#trying to explain jewish holidays is hard lol

[waitingonavision]

Jewish!Madrigals and their favorite (Jewish) holidays

Expanding on the list of headcanonons I started in this Bruno-centered post!

Alma loves lighting the Shabbat and Chanukah candles. She usually dreads doing tashlikh* on Rosh Hashanah, and cleaning before Passover, both being symbols of “letting go” (positive symbols, but hard on her emotionally). Yizkhor can be difficult for her too.

*This is where Jews symbolically cast off their sins during Rosh Hashanah. Usually bread gets thrown in a moving body of water. Yizkhor is a prayer service for remembering loved ones who have died.

Julieta loves Rosh Hashanah, a big family holiday celebrating the New Year, which includes a lot of good food. Her least favorite is probably Passover because of the food restrictions.

Pepa loves Chanukah because she enjoys lighting the menorah and singing the blessings. Her favorite character is Judith (who resurfaced as an important figure to the conversos* in the earlier centuries of the CE). She has a lot of happy memories, as well as romantic ones involving Félix.

*Spanish Jews who were forced to convert to Christianity and who may or may not have continued to practice Judaism in secret. Also, the basis for my headcanon that the Madrigals are descended from conversos and therefore have Jewish ancestry.

Bruno loves Sukkot because he gets to build a sukkah (a hut) that is partially open to the sky and stars. When Sukkot falls “late” in the year and coincides with the triplets’ birthday, they get to celebrate and eat in the sukkah together. I’m going amend what I wrote in the post linked at the top and say that Bruno doesn’t love Purim because the idea of booing/drowning out the villain’s name whenever it’s mentioned is a painful thing for him.

Isabela loves Tu Bishvat, the New Year of the trees, and organizing the Seder* for the holiday (featuring different Colombian fruits and nuts!). I imagine she also likes Shavuot quite a bit and sometimes competes with her sisters and cousins over who can remain awake the longest (you’re supposed to stay up studying all night on Shavuot eve).

*Similar idea as the Passover Seder: a ritual service "ordered” around symbolic foods on a plate.

Dolores loves Shabbat because it’s a break from a noisy world of work and creation. She gets to luxuriate in the relative quiet of the day and read side by side with her mamá and baby brother.

Luisa loves Purim for the story. She admires Esther quite a bit. She probably also likes Shavuot because the food is very dairy-centered and there are a lot of cheesy dishes in Colombia (I can’t get over the calcium helps make bones strong connection with her).

Camilo loves Purim because it’s a topsy-turvy holiday of excess and fun. He slays the costume contest every year. He also likes Chanukah and thinks the buñuelos taste extra special during this week.

Mirabel loves Shavuot, and Sukkot, because she loves the themes of inclusion. For her, the story of Ruth and Naomi, from the Book of Ruth, is a beautiful tale of loyalty and family. Yes, all three of the Madrigal sisters like Shavuot.

Antonio loves Shabbat because he gets to spend a quiet day with his big sister. He always asks about the animals in the Torah (and vehemently protests the ancient practice of animal sacrifice once he learns about it). He also enjoys hearing Tío Bruno tell the story of Passover every year.

#encanto #encanto headcanons #alma madrigal #julieta madrigal #bruno madrigal #pepa madrigal #isabela madrigal #dolores madrigal #luisa madrigal #camilo madrigal #mirabel madrigal #antonio madrigal #trying to explain jewish holidays is hard lol #headcanons #jewish madrigals #my writing #stuff i've posted

[magnetothemagnificent]

So how do we feel about Christians using the priestly blessing?

Some background - my family was Jewish, I'm the only one who is Jewish (I converted). My brother is Christian and his wife is a pastor. I noticed that they have started saying the priestly blessing over their kids before bed, and he said it over my nephew in church during his dedication. It has rubbed me wrong since I first heard them say it before bedtime one night, but I need someone smarter than me to help me out here lol.

They also dipped their toes into "friday night sabbath dinner" a while back, but have since stopped (thank gd). They also had a kiddush cup at their wedding (they didn't know that's what it was till I pointed it out), and they used that for their friday dinners too.

I guess I just need some help with explaining to them in a simple way why this stuff is wrong for them to be doing because I think they genuinely don't know. I think they might think that because "we're Jewish", that it's fine. But really my biggest question is about the priestly blessing, because it just rubs me wrong but I don't have the right language to explain why (and if) it's totally wrong to them.

Ooof yeah the Priestly Blessing is a no-no for Christians.

First of all, the Priestly Blessing is called the Priestly Blessing because it's traditionally said only by Kohanim to the rest of the Jewish people. This is something that's strictly genetic- nearly all Kohanim share a Y-haplotype linking them all to one ancestor. Jewish priesthood is inherited via an unbroken patrilineal chain.

While Jewish parents, Kohen or not, sometimes recite the Priestly Blessing when blessing their children before Shabbat and holidays, it's not the same.

Your family is not Jewish, it's not right for them to recite Jewish prayers. I don't know if you'll be able to convince them, because unfortunately Christians who are very stubborn in their appropriation of Judaism are hard to convince. Maybe try telling them how it makes you feel as a Jew, and how their behaviour makes you feel uncomfortable?

Honestly good luck, because that sounds like a shitty situation to be in.

#jumblr #messies #christian antisemitism #judaism

[batboyblog]

For bar/bat mitzvahs, do they start at a synagogue and the child reads something from the Torah and then everyone goes to the child’s house afterwards for the birthday party portion? Are outsiders like non Jewish family or friends allowed to attend the religious aspect and sit in on the synagogue reading or is it a more private affair? I guess I have a lot of questions about the religious aspect. I’m trying to include Jewish representation in a story and I don’t want to portray it as just some big birthday when it’s more significant than that. I’ve also heard that sometime instead of reading from the Torah they recite a prayer instead? What are some common prayers or passages from the Torah that are read in your opinion?

I should state I'm not a Rabbi nor a particularly religious person.

If someone is writing a Jewish character or Jewish scene it's first important to understand what kind of Jew are you writing? the mood vibe and style of Orthodox, Conservative and Reform (the big 3) are different and thats before you get into like Hassidic or Reconstructionist. And of course Ashkenazi and Sephardi are different liturgical traditions

So speaking as a not very observant Reformnik, the way it was for me, generally speaking its fine for non-Jewish friends to come to Synagogue, that said it was like, you invited your *real* friends to the service and like all the people you want at your party can come to the party.

any ways yes it generally starts at synagogue, I had to read from the Torah, and then give whats called a D'var Torah, which basically is explaining what it is you read and what it means and you're trying to make an original point (rather hard to do with a 3,000 year old document) and a "lesson" to the congregation. This I believe is usual, but I hear some kids don't have to read from the Torah and only have to do the blessings, lucky them. You don't get to pick, Jews read a Torah portion same day every year, we have a holiday when we've finished (And start again) so the Bar mitzvah kid is assigned that week's reading

oh reading the Torah is called Aliyah, means "going up".

and then yes you go to the party after Synagogue, some kids like have a party RIGHT after, some its like you do the synagogue thing in the morning and the party is at night, you know generally there's not a birthday cake as a rule lol and all the food is kosher

#bar mitzvah #others likely will do better than me on this #Jewish #judaism

[dickwheelie]

this is a few days late but it’s still technically Hanukkah, so! here’s a fic about Jon and Martin celebrating Hanukkah in the safehouse (shhh timelines aren’t real) because I like to project and I really like the idea of Jon being Jewish. a lot of us are having weird holidays this year, away from friends and family, so the boys having a weird one too seemed appropriate. in particular, Jon not having a menorah because I don’t have one this year either :(

the stuff in this is based on my own experiences celebrating Hanukkah growing up in a pretty secular household, so if you see anything that’s “wrong” then that’s why, lol. the prayer is accurate as far as I know though, it’s the same one my family and I sing every year.

(also this is not a good representation of how to make rugelach! if you really want a good recipe, hmu and if you ask nicely I might share my mother’s 😁)

enjoy and Happy Hanukkah!! 💙🕎✡️💙

___________

“I just feel bad,” Martin said, watching from the sofa as Jon put the challah in the oven. “You’re doing all this cooking, and I’m just sitting on the couch like a lump. And this is supposed to be your holiday.”

“Martin, for the tenth time, it’s fine. Besides, the holiday doesn’t actually start until sundown,” Jon called, cheerfully enough, from the kitchen. Jon liked cooking, Martin knew, and he didn’t really see it as a chore in the same way Martin did. Still, this was a special day for Jon (well, eight days, really), and Martin wanted to be of some use. He’d offered to do everything from peeling potatoes to rolling matzoh balls, but Jon, ever the control freak in the kitchen, had stopped him at every turn. Still, he couldn’t help but feel a bit guilty about not helping out as Jon bustled about, trying to make Hanukkah dinner for the both of them.

More than helping out, really, Martin just kind of . . . wanted to share this with Jon. The way Jon talked about it, it sounded as though he’d had more Hanukkahs alone than with friends or what little family he had. Martin wanted to make Jon feel like he didn’t have to be alone this year, and even if Martin was new to this, he was game to learn. Jon had already told him about the holiday and all the different foods he was making, but there was still some distance there, a disconnect, that Martin knew Jon wasn’t putting between them on purpose. It seemed to Martin more like a force of habit than anything else.

After setting the timer for the challah, Jon nodded, satisfied, and came over to join Martin on the couch. He slouched against him comfortably, and Martin automatically put an arm around his shoulders. Jon had a bit of flour on his nose, and Martin gently swiped it off, which made Jon’s face wrinkle up like a disgruntled cat. Bloody adorable, Martin thought.

“I get a bit of a break before I have to start on the latkes in a few hours,” Jon said. “Got to make those right before dinner so they’re fresh.”

“Can I please help with those?” Martin said, half-joking.

“Fine,” Jon laughed, “yes, Martin, you can help with the latkes.”

“You won’t regret it.”

“I’m sure.”

“Is there dessert?” Martin asked, offhandedly. He hadn’t noticed Jon getting out any sugar or making anything sweet that day. “Do people eat anything sweet on Hanukkah?”

“Well, there’s gelt,” Jon says. “Chocolate coins. But the grocer’s didn’t have any. Unsurprisingly.”

Martin laughed. “Yeah. Probably not a huge priority in the Highlands.”

“People also make rugelach, sometimes.”

“Arugula?”

Jon laughed, not unkindly. “Rugelach. Different from the vegetable. Very different,” he said. “It’s a pastry. A kind of holiday cookie, I guess you could call it. Sweet dough with chocolate or cinnamon inside. It’s simple to make, but I didn’t buy the right stuff for it, and honestly I have enough cooking to do.”

“Yeah? How d’you make it?” Martin asked, innocently enough, though an idea was brewing.

As Jon explained, he waved his hands in the air, miming the process. “You just roll out some pastry dough, cover it with chocolate or cinnamon or walnuts or whatever you like, cut it into strips, and roll them up.” He thought for a moment. “They look a bit like seashells.”

“Huh,” Martin said. “Seems easy enough.” He’d never made dough before, but how hard could it be, really. The hardest part, he figured, would be actually making the things in their tiny cabin and even tinier kitchen without Jon finding out.

Soon after that, the oven timer started beeping, announcing that the bread was done. Martin took advantage of Jon busying himself in the kitchen to slip out the door, giving him some offhand excuse about wanting to get some air, to which Jon waved him off.

In the baking aisle at the grocer’s, Martin quickly realized he was out of his depth. He stared at the display of flour and sugar and baking powder and all sorts of other stuff, utterly at a loss as to what one needed to make pastry dough. He tried, once again, to Google a recipe on his phone, but once again, there was no service and no wifi.

Well, there was always pre-made, frozen dough. Not ideal, but it’d probably work in a pinch. Much faster to make, too, Martin thought as he dropped a couple cans of it into his basket. The filling, at least, he knew he’d be able to handle; he grabbed a few bags of baking chocolate and a shaker of cinnamon, and brought everything up to the checkout counter.

Martin didn’t even know which lucky stars to thank when he arrived back at the cabin to find the kitchen empty, and Jon passed out on the bed in a post-challah, pre-latke cooking nap. Martin gently closed the bedroom door and immediately set to baking.

Going by Jon’s vague descriptions, he rolled out some of the dough into a flat oval shape, but the pre-made kind wasn’t meant to be used all at once, and the end result was a sort of lumpy mass. Digging around in the cupboards, he was able to find some flour, which helped make the dough less sticky, at least. Eventually, he was able to get it flat enough to cover it with the filling, like Jon had told him. Half of the dough he covered in cinnamon, liberally shaking it out all over the dough. The other half he covered with the baking chocolate, which came in little chunks, but he figured it would melt in the oven just fine.

Next, just as Jon had described, he cut the dough into even strips, thin and rectangular, and rolled each of them up, so the filling made a little spiral shape inside. The chocolate ones were a bit chunky and awkward-looking, but, well, it was the taste that counted, wasn’t it.

Martin turned to face the oven, realizing he had no idea how long they ought to bake for, or at what temperature. He checked the instructions on the tins of pre-made dough, deciding to go by whatever they suggested. It wouldn’t do for the dough to be raw, he figured.

Soon enough, the pastries were in the oven, and Jon was still dead to the world, none the wiser. Martin felt quite satisfied as he cleaned up, mentally patting himself on the back for a job well- and stealthily-done. He’d hide them in the oven, he decided, until after dinner, and then he’d surprise Jon. Smiling, he went to join Jon in bed, curling up next to him as he slept, until he fell asleep himself.

Martin woke groggily several hours later to Jon gently shaking him awake, telling him it was time to make the latkes. He’d already got the batter done, a thick, floury mixture of potato and onion, and a pan of oil was bubbling on the stove. Jon showed Martin how to drop spoonfuls of batter into the pan, patting them down to shape them into little fist-sized “pancakes.” He let both sides brown in the oil until they were nice and crispy, before transferring them onto a paper towel-covered plate to cool. It was simple enough, and Martin was able to finish up the batch as Jon set the table, bringing out the challah and matzoh ball soup he’d made, as well as sour cream and apple sauce to dip the latkes in.

Once the latkes were done (and Martin was quite proud to say they’d come out very nicely), Jon retrieved some red wine he’d gotten in the village and poured them both a glass. Then, as Martin was getting ready to sit down, Jon glanced around sheepishly, gesturing at an empty space on the kitchen counter.

“I, ah, normally I’d have a menorah to light. But obviously I didn’t bring one when we came up. And out here, well, it’s the same as with the gelt. No real place to buy one.”

“Oh,” Martin said, heart sinking. He reached out to squeeze Jon’s hand. “That’s a shame. I’m really sorry.”

“Really, I just wish I could show you,” Jon said, shaking his head as he took his seat at the table. “It’s really lovely. You light a new candle every night, and when they’re all lit . . . I’m sure it’d look nice here, especially.” He gestured at the space in front of the darkened kitchen window.

“Yeah,” Martin agreed, wistfully. He’d seen photos of menorahs before, and he could just picture it, he and Jon gathered around, lighting candle after candle as the eight nights passed.

“Well,” Jon said, turning back to face Martin at the table, “we may not have a menorah, but I can still do the blessing.”

“Blessing?”

“Yes. You’re supposed to do it while lighting the menorah, but, well. I’m sure this will do, given the circumstances.” Jon reached his hand across the table, and Martin took it.

“Alright.” Jon cleared his throat, almost self-consciously, and then began to sing in Hebrew, a melodic, practical tune that sounded comfortable and familiar on his tongue, like a well-worn shawl. “Barukh ata Adonai, Eloheinu, melekh ha’olam, asher kid’shanu b’mitzvotav, v’tzivanu, l’hadlik ner, shel Hanukkah.”

Martin couldn’t really sing along to the words, but he nodded along to the melody, and when Jon was done he looked up at him and smiled, and Martin beamed back. They both raised their glasses and drank.

They ate heartily, or at least Martin did, because Jon kept shoving second and third bowls of soup at him, and insisting he finish off the latkes. Not that Martin was complaining, of course; it was all delicious, and Jon did praise him for how nice the latkes had come out.

They left the dirty dishes for later (or, knowing the two of them, tomorrow morning), and after dinner they went straight for presents. Though his options were limited without online shopping or anything outside of the tiny village, Martin had managed to find an adorable little painted china Highland cow in a local antiques shop.

“I know you think they’re cute,” Martin said as Jon lifted it out of the box.

“How did you know,” Jon deadpanned, but he grinned as he brought it up to his nose and stared at its little painted snout. “I love it, Martin, thank you.”

Jon had gone the homemade route, and knitted Martin a scarf. And a pair of mittens. And an entire bloody sweater.

“Oh my god, Jon,” Martin said, staring in disbelief at the mounds of knitwear before him. “How did you find time to do all this? How did you find time to do all this without me knowing?”

Jon looked away sheepishly. “I, uh, I’m a fast knitter.”

Martin shook his head fondly. Unbelievable. But he immediately took off the sweater he’d been wearing and pulled on the one Jon had made. It fit rather well and was as cozy as it looked. “Thank you, Jon,” he said, feeling the sleeves, knowing that every loop and stitch of the fabric had been purposeful. He could practically feel the care and love Jon had put into each one of them. “I love it,” he said, leaning over to kiss Jon at the corner of his eye.

“Well,” Jon said, cheeks darkening, “Happy Holidays, then.”

“Oh,” Martin said, rising from the sofa, “I’ve actually got one more thing. Sort of a last-minute gift.”

“Hm?”

Martin went over to the oven and took out the trays of rugelach. He’d checked them earlier to see if they were cooked through, but hadn’t gotten the chance to taste one yet. “Tried my hand at a bit of dessert,” he said, selecting a couple nice-looking ones and putting them on a plate for Jon to try.

Jon had followed Martin into the kitchen, and was staring at the pastries lined up on the trays. “Oh, well, thank you,” he said, surprised, taking the plate Martin handed to him. “What are they?”

Martin cocked his head at him. “Rugelach,” he said. Wasn’t it obvious?

Jon’s eyebrows shot up to his hairline. “Ah,” he said, voice strained with positivity. “Of course. Right.”

Martin was starting to get a sinking feeling in his stomach.

Gingerly, Jon took one of the rolled-up pastries, and bit into it.

Martin tried one as well. It was one of the chocolate ones, and it was . . . crunchy. Very crunchy. The chocolate, it seemed, had only partially melted in the oven, and the pastry dough itself was a bit hard to bite through. Besides that, it wasn’t very sweet, the chocolate being too dark and the dough being too salty.

He tried a cinnamon one. Again, the dough was crunchy, and the cinnamon was overpowering without any sweetness to it. Martin considered the possibility that perhaps he ought to have added sugar.

Jon, for his part, was doing his best impression of a person who was very much enjoying the pastry they were eating, honest. “Mmm,” he said, demonstratively, as he swallowed one of the cinnamon ones. “Thank you, Martin, these are . . . delicious.”

Jon was actually reaching for seconds, which Martin knew he was only doing to make him feel better, so he reached out a hand and placed it on Jon’s, stopping him short.

Jon looked up at him. Martin shook his head wordlessly. Jon cracked a smile.

“They’re not good,” Martin said, putting them back on the trays one by one.

“Martin--”

“It’s okay,” Martin said, smiling back at him, “I know. They’re rubbish. I didn’t even use a recipe, of course they were gonna turn out--”

“Well,” Jon said, stubbornly, “you tried. It’s the thought that counts. Thank you, Martin, really,” Jon said, bringing up Martin’s hand to kiss the back of it. “It was very sweet of you to put all this effort into it.”

“Next time, I’ll look up a recipe,” Martin said, bringing one of the trays over to the kitchen bin. Jon was quick to assist him.

“There’s seven nights of Hanukkah left,” Jon said, after a moment’s thought. “We can always try again. Tomorrow, we’ll get more ingredients, and I’ll show you how to do it properly. It really is easy, you just need . . . well. Sugar, for one.”

Martin laughed as he tossed the last of the batch away. “Okay. We’ll try again tomorrow.”

“I mean it, though,” Jon said, looking at him fondly. “Thank you. For this, and for the cow, and for sharing the holiday with me. It’s . . . this has been really . . .”

Jon was gesturing in the empty air, struggling for the proper word, but Martin understood well enough. “Yeah,” he said. “And thank you, for sharing it with me.” He pressed a kiss to Jon’s cheek.

“Happy Hanukkah, Jon.”

#tma #the magnus archives #jonmartin #martin blackwood #jonathan sims #gwyneth writes #oh shit this is long #it's 2.4k #btw not pictured in their spread is gefilte fish which is a staple in my holiday dinners #but again idk if you could find it in the scottish highlands lmao #not a ton of jews out there i imagine #anyway happy hanukkah yall i love you

[sunshine-tattoo]

so I just wanted to remind the goyim that, while hannukah may be fun, it is not "Jewish Christmas".

hannukah is a minor holiday celebrating the Jewish victory over the Greek invaders and the miracle of our temple oil lasting 8 nights, even tho it should have only lasted one.

it's a nice time for us, but it's not a huge deal the way Christmas is for you guys.

Yom Kippur and Rosh Hashanah are WAY bigger. As is Passover of course.

"so then why is there such an emphasis on having at least some hannukah stuff at stores in addition to Christmas?"

well frankly because of capitalism.

Christmas wasn't that big a holiday until the late 1800s. but it slowly became this monumental thing that department stores could take full advantage of.

don't get me wrong. I like the snowmen and wreaths and peppermint very much. it's a nice aesthetic.

but I also definitely won't deny that most of it is profits driven.

anyway. back many decades ago, gentiles (who loved Christmas) were like "hey Jewish friends. don't you have something to celebrate?"

and we were like "well hannukah is kinda around the same time." even if not every family was into it. since again it's a more minor holiday.

but suddenly everyone had to be doing SOMETHING at the end of December and if it wasn't Christmas, then hannukah was the next best thing. sorta.

so stores started putting the two out together, like they were interchangeable winter holidays. Christmas trees and santa next to menorahs and stars of David. stuff like that.

and while it is nice that at least people kinda get that Jews have our own thing, I really wish that we started putting an emphasis on how Jewish holidays are completely separate from gentile holidays and vice versa.

this is the easiest way I can explain it:

Christian holidays are based on pagan seasonal traditions that were redone with a fresh coat of Jesus paint by the church in order to convert people.

so Christmas is really just the winter solstice but they said it was Jesus's b-day. all the traditions, like decorating trees and having warm fires, stayed the same.

easter too. it was a spring fertility festival. complete with rabbits and eggs as symbols of rebirth. they just rebranded it as when Jesus died and was reborn.

all of this is of course perfectly fine. These traditions are fun and lovely. It's no wonder they have stuck around this long.

Jews traditions tend to be a lot more serious. And they aren't really based on the seasons the same way. Because our people are from the deserts of northern Africa. We didn't have the same type of seasons as northern Europe or (northern) north america.

our big holidays are Rosh Hashanah (the new year), Yom Kippur (the day of repentance), and Passover (celebrating our escape from slavery in Egypt and honoring those who died so we could be free).

tho there are fun things associated with each of these like food and family, the big focus is on remembering to honor G-d and understanding that everything we have took a lot of work. being humble and kind to others.

which is why it's very hard for capitalism to get it's claws into our traditions. hannukah is the easiest one because it's less serious.

But i would love to see a department store try to commercialize Yom Kippur when it's literally a day of fasting and prayer. good fucking luck.

I guess what I'm getting at with all of this is that Jews are not Christians-just-without-Jesus.

we have our own traditions and they are not like yours no matter how hard Department Store Dan wants to push the hannukah and Christmas stuff together.

And that is totally okay. It's nice that we are so different. So that when we get together we can enjoy different stuff. :)

I love going to friends' Christmas parties. Eggnog is the fucking best. I get wrecked on that shit.

And I know that friends really love eating latkes at my place and lighting the candles with me. It's so peaceful and nice and I wouldn't trade it for anything. <3

(Oh and if anyone is wondering why hannukah is never the same days year to year it's because we use a lunar calendar. like how your Easter varies every year. But don't ask me how ours work because I honestly have no fucking idea lol. I just google when our holidays are each year and then put it in my phone.)

#jew #judaism #christmas #rosh hashanah #yom kippur #passover #hannukah #easter #diversity

[tzipporahssong]

Question about how "conversion isn't something to avoid" (not disagreeing btw! Conversion sounds like a very beautiful and nice albeit hard process and I fully support converts, I just have a question concerning me specifically lol hope you don't mind)

So my grandma on my mom's side is Jewish, so about 1/4 of my family is Jewish, but out of the family I actually interact with regularly it's more like 1/2. I wasn't baptized at all, I'm not sure if my mom was? So obviously I've been exposed to a lot of Christian hegemony but I was still raised knowing somethings about judaism. And recently I've been interested in knowing more. I read Essential Judaism, and I want to read To Life and A Rainbow Thread, and I've been asking my Jewish friends and family more about things (apparently my mom knows way more than I thought lol, I keep saying "did you know this about judaism?!" and she's like "yeah?")

The thing is, I'm not sure if I want to convert. I'm an atheist and I'm not really interested in finding g-d (even though I know that's really meaningful to others and I don't feel superior about it or anything, I'm just kind of indifferent?? I hope that's not offensive). So I'd feel weird approaching a rabbi or attending service regularly because I'd feel like I'm being disrespectful or pretending or something. Idk if that makes sense, it's hard to explain in words because it's just a feeling I have about it. And part of me is worried that my Jewish friends and family will judge me, even though I know for a fact they're accepting of converts because my great uncle invited a woman converting to our Seder 2 years in a row and my friend's dad is a convert. But I just feel insecure about it for some reason, and I like that reading about it is, like, an individual activity that no one can judge me for. (On the other hand, I feel weirdly insecure about doing ANYTHING that people in my life like, even on a smaller scale. Like I'll feel awkward for starting to listen to a band they like even tho they'd actually be thrilled that I'm into it).

So I don't feel like conversion is right for me (at least not for right now- maybe the reasons above are actually only because I haven't been interested long enough yet ???), but it's still my heritage and I still want to participate in holidays and learn more, and I feel like I at least somewhat can identify as Jewish? But I don't want to be insulting or offending converts by trying to say I'm Jewish without converting when I wasn't completely raised that way. And I usually say I'm 1/4 Jewish or part Jewish anyway, idk if that's better or worse. I feel like I'm rambling now so I'll stop but I hope something here made sense and none of it was accidentally rude? Have I actually asked a question? What are your thoughts, I guess?

So there’s a little bit of nuance to this I think! First of all, there’s a difference between claiming to be Jewish and having Jewish heritage. Embracing the latter and wanting to explore it respectfully while also acknowledging that you may or may not be technically Jewish (depending on whether or not your mother was baptized) is totally possible! I’m sorry if this keeps getting muddled but really my qualms are with one specific person who harassed me and my partner for months and refuses to acknowledge that she’s approaching Judaism in a disrespectful way.

Second of all, I’m not sure if you know this but you absolutely don’t have to be a theist to convert to or practice Judaism. We are a religion, not a faith. Every Jew has their own unique relationship with the concept of Gd, and many of the most devout Jews I know are ambivalent about the idea. Many people’s concept of Gd fluctuates or has been eradicated due to some kind of event and that’s completely okay, it’s their prerogative. We are a religion based on community and on action, there’s no requirement for belief in Gd. I’m not saying that in any kind of attempt to convince you, I just want you to know the option is there for you.

If you want to try a service or two you ABSOLUTELY should. They are open to respectful visitors and nothing says that if you go to one you have to convert. If you want to talk to a rabbi about your situation then you can! Nothing says that if you talk to one then you have to convert! (Actually, not being turned away from conversion is a fairly recent thing and now only in more liberal spaces). If you are Jewish and your mother just didn’t practice, then nothing says you have to go to services! Plenty of Jews study on their own and aren’t regular attendees, though I will strongly recommend finding another way to connect with a Jewish community. Are you sensing a trend here? There’s no one or right way to be a Jew or to have Jewish heritage or to explore the concept. As long as you are respectful (which I can tell you’re committed to) you’ve got nothing to worry about as you explore this path.

Please feel free to reach out any time 💙

#anonymous #jumblr #judaism #jew by choice #asks #anon

[idk-my-aesthetic]

a concept

U know how in the comics Aang starts rebuilding the air nation with ppl who are basically converts to their religion? By like teaching them about the air nomad’s ways and stuff?

What if he gave some of them air bending using energy bending? And they could start re-building the air nation and it’s culture by teaching them everything!! They could even start moving back into the temples now that they could fly and rebuilding

They’d even have the bison!! According to the wiki aang found a living herd after the war !!

Idk just. As a Jewish person genocide stories are really really personal to me. And the thought of being the last of my people is terrifying

I just really want the air nation to have a chance to rebuild in a natural way. And I think that like letting ppl choose to convert and gifting them with air bending would probably be the best way

Ik aang’s kids and grandkids have air bending but trying to rebuild an entire nation from one bloodline is.... not the best idea

And I also know that in lok a bunch of ppl are given air bending, but that whole story really rubs me the wrong way (no hate to lok though!! There are parts I like!!)

Under the cut is basically an explanation as to why I take issue w/ it and find it mildly offensive/an essay about cultural appropriation in general lol. but i don’t wanna kill ppl’s dashes so if you wanna see the explanation check there 

but i really think that aang like.... allowing ppl to convert, and teaching them, and gifting them w/ airbending in the most natural/best way for that story to go and i wanted to share that!! :) 

anyway time for a whole essay because i.... apparently need to explain and justify every single one of my opinions. i’ma blame the adhd. 

I have 2 main issues w/ the new air bender plot. a) the air Nomad religion/culture is pretty explicitly seen as a closed one and b) it’s sort of a cop-out.....

so... first:

 Air bending is pretty explicitly a huge part of the air nomad culture and religion and is extremely spiritual. bc of how religious and spiritual it is the idea of ppl just.... randomly being given it really rubs me the wrong way.

It’s really really hard for me to explain this or come up with an irl example, bc these ppl didn’t ask for air bending, or try to gain it in anyway. So it’s not really their fault. But to me it feels almost like accidental cultural appropriation? If that makes sense

Which like. cultural appropriation is obviously bad. Even in the comic I originally referenced (the promise) Aang is initally really really offended by the people practicing the air Nomad religion when he first finds out!!! Which he should be!!!

There’s a difference between cultural appropriation, culture appreciation, and sharing culture. The first is bad, and the second 2 are good when done correctly.

Ima use an irl example w/ Judaism just bc using this personal experiences is apparently the only way my brain knows how to explain things

Scenario 1: Amanda (who is xtian) decides to research the Jewish holiday of Passover and the traditions behind it just bc she’s interested in it

This is cultural appreciation! She’s just learning about smthn she finds interesting. This is generally ok! although in some cultures there is knowledge that you are not supposed to know or discuss if you are not part of that culture and you should 100% respect that if it is the case 

Scenario 2: Amanda learns about the Passover seder and decides to throw one herself

Dont fucking do this omfg. This is cultural appropriation. Passover is a super important and religions holiday! It’s one of the high holy days and celebrating it on her own isn’t ok! 

Scenario 3: Amanda asks her Jewish freind Alex if she can come to his Passover seder

This is cultural appreciation and cultural sharing!! It’s totally valid!! She respectfully asks to join in and be included! 

it’s diffrent from cultural apropriation for one huge reason. she is joining in, rather than celebrating it on her own with no jewish ppl present 

Scenario 4: Amanda eats gefitlefish just bc she likes it 

this is appreciation! even though there are no jewish ppl involved! bc gefiltefish isn’t a holy/religious/spiritual thing. 

different aspects of different cultures have different levels of importance. as a general rule, if smthn is holy/religious, you should not do anything with it, unless invited by someone of that culture. if it’s not then you can generally do it on ur own (though there is some grey area there. ie, moccasins are smthn that aren’t religious to native americans, but if ur not native you shouldn’t be producing and selling them. if you want moccasins by them from actual natives) 

scenario 5: amanda contacts a rabbi and starts the conversion process 

this is...... just conversion lol. when she is finished with the process (which can take months/years) she’ll no longer be xtian and be jewish!! just as much as anyone who was born into judiasm. she’ll be able to host her own seders and any of her children will be jewish as well :) 

sorry for the really long thing!!  but i felt it was necessary to show the difference between some concepts that seem similar but are actually vastly different!! 

anyway, i hope y’all understand the difference between cultural appropriation/appreciation/sharing. if ur asking urself “ok why does it matter tho” friendly reminder that alot of irl ppl have been murdered for trying to peacefully observe their cultures/religions :) 

including the air nomads! (hey segway...) 

they are literally hunted to extension because they are part of one culture/religion. you could argue it’s a racism thing (which it is) but race, culture, ethnicity and religion are all inherently tied. see: almost every non-xtian religion worldwide 

SO. when you consider that a) the nomads were killed for their religion b) airbending was incredibly significant part of that religion, isn’t it weird that random people who have 0 connection or interest in that religion suddenly have airbending?? 

again it becomes like accidental cultural appropriation. which you can’t really blame the characters for in-world

but, these aren’t real ppl. they’re characters in a situation that was written by real ppl, real ppl who can and should be criticized 

not that i’m trying to call the creators bigoted in anyway! this dosn’t seem like anything that was meant to be offensive. and it’s not really that offensive unless you think about it. to me it just seems like a plot point that wasn’t fully thought through. i don’t bring it up to shame the creators, just as a way to show others why it’s smthn not to be repeated 

and, to show a better way to do a similar story 

the reason i went so in depth w/ the explanation of cultural appropriation vs appreciation vs conversion is bc i wanna show why a different way of approaching a similar story would have been better

the reason i think my whole idea (of ppl basically contacting aang or the air nomads, converting to the religion, and then being gifted air bending through energy bending) is better than ppl being randomly gifted it is bc conversion takes work 

to convert to any culture or religion you a) need a connection to someone in that culture (usually made by reaching out to a religious leader) and b) need to actually be accepted by that group in order to be considered one of them. it takes work and dedication. it’s a literal transfer of culture!! it’s just... ack i’m not good at explaining it 

but dosn’t it make so much more sense that ppl who actually worked to integrate themselves into the culture and become one of them are givin airbending? not because it’s a privilege but bc they need to first become part of the culture in order to have any right or claim to it 

but by just giving it to random non-benders it’s basically the reverse!! yes they later learn the culture and religon, but???? thats not how that works??? wtf??? 

i feel like i’ve been talking in circles and i’m sorry if i’ve bored everyone to death but i hope u understand my point. 

anyway! next thing! (i swear this part will be way shorter) 

by just making a bunch of random ppl airbenders it basically retcons one of the longlasting effects of the 100 yr war and almost just... erases the impact of the air nomad’s genocide 

which. is gross and uncomfortable. genocide stories are touchy subjects and smthn that need to be treated with respect 

just giving random ppl airbending it’s almost like the genocide didn’t matter at all. which i take a huge fucking issue w/ ok and i don’t feel like i need to explain why 

instead of a natural rebuilding of the air nomads it’s just fixed with spirit magic. it’s just... an insult to the really compelling and well written genocide story that was in atla and an insult to the irl ppl who related to that story 

so. yeah.... again i’m not trying to call out the creators, i again think this plotline was more accidentally insulting than purposefully 

i already propsed a better way to do it by allowing converts to gain the ability to airbend. (hell it dosn’t even need to come from energy bending or aang. the air nomads were incredibly spiritual, maybe a spirit gifted it to the ppl who earned it instead of random fucking ppl) 

but the other reason that converts instead of just.... random ppl gaining the ability is better is bc there aren’t gonna be that many ppl to convert!! there’s not gonna be some sudden boom in the airbending population!! theres would still be a story of the nation slowly healing and rebuilfing itself instead of the insulting sudden magic fix

oof. sorry for the long freaking thing. i literally went into this just wanting to share an idea and instead spent over an hour analyzing this stuff lol.... 

i hope this was coherent but if anyone’s got questions about anything i said feel free to @ me or shoot me an ask :) as long as ur polite and stuff i’ll answer to the best of my ability 

#atla #airbending #atla meta #avatar tla #avatar #avatar the last airbender #aang #aang atla #atla worldbuilding #cultural appropriation #idk how to tag this also i am big tired #lok #genocide #tagging for blacklist #/ just in case

[nightworktobegin]

Long post? Ish ahead haha

Not to sound weird but i literally love hearing about jewish holidays. And learning jewish history and the such, my grandmother was jewish, but none of that was passed down, so i know nothing about it and was basically raised Christian LiteTM lol

But its something i feel more connected to? In a way? Like im not spiritual or religious at all, but out of every group that i feel most connected to i feel like its that one? Like.... im weirdly mixed lmao, my dads mom was a jewish morrocan married to a white man, and my moms a pale Colombian woman haha, so the genetics are strange lol

But... idk ive had a hard time trying to figure out my identity (like, ethnicity wise) bc i dont look like anything... but ironically.. im affected by jewish stereotypes???? Idk how to explain it but i look kinda like disneys mother gothel with straight hair if u get what i mean

And i hate seeing all the antisemitism in movies bc like... they all also happen to look like me lmao. I guess i think thats why i feel a closer to jewish stuff than any of the other things i could pick from

TLDR i look like disneys antisemitic villains and my grandmother was jewish and now i like learning about jewish things :) LOL

#sleep talk #i cant explain it??? #idk but yeah #will probably delete later lmao

[runrundoyourstuff]

Celadon & Malachite

(related to this post)

Thanks!

Celadon - Dream job? So, this is really probably not the answer that you were looking for, but I’m going to get on my soapbox for a minute here. Lately, I’ve been finding myself a bit skeptical of the concept of a “dream job.” Granted, I have only been in the workforce on a full-time basis for about a year--not even--so take this with that grain of salt, but:

I have things I like doing. I have fields I’m interested in. And I have things I want out of my life. 

And sometimes those three things don’t intersect well. 

For instance: I like to write. I love to tell stories. But I’m not sure I want to do those things for a living, because what if the pressure kills the joy of it? If I write to destress...what happens when writing and storytelling are the things I need to destress from? Is that my “dream job?” For instance: I’m interested in children’s television. I considered briefly (and even seriously explored some possibilities of) trying to break into this professionally, but in order to do that, it was looking like I was going to have to move to one of two cities that I really couldn’t see myself being happy in. Where I had no family. And, while the children’s media part seemed rad, I didn’t see myself happy working in the media industry more generally. So would that be my “dream job?”

For instance: I have a lot of really particular academic interests that make me think that I might like to go get a PhD in Learning Science and then try to become an academic researching and teaching on the intersections of storytelling, community, and education--particularly as it relates to development of empathy and emotional intelligence. I could see myself very deeply engaged in that work. But, if I became an academic, there are not so many academic jobs in any one particular field. If I were able to get one, the odds of me being able to be in a city I wanted to live in--near family, and with a robust Jewish community--are slim. Odds are, I would end up in a small town somewhere in the middle of the country, if I was lucky enough to get a job at all. So is that my “dream job?” And I really like the job I currently have. It sounds utterly unsexy on paper, but I get to connect with a lot of people, and I get to help them think about their educational goals. Sometimes I get to help them take the first steps toward meeting those goals. I also get to do some writing--not only individual emails, but also mass communications, even if it’s not the type of writing I do for fun. And I get to be in the proximity of a university, even if it’s in an administrative office. (Or, no office right now because I’m working from home!) Plus, I get to be in a city that I love, where I have friends and community. I’m not too far from my family. And I have a manager and a team that really unironically values work-life balance. Do I love my job every second of every day? No. Does it get tedious sometimes? Absolutely. Do I want to stay there forever? I don’t think so. But at the moment, I’m having a hard time imagining a better situation in terms of work. Is this my “dream job?” I don’t know. Probably not. But for now, I’m happy. I guess, my dream job isn’t really one particular job so much as it is a list of qualities. I want to connect with people in my job. I want to make a net positive change--even if it’s infinitesimal, even if it’s just on an individual level. It would be great if, in so doing, I get to do a little writing. I want to be able to be in one of a few particular cities, around family and friends. I want a job that will allow me to have the time to spend time with those family and friends, and one that will let me take off for Jewish holidays, and one that will let me feed myself. One that will let me have the life that I want to have outside of work...even as my conception of “the life I want to have” grows and changes. And if that job is something in the realm of education, then that would be awesome. 

Sorry, lol, I realize that was wayyyy more of an essay than you asked for.

Malachite - Do you speak more than one language?

The only language I’m fully fluent in is English, but I am proficient in Hebrew (as in, I can speak Hebrew well enough to order in a restaurant and explain dietary restrictions, and also to have a casual back and forth with someone on the bus or at a bar, but probably not well enough to understand a high-level academic lecture, or participate in a high level seminar discussion. Also, my spoken Hebrew is much better than my reading and writing, which is ironic, considering I spent two years at yeshiva!)

I used to also have limited proficiency in Yiddish (I studied three years of Yiddish in college,) and while it didn’t all go away, I haven’t used those skills in years, so they’re pretty rusty. (And sometimes, when I try to speak Yiddish now, Hebrew comes out--because I learned Hebrew more recently. This models something about a portion of the Ashkenazi Jewish experience in the latter half of the twentieth century... lol)

#asks #long post #job discourse #jewish tag

[harryseyebrows]

More parenting questions because we need specifics! Attachment parenting or cry it out? Baby wearing? Homemade baby food? Are any picky eaters? Do they introduce them to any religion? (I imagine Harry showing them all if anyone starts to ask questions) What stance will Jeff and Harry take on underage drinking or age of first cell phones? Who gives the birds and bees talk? Are they the cool house to hang out at for the teenagers? (Harry always has baked goods, Jeff has a killer vinyl collection)

i love you for this.

okay. so in terms of parenting style, it evolves from baby to baby. they had such a hard time getting pregnant with the twins that it makes them super protective once theyre born. harry is a bit more overbearing and neurotic, and not to say that jeff isnt just as scared and nervous, he’s just a bit more rational. they read the same books and know almost all of the same information, but when it comes down to it, harry often foregoes what most people and experts will tell you in favor of rushing down the hall if either twin so much as hiccups. jeff tries to reason with him and urge him to let them self soothe sometimes but its with very limited success. and jeff is kinda constantly battling with himself because he knows that harry is still spooked after the miscarriages (he is too) and when he forces harry to stay in the room and not run to them as soon as they cry, he sees how uncomfortable it makes harry, so he usually relents. however, harry relaxes over time. by the time the twins are around 6 months, he has other things to worry about, namely being pregnant again so soon, so he’s tired and cranky and swollen so letting the twins cry it out is sometimes the better option. he knows that he has a secure attachment with both twins and that they’re not lacking for anything, and that they’re both healthy and happy. with river, harry is significantly more relaxed, and by the time willow comes along, he and jeff are both old pros. 

BABY WEARING. if you think for one second that harry would not be ecstatic over the possibility of having his baby/babies strapped to him so he can walk around and show them off, even if its only at home and his only audience is the house plants, youre a CRAZY PERSON. harry loves a baby sling. jeff is less enthusiastic than harry but he’s still pretty psyched about it. even though when they take the twins out together, one baby per chest, they do look ridiculous. harry never gets tired of it, even after 4 kids. especially when theyre newborns. catch him doing laundry and dishes with his paisley printed baby scarf-sling on. DELIGHTFUL. 

homemade baby food. they try it just for shits when the twins are able to start solids but its a very short-lived project. too much mess. too expensive. store bought it just fine for them lol 

eli will eat whatever you put in front of him, but jude, harrys sweet, otherwise amicable little boy, is the one who goes through a phase where he proclaims ‘i dont like it’ to anything and everything. oddly enough, though, the things he will still eat are mostly healthy, like cubed fruit and baby carrots. however, he’s still a big fan of mac and cheese, but staunchly refuses to eat dino-shaped nuggets, to which eli usually looks at harry and jeff as if he’s saying ‘more for me, right?’ river is easy, too. a little human garbage disposal. harry has had to stop him from trying to eat a banana peel more than he’d like to admit. willow isnt quite as easy as river but she’s pretty close. all of the azoff children have very broad palates, thanks to harry and his adventurous cooking. jeff and harry also like to very very hands-on with the kids eating experiences -- they dedicate one night a week to having the kids help them with dinner. harry also likes to bake with them quite a bit. how many 4 years old do you know that have baked a lemon tart?

as far as religion goes, the kids are raised with ~blended religions ie jewish and christian (i did some research on it, and much like any other polarizing topic, there are a lot of people who claim that it has to be a hard left of right, one or the other, but if you dig a bit past the more sensationalized articles, you can find some info on people who were raised with two faiths and turned out just fine -- its finding a balance and respecting the holidays and traditions of both -- as well as explaining things just as you would if you were raising them with one faith. if given the room to explore both and come to their own decisions, it can actually be very valuable and healthy **also worth noting that i myself am not a religious person but i know its important to a lot of people). jeff and harry do their best to keep things clear and distinct but also make sure that the kids dont feel alienated or distant from either side. they dont force anything on them -- the kids are free to say no to certain things, and they both do their best to answer questions and such, so its not super strict, but more of a ‘its there if you want it’ type of situation. the kids also think its very special that they get to celebrate Hanukkah and christmas 

as neurotic as harry was when they were little, once the kids are older, he’s the more lax one when it comes to certain things ie drinking, pot, tattoos, etc. he’s pro ‘if youre gonna drink id rather you do it in the house than at a party’ so when the boys are 18/19, they’re allowed to have a beer or a glass of wine if they want it, as long as harry takes their keys. he knows that if you make something super off limits, its gonna make it that much more tempting when he’s not around to say no. thats why when river is 6 and asks what beer tastes like, harry lets him have a super tiny sip and is amused when river spits it out immediately, but less amused when he spits it out back into the bottle. jeff is a bit more strict and would prefer that they dont do it at all, but he respects harrys policies and kinda grins and bears it. 

jeff does the birds and the bees because harry is banned from talking about anything sex-related around the kids per their own request, simply because he’s super embarrassing and they hate it lmao sometimes he sits down and watches those shitty daytime talk shows, the one with the doctors as a panel, and he learns some random ass info about penile health and the next thing you know he’s bringing it up at breakfast only to be met with a chorus of ‘shut upppp dad, oh my GOD’ jeff is way more chill and easy to talk to, and the kids dont mind when he tells them because they can see that he’s just as uncomfortable as they are, eager to have it done and over with, as opposed to the theatrics they know theyd get with harry (probably some pseudo guidance counselor nonsense where he’d act placid and calm and stare at them with his laser beam focus, radiating ‘you can tell me anything’ vibes that would make them want to wither away. there’d be hand gestures and a condom demonstration with a banana, a lecture on embracing your sexuality but being careful and safe. NO THANKS, says all 4 kids)

and you are absolutely correct, other kids and teenagers seem to love going to the hazoff household, even though the actual hazoff kids dont know why. one of their dads is a complete goof (and totally embraces it) and the other is significantly more chill but also prone to being nerdy and embarrassing (harry tries to impress under the guise of being casual, whereas jeff is always ready to bust out naked baby pictures while simultaneously be the ~cool one). there are always cookies or some type of loaf cake on the counter and ready to be eaten, and jeff is always working on some new sound or projection system for movies. its just a really nice, open environment where anyone who steps into their house is accepted with open arms. unless they’re rude or mean. then harry is mildly passive aggressive but otherwise still civil. only once that person leaves does he mutter something about ‘well they weren’t very nice’ 

#hazoff abo #Anonymous

[spaceorphan18]

Finding Kurt Hummel: Previously Unaired Christmas

Masterpost

5x08: Previously Unaired Christmas

Look - it’s no secret that I am not a fan of this episode.  It still makes my stomach twist a little for reasons that I can’t entirely articulate (and I suspect are far more personal than any real issue the episode presents).  I know people are split on either loving this episode or hating this episode - maybe doing this will help me figure out what’s really going on.  

I, personally, have two issues with the whole thing. (The second one I’ll explain within the narrative of the episode.)  The first is that it does kind of feel like an FU to pretty much everyone.  I don’t necessarily think it’s to the fans explicitly (though the stuff with Kurt kinda feels like that), but in general, I’m guessing they were forced into a holiday episode that they didn’t really want to do by the network.  Because more so, the nastiness towards Christmas feels like that.  

I also have to wonder if Cory’s passing plays a small part.  I mean - this is cracky Glee - it’s been cracky Glee for a while now.  We just had an episode about puppets, twerking, and dressing up in bizarre Lady Gaga outfits.  The show has been kind of off the rails for most of season 5, and this episode almost feels like the climax of that (after the break - things feel a little more...normal?)  

Anyway - I don’t know exactly how we ended up here - but I kind of wish that Glee didn’t end it’s Christmas run on a, well, whatever this note is.  

Oh! And one last thing.  At this point - season six was not shortened.  I wonder if they had another, more heartfelt, Christmas episode idea for their final one.  Hmmm.  

What If

We open with Jane Lynch talking about how this was a secret hidden away episode.  And I’m bringing it up because this whole set up seemed to confuse everyone.  No - this was most definitely not a lost episode, nor do I think it’s any more or less controversial than anything else they did on the show.  (I do think the writers didn’t give a flying fuck - and were warning about that...)  

However, this whole intro does seem to make things confusing.  Yes - it’s set in season 4.  Yes - I’ll bet they did, at some point, come up with the Rough Trade Santa thing the previous year, and just discarded it until now.  However, shout out to @ckerouac for bringing up the point that -- if Glee wanted to go cracky, they could have gone so much further.  I mean if you’re going to go AU - why not do something entirely wacky.  They kind of did in Glee, Actually with Artie’s fantasy.  So, I’m kind of in agreement.  Why bring it back to season 4 (other than you have newbies you have to deal with).  Why not shoot it into the future, or just switch everyone’s bodies again.  Glee can go that extra mile, why not?  Who knows.  

Meanwhile - I need to state that this did not happen in the main timeline.  It could have (sort of - there are so many continuity errors that it hurts my head).  But it did not.  This is completely AU.  And really, I could skip it if I really wanted to.  I’m going through it just the same because a) for completeness sake - it’d bother me if I didn’t, b) there are some interesting Kurt-meta points that I think are worth bringing up.  

That long winded, probably unnecessary preamble aside - here we go. 

Grandma Moses

So.  We open on the New York side with Santana crashing at the loft, buying Kurt weird doll heads and tickets to Dildo island.  (Are we being edgy yet - the writers ask? Just you wait ;))  Okay, so this scene kind of sets up what the whole New York act is supposed to be about.  It seems they want to address two specific things about Kurt (that I have at least seen in criticisms, and I’m pretty sure the writers did, too)  -- a) That he didn’t have enough of a “normal teenage reaction” to his break up with Blaine and b) that Kurt is an old grandma, desexualized gay.  

Well.  Glee being in its FU mode is going to rectify that - just not in the way that’s going to satisfy anyone (I shouldn’t generalize - I know there are people who love this episode, my regards).  

And - in a FWIW thought, Kurt is an old grandma.  He always has been.  That’s just part of the make up of the character.  

The point, however, of Santana’s little monologue of exposition here is to set the stage for what’s going to happen in the rest of the episode.  It reminds me of the Tattooo Guy in The End of Twerk - telling Kurt that if he’s going to go nuts, he has to go all out.  

[2 asides - 1. Santana is also getting rewritten break up stuff (I’m guessing in response to criticism), as they seem to retcon a ton about the Brittana break up.  2. This whole story seems to be a commentary about Kurt specifically, and not really about Blaine?  Blaine seems to be fine this entire episode - though he’s barely shown because he’s off screen with some weird yule log obsession ;)]  

Meanwhile - Rachel has gotten them all jobs as elves at the mall.  Which - I suppose makes sense.  Oh! And weirdly enough - there’s no discussion from Rachel about her own break up with Finn (which makes sense because of Cory), or about Brody, or Cassie, or any of the stuff that happened to Rachel in season 4.  Weird, right? Nah, she’s just a backdrop to the Kurt and Santana stuff.  I will say - Rachel saying that she’ll be the best Jewish Elf ever made me laugh. 

Bad Santa

Ah, the one highlight of the episode - Chris Kurt in that elf costume.  It was like he was born to play an elf.  Lol 

Anyway - they get to the mall, and Santa’s late, and drunk.  (Not really here for bad santa - but his line about them in an ‘equity card’ mindset had me laughing.)  So, of course Rachel takes charge and they try to calm the audience with Here Comes Santa Claus. It’s -- perfectly fine.  In general, I find the music of the episode, with the exception of Love Child, somewhat uninspired.  Oh, right, this is a musical show, we have to have music.  Here’s a Christmas song.  

Of course, at the end, the kids aren’t charmed - they throw crap at them.  Yeah - we totally didn’t see this happen in season 2.  

I have read some meta about how Kurt, Rachel, and Santana are stand-ins for the writers here -- that whatever they do, it’s gonna get crap thrown at them.  (The thought is echoed at the end, too)  Oh! I have lots of thoughts on this, but I should probably save it for another post, cause it’s not really about Kurt.  

So -- the next day? Later that day? Santana goes and takes a bath...in the loft? I have no idea what the time line is.  I haven’t watched the Lima side of this episode since it aired.  Anyway, Kurt and Rachel call her up and beg her to help them.  Santana gives another obligatory joke about Kurt being an old grandma - born to play Mrs. Claus.  (Um, Santana - I think we’ve established that Kurt was born to be that Elf.)  

Oh - this still says so much....

Santana arrives as Mrs. Claus and proceeds to be a bitch to little people under ten.  Kurt and Rachel rightfully look horrified.  Sorry.  I don’t like this sequence.  It’s mean spirited and awful.  I don’t think it’s funny when adults are mean to innocent kids.  Moving on...

And....then we have the arrival of “Sexy Santa” Cody.  (Dude - this guy is totally skeevy to me -- who arrives at a mall without a shirt? But whatever)  And the rest of this plot line gets played out like half baked smutty fanfiction.  

I will say this -- I do think all of this is completely in character for Kurt.  Remember Ricky Martin in season 3?  This is essentially the same reaction from Kurt.  Kurt finds lots of guys attractive -- and he is allowed to react to it.  (And we’re in cracky mode - this is totally played up for laughs, in the same way it was when Ricky Martin guest starred.) 

This is also not one of my issues with the episode. 

Anyway - Cody wants to “get to know” his elves before he helps them.  Ew.  Kurt those abs are clouding your judgment, buddy. 

That Godawful Chipmunk Song

Santana once again reminds Kurt that he’s a stick in the mud and convinces him to spike his own eggnog.  And then Cody arrives.  Again.  Shirtless.  **rolls eyes**  And obviously scoping out the place so he can rob it.  Maybe that’s part of the reason I can’t really get on board with Kurt hooking up with him.  Cause it’s obvious that this guy is gross and going to be bad.  Yuck. 

Anyway, we all know what a light weight Kurt is - and within a few sips of cooking sherry and eggnog, he’s all flirty mcdrunk pants.  

So - this whole Chipmunk thing - in bulletted form because my brain is currently working better that way... 

I, personally, think this song is dumb.  Sorry.  

It creates this super weird adult/kid vibe between Cody and the loftmates, which I find uncomfortable.  

Cody is obviously playing this all up because he’s going to rob them - which makes his actions later really awful.  

Trashed Kurt with anyone else (especially Blaine, but anyone really) would have been hilarious in just about any other context.  

Chris, obviously, had a lot of fun filming this - so I’ll let him have that.  

The point where SO goes on her diatribe - so feel free to skip

Oh, where to start.  

1. Cody is taking advantage of a incredibly drunk, barely legal teenager in order steal from him. I don’t think the writers put a whole lot of thought into it -- other than saying ‘hey, we can make Kurt a sexual creature’, but I do think it was kind of in bad taste. 

2.  I wasn’t personally offended by it - but there were a lot of people who were (especially when it gets to the being tied up, and Kurt telling Cody no), and a lot of people telling them to get over it because it was cracky glee.  The whole hoopla over that in fandom has always left a bad taste in my mouth.  

3. Gross Cody stuff aside, no I don’t think this is out of character for Kurt.  Kurt’s in a bad place about breaking up with Blaine -- and after being pushed by Santana hard enough, having enough alcohol in him, and being presented with the opportunity, Kurt’s trying to get out of his shell a bit and enjoy himself.  He’s perfectly right to do so, and I do think it makes sense that someone going through a hardship like a rough break up with a first love would try something new -- especially being a first time college student with no limitations. 

4. What about “you matter” and baby penguin Kurt?  Well - first of all, I don’t think Kurt has ever been a baby penguin, and I’m going to spend a lot of the second half of season 5 talking about Kurt being very much a sexual being.  I also think that Kurt does and will always be particular about sex -- again, the writers had to get Kurt incredibly drunk and in a very specific situation for this to even present itself.  I don’t think it’s that Kurt can’t (or won’t) have casual sex, but more so that it means more to him when it’s with someone he loves.  Had this not been a throwaway episode intent on being offensive and cracky, that thought might have been explored. 

5. It cracks me up that they kind of even half-assed Kurt being a sexual being.  Sure, Cody’s half naked in-between Kurt’s legs.  It’s more of a slight of hand, though.  The kissing is a) cut away from very quickly, and b) barely kissing (the first part when Santana and Rachel come in isn’t really even kissing - it’s like stage kissing, where you kiss their cheek, it looks like making out, but it’s not).  The whole thing looks way more provocative than it really is. 

6. I do think it’s unfortunate that they didn’t let Kurt be this provocative and flirty (and handsy) with anyone else on the show.  I do think Kurt has hotter moments (with Blaine - in various episodes, I can name them for you if you like).  But the whole being overtly sexual and gay and somewhat naked is limited throughout the show (this goes for Brittana, too, for that matter, and even the Quinn/Santana hook up - they were mostly covered and a good four feet from each other on that bed). 

6B. As an aside, though -- Glee doesn’t do overtly sexual very often, and nearly every time they do it’s for comedy.  It makes me wonder if there was some kind of limitations in general.  I mean, Finchel never got a mostly naked sex scene either - though Blaine and Brittany did -- for comedy.  

7. I do think there’s an interesting story about season 4 Kurt dealing with his break up -- which would have included more intimate moments with Adam, and/or other people.  But that wasn’t the story they chose.  

7B. I do think, ultimately, this was the writers saying - well we could have written that story - but we prefer the one we are doing.  I think it’s in part of the whole FU thing they were going for.  I mean, even for people who wanted to see Kurt get more action -- he’s going to get punished for it in a sec, so even that feels like a bit of an FU.  

Moving on... the next morning Santana and Rachel wake up to find that they’ve been robbed and Kurt is tied up.  

Kurt does say that when he said no to a sexual thing - Cody got aggressive and tied him up.  That is leaning on sexual assault there, show.  Again - I’m not personally offended, but I also don’t think it’s funny either.  

Oh, as an aside I want to mention the whole thrown in joke there about Kurt being sexy to kiss because it’s like he has no kiss (geez, is it just me or is there a blow job joke in there somewhere?) it is a comment on Chris’s physical attributes.  So, calm down people when we get to Santana’s rant in season six.  Every character gets pot shots about their looks. It’s part of being an actor in general.    

Go Feel Shame

It’s...the next day? And Kurt’s talking to Santana (seeming much more Kurt like than the rest of the episode) about how he just wanted to let loose and feel better.  (Well, alcohol rarely helps with that kiddo - but it’s a lesson nonetheless.)  It’s interesting that he says he feels ashamed (he shouldn’t - but I can see why he would).  And he also doesn’t want Blaine to know, ever.  (An odd comment for something that is an AU)  

I do understand some people’s thoughts that they wished Kurt had had a better experience about letting loose a little (and in some ways he did -- I mean that was what The End of Twerk was about).  And I agree in that not every poor decision in your life needs to be met with shame and being robbed.  

But I do think it’s also Glee’s way of saying - hey, we did hear you - and we’re going to continue to tell the story our way.  

They all look really lovely in this scene.  Rachel has a new gig for them - singing behind a wall of glass.  

It’s the fourth wall -- Kurt, Santana, and Rachel are the writers again.  It’s probably better that they stay there for their own safety.  But also - this episode is what happens when that wall is broken down between creators and fandom - a weird mess of....whatever this is.  

Oh! One last final side thought -- no, there’s no Klaine duet.  That doesn’t bother me within the context of this story - it wouldn’t have made sense anywhere.  That said, I’m sorry they didn’t get a final duet.  I think Winter Wonderland would have been a nice conclusion for them.  Let’s take a moment and lament that there was no season six Christmas episode to end on a high note with. 

Time to move on to the regular story at hand.  

#finding kh #kurt hummel #well -- that was theraputic #hopefully I can put this episode behind me now that I've said what I wanted to say #and I feel like I tried to be diplomatic about it

[flawedinthefantasy]

long updates

helloooooo.

it’s october 1 and there are three months left in 2017. i’ll do my usual end of year recap of course but it’s been an interesting year. these last few weeks have been a little topsy turvy. i crammed for my last 2 exams and didn’t do well on them, especially the last one. which was upsetting because that particular class was my strongest when i was a MS student. after that, i decided that it was time to get myself together. we had a 5 day weekend last week due to the jewish holidays so as soon as our last class ended, i sprang into action. picked up a few things from walmart, cleaned my messy room, finally did my dry ass hair, did my laundry, and caught up on a lot of lectures. i’m still not perfect and i struggled these last few days but there’s been a vast improvement. 

i really want to kill school, not just because i feel like i have to but because i know i can. my classmates aren’t smarter than me but i’m lazier than them and that’s a real problem. i’m just now realizing how much of a role that my mental health plays in everything i do. when i feel sad and ugly and lonely, i stay in my room and binge on food and avoid my lectures. at the end of the day, it only hurts me. when i’m feeling good, i take my medicine, i do my work, i eat better, i feel better. i deserve to feel good. 

in the months before getting into medical school, i remember being so angry at God. it felt like He hadn’t given me anything I wanted..so much so, that even after i got accepted, i still found it very difficult to pray. it took MONTHS for me to get it together, i’m ashamed to say. even here at school, being in the middle of nowhere, not having anything to do, feeling so different from my classmates..i asked God why He put me here of all places. it was very tough. but i’m getting closer to God again, i think it just had to take time. i was listening to my beloved Elevation worship music a few days ago...thinking about how many times i listened to the same music driving to my shitty job..wondering when i would get accepted to medical school. i remember crying so hard in the parking lot of my job listening to a particular song because i was so heartbroken and so sad. how quickly i forgot about those times, how ungrateful i’ve been. i’m here in med school now and i’m still complaining. God has seen me through so much and while i may not like it, His timing and will truly beat my own. 

next! it seems like almost everyone around me is in a relationship. my old roommate got engaged yesterday and i’m genuinely so happy for her. living with her was a turning point for me: in those first 5 months of 2015, i went back to church on my own volition and began my own relationship with God, started working out seriously, taking care of my skin, started realizing who I was a woman..alot of them stemmed from the hours long convos she and i would have. she too is a survivor of childhood sexual abuse and it makes me so happy to see that she’s found someone who she loves. my best friend is dating a really nice guy and i’m thrilled for her too. i’m actually surprised that i’m not even the least bit jealous lol. i think it’s because i know these two women very well and i know what they’ve been through and i know that they deserve good things. i also think it’s because i know right now would not be a good time to have a man in my life. i still have some work to do, i’m in the baby stages of organizing myself and my emotions and my mental state. men will just confuse that. but i’m definitely open to it in the near future.

and speaking of men...L and I were supposed to get drinks and finally talk last weekend when i had all of those days off. i still haven’t told him that i’m not in the city and i won’t tell him until i feel like it. last month he’d asked if i was free and i pushed it back to september for many reasons but mainly because i was never expecting to see him again and i’ve gained weight and i just didn’t wanna deal with it. a few weeks ago, i realized i still didn’t wanna see him face to face so i suggested maybe we talk on the phone. he never responded and i became quite fed up. i texted him a few weeks later and told him that i was gonna give him what he wanted and let the whole thing go. that clearly he was still as immature and shady as he was 2 years ago and i deserved better than that, even as a “platonic friend”. that i deserved better than to be consistently ignored and thrown to the wayside last year. and that i can’t force him to be a good man so just forget it. the thing is..i actually meant it this time. after the CG thing, i realized that i don’t need superficial tethers to any of these men for any reason. i took the heart emoji out of his contact page in my phone and i deleted the little note i had dedicated to things that reminded me of him. and i just moved on.

of course, days later he texted me back out of nowhere saying that he did want to get together and he’d been very busy and he had family issues going on but he was back in the city and wanted to get drinks. the thing about a man who’s lied to you before is that you never know when he’s telling the truth. i said i hoped everything was okay with his family and that it was too soon to meet and i didn’t know if having him as a “friend” was a good thing so we’ll play it by ear and i’ll reach out when i’m comfortable. he said he was fine with that and i should have a nice week. i’m very proud of myself for being firm and putting my foot down on his bullshit. i have no problem just walking away now, which is good because i really used to struggle with that. i don’t want to see him just yet because i know that i’ll be overwhelmed by everything..his physical attractiveness, everything he represents, etc. i just want to get myself together before involving anyone else in my life. 

next..my hair. i’ve been wearing my hair natural for the last 6 weeks or so. it was really dry and unmanageable and just not what it used to be. plus i felt like after big chopping 7 years ago, i should have a lot more length than i have. so i did a bunch of research and ordered a bunch of products. my regimen is still a little shaky because i’m trying to be low manipulation and figure things out. i’m using some ayurvedic products: a henna mask that i’ll do every other week, some hair growth oil with a bunch of herbs, and a tea rinse. the tea rinse is very drying so i need to figure out when in my regimen i should use it. i love the oil, it congeals when it’s cool so i use it as a hot oil treatment a few times a week. i pre-poo with a product from The Mane Choice..their products are expensive but worth it, my hair always feels soft. i shampoo only once using Lotta Body shampoo that smells terrific and always leaves my hair soft. i use the LB conditioner while i’m in the shower then i deep condition with my heat cap afterwards. i’ve come to realize that i have low porosity hair which means i need to deep condition with heat to open up my hair shaft. that also explains why products would just sit on my hair after a few days. once i rinse out the deep conditioner, i apply some sort of leave in and use another mane choice product on my ends. i’ve only been doing this for a week and a half but my hair feels noticeably softer. i’m going to continue with this until i go home for christmas break and get my hair braided. my goal is by the end of next year, i’ll have strong and thick hair that hits my bra strap. 

finally, food/weight. i was supposed to go to NJ tomorrow for my next VSG weigh in but i have an exam and i really don’t feel like making that drive so i rescheduled for friday. i wanted to lose 10 pounds and i definitely haven’t so idk if i’ll even keep that appointment. part of me truly just wants to lose the weight on my own. i don’t really feel like driving over an hour from school and i’ll have a few more trips to make. plus i haven’t told my dad about any of this and i know it’ll be a bit of a struggle. and i don’t want to do it without them knowing. i feel like i can do this on my own but i’ve failed so many times. my relationship with food is just so bizarre, so...unnatural. it’s something i’m going to actively pray about because i really do want to get rid of this weight for good. it won’t help me at all when i start rotations in 2 years and the time is going to fly by. yesterday i ate a whole pot of hamburger helper by myself in one sitting and i felt so terrible for most of the day. i ended up going to the gym at 9pm and that was a painful experience, indeed. i really miss being fit and i’m going to do everything in my power to get back to that. 

i owe it to myself to get all aspects of my health in order. i’ve worked too hard for everything to just fall to shit. 

#L #updates