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gretagerwigsmuse · 6 months

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rocketman: part i - it's just my job five days a week

Summary: in which lieutenant commander bradshaw is on a three month special detachment in the pacific and the holidays have never felt lonelier for either of you. it's just three months, it'll be fine, right?

OR you and bradley write each other 159 emails

Pairing: Rooster x Fem!Reader 11.8k

Warnings: 18+, explicit language, suggestive dialogue, bradley needs to remember this is a government email server...(okay yes, i am perfectly aware that our esteemed lieutenant commander would probably get kicked out of the navy for some of these emails…that being said, i also don’t particularly care! we’re playing fast and loose with the time stamps too because i may be smart, but math has never been a strong suit of mine!) enjoy the companion playlist! rest of the series can be found here!

12/17 @ 6:19am

I miss you already and I haven’t even left the parking lot. I’m still in my car typing this after having stayed for probably far too long watching your C-40 take off (like people were staring at me I was there so long)(and, yes, I looked up the name of the plane). Pete asked me if I wanted to get breakfast with him, but I said no. Felt too lost. Plus, I need to get ready for work. We’re going to get dinner on Wednesday before I head up to Berkeley Thursday morning, though!

Hope you have a safe transport and settle onboard quickly. I left you something in your duffle bag (yes, it’s safe to open around other people…head out of the gutter, Bradshaw).

Love you and stay safe, x

12/18 @ 5:46pm

Just dropped off the gifts at the Junior League for Caroline’s adopt a child thing. She was completely in her element (they gave her a clipboard and a bullhorn!), though she did say we went wayyy too over the top. But little Carter asked for all that stuff! We couldn’t just not get it all for him? She also appreciated your wrapping skills, very impressed with the bows and tight corners. I met a couple of her friends there, which was nice and they invited me to stay for drinks (the prosecco was flowing…), but I wanted to head home.

I miss you so much already, it feels weird not going over to your place after work and making dinner and prepping lunch together - and it’s only been two days. I know you’re on a comms blackout for the next couple days, so I’m just gonna keep sending these so you’ll have a bunch to read all at once.

All my love, x

12/19 @ 11:48am

My brother and Lauren decided to come out here for Christmas after all! My dad was so excited when he called me, but I think Mary’s a little less enthused. Feels like shit knowing we were the backup option for them. Apparently, Lauren’s mom is sick and the whole house is in disarray (not hard in that family…) so my dad is paying for them to fly in from New York tomorrow. I think it’ll be nice, we’ll almost have a full set (baring you, of course, my darling rocketman), so the house won’t be as lonely. Do you think we’ll get to talk on Christmas or Christmas Eve? You should be getting a package soon (‘twas preemptively sent!) and are under strict orders not to open it until Christmas Eve, buddy!

Going to dinner with Pete tonight, I’ll let you know how it goes. Amelia’s coming with us, but I don’t know about Penny? I hope they like the gifts we got them. I’m going to stop by your place, do a once over, and make sure the tree is ready for Pete to take, etc. before I leave on Thursday.

Love you and talk soon! x

12/20 @ 7:03am

House looked good! In my seat on the plane. If my morals were shakier, I would 1000% have taken Max up on his offer to fly me up to Berkeley. But alas! Climate change is real and private jets account for 20x as many carbon emissions as commercial planes, so I am up at the ass-crack of dawn for this 7:15am flight. I’ll message you when I land, love you!

12/20 @ 9:04am

Just landed - easy flight. Now to find my dad in arrivals…

Love you, talk when you get the chance! x

12/23 @ 4:45am

Hey sweetheart! Back online and all settled in. I’m bunking with Payback and we actually have a pretty decent layout. He graciously offered to give me the bottom bunk, due to my ‘geriatric status.’ Honestly, I’m just glad I don’t have to sleep in the bunk room with the ensigns and rest of the crew. I forgot how noisy it is being on an aircraft carrier, which makes Payback’s snoring surprisingly pleasant. I’m glad he and Bob are with me. The rest of this squadron’s from Lemoore and Bob knows some of them. It’s interesting seeing him and Payback fly together, but they mesh really well.

Glad Mav is there to keep an eye on you.

Okay, I had way too much fun picking out all those presents, so I really hope Carter loves them too. And please tell me you have a picture of Caroline yelling into the bullhorn? I can truly think of nothing scarier than Caroline Calloway ordering the young women of San Diego county around like Santa’s chief elf. And speaking of gifts, I loved my pictures. The one from the Christmas party is my favorite, did Fanboy take it? I saw him running around with his Pentax. When the hell did you have time to print it? I’ve got it hanging up in my bunk so I can see it every night.

I still don’t understand why you don’t fly into Oakland instead of SFO? Like I get it, you’re not a Spirit or SW girl, but kid….it’s an hour and forty minute flight? Live a little. And I think it’ll be nice having your brother and Lauren around for Christmas. How many people do you think it’ll be? I always loved seeing Christmas Eves with large families in movies and stuff, all the chaos and whatnot? But it’s just gonna be you five Christmas Day? I’ve heard rumblings that I might be first in line for a Facetime on Christmas Eve, so save some time for me too, kid. I’ll let you know for sure in a couple days.

Okay, think we’re all caught up now. Talk soon and love you so much,

Your Bradley

12/23 @ 9:08am

Bubs! I read your email four times since I woke up, I can’t stop smiling. I’m glad you’re all settled in - Payback’s snoring and ageism aside haha. How’s the food? Do you want earplugs? A sleep mask? Are earplugs allowed for sleeping? What if you need to get up right away and you can’t hear? I could send you a white noise machine? Or is there a fear of hacking with that? I should’ve done more research on this before you left. Tell me if you need anything, I’ll send it out express! Oh, I’m just so happy to hear from you. Keep me posted!

Lots of love, x

12/23 @ 8:53pm

You and me, hot date tomorrow night at 11:45pst - don’t be late. (And look cute.)

Your Bradley

12/23 @ 8:55pm

I’ll be there 😉 Love you, x

12/25 @ 9:56am

Bradley Bradshaw you absolute sneak! How on Earth did you pull a Christmas miracle off!?! Mary said she had no clue, so I’m extremely impressed you got my dad to keep that secret!? I was totally not expecting another present from you? The cooking lessons and apron were more than enough - to say nothing about moving in together!?! I love the bracelet so much, you have no idea. I started crying when I opened it! Mary took a video, which I’m sure she’ll send you. God, Bradley? You didn’t have to do that! It’s perfect, it’s like we’re locked together. I’m gonna wear it everyday. Please email me later if you get the chance!

(Also, Lauren looked really jealous 😉 my brother was sweating)

Love you and Merry Christmas Rocketman! x

12/25 @ 11:38am

Ummm, not sure what you’re talking about, kid? That sounds like something Santa would do? Probably heard about how good you’ve been this year? x

12/25 @ 11:40am

Thank you, I love it so much and wish I could give you the biggest hug and kiss right now. I’ll have an extra slice of babka for you tonight, talk soon and Merry Christmas, Bradley! Love you x

12/27 @ 4:49am

I miss sleeping next to you. Whenever I can’t sleep, I think about the way you looked at me in the living room after our Christmas party. You looked so happy and I hate that I have to leave you for all our firsts. First Christmas, first New Year’s, first Valentine’s Day. And god, sweetheart, you’re so fucking gorgeous it makes me want to lose my mind sometimes. Always thinking about you, Bradley

12/27 @ 8:38am

I miss sleeping next to you, too (especially since your body is like a furnace and you hold me close when I get cold). And I know you being away during the holidays is hard, but look at it this way - we’ll just have our firsts next year. Next year will be our first Christmas, first New Year’s, first Valentine’s Day together, not an ocean apart. We have all the time in the world, rocketman. Love you today and every day x

12/29 @ 6:02pm

There’s already so many things I’m dying to tell you and stories about the squadron we’re teaming up with, but the Navy will have my ass if I give away too many details so I’m just going to leave it at this: are we sure Max doesn’t have a twin on another continent? Take that as you will. What’re your plans for New Year’s? Your Bradley

12/30 @ 9:20am

Sorry for the delayed response! A minor issue with my brother and my dad that I won’t bore you with had the whole house in a tizzy. Thankfully, he and Lauren are gone even though my dad still won’t tell me what the issue was? Anyway! God, I wish I could hear more about Max’s twin? I am honestly kind of scared about knowing there’s a Max doppelgänger in the Navy (jokes!). For New Year’s, I’m going to this party with Mary and dad in the city, it’s at this fancy venue and I have a cute black dress! It’s very different for me and I wish you were here to see it! I’ll have to wear it again. Message me when it’s the New Year your time! Love you! x

01/01 @ 12:09am

Happy New Year, sweetheart! They had a little party for the officers - we even got cake and Bob snuck me and Payback seconds somehow. It’s always the quiet ones you gotta look out for. You absolutely need to send me pictures of you in that dress, I can’t wait to see it on you in person someday. Hope you have a great time with your dad and Mary, give them my best. Love you and again Happy New Year!

Your Bradley

01/01 @ 12:01am

Happy New Year, Bradley!!! You got cake!! You broke some rules! I approve! Milk them for all the cake they’re worth! I’ll send some pics of the three of us and one just for you big boy 😉 Talk soon and love you so so much! x

01/01 @ 10:59am

Had a late start! Here are the pics from last night! Try and sneak some more cake xx

[mary_and_dad_being_annoying.jpg]

[me.jpg]

01/02 @ 6:12am

You know you labeled the pictures wrong…luckily no one was behind me…

01/02 @ 9:04am

Who? Me? I would NEVER! (Just trying to keep you on your toes.) Hope the flying is going well and you’re staying safe, B! Love you!

01/03 @ 8:00pm

Yeah, it’s going well. It’s so different flying on the open ocean after so long? Last time was in September when I went to Hong Kong. The desert is cool, don’t get me wrong, but seeing the clouds and the water together is unreal. The pink and purple clouds remind me of you (sorry, that was lame). You still gotta let me take you up, kid. I’ve heard Mav is trying to convince you, but you gotta let me be the one. Can’t trust just anyone with my girl. Love B

01/04 @ 10:13am

Bradley…he’s practically your father, I’m pretty sure you can trust him to take me up in a plane, you silly boy. Not that I’m saying you won’t be my first…but come on! And it’s not lame. I like that the pink and purple clouds remind you of me. Every time I see a plane I send a little call out for your safety. Gotta keep you safe, rocketman! Talk soon and love you! x

01/06 @ 4:45pm

My parents just dropped me off at the airport and no matter how many times I leave them, I always cry. I think the only time I didn’t cry when I left their house was when you were with me over Thanksgiving. You always make it better, bubs.

They’re coming down in a couple weeks to help me start packing, anything in the house you wouldn’t want them to see while dropping off boxes? I can still bring my old bed, etc for the guest room, right?

All my love, x

01/06 @ 9:58pm

I think I get that, having you around this time makes it different. I’ve never had anyone to really write to while I’ve been away before. Sure, I talked to my grandparents when they were still around and my aunts and uncles, Nat, Ice, and a couple others, but not like this. And I don’t ever want to not feel like this again.

I’m an open book, kid. Ain’t got nothing to hide. And yeah, anything like that feel free to bring with you for the guest room or office. It was the bed, nightstands, and dresser and then your couch for the office, yeah? We can get new bedding and pillows for it if you want? I’m on comms blackout for a couple days, so message me whenever you want so I can read them all when we’re back online.

Your Bradley

01/06 @ 10:07pm

Perfect! Love you and stay safe, rocketman.

01/06 @ 10:09pm

Love you too, kid.

01/09 @ 6:11pm

Bradley, I don’t mean to alarm you, but there was a raccoon in your garage! Scratch that, a FAMILY of raccoons!??! I’m sure Mr Harrington was ready to call the cops when he heard my scream. They’re so cute, but also terrifying at the same time? So, I called Pete and he came right over, a true knight in shining armor! Amelia and I did a THOROUGH sweep of the house to make sure they were relegated to the garage. Pete got them out safe and sound with a random tennis racket and your 4 iron, but somebody’s coming tomorrow to check on how they got in there. And I know they aren’t hurting anyone, but I just don’t want there to be any issues later on? (The babies were actually so cute and reminded me of my cat growing up, Porter.) Anyway! Enough drama for tonight, I hope that gets a laugh out of you - talk soon!

Love you! x

01/10 @ 8:05am

Well, the exterminator got here around 7:30 and sprayed all this stuff and blocked the hole in the crawl space of the garage. He showed me pictures and let me tell you, there was quite the nest up there. These raccoons were living large over the holidays.

01/12 @ 5:21pm

Okay! I’m in the parking lot, waiting for my first cooking class to start. Is it weird I’m a little nervous? I hope everyone else’s skill level is similar, I don’t like feeling behind. I brought my new apron, ironed it and everything. I feel a little like Ina Garten, isn’t she just divine? Okay, okay, I’m going in now! I’ll let you know how it goes! Thanks again for getting me these xx

01/12 @ 7:03pm

I feel so tired? Like my hand cramped a little bit? We started off the class with knife skills, which we’re going to do every week and then made this “simple” egg dish, which was NOT simple and I overcooked the egg. Ina would be so disappointed. Alas! Onto next week. Love you!

01/15 @ 9:12pm

Bradley you’re not going to BELIEVE what just happened on Succession. My heart is POUNDING? Do you think if I called and asked really nicely the Navy would get an HBO subscription for everyone? That is what I would like my tax dollars to go towards. Can you get me a direct line to someone in charge please? Love you!

01/16 @ 7:47am

Not to worry my little Barefoot Contessa, I have returned back to civilization (ie the internet), though am dismayed to have missed this mind blowing Succession episode? Has Perry Mason started back up again or will we be able to watch that together?

Bob and I were in the gym earlier and he almost dropped a dumbbell on my foot, I swear my life flashed before my eyes. But I had a new PR on the bench press today, up to 285 pounds. Glad the cooking lesson went well though! What’s the class makeup like? x Bradley

01/16 @ 9:04am

I’m glad you’re back online and safe! Perry Mason has not started yet, though I’m still certain you’re the only person under the age of 55 that watches it (I guess I should say we’re the only people under the age of 55 that watch it, but whatever). You’ve also missed a couple Top Chef episodes, but we can always binge this season later.

There’s about 12 of us in the class and it’s pretty evenly split? Though there’s tragically this really annoying couple who were at the station next to me. I hope we get to change next week, I don’t think I can watch them feed each other food another week.

And I’m still waiting for that direct line to the Navy, Bradshaw! Love you! x

01/1 6 @ 6:59pm

Wait, wait, how did I miss there? There was a WHAT in my garage? A raccoon? Multiple raccoons? We need to get a dog or a cat or something. x Bradley

01/18 @ 7:02am

Bradley!! I know we talked about a trip once you got home (provided you still feel up for it with the transition and all), what if we went here? I was talking about our tentative plans with my dad and Mary before I went back to San Diego and they went to Punta Mita this past fall and LOVED it! What do you think? Love you!

01/18 @ 6:03pm

Holy shit! That looks absolutely amazing, yes I’d love to go! Can we afford that though? It looks expensive? xBradley

01/18 @ 6:05pm

YAY!! Ahh, I’m so excited you have no idea! I want to hug and kiss you so bad right now! We can fly for free since I have a bunch of AA points (thank you pwc) and then I have like a million Amex points, so it’s not full price!!

01/18 @ 6:12pm

When you say ‘like a million’ do you actually mean a million or?

01/18 @ 6:14pm

Yes! I’ve had this card for like 15 years! My whole family does the pooling on it! It’s a drop in the bucket, promise! Plus, I always use my other card for work and that has a whole bunch of Bonvoy points on it, too. We could stay at one of those? I think there’s a St Regis next door?

01/18 @ 6:22pm

Sweetheart, I want to go, I just don’t want you to waste all those points on this.

01/18 @ 6:26pm

What if we go for 6 nights instead of 9? Maybe no plunge pool? Or we could pay cash instead? And then I could get 6x the points from paying that way? So, really….the points just keep accumulating, we’ve got to use them sometime! The points can pay for the flights and the hotel and then we can split the room charges and incidentals 50:50?

Will you think about it? You don’t have to give me an answer right away and we can always pick another hotel? But if we want to go someplace in late March/early April, I think we should book soon with spring break and all? Not that I imagine many coeds will be staying at the Four Seasons, but you never know…

01/18 @ 6:33pm

You gotta send me a ppt on all this points stuff, you know math stresses me out. And no, I don’t think many coeds will be staying at the Four Seasons, kid.

01/18 @ 6:37pm

Can I send you a dossier with everything!?! Even if you say no to that I’m doing it anyway ;) just promise me you’ll think about it, please? I’ll do whatever you want, Bradley <3

01/18 @ 6:40pm

Yes, please send the dossier my way henceforth, Moneypenny.

And you’ll do whatever I want, huh? Might have to send you a dossier of my own now…

(But yes, I promise I’ll seriously consider everything. I just don’t want you to feel like you have to spend all this money to make me happy. I’d say we’d both be happy camping out on the beach, but I think that might be a security issue down there, plus neither of us like camping - anyway, you know what I mean.)

01/18 @ 6:43pm

Lieutenant Commander Bradshaw!! Is this a dossier for my eyes only? What will M say!? I’ll send you mine if you send me yours?

(But seriously, thank you! I’ll send you more specifics tomorrow - like pricing and whatnot - and you can take a couple days to think it over. And thank you for clarifying the camping thing, I was worried for a second there.)

I love you so much rocketman and we’ll talk (email) tomorrow

x Moneypenny

01/18 @ 6:46pm

I’d say ‘sleep tight,’ but that’s a given considering you haven’t been fucked in a couple weeks.

(Perfect, I genuinely am really excited about it, just want to make sure it works out for us both.)

Love you so much, kid

Your Bradley

01/18 @ 6:58pm

Bradley Bradshaw!! You did not just say that over a government email server!

Imissyourcocksobadlyit’sdrivingmeinsane

01/18 @ 7:01pm

Couldn’t help it. Plus, we both know it’s true.

01/18 @ 7:04pm

Oh, shut up. Shut me up

01/18 @ 11:43pm

I’m sorry if I came off too strong about planning earlier, I might’ve gotten a little carried away and been a little too eager about planning something five days after you’re home from a three month detachment. If at any time before you come home or even right after you come home you don’t feel up to the trip, please please please tell me. I want to do something nice for you and give you a chance to truly relax, but I’d hate for it to come at a price. So, just let me know, okay? Say the word and we’ll push it, alright? I don’t exactly know what you’re going through, but tell me if it’s ever too much. I’ll always be here, promise. Love you x

[dossier_for_your_eyes_only.ppt]

01/19 @ 8:29am

Kid, no. I promise I’ll tell you. You know I love how excited you get planning things. I think I like it so much because you take care of it all. Sure, you ask for my opinion and what I want, but I just have to tell you one thing, one idea and you take care of it.

Funny though, isn’t it? How it’s totally opposite in the other side of our relationship? You tell me one thing, one idea and I take care of all of it? Bet it’s hard for you not having someone around to do that for you? Maybe next time we Facetime we can talk more about that? x B

01/19 @ 10:11am

Luckily, I have a very creative imagination, Lieutenant Commander Bradshaw.

See right now, I’m in my office, sitting at my desk, feeling so overwhelmed. It almost hurts how overwhelmed and frustrated I am. And you bust down the door, hair windswept like you’d flown to Del Mar, and you have that slutty flight suit on and I don’t even mind that you’re sweaty and gross. You smell absolutely divine and I rake my hands through your hair as you eat me out underneath my glass desk. I get a conference call, but you don’t stop the entire time. You like how squirmy and fussy I get, I can’t focus on the deliverable I’m working on for the client. You like that I can’t control myself, that I squeeze my thighs around your head. Eventually, you can’t take it anymore, your cock is aching so badly, and you need to fuck me on top of my desk. You’re so strong it almost breaks. You fuck me so good everyone in the office can hear me crying out for you.

(actually, I’m on the couch, watching college football, but it’s more fun to imagine you fucking me in my office - see, creative imagination! Make sure you get a quiet room for that Facetime...)

Love x

01/19 @ 7:29pm

You think you’re funny, huh? You have any more of those thoughts, feel free to send them my way. ‘m taking out that picture you gave me for Christmas right now. How you taking care of yourself? My imagination isn’t as creative as yours. B

01/19 @ 7:40pm

Guess you’ll have to wait for our next Facetime…

01/20 @ 4:24pm

Your dad and Mary write me emails, you know. They aren’t as good correspondents as you are (for how could they possibly be, my dear?), but they check in about once a week or so. Mary sends me some of the articles she gives her students and talks about the show she’s watching with your dad. Your dad mainly talks about you. It makes me wish my parents were still around to do this stuff with me. Just checking in and writing emails and bragging about me to my girlfriend? How was yesterday’s class?

Your Bradley

01/20 @ 5:39m

I didn’t know they wrote you that often and I’m beyond embarrassed that my dad talks about me that much? But come on, Bradley…you have someone who does that, too? He’s about 5’8” (on a good day), looks great in a leather jacket, and just spent about two hours last weekend cleaning your gutters and telling me about how you won your high school’s debate scholarship?? Like how could you not tell me that? It’s literally one of the hottest things I’ve heard about you!

Class was good! They taught us a trick to cut onions without crying and one of the other girls complimented my apron! We’re doing meats next week, cutting, marinating, cooking, etc. and I’m excited!

01/20 @ 5:42pm

Oh gee, I bet it’s just awful for you to have Mav around all the time. Knight in shining armor…

01/20 @ 5:48pm

He’s not a bother! And it’s not all the time! We’re actually going to get lunch together on Saturday! It’s this new place on the water.

01/20 @ 5:50pm

Sounds like a cute little date! You’ll have to tell me how he is. Love you so much B

01/20 @ 5:55pm

I’ll keep ya posted, bubs! Love you!

01/22 @ 10:01am

Breaking news, kid. Your esteemed, naval aviator boyfriend is going to be on 60 Minutes at the end of February. Totally came out of left field, but I couldn’t say anything until they finished filming. It’s about the Navy in the Pacific and “the lost art of shipbuilding.” They even rigged up a camera on my plane and everything, it was so cool. I’ve been dying to tell you, but again couldn’t say anything until it was official. I probably won’t be on it long since they interviewed the Admiral and Pac Fleet Commander for most of it, but yeah, Payback and Bob and I will be on with my girl Norah. I made sure I had enough sunscreen on so I was camera ready at all times. Love you B

01/22 @ 10:09am

YOU’RE FUCKING SHITTING ME????? Oh my god, Bradley! That’s amazing! Margie even ran into my office to see what made me shriek! I am TOTALLY having a viewing party! Oh my god, how do you think it went? Did they get your good side? What about hair and makeup? I know you get helmet hair, bubs.

Seriously, so so excited and proud of you, Bradley! I’m going to make my dad and Mary come down for it! She doesn’t teach on Mondays, so this is perfect for them to stay over Sunday night! But now don’t go letting all that fame get to your head, Lieutenant Commander Bradshaw 😉 Love you so much x

01/24 @ 12:17pm

Rocketman -

I was sitting at my desk earlier and listening to some music before my 12:30 meeting and Elton John’s Rocket Man popped up on my shuffle. Obviously, as you are my rocketman, I always think of you whenever I hear it, but today the lyrics really scratched that special part of my brain, so I did a deep dive into the song’s origins.

Please note, I’m including this time in my billable hours to the client (re. you). My findings are as follows:

Bernie Taupin was inspired by a Ray Bradbury story written in 1951 titled ‘The Rocket Man’ - not drugs as the urban legend states! Drugs! Imagine!

Bradbury’s ‘The Rocket Man’ was first published in Maclean’s, a weekly Canadian magazine, before it was published in the short story collection ‘The Illustrated Man’ that same year

‘The Illustrated Man’ later was made into a film, though ‘The Rocket Man’ story was notably absent

Some of more popular and renowned stories from the collection include ‘The Veldt’ and ‘The Long Rain,’ the latter of which is commonly read in high school honors English

Was client in honors English? Please confirm in follow up correspondence

Client has mentioned extensive library resources at disposal - perhaps he can check this collection out on his next visit? But for now, an executive summary has been provided:

With space travel more commonplace in society, Doug’s father, an astronaut, is sent on frequent, three- month journeys into space

Despite missing his dad, Doug also longs to be a Rocket Man, though his mother frequently prevails on Doug to beg his father to stay on Earth and be with the family

“What’s it like, out in space?” Mother shot me a frightened glance. It was too late. Dad stood there for a full half minute trying to find an answer, then he shrugged.“It’s the best thing in a lifetime of best things.” Then he caught himself. “Oh, it’s really nothing at all. Routine. You wouldn’t like it.” He looked at me, apprehensively. “But you always go back.” “Habit.”

The father finds that his work is ruining his life, but the draw of the stars is too great: "You don’t know what it is. Every time I’m out there I think, if I ever get back to Earth I’ll stay there; I’ll never go out again. But I got out, and I guess I’ll always go out.”

Even while on vacation with the family, having Thanksgiving dinner, or sitting on the back porch, the father’s eyes are always on the sky…

Doug’s father begs him to not be like him, to not be a rocket man, but what happens when his father goes on one last journey to the stars?

Through much reflection, I have decided that ‘The Rocket Man’ was written about you - and your mom and your dad and me and on and on until there is no longer a need for Rocket Men - or the rocket man simply stops and breaks the cycle

You are both the Rocket Man and the little boy, forever waiting for his father to come home from space

The allure of flying, of being a ‘rocket man,’ is both too great and too sad for you to ignore

None of this is to say the rocket man is selfish, no. He simply cannot resist the temptation. He knows nothing other than the thrill and peace of being amongst the stars

And his mother shielding Doug from the sun at the end is like your mom asking Mav to pull your papers, she does it to save him, but it cannot keep him from becoming his father

Needless to say - I had to postpone my 12:30 meeting until tomorrow as my eyes were far too puffy and any word I tried to say felt like cotton in my mouth.

I miss you and I love you - your ‘Lilly’

01/24 @ 8:22pm

Fuck - I love you so much. My clever girl.

01/24 @ 8:28pm

I pour my heart out to you and that’s all you have to say, rocketman? ‘Fuck - I love you so much’

(of course, I also love you so much, my clever boy.)

01/24 @ 8:30pm

Darling - it’s going to take me a little longer to come up with any commentary you deem appropriate, so for the sake of time, yes. I gotta read this story in full. I’ll be at the library at my earliest convenience. ‘The client’ will send an annotated copy with his notes henceforth.

01/24 @ 8:32pm

Of course, sweet boy. Goodnight, I love you so much. x

01/25 @ 11:44am

As promised, my darling girl. Love you.

[b.bradshaw_the rocket man_final paper.pdf]

01/25 @ 7:14pm

Oh Bradley! I love you so much, rocketman. Yes, I couldn’t have said it better. Yours x

01/26 @ 10:39am

Bradley! They’re sending me to London in February for two weeks! I even get a swanky corporate apartment for the stay. I wish you could come with me - even if it was just for a long weekend? We could go to all my favorite restaurants and afternoon tea and for walks in all the parks. One day it’ll work out!

But tragedy of all tragedies! I just realized I’m going to miss a couple cooking lessons when I’m in London! I already emailed the instructor before today’s class and she said there’s other classes throughout the week that are behind us, so I can make it up with them! Ahhh I’m so excited! Talk soon, love you!

01/26 @ 11:13pm

I didn’t realize how nervous I was about the trip until I went to bed tonight. It’ll be my first trip abroad since I got my promotion in November. Plus, it’s a completely different client than my last trip abroad and I’ve only met one person on this new London team before. Sometimes I go into these meetings and still feel like a little kid? I’m always the youngest person in the room and normally the only woman and on one hand, that’s cool? But sometimes I feel like someone’s daughter instead of their colleague? Like these guys are my dad’s age? And they’re actually supposed to listen to what I have to say about their company? Do you ever feel like that? Like you don’t really belong, despite knowing you’ve earned your place? I wish you were beside me right now. My bed feels way too big tonight. Love you.

01/27 @ 7:48am

Sweetheart! I am so unbelievably proud of you! That’s amazing! You gotta celebrate, go out to dinner with Caro and Darcy, maybe even Nat! I know you’ve been working so hard these last couple of weeks, you absolutely deserve this. I can’t say I know exactly what you’re going through, but yes. I have absolutely felt like I haven’t belonged or deserved something despite having ‘checked off all the boxes.’ I felt that way when I got promoted to LC and when I got that award in October. Everytime I see it on my uniform, I feel a bit like a faker? Like do I really deserve this? But then I remember the way you smiled at me when I got back to my seat that night and how proud of me you were and I think maybe I do deserve it? Plus, I also think of how goddamn gorgeous you looked all fucked out later that night.

And please note, I would happily slip into bed alongside you, especially since my bed feels way too small tonight. Love you, Bradley

01/27 @ 10:56am

Thank you for earlier. I don’t know, sometimes I just feel like I’m just too soft for all of this? Like I’m always trying to prove something to everyone and I get a little lost. Tell me something good? x

01/27 @ 7:01pm

How about this? Every time I go up in the sky and see the way the sun hits the clouds, I think of you. I’ve never wanted to be with someone as much as I want to be with you. I love you so much, kid

Your Bradley

01/27 @ 7:06pm

Sometimes I can’t believe we love each other this much, it feels like a dream x

01/27 @ 7:11pm

I can. Your Bradley

01/30 @ 7:08am

i slept in one of your shirts last night. it doesn’t smell like you anymore, but it feels like you: soft and safe and warm x

01/30 @ 7:23am

Well I spray my pillowcase with your perfume whenever I miss you so I guess we’re even

Your Bradley

ps - can you send me another bottle?

01/30 @ 7:34am

You’re already out? What sort of illicit behavior are you engaging in with that perfume bottle?

01/30 @ 10:33pm

I burrow my face in my pillow so I can smell it while I fist my cock, why? What’d you have in mind?

01/30 @ 10:37pm

How does that work though? Like genuinely? Do you jack off with Rueben in the top bunk? Or wait till he’s in the gym? I’ve been curious about this for a while now. What about the showers? Is it like an open floor plan thing? Or are there stalls? Is there a Zillow listing for this aircraft carrier?

01/30 @ 10:41pm

Now why would I ruin the mystery?

01/30 @ 10:43pm

Bradley!!!!

01/30 @ 10:44pm

Atta girl, that’s the spirit! Love you

02/02 @ 6:30pm

I am so sick of going to the gym. It seems like it’s all Payback and I do lately. We got this new workout regime that’s been killing me - don’t say it’s because I’m old. Though, I have been using my Theragun. Payback does my back if I do his in return. It was only awkward the first time he turned it on too hard and yelped (please tell everyone that).

02/02 @ 6:46pm

Oh, so you and Rueben Theragun each other, huh? Say more Lieutenant Commander!

02/04 @ 2:45pm

Going to Pete and Penny’s in a bit to watch the Super Bowl! Max is at the game, apparently his golf buddy Jimmy G hooked him up, though he neglected to bring me or Caroline. I feel like you would’ve been his first choice, so take that as a compliment I suppose. Do you guys do anything onboard for it? I have $350 on the 49ers winning by 3. Have a lovely day my darling boy x

02/04 @ 9:30pm

Guess who’s as snug as a bug on a rug in her bed AND $1400 dollars richer? That would be me! When you get home we’re going to Juniper and Ivy, my treat, bubs! x

02/06 @ 4:57am

Awww sweetheart are you gonna sugar mama me again?

02/06 @ 7:03am

You do know the only reason you’re getting away with that is because there’s an ocean between us, right?

02/06 @ 6:00pm

Sorry, couldn’t resist! Love you! B

02/06 @ 6:10pm

You’re lucky I love you so much. x

02/08 @ 9:58pm

Can you imagine if I was gone for 20 years?

02/08 @ 10:11pm

Bradley that’s not funny

02/08 @ 10:13pm

It’s not supposed to be. I’m reading the Odyssey and it got me thinking.

02/08 @ 10:16pm

Bradley I love you something awful, but you are such an old man sometimes.

Are you going through some sort of midlife crisis reading the Odyssey while you’re at sea?? Is the Old Man and the Sea next?

(ps i love the thought of you reading in your bunk in your spare time and being so struck by something composed thousands of years ago that you have to email me)

02/08 @ 10:20pm

They wait 20 years to get back to each other - practically half their lives. They miss so many things and barely knew each other before he left, but they’re still so - I don’t even know? They’re just so intent on getting back to the other in Odysseus’s case? While Penelope makes sure there’s something for him to come back to? And I must’ve read this stanza ten times before I had to email you:

"...the gods cast me upon Ogygia, Calypso's island, home of the dangerous sea nymph with glossy braids, and the goddess took me in in all her kindness, welcomed me warmly, cherished me, even vowed to make me immortal, ageless, all my days - but she never won the heart inside me, never"

And I know it’s not a perfect comparison or parallel, but I read that last bit and I couldn’t help but think of you? And how you’re the one who won my heart and it’s always going to be that way. Whether I see you in twenty seconds or twenty years.

02/08 @ 10:23pm

You’d come home to me whether it took twenty seconds or twenty years. You’d come home to me and I’d know you anywhere. I love you so much.

02/08 @ 10:58pm

“Now help me, please, to get back home, and quickly! I miss my family. I have been gone so long it hurts.”

Your Bradley

02/09 @ 7:03pm

At the airport for London! Taking off! And I may or may not have used points to upgrade to a Club World seat…but like? It’s a nonstop flight, so it’s okay, right? Work’s already paying for business class? It’s points from my work card? It’ll be fine, right?

I had to take an ativan in the lounge. I just hate that I still get so nervous whenever I fly long distance? I fly all the time, I shouldn’t be like this? You know, one time, I pretended you were flying my plane. I know it’s kind of dumb and silly and a completely different type of plane, but it made me feel better because you’d never let anything happen to me.

Anyway, we’re book buddies!! I went to the bookstore a couple days ago and got a copy! I read the Odyssey back in high school, but forgot so much. I was reading in the lounge and this part made me think of you:

“...this lovely house, my marriage home, so full of wealth and life, which I suppose I will remember even in my dreams.”

I’ll text you when I land my darling boy, love you x

02/10 @ 6:02am

You gotta squeeze every last bit of your per diem out of pwc. You’ve been working way too hard lately. Fuck it, on the way home just put the upgrade on your work card or put it on mine. Have a safe (rest of your) flight - maybe one day you’ll let me take you up. Love Bradley

02/10 @ 10:08am

Just landed and on my way to the office (already…)

I thought of you as I read and stared out the window on the plane. I could pretend I’m flying towards you, rather than further away. I can’t imagine how you feel doing this everyday, but I imagine it’s like feeling limitless, like everything is in front of you, there for the taking. Maybe, just maybe, I’ll let you take me up one day.

I’ll keep you posted on how everything’s going if you do the same. All my love x

02/12 @ 5:49am

How’s it going, kid? They working you too hard? You’re in London! Try to enjoy it, you deserve it. One of the guys I’m with gave me a restaurant recommendation for you, said the drinks were amazing, his wife loved it. Do something fun while you’re there! And send me some pictures dammit!

Love you,

Bradley

02/12 @ 8:22am

Bradley! It’s been so so crazy here! I feel like I haven’t stopped since I landed. My ‘flat’ is so cute and right by the client’s offices, so it’s an easy commute. I feel so professional taking the Tube places too! It’s one thing I’d like us to have in San Diego as opposed to all the traffic. Also, it’s CHILLY here and I’m so glad I dug my big coat out of storage. I’ll try and check the restaurant out this weekend, I’m gonna sneak in a trip to the Tate, too. I’ve always wanted to see the Turners. Talk soon and love you bunches! x

02/14 @ 9:54am

Bradley Bradshaw! You absolute SAP! HOW!?! Did you conspire with my dad again? Thank you for the flowers! I’m going to have the biggest smile on my face all day. I love you and hope this is the first of a lifetime of Valentine’s Days together. Always x

02/14 @ 7:33pm

Happy Valentine’s Day to you too, kid. I’m not gonna lie, I gave your dad very specific instructions for the bouquet (I was going to ask Max, but he’d probably swap it for something ugly and cheap and keep the change…kidding (not)), so I’m glad they turned out well. It was a very big day on board today: we got special red heart cookies for the holiday. The mood was infectious, I can still taste the sprinkles. Maybe you could cook for me on our next Facetime? Have you learned anything good in class lately? It doesn’t have to be fancy, just wanna see you (and maybe also live vicariously through whatever you’re making).

02/14 @ 7:33pm

Bradley! I think I can swing that for you, when do you think our next call will be?

02/16 @ 3:18pm

Kid, you spoil me. This package is amazing, I don’t know where to start (just kidding it’s with the Cadbury chocolate and the Sudocrem as my burnt shoulders thank you), but everything is wonderful, thank you. I love hearing about London and seeing the pictures you sent last time. But I do have one complaint…you’re not in any of the pictures, kid, and that’s truly egregious. (Think we won’t be able to Facetime for a while, I gave Payback my slot the other day.)

02/16 @ 3:23pm

That’s not true! I’m in the one in front of the Tate!

02/16 @ 3:25pm

Yeah, but I can’t see you under all those layers! Just want to see your face. It’s been way too long since our last Facetime.

02/16 @ 9:52pm

As requested, Lieutenant Commander. I had one of the girls in the London office take this at dinner tonight. She really did wonders with the lighting and even managed to get my sidecar in the pic! x Love you

02/17 @ 6:55am

You look pretty. New dress? B

02/17 @ 7:17am

Maybe…it was on sale, couldn’t resist. But you’re gonna hate me because all of my clothes are very much not going to fit in your closet. Also, I bought you a new jacket and some socks. x

02/17 @ 7:20am

Ehhh I’m not too worried about the closet thing. But if you keep buying me clothes we might have a problem.

02/17 @ 7:24am

It’s so cute though!! You’re going to look so handsome in it! I got the green one for you!

02/17 @ 7:29am

Okay, admittedly a very nice jacket, thank you. But you are aware that we live in San Diego…

02/17 @ 7:31am

I am aware of that fact, LC Bradshaw. You can wear it when we visit my parents. Hell, I had to get my coat out of my storage closet for this trip.

02/17 @ 6:53pm

Sighhhhh you raise a good point. Alright, alright, thank you for the jacket and socks my darling girl. What’d you have for dinner last night? We had chicken with these absolutely awful biscuits, tasted like saw dust, my stomach was growling for some more of that Cadbury chocolate (yes, Payback and I ate all of it already, though it was mainly Payback) for hours afterward.

02/17 @ 6:59pm

Oh my sweet boy! Who do I need to call about your meal plan? Give me the number and I’ll call the Navy up right now. And I had scallops with truffle risotto. It was delicious. Wanted to lick the bowl clean. Love you bubs x

02/19 @ 10:22pm

Bubs, I cannot eat another meal out. I feel like I’m going to burst. I’ve gone to so many work dinners and lunches even before coming here, it almost makes me feel like a glutton.

I miss you and your cooking (though I’ll have you know that my skills were vastly improving before my trip abroad!) and you standing behind me at the counter while I try to perfectly cut peppers. Sometimes I do it wrong on purpose so you’ll put your arms around me and I can feel the rumble of your voice. Would we call that weaponized incompetence? You better be ready for some Michelin Star meals when you get home, buddy. I just can’t wait to be home with you and roll over next to you in the morning and to tell you to stop snoring and that the battery in the smoke detector needs to be changed. I can’t wait to be home with you and make a life with you. I’m going to be really sappy now, but let me have this because I was reading this poem the other day and thought of you.

“I am supposed to be touched. I can’t wait to find the person who will come into the kitchen just to smell my neck and get behind me and hug me and breathe me in and make me turn around and make me kiss his face and put my hands in his hair even with my soapy dishwater drips. I am a lovely woman. Who will come into my kitchen and be hungry for me?” (x)

Only a month until you’re home with me, I hope you’re hungry.

All my love x

02/20 @ 4:50am

It’s only weaponized incompetence if the other person minds. I, however, do not mind. I loved that quote you sent me, going to be thinking about that one for a long time. I hate to tell you this, but I’m gonna be offline for a couple days. I hate that it’s at the end of your trip, but please please message me when you’re leaving/taking off and again when you land, you know I worry. Love you and am so unbelievably proud of you, kid! You killed it in London. Your Bradley

02/20 @ 7:03am

That’s okay, I totally understand. I’ll give you all the details on our next Facetime. In the meantime, I message you when I leave. Stay safe and love you, Bradley! x

02/23 @ 3:45pm

Taking off soon! I got an upgrade again, thankfully! And I made sure to put your new coat in my carry on - I don’t trust British Airways not to lose it! Taking an ativan again so hopefully I’ll sleep the entire flight - love you and talk soon!

02/24 @ 10:33pm

Just landed, slept through….90% of the flight! Apparently, there was bad turbulence, so probably for the best. Now, I know you would never have me deal with that my darling rocketman! Talk later - love you! x

02/25 @ 7:09pm

Feels kind of weird being back? I can’t quite get back into my routine. I’m not sure if it’s jet lag or something else? Feeling a little lost? x

02/26 @ 7:55pm

Bradley!!! You were so good, I’m so so proud of you! Max had everyone over at his place for us to watch you! We have quite the party here including my parents, Pete, Penny and Amelia, Natasha, Mickey and Cielo, Caroline, and Darcy. I’ll have to tell you about the parents meeting later. I wish you had been here for it, they took to each other like bees to honey.

You looked tragically handsome, I practically had to hold back a moan when you were standing on the flight deck talking to Norah O’Donnell (is she as nice in person as she is on TV?). God, I want to ravish you, you sounded so fucking smart. You know like half the country is going to be in love with you now, right? I’ve got to get back to everyone, Max ordered dinner for us afterwards, but I had to email you as soon as you finished!

Just wanted to let you know how proud of you I am and how much I love you x

02/27 @ 5:09am

Thanks, kid. Sorry it took me a bit to respond, things have been getting a bit crazy, you know, now that I’m a celebrity and all? We’re winding down this training, so the next couple weeks are gonna be full of debriefs and paperwork, which means I should have a more stable schedule. Love you B

02/28 @ 11:48pm

Sometimes I wonder if you were here what would you do? Hold me? Love me? I never feel small except when I’m in your arms. x

02/29 @ 11:48pm

Some nights in bed, if I try really hard, I can imagine I’m laying down next to you. And it makes everything just a little easier. Bradley

03/01 @ 12:56am

I haven’t taken anything besides my fingers in months. You’re going to stretch me out so well when you get home.

03/01 @ 7:19pm

And I’m gonna mark your ass pink for that comment. I can’t believe you sent that in the middle of the day. You getting yourself off at work? Dirty girl.

03/01 @ 9:41pm

Never feels as good as when you do it.

03/01 @ 10:01pm

And my hands pale in comparison to your pretty little cunt. You know that first time we slept together you were so fucking tight, I knew you hadn’t had a good fuck in ages. It gonna be like that again when I come home?

03/01 @ 10:05pm

Where are you going to have me first?

03/01 @ 10:06pm

In our bed, in our house, after you make me dinner in our kitchen.

03/01 @ 10:09pm

Just over two weeks now, I can’t wait to see you. x

03/03 @ 5:55am

How you holding up, kid? You doing a little better this week work wise? Try and log off around 5 if you can. Don’t want you getting all worn down on me.

They had us doing these war games yesterday that made me think of you. You would’ve walked circles around some of these other guys I swear. Think I can get a Facetime for us in a couple days? Probably will be our last one before I come home. Love you, B

03/03 @ 7:12am

Bradley! That's the best news I’ve had in ages! I can’t wait to see you! Definitely felt a little lost after coming back from London, but I hope my rut will be over soon? Tying things up with a client is always so lengthy and tedious.

War games! ‘Would you like to play a game?’ I’d ask if you won, but no one ever wins in the art of war 😉Love you!

03/05 @ 8:54pm

So, here’s a new one. My mom called? She’s going to be stateside and wants to get lunch tomorrow. Could’ve done with a bit more warning, but apparently, she has a layover in San Diego on her way to New York to see my brother? I didn’t even know she was going to see him? I don’t even know if I want to see her? It’s funny, I can already tell you exactly how it’ll play out:

We’ll go to lunch at some sort of vegan restaurant, probably Donna Jean

She’ll make me pay

She’ll try to get me to use some sort of herb to promote weight loss since I’m looking a bit “pudgy” around the face

Though she’ll forget to ask about you, she’ll tell me about her latest string of failed relationships with bartenders and surf instructors in Canggu. Or is it Ubud? I genuinely don’t remember, she started in Ubud, but honestly my knowledge of Balinese geography is rudimentary at best

She’ll ask how ‘that woman’ is doing as if Mary is just the woman my dad is seeing, not the woman who raised me and my brother

And finally, she’ll ask for money though betting is still open as to what for!

So, what do you say? Wanna put a wager on it? Your terms.

Love you! x

03/06 @ 6:30am

$100 she orders the caesar and makes you pay. I’m not even going to entertain the third parlay, pretty girl. Oddly feeling like she’s got a winner on her hands so yes she’ll talk about her new paramour. Does she really call Mary ‘that woman?’ And yes, without a question, she will ask you for money.

Your move my gorgeous girl,

Bradley

03/06 @ 7:49pm

I really wish you were here right now. She doesn’t even know me, but she somehow always manages to make me feel small.

Caesar - no croutons

I paid

Pudgy and frumpy, but she was hawking shakes not herbs

Failed relationship? No, she’s actually GETTING MARRIED

She did not ask about you much other than to say I need to watch my figure for you (see bullet point no. 3)

Mary was called ‘that woman’ six times before I stopped counting

She asked for money as a wedding present

So, you didn’t get them all, but not a bad showing. Love you. Talk tomorrow on Facetime. x

03/07 @ 6:09am

God kid, I’m so sorry. She doesn’t know what she’s missing. Actually, I don’t even think she deserves to know what she’s missing. Did you talk to your dad or Mary about it? I know we’re talking later, but I just wanted you to have a message from me before you start your day. What’re you wearing to the office tomorrow? Have you worn that polka dot dress with the bow lately? You know it’s one of my favorites and that I always love unwrapping it when you get home from the office.

Can’t wait to see you tonight. All my love, Bradley

03/07 @ 9:55am

The dress doesn’t fit. My mom was right, I shouldn’t have gotten the french toast.

I’m planning on talking to dad and Mary later today before you and I have our Facetime. I know they’ll make me feel better, much like you have my darling boy, but it still feels pretty crummy. Especially since I’m sure she’s going to have wonderful time in New York with my brother 🙄 and I’ll have to hear all about it next time I talk to him.

And I’m not sure if I’ve unpacked that dress yet! I’ll have to do some digging. Talk soon! x

03/10 @ 3:26am

We had a little baby. He was always giggling and laughing and we were making silly faces and he looked so small in your arms, Bradley. So small and little and he was ours. And then I turned around and he was toddling around the house and we were chasing him and his little legs were moving so quickly and we all wound up on the couch in a tangle of limbs, giggling under the blankets as we tickled him and he called you daddy.

It wasn’t our house - or what will be our house, I guess? Instead of the leather couch you have, it was white and big and wide and the three of us could easily fit on it, snuggled together.

And I could feel your arms around me, rocking me back and forth. I could feel you humming in my ear and kissing my neck and telling me you loved me. I could feel it. I could feel you. I could feel him and you. And it was nice and I felt warm and safe and cherished and loved. Because I felt so much love for this little boy in my arms - the perfect mix of me and you. Everything felt right and perfect.

Except when I rolled over in bed to tell you about it, I realized I was alone in my bed, in my apartment, and not in the house that we shared or with the little boy that looked so much like you and I haven’t felt so empty and sad since I can’t remember when.

And I just miss you so much, Bradley. I know I can come across as glib and unfeeling sometimes and like this doesn’t affect me as much. But it does and sometimes I feel like my heart is going to burst because I’ve never felt like this for anyone else before? It’s never been so easy for me to love someone and let them love me to the point that I always want to be beside them. And I know with your job - and mine - that can’t always happen, but god Bradley I wish you were here right now so you could hold me and tell me you loved me because I just want to feel your arms around me and know you’re real. I want to tell you about the little boy - the perfect mix of me and you.

I love you rocketman x

03/11 @ 12:49pm

I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said anything. I realize that’s a lot to drop on you, especially since we can’t talk in person. I guess I’ve just never missed a person more in my life and seeing that future showed me what we could have when you come home. God, Bradley I want you to come home so badly. I want you to stay here with me forever and never leave and to have that cute little boy who was the perfect mix of me and you and to have you here in my arms every night. And I know it’s selfish of me to ask or even make you think about it, but I want you right here - in twenty seconds, not twenty years.

How did your hop go today? x

03/11 @ 7:03pm

I have dreams like that, too. I’ll be little, but still older than I was when my dad died and we’ll be at the beach, running around, and he’ll pick me up and spin me around like I’m flying on an airplane.

But then it’ll be me and my kid, running around and I’ll pick them up and spin them around like they’re flying on an airplane. Sometimes it’s a girl, sometimes a little boy. But I always just can feel and tell that I love them and I’d do anything for them.

And I used to hate waking up alone after I had them and I’d feel empty and sad and like I had the feeling that they should still be there? Except now I have you and I know it doesn’t just have to be a dream?

Sorry it took me so long to reply. Today was hectic and I didn’t get to check my email until later. But if I checked it earlier, my day would’ve been a lot easier on my heart.

All my love,

Your Bradley

03/12 @ 7:11pm

How do you always know exactly what to say? I’m sorry for springing that all on you, know it wasn’t exactly a quick/easy message, but I love that you knew exactly what I meant. My day’s always a lot easier on my heart when I hear from you, too. Love you x

03/13 @ 10:17pm

i miss having you around to take care of me. and telling me what to do and what to wear for you and how you want me and where you want me and when you want me and and and. and how good i feel around you as you come, how you take what’s yours. how i need you to take control and tell me what i need because i’m too much of a dumb slut to figure it out on my own. i need you so much bradley. and it’s so hard because i’m trying to take care of myself like you do and imagine what you’d do if you were with me right now. but i’m so frustrated since no one takes care of me like you do. i feel so empty. nothing stretches me out like you do, nothing makes me feel as small as you do, nothing makes me flush like the sound of your voice against my neck as i come, nothing soothes the ache inside me like you do. need you to call me good girl, pretty girl, sweet girl, anything as long as it’s yours.

i need you i need you i need you i need you bradley bradley bradley bradley

3/13 @ 10:39pm

Awwww sweetheart, did you get yourself all worked up over me? It’s okay, I know it’s hard for you all by yourself. Must’ve been real bad for you to risk this getting flagged, huh? Poor thing, don’t worry, I’ll take care of you.

Want you to pretend I’m next to you, leaning over you as you lay down and touch yourself. Say yes Bradley, more Bradley. Bradley, Bradley, Bradley. Good girl.

Want you naked under the covers, no frilly little pajama set or anything. No, I want your cum to stain the sheets and then for you to have to clean up in the morning, all embarrassed because you did this. You made yourself like this because you can’t control yourself without me around. All that cum being wasted. Nobody around to lick it off your pussy. So what doesn’t get on the sheets, you have to taste. Good girl.

Want you to use your fingers - only your fingers, I’ll know if you use anything else. Start with your breasts. Think of how perfectly they fit in my hands and how yours aren’t quite the same. They aren’t as big. Aren’t as strong. Play with your nipples, drag your nails across the soft skin on the underside of your breasts.

Want you to sigh my name as you slide your hands down your stomach towards your pretty little pussy. Have you shaved? Gotten a wax? You know how I like it, want it just like that when I get home. Pretend it’s my fingers sliding into your cunt. A few touches and you’re already clenching on air and I’m not even around.

In and out, in and out. Circle your clit with your thumb. Add another finger, then another. You rocking your hips yet? I know you’re soaked. I know you want more. Three fingers can’t stretch you out nearly as much as you need. But I don’t know if you can handle anything else without me around. And I know you would never disagree with me, right? Because you’re my good girl and good girls do what they’re told.

Don’t hesitate to get loud. You’re in our house, in our bed, you can be as loud as you want. Bet you’re getting close, huh? Try and last a little longer, can you hear yourself and how wet you are? Are you shaking yet? I know you’re close. Go ahead, speed up your fingers, just the way I do. It’s okay, you can come. Know you’re gonna get sleepy soon, wish I could sleep inside you, nice and tight.

Now say thank you Bradley. Good girl.

03/14 @ 5:49pm

Thank you, Bradley. Thank you for taking care of me last night

You like chicken piccata, right?

03/14 @ 7:33pm

Yeah, kid, I like chicken piccata.

03/14 @ 7:39pm

Okay, that’s good. I’m going to make it when you come home. I ran it by my cooking instructor. Ina’s recipe of course.

(I’ve read your email seven times since you sent it. I’ve thought about it constantly. I want you to take me softly and slowly that first time. But after that? I can’t wait to let go and float. Love you so much x)

03/15 @ 6:09am

You’re the boss. Good thing I’ll be home soon, you’re gonna run out of material. As is, I had to type that last one with one hand.

Love you,

03/15 @ 7:21am

I’ll be good till you get home, promise.

Have a good day, do you think we’ll get to talk much from now till Friday? Love you x

03/15 @ 7:24am

I’ll hold you to it.

I don’t think so, might be able to send one out before leaving the boat. Better make it a good one.

All my love

Your Bradley

03/15 @ 7:25am

You got it! Love you bubs

03/18 @ 11:08pm

Kid - there’s this lyric that keeps running through my head: ‘and I want you right here.’ I want you beside me - today, tomorrow, all my days. I want you right here, beside me forever. In twenty seconds, not twenty years. See you tomorrow.

All my love,

Your Bradley

03/18 @ 11:11pm

See you tomorrow, rocketman. I’ll be the one in blue.

Love you x

a/n: thanks for reading! i'll be back with part ii and part iii (hopefully not in...4 months). i had so much fun writing these and getting to explore a different format and side to their relationship! thanks to alexa @sometimesanalice, kylie @ofstoriesandstardust, cass @notroosterbradshaw, elle @dissonannce, nik @cherrycola27, and loren @heartsofminds for all the support!

#bradley bradshaw x reader #bradley bradshaw imagine #bradley bradshaw x you #bradley rooster bradshaw x reader #rooster imagine #bradley and smart aleck #top gun imagine #bradley bradshaw x female reader #rooster x reader

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vampyrsm · 5 months

Text

‣‣ COR UNUM: CHAPTER SIXTEEN | SUIJIN

‣‣ Synopsis: The Tale of the exiled ex-Shogun's daughter continues with the current Shogun demanding more answers, and going to extreme lengths to do so. And miles away, blood is spilt and someone is taken hostage in the dead of night.

‣‣ Main Masterlist | AO3 ‣‣ Pairing: Sukuna x Reader ‣‣ Word Count: est. 6.6k ‣‣ Warnings: Blank blogs & Minors DNI. Dead Dove: Do Not Eat. Set in the Early-Heian Period, trueform!Sukuna, female reader, cannibalism, descriptions of torture, waterboarding, near-death experience, Shogun has his own warning (again), blackouts, misogynistic views, death, cursed energy usage.

Hands that belong to people you don’t know grab and pull you around, they pinch and slap at skin that shouldn’t be tainted by their filthy hands. And yet, you find yourself unable to fight back when you’re forced flat onto a wooden table that had been dragged into your cell at some point. Panic floods you instantly but your head feels as if it’s been filled with cotton—what did they do to you in your sleep?

A face appears above your own, and you have just enough strength to flinch away from the proximity of the Shogun’s face. “What a sorry state you’re already in. You must truly be weak.”

Your tongue is too thick in your mouth to voice your argument, so instead you draw your cheeks in and spit with all your might. It lands with a gross splat on his mouth, but he does not falter. Instead, a hand is raised and struck in the same move. It stings against your cheek, against the wounds there that are still so raw.

“Worry not, dear niece. We’ll correct your behaviour, but first I want to revisit the questions you refused to answer four days ago.”

Four days. You had no idea so much time had passed, you hoped Sukuna was still nowhere near—you didn’t want him to fall for the trap they were setting up for him here.

The Shogun stands to his full height, hands tucked behind his back in a stance you’d seen your father take so many times. “Hold her firmly, the human body even as weak as hers will react strongly to what is to come.”

Four sets of hands are pressed into your skin, at your wrists and ankles and even at your shoulders and thighs. Their hands are unpleasant in the way they hold you, as if they had a claim over your body. It makes you sick.

Your Uncle is gone from your vision for a moment before he reappears, handing something over to the man at your shoulders. A cloth is placed over your face, flat to your skin until you’re forced to open your mouth to gasp for breath.

“A taste first, of what’s to come if you refuse to answer this time.”

You hear something moving, a sloshing of water and your blood runs as cold as the snow you know to cap the mountains outside. No, you try to scream and shake your head but the hands holding you tighten at the sudden surge in your strength. No—

Water is poured onto your face, and you can’t help but inhale deeply, reflexively. It burns at your nose and your throat, your body working hard to try and expel the water that’s poured over the cloth on your face. It feels like you’re drowning, the air in your lungs doesn’t feel like it’s enough and it’s only a matter of time before they seize working all together.

The water is pulled back quickly, and you’re able to suck in a deep breath despite the wet cloth still dripping streams of water into the back of your throat. You choke, coughing hard enough to cause your body to move painfully upwards. The hands on your body force you back down.

“Now. I think you’ll do well to answer my questions this time, or you will die in this cell. I’ll feed your body to the curses after my men are done with you.”

The cloth is pulled from your face, and you blink harshly at the sudden shift in light. More lanterns had been lit for the convenience of the Shogun. The man before you laughs, snickering at the redness of your eyes and the tears that stain your skin. Weak, he had called you, perhaps you truly are.

“Tell me what he did to you.” The Shogun starts, tilting his head to stare at you more directly. “I know he tainted you, but how? Tell me, and I’ll try to fix you.”

You shake your head no—you didn’t want to be fixed. The Shogun seemed to expect that answer, as he does not crumple his face in anger and instead nods his head to the man holding the cloth. It’s stretched painfully across your face and this time you suck in a deep breath.

But it’s all for nothing when he pours the water over your face again, the cold water stings violently at the back of your throat once again. He must’ve tipped the bucket with more precision this time, as you can’t help but force out the deep breath you were holding and in turn, choking violently on the water.

Your head feels fuzzy, your ears ringing and your throat tightening with each second that passes by with your own uncle waterboarding you. You feel your body surge upwards, the arch of your back painful yet nothing compared to the lack of oxygen that shocks pins and needles through your body.

The cloth is removed, as is the stream of water and you twist your body quickly. The men had allowed it, perhaps they saw the sickly sweat that stuck to your skin before you expelled whatever was left in your stomach. You had not eaten, nor drank, anything that came out was acidic enough to burn at your already torn throat.

“Filthy pig.” Your Uncle comments when you’re forced to lay back flat, you can hardly see him through the black spots that dance in your eyes. “How many sorcerers are under his control?”

You don’t even know if you can recall the number of people who worship Sukuna or work beside him. He had never disclosed that number to you, you didn’t know—so you shake your head, lips tingling and throat protesting when you try to voice the fact you truly had no idea.

Except, your uncle views it as a refusal to answer. “You’re as stubborn as your father. It’s what got him killed. If he just killed you when he was asked. We wouldn’t be here!” He snaps and the cloth covers the pain that flits across your face.

You don’t try to hold your breath this time, you try to relax your muscles but it’s all for nothing when the water comes. The hands holding the cloth to your face hold it more harshly to your skin, the cotton of the cloth digs into your flesh until everyone in the room can see your fruitless attempts of trying to gasp for air.

The back of your head painfully tingles, that darkness within you is utterly silent as you approach the cold hands of death. Water continues to pour over your face, drowning you with each passing second. If he doesn’t pull back soon, you were going to black out. Your brain was nothing but fuzz at this point, the ringing in your ears loud enough to drown out the snickers of the men holding you down.

“Perhaps that is enough, General.” A voice cuts through the ringing, Sugawara, you recognise that voice. The water is pulled away as is the cloth, and you can see the aforementioned man standing on the other side of the table across from the Shogun. “I was promised a bride. I will not have her brain damaged.”

The room bristles at the tone Sugawara takes with the Shogun. Your Uncle finally cracks his mask of indifference, a nasty snarl fitting of a maddened man. “You do not order me around, Michizane.”

“Of course not, my Lord. But if we are to have children, strong children, she has to be of sound mind.”

Only silence is the reply to Sugawara, the bucket smashing against the stone floor before the Shogun storms out of the cell with the men who had been holding you down. You gasp finally, your lungs painfully expanding in an attempt to suck up as much oxygen as possible—as if they might come back and finish the job.

Hands grab at your shoulders, and reflexively you flinch away at the touch. Sugawara appears in front of your face, eyebrows drawn together in what may just be faux concern. “Don’t fight me, I saved your life.”

His hands are hot against your skin, pulling and pushing you until you’re slumped onto the ground once again. Your vision swims with the motion, and Sugawara crouches in front of you again. “Rest.”

You can’t fight him on the need to sleep, and against your better judgment, you let your eyes roll closed.

...

Sometime later, you awoke. You could no longer feel the cold. The stone beneath you was as cold as ice itself, it bit at the soles of your feet and dug itself into your bones until they became too rigid to move lest they ache more.

Time had moved differently in the damp darkness of the cell, there was no sunlight, no changing of the guard to tell you if it was day or night.

Instead, you had only the darkness and the oil in a lamp that never seemed to run out. Or perhaps it did, you had patches of darkness in your mind. Corroded away from their attempts to drown, you had no recollection of the voices who taunted you but you could see their faces when you closed your eyes. The Shogun’s face at the front of them, he would be first to receive your anger.

You dreamt of them all in those moments of reprieve. You dreamt of what it would be like to sink your fingers into their flesh, to tear it apart with your bare hands and devour them whole. You wanted to know if they screamed just as loudly as they did in your dreams, or if they’d die silently. Dignified. You hoped not, you wouldn’t grant them the chance to go quietly. They’d suffer as you have.

Time had shifted once again, and your eyelids were barely open as you watched the dim glow of blue eyes just in front of you. Sugawara had been there consistently, never leaving even when he had to eat. Of course, he never gave you any of his own food, in fact, you haven't eaten a single thing since you left Sukuna. Your stomach had stopped aching a while ago, and now it feels like you were being eaten from the inside out.

Sugawara moves your arms carefully, as if he hadn’t been present when they started to take strips of your skin to see just how quickly you could heal even when restricted. It was fast enough to ensure you didn’t die from shock or blood loss, but the scars. The scars remained. Angry and puffy, a clear sign of their pleasure and your failure.

Something clicks around your neck, and that familiar burning at your wrists blossoms at the nape of your neck instead. You can only blink in mild surprise at the coldness of the metal he had snapped around your neck, the chain is just as long as the ones that had been at your wrists. You could move freely, if you had the strength to do so.

Instead, you remain still as Sugawara finally takes a step back from you. And you meet his gaze, his eyes are saturated with something like sadness perhaps. Did he finally regret not choking you to death just mere days ago? You hoped so. You hoped he died with regrets, you hoped he would return to this world as nothing but a curse. You wanted him to rot.

“Heal.” He commands, and you want to roll your eyes at him. Yet your eyes do not move, and he visibly flinches at what he must see stirring in your eyes. You can feel it preening beneath your skin at the reaction, that raging darkness that bares its teeth and flexes its claws. “Heal or you won’t live to see tomorrow.”

A threat that falls flat against your face, it does nothing to deter you from glaring at him with a look only Death could hope to muster. That darkness inside swirls once again and you feel the warmth before you can stop it, it blooms beneath your skin and pulses against the exposed bones. They’d long grown infected, the smell had bothered you at first but even that you had grown numb to.

Skin moves, nerves reconnect and bones slowly retreat into their fleshy homes. It’s a relief to be able to move your fingers once again, the ache there came with not moving for so long but they feel better. They no longer burn or feel hot, they no longer leak puss. But there was something more beneath that warmth that healed your skin, you could feel the slice of something you hadn’t felt in days.

Sugawara seems to realise it too, but he’s too late. You attack first, the shackle at your neck burns until you can feel the skin bubble and melt away but that doesn’t stop you. You throw your arm forward, your fingers splayed wide and the burst of energy that comes forth is gratifying, to say the least. It rumbles in the air, slicing without remorse.

It collides with Sugawara hard enough to throw him backwards, the metal bars of your enclosure vanish into small diced cubes. You only had a matter of seconds before those doors at the top of the stone stairs burst open with men determined to behead you before you could cause any more chaos.

You bring a hand up to the neck shackle, your fingers sinking into the small gap between skin and metal. It’s a tight fit, and you can feel the burn of the talisman inscription on the inside. It had been imbued at some point but it wasn’t enough to stop the resurgence of power. The twin shackles that were on your wrists must’ve been newer, more potent in their nullification.

The metal burns hotter when you begin to pour your energy into it, to overload it with both heat and a precise amount of energy that would slice through the shackle—and not your own neck. It bends beneath your fingers, melting away until the hot metal drips and dribbles down the front of the pathetic excuse of a kimono you had been put in during your blackouts.

Something slams into your front, and your head snaps back against the stone wall. An arm presses into the shackle at your throat, crushing both your fingers and your throat in one go. Sugawara snarls in your face, eyes wide enough that you can see the blood vessels have popped. His cursed energy buzzes around him, an electrifying feeling that you had felt amid a thunderstorm.

It pulses to life with every passing second, and it’s suffocating. It makes you gasp and choke against the pressure on your throat, your fingers pinned to the talisman scripture on the inside of the shackle become victim to that same heat.

You can feel the flesh melting into nothing but mangled stringy goop. It should be enough to make you stop, to concede and let whatever punishment is to come happen. But instead, you bare your teeth in return, and Sugawara visibly falters in front of you. Your teeth ache, and your gums burn something fierce.

“You have no idea what he’s doing to you…” Sugawara breathes the words, but they only serve to make you throw your weight at him once again. His feet shift on the floor, and the tension in the air makes the hairs on your arms stand on end. “He’s turning—”

He stops flat. And you grin.

Your fingers sink into the material of his kimono against his side, and his cursed energy crackles at the intrusion of your fingers. Teeth are sharpened beneath your skin, they widen their maw—wider and wider until they clamp down on something. You can taste the fabric of his kimono, you can feel the warmth of his blood pooling in your stomach.

Sugawara doesn’t breathe another word, his body thrown hard enough to the side that the wall concaves. His blood is warm against the palm of your hand, and when you glance down. You’re met with a wide mouth on your palm, with sharpened teeth—it holds a piece of flesh between its teeth, grinning at what it had taken from a man otherwise untouchable.

You’ve seen Sukuna’s second mouth in action, across his stomach, it was wide and impressive. This one is much smaller, and it’s not his teeth and lips that grin back at you. It’s your own. Those familiar teeth sink further into the flesh before it swallows the flesh whole, and it settles deep in your stomach.

It satisfies that hunger deep inside of you, that swirling darkness purrs in delight of finally getting what it wanted after so long. Something buzzes at the back of your mind, like a hand of black claws that caresses down the top of your spine. He felt it. He felt that explosion of cursed energy, his own cursed energy being used and manipulated.

Sukuna knew.

Your joy is short-lived, however. Sugawara launches forward from the rubble, and you recognise the glint of firelight on a steel blade anywhere. You can’t move out of the way, the shackle at your throat is partially melted away but it still holds you in place when his blade strikes true. It glides across your stomach, digging past the cloth in a clean line and it slices deeply, cleanly.

The blood pools warmly down your front, you bring the hand that previously housed the second mouth down to that opened wound. You wait for it to close, but it doesn’t—... It bleeds through your fingers, mixing with the blood of the blue-eyed Samurai until it is an uncomfortable thickening amount of blood.

Sugawara flicks the blade fluidly in an arc, your blood spraying across the floor. You finally glance at the blade itself, and the engraved words across the steel blade glow with a brightness you had seen from the man who had taken you down in the village. A cursed weapon. No doubt embedded with the same technique that was suppressing your cursed technique from the outside.

It had struck you, had tasted your blood and frayed your skin as if it was made of silk. It burns. Like your insides have been set alight by an unstoppable fire, hotter than anything you had ever felt. It was unlike the real flames that had doused you when you trained with Sukuna, this was a blinding type of fire. A fire that judged, a fire that burned away sins and darkness.

Doors suddenly explode open, a flood of men with their swords drawn but they halt when Sugawara holds up a hand in their direction. His body is hunched over, blood pouring from the open wound on his side.

“Tell the Shogun she can’t be reformed. She’s to be put in the disciplinary pit, and left there.” He commands, albeit breathlessly. His words sound wet even to himself, his tongue thick with blood and spit. He doesn’t have long until he passes out from the impact of being both bitten and having his Infinity shredded.

The men visibly hesitate, eyes darting between Sugawara who clutches his side with a growl and you, your eyes unfocused and dazed. You’d be struck with something life-ending, and now faced with your own mortality—you can’t feel a thing. Nothing but that incessant burning deep within your blood, ravaging its way up to your heart where it finds something much worse than the darkness of your mangled soul.

“NOW!” Sugawara barks, marching his way back towards you despite the wound on his side. He grabs the chain that was hoisting you up to the wall, the shackle digs further into the deep burns on your neck.

“You had a chance to live, and you threw it away like the foolish woman you are.” His words are hissed in your face before he pulls you harshly forward, and you’re forced to hunch over at the pain that spreads up from your gut. Blood soaks your arms, drips along the floor in a steady flow as you’re forced to follow behind Sugawara.

Men of the Zen’in clan and the Shogunate all have their blades drawn when you pass by, none strike at you but you have a feeling they know they won’t need to. Not when you were to be put in something known as the ‘disciplinary’ pit. Admittedly, you had never heard of it. It was never in any literature and it certainly wasn’t mentioned when you were brought here by your father as a child.

The walk isn’t nearly as long as it was to the Shogun’s quarters, but as you grow closer to whatever the pit may be. Your stomach churns, you can feel a thrum of cursed energy coming from within that doesn’t belong to anyone living. It’s the type of energy that smells of rot and decay, it grasps at your throat and chokes you.

Sugawara seems unperturbed by the fact he’s growing closer to what must be a multitude of cursed spirits, and you find yourself unable to fight him the closer you get to the pit. Your feet slide along the smooth stone, sliding in your own blood, if it weren’t for the chain at your neck—you would’ve fallen.

Another pull of the chain has you tugged forward until you’re in front of Sugawara, your front just mere inches away from his own. He sneers down at you along the length of his nose, those crystalline blue eyes alive with something you’ve come to recognise this far into life—hatred.

Slowly, he starts to take steps forward and in turn, you’re forced to step backwards with him. “May you go with peace, and honour.” He speaks plainly and without emotion. “You were not given an easy life, and I hope in the next one, you’re free.”

Sugawara plants a hand solidly against your chest, and the entire world shifts with the pressure. He falls away, or rather, it’s you who falls backwards. The air whooshes past your ears, drowning out the noise of your rushing blood and the undignified scream that comes from your throat.

You watch as Sugawara grows further and further away, the large doors closing behind him and with him goes the only light as you fall into an inky void of darkness.

...

“Izumi?” Yorozu calls out from the safety of her bedroom. Her attendant, Izumi, would typically come running at the sound of her voice but Yorozu finds that the woman hasn't so much as lit the hearth in the corner of her room. Immediately, her eyebrows draw together.

Normally, Yorozu wouldn’t care about the absence of her attendant. Izumi often got punished for Yorozu’s behaviour; namely the fact she refused to dress appropriately no matter the company. But something was off tonight. The Five Empty Generals had regrouped back at the base of operations, a large estate that belonged to the Fujiwara family.

Even the Sun, Stars and Moon squad had been called back in by the head of the family. Not entirely unheard of but certainly unusual, to have all of them in one place would mean unmeasured amounts of cursed energy concentrated in one spot—an easy way for cursed spirits, and much worse to find them without much effort.

Yorozu pouts at the lack of her attendant and pushes herself up from the futon. The haori she wears does nothing to hide her body, especially when she opts to keep it untied as she traverses the halls.

It’s silent. An unnatural silence that causes the hairs on her arms to rise, she can’t sense anything—no unusual amounts of cursed energy, and that should’ve been the first warning sign. Something was off. Terribly so. Her bare feet are silent on the tatami mat, carrying her further and further into the large estate.

All of them resided within one building, or rather, they all had living quarters here. Not many of them stayed here permanently, but Yorozu did. She had nowhere else to go, her life in Aizu was over and here she had proven her worth as someone strong. Someone worthy of being with the strongest.

So, to not sense any of the other members who made up the Five Empty Generals was off-putting. Yorozu knew they were here, and yet. She follows the usual path that leads out of the estate, the faintest throb of cursed energy coming from outside.

The grand entrance doors are slow to open to the outside world, the night sky shimmers with stars and the moon hides behind white clouds. Yorozu comes to a slow stop at the top of the steps that lead down to the sandy courtyard, the path of stones soaked in crimson red.

Her blood grows cold, her heart pattering against her ribcage uselessly. It was odd to feel this scared—it was unheard of for someone like Yorozu to feel something like fear. She didn’t feel fear when she fought the Five Empty Generals to gain her title, she didn’t feel fear when she stood in front of the Emperor when he gave his orders and she certainly didn’t feel fear when she wrapped her arms around Sukuna the first time she met him.

Crackling and popping has her head darting up, her eyes sharpening when she notices the pyre of brilliant flames burning near the bridge. A way of stopping her escape.

“Admiring my work?” A voice speaks directly behind her, the husk of it a deep rumble that not even a slumbering dragon could replicate. Yorozu knows not to move, and to not look over her shoulder at the one and only Sukuna Ryomen.

“The Fujiwara Family are so feared all over Japan. The stories of the Five Generals being strong enough to overpower even the Emperor—” Sukuna laughs low in his throat, a condescending noise. “How foolish. They hardly put up a fight.”

Yorozu remains frozen when a hand extends out from the darkness behind her, the large claws dripping with blood glinting in the shimmering moonlight. Sukuna merely gestures towards the fire in the distance before it grows brighter, more ferocious that even Yorozu can feel the heat from where she stands across the entrance courtyard.

The fire moves as if it had a life of its own, it slithers over the top of the sand like a snake would. It creeps closer and closer until it hits something, and then it starts to crawl upwards. Yorozu feels her lungs squeeze tightly, her lungs expelling any breath she may have been holding when the scene is revealed to her in a show of fire.

In front of her are four posts, all of them spread equally and each of them holds one man. Their bodies have been torn and shredded, yet kept together by organs and bones that were exposed to the firelight. Yorozu couldn’t see their faces, but the extravagant Kabuto helmets hiding their faces were enough to tell her who exactly had been tied to large wooden posts with their own innards.

The Five Empty Generals.

The fire continues to crawl up the wooden posts, burning across organs and stringy flesh. It’s enough to cause the pinned men to squirm and screams are muffled into their masks. A hand presses between Yorozu’s shoulder blades and she’s forced to take staggering steps down into the sand below. Her feet sink into the agglomerate mixture of blood and sand.

“I’ve always dreamed of taking on the strongest group of sorcerers in all of Japan.” Sukuna drawls as he takes heavy steps down the short stairs into the courtyard. “I always thought it’d be a special occasion, maybe they’d even be strong enough to kill me.”

Sukuna laughs deeply at his last comment, passing by Yorozu to take a stand in front of the four men hitched to posts. His upper body is entirely exposed, the starkness of his tattoos glimmer in the firelight and Yorozu can spy all the blood and body matter sprayed across his body. He doesn’t seem the least bothered by it, in fact, he seems to be enjoying it more than anything.

“It surprised me when I heard a mutt from Aizu challenged the Generals, appointed to be one of them to defend her home of Aizu.” Sukuna’s lips uptick at the mention of her home prefecture, and something like dread pools deeply in her stomach. “The village hardly stood a chance against Uraume. They said they all cried out for you, and yet you never came.”

“I didn’t care for them.” Yorozu brushes off, yet even she knows Sukuna can taste the tinge of guilt in the air.

“No?” Sukuna grins, and there’s a heavy thud of something in the sand. Yorozu doesn’t want to look down, she doesn’t— “You didn’t care for the woman who stood by your side since you were born?”

“No.” Her voice wobbles against her own will and like the beast that he is, Sukuna latches onto it.

“Look at what your carelessness has caused.” He smiles through the words, and yet Yorozu holds his gaze. Fire like the one behind him sets his eyes ablaze. “LOOK!”

His yell rips through the air, Yorozu visibly flinches at the sound of it and her eyes snap down to what had been thrown at her feet. Izumi’s lifeless eyes stare back at her, her head severed from her body and mouth agape in a permanent silent scream.

Her stomach churns painfully, Izumi may have been the victim of Yorozu’s lack of decorum but she had been there, always. She was the one Yorozu cried to in the face of rejection, and she was there to lift the brunette back up.

“She was nothing to me.”

“You’ve always been a terrible liar.” Sukuna snickers to himself, head tilting to the side when Yorozu meets his gaze. “It’s why you would’ve made a terrible lover of mine.”

Yorozu bristles at his words, and the spike in her cursed energy has Sukuna raising an eyebrow in amusement. “You’re wrong.”

“Oh?” His upper arms cross lazily over the broadness of his chest, whilst the other two rest loosely at his hips.

“I never would’ve fallen for such an obvious trap, only a foolish whore—”

The world falls away, the moonlight painting itself across Yorozu’s face. Sukuna looms over her, fangs bared in a snarl befitting of the King of Curses. One hand remains wrapped around her throat, squeezing tight enough to turn her lips a blueish-purple.

“Utter one more word and you will die here.” The red of his eyes visibly shook beneath the weight of his anger, it was clear he had been reigning it in as best he could since he woke up alone in that temple of his. “I’ll find great pleasure in ripping you apart, slowly, piece by piece until you beg for me to kill you.”

“Do it.” Yorozu hisses through paling lips, her hand fruitlessly clawing at the hand at her throat. Sukuna snarls louder, the growl that rumbles through his chest enough to shake even the ground beneath them.

Then the growling stops, and he grins. All teeth and malice. “No. You’re going to be a welcome home gift for my wife.”

With a quick pull on her neck, her body follows his momentum until her head collides with the floor beneath her and her eyes roll into the back of her head.

…Sukuna stands from Yorozu’s now still body, his eyes darting to the side to see Uraume approaching to take Yorozu as discussed.

“Chain her to a post in the courtyard, by the tree. Keep her on the brink of death.” Sukuna instructs Uraume who then picks up Yorozu without much of a struggle, they bow as best they can with someone in tow before vanishing in a flurry of snowflakes and a gust of wind.

“I was wondering when you’d show yourself instead of cowering with your tail between your legs.” Sukuna remained staring at the space once occupied by Yorozu and Uraume, the air had become denser; heavier with cursed energy and yet they never came forth when Sukuna had leapt onto Yorozu.

“We didn’t want to interrupt.” A male calls out from somewhere behind Sukuna. He turns slowly, his feet digging into the bloodied sand beneath him. When he turns around, he’s met with multiple sets of eyes all turned to look at him. Sun-Moon-Stars, a fractured unit of assassins after you had wiped one from the slate of existence and another was eaten by Yuki Onna.

“More the merrier. Maybe it would’ve been fun to fight you all together.” Sukuna couldn’t help but lean into the fact he knew he was the strongest here, it was too easy to intimidate them with his cursed energy. He knew they weren’t quick to spook at the sight of the gore and horror show he made whilst waiting for Yorozu to crawl from hiding in her bedroom.

Sukuna’s ears perk up at the sound of multiple feet landing in the vicinity, ah, they brought out their lesser ranks in hopes of taking him down for good. The grin comes automatically to his face, all four eyes alight with pure unbridled joy—the prospect of fighting had been reduced to just training in the past few months, he may have enjoyed sparring with you but this… the chance to rip someone's life away was much more invigorating.

“It was rather cowardly of you to trick someone into their capture. Did you know you’d lose in a fight against her? Against me?”

Much to Sukuna’s surprise, one of the silhouetted figures laughs. “Perhaps. But we can’t be blamed for how stupid she was. We just took advantage of it.”

His blood boils beneath his skin, all four of his arms moving to flex his hands at his sides. The blood had long dried and cracked on his skin, the warmth radiating from him was hot enough to rival the still-burning pyre in the courtyard. Stupidity. They knew nothing of the word, evidently, as they stood before Sukuna in all his glory.

Muscles flex with each breath he draws in, the claws at his hands ache with the need to sink into human flesh and the prickle of his cursed energy in the palm of his hands yearns for more. And he will give it more.

Before any of them could move a muscle, Sukuna vanishes from the spot he’s in. He can taste the sudden spike of their own cursed energy, the fear that comes with being a mortal human tastes better than any meal he had ever feasted on. Immediately, he zones in on each and every single cursed signature in the area.

Twelve of them.

He laughs at that. Not enough.

With an outstretched hand, he palms the hand of the first face he comes in contact with. The masked man widens his eyes at the sudden appearance of Sukuna, the man with all four of his eyes wide and a manic laugh bursting from his throat. Oh, this was going to be fun.

Skin bends beneath long claws, “Hah!” Sukuna exclaims as it was too late for the man to react. His body explodes into a bloody red mist, spraying into the sand below. He takes the next move in stride, his body swinging around on one heel and his foot collides head-on with a man who had dared to run at him.

The assassin’s body is sent flying into the trees dotted around the estate, the crack and splat of skin enough of a sign for Sukuna that they did not survive the hit or the fall.

“Come on! You’ll never win coming at me one at a time!” Sukuna grins, the tongue at his stomach lolling out as that too grins at the tangible fear in the air. Two more rush at him, and he once again vanishes from the spot in a cloud of disturbed sand.

With two hands linked together over his head, Sukuna brings his entire weight back down onto the men beneath him. Flesh and bone are nothing in comparison to that of a chaotic disaster, blood explodes around him—a reminder that humans are nothing but sacks of blood. So pathetic…

The ground shatters beneath his feet, his hands that were cupped together splay out on the ground and the men approaching him are thrown into the air when the ground beneath them is upended. Something tingles at the back of his mind, and Sukuna almost startles at the sensation.

Oh.

Time comes to a halt. Grains of sand float in the air, suspended in time and the men before him have no chance to correct their mistake. Most of them remain in the air, the others perched on the roof of the estate are midway through drawing their weapons.

Humans are just as foolish as they are brave.

Standing to his full height once again, Sukuna draws two hands together at his stomach in a hand sign to strengthen his technique. A binding vow he’s certain to inform you of when you return to him, he can’t have you losing another fight. The other two arms straighten out in front of him, energy bubbling at the tips of his fingers—with a final grin, Sukuna leans into the cursed energy he had come to know so intimately.

To use such a huge amount of cursed energy was something like a phenomenon, a moment in time where nothing quite feels right. As if the world scales tilt in the wrong direction, and it is Sukuna who holds that scale in his hand when he throws just a mere fraction of his strength forward.

The men who had been held in place by familiar cursed energy are sliced into nothing but meagre strips of their former selves. A mist of blood that sprays momentarily only to be swept away in the same breath. Cleave and Dismantle work in tandem, one slices and one cuts. Two entirely different things when it comes to Sukuna’s technique.

It’s absolute silence that follows the death of the men in front of him, before the area explodes. Debris from the estate is thrown into the air, shredded and turned into rubble before Sukuna has even released his next breath. The estate and all of the land before him is razed to the ground, and the bodies of those who may have been inside are nonexistent as are the ones outside.

Sukuna stands alone once again, not so much as a scratch or a mere touch against his body from those who had come to fight him. Disappointment didn’t fill him however at the lacklustre fight, if anything, he was too distracted by that tingle at the back of his mind.

He turns on his feet, facing towards the south. He felt something, at the moment of being allowed access to your cursed energy once again. He felt his own energy explode somewhere, hundreds of miles away but he felt it.

And now he knew where you were. Alive and fighting.

Sukuna spares no glance towards the destruction and abolishment of the Five Empty Generals as well as the Sun-Moon-Stars squad, they would go down in history as being a failed attempt on Sukuna’s life.

A single step is taken before he vanishes from the spot he was in, whoever was holding you captive was surely to suffer the consequences of daring to lay a hand against what is his.

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#dead dove do not eat #cw gore #cw dark content #cw violence #tw cannibalism #sukuna x reader #sukuna x you #jjk x reader

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ironspiderfics · 9 months

Text

hush little spider

by @iron--spider for @whimsicalethnographies

Tony dreams of clouds.

No, a bubble. A bubble that’s wispy and purple and green and he’s inside it and he’s floating and it’s hard to breathe. The world outside warps and they can’t hear him. He’s high above New York and he’s a spectacle but they still can’t hear him.

He opens his eyes just the slightest bit and sees Pepper already dressed. He groans, and she laughs in that breathy way that she does and she leans over and kisses his cheek.

“No,” he grunts, still half-asleep. “Nope. Canceled. It’s canceled, I’m canceling it.”

“I’ll be back tonight,” she laughs, kissing the corner of his mouth this time.

“Pete’s still here, right?” Tony asks, struggling to keep one eye open.

“Yeah,” Pepper says, stuffing a few things in her purse. “He and Ned—actually fell asleep in the lower lab, something I’ve never seen anybody else do—ever—how strange…”

Tony snorts, closing his eye again. “Only the occasional…similarity…”

He hears her zipping her purse, and she kisses his cheek again. “Sleep in—sleep in for once in your life.”

He turns his face into the pillow. “We’ll see,” he says, not anticipating sleeping any later than seven or eight, because the only times he does that are when he’s nearly been killed or some shit. Maimed beyond repair. Worrying about Rhodey so much he passes out, recovering from watching Spider-Man nearly die, things like that—

But sleep is already dragging him back down again, as if it wants him, as if it’ll let him stay a while.

And he dreams again. Dreams about almost losing his left arm, and his dream morphs reality and his false worries together like bad patchwork—arm, no arm, iron arm, half an arm, iron man, no arm, arm—he sees himself in bed he sees himself hobbling around he sees the line of suitors outside his door, all the people he knew loved him, all the ones he thought didn’t, everyone ready to start over with no qualms no teams no past mistakes, and he can hear his own voice strung up like Christmas lights saying it wasn’t just me. It wasn’t. But they’re here for him. They’re here to thank him. Here to comfort him.

His dream is a flipbook of that time—things that happened twisted with things that didn’t, the kid saying he wasn’t going on that Europe trip and Tony’s secret relief, Pepper scaling the side of the newly acquired tower, which was re-acquired but definitely not scaled, at least not by her—Happy starting to date May, yes, and Tony sees an array of dates he never saw but some he heard about, and the twenty-two or so pizzas feels fake, too.

His dreams are wacky sometimes—most of the time—and this feels like a play, almost, and he’s the only audience member, and he feels like something shuts down—

And there is a stage. Shakespeare in the Park, and he’s standing in the rows of hard chairs and Peter is on the stage alone.

“Pete?” Tony calls to him. “You okay?”

“I’m playing Hamlet,” Peter says, and he’s wearing a top hat.

“You’re not supposed to say that in a theater,” Tony says, even though they’re not really in a theater, because he can see the sky. The stars. There’s grass under his feet.

Is that right? Hamlet? Not allowed? Is it him that’s not allowed? Dreams are wrong. Dreams are facts that aren’t facts.

He hears something shutting down. The wind stops and all the trees go still.

“Did you hear that?” Tony asks, glancing up at Peter again.

Like a computer shutting down the wrong way. He heard it plenty of times in college, in his many impatient moments.

It sounds like it’s everywhere. In his ear canals.

“Pete, did you hear that?” Tony asks, starting to walk down the middle aisle.

Peter looks at him, and shakes his head, and he’s standing under a spotlight now. “I don’t hear anything,” he whispers.

Tony startles awake, and the air feels stale.

He can tell the power’s off immediately.

He says Friday.

Except he doesn’t say it.

He looks around, eyes narrowed. The room is dark, the blackout shades still enabled, and he says Friday again, except he doesn’t say it.

He sits up in bed, his heart hammering. He rubs his throat a little bit, and tries to clear it. He can hear that, and he does it a few more times, and then he says Friday, but still, he doesn’t say it, the word doesn’t come out, his mouth moves and he shakes his head and tries to enunciate but still, no word, just silence.

He sucks in a couple frustrated breaths, and he pulls himself over to the bedside table and picks up his phone.

It’s dead. He tries to turn it on again and it’s dead and it’s fucking plugged in, and still, dead, and he unplugs it and tries to turn it back on, two, three, four times, and then he’s tossing it onto the bed and leaning back against the pillows.

He stares off. He feels insane. Maybe he’s still dreaming.

He pinches his arm and puts that to bed, and his heart starts speeding up again.

He closes his eyes. Tries to calm down.

He says Friday.

But he doesn’t. He doesn’t say it.

His voice is gone.

He can’t fucking talk, the power is out and his phone is dead.

And he’s not sick—he wasn’t screaming, there’s no reason for it—

This is an attack. It has to be.

He runs his hands over his face, heaving a sigh, trying to—catalog things in his head.

Why did this happen who did it is he still here what’s been compromised how did he do it is he more than one person and if so how many can they turn on backup power without their voices can they get out of the building easily or are they trapped who is inside right now who stays here overnight who was still working who could have—

Shit. He says it, but he doesn’t say it, because…because.

How the fuck—

Peter is here. Peter and Ned.

Tony wants to curse and shout but he gets out of bed and moves for the closet.

Peter wakes up to someone hitting him. He narrows his eyes and sits up from his very uncomfortable sleeping position on the workbench, and Ned is hitting him and hitting him and hitting him.

It’s dark in here, he can barely see, what is going on—

Peter says hey but the word doesn’t come out, and Ned hits him and hits him and hits him again. He’s not hitting him with any real force but he’s like a very panicked butterfly, and Peter tries to say his name but that word doesn’t come out either.

He clears his throat but before he knows it, Ned is grabbing his chin.

Ned’s mouth is moving very fast, but he’s not making any words either. He points to his own mouth and then Peter’s mouth and he shakes his head. He lets go of Peter and walks over to the desk and picks up both of their phones, holds them up and wiggles them around, and puts them down again. He points to the computers and the workstations and makes an X with his arms, and Peter stares at him.

Peter tries to say Ned but nothing comes out of his mouth but air.

Ned glares at him. He points up at the ceiling and he covers his eyes, and he does that three times. It feels like a really weird game of charades.

No lights. No power. Phones off too…

A little bit of fear creeps into Peter’s gut, and he sucks in a breath. He tries to say hello hello, but it doesn’t work, and Ned throws his arms up and they hit his legs.

Peter does it back at him.

They stare at each other in the darkness.

This is bad. Tony is here somewhere and Pepper could be too—and a bunch of other people probably—

He needs Tony’s help, Tony can figure this out, they can figure it out together—whatever it is—

Peter swallows hard and puts his fingers together to mime writing with a pencil. Ned just stares at him, and Peter widens his eyes and does it again, with more dramatic flair, and he starts searching through the desk. He doesn’t know the last time he’s seen Tony actually write anything down.

Ned is still just standing there and staring at him, so Peter huffs a sigh and slams his arms down on the desk and makes a very exaggerated scene of pretending to write, and Ned sort of goes oh without saying it, because—they can’t, for some reason—and he starts to help him look through the drawers.

Ned nudges Peter with his elbow. Peter nudges him back, and they’re sort of pushing back and forth for a second like they’re five years old at the watercolor table and not two adults in a situation.

Who the hell could do this? What is going on? How could someone steal their voices?

They look for five minutes before they find a stash of paper and a few pencils in the desk by the wall. The dark is starting to hurt Peter’s eyes, and Ned snatches a piece of paper out of his hand, and Peter scoffs and throws the second pencil at him.

They both hurriedly write out their messages.

Peter holds his up.

WE NEED TO FIND TONY AND WE NEED TO SEE IF WE CAN GET OUT OF THE BUILDING AND WE NEED TO SEE IF THE TECHNOLOGY SITUATION IS AFFECTING MY SUIT THE ONLY ONE I HAVE HERE IS THE NEW SCARLET SPIDER ONE TONY AND I WERE WORKING ON AND IT’S IN THE LAB ON LEVEL 14 SO WE ALSO HAVE TO CHECK OUT THE ELEVATOR SITUATION AND SEE WHAT IS GOING ON FROM THERE AND THE LIVING QUARTERS ARE ON LEVEL 42 SO WE ARE REALLY IN A SITUATION AND WE HAVE TO BE CAREFUL WHEN WE LEAVE THIS ROOM BECAUSE ANYTHING COULD BE OUT THERE SO JUST STAY BEHIND ME

Ned stands there and squints and reads the whole thing. He steps a little closer and finally finishes, nodding, and he swallows hard.

He holds up his paper.

so this could be aliens

Tony doesn’t like not being able to use his voice. His voice is his greatest weapon, and one he uses often, in every situation, whether he’s quipping at a giant purple asshole trying to bring the world to its knees or bargaining with Pepper about the need for cookie dough ice cream.

And he keeps forgetting he can’t use it, and he keeps almost yelling out as he surveys the halls—empty, mostly, up here, because he guesses the kid stayed down in the lab all night with his buddy. Rhodey is supposed to show up tomorrow, and Happy might have been out of the tower already before whatever the hell happened…happened…and Natasha is in Chicago with Clint and his family and Thor is still off-world and Steve is in Brooklyn for that anniversary thing—Barnes and Wilson might be here, somewhere, maybe. They’re here sometimes. Tony really needs to get better at keeping up with who’s here and when. He knows Friday knows, but Friday is out of commission, and whatever the hell is going on with his voice is keeping him from resetting her and the system.

Purposeful. Smart. Too smart.

He arrives at the main stairwell and sees—it’s caved the fuck in. Like a controlled explosion, and he can’t go down or up, and he peers over what’s left of the railing and sees a few of the other stairwells look the same.

Who the hell is blowing shit up in here and he didn’t hear it? How would he not hear that?

He wants to say shit and he tries but he fucking can’t and he rushes over and hits the wall next to the elevator instead. Not even hard enough to make a dent, and he sighs and presses the button a bunch of times. He knows it won’t work, but he does it anyway.

And then the whole building groans, like the unmistakable sound of a wounded Titanic slowly sinking, and Tony stands still, eyes cutting around manically.

He has a horrible thought that they’re trying to bring the building down, whoever the hell ‘they’ are, but why all the theatrics? Why the shit with his voice? Is that happening to everyone? Is that happening to Peter?

Tony sets his jaw, the thought of the kid bringing things back into focus, and the metallic moaning and groaning stops.

No matter what’s going on, there are innocent people in this building, and Peter is one of them. Tony has to start making his way down, and maybe he can find a suit he can activate manually. Maybe this tech crash didn’t affect his suits, but he won’t know until he finds one, and they’re down where Peter is. Slim chance, but it’s something to shoot for.

He feels like he can hear footsteps. On this floor, on others, and it’s underlined in the silence, in the lack of screaming for help.

He’s gotta get to the back stairwell and see if that’s intact, and he swallows hard and heads that way. He weaves around, and he feels like he’s thinking more now that he can’t talk out loud—

—gotta find the kid gotta see if we can get out cover the exits try to make contact with anybody else on the team might be here gotta find the manual overrides that don’t require voice activation and that’s probably zero considering my paranoia and there has to be backdoors for that to get around it and what if we’re stuck in the building because we probably are because who would go to all this trouble just to let us walk right out and thank God Pepper isn’t here that’s one less thing to worry about and if only Rhodey was a day early even though I don’t want him trapped in here either and Jesus who else is in here, it’s a weekend, who’d be staying, Jesus, gotta get to Peter, and Ned, Ned’s here too, can’t talk, can’t talk, it must be everyone—

—and this atrium is filled with sunshine from the long line of windows, and Tony jogs over there to see if—to see if—

He tries to say that’s not a cloud out loud but, of course, he can’t, just tiny newborn kitten mouth movements, and he huffs at himself and rolls his eyes and he’s seconds from a tantrum that he hope they’ll watch and laugh at on the cameras three days from now oh wait the cameras are fucking off—

—but either goddamn way the tower is surrounded by something greenish purplish nebulous…like they’re inside someone’s chemistry experiment—

This time, when he tries to say shit he tries to say it with such force that he gets out the rush of breath that would start the ‘s’, if not anything else.

So he races towards the back stairwell hissing and shushing over and over to himself like an angry librarian or an oncoming train.

Ned runs out of paper.

And Peter doesn’t know how the hell he did that—well he sort of does, because he’s been wasting the paper on dumb stuff, like worrying about aliens, and sure, that’s a completely normal worry, but how many times is he gonna write it? And then waste the paper? He’s gone back to pick up paper he’s dramatically thrown to the ground like eight times. As if they’re walking around in some post-apocalyptic wasteland and not Stark Tower.

Ned is tugging on Peter’s arm for more paper, and Peter turns around and holds up one finger at him. Ned shrugs at him and Peter feels like they’re not making any progress at all—they saw the screwed up staircases, and they could maybe get around those, maybe, and they saw the weird shit outside the windows which makes him think this is some magic spell or something—well, obviously, you can’t just steal people’s voices with a special remote—but he’s gotta see—he’s gotta see if he can get outside.

And he’s having crazy ideas about how to—do that.

If they just would have figured out how to teleport like in Star Trek then they wouldn’t be having this problem at all.

Peter sighs and then he sees one of the classrooms Tony carved out for team meetings, once he re-acquired the tower, and he has an idea. He points at the classroom to Ned, ignores his immediate defensiveness, and he heads over there.

Ned grabs onto his shoulder, and maybe Ned is missing the sound of his voice. Peter has to remember that Ned isn’t exactly used to situations like this, and he pats his hand, but then he turns around and indicates that he’s gonna knock down the door.

It only takes one hit, and the door slams to the ground, and Peter sees the whiteboard on the wall that he remembers Tony writing on, and Sam snickering at.

And within a minute or two, he’s ripped off two relatively equal squares of it, and found two dry erase markers. And when Ned catches on, they make two paperclip necklaces and hang the boards around their necks.

Ned immediately writes on his.

SO SMART PETER

Peter draws a big smiley face with a bunch of teeth. And then he writes.

THANKS. OKAY NOW I GOTTA TRY TO JUMP OUT THE WINDOW.

Ned’s face falls.

The building makes more noises, and Tony tries to determine if he thinks it’s actually moving. He hears banging, more footsteps, and he chalks that up to other people trying to get around, and he can’t count how many times he tries to yell out like a moron only to be met with more silence. He’s running down the stairs as fast as he can, his thoughts almost painting themselves outside of his head, in big bold read letters hanging in the air—

And he’s breathing hard and he feels like he’s hearing things by floor 35 and is he hearing—laughter? Who’s laughing? He can’t laugh, so he’s assuming—who would be laughing in this scenario except the person who caused it?

Here somewhere, in the shadows, lying in wait—

And the laughter seems to echo, and it sounds like it’s getting closer, and more intense, like this person laughing is everywhere and right next to him all at once—

And normally Tony would be shouting obscenities and trying to pump himself up with long soliloquies but he can’t do that, he can only breathe, and panic, and he thinks about the kid somewhere in this building, voiceless and in danger—

And he nearly trips on the landing to floor 34 and someone catches him—

And he pushes this person away and his heart is in his throat, beating and beating and choking him, and he doesn’t have a suit and he immediately drops into a defensive stance, one fist cocked by his face and the other outstretched, and Rhodey smacks his hand down and huffs at him.

Tony stares. So many words are on the tip of his tongue, held back by brick walls, and Rhodey huffs again and gives him a little smile and Tony grabs onto his arms. Rhodey grabs Tony’s too, and for a second they’re—jumping? Up and down? And they realize they’re doing it immediately and they stop and then Tony pulls him into a hug.

He rolls his eyes at himself, his face burning, but hey, Rhodey was doing it too.

They pull back, and Tony pats Rhodey’s shoulders. He points at him, throws his hands up, as if asking when the hell did you get here. Rhodey narrows his eyes at him, waves his hands through the air, backwards, as if trying to convey—who the fuck knows.

Tony still can’t believe he’s in front of him, and they need to get somewhere with more light. He points down, tries to tug him forward, but Rhodey shakes his head. He gets close to Tony’s face, and mouths words. If it was anybody else, Tony wouldn’t be able to interpret it, but it’s him, so he can.

CANNOT GET OUT OF BUILDING. TRAPPED.

Tony nods—he figured as much—but he tugs on Rhodey’s wrist anyway. He mimes shooting a web, does an exaggerated version of Peter’s swinging, and points down again. Realization dawns on Rhodey’s face, and he points down with raised eyebrows, and Tony points down too. Rhodey nods at him, and he starts down the stairs, linking his arm through Tony’s.

The silence doesn’t feel as heavy, with him here.

And they try to pass little messages back and forth, through hand gestures and lip reading, and Tony finds out that Rhodey put a couple people from payroll in a safe room on the 20th floor, barring the door that Friday would normally seal. The front and back exits are completely blocked, and one guy from marketing tried to get through and was unceremoniously bounced back inside by some unknown force. Rhodey’s been hearing the laughter too, and the building groaning, and he’s seen the shit outside the window. He thinks someone is here, waiting to pounce, or maybe more than one someone—

And they walk down to the 18th floor landing and Peter’s body is splayed out against the door in a mess of blood.

Ned underlines his NO. He makes it bolder. He shoves it in Peter’s face.

Peter sighs. He holds up his message again.

IF I CAN GET OUT I CAN CRAWL UP THE BUILDING—

Ned rubs away Peter’s message with his hand. Peter sighs, and Ned writes underneath his NO.

YOU KNOW THERE’S PURPLEGREEN JELLY OUT THERE OR WHATEVER THAT IS AND IT CAN EAT YOU AND ABSORB YOU MAYBE. AND IF YOU DO GET OUT UR LEAVING ME HERE.

Peter sighs again. He misses his voice, he misses both of their voices. He takes a few steps away from Ned, braces his board on the wall, and writes what he hopes is the kicker.

If I get out, I can climb down, and I will probably get my voice back, and I can connect to Friday from one of the remote facilities down the street, and I can turn her back on in the building, and then Tony will take over and save everybody and everything and find the bad guy inside. And I’ll come back and help!!!!!!

Ned reads it. He squints at it, and he does that every time, and it makes Peter think he needs glasses. He hasn’t ever watched him read this much.

Ned sighs.

Ned sighs pointedly.

Peter nods at him and hopes that’s the end of it, and they already discussed where he would go if this worked the way it’s supposed to, and it probably will, so he sighs again and hangs Peter’s board around his neck too, and grips both markers in his hands.

Peter hugs him, fast and tight, trying to soothe him and give himself some sort of confidence too, and he knows he can’t waffle around for too long—so he doesn’t make eye contact with Ned again, and he rushes towards the window, heading for it with his right shoulder.

And he bursts through—and he’s blasted through plenty of windows in his life so he’s not exactly surprised he’s able to do it—and there’s glass everywhere and he shields his face and maybe he should have thought this through a little more but the tower is hard to traverse right now to find shit, and he barely has any time to even breathe the outside air or perceive the weird gelatinous cloud before some otherworldly force is launching him back inside.

It’s like he’s in the palm of someone’s giant hand, and he can feel his voice on the other side of that purplegreen cloud, he can feel it, and it dies away as soon as he collapses back onto the floor at Ned’s feet.

Ned’s forgotten he can’t talk. His mouth is moving rapid fire, and he bends down in front of Peter and keeps not talking and Peter just stares at him, flabbergasted. Peter has cuts from the glass all over him, and the wind is whipping around through the newly created hole, and he feels like he can hear the purplegreen cloud. Wobbling and squishing.

He covers Ned’s mouth with his hand, still staring out the window, and it seems to jolt Ned back into their current situation. He quickly takes off Peter’s board, puts it back around Peter’s neck, and he shoves the marker into Peter’s hand. Then he takes off his own and starts writing on it.

OKAY it says, in shaky hand NOW I’M FOR SURE ABOUT ALIENS

Tony feels like he’s doused in ice, frozen in his tracks, unable to breathe. And he can’t talk and if he could talk he doesn’t know if he would be screaming and shouting or just like this—aghast, horrified, and he nearly trips down the stairs trying to get to him—

Even in the darkness Peter doesn’t look like he’s breathing—

And Tony drops to his knees beside him and—

He’s gone.

Peter disappears.

Tony stares at the empty spot, and the silence is so loud that he can hear his heart stuttering and speeding up, and he runs his hands over the spot where he was the spot the empty spot what the fuck what the fuck—

He hears Rhodey coming down behind him, and he hauls him to his feet. Tony’s heart is still beating a mile a minute and his eyes are starry but not in the good way, and he wants to say something he wants to say something, and that’s when he hears the laughter.

OH TONY a voice says, a fucking voice, and it’s everywhere and nowhere all at once, and Tony has a hard time not falling back against Rhodey completely. HOW WOULD YOU FEEL IF THAT ACTUALLY HAPPENED? WELL THAT’S WHAT I’M HERE FOR, TONY. MAYBE IT WILL. MAYBE I’LL TAKE RHODEY TOO. AND ALL YOUR LITTLE FRIENDS IN THE BUILDING. AND YOU WON’T BE ABLE TO HELP AND YOU WON’T BE ABLE TO SCREAM OR CRY OR ANYTHING. AND THEN I’LL KILL YOU, TONY. YOU’LL BE LAST.

He recognizes the voice, and it laughs and laughs and the laughter fades and seems to dissipate in the air.

It sounds familiar—

But he feels like he can’t fucking breathe anymore. And they haven’t found Peter yet, and Tony keeps imagining him dead, and it feels more dire than it did—

And he shoves forward, doesn’t look at the place where Peter’s body was, or whatever the hell—

And Rhodey follows him out of the stairwell. Tony stumbles into the main atrium of whatever the hell floor they’re on now—and it looks like Stark offices from the brief look he gets before he bends over and braces his hands on his knees.

He tries to breathe. Rhodey rubs his back and sighs a couple times and this is feeling more and more sadistic. Who the hell is this guy? How did he do this? Tony can still hear the laughter, even though it’s silent again.

Silent, until he hears a banging.

It’s not the typical bad noises he’s been hearing since this shit started, and he straightens up and looks at Rhodey. Rhodey nods, and he hears it too, and he motions towards—the railing, where they can look down and see the other floors. It’s like that, from the 38th floor down to the main lobby, and he rushes over, Rhodey on his heels.

He tries to hold himself back, because it could be this asshole tricking him—but the banging keeps on and gets more manic.

They very slowly peer over the edge of the railing.

Peter and Ned leap into the air when they see them.

And they’re wearing tinfoil hats on their heads.

Peter can’t believe it. He can’t believe it’s him. He just so happened to be looking up right at the right time to see Tony run out and he thought he might be going crazy but then he saw Rhodey and it’s them it’s actually them, and he and Ned jump and clap and Tony looks at him like he’s never seen him before. Peter’s hands hurt from banging on the wall to get their attention, but it’s worth it.

The building starts to make those noises again, moaning and groaning like it’s structurally unsound, but Peter doesn’t trust it, because if it was actually collapsing, or moving somewhere at its base, he’d be able to feel it.

Peter points at Tony. Left stairwell? They were going up the right one. That’s so crazy. He forgets he’s got a board around his neck.

Tony holds up both hands as if to say STOP STAY THERE and then he’s out of sight before Peter can respond. With…whatever response he would have had. Rhodey races after him, and Peter blows out a breath and turns around and looks at Ned.

He grimaces. He saw Tony and instantly forgot about the hats they made a couple minutes ago when they found the tin foil. Ned is so concerned with aliens and now they look stupid.

Peter snatches it off of Ned’s head, and then his own, and Ned’s mouth falls open in betrayal. Peter puts them on the ground and quickly writes out a message on his board.

LISTEN I’VE DEALT WITH ALIENS BEFORE AND THOSE WEREN’T GONNA WORK ANYWAY.

Ned stares at him, and then calmly claws away part of his message.

Peter sighs, and then the stairwell door slams open.

He turns around and Tony is striding towards him.

And Peter always wants to feel capable and he’s pretty confident he is, but he always feels safer when Tony’s around. Like he can…really figure things out. Like he won’t get hurt, because Tony won’t let him.

And Tony wraps him up in a hug that Peter melts into, closing his eyes. Tony holds him tight, squeezing his shoulder, and Peter just lives in it for a second. Tony pulls back but keeps a hold of him, and Peter sees Rhodey and Ned sharing a little moment behind him.

Tony pats the board around Peter’s neck, nodding. Peter nods too, and he takes out the marker to write something, but Tony gently takes it out of his hand. He writes on the board, and turns it around for Peter to see. His letters are blocky and messy, and so very him.

You alright?

Peter nods at him. He points at him, raises his eyebrows, and Tony nods too. Tony immediately clocks the few cuts Peter sustained in the window incident, and he thumbs over one on Peter’s forehead.

Peter shrugs.

IT’S FINE he writes. I TRIED TO JUMP OUT THE WINDOW BUT IT BLEW ME BACK.

Tony narrows his eyes. He keeps one hand on Peter’s shoulder and knocks Rhodey on the arm, and they have a couple seconds of silent facial communication the likes of which Peter has never seen. Ned knocks Peter on the arm, and looks at him like he wants to replicate it, but he just wags his eyebrows at Peter and Peter has no clue what he wants to say.

Peter looks across the atrium at the weird cloud through the window. He wonders how far it goes up in the sky—it can’t be too far, it’s probably just…a little taller than the building. Maybe.

Would it cover it completely, like a bubble? Or is there an opening at the top, the roof exposed to open air because nobody’s up there? Is it worth checking out?

Anything is. Anything that might end this.

Now he’s thinking…

Ned sighs at Peter, and Peter pats Tony’s shoulder. Tony turns towards him again, and somehow he feels even more fatherly in this moment, dipping his head down to give Peter his undivided attention, stepping a little closer and gripping his shoulder. He was clearly worried, and Peter never really wants to worry him, but it feels…nice. Something crazy and insane is happening and Tony Stark is worried about him. He should be used to it by now, after all these years and everything they’ve been through, but he’s not. He doesn’t know if he ever will be.

Peter tries to focus, starts to write.

Is it even worth it to try and get our suits? I know yours wouldn’t work, because they’re all tech, but would mine? Probably not, right? We need to get Ned to a safe place because I have an idea

And the tail of his ‘a’ is drawn out when the four of them are swept into the air.

And Tony doesn’t realize it’s a fucking mini tornado inside the tower until he’s inside it, and it’s huge and big and picking up everything all around them too—chairs and computers and long tables, and one of the tables knocks Rhodey and Ned completely away from them. They’re spinning and being thrown around and Tony can barely see—like there’s suddenly Saharan dust in here—and he grabs onto Peter’s ankle before he can be tossed away from him too.

And for a minute it’s loud rushing, flying through the air, and what feels like a fucking phone hits him in the head and he sees stars, and he lets go of Peter—

And he wants to yell out but he can’t, he’s still silent, and he has no idea what the fuck is going on here or who is doing this or how, and he can see other people and faces and bodies and they’re all contorted in the same silent scream, and before he knows it Peter is flying at him and they’re both hitting a pillar—

And Peter is smashed against him and Tony can tell he’s sticking to the wall, making it so they don’t get thrown around anymore—

And he’s gritting his teeth and the forces of the fucking tornado are so strong that he can barely lift his arm, but he does, trying to shield the kid’s head—

And then it all falls, abruptly, everything drops everywhere in loud crashes and bangs, and he can hear windows breaking and other shit breaking but still no voices.

And then there’s the laughter.

Tony grabs onto Peter and Peter grabs him, hauling him to his feet. Tony feels dizzy and off-kilter from how many blows he took, and the laughter is moving in and out like a warped Led Zeppelin song, and it almost hurts his ears.

TONY TONY TONY the same voice as earlier says, as Peter grabs onto Tony’s arm and hauls him over to the railing. I’M COMING FOR YOU TONY AND EVERYONE YOU LOVE—YOU SHOULD BE HAPPY LITTLE WIFEY ISN’T HERE, BUT WE’VE GOT THE BEST FRIEND AND THE LOVE CHILD, HUH? WHICH ONE FIRST? OR SHOULD IT BE YOU? THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU STEAL SOMEONE’S WORK, TONY…SOMEONE LIKE ME, I’M NOT GOING TO BE…RATIONAL…

Peter is breathing hard, panicking, looking all around. They’re a lot higher up now, and Tony can see other people on the lower levels—he looks up, and it seems like there’s only one level above them, so they should be on the 37th floor now. Jesus.

The laughter starts again, and it gets so loud that it’s almost ear-piercing, and Tony holds one of his ears and one of Peter’s, out of instinct, he doesn’t know—

And then he sees Ned, a few floors down, at the edge of the railing. He pats Peter’s arm, and points, and Peter nearly wilts in relief. And before Tony can start worrying about Rhodey, he sees him rush over to the edge, two floors above Ned.

They all see each other at the same time.

And it takes a few minutes of rabid communication, wincing, and hand gestures, because neither Ned or Peter have their boards anymore, but they’re able to get Rhodey to start heading to where Ned is. And Tony is able to convey—something, to the other people who see him. Everyone is panicking, but they’re somehow soothed by his presence—something he’ll never understand, but something he takes very seriously.

Jesus, he has to help them—

The laughter eventually tapers off and dies out, and the sinking ship sounds resume. Tony and Peter back up from the ledge, holding onto each other, and Peter pats Tony’s shoulder to get his attention. Tony is distracted by the new cuts, and the blood in the kid’s hair, and he hates himself for getting Peter into situations like this. If he didn’t know him, he wouldn’t be here right now, he wouldn’t have to deal with this.

But a world in which he doesn’t know him…well, Tony doesn’t want that either.

Peter points up. He raises his arm, and keeps pointing, as if to indicate all the way up.

Tony mouths roof and Peter nods at him. He obviously has an idea, they were starting to discuss it before the bullshit, and he knows the suits they have here are way below them, and most likely out of the picture now. Probably wouldn’t have activated, anyway. No voices, no tech. Tony nods at him again, trying to imagine what he might be thinking, and they start to head up there.

And Tony thinks about that voice. That laugh. The things he said.

Peter worries.

He worries that his plan is stupid, and it’s barely even a plan, it’s barely even an idea, and it might not even pan out if the purplegreen cloud is covering the whole building. They’re too far away from where their suits are now, and they could try to go down there but the suits probably wouldn’t work anyways. Tony’s is entirely tech, and Peter’s is voice activated. Everything is voice activated.

They grab a couple things from the living quarters when they get there—Peter asks for a Friday com, for his haphazard plan, and he nearly jumps for joy when they find a pair of webshooters in his bedroom that he’d forgotten were there. He practices, and they work, because they’re tech but they aren’t tech tech. But they don’t have a lot of webs loaded in, and he can’t find more and isn’t in the right place to make them, so he has to be careful. But the webshooters will make it a lot easier than trying to climb up the antenna and jump over the cloud without anything to help him.

And they get some more paper and pens.

I think this guy is this jerk I fired a couple years back Tony writes, after they get some water and grapes from the fridge. He was insane then and he’s clearly insane now. But more insane. End of the world stealing voices and trying to murder people insane. Earlier he showed me a projection of your dead body and he could do shit like that back then, the tornado, the voice throwing…I’m not even sure if the main stairwell is actually destroyed, he could be faking that with projection too. Everything but the magical aspects feel like him. But we’ve got a lot of magical assholes on our tails and he could be hooking up with them to get at me.

Peter reads it, drinking his water, and he nods, sighing once he’s drained the bottle. He leans over and writes underneath it, his letters small and close together so he has lots of space.

MY PLAN IS TO GO UP TO THE ROOF AND HOPEFULLY THE CLOUD DOESN’T COMPLETELY COVER THE BUILDING AND I CAN LAUNCH MYSELF OUTSIDE IT AND THEN SPEAK AGAIN AND CONNECT TO FRIDAY WITH THE COM AND RESET THE BUILDING AND SET OFF SAFEGUARDS TO START FIGHTING BACK. AND IF THE CLOUD COVERS THE BUILDING THEN I HAVE NO PLAN BUT I HAVE A FEELING IT DOESN’T BECAUSE HE CLEARLY THINKS HE’S GOTTEN RID OF EVERYTHING THAT COULD GET US UP THAT HIGH YOU KNOW?

He’s a little worried, watching Tony read, and worry feels where he lives right now. And Tony does straighten up when he’s done, giving Peter a look. There’s layers behind it—fear, uncertainty, worry, wanting to help, but he nods anyway, even though he looks like he doesn’t want to.

Peter smiles, softly, trying to be reassuring, but probably coming off as childish and stupid, and he sighs and leans over and writes again.

HE USED MY DEAD BODY TO UPSET YOU?

Tony reads, and makes a face at him, widening his eyes and grimacing. He nods, holding that expression. Peter mimes saying awww, and Tony scoffs, gently pushing his face away from him. Peter laughs, and draws a heart on the paper, and Tony snatches the pen and crosses the heart out with an X. But Peter is grinning anyway.

It feels good, not to…feel bad. If only for a moment.

And they head back up after that, with pens and paper and water bottles, Peter’s webshooters on his wrists. They have to keep changing stairwells, because of obstacles and shit this guy’s put in their way, and a few of them are solid and real, and a few of them are illusions, projected to confuse and reroute them. Peter decides to web up the elevator shaft for a while, holding a very irritated Tony along with him.

They climb out at floor 90, Peter peeling the doors open. He helps Tony to his feet, and the doors slam closed behind them once they’re all the way out.

Tony blows out a breath, and he claps Peter on the shoulder and bends his head down a bit to look at him. That look is asking if he’s alright, and Peter nods, and Tony nods back at him, already knowing he wants to ask too.

Peter gestures backwards, angrily, at everything, and he puts his hands together as if he’s choking someone and shaking them back and forth.

Tony points at his own chest, raising his eyebrows.

Peter brushes him off, mouths no, and he points behind them, meaning THAT GUY, and he gestures all over and throws punches and pretends to knee someone in the stomach and pretends like he’s choking and he rolls his eyes back.

Tony stares at him for a second, and then he grins, shaking his head. He throws up his middle finger, shakes his fist in the air, and they keep silently threatening as they walk.

They head for the stairs and Peter worries. He worries about Ned, about his half-baked plan, about his non-existent back-up plan, about May and MJ hearing about this and seeing what’s going on, and he’s worrying as they step into the stairwell to climb the final three flights for roof access.

He’s worrying when he gets shot in the shoulder.

And Tony drags Peter to his feet and they’re running, they’re running up the stairs, and he doesn’t feel like he’s moved this much outside of the suit since the fucking Mandarin situation—and the sound of whatever invisible force it is following them and shooting at them is undeniably a fucking drone. Probably two, from the buzzing.

Very clearly a Beck production—

And Tony holds onto Peter, and they keep running, and they zig-zag as much as they can in the narrow stairwell, and Tony hears ricochets and blasts inches from his head and he gets one in the back of the leg that takes him down—

And Peter pulls him up again, and Tony sees him turn around and fire a bunch of webs, and one of the drones, still invisible, slams against the wall, trapped.

They keep running, and there’s one left, and they can’t fucking see it, and they keep running and Tony is fucking hopping, and before he knows it Peter is hauling him behind a pillar.

And the shooting stops.

And Tony can still hear the drone, can hear it buzzing and ticking and searching for them, and Peter has his eyes closed.

And before Tony knows it, Peter is leaping out from behind the pillar, and Tony sees him grasp his hands together and slam down into open air. But it isn’t open air, and the drone becomes visible and crashes down to the ground, spitting out sparks.

Tony breathes hard through his mouth, and Peter stumbles back towards him, and grabs his arm again. Tony nods at him, trying to convey a good job, and Peter blows out a breath and shakes his head.

And they stagger up one more set of stairs and bust out onto the roof.

And—

The kid was right.

They can see it right away.

The purplegreen cloud is surrounding the building, and it goes up to just under the antenna. And that’s where it stops. Clear blue sky.

An opening.

It looks easy. He’s seen Peter do harder things. But Tony stands there, frozen, staring up at where the cloud ends while Peter drags over one of the random cement blocks up here and braces it against the door.

Tony tries to say his name, but he can’t. He still can’t, despite how close they are to the edge of the thing.

And Peter puts the com in his ear, ready to connect to Friday when he can.

And why the hell didn’t they take their phones with them maybe Tony could have hacked into them if he put his mind to it and why wasn’t he thinking properly and forming his own plans and why didn’t he just go back down and get a suit and make it like he made it in Afghanistan they could have withstood more of Beck’s bullshit if he just put his goddamn mind to it and—

Peter blows out a breath, and takes a step forward, shaking his arms like he’s trying to get loose. Then he aims one webshooter—

Tony grabs Peter’s arm, his heart in his throat. He feels insane, was the kid about to just go, just do it—

Peter turns around and looks at him. And they can’t say anything, even though there’s a million things to say, and Tony can never stand letting him go if he can’t go with him, because what if it goes wrong, what if he doesn’t come back—

And they’ve been trying to convey a million things without words since this started, and he just looks at Peter and tries to say it all with his face—I restarted the world because I couldn’t live in it without you so you better come back—and he cocks his head a little bit and really looks at him and his eyes hurt—

And Peter rushes into a hug, a big one, and Tony clings to him and cradles the back of his head and hates this whole goddamn thing. Then Peter pulls back, nodding at him, tears shining in his eyes—

And he steps forward, away from him, and shoots a web before Tony can say anything else—

“Well, look at him go,” a voice says.

That voice.

Tony spins around, and the man he knew was behind this is standing there. Right fucking behind him, Quentin Beck, in some goddamn jumpsuit, grinning from ear to ear.

He punches Tony square in the face, a move that Tony would have parried or dodged if he hadn’t been so fucking shocked to see the guy standing there when nobody was there a moment before, and Beck hits him again off the shock of the first hit—

And the pain bursts—

“God, you were always slow, Tony,” Beck says, and Tony is able to dodge the next one he throws, which makes the asshole laugh. “Oh, there he is! There he is! A little fight left in him—”

And Peter swings, latching onto the antenna and launching himself over the tippy top of the cloud, and the heel of his foot bumps it and that buoys him further up into the air, and he shoots another web and swings around outside of the spell, away from the building—

And he can feel his voice in his throat, building up, ready to be used again—

“FRIDAY!” he screams, shrill and childlike, but he doesn’t care. “FRIDAY, RESET YOURSELF IN THE TOWER ON ALL LEVELS! REBOOT THE TOWER. CAN YOU HEAR ME?”

And he swings around, in a curved arc, and he can see—

There’s a man, a man there with Tony on the roof, and they’re fighting, hand to hand—

And suddenly there’s so many of him, everywhere, the same man, all over the roof, and they’re all attacking Tony, and Tony falls to the ground—

And Peter can’t—Friday hasn’t yet—he can’t breathe he can’t think it feels like time is slowing to a halt—

“Resetting,” Friday says, in Peter’s ear, “and responding to an attack, Peter, do you need assistance?”

“Tony needs assistance on the roof!” Peter screams, and he shoots three more webs and swings around, and the cloud is still up but the tower comes to life inside of it, an energy blasting up and creating ripples, but the cloud doesn’t go away yet, not completely—

And all the multiples of the man disappear until there’s just one—

—and Peter sees him stab Tony in the stomach.

“No!” Peter screams, his heart in his throat, and he starts swinging back that way, dipping and weaving in the air, and he can hardly see through his tears. “Tony, Tony! No!”

And he reaches out to shoot another web, but nothing comes out—

He’s out—

No more webs—

“Shit!” Peter yells, plummeting, and he swings his arms and tries to get closer to the building so he can stick and the cloud is still rippling and breaking in pieces and if he hits it just right he won’t be bounced back—

Tony Tony Tony—

And before he knows it something is crashing into him, and closing him up inside it—

An Iron Man suit—

And it comes to life quickly, the heads up display bright and shining, connecting to two other suits currently on the grid—and he’s not falling anymore—

“Tony?” Peter yells. He tries to get acclimated, quickly changing his trajectory and heading back up to the roof. He’s only been in an Iron Man suit like, twice, and the first time was an accident. “Tony? Tony? Friday is he—Friday, where’s—”

And just as Peter takes off, the purplegreen cloud explodes, and it knocks Peter backwards, catapulting him back onto the roof of a building a couple blocks over. He hits the wall so hard—

And Peter dreams of clouds.

Dreams? Dreams? Is he dreaming?

Purplegreen—black—stars—voices—

“Peter?”

Beeping. Wind.

“Peter. I am flying you back to the tower.”

His eyes are shut. Flying?

“Peter. The spell has been broken. Doctor Stephen Strange was locked in the lowest level of the tower by the perpetrator, former Stark Employee Quentin Beck. As soon as you reactivated me countermeasures were taken, and Doctor Strange was able to find—”

“He took—down the spell?” Peter asks. He hasn’t opened his eyes yet. He’s flying. He doesn’t wanna see, his brain isn’t working.

“Yes, and—”

“No specifics,” Peter says, and he finally opens his eyes. He’s heading for the roof—the roof, the roof— “Brain hurts—Friday, Tony, is Tony—is Tony—”

“Mr. Stark is alright, save for a concussion and a blast wound on his leg,” Friday says, and Peter doesn’t understand, he saw—he saw that guy stab him—

And he’s heading for a landing, and he sees—Tony, and Rhodey, and Happy, and Ned is there too, and they’ve got this guy on the ground with his hands cuffed behind his back. Rhodey is suited up, and Tony’s nanosuit trickles away, forming a watch on his wrist.

Peter lands, and the suit opens to let him out, and he tumbles like Han Solo out of carbonite in Return of the Jedi.

Tony catches him. “Whoa whoa whoa,” he says, trying to gather him up. “There he is, took long enough—buddy, bud, hey, you okay?”

His voice his voice—

“He stabbed you,” Peter breathes, trying to get his feet solidly under him. “He stabbed, I saw—I saw it—”

“See, he fell for it,” Beck says, laughing from his spot on the ground. “I knew he would. I knew it, didn’t I say? Tony!”

“We need to gag him,” Tony says, pointing over in his direction. “He took my voice, I’ll take his, it’s only fair—Pete, I’m fine, hey—” Tony helps him stand up straighter, and geeze, he must have hit the wall really hard, even in the suit—he feels like jelly. “It was another one of his shitty tricks—when you turned Friday back on she started launching our countermeasures, we’ve got plans for magic too, she’s just gotta be on—Beck kidnapped Strange, took this shit out of one of his spell books or whatever the hell—well, Strange just—Friday helped Strange get out of the building without getting bounced back and he just—said his little spiel—”

“Okay,” Peter breathes, nodding. “I get it. I get it.” He holds onto Tony’s arm with one hand, and points over at Beck with the other. “You’re a dickhead.”

“You’re a dickhead,” Beck says, “and now I know who you are, Spidey Widey. Know your whole little identity and everything, what are you gonna do about that?”

“Rhodey, Hap, get him the hell out of here,” Tony says, waving them away.

“Yeah!” Ned says, as the two of them haul Beck to his feet and start him towards the roof door. “Yeah, what are you—I mean, you’re getting out of here, idiot, you’re—you don’t even know what’s coming—”

And Peter watches as Ned actually follows them out, letting the door close behind them, still in the middle of his tirade.

“I’m fine Ned!” Peter yells. “Thanks for asking!”

“He’s just trying to play coy,” Tony says. “He’s been worried as hell—took you about ten minutes to get back, he was asking where you were every minute or so—”

Peter nods. “Yeah—but what are we gonna do about Beck, you know, uh—knowing—knowing me?” he asks, looking at Tony, already worrying about May and MJ—and Ned, who Beck clearly knows personally…

“It’s fine,” Tony says, shaking his head. “He’s done. He’s a terrorist now, like, by definition—he’s lucky nobody died, but attempted murder is on there, and there were absolutely…multiple attempts—”

Peter nods again, trying to focus. He remembers the stabbing clear as anything, and he’s never felt so far away and so close at the same time. Too far to help, swinging through the air like a moron, but close enough to see the look on Tony’s face.

It was too real.

Peter sighs, and feels dizzy again remembering it, and he straightens up and pulls Tony into a hug. Tony sounds surprised, laughing a little bit, and then he starts rubbing Peter’s back.

“Are you okay?” Peter asks, closing his eyes.

“I’m okay, buddy, he didn’t stab me. All good, stab-less. What about you, huh? You okay? Savior of the tower, the one voice that rose up when the others were silenced—”

Peter snorts, squeezing him for a long moment before he pulls back. “I’m okay,” he says, tentatively.

“We gotta get Helen to look at you—she’s coming, she’s on her way. May too, and MJ, they were at the coffee shop across the street—they noticed the cloud before the news did. And they knew something was wrong when they didn’t get their morning Peter texts.”

Peter shakes his head, glancing back, just to…make sure the cloud is still gone.

And it is. Clear skies.

He looks at Tony. “Maybe we’re a little bit too reliant on technology.”

Tony wraps his arm around Peter’s shoulders. “You think? I don’t know, I don’t think it’s…unhealthy—”

“Our entire world was just completely upended because everything needs voice commands,” Peter says, as they gingerly, half-limp to the roof access door.

“Listen, Strange’s ancient text also needed a voice command to break the spell,” Tony says, holding the door open and following Peter inside. “What’s that mean, huh? That’s caveman shit, and yet—”

“Well, he should—keep his spell books, uh—more protected, I guess—”

“That too,” Tony says. “Though I guess the kidnapping and being left in the basement is his punishment. Come on, Pete, we gotta go—get taken care of, gotta talk to the goddamn reporters, call Pep, start the cleanup, take inventory, make sure everyone’s alright—you’re alright, right? You’re alright?”

“I’m alright,” Peter says, the last couple hours’ events feeling very strange and fake, even though they were very very real. He needs to decompress badly. But how do you decompress from someone stealing your voice and locking you in a tower with a magical spell and trying to kill you?

Just another day for Spider-Man and Iron Man, Peter guesses.

That’s a sentence that would have blown his eight year old self’s mind.

“Careful on the stairs here,” Tony says, trying to help guide him down, “feel like both of us probably have stair trauma for the rest of our lives—”

“Oh, I’m either swinging or using the elevator in the tower for at least a couple weeks,” Peter says, smiling back at him.

Tony snorts. “Noted. Okay, tell me a story, tell me your thought process throughout this whole ordeal, tell me your…next steps, ideas…just wanna hear you talk, buddy, that was way too long of a Peter Parker silence.”

And Peter’s face goes red, because that feels like one of the nicest things anyone has ever said to him, really, especially since his bad guys tell him so often how annoying his voice is.

Well, Tony Stark doesn’t think so, how about that?

And his main thought, when he realized what was going on, was that he had to find Tony, because they could figure it out together. Tony can do anything, no matter what, and he makes Peter feel like…he can do anything too.

“Okay, well,” Peter says, clearing his throat as they keep heading for the 90th floor, where the elevator is. “I don’t even know where to start.”

“Start at the beginning,” Tony says. “When you woke up in the lab like a young Tony Stark might have…or an old one, couple days ago, either or—”

Peter smiles to himself. It is so nice to be able to talk again. He doesn’t think he’s ever gonna stop talking. It’s just nice that Tony actually wants to hear it.

So he keeps talking. “Okay, well, right away I wake up to Ned hitting me. And he’s immediately concerned about aliens…”

#irondad #iron dad #peter parker #tony stark #iron man #spider-man #works by iron_spider #irondad fic #iron dad fic #marvel fic #based on the buffy episode Hush

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arcanusarchieves-if · 2 months

Note

Can you share a snippet of your writing please? It doesn't have to be from the game but I'm just a bit curious!

Sure! Here's a (very short and completely unedited) flashback scene that I wrote that didn't end up making the final cut. It takes place back when MC was at school so it has a few characters that you won't recognize!

It begins with pain and ends with darkness.

You came back into reality just as you had left it (“Well not exactly as you had left it” the ache in your bones reminds you softly), unsure and exhausted, with the light blinding your unopened eyes. The urge to open them briefly crosses your mind but the thought of having to put actual energy towards anything quickly turned that desire into nothing more than a passing thought.

“You still alive, mate? I don’t have a eulogy written up quite yet so if you could hold out just a bit longer I’d really appreciate it.”

Alistair’s teasing words fall over you like a soothing balm, the familiar sound of his voice sinking into your skin like a long-lost friend. It was admittedly an overdramatic thought if not a ridiculous one - most of the time you and the rest of your friends couldn’t get him to shut the hell up. Still, there was something comforting about the fact that he stayed despite…everything (“despite you” says someone that sounds very much like yourself).

“It happened again, didn’t it?”

A beat passes after your words. Then another one. And one soon after that. Eventually though…

“…yeah, it did. It wasn’t that bad this time though. Nothing got destroyed - nothing that can’t be replaced, that is.”

So you didn’t hurt anyone. That’s always a bonus. Still there were some lingering questions.

“…where’d we end up?”

Another beat, then another voice. Soft and Uncertain. Fearful but Unwaveringly Fond.

“Not too far from the academy, thank the lord. Erm we’ll still need to use a teleportation spell though. One of us can do it for you if you’re not up to it.”

The thought of casting any magicae after what just happened was a (“terrifying” the voice mocks) miserable thought. Still you give a swift shake of your head, forcing your eyes open as you do so. The blue of the sky meets your gaze but a quick series of blinks reveals it to just be Lena's eyes - you knew if you turned to the other side you’d meet the familiar green of Alistair’s. You push yourself up pretending it isn’t odd to think about your friends’ eyes with such intensity.

Lena offers you a shaky but not uncertain (and never ever fearful) hand, and with strength that you’re surprised you still have, you take it gratefully, pulling yourself to your feet - stretching out aching bones and wobbly knees. Alistair grins at you from where he sits nearby, his expression a mix of relief and amusement.

"Welcome back to the land of the living," he says, reaching out to clap you on the shoulder. "Or whatever passes for it, considering the circumstances."

You scoff and then snort. A lurking shadow in the background catches your eye and something like amusement and annoyance stumbles into your bones and out of your lips. Some would call it a laugh. You’d call it an experienced reaction to the person in front of you.

“What, you're not happy to see me? Here I am, spending my very precious time making sure you don’t destroy anything during one of your little fits, and you go ahead and laugh at me. Honestly, where’s the appreciation I deserve?”

Caspian’s voice is arrogant. It’s snarky. It’s even cruel in some ways. But it’s also so loyal. So fond. (“Of you” a voice says softly. It’s the same one as before but it’s also so so different).

You try to think of a witty response but eventually give up, deciding to focus your energy on leaning against Lena for support, the memories of the recent blackout begin to flood back. It was a close call this time, with your magicae threatening to spiral out of control once again. The fear of causing irreversible damage always looms over you like a dark cloud, but having your friends by your side eases the burden, if only slightly. (“But how long can this really last?” the thing you're trying to ignore asks).

#writing snippet #scene #flashback #answered #anon ask #ask #author: oracle #character: mc #ro: Caspain #arcanus archives #Arcanus

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hbyrde36 · 2 months

Text

Times Like These (The Anniversary Edition)

CH 1 CH 2 Ch 3 Ch 4 Ch5

Chapter 6: Four Chimes

WC: 7910 | AO3 link

It was nearing midnight by the time Nancy and Mike got back to Steve’s house, where everyone was still anxiously waiting up for their return.

They would have been back sooner but, as Nancy explained, they had stopped home first on the off chance that Jonathan had tried to reach her there and left a message or anything like that.

He hadn’t.

After that unfortunately unsurprising discovery, the siblings snuck out again to make their way back to the others, only to be passed on the road by an ambulance, fire truck, and a police car, all with sirens blaring and lights flashing.

They tracked the procession to Benny’s, watching from a safe distance as the long abandoned burger place was cordoned off with caution tape. Not long after the Hawkins P.D. and Co arrived, a blackout SUV pulled up to the scene and a woman Nancy thought she recognized from her time being detained at Hawkins lab stepped out of it.

After watching a body bag get rolled out on a stretcher, she and Mike figured it was time to get out of there before someone noticed them, and raced all the way back to Loch Nora.

“It's gotta be Patrick,” Dustin said when Nancy was finished. “He’s the only other previous victim unaccounted for.”

“And Benny’s is the team’s usual hangout spot.” Lucas added.

“What do you think that woman was doing there?” Robin asked.

Erica sneered. “Trying to cover it up.”

“Should we…” Eddie trailed off, biting at his bottom lip. “I dunno, this is their fault isn’t it? Should we maybe be going to them for help or something?”

“Absolutely not.” Several of them said in unison, including Steve, and Eddie quickly raised his hands in surrender to the experts.

“When’s the last time you tried to call California?” Nancy asked.

Dustin scoffed. “Don’t you think if they went back home from the airport they would have called us by now?”

Eddie tilted his head in agreement, while Steve threw the kid a grateful look.

“I did actually try to call a few times when you and Mike didn’t come back on time, but it was always the same, a busy signal.” Steve admitted.

Robin wrinkled her nose. “That sounds… ominous.”

“So that means either they left the phone off the hook, or…” Mike began, but neither he or anyone else bothered to follow that thread. It didn’t seem likely to lead anywhere good.

“What are we going to do now? We can’t just keep waiting around for an answer to magically present itself. Not with three of our party in danger.” Dustin said, gesturing generally in the directions of Max, Steve, and Chrissy. “What if the music stops working?”

“We’ll figure something out Dusty-bun, we always do.” Robin said, reaching out to roughly ruffle his hair.

He shrugged her off, undeterred. “And what about Will, El, and Jonathan? What if it’s him, what if Vecna got them somehow?”

“Look, Dustin, we’re all worried, alright?” Steve paused, dragging one hand down his face. He looked tired and drawn. “It’s late, everyone is exhausted and we’re no good for anything like this. Let's just try and get some sleep and see what we can come up with in the morning, ok?”

The sound of protest from the kids was deafening. Even Max who so rarely took part in any of the group discussions seemed appalled at the idea of sleeping at a time like this.

But surprisingly, Nancy agreed with Steve.

“No guys, he’s right. We-” She paused, her bottom lip wobbling almost imperceptibly. “There's nothing we can do about any of it right now.”

Suddenly Eddie felt a little bit like an asshole, because until that exact moment he’d briefly forgotten that Nancy and Jonathan were together. It had to add another level to whatever else she was feeling right now.

It usually would have been enough to get the others in line, the two older and most seasoned members of the group—the new adults essentially with Joyce so far away now—agreeing on a course of action, but still they argued.

Nancy looked on the verge of tears, a startling thing to witness from someone who was usually so stoic in these situations, and Steve was clearly at his wits end, already rubbing his temples as if warding off an oncoming headache.

Eddie surveyed the scene and figured maybe it was time to step in and put some of his DM skills to use.

“Shut up!” He shouted as he hopped up onto the coffee table, praying it would hold his weight. Though, him crashing through the furniture might provide the same level of distraction.

The kids immediately fell silent—Mike, Dustin, Lucas, and Erica, out of habit, and Max because she was usually quiet anyway.

“Okay kiddies, you heard your mother—and Nancy. Bed, now. We’re all in need of a long rest to properly replenish. No arguments! Or you can say goodbye to any magical items your characters collected over the last campaign. Better yet, maybe I'll make you all create brand new characters. Who wants to relive the glory days of being a level one rogue, or a level two mage?”

Max cracked a smile, as did Steve—his eyes sparkling with amusement as he watched Eddie’s antics. Chrissy and Robin hid their snorts of laughter behind their hands and there was a collective groan from the rest of the peanut gallery followed by blessed silence.

Eddie hopped down off his makeshift soapbox with a flourish. “That’s what I thought.”

As everyone made their way to where they’d be sleeping for the next few hours, he and Steve lagged behind, making sure that all the doors and windows were closed and locked, for whatever good it would do them.

When they did finally head up the stairs themselves and into the hall, Steve stopped short, catching Eddie’s eye as the sound of stifled giggles trickled out of the room Chrissy and Robin were sharing.

“Sounds like they’re getting along well.” Eddie said softly.

Steve grinned. “You know it’s funny, Robin is usually so nervous around… uh, people. It’s nice to see her making a friend.”

Eddie pretended not to notice the hesitation. He could appreciate Steve not wanting to out Robin without her permission, even when it was someone he knew was safe.

“I think it’s nice for Chrissy too.”

After so many nights in a row, getting ready for bed with Steve was becoming surprisingly comfortable and routine. Each of them taking a turn in the bathroom to shower, change, or do whatever else they needed to before going to sleep.

Except that tonight, for the first time, Steve left the door wide open while he washed his face and began to brush his teeth. Eddie wasn't sure what to make of it. It felt like a test of some kind… or maybe an invitation?

Did Steve want to share the small space with him?

He could, it was just sharing a sink. Friends could do that, right?

It wasn’t a big deal, though something about it felt like a level of closeness that Eddie'd never had with someone else before, and as dumb, and as simple a thing as it was, if that was something that was allowed—he wanted it.

Eddie took a chance and ventured in, not looking at Steve as he took up his own toothbrush out of the holder. The tube of toothpaste was on the far side of the vanity and without Eddie even having to ask Steve passed it to him, catching his eye in the mirror, and smiling a little around his own toothbrush.

Steve finished before he did, their shoulders brushing lightly as he bent down to rinse and spit. After drying his face Steve looked at him one last time through the mirror before slipping past to go out into the bedroom, sliding a hand along Eddie's back on the way as if he'd needed to steady himself. Eddie shivered, his skin breaking out in goosebumps at the intimate, almost familiar touch.

As they settled into bed, Eddie had the dangerous thought that he could get used to all this—this cute domestic shit, and falling asleep next to Steve night after night. If they made it out of this thing alive it would be hard to go back to normal. Though it would be nice to see Uncle Wayne again, and the rest of his friends.

A muffled cry startled him out of his thoughts and his half-asleep state.

He opened his eyes, not really remembering when he’d closed them, and found Steve with his face pressed into his pillow, body trembling with the effort to hold his sobs inside.

“Hey,” Eddie crooned, sliding his arms around the other boy and pulling him in against his side. Steve went willingly, resting his head on Eddie’s chest, one arm thrown over his waist.

“What’s going on in that pretty little head of yours, Stevie?” Eddie gently stroked a hand through Steve’s hair and waited patiently for him to decide if he wanted to talk.

“I’m sorry. I swear I’m not usually like this," Steve said eventually, groaning into Eddie’s shirt.

Eddie believed it. He had a feeling Steve didn’t let himself break down very often, even in private—even when he had more than earned the right to do so. He felt honored to be someone Steve felt safe letting go in front of, and it was a privilege to be allowed to offer him comfort.

“No apologies needed, sweetheart.”

"It's just… I feel so useless this time. Usually there’s something to hit, some physical threat I can protect everyone from with my bat or my body, but—this thing? I don’t know what to do, I don’t know where I fit. I can’t protect anyone from this, and I’m fucking terrified. I’ve seen what Vecna does, and I don’t want any of you to have to go through that.”

Steve finally looked up, wet eyes glistening in the dim light. “I’m so glad you knew to get Max started on the music before she had to–”

Eddie squeezed, tightening the hold he had on Steve with one hand while still raking fingernails lightly over his scalp with the other.

Steve settled more heavily on top of him.

“And I can’t stop thinking about the Byers, and El. Not that Jonathan and I are the best of friends or anything, but none of that matters now. What if Dustin is right and Vecna got them? It has to be related, doesn't it? They were right there at the airport. I’ve been driving myself crazy trying to think—I mean, what could have kept them from getting on that plane?”

It was the million dollar question, and Eddie didn’t have any more answers than anyone else, but there was one thing he had to make absolutely sure Steve knew.

“It's not your job to protect everyone y’know, or at least, not your job alone. Not anymore.”

Only a few short hours later Eddie found himself awake again, a warm weight resting on his chest, his own fingers still tangled in Steve’s soft hair.

Cracking one eye open he realized Steve was awake too, and watching him intently from the same spot he’d been before they fell asleep.

“You get any rest?” Eddie mumbled.

Steve jolted a little in surprise. “Some,” he said. Then, perhaps realizing that he’d been staring, stuttered out another unnecessary apology.

“Sorry, you just… I mean, you look… peaceful, when you sleep. It’s, uh, cute.” A dark red blush began to spread from the base of Steve’s neck all the way to the top of his ears.

Eddie huffed a laugh. That was… hmm. This couldn't be what it looked like, could it? There had to be some sort of heterosexual explanation for it.

“You—are clearly delirious. I think maybe you should try and get some more shut-eye.”

“Yeah, you’re probably right." Steve said through a yawn, rubbing the sleep from his eyes. “But the kids will be up soon and I really don’t want them getting impatient and trying to sneak off to do something stupid without us.”

Of course, Steve was right.

It was barely 7am, they’d all had less than 6 hours of sleep, and every child in the house was awake, and they were loud. Technically everyone in the house was awake, it was just that the younger teen’s raised voices at the early hour were particularly grating. Eddie thought teenagers were supposed to sleep in. Apparently not true for this bunch.

The TV in the living room was tuned to the local news, and everyone was watching over the top of their cereal bowls as the anchor spoke of another murder victim having been found. The police were not naming names, still waiting to notify the victim’s family, not that it mattered. Maybe it was wrong to not want to know the name of the person who had essentially taken Chrissy’s place, but to Eddie—to all of them, it just meant that Vecna now had 3 out of 4 kills under his belt, and their time to act was rapidly running out.

As she so often did, Nancy took charge.

“I thought about it a lot last night, and I think our only choice is to follow through with the original plan without the others. A version of it anyway.”

“The plan that’s failed three times now? The plan that’s gotten Eddie killed and who fucking knows what else?!” Dustin shouted.

“I know! Alright? I know, but with some minor adjustments, I really think it could work.” Nancy said.

Eddie looked to Steve across the room and found the other boy’s eyes were already on him, a question swirling in their depths.

He wanted to know what Eddie thought, if he was in. With nothing but a meaningful stare Steve communicated loud and clear that he would take Eddie’s lead. If he didn’t want to do this, then Steve would back him up.

He didn’t, for the record. The last thing he wanted to do was the same fucking thing they’d been doing—the literal definition of insanity—but he didn’t have any better ideas, and the clock was ticking.

He gave Steve a sad smile and a shallow nod before turning to Nancy.

“What minor adjustments did you have in mind, Wheeler?”

Eddie regretted agreeing almost the second they started hammering out the details.

The crux of the plan would remain the same. Someone would play bait for Vecna, keep him busy in their mind while the others set about attacking his physical form in the Upside Down.

“I’ll do it.” Steve volunteered immediately.

Eddie sucked in a sharp breath. He wanted to scream—no! Absolutely fucking not! No way was he letting Steve put himself through that again, but he held his tongue.

What was he supposed to say? What other choice did they have? Max, who was an actual under-18-years-old minor child, or Chrissy, who wasn’t much older and had no experience with this stuff. Who would he throw into the fire in Steve’s place?

No one.

If it was up to him no one would have to play this role. But it wasn’t up to him. They needed the distraction. Without it they had no chance at all of defeating Vecna.

“Maybe it should be me.” Chrissy said. “I mean, won’t they need you to go after his body? I don’t know how to fight, I'd be useless there.”

“No, Chrissy I-” Steve began, but Nancy cut him off.

“Eddie can come with me and Robin in Steve's place.”

“What about the bats?” Eddie asked.

Nancy eyed up the Harrington's fancy stereo system. “If we got you a long enough extension cord could you set this up in the Upside Down?”

“Nancy, you’re a genius.” Dustin exclaimed, and Eddie couldn’t help but agree. Why hadn’t he ever thought of that?

The next and perhaps the most important detail they needed to work out was where they would enter the other dimension from. Eddie’s trailer was out, obviously, since there was no gate there this time around. Fred’s gate was inaccessible, being in his own backyard in the middle of a residential street. Too many people would see them and wonder what they were up to, most of all Fred’s poor parents. Not knowing where the most recent murder had even occurred, that only left them with one viable option.

Benny’s.

“We need to go over there and see if the cops are still around, if it’s clear we could go in tonight.” Nancy said.

“If we’re lucky they’ll be too busy with the other murder.” Dustin said.

Max shook her head. “Dude.”

He winced. “Sorry.”

“Me and Eddie could take a ride over there.” Steve suggested.

“It might be safer to keep Eddie out of sight for now,” Dustin pointed out. “Jason might not have a whole lynch mob after him this time but he’s still got it out for him.”

Chrissy cleared her throat, “Nancy and I could go check it out. We made a pretty good team looking for Fred the other day, even if we didn’t manage to find him.”

Eddie half expected Robin to want to go too, since she and Chrissy had become attached at the hip, but she’d only bumped their shoulders together looking proud and continued whispering to Steve. He’d noticed them doing a lot of that this morning actually.

Once the two girls were gone on their fact finding mission, Steve grabbed Robin and pulled her into the kitchen to start working on dinner.

Naturally, Eddie followed, letting his curiosity get the better of him, under the guise of offering an extra set of hands to make the food.

“Want some help?” Eddie asked as he stepped into the room.

Steve looked up in surprise, his cheeks turning pink as he opened his mouth to reply. He hesitated and Robin shot Eddie a sympathetic smile behind Steve’s back

Eddie raised an eyebrow. “Ah, I see. You two want some time alone then.”

“Not like that.” Steve sighed, rolling his eyes.

Eddie laughed. “I know, I know. I get it, you need some best friend time. That’s okay, I'll just go keep the rug rats out of your hair.”

It was surprisingly easy to keep the kids distracted for a while, a testament to how much they’d been through that they were able to compartmentalize like that. He told them a little, very little, about his plans for the next campaign for Hellfire, the last game he planned on running before he graduated.

If he managed to graduate, Eddie mused, but he kept that thought to himself.

Which of course led to a discussion of who would be taking the reins when Eddie went off to bigger and better things. Dustin seemed to think he’d earned the right to inherit the kingdom, but Eddie was quick to knock him off that pedestal.

“Do you really think Gareth would let me hand the club over to a bunch of freshmen when he’s been waiting for his moment for two years?”

“We’ll be sophomores next year!”

Eddie waved him off. “Semantics.” He muttered “And Gare will be a senior. I expect all of you to support him, you hear me? He’s a good DM and an even better friend.”

The room fell silent when the phone suddenly rang, a sound that could mean only very good things or very bad things. It could also be a telemarketer, Eddie reminded himself, though it was a little early in day for it, they always seemed to call right as you were sitting down to eat.

When it hadn’t been answered by the third ring Eddie jumped up and ran into the kitchen to see what was wrong.

Something on the stove was burning and Robin was running her hands under cold water while Steve fussed over her.

“Do you want me to..?” Eddie asked, indicating the phone when Steve looked up. He nodded gratefully.

“Uh, Harrington residence.” Eddie answered, just in case it was, god forbid, a relative or one of Steve’s father’s business partners or something like that.

“Oh.” A young female voice came over the line. “Is this, Eddie?”

Eddie's heart rate picked up speed as he realized who it must be. “Supergirl?”

She laughed softly. “Yes, this is El.”

“Jesus Christ kid, we’ve been so worried! What happened, are you guys okay?” Eddie said in a rush, and Steve was at his side in less than a second, pressing their heads together so he could hear her voice too.

“El?” Steve said.

“Steve!” She sounded so happy and so relieved to hear his voice, it made Eddie’s chest tight.

“I am sorry we worried you. We are…. okay. Men in uniforms came and took us away from the Airport. I thought they were police but really they were with Doctor Owens. He knew about Henry. He knew Hawkins was in trouble and said he could help me get my powers back, so we went with him. We were in a car for a long time and then–” She hesitated, swallowing hard enough that Eddie could hear it over the phone. “I- I could not call until now, I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay. We’re just glad you’re safe.” Steve said into his side of the receiver.

“I know you were planning to go after him tonight. I…spied on you earlier, and I think I can help. I just need a little more time to get strong. Do you think you could get the others to wait until tomorrow?”

“Yeah, I think we can do that.” Steve said.

“But how are you gonna help from… wherever it is you are?” Eddie asked.

“I think we are in a place called Nevada, and I can piggyback. I’ve done it before, sort of.”

Eddie mouthed the word piggyback to himself silently, sending Steve a sideways look.

He shrugged.

“Once Henry has Steve in his trance, I will enter Steve’s mind, find him, and help fight Henry from there. Piggyback.”

“Oh. That actually makes sense.” Eddie murmured.

“Can Steve still hear me?” She asked.

“I'm here.”

“After Henry takes you, remember to think happy thoughts. Hide in the good memories, it is harder for him to find you there. Hide for as long as you can. I will find you.”

She hung up with promises to call again the next day to work out a time for the attack. In order for this to work they had to be perfectly coordinated.

Hearing from El changed everything. Even Eddie felt a much needed boost of optimism from it, like they might finally have a real shot at beating this thing.

They were all still worried something might happen in the meantime by delaying their plans. There wasn’t much stopping Henry from taking another random victim in the night, but they all agreed it was worth the risk to go into this fight with the full force of the party now that they had their superhero back.

Privately Eddie had a suspicion that Vecna didn’t want just anyone for his final kill anyway. He had a vendetta against them now, no doubt, and would take nothing less than someone Eleven knew and cared about. He was almost sure of it.

Nancy and Chrissy returned with good news as well. After they were filled in about the surprise phone call, Chrissy told them that Benny’s was completely abandoned. They even found the gate, a wide crack in the wall with a pulsing red membrane in the back of the building out by the dumpster.

For all their talk of staying awake all night to watch over each other, by 1 o'clock in the morning, after eating way too much pizza—half in celebration, half because Robin had burned dinner—and watching several cheesy movies, almost everyone had passed out where they sat.

Robin was slumped over on the small couch with her head draped over the armrest, while Chrissy was draped over her, and Nancy and Erica were snoring from their place on the floor in front of them.

Mike, Dustin and Lucas had all fallen asleep sitting up in a line on the longer couch, with only Max looking comfortable where she was reclined against the arm, and had her legs sprawled out over the three boys’ laps.

Eddie was wide awake, feeling too unsettled to sleep.

He was on the floor with his knees tucked to his chest and his back resting against the recliner that Steve was currently occupying. He understood why the kids had wanted them all to stay in one room tonight. They were worried, unsure of what the future would bring tomorrow, as was he, but if it was their last night on earth—so to speak—he would rather be spending it with Steve in the now familiar cocoon of his warmth, in the bed they’d been sharing for almost a week now.

He finally turned, looking up, expecting to find Steve as conked-out as the rest of them but found him awake too—already gazing down at him with a look that, if aimed at another, he might call longing.

They stared at each other for a long beat before Eddie tilted his head in the direction of the stairs in silent request. Steve smiled warmly, nodded, and the two snuck off as silently as they could.

The air between them felt heavy, charged in a way it hadn’t quite been before, and Eddie was almost sure he wasn't the only one feeling it.

Neither of them spoke as they climbed into bed together, as if they both knew anything they said would either be too much or not enough.

There was so much Eddie yearned to say.

That he was scared. That he wished Steve would stay behind where it was safe, even if he knew it wasn’t practical and that the other boy would never ever sit out this fight.

Unfathomably, he considered telling Steve how he felt about him. If his world was, maybe, about to end for the 4th time, what did he have to lose? He could tell Steve exactly how much he cared about him, how much their short time together has meant, and how he’ll never be the same after this. How he thought he might be falling in love with him.

But Eddie was a coward, so he didn’t say any of that. He held Steve’s gaze from a foot away and wished desperately for an excuse to get close.

As it turned out, he didn’t need one.

Steve closed the distance between them, winding his arms around Eddie and pulling him into his chest. Their arms and legs entwined with an almost practiced ease, and when Eddie pressed his face into the crook of Steve’s neck, for the first time it didn’t feel scary or awkward, it felt like he was made to fit there.

He breathed Steve in deeply, lips brushing lightly across the other boy’s collarbone by accident, but he didn’t care. He needed to memorize this moment, sear it into his brain forever—Steve’s smell, the heat of him, the softness of his skin, because one way or another it could all be gone tomorrow.

He tried to hold on but in the end it was too easy to fall asleep in the circle of Steve’s arms, and as he drifted off he could have sworn he felt a light kiss being pressed to the top of his head.

But maybe that part was just a dream.

The shrill ringing of a phone way too close to his head jolted Eddie from his sleep. Somehow he hadn’t even realized Steve had one in his room. Must be a rich people thing.

Eddie was closer so he snatched the handset off the base that sat on the nightstand and held it out to Steve, already sitting up and reaching for it.

“Hello?” Steve answered roughly, sounding exactly like a person who’d just been woken up after too many days of too few hours of sleep, but after a quick reply from the caller he was instantly more alert.

“Woah! Jonathan, slow down. What happened?”

Eddie sat up, scooching over and pressing himself into Steve’s side so he could listen in through the earpiece.

“Some army guys showed up, tried to get El. They killed Brenner and took Owens.”

“Brenner?” Steve asked.

“Papa.”

“Wait, that fucker has been alive this whole time? Dustin told me a demogorgon got him back when all this shit started! And he’s been there with her?!”

Steve clenched his jaw, audibly grinding his teeth. Eddie was still a little confused on the details, but he knew enough to put the pieces together. They were talking about the man who raised Eleven like she was a goddamn lab rat instead of a human being. The balls to do that to a child and have them call you Papa. It was disgusting.

“I know, man, I know. But it was her choice. He- he was a piece of shit but he got us out of there. He got shot as soon as we made it out the door. They had a gunman in a helicopter aiming for her.”

“Jesus H. Christ, she’s just a kid.” Eddie mumbled.

“Who? Wait, is that… Eddie?!”

Eddie's face felt hot, like he’d been caught with his hand in the cookie jar or something. He cleared his throat and tried to sound normal. “Hey Byers.”

“Is she okay? And Will?” Steve pressed on.

“They’re fine. We got away. El… she’s amazing. She stopped the helicopter, knocked it right out of the sky. She saved us. Brenner gave me his keys before he passed out, and we took off. I drove for a couple of hours till it felt safe enough to stop and grab a motel room. Hang on, she wants to talk to you-”

“Hi, Steve.” El said.

“You alright?”

“I’m tired, but I’m okay. I still want to go through with the plan.”

“Are you sure?”

“I can do it, I have to do it.”

Steve took in a breath and held it, fumbling around with his free hand until it closed around Eddie’s, squeezing. “Okay, if that’s what you want.”

“I’ll find you, Steve. Do not worry.”

Steve pulled his mouth away from the receiver and made a sound halfway between a laugh and a cry. Eddie was blown away too, Everything this girl had endured and here she was trying to make Steve feel better.

“I know.” Steve said eventually. “I’ll see you soon kiddo.”

A moment later there was a shuffling over the line as she presumably passed the phone back to Jonathan.

“I need some time to get salt and stuff for her set-up. At least the room we got has a bathtub.”

“The gate is behind Benny’s so we need to wait until dark anyway.” Steve explained. “It’ll give her some time to rest too. 7 o’clock our time should do it. We’ll have everyone in position, and I’ll start baiting Vecna.”

“Good luck.”

“You too, man.”

“And Steve, um, can you tell Nancy…” Jonathan trailed off.

They could both hear the words getting caught in the other boy’s throat. Whether it was because of the emotion of the day or because Jonathan realized who he was talking to, Eddie didn’t know, but Steve understood what he needed and as he’d said before, none of the shit from the past mattered now.

“Yeah, man. I’ll tell her.”

It was a somber day. Far from the party-like atmosphere of the night before, everyone was quiet, down to the youngest member of the party, all lost in their own thoughts as they made their preparations for battle.

The sound system from Steve’s living room was carefully broken down and loaded into the back of Eddie’s van, along with several extension cords and a gas powered generator they’d found hiding under a tarp in the garage.

Weapons were made and split between Nancy’s station wagon and Steve’s car. Between the sheer number of people and the supplies they carried, all three of their vehicles would be needed for transport.

When there was nothing left to do and the sun was beginning to set, the group got into the cars and made their way to Benny’s.

Eddie pulled around to the rear of the building and backed his van up as close to the thrumming gate as he dared, quickly busying himself with getting the generator going while the others parked on the side and walked over.

After a short argument Nancy entered the Upside Down first, wielding her brand new sawed-off shotgun. She would provide cover, if needed, while Steve and Eddie carried the sound equipment through to the Upside Down.

Eddie carefully didn’t look Steve’s way much as they worked.

He hadn't meant to do it, at least in the front part of his brain, but he’d spent a majority of the day avoiding Steve as much as possible. It was just… he didn’t know how he was going to say goodbye to him.

In no time they were set up and ready to go.

It was the moment Eddie had been dreading the most since this loop had begun. His time was officially up. There was nothing left to be done, for any of it—no more preparations to make, or warnings to give. He’d changed so much and yet he had no idea if they were about to succeed or fail.

When the farewells began, he tried to hang back, but he was pulled into the fold by Dustin—one of the few people in this world that he could never really say no to. He made his way around the group, still studiously avoiding Steve until finally the other boy caught his eye, and then it was all over.

It was like gravity, a magnetic pull that left Eddie powerless but to walk up and meet Steve where he was.

“Remember what El said,” Eddie started, trying so hard to hold it together. “Hide in your good memories and she’ll find you there. And whatever that prick tries to show you just…”

They stood only a foot apart as the others filtered away towards the cars, but it might as well have been a mile-wide chasm for how badly the space made Eddie’s heart ache. But they weren’t alone, and Eddie didn’t dare close the distance between them.

Steve nodded, offering him a sad smile.

“I’ve got a few in mind, and Dustin is on Walkman duty, if anything we have to worry about him trying to pull me out too soon. It’ll be okay.”

“Come on, Steve. It’s time!” Dustin shouted through the open passenger window of the BMW. Max and Lucas were in the back seat, all of them going to the real-world Creel house with Steve.

Steve bowed his head, shaking it before looking back up to study Eddie’s face.

“Good luck, Steve.” Eddie said.

“...You too.”

Eddie spun on his heel and forced himself to walk back towards his van. He needed to get his shit together. If they were going to defeat Vecna, he had to–

“Eddie, wait.” Steve called out seconds before his hand landed on Eddie's elbow, just as it had that first night in his bedroom when Eddie had tried to make a break for it.

He turned and found himself enveloped in arms that had begun to feel like home, and he eagerly returned the embrace. Steve pulled back, a soft look of determination in his eyes as he cupped Eddie’s cheek, his other hand falling to rest on his hip.

Eddie’s breath hitched as the hands holding him trembled, and again with those fucking eyes of his Steve asked a silent question. He couldn't quite believe what he was seeing but he was almost sure he knew what Steve was asking permission for.

The answer was easy.

Eddie dipped his chin, a single shallow nod, and without hesitation or a care for who was watching Steve crashed their lips together in a desperate kiss. Eddie melted into it, winding his hand into Steve's hair and pulling him impossibly closer.

It ended far too soon, though to be fair they could have stood around making out all night and it would never have felt like enough. Steve broke the kiss, resting his forehead against Eddie’s as they panted into each other's mouths.

“Please, please be careful.” Steve begged, pressing one last soft kiss to the corner of his mouth before letting him go, jogging over to his car, and peeling out of the parking lot to make it to his mark on time.

Eddie stood frozen, a little stunned as he watched the BMW drive out of sight. When he finally shook it off and turned back to his waiting crew he found them all watching him, dumbfounded.

Except for Robin, who was trying and failing to stifle the world’s largest shit-eating grin.

“Well what are you all just standing around for?” Eddie mumbled, picking up his axe and backpack full of prepared molotov cocktails and headed straight towards the gate.

Chrissy, Mike, and Erica were tasked with staying in the Right Side Up, armed with spears as they kept an eye on this side of the gate for any demopests trying to make their way out—though their main job was to wait for the signal and press play on one of Eddie’s many metal mixtapes to draw the bats away from the other Creel house, and clear the way for Nancy, Robin, and Eddie who were venturing into the Upside Down.

They were roughly half way there, having made the entire journey so far in silence when Nancy decided to go scouting up ahead, leaving Eddie and Robin alone.

“I see the way you look at him, so I’m not going to give you the shovel talk or whatever.” She said, falling into step beside him. “Just… be good to him, okay? Steve deserves that.”

Eddie’s knee jerk reaction was to scoff, and roll his eyes. “It was one kiss Buckley who knows if it even meant anything. Maybe to him it was just a, we’re probably all about to die, thing.”

In reality he didn’t know what to think. It had certainly felt real, but the circumstances were indisputably dire. Who was to say if Steve would have ever kissed him had they not found themselves in a life or death situation.

With no warning Robin cocked her arm back and punched him in the side, hard.

“Hey!”

“You listen to me, Edward Eleanor Munson–”

“Not my middle name!” He grumbled, rubbing at the spot. Robin was tougher than she looked.

“Whatever. I did not help Steve speed run through his bisexual crisis, in the middle of the fucking apocalypse, just for you to be dumb about this.”

“Can we maybe talk about this after we survive?”

“Fine, but i’m warning you, Munson, if you mess this up I’ll–”

He was saved from whatever threat Robin was about to dish out by Nancy’s return.

“It’s just up ahead. I can see the light marking Lucas at the playground. Are you guys ready?”

“As I'll ever be.” Eddie said.

Robin nodded. “Let's do this.”

When they reached the playground Nancy gave the signal, pushing her hand through the particles three times to initiate the next phase.

Soon after, the faint sound of music started in the distance and they were forced to duck down under the play equipment as swarms of bats began to pass overhead.

That meant Steve was in, Vecna had him, and now it was their turn to finish this.

Eddie let out a shaking breath, closing his eyes tightly against the rising panic.

Robin laid a tentative hand on his shoulder. “He’ll be alright. Steve always makes it out, you’ll see.”

They failed.

They fucking failed.

The ugly asshole was on fire, and Nancy shot him so many times.

They had him, he was down and they thought he was dead but then they heard it.

Chimes.

Four chimes and then the ground beneath their feet started to shake. Deep down Eddie knew what that meant, but he couldn’t allow himself to think it. Not yet.

He ran full out back to the gate, so fast that he somehow managed to lose the girls along the way. He felt bad about it in a distant way but he had to get there, he had to know. Was Steve really gone?

Eddie tumbled out of the gate, taking only a second to notice that Chrissy and Erica were huddled together by the van crying, while Mike sat a few feet away with his head between his knees.

He snatched one of the spare walkies up off the ground, pressing the button down with shaking hands. “Dustin? Lucas? Max?.. Steve?” His voice didn’t sound like his own, thick with an emotion he wasn’t ready to name as it cracked on his words. “What happened?”

“Steve, he was…” Dustin was barely audible over the glorified toy’s small speaker, but it was still evident that he’d been crying—was crying

“He- he got Vecna to take him and w- we were standing by in case things went too far b- but… Jason and Andy showed up. They held me and Max at gunpoint. They saw Steve’s car here, and they’d seen your van at his house before and… Eddie, we almost had them. They didn’t see Lucas sneaking up from behind. He tried, but the Walkman got broken in the struggle and then Steve was floating. Jason freaked out and took off, but it was too late. He’s gone.”

Eddie felt as if all the oxygen had been sucked out of the world. He let out a painful gasping cry and let the radio fall from his hand, winding his arms around himself as his body began to shake. It felt like a black hole had formed inside his chest, an endless void, and every good thing he’d ever felt was being pulled into its vacuum of hopelessness.

“Well, well, well. If it isn’t the cult leader himself, and the rest of his flock.” A familiar and very unwelcome voice called out as two figures appeared around the side of the building.

Jason and Andy came walking up, trying to look casual save for the way Jason was still limping on his bad knee, but as they got closer Eddie could see the haunted look in their eyes. They were afraid of him.

While keeping his gaze on Eddie, Jason pushed his second in command in Chrissy’s direction.

“Grab her, we’re getting her out of here right now.”

Eddie was torn, he wanted to help Chrissy fight Andy off but Jason already had his gun out, loosely pointed in his direction and he was afraid if he moved someone else would get hurt.

“You've brainwashed all these people into following you, and I don’t know how you’re doing it, but I know you’re responsible for these murders somehow.” Jason said, leveling his weapon at Eddie’s chest. “I saw what your friends did to Steve Harrington.”

“You don’t fucking say his name!” Eddie growled. “And you have no idea what you’re talking about.”

He lunged at Jason but he was too slow and the other boy side-stepped out of his reach easily, swinging the gun back around to aim it again.

Just then Nancy and Robin came stumbling out of the gate.

Jason turned, eyes widening as he saw the two girls magically appearing through a concrete wall. “What the fuck is that?!” He shouted.

Eddie didn’t look at them, he was singularly focused on Jason and taking him the fuck down. He tackled him to the ground, hoping the force of the fall would loosen his hold on his gun, instead the impact only caused Jason to squeeze the trigger with the barrel pressed right into him.

Eddie reared back, balancing on his knees as blood quickly blossomed across his chest, the bright red of it stark against the white of his Hellfire club shirt, and it occurred to him that maybe it had been bad luck to wear this particular shirt on this particular day.

He’d just wanted to feel like himself.

Eddie collapsed backwards into the dirt and in moments he could feel it turning to mud, as a puddle slowly spread beneath him. It was hard to breathe, hard to concentrate but he could hear the sounds of a struggle and Nancy threatening to shoot Andy if he didn’t let Chrissy go.

She must have succeeded in convincing him she meant business because suddenly Chrissy was there, falling to her knees beside him and putting pressure on his wound. Robin joined her a second later.

The pain, which he’d mostly been able to ignore, intensified as they pressed on his chest but he welcomed it—let it run through him and drown out the despair and heartbreak.

Another gunshot rang out, and Eddie flinched, casting his eyes around wildly. All he could see was Mike consoling Erica as she cradled her arm.

“Damnit!” Nancy shouted from a short distance, and then she too came into his line of sight. “I missed. Clipped the side of the building and they got away.”

She looked down at him, and as if suddenly remembering that he was hurt started to tear at the bottom of her shirt. Eddie knew what she meant to do, but it was pointless. Even if he could be saved, which he highly doubted, he didn’t want to be.

“No, stop.” Eddie said, struggling to talk through ragged breaths. "You gotta let me go. It’s the only way to fix this.”

“But what if this is it? What if you don’t get another try?” Nancy said. She had a strip of fabric now and seemed to be considering the best way to get it around him.

“Doesn’t matter,” Eddie grunted. “Have to try.”

“Eddie, he wouldn’t want–” Robin began, but Eddie refused to hear it. Couldn’t accept it.

“I have to. We- we still have to kill Vecna. And Steve-” He sobbed, choking on the name. “It can’t end like this, it just can’t.”

Reluctantly Robin and Chrissy took their hands off of him and Nancy sat back on her heels looking lost and unsure.

Eddie sputtered, a rush of coppery liquid filling his mouth, overflowing and spilling out the sides. It was hard not to struggle, his body still trying to breathe even as he was ready to let go.

Chrissy leaned over him, holding his face gently between her bloodstained hands as she pressed a soft kiss to his forehead, her hot tears splashing down onto his cool skin.

He fought to give her a weak smile as she looked down at him.

“I’m sorry, Eddie. I’m so sorry that you’re going to have to do this all over again—but you can do it, okay? I know you can. You are so brave, and loyal, and kind and I might not remember all this, but I’ll be right there with you in the next one. I promise.”

“See you soon, Chris,” was all he managed to say before releasing his final breath, and for the fourth time in his life, Eddie died.

Chapter 7

Special thanks to @penny00dreadful for being the best beta, friend and cheerleader.

Reblogs are always appreciated and if you want to be tagged, just let me know! I'd be more than happy to do so 💜

Taglist: @hitlikehammers @pearynice @cranberrymoons @thoroughlycollected @blubblesandink @finntheehumaneater @brbsoulnomming @estrellami-1 @hellion-child @mentallyundone @manda-panda-monium @spicysix @kikidoesfanfic @dreamwatch @lawrencebshoggoth @stillfullofshit @lil-gremlin-things @mamafaithful

#steddie fanfic #time loop #pov eddie munson #steddie #stranger things #steve harrington #eddie munson #steve x eddie #steve harrington/eddie munson #steddie fic #robin buckley #chrissy cunningham #the party #hbyrde's anniversary project

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sunshinesdaydream · 6 months

Text

Pairing: Part 1: Hardcase x Reader Part 2: Fives x Reader Rating: SFW/ No Spice Warnings: Illness and what comes with it Word Count: 466 total

Dividers made by me, if you use please reblog!

The light streams through the window into your eyes. Your head aches, your body aches, your throat is absolutely raw.

“Sorry babe, forgot,” Hardcase rasped as he closed the blackout shutter on the bedroom window.

“What are you doing up?” You ask, blinking in his direction. He had been coughing as much as you had last night. You were sure at some point he had said he was going to send a message to Rex.

“Had to let in the AZ droid Kix sent from the med bay,” he was holding out a cup of medicine to you and a glass of water. “You didn’t wake up when it was here,” his eyes were drooping already. You quickly take the medicine and drink the water as he crawls into bed next to you. As soon as you set the empty glass down he pulls you to himself almost as if you are a stuffed tooka he was snuggling.

“Think Kix told the droid to give me sleep meds,” his voice almost completely gone. “Wanted to take care of you,”

Turning in his arms and burrowing into his chest to combat the chills against his warmth you answer, “you did, go to sleep,”

“I think I’m dying,” the congested moan comes from next to you. Evidently Fives has come down with whatever you had started to get yesterday. He flops over, pinning you under an arm, and burrows his feverish face in your neck.

“You aren’t dying,” you answer in a rasp. “I have it too,”

“Atleast we’ll be together,” he moans from your neck.

“Dramatic idiot,” you huff.

“ ‘M your dramatic idiot,” the muffled, congested response.

“I’m going to order some soup and cold meds delivered.” you say, reaching for your com. “You should call the Captain.”

“True, he should know I’m not much longer for this galaxy,” He says, flopping back on his back when you nudge his face out of your neck.

Fives grabs his cam and calls Rex, “Can’t go on patrol, ‘M dying,”

“Dramatic di’kut, half the battalion has whatever this is. Com Kix so he can update his report,” Rex sighed. “Get some rest, vod’ika,”

As you are entering the order for med delivery he is on the com with Kix. “Kix, ‘M not gonna make it,” he groaned.

“Dramatic di’kut, it’s just a passing flu,” Kix gripes.

“Why is everyone calling me that?” Fives complains.

“I wonder,” Kix answers drily. “I’ll add you to the tally. I know you’ll be well taken care of, Just drink plenty of fluids,”

“Ughh!” he groans, ending the call. “Cyare?” he half whines, “Lemme hold you?”

Setting your com down, you shift towards him, letting him pull you to his chest. He kisses your forehead, then mumbles into your hair, “Ner Cyare,” as he drifts off.

Thanks for reading! ☀️Love & Wrecker Hugs☀️

Tag List: @the-bad-batch-baroness @lightwise @captainbutterflynonsense @sleepycreativewriter @523rdrebel @inneedoffanfics @cloneloverrrrr @trappedinlimbo15 @chubbyhedgehog @sev-on-kamino @anoushe01 @cdblake1565 @littlemissmanga @skywlker-sluvtt @padawancat97@clonemedickix @dystopicjumpsuit @moonlightwarriorqueen @idontgetanysleep @littlemissmanga@starrylothcat @sinfulsalutations @ailyr92 @anxiouspineapple99 @wizardofrozz @multi-fan-dom-madness@wolffegirlsunite @dickarchivist @secondaryrealm @wings-and-beskar

#sunshine writes #2sick #Hardcase my beloved #Fives #arc trooper fives #clone trooper hardcase #arc trooper hardcase #hardcase x reader #fives x reader

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hockeyandhrsepwr · 1 year

Text

Silverstone

Je T'aime series

Previous Part: Montreal

F1 Driver reader x Jack Hughes

Two weeks after the Montreal GP, it's time for Silverstone, and the Stanley cup finals heat up

Silverstone weekend doesn’t end well, with you having a slow pit stop & ending up in 7th. You’re frustrated, but at least you still got some points. Making your way through the media pen, you get waved over by your favourite interviewer Natalie.

“Y/N, how are you feeling after today? I imagine it’s not the result you wanted?”

“Yeah, not what we were hoping for, but we know what we need to work on & we’ll come back stronger after the break. I’m really happy for Mick with his win though. He deserved it.”

“It was great to watch him today. I’m glad to see the result didn’t get you too down. Ready for the summer break?”

“Heh, things don’t go your way sometimes but that’s the nature of the sport. We’re still in a good position point wise. But yeah, well get some work in over the summer in the factory after a little break and try to improve.”

“Going anywhere exciting?”

“Uh yeah, I’m heading back to the US for a bit. My friend Thomas, who I mentioned in Montreal, a bunch of his friends have a lake house that they all go to in the summer during the NHL break. I’ve visited over the past few years, so I’m going over there for a few weeks to catch up & have a bit of a break, then I’ll be back in Maranello for the week or so heading into Zandvoort.”

“That sounds nice! So, it’s a bit of a tradition then, for you to go there?”

“Yeah, so he first brought me 5 years ago, but now I’m friends with all of them too so I’ll go even if he can’t make it. Most of the hockey guys will make an appearance at some point over the summer, bit it’s a bit up in the air who I’ll actually see. It’s always a nice way to recharge though, the area is beautiful.”

“Well, have a lovely break y/n, and well see you in September!”

“Thanks Natalie, you have a nice break too!”

You wave and walk on to the next interview. You can’t wait to head back to Michigan and just chill for a few weeks. But first, you’re going out with Mick to celebrate his win & spend a bit of time together before you head in different ways for the summer. You hoped that you’d be able to make it back to the US and watch Jack in the cup finals, but the Devils have the series 3-0 against the Oilers. They play tonight so there’s no way you’ll make it to what could potentially be the deciding game. If they lose, which hopefully not, you’ll be able to make it to the next one. It’ll be a late night tonight with the time difference, but it gives you time to celebrate with Mick, since he really deserved the win.

Once we clear off back to the hotel, you get a chance to call Jack.

“Hey babe, I’m sorry about today” you sigh, “it is what it is, but I’m not here to talk about me. Ready?”

You can hear the nerves in his voice “Were as ready as we can be. It’s not the end of the world if we lose, but It’d be great to sweep it”

“You’re going to kill it. I just wish I could be there to see it.”

“Soon, babe soon.” You hear someone yelling at him, so you know it’s time to go. “Good luck & fuck the oilers. je t’aime.”

He says it back before hanging up.

Knocking on your door pulls you out of your little funk, wishing you could be there tonight. “One sec” you jump up & grab your purse before opening the door to Mick & Esteban.

“let’s GOOOO” they yell & you smile. If you can’t be with jack, at least you’ve got these guys to distract you from the sadness. The group of you head out into London ready to tear it up.

Four hours later, you make you way back to the hotel, drunk but not blackout because you need to be able to watch the whole game. You get some coffee, get comfy & facetime Thomas.

“Excited?” he asks when he picks up, showing you his living room in Montreal

“yeah, but so fucking nervous. Stupid TV won’t connect.”

Yo finally get it to work just before the game starts. You see Jack there and start crying.

“Babe, what’s wrong” Thomas says in alarm.

“I just, I just love him so much” you bawl, “and I miss him.”

“Okay Jesus, calm down.” Thomas is muttering “god you’re drunk” You nod, tears streaming down you face as you watch the game get underway.

Its fast paced & back & forth as Edmonton try & put one in and keep their chances alive.

No one scores in the first 2 period, your stress rising exponentially.

GO GO GO GO GO YEAAAAHHHHHH!!! You cry when the Devils score twenty seconds into the third. Then someone pounds on your door.

“oh shit, you’re in trouble” Thom whispers from the phone as you slowly walk over.

“y/n what the hell its 4am” Charles whispers. Oops, you forgot he was next door.

“I’m sorry” You whisper back, “Jack’s team scored” he rolls his eyes. No matter how many times you try & explain it, he doesn’t understand why people enjoy it. “Hey, it’s the finals. If they win, it’s like winning the drivers’ championship with a few races left. If you lose you still have time but it’s better to win as quick as possible.”

“Y/N!” you hear from Thomas, so you turn around. Charles follows behind & jumps on your bed as you turn your attention back to the game. “Who is it?” you ask Thomas as you stare at the fight going down. “Think its Mercer, but It was hard to see” he says as the refs pull the players apart, shoving both into the penalty box as the clock ticks down.

“McDavid must be shitting himself right now.” You joke.

“who’s McDavid?” Charles pipes up.

“he’s basically the Verstappen of the team, the generational talent. But it’s the first time he’s gone to the finals and could win. Now shush.” Putting your hand on his mouth, Thomas is laughing as you focus on the TV, 2 minutes left. Poor Vitek’s getting pounded by shots from the Oilers but nothings getting in. Devils get it back into their end & as the final minute hits Nico smacks a one timer straight through the legs.

“They win right?” Charles says as you sit there in shock.

“Shut it” Thomas hisses from the phone, both of you knowing that’s it’s not impossible for Edmonton to score 2 in less than a minute. But they don’t and ten seconds left in the game, it finally sinks in

“Holy shit, holy shit. Thomas!!!! They fucking did it.” You’re losing it, tears streaming down your face but huge smile on your face as the buzzer sounds. Charles is laughing at you as he pulls him phone out and films your reaction.

“ I can’t fucking believe it. Hes a champion. Where’s my phone?” you’re looking frantically as Charles passes it to you & you pull up the camera.

“Jack, you did it!!! I’m so fucking proud of you. you deserve this after everything you’ve put in. You’re my superstar and We’re going to celebrate so hard. Tell the boys I say congrats!!” Charles grabs your phone and says “She’s still pretty drunk, so I’m going to get her to bed, but congrats man. She’ll see you soon.” And sends it off.

Thomas s still on facetime on your laptop absolutely laughing his ass off. “I don’t think I can sleep” you mutter, already laying down in bed eyes half closed. “Too much excitement” the two boys laugh as they both say good night and Charles slips out. You drift off, dreaming about the fun you’re going to have this summer.

“Fucking hell” your head is absolutely killing you when you wake up, but you have to get going. you’ve got a flight booked to Jersey that leaves at 12. You search for your phone before finally seeing it plugged in. thanks Charles. The first thing you see is,

Jack Hughes secret woman and your heart drops. Did something happen last night? No, you trust Jack. But you continue reading.

The New jersey Devils won the Stanley cup after sweeping the Edmonton Oilers 4 – 0, ending their series with a shutout 2-0 game. Celebrations took over the Prudential center, and star player Jack Hughes when pulled into an interview said “to win with my brother (Luke Hughes also plays for the devils and was on the ice with Jack when that buzzer sounded) and have so much of my family here means everything. This is what every player dreams of, honestly, I don’t really have words yet.” When asked how he plans on celebrating the win, he mentioned “seeing my girl”. This is the first time we’ve heard of a potential love interest, but it appears she’s busy in her own right as he also mentioned she would’ve loved to be there but wasn’t able to with work. Not sure what work she does, but surely the potential cup deciding game would be worth missing work for. What do you think?

Jesus, why is this “breaking news” when they just won? Surely that’s not the most important thing to report right now. But you know how the media is from your own experiences, so you’re not surprised. You’re pretty used to ignoring the nonsense by now.

You read your messages from Jack, knowing it’s too early to call him. You start packing up so you can get going, when a knock on the door interrupts.

“He won!” mick yells as you open the door & half of the grid is there smiling. You grin, “hell yeah he did” as you gesture them in. Most of them are sticking around London for a few days, but they’ve come to say bye, since they knew you’d be gone as soon as possible.

Lots of hugs and ‘tell him we say congrats later, everyone’s gone but Mick.

“you’re going to have a fun summer” he jokes, and you throw a pillow at him. The two of you walk down together so you can grab a cab & go to the airport.

“See you soon sailor” you hug Mick and go on your way. You can’t wait to get back to Jersey and then Michigan.

Nine hours later, you’re landing in Newark, exiting the airport to see Ellen waiting for you. Rushing over you wrap your arms around her, both of you excited. She’s going to bring you back to Jack & Luke’s, which is where they’re staying anyway.

He doesn’t know you’re here yet since you didn’t tell him what time you’d be getting in. He knows you were trying to make it back on the Monday, but not when.

“They’re probably still asleep” Ellen comments when you’re nearly to the apartment, and you laugh “how late did everything go last night?”

“Oh, it was like 6am by the time they got back so.” “Not surprising” you laugh.

You park & make your way to the apartment where Jim lets you in. You walk around into the kitchen & see Jack, Luke, Quinn, Nico, Dawson & johnny sat around the counter, drinking coffee and looking a little worse for wear.

Jack looks up and says “I must be still drunk. I’m seeing y/n.” The rest of the boys turn towards you & laugh. “Not drunk babe,” you say, and it takes a minute but then he jumps up and runs to you, grabbing you and squeezing.

“I missed you so much.”

“ moi aussi” you kiss him before pulling him over to the table so you can congratulate the rest of the boys and get some food.

#fast cars & sharp shoes au #f1 imagine #jack hughes #jack hughes x reader #driver!reader #ferrarri #new jersey devils #hockey blurb #je taime series #jjwritesshit

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bridgyrose · 2 months

Note

🏠 casual roommate/prudish roommate

Ruby and Cinder, which is which is up to you 😌

(Well, since you were so nice)

“And how do you know you wont like it if you dont try it?” Cinder asked with a smirk.

Ruby blushed as she rolled her eyes, doing her best to keep from watching Cinder strip in front of her. It hadnt been the first time that Cinder had stripped during a hot, summer day, but the idea of being naked around others still didnt feel right with Ruby, especially around Cinder. The older huntress had been a mentor to her at Beacon, almost like an older sister to her, and the idea of moving in with her felt more like a dream for further training. Instead, she had spent most of the last year watching Cinder walk around naked, play strip poker with a few of her friends, and even try to talk Ruby into getting naked. “I’m not… exactly comfortable with, you know, stripping like that.”

“Why not? You wont be harming anyone and even you said that its still too hot in here even with the little you’re already wearing? What’s removing just a few more pieces of clothing?”

“Because its indecent!” Ruby paused for a moment as she swore she sounded like Weiss for a moment. “I still want to keep at least a little modesty.”

Cinder grinned and gestured towards Ruby. “And you think that’s modest right now?”

Ruby looked down at herself, looking over the tank top and shorts she’d decided to wear. Her tank top left very little to the imagination, clinging to her braless chest as sweat dripped down. Even her shorts seemed to hug her hips tightly, a tad bit small on her after years of training. “This… this is different.”

“And how is this different?” Cinder asked as she sat down. “You’re practically exposed right now and you’re worried about showing off a bit more skin? Hell, I’ve seen you go to a pool in a bikini. Its not like you have anything no one else has seen.”

Ruby blushed a bit more as she felt herself get eyed by Cinder, unable to argue that she was wrong. Her hands went down to her shorts as she felt the fabric, the thought of removing them along with her tank top ran through her mind. “Neo… Neo is coming over, isnt she? O-or what if we get called for a mission-”

“Neo wont mind and will probably get naked herself, and if we get called on a mission, then we’ll deal with that. Besides, Ozpin told you to take some time off, right? You’ve been on mission after mission for months, why not just relax?”

Ruby quietly sighed and gripped the side of her shorts. Cinder had made a compelling argument and the summer heat wasnt going to leave any time soon. Still, the idea of getting naked in front of her or even around someone else still felt… wrong. Getting naked still felt like too intimate of an activity to her, especially since most shows gave the impression that getting naked with someone would lead to sex. And that was something she was not up for. “I… I cant…”

Cinder shrugged. “Suit yourself.”

Ruby quickly went back to her room, closing the door loudly. The air in her room seemed warmer than the rest of the apartment even though her window was open to allow air to circulate and blackout curtains to keep the sun from shining into her room. Still, nothing seemed to help much. In a moment of desperation, she slowly started to strip herself, first by taking off her shorts and relaxing a bit when it did feel better. Though, it wasnt long before she put her bikini bottoms on to feel a bit less naked. Then, she looked down at her sweat soaked tank top, quickly removing it and replacing that with her bikini top as well. She winced as she struggled to get the bikini top to stay on right, not realizing how small it had gotten on her.

With a heavy sigh, she tossed it away while she dug through her things for something else that’d work. She tossed away a few bras, taking a couple of them and looking in the mirror before throwing them away when she realized just how little most of them actually covered her. Not that she was surprised, after all, she did prefer the feel of lace on her skin and most of the stores she shopped at did put lace underwear on the gothic end. Finally, she settled on a sports bra and put it on, taking a quick look at herself in the mirror. A blush crossed her cheeks when she saw just how much skin she was showing, only embarrassed with the prospect of Cinder seeing her and telling her she might as well just strip.

Ruby flinched as she heard a knock on the door echo through the apartment, quickly putting her clothes away and grabbing her shorts to pull them back up. Her heart raced for a moment as she moved closer to her bedroom door to make sure it wasnt her own that was knocked on, practically pressing her ear against it. When she was sure that no one was looking for her, she opened up her door a crack to see Neo walking into the apartment, following Cinder. She relaxed and closed the bedroom door, letting out a sigh.

“Rubes, Neo’s here!” Cinder called out. “We’ll be in the kitchen if you need anything.”

Ruby nearly froze up and opened the door slightly, peeking out before calling back to Cinder. “Wait, you’re going to be in the kitchen?”

“Its colder in there than anywhere else in our apartment.” Cinder answered back. “Besides, There isnt a better place to play a few games. We still have a spot open for poker.”

Ruby could practically hear the grin that Cinder had on her face, knowing full well what she was doing, yet, she couldnt call her out for it. And Cinder was still her mentor, and it was hard to go against anything that she said. Finally, Ruby let out a soft sigh. “Fine, I’ll join you.”

“Great! We’ll give you a bit of room.” There was a pause. “Oh, and come out naked. We have a different kind of poker in mind.”

Ruby sighed and stripped down, blush burning her cheeks as she looked herself over trying to rethink everything she was just about to do. After a few, quiet moments of looking herself over and trying to find an excuse to stay in her room, she finally made her way out to the kitchen.

#rwby #ruby rose #rwby ruby rose #cinder fall #drabbles #nsft #nsft drabble #Why not a bit of corruption?

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girlactionfigure · 3 months

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SPECIAL REPORT ON NORTHERN ISRAEL - WAR OF DRUMS

⚠️ Israeli and US media are reporting that the Israeli Security Cabinet had put a “deadline” for the end of January for the diplomatic efforts to make Hizbullah move north to the Litani river, if this will not be achieved till the end of January - Israel will begin a military operation against Hizbullah in southern Lebanon.

⚠️ Kann News quotes a Lebanese newspaper “Al-Jumhoriya” saying that an “ambassador of a major European country” conveyed a message to Lebanese officials that "a war is fast approaching Lebanon" and there is a growing fear that the situation will “go out of control”, as he put it.

It was also reported that the American and French efforts prevented the expansion of the war as of now after pressuring Israel into giving diplomatic efforts a chance, but even this measure is reaching its end.

⚠️ Kann News reports that in an overnight telephone call with US Defense Secretary Austin, DM Galant had reiterated “Israel’s commitment to return the evacuated communities along the Lebanon border” and that “crucial decision point on the matter” is “approaching” DM Galant emphasized that Israel prefers to do this in a diplomatic manner, but at the same time is “prepared to do so through military force as well”

⚠️ DM Galant held another situational assessment yesterday on the Lebanon border with the troops stationed there:

"I estimate that as long as fighting continues in the south, there will be fighting in the north. But we will not accept this situation for an extended period of time. There will come a moment when, if we do not reach a diplomatic agreement in which Hezbollah respects the right of the residents to live here in security - we will have to bring security by force. I don't wish for war, I don't want to take it as a first choice, so we are trying to exhaust the diplomatic option. But if we have to use force in order to return our people to their homes - we will use force. This army is ready to protect the citizens of the country”

DM Galant also added :”If and when we’ll do it, we have to act properly. Like a knife, with great power, with high coordination. And I very much trust the fighters, the regulars, the reservists, the commanders, the brigadier general, the division commander - I hope we don't get to that, but I estimate that we’re approaching a military option.”

⚠️ Hizbullah deputy leader Naeem Qassem :”We do not care nor fear about the threats of the Israeli enemy. If and when it will expand its aggression it will receive a resounding and forceful response that will have a beginning but could have no ending”

The Hizbullah terrorist Ali Damush (deputy head of Hezbollah's executive council) said that “it is true that the "resistance" does not want to be dragged into war” but if it is “forced into one” it will not fear it and is “already fully prepared to confront it with all its strength and courage”

⚠️ Levi also heavily criticized both local and national governments, lack of preparedness to a war: ”We were presented with assessments of a 7 day blackout. No phone services, no electricity, no water, possibly no working sirens. No ones relaying this to the public” He urged Israelis to “purchase small generators, fuel, non perishable foods, batteries”

⚠️ Minister Eli Cohen: "Establishing a Palestinian state is a reward for terrorism and a danger to the State of Israel. It will encourage the murder of Jews."

#Israel #October 7 #Hamas Massacre #Iron Sword #Realtime Updates

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multiplicity-positivity · 7 months

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can blackouts happen after the memories been made?? like i dont blink and suddenly its 5 hours later, but i do forget pretty much everything that happens, except for plain information like i went to a mall, and ill remember nothing else about that event.

hey, we’re not sure what this question means entirely.

if a memory was made, and you have access to that memory, it’s probably not a blackout.

if a memory was made, and afterwards you don’t have access to that memory anymore, it could be a blackout. in our system sometimes memories remain, but they’re held on to by certain alters. for example, i might start playing video games, then suddenly realize i’m in bed with teeth brushed and chores finished. i might not be able to remember doing the chores or brushing our teeth, but a part of our system (likely ralsei) would have that memory. in this way, the memory remains, but i still experienced a blackout.

we can also have events that happen where, afterwards, we can recall some factual information about what happened without being able to recall any sensory details. this sounds kind of like what you’re describing? and we’ve also called this a blackout in the past.

we’ll link our post on dissociative amnesia here, which has some of our experiences with blackouts vs. greyouts:

honestly that post ^ is going to have more in depth info about blackouts than we can really describe right now. sorry about this.

🐢 kip and 🦇 alucard

#amnesia #blackout #greyout #dissociative amnesia

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mariacallous · 1 month

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In the early hours of March 22, Russian forces launched what Ukraine’s energy minister called the “largest attack” on Ukrainian infrastructure in recent times. Numerous critical infrastructure facilities across the country, including the Dnipro Dam, have been hit, and many places are without power or are under rolling blackouts to reduce demand on damaged systems. Additionally, the Zaporizhzhia nuclear power plant was briefly disconnected from the grid during the strikes, posing a risk of shutdown. Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelensky called the attack a direct “war against ordinary people’s lives.”

Air raid sirens sounded throughout Ukraine early Friday as the Russian military launched massive missile strikes across the country. Ukrainian Energy Minister Herman Halushchenko called the strikes “the most extensive attack on Ukrainian energy infrastructure in recent times,” saying they were aimed at “causing a large-scale breakdown of the nation’s energy system.” Volodymyr Kudrytskyi, the head of Ukraine’s high-voltage transmission operator Ukrenergo, concurred, saying the attack was the largest of its kind since the start of the full-scale war.

According to Halushchenko, power generation facilities as well as transmission and distribution systems in various regions were hit and damaged. Many places are without power.

The city of Kharkiv has been left almost entirely without electricity or running water following Russian strikes on over 15 energy infrastructure targets in the area, reported Governor Oleh Syniehubov.

Russia launched 12 missiles on Zaporizhzhia, said regional Governor Ivan Fedorov. According to preliminary information, at least one person was killed and eight people were injured. Fedorov later reported that two more people are missing. At least seven residential buildings in the area were destroyed and 35 were damaged.

The Zaporizhzhia nuclear power plant, currently under Russian control, was also on the verge of shutdown. During the attack, the overhead power line connecting the occupied plant to Ukraine’s power grid was disconnected.

Drone and missile strikes also damaged critical infrastructure in Kryvyi Rih, said Mayor Oleksandr Vilkul. The city is implementing emergency shutdown schedules and hospitals and other critical facilities are switching to generator power where possible.

Pro-Kremlin Telegram channels reported a strike on the Dnipro Dam, a hydroelectric power plant. Petro Andryushchenko, an aide to Mariupol’s legitimate mayor, said a Russian missile hit a trolley traveling along the dam. According to him, the vehicle was filled with civilians who were commuting to work.

The Ukrainian energy company Ukrhydroenergo wrote that a fire broke out at the station but that the situation is under control and there is “no threat of breach.”

Ukrhydroenergo’s CEO, Ihor Syrota, told Radio Free Europe/Radio Liberty that the Russian military hit the station’s Hydroelectric Power Plant 1 and Hydroelectric Power Plant 2 (HPP-1 and HPP-2). According to him, HPP-2 was severely damaged and may be beyond repair. One of the station’s supports was also hit, and crane beams were broken. “We’ll have to completely restore the machine room and electrical equipment,” Syrota said. “We’ll assess the consequences within the day and take stock of what happened.”

Authorities in Ukraine’s Sumy region have introduced a schedule of emergency blackouts to cope with damage from strikes on energy infrastructure. Russia’s attacks also reportedly damaged critical energy infrastructure in Ukraine’s Vinnytsia, Lviv, Ivano-Frankivsk, Mykolaiv, and Odesa regions.

Khmelnytskyi Mayor Oleksandr Symchyshyn wrote that there were dead and wounded after Russian strikes hit infrastructure facilities and homes in the city. Ukraine’s Internal Affairs Ministry confirmed the deaths of two people in Khmelnytskyi.

Missile debris fell on homes in Ukraine’s Poltava region, and rolling blackouts have been implemented in the area. Local authorities have also introduced blackouts in the Kirovohrad region to reduce the strain on the energy grid.

Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelensky said that Russia launched over 60 drones and around 90 missiles in the attack. Commenting on the strikes, Zelensky wrote that they were clear evidence of Russia’s intent to harm Ukrainian civilians:

Russia is waging war against ordinary people’s lives. […] Russian missiles don’t have delays like aid packages to our nation do. Shahed [drones] have no indecision like some politicians. It’s important to understand the cost of delays and postponed decisions. Patriot systems should be protecting Kharkiv and Zaporizhzhia; we need air defense systems to protect people, infrastructure, homes, and dams. Our partners know exactly what’s needed. They can certainly provide support. These decisions are necessary. Life must be protected from these Moscow barbarians.

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lorelei-system · 4 months

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Tonight I’m genuinely thinking I may not be a system at all. This is the first time in a year that I’m genuinely considering the possibility that our alters aren’t real, and are just parts of me.

(Long post ahead. Just me typing out my feelings.)

One of the main reasons I’m thinking this is that we (or at least all alters I know have fronted) share memories. As in, we all remember exactly the same memories, nothing different. It feels shameful to even type, but it’s more like I become a different alter. Yes, who I was before doesn’t exist anymore, but still…

I still don’t know if the word “monoconscious” is only for endos, or what it even really means. But that could maybe fit us.

I have a few experiences of “blackout amnesia”, but no proof that it wasn’t me. I can’t deny that I have memory issues, but the only time an alter may have introduced themself to someone, without me remembering it… I have no idea whether she did. Whether she’s even real. Whether having an alter was just something me and my best friend made up back then. All I know is that we came up with “evil twins” taking over our bodies sometimes. But I don’t know if Natalie (the alter in question) introduced herself to our bestie and she just went with it, or whether my bestie just made it all up.

I’m just so upset. What I know for real is that I “identify” as different people at different times. That is something I can’t change. I’ve been leaning into it, giving them names and treating them like separate alters. Mostly because seeing all of us as one singlet is pretty much impossible. I can’t be all of us. I can’t be a gay trans man and a straight one, and a lesbian (both butch and femme), and bi, and ace. I could understand age regression. But that’s the only thing that I’d be able to accept as part of me.

Before finding out I may be part of a system, I was always confused about who I am. It feels nice to feel like I’m allowed to be someone different whenever that’s how I feel. It feels nice not to have to present a cohesive, singular identity or personality.

Of course I never meant to appropriate a disorder. Right now, I feel extremely guilty. I still don’t want to be wrong. Not having alters would mean I’m all alone again.

I don’t know if this is denial. I’ll probably change my mind again, and think I do have osdd/did again soon.

I just am very upset tonight. I don’t want to be wrong about this. I don’t even want to have DID, yet what I really don’t want is the things that I cannot deny. The things that mess up my life. The changing my mind about everything, including how I feel about loved ones.

Lucy all but destroyed my relationship. And if that was just me, but by a different name, that doesn’t make it any better.

It’s just so stupid that I have a list of 79 names, yet I suddenly think none of them are real.

I don’t know. I don’t know if assuming they’re not real is denying their existence, or whether it’s not pretending to have alters anymore.

I guess I’ll try to see myself as a singlet and see what happens. Most likely someone else will front and call me stupid for saying they aren’t real. Or maybe they won’t because they’re all just me.

I suppose we’ll see.

#did alter #did osdd #did system #actually did #osdd system #osddid #system denial #I want to say I’m poppy #but does that even matter anymore?

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hay1ock · 7 months

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Late as usual lol. Only Friends Episode 9. My heart is full and my anxiety for the next 3 episodes is high lol.

Really enjoyed this episode and was nice to see the main couples kind of moving back toward each other, though seems there’s still a rocky road ahead.

These are my opinions and how I viewed what went down between everyone this episode, but don’t be surprised when I’m not hating on Ray. He’s the character I’m most invested in still.

So, opening with the morning after the night before. I think every character has crossed some sort of boundary at some point throughout the show and certainly Top was amongst those last episode after cuddling up to a passed out Mew. I don’t know how long they stayed like that but I don’t imagine Mew would have reacted quite as well as he did by just finding Top outside fishing cups out the pool. Like Mew says later, I can see his efforts throughout the episode but it did feel a little bit too much at times, especially when Mew’s moms were there too. Maybe let the man breathe and have a chance to sort through his feelings properly.

I’m trying to think more positively about Top as I know he loves Mew. Sometimes you just don’t vibe with characters or even people in real life and there was just something early on that was off-putting about Top. It was those initial interactions that felt possessive over Mew that have left this lingering suspicion about everything he does. I guess from back when he was in full TOP TIER mode and was all Mr Smugface. I appreciate him deciding to not show Mew the video of Sand and Ray. When he was looking at it again when shopping with the moms I was like, for the love of god not now lol. Mew knew he wanted to talk about Ray and probably didn’t need any hints dropping in the end, but I think it did help prompt Mew to open a long overdue conversation with Ray.

Where Top and Mew go from here we’ll have to see with the introduction of Boeing. I figured with Top’s insomnia and sleeping issues he was maybe calling someone to stay over. Now I’m hoping it was just to have a body beside him so he knew he wasn’t alone and could get to sleep. I don’t personally think with all the effort he was putting in Top would risk actually hooking up with anyone else until he was sure there was zero chance of him and Mew ever happening again, but you never know. Plus the fact it’s an ex and a very real possibility his and Sand’s shared ex… not messy at all lol. Hopefully, Mew won’t regret deciding to give him a second chance. Again, I don’t really know how I’d feel if it ever happened to me. There are no feelings on Top’s part toward Boston and yes, Boston dripped poison in his ear. It was before Mew and Top swapped I Love Yous and had sex… I guess the only way to know if he can forgive him is by trying to be with him again. It will either reignite or snuff out completely the lingering feeling of love.

Jumping back to Ray and Sand. The tension between them in that music room scene was just wow. The amount of emotions Sand expressed with his eyes alone was just…First always impresses me.

In the end I feel bad for them both. Sand doing his best to walk away and move on, despite his feelings for Ray, and Ray desperate to hold onto the one person who has made him happy in a long time. Sand has known what Ray is like since their first meeting and yet he still fell for him. He’s seen the bad, the absolute worst, but he’s also seen the Ray who isn’t blackout drunk or high or triggered by his trauma and abandonment issues. It’s up to Sand if he thinks he can handle a person who is dealing with so much baggage. Personally, if Sand is strong enough I want for him to support and continue to love Ray. With him, Ray is so much better, episode 5 showed how good they can be together, and for each other, as Sand also got to have fun and live a little like a student should, not just living to work. Obviously, love isn’t a cure for mental illness and addiction, but thinking that even on the bad days, especially in Ray’s case, that someone can stick around and does love him, then it can make things a little bit easier. I just need Ray to realise there is someone there for him and so it’s now up to him to want to get better. Because Mew’s right, most people do have some kind of limit as to what they can put up with, and Ray is A LOT.

Now, I don’t support cheating and agree that with no context Ray and Top’s action are pretty much as bad as each other. As a viewer, however, I know the relationships of TopMew and RayMew are very different. Top and Mew were supposed to be in love. Top dropped his boyfriend (yep, based on passage of time and what was said in ep 3 and 4, and beyond, I am willing to die on this hill LOL) at home, met up with Boston, got his knickers in a twist over a kiss from 2 years ago and then decided (after Boston twisted the truth a little) fucking Boston was the appropriate response. I just find myself struggling to be as sympathetic about that situation as I am concerning the Ray and Mew and Sand mess. In a way, when Mew says how what Ray did was the same as what Top did to him, I felt as if he maybe saw it how I did - how Sand kind of falls into the role of Mew in this trio’s case. (Ray isn’t doing it behind Sand’s back as such but he is involved in perpetuating a lie about his and Mew’s relationship).

It is Sand and Ray who were in the developing relationship, where feelings of love were being nurtured. Sand had reset them back to friends after episode 5, but it seemed, after the crash, as if they were once again growing closer. But then, in comes Mew. This isn’t to villainize him. He himself was hurt and confused and looking to get away from himself, and probably didn’t think about what it really meant for the two of them if they stepped beyond friends. If he hadn’t questioned Ray’s feelings for him, opened the door to what if, then I feel like Ray would likely have never brought it up himself. He had been told by Mew if he wanted him in his life, he had to give up on thinking of him in a romantic light. However, Mew put it out there. Regardless of his feelings for Sand, Ray would never risk losing Mew, he said it himself during their conversation this episode. If he rejected Mew there’s the fear Mew might be upset, abandon him completely. If he told him there was someone else, about Sand, there’s the risk it would be seen as a betrayal - so you didn’t really love me (Mew) all this time? It was a lie?

I just really sympathise with Ray’s situation, especially when it feels as if his love for Mew has been his one reason for staying alive for the last couple of years (though it seems he’s only recently been living since meeting Sand). Though he was not actively pursuing Mew, being by his side and cherishing him as a friend has been a constant in his life, his purpose, one that was thrown into disarray when Top came into the picture. He’s scared of people leaving him and now he has two important people in his life he can’t let go of.

But in all of this, Sand is who I felt for the most. Sand was the one who had the most emotional investment in the mess. Who was watching the person he liked going back to another man.

Mew was never invested. We knew since last episode he wasn’t. Not kissing Ray when they were alone but doing so in front of Top to spite him. Daydreaming of intimate bookstore dates with Top but not seeming to want to do anything one-to-one with Ray, instead going out and requesting parties. Even this episode, Mew was happy to agree to drink with another man, lock eyes with him over the rim of his glass, get chatted up. It just felt like there should have been the conversation of ‘sure we can talk but my boyfriend will be here soon’ in that moment.

Then we’re at Mew’s place. I understand Ray saying love makes the most sense when used in talking about Mew. He knows he loves Mew vs whatever the hell it is that keeps drawing him back to Sand. Maybe if Mew had phrased it differently a conversation could have started but the word love for Ray at this point only applies to Mew. A kiss leads to things getting handsy and Mew pushing him away. Ray’s despair filled ‘again’, actually kind of hurt. Ray was harsh, frustrated but I believe him when he said it wasn’t only about wanting sex or beating Top. Ray has always seemed like he craves intimacy, be it kisses, sex, simply hugging Sand in the morning, always reaching out and taking hold of Sand’s hand/wrist and wanting a connection. Mew has the right to say no, but I understand Ray seeing it as rejection, why he asked was he that bad? It’s just more proof he’s unlovable. It was like he was begging for Mew to prove him wrong, give him any sign there was anything between them. But Mew stays quiet. Do I wish they could have talked calmly and maybe gotten to the bottom of what they were doing to each other right then? I really do. But instead they go their separate ways.

Sand really did underestimate Ray’s desire to come see him. And no, I don’t think it had anything to do with sex at this point either, despite what I’ve seen a few people think. Oh Mew wouldn’t fuck him so he’s off to Sand. Personally, I felt it was about him wanting his comfort person, the person who shows him intimacy and care. The person who despite Ray turning up at 2am and being pissed off still allowed Ray to cuddle up to him.

Will drop it in here that Sand Ray Nick is the comedy trio I never knew I needed. Nick and Sand were so wholesome this episode and I’m glad they got to have fun, have a little kiss and stick to being the good friends they are.

I’m glad Sand was honest with Ray, finally properly admitting how he feels about him. Ray’s been in an odd limbo with Sand, another reason he was probably scared to make a proper decision between the two of them, because what if he picked wrong and lost both of them. It was cute how Sand helped lead Ray out of the water.

And so, we’re outside the caravan. Ray back in his ‘would anybody really care if I wasn’t here’ mode. I kind of like that he was in Sand’s t-shirt that had WANTED on it. In that moment, Ray really did feel wanted, realising someone would care if he was gone. It was a mixed feeling when he said about following Sand’s dream with him, up til now there’s been no hint Ray thinks about the future. Mew was behind setting up the hostel for him, so it was nice to see him finally think about something, even if it is to accompany Sand on his dreams, rather than declaring them as his own just yet.

Now, do I wish we could have had a clean break with Mew before the beautiful sex scene? Yes, I kind of do. But for Sand’s benefit more than anything else. So, he could be sure Ray was finally choosing him. Because of what we know, the fact RayMew was a sham, that Mew had no feelings invested this time around that could actually be hurt, I personally wasn’t conflicted by Ray and Sand having sex. It really felt as if Ray had made his choice. Their scene together was beautifully done, the love in Ray’s eyes and the gentle kisses after sex as they lay together. I was so happy for them.

And then, for anyone still in doubt about Mew really not giving a fuck, we have the much needed conversation between him and Ray. I’m glad they came out of it still friends and it’s not hard to see why. Neither’s heart was really in it. I like that Ray was able to be honest when prompted. It gave me a similar feel as what happened with Sand at the end of episode 5, except this time he got to talk things through with Mew. I feel as if he doesn’t feel he’s allowed to talk about stuff, or maybe how to open up and start, it was like he wanted Sand to ask questions on that night and so in a way he was relieved when Mew asked and opened up the conversation. His expression seemed to relax, accepting it was time to get everything out in the open. I’m excited and scared where things will go next. Ray was less than convincing in saying he’d talk to a therapist when Mew reminded him. It does seem from the preview he might make a move in that direction, though it seems he’s in his ‘bargaining’ stage of his grief. If he’s going to do something difficult, then so should Sand in meeting his dad. Doing it for someone else rather than himself probably isn’t going to go well, even if he admitted he has problems and was seeking help for himself, the road ahead would be littered with ups and downs, but I’m hoping by the end of the series we can at least leave him (& Sand) on an up.

So, what else for Nick. Well, I suppose there could still be some bedroom kinks for Daddy Dan, but seems the name came from Nick rather than Dan instigating it. It was sweet to see Nick smile and apparently, feel something vs his sparkless attempt at kissing Sand. I hope Dan is a good guy, there is the possible power imbalance due to him being Nick’s boss, but I’d like to think it could work out. I just wonder what the ‘lots of issues’ with his last relationship were. The scene between Nick and Boston was… interesting lol. I’m not sure it needed to be done right then and there in the bathroom but hey, when you’ve gotta go pour out your feelings, you’ve just gotta go. Plus Boston was kind of a captive audience backed into the stall so Nick got to get everything off his chest. It looked as if Boston was slightly moved, and seeing Nick with Dan, it seemed as if he had some sort of regrets. I don’t know if it’s any form of love or like, or it’s more missing just having him around as a friend. They spent a lot of time together it seemed like at the water park and Nick taking an interest in his photography - like has he shared this passion with the people who were supposed to be his friends? So yeah, maybe it’s just having someone around who was constant and a bit more intimate. I guess we shall see…

And speaking of Boston. Good luck when Cheum finds out you shagged her brother. And it does seem Atom is Nick 2.0 the upgraded crazier version. It was interesting to see Boston step back inside the gate when Atom got angry, rarely see Boston being the one to get intimidated and back up. It was only supposed to be a one night stand type of deal, Atom asked for it and though there was a little bit of hesitation, Boston accepted the invitation for sex. I’m actually a little scared for Boston. People can do crazy things when feelings get involved and Atom really doesn’t seem to be handling his well. I’m hoping nothing serious goes down, but when Cheum finds out I’m not sure Boston will be back with the group anytime soon lol.

Is that everything? I think so. This was heavy on the Ray rambling I think lol, though he was in two large chunks of story with Mew and with Sand. I just find his character so interesting. Anyway, I look forward to seeing the three couples’ dynamics next episode as well as how the characters around them play roles in what goes on.

I really do love this show.

#only friends the series #only friends episode 9 #only friends ep9 #Ray fascinates me #I can’t help but love him okay #firstkhaotung #sandray #topmew #forcebook #bostonnick #neomark #only friends ramblings

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xhellfireclubx · 2 years

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HELLS BELLS

A/n: This is the final chapter! Previous chapters below:

Chapter One: The Hoard

Chapter Two: The Cabin in the Woods

Chapter Three: The Pinky Promise

Chapter Four: The Chicken

Chapter Five: The Plan

Hi guys! I’m really excited to post the end for you guys, but I’m also really sad :( I’ve got a few more ideas in my brain, I just got to plan better before I start writing so stay tunedddd! Please send any ideas or requests you may have as well :) p.s. I highly recommend listening to Hells Bells when it comes into the story, adds to the experience :) I have it linked in that specific part of the chapter for you guys!

Word Count: 3.9k words (long one!)

Pairing: Eddie Munson x Fem!Reader (she/her)

Warnings: 18+ only, emotional, graphic descriptions of gore and violence, mentions of blood, panic, language, mature themes, please let me know if I missed any!

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Chapter Six: The Rainbow Room

“Okay so I’ve got salt, a radio, blackout goggles, spear, shield….” Dustin continued to roll off all of the supplies he had packed before rushing over. Your eyes slightly glaze over as your mind begins to wander, listening intently as the sound of rushing water filled the bathtub down the hall. “Nina?” Eddie says, gently rubbing your shoulder. You quickly snap out of your trance, your eyes flickering between Dustin and Eddie as they look at you expectantly.

“I said, are you ready?” Dustin asks you again, holding out the blackout goggles to you. You nod hesitantly before taking them in your hand, knowing this is what must be done. “Hey… Henderson, why don’t you go mix the salt into the water and get everything ready? We’ll just be a second, I want to talk to Nina.” Eddie says, his gaze never leaving you. “Um, okay. But we have FIVE minutes until Nina needs to be in that water, with the goggles on.” Dustin says, holding out five fingers to emphasize the time before walking down the hall and into the bathroom.

Eddie walks to you, taking your chin in his hand, not letting your gaze shift from his. He could read you just as easily as you could read him. He saw your fear…. your nervousness. Something felt off to you… you just weren’t sure why. “Sweetheart, you don’t have to do this. You say the word, and we’ll figure out another way.” Eddie says comfortingly, fear obvious through his gaze as well.

You thought about his words, his dark eyes boring into yours. “There is no other way. Eleven needs me, and I need her.” You say softly, letting a shaky breath escape from your lips. “Do you remember my pinky promise to you?” Eddie asks, his face only inches from yours as his hand slides from your chin to cup your cheek, the calloused pad of his thumb running across your skin lightly; the sensation slowly bringing you back to earth- grounding you in your emotions as your mind rushes back to the first ever pinky promise Eddie had made you.

“I’m not going to let anything happen to you ever again. I can promise you that.” Eddie said, his eyes never leaving yours.

“I meant every word. You are safe, do you hear me? He can’t hurt you.” Eddie says confidently, causing your stomach to turn lightly. “Do you remember our pinky promise?” You ask, wanting to remind him of the agreement the two of you had made. “We’re both getting out of this. Do you hear me?” You ask with a waver in your tone, your eyes brimming with tears at the thought of watching him die again.

Eddie nodded in agreement before wrapping his arms around your waist, pulling you in close and pressing his lips against yours passionately. You melted into his arms, resting your hands against his chest. “Excuse me lovebirds, one minute to showtime!” Dustin calls out to you, poking his head from the doorframe of the bathroom. You and Eddie slowly pull apart, his eyes studying yours as the worry instantly returns to his gaze.

You take Eddie’s hand in yours before leading him into the bathroom, taking in the sight of the bathtub filled with saltwater, two chairs placed by the side for Eddie and Dustin. The sound of empty static fills the room, a radio sitting on the bathroom sink set on an empty station. Slowly, you make your way to the tub’s edge- placing your feet into the salt water one at a time. A shiver runs down your spine as the cold water bites at your skin, numbness slowly overtaking your body as you sink all the way in.

You let out a breath, reclining into the water as you begin to float on your back. Just as you’re about to put the goggles on, you watch as Eddie and Dustin take their seats next to you- Eddie taking your hand in his. “I’ll be right here. You come out if things get too bad, okay?” He asks, rubbing his thumb across your palm. You smile reassuringly to him, although you’re sure it wasn’t too convincing. “Okay.” You say softly before sliding the goggles over your eyes.

Closing your eyes behind the goggles, you find yourself in a dark void. You let out a breath, gathering your courage as you begin to walk forward, not even sure which direction you were actually heading. After walking for what seemed like miles, something makes you stop dead in your tracks. “Nina…” Although the voice seemed miles away, it somehow managed to occupy your entire head and infiltrate every thought simultaneously.

“Who’s there?” You call out into the void, your voice echoing seemingly with no end. After standing still for a few minutes, you began to walk in the general direction you thought the voice had come from. You let out an ear piercing scream as suddenly the ground disappeared from your feet, causing you to free fall through the endless darkness. Eddie and Dustin began to look around the room as the lights started to flicker in a randomized pattern.

“She found him.” Dustin says to Eddie quietly. Eddie let out a sigh as he watched your still body, floating absolutely silently in the water- only the sound of the empty radio static filling the air. You close your eyes in desperation, bracing yourself for impact as you were sure you were going to hit the ground at any moment. Suddenly, the motion stopped- causing your eyes to snap open.

Your eyes begin to burn from the sudden fluorescent light filling the room. As your eyes adjusted, you noticed exactly where you were. The familiar sound of plinko filled your ears, combined with the glide of the small racing toy cars. The rainbow room.

You looked down as your breath began to quicken, your eyes widening as the all too familiar hospital gown was now adorning your skin once again. You felt as if you were going to hyperventilate, wondering how you could’ve possibly ended up here once again.

“Hello, number nine… Or should I call you… Nina?” The familiar grumbling voice filled ears, making your brain feel as if it was buzzing. You slowly lift your gaze, the breath that was set to leave your lungs catching in your throat as you take in the sight in front of you.

Vecna. Or as you had better known him, Peter Ballard. The familiar wet sounds that emanated from the gate to the Upside Down also sounded through the air with each movement Vecna made. Tentacles riddling his skin, each moving independently from the others. “Peter…” Before you could get another word out, tentacles began smashing through the walls, wrapping your arms and ankles tightly- preventing you from making any movement.

“I am NOT Peter.” Vecna says as he begins stalking towards you menacingly. Where was Eleven? She should have been here by now. “You think I don’t know why you’re here? Nine?” Vecna’s deep guttural voice rang out through the air as he brought his face only inches from yours, causing your body to begin to tremble.

“You and Eleven think you have outsmarted me?” He asks, his tone getting more angry before we lets out a low, grumbly chuckle. “Hm.” Vecna mumbled as he drug his gangly nail along your jawline, causing you to whimper in fear. “Such a shame… we could’ve complimented each other so well.” Vecna’s low voice mumbles into your ear. “Now, your friends… must die.” He whispers, his mucus covered skin rubbing against yours as you try to break from the vines.

Eddie and Dustin watched anxiously as you floated in silence. “What’s taking so long?” Dustin groaned, rubbing his forehead with his hand. “DUSTIN WE HAVE A CODE RED-” Mike’s voice rang out through Dustin’s walkie talkie, causing Eddie and Dustin to both jump. “Mike?! Mike?! What’s going on?” Dustin asks as he stands, walking into a different room to talk as to not disturb you.

Eddie hears some words faintly as he strains his ears; “The hive….. attack..” Eddie’s body tensed at the words, hoping his ears had misheard as his gaze never leaves you. Dustin renters the through only a couple minutes later, looking at Eddie with a worried expression. “The hive is at the Wheelers’ house, they’re trying to go after Eleven. She’s fighting it off, but it’s going to take a few minutes before she can go in and help Nina.” Dustin says as he sits back in his chair, his gaze turning to you as well.

“A few minutes?! We don’t have a few minutes!” Eddie exclaimed as quietly as he could, watching as blood trickled from your nose and down onto your lip. Panic was beginning to set in, the feeling of eeriness only growing in Eddie’s stomach.

You sobbed loudly, screaming at Vecna to let you go- only earning you a chuckle filled with nothing but pity. “You think you’re more powerful than me, don’t you Nine? You think you saved your boyfriend?” He asks against your skin, causing you to sob at the mention of Eddie. “DONT TOUCH HIM!” You screamed before spitting in his face, making the room echo with the eruption of his dark and demented laughter.

Your gaze turned from Vecna as you watched Eddie burst through the doors of the rainbow room, his wide eyes looking at you and Vecna in fear before running directly for him. “EDDIE?!” You scream in panic, your eyes widening in horror as Vecna lifts his left hand just before Eddie reaches him, causing Eddie to stop dead in his tracks.

“STOP! GET THE FUCK OFF OF HIM!!” You scream as loud as you possibly can, the vines tightening around your wrists and ankles with your struggle. Tears begin to stream down your cheeks in desperation as you watch Eddie’s big brown eyes roll back into his head, his feet slowly lifting from the floor.

“HENRY! Take ME! If you kill me, you’ll have all of my power. I’ll do whatever you want just please don’t touch him!” You say in desperation, your voice now scratchy from the horrific sobs that were leaving your throat. Vecna slowly turns his head back to you, a sick smile slowly appearing on his face.

Slowly, Vecna lowered his left hand, causing Eddie to lower to the ground before falling down unconscious. You watched his body like an eagle, a slight sigh of relief leaving your lungs as you see him take a breath. “You were always so gullible, number Nine…” Vecna said as he began to stalk towards you once again.

You whimpered in horror as another tentacle slithered around your neck, cutting off your airflow. Eddie and Dustin’s eyes widen in panic as the lights begin to flicker wildly, threatening to burst the bulbs at any second. You began to gasp for air audibly, making the water slosh around your body wildly. “She can’t breathe!” Eddie yells, kneeling beside the tub.

“Nina? Nina? Can you hear me?” Eddie asks, shaking your shoulders lightly. You watch in horror as Vecna’s large monstrous left hand lifts, covering your entire face. “It’s time for your suffering to end Nine.” Vecna says, your eyes slowly rolling back into your head.

Eddie quickly grabbed your arms, Dustin grabbing your feet as they lift you from the tub and sit you on the floor. Eddie screams in horror as he takes your goggles off of your eyes, seeing only the whites of your eyes as your body begins to tremble and shake wildly. “DUSTIN! DUSTIN GET MY GUITAR! HURRY!” Eddie screams, causing the young boy to run from the room, returning only seconds later with guitar in hand.

“Shit, shit, shit.” Eddie mumbles in panic to himself as he stands, quickly wrapping the strap around his body. His brain begins to file through every interaction he’s had with you, scrambling to figure out what song was your favorite. “What are you doing?” Dustin asks in horror, looking at Eddie with worry.

Chime…. Chime… chime… chime…

Chimes began to ring through the air of Hawkins, signaling that Vecna had you in his grasp. “I’m not letting this fucking bitch kill anyone ELSE! We’re taking him to hell.” Eddie says- his words basically burning with rage. The boys’ eyes track your body as you begin to levitate into the air, Eddie’s fingers simultaneously beginning to strum the chords to Hells Bells by AC/DC.

Although he wasn’t positive this was your favorite song, his brain returned to the day you had told him how much you had enjoyed hearing it through the woods. He scrunched his face in worry as he began to play louder, knowing this was his one and only chance.

Dustin let out a screech in fear as your left arm suddenly snapped- your healing arm. Eddie’s eyes brimmed with tears at the sight, anger beginning to boil inside of him as he began to add up just how many things Vecna had taken from him. And now, he was trying to take you too. Eddie’s fingers moved as perfectly against the guitar as possible as he nails every note, his jaw clenching harshly in anger. “Come on… come on..” He mumbles to you quietly, a shallow breath escaping his lips.

You whimper in pain as you feel your left arm break, darkness almost closing in all around you as Vecna’s words grow further and further away.

Your memory returns to the day Dustin had run you down in the woods. You were as nervous as could be, knowing that at any moment you could be killed. Then the soothing, magical sound of Eddie playing his guitar in the distance as you walked through the woods. It created a security blanket for you, reminding you that you were safe as long as he was around. It was like you could hear it all over again..

Suddenly, a white light covers your vision and it was clear- you do hear the music again. “GET OFF OF HER!” You hear a familiar scream before feeling your body crumple to the ground. Eddie and Dustin flinch as the same happens with your physical body. Eddie fought the need to run to you and scoop you up, knowing you surely weren’t out of the woods yet as he continues playing. Slowly everything fades back to normal; an intense pain coursing through your left arm as you groan. After gathering your senses, you open your eyes; your heartbeat quickening at the sight before you.

There stood Eleven, a heavy stream of blood flowing from her nose as she threw him into the wall of the rainbow room, causing him to fall to the floor. Eleven quickly runs to you, helping you up and inspecting your arm. “Are you okay?” She asks quickly, worry clear in her eyes. Before you could answer, you gasp as Eleven screams, watching her get tossed through the air and to the ground. Vecna begins to stalk to you again, your heartbeat quickening as you breathe quickly.

Closing your eyes, you raise your good arm to him. The memory of Eddie’s pain filled expression filled your brain, rage filling up inside your stomach as you let out a loud scream. Eleven joined you as you both began to telepathically fight Vecna. Stars begin to cover your vision as you strain, feeling Vecna’s power battling back just as strong.

Eddie’s guitar slowly begins to fill your ears, causing tears to stream down your cheeks as you realize Eddie is perfectly okay. And you had to make sure it stayed that way. You build your intensity, falling to your knees as you and Eleven battle Vecna, watching as his skin begins to burn away. His loud groans fill every nook and cranny of the room as the walls begin to crumble- turning to ash.

Blood flowed freely from your nose as you gave the battle everything. Every lightbulb left in Hawkins begins to shatter, causing Eddie to only continue his performance with more vigor. “It’s working!” Dustin yells, noticing the blood coming from your nose. “They’re winning!” He yells in excitement.

Just as your vision becomes so spotty that you can hardly see anymore, you watch as Vecna falls to the ground in nothing but ash. Eddie strums the final few chords just as you and Eleven collapse to the ground in unison, groaning in pain at your badly broken arm. After recovering, you lift your head to look at Eleven. She was gone. Everything was. You were left in darkness once again. After struggling to climb to your feet, you began to walk around through the darkness again.

Hawkins began to rumble, causing Eddie and Dustin to fall to the ground as things began flying from the walls. “The cracks… they’re closing!” Dustin says matter-of-factly to Eddie. Eddie lets out a sigh of relief as his gaze turns to you, quickly crawling on his knees to your side.

Panic began to bubble in your stomach as you weren’t sure how to leave… how to wake back up again. Had you gotten lost? How do you find your way back. “Nina?” You hear a faint voice call out to you, causing you to stop dead in your tracks. Was it Vecna? Had he not died? “Nina? Princess? It’s Eddie… If you can hear me just come back to me okay?” Eddie. Your eyes filled with tears once more at the thought of seeing Eddie again. He had saved you. You began running desperately in the direction that you thought the voice had been coming from.

“Eddie?!” You call out, hoping from a response. Nothing. You continued to run, beginning to sob as you start to come to the conclusion that you had gotten lost in the darkness when- “Holy shit! Nina? Hey! Are you okay?” Eddie asks, quickly hugging your soaking wet body that still laid on the floor. You let out a cry in pain as you tried to move your left arm.

“It’s broken.” You say, taking in the unnatural angle that your arm currently laid in. “Oh shit.. fuck okay. You can heal it right?” Eddie asks, carefully taking your broken arm in his hands to inspect it. You nod, thankful he had thought of the idea as you close your eyes, focusing as hard as you could on the pain in your arm.

After a couple minutes of trying, nothing. No frequency, no light, no electricity. You open your eyes, the sight of your broken arm still laying in Eddie’s hands causing your eyebrows to furrow. “It’s not working.” You say simply. “Uhhh, here. Try and lift this radio.” Dustin suggests, pointing to the radio that continued to play empty static. You started intently at it, visualizing what you wanted to happen…. still nothing. No blood had flowed from your nose either. Vecna had stripped you of your strength. Your power.

“Is Eleven okay?” You ask, turning to Dustin- his expression grim as he looks to his hands. “Mike said… she hasn’t woken up yet.” Dustin says in a monotone voice. Sobs began to leave your lips as the realization struck you. She had pushed herself too hard and gotten lost in the darkness. Similarly to what almost happened to you. Except you couldn’t go in and save her anymore. Vecna had made sure of it. Eddie quickly wrapped his arms around you protectively, being extremely careful with your arm as he rocked you slowly in an attempt to console you.

“You guys did it, princess. The splits are gone, the town shifted. The sky is normal again.” Eddie says into your hair, rubbing your back as tears stream freely from your eyes. “You saved me..” You say as you look up to him. “Well I guess we’re even then.” He says back with a small grin, earning a meek smile from you. “You’re a hero.” You say to him, the words meaning more to him than you could ever know.

“I want to go see her.” You say to Eddie and Dustin, who both nod quickly in agreement before Eddie takes your good arm, helping you to stand up onto your feet. The sound of little drips sound as your sopping wet clothes drip salt water. You hurry out of the cabin with Eddie and Dustin right on your heels.

Once you reach the Wheelers’ house, you burst through the door, ignoring the middle-aged man casually sitting on the couch and watching the news, completely unaware to the chaos going on around him. Dustin points you towards the basement, causing you to sprint down the stairs, pushing through the crowd around Eleven.

“Oh..” You say, feeling your heart break at the sight of her. Her lips were blue, eyes closed as if she were in the deepest sleep, and her diaphragm was moving maybe twice per minute. She was lost from her body. You let out a shaky breath as everyone’s eyes bore into the back of your head, watching intently to see what you would do next.

“Can you help her?” Mike asks desperately, grasping Eleven’s hand in his tightly. “I’m going to try.” You say honestly, lifting your broken arm as you wince. Eddie grabs your shoulder quickly, stopping you from moving it further. “No, no, Nina. You can’t. You can’t.” Eddie repeats worriedly, scanning the people standing around him, feeling a little embarrassed to be so soft for you in front of everybody.

“I have to try. She would for me.” You respond, causing him to look to the ground in thought before letting out a sigh in resignation. “Be careful.” He mumbles before stepping back to allow you some room. You lift your broken arm again, placing your broken hand as flatly to Eleven’s chest as possible as you whimper in pain.

You close your eyes, tuning everyone else out. You bite the inside of your cheek harshly as you focus harder than you have before. “The clearer your intention, the more effective the outcome.” Papa’s voice rang through your mind repeatedly. You open your eyes after a few minutes in anger, not feeling anything. But instead of seeing everyone, you were once again alone… surrounded by dark.

“Eleven?! EL?!” You yell out repeatedly. “It’s Nina! I know you can hear me, okay? You’re lost in the darkness! I need you to try and follow my voice! I can lead you out, just come to me!” You call out into the void, your voice echoing with each word. “I’m right here! I’m not going anywhere until I find you!” You yell again, hoping desperately for a response.

“Nina! Nina!” Eddie says, shaking your shoulders as he’s leaning over you. Only a few seconds after being in Eleven’s mind, you had collapsed. Your brain begins to spin, groaning at the motion. You wake up to the worried expressions of those around you, groaning in pain at your arm as it throbbed excruciatingly. “What happened? Did I save her?” “You collapsed.” Eddie says, helping you to sit up as he shakes his head grimly. “No more. I’m not watching you try to kill yourself anymore.” Eddie says in a dark tone, sick of watching you be put in danger.

“Nina…” You hear a soft voice say, causing everyone to turn. Eleven’s arm was now meekly outstretched to you as her eyes were squinting. You stand up, ignoring the unbalance still in your legs as you rush over to Eleven, taking her hand with your good one. “You’re okay, you’re out. We did it.” You say softly to her, her lips curling in a smile.

“I heard you.” She says simply, causing you to smile now as well. “It’s over now.” You say to her, watching as she turns to Mike. Letting them have their moment, you turn to Eddie, wrapping your good arm around his neck loosely.

He smiles to you, pressing a kiss to your forehead. “I told you, I take pinky promises very seriously.” Eddie says with a chuckle before pressing a kiss to your lips.

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Thank you for reading,

HELLS BELLS

#Spotify #eddie munson #eddie munson fanfic #eddie munson x reader #stranger things 4 #stranger things fanfiction #eddie munson fix it fic #eddie munson stranger things #eddie munson x you #eddie munson fluff

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moljh · 2 years

Text

Unbelievable / Steve Harrington x Reader

Part 3

Summary - Y/N Hargrove, the twin sister of Billy Hargrove. People liked to make their assumptions, whisper and point as you went past, but they didn’t know what happened behind closed doors. The slamming doors, raised voices and poorly hidden bruises. Hawkins was meant to be different, somehow a new start from your old life left behind in California. That’s when the headaches started, the nightmares that felt so real, the unexplainable events and blackouts.

*trigger warning - mentions of abuse*

fluff, slowburn, flashbacks, etc.

part 1 part 2

Edited: currently unedited

Tuesday, July 2

The wooden door creaked open as you quietly walked back into your empty living room. Sharon and your father were clearly somewhere for the day which was a relief as you didn't need anymore trouble added to this morning. You made your way back into your bedroom and slumped onto your unmade bed. The air was thick with humidity and you wished that you could've afforded to have a house with ceiling fans.

You ran your tongue over your lips and frowned at the taste of the remnants of the night prior. Lifting yourself up, you made your way towards you bathroom and huffed with frustration at the bathtub that Billy hadn't been bothered to empty and was filled with used ice bags. Filtering out the wet plastic, you threw them into the trash bin and watched the water slowly drain from the blue coloured tub.

The shower had been a welcomed cleanse, you always felt it washed you free of everything, both literal and metaphorical. The water had always been a form of comfort for you since you were little. Your mother used to take you and Billy to the beach when you lived in California, whilst Billy preferred to head out into the dark surf, you would sit on the soft sand and wade in the shallow water. You only had one photo of your mother, it was a small picture that was faded and worn on the edges. She was smiling at whoever was taking the photo and tucking her long blonde hair behind one ear. People used to comment that you two looked alike and only now as you had gotten older did you see the resemblance. You often wondered what she was doing, whether she ever thought about you and Billy and the life you have now without her. In the beginning you had both tried in desperation to call, but as time went on Billy gave up and so did you. It was only evident to you as you got older why she had left, she hadn't been able to handle with the constant berating and abuse of your father but you still couldn't understand how she could've just left her children with the man she was so scared of herself.

You threw on a random pair of shorts and a t-shirt, not entirely sure what to do with yourself for the day. You could message one of the girls, but you weren't really in the mood for their company and the appearance you would have to muster to be in their presence. They were all fine, completely harmless but just so exhausting and constant. The loud ring of the phone pulled you from your thoughts and you waited a moment as you heard Max answering it. There was nothing for a moment and then some thuds and shuffling followed signalling that Max and her friend were getting up.

"Y/N" Max suddenly appeared in your doorway with an inquisitive look on her face "would you be able to drop El and I to Mike's house?" "Yeah sure" "Great, thanks" she smiled back at you, "ok to leave in 5 minutes?"

You nodded in response and quickly grabbed a pair of shoes. It felt nice that Max had even thought to ask you, she often just resorted to riding her bike or skateboard everything, but you supposed since she had a friend with her she probably thought you taking them would be easier. Grabbing your keys, you and the two girls made your way to the car and you began the drive to the Wheeler's house.

"Do you guys need a ride home later?" you asked as you pulled up at the curb and they scrabbled out of the back seat "No we'll be fine, thanks y/n I'll see you back home" Max replied before quickly running off with El down the side of the Wheeler's house where they usually went off to

You let out a little sign and turned back out of the street, watching the people and houses of the neighbourhood you had grown quite familiar too. You could remember the first time you had dropped Max off here one random Halloween night where she jokingly swore she wouldn't get murdered by the strange boys she'd just met.

Wednesday, October 31 1984

School had been just another day filled with one class after another, taking notes and occasionally making conversation with whoever you were seated next to that period. Clutching your books to your chest you made your way over to your locker, which you were still trying to remember the code for, clearly evident by the numbers scrawled on the back of your hand.

"You're the new girls right?" a girl suddenly asked appearing next to your locker "Yeah..." you replied "and you are?" "I'm Tina" she replied eagerly "I'm having a party tonight and you should definitely come" she informed you, handing over an orange piece of paper. She hovered for a few more moments and you could tell there was something else she wanted to ask you. "Is there anything else I can help you with Tina?" you remarked "Do you know if your brother is coming?" there is was, the true reason she had bothered to come and introduce herself to you, not to get to know you, but to ensure the thing that was currently at centre of all the girls desires was in fact coming to her little house party "I don't know" you replied truthfully "probably, if there's free booze, he'll definitely be there"

Tina was visibly happy with your answer as she let out a nervous giggle and trotted away. Rolling your eyes, you grabbed what you needed from your locker and slammed it shut, making your way to your next class.

You could hear the music from the street when you arrived, clearly the party was already in full swing. Billy had left a while before you, meaning you had had to drop Max off to go trick or treating with some kids she met at school. You hadn't minded truthfully, you and Max got along fine and you preferred taking her over trusting Billy. Making your way inside the house, you enjoyed the attention you got and the eyes that followed you across the room. Your costume left little to the imagination, wearing nothing but a black leotard, cropped grey sweatshirt and legwarmers. You had decided to go as Alex Owens from Flashdance since it was the simplest outfit you could come up with one short notice. Moving through the centre of the room which had clearly been chosen as the dancefloor, you watched as your brother and his new lackies marches towards a couple that had come in moments after you. Billy's name was being chanted in the background as he confronted the other guy who was dressed in all black and sunglasses, you huffed at the basic macho faceoff between the two and went to get yourself a drink

There weren't many options, some bowl of red liquid or beer, you couldn't stand beer, so you took your luck with whatever mystery drink had been mixed together in the glass bowl in front of you. Moving to the edge of the room you looked around at the people either dancing, drinking or making out. The party was pretty dull compared to what you were used to back in California but you weren't complaining, in that moment you were looking to party too hard, having only been in Hawkins for a couple of days.

A couple of guys tried to come up and talk to you throughout the nights, but had swiftly given up when their advances were reciprocated and moved on to easier targets. You finished the contents of your cup again, having lost count of how many times you had re-filled it. Moving back towards the source of your drink, your attention was brought upon the couple that had come in after you earlier that evening. The two of them seemed to be in some sort of argument, as a cup; the same as yours, was tussled between the two before being thrown down the front of the girl who unfortunately was wearing a white top. A audible gasp was heard throughout the room and quickly fell into a brief moment of silence, before the girl scrambled off and headed towards the bathroom. The guy, who was clearly her boyfriend quickly followed after, obviously desperate to make up for the accident.

As everyone fell back into noise of before, you carefully watched the door that lead into the bathroom, intrigue encouraging you to watch. A couple of moments later, the guy marched out and slammed the door behind him. You knew that you shouldn't interfere but another part of you was still curious, so you placed you cup on the kitchen counter and headed outside.

The cool October night air hit you and a shiver swept over your body. Glancing around you saw a figure perched on one of the lone patio benches off to the side, with their head hung and hands resting of his knees. He starred off in front of him as he pulled a cigarette from his pocket and you watched as he put it between his lips and set it alight.

"Hey" you said approaching him causing his head to whip around toward you, "Steve, right?" already knowing the answer "Yeah" he replied grazing his eyes up and down you "and you are?" "Y/N" you paused for a moment "can I join you?" You didn't wait for an answer before sliding in next to him. In the fresh night air, you could feel the body warmth wafting off of him and the glow from the end of the cigarette highlighted his face nicely. "Rough night?" You tried to initiate some form of conversation "Yeah... Kind of... You?" "Ah not really, just a little bored"

Steve turned to look at you and you could see something within his eyes trying to figure you out. Looking right back at him you reached up slowly and plucked the cigarette from his lips, bringing it to your own and taking a long drag. He chuckled a little at the act and took another from his pocket, allowing you to keep the one you had stolen. The two of you sat there in silence blowing the smoke out into the air. Reaching the butt of it, you flicked it to the ground and stamped it out against the concrete with the toe of your heel.

"So Steve..." you began without fully knowing what you were going to say next "what's a nice guy like you doing sitting out here all on his lonesome?" "Technically I'm not alone, you're out here with me... and I'm pretty sure my girlfriend just broke up with me" he informed you whilst putting out his own cigarette "Well that's a shame" you said slowly, turning towards him "you seem like a pretty nice guy... handsome too"

You gentle placed a hand on high thigh and glanced up at his face to gage his expression. You noted as he licked his lips and edged closer to you, instead of drawing away. His eyes dropped to your lips and you felt his hand slowly graze your shoulder and grip the back of your neck. He held you there for a second, as if contemplating his next move and then he pulled you in, bringing your lips to his own. You could taste the tobacco, alcohol and desperation on his lips as he wrapped his hand gripped your neck tighter, pulling you in closer. You deepened the kiss and ran your fingers through his hair pulling his head back, exposing his neck. Running your mouth down his neck, he let out a gentle moan which only made you keep going. You could feel his hands moving up your bare legs and to your surprise they weren't soft like you had expected, rather slightly calloused. In between moans and gasps one of you must have mentioned a car, because slowly you managed to climb into the back of his BMW. The windows of the car began to fog up as you both continued to roam each other is desperate exploration. As he pushed up into you, you let out a pornographic moan which caused him to quicken his pace. Gripping onto him, you ran your nails down his bare back, not caring about the marks you were likely leaving.

He was gentle and yet rough, just a perfect blend. You didn't care if anyone walked past the car, the heat within meant you couldn't see through the windows. You gripped his broad shoulders as he pressed his face into the crook of your neck and let out one final groan and pulled himself off of you. Sitting up on the back leather seats of his car, you slipped your clothes back on in silence as he did the same. Trying your best to tame your hair, you opened the car door and got out.

“Thanks” you said bending back down into the doorway vehicle

Steve merely looked back at you with bewilderment and confusion, and gave a slight nod. Shutting the door, you glanced back over to the house where the party was still going and smirked when you saw the enraged face of your brother standing just inside looking at you. You never felt any sort of shame when it came to sleeping around, it was the same back in California before you left. There was also a part of you however that enjoyed how much it pissed of your brother as well. He always wanted to control what you could do and who you could even talk to, so you often went out of your way to anger him. You supposed there was a time when you did truly care for one another as normal siblings do, but that hadn’t been for many years now.

#stranger things #stranger things 3 #steve harrington x reader #steve harrington x y/n #Billy Hargrove #Max Mayfield #eddie munson #eddie munson x reader #fanfiction #y/n #stranger things series

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