#we're not serious to begin with

[steelthroat]

Please Hasbro let the Shattered Glass version of Hardtop be named Softbottom. Please please please please!!!!! PLEASE, HASBRO I'M BEGGING YOU!!!!

#yes I'm a very mature individual #tf earthspark #come on guys this would be funny #maccadams #like- sir you named someone Hard-fucking-Top #we're not serious to begin with #transformers #shitposting #transformers earthspark #steel rambles #seriously I still can't wrap my head around tf name #fkn Hardtop I'm telling ya #mf destroyed bumblebee's voice box #then this is retconned and is now Megatron who did it #he had it rough in the comics #then he also loses his arm in tfe #PrayForHardtop #maccadam #shitpost #AH I FORGOT HE'S SWINDLE'S BROTHER

[poisonousquinzel]

"a dude in Texas legally changed his name to "Literally Anyone Else" and he's attempting to run for President against Biden & Trump" [source]

okay, but putting aside the comedic aspect of this, it is concerning the amount of people who are prompted to vote for candidates just because it's funny. I'm not the biggest fan of how his policy about the boarder sounds [Site], but I do implore anyone who is able to vote in the 2024 US election to please research other candidates.

The media is only going to continue pushing the idea it's inevitably going to be Trump vs Biden 2.0 and we have no other options, that we have to vote for Biden again because of Project 2025. Is that whole thing terrifying?

Yeah, fucking absolutely.

But voting for Biden will not solidify our safety from that. Biden is exactly like the rest of them. He always has been. You can't make the lesser of two evils argument when they're both just plain evil.

You cannot say that Biden is even mildly a better choice than Trump when he is currently directly involved in a genocide. That is not some little fucking thing. That in and of itself disqualifies him as a lesser evil. Biden is just as bad as him and he will not save us because he doesn't fucking care.

Cornel West [Site] is an Independent candidate running for President in the 2024 Election. [Policies]

Claudia De la Cruz and Karina Garcia [Site] are running for President and Vice-President as the candidates of the Party for Socialism and Liberation in the 2024 Election. [Policies]

There are options.

There are people trying to change the corrupt foundation our system is built on, but we have to help amplify them because the mainstream media will not.

#have you looked at what's happening in New York & the subways #There's so many reported shootings and deaths and it just seems to be getting worse. #I just looked up subway shooting ny because I wanted to check before saying something #There's reports from like 3 hours ago about someone getting pushed in front of one of the moving subways & there's so many others #or how about the like thousands of police officers that they've got stationed at subways in ny literally doing fuck all #or how everyone's going through a housing crisis and cant afford rent and cant get medical care because it can cost #$4000 to get a fucking ambulance and that's cheap. That's a ride to the hospital less than 20 minutes away probably. #or the rise in hate crimes and bigotry and all the shit they're now trying to censor with the kosa bill #or how terrifying places like Florida have became for anyone thats not seen as an equel by people who dont view most others as equels. #or how they're pouring billions into wars while we're in the midsts of a homeless crisis #suicide rates are at record levels in the us and it's only going to get worse. theyre pulling telehealth which will take away #life saving medical care for people who dont have the ability to go in person. people's ability to get therapy and meds being taken away #Is going to kill people. or how the Biden administration has fucked up their Covid response so goddamn badly #people are referring to the pandemic in past tense and have lost understanding for others who they'd have understood before #they've lied and they've concealed and its killing millions of people and disabling even more. but they will not take accountability. #long covid is ruining people's lives and they've successfully led the narrative that its not real or not that serious. #they will sit there and they will lie. they will say they've protected women's rights and that its a top priority. #they'll say that healthcare is a top priority but have suggested that they'd veto a healthcare for all bill because of its price tag #but will spend billions and billions and billions on a genocide that the majority is against. the system isn't going to begin collapsing #it already is. #its crumbled and we must demolish the corrupt remains and rebuild a better government that gives a shit about people #ALL people. #they use basic human rights as bargaining chips. #the Democrats and Republicans on a Venn diagram is a circle. wake up.

[jaguarys]

"Disney killed Star Wars" Have you seen the holiday specials. Have you seen them

#anyways sorry you're free to feel how you like. but it's just really funny to me how people have been saying the exact same thing since rotj #i reserve the right to make fun of disney haters. shhhh #for the record. have you seen the prequels #it's been dead since the beginning and we're beating its body. it's ok. pass the fanfiction #anyways i'm vibing don't take any of this shit serious #i'm saying words recreationally ya feel me #fandom: star wars #type: shitpost #star wars #sw #sw prequels #sw meme #star wars prequels #star wars legends

[fitheghosty]

you cannot tell me that karnak didn't have a weird dream of becoming a theater director. like, he seemed too excited at the fact the he could throw teenagers around like puppets with the ability to make them do whatever choreo he's conjured up for them. average little old talking fortune teller machine's don't do that y'all

#this is like /hj #but also I'm serious bc it's all clicking now djcjjf #ALSO. CAN WE TALK ABOUT THOSE SPECIFIC POWERS FOR A SECOND CAUSE. WHAT?? #that's just a thing we're supposed to accept at like the very beginning of the show #just like 'yep karnak can control the kid's vocal talking/singing & their movements :D' #I'M JUST LIKE HUH?? CAN WE BACK TRACK?? WHAT??? #ik he has other powers but omg these ones fascinate me way too much #ride the cyclone #ride the cyclone musical #rtc #musicals #musical theater #off broadway #musical theatre #theater kid #fandoms #off broadway theater #off broadway musicals #karnak rtc #the amazing karnak

[fullhalalalchemist]

The only thing that won't make people feel insane as the West continues to collapse and brings the rest of the world down with it is the collectivist ideologies of traditional sunni islam

#reading about sufism has me feeling a certain way #'hope is something you build not feel' i tell myself while spitting up blood #im so serious too #what else do people have to lose? we're literally in the beginning of the Era of Collapse #and the only reason I feel calm is because i knew it was coming

[zikadraws]

🐡 Random (semi-serious) Splatoon Headcanon : 🐡

No one in the Seafolk population ever get hiccups because they're all fish

Though maybe they have a reverse equivalent that consist of choking on air, after subconsciously trying to treat their gills like lungs (instead of the opposite for us mammals)

#I read somewhere that we get hiccups because the subconscious part of our brain accidentally think we're still fish #from even before we crawled on land to begin our evolution #and subsequently sends a signal that would tell our gills to do their jobs. but. we no longer have gills. so the diaphragm gets confused #and does that odd hiccup thing #so actively reminding our brain that we're no longer fish can sometimes work to stop the hiccups apparently #weird and I don't know how true that is so. that's why 'semi-serious' #anyway #splatoon #splatoon headcanon #splatoon theory #speculative biology #mayhaps

[mariocki]

Edward Woodward guest stars as Jack Liskard, Prime Minister of an unspecified African country and the target of multiple assassination attempts, in The Saint: The Persistent Patriots (5.15, ITC, 1967)

#fave spotting #edward woodward #callan #the saint #the persistent patriots #1967 #david callan #classic tv #eddy is the named guest star for this episode but actually he wasn't really the household name he would become at this point #in fact this ep was the first Saint episode to air in the uk in 1967 on January 6th‚ setting off a banner year for Woodward that would #be the making of his career. he'd done a few guest spots (Sergeant Cork and Mogul among them) and yes he'd had some stage success #but 67 was his year; around the same time as this Saint appearance he could be seen on the BBC's celebrated drama strand Theatre 625 as the #lead in a multi episode adaptation of Evelyn Waugh's Sword of Honour‚ and almost exactly a month later he'd be making his first screen #appearance as Callan in the Armchair Theatre pilot A Magnum for Schneider‚ the beginning of tv immortality and bigger and better things for #the actor. here he's... well he's serious and he's sullen (two of Ed's strengths as an actor) in a role which.. is FINE on the surface but #absolutely begs some deeper questions. he's the prime minister of an unnamed African country‚ in London to negotiate the independence of #said country from the UK. it's.. a complicated issue (which this single Saint episode absolutely fails to address but I'd have been truly #astonished if it had). i mean yes we're all anti colonialism here of course (even if Simon does seem suspiciously morose about the prospect #of losing another colony in his opening voice over‚ he at least appears to be on Eddy's side through the episode) but there's a kind of #deafening silence throughout this ep: Ed is of course white. his various ministers and other government officials who oppose him are all #also white. the titular 'patriots' who oppose him and make attempts on his life and to prevent the process of independence are all white #the most obvious comparison to be drawn (and presumably the main inspiration for the character) is Rhodesian prime minister Ian Smith #who had led the white minority government of what is now Zimbabwe from 1964 and had been involved in similar negotiations with the british #government (that fell apart in late 65 as Smith's government announced Rhodesia's unilateral independence; the country then became an #unrecognised state subject to economic sanctions that lasted more than a decade). the thing is‚ Smith was a racist piece of shit; the whole #reason those negotiations broke down was because of his refusal to secure black representation in Rhodesia's governance #which makes the complete absence of any black characters in this episode a major red flag. but Ed's character isn't presented as the #villain of the piece; the episode is adamant that the work he's doing is selfless and for the betterment of his country‚ and it isn't as if #Smith was a particularly popular figure in the uk at this point for the ep makers to be painting a positive portrait of him. idk #it's messy. at best tone deaf and at worst.. well. i wish Ed had had a better ep to guest star in that's all im saying

[oveliagirlhaditright]

What’re your favorite kh ships?

If I'm being honest... I really only true ship SoKai these days (my forever OTP). Mainly because I feel like that's the only one I can really ever see actually being canon (well, aside from Yozora and Nameless Star, and I also ship them: a lot of that for Versus XIII reasons. My heart won't let go). And, I mean, not that a ship needs to be canon for me to ship them. Not at all. But I'll admit that I've grown out of some of the KH ships a wee bit, as I've found more adult ones in other fandoms to get invested one.

That being said, the KH ships that I do still care about are:

SoKai

RokuShi

Namiku

RokuNami

Terqua (though it seem these days the kids call it Terrqua. Or Terraqua?)

Gulava

Skulmera

Playerlitzia

YozoraNameless Star

Xehaqus

AkuSai

SoRiKai

RiKai

Roxiri (though not in canon. More in fanon. More for crack, kind of, actually. And friendship first and foremost)

I'm warming up to Replinami some these days, because of the tragedy of it all.

I've also started to warm up to Rion a wee bit... that past Shanna thought she'd never see.

SoNami in CoM only.

I could do XionRoxasNaminé. NamiXI, too.

VenAqua slightly, but I'd always choose Terra and Aqua over it (but one thing about the Wayfinder Trio for me, if I'm being truthful, is that I prefer the three of them as friends before any romance with any of them. Part of me even really thinks all three of them are truly just meant to be friends.)

A lot of people ship Ven and Strelitzia for some reason. And I doubt it'll ever happen, tbh. Who knows if they'll ever even really get a chance to meet and be friends. But I do get why they think it'd be cute.

And while I don't know if I truly ship them anymore, a part of me will always have a soft spot for Ventus and Naminé. Because for some reason, I really used to ship this crack pairing, back in the day.

I also don't really know if I ship them... but despite what I said above, I do get the feeling that Nomura might be doing something with Lauriam/Marluxia and Elrena/Larxene.

#i used to LOVE vanaqua and vannami. and some of my heart probably always will for that reason (mainly the former). but for the most part i #think i'm over it #i also used to ship ephemer and ava a tiny bit. but i'd pick gulava any day #i also used to get into olette pairings. but tbh. i just can't really be bothered anymore #i also used to somewhat ship ira and invi because of that comment in back cover about them having to see each other less now so the others #wouldn't get the wrong idea (because taken out of context it sounds like they're dating). or aced and invi because they reminded me (and #everyone) of terra and aqua. but i was never really serious about those to begin with and have let them go. -shrugs- #really. at the end of the day. it's sokai. forever and always: sokai #asked and answered #and really the main ones for me are sokai rokushi namiku rokunami and terqua #but mostly sokai -i say. sounding like a broken record- #and while we're mentioning everything (because somehow that's what this post turned into) i used to be big on larxel (like khii days) #but not for many--MANY--years #wait. i do like gulava a lot too. and rikai. because riku and kairi--in whatever form they're in--don't get enough love #there's also a tiny bit of me that ot3s eraqusxehanortvor. xehaqus is the otp and they're perfect together: i know and agree with this #and yet they have an interesting dynamic with vor. i feel like before dark road started they were the SLIGHTEST bit of a trio. not truly #because xehanort and eraqus still spent way more time together but it was there a little bit #and it's interesting to me that eraqus. of all people. gets annoyed at vor snooping on them some at the beginning of dark road #before the game came out if you told me something like that would have happened i would have guessed it was xehanort. but nah. it's eraqus #and xehanort moreso telling him to chill and letting vor tag along (and the eraqus thing wasn't really serious. and more in good fun #because he DOES care about her). and then they're both DEVASTATED when she dies. and vor really cared about them #also a slight ot3 with xehanorteraqusurd because despite what i just said about vor it's URD they spend the most time with in dark road and #i like their dynamic with her too. -shrugs- #vanikai a smidge back in the day

[libraryofruinaofficial]

Hands-down the most useful tip for anyone trying to figure out how divisions of astral, etheric, spiritual, etc. work (especially in relation to the mechanics of magic, the paranormal, the supernatural, etc.) is acknowledging that they all have phases and states of "matter" affected by levels of energy like the physical does, and that those phases and states will affect their own "matter type" differently than they will affect others depending on those energy levels.

#we're still trying to do a big long breakdown of this but so far the hardest part has been figuring out those interactions #the mad mage muses #theoreticals and interpretations #magical theory #now realizing we'll also have to get more firm definitions of things like plane realm etc. #this is also why discussions of vital energy are confusing and also a pain #in our system we do utilize the notion of overlap or transitional states between groups #so like there's a mid phase between physical and astral a mid phase between physical and etheric and even mid phases between more than 2 #and our current working theory is your vital energy will likely be a unique mix #most normal mundane humans seem to have physical-dominant etheric mix vital energy #on occasion astral or spiritual if they're visionary-types or religious and they're serious about it #but that's why you'll get a lot of psyvamps who don't care for that taste #athletic-types are either the best or the worst of normal humans btw because they either accidentally pull more etheric in (best) #or drive it all into the physical (worst) #actual nonhumans and legit magical practitioners seem pretty unique and variable since they pull from several places actively/natively #we couldn't even begin to tell you what the fuck ours is since it's mostly library data #which has its own periodic table/hexadecimal base coding type deal. it's insane and can arrange itself to mimic damn near anything

[welivefast-dieyoung]

They simply do not make them like Marlon Brando in the 50's anymore 😩

#scribblesbyc #marlon brando #no bc I'm still trying to figure out how that man looked like that?? #like WHAT #the actual fuck #was going on??? #I can't even begin to explain how crazy this man is to me of we're being serious

[amandabe11man]

when eugene tooms is so creepy and gross that between him and that sewer monster from “the host”-ep, me and my friend would pick the sewer monster to cuddle with

#the x-files #(we're rewatching it from the beginning) #tooms' defense lawyer you were prolly a good guy but you're so fucking stupid #tooms can only act somewhat normal in the courtroom but even then just barely #once in the outside world he doesn't even try #he's not normal you can't converse with him i'm sorry #there are no cognitive thoughts in his head at all #anyway. the sewer monster? he did nothing wrong actually #bro doesn't even know what's going on he just wants to go back to the ocean!!!!! #meanwhile fbi's being all serious about giving the monster a psych evaluation.... about prosecuting it #i'm laughing #(ngl tho i would watch that too)

[yusukenui]

.

#ranting again sry #spoiled mfs when their parents stop giving them their weekly 200$ allowance at their grown age of 22: 🥺🥺 my parents are such assholes #some of you mfs make this empathy/sympathy bs a journey instead of a ride #not to sound like a parent meatrider but if youre old enough to be out buying insanely expensive clothes and eating n drinking at hangouts #every other day... and then you go home just to rinse ur dick n sleep and dont even have the courtesy to do chores.... #youre lucky they even let you live with them still 🙁 sry. my black ass wouldve kicked you out ages ago 🙏🫡 #like we're definitely on different tax brackets cause i cant even imagine complaining abt my parents taking me out to a family trip?? #and much less going out of country????? #but then agreeing to entertain them for a while... yknow spend time with them? is too much for you??? like be grateful in some way at least #you ugly motherfucker wowwww WOWW #if youre old enough to have expensive hobbies and you refuse to help out in the house then youre old enough to get a fucking job and stop- #complaining abt your parents being 'mean' to you .. bitch ill show you mean #AHHHH tiktok was a mistake #white ppl on tiktok need to stfu abt their 'healing journeys' after cutting off their families cause its always some bs like this #why the fuck are you even getting an allowance if you cant even wash dishes my god. are you being paid fucking reparations for being born?? #hate complaining to a mf that just immediately insults ur parents like... thats not something normal ppl do.. 💀 #who told you calling my mom a bitch was okay lmfaooo like... im just complaining cause im drained.. what do you have to be mad abt? #me canceling plans a fucking week in advance??? and then what and then you just roll over and go back to sleep #like it never was that serious to begin with 😐... dont piss me off #when i say eat the rich... start with your buddies that god a brand new fucking car for college spontaneously #toodles 😜☺️ #AHHHHHH

[evilgayfish]

feeling that level of work burnout where not only am i burnt out on my current job, i can’t imagine any job in any industry being any better.

#gay and obscure nonsense #still don't have enough vets to meet client demands still training an idiot who can't take criticism #still the only para staff who's consistently on time #now with the added benefit of being the only credentialed tech so i have to take as many tech appointments as possible #to spare our one (1) remaining vet from having to do so many vaccines she doesn't have time for anything else #and now with one fewer competent coworker :( #we're hiring and our candidates seem promising but our training 'process' is an absolute free for all mess #in which trainees are scheduled as if they're already fully trained so we don't have enough people to train them AND do regular work #so it's gonna get worse before it gets better lmao #and god knows how long it'll be before we can get another vet #corporate is trying to get us one ASAP but there's a serious nationwide shortage of vets in general #especially vets who want to work in a clinical setting #only light in the dark is that our new regional management seems to be actually good and supportive for once #we met with them yesterday and i didn't feel dead inside afterwards which is very new #when i started it was the very beginning of the pandemic so my only experience with regional management was zoom calls #in which they told us to work harder while they sat on their couches at home completely safe from covid #while we risked our actual literal lives for this shit #then those people got fired and we kinda just never heard from the people who replaced them #so this is definitely an improvement. let's hope it lasts lmao

[arminsumi]

🔞 / 𝐌𝐢𝐧𝐨𝐫𝐬 𝐃𝐍𝐈 / 𝐀𝐝𝐮𝐥𝐭𝐬 𝐨𝐧𝐥𝐲 / 𝟏𝟖+

𝐅𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐬 𝐖𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐁𝐞𝐧𝐞𝐟𝐢𝐭𝐬 𝐒𝐚𝐭𝐨𝐫𝐮

𝐒𝐚𝐭𝐨𝐫𝐮 is a strange friend.

You can share anything with him — completely confide in him. Spend nights curled up on his chest crying about things in your past that you can't change as he genuinely listens, sometimes stroking your hair.

Ending up kissing him once, twice, more, with a cheap excuse each time, desperate to convince yourselves that you're just friends.

It was a dare. It was one time at a party. I was drunk. You were drunk. We were both drunk. Oh, that time? We were experimenting.

Well, next thing you know, you're in between Satoru's sheets. And he's smiley, cracking jokes, acting casual and as if he didn't just let you cum all over his abs.

Anyone breaks your heart, Satoru's there for you; so is his dick. He always says there's nothing a good 'pillow fight' can't fix. Or is that just his excuse to sink 7.8 inches deep into you? Probably. The way he slides into your soft pussy, there's nothing platonic about it. He started out fucking you like a friend just needing to release tension, but now he's beginning to fuck you like he's your man.

Satoru stubbornly insists that you and him are platonic. That you're just casually fucking in his shower, that it's just a funny experiment if he wants to control your vibrator in public.

"No, we're just friends." he shrugs. "What? Do friends not typically cum on each other's faces? Weird."

"Be serious, Satoru. What are we?" you ask one day. "Sometimes I feel like you like me."

He goes silent, hands behind his head and smug look erased. No reply.

𝐒𝐚𝐭𝐨𝐫𝐮, who is your 'friend' and is also uncontrollably attracted to you and wants to try creampie you until you fall in love with him. Maybe if he fills you enough, you'll think he's as irresistible as he thinks you are?

© 𝐚𝐫𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐢

#🥡.takeout #smut #gojo #mdni #gojo x reader #gojo smut #fwb #fwb au #jjk smut #gojo satoru #satoru x reader #satoru smut #satoru gojo #satoru x you #jjk gojo #jujutsu gojo #satoru #jujutsu kaisen #jujutsu kaisen smut #fem reader #x reader #reader insert

[bisexualbaker]

Why do people keep recommending Dreamwidth as a Tumblr alternative, when Dreamwidth and Tumblr are so different?

To be flat-out honest, it's because Dreamwidth has so many things that Tumblr users say they want, even if it's also lacking a lot of features that Tumblr users have come to love:

Dreamwidth has incredibly lax content hosting rules. I'd say that it's slightly more restrictive than AO3, but only just slightly, and only because AO3's abuse team has been so overwhelmed and over-worked. Otherwise, the hosting policies are pretty similar. You want to go nuts, show nuts? You can do that on Dreamwidth.

In fact, Dreamwidth is so serious about "go nuts, show nuts", it gave up the ability to accept transactions through PayPal in 2009 to protect our ability to do that. (It's also one reason why Dreamwidth doesn't have an app: Dreamwidth will never be beholden to Apple's content rules this way.)

Dreamwidth cares about your privacy; it doesn't sell your data, and barely collects any to begin with. As far as I'm aware, it only collects what it needs to run the site. The owners have also spoken out on behalf of internet privacy many times, and are prepared to put their money where their mouth is.

No ads. Ever. Period. They mean it. Dreamwidth is entirely user funded.

Posts viewed in reverse chronological order; no algorithm, opt-in or otherwise. No algorithm at all. No "For You" or "Suggested" page. You still entirely create and curate your own experience.

The ability to make posts that only your "mutuals", or even only a specific subset of your "mutuals", can see. Want to make a post that's only open to Bonnie, Clyde, Butch, and Cassidy? You can do that! Want to make a post that's only open to Bonnie and Butch, but Clyde and Cassidy can't see shit? You can do that, too!

The owners have forsworn NFTs and the blockchain in general. Not as big a worry now as it was even a year ago, but still good to know!

We are explicitly the customers of Dreamwidth. Dreamwidth wants to make us happy, so any changes they make (and they do make changes) are made with us in mind, and after exploring as many possibilities as they can.

Dreamwidth is very transparent about their policies and changes. If you want to know why they're making a specific change, or keeping or getting rid of a feature, they will tell you. You don't have to find out ten months later that they're locked into a contract to keep it for a year (cough cough Tumblr Live cough cough).

So those are some things that Tumblr users would probably love about Dreamwidth.

Another reason Dreamwidth keeps being recommended is that a significant portion of the Age 30+ crowd spent a lot of earlier fandom years on a site known as LiveJournal. Dreamwidth may not be much like Tumblr, but it it started out as a code fork of LiveJournal, so it will be very familiar to anyone who spent any time there. Except better.

Finally, we're recommending Dreamwidth because some of the things that Tumblr users want are just... not going to happen on the web as it is now. Image hosting is the big one for this. Maybe in the future, the price of data will be much cheaper, and Dreamwidth will be able to host as much as we all want for a pittance that a fraction of the userbase will happily pay for everyone, but right now that's just not possible.

Everywhere you want to go that hosts a lot of images will either be running lots of ads, selling your data, or both.

Dreamwidth knows how much it costs to host your data, and has budgeted for that. They are hosting within their means, within our means.

Dreamwidth is the closest thing we may ever get to AO3 as a social media platform. One of the co-owners is from, and still in, fandom; she knows our values, because they are also her values. It may as well be the Blogsite Of Our Own.

#giving this its own post #let me tell you about #dreamwidth #let me tell you about dreamwidth #tumblr alternatives #blogsite of our own #fandom history

[itadorey]

𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐆𝐎𝐎𝐃 (𝐘𝐎𝐔), 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐁𝐀𝐃 (𝐌𝐄𝐆𝐔𝐌𝐈), & 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐔𝐆𝐋𝐘 (𝐆𝐎𝐉𝐎)

pairing: gojo satoru x zenin!reader (gn) summary: gojo takes you to meet megumi, only to end up regretting it when the younger boy immediately takes a liking to you. genre: slice-of-life, fluff, humor, flirting, pre-relationship notes: same universe as "the man of your dreams" but can be read as a standalone!!, reader is part of the zenin clan and has prophetic dreams, megumi likes to make gojo's life difficult, tsumiki is not present here, megumi is the bad bc he bullies gojo :) wc: ~2.4k

"let's go!"

gojo blinks when your door swings open, his hand still up in the air and ready to knock as you brush past him. he doesn't move even as you begin to make your way down the hall, and you softly call out his name when you realize he isn't following.

"is there a problem?" you ask, your voice snapping him out of his daze as he turns to face you. he smiles lightly at the sight of you, taking in the way your head tilts to the side as you give him a questioning look.

"no, none at all," he responds, putting his hands into his pockets as he approaches you. "where are you off to?"

you give him an exasperated look, rolling your eyes as you turn away from him. "don't be coy, it doesn't suit you. i know what we're doing today."

"and?" gojo questions, giving you a sly look as he passes you. "what exactly are we doing?"

you sigh deeply as you catch up to him, hands behind your back as you bump your shoulder against him. "i'm meeting them today."

gojo gives you a faux curious glance, causing you to huff lightly before elaborating.

"fushiguro megumi and fushiguro tsumiki," you state, giving gojo a nervous glance. "that's who you're taking me to, right?"

gojo hums noncommittedly, bumping his hip against you as he turns down another hallway. you trail after him, nodding your head in thanks when he holds the door open for you.

"tsumiki won't be there today, she's at a friend's house. but yeah," gojo finally says, his voice unusually serious. "i just think it'd be good for megumi to meet a zenin who isn't..."

"awful?" you supply, raising an eyebrow when gojo shoots you a look. "horrible? rude? take your pick, they're all true."

"you said it, not me," gojo laughs, leading you off of school grounds. the rest of the walk is silent, and you find yourself enjoying gojo's company as he leads you towards the city.

the two of you come to a stop outside a well-kept building, and you take a deep breath as you look up at the sign hanging above the door. there's a slight tremble in your fingers as you grab onto your sleeve, and gojo silently raises an eyebrow when he notices the action.

"so?" he says, breaking you out of your thoughts. "how'd you know?"

"what?" you ask, your nervousness fading as you turn your attention to the white-haired sorcerer.

"that we were coming here?"

he's met with a dull look, and he does his best to fight off his laughter as you sigh in exasperation before motioning towards your head.

"prophetic dreams, remember?" you respond, reaching over to flick his shoulder. you frown when your hit doesn't land, and you shake your head when you remember the existence of infinity. "i saw this happening."

"oh?" gojo asks, giving you a sly look as he leans in close. "so you're still dreaming about me huh?"

you give him a flat look, refusing to give into his teasing. the smile stays on his face as he tries to catch your gaze, and you simply turn your attention back to the building as he slings an arm over your shoulders.

"shall we get this over with?" he asks, already leading you inside before you can even answer. a strangled noise leaves your mouth at his sudden movement, and gojo laughs it off as he ushers you into the elevator.

"what if he doesn't like me?" you ask quietly, wringing your hands as you spare a glance at gojo. he snorts at your question, crossing his arms and leaning against the elevator's wall as it begins to move.

"he doesn't like anyone," he scoffs, waving a hand in an attempt to dismiss your worries. "he's a brat but he's cute, i guess."

you laugh hollowly at his response, following him down the hall as the elevator doors open.

"ready?" gojo asks, coming to a stop in front of a dark, wooden door and unlocking it.

"no," you confess, your shoulders tensing up as he turns the doorknob.

"aw, that's too bad."

the first thing you see when you step through the doorway is a large, fluffy couch. the second thing you notice is the tuft of dark hair that pops up from the aforementioned couch, and you hold your breath as it makes its way around the couch and towards the door.

"megumi! i'm home!" gojo announces, his hand coming to rest on the small of your back as he pushes you further into the apartment. you can hear a brief grumble coming from megumi, and gojo's smile appears slightly strained as he looks up at the ceiling. "and i brought company!"

"who is that?" megumi asks, finally coming to a stop in front of the two of you. there's a moment of silence before you bow your head, introducing yourself and giving him a soft smile. there's a spark of interest in his eye when he hears your last name, and they narrow when they land on gojo's hands pressed comfortably against your back.

there's an awkward silence before you glance around, and you swallow harshly before gingerly attempting to pat gojo's shoulder. you hide your mild shock when you actually make contact.

"can i have some water please?" you ask politely, earning a nod from him.

"megumi, go get our guest some water," gojo says, biting back a smile as megumi scowls.

"i asked you, not him," you retort, crossing your arms as you turn to face him. "stop being a pain."

you feel gojo's fingers tense against your back, and he throws his head back to laugh as your expression remains unimpressed.

"are you two dating?"

the two of you whip around to face megumi, who watches the two of you with a conflicted expression. you can see the mild disgust in his eyes as he looks at gojo, and you hold back a laugh when his expression turns pitying as he faces you.

"no!" you deny, ignoring the way gojo sputters at the question. he makes no move to step away from you, and you decide to take the initiative and move closer to megumi while leaving gojo behind.

"good," is all megumi says, earning an amused laugh from you and an indignant scoff from gojo. you wave him towards the kitchen, taking a seat on the couch and smiling when megumi takes the spot next to you.

"how come you're here with him?" megumi asks once gojo is out of the room. you watch him for a few seconds, his green eyes boring into you as he studies you in return.

"he's helping me out," you say in response, confusion coloring megumi's face as he tilts his head. you're hesitant as you continue to speak, your voice a lot quieter than it had previously been. "i'm in a similar situation as yours."

"oh," he breathes.

"oh," you agree.

he shuffles closer to you as you sink into the couch cushions, and you can't stop yourself from patting his head, your fingers playing with the soft strands of his hair as he stares down at his shoes. you feel your heart lurch uncomfortably as you watch megumi, thinking about how unfair it is that a child is trapped in the same situation that you are. you can't help but feel thankful that gojo found megumi before the zenin clan could, and you remind yourself to thank him for his decision as soon as you can.

neither one of you notice the way gojo watches the two of you from the kitchen doorway, three bottles of water balanced between his hands as he does his best to not drop them.

"you wanna see something?" megumi asks, breaking the silence. you nod your head eagerly, earning a tiny smile from the young boy. he slides off the couch and brings his hands together, forming what looks like a hand shadow puppet. your jaw drops as two large dogs emerge from the shadows, coming to a stop next to megumi as his chest puffs up in pride.

"woah! that's so cool!" you say, reaching a hand out for one of the dogs to sniff. it eyes you warily, pushing the top of its head into your palm when it decides you're not a threat. the other dog approaches cautiously, and you find yourself giggling as the two dogs butt heads in an attempt to be pet by you.

"can you do this too?" megumi asks quietly, the corners of his mouth turning down slightly when you shake your head.

"no, i didn't inherit this technique," you say softly, playing with both dogs as they lay down on their backs. "you have a very impressive technique, you know?"

"what's yours?" he asks shyly, sitting down on the floor and leaning in to pet the dogs as well.

"i can see the future," you say, watching as his eyes widen. "but only in my dreams."

"woah!"

"here's your water!" gojo sings, throwing himself onto the couch next to you. he smiles widely as his sudden movement forces you to lean into him, and he ignores your annoyed grumbles as he hands you a bottle. you take it from him with a quiet thanks, and he wastes no time in tossing one of the other bottles to megumi, snickering when the younger boy fumbles with the bottle before it ultimately falls to the floor.

you smack him lightly as he leans forward to pet the divine dogs, pouting when megumi dismisses them right before he can make contact with their soft fur. you snort at the sight before jumping up from the couch, looking around the apartment as you step away from gojo.

"where's your bathroom?" you ask, nodding firmly when both gojo and megumi point towards the dark hallway behind you. "i'll be right back."

gojo's eyes remain on you as you walk away, and he only looks away when he hears a tiny scoff from megumi. he turns to face the green-eyed boy, raising an eyebrow when he sees him staring with his arms crossed.

"you like them," megumi accuses, a scowl on his face as he takes note of the way gojo looks down the hallway you've disappeared into. gojo stays silent as he thinks about megumi's words, only responding when he hears megumi speak again. "stay away from my clan."

"your clan?" gojo laughs, avoiding megumi's question.

"yes, the zenin clan," megumi says, looking at gojo as though he's the stupidest person on earth. "we don't need you to taint our bloodline."

gojo's jaw drops at megumi's words, and he leaps from his seat to glare down at him over his sunglasses. "listen here! you should be honored to have me be with someone in your clan. and besides, you can't decide who they like!"

"but you do like them?" is all megumi says in return, a smug look on his face as he glares back just as fiercely.

"i never—"

"is everything okay here?"

gojo and megumi turn to see you standing in the hallway, stifling a laugh as you watch gojo argue with a child. they both straighten up and nod, and you wander over to the couch as gojo plops back down on the cushion. you take a seat next to him when he pats the empty space next to him, leaning into him as he wraps an arm around your shoulder. he pointedly ignores megumi's glare.

"so," you begin, your eyes trained on megumi as he turns to look at you curiously. "i have to admit that you've appeared in my dreams. but i saw other animals surrounding you. can you summon different shikigami?"

megumi nods softly, an eager glint in his eye as he stands from his spot and looks over at gojo. you follow his gaze in time to see him nod at megumi, and you turn back when megumi clears his throat.

you watch as he summons a small crowd of bunnies, delight visible in your eyes as you lean forwards to grab one.

"megumi, you are so cool!"

gojo can't help the way his heart swells when megumi lets out a laugh.

"bye, megumi! i'll come back and visit," you promise, reaching down to pat the boy's head as he follows you to the door.

"promise?" he asks quietly, looking down at the floor.

"i promise," you state firmly, nodding once. he looks up to see you motion to your head, a kind smile on your face as you slip your feet into your shows. "in fact, i know it. i've already dreamt it."

your statement makes megumi's scowl soften, and the rest of your goodbyes are exchanged without incident. you sigh softly as you walk back down the street with gojo, a giddy smile still on your face as you think about your meeting with megumi.

things had gone better than expected, and you can't help but think how lucky you are to have found gojo, who in return led you to megumi.

"you know what?" you ask, holding back laughter as gojo hums in acknowledgment. "i think he likes me."

you laugh when gojo scoffs loudly, and he can't help but grin along as you bump him with your shoulder. a few minutes of silence pass as the two of you walk up the familiar road that leads to the school, and you steel yourself before finally saying what's on your mind.

"gojo?" you say quietly.

"yeah?" he asks in return, confusion on his face when you come to a stop. he freezes in place when you launch yourself at him, arms wrapping around his neck in a tight hug as you pull him close. his arms wrap around your waist in return, and he rests his cheek against the top of your head as he lets his eyes flutter shut.

"thank you," you whisper softly, squeezing your eyes shut as you feel his fingers splay across your back. "for helping me and for taking such good care of megumi and tsumiki."

your words ring in gojo's ear, and he leans back slightly to look down at you. your eyes have a slight sheen to them, and he decides to forgo teasing you in favor of holding you close for just a little bit longer. he never knew he could grow so attached to two members of the zenin clan.

"always."

rbs are appreciated <3 ty for reading!!

#gojo x reader #jjk x reader #jujutsu kaisen x reader #gojo satoru x reader #gojou x reader #gojou satoru x reader #jjk imagine #jujutsu kaisen imagine #gojo imagine #satoru x reader #gojo satoru imagine #jjk fluff #gojo fluff #gojo satoru fluff #gojo imagines