#was worried it would delete my regular tumblr

[kathaynesart]

Just throwing it out there that I finally have a re-blog Tumblr: @kathaynesartreblogs

So if you see Leo with a bunch of stabby swords reblogging your stuff, it’s me!

#sorry it took so long #I get tech anxiety #was worried it would delete my regular tumblr #I know I’m silly #expect sillies and turtle art mostly

[ev3rgreenxtrees]

Sir.Cuddlesworth

M.S

Synopsis: Back at the triplets’ Boston house, you tend to cuddle with Trevor, the boys’ dog, more often than you do with your boyfriend Matt. So, you decide to be a sweetheart and led him your favorite shark stuffed animal, Sir.Cuddlesworth.

Pairing: Matt Sturniolo X Fem!reader

Warnings: None! just fluff <3

A/N: This was requested, but tumblr decided to be a bitch and delete the request, but here it is anyways! The req was “Trevor steals you from Matt” from anon! Thank you🤍

“Trevor!” You squealed, looking from the couch, at the dog. The dog stopped in his tracks, before looking at you, his tail wagging.

You came to Boston with your boyfriend and his brothers. You had been friends with the boys for as long as you could remember, you were even so close, that you moved to L.A. with them. Nate was offered too, of course, but the boy decided he’d stay in his hometown. It was a regular thing that you’d come back to Massachusetts with the boys, to see your mutual best friend, Nate, the triplets parents, and of course your parents.

You had been dating Matt for the past two years, and everything was going perfectly. You couldn’t deny your feelings for the boy, nor could he deny his for you. You were understandably scared to start the relationship between you two, in fear if you ever broke up that it would ruin your friendship with him and his brothers, but that didn’t seem to be something you would have to worry about. You didn’t plan on breaking up with Matt anytime soon, and he felt the same way towards you,

“No, baby-“ Matt mumbled, his grip around your waist tightening, as you attempted to squirm out of his grasp to get to the dog. “Stay.” Matt firmly spoke, but he knew you wouldn’t listen regardless.

You finally got out of his grip, and you rushed to the floor, Trevor immediately running up to you. He ran into your lap, and Matt let out a pouty groan, as he flipped his body to face the couch, in attempts for you to feel bad for him. You, however, knowing the boy was doing this to be silly, decided to stay with Trevor.

“Hi, Trev! I missed you!” You cooed, and Matt let out another groan, louder than the last. “Matt, hush!” You demanded, and he huffed. You looked down at the dog in your lap, before standing up, holding Trevor in your arms. You made your way up the stairs of the house, as you went into Matt’s childhood bedroom.

You knelt down in front of your still packed suitcase, and pulled out a stuffed animal you brought with you everywhere, Mr.Cuddlesworth. The stuffed animal was a Great White Shark, a fuzzy material that was soft on your skin, the white on the belly turning a slight grey due to its old age.

You took the stuffed animal in your arms, before standing up and walking back downstairs, making sure Trevor was walking close behind you.

You made it back to the couch downstairs, seeing Matt exactly where you left him.

“Baby?” You called out, and he turned around, facing you. “Here.” You smiled, handing him your shark.

“Sir.Cuddlesworth? Whats this for?” He asked confused. You sat back down on the floor, and Trevor crawls back into your lap.

“Now we both have a cuddle buddy.” You smiled brightly.

“Awwwe! You’re so adorable,” Matt chuckled, placing a kiss on the top of your head, and you let out a small giggle. “Thanks for Sir.Cuddlesworth. I’m so grateful to be blessed upon him.” Matt holds the shark up next to him, inhaling your scent.

『 ↳✧･ﾟ Finn yaps❕ ;

Yes, this was supposed to be a short :3 I wanted this one to be short and sweet. <3

˗ˏˋ꒰ 🍒 ꒱ I do NOT give permission for my work to be published on any other site, nor to be claimed as your own . However , reblogs , likes , and comments are much appreciated ! 🤍

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ @bernardenjoyer @lovely-calypso

#sturniolo triplets #chris sturniolo #matt sturniolo #nick sturniolo #christopher sturniolo #fanfic #fluff #nicolas sturniolo #sturniolo fanfic #angst #matt sturniolo fluff #chris sturniolo fluff #nick sturniolo fluff

[auroraeternal]

And last but not least simblreen gift will give you absolutely unique and gothique experience for your sims 3 games. I'm proudly presents you...

BLOODSUCKER UI

This would be a long-read, sorry for that!

I can consider myself one of the quickest creator of the most complete default UI for TS3 😅 But it would be impossible without help of @mookymilksims ❤ I used her BGM UI as a base, also for some reason regular method of creating DRs of loading screen doesn't work for me, so I used @justmiha97 Clean UI Loading Screen as a reference, what files Ii need to replace. And of course dino_rex with this thread on MTS. I also want to give a huge thanks for the testing and taking screenshots of the mod to @sagasimsworld and Mary_WW (she isn't on tumblr), because without them I couldn't find and fix most critical bugs in time. Also, even if most of the UI is replaced and it's fully playable, It's still need polishing and testing, so if you see any bug or some of the parts of UI that looks bad (e.g buttons that are near each other having different shades or smth like that), send me PM or ask with screenshots. Also this mod needs testing with different reshade presets, because I worry that some of them may enhance red colors of the UI and that may cause eyestrain. All screenshots are taken without reshade.

More info and screenshots:

Recolored most of the CAS, CASt, CAP, CAB (plumbots editor), Live mode, Build & Buy mode and Town mode (except map tags):

Loading Screen is compatible with any language (but has only translated in english and russian in main file and ukrainian translation in separated package (AE_BloodsuckerUI_LoadingScreen_UA), that contains translated files only for english and russian version. For working ukrainian translation in english game you need font replacement (Montserrat).

Yeah, image that I used on loading screen is different from that one I showed you on this post (it's my desktop wallpaper now lol). It's because required image for ts3 loading screens is 1024x768, and when I resize original collage it became squished, so I added more images:

In main file of the UI are added this mods, so if you have them, you need to remove it from your game: @fanaskhe-r update of More slots for topical details mod, cmar_nyc's Skintone Panel, Recolored version of Menaceman's Pets Relationships Icons (other relationship headlines recolored as well!).

I created my own replacement for occults in relationship panel, so @sweetdevil-sims icons or removing of halos isn't needed anymore.

For opportunities tab I used recolored correct Shang Simla Forbidden city icon by @thebleedingwoodland, and I definitely recommend installing the whole mod, just delete with S3PE opp_generic_china image so they wouldn't conflict.

Icons are from Freepik. You are allowed to use them for creating "Minimalistic occult relationship panel" with vanilla UI or other UI default.

Also I created compatible and recolored versions for some popular mods, that replaces parts of UI, you can download them in ADDONS archive:

Recolored version of Expanded Tattoo module of Nraas MasterController (installation in Overrides, and don't forget about CmarNYC Tattoos File):

Recolored and compatible version of @lazyduchess Catalog Search Mod (installation in Overrides):

Compatible version of Arro's 4t3 Replacements of Seasons and Lunar Cycle Icons (3 versions, install only one in Overrides folder):

Compatible and/or recolored versions of Gamefreak130 World Loading Screens Overhaul (Choose only one):

Recolored @xiasimla HD icons (both regular and medieval). Totally optional.

Not an actual mod, but desktop icons (.ico format) for TS3 with logo (2 ver.) and plumbob that I created for this UI.

TOU

DOWNLOAD MAIN FILES | ALT

DOWNLOAD ADDONS | ALT

SIMBLR.CC DOWNLOAD

Credits: @mookymilksims, Fanaskher, cmar_nyc, Menaceman44, @thebleedingwoodland, Nraas team, @lazyduchess, Arro, Gamefreak130, @xiasimla for their mods; EA/Maxis, Freepik, Tumblr, Pinterest and Landing for images.

Used programs: Adobe Photoshop, Landing, S3PE, Notepad++, EasySTBL.

Fully compatible and recommended UI mods:

4t3 Cursors by Arro (I don't want make my own custom cursors).

Arro's No mod info.

Nraas Portrait Panel.

Ingredients Thumbnails fix by @tasteslikefridge.

Equestrian Centre map tag replacements by Menacemen.

Rabbitholes Map Tags Visibility Changes.

Font defaults: Font replacement by @simstate and Bigger size font.

Defaults by @alverdinesims: Build Grid, Objects placement, Skill and progress meters.

CC Icons Defaults: Replacement or Completely Remove.

CAS & Stylist Room Defaults: Monotone by @agnelid, Different by @cherdawn66, Empty CAS/Stylist, Gothic by @bast-sims.

Moodlets Icons Defaults: 2t3, 4t3.

Traits Icons Defaults (except Social Groups): 2t3, 4t3, Medieval, Medieval LTR by @aprilrainsimblr.

@pis3update @wanderingsimsfinds @bloodys-s3ccfinds @sssvitlanz @nightoccfinds @ninthcirclets3cc @kpccfinds

#my cc #simblreen #the sims 3 #sims 3 #ts3 #s3cc #ts3cc #sims 3 simblr #sims 3 mods #sims 3 cc #ts3 simblr #ts3 mods #sims 3 cc finds #sims3cc #ts3 cc #ts3 download #sims 3 download #Spotify

[powdermelonkeg]

I've seen some Reddit refugee PSAs going around, so I thought I'd contribute a few tips of my own that I haven't seen covered:

If you go to the original iteration of your post (not any subsequent reblogs, your ORIGINAL post) you can delete any comments you don't like. This does not apply to text added by reblog, only to the message bubble section.

Ublock Origin has trouble figuring out which parts of desktop to get rid of. If you want to delete a certain element (for example, the store widget), and your usual method isn't working, what you want to do is: - Right-click - Inspect Element/Inspect (Q) - Look at the thing that's highlighted, then go all the way up until you hit the nearest "div = class" marker - Right-click - Hover over "Copy," then pick "CSS Selector" - Click your Ublock extension icon - Click the gears - Find a blank space on the list that pops up and type "www.tumblr.com##" without the quotes - Paste whatever you copied with CSS Selector after that, with no space between it and the ## - Click "Apply changes"

You can hide your follower lists and liked lists. This is actively encouraged. Desktop solution: - Account (the person icon in the corner) - Scroll down until you find your blog name and click "Blog Settings" - Scroll through the page that pops up until you find "Share posts you like" and "Share the Tumblrs you're following" and toggle them off. This is the 3rd and 4th section of that page for me, respectively Mobile solution: - Your blog (the person icon in the bottom right corner) - Settings (gear in the top right corner) - Scroll down to "Pages" - Toggle "Likes" and "Following"

Desktop only: Left your Tumblr logged in on someone else's phone/computer? Worried about account security? No problem! - Account (the person icon in the corner) - Settings (NOT Blog Settings. Just Settings. It has a gear icon) - Scroll all the way to the bottom - You have a list of any logins that have happened on your account. They come with the IP addresses used to access it. It tells you where it happened, and from what operating system. Deleting those with the X next to the listing logs that iteration out. If you have any on that list that you DON'T recognize, I recommend logging them out and changing your password. Note: It says the list is only for the past 30 days. This is a lie. I have some that date back over a year.

Desktop only: You can make gradient text in your posts by following these instructions.

If your post has been blowing up and you're sick of the notifications, deleting the original post will delete its notes from your activity. THIS CANNOT BE UNDONE. If you would still like to check on the post, just not have it in your activity, reblog it before deleting it. You can continue to check the notes tab from the reblog while the original is gone.

It is common etiquette to tag spoilers for new games/shows/etc (ie, released in the last two months) as #[insert fandom here] spoilers, sensitive subjects as #[insert sensitive topic] tw, and long posts as #long post. Yes, even if you have a readmore (which you can add by clicking the weird squiggly line when you start a new block).

There is a bug on desktop involving readmore lines. Whenever you go back to edit a post that has a readmore in it, it moves the readmore down by one block. Make sure you move it back into its proper place each time by clicking and dragging.

You can click and drag different blocks of text to reorder them. Only regular blocks, though; not lists like this one. You can also do this with images you've inserted.

Desktop only: You can delete/remove tags/add tags en masse to posts using the Mass Post Editor. - Account (person icon in the corner) - Scroll down to your blog - Mass Post Editor - Select any posts in the grid you want. "Edit tags" is only for removing tags, you need "Add tags" to add more

Desktop only: You can see any blog's history of posts by typing in [blogname].tumblr.com/archive. The page that pops up looks very similar to the Mass Post Editor. You can filter posts on that blog by any of their most used tags, by month, or by post type. This is especially useful for locating pornbots. Some pornbots will try to legitimize their place by picking a random popular tag (for example, #horror) and reblogging the top 10-100 posts in that tag without commentary. See if they've been active for more than week with the archive month filter. Granted, the person may also be a new user, like yourself. It takes some deduction. But it's much easier to use the archive than it is to scroll through all of their posts until you hit the bottom.

Desktop only shortcuts: J = move down one post. Useful for scrolling fast or getting past a notoriously long post (as in "Do you like the color of the sky" and all its cousins) K = move up one post Shift + R = reblog a post. Does not add tags L = like a post C = create a new post (brings up options on what kind of post) . (period) = return to the top of the page Shift + Q = add a post to your queue. Does not add tags Shift + P = cycle through the color palette

#psa #reddit refugees #tumblr tips and tricks #long post

[pangolin-404]

Im honestly really worried for ranboo. Most people that get this big on the internet either get desensitized to stuff and become a bit of an asshole (or a full asshole) or get destroyed because of how much they care. Ranboo seems to be heading towards the second category and I wish for them to be okay

[post]

I really have no idea where I see Ranboo going from here. There are plenty of big creators who do good (Jacksepticeye's Thankmas, MCC charity events) and to me, the Particles for Palestine event was like that. A big creator utilizing their platform to raise awareness and charity. I... genuinely I don't see how people are so upset with Ranboo over . what? Not doing more? Not coming out with in-depth, nuanced reactions to global events? When they probably knew as much as you or I did.

Yes he broke promises, he is not a guiltless victim; he kept playing TLOU2 even after told of its inspiration, he didn't do as much charity as he said he would, and it's good he's acknowledging that, but this visceral reaction to him runs deeper than that, it looks like? I feel like he should stop raising peoples' expectations and over-promising; he's one guy, he's young.

I know it's probably mostly in Twitter--in the Tumblr tags, the worst I saw was a couple people calling them spineless (sorry Ranboo, but good lird, he is a little bit spineless for not telling people to stop idolizing him). But I can't wrap my head around the logic behind people going after his ankles.

Now, I personally can't think of anyone fitting the "get destroyed" option you claim has happened, Anon. So I'll be honest I think it's a little bit overdramatic, but I agree with you in that I'm also worried for Ranboo.

I worry that a whole nonprofit will be too much for them. That is a whole organization, and even if they have others working with them, that is a lifelong commitment. This is something he cannot back out of (or he will be making another empty promise) or give to someone else to handle (he said he would be active in it).

Ranboo has Generation Loss/Chronicle 0, White Noise, The Sorry Boys (if that still exists. please it's been months,), his usual streams and YouTube videos, and his own personal life and self to tend to. Genuinely, I worry a whole entire nonprofit organization that intends to address very heavy topics will break the camel's back. I don't know what that will look like, but I doubt it'd be great for his mental health and anxiety (and I worry talking too much about that, lest I get parasocial, if I haven't already!).

(I'll be honest, I don't expect the organization to go anywhere past its first few months of existence; if it does, it will be without their major role in it, or they'd be stretched too thin. I feel bad for saying that.)

All due respect to him, of course, but he is a variety gamer on twitch dot teevee, and I do not understand why people demand more and more charity and apology from him when his job is to play video games and make people laugh.

I get why people want him to state his stances, to be assured he supports Palestine. To be vocal about a tragedy happening. I get why people expect a charity stream during pride month, or an eventual donation to somewhere to help during a disaster. What I do not understand is how this isn't enough for some people.

to quote something I said when talking to a friend about this: I think he should tweet "yall need to respect me as a regular everyday person and stop seeing me as a paragon" and delete twitter and turn off the internet in his house

#thoughts #asks #ranboo #discourse #anonymous #also: again like the post this ask is from; I want to hear others' perspectives on this act

[wardogsong]

Good bye. I hope everyone who bullied me is fucking happy. I hope everyone who got my account deleted is happy. I'm done.

cw: mentions of self-harm and mutilation under the readmore, and also just basic dash consideration. I realize I have not been here in months, owe everything and everyone, etc... which adds an extra layer of mind-bending hilarity to this all.

Stray,

You are both breaking my heart and wearing my last nerve out. I'm only human. I'm not a saint. While I am genuinely very sorry that tumblr deleted your account, did you read the email that they sent to you? I know that you screenshotted it. You have it posted right now on this iteration of your blog.

Truth be told? I don't know if anyone reported your account. I can say with a clear conscience that I didn't. I had no reason to. The last I interacted with you and/or that account was when I was in the comments of your pinned post, talking to you there.

I am not exactly certain that your account would have required much reporting, to be honest. I think that you are imagining a bandwagon of people joining together to work against you, given the way you are currently in several inboxes, calling people bullies and so on. Again, I can say with a completely clear conscience, I have never participated in any such link up or bandwagon against you, or anyone else.

So let's keep it a buck. You do somewhat routinely post about the things mentioned in that email. It's your blog, you have a right to talk about the state of your mental health if you want to, but in this case, it was tumblr itself taking notice and action of the frequency of that, and what specifically you were saying.

Hell, let's go back in time a bit. You and I literally met and became mutuals BECAUSE you posted a farewell note on your blog, several deletions and remakes ago. It was written as if it were a done deal, and having been familiar with your url in the fandom tags, I was immediately worried for you, stranger that you were, and desperate to reach out to you hoping it would come before a too-late kind of moment. You know what the saddest part of that search for you was? Encountering people who did claim to know you and who said, with great shame, that this was somewhat regular for you.

You know it too, because even in our conversations you mentioned having been blamed or accused of attention seeking in the past and having callouts written about you.

The answer is right there, Stray. Your blog was deleted for mentions of self-harm. You may not have been glorifying it or promoting it, but you posted about it enough that you finally tripped a flag somewhere. That's it. That's all it is.

As for the rest? This is the second time you're calling me a bully. Yet again, I am asking you to prove it. Please show me the instances in which I bullied you, or the actions that I took against you. What, exactly, did I do? Because to the best of my recollection? I spent a while trying to be your friend, trying to be as supportive as I could be, introducing you to other friends of mine to help widen your circle, gaming with you, plotting things to write with you and then the one night I couldn't stay up late to talk with you because I was literally recovering from being incredibly ill AND had to take my son to an appointment the next day... ended up with you having sent me overnight screenshots of deleting your blog and either blocking or unfriending me on discord. Which one of those things was the bullying, Stray? Because the way I see it? You're the one who ditched me the second I couldn't be of use to you.

last but not least, rumor out of the hell part of this country says you have a problem with sharing mutuals. you don't like it when someone you like writes or interacts with someone you don't like and that may be the root cause of your distress. if so, rumors of my and @lt-ghxst's relationship are both greatly exaggerated and misunderstood. it's not my fault I tagged and bagged him, as that is what you do with wild gators. however, if he has slighted you, I don't take any responsibility for him. he's untrained and not yet housebroken. it's a miracle if I can get him to only piss outdoors. he bites. he's ornery and nasty-tempered. Honestly, he should probably be put to sleep but I am determined to break him in.

#self harm cw #also for anyone wondering or raising brows #that last bit of crack is just that #crack and hilarity inserted for my own peace of mind #and bc it's an inside joke with the mentioned party #don't mind us #we have to laugh or else we'd swing

[planefood]

hi. i might be going crazy but if i'm not and i recall correctly; a couple months back or so you made a post talking about why you chose the city you did for your ocs and why it didn't take place in america. as a non american who fell into the weirdly common thing of making ocs that are american i really resonated with that post, i've been looking around for it and i can't find it. so i wanted to ask if you deleted it? it's 100% fine if you did i get it. i just want to know if its gone or i should keep looking around for it because of infamous tumblr search broken. thanks :-)

Okay this is tough because my tumblr has a tendency to just, hide posts of mine in the archive or tags (grrr) but I also delete posts a lot if I feel like I was overly emotional in them or if its just stupid tagging garbage but I might've deleted it because I wrote that when I was really upset, I know a lot of people related to it though so i'm really sorry to you guys! I might rewrite it more succinctly if I have the energy but the point in that old post still stands I suppose Sometimes I worry I come across as too patriotic or even, god forbid... "kiwiana" kitsch which would be a NIGHTMARE for me even if most of my followers wouldn't notice something like that. I also don't wanna give off the impression that my work is only for a small population or that I "hate americans" if I don't word it well enough. I probably only feel an obligation to write how I do because I fought so hard feeling recognised for my background after I moved here that feeling it happen again when I speak to people outside of NZ stresses me out. I'm glad other people resonated with it! But me getting so emotional over it isn't what I'd call a typical reaction idk. Really its more out of frustration, I feel like I'll never truly feel at home in any part of the world for multiple reasons, somewhere where I can feel comfortable relating to people just because we're from the same area but that's not really true. I was an outsider in Japan and I felt like an outsider living here. Moving to a bigger city didn't provide me much comfort as I still feel like I'm not apart of the "in group". I know people who haven't even moved countries like me will probably feel this (esp if you follow me cause no regular person would follow me tbh) thats the frustration I try to capture with my writing that I hope more people to can attach to than just "this is Aotearoa bitch!!!!!!!!!". I feel love and also a lot of rage for this country. My stories are less of a love letter for it and just auto biographical, some parts are cozy and nice but a lot is pretty rough and stressful. There's still the kid in me screaming "I WANT TO GO HOME!" all the time while I live here, back then "home" would've just been back in Japan but now I don't really know what that "home" is. I find solice in my characters trying to figure that out too

#ask #my stories rarely feel like they capture authentic nz to me sometimes but idek what that is really #I was gonna go on a rant about how much I hated this country growing up because of how ppl treated me + everything being different #but that can be for another day

[scribbleseas]

The Indignant Pawn, Chapter XV: The Hand Of Karma

Description: You are Y/n Y/l/n- formerly known as Princess Helena, the runaway princess.

You're an assassin for hire who only agrees to find the worst of London's criminals at the business end of your knife; until a mysterious woman hires you to end the likes of Ciel Phantomhive, the King of the Underworld. You find yourself trading your weapons for your abandoned family crest in order to infiltrate his home as none other than Princess Marie-Louise, your twin sister. What's to happen when you find that the young Earl is more than a callous businessman?

OVERALL STORY WARNINGS: sexual assault (once in the prologue), objectification, misogyny, death, detailed description of blood/gore, detailed description of murder, lying, impersonation, theft, weapons, detailed panic attacks, symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorder, kissing

CHAPTER WARNINGS: insinuated sexual assault, drug addiction (opioids)

Author’s Note: Happy Holiday Season, everyone! I’m sorry this was so late. Final exams and final research papers actually obliterated all of my time and creativity. However, I was determined to finish this chapter and get it out before the New Year. I hope it was worth the wait-- I’m thinking this will be the longest you will have to wait for a while. I should be able to go back to my previous semi-regular updating schedule (like every other week).

ps. i had more than half of this chapter formatted before tumblr decided to not work and deleted my progress. fuck.

Happy Reading!

- Dan

⇠ PREVIOUS CHAPTER | NEXT CHAPTER ⇢

MASTERLIST

APRIL 13TH, 1892

LONDON, ENGLAND

“Ciel, what do you mean you were unaware that it is Marie’s birthday?” Lizzie’s smile faded, replaced by frustration in her eyes. In times like these, she most resembled her mother, attempting to keep a placid face despite her growing frustration. “Please, tell me you’re playing with me; you absolutely cannot be joking about this.”

When did Y/n decide to allow Lizzie to refer to her so casually? Ciel mused, but that was beyond the point. What mattered was that he now had to waste a day in celebration of a woman he had no desire to celebrate in the first place. He knew it was coming, more than aware where Princess Marie’s birthday appeared on a calendar. Unfortunately, that would be the same date as her vindictive twin, who had been impersonating her all this time.

Besides, Ciel had no way of knowing if Y/n even liked celebrating her birthday; he knew nothing about her childhood and teenage life. She could detest her birthday as he did his for all he knew. In all likeliness, he would never understand, given how closely she guarded her life’s complexities.

After all, Ciel’s birthday was the day of the fire that ruined his life, killing his family and destroying his home. The only present he received that year was a demon butler that he summoned from the pure hatred that poisoned his soul. Maybe Y/n’s birthday reminded her of the palace that was abusive enough to cause her to run away twice. 

“Lizzie, what I mean is: I have much more important things to worry about. Such as keeping her alive,” Ciel replied, sighing at the drafted letter in front of him. He was in the middle of penning a response to the man he put in charge of the hiring process for all of his new steamship fleets. Each ship needed a captain, a sufficient number of workers to load and unload heavy cargo boxes, and operators to keep the vessels working. Ciel had just finished reviewing each of his manager’s selections and was writing to approve each one. 

He lied, considering there was no real threat toward anyone besides himself. After all, the real Princess Marie was already dead, and all Ciel was “protecting” was her lying and bloodthirsty counterpart, sent to him as part of a ploy for his life. However, Ciel still had to remain consistent with each pretense. No one else could know the truth. 

“How could you be this obtuse?” Lizzie asked incredulously, with a newfound bluntness to her words. Ciel appreciated her more for it. “It’s the woman you love’s birthday today! You cannot sit idly by! I allowed our engagement to go to rubbish; don’t you waste that by not making her feel loved!” Lizzie exclaimed, quick hands pulling the half-written letter from Ciel’s focus to force him to focus on her. 

“Love her?” Ciel couldn’t fathom the idea of liking Y/n, much less loving her after gleaning the truth. It was a weakness, and if he hadn’t let himself grow so attached, he would not have needed the phone call to show him that Y/n was not Princess Marie of Schleswig-Holstein. There were too many signs that he let go because she made his heart drum in his chest with such ferocity he could hear it in his ears. “I don’t--” 

“Yes, you do love her,” Lizzie said with the same gumption Ciel noted during their private discussion at the wedding. They had a similar exchange; his cousin insisted he loved the princess, and he assured her he was incapable of all love. 

“One moment of her dancing with another man drove you half-mad,” Lizzie said, laughing sadly, despite the tears in her eyes. She dabbed at them with a napkin carefully. “I could only wish you would care for me that much.”

“I do care for you.”

“It’s not the same. Think about it.”

And he had thought about it. 

Y/n drove him half mad with her constant mimicry and her instantaneous sarcasm. Her relentless mind that formed such witticisms and strategy that either left Ciel defeated in a game of draughts or lying on the floor, writhing in pain. She hurt him. It was her mission to hurt him.

And yet, it was Ciel’s instinct to care for her-- beyond keeping her alive. Her smile painted his world. Her lips lit a fire in his stomach. When she laughed, shivers rolled down his spine. Even worse, Ciel would smile in response before he understood what he was doing. 

While it was his duty to care for both Lizzie and Y/n, he never found himself searching for ways to go out of his way and bring a smile to his formerly betrothed’s lips. Ciel never found himself thinking about Lizzie so much he felt deranged. He never would have offered an extension of his first kiss to his cousin in a fiery moment of unconstrained passion. A culmination of his frustration and the sheer depth of what he felt for the woman who both drove him beyond insanity and pulled him back into what felt like the body of a living human being.

He’d been a corpse. And she’d brought him back to life, forcing him to feel emotions he’d never-

Enough. 

He’d made himself blush. Damn it all. 

Ciel groaned, hiding his face in his hands. Days ago, he would never have allowed his cousin to see him so…vulnerable. But if not his cousin, who else? Ciel clearly couldn’t work through his emotions himself. Sebastian detested Y/n, and it didn’t take a genius to know why. If Ciel could feel himself changing, indeed, his soul was changing. It was brightening, and that wasn’t the sort of taste that lured a demon.

“Fine, fine,” he surrendered, ignoring his cousin’s delighted laugh. While he wasn’t sure he loved Y/n, there was some driving passion behind his feelings for her…despite her litany of deception and lies. “What do you reckon I do, then?” 

A half-decent Guard Dog would do nothing of this sort. He should have been writing detailed reports of his findings over the past several months to turn Y/n into the Queen, torturing her to find the name of her employer. It wasn’t possible for her not to know. He needed to understand the whole of this ploy she’d forced him through like a pathetic chess piece. 

But apparently, Ciel Phantomhive was ignoring his duties. He’d drafted that letter to Her Majesty over and over but discarded each attempt, unable to scribble the right words down. The right words to send Y/n to a probable execution.

Grinning broadly, Lizzie exclaimed, “we celebrate her birthday! You buy her a cake and presents, and make her feel like the most important person in your life, of course! I had Nadia make her the cutest dress,” she gestured to the delicately wrapped box in Paula’s hands. The pink bow atop the box bounced in the handmaid's hold. 

“I will inform Sebastian to stop at the jeweler’s,” Ciel said as if he were making funeral arrangements rather than planning a birthday dinner. He shouldn’t be celebrating this woman. He should have her tortured by Sebastian until they could extract the answers they required from her: who wanted him dead, and why, and how did she survive all of this time? Was everything she said to him a lie?

Ciel was weak, and for that, unsure if he could forgive himself. But he could live with that sort of hatred. He’d lived with it every day for years. Besides, for every bit Y/n weakened him, he had the same impact on her; he was sure of it.

That being said, he had the perfect gift for Y/n; a far cry from a dress or jewels Marie would desire. Sebastian could quickly stop at the bladesmith’s while he was out. Ciel began to sketch. 

. . .

Sebastian decorated the gazebo delicately, per Lizzie’s direction. Plush pink roses and vines twirled around each column supporting the roof, adding a graceful ambiance to the scene. The air smelled of flowers and sugary frosting as the demon walked the hitwoman’s birthday cake from indoors to the dining table; Y/n sat at the head, Lizzie forced Ciel to sit at her right hand, and she sat across from him. His servants filled the rest of the table, an oddity, but Lizzie wanted the celebration to be as meaningful as it could be on such short notice. 

“Happy Birthday, Marie!” Lizzie was the first to cheer as Sebastian approached with the dual-layered cake decorated with intricate frosting patterns Ciel struggled to see in the dim light. A half dozen candles sat around each layer, each lit, casting an orange glow over Y/n’s face as Sebastian placed the dessert before her. 

“Happy Birthday, Your Highness!” Mey-Rin, Baldroy, and Finny echoed, a little more reluctantly than Ciel would have liked. However, Lizzie failed to notice their hesitation, more fixated on the opulence of the frivolous cake Sebastian whipped together. 

Y/n merely offered a strained smile in response, her eyes searching. He could tell; she was wondering why they celebrated her birthday after Ciel condemned her to her fate. She wanted to be anywhere else. She distrusted Sebastian, such was evident by the way she flinched at the miniature, yet brilliant, flames atop each candle.  

Ciel had to admit, they made him a bit apprehensive as well. He focused elsewhere, returning his attention to Y/n’s skeptical expression as she listened to the exchange between Lizzie and Sebastian.

“Sebastian, this cake looks lovely! I cannot believe you’re such a talented baker,” Lizzie gushed, squinting at the complex designs, swirled eddies, and flowers made of frosting, all measured and perfectly symmetrical. 

“You are simply too kind, my Lady. I’m no one deserving of such high praise; I’m simply one hell of a butler,” Sebastian simpered, basking in the complimentary glow Ciel’s cousin cast all around her. He never received such praise from Ciel simply because his ego was so inflated it hardly fit in the manor, to begin with. 

“You really outdid yourself this time, Sebastian, yes you did!” Mey-Rin added, vehemently staring at her lap to avoid looking the butler in the eyes. Her face flushed red.

“Thank you, Mey-Rin,” the butler grinned slyly and bowed at the waist. He began preparing the Green Tea for the table, strategically picked to pair with Y/n’s favorite cake flavor. Or was it Marie’s favorite cake? 

“It would be a shame to keep everyone waiting any longer. This cake does look divine,” Y/n puckered her lips to blow out each candle. Thankfully, the scent of smoke dissipated quickly-- it was causing Ciel’s heart rate to steadily rise. He swallowed the lump in his throat, soothing his stress with a short breath. Once again, he caught the overwhelming scent of sugar and roses. 

The table broke out into applause and cheers, to which Ciel was late to engage, slowly clapping. Out of rhythm. 

Across from him, Lizzie sent him a vexed look, purposefully looking between him and Y/n, who plucked each candle off the cake to keep the wax from dripping onto the frosting. She hardly flinched at any unbearable heat from touching the hot candles. A princess would have asked a servant to do this for her, unwilling to put her fingers at risk of burning.

These slight hints should have exposed Y/n ages ago had Ciel not been so utterly daft.  

Wish her a happy birthday, you heartless fool! Lizzie widened her eyes at him, gesturing with her head.

Could she be more obvious? She might as well speak her mind at this point. 

Ciel felt his cheeks warm as he returned his focus to Y/n, trying to create some semblance of fondness to appease Lizzie. He was a brilliant liar; smooth lying should’ve come easy, but the words died on his tongue.

With a final withering look Ciel’s way, Lizzie carried the table’s happy atmosphere. Clearly, she was the only one invested in the celebration-- Y/n looked like she was considering several exit strategies, and Ciel’s servants were still reeling from the brawl she brought to them over a week ago. She was a force to be reckoned with, indeed. Much like Finny had a bruised abdomen to show for it, the discoloration under Ciel’s eyes and wrist had only cleared up a few days prior. 

“And Marie, did you know that it’s good fortune for you to make the first cut?” Lizzie asked, gesturing to the elegant, serrated knife Sebastian left aside the cake on the platter. 

“I did not,” Y/n lied with a tactful smile, meeting Ciel’s eye as her nimble fingers wrapped around the knife’s handle. She was mocking him, reminding him of the damage she could do with such a blade. His stomach lurched in response to both Y/n’s sardonic look and the sense of dread that came from witnessing her with a knife.

Y/n used two hands to wield the knife handle and force the blade into the cake’s bottom tier. She made a show of pretending there was notable resistance from the layers of cake, frosting, and filling. Please, she was strong enough to nearly have broken his wrist. And his nose! Who the devil did she think she was fooling?

Be honest, Ciel. A few days ago, you might’ve been fooled. 

After Y/n made the first cut into the cake, Sebastian did the rest of the hard work, cutting slivers for everyone at the table. The servants excused themselves to ‘help’ Sebastian with the cleaning. 

Lizzie hurried everyone through inhaling their cake because she wanted Y/n to open her gift: a complex aubergine dress with puffy sleeves, understated and graceful. The deep shade of purple complimented Y/n’s sharp eyes. 

Y/n didn’t have to pretend to be impressed by the dress; it was a decent selection. It showed ample thought on Lizzie and Nadia’s part, analysis of the deep and studious color palette Y/n favored, simple lace embellishments of the same shade, and a back that closed by a complex tying mechanism. 

“I love it, Lizzie, thank you,” Y/n said, running her fingers over the expensive satin. So as not to ruin the dress, she folded it neatly in the box, for the most part, tugging a sleeve out of it to get a better look. “I’ve never seen anything like this. Nadia is brilliant.”

“I’m so pleased that you like it,” Lizzie grinned, “but I think Ciel might outdo me tonight. That’s why I saved him for last.” She smiled, but her eyes threatened him: you did get her a gift, did you not?

“I’m not sure I would say that, but I did pick something for you, Your Highness,” Ciel admitted, setting aside his pride for the sake of his plan. He needed to act seamlessly to keep his cousin satisfied and unsuspicious. If Lizzie suspected something was wrong, she would never leave and, inevitably, find out the truth. After all, he was a skilled liar, but not even he could keep his frustration at bay. 

He pulled the velvet box from his pocket, the moment feeling annoying reminiscent of his impromptu ‘proposal.’ By the brief grim look on Y/n’s face, she drew the same connection but accepted the little box nevertheless. To her apparent relief, it wasn’t another ring but a pair of pearl drop earrings set in gold. Ciel didn’t know the intricacies of jewelry; he merely had his butler go to the jeweler's and pick something passable. Much like him, Y/n wouldn’t see the difference between freshwater cultured pearls from China (which they were) and glass imitation ones.  

“Those are incredible!” Lizzie gushed, gaping at the earrings with approval. 

“They are, yes,” Y/n agreed wryly, shutting the box with an air of finality. “Thank you,” she shifted in her chair as if she was fighting a suffocating desire to leave.

“My pleasure,” Ciel responded mechanically.

Naturally, Lizzie disapproved, watching the exchange with a frown. Of course, she was dissatisfied. And she wouldn’t leave if she was dissatisfied.

Ciel cleared his throat, “Your Highness, I actually…have another gift for you. But…I would prefer to show it to you…” it was excruciating to formulate each word. Alone. Without meaning to, he looked at his cousin pointedly. 

Catching his accidental look, Lizzie took it as a cue to act. She forced a yawn, dramatically pressing the tips of her fingers to her lips. She rolled her shoulders back in an exaggerated stretch. “You know, I am actually rather sleepy,” she said unconvincingly, “I shall go find Paula…and… take my leave! Goodnight, Ciel! Happy Birthday, Marie!” She said, slowly rising out of her chair, only to scamper away when she got to her feet. 

“-- Lizzie!” Ciel protested, feeling as if his cousin had left him abandoned at sea. Left adrift without a lifeboat to take him out of uncharted territory: facing Y/n in  disquieting neutrality. He stood to get a better look at his cousin as she grew further from his vision, calling for Paula. 

“I’m retiring for the night,” Y/n lied, finally standing. “You didn’t have to do this. I’ve never cared much about celebrating my birthday,” she took a step away, but before she could continue, Ciel stopped her, his hand nearly missing the back of her shoulder. 

“I had no choice. You know that.”

Y/n turned on her heel, combat-ready by instinct. “You did. She’s only your cousin now, it’s not like you have to maintain her happiness,” she shrugged her shoulder, frowning at Ciel’s hand. He refused to let her leave before he could finish his piece.   

“No, I—” he started to explain.

“You, what? Did you have more questions to solicit me with? I’ve told you everything I know about the woman. I’ve given you my bloody word, what more can you possibly want from me?” She raised her chin, daring him to challenge her. 

But Ciel knew what Y/n’s word was worth; he couldn’t trust her more than he could hope to fight her and live. Besides, the Undertaker said Y/n liked to have the complete picture of everyone she worked with; a sense of their backgrounds, grievances, and why they wanted someone dead. Without knowing the whole picture, she would not take on a mission like this. 

Ciel couldn’t even recall killing a natively Spanish household and leaving a pregnant woman alive. Could Y/n’s employer be lying?

“Just…” stop being so bloody stubborn and come with me. “...I decided to get you another gift. For you. Not who you pretend to be. Do you want it or shall I have the bladesmith melt it down and use the materials for something else?” Ciel demanded, letting his extended hand drop back to the side. Y/n’s mouth opened to formulate a response, but he wasn’t finished yet: “I will be waiting in the drawing room. Meet me there, or refuse. Your childishness is not my concern,” he feigned aloofness as he passed her, showing himself back inside. 

Ciel would have taken pleasure in saying that he genuinely couldn’t care if Y/n joined him. He wished his ego and heart were that fortified, but if he had claimed they were, he would’ve been lying to himself.

Instead, Ciel spent the next two hours glancing at the open door, using a copy of Nietzsche's Beyond Good and Evil to keep himself from staring at the door like an overattentive dog. 

Even worse, he wished he could say he was comprehending the German words he was reading, but that would be another lie aimed towards himself that was simply too far. Lying to someone else was excusable-- Ciel did it all the time, every day, every hour. 

Lying to himself would be weak. He was not weak. 

He could acknowledge that as he waited for Y/n, she was in the front of his mind. Not Nietzsche’s thinking, not his responsibilities as a good and vicious Guard Dog. No, he was wondering if she would show. If she would like his gift. What she might say. 

Perhaps he was weak. 

“I would’ve assumed you retired by now,” her voice made Ciel straighten his back, tense. His mouth felt dry. He fought his instinct to stand as he would have for an active royal. She wasn’t Princess Marie. He knew that, yet his muscle memory preferred treating her as so.

“I am aware of how stubborn you are. My only option was to simply withstand your thickheadedness and you would eventually surrender,” Ciel responded coolly, satisfied with the way he kept the quiver out of his voice. 

“In that case--” Y/n started, turning to leave. She’d hardly stepped foot through the threshold. 

“Y/n,” he interrupted her with a cutting stare. One might think he was urging her to drink a poison chalice rather than sit and open a birthday gift from him. On the couch in the drawing room…where they haven’t been together in what felt like ages. It was only a little over a week, but when Ciel thought of how things were before the phone call… it could have been a decade’s difference.

“Fine,” she snapped, taking a seat on the other end of the couch. As far as she could get. 

Really? She was the one who attacked him and nearly broke his nose! 

“I thought you might like something more to your tastes,” Ciel said, reluctantly offering the pristinely wrapped box to her. 

“You didn’t have to,” she inspected it before tearing the paper along the taped seams as if she wanted to preserve the wrapping. 

I know that; I don’t have to do anything. I wanted to. Don’t ask me why.

She opened the box to reveal a dagger, the blade sharp and forged from steel. The handle was made of white marble, its quillion sculpted into gold swirls, matching the bottom of the handle. 

This was one of the first times Ciel rendered her speechless, but her face told him everything he cared to know. Her eyes were wide as she took in the dagger’s every detail. Her face reddened, matching the soft pink roses Sebastian used to decorate the gazebo. Like one of Lizzie’s gowns.

Her dexterous hands tested the dagger, determining its weight and how the handle fit in her calloused palms. Ciel would know they were calloused-- he’s had the pleasure of holding them while waltzing. At the time, he’d presumed they were callused from the harp, not the everyday labor of an acting commoner and… the general toil of murder. 

“I’ve always preferred to use daggers. Ever since I started…” she began, her words something adjacent to a thank you. His neutral frown nearly cracked.

“What caused you to start?” Ciel asked before he could help himself. For a moment, Y/n looked like she was considering turning her new blade against him and slitting his throat, but instead, she merely sighed. She watched her reflection in the flawless blade, her face clear of makeup, her hair out of its sophisticated braid. 

Y/n moistened her lips, finally bringing herself to look at Ciel. Her thumb caressed the handle as she spoke, describing a day that took place… five years ago. March 1888. 

She was a poor 16-year-old, homeless and alone. Entirely out of stolen jewels from the German royal family, starving. It was pouring rain, and she had no other choice but to huddle under the scaffolding outside the Undertaker’s shop. Cold, wrapped in tattered blankets, watching the world continue without her. 

Nobody cared about her or the other homeless children living on the streets.

“My William did not deserve this. He was a good man. A good and honest man,” a woman’s insistent voice shook. Four children and another lady around the same age accompanied her. She cradled a baby in her arms while the other woman held an umbrella over her head as they left the Undertaker’s shop.

 “I know, Edith. I know. It was a terrible accident-” the other woman began, only to be cut off.

“It was no accident! Armed bank robberies are not accidents,” Edith refuted, allowing one of her daughters, presumably, to hold her hand while she used her occupied arm to cradle the swaddled infant. “William, the father of my children, was murdered. And you don’t understand what I would do to his murderers if I--” she whispered forcibly. 

“Those are not Christian thoughts,” her sister gasped, “you mustn’t think of the world in such a manner. God always has a plan, have faith in Him,” she urged, walking along Edith’s two sons. 

Y/n listened intently, studying Edith, listening to her. Her husband was probably William Wagner, one of the four tellers murdered in a violent bank robbery the other day. Established newspapers printed their names and obituaries alongside their portraits.

William Wagner: survived by his wife, Edith Wager, two sons, and two daughters, William Jr., John, Victoria, and Ava. 

The man had kind eyes and smile lines. Y/n couldn’t imagine the loss the family suffered…any more than she could imagine letting the scum who murdered him (and the other three men) live. 

Edith wanted to cleanse the world of evil, a Christian thought, and you wanted to afford a loaf of bread. And, of course, be the hand of karma. Justice itself-- if all the government wanted to do was hold prisoners in jail cells for the rest of their lives, wasting tax money on food to keep them alive. Meanwhile, they ignored the homeless children on the street, refusing them any money or food.  

Y/n could dispatch bank robbers for Edith and William. And she did, that night, using a trusty dagger that wasn’t much different from the one she held in her hands. She snuck into their holding cells under the guise of being one of their relatives, wanting to say goodbye. If they knew better, their guards didn’t care enough to stop her from killing them. 

Afterward, finding Edith’s home was simple. Dodging her grateful hug was not.

“I am not a senseless killer, Ciel,” Y/n said starkly, practically challenging Ciel to second-guess her. He was reluctant to. “You are the King of the Underworld. Not many people know what that means. I do, and in my professional opinion, you need not think long and hard about why someone called me to kill you.”

Ciel frowned. He thought about his Madame Red, all of the broken children he ordered Sebastian to incinerate each time his finger pressed into his shotgun’s trigger. 

She was a serial killer, Jack the Ripper. They were too traumatized to ever live a happy or decent life. Every time he shot, his bullet lodged itself into a criminal. 

They weren’t the same. They couldn’t be the same.

. . . 

APRIL 15TH, 1892

LONDON, ENGLAND

Ciel started his work day writing a letter to Her Majesty, Queen Victoria. Y/n and Princess Marie’s grandmother. His sovereign and employer. This was not the sort of inquiry he thought he would have to pen to the Queen of all individuals, but it was more time-efficient than sending postage to Germany. After all, the royal twins’ mother, Queen Helena, tended to spend most of her time racing around Europe to open charities. Any letter addressed to Queen Helena and sent to Germany would take ages to reach her desk. 

Besides, no reasonable Queen would allow her daughter to marry below her social caliber and outside the royal family. No sensible Queen. Ciel stood a fighting chance, seeing as the Phantomhive family was in Queen Victoria’s service for generations. 

Ciel’s bloodline was the closest to the monarchy without genuinely being a part of it. Queen Victoria would consider how valuable the Phantomhive line might be to her family-- particularly when she was already the Grandmother of Europe. A branch of her family tree ruled every established European country; there was no tactical advantage in Princess Marie marrying another German prince. 

Thus, he reached above Queen Helena’s authority. If Ciel could gain Victoria’s approval, he would be unstoppable-- no one would undermine her authority, not even her own daughter.

Ciel uncapped his pen and began to write, his handwriting pristine through balanced lines and even loops:

Your Majesty, 

I write to you with a request that might seem unfounded, but in truth, it has been months in the making. 

As you are aware, I was previously betrothed to my cousin, Elizabeth Cordelia Midford, since childhood. Though recently, she has opted to end the arrangement with her parents’ consent as a result of my untimely courtship. 

During my time as your granddaughter, Princess Marie-Louise of Schleswig-Holstein’s supervisor and protector, I feel that my…

The ill feeling in Ciel’s stomach stirred once more, threatening to reach his throat. He rubbed his forehead in a weak attempt to dispel his forming headache. 

He detested almost nothing more than expressing his feelings and asking for permission. To have to do both in one letter was almost more than he could manage.

Almost.

He picked up his pen again:

…emotions towards her have grown much more intense than I might have anticipated, from a respectful acquaintance that a guard might have to a feeling much more intense than such professionality. I feel that my connection with Her Highness has grown undeniable; to the extent there is too much intensity to deny both in public and…

Ciel hesitated.

to ourselves. While I could never presume to ask for Her Highness’s hand while she is promised to His Highness Prince Aribert of Anhalt, I do feel it is sensible of my station to first appeal to you. 

As per usual, I shall only act at your will and discretion. I am your Guard Dog, and I do put my duties to the Crown above all, including my personal feelings.

With Gratitude, 

Lord Ciel Phantomhive

With that, he folded the stationary into itself and fit it into an envelope. He poured wax over the envelope’s opening and pressed his family cress into the steaming liquid, immortalizing his family crest: the widespread two-headed eagle with a shield in front of it. Under this shield was a banner with the Latin for power and rule. Potentia and Regree, respectively. 

“Sebastian,” Ciel said, calling his demon back from the short errand he sent him on. His butler needed to deliver his outgoing postage and this newly drafted letter to the castle. Beyond that, Ciel was impatient to reap the results of Sebastian’s trip. And admittedly, he craved a decent parfait. 

Without wasting a moment, Sebastian breezed through Ciel’s office door, holding a sterling silver tray with a notebook the size of a dictionary and, of course, the parfait that occupied Ciel’s mind. The demon’s expression was as placid as ever. A surprise, considering he’d spent his morning investigating Y/n, someone he may detest more than Grell Sutcliff. Or even Pluto, the demon dog Ciel took in with the sole desire to bother him. 

“Yes, my Lord?” Sebastian chirped as he put a napkin on Ciel’s desk to avoid scraping from the glass's bottom. 

“Tell me about your findings,” Ciel responded, trading the stamp with his family seal for the small spoon to dig into his snack. He gestured to the notebook with his spoon as Sebastian unloaded it from his tray, placing it on Ciel’s side.

Ciel opened the notebook, scanning over the first page. Sebastian filled every line with the victim's name in chronological order. He started at the top, looking for the first name he did not directly recognize.

Cooper Finley

Amelia Dyer

Felix Keating

“Tell me about Felix Keating,” Ciel ordered, vaguely recalling the headline that appeared in the paper several months previous. Shortly before Y/n arrived at the estate. The businessman’s servant found him stabbed in the back of his carriage. Ciel didn’t mind the death, considering he was visiting London to see a play. Any commoner’s rage might have been provoked at the sight of a rich man amongst them-- Ciel had disregarded the murder. 

Sebastian obliged. “Mr. Felix Keating, a prominent iron manufacturing owner. Found murdered the night of December 17th, 1891 by his longtime coachman, Horace McLaughlin. Cause of death, blood loss due to a stab wound between his fourth and fifth ribs. All of this occurred several days after a legal court found Keating innocent of all dangerous workplace and child labor charges, following the death of Margaret Calvert, a young girl working in one of his factories. Poorly built machinery malfunctioned, causing it to combust and-”

“I understand,” Ciel interrupted firmly, having no desire to hear the gruesome details of a young girl’s demise. “And her parents?”

“Yes, I spoke to them. They were quite stubborn, but eventually, they came around. The husband, Eric, confessed to everything-- meeting Y/n, attempting to pay her, saddling themselves with an alibi-”

“Attempting to pay her?” Ciel said, ignoring Sebastian’s vaguely irritated look. The demon disliked when he interrupted him. 

“She refused to take the full sum of her pay,” the butler clarified. “Quite…merciful of her, considering their living conditions,” he continued, as if the compliment was difficult for him to admit.

Well, of course. They are factory workers who live in Birmingham. They could use all the money they could get. If they were affluent, they would not have had their daughter working at such a young age in the first place.

“I never requested your opinion, Sebastian,” Ciel chastised, only to further irk his butler, “now tell me about her first murder.”

While Ciel already knew about her first paid killing, one could only assume Y/n’s first murder had to be a different circumstance. No one decided to make a hobby out of slaughtering others without having done so successfully beforehand. 

“Gladly, my Lord. Investigating her first murder took me to the Dowager Baroness, Lady Cecilia Wright.” The demon smiled again, the look somewhere between fond and malicious. The same expression he wore after he extracted information from certain women. Like Beast. And that nameless nun. “Though we did have a meaningful discussion, she did insist on speaking with you, my Lord.”

Ciel fought the bile that threatened to rise up his throat. “Fine.”

“I thought you might agree, so I told her we would make a private appearance at her soirée tomorrow evening.”

. . . 

APRIL 16TH, 1892

LONDON, ENGLAND

When Ciel considered Lady Wright’s history, it made sense that Sebastian’s investigation of Y/n’s early life led him to her. The late Lord Steven Wright was murdered the morning of February 3rd, 1888-- four years ago and a month before Y/n’s first paid murder.

There was a suspicious amount of mystery surrounding Baron Wright’s death. From what Ciel recalled, an armed thief broke into the Wright estate, resulting in the Baron’s murder. While the paper prided itself on the specific details it published, this case was particularly vague, leading the public to suspect there was something…more to it. However, it didn’t concern the Queen, and evidently, what was no concern to Her Majesty, was no concern to Ciel. 

Besides, Cecilia Wright’s estate was now a popular destination for elegant and frequent parties-- no one missed the Baron, an avaricious man known for toeing the law with technicalities. Perhaps, Her Majesty was pleased with his demise. 

“You’ve put together a lovely party downstairs. People seem to be enjoying themselves,” Ciel broke the leisurely silence between him and the Baroness. She led him from the intense party to a room that seemed to be converted from an office to a sitting room. Sebastian waited outside the door because Ciel could hardly tolerate the evident flirtation between Lady Wright and his butler. It was tough to watch, and Ciel had withstood even the most gruesome sights.

“It truly is amazing when your imbecile of a husband dies and you have no children to continue his ridiculous legacy?” Lady Wright’s smile spread slowly, a little deranged. Her forehead creased as she grinned, matching the smile lines on either side of her lips. Despite being a noblewoman, her cheeks were sunken in, matching the deep bags under her tawny eyes. Her pupils practically swallowed her brown irises, making them appear like twin black abysses. 

Ciel’s first instinct would have been to express his condolences for her lack of children, but her maniacal smile said otherwise. 

“Everything he owned is mine. All the money, the property… I love my life,” she rambled, her gloved hands fiddling with her gold bangles until she stopped abruptly, staring into Ciel’s gaze. Her smile melted. “And I did not murder my husband to achieve this life if that is why you are paying me this visit, Queen’s Guard Dog.”

Ciel found her face disarming whether she smiled or not. Her eyes still shone with a certain lack of sanity, whether she looked like the party’s hostess or a manic killer. He straightened his posture in response to her change in demeanor.

“Of course not. I know your husband’s killer, and I know you know her as well. I wish to question you about her.” Ciel corrected her, his words causing her to relax once again. “Y/n Y/l/n,” he added to prompt her into speaking since the girl probably asked (threatened) her to keep her mouth shut.

“Yes, that was her name,” Lady Wright hummed, a hyperactive hand coming to twirl at one of the adlib strands of hair that framed her face. Her auburn hair was graying at the roots. 

“Would you tell me exactly what happened the night of the Baron’s murder?

She raised a thin eyebrow, “and why would you need that sort of information? Are you meaning to apprehend her for a murder carried out four years ago?” 

“Not at all. I would only like to…understand her history more,” Ciel answered truthfully. If he was to live with someone who lied to his face repeatedly, slowly reeling him into an inappropriate relationship without imagining a bullet between her eyes, he had to understand who she was. He deserved to understand who she was. In total-- beyond what she chose to disclose. 

Lady Wright was unconvinced.

Ciel took a hurried breath in, growing frustrated with the Baroness. What else was he supposed to say?

I need to know everything about her. She’s an unending mystery, and I want to understand her. Put all of the pieces together. I need to justify not turning her into the Queen for who she is. I need to justify why I thought to press my lips against hers when I had a knife to her throat. 

He must have looked more tortured than he meant to because Lady Wright smiled. She laughed warmly, a quivering hand settling over her heart. 

“I understand, Lord Phantomhive,” her eyes sparkled. “Your face tells me everything I need to know. You love her.”

“Love is not an emotion I understand nor feel,” Ciel’s frown deepened. Y/n drove him to the very brink of sanity. He detested her, yet, he could never force himself to drive her away. Love couldn’t be this maddening. An emotion made to bring people together couldn’t hurt this much. 

“My Lord. No one understands love,” Lady Wright corrected. “Stop fooling yourself trying to understand it. You must be wiser than that.”

“Fine,” Ciel mumbled, his gaze casting off to the side. “I understand.”

“Now let me tell you about the girl I met four years ago,” Wright started, sitting back in her chair. “Y/n broke into this estate through the servant’s entrance and found our quarters in the early morning. I only caught her when she started crying afterwards, wailing on our carpet…getting blood all over it.”

“And the sound of Baron Wright bleeding out next to you failed to-”

“Yes,” Lady Wright interrupted Ciel crisply, “I am a heavy sleeper. Your darling butler knows this. Now would you let me speak? Incredibly rude to interrupt a lady.”

Ciel nodded once, fighting the temptation to roll his eyes.

“I asked her why she killed him and she told me he sent men to her home and they killed someone important to her over an inane plot of land. Then they tried to…hurt her,” Lady Wright said meaningfully, her fingers returning to the gold bangle that hung around her skinny wrist. “She killed all three of them. And my husband, which I took no issue with- I was sure that the bastard was cheating on me, anyhow.”

He considered her words: three men dead, a close friend dead. From conning Steven Wright for over some land. The most common land scam in the business world was claiming to have purchased over acres within a foreign country, making a fake contract, and selling it for money before the buyer could go overseas and validate the claim made. Ciel imagined something of that caliber took place. It would have been much too easy to pull off, considering Y/n was fluent in German. 

“She took me to that shack of hers and it was truly gruesome,” Wright reminisced with the same sick grin. “Four men. Dead. I had to ask my most loyal staff to help us clean. You know, I wanted to take Y/n in and raise her, but she refused me. Heaven knows why.”

Because you are 59 and wearing elbow-length gloves to hide the wounds from your opioid addiction. What 16-year-old in their right mind would want to be ‘taken in’ by you?

“And you are certain that your husband caused harm to her and killed her friend?” Ciel asked, holding onto his very last shred of hope that Y/n was a serial murderer with no motivation. They simply could not be of the same occupation because that would mean Ciel had significantly less of a reason to dislike her.

“Yes, completely,” Lady Wright answered. “Insurmountable proof of personal violation and her friend…I believe his name was…Bernard? Benjamin?” she hesitated, unconvinced by the names that surfaced to mind before her face lit up, “Baxter! Was a corpse on the floor. She was clearly distraught over the man.”

And that revelation nearly made Ciel the same level of ill that he felt when he stared into Amelia Dyer’s dead eyes. When he realized that the girl he knew as Princess Marie was a killer set to make him his next target. 

Only now, he realized that perhaps…this killer might have been better than he was.

After all, Ciel dispelled evils that worried Her Majesty. Y/n worked to dispel evils that caused direct harm to the underrepresented- a pair of factory workers from Birmingham. For less than half the sum of her pay! Ciel took generous compensation from the Queen, no matter how insistently he told her he required no payment for her bidding.

Y/n was correct to say it didn’t take a lot of thinking to understand why someone might wish Ciel dead. 

In truth, she was better than him.

. . .

Tags:

#ciel phantomhive x reader #ciel x reader #ciel x you #ciel x y/n #ciel phantomhive x y/n #black butler #black butler fanfiction #black butler fanfic #black butler fandom #black butler x you #black butler x reader #anime fanfic #anime fanfiction #sebastian michaelis #ciel phantomhive #elizabeth midford #historical fiction #historical romance #chapter 15: the hand of karma #the indignant pawn

[puyoginge]

What's been going on with me.

3 years later I’ve decided to resurrect my Tumblr because it is my sanctuary and the social media ever. I disbanded twitter because it makes me angry all the time and for the sake of preserving my dwindling adult sanity. lol.

You may remember me from my few posts under the username yaboinate28. very 2018 lol. I posted a lot of trans / general mental health relatable stuff to manage my struggle with gender dysphoria and hopefully connect with others who felt the same as me. If you want to get a taste of what's been going on since then then please do read on below!! (TW mental health stuff)

WHY I LEFT

Some time in 2020 I purged all my trans posts, removing all my incentive to return to this new decade apocalypse of a site. I guess was feeling really insecure about the discordance between my Tumblr open-transness (??) and my irl extreme stealth thang. I was chronically worried about people from my real life finding my account basically. 

Much of my stuff was very Tumblr cringe and probably stuff you’ve seen before but there were a couple of self help posts that were actually insanely good resources for coping with gender dysphoria (particularly in the early stages of social transition) which I seriously regret deleting. I remember a lot of my memes “blowing up” which made me feel really special and like I could contribute something to the world. As a young teenager struggling with self harm and severe depression as well as navigating my life within a home that outright rejected my trans identity, my Tumblr was my lifeline, the people I met made me feel hopeful for the future, and seeing people reblog with “I needed to hear this” or “thanks so much for posting” meant everything to me.

But its important for me to address that I’m not the person I was back then, !!and whilst I'll be attempting to find and repost some of those self help resources!!, I probably won’t be posting about my trans experience much anymore other than within this entry. But please please reach out if you need someone who’s been through it to talk to. I’d love to support you however i can!! I’m only a message away. 

LIFE STUFF

Since 2019 my attitude on life has changed a lot and whilst coping with my mental health issues are still a daily hurdle, I’ve found myself a groove in which to sit and ride the wave. Essentially I’m managing and I’m happy and able to maintain a positive outlook on life, which is good. Additionally, with time my family have softened to my trans identity. Its not perfect, but I’m not at risk. I love my family and I don’t blame them for their actions, I’m just taking it slow. 

Passed my GCSES with flying colours, passed my A-levels with regular colours, and I'm going to uni. Life has continued and its good. And whilst I would rather eat my own shit than go back and relive the days when my mum had to force me me out the door to get me to go to school, I made it through every last day. That's fucking badass, and tbh I'm pretty resilient now because of it lol.

I guess my point is (crass warning) see the joy in what you have. Take life day by day. Don’t let yourself take the easy route, because then you’ll learn how fucking strong you are. And you are stronger than you think even if all your cards are stacked against you.

TRANSITION STUFF

Since the last time we spoke I’ve legally transitioned, and am (at the time of writing) dealing with the initial admin of medical transition. I’ve been speaking regularly with a gender specialist therapist for 2 years. more recently I’ve been exploring my gender expression with my new found freedom. AND I’m in a relationship with someone who is beautiful and kind and couldn’t be more supportive of me (I adore them). And.... I’m still as stealth as ever. Just as resistant to say “yAYYyy i’m trAns!!!” as I’ve always been. I fucking love it. Some things never change lol. As I said family are being dragged by the tail along with me and have warmed to the whole thing. Support is not the word, but acceptance is pretty apt. They both realise it’s always been “me” at this point and that's enough for the time being.

WHO I AM NOW

I’m now an adult (wtf so surreal????) I have allowed my passion for retro gaming to flourish, recently got super fucking into rhythm games, developed a healthy collection of games and consoles which I may post about perhaps. Resurrected my love for anime, particularly dumb slice of life shows and Madoka Magica (all hail you beautiful broken masterpiece of infinite spinoff potential)

I found my interest in psychology (wowwww surprise!!) Got a job, found some friends, told some people a long overdue fuck off. And rounded myself into a much more open minded person than I used to be.

I couldn’t care less how many people read this, mainly I’m doing it for me. To provide myself a clean slate and stuff. But if you do read this, and you used to enjoy my silly little posts or find them helpful or whatever: I hope you’re well, I’m glad you stuck around and I hope you stay :)

#trans #transmasc #transfem #transgender #trans love #gay #pride #lgbt #life #non binary

[showcontrols]

hm. rambling about smth personal for a bit bc i need it to be down in words. long post under the readmore

so i know my reactions can come across a little. dramatic sometimes. particularly when reading (angst) fic. but during the reading - and often, writing comments bc i tend to do that while reading - i am experiencing the same amount of emotional response im trying to convey in words. the character having a panic attack makes my own breaths speed up to the point where i have to take a break for bit. grief feels hollow, like a stone on my chest and numbness in legs. joy - fluff - sappy gooey stories makes me flap my hands and pace back and forth for a while bc i need to get rid off the excess energy. one time i read a fic that was considered to be mediocre but nice i guess by the people who recced it to me but the general detachment and melancholy portrayed made me go through the rest of day with a fuzzy head.

is that normal? having a visceral reaction to even small bits of writing? i don’t know. i tend to mouth along with the dialogue of the pov character, gestures and all, and that feels like i put too much of myself into whatever pov im reading from. but i know this whole thing extends to outside of writing, that i can come across as too emotional and sensitive. got a response from someone recently about how i was so overly excitable and ‘could you tone it down, it’s not even that good lmao’ and i will admit that my immediate, instinctive response was to go fuck you?? partly out of anger at how the op was dismissing their own writing and partly bc. im not hurting anyone, i think. (did not actually reply to that btw, i just deleted my comment and then went and laid down on the floor for an hour.)

it put me off commenting and leaving long tags for a while bc i was worried about how it would look. am i being too hyper here and bothering people. is this too repetitive. i mostly interact in mcsrblr so its not really a problem there, i know these people. they know me and have seen the number of dumb stuff i do, over the past year. and yeah i felt and still feel pretty dumb about the tagging thing too bc its tumblr! its the site for being weird and ranting in tags.

idk. it’s not A Problem im just. aaaa. maybe im overreacting to this one too. left a bunch of comments one after the other on manda’s fics recently and she was  really nice and happy about it and that reminded me of why i initially started leaving semi-regular comments i guess.

and to clarify: im not saying people have to accommodate me, or anyone on this. if you dont want to deal with it then obviously you have the tools necessary for you to block people and such or not interact at all.

there’s no real solution to it i think. im not even sure if it’s a problem in the first place but it’s just been bothering me for a while. incredibly embarrassed to post this but i need to get it out before it starts poisoning the rest of me so here we go

#spri.txt #yes im supposed to be asleep. classes start so freaking early tomorrow #needed to get this out of my head first tho. been thinking about this for A While

[gender-critical-analytical]

3 questions !

1) what was your breaking point? What made you run to terf tumblr?

2) how long were you researching radfem ideas before you were like okay this is it Im here now

3) favorite stuffed animal you have? :3

ooh okay!

I didn't really have a full breaking point tbh. I had a lot of small/medium ones, including a male friend beginning to identify as a trans woman after I rejected him (at the time, I thought I was a lesbian) and a tif friend repeatedly disrespecting both my boundaries and the boundaries of a mutual gay friend. I had heard the term 'terf' before but had no real idea what it meant aside from 'transphobic', and though I couldn't tell you what post it was now, I accidentally stumbled upon a radfem post regarding something to do with abortion and found the notes full of hate from trans people and their allies because of op's beliefs. Wound up looking through radfem tags, found a mix of posts I agreed with wholeheartedly and "if you agree with terfs, kill yourself" posts. Kept reading from there, found multiple lists of other beliefs that I hadn't even considered (such as opposition to pornography and prostitution) and found that I also agreed on those points. Being surrounded by trans people in my friend group (by surrounded, I mostly mean outnumbered. I knew one trans girl (who has since desisted) and six trans boys, in a very small high school). I had more tif friends claiming they were gay men than I had regular female friends. The change in thought was swift, but I had no arguments that made sense, and the women on radblr were much more rational and logical than anyone trying to make a point against them. I made my blog, and kept my change of thinking quiet, but I fucked up anyway and was disowned from the group lol

2. I spent about two months on my blog before I stopped debating just deleting it and pretending I never made it in the first place. I have a tendency to get super absorbed in phases, and I was worried that maybe I was being blindsided somehow, and that I shouldn't stick with the ideology too soon, in case tras were right and I was being sucked into a 'transphobic cult'. I would log on for a fifteen minutes or so every day and would read, then I'd try and think of a way to counter-argue what I'd read. The problem with finding arguments with the ideology within myself was that radfems and gender-crits actually provided statistics and evidence to support their claims, I was very used to being told 'google is free', and looking back, google is incredibly biased towards trans people, considering that I had done a research paper on LGBT rights for my English class recently at the time, and had difficulty finding information on LGB suicide stats, but none whatsoever finding guilt trippy articles on trans suicide, and what I could personally do myself to keep trans kids from killing themselves. I wound up deciding that damn near everything I was agreeing with was common sense that I had just been told was wrong, and the guilt I was feeling wasn't because I was necessarily a bad person, but because I was putting my own concerns back into the front of my mind, and moving men's issues to the side. After the two month mark, I was here to stay.

3. Ooh that's a hard one! Probably my valentines bulldog squishmallow, but I love my old teddy bear too, and I recently made a stuffed dino at build-a-bear with my bestie, and I love that one too! :)

[cliban]

Hi, I have a lot of questions about your transmasculine kink survey, sorry to be a pain in the ass:

How are you anonymising and/or deidentifying the data beyond not collecting people's email? Are you familiar with the main ways that people's identities can be reconstructed from survey data even without their name?

How are you storing the data (personal computer only, on a cloud service like google, or a combination) and what steps are you taking to keep it secure from things like leaks or your account being targeted and compromised? What do you plan to do if the data is leaked or compromised?

Do you intend to keep the data forever or are you going to destroy it after you are finished? If you do plan to keep it forever, how do you intend to keep it secure in the long term?

Is it possible for people to ask for their data to be withdrawn? Is there a cutoff date where this will no longer be possible, e.g. publishing results based on the survey?

Do you intend to publish the results? Is there a timeframe in mind for doing so? What format do you intend to publish them in and on what platforms (just tumblr, or elsewhere)?

This is just stuff off the top of my head I have to consider in my own work as a professional statistician. I think that it's great that you're curious about transmascs and kink, but this is very sensitive data and I worry a lot about taking a survey where you don't answer any of these questions up front.

No problem anon! Just keep in mind that I'm not a professional, nor have I ever claimed to be - this is mostly a for-fun thing to gather some some data that I found found interesting, publish some non-identifying statistics, and if I were attempting to write a paper or use results for more - lets say professional - purposes, I'd be far more meticulous about it, but this is most certainly not.

We're on tumblr with a trans guy (me) interested in what other trans guys are experiencing in regards to their own sexuality. I'm well aware that this is sensitive data, which is why every question is optional, and this is the first page.

Still, your concerns are completely understandable and I'll do my best to answer them - if you still have questions feel free to DM me :]

Most responses are being converted into simple statistics - a tally of what was most common, or correlations we found in large groups. While typing up the results I will be converting them into more simple terms and responses (after keeping a copy of the original, stored separately), and personal/identifying information being discarded. Individual responses will not be handed out, will be kept private, and I have no interest in reconstructing anyone's identity.

The initial survey is on google forms, and after I reach a cutoff point I will transfer the data onto a secure physical USB and clear responses. The google account that this survey is linked to is under as many layers of protection as possible, with regular security updates.

I personally am a fan of archiving data, but that will be all held on a secure USB that I will keep physically protected.

If the user reaches out, sure! I will happily delete any data that a participant wishes to retract. The obvious cutoff point would indeed be any anonymized statistics that we publish, but again - heavily anonymized to the best of my ability, but even past that if a user wishes to retract that data altogether, I will do so.

I intend to publish anonymized statistics, and that is is; there is not a major timeframe that I have in mind, but I'll give a two weeks notice for the cutoff when we decide it.

I am gently urging you to consider the tone of your final paragraph, as it comes off to me as slightly condescending - I am very aware of the sensitive nature of this information and the importance of keeping it private. Just the questions would have been perfectly fine, but I do not appreciate some of your phrasing. Fully aware you probably didn't intend it that way, just a gentle nudge. Have a nice day!

#ask #cli speaks

[mojavepumpkin]

2/4/24

I wanted to write a blog post because I haven't in a while but Tumblr tried it's darndest to impede me. Why is signing in on web so hard???? BUT! I have news! I have deleted TikTok! I don't want to be addicted to my phone. It added NOTHING to my life, just took away time. If there's anything I don't want to lose; its time. AAAAAnyway, I would like to make blog posting a more regular thing -- quite enjoyable. Today has been mostly a complete wash; rained all day, did nothing. Do you ever get that feeling like you just can't get comfortable? That's me right now. I don't feel like... GOOD. At all. I'm like weirdly itchy, my neck hurts, the lighting in my room is bad, my room is messy, I feel bloated and hungry at the same time.

Okay, took a break to eat and I actually feel a little better. School is not cancelled tomorrow which is a massive bummer. I think I'm going to clean my room, then I have to do homework :(((((((, I need to figure out some public speaking stuff so I'll do that too. I need to figure out my next couple of walks so I can plan them. Also; would not mind getting back to reading, I only work tuesday this week so I should be able to get a lot of stuff done -- SPEAKING OF WORKING, my friday and saturday shifts went decently well, makes me want to rethink quitting. I was worried about saturday because it's lunch which is always stressful, and it was stressful, but I did it. And I'm proud. I hope whenever we go to the beach next it's sunny and warm, because this weekend really sucked it big time.

I feel better about myself now that I've deleted tiktok, I think the next step is to delete all social media BS and just use my phone for the necessary stuff. r/dumphones has some good ideas. I like the idea of using my laptop for social media stuff because then using it feels more intentional, like I'm actively making the decision to use it instead of just using it because it's there. I've gotten really into r/EDC (every day carry) stuff too, and they kind of facilitate eachother, using your phone for less stuff necessitates carrying more stuff with you. I think I need a Kindle or some ereader thing, I want to get back into reading daily. I like the greyscale phone set-ups, I think it would help a lot with the whole "going-to-my-phone-when-I'm-bored" thing. I think the greyscale dumbiphone is the most elegant solution to the phone addiction problem because I can still use it for work stuff, calls, emails, taking pictures, listening to music, podcasts, maps, carplay, BUT its less attractive bc greyscale. - tangent over.

I have a weird neckache and I think it's because of how I sit when I write. Really, I lay down -- I should write at my desk, I suppose.

#blog #r196

[surveysand]

fourteen.

Do you know anyone named Austin? yes. When was the last time you held hands with someone? yesterday. Who was the last person to make you laugh? one of my friends. Who was the last person you talked to in person? my partner.

In winter, would you rather wear jackets or hoodies? hoodies.

Do you wish you were somewhere else right now? not really. Look in your inbox in your phone, who are all the people you have texts from? so many. i don't delete conversations unless they are spam/automated messages. How many pillows do you sleep with? i keep four on my bed, but i only really use two. i lay my head on one and hold the other. Honestly, when was the last time anyone saw you in your underwear? a few weeks ago. Last person you talked to on the phone? my partner. Kiss anyone in the last week? yes. How much money is in your wallet? $18. Anything exciting happen lately? i graduated from college a few weeks ago. Who was the last person to look at you like you were crazy? not sure.

Has someone disappointed you recently? yes. Do you get along with your friends’ boyfriends / girlfriends? yes, though i haven't met them a ton of times. Do you know anyone who is having a baby?

a few people i graduated with are pregnant. i don't talk to them though, just see them on social media. Have you ever been called heartless? no. Looking back, did you ever think you’d be where you’re at in life now? no. it's dark, but i thought i would be dead by now. What are the last spoken words you heard? "you can't talk about dancing" from the tv show i'm watching. How many months are there until your birthday? three. Do you prefer regular or chocolate milk? chocolate. When was the last time you had Starbucks? probably close to a year ago. i'm a dunkin' girl. How many letters are in your last name? five. Have you lost friends in the past year? no. Who did you last text? my mom. Do you think relationships are ever really worth it? absolutely. Last November, who were you in a relationship with? my partner. Do you still talk to the person you last kissed? yes. What was your last phone call about? just to talk. Do you think you are an argumentative person? depends on the conversation, but yes. How are you feeling right now? a little hungry. Do you think someone is thinking about you right now? maybe. Are you someone who worries too often? yes. How has the week been? boring and stressful. Have you ever dyed your hair? no. Have you ever been in a play? yes, many times. How many children do you want? two, at most. Do you have a bad temper? no. i get annoyed easily, but i don't have outbursts/throw tantrums easily. Have you ever spent the night in the hospital? no. Want to get something off your chest? lots of things, but not anything i really want to get into in a tumblr survey post, lol. Anything good happening tomorrow? no. Are you saving up money for anything in particular? rent. Is there a girl that knows everything or mostly everything about you? yes, my best friend. Is there someone you want to talk to right now? no. Does the person you like know that you like them? yes. Where did you get the shirt you are wearing? it was from a t-shirt order for one of the musicals i was in when i was in high school.  Were you happy when you woke up today? no. Last thing you ate? pasta. Doing anything special tonight? no.

[angelicimagines]

(Regular Ask | Any Mod) Post-Game Hajime, Nagito, Gundham, Sonia, and Akane dating the Ultimate Enologist who always plays tricks on them with swapping their drinks (innocently). Like; Hajime being asked to taste their new concoction, and it's literally just orange juice/favorite drink with no sweetener/additives, LOL.

Hello there Anon. This reminds me a lot of those "potions" that we all made when we were kids but they were really just soap and some other stuff mixed with water. I also took some creative liberties with this one cuz I had to mix it up a bit. Here's your request. In other news tumblr crashed on me in the middle of this and deleted a whole ass section. I am ready to fight god with only primal rage as my weapon. -Mod Shuichi

(Post–Game) Hajime Hinata, Nagito Komaeda, Gundham Tanaka, Sonia Nevermind, Akane Owari with a playful Ultimate Enologist!S/O.

Hajime Hinata🍊

🍊 Is immediately suspicious of you. You served him a glass of your new "concoction" but it just tasted like orange juice. Does he look like an idiot to you? 🍊 Begins "interrogating" you about the drink like you're in a trial. You must be the ultimate actor because your acting skills were top notch during the questioning. 🍊 He's out of truth bullets, shit. You got lucky this time, he has his eye on you. 🍊 He is also a massive hypocrite. 🍊 He loves watching others' reactions to your "concoctions". You usually pull this trick when they have already tried some of your original work, so they definitely don't expect to taste lemon juice in what is supposed to be a glass of your newest work. 🍊 Tries to hold in his laughter because then it would look suspicious, like you two were up to something. Maybe in the future though. 🍊 Back on track, he just knows you're paying tricks on him and wants to confront you about it, but… 🍊 Man's a simp. You're just so happy whenever someone falls for your tricks and you genuinely have a passion for creating and pranking and who is he to stop your fun. 🍊 When you do pull the trick on him, y'all have a back and forth debate on whether or not the drink is actually a new creation or apple juice. 🍊 You insist it's a new concoction and he goes "NO THAT'S WRONG!" Oh shit, he's onto you. Rethink your strategy stat! 🍊 You gave him something actually original and said it was "orange juice". 🍊 He drinks it, blinks a few times, and then glares at you. You apparently have a deathwish because you lean closer to his face and feign innocence, batting your eyelashes at him while asking what's wrong. 🍊 You expected another interrogation or maybe a "listen here you little shit", not a kiss on the lips. A surprise to be sure. 🍊 That was the start of a routine. Everytime you played your tricks on him, he'd pull you in and kiss you. You didn't know why he did that, but it was a fun way to get kisses. 🍊 If you ask him, he'd say he wanted you to taste teste your new drink <3

Nagito Komaeda☘️

☘ Very conflicted on how to feel. On one hand, he is sure what he is drinking is not the liquor you said it was; but on the other, who is he to doubt an ultimate? ☘ Plays along and congratulates you on your drink, saying it was very tasty. Bonus points if you do this trick in front of others and they're saying it's plain juice and not whatever fancy name you had said. ☘ Lowkey loves when others argue about your drinks. He always takes your side and it's hilarious. ☘ "I'm telling you that's not wine, it's cranberry juice!" ☘ "It's wine, if the Ultimate Enologist says so then it's wine. Did you spend years studying wines and their craft?" ☘ "I'M NOT AN IDIOT THAT'S CRANBERRY JUICE!" ☘ After a few more tricks he figures it out. You're playing a prank on him huh. ☘ He lets you know by saying thanks for the juice instead of whatever it is you said it was. ☘ You almost dropped the glass you were holding. He thought it was due to his luck, but he let it pass. Your face was just too funny to let the opportunity pass. ☘ Even though he knows, he still plays pretend from time to time. One because it makes you happy and two because you have to keep the illusion going for the others. ☘ You bargained with him over that last point. You promised him cuddles (after lot's of convincing that he did deserve them) in exchange for him acting along when you pulled your trick on others. ☘ Now he gets your cuddles, free drinks, and gets to witness your funny moments when you pull the prank on others. Man he really is lucky. ☘ If you name a drink after him or if one of your drinks is inspired by him he'll cry. Will refuse to drink it himself. ☘ You also share a drink that you say it's a new wine but it's really just dyed water. Others are confused by your couple ritual but y'all are happy so who cares. ☘ Nothing makes him happier than hugging you while you work on your drinks though, it fills him with hope <3

Gundham Tanaka🐹

🐹 Is convinced you're working with dark magic. You made wine taste like orange juice, what type of sorcery do you practice? 🐹 Asks you to see the process to check for magic. Oh no, you're fucked. 🐹 Or so it seems. When he's not looking you swap the drinks and keep the illusion going. He has yet to find out. 🐹 You sometimes pretend to add blood (red food coloring) to the decorations of the glass you serve your drink in and pour a special wine into them to make it look like blood. 🐹 People are convinced you two are vampires because of this. 🐹 You make non alcoholic drinks for the Devas in exchange for protection and a special place in his dark realm. You can also pet the devas free of repercussions. 🐹 Is insulted when someone even dares to suspect your drinks aren't really anything new. How dare they question the work of his soul's chosen companion sorry Hajime. 🐹 Very confused as to why others argue with you over your drinks. He is certain the contents of that glass are not apple juice, it's your new concoction inspired by the Devas. 🐹 The day he finds out your secret is the day the apocalypse began (not really but it felt like it). 🐹 You were preparing your drinks for the trick and waiting for him. He decided to surprise you by showing up a bit earlier and that resulted in him catching you mid switch. 🐹 Kept staring at you and the drink back and forth repeatedly, until the information was processed. 🐹 He's been tricked, sabotaged, and quite possibly bamboozled. 🐹 Began to doubt your status as a mortal and started having a crisis. In front of two perfectly fine drinks but ok. You came clean after that and he feigned betrayal. Even got the devan in on it too. 🐹 Both of you acted like it was a scene from a telenovela while trying to hold in y'alls laughter. You eventually got to the part where you begged for forgiveness. 🐹 Will forgive you on one condition, you pull that trick on Souda <3

Sonia Nevermind👑

👑 Before you even got to pull your tricks on her you were already her own personal enologist. Only the best for a princess. 👑 Does notice that your concoctions taste strangely like every day juices you can buy from the store, but she decides to give you the benefit of the doubt. 👑 Loves it when you do it to others though. She might not know what is happening but watching you argue with Fuyuhiko over what you just served him is hilarious. 👑 Gets whiplash whenever you pull your trick right after a formal event. You serve a magnificent cocktail never seen or tasted before and the next second you serve her what tastes like pineapple juice. 👑 You come to her for inspiration on what drinks to do next, it mostly involves references to the occult disguised as fancy people drinks. 👑 Does she find out about your secret? Yep 👑 She was looking for you to spend quality time together when she say you pour a glass of peppermint lemonade and label it as "new drink". 👑 Someone walked up to your stand and asked to try said drink and you served them the lemonade. They were extremely confused and from there a discussion started. 👑 She scurried away before you could catch her, equally as confused as the poor customer you just served. 👑 The next day, she asked to try some of your drinks and they all tasted like normal drinks. What happened to your awesome concoctions you served during parties? 👑 She's on a mission now, she's gonna get to the bottom of this mystery. 👑 One time, while you weren't looking, she snuck into your storage room to confirm her suspicion and found you working on your new wine (legit this time). 👑 You didn't seem to mind she had snuck into your storage room and invited her over to see the process. After that was done you offered her a glass as a taste test. 👑 She took a sip and it tasted like…mango juice? When she looked at you with a confused expression you laughed and offered her a glass of the actual drink. 👑 In that moment she realized she doesn't mind your tricks that much, if it makes you smile that brightly she'll always for for it <3

Akane Owari🤸

🤸 She would gulp down anything that you "concocted" for her because she loves you and you make killer drinks. 🤸 Would probably "get drunk" on whatever you decided to give her because of placebo effects and whatnot. 🤸 It is very fun to give her something like lemon water and saying it's a new type of tequila and you want her to do the honors of taste testing it. 🤸 Gladly does it and comments that it takes a bit like lemon. Then gives suggestions to other flavour you could add in your "tequila". 🤸 Others have tried to convince her it wasn't a new concoction because after the ntheenth time she had fallen for the trick it got a bit worrying. 🤸 She denies it every time. 🤸 One time you were serving her a glass of your new "drink" that was really just apple juice dyed to look like fine wine. 🤸 "Thanks for drink S/O, it looks delicious!" 🤸 You try to supress your giggles as she drank the whole thing and gave you back the glass. 🤸 She did comment that it "kinda tastes like apple juice" but that theory was dismissed due to the color of the drink. 🤸 Your plan fell right into place, good for you. Though the cheering had to be reserved for another time. 🤸 That time would be when you were cleaning the dishes because it gave you some alone time to cheer on your victory and you had a bunch of glasses to clean. 🤸 As you left with her empty glass in hand to get started on the dishes, Akane smiled to herself and lighty chuckled at the recent exchange 🤸 Plot twist, she knew that you were just messing with her. She played along with you because you always had the brightest smile whenever serving her a drink and she loved seeing you happy. 🤸 She just wants to see you happy, plus she gets free drinks <3

#mod shuichi #sdr2 x reader #sdr2 #goodbye despair x reader #danganronpa2 #danganronpa 2 x reader #super danganronpa 2 #goodbye despair #danganronpa goodbye despair #gundham tanaka x reader #gundham x reader #gundham tanaka #hajime x reader #hajime hinata x reader #hajime hinata #nagito komaeda #nagito komeada x reader #nagito x reader #sonia nevermind #sonia nevermind x reader #sonia x reader #akane x reader #akane owari #akane owari x reader

[viva-la-rebel]

Goodbye

Hey everyone- this is my official goodbye for tumblr. This site has made such a huge impact on my views and life. I applaud tumblr for letting me explore not only myself but the (mostly) wonderful people on it. It was thru this site I realized I was bi. I made tumblr friends and got to explore my writing. Some of my favorite shows I started because of stuff I saw here.

However, as much as this site holds a place in my heart- I’ve outgrown it. I came on to the site at 15 on the day of Mishapocolyse (yeah that was my first impression). I’m in my 20s now and have a house and a dog and this just doesn’t have a place in my life anymore.

And, I have to say it, tumblr has a at times been a toxic place. I remember in my first months of tumblr, literally not knowing anything, I accidentally reposted art without credit. I was flooded with hate comments, telling me what a shitty person I was. I deleted it and reached out to the original creator and apologized. While the creator was nice enough, it did show me the first ugly side of tumblr.

A few years later I did a cute little thing where if you reblogged a post I made, I would give you a good message or something. Most messages I got were so wholesome, but there were others telling me how irresponsible and bad of me it was to do this because I would never get to everybody. I was trying to do a nice thing and it still wasn’t enough and was turn into something bad. (And I did get to everyone so fuck you).

I also made a supernatural video (ah yes my first hard core fandom RIP) and tagged it with some characters it didn’t focus on. The amount of hate I got was horrible. I had strangers telling me to literally kill myself over a shitty fan-made video I made at 17.

While the majority of tumblr is a great place to explore, too many of its users don’t want to have adult conversations, y’all want an echo chamber. If someone don’t agree or makes a different point (IN A RESPECTABLE WAY MIND YOU)- they are toxic and told to fuck off. I promise you- no matter what fandom or community you are in, it has toxic people. They only want to be told they are right and do not want to think but do as they are told. Do not be this person, that is not the way the world works. Even if you and some else agree on 99.9% of things, there will always be something you don’t. Be adults and have conversations.*

*this is not me saying any phobic or racists people get a pass on their views- y’all are the worst kind of trash. This is more about views on regular things

While this site has made me happy, it’s also taken a toll on my mental health (something people who post here preach about yet rarely hold themselves accountable for causing mental stress). I was so worried about making fucking strangers mad that I would have anxiety for days. Some of you are so busy calling out other people that you fail to look inwards and see who you are and what toxic traits you have. Ive people literally run off this site and told they are shit because they didn’t update fan fiction regularly! Fan fiction! A free fucking sometime a book-worths of story for you- for free! And they are told they are shit because they have lives outside and they don’t update at the exact time they promised.

I’ve seen this site grow wholesome communities. I’ve seen friendships made on this site. I’ve seen so many amazing pieces of art and beautiful writing. I’ve been lucky enough to talk to some really great people. But I’ve seen this site literally cause real world harm. I have seen this site turn people hateful, I have seen this site make people fearful of making one mistake. I’ve seen people such down, I’ve seen people afraid to speak up.

On a last note: just because you are liberal, and think everyone deserves rights, pro-choice, all that stuff (which I totally agree with) it does not mean you are a good person. You can be a bad person with liberal views. You need to be a good person to those around you first. Evolve and learn.

I know this post won’t mean much in the grand cesspool that is this site but to those who it reaches- this site is not the end all be all. Your true friends, who listen to what you have to say- they matter. Your chosen family and friends- they matter. So if you see someone getting hate, speak up because if someone did that for me- I might leave this site with a better taste in my mouth.

✌🏻bye yall

#tumblr #toxic people #toxic tumblr #goodbye #peace out #and honestly fuck 94% of you