#very scary process

[crayonurchin]

First art of the new year is all about re-structuring your internal monologue.

In my early 20s I was working full time in London with many social commitments and a variety of hustles and side projects.

In my later mid 20s I cater to many sensory and social drain needs I have and indulge in special interests while respecting my lower energy reserves and celebrating my different way of processing the world.

Did I get more autistic? Nah. I got less fake.

-

[Art description: Three panels showing figures on a black background. Long descriptions follow.

1. A drawing of OP as a person with hip-length hair and a dress standing sadly with her hands clapsed together in front of her. She is coloured a muted rainbow gradient. Behind her, two pairs of nondescript figures chat while smiling. White text says, ‘I’m getting more and more autistic the older I get.’ 2. OP’s colours are brighter, and her expression looks happier. Crayon-like scribbles have crossed out the text from the previous panel. 3. OP’s colours are vibrant, and she balances on one leg and throws her arms out as she dances. The text above has changed to say, ‘I’m becoming more and more myself the older I get.’ \End descriptions]

#urchin art #autism #autistic #neurodivergent #neurodiversity #actually autistic #autistic things #autistic adult #autistic artist #autistic community #listen- the process of unmasking every fiber of your fabricated being is difficult #figuring out who you are behind the mask is scary #but continuing to act in a play where only you got no script is officially cringe #(this is me waxing poetic I am very aware of the safety needs of masking but that's not the point) #the point is ask yourself #are you getting MORE xyz? #Or are you becoming MORE of you?

[stil-lindigo]

scorched earth.

a comic about a princess who died in a fire.

(this is a sequel to bite of winter, a comic about Snow and what became of her after her death.)

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creative notes:

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all my other comics

store

#cw: blood #cw: beheading #cw:death #cw: gore #cw: burning alive #so nice of ash to have prepared a barbequed buffet ready for snow when she arrives #if it wasn't made clear enough ash did die in that fire #she just did it while taking down as many people as she could in the process. and now shes a smoke monster #and yes. the fire powers do imply she's not quite human. but shes human enough to fall in love and die and thats enough. #im sorry this comic took me so long. i had about a week where i was very depressed and nothing got done. #thank you for your patience #and as always #thank you for reading #comic art #sapphic art #lgbt #horror #somehow not as scary as snow but ash is still fearsome in her own way #stillindigo art #stillindigo comics

[greykolla-art]

have you ever shared your comic making process? im super interested in seeing how you go about everything from start to finish!

#grey answers #grey’s art process #grey will not gatekeep any knowledge! #this is all very messy and approachable ! #come play in the mud with me kids! #comic process #comic making #kill your perfectionism kids! #😂😂😂 #hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel comic #I should say I’ve been drawing non stop for like 20 years too and got a diploma in illustration #but still this is just twigs and mud nothing scary!

[pink-sheep]

OB!Nightbringer expectation: their avatars changed their nice angel personalities as soon as they fall, causing them to be very mean and scary in the past.

OB! Nightbringer reality: the brothers are nice and (still kind of) good because they're still adjusting to being a demon in the past.

#i didn't realize that them transforming from angel to demon is a process #i dont know if i like it or not #i was kind of looking forward to them being very mean and scary towards us haha #like meaner than they were in the original obey me #obey me shall we date #obey me nightbringer #obey me mammon #obey me lucifer

[moonshynecybin]

https://www.tumblr.com/moonshynecybin/744318694337970176/the-spectrum-of-vr46-riders-opinion-on-marc-is

Please break it down 🙏🏼🙏🏼

scholars in the replies to my original post @topnotchquark and @xoxogossipzoe... we were actually communicating telepathically here

like. its incredibly revealing in terms of their sense of self and what they think is important wrt vale and the interplay of their own identity… it’s about how they individually— as people who idolize, know, and owe humongous amounts of their success to valentino rossi— conceptualize themselves as separate entities from him. do they want to be their own person (luca). will they take his vendettas unto themselves (bez). is it worth it bc they owe him. is it worth it bc they want him to be proud of them. is it not worth it at all. do you think it’s normal to hate marc bc he wronged vale eight years ago. when you were a child.

the other biggest part is like. marc is fucking annoying. he pisses people off all of the time. and they’re vr46 riders, so everything that they do concerning marc will be seen as a message from vale’s camp. they are all looped in together under the vr46 brand. a united front. they are his legacy, and in many ways his proxy within the sport whether they want to be or not. so they also have to weigh if its worth it to get into that grade A 100% high quality premium BEEF. do they want that smoke from a pr standpoint (pecco does not). and do they want to make an enemy of a CRAZY MAN who is the only one to permanently get under valentino rossi’s skin. all of the academy’s members in the premiere class have individual answers to these questions and i think they’re VERY revealing in terms of their character…

#imagine dealing with all of that crazy shit and then he’s really kind when you have a very scary crash #probably an odd thing to process for franky. #motogp #callie speaks #asks #rosquez

[luck-of-the-drawings]

OOH YEAH BABY! PARTY TIME BABY! MUSIC! DRINKS! SOCIAL PRESSURE & A PSYCHEDELIC BREAK DOWN! WELCOME TO VAMPIRE SOCIETY MOTHERFUCKER! ARE YOU SCARED? DO YOU UNDERSTAND YET? ITS OKAY IF NOT. FIRE DISSOLVED IT! ITS ALL GONE NOW. HAVE FUN!

#jrwi fanart #jrwi show #jrwi suckening #jrwi suckening spoilers #RRAAHH IM IN LOVE WITH THIS SHOW SOOO GOODDAMN MUCH!! each o these characters has STOLEN my HEART!!! #LIKE EMIZEEELLL i love emizel so much.. runnin around announcing that HE isa PRINCE while shiloh FINALLY quietly clicks the pieces together #nathan hanover you MADMAN!!! that slow dramatic guitar riff as emizel makes that announcement was so fuckin COOL UGHHHH #MR HANOVER DOES IT AGAIN just creating tracks that absoultely WORM into my MIND and HHEAARRT UUGHHGHH #emizel is so cool and so funny and so adorable UUGHH ill gush abt him more when i finally post my emizel n soda doodle page #ARTHUR FUCKING BENNET. i totally get why grizz has a hard time playing him. hes cool and stoic n its not easy to play a man o little words #BUT BBOOOY DOES HE DO IT WELL!! arthur DOES come off as so stoic n cool & it just makes his lil misfortunes all the more charming #like falling into the red fear or confrontin edward twilight or accidentally doing lsd. I LOVE THATS HES THE BAD LUCK GUY. #okay uhhu uhh i have limited room here what else should i say uhh. THE NPCS. MY GOD THE NPCS. CHARLIE U WONDERFUL MADMAN #edward twilight is SUCH a funny fucking antagonist. and supposedly his magic stuff is super scary?? SO EXCITED TO SEE MORE OF THAT #ill ramble abt mr deacon keller later eheh i have a. uh. a doodle page in the works. so in the meantime DAYBRINGER SOLOMON!! #“HERE COMES THE SUN MOTHERFUCKER!” “ILL SEE YOU IN HELL. NOT. IM GOING TO HEAVEN. BITCH.” like come on now. oh my god. i need him #BIG POWERFUL BEAST AND EVERY WORD HE SAYS HAS ME CRACKING UP. THE MUFFLED VOICE IN THE DARK BROKEN BY “LIGHT!” #TRULY HILARIOUS AND YET TRULY HORRIFYING. I FUCKIN LOVE CHARLIE NPCS SO MUCH. I HOPE WE SEE HIM AGAIN OHH MY GOOOODDD #OKAYokay. im normal now. ill talk abt the piece. if u read my tags this far then u get special secret knowledge abt the artistic process #IM VERY HAPPY WITH MY COLORS! i know they were hallucinating on drugs so i just recalled the times i did drugs & used that as my influence #REMEMBER KIDS! acid is totally fine if ur safe and responsible about it. do acid and then stare at my art for a bit trrruuust me. IT MOVES! #anyway i think thats all my thoughts here. thank you for looking at my art n thanku if ur one o the ppl that says nice things in the tags #U are LITERLY my life blood i pick up each of u n kiss u so sweetly on the head. remember to try acid!!!!

[iraprince]

Hiii, i love your stuff and kinda from a distance really look up at you for, in my perception, being able to express yourself without giving a fuck. Thats sick dude, Im so so afraid, of absolutely everything, its nice to think like i might grow into someone less apologetic of my existence. Nice to see people just being yknow

hey, thank you, this is really really nice. the secret that is probably not a secret is that i am also deeply afraid a lot of the time lmao -- but less than i used to be, and in ways that feel less stifling and self-suffocating, if that makes sense.

like, it used to be "i'm scared that if i express myself the way i want to, everyone will find me obnoxious, so let's just sand those edges down to be safe" -- now my fears are more like "now that i'm expressing myself in a way that feels natural and real, i'm afraid that it's all stupid/vapid/not worthwhile or meaningful" (<- specifically abt my art) or "i'm happy that i talk and act the way i want to now, but what if it makes me impossible to befriend," etc etc etc. which still feels bad and puts me in a funk a lot of the time but at least it's a fear that comes After/in reaction to doing stuff, rather than a fear that STOPS me from doing stuff, you know? like, it's evolved into a kind of fear that's less in my way.

anyway. i believe you'll experience something like this, because wanting to grow is the first step of growing. the fact that u hope or wish for something different means you're already on your way. to fewer fucks!! or at least distributing the fucks u give in a way that serves u better

#stuff like accepting that i'm reserved and i'm not very accessible via messages. #or that my online tone isn't very bubbly and it's weird and uncomfortable to force it. #i stop letting fears about that shape my behavior ('i'll look mean or snotty so let's force markers of Friendliness to avoid that!!') - #- and instead act the way i want to and then trade it in for new fears that come After the action. #also a good reminder to give urself is that if ur fear is abt how other ppl perceive u (as 90% of mine is personally) #u really... can't actually control that. and being very very anxious abt it all the time is usually ur brain throwing a tantrum abt not-- #--having that control. bc it is understandably very scary that u don't have that control #as much as it sucks + is terrifying the truth is the only thing u can do is ask urself 'am i behaving in a way that i'm proud of' #'am i behaving in a way that's in alignment w my values + what i think is important' #bc if the answer to that is yes and somebody hates u or is deeply offended by ur existence anyway. well. literally not ur problem #but obv being at peace w that is way way easier said than done + requires tons of practice and will take. probably. years. which is fine #i am stuck with myself. i can either contort myself forever trying to be someone everyone will like and find totally nonthreatening and- #inoffensive and in the process exhaust myself totally and never feel safe or natural myself. OR #i can say okay. so i am a kind of prickly guy with stern and drab speech patterns and close to no social energy. and i think i can still be #-sexy and fun this way. and it is up to other ppl to figure out if they can agree w me on that #ANYWAY enough rambling for now. just another one of those things i think abt a lot so i have a lot of ready-made sentences abt it in mind

[tabooiart]

shock. horror. awe. i drew prusty again. totally out of character for me

photo that this is based on under the cut :3

#my art #fanart #stex #starlight express #prusty #pearl the observation car #rusty the steam engine #pearl stex #rusty stex #dramatic lighting is very scary. a very trust the process moment #GOD i love prusty so much #the picture this is a redraw of is probably my favorite prusty picture ever #its just so THEM the tenderness the emotions the love

[lifeonmvrs]

good omens broke me so now i’m learning how to paint nebulas (wip. still a loooottt to work on)

[Image Description: A digital painting of a nebula/nebulae. At the top left corner there’s red dust forming a little heart. The rest of the drawing is still unfinished and shows nebulae of different colors like light blue, orange, yellow, and green. Behind the nebulae, little and big stars are visible. Second image is close-up of the top left corner. /end ID]

#NEBULAE ARE SO FUN TO DRAW GUYS!!! but it is also a very long process ☹️ #it’s my first time doing something like this and it was really scary starting #but i think i’m getting the hang of it :] #my first attempt was SHIT. but i’m learning lmao 😭 #anyway watch good omens season 2 on amazon prime SO WE CAN GET SEASON THREE PLEAAASSEEEE #good omens #good omens 2 #aziracrow #gonna add them later. first im focusing on the background lol #wip #work in progress #digital art #art #fanart #nebulae #space #space art #nebula art #nebulae art #nebula #my art

[slaughterfreak]

very different media from what i usually post but mommy long legs redesign

#poppy playtime #mommy long legs #basic thought process was: i tried to make her very typical 'girl toy' (pink and sparkly) #while indulging more in the spider theme bc apparently her og design is supposed to resemble a spider #and i could NOT tell so i amplified it without going too far to the point itd be scary for a kid... because she's at the end of the day #a kid's toy. so ^_^ #slaughterfreaks gallery #i don't quite know what tws to put on this #scopophobia tw

[nonbinaryspacegoo]

you make a derisive comment about me as i walk past

"what was that?" i demand, swinging around

in fear you try to insist it was nothing

"no really, say it again, i dont think i heard you right" i insist menacingly

everyone holds their breath in terrified silence as i glare

no one knows i have audio processing disorder and im not even sure if whatever you said was directed at me

#actuallyautistic #actuallyadhd #audio processing disorder #mine #im very big and scary looking and could probably be a real terror for ppl giving me a hard time except i also am almost Completely faceblin #have a poor memory #and can almost never tell what people are saying unless i REALLY focus super hard

[soldier-poet-king]

Mmmmm reading systems collapse and the deep persistent ache abt murderbot and ART's friendship. Btw. If u even care.

#fran reads #head full of many thots but i need to finish the book first #but fundamentally. their friendship is absolutely my fave thing about the series #i am. very attached to them. #but like. emotions. non human personhood. extreme anxiety risk assessment constantly running #too many big bad emotions idk how to process so i am going to watch media about it #and then explain my life experiences via narrative features from said media bc idk how else to be a person or relate to the world #like!!! i get it!!!! my awkward not a real person ass is out here like!!!! i do that!!!! #its not bc i dont want to live and have real experiences its bc idk how and i was a weird isolated kid and a neurodivergent adult #and thats how i understand the world!!! #it is v big and scary and terrible and beautiful and having a frame of reference via fictional narrative to process ur owj experiences #its crucial???? #and i don't mean in a terminally online cannot separate ficiton from reality way #i mean in a storytelling is what ppl do way. not just to be entertained. but to reflect ourselves and understand ourselves. and each other!! #im!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! #ART's you know i am not kind. to mb when it insists it wouldve been kinder to kill it #I WEPT

[loveletterworm]

Cool game where you pick up flashlights off the ground in the dark until you're holding too many flashlights at which point trying to pick up more will make an unfitting cartoon boing sound effect that I had laying around in my downloads folder

#With this process now mostly defeated I must begin to consider my next enemy: #Making an entire roguelike level generation system for some reason despite being stupid. #I don't know why I thought that would be a good idea. I kind of assumed someone else would have written down how this is done. #But it's weirdly difficult to find. #mypost #i think i might make the player sprite randomized as well or maybe just change it #(other than just making it not be a placeholder drawn in 2 seconds.) #because i don't think the little cat thing is very fitting. #i thought making the player a little pudding animal in scary world would be funny and distract from the vaguely derivative concept* #(* it may be diverging into being less derivative) #but i feel like it just kind of looks weird now. it could at least be a different animal... #This just isn't cat behavior. #(you can barely see the sprite because it's dark though so maybe you have no idea what im talking about LOL)

[twelfth-dykector]

IVE GOT MY FIRST PROPER EXAM TOMORROW OOOOOOUUUAAAAGGGGHHHGGBBBHHHHHHHHH

#ITS SPANISH SPEAKING IM SO FUCKED #IVE NEVER PASSED A SPEAKING EXAM #i actually think i'll do okay tho bcs i learnt abit recently💪💪 #still very scary tho. i havent actually processed that its happening yet so im not too stressed

[pinchinschlimbah]

Good evening I'm feeling extremely normal about this outfit and the fact that I don't think I've seen Kyo turn his back to the audience in any of the videos featuring it so that detailing was possibly just for himself and for the recording knowing it would be seen after the fact??? Aaaaaa [x x]

#kyo #sukekiyo #3:38am send post #entering a new fandom especially one I'm so culturally removed from is scary cuz I very well might be talking out my ass #please pardon my ignorance if so #I'm still in the process of digging and learning

[protoformx]

my boyfriend made a shit ass fruit tier list so i, who am seriously allergic to nearly every fruit that exists, am making a correct one!

#kass speaks #i can legitimately only eat about like uhh #10 things off this list without processing them heavily in some way but i used to be able to eat anything!!!! so i know what they taste lik #and all fruit is gifts #a lot of what i haven't eaten isn't often available where i live but also it's very hard to try new things cause im allergic to everything #so like its very scary to have to see how badly I'll be allergic