#u are actually just mentally ill

[saetoru]

what an absolutely abysmal individual

#like seriously #this post has been circulating on dash for a while now and i’m over it honestly bc idc if random ppl w no faces on the internet think #my selfship w gojo is weird #but fr the way they are like stay off ao3 and stay in a shameful corner of the internet #yn is not creative but oc’s are 💀 #as if some oc’s aren’t just yn with a random name slapped on bc they’re projections of the author #but more than that #if u are this delusional from hatred that you think ppl should just not be allowed on a certain site or on the internet bc u don’t like it #u are actually just mentally ill #like concerningly unwell in the head and u should seek some help bc u are too invested in online culture #to the point that it’s pathetic rly #get a life #a hobby !! #maybe ur place on the internet reblogging supernatural gifs in 2023 is the real cringe part babe like #that show long lost its peak 💀

[fisheito]

Me: Everything i make is garbage i shouldn't even bother

The eiden in my head:

Me: Sorry eiden you're right my efforts have value

#any time i feel down about the act of creation #actually. any time i feel this way about... saying words in public too #when i'm typing up a comment anywhere on this site and the internal narration is constantly trying to stop me #with LOUD whispers of No one cares!! or even worse... people actively do not want to know ur thoughts!!! zip them fingerlips!!!!!! #during moments of struggle like this #i summon eiden like the powerful support assist he is #into my battle against myself #hey if he can fix kuya he can definitely fix me 😂 #he is a stellar therapist for the clan. so strong. how does he do it #a new coping mechanism!! next time you feel down about your work #imagine you're one of eiden's clan members #exhibiting Mental Illness #and he just gives u that empathetic loving look. with some weird combo of words that makes u feel infinitely better #love u eiden u damaged sweetheart ty for the cbt #eiden

[petrichor-moss-and-lightning]

having adhd (or just generally being forgetful) is so fucking frustrating because you’ll lose something you literally just had in your hand and then proceed to go on a 45 minute quest to find said lost thing. meanwhile, you’re both the detective and the suspect, just trying to follow clues and patterns that make no sense. i’ll lose something, then grab my brain by the collar and go, “where tf is my charger. u just had it”. and my brain will just be like:

#actually adhd #adult adhd #attention deficit disorder (add) #attention deficit hyperactivity disorder #object permanence #forgetfulness #I hate it so much I have to hunt through clues as though it’s not my own brain and my own lack of object constancy #some nts will be like aw adhd is so cute and quirky meanwhile I’m fist fighting my hippocampus and defective dopamine receptors in an arena #adhd is in no way cute or quirky I break down crying on the regular bc it’s just so incredibly frustrating to not be able to remember #if u romanticize mental illness or neurodivergency I will steal all your bones

[underestimated-heroine]

"name ONE OTHER artist who's been actually, emotionally honest about the toxic, unfair, real reasons a relationship was doomed from the start?!"

girl, be fr

#posts i actually wrote #taylor swift hate #anti taylor swift #i'm sorry but wtf #i'll do you one better i'll name 10 who didn't out their exes' mental illnesses #starting with Gordon Lightfoot and ending with V V Brown #no you know what i'll just go ahead and name the other eight now. Elle King. Pixie Lott. Olivia Rodrigo. Halestorm. Adele. #The fucking Jonas Brothers. Passenger. Lianne La Havas. Camila Cabello #there u go i even made it white girl heavy/white girl friendly

[lets-go-hurt-someone]

The best thing for me about the Dark Urge origin was being like, wow, okay, so I can play a character I totally relate with: a literal piece of shit crafted by a vile and cruel god to be hated by everyone and plagued by migraines, anxiety, and the most heinous intrusive thoughts known to man! He’s mentally ill and had a very problematic youth he’s probably better off just fucking deleting, just like me!

And then the game bonks you on the head and goes, “Nope. No one is inherently evil. So what if you used to eat babies, you didn’t know any better then and now you’re trying. You still deserve love and grace and a chance at peace. Sorry! Deal with it! Stop hating yourself! Here’s a smorgasbord of hotties to choose from who are going through the same thing!”

Fuck I love this game. It’s so much cheaper than therapy.

#a heartfelt thank u to Dr. Larian Studios PsyD lmao #I actually didn’t intend for any of my durges to be self inserts but welp #durge is just such a great metaphor for mental illness or at least how I experience it that I couldn’t help identifying a bit #dark urge #bg3 #bg3 dark urge #baldur's gate 3 #bg3 durge #tw: mental illness #durge #baldurs gate 3 #baldur’s gate 3 #bg3 meta #the dark urge

[inkskinned]

i've been in pretty much constant pain for the past 4 months. i have a slipped disc. the mri this weekend finally confirmed what i'd already suspected. mostly, i just put up with it.

i've been in a pretty bad mental space since winter began. my brain is leaking out from between my ears. i just don't care enough to listen to the rabid wet whispering of hope. i'm mostly just bored of being here, the swaddled joyless apathy.

the back pain ebbs and flows, but it's there, so i take care of it. i do my physical therapy. i get in with a specialist. i'm lucky - there's no immediate need for surgery. it's bad, but it could be worse. when i talk about how i did it (it was a very bad sneeze), i usually start laughing. it's funny! i am never comfortable, but hey. i'm young. i'll bounce back, or so they keep saying.

i just found out it's not normal to wake up every night with a category-five panic attack. i'm lucky if i am still able to remember how to spell my name right. i spend my days in a weird blank haze, exhausted, desperate for respite - only to be unable to rest during the night. i say with a laugh - i really hate it when my mental illnesses start working together. i mean, sure. unionize. it's fine. i have lost all sense of myself. there's nowhere that's actually warm in my mind.

i feel bad how often i complain about my back. my friends immediately shush my apology. dude, you slipped a disc. continue complaining.

as a kid, i think i only really admitted to the bad things... twice. for some reason, when he didn't just dismiss it - it made my dad angry. he slammed a door at me. you're fucking ungrateful. what do you have to be sad for?

what an odd delight: the slipped disc gave me the oddest wave of relief. i'm allowed to actually hurt about this thing.

i have chronic conditions which aren't "real" things. i could write a novel on the weird ways people respond to my POTS & the rest of my fun physical acronyms. i am kind of ashamed to admit - i like the way it feels to be able to say well, because of a slipped disc. a slipped disc is a real thing. a slipped disc is serious and painful. there's diagrams and infographics about slipped discs. upon my diagnosis, they immediately offered me narcotics.

i haven't been able to get up out of bed for more than a few hours. i do less and less and less and less. i have started to sit down in the shower. sighing my way from deadline to deadline. this again. in one day and out the other. people tell me i don't really need my meds. i have run out of times saying i have depression, it's become almost transparent. it's so bad my therapist suggested meeting more than once a week, but i don't want to worry her, so i never finish setting up a second meeting. every creative spark in my soul has been entirely ravaged - but that's just capitalism, baby. i don't even take the day off of work. i just show up and do a bad job and get yelled at for it.

it's not real, after all. the pain is just imagined.

#spilled ink #warm up #is this clear? #i have chronic pain & illnesses which i will not be discussing on this blog #and i will say that the way i'm treated about those is often just as bad #but since i don't have the room to give it justice on this post #it's ... about that weird sensation of... #''oh this is a real thing that actually hurts people'' #when u have spent ur life in pain and being told that pain isn't real #feeling like you are '''allowed''' to finally ACTUALLY feel pain #that sense -- oh thank god it's actually bad #idk maybe im a bad person #but sometimes i do like to write about. the actual symptoms of mental illness #and sometimes the Illnesses Do Make Me Think Bad Thoughts #so if this is weird just tell me i'll bring it up w/my therapist ig

[lil-vibes]

need me a fem! skk ballet and/or figure skater au so bad yall dont understand

#my mental illness is hitting and i think this will cure it #been spinning it in my head #imagine fem!chuuya in these beautiful outfits doing jumps and spins and being all graceful in the air IMAGINE it rn this is a threat #and my fav girl failure dazai being like :OOO n thinking thats my future wife up there !! #or dance duo skk grrrgrrrr #n the way the public catches on that there is something going on is bc when one wins first place they run straight to the other to #give them the medal or trophy #and ofc they r like 'just so u know who is better' and they they make out in the changing rooms #broooooooo i need i need this so bad #figure skater fem!skk au call that shit yuri on ice #... wait a second #bsd #skk #fem!skk #pebbles (me) ramblers #i need this so badly 😭😭😭 #honestly wasnt uuuuh the other side of paradise (?) chuuya a dancer ?? gotta check #gotta finish the fic actually #o7 mission received me im going

[rebellum]

I feel like... Perhaps... Arguing that transphobia is defined by murder and that anything other than murder doesn't even matter... May NOT be conducive to fighting for trans rights.

Like... people want the right to exist as they are. They want to have access to hrt and surgeries and prosthetics. People want access to clothes that fit them and reflect how they want to be seen. People want access to medical care (eg. Getting screened and treated for sex-based forms of cancer can be impossible if you have the "wrong" sex listed to receive those tests). People want to be respected and treated well. People want to not be sexually assaulted and beaten and abused. People want to have access to housing and jobs, and the protection to not lose those things for being trans. People want access to shelters for homeless people or survivors of domestic abuse. People want name changes.

Acting like all of those things don't matter because at least they weren't murderered by an individual (and instead die of suicide or state violence, or survive and suffer) isn't okay.

#'hey people are forcibly detransitioning you and raping and beating you and you lost your job and are going to be homeless and #probably die of infection from being stabbed for trying to go to the bathroom. but at least you arent part of a demographic that has a #higher murder victim rate! shhh just ignore that we dont actually have data on the murder rate of your group.' #do ppl like. forget state based violence exists. and that thats most violence minorities face. #idk man im just. mad about people on here acting like youre only oppressed if youre a perisex trans woman who was AMAB. #cause i exist at the intersection of multiple minorities and being told hey u experience violence but at least you wont be murdered by an #individual feels like a slap in the face. #like it doesnt matter if i have to mask my neurodivergent behaviour bc if people see they could assume im on drugs and call the police and #i could potentially be really hurt but not die but hey at least i wont die just be horrifically traumatized by police brutality! #there are millions of people with mental illnesses similar to my own around the world who are institutionalized and forcibly medicated or #living on the streets or dependant on horrifically abusive caregivers #but hey at least they arent being murdered! #like. the way the transphobia discussion on tumblr rn discusses (and doesnt discuss) race and ability and class and health makes me #feel very invisible. #like if people had to choose who to believe about my experiences between listening to me a black/mixed mentally ill maybe disabled (used to #be disabled) hella nd trans nonbinary person #or listen to a white middle class trans woman's take on my experiences that theyd choose her. its such a weird weird microcosm. #its like a monkeys paw like people are finally listening to trans fems and finally recognising the violence they experience and finally #actually caring about them but for some reason decide that in order to do that its necessary to throw every other minority under the bus #like fuck man have you seen how 'anti transandrophobia truthers' discuss race? its NOT okay #we all matter we all are so similar and are part of the same groups and same communities we need to stick together #stop using trans fems as a battering ram to hurt other minorities challenge #cause like. yes its some trans fems. but its mostly NOT? #like its non trans fems telling other non trans fems that they arent oppressed #and even when many trans fems are like what the fuck dude of course other trans ppl matter whats wrong with you #the group of like 80% non trans fems 20% trans fems are like 'hmm if you are defending other trans people you must not really be trans fem' #like. denying trans fems their identity bc they disagree with them?? dude someone doesnt stop being a trans fem cause they recognise #people other than trans fems matter and exist #its just all so WEIRD its a weird little tumblr microcosm #i wanna stress. for those of you who dont have access to other lgbtq+ communities. how much it seems to be primarily a tumblr thing. to

[kreachvera]

my son he has 73 diseases and turned evil .

pwab au zappa. pwabba if you will

#the circumstances of the ghosts stays the same in dis au #i think that his thought progression on Oh God Why Is This Happening To Me stayed the same as well #but instead of seeking out just Faust #he tries to find anyone who can understand this and help him #ofc he did this canonly as well but to various superstition from the results #so!!! #cue: an experienced doctor with 10(+?) years of paranormal research under his belt #crow at least has like. scientce to explain it #even if he’s totes wrong about some parts of S-Ko (looks at the PEAB entry that calls her a mental parasite) #but ah well. #ofc crow would have to be less of a freak. or else we get a repeat of her interaction with zappa in his route. erm…. #crow if he was actually helpful would be soooo beneficial to . everyone….. oh well there are other doctors #(love u faust) #anyways this isn’t an au on what i think should’ve happened or whatnot. just a fun what if #…..and me being mentally ill.. #also.. head/chief of paranormal operations has a pretty sick ring to it #again. not 100% happy on this design. might rework it sometime #he’s cute though. i can stuff him into a sock #and smash him on the floor #smiles #guilty gear #zappa guilty gear #s ko guilty gear #crow kuruwaba #robdesigns #robart #thoughtz #ignore that ive forgotten the zippers on his sleeves for like. all the images. they’re there #whimpers

[transtarks]

sometimes you really just have to believe that certain things will work. like taking magnesium to sleep better. like stretching in the morning to help your body hurt less. like eating fruit in the sun. like going on a walk when you don’t feel good. like asking someone for a hug even when you feel weird about it. sometimes it helps if you just tell yourself it does.

#magnesium actually does help tho just sayin #and so does stretching in the morning. mad about that one #also take vitamin d with ur magnesium if u can it helps ur body absorb it better to make it work more #i’m trying so so hard to feel physically better #it’s very hard. i think if i wasn’t so physically ill i would be a lot mentally better this year #golly ollie

[fossys]

love seeing a mental health and disability advocate immediately turn around and go "haha im so delusional <3" in the same moment

#sarcasm i obviously hate this #i hate that delusional has been turned into some silly quirky thing like no!!!! #like if i tried to describe my delusions to these ppl theyd think im fucking insane #ppl understand why u dont use intrusive thoughts to mean impulsive #so why cant they understand not using delusional when they just me unlikely events #like god #im so fucking tired #-anon #actually delusional #delusional #sysblr #system #plural #plurality #mental illness #not saying who this was originally made about. its not the point the point is ppl using delusion as a silly quirky thing

[lessonsdrowning]

mac & dennis: two sides of the same abandonment issues coin.

dennis pushing people away and leaving them so nobody can get the chance to leave him first vs mac needing constant contact and trying to be the "protector" so people feel safe enough to stay with him. their relationship being built on abandonment issues and a revolving door of "please dont leave me" with dennis' "i need to be the one who leaves" vs mac's "i need to make you stay" complexes, which is why their relationship works so well. theyve perfected this method of tug of war, where dennis will pull away and mac will pull him back, or mac will pull away and dennis will pull him back -- nobody else can perfect this method better than themselves; theyve been doing this for 20+yrs after all

#sorry but. i was cleaning & then i started thinking. i am mentally ill #& also. their abandonment issues fuel their codependency. they dont want the other person to leave them #so they make sure the other person has a reason to stay w/ them. mac is the protector ('and thts y ur all safe as long as im around') #& dennis is the provider ('u dont actually own anything in this apartment') #sorry. im just really ill abt them <3 #iasip #macdennis #mac mcdonald #dennis reynolds #gt.txt

[oatbugs]

i understand being tired of the oppressive systems around us and having to pay for good therapy and the NHS sucks and job market sucks and capitalism sucks etc etc and i understand how shitty it must be to be told that the solution to fix The Ailments caused at least in part by The System is to engage further w the system but i swear to god wallowing in depression and doing absolutely nothing to better yourself or change things for yourself is not the rebellion you think it is !! you're not rejecting the system you're just existing within it doing nothing and being horribly depressed while resigning yourself to horrible depression for life !!!!! being like "yeah well the nhs sucks so i wont even TRY therapy what does talking to someone do anyway. what do meds do anyway." etc etc bc smn on reddit said fluoxetine didn't work for them and not contacting any of the ppl who you ghosted bc you got anxious abt it like 2 yrs ago is not a flex it is not a rejection of the omnipresent system it's not making u special or More Vulnerable Than others at some point u have to choose to get better bro omg.

#im actually frustrated asf but i will zip it irl #like i cant help ill just nod ive tried so hard i feel like . it must be exhausting to continue on w that mindset #of taking 0 accountability for ur own mental health like YES things suck but you have to at least fucking try !! #at least try once and then sure if u give it a good go and it fails then fine resign urself to lifelong depression ig #no job no universal credit bc u dont want a job no education no therapy just. abject misery #bc u dont want to engage w the ppl who love you or systems that have even a 5% chance to help u or student loans that can get u away or #etc etc #im ok !! #🥴 #ranting here bc it is Not Abt Me so as i said shutting it irl but it is getting a bit exhausting to repeat the same thing omg

[honeypleasejustkillme]

any one that actually fakes being bpd just for the “fun of it”,, i hope you truly don’t understand how debilitating this disorder is. i am constantly apologizing, constantly dissociating and having flashbacks, constantly splitting on the people i love, losing friends because i look like a monster, cutting people out because of imagined situations and making problems that don’t even exist, being impulsive, abusing things and myself.. nothing about this is fun, quirky or romantic.. if you have decided you are truly bpd and are looking into research and trying to understand is one thing but completely faking is another. i wouldn’t wish this disorder on anyone.

#actually bpd #bpd problems #bpd vent #actually borderline #actually mentally ill #bpd fp #bpd #bpd shitposting #bpd favorite person #bpd mood #bpd rant/vent #venting my thoughts and struggles #this is just a rant #a ramble if u will

[divinesouldariax]

it doesnt have to hurt more to be love!

it doesnt have to hurt more to be love.

there’s been a lot of very good meta about ashton, taking hits, carrying his friends, carrying heavy things for their friends, doing things that hurt, that make it hurt worse, to protect his friends from pain. because he knows how to carry pain. because they’re used to it. because they know he can keep going. because, because, because it’s what he knows, it’s all he knows.

and it’s true. ashton loves them. ashton is willing to hurt more for them, and it’s because they love their friends.

but, but, but. he shouldnt have to. people with chronic pain shouldnt have to do things that make the pain worse. we might choose to, and that is definitely an act of love, but feeling like they dont have a choice, that taking on more pain, silently, suffering without ever asking for help or saying no, i can’t do that, it hurts too much...

because, listen. for most people, chronic pain is limiting. it says no, we’re not climbing those stairs today. no, we can’t lean down and pick something up off the floor. no, we’re staying in bed with a heating pad and telling our friends sorry, i can’t make it today after all. i know you were looking forward to hanging out, but i can’t do it. maybe there’s some people with chronic pain that never have days bad enough that it limits them, but i’ve never met one.

so when i see ashton, whose friends didn’t figure out that he has chronic pain until they literally felt it in his mind, keep their pain under wraps for over a month, never saying no to carrying something (a heavy statue, fcg up a ladder, orym after he fell, laudna’s dead body for miles), swinging his hammer to defend and protect, literally picking losing battles to see if anybody is watching...to me, that doesn’t read as “look at this strong, empowered person with chronic pain who never lets it limit them”.

to me, that says “this is a person who thinks that love cannot exist without a worsening of pain, who won’t let themself pause or say no or even tell anybody that it hurts because he is deeply, deeply afraid that refusing pain is the same thing as denying his friends love”.

and that’s fucking devastating.

it doesnt have to hurt more to be love.

#ashton greymoore #critical role meta #critical role campaign 3 #bell's hells #there is a secret second part to this post #where i gently criticize matt and tal for not including some kind of Disability Mechanic #because i KNOW they can do it. they do it for caleb and fcg and imogen #but i'm still holding out hope that they have a secret one that they're waiting to reveal #based on a specific event or trigger for a flare-up #just. something something mental illnesses being given the opportunity to be Actually Disabling in this work of fiction #(which it SHOULD be. i'm not saying they shouldnt have done any of those ones.) #while physical disability is a handwavey/barely acknowledged flavor #let disabled characters be Disabled. Disabled means they are LIMITED in their ABILITY to DO THINGS. #.....i didnt mean to do the whole rant in the tags but apparently i did it anyway lmao #anyway. able-bodied people dont clown on me for this. #ill block u. #edit: i focus on chronic pain here bc thats what i personally have experience with #but obviously ashton has a traumatic brain injury which is also a disability #and i wouldnt want to ignore that just because it's not something im as intimately familiar with

[aropride]

most insane thing in the world to me is when a teenager online is like "what is [x]" or "i think i have [x] bc i relate to posts about it what are the symptoms" and other teenagers online are like "oh heres some information about it!" and then they link to an unsourced carrd .

#text #it drives me up the wall oh my fucking god at least TRY to find reputable sources #and if u cant. consider if the information youre sharing is just straight up wrong #it might be straight up wrong. it might not be! but it might be. and spreading misinformation about mental illness especially #more stigmatized ones. is bad actually!