#trying to adult

[aka-tua-braindump]

I've been really out of it I almost forgot my meds last night, then actually forgot them this morning. I also wore my shirt to work back to front, after EXPLICITLY CHECKING this morning.

COME ON BRAIN WHY YOU FAIL ME LIKE THIS.

#my brain decided to take a goddamn vacation #thank fuck i noticed the shirt while driving over #i need to sleep for like a whole year #it might be time for those anxiety meds #rant #ramble #im a mess #trying to adult

[destinyhunterwolf]

Sometimes you just have to put on those knee-high socks, an oversized t-shirt and sit on your bed with the music blasting. I know I am not an angsty teen anymore, but nothing makes me feel more like myself.

#adulting #trying to adult #finding myself again #it is normal #enjoying the music #music #bed #being myself #loving myself #happiness #self love #good vibes #positive vibes #be happy #feeling better #not ashamed

[dailyrandomwriter]

Day 187

So after throwing a mental temper tantrum last night, today I settled down to be a responsible adult with medical needs.

I picked up my medication, emailed my manager to ask for a work adjustment (because my work place is awesome), and actually made dinner in a timely manner.

As @wereah so painfully knows, I have a bad habit of not making dinner until it’s very late at night. Procrastination will do that to you, especially if yours is the only mouth to feed. However, nothing makes you eat a meal in a timely manner than medication that requires food.

#trying to adult #being an adult #adulting #adulting with medical needs

[zeichenlily]

Yall can I put hypermobility as an ability on my resumé?

#trying to adult #applications

[iloveenya]

Am I the only Pisces have a full-on emotionally overloading beginning to Pisces season?!

Like wage garnishment, super depressed, hormonal confusion, twat-waffled style kinda vibes.

I just wanna have hope for my 37th birthday, and frankly, this year is starting pretty shitty.

Ok. Vent over. Now to stare at this angel's face to keep me going.

#don't mind me #in my feels #shit hit the fan #trying to adult

[coldbreathwarmheart]

having one of my moods like TIME TO PANIC AND START APPLYING FOR RANDOM JOBS BECAUSE IM GRADUATING COLLEGE THIS YEAR AND I NEED TO FIGURE EVERYTHING OUT!!!!!!!!!!!

adulting... is stressful.

#personal #tumblr venting!!!! #trying to Adult

[blneobin]

why do interviewers ask what i like to do in my free time?? like..... what am i supposed to say?? i just rot on my bed watching a bunch of dramas and doom scroll til i pass out cause intentional sleeping just dont happen

#i say dramas they auto assume its kdrama #which sure i do watch them but i literally have a bl weekly planner scheduled in my head #also.... i dont want to tell them anything other than bring out work alter ego #trying to adult

[fefairys]

getting real fed up with my peers treating teenagers like shit. how did you forget so fucking quickly what it's like to be them. shame on you.

#this is about people my age getting into internet discourse with teenagers #and calling them stupid and overall belittling them and being a jerk to them #like. literally just block them if they are being a shithead #teenagers are shitheads sometimes #youre not going to change them #they need to grow up on their own #and an adult making fun of them isnt going to help #in fact it is going to hinder the process #if you want to try to help you need to be kind #if theyre not receptive to that and are still being an asshole then it is not worth it #and you need to go do something else with your time #you are a fucking adult

[andthebeanstalk]

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

#hlep #original #mental health #my sympathies and empathies to anyone who has to rely on this kind of hlep to get what they need. #the people in my life who most need to see this post are my family but even if they did I sincerely doubt they would internalize it #i've tried to break thru to them so many times it makes my head hurt. so i am focusing on boundaries and on finding other forms of support #and this thing i learned today helps me validate those boundaries. the example with the milk was from my therapist. #the example with the towing company was a real thing that happened with my parents a few months ago while I was age 28. 28! #a full adult age! it is so infantilizing as a disabled adult to seek assistance and support from ableist parents. #they were real mad i was mad tho. and the spoons i spent trying to explain it were only the latest in a long line of #huge family-related spoon expenditures. distance and the ability to enforce boundaries helps. haven't talked to sisters for literally the #longest period of my whole life. people really believe that if they love you and try to help you they can do no wrong. #and those people are NOT great allies to the chronically sick folks in their lives. #you can adore someone and still fuck up and hurt them so bad. will your pride refuse to accept what you've done and lash out instead? #or will you have courage and be kind? will you learn and grow? all of us have prejudices and practices we are not yet aware of. #no one is pure. but will you be kind? will you be a good friend? will you grow? i hope i grow. i hope i always make the choice to grow. #i hope with every year i age i get better and better at making people feel the opposite of how my family's ableism has made me feel #i will see them seen and hear them heard and smile at their smiles. make them feel smart and held and strong. #just like i do now but even better! i am always learning better ways to be kind so i don't see why i would stop

[asksassyjackfrost]

Ah yes! Back at it with this DIY, this time IKEA glass cabinet.

It was white and silver, which clashes with all my black metal and wood/black color scheme

Time to use up that dark blue chalk paint!

#DYI #trying to adult

[prettypingu008]

Pretty sure no one actually knows what they're doing and we are all just in a fake it till you make it state of mind

#trying to adult #dumb quotes

[beinganautismgirl]

this

This.

THIS.

THIS.

THIS.

This!!!!!!

(also, to everyone getting on my case about not reblogging or reposting, I actually tried to find this Tumblr after I found the post on Pinterest and it doesn't exist anymore, so shut up and get off my back 🙃)

#living with autism #anxiety and autism #autism #autistic adult #actually autistic #autistic communication #adhd #adhd adult #adhd brain #audhd #the hell that is trying to find a job when you are neurodivergent #it is specifically designed to work against us #nothing is made for us #we just get royally screwed

[dailyrandomwriter]

Day 394

I realized that I had talked a lot about encouraging myself to use my habit building and mindfulness journal, but I didn’t mention what that means.

In my brain, I also call this journal my “Trying to Adult” journal, because a lot of this are things that I should already be doing at my age. It’s a weird thing to say because I have a lot of medical needs, which I take care of all the time. The problem is, those needs, I’ve had since I was a baby. When I was building those habits, I had my parents watching over me. 

And I may talk about those at some point because they’re really interesting memories.

The point is though, I had help building those habits, so building anything new is very hard. Though there are one or two skills that I should have had from childhood, but habits like flossing weren't a high priority when you’re in the hospital. I’m frankly amazed that brushing my teeth is a habit I have at all with the amount of times I had an extended stay with the doctors. 

So I’m building these habits in two ways. The first, is with monthly trackers, weekly check-ins and monthly wrap-ups. 

Monthly trackers are just small grid calendars where you add a dot on the day of the week you did the habit. You get to see visually how often you did that habit for that month, and if you only do that habit on certain days of the week, you can black out that whole column day. I’m told this is also useful because if there are particular days you tend to skip that habit when you shouldn’t, you’ll notice that trend, which can help in planning accordingly.

Weekly Check-Ins is the end of the week page where I note how many times that week I did my habit. This weekly check-in is also designed to celebrate what I did manage to do. Like if I met any of my monthly goals that week, I can put it there. I also put in when was the last time I had an infection, because any day I don’t have an infection is a good day.

Monthly Check-Ins count habits by total amount done so far. So the idea is to keep a continuous count of how many times I did the thing. Like the Weekly Check-Ins, it’s designed to celebrate what I got done, and there’s a section for rewards I won that week.

That’s right.

I’m bribing myself!

Let me be clear, I’m not the cleanest person ever. I tend to not notice dust, it drives my mother crazy. So instead of having a cleaning monthly tracker (because that wasn’t going to work), I made a Bi-Weekly Bingo instead. I’ve broken down my chores into 25 squares, noting that mopping is extra hard for me so that’s only going to show up once a month.

From here on out, I’m not allowed to buy anything from my favourite bakery, ice cream shop and no stationary for me. On each bingo card there are three rewards. The first line I get, I get a sweet treat from my favourite bakery. First diagonal line, I get to buy an ice cream taco from my favourite ice cream shop. And if I complete the card before the two weeks are up, I get stationary from the specific stationary shop listed on the rewards line. Why a specific stationary shop? Because all stationary shops have different amounts you need to buy before they give you free shipping, which is the limit amount I can buy for that reward. 

I did this… primarily to limit the amount of money I would spend. As well as the amount of stationary I can buy.

I’ve already decided… by the way. I saw this really cute tape set of Halloween black cats and I am going to earn those cats!

#bullet journaling #bribing one's self #trying to adult

[kelocitta]

Anthro Au Survivor drafts feat. too much worldbuilding because I cant just put pants on a slugcat like a normal person & my godawful handwriting

The Survivor (Their full, scavenger-given name includes the 'The') was separated from their family while traveling between colonies and stranded in the dangerous unpopulated wilds. Against all odds they managed to survive (and wander) far longer than they should have been able, but rather than reconnecting with their (or another) slugcat family, they instead made contact with one of the many wandering scavenger troops- But unfortunately not one that had ever met a slugcat nor had any idea what to make of a stranded one. Regardless the group gave it their best, ended up committing to the role of slugparents, and The Survivor and their troop still consider themselves close family long after Survivor finally reconnected with their sibling. (They're a bit of a mess though, understandably)

#rain world #rw anthro #subject to change and sorry if you actually try to make sense of this #but since arti is more anti-scav and survivor is a lil 'plain' i thought mixing scavengers in them would be a fun thing to explore #with the vanilla slugcats #unfortunately it means survivor was a very confused child who is a still confused adult #Also just cause of the way this is set up I think they have reconnected with Monk at this point #making this all so much harder on myself by not just going 'yea theyre in high school they ride bikes and drive cars' instead im being weir #and theyre turning more to rw if the creatures were sentient enough to do taxes #scribbles

[thirstywaffles]

When your crush finally loves you back

[ID: Scum Villain fanart of Luo Binghe. He's standing with his arms spread slightly at his sides, palms up. He's smirking and his eyes glint red. There's a large caption across his body that says "i am no longer mentally ill". /end ID]

#doodley #pls ignore how i've been drawing his clothes differently each time #pls take it as lbh trying to impress sqq with his banging fashion sense #anyways. i love making lbh kinda insane & possessive LMAOO #like a rabid dog kinda charm #in this house we stan an insane young adult with fucked up morals #artists on tumblr #digital art #illustration #svsss #luo binghe #sv #scum villain's self saving system #scum villain #id by @bytedykes !!!

[im-totally-not-an-alien-2]

Danny was livid.

The Guys In White had been following Phantom around constantly and while they weren't much of a threat, they were a massive nuisance. They had shot him down on Thursday and caused him to crash into some poor kids birthday cake in the park.

On Friday they had accidentally released ghost rats into the school.

On Saturday they had somehow managed to turn Paulinas hair ectoplasm green. She refused to leave her bedroom until it was reversed

On Sunday they tried to commandeer his parents GAV and earned the ire of his mom. They found out exactly why that was a bad idea.

On Monday they bardged into Danny's classroom, interrupting his math test because they were looking for a ghost parrot. It was mostly harmless but kept insulting them in a cheery tone. Danny decided he liked that bird.

We won't speak about what happened on Tuesday.

On Wednesday, he scowled at an agent that had accidentally blasted him and his friends with liquid ectoplasm while they were sitting and eating lunch. It was then that Danny began plotting his revenge.

That night he when ghost and lead the GIW on a while goose chase. Did danny take them across state lines? Yes. Did he manage to pull a massive following of these creeps? Also yes.

Did he plan for his target-the guy he had been leading them to- to already be in cuffs when he arrived in Gotham? No. Not at all.

"Hey, uh..." the words died on his tongue as Batman- The Batman- turned to him with narrowed eyes. Mustering his will, he started again, "Could you let him out? Just for a little bit?"

"No."

"Aw, Cmon!"

Condiment King began raving about something, but Danny didn't particularly care to pay attention. "If you're not going to let him out, then can you at least call the rest of the paw patrol? I wanna ask if they wanna throw mud at evil secret organization people. For enrichment." Danny gave his best, most cheeky smile for extra measure.

"Hn."

#dpxdc #fanfiction prompts #prompts #danny fenton #danny phantom #batman #condiment king #guys in white #maddline fenton beating up government agents #supposed government agents at least #the bats should be allowed to tear apart the giw for funsies #Danny -i have never met a compatent adult- Fenton: Yeah i can totally keep my identity a secret from Batman :D #narrator: he could not #the batgam go ham #not only do they destroy the giw they also terrorize them with stains #danny is so happy #danny is trying to figure out what *hn* means. hes not fluent in Batman