'm looking for in a future partner. And it feels so good to not be trapped anymore in a relationship that didn't make me happy. I did that shit.

#traumabb is tired #dump his ass

[traumabb]

Loved me

Someone fucking loved me

Someone fucking loved me and I fucking loved em too

Goddammit I was worth something

Fucking learned something

I don't wanna get over it

I wanna get under it instead.

No I don't wanna get over it.

I don't wanna get better

#traumabb is tired #trauma #depression #anxiety #ptsd #relationship problems #breakup #Penelope scott #on repeat in my head #it wont shut the fuck up

[traumabb]

I've been so busy distracting myself and then wondering what's wrong with me. Why do I feel this way. What's my brain trying to tell me. I haven't been reflecting or trying to grow or improve myself. I haven't been putting the energy into myself that I need to be. It's so scary to have to start again after stopping after the 50th time. I just want to be ok. Normal.

#traumabb is tired #trauma #ptsd #self care #self compassion #self esteem #distraction #self reflection #if you spell applesauce with only As youd get AAAAAAAAAAAAA

[traumabb]

I'm so alone

#traumabb is tired

[traumabb]

She just wants to be beautiful and perfect and lovely and fine. Why is that too much to ask?

#traumabb is tired #fuck

[traumabb]

I can't love you properly the way you deserve. I don't love myself. I'm trying to take the time to do the work and do it alone. Otherwise it won't get done. Why can't you just let me go?

#breakup #traumabb is tired #self compassion #trauma responses

[traumabb]

I know I'm not enough. I know I have issues. I know I've treated you like shit. Why can't you just hate me and leave? Just give up on me please.

#breakup #traumabb is tired #trauma #trauma responses

[traumabb]

I asked my therapist since I take bipolar meds and I have highs and lows if I have bipolar disorder. She told me not to get caught up in the labels, it presents so differently in people it's hard to say. Like obviously I get really depressed but like mania idk. I used red hair wax and drew with a marker so over myself so I could change without the change. I get super confident and feel like a goddess. Idk man I'm just tired of not knowing what's wrong with me.

#bipolar disorder #traumabb is tired #depression #anxiety #etc

[traumabb]

Why doesn't anyone care? Can someone please just give a shit and show me love? Please

#traumabb is tired #tired #lonely

[traumabb]

Why am I so alone? Why does no one ever stay? I can't hold onto long term relationships, no one ever wants to talk to me or keep in touch unless they want something from me. Am I too clingy? Too desperate? Too reserved? Am I too weird? Not confident enough? What is it? How do I fix it? I just want to be enough for someone to stay. I want someone to stay. Please.

#trauma #ptsd #traumabb is tired #anger #fuck #depression #anxiety #doom scrolling #low self esteem #lack of confidence #not enough #lonely #loneliness #stay

[traumabb]

Put on 'Happier than ever' by Billie Eilish but imagine yourself talking to your depression and anxiety. All your mental health monsters personified and watch that shit wash away.

#traumabb is tired #trauma #depression #anxiety #ptsd #anger #billie eilish #happier than ever

[traumabb]

Fuck it. Let's talk about it. I want to retraumatize myself. I want to feel awful. I want to feel like shit. I want to feel like I deserved it. I want to feel like nothing at all. It's all I can focus on right now. Does anyone else experience this? The intense feeling to make yourself feel like shit. Scrolling through posts that emerse you in your shame and guilt ™. Remind you of what happened. Triggering yourself into a reaction. Torturing yourself. I'm convinced trauma and shame and guilt ™ are all I'll ever feel.

#retraumatize #trigger #traumabb is tired #traumatized #trauma #shame #guilt #doubt #fear

[traumabb]

How do you tell someone you love that you want to die? How do you have a conversation when suicide is all you're thinking about? I don't know if I should be telling that to anyone besides my therapist. It's too much.

#traumabb is tired #suicide ideation #suicidal #unalive #trauma #ptsd #cptsd #depression #anxiety #ok to rb

[traumabb]

Billie Eilish may not talk shit about you on the internet but I sure as fuck do 🖕🏽🖕🏽🖕🏽

#Billie Eilish #happier than ever #survivor #trauma #trauma recovery #let's talk about it #depression #anxiety #angry #anger issues #vent #traumabb is tired

[traumabb]

I've always heard that when you're traumatized, you pretty much stay the same age. You never outgrow it because you are stuck in survival mode. It sticks with you. So I've been 17 for about 6 years now.

#recovery #trauma #traumabb is tired #trauma recovery #trauma survivor #trauma responses #depression #anxiety