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#u do ur normie thing and i do my thing and let it be

naumin · 2 months

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on creative daydreaming

are u daydreaming lately? about what?

daydreaming about my stories and characters used to be a big part of my creative process, but for a while ive felt pretty disconnected from them. i wonder if its because i dont have school deadlines or a job where i stare out of the window commuting or idling rn. when i do have time when my mind wanders, i find myself thinking a lot about my life, what i want it to look like, disappointments ive had, achievements ive made. it does feel like my imaginary friends arent picking up the phone. maybe im a normie now?

ppl i talk to talk about being bored or being stressed to shit as conditions that spur creativity. theres a big emphasis on playing dolls as escapism. i have a lot of stress in my life, like anybody else, but somehow playing dolls doesnt rly seem to hold the magic it usually does. im very used to using stories to explore difficult or negative emotions ive experienced, but somethings not quite connecting now. i also know u cant rly draw or make art when ur sick or lacking some needs, its a delicate balance, so maybe im too sick and needy rn.

i still draw and i enjoy it, its the imaginary friends that i miss. i try not to chase down inspiration, i try to play coy and let it come to me when it wants. i read a lot of things and watch a lot of things, though its getting to the point in the calender that im starting to be like, hello, when will it come back?! i miss that fun and that natural unhindered exploration.

i should also mention that huran enki is turning 6 this year, and all projects hit a wall eventually. i find myself interested in new themes, characters, and settings, though making progress w them feels glacial. maybe im comparing a project in its infancy to a project thats walking and talking and its not fair.

anyway, i havent lost hope yet, and if u have or havent i wanna hear about it.

#diary

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lifesver · 5 days

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leland's fallout verse sparknotes idk we are just minecrafting for funnies. pls forgive if i get fallout lore wrong i know an approximate amount of things only,

born in vault 41 (idk i just guesstimated based on other listed vault locations) in texas, vibes are space travel environment experimentation on the citizens (idk, NASA in houston etc). they were all unaware that their vault was isolated and submerged underwater to simulate certain conditions in space re: advanced life support systems. they were probably also fucking around with microgravity and pressurization stuff in general, but mostly the vault was full of normies and was a chill vault.

mom was mb the overseer, well-liked etc. but definitely didn't tell leland much of anything. probably his older sister was also on the council type deal.

probably something ruptured and either fucked up the pressure and/or it flooded for some reason. and it was like 'now what do you mean we were all underwater this whole time'. like everyone went down into the vault from on-land so they thought it was just like every other vault.

leland i think in the chaos of it gets hurt/hits his head pretty hard, so he only has the vague memory of someone pushing him into some kind of pod type thing that shot him up to the surface. he wakes up on the beach near it and connie stumbles on him like oh ur alive huh. i was just looting ur shit. he's just in shambles but he wants to know so bad if anyone else made it. what happened and why.

he's like 'what do you mean my vault was underwater this entire time. was no one going to tell me--' and also just learning that there's just no way to get back down there safely unless he finds a way through the connecting vault tunnels from another nearby vault. he's just on the surface w absolutely nothing to his name but his silly vault suit and no way of knowing if his family or friends from the vault made it.

he's just wandering around accidentally acting like a protagonist by default bc everyone else's tired and jaded in the wasteland and he's shiny and dumb and willing to help just about whoever asks. just because it's like, yeah man that's how we do things in the vault???? some of u guys could be a little nicer tbh???? just trusting lots of the wrong people and learning the hard way that shit is very different on the surface, average naive/privileged vaultie moment etc. but he means well and endears himself to a lot of those rough around the edges people. but also you know how it is in the wasteland sometimes being endearing does not solve the situation and u have to kill a man, fundamentally changing you as a person forever,

he's more capable than he comes off but also he doesn't like guns and is bad with them. and also he cannot sneak to save his life. he'd rather knock someone out than kill anyone and ik bro was trying to talk to feral ghouls like hey (: you okay? if there's a trap, he's stepping in it. if someone is even fake nice to him? he'll probably fall for it. if he sees a radroach? near tears-

kind of realizing there was no big reason he was sent up or anything, besides like, love, of his mother. kind of unravelling the truth behind the vaults and how that shit doesn't even matter anymore. coming across devastation after devastation in other vaults. not knowing what his purpose is supposed to be without his newfound companions. the future being uncertain but just wanting to stay with them instead of wanting to go back to the safety of a vault. like hey lets just... live out here where no one will bother us and pretend like we have something simple and normal.

#may or may not be more nefarious secret going on besides 'we didn't tell u this thing could rupture and flood lol'#me thinking about how space does stuff like fucks up ur bones and that could be sort of fucked up to experiment with-#i was possessed by the idea of an underwater vault. yes i enjoy bioshock how did u know #this is all whatever it could change but i'm having fun pondering it

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fefairys · 9 months

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G) and H) for the psy main cast

G) What trait of theirs bothers you the most? H) What trait do you admire most? this is gonna be long af it's going under the cut

Psy G) hmmmm well they have this like teenagerism of thinking things are cringe, which is annoying. they get embarrassed about their interests and miss out on genuine connections because they can't let anyone know they care about things. H) what DO i admire.... hmm well i think it is so cool that they can and do just steal shit all the time lol i think thats pretty awesome. there's also some stuff from their past i admire them for that we'll be seeing soon ;) as u know, juice, lol

Melody G) think it's annoying how she feels like she needs to be perfect. she's better about it than she was as a teen, but she still cares a bit too much about what other people think of her... its ok, girl, you dont need to please everyone, in fact its impossible!!! its going to be ok <3 H) everything else <3 haha! but no something i really admire about her and like, look up to her for is her sense of leadership! she's not only a good pride leader, planning events and making it fun to be there, but she's also like the leader of the friend group. she's the one who hits up the group chat like "hey lets do something together this weekend!!!" like she's holding it all together. it would all fall apart without her. i wish i could be like that!

Jett G) oh god i HATE how argumentative it is online. like i would have this guy blocked on tumblr if it was real because he has a terrible habit of responding to things that make him angry. he's gotten a lot better at ignoring things and putting down the phone since his teen years, but it will still type out paragraphs of discourse on tumblr dot com because he has OPINIONS that he feels MUST be HEARD. go touch grass, dude 😒 it's not worth it H) it is unapologetically itself!! hes so awesome!!!! like he doesnt give a shit that his coworkers think hes annoying or weird, thats literally THEIR problem and it's not gonna tone down its whimsy for those fools. that's so admirable, i go full Normie Mode in public lol

Tate G) HOW TO CHOOSE. all of his traits bother me! lmao! but i think that worst is that he's rarely thinking about the feelings of others. he's incredibly self-serving, and only really cares about himself because he thinks he's the only person that should really matter in his life. he has an 'its everyone for themselves' mentality going on 🙄 H) (through gritted teeth) i suppose i admire his confidence. i mean think about the fucking gusto it takes to sit in the cafeteria with a sign in front of u that says "free psychic readings" and just bullshit your way through it. incredible. he's also the type of guy who goes around at parties and just fearlessly chats up absolutely everyone. thats insane i wish i could do that.

Guy okay this is interesting because my answer for both G and H are the same for Guy!!! it's that he is incredibly forgiving! on one hand, he gets himself hurt by giving people the benefit of the doubt too much, and he always gives out second chances. but on the other hand, it is genuinely amazing how, even though it has gotten him hurt multiple times throughout his life, he's STILL willing to forgive people over and over again, and give them as many chances as it takes. he's willing to self-sacrifice to help other people grow! it bothers me because i want to see him care about himself and his own needs more, but i also admire it, because i wish i had that kind of forgiveness in my heart for everyone, y'know? its like aahggghhh why are you doing this to yourself but also awww 🥺 duuuuude 🥺 ur right dude maybe there IS good in everyone.. maybe everyone CAN change... if u believe....

#asks #isjuice #psy comic #cats ocs #psy quizon #melody paramore #jett ash blood shadow #tate baker #guy magtibay #psy asks

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cak31ssuperi04 · 3 months

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Crashing at ur ask box again but the rest of Sweet Beach 4 the ask game

(I feel like one of those door to door newspaper boys trying to to bring u the latest issues of the daily survey /hj /lh)

HOW LONG HAS THIS BEEN IN MY DRAFTS. MY BABIES NO (under the cut)

Hitohito:

favorite thing about them- They love him for his nice kindness. Friendly boy swag. I appreciate that he's a loud energetic type but still portrayed as reasonably smart.

least favorite thing about them- Idk he's just a cool chill guy. What is there to dislike. Maybe that's a problem. Maybe he needs to do something objectionable right now.

favorite line- This isn't quite a line but I think about it often

brOTP- I like the idea of him being Sagara and Izuchi's normie childhood friend. They've mostly lived in the same neighborhood their whole lives so they're just kind of on each other's radars, even if they aren't always exactly close.

OTP- N/A

nOTP- N/A

random headcanon- Kills it at Taiko rhythm games. Fishes in his spare time.

unpopular opinion- N/A

song i associate with them- Brothers. Good vibes slightly nonsensical lyrics

favorite picture of them-

Mary:

favorite thing about them- I like the thread of her being a child star who had to grow up too fast, who's sheltered and emotionally/socially stunted from having to maintain an image all the time and longs for a normalcy that she knows she can't have("people envy what they do not have.") but will enjoy whatever little of it she can. I feel like the Sweet Beach side-character friend events shy away from delving into them beyond a surface-level(which, all things considered, makes sense for how little time they have to dedicate to each one I guess) so it's nice to see it get touched on.

least favorite thing about them- I loooove her design so much don't get me wrong but Actually drawing it is like putting myself through a meat grinder(I'm weak I know)

favorite line- "I see. He's lost the ability to speak. What a sorrowful person." So unintentionally patronizing jksadhasgdhjg

brOTP- Nanashi(obvious answer is obvious) but also Hitohito! I also have the headcanon that she continues visiting the cafe to cool off. While Hitohito(who listens to a lot of top 40 radio stations while he jogs--and since Fairytale Forest lets its employees curate the music that plays in the cafe he just winds up listening to a lot of just the most popular music at the moment at work anyways-- so he IS familiar with her music but doesn't keep up super closely with her as a celebrity.) was able to offhandedly dismiss her as a cosplayer the first time, that excuse doesn't really hold for very long after that.

OTP- N/A

nOTP- Meury is aesthetically interesting but idk the 17-21 age gap is a no for me.

random headcanon- While Sweet Beach is a big tourism area, the specific area that Eruno and Aira takes Nanashi to is a less industrious, less popular area of it, hence all the buildings being single-story and some rando being able to singlehandedly drive all the tourists off the beach(which apparently is the main attraction of said big tourism area) without getting into trouble for it. In any case Mary specifically chose that area because it wouldn't be as swarming with paparazzi and crowds, and easier to keep a lower profile.

unpopular opinion- N/A

song i associate with them- Itan na Star

favorite picture of them-

Meru:

favorite thing about them- Just an eternally sleepy girl trying to make it in this world

least favorite thing about them- For how much it's played for laughs I do wish they either went more into exploring her condition and how it affects her life or gave us more about her character outside of it. Though I guess there is something to be said there about her not seeking professional help and turning to other means because of the stigma surrounding neurological disorders?(if I'm missing the point like, lmk though of course)

favorite line- "…But the work hours are most favorable here. Other slave driving workplaces make you work 5 hours or more…" Go girl

brOTP- I really like the idea of a Meru/Ryuuri/Yuuto friendship. Sleepygang

OTP- Meu! I'm so weirdly invested in the idea of them. Look hear me out. Meru likes stimulating things. Meu is high-energy all the time. They share 2/3 of their favorite gifts(Similar tastes! What do you mean Im grasping at straws im not grasping at straws i)

nOTP- I saw someone suggest Izuchi/Meru once

random headcanon- Loves metal(the music). Also loves rollercoasters, though is hesitant about riding them on her own because what if she falls asleep.

unpopular opinion- N/A

song i associate with them- Time Slip

favorite picture of them-

Saaya:

favorite thing about them- I like that she's kind of complicated? She's a 14 year old with abandonment issues and a warped perception of love who handles it in destructive ways and she's fucked up but that's kind of real to me idkidk

least favorite thing about them- Her treatment of Nanashi (the self harm threats particularly) is still very uncomfortable

favorite line- "Strange? No... This is the realm of gods! Yes! You are a god, Nanashi!!"

brOTP- Meu! I've mentioned this before but I like the idea of her just coming to Meu for divinations on her love life only to end up venting. At some point she just drops the pretenses but Meu is fine with it. She's a good shoulder to cry on.

OTP- N/A

nOTP- Nanashi:(

random headcanon- I like to think she does a bit of sewing for a hobby.

unpopular opinion- Not an unpopular opinion but I'm thinking about how she mentions the water looks a little bloody. And since the water is pink I can't help but imagine 1bh characters having bright pink danganronpa blood

song i associate with them- Aishite Aishite Aishite/ Lovefool

favorite picture of them-

Meu:

favorite thing about them- She's so funny and silly and energetic. She's like an aunt to me. Not really good at what she does but very committed to the bit and I respect that.

least favorite thing about them- Feels a bit scammy to me and I feel like there is potentially a line to be towed there but it's okay she's allowed to do that.

favorite line- "A fortune is never a guarantee! Why, it usually isn't in fact! ✬ Kyahaaa!"

brOTP- Sagara! In my mind Meu eats lunches at Little Berry(is eating cake for lunch entirely healthy? Probably not. But Meu thinks she especially needs a little treat today to help with her luck. In fact she thinks that everyday. Though there probably are a couple of regular food options, and it's right next door anyways) and Sagara acts as a Witch's Apprentice(tm) sometimes when she isn't at work, which basically just means sweeping floors and rearranging things but she also gets to wear a cape and a cool hat so she pretends it's serious magic business. They match each other's energies well and Meu also watches magical girl anime so it works out. Meu lets her hold DND sessions at Star Brink because she likes the vibe there.

OTP- Meru!

nOTP- [see Mary's]

random headcanon- Has a black cat. That she found in a trash can and just decided to keep. Leaves it at home when she can because it keeps trying to knock over her trinkets, and especially has it out for her crystal ball.

unpopular opinion- If she hasn't been roped into a pyramid scheme yet she will be

song i associate with them- No Reason/ Why Must We Tell Them Why

favorite picture of them-

#All these characters have so little official art. I'mso sad #pieceofcake.txt #cakeasks #ch4 has my favorite cast but ch1 did the best job at actually trying to develop its side characters #I complain about Mary's design being hard to draw but in my defense so did Miwashiba #I wouldn't last 5 minutes as a g/enshin fanartist

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southieparkie · 1 year

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blorbo!!! what do u think of insane butters. like butters willing to murder. as a treat? u post very normie things and i love them but that also means i must see what ur other takes r

you know what yes!!! i only think about insane butters occasionally, but now that you mention it insane butters makes so much sense and is a really great way to approach his character!!

people say that insanity arcs and headcanons and things of that sort are fanon or ooc, which is something i don’t necessarily agree with, ESPECIALLY with this lil nugget right here. he’s not going to be the absolute same as a teenager/adult versus as a child. he’s prone to change in some capacity, and with how much shit he goes through in the show you can bet your bottom dollar the insanity route is a reasonable conclusion!

i think what opened my eyes to the hc/au the most is Vic Chaos. seeing that little teaser of his name on the cell wall at the end of SPPC, my brain started to Think.

i don’t even think he’d be the type of wackadoodles to kill everyone with NFTs either. i think he’d go for a more Professor Chaos-ish way of doing things, y’know? Not exactly swapping people’s soups at restaurants, more liiiiike poisoning them. maybe a little stabby stab for funsie wunsies? idk. i dont have that many headcanons because i don’t think about it alot, but let it be known that i see him!!!! i acknowledge him and i like him!!!!!!!!

(also incredibly short butters wielding a machete twice his size lmfao)

#south park #leopold butters stotch #thank you for the ask friend!!!!!

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aspergillosis · 1 year

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this is going to sound so retarded bc like people have real problems but it seems like ur sort of in an alt/music-y group and ur traditionally religious, people mock me a lot about that and act like im a weirdo for being reverent and like ive found that ive learned to tone it down and let a lot of things slide and just generally not rly stand up for my faith and id like to not be like that so i guess do u have any tips

no omg it's not a dumb question anon. I don't know if I can give you good advice because I am in the scene yes but I'm not super ingroup and I personally don't even make that a mission. I have a bit of a wanderer/exiled princess vibe so it's easy for me to make friends but I don't feel like my identity's got as much to do with it as my ability to just feel at ease anywhere and with anyone.

I also think my faith seamlessly locks in with raver culture very easily because of shared principles (PLUR), so I'm curious about the disconnect that you're experiencing and what kind of scene you're in. If your friends mock you then they're not your friends, and you don't need em to enjoy good music and good times.

While I've had (normie) people react negatively or vitriolically to me mentioning my faith [when this happens, I politely excuse myself from the conversation. It's a waste of my time], I've found no such negativity from alts. Usually I'm met with polite curiosity, and I keep the conversation interesting by connecting back into the other person's experience with religiosity, because pretty much everyone has grappled with faith one way or another. It's a near-universal experience, and connecting over that is so precious to me.

Another thing for me is, I just don't talk about myself a ton, which I think helps me avoid getting embroiled in a debate. I don't want to debate strangers.

I really struggle to imagine what you mean by "not standing up for your faith" and "needing to tone it down" because you shouldn't be like, trying to debate the guys doing whippits about the ten commandments either. That's also a very important thing to keep in mind. If you want respect, you have proactively give that to others.

I hope this was at least somewhat helpful and feel free to come off anon and message me more, I feel like I'm missing a ton of context but I wish you the best of luck with navigating your social sphere. Remember to always shoot straight from the heart.

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silasplaskett · 2 years

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you might've explained it already, but what are your opinions on raf? personally, i just.. didn't care much for him. i liked his story, but his character was a constant stick in the mud, i didn't think he truly went anywhere w/ his development.

like, i'm super glad he beat seth up, but also.. he should've just let kirin do it a couple episodes ago.

(in my opinion, henry would've been a better lead fr the boys)

i havent really talked a lot about raf yet!

the thing is that i absolutely loved how he was written from the start. i dont really relate to his character which makes him harder to enjoy but i thought his backstory was probably the most well developed and it lends perfectly to every second of his decision making throughout the plot.

whether or not i Like him is. complicated? honestly i hate to say this but i feel about the same way about him that i felt about leah the first time i watched season 1 which is like. why does the plot seem to revolve around This character of All People? self-isolating normie who doesnt have real hobbies or interests. i think the parallels u can draw between them are interesting, how they become attached to one person and that can lead to poor decision making and deteriorate their sense of self.

i think of all things i was mostly disappointed bc the beginning of the season set him up with so much intrigue from his interview and then his backstory and the handcuffs that i guess i kind of thought he would be a more... heroic? character? and when he wasnt that at all i mostly just got bored of him. like he spends multiple episodes trying to simultaneously coalesce with the larger group while still feeling like he belongs by seths side. i think i was just anticipating him finally breaking that bond with seth for so long and by the time hes finally whacking seth with the oar i was like okay thanks buddy i guess ur interesting again.

while i wish we got more explanation and depth about like. everything about henry i just dont really think he would have been a better lead, if only from a narrative perspective. i feel like if we knew too much about henry too quickly we also would have known too much about seth too quickly and maybe im goofy and other ppl did, but i didnt exactly anticipate the twist with seth and im pleased with how that was executed in the show. then again maybe it would have been more fun in a dramatic way if henry was the lead and we still got a good twist out of seths evilness so idk!

all of this is to say that i suppose in the end i do like raf! i have hope for whatever happens with him in s3!

#i had kind of a grand old time typing all of this out tbh so thank u for that #the wilds #the wilds spoilers #rafael garcia #henry tanaka #asks

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sadisticyouko · 2 years

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"dont be afraid to reach out im mostly normal!" number one way to directly not appeal to me JGKZJF /JKJK LMAO but u should know back when i first made my tumblr my url was weirdobsessivenerd and Weirdo was literally what i went by as my name (then i discovered kinning and started going by rouge and now also kurama lol) so like. im Absolutely one to embrace weirdness and encourage it in others, so! dont hold back that unhinged-ness! its precisely what draws me to people HFKHZKG when i say Chill i absolutely mean someone that feels like theyd probably be easy to just relax n be myself around. hang out being Cool Bros. which basically equals being unjudgemental and a bit of a freak (said absolutely positively but i wont use that again if ur uncomfortable with being called that!!)

but ANYWAYZ yeah sending out asks n responding through that feels a lot less...... contained? whatever the hell that means for Conversations but its the vibe lol. exactly like what u were saying. its like im pokin my head out of my lil fox den and yelling out across the field instead of inviting someone inside bgksbfjnzf also yea i totally get the social battery thing thats Super how it is for me too. if were ever chattin n u just drop off out of nowhere and show back up in a couple days continuing the same convo i will not judge bc i Super Relate JFKHSJF

also im not like Super exactly like my kins all the time its more like an internal thing. they may not always reflect me but i still get the feeling of Thats Me. cant always explain it tjjsbf then theres the case of some kins of being exactly how i am irl and some i connect to so hard for one reason or another that i just absorb all of their characteristics into myself bkdjfkd i have a lot of mha kins bc it was my Big Hyperfixation before yyh completely steamrolled over everything in my brain lol, most of them are lower kins tho but my bigger ones are def himiko, la brava, ochako, and shoto!

tbh i kinda wonder how into yyh i woulda been if i discovered it when i was younger, it feels like i may not have been as into it as i am now? which is weird to picture bc rn im Severely hyperfixated on it, i cant imagine having any other sort of relationship to the series jfkdhkf AND HIEI IS SO. FUCKING. ATTRACTIVE. only the second character to break through my asexuality and sex repulsion fjkdjfkd i cant believe he actually makes me so wild over his muscles when ive literally never given any fucks about abs n shit all my life. his hotness is just too powerful fjsjf AND IM ALWAYS ADORING HOW TINY HE IS BUT IN REALITY HES JUST A FEW INCHES SHORTER THAN ME TOO BC IM 5'2" LMAO. but. i always picture his height in comparison to kuramas human and youko forms and it makes me crazy HFKSJKF little man i want to pick him up and kiss him as hes frustrated and flustered about being carried so easily like that and annoyed at himself that he actually likes it 🥰

also if u do like those songs lmk owo!! im always curious to see if others will like a song i recommend hehe. and if u like aggressive music then boy do i have plenty of that bc edgy shit is like my #1 thing i love to listen to HFKSHKF

Omg pretending I’m normal is how I try to fit in ! That’s my inner shuichi trying to blend in with this classmates 😂 I’m a little bit of a weirdo too but I like pretending to be normie passing, I’m like a snail hiding all it’s weirdness under the shell 😂 my first username was tsukisbadgirl so I GET IT 😂😂 I was SUPER into bakugou I mean I still like him but he’s been replaced as my #1 since I got into Tokyo revengers 😂 I will let you know all about my weirdness tendencies but pretend its perfectly normal like 2 seconds later hehe

& yea wild open asks are the best lol IDK WHY but it’s all so true ! I’m glad u won’t judge if I can’t reply right away cuz sometimes I need to disappear and then I feel bad if I try to come back later ! Ohhh the kin thing makes sense too ! Maybe I’m not kinning too many ppl from mha rn cuz I’m hyper fixated on Tokyo revengers now ! I kin like SO MANY PPL from there but I am hopelessly obsessed with it so that might be why 😂 (especially manjiro, he is plaguing my every waking & slumbering moment now 👀)

asbfoajsos Hiei’s MUSCLES keep drawing me back like a little magnet and I am RESISTING 😂😂 why is he built like that ?? I mean I know why but omg WHY DOES IT LOOK SO GOOD ?? i hate it, if Kurama had nearly half the shirtless scenes hiei did I’d be even more unhinged but they didn’t give him the chance !! 😭 SOBBING. I like to be the one that gets manhandled tbh but I feel like even with Hiei’s height he could still get it done 😏 and then im like NO ! INTRUSTIVE THOUGHTS I WANT KURAMA ! and ahdisnsiaosndk 😂 im mostly attracted to ppl based on personality rather than physicality but once im attracted to the person it opens the flood gates and all of a sudden everything about them seems hot 😩

But yes I will let u now about the songs !! It might take me a while like my reading list lol ahdisbskdn BUT I will eventually get to it ! I do things very sporadically and depending on inspiration level so I can’t be held accountable 😂

#sadisticyouko asks #i don’t feel like working today #that’s unrelated but still ! i need coffee lol #sadisticyouko rants #not writing

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uniformbravo · 2 years

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time for the thing where i yell about gay wizards Even More than ever before (with my heart, soul, AND ass) get ready

let's gooooOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

---

[Simon] "Why all the wars? Why did they all start with the vampire raids?"

"The war with the dark things started there," she says. "That should be obvious. I mean, mages and vampires have never got on--we need Normals alive, and they need them dead. But invading Watford, that was an act of war. And it was the first real attack by the Humdrum, too."

ok. my brain is fresh just getting back into this so bear with me but like. it was established that the dragon was under some sort of spell or trance or something when the humdrum sent it to attack watford, right? idk if it's different bc the creatures it sends are like. Creatures. but vampires are just People, so is it maybe not the same for them? is the understanding in the magickal world that the vampires were Working with the humdrum, like he told them to attack and they were like u got it boss, or were they similarly under a spell

bc if it was the latter then doesn't it mean they're like. not Technically at fault. like the dragon

and if they were working with the humdrum, why have they literally never shown up again since then. or are we just missing context here. if there's a war against dark things, as penny says here, then maybe that's implying that vampires and other Funny Guys are doing other shit on the side, just not directly relevant to watford or any of our characters' povs atm

(or MAYBE they were under a spell during the attack and their continued part in the war is because they were blamed for something they actually had no control over??? i mean they ended up having a Lot of casualties that day, what with being burned to a crisp and all that. whatever the reason for the attack was, it had to have been either really worth it for the price, or not even their choice in the first place)

thirdly, does the humdrum actually attack people who aren't simon? there was a point earlier in the book where simon was like "maybe the mage is right and i should leave watford, then everyone else would be safer because the humdrum wouldn't be sending shit to attack the school" which VERY much implies that it only goes after simon specifically

so then like. why would it send a bunch of vampires to attack watford before simon was even old enough to attend 🤔 and going with my theory that it came into existence directly because of simon, it just makes even less sense bc its number 1 fixation during its entire existence is. simon. at least that's what i'm assuming

also, last thing, that bit about "we need normals alive, they need them dead" is another detail highlighting how out of the ordinary the attack was- if they always feed off of normies then Why attack watford

it's all just more clues pointing to there being way more to the vampire attack than just another Humdrum Incident

"You didn't hurt Baz."

"Maybe I did--he'd never admit it."

"Maybe it didn't hurt him," she says, "because he's already dead."

"Baz isn't dead."

"Well he's not alive."

"I....I think he is," I say. "He has magic. That's life."

👀 simon????

[Baz] When I come back, Bunce is gone. I can tell she's been sitting on my bed again--it smells like her. Like blood and chocolate and kitchen herbs. I'll snap at her about it tomorrow.

lol saving it for later

I need to go hunting in the Wood again; the rats are getting few and far between in the Catacombs, even though I try not to take the females.

It's a pain to hunt in the Wood. I have to do it during the day because the Mage brings the drawbridge up at dusk, and I can't Float like a butterfly over the moat every night like I did today; I don't have the magic.

bro get this guy some freakin ACCOMMODATIONS @ the mage i thought ur whole thing was diversifying and opening up the school to anyone w magic u ran ur mouth now WHERE'S ur money

not to get all up in arms abt fantasy boarding school but this guy shouldn't have to be scrounging around for rats down in the Cat of Combs to get by no matter HOW goth he is smH

At first it was as if Snow was giving magic to me. Sending it to me. But then the magic was just there. It was mine, in that moment, everything that was his.

All right. I have to stop thinking about it like this. Like it was a gift. Snow would never have opened himself up to me if there hadn't been a dragon overhead....

ehehehehe getting carried away there :3c

I wonder if I could take the magic from him if I tried, but the thought turns my stomach.

Nice nice nice nice love it love this love that for u baz sweetie ur doing amazing

"Baz?"

"What." I sit on my own bed, on top of the covers.

"I....can you come here?"

"No."

"I can come over there, then."

I cross my legs and arms. "You may not."

Snow huffs, exasperated. Good, I think.

baz sticks his tongue out at simon in the dark when he can't see

(simon does the same thing, forgetting that baz can see-)

"You can't sit on my bed," I say as he sits on my bed. "And neither can Bunce. My bed reeks of intensity and brownies."

"Here," he says, holding out his hand.

"What do you want from me, Snow?"

"Nothing," he says. And he means it, the actual bastard.

LOL LMAO baz freaking out that none of his psychic attacks are working as simon continues to nonchalantly invade his personal space, none the wiser to the effects of his own unintentional psychic attacks,

"Are you going to let me do it again?"

"No."

"Then it doesn't matter if it was a fluke!"

Snow's still sitting on my bed. "All right," he says, "Maybe."

"Maybe what?"

"Maybe I'd do it again," he says.

uououghguough 👀 👀 👀

(also the detail "he's STILL sitting on my bed," kfkdjglsdjdkgjdk lmaooooooo)

[...] "What if I turned it against you?" [...] "What if I took your magic, cast it against you, and settled Baz versus Simon, once and for all."

(he said s-)

Snow's mouth is hanging slightly open. His tongue shines black in the dark. "Why are you such a villain?" He sounds disgusted. "Why have you already thought of that?"

"I thought of it when I was still rhyming at the dragon," I say. "Didn't you?"

"No."

"This is why I'm going to beat you," I say.

GFKGJDOJFKDJGKD BAZ

he had to think the villainous thoughts first, to make room for all the gay thoughts later,

"We're on a truce," Snow says.

"I can still think antagonistically. I'm thinking violent thoughts at you constantly."

LOL

He grabs my hand. I want to pull it away, but I don't want to look scared--and also I don't want to pull it away. Bloody Snow. I'm thinking violent thoughts at him right now.

look dude with how twisted up ur thoughts of love and hatred for him are, expressing violence towards him is Basically a confession at this point

the way baz is like, trying to defend himself by spitting Violence and Aggression at simon like he usually does, only to be met with simon just. calmly advancing, sitting on his bed, taking his hand, is like. so beautiful. so fucking good. baz is an angry hissing spitting cat and simon is slowly reaching his hand out to pet him and Then (what happens next will warm ur heart)

Snow licks his bottom lip and closes his eyes halfway. Is this how he looked this afternoon? Crowley.

LMFAOOOOOOOOO if simon had stood in front of baz instead of behind him that dragon woulda crushed the entire school into rubble

I feel his magic.

At first it's a buzz in my fingertips, then a rush of static up my arm. I try not to squirm.

"Okay?" he asks. His voice is soft.

🥺🥺🥺

HIS VOICE IS SOFT AHGUGGHAUGHG STOP

The static in my arm settles into a heavy thrum, like electrical sparks catching into flames. The discomfort goes away, even though the licking, flaming feeling gets stronger. This I know what to do with: This is fire.

👀 HAS NO IDEA HOW TO INTERPRET THIS BUT KNOWS IT MEANS FUCKING SOMETHING HRUGAGHUG ARE U KIDDING MEEEEEEEEEEE

"Still okay?" he asks.

"Grand," I say.

HE KEEPS CHECKING IN IM KIND OF SOBBING????????

"What does that mean--does that mean you could use it?"

I laugh, and it comes out more good-natured than I mean it to. "Snow. I think I could cast a sonnet right now."

"Show me," he says.

SCREAMSSSSSSSSSSSSSS WHY DOES THAT HIT WHY IS THAT SO GOOD WHY AMD I SCREAMINGGGGGGG AAAAAAAAAAAAA

I speak clearly: "Twinkle, twinkle little star!"

By the time I get to the end of the next phrase, the room around us is gone, and the stars feel close enough to touch.

"Up above the world so high!"

Simon grabs my other hand, and my chest opens wider.

my face is in my hands this is so much this is SO MUCH THEY ARE IN THE STARS,,,, THEY ARE HOLDING HANDS,,,.,, FELLAS,,.,., CAN I GET A

"Is it too much?"

"No. It's like you completed the circuit," I say, gripping his other hand. "I feel kind of drunk, though."

"Drunk on power?" he asks.

I giggle. "Shit, Snow. Stop talking. This is embarrassing."

"Do you want me to pull back?"

"No. I want to look at the stars."

"I'm pulling back," he says.

LET HIM LOOK AT THE STARS

Now we're just sitting on my bed, holding hands. Simon Snow and I. I can't look at his eyes, so I stare at his cross.

Just Two Bros Sitting On The Bed Holding Hands After Visiting The Stars Together, What's Better Than This

He looks uncharacteristically thoughtful. I wonder if he's forgotten that he's holding my hands. Or if he's forgotten what it means to hold hands. Or if he's forgotten who I am entirely.

I think again about pulling my hands away--but Snow could light fires in my palms at this point, and I wouldn't pull away. It feels like he has.

WE'RE LOSING HIM ALERT ALERT WE ARE LOSING HIM FAST

"Baz," he says, and it's not unprecedented for him to say my name, but I know he avoids it.

There It Is

He Avoids It

"This is stupid. If we're going to be working together, you can't keep pretending that I don't know."

"Don't know what," I say, yanking my hands back.

"Get off my bed."

Snow stands up, but doesn't stand down. "I know. I've known since our fifth year. How're we supposed to help you if you're still keeping all these secrets? Like, why did you start school late this term? And what happened to you? And why are you limping?"

"That's none of your business," I hiss. "None of it."

fuck. fuck every time simon brings that up baz clams right the fuck up and i just. im dying to get to a point where baz CAN tell him like. is he even gonna TELL him or is simon just gonna like. Find Out. i want it so fuckin bad this is like. benchmark how much baz trusts simon it's gotta keep coming up and EVENTUALLY.......

"We're supposed to find out who sent blood-sucking vampires to kill your mother, and you are a blood-sucking vampire. You don't think that's relevant?"

As if I can just admit that. Out loud. On the record. As if every other magician wouldn't gladly light me up if they knew it to be true.

:(((((((((

As if Snow himself hasn't been trying to expose me every day for seven years.

I clamp my jaw shut.

:(((((((((

JUST!!!!!! this is an assumption on my part but the idea that he DOES want to be able to trust simon with that information, in another universe, on another timeline, where allowing that info to be exposed wouldn't be a direct threat to his life LIKE. does simon even realize.

like im sure that was the point when he was trying to expose him as an enemy, but now that they're trying to be on the same side, temporarily, does simon even realize the implications of what he's asking baz to do.

this is just the "i could steal your magic" thing all over again, really. the "i thought of it immediately, didn't you?" baz's outlook on this entire situation, the baz vs simon situation, is through a lens of self-preservation, survival, taking any chance he can get to get the upper hand bc he knows he'll lose in the long run

so while simon's sitting here like "this is my current goal, we need to cooperate to make it happen, baz is just being stubborn because he sucks and hates me" whereas baz is like "this truce isn't gonna last forever, thinking about the long run the stupidest thing i could do right now is openly admit to the thing he's been maliciously trying to pry out of me for years"

it's just!!! kinda sad!!!!

and also. thinking about it as a Gay thing. u know, the "hiding an enormous part of ur identity from a community that would immediately turn against you if they knew" metaphor. baz really just straight up has No place he is truly accepted for all parts of him. like obvs there's the vampire thing everywhere except for home, where it's known, but then he said earlier that his dad doesn't accept his sexuality so even though he's technically safe at home, he's still not Accepted as he is

(and i'm pretty sure his aunt fiona knows and accepts that he's gay, but she fucking hates simon for war-related reasons SO LIKE)

makes me sad :(

i also wanna quickly touch upon smth else tho, which is simon's point about how honesty and openness between them will help with their search; baz is currently the only one who holds all the pieces to the puzzle so far; along with everything the three of them have discussed together, he also has the memories of the day of the attack, as well as what happened to him at the beginning of the school year.

bc that's another piece of it, i think; his kidnapping has everything to do with what happened with the vampire attack, probably the same person/group who orchestrated the attack was behind the kidnapping too, bc like. ok

the point of the attack was to turn baz & natasha into vampires, right, and that worked. baz is a vampire, and it's a Super heavily guarded secret- but obviously whoever ordered the kidnapping knew about it, or else the numpties wouldn't have thought to put him in a coffin or give him blood (and obvs they had numpties do it to conceal their own identity but like we already knew that)

ALSO while im talking abt it another theory to add onto that, u know what was Conveniently happening at the beginning of the school year at the time of The Numpting?? the whole thing w the Veil Lifting and all those ghosts comin thru w juicy info for me & u???

penny Literally said at one point that it used to be a Thing for people to get kidnapped or murdered before the veil lifting so they couldn't be told Crucial info abt like conspiracies and crimes n stuff SO LIKE. GUESS WHO SHOWED UP W CRUCIAL INFO ABT CONSPIRACIES AND CRIMES N STUFF

in conclusion baz was kidnapped to keep his mom from spilling the beans abt her murder by the people who murdered her and the WHOLE reason i bring this all up is bc baz is the Only One who has all the info necessary to make these connections but obvs he's not about to tell simon or penny about it, which potentially Does hinder the effort

so my point is to properly solve the mystery and get to the bottom of the whole conspiracy baz is gonna have to open up to them eventually and i am SUPER looking forward to it, PLEASE crack this guy open like a walnut i am Ready 2 Witness It my opera glasses are OUT

[Simon] I have to admit, my first thought is that Agatha misses me. That she wants to get back together.

I'll say yes, of course. I won't even make her ask. We can go right back to how we were.

PLEASE not this not ur pathetic ass inventing a situation that glosses over agatha's issues and the reason she broke up w u in the first place

Maybe I'll even tell her what's going on with Baz--maybe she can help.

[...]

This has all been such shit. Ignoring each other. Sitting apart. Acting like enemies when all we've ever been is friends.

ok but this is making me sad :( i'd REALLY love to see simon get over the breakup and become friends with agatha again bc they're not right for each other romantically but as friends they would be so cute ;w; and also it just makes me sad when years long friendships are broken in general :(((

But also, she's just not that social. Especially at school. She used to be really involved in dance, before Watford, and she's still all caught up in horses, and I think she's closer to her summer Normal friends than anybody here.

[...]

I don't think Agatha cares that much about magic, full stop. The last time we talked about the future, she was thinking about becoming a veterinarian.

bro how did it only hit me Just Now agatha is a HORSE GIRL she's out here begging her daddy not to get rid of the ornery stallion they got saddled with last week, she can tame him if he just gives her some time, she can teach him to LOVE

but jokes aside SEE this is what i mean agatha has her whole entire Other shit going on offscreen and it's just so. she is Neat

I've been thinking a lot about Christmas lately. I always spend it with the Wellbeloves. I have since I first came to Watford.

[...]

It's how Agatha and I got to be friends. [...]

They're all good to me, Helen included. Agatha's mum gives me nice clothes for Christmas, and her dad talks to me about my future like I'm not going to die in a ball of fire.

I just really like them. And I like Christmas. And I've been thinking about how weird it's going to be to sit around the dinner table, talking to Agatha's parents, knowing that we're broke up.

🥺

(also that ball of fire line simon PLEASE)

"My dad wants you to know that of course you're still welcome at our house for Christmas," Agatha says.

"Oh," I say. "Good."

"But I think we both know how uncomfortable that would be," she goes on. [...]

"Right," I say. It would be uncomfortable, I guess.

"It would ruin Christmas," she says.

[...]

"Right," I say instead.

"So I told him that you were probably going to stay with the Bunces."

Agatha knows I can't stay with the Bunces. Penelope's mum can only take about two or three days of me before she starts treating me like a Great Dane who can't help knocking things over with its tail.

[...]

"Right," I say to Agatha. "Okay."

She looks at the floor. "I'm sure my parents will still send gifts."

"I'll send them a card."

"That would be nice," she says. "Thank you."

GENUINELY SO FUCKING SAD OVER THIS?????

like ok agatha's not perfect & i know i've generally been in her corner but this is straight up like. a mean thing to do gjdkfjslgksdjkdf

i mean it's one thing not wanting ur ex to come over for christmas, completely understand that, but also. he's been coming over since before they were dating, since his first YEAR at watford, AND she knows he has literally nowhere else to go so he's just like. gonna be alone for christmas i guess????

IDK LIKE I SAID I GET WHY SHE'S DOING IT BUT ALSO I AM SAD FOR SIMON he was looking forward to it he didn't even consider that he might not still be going this year bc it's such a staple for him, like it's not just a breakup he legit considers the wellbeloves as family, or something close to it, and now he's being cut off from that and im just :((((((((((((

I roll my eyes. He probably thinks pixies are a lesser species. Half-sentient, like gnomes and Internet trolls.

*SPITS DRINK* WHAT NOW?????????? HUH??????????????????? U WANNA RUN THAT BY ME AGAIN???????????????????????????????? HELLO??????????????????????

"It's like being a fairy named Mary," he goes on.

"Or a vampire named Gampire," I say.

"Gampire isn't even a proper name, Snow. You're terrible at this game."

GAMPIRE SIMON. GAMPIRE

He still won't talk to us outside of the room.

Baz says it would confuse his minions to see him consorting with the enemy. He actually called them that--"my minions." Maybe he was taking the piss....

My Minions (affectionate)

(honestly after what he said abt internet trolls i wouldn't put it fucking past this universe to have Canonical Minions)

I can't always tell when Baz is mocking me. He's got a cruel mouth. It looks like he's sneering even when he's happy about something.

another one for the autistic simon headcanon, boys

Actually, I don't know if he ever is happy. It's like he's got two emotions--pissed off and sadistically amused.

(And plotting, is that an emotion? If so, three.)

SIMON PLEASE I CAN'T AKGJAGJSLDGDS

Plus Penny doesn't want Baz to know that her family might be on the outs with the Mage. (Even though Baz'd probably sympathize.)

Even Though He'd Sympathize

(let them be allies! stop having them be enemies!)

Penny keeps reminding me that Baz is still my enemy. That when the truce ends, he could use everything he's learned against me.

But I'm not sure I'm the one who needs reminding. Half the time we're together, I'm just sitting on my bed reading while Penelope and Baz are comparing their Top 10 favourite spells of the 1800s or debating the magickal worth of Hamlet versus Macbeth.

GOD they're so FUCKING CUTE

The other day, he walked her over to the Cloisters on his way to the Catacombs. When he came back, he reported that there weren't any clues about how she gets into Mummers House. The next day, she told me he didn't acknowledge at all that he was on his way to suck blood out of rodents.

LMFAOOOOOOOOOO literally besties. literally Companions

"You going my way?" she says to him now, from the doorway.

"No, I'm in for the night," he says.

So fucking weird.

LOL simon bluescreens: a saga

I'm getting my pyjamas together when he speaks up:

"So what's your plan next week? For the holidays?"

BROOOOOOOOOO HE SAID IT

"Snow," he says.

"What."

"You should come to Hampshire."

I stop and look at him. "What? Why?"

HE DEADASS INVITED HIM OVER FOR CHRISTMAS BROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO IM OPEN MOUTH SCREAMINGGGGGGGGG

Baz clears his throat and folds his arms, lifting his chin to emphasize how much he looks down on me.

he's posturing dude he's trying to cover up how much he's screaming on the inside asking you this question show some respect

"You're suggesting I go home with you."

"Yes."

"For Christmas."

"Yes."

"With your family."

Baz rolls his eyes. "Well it's not like you have any family of your own."

"You're mad." I move again towards the bathroom.

"How is it mad?" he demands. "I could use your help, and there's nothing here for you--you'd think you'd appreciate the company."

TEN REASONS WHY SIMON SNOW WOULD BE AN FUCKING IDIOT TO REFUSE MY GENEROUS CHRISTMAS INVITATION:

"I can't stay in your house. Are you kidding me?"

"Snow, we've lived in the same room for seven years. How can you have a problem with this?"

THE DESPERATION..... THE JUMPS IN LOGIC...... BAZ PLEASE YOURE INSANE

"She's sent his Men away again," Penny says. "Premal says the Mage himself is coming to the house next time."

"Then I should be there," I say. "He'd never hurt her in front of me."

Penny stops in her tracks. "Simon. Do you really think the Mage would hurt my mother at all?"

I stop, too. "No. Of course he wouldn't."

O O F

😬

"Tell the Mage you're staying here for Christmas," she says. "He'll want to spend it with you."

That makes me laugh.

"What?" Penny asks.

"Can you imagine?" I say. "Christmas with the Mage?"

[...] "Think of the gifts," I say, laughing. "He'd probably wrap up a curse for me just to see if I could break it."

"Blindfold you, drop you in the Hell of the Wood, and tell you to come home with dinner."

"Ha!" I grin. "Just like in our third year."

the fact that they're joking that if the mage gave simon christmas gifts they'd just be more of the trials and tribulations he's been putting on him since he was like 12?????? HELLO???????

not to read too much into it but ZOOMS IN the way that simon's relationship w the mage is such that to imagine spending a holiday usually reserved for friends and family with him is SO ABSURD he can't even take it seriously, like the mage falls so far out of the categories of friend or family, their relationship is in no way sentimental but rather Strictly Business i.e. the mage setting Tasks for simon to complete like a fuckin rat in a maze, this whole excerpt just speaks volumes about their dynamic in contrast to the feelings simon has expressed on the matter in the past, in this essay i will

He closes the lid of his trunk and snaps the latches. Then he looks at me, frowning, and decides something. I'm familiar with that look. I put my hand over the hilt of my sword.

LOL LMAOOOO GOD

"Snow....," he says.

"What."

"I feel like I should tell you something. In the interest of our truce."

I look over at him, waiting.

"That day you saw Wellbelove and me in the Wood..."

need to officially document that the second i read this line i shoved my face into my pillow and Had Emotions for a second

I open my eyes. "You weren't trying to pull my girlfriend?"

"No."

"Sod off," I say. "You've been trying to get between me and Agatha since the day she chose me over you."

"She never chose you over me."

"Get over yourself, Baz.

He looks pained; that's a new one. "No," he goes on. "What I'm saying is--I've never been an option for Wellbelove."

SCREAMS SCREAMS WAILS AND SCREAMS HELLO HELLOOOOOOO??????????? IS HE LITERALLY TRYING TO COME OUT TO SIMON RN HELP HELLO PLEASE???????????? WHAT ELSE COULD HE POSSIBLY MEAN BY THIS IIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

"She interrupted me," he says. "That day in the Wood."

I ignore him.

"She interrupted my dinner. She saw me. I was asking her not to tell anyone."

OUGUGHGHUHOUGHG ???!?!!?!!!?!???!?!?!?! HE'S BEING VAGUE ABOUT IT BUT STILL GOD THIS IS SO CLOSE THIS IS LIKE TEETERING ON THE EDGE OF IT HES TRYING SO DAMN HARD AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

"in the interest of our truce" MY ASS u are doing this for ur WHOLE ASS SELF "hmm what can i do to maybe make snow hate me a little less Oh I Know" FJGOFUGJFJGJ THOUGHT PROCESS EXPOSED

"And you had to hold her hands for that?"

"I only did that bit to piss you off. I knew you were watching."

"Well, it worked," I say.

popped him out of existence like an angry little pimple

"You're not listening." He's looking very pained now. "I'm not ever going to come between you and Wellbelove. I was always just trying to piss you off."

it's 3 am and i am kicking my legs and squealing and going like AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA i am PROCESSING FUCK

maybe not DIRECTLY coming out but at LEAST trying to communicate that he isn't interested in agatha and wasn't trying to ruin simons fucking love life (even tho we all know secretly he was)

but why is he looking so pained if he's NOT trying and failing to communicate that hes gay. maybe it's just that he's being genuine for probably the first time ever on purpose and it's going right the fuck over simon's head and making him even MORE pissed at him and gkagjsodgsdgkd

"Are you saying you flirted with Agatha just to hurt me?"

"Yes."

"You never cared about her?"

"No."

I grit my teeth. "And you think I want to hear that?"

"Well, obviously. Now you can make up with her and have the best Christmas ever."

WAS THAT THE REASON. HE FELT BAD THAT HIS MEDDLING CAUSED SIMON TO BE ALONE FOR CHRISTMAS AND HIS ONE ATTEMPT TO MAKE UP FOR IT BY INVITING SIMON OVER FAILED SO NOW HES LIKE I GUESS I'LL HAVE TO GET THEM BACK TOGETHER BC HE ASSUMES THE REASON THEYVE BROKEN UP IS BECAUSE OF THAT DAY IN THE WOOD

he's GENUINELY trying to do simon a solid even tho it means they might get back together which he doesn't want to see but he feels he owes it to him especially with the truce at play I?????????!!!!!!?!?!!!??????!!!!

im actually gonna SCREAM

"You're such an arse!" I say, jumping to my feet and charging at him.

"Anathema!" he shouts, and I hear him, but I almost plant my fist in his jaw anyway.

INVOKING THE PROTECTION OF ANATHEMA IN THE FACE OF IMMINENT DISASTER it will never get old it will NEVER not be so fucking good

imagine at some point in the future they're not even in their room but they start fighting and one of them yells ANATHEMA out of habit

Anathema Cant Save U Now Bitch *gives the wedgie of a lifetime*

"She was carrying around your bloody handkerchief, that whole time you were gone. Since last year."

"What handkerchief?"

I go to the drawer where the handkerchief is shoved in

KEEPS IT IN HIS DRAWER,

with my wand and a few other things, then I wave it in his face. "This one."

Baz pulls the fabric out of my hand, and I pull it right back because I don't want him to have it. I don't want him to have anything right now.

LMFAO NOT THE DOUBLE SNATCH

NOT THE "FUCK YOU UNPULLS YOUR HANDKERCHIEF" REVERSAL

"Look," he says. "I'll stop. I'll leave Wellbelove alone from now on. She doesn't matter to me."

"That makes it worse!'

"Then I won't stop!" he says, like he's the one who should be angry. "Is that better? I'll damned well marry her, and we'll have the best-looking kids in the history of magic, and we'll name them all Simon just to get under your skin."

LOL LOL LOL LMAO LOL LMAO LMAO BAZ LMFAO BAZ SCREAMS

"Just go!" I shout. "Seriously. If I have to look at you anymore, I won't even care about the Anathema. If I get kicked out of Watford, at least I'll finally be done with you!"

oh SHIT he's not fuckign playing around baz u gotta get outta there he's gonna kill u in real life hgjfugjfugkdjgkdf

absolutely tragic. he tried so hard to make peace HE TRIED TO MAKE AMENDS IN THE NAME OF THEIR TRUCE and all he did was make things fucking worse AND THE WEEK BEFORE CHRISTMAS NO LESS

genuinely tho poor baz :( legit tried to make an effort and it blew up in his face

i mean it IS his fucking fault but STILL

it reminds me of before, back towards the beginning of the book, when simon was recounting the chimera incident and talked about how baz was shouting at him and "accidentally" told him what using magic felt like to him, when in reality he was offering genuine advice to help him in a dire situation

this again is an example of miscommunication as a result of their years long rivalry, because simon is basically incapable of registering anything other than antagonism on baz's part, he literally just always assumes the worst of him. so when baz Actually goes out of his way to be helpful or anywhere within the realm of amicable his intentions just fly right the fuck over simon's head because anything baz does gets put thru a Bad Faith filter before it even reaches simon's critical thinking center and he just goes Yeah Right Asshole every time

and this time especially went south bc simon is still very much hurting over the breakup and still 1000% blames baz so of Course when baz says shit like "yea no idgaf about agatha i was just trying to piss u off" simon's not gonna hear "oh baz isn't actually a romantic rival so there's no threat to mine and agatha's relationship" he's gonna be like "SO U RUINED MY RELATIONSHIP FOR NO FUCKING REASON U WEREN'T EVEN TRYING TO STEAL MY GIRLFRIEND U LITERALLY JUST WANTED TO SEE ME MISERABLE 😡😡😡"

which TBF is all literally true LMAO

so basically baz's plan to save simon's christmas fucking backfired to hell and back which is why he finally snaps and gets pissed at the end, because he can't fucking do anything right and now simon's For Real mad at him and he doesn't even have a date to the prom

[Baz] I was trying to do Snow a favour.

A favour that doesn't serve my interests at all--at all.

yeah??????????????? Yeah????????????????? Are U Sure About That

I bloody well should marry Wellbelove. My father would love it.

Marry her. Give her the keys to whatever she wants keys to. Then find a thousand men who look exactly like Simon bloody Snow and break each of their hearts a different way.

LOLLLLLLLL Bring In The Twink Parade Tell Them All That They Bombed The Modeling Audition And They're Banned From Their Local Sephoras

I didn't expect to mend any fences with all this...co-operating. I didn't expect to convince or convert Snow. But I thought we were making progress.

SOBBING AND WAILING

Like, maybe when this was all over, he and I would still be standing on either side of the trench, but we wouldn't be spitting at each other. We wouldn't be spoiling for the fight.

I know Simon and I will always be enemies....

But I thought maybe we'd get to a point where we didn't want to be.

U CANT DO THIS TO MEEEEEEE WHAT DO U MEANNNNNN 😭😭😭😭😭

ANY time baz uses simon's 1st name gets me in my fuckin heart BUT THIS ONE HURTS SO BAD AAAAAAAAAAAAA "i know simon and i will always be enemies" SNIFFLING AND HICCUPING AND WHIMPERING UAUAAAHGHG

the way he only does this shit when he's being Genuine and Unguarded abt his feelings for simon i. I!!!!!! i can't do it bro i cant take this anymore im literally gonna snap like a dry ass twig this is a TARGETED ATTACK,,,, ON MY FEELINGS,

he wants it so bad he wants simon so bad but he has to be Realistic he can't even hope for a future in which they're together he's SETTLING for this fantasy in which maybe, just maybe they can get to a point that they're not right at each other's throats, that he isn't completely despised by the one person he cares about most- he's hoping for the bare minimum, not even a happy ending but just the bare minimum of mutual reluctance to fight- and he can't even have THAT

the line between "lol rip baz" and "SOBBING AND WHEEZING LET HIM BE HAPPY" is a FINE ONE and all it takes is one funny lil pov switch and some vulnerability to make me pop like a go-gurt getting stomped into the playground

MAKE-A ME SAD :((((

---

alright so i LIED about catching up to where i was this time gjgksdjfkjdg BUT IN MY DEFENSE THEY WERE BEING SO SOFT AND GAY,,, AND THEN THEY THREW MY HEART AGAINST THE WALL LIKE A WET PAPER TOWEL,,,,, HOW WAS I NOT SUPPOSED TO LOSE MY SHIT OVER THAT

so correction: NEXT TIME we might catch up to where i left off gjdfkjskdgsdfndgjdfj (did you see it??? the inclusion of the word "might", implying the possibility that we won't actually catch up next time,)

i make no promises c ya ✌️

#retag later #ss blogging #u know what i get a free pass on tag talking in these posts i already said So Much in the liveblog i'm all worded out #words out of stock. check back tomorrow]

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jentlemahae · 2 years

Note

I am turning into toxic Jennie and Jeno solo stan rn fr. Look, I do think NO ONE deserved hatred over what happened (either J x V, J x M) but it's so funny to see how differently people react. I would also like to point out I love NCT, BP and TWICE. However, the way * acted during this whole mess is so disgusting, imagine pushing 30 and being more scared of your insane 14 yo fanbase than to have the balls to defend the woman you supposedly date. He deserves to be held accountable fr. (1/?)

I remember ONCES riding the whole "Jennie is industry bike/whore/whatever" narrative into the sunset and many of them enjoyed every second of it. I was part of TWICE stan groupchat and so many of the members were saying horrible, disgusting things about Jennie and supporting * out of spite. Not all of them, but many of them didn't mind insane slutshaming, rape threats, etc. HOWEVER when the Jeno x Mina thing happened, I have seen so many "woman respectors", literally the same people riding the hate wave against Jennie. I have seen people (both Onces and not) crying about how we should defend Mina (I mean I agree but only people bitching were Nomin shippers no one else), hold men accoutable for the suffering of women, people calling him too ugly and irrelevant, and how "new Jennie x * is happening". At least Jeno didn't act like a spineless fucking cunt like * did. He's already posting on Bubble and nothing on IG. People troll the shit out of him currently and the same NCT fanbases I have seen reporting on the thing ignore us asking them to simply telling people stop to mention it anymore bc it's just silly. Also let's not act as if NCTzens/Jenozens are nowhere as insane and hateful as ***/* stans are. So basically with Mina it's "respect woman slutshaming is horrible" (I agree) but with Jennie it's "she's attention-seeking whore who deserves it". With Jeno it's "hold men accountable for the suffering of women", but with * it's awww poor little meow meow, seduced by big bad slutty woman!!! I hate everyone fr

yep yep yep :| obviously i think NO ONE should get hate for things like this but the way jn is the only one who gets hate to this extent in kpop is disgusting and actually scary…..like what has that woman done to yall to cause this kind of hatred and vileness that leads people to say the most disgusting things ever ?? like do u think u made ur fave proud by making r/pe jokes at the expense of someone else ????

and yeah he just seems so spineless to me, cant even defend ur s/o against a bunch of insane teenagers who call themselves ur fans and hang from ur every word like ur a god.. just so cowardly imo. also like idk but if i were a woman in kpop id be avoiding any male idol like the plague, id find myself a normie man who’s fans wouldn’t launch a whole witch-hunt against me 😐 jn needs to find her joe (pisces) man!

and tbh idk if jenozens are more or less insane than * stans (i think less but that’s just my experience! 🤷🏻‍♀️) but there way less of them out there so there’s obviously less attention on the situation, and there’s not really bad blood between nctzens and onces, whereas blinks and the soldiers are sworn enemies. also * stans are some of the most insane of *** subfandoms while jenozens are one of the most normal subfanbases in nct (lol) 🥴 so i think it’s really apples and oranges

#sophie ask #anonymous

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moemammon · 3 years

Note

thiS THOUGHT WON'T LEAVE MY MIND AND IDK WHY 💀

ken u do a hc of how the brothers would react to mc playing russian roulette with other demons? 💀💀

The Demon Bros react to GN!MC Playing Russian Roulette

(CW: for mild angst and guns. But don't worry, it's just a realistic looking dart gun! But the Bros dont know that-)

Lucifer

Why can't you be normal

If catching his attention was your goal, you've fuckin got it

Not only does he swoop in and snatch that gun away where did you even GET THIS

But he's never letting you hear the end of it. "What if you'd hurt yourself? Did it ever occur to you that you aren't immortal? What sort of idiotic-"

You manage to tell him that the gun was a fake, but he doesn't calm down. He's seriously considering you stringing you up from the rafters for that stunt-

Good luck doing literally anything ever again without supervision because you're basically grounded. Hope it was worth it 😔✌️💦

Mammon

He's supposed to be making sure you don't die, AND THEN YOU PLAY A GAME WHERE THERE'S A HIGH POSSIBILITY OF DEATH

He's going to hoist you over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes and nag at you for the rest of your life

"I know I call ya a dumb human all the time, but I didn't think you'd SERIOUSLY be this stupid! What are ya, some kinda masochist?! Idiot! Fool! Stupid!"

He's mad at you. Ignores you even when you tell him the gun was a fake. No talk him he's angy.

When he does realize it was a fake, he does the whole tsundere thing. "Of course I knew it was a fake! The Great Mammon knows a real gun when he sees it! I-I wasn't worried about ya or anything, damn it!"

Yeah ok mammon so why are you still holding my hand huh

Levi

When you said you were going out to play a game with some friends, he didn't think you meant something like thiS

Can't you just stay inside and play video games??? You don't have extra lives irl MC why do you do these things

SMACKS that (fake) gun away and drags you home by the hand.

Safely secures you in his room so he can rant in privacy. You're not getting out of that TSL marathon that easily, MC. You promised!

"What are you trying to do?! You'll die if you actually mess up, you know that?! Was there really a bullet in there?? Do you have brain damage??????"

SO embarrassed when you tell him it was a fake. Keeps calling you a "Stupid normie, playing stupid normie games..." but also wants to know where you got that from because it was a really good replica and he could use it for cosplay-

Satan

And here he thought Mammon was the only idiot in the house of lamentation. Guess you learn something new everyday :)

He's eerily calm when he literally crushes that gun to smithereens and drags you away by the arm

He's pissed off, so it takes a while for him to realize that the gun definitely felt like plastic and was not real

So once he DOES come to that conclusion, he's embarrassed about how he reacted.

Especially since he went and wouldn't let you leave his room, and lectured you for an hour...

"Honestly... You really scared me, you know? But I guess you wouldn't be dumb enough to play around with a real gun..."

Asmo

Noooo don't kill yourself ur so beautiful haha :)

Kidding, he's full on PANICKING when he sees you're about to pull that trigger against your head

Whisks you away like a ballerina on steroids and rushes you to the nearest empty place, so he can check you over for injuries.

When he confirms you're okay, his hands on on his hips and he's glaring daggers at you with those big, teary eyes.

"MC! Do you have any IDEA how afraid I was?! What were you THINKING, playing around with something so dangerous! What would I do if my precious MC got hurt???"

Hella relieved when you tell him it's a fake, but he's still irritated. Next time, pick a game that doesn't look so unseemly! He was really scared!!

Beel

Boy literally drops everything, including the box of celestial realm macarons he just got from Luke

Picks you up and tosses you over his shoulder, yeeting that gun away.

He's convinced one of these demons taught you a horrible game out of spite. Maybe he should eat them to teach them a lesson?

He's determined to march you all the way back home despite your struggling and protests. It takes you telling him that the gun was a fake for him to stop walking and put you down

"...So it was just a harmless game? MC, I was really afraid. I thought you were going to get hurt."

You made him drop his macarons,,,, over a dumb game,,,,, his macarons,.,,,,,,

Belphie

You don't have the time to react before you feel Belphie grab the back of your shirt and pull you away. He's the only one allowed to kill you 😡

He's quiet the entire time too; an obvious sign that he's upset. And he just pushes you onto his bed without saying anything

Hops in and clings to you like a koala, squeezing you so tight you swear you heard something crack

".....I know it was fake. I realized it when the gun fell. But... I was really scared, MC. I'm mad at you."

His hold loosens up a little and he finally looks at you, and his face is red all over. "Idiot. Take this."

Enjoy dying by being tickled to death. You deserve it.

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1990jeevas · 3 years

Note

goth kid headcanons, gimmie. -Batz 🖤💜

cracking my knuckles and snickering gayly lets go

pete:

-ends up being the shortest goth by the time theyre all in high school (with the exception of firkle who is still in middle school, but he is also taller)

-hello trans dude. i see u. he/they/it + neos

-listens to evanescence more than he'd like to admit

-his favorite color is teal but it doesnt look good on him so he sticks with red and purple, both of which he likes and looks good in

-he is absolutely horrendous when it comes to dying his hair despite the fact that his hair is the hardest to dye and maintain out of all four of his friends. you'd assume he wouldve learned at some point after years of having it done but he is just Clueless. henrietta is the one who bleaches and dyes it red, michael helps with buying him stuff thatll maintain the color longer, firkle reminds him when he needs a touch up. his hair would be a mess without them.

-writes to fruitiest poems about michael but like. in the most gruesome ways possible? like they are very gorey but in a romantic way. michael finds them endearing. firkle would be lying if he said he wasnt a bit concerned.

-going off that ^ pete is a hopeless romantic and his love language is gift giving. he's always getting the homies shit they dont need but he knows they want and it's gotten to the point where they have to not say when they like things just so he stops spending money

-has a big sweet tooth (which is basically canon, have yall seen how much sugar he puts into his coffee?) but he pretends he doesnt

michael:

-is very bad with expressing himself verbally so he writes long ass essays when he is upset or needs help or whatever and gives them to the goths

-the groups resident slur sayer. stop calling ur boyfriend a faggot in public before u get ur shit rocked pls-

-is on honor roll and he is embarrassed by it just bc south park gives them like. t shirts and shit as a "reward"? it's weird as fuck.

-wants to be a piercer when he gets older, has given firkle and pete a couple piercings

-has a stick and poke of a cat on his ankle from craig. it was an odd experience but he still likes it.

-his favorite movie is donnie darko. he does not understand the plot At All.

-even tho giving (+ recieving) compliments makes him uncomfortable, he tries to give them to his friends bc he knows they all get shit from other people for various reasons and he doesnt want it to affect them. he hopes it balances out or smth

-him and henrietta have best friend necklaces made out of resin encased bugs

-has broken his nose at least twice in a moshpit

-really likes collecting rocks <3

henrietta:

-is the mom friend but like. an aggressively caring way.

-is naturally a blonde but she dyes her hair black. only her family and the goths really know

-also on honor roll but she is very proud of it <3

-she is tall!! like 5'11" ish!!!

-is the laziest when it comes to doing makeup out of the four of them. literally just puts on bottom eyeliner then Goes. meanwhile pete and firkle are out here doing a full face every morning and michael is color correcting his eyebags just to REAPPLY MAKEUP OVER THEM.

-wears rings on every single finger bc she likes the jingle jangle

-always writes personalized stories for each goth during the holiday season

-really good at math but hates doing it

-resident mean lesbian <3 just wants her boys to shut up so she can think about Girls

-does the whole groups nails every week for funsies

-her room has an oogie boogie shrine that freaks michael out. he is not a fan of the big bag man. thinks the movie mightve given him a lasting fear of Just oogie boogie.

-has somehow befriended kenny wendy and pip. they are her normie exceptions <3

-weirdly good at fps games considering she doesnt like them

firkle:

-threatens everyone. sometimes he means it. he is like the worlds shittiest chihuahua that just barks at everyone and you can never tell when he's gonna actually bite.

-trans dude no2. he/it. maims cis peo-

-listens to n unhealthy amount of metal music in his free time

-very into candles and incense, it drives pete crazy bc he has a sensitive nose

-the other goths have never seen his house bc firkle thinks his parents would be very weird about him having only older friends

-has a soft spot for shows like beyblade digimon and adventure time

-once watched all of switched at birth by himself just so he had something new to complain about everytime he met up with the goths. they offered to watch with him and he gave a very firm no.

-wants a pet opossum more than anything

-love language is being way too protective of ur friends who are way older than you and can handle themselves

-big dnd nerd

-in dire need of a regular sleep schedule but he also hates sleeping bc it feels like "wasted time"

-doesnt like asking for help but he tries to anyways bc he knows it makes the others happy

#shit self #asks #batz anon tag 🖤💜#goth kids #henrietta biggle #pete thelman #michael (sp)#firkle smith #south park #headcanons #kinz

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mueritos · 3 years

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I really like the punk aesthetic and the idea of rebelling against the system and everything and everyone that pisses you off, but I'm worried that when I try to get into it I'm just being a poser and I don't wanna come off that way. How can I make sure I'm genuinely getting into this stuff and not just bastardizing punk for my frivolous interests?

hiya! One of the best things you can do to remain genuine to the scene is learning the history, listening to the music, and never buy your way into it. You do technically have to listen to the music as most of these subcultures are musically influenced, and it would look pretty bad on you if you weren't aware of or listened to some alt music. Do you have to listen to all of it? no! especially since so many of the alt/punk bands that are more popular/recommended are full of problematic ppl (bigots, abusers, ableists, etc). find ur lil punk brand of music that u like and start branching out from there.

You don't even have to dress punk to enjoy the music if you're unsure about whether or not the fashion is for you, but there are lots of aspects about punk that you can pick and choose to wear from if you'd like. Patches, the jewelry, hair styles, etc, simple things like that can be a way of signaling other punks that you're in the scene to some extent. I dress alt, but I don't do it every day, and even on "normie" days, there's ways you can accessorize to still look punk (band shirt, patches, pins, spiked bracelets/collars). Alt folk don't dress alt everyday because it is often a complex fashion (a lot more complex than people realize), and for some of us, it can be dangerous being seen in such fashion in some places. Never let anyone call you a poser just cuz you aren't in punk 24/7.

What I also mean by "don't buy your way into it" is to DIY as much as you can. DIY your rips, your distresses, your patches, you clothes, your hair, etc! If you want to buy certain DIY'ed items, make sure theyre from another punk or marginalized person so the money isn't going toward corporations. Try to steer away from fast fashion and buy secondhand and thrift. I personally like to thrift and depop all of my clothes, and I buy patches from small etsy/depop shops and artists. You shouldn't have to worry about being called a poser in the alt scene as long as you aren't spending $200 on a pre-studded/patched battle jacket from killstar lol.

respect the history and the scene, especially when it comes to marginalized liberation and marginalized communities' contributions to alt and subcultures. punk has already been bastardized by corporations, the rich, and by white folks; don't worry about yourself doing it on accident. As long as you arent a classist bigot, you'll be fine.

hope that helped! anyone is welcome to contribute in the notes :)

#muertoresponds #like hell some of us got into the scene during covid #thats my case #so i havent even been to many shows #ghost was my first metal concert #was supposed to see gojira and deftones in 2020 but welp.#so dont stress about feeling like ur still a noobie #becuz a lot of us are #including myself haha #punk

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