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#we get a lot of homework in my school
transmechanicus · 1 year
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“I’ll be fine i just need to uhhhhhhh idk kill” but like…what if i did haha
#my stuff#dear diary and the several thousand mfs who can see it. Despite arguably good academic performance today feels like a bad day#bc i skipped lab to take a nap#and i feel lonely and incapable of connecting more than superficially with my classmates#like i can talk to them and i do and we get along well but i never…hang out w em#or at least not as much as they seem to without me#it’s not a malicious thing i think a huge part of it is groups of ppl living or working in the same space#and i’m in a different lab building than a lot of ppl#idk…struggling to find anything that sparks joy. unable to see the future with optimism#it’s just day after day of Job where i’ll beat myself up on weekends if i don’t do Even More Work#bc that’s the nature of grad school. always homework or literature review to do like i give a shit abt the latter#i don’t care what other people are doing i don’t wanna obsessively comb through journals to make sure i’m doing Brand New Shit#i want it to stop#i don’t want to read anymore. i don’t wanna have to worry about my job outside of work.#i want to cry and scream and#like i don’t wanna quit after i worked so hard to get here#i don’t wanna wuss out#but i’m always tired. i’m never rested or relaxed or truly enjoying myself#why is this only hard for me…how tf is everyone else able to read and remember and understand this much??#like yeah maybe i should be on adhd meds but those are fuckin spensive and a pain in the ass to get#i’m tired of being tough#i want to curl into a ball and be told it’s going to be okay and that i can rest and have it not be a lie or a half measure
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bitches be like "wish i was doing something of worth for society/my local community" while doing three time-intensive community jobs unpaid and walking around as a living leftist/queer symbol and occasionally leaving behind leftist stickers
it's me i'm bitches
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femmesandhoney · 20 days
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I need motivation to study
why r u asking me then 😭
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aritimena · 8 months
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five stages of Bink’s Sake:
1. what is that audio of Uta One Piece singing a sea shanty?
2. fuck yeah Bink’s Sake
3. Hey it’s in the Netflix show :D!!!
4. Brook’s Backstory…
5. ah fuck it’s in my head forever now
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actualtoad · 2 years
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i stayed after school but im leaving already. some random kid showed up and was there for a while so it wasn’t a good time really. and when i only get to stay after until 3:30 it hardly makes anything better than going home. i just feel bad for imposing myself
#i don’t want to go home#i should have told my mom to pick me up at 5#this is nothing. why did i even bother#idk. me and my teacher talked about this summer and how im going to be trying to work a lot#he says i shouldn’t overwork myself like that. and i said i need to if i want to go to college#and he said that i shouldn’t even be trying to pay for college tuition and what i should be focusing on is money for living expenses in my#sophomore and junior and senior years. he says i should only do room and board for one year#and i should be saving for apartment expenses later down the line and don’t even think about paying off tuition until way after i graduate#and he said the universe will always provide. idk if im very convinced about that one#anyway we talked about that a little and then i brought up how im not good at keeping up with school#and he ended up saying i should probably work on my one assignment#and so i did and now im almost done. and somewhere within there some random kid showed up he had my teacher last year i think? or something#and im not good at talking when there’s more than one people in a room with me and so i just did my homework and was quiet#and my teacher started going home at 3:30#so now im here. i left the classroom and now im just at school#since i don’t have a ride here yet. im not sure when my mom is gonna come get me#probably soon. and we have to get groceries on the way which i don’t really want to#but whatever. she’s giving me a ride#anyway i didn’t tell mr h about my concerns about the summer#i might still bring it up sometime. but i cant stay after tomorrow#and then it’s the last week of school and im really nervous about it being the last week of school#i want to go home but i don’t have the kind of home i want to go home to!!!!#and i don’t know what to do and that’s why im stuck like this#my mom is on her way to pick me up so i’ll be leaving soon#but yeah. idk. staying after was good i guess but i just don’t want to go home#im so scared of not having this option anymore
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kellystar321 · 1 year
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#periodical life updates#finished all my criminology homework! now i got sunday off to chill and maybe draw and also me and my sibs might go to chinatown? but idk#because dad's bbq-ing which might change some plans. anyway! eating dinner now :> its not my favorite but it is okay <3#high priority art to-dos: commission | daily eca (for tomorrow and the project) | art for *** and ******* | annual birthday redraw#general arts: mrd thing for monday | solepsi art | things for the ace iterations | the cases ref#self indulgence: drawtectives (i wanna draw more eugenes) | agent | fun ace things#my queue is winding down so that might go quiet in a bit <3 there's about a dozen things left <3 we'll see i suppose <3#project sekai updates: cannot believe i have to wait 6 more events until the next wxs event i just want a cool emu :'0#my strongest team is all four stars except for a three star emu; i just want a 4 star for her <3 also!! nicori smile survey for that event!#and also its probably the one where tsukasa makes a child cry by yelling about how hes gonna be a cool star hgkjh#but theres been so many events that just! arent wxs! it's been 13 events since the last one to the next one we get u-u <33 i miss them;;;#but we get some mmj ones so at least theres that <3 mmj's my assigned group and wxs's my favorite group so i have an attachment to both <3#but yeah im gonna save up gems for a cool emu card <3 theres the valentines day one too? AND ALSO. TSUKASA AS A KNIGHT?#FOR THE WHITE DAY EVENT!! HE LOOKS AESTHETIC AS HEL I LOVE KNIGHTS!!! <3 so maybe i'll try for those!!#im also writing a drawtectives fic and recently i drew some aces from one of the old aus <3 i miss him i love my little guy <33#im downloading all my old twitter archives. i have a lot of memories there i need to keep or else i'll be so sad <3 trying my best <33#i have school on monday as usual <3 can you believe my birthdays coming up this month? it feels like ive been 21 forever hgjkh <3#i think thats all the updates for now; im sleepy <33 goodnight. thank you for reading; ily <33
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melonpond · 2 years
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I'm still reeling from just how many things happened today
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emily-mooon · 15 days
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Because everything related to school is technology based, I can see why I barely got anything done in high school
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why is there always more
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glitchybrook · 8 months
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Day 1 ?
hi, it’s been a while… school started on sunday for me (the 3rd) and i’ve been in a rut ever since. which is so weird for me because i usually have A LOT of motivation and drive the first few days or weeks (if i’m lucky) then i’m back to normal i guess. this time however, on the first day already, i came back home from school soooo lethargic it was actually painful. this is me trying to get a hold of myself because this is my senior year (woohoo!) and i have about 2 months to be excellent before uni apps.
Things i need to do
clean study room
make space for new notebooks and textbooks
declutter and pack pencil case
put labels on notebooks
revise physics
find that english letter
revise maths expertes
PACK YOUR FREAKING PLANNER AND USE IT! (turns out my planner finished in august and not december like i thought it would-oops)
bring a gigantic bag for the textbooks tomorrow
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kuiinncedes · 9 months
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c:
#u know#last semester i realized like the high expectations i was putting on myself to be 'perfect' not rly perfect but like high expectations lol#and it caused me a lot of stress and i think i kinda let that go a little for classes#like i just need to do my best#but now i feel like it's fucking transferred to being director of my silly little shits and giggles we swing glowsticks around on shoelaces#club#lmao#like#had our first legit board meeting for this year and i spent 4765834649283569 hours on the agenda before sending it to my board#and now im doing the same w the first fucking email :| just fucking reading it over and over and tweaking little words#and worrying it's too long and overthinking abt if i should be following the exact same timeline last yrs director did w his first email#and for absolutely no reason worrying that im just fucking lying to everyone in my email lmfao#JFNJGKDSHGHSGKJDHF i have the time to do this rn (not rly i've been putting off work to just reread this fucking email lmfao)#but like this cant happen during the school year i'll be fucked LOL TT#i also just went and skimmed thru all the weekly emails from the director from my first yr in the club . two yrs ago#why did i do that lmfao#sdnfkjbdfjhbsjdlfhgkdfhgadihuhgadksjfksldfj well having classes and homework and being too busy to agonize over it will stop me right#right#part of it is also i'm kinda waiting on our club advisor to send me details for sm...... idk if he has them / when he'll get that to me lol#but it would be nice to have in this email#and if not it'll be in the next email but#anywaygbhjfbsdljfkgjfj#i need to do some work so i can just be on tumblr for surprise song oclock XD#jeanne talks
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kittyhazelnut · 1 year
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society if I didn't have a million years of homework every fucking day
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#don't be a nurse guys#nursing school sucks ass#and if you do become a nurse don't go to my school because my school sucks even more ass#shoutout to my professor for being so fucking bad that we got kicked out of our clinical site#(technically she got kicked out the students didn't but we can't go without an instructor so we had a dif instructor twice but the rest of#our clinicals will be in our school lab)#because now whenever i complain about my school i dont have to talk about how they never update the paperwork and the syllabus is full of#lies and the teachers are almost all part-time and never communicate with one another so no one knows what's going on#and the head of the department doesn't like answering questions and just directs you to the rubric that is of course full of lies#(and our project says we get groups of three but we only get groups of two? and they kept saying they'd assign groups but they didn't?#so we picked our own partner except they didn't really make that clear and the decision wasn't even made until at least a week after we#were supposed to have our partners picked for us? and then the course calendar says we have to do a PowerPoint for the project but we dont#it's actually a poster but they never updated the calendar except wait they have changed the calendars like four times since the semester#started and half the time didn't even announce it and they just never changed the PowerPoint thing)#but yeah instead of saying all that shitty stuff about my school i can just point to the fact that we got booted out of the clinical site#because our instructor sucked so much and that gets the point across pretty damn well with a lot fewer words#okay rant over gonna go to homework until dance starts#and then probably do homework after dance too#fuck my life ✌️
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malusokay · 6 months
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becoming a better student ₊˚⊹♡
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Prepare for your classes ˚୨୧⋆。˚ ⋆
Wake up on time. We don't want to be stressed first thing in the morning, right?
Eat breakfast. So you will be able to better focus in class.
Assigned reading and homework. Make sure you are prepared for your classes!! :)
Review your notes. Going through some of your flashcards before class is really helpful.
Check your bag and charge your devices. Ensure you have everything you need: Books, homework, chargers, pens, water...
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In Class ˚୨୧⋆。˚ ⋆
Listen and pay attention. You can save yourself a lot of trouble by simply paying attention, trust me.
Take notes. My favourite note-taking method is the Cornell method; I can make a separate post on that!! <3
"Quick notes." If you struggle with note-taking, try taking quick and messy notes. You can clean them up once you get home!!
Engage. If you have any questions or don't understand something, make sure to ask!! Most teachers really appreciate students who speak up. :)
No distractions. Turn off your phone, no chatting, you'll be glad...
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After class ˚୨୧⋆。˚ ⋆
Finish your assignments as soon as you can. Go home, put on a cosy outfit, have a snack, and get working!! <3
Prepare flash cards. A great way of reviewing your notes, too... :)
Update your Study schedule. Write down any assignment and due dates, reading you must do, upcoming tests, etc...
Clean up your notes. Review them, highlight the important parts, and maybe even make them look cute!! :)
Don't avoid topics/Subjects you dislike. I know it is tempting, but you can't avoid them forever, so you might as well get them done
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Structure and routine ˚୨୧⋆。˚ ⋆
Goals and Priorities. Keep them realistic and manageable.
Time management. Having a set schedule makes studying less overwhelming; it takes some discipline but is so worth it!! <3
Develop a routine. Figure out what works best for you; I prefer studying in the morning or at night.
No "zero days". Even if you can only do a bit, do it!! NO. ZERO. DAYS.
Remember your goals. Dreams will keep you motivated; remind yourself of what you're working for!! <3
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Self-care and balance ˚୨୧⋆。˚ ⋆
Don't forget about your hobbies. You need to do things that make you happy, so make time for those things!!
Maintain a balanced diet. I know chocolates and junk are tempting, especially when you are busy studying all day, but you're not doing yourself any favours.
Sleep. Sleep. Sleep. 8 Hours. Non-negotiable.
Exercise regularly. Even if it's just a walk, put on some headphones, listen to music, and give yourself a break. <3
Care for your social life. Reach out to your friends, make plans, and keep in touch; a good work-life balance is critical!!
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Romanticising ˚୨୧⋆。˚ ⋆
Study dates. Meet up with your friends at a cosy cafe, discuss your work, and have some fun!! Studying doesn't have to be all serious all the time ;)
Silly Pinterest boards. Visualising your goals will help you find motivation!!
Music to set the mood. I have a bunch of playlists on my Spotify that might help!! <3
Cosy sweater and candles. The cosy Rory Gilmore vibes haha...
Getting a coffee before class. A little treat before things get serious... Simple pleasures, you know? :)
Babes, The hiatus is OVER, and I'm finally back!! I got a lot of asks on studying, burnout, and school in general, so I thought, why not start off with a little student guide?? I Hope October has been kind to you, and school hasn't been too overwhelming (though I know it, unfortunately, has been for many of you), and I'm glad to finally be back!! <33
As always, Please feel free to add your own suggestions and tips in the comments!!
✩‧₊*:・love ya ・:*₊‧✩
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starryhyuck · 3 months
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pairing: slytherin!jaemin x afab!ravenclaw!reader
words: 10.3k+
summary: na jaemin has asked you out every year since you came to hogwarts. maybe this is the year you’ll say yes.
genre: fluff, angst, smut
warnings: reader is shy, slight corruption kink, penetrative sex, loss of virginity, voyeurism, fingering, cunnilingus, public sex, squirting, creampies, messy sex
You’re in your first year at Hogwarts when Na Jaemin asks you out for the first time.
The both of you are standing in the middle of the courtyard and his ears are blooming red, either from the cold or pure embarrassment. He’s holding a chocolate frog, outstretching his hand to you.
“I think you’re pretty.”
You try to ignore the fact that your friends are squealing behind you. Your eyes are only focused on Jaemin, who’s wearing his signature smile. His best friends, Jeno and Donghyuck, are snickering behind him.
You know you want to tell the Slytherin that he’s pretty too, or at least thank him for the gift, but somehow your brain completely short circuits.
Your eleven-year-old self runs away from the group and back into the Hogwarts castle, breaking Na Jaemin’s heart for the first time.
You’re in your second year when Na Jaemin asks you out for the second time.
Your rejection of Jaemin the previous year spread around school like wildfire. Many of your friends asked you why you turned him down, especially when he was one of the most desired boys in your year. You didn’t know how to explain that he made you extremely nervous and his declaration of affection caused you to hate the attention you started receiving.
“Jaemin’s looking at you,” Doyeon giggles in your ear.
Your eyes wander up from your Potions book to see that, indeed, Jaemin is sitting at one of the library tables across the room, focus directed at you. You swallow and return your gaze to your textbook.
“Don’t you want to ask him why he’s staring at you?” Doyeon whines at your lack of enthusiasm. “He clearly still likes you!”
The librarian shushes your table and Doyeon sticks her tongue out when they’re not looking.
You sigh. “I just want to finish my Potions essay, Doyeon.”
You can practically see her roll her eyes in response. Jaemin has tried talking to you since the incident, jumping at any chance to partner with you during your classes together. You’ve only offered him rapid blinks and slow nods in return.
You groan when Doyeon suddenly elbows your side.
“Go and get me the book we need for Charms, please.”
“What? Why can’t you get it?” You frown, eyebrows furrowed.
She sighs as if you’re the one causing a problem. She gives you one of her signature looks and you grumble, pulling yourself away from the table. When you finally find the aisle you’re looking for, you nearly gasp when you see Jaemin there too.
Oh Doyeon, you sneaky witch.
He says your name like you’ve just caught the Golden Snitch. “Nice to see you!”
You smile awkwardly, ignoring the butterflies swarming your stomach.
“Hi, Nana.”
He beams when you call him by his nickname. You falter at his clear enthusiasm. You wish you were just slightly more brave to carry a conversation with him, but you resort to clumsily searching for Doyeon’s book. You sigh when you realize it’s on the top shelf.
Before you can attempt to grab it, you feel Jaemin’s chest press against your back as he easily takes it for you. You yelp at the proximity, ignoring his cheerful smile as he hands the book over to you.
“Looking for this?”
You try your best to steady your voice. “Um, yes?”
He chuckles. “You don’t sound so sure about it.”
Despite the book being safely in your hands, he shows no signs of stepping away from you. You avoid any eye contact you could possibly make with him.
“I should get back to my table,” you whisper softly. “Doyeon probably wants to get started on her Charms homework.”
“Meet me at the Astronomy Tower tonight?”
You blink at Jaemin’s question. He’s still smiling happily, fully expecting you to say yes.
“Um, I have a lot of work to get done tonight. Potions essay and all of that.”
“Oh,” he murmurs bashfully, scratching the back of his neck and taking a step away from you. “That’s okay. Some other night then?”
“Okay!” You squeak, taking your chance and scurrying away from him. Your abrupt departure prevents you from seeing the hopeful look in his eyes.
When you return to your table, Doyeon is smirking mischievously.
“You sure took a long time getting that book.”
“I hate you.”
You’re in your third year when Na Jaemin asks you out for the third time.
“Dude, she’s not going out with you. It’s starting to look super desperate.”
Jeno has to physically prevent Jaemin from lunging across the Great Hall table and attacking Donghyuck.
“Hyuck,” Renjun scolds from his spot next to Jeno. “You know Jaemin’s sensitive about it.”
“Whatever,” Donghyuck rolls his eyes. “All I’m saying is that everyone knows you like her, and if she liked you, then moves would have already been made.”
“You don’t know anything,” Jaemin hisses. “She’s just shy, that’s all. She doesn’t like the attention.”
Jeno glares at Donghyuck as a signal for him to shut up. Renjun even shoves a spoonful of chicken into Donghyuck’s mouth to make sure of it.
Jaemin’s focus returns to you as you’re giggling into your hand at something Yoo Jimin says. He fondly smiles at the sight of you looking so happy from across the Great Hall. He wishes you would look that happy whenever you see him too.
His attempts at getting you to agree to a date has been less than successful to say the least. Donghyuck was right — everyone in the Wizarding World knew of Jaemin’s crush at this point, but you still showed no signs of returning his affections.
“I’m not saying Donghyuck’s right or anything,” Renjun timidly brings up, earning a warning look from Jeno. “But maybe you should try crushing on someone else. Who knows? Maybe she’ll get jealous.”
Jaemin scoffs at the idea. As if he could like anyone else but you. It sounded unbelievably pathetic, but you were all he thought about. He wanted nothing but to hold your hand and kiss you in front of everyone.
Even if it made him the running joke to the rest of the houses, he didn’t care. He only desired you.
His blood boils when he sees Shotaro approach your table, cheeks red as he asks to sit down next to you.
“What the hell is he doing?” Jaemin hisses.
Jeno coughs awkwardly. “I heard from Sungchan that Shotaro has a little crush.”
“What?” Jaemin practically yells, causing the rest of his house to shush him.
“Alright, let’s be calm about this,” Jeno says, knowing how irritated his best friend could get. “Jaemin-“
Jeno’s protests are ignored as Jaemin makes his way over to your table. Jeno runs a hand down his face, praying that Jaemin doesn’t make a complete fool out of himself.
You nearly jump out of your seat when you hear your name being called. You glance behind you to see Jaemin.
“O-Oh,” you stutter, not expecting his presence. You fail to notice Shotaro’s shoulders slump in defeat at the sight of the Slytherin. “Hi Nana.”
You pay no attention to Doyeon and Jimin’s raised eyebrows from their positions across from you. Jaemin forces his hands between you and Shotaro, creating enough distance for him to sit in the middle.
“What are we talking about over here?”
Doyeon and Jimin exchange a look before Doyeon speaks up. “Shotaro over here was just talking about going to Hogsmeade this weekend.”
“Oh? I didn’t even know Hufflepuffs went outside,” Jaemin hums. Doyeon and Jimin cover up their laughs with a cough.
“Hogsmeade trips are for all students,” you mention quietly.
Jaemin smiles at you. “That’s right! I was actually thinking about going to Madam Puddifoot’s, want to join?”
Every student knows that Madam Puddifoot’s is where all the couples go on dates. Since this is the first year you’re allowed to take weekend Hogsmeade trips, you haven’t gotten a chance to see it for yourself. However, the thought of going with Jaemin seemed way too nerve wracking.
“She would love to!” Jimin interjects, shooting you a look.
“Actually, I was going to ask her if she wanted to go with me,” Shotaro says, glaring at Jaemin.
The two boys suddenly engage in a heated staring contest, and you shift uncomfortably in your seat. Doyeon and Jimin, on the other hand, are thoroughly enjoying watching the current scene unfold.
“Maybe we can all go!” You say in an attempt to ease the tension.
Doyeon’s head hits the table in reaction to your stupidity. Jaemin and Shotaro turn to you with confused looks on their faces. Jimin decides to help you out.
“Actually, I just remembered we promised Minjeong we would meet her at Honeydukes to grab some sweets. Sorry boys, maybe next time.”
You squeak when Doyeon suddenly grabs your arm, and before you know it, you’re being pulled away from the table.
Once you’re out of sight, Jaemin turns to scowl at the Hufflepuff.
“Don’t even think about it. Everyone knows I like her.”
Shotaro scoffs. “Just because you like her doesn’t mean she likes you.”
“Watch it, Hufflepuff.”
“Game on, Slytherin.”
A few minutes of intense glaring occurs until Jeno and Sungchan both rush over to the table, pulling the two boys apart.
You’re in your fourth year when Na Jaemin asks you out for the fourth time.
The only difference this year is that you already have a boyfriend. You’ve been dating Shotaro for a couple of months, and everything seems to be going well.
The only bump in the road so far was your friends.
“Listen, I’m just saying that Shotaro is really sweet and nice, but you clearly took the easy way out,” Doyeon complains. “I know that deep down, you like Jaemin more.”
“Doyeon, I really don’t want to hear this again,” you sigh, trying your best to focus on your History of Magic homework.
Doyeon and Jimin brought Jaemin up at least once a week. Ever since you started dating Shotaro, Jaemin took a hint and spent less and less time trying to get your attention. You still noticed his lingering stares here and there, but Shotaro would always try to initiate skinship with you just to remind Jaemin who you were dating.
“What are we talking about?” Jimin asks, plopping down on the couch in the Ravenclaw common room.
“How Jaemin is better than Shotaro,” Doyeon responds.
You frown. “You know, Slytherins aren’t even allowed in here.”
The two Slytherins ignore your protests. “Oh, Jaemin is so much better,” Jimin echoes. “I think she just likes Shotaro because he’s quiet and shy like her. But Jaemin would show her a much better time.”
“Jimin!” You hiss, growing embarrassed by the second. “Can we not talk about this please? I’m dating Shotaro and I really like him.”
“Whatever you say, sweetheart.”
You try not to let their words get to you since you know Doyeon and Jimin love to tease you. The thought of Jaemin still lingers in your mind, however, and Shotaro starts to notice you distancing yourself a week later.
“Are you okay?” He asks apprehensively, almost afraid of hearing the answer. “You haven’t been yourself lately.”
“I’m fine!” You try to assure him, ignoring the worried look in his eyes. “I’m just stressed with homework, that’s all.”
He smiles and you can’t help but compare it to Jaemin. Jaemin’s smile is a little brighter and more captivating, always causing your brain to malfunction whenever he grins at you.
“You don’t need to worry. You’re the smartest girl in our year,” Shotaro assures.
You laugh nervously. “Thank you.”
A few moments pass while the two of you are walking down the hallway before Shotaro clears his throat. He seems even more anxious than you.
“Did you hear about the dance they’re hosting this year?”
“Oh,” you hum, thinking about it. You remember Doyeon excitedly chattering the details to you, talking animatedly about what kind of dress she plans on wearing and how she’s going to style her hair. Jimin was equally excited, attempting to also raise your enthusiasm about the event. “Doyeon and Jimin have been mentioning it to me.”
He beams. “Good! I was wondering if you wanted to go with me.”
You sheepishly stutter. You were honestly planning on skipping the dance in favor of getting a good night’s sleep. Although knowing Doyeon and Jimin, they would never let you ditch.
“S-Sure. That sounds nice.”
Shotaro’s smile extends tenfold, and he leans down to press a kiss against your cheek. You bashfully stare at your feet, avoiding his gaze.
When you relay the information to the two girls later, they’re so excited you agreed to go to the dance that they don’t even mention Jaemin. They eagerly discuss shopping plans and hair and makeup expectations, all while you panic on the inside.
They help you pick out a gorgeous blue gown that hugs your figure, which initially makes you nervous but with a lot of assurances from Doyeon and Jimin, you grow confident in your appearance. The girls do your hair and makeup for you, giggling about how cute you’re going to look.
“If only it was for Jaemin,” Jimin hums while applying your eyeshadow.
“Hey,” you protest softly. “You said you were happy that Shotaro asked me.”
“I am!” She argues. “It’s just that I know Jaemin really likes this color on you.”
“Is that why you picked this out for me?”
When the both of them fail to answer your question, you huff. Your curiosity gets the best of you, however.
“Is Jaemin going with anyone?”
You miss the look Doyeon and Jimin exchange over your head. “I heard he asked out Yizhuo,” Jimin answers.
“Oh,” you mumble. Yizhuo was a Slytherin girl in the same classes as both you and Jaemin, so it would make sense that he asked her. You remember her being very pretty and sweet whenever you got paired for projects together.
Doyeon smiles, sensing your disappointment even though you would never admit it. She presses a kiss to your forehead.
“Just have a good time tonight, my little flower.”
“You know I’m the same age as the both of you. You don’t have to keep acting like my moms.”
You giggle when they suddenly shower you in kisses as a response.
Shotaro perks up when you finally meet him outside of the Great Hall. He’s wearing a blue tie to match your dress, and he kisses the back of your hand in greeting.
“You look beautiful,” he compliments.
“Thank you,” you manage to whisper, feeling bashful by the attention.
Some of the other houses are stopping to look at you two, murmuring to each other and making you even more nervous. Your breath catches in your throat when you meet Jaemin’s eyes across the room. He’s smiling fondly at you, his emerald green tie matching Yizhuo’s dress.
Your heart sinks a little at the sight of them looking like a perfect pair standing next to one another. Shotaro nudges you out of your trance.
“Ready to go in?”
You nod, mustering your best smile. “Born ready.”
The night, by all means, was a picture perfect fairytale. Shotaro was a perfect gentleman as he led you on the dance floor, with you feeling slightly inferior to his incredible dance skills. You exchanged a few fun twirls with Doyeon and Jimin, giggling to one another in the midst of all the sparkle and flair. Your eyes only strayed a few times to catch the sight of a certain Slytherin boy dancing with his date.
It forces you to excuse yourself to catch your breath. Shotaro offers to go with you but you insist on him staying inside and enjoying himself.
Jaemin later finds you in the Astronomy Tower, overlooking the stars.
He clears his throat to make you aware of his presence, causing you to jump at the sound.
“Sorry,” he apologizes with a chuckle, taking the spot next to you. “I didn’t know I would catch you out here.”
“I just needed a breather,” you murmur, ignoring the fact that his arm is nearly pressed against yours. “It was getting a little stuffy in there.”
“Your boyfriend didn’t want to escort you out?”
If you notice an implication in Jaemin’s tone, you make no show of it.
“No, I told him to stay. He’s a great dancer, I don’t know if you’ve seen it.”
“Oh, I’ve seen it,” he says under his breath, almost with a hint of jealousy.
You two linger in silence for a bit before he breaks it.
“It would be wildly inappropriate for me to ask you out at this moment, right?”
You blink at him, startled by the sudden question.
“I thought you came with Yizhuo?”
“Yizhuo and I are just friends,” he brushes off. “She didn’t have a date and the girl I wanted had a date of her own already.”
He eyes you carefully and you flush in embarrassment, staring down at your hands.
“Jaemin, you know Shotaro is my boyfriend.”
“Yeah, that’s unfortunate, isn’t it?”
“Nana,” you whisper, hoping the nickname will convey exactly what you want to say. To tell him that despite your conflicting feelings, you’re still dating Shotaro and don’t want to hurt him in any way.
He nods in understanding before preparing to take his leave. “Before I go, I just wanted you to know you’re the prettiest girl I’ve ever seen. You took my breath away when I saw you. Shotaro’s a lucky guy and I hope he knows it.”
You watch pitifully as Jaemin heads back to the dance, ignoring the sound of your heart thumping in your ears.
You’re in your fifth year when Na Jaemin’s attempts start to falter for the first time.
You and Shotaro ended your relationship on good terms over the summer, agreeing that the both of you were better off as friends after holding hands started feeling too awkward. When Doyeon and Jimin found out about the amicable breakup, they were quick to get you back on your feet once you voiced your insecurities.
“Maybe it was me? Am I not pretty enough to kiss?”
They both frown, looking more disappointed than you’ve ever seen them.
“You are the prettiest girl at Hogwarts, so I have no idea where this is coming from,” Doyeon shakes her head, combing her fingers through your hair.
You’re sprawled on the floor of their shared bedroom after Jimin found a way to sneak you into the Slytherin dorms.
“You said it yourself that Shotaro and you broke up because it was too awkward. He never told you that you weren’t pretty enough to kiss,” Jimin reminds you.
“I know, I know,” you sigh. “But we just never did what normal couples do, you know? It made me start to think that it was because of me.”
“It could never be because of you,” Doyeon chides. “Besides, if you want to get kissed that bad, I know someone who would be first in line for that chance.”
It rattles you when you automatically know who she’s referring to.
“I heard he got a girlfriend over the summer,” you say quietly.
Jimin scoffs. “You heard wrong. I told you to only get gossip from me, I’m a reliable source. I’ve heard absolutely nothing about said girlfriend.”
The three of you are thoroughly surprised when you catch Jaemin the next day, hand in hand with Hyojung, a fellow Ravenclaw girl.
Jimin curses under her breath and Doyeon scolds her for not being the first one to know this new information. As the couple walk down the hallway, Jaemin’s eyes lock with yours. You both still, almost as if time has stopped in its tracks.
He’s the first one to break it, with Hyojung tugging on his arm and questioning why he suddenly stopped in the middle of the crowd. Your eyes well with tears before you stray from Doyeon and Jimin, finding an empty classroom to wallow your sorrows in.
Why were you so sad? It’s not like you had anything romantic in line for you and Jaemin. After all, you were the one who’s been rejecting him since you first stepped foot in Hogwarts.
You decide to ignore your muddled feelings for most of the first half of the year. Jaemin and Hyojung seem to be going strong and despite Jimin’s endless apologies, you insist that you’re happy for the couple and wish them all the best.
You get paired with Jeno for a Charms project as the winter season approaches. Jeno proves to be a diligent partner, equally dividing work and quietly finishing your portions of the project in the library together.
The question itches at the back of your mind one night, and you can’t stop yourself from asking.
“Jeno, how did Jaemin and Hyojung get together?”
He’s surprised by the inquiry, head tilted in confusion. “Well, their parents are friends and they used to be close when they were younger. They decided to give the relationship a try over the summer to see if it fits.”
You nod and thank him for answering. An hour passes in silence before he bites back.
“Why do you ask?”
You chew on the end of your pencil nervously. “I was curious. They just seemed to get together out of the blue.”
He studies your expression carefully. “You broke up with Shotaro over the summer, right?”
“Uh, yeah,” you reply awkwardly. “We decided it wasn’t a good fit for us.”
He hums in understanding.
The two of you finish your homework session without any more probing questions, and Jeno is fast to locate his Slytherin best friend afterwards.
Jaemin is startled when Jeno almost runs him over outside of the Slytherin dorms.
“What’s up with you?”
Jeno huffs, out of breath from rushing all around Hogwarts in search of him.
“Things with you and Hyojung — they’re not serious, right?”
Jaemin shrugs. “She’s pretty and nice. It’s not a bad relationship.”
“But it’s not a really good one either?”
“I mean, I guess so. Why are you asking?”
“A certain Ravenclaw girl just asked me about you,” Jeno divulges. “She asked me about you, Jaemin. You were far from any topic of conversation and she was the one to bring you up first.”
Jaemin freezes at the revelation. He spent the whole summer trying to forget about you, accepting that you were happy with Shotaro and perhaps Donghyuck was right, he was starting to look pathetic chasing after you. Hyojung’s family came to visit one day in August and after seeing how heartbroken he was, she suggested they begin a relationship to try and get him to move on. He agreed, mainly because his parents always loved Hyojung and he needed to get his mind off of you.
As twisted as it sounds though, Hyojung could never compare to you.
He doesn’t understand why you’ve enraptured him like this, it was just supposed to be a silly crush. He never expected to see flickers of you when he would kiss his girlfriend or think of your laugh when he’s holding someone else’s hand.
He shakes his head from the thought.
“Jeno, I can’t. You know I spent so much time getting over her.”
His friend rolls his eyes. “And how did that work out? You still look like a love struck puppy whenever she walks by and Hyojung is still convinced she can get you to love her. Wake up, dude.”
Jaemin presses the palm of his hands to his eyes, desperately trying to erase the fantasies floating through his head.
“What am I supposed to do?”
“I thought I already spelled it out for you. Free Hyojung from her misery and get your girl.”
When Jaemin approaches Hyojung the next day, his heart sinks in his chest as he registers the devastated look on her face.
“What? What did I do wrong?”
“Nothing,” he assures her. “I just don’t think this is working out. I haven’t been feeling any sparks.”
Her eyes well with tears and Jaemin starts to feel guilty.
“Is this about her? Are you seriously still not over her? We’ve been together for nearly five months, Jaemin!” Her sadness quickly shifts to unadulterated rage, glaring at him and hoping he’ll sink into the ground. “How could you lead me on this whole time?”
“I wasn’t trying to, Hyojung, I swear,” he promises, but they’re clearly empty to the girl in front of him.
“Go fuck yourself, Na Jaemin.”
You find Hyojung crying in the Ravenclaw common room that day. You pause when you see her crumbling on the couch with her best friend, Soeun, comforting her. They scowl when you come into their view.
“There she is, the homewrecker herself,” Soeun sneers at you.
You have no idea why the two girls are suddenly bashing on you. You hold your arms closer to your chest defensively.
“W-What?”
Hyojung stands and approaches you until she’s inches from your face.
“I don’t know why he finds you so special. You’ve never once given him the time of day yet he’ll bend over backwards to have you,” she hisses, expecting the words to sting for you.
You blink. “Who are you talking about?”
She laughs and it’s one of those hollow, maniacal laughs that sends shivers down your spine.
Soeun joins in, crossing her arms over her chest and staring at you condescendingly. “We’re not falling for your little innocent schoolgirl act. You know Jaemin and Hyojung’s parents were already planning their wedding, right? How sick of you to insert yourself into a relationship and break it apart.”
The two girls continue to berate and belittle you until the whole of Ravenclaw is convinced you’re a nasty homewrecker. You leave the common room in tears, finding solace in one of the nearby alcoves.
That’s how Jaemin finds you — sobbing into your hands and feeling the most low you’ve ever felt in your entire Hogwarts stay.
“Hey, what’s wrong?”
He tries to pry your hands away from your eyes to talk to you, but you pull away from him like you’ve just been burned.
“Get away from me!” You demand, turning away from him and sniffling softly to yourself.
“I’m sorry,” he says, voice filled with distress. “I didn’t mean to upset you. I just want to know why you’re crying, and if I can help at all.”
You spin back around to face him. Jaemin’s heart cracks at the sight of you looking so defeated.
“Why would you break up with Hyojung because of me?” You question in a small voice, trying to stop your tears.
He stutters. “I-I didn’t break up with her because of that. The relationship never felt right.”
“Well, that’s not what she’s saying. I don’t understand why you’re so intent on ruining my life, Nana.”
“What? I would never ruin your life!”
“But you have!” You cry, not caring how unattractive you are at this moment. “You give me all this attention that I never asked for as soon as I get to Hogwarts, and suddenly everyone is referring to me as the girl who rejected Na Jaemin. Then I get a boyfriend and you’re lurking around every corner, praying for me to break up with him. And then you get a girlfriend, crush her heart, and now she’s accusing me of being a homewrecker!”
Realization washes over his features and he takes a step back from you.
“I’m sorry. You’re right, this is all my fault. I’ll clear up whatever Hyojung started and I’ll leave you alone. I’m sorry.”
You watch him disappear around the corner, throwing you one last sorrowful glance.
After you relay the day’s events while crying in Doyeon and Jimin’s arms, you wonder if you would ever speak to Jaemin again.
You’re in your sixth year when you haven’t spoken to Na Jaemin since the start of the term.
Hyojung approaches you when you return from the summer break, guilt-ridden by her behavior.
“I’m so sorry for saying all of those things about you. It was really immature of me to start those rumors, especially knowing that it was Jaemin’s fault, not yours. I was just angry and looking for someone to blame. I hope you can forgive me.”
You smile shyly and nod. “Thank you for apologizing. I’m sorry again for what you had to go through.”
She shakes her head. “You don’t have to say that to me. I’m going to clear up all those nasty things people are saying about the situation so please, let’s just try to move past it.”
The first few months of the term pass by quickly, with all of the rumors about you being squashed by both Hyojung and Jaemin. Soon enough, people are finding new gossip to discuss and your incident fades into the background.
You try to accept that you’ll never speak to Jaemin again. He’s completely turned into a ghost of the person you once knew. He no longer smiles whenever people call his name in the hallway or jokes around with Jeno and Donghyuck in the Great Hall.
He becomes a true, stereotypical Slytherin — emotionless and disinterested.
It concerns you, honestly. However, your friends have ruled it to be none of your business.
“But he’s just so lifeless! I just want to make sure he’s doing okay.”
Doyeon waves a finger at you like a mother scolding her disobedient toddler. “He should be the furthest thing from your mind. You need to be focused more on your studies and less on boys.”
You really start to feel like a rebellious teenager when Jimin places her hands on your shoulders and pushes you down to sit on the edge of her bed.
“One day, you’re going to grow up and realize we are just trying to do what’s best for you,” she clicks her tongue.
You frown. “It wasn’t even a year ago when you two were encouraging me to come out of my shell and date Jaemin!”
“Yes, and that was before he made you cry and got the whole school to believe you were trying to break relationships left and right,” Doyeon says, arms flailing about. “We don’t trust him like we used to.”
“Turns out he really was just a man,” Jimin sighs, shaking her head.
Despite their disapproval, you search for Jaemin that night to try and open a civil conversation with him. You want him to know that you don’t blame him for what occurred the previous year and it would be best for you both to try and move on.
You’re about to turn the corner to the Slytherin dorms when you hear a sharp gasp.
You shield yourself behind a pillar, eyes peeking out to identify the cause of the sound. You nearly choke when you see Jaemin has Lee Seojeong pressed up against the wall, his fingers hidden underneath her skirt.
Jaemin hisses lowly. “Keep quiet. You said you would.”
“I’m sorry,” she whimpers in apology. Her sorrows soon turn into cries of lust, gripping Jaemin’s shoulder tightly.
You’re frozen in your spot, unsure of what to do. Your heart is thumping wildly in your ears and you’re ashamed to admit the arousal pooling at the bottom of your stomach.
You can see Seojeong is finding it harder and harder to muffle her cries and just before she reaches her high, Jaemin’s eyes suddenly flicker over to zero in on you.
Surprise fills his features as much as it does yours, and you both ignore that Seojeong has already tipped over the edge. Jaemin withdraws his fingers from her, still staring intensely at you.
Mortified by getting caught, you quickly turn and run back to Doyeon and Jimin’s room, praying the world will swallow you whole.
Much to your chagrin, the world is not on your side.
The next day, your Charms professor announces a class project, sharing that he’s already paired up the class. And, of course, you find yourself with the Slytherin boy you’re trying your best to avoid. You’re incredibly embarrassed when Jaemin approaches your desk.
“Um,” you say bashfully, trying your best to not look at him. The burn of his stare from the previous night is still ingrained in the back of your mind. “I think we should divide the work evenly. I can start researching the history while you can look into the process of casting the charm.”
Jaemin, on the other hand, is enjoying watching you squirm. Ever since last year’s incident, he’s built up a few walls to shield himself from the lingering stories in the Hogwarts castle. He blames himself for causing you so much heartbreak and promised at the start of sixth year that he wouldn’t let people in as easily as he used to. He really only talks to Jeno and Donghyuck now, ignoring the rest of his classmates who are probably only using him as fodder to feed the lurking gossip.
As for Seojeong, she’s one of the many girls he’s been hooking up with to take his mind off of you. He accidentally slipped up a few months ago when he said your name in the midst of his release with another girl, encouraging even more people to whisper about you and him. Luckily, he shut it down before word ever got to you. He’s been a lot more careful with his restraint since then.
He never expected to meet your gaze while he was fingering Seojeong outside of the Slytherin dorms.
And he won’t lie if someone asked him if he has fantasized about your curious eyes watching him pleasure someone else before.
“That sounds fair.”
You nod at his short response, still refusing to meet his stare. You quickly gather your books in your arms.
“I-I’ll meet you at the end of the week to discuss what I find then.”
You don’t tell Doyeon or Jimin what happened that night. They question you when you return to their dorm a little frazzled and panicked, but you say that you simply saw a bug in the hallway that creeped you out.
They buy your excuse then, but grow increasingly more suspicious when you continue to act on edge for the rest of the week.
“Alright, what in Merlin is going on with you? You heard a chair squeak and I swear you jumped out of your skin,” Doyeon says, eyes narrowed at you.
Jimin leans forward on the library table to get a closer look at your flushed expression.
“N-Nothing!” You stutter, fingers rolling through the fabric of your skirt nervously. “I’m just- um, I’m just-“
They watch you flounder, eyebrows raised as you struggle to find the right words.
“Could I ask you both a question? And you have to promise that you won’t ask me any follow-up questions in return.”
Doyeon and Jimin exchange a glance before nodding hesitantly.
“Go ahead.”
You take a deep breath. “Have you two ever, you know, been with someone? Like on an intimate level?”
A moment of silence passes before questions erupt from the two.
“Is someone trying to pressure you into having sex?”
“Oh Merlin, do we have to go and kill someone? Who’s trying to put their hands on you?”
You swiftly shush them, turning your head to check if anyone in the library is eavesdropping in on you.
“You promised,” you whine.
They sigh, clearly stressed from the idea of you being pressured into anything.
Jimin speaks first. “Yes, I have. It was awkward and not that fun, if I’m being honest.”
Doyeon hums in agreement. “Definitely more pleasurable for the guy than the girl most of the time.”
“Okay,” you drawl, trying to figure out how to ask them what you’re really wondering. “So it was a one time thing? You weren’t in a relationship with them?”
They nod. You huff, pondering over the idea. You would never admit your jealousy, but the image of Jaemin pleasuring Seojeong chilled you to your core. Your mind has been swirling with frenzied thoughts all week — were they dating now? When did Jaemin suddenly start fingering girls in public? Did this mean he really wanted nothing to do with you anymore? And lastly, how did you fall so far behind your classmates sexually?
A tap on your shoulder takes you out of your trance. Doyeon and Jimin’s expressions have suddenly turned stern, lips pursed at whoever has approached your table.
“Hey, you ready to discuss our project?”
Your eyes flit up to catch the boy that has been haunting your dreams. Jaemin’s fingers brush through his hair casually, and you speculate if he knows how attractive he looks.
“Yeah, I’m ready,” you reply nervously, taking your notebook and standing to walk with him.
Doyeon says your name with fervor before you can leave. “Maybe one of us should go with you. Or you can talk about your project here.”
You don’t miss her implication and the fact that the former topic of conversation has them theorizing that Jaemin is the one bringing your sexual awakening to light.
“I think we’ll be fine,” Jaemin answers for you, ignoring their glares and escorting you to another table towards the back of the library.
You avoid his gaze as much as possible when you sit down, opening your notebook and immediately diving into the details of the Bubble-Head Charm.
“The charm can be dated back for centuries, and many wizards believe it was created to help them swim underwater-“
“Did you enjoy the show?”
His sudden question brings you out of your notes, and for the first time in a week, you take a look at him.
He’s studying you fiercely, eyes piercing into the depths of your soul.
“What show?” You ask in confusion, not understanding how this could possibly be related to your project.
“I don’t usually like an audience when I’m trying to help someone on the brink of their climax,” he says unabashedly. Your breath catches in your throat. “I find that I don’t mind it when it’s you though.”
“I think we should focus on the project, Nana,” you whisper, not realizing how easily the nickname has slipped from your lips.
“You’re still going to call me that?” He asks, eyes unexpectedly clouded with fury. “Still going to act like the innocent girl when you played the little voyeur for me?”
“Jaemin,” you say quietly, your body flaring with an equal weight of lust and embarrassment. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to intrude on you and Seojeong.”
He scoffs. “You think I care about her? I bet you pictured yourself in her place, hm? Begging for me to help you cum, looking so desperate for me in a public space,” he laughs, keeping his voice low for only you to hear his crude words. He drinks in your appalled expression. “What? Do you miss when I was the nice boy for you, helping you grab a book when you couldn’t reach it on your own? Chasing after you with my tail tucked between my legs?”
He moves his chair until he’s seated right beside you, hand resting on the inside of your thigh. You jolt at the contact, praying he doesn’t discover your wetness soaking through your panties.
“Or do you like it better when I’m straightforward like this? Telling you exactly how I want you?”
His face is inches from yours, and you can feel his breath hitting your cheek. If you move just a little closer, you could probably kiss him-
Another hand suddenly grabs your elbow, pulling you away from Jaemin’s hold.
“Get away from her!” Jimin growls while Doyeon starts to collect your things, shoving it in your bag hurriedly.
“Don’t even think about touching her again.”
Your friends whisk you away from the table, leaving Jaemin with a raging hard-on and eyes full of determination.
You’re in your seventh year when you desperately want Na Jaemin to kiss you.
The tables have turned quite exceptionally. Contrary to previous years, you find yourself pursuing the Slytherin boy.
After last year’s encounter in the library, you convinced Doyeon and Jimin that Jaemin’s advances were wanted by you. You had to sit them down and explain to them that yes, your questions about sex were Jaemin-related and no, they did not have to act like your moms all the time. They still held their reservations when it came to Jaemin and you, and you couldn’t blame them. Your history together was confusing to say the least, but now you could actually say you were starting to recognize the feelings you had for him.
The only problem was that Jaemin seemed to lose all interest in you.
Jimin relayed to you the information about Jaemin ceasing all communication with the girls he normally hooked up with, which you took as a good sign, but was disappointed when he made no advances to contact you again.
You failed your Charms project with him because you two couldn’t find the courage to approach one another to resume the study. Instead, you threw heart eye glances to him for the rest of the term, which he easily ignored.
You shyly approach Jeno and Donghyuck on the first day of seventh year.
“I’m sorry, what? Did you just say that you like Jaemin?”
Donghyuck is incredulous, rubbing his eyes and hitting his ears to make sure he’s seeing and hearing you correctly.
Beside him, Jeno simply smirks in understanding. “I was wondering when you’d finally admit it.”
You cower underneath their stares. “I was just going to ask if either of you know if Jaemin likes me too. I don’t think he does anymore so I want to get confirmation.”
Donghyuck laughs. “Are you kidding me? The kid moans your name in his sleep so I think it’s safe to say-“
He yelps when Jeno pinches his side, glaring at him.
“What this idiot is trying to say is that yes, Jaemin likes you. He’s only liked you since we arrived at Hogwarts and we fear he’ll only like you until he dies. I don’t know why you would think otherwise,” Jeno hums, eyebrow raised in questioning.
“Well,” you drone, twiddling your thumbs nervously. “He hasn’t talked to me at all since last year and he doesn’t treat me like he used to. He’s completely iced me out.”
Donghyuck laughs again. “Doubt that. Remember just yesterday when he accidentally said her name when he was talking to Minjeong?”
Jeno pinches his side once more and Donghyuck whines painfully in exaggeration.
“Again, what this idiot is trying to say is that maybe Jaemin is waiting for you to make the first move. He’s made his intentions pretty clear, you know, so I think the ball’s in your court.”
You ponder over Jeno’s words all week, eyes drifting to Jaemin’s figure more than you would possibly admit during classes. Doyeon and Jimin speak the Gryffindor bravery into you as you proceed towards his table in the library — the same table he cornered you at last year.
“Hi,” you squeak, fingers gripping your books to your chest for dear life.
He looks up at you, facial expression remaining neutral.
“Hi.”
“Can I- um, can I sit here?”
He nods and you take the seat beside him. Your whole body is nearly shaking from anxiety but you push through it.
“I wanted to talk to you because- well, I talked to Jeno and Donghyuck and they made me realize that it was my turn to talk to you first. I know things have been weird since the Hyojung incident and I wanted you to know I don’t blame you for that at all! I know it sounded like I was blaming you but then I realized it was just a misunderstanding and I was so overwhelmed by my emotions-“
He places a hand on your arm, stopping your rambling from continuing.
“Take a deep breath,” he says, thumb rubbing circles on your skin in comfort. “Relax. It’s just me.”
You huff and shake your head. “But that’s why I can’t relax. Because it’s you.”
His fingers move to brush the stray hairs from your face, slowly advancing downwards to caress your cheek. You recognize the slightest hint of a smirk ghosting his lips.
“Yeah? You get nervous because of me?”
You nod sheepishly. “You always make me nervous, Nana.”
His eyes darken at the nickname. “You know, you’re the only one who still calls me that.”
“Oh,” you whisper. “I’m sorry, should I stop saying it?”
Your breath hitches when his fingers trail across your bottom lip.
“You never answered my question.”
“H-Huh?”
“About whether you liked me when I was following you around like a pathetic little boy or when I’m direct with my feelings like this,” he murmurs, thumb resting on your tongue. “Suck.”
You almost moan at the instruction, wrapping your lips around the digit. Jaemin curses under his breath, drinking in your innocent eyes blinking back at him.
You pull away to respond. “I like you. I don’t care what you do — I just like you.”
“Aren’t you the fucking sweetest?” He grunts, no longer able to hold himself back as he lunges forward.
You gasp and place a hand on his chest before his lips could collide with yours.
“I-I’ve never kissed anyone before.”
He pulls back, eyebrows furrowed. “But you and Shotaro-“
“We just held hands,” you say meekly, ashamed to admit your lack of experience. “It felt too weird to kiss him.”
He suddenly stands and begins to gather his things, and your shoulders deflate. He probably doesn’t want to be with you anymore now that he knows you’re the virgin who’s never been kissed.
You’re surprised when his hand wraps around yours and he tugs you along. He pulls you out of the library and you try your best to keep up with him.
“Jaemin, where are we going?”
You seem to get your answer when you land in front of the Slytherin dorms. Jaemin quietly mutters the password to enter and you find yourself being led to a grand staircase, realizing he’s bringing you to his dorm room.
“Hey! She can’t be here!” A voice calls from the bottom of the staircase. You’re about to excuse yourself out of humiliation but Jaemin’s grip tightens on your hand.
“Go fuck yourself, Doyoung.”
“Na Jaemin!”
Once you enter Jaemin’s room, you blink at the sight of Yangyang and Donghyuck sitting on the floor, playing a game of Exploding Snap.
“Get out,” Jaemin barks.
They look up and frown, eyes moving back and forth from him to you.
“But it’s nearly midnight-“
“Get the fuck out.”
They both grumble, taking their card game and exiting the room.
“You didn’t have to kick them out,” you start to mumble, but shriek when his hand wraps around your waist, pulling your body to his.
His nose brushes against yours, and you squirm in his hold. He looks so pretty up close, and you ponder if anyone could be more perfect than him.
“Can I kiss you?”
“You still want to?”
“I’ve always wanted to, sweetheart.”
You stutter. “O-Okay.”
Your first kiss is magical. Jaemin’s lips are so soft against yours, and you melt underneath his touch. At first, the kiss is delicate and gentle, with him holding you like you could break at any second. Then, the kiss shifts into something more carnal and desperate, the weight of his body pressing closer and closer to you. His tongue begs for entrance past your lips and you easily grant it, allowing him to nearly swallow you whole.
You rub your thighs together desperately. “Nana,” you whimper.
“What’s wrong, baby?”
You have no idea how to tell him what you want, so you decide to show him instead. You grab his hand and move it until it disappears underneath your skirt, hovering dangerously close to your core.
He chuckles into your mouth. “Maybe we should take it slow. You just had your first kiss.”
“But I want more,” you whine. “I want what you gave to Seojeong.”
“Fuck,” he hisses. “You have no idea what you do to me.” His head moves downwards to press kisses along the side of your neck. “I dreamed of doing this to you nearly every night. I always wondered what pretty sounds you would make for me.”
“Wait,” you stop him and he stills, lips a few inches away from grazing your collarbone. You timidly ask, “Can I be your girlfriend?”
He smiles, raising his head to peck your lips. “You’re so perfect. You can be whatever you want, baby. I’ll buy a ring for you tomorrow if you want it.”
You giggle. “Quit teasing me.”
“It’s cute that you think I’m teasing,” he hums, voice filled with mischief. “It’s cute that you think I wouldn’t get on my knees for you and do whatever you asked.”
You swallow when he does, in fact, get on his knees for you. He pushes up your skirt so that he’s staring directly at your pretty pink panties, all cotton with a little bow in the front. You wish you had worn a sexier pair today, but you would never have guessed you’d be in this position.
You squeak when his mouth messily envelops your cunt, his tongue desperately pushing against the fabric.
You hear him grunt. “Smell so good, baby. Your pussy’s dripping for me.” His fingers hook onto the sides of your underwear, pulling it down your thighs slowly. “Do you touch yourself, sweetheart?”
You flounder. “I tried once,” you confess shakily. “I didn’t really know what I was doing.”
“Oh yeah?” He purrs, running a finger through your folds, eliciting a sharp gasp from you. “When did that happen?”
You struggle to piece a sentence together. “The n-night after I caught you and S-Seojeong. I couldn’t stop t-thinking about it.”
He clicks his tongue. “Dirty girl. You touched yourself thinking about me pleasuring someone else? You liked watching us, didn’t you?”
You whimper. “You were right — I wanted to be her so badly.”
You cry when his mouth wraps around your clit, sucking tightly. You almost fold in on yourself but Jaemin steadies you, hands gripping the back of your thighs to make sure you stay in place.
“Nana,” you beg. “That feels so good. Please don’t stop.”
However, he does withdraw himself from your cunt, evoking a mewl from you.
“No, no, please-“
He guides you towards the bed and you tilt your head in confusion when he lays down first, gesturing for you to join him.
“Come here, baby. Sit on my face.”
You blink. “W-What? That’s dangerous!”
He laughs. “Trust me, dying while eating your pussy is probably the best way to go.”
You hesitate. “Nana…”
“It’s okay, sweet girl. It’ll feel really good, I promise. And if I drown in your cunt then you can cast that Bubble-Head Charm to save me.”
“Nana!”
You decide to trust him after a brief deliberation, awkwardly maneuvering your way onto the bed and hovering over his face.
“Are you sure this is safe?”
Instead of verbally responding, he grabs a handful of your ass and plants you down until your core sits directly on his mouth. You frantically reach for the headboard to steady yourself, unable to stop the moans crawling out of your throat.
He eats you like you’re his last meal, tongue lapping at your folds and sucking on your clit. You’ve never been touched like this before — never been wanted so desperately by a man who’s willing to cut off his source of breathing just to get a taste of you. You move one hand to grip at his hair, tugging at the strands whenever a sensation grows to be too much for you.
Jaemin is locked in on a mission to get you to your orgasm. The idea of him being the first person to help you reach your climax is so incredibly arousing that he could honestly cum untouched.
You gasp when pleasure spreads across your entire body, accidentally rolling your hips to ride Jaemin’s tongue. He moans in encouragement, using his hands to guide you as you use him like a toy.
“J-Jaemin-“
He sucks your clit hard, and that sends you over. Frantic whimpers spill from your lips as you release onto his awaiting tongue. Your thighs tremble from the intensity of your orgasm, all while Jaemin laps at your gushing wetness.
The pleasure shifts to discomfort from oversensitivity and he finally allows you to draw back. You grow flustered when you pull away and see the smear of your arousal covering his face. He eagerly licks his lips and sighs in content.
Your embarrassment multiplies tenfold when you realize what you’ve done, frantically shuffling away and pulling your underwear back up your legs.
“Where are you going, baby?” He murmurs, wrapping a hand around your wrist and pulling you back to the bed. Your back meets his chest and he hums, pressing kisses to your throat.
“T-That was s-so-“
“What’s wrong, pretty girl? Are you feeling dirty now that you let a silly boy eat your little cunt?”
You squirm. “Jaemin-“
He shushes you gently. “Poor baby. You want a little more? I know your pussy’s aching for it.”
Your eyes trail downwards to the bulge in his slacks, looking like he’s about to burst through the seams.
“Will it hurt?” You ask softly, feeling slightly intimidated.
“A little bit, but I’ll help you through it.”
You nod. “O-Okay.”
He starts to move you so that you’re lying down on the bed, but you wrap a hand around his to stop him.
“Can we stay like this? I like it when you hold me this way.”
His arm snakes around your middle and he tugs you closer. “Of course, baby. You’re going to have to be patient, okay? Just take a deep breath and trust me.”
You whine when his fingers dance around the inside of your thighs.
“What are you doing?”
“Have to stretch you first or else it’s going to hurt more, okay?”
You tentatively nod and he takes your panties off for good, flinging them across the room. You’re still sensitive from your first orgasm so you nearly blubber when he pushes a finger inside of your dripping hole. The sensation feels both foreign and otherworldly, almost like an itch you’ve been dying to scratch. You cry when he curls his finger, sending shockwaves up your spine.
He tilts your head to the side so he can plant another kiss to your lips. He distracts you from a second finger joining the first as he slowly thrusts both up into you.
“Doing perfect, sweetheart,” he sighs into your mouth. “So so perfect for me. Going to add one more, alright?”
“Okay, Nana.”
He whispers more praises in your ear while you somehow find a way to fit three of his fingers inside your tight pussy. You roll your hips to feel more of him, completely stuffed full.
“That’s a good girl. Ride my fingers, baby.”
Your body reacts before your mind does, lewdly dripping down his hand as you chase another impending orgasm. Your mind is clouded by a haze of lust, feeling like an animal in heat with the way you eagerly push onto his digits.
“I think I’m gonna-“
“I know, baby. Go ahead, I’m right here,” he coaxes.
All it takes is a few more twists of your hips and his thumb flicking over your abused clit for you to cum. You shudder, cunt pulsing around him as you come down from your high. You whimper when he withdraws his fingers and brings them to his mouth, licking up remnants of your wetness.
“How did that feel?”
You squeak. “It felt good.”
He smiles and kisses you once more. “Pretty girl. Want to take my cock now?”
You nod shyly, allowing him to unzip his pants and unsheath his length. Your eyes widen slightly at the size of him, his cock angrily red and tip leaking.
“That looks like it hurts,” you comment on his swelling shaft as he adjusts your bodies so that your cunt is hovering over him.
“It does, sweetheart. And you’re the only one who can make it better. Now take a deep breath for me.” You obey his command, inhaling and exhaling slowly to prepare yourself. He turns your head again to look at him. “You don’t have to say it back, but I love you, okay? Loved you since our first year here. Want to make this feel good for you.”
Your eyes suddenly well with tears. “I love you too, Nana. And I trust you, more than anyone else.”
His grin is blinding and his lips smack against yours, the tip of his cock slowly pushing into your waiting cunt. You painfully whine and he holds you tighter, reminding you to relax and breathe. He drives you lower and lower until you’re nearly halfway down his cock, and you gasp loudly. His thumb returns to your clit, circling the bud gently to help you along.
“Doing okay, sweetheart?”
You shake your head. “Y-Yeah, keep going, Nana.”
He sings praises in your ear until he’s bottomed out and you were definitely wrong before — this is what it feels like to be completely stuffed full. He lets you adjust to his size until your tiny cries of discomfort shift into whimpers of pleasure.
“Going to start moving now. Tell me if it’s too much, baby.”
He gives an experimental thrust that has you moaning.
“Good, good,” you breathe, encouraging him to keep going.
He starts pushing into you gradually, groaning at the feeling of your warm walls wrapped tightly around his cock.
“I’m not going to last, baby.”
You squeal when his thrusts increase speed, his thumb pressing harder against your clit.
“Ungh, ungh, ungh-“
Vulgar sounds echo in the tiny dorm room with your wetness leaking down Jaemin’s cock and his skin slapping against yours forcefully. You feel like you could easily come again, but your mind screams at you that something’s missing.
“Nana?”
He’s drilling into you now, trying his best to move you up and down his cock at a rapid pace.
“Yeah, baby- fuck,” he hisses, not knowing if you realize how your pussy constantly clenches around him. “What is it?”
“Can you kiss me?”
He swears he’s been blessed by Merlin himself to have a girl as sweet as you. He grants your wish, enveloping his lips with yours and swirling his tongue inside your mouth sloppily.
The simple gesture is enough to serve as the snap to your third orgasm. He moans when he feels your cunt spasm, and he finally releases his warm seed deep into your womb.
You both try to catch your breath as you come down from your high. He kisses you again, and it’s a messy mix of saliva and tongues, but you wouldn’t have it any other way.
“I really liked that,” you confess, and he laughs.
“Good, because we’re going to be doing it a lot from now on. I’m not wasting any more time with you.”
You’re about to graduate from Hogwarts when Doyeon and Jimin can’t find you.
You’re meant to be boarding the enchanted boats soon — a ritual that all seventh years take during the end of their Hogwarts stay. All three of you promised to take a boat together, but your two friends can’t seem to find you anywhere.
“Do you think she got kidnapped?”
“Why do you always jump to kidnapping?” Jimin sighs exasperatedly. “I bet you Jaemin just couldn’t take his paws off of her.”
And they would be very correct as Na Jaemin is currently pounding you in the Charms classroom, fingers crumpling your skirt as he watches his cock disappear into your pussy.
“W-We’re gonna m-miss the boats,” you moan, clutching your desk and whining pathetically.
“Don’t give a fuck. You’re the one who wouldn’t let me get my share of this pussy last night.”
“I was hanging out with Doyeon and Jimin! It was our last night in the castle together.”
“Yeah, just like it’s my last time getting to fuck you in this classroom.”
He thrusts into the particular spot that has you keening, back arched as you moan loudly. Usually, your boyfriend would try to keep you quiet, but considering today’s your last day of schooling, he doesn’t see the point.
What could they do, expel you? You already finished all of your exams.
A screech erupts in the doorway and he hears Jimin’s infuriated voice.
“I told you! Jaemin, give the girl a break!”
You cry as you reach your climax, squirting all over Jaemin’s cock and scattering your wetness across the floor. He groans and buries himself deep inside of you, spurting ropes of his cum until his cock begs him for some rest.
“They say when you raise kids that you should expect the day they disappoint you. I didn’t know that this is what they meant,” Doyeon sighs.
You quickly fumble to pull on your skirt and Jaemin tucks himself back into his slacks.
“It smells awful in here! How long have you two been going at it?” Jimin hisses, pinching the bridge of her nose.
“A couple of hours,” he replies with a smirk, wincing when you hit his chest as a warning.
You shakily stand and try to make yourself look presentable. “I’ll be right there!” You call out to your friends, ignoring the perturbed look on their faces. You would normally be ashamed, but that feeling disappeared months ago when they constantly caught you and Jaemin fucking in almost every inch of the castle.
Before you can leave, he wraps an arm around your waist and pulls you in for another kiss.
“I’ll see you on the train, baby?”
“You can’t fuck her on the train!”
You both breeze past Jimin’s comment.
“I’ll see you there. Love you.”
“Love you. And hey, I think you’re pretty.”
You giggle and press your lips to his again.
Doyeon and Jimin take you away before the kiss can progress into another round of fucking.
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nothorses · 9 months
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"the public education system is intently evil and all teachers are abusive because it was the worst experience ever for me personally"
guys, look, I'm legitimately sorry that happened to you. that's fucked up. it shouldn't have happened, and it shouldn't be allowed to happen again to you or anyone else. I'm sorry.
public school was hard for me too, at times, and I'm still suffering the consequences for the harsh grading, the arbitrary deadlines, the hours of completely useless-to-me homework. I could name a few teachers who have been pretty fucking terrible. the fact that nobody considered getting me evaluated for ADHD has had an impact on my self image and academic success that I can't erase.
and also.
I grew up in an area where education, in particular, is incredibly progressive-leaning. educators are working really hard to create and try out education philosophies and practices that prioritize kids and their learning, rather than teachers and what they think kids should learn.
My sex ed was comprehensive, and came entirely from school. My gay sixth grade teacher taught me about HIV/AIDs in a useful, accurate way. In high school, I learned about the way orgasms work & I was prepared not to feel shame for normal stuff.
I learned that Communism was not what the USSR actually practiced, and what it really means. I learned about atrocities and, specifically, the genocide of indigenous people committed in/by the US. I learned about the military industrial complex, the school-to-prison pipeline, and I learned about manifestations of racism specific to my local area. I learned about Stonewall, and the intersection of the civil rights movement with gay rights and disability justice.
My creative writing teacher taught us about LSD, and the real reasons we shouldn't do it, after a hilariously ineffective assembly run by some local cops. He spoke gently, carefully, and emphatically about his friends and his own experiences. Later in the semester, he read us a story he wrote about two gay men finding each other in a deeply homophobic environment.
My sci-fi teacher made me feel safe & seen as a kid with "weird" interests. My US History teacher helped me research and put together a 10-page paper on the modern relevance and mission of Feminism. My government teacher made me feel appreciated for the work I put into the class, and the thought I put into what I said in it, even though he disagreed with a lot of it. My sixth grade teacher bought me books to read with his personal money, whichever ones I asked for. My third grade teacher made me feel safe. My science teacher in middle school made me excited for and passionate about science, and saw and nurtured the effort I put into her class.
A lot of stuff sucks, absolutely. But I am seeing new teaching methods being tried out all the time, and I am watching teachers get really excited when I teach their students about the roots of modern graffiti in US black history & to question property laws, and just...
There's hope. there are so many people doing so much work to make things better. so many people agree with you on what education should be, and are trying so fucking hard to put that into action, and so many public schools- not just teachers, but whole schools and even districts- are really doing that work. so much is getting better.
I had more to say, about necessary childcare and trusted adults and outside contacts and time away from abusive family. But like. Please just sit down and listen to more people on this, and please talk to educators and education professionals about what's really going on in this big huge world of philosophy, science, and practice.
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ew-selfish-art · 10 months
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Dp x Dc AU: Damian and Ellie become friends, and for all his research into her ‘Guardian’ older siblings, he can’t seem to understand why they’re asking after his own homelife. 
Ellie was an annoyance to him from the moment they met, and this unfortunately meant that her and Jon got along like a house on fire. She’d transferred to Gotham Academy in the middle of the year and clearly had no idea what a private school was like politically- She walked right up to him and declared them friends. He’d retorted something about preferring to be enemies, she immediately had a shark like grin and after school they had their first spat- which Jon immediately flew into town for upon hearing Damian’s typically fight related biometrics (which, yes, he always listened for). 
Immediately upon Jon pulling them apart, Ellie asked again if they could be friends and Damian accepted. Jon is bewildered but hey! New Pal! And she can throw down! How Neat! (plus she didn’t ask how Jon appeared so quickly-he wasn’t caught flying because of their fight- success! Identity kept secret!) 
Ellie eventually invites them over to her place since she lives closest to the school, and the apartment is meager if not incredibly well kept. Jazz is the one home at this time, makes them all some apple slices and ensures that they did their homework. Jon declares that Lois would love her. Jazz asks if Damian is safe at home, and she has a weird green color to her eyes for just a second when she asks, but Damian assures her that the Wayne family is merely a rambunctious one with too many children. 
The next time they come by her older brother Danny is the one who is home, and he looks absolutely exhausted as he mixes instant coffee granules into his energy drink. Damian learns that he’s an engineer at WE and working night shifts- apparently Danny was home the last time they visited but was asleep. Danny also kind of looks at Damian funny for a second, and asks if he’s safe at home, Ellie protests that they can’t keep asking him and Damian defends his family once more. 
Damian goes home after one of their visits and at the family dinner table if there is anything about him that reads as ‘abused child’ since he keeps getting this treatment by the Nightengale siblings. Tim doesn’t add anything towards Damian’s predicament but does explain that Danny Nightengale is off limits from the rest of the family- He’s not to be adopted and he’s not to be researched, this dude is his main engineer on a Bat project and Tim’s personal project to crack. 
Jason, who happened to attend because it was Alfred’s Eggplant Parmesan night, voices that his new therapist is also a Nightengale. She’s great (the whole family has noticed) but he’s also contemplating dropping her as a therapist for... reasons. (The whole family understands that he’s in love with her and theres a betting pool around it.) 
Bringing the conversation back to the start, Bruce suggests that Damian invite them over for dinner so that they can see he has a stable homelife. Tim and Jason protest but it gets ignored. Damian asks Ellie at school and she happily accepts with “Great! I can’t wait to haunt your house!” 
The Nightengales arrive, and fit right in. The evening goes off without out any major issues or bumps in the road- although the entire family + Danny are all keen on Jason pursuing Jazz (who keeps refusing to comment despite blushing every other word he says to her). Ellie is adored by the whole family, though Damian does his best to threaten them away. Danny is incredibly loose lipped about the project he’s working on to Tim’s horror but Danny just kind of winks and says “this feels like a room of people that can keep a secret.” (Danny doesn’t know they’re bats, he just assumes this cause they’re all family and so nice.)
Eventually at the end of the night Bruce asks why they keep asking after Damian’s homelife and safety- what makes them so concerned? Danny just spills the beans: 
“I’ve met a lot of undead in my day, but Damian was brought back to life in a way I’m still trying to understand. Like Jason? Easy peasy, got dipped in the green stuff. Damian? So Strange. Plus like the kid is like 15, it took me until 14 to die the first time but I had a portal to another dimension under my house and he lives in a mansion.” 
Chaos. 
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