#whatever. i dont need to be flagging every second of every day.

[luciality]

im the most fuckable tradcath-presenting dyke in this teahouse

#shut up luci #delete later #with my long skirt and frumpy sweater i look like every other tradcath on campus #but idc i think its comfy and cozy. im so girly girl im a pretty princess. im wearing vw jewelry which makes me so happy #tbh i think the accident tradcath fit comes from dressing girly but not showing skin + no makeup. #whatever. i dont need to be flagging every second of every day. #might need to get into hankie code and somehow incorperate that into my fits. victorian scenes submissive. period sex giving. just btw.

[hobisstar]

What are you hiding from love?| Yandere!Jk x Reader

Summary: Being in a relationship with Jungkook you’ve always noticed the signs, the red flags if you will. Being so in love with him you ignored them, until the people you loved dearly started disappearing one by one.

Warnings: Murder, Jungkook victim blaming ( like he will say i killed you because you are too stupid or whatever), Possessiveness, Mentions of Smut, Controlling, Locking up YN.

Taglist: vante 🫶🏾

A/N: This is made to be scary! That is all. I honestly dont like mixing smut with yandere because i read yandere fics to be spooked not horny lol.

5 years,

5 long years, of nothing but love and trust but more than that. Of course honesty, right?

Well on yn’s end there was definitely honesty. Jungkook’s? Not so much. You see there is this dark secret that jungkook has been hiding since they met 6 years ago…

It’s so deadly that it could possibly end their relationship if she found out about it.

She was so beautiful, so calm and gentle with him, he loved that side of her. Hes never seen her angry, sad, or even hurt. He never wants to see that side of her.

Jungkook doesn’t want to be the reason he sees that side of her.

Like now, There are siting on their shared bed, in their shared bedroom, in their shared apartment. Telling the truth, would risk him loosing all of this. He cant have that.

Jungkook looked at her then smiled, “ You are so beautiful you know?” He smiled, kissing the top of her head. YN blushed lightly staring up at him.

YN was quite literally everyone’s dream girl. Maybe that was the problem to Jungkook.

She was too good to everyone including himself and he hated. He knows she has a bad side but he never gets to see it so when he knows someone else gets to experience that mean side of her, he’s instantly jealous.

Who got his baby so pissed that she called you a dumb cunt? A fucking bitch? Who dares piss off his queen?

He will deal with them, with torture. Slow, painful, evil, demented, twisted death.

That was the other side of him he need to never be shown to his lover. It scared him that in any means possible she found out about his… hobby.

Nevertheless, Jungkook admires yn. How she can keep it together in every situation. Worships her to be exact.

“Stop calling be beautiful and get ready for work, handsome.” Yn responded while patting his back.

Right, work. Besides his hobby, he works at a flower shop while yn works at a cafe during the weekend. It’s enough to keep food on their table, to the rent, gas but also enough for simply living. Jungkook owns the flower shop so, he makes a whole lot of money.

There are so many things that yn doesn’t know about Jungkooks basically second life. How deadly it is.

jk: I miss you, baby~

I hate this fucking job

What are you doing?

Is bam stilling your attention from my text?

Babbbbbbbbyyyyy

yn

yn

yn

yn answer the phone

yn: sorry baby! I was feeding bam and fixing me something to eat!

I left my phone in the bathroom

yn: j, you just got to work babes 🤨, how do you miss me already?

You didn’t even clock in yet SILLY!

jk: I can’t miss you now?

Since when did you feel like that?

yn: Jeon I never once said you couldn’t, don’t say that.

jk: but you where implying that…

yn: Jeon Jungkook, clock in, put your phone down, see you when you get home 😕🩷

jk: smh, why that face? Why that reply?

He waited for a reply but he never received one, instead he heard someone clear his throat. He looked up and saw it was a woman probably in her 30s, staring at him like he was a snack.

“Hi! JK right? I came in here a few days ago looking for some flowers for my sisters birthday! I doubt you remember me but I want to come back to get some for myself!” The lady bit her lip and looked Jungkook up then down and Jungkook thought he could be sick.

He forced a half smile, “ Yeah yeah, I don’t remember you. You can get them for yourself, I don’t remember the flower you got last time.” He looked back down at the book he was original decorating with different flower pictures but got bored so he texted his lover.

“oh.. I was hoping you could pick them for me, fresh ones. I know you all do that-,” “ we do but not this early.” He interrupted still looking down, knowing he is hurting the poor woman’s feelings for not even recognizing her or remembering the flower or even falling for her shitty attempt to flirt.

“Okay, ah well I’ll go grab them and pay for them.” She said waiting for a respond or even a nod but she didn’t even get that. She walked over there and grabbed them then returning to the register. While she put her things on the counter, she saw a glimpse of Jungkooks Lock Screen which so happens to be a picture of yn and bam sleeping on the couch. “ Your sister?” She asked, hoping she was right. “ My wife actually and our son.” He scanned the flowers and roughly wrapped them. Roses, it’s be sad if he left a thorn on them. He turned around and slightly cut the stem but enough to keep the thorn nice and sharp.

Jungkook turned back around and handed them to her. As soon as the woman grabbed them she gasped, in pain he assumed. He pretended to be concerned but when he saw the palm of her hand leaking red liquid, he smiled on inside.

“ Oh! Im so sorry! I thought I got all the thorns, out…” he looked up at her then saying “ I guess one snuck away.” giving her the most creepiest blank face the woman has ever seen. She then realized he left the thorn on on purpose. He even sharpened it. “ I can fix that for you-,” “ No! I-It’s fine! Thank you so much! See you!” She some what screamed and hurried out the store frightened.

“ too bad..” Jungkook mumbled and chuckled continuing to put pictures in the decorating book.

“Bam! You just keep growing!” Yn said as she walked into the kitchen smiling while seeing him staring at the spare room. It’s Jungkooks office. “ What’s the matter? You know your dad doesn’t like you going in there.Not even me.” She stooped to his level and petted his back but only received a whimper in return.

Yn stared at the door. It’s taunting her with its unlocked door handle. She looked at the time, it was only 5 pm, Jungkook wouldn’t be home for a few more hours.

“ A peak wouldn’t hurt us right?” Looking at Bam and he barked as if he understood her.

Yn stood up and opened the door walking in. It was a nice little tidy office.

It would be comforting even if it wasn’t so cold. She has to remember to turn on the air for this room once exiting.

She turned around seeing if Bam followed her inside but he was at his bowl slurping up some water.

Looking at the closet door she opened it up and turned on the light. “since when did he make this a dark room?” The red light was a little hard to see in but her eyes soon adjusted quickly.

Spooky wasn’t the feeling that she was feeling but more so unsettled. Yn looked at the photos on the table and quite literally almost vomited.

“ what… what is that?” Stammering as her eyes scanned over the photos laid out on the table.

Pictures of people being hurt, harmed. There were far more worse ones that she doesn’t even want to even mention. Gazing up on the line looking at the ones drying where pictures of, her.

This wouldn’t be weird if it wasn’t of her sleeping, in the shower, getting dressed, even at work.

“Did jungkook take these?… no way…”

Yn was flabbergasted,

Was her boyfriend of 5 years, a serial killer? A psychopath? A fucking weirdo? I mean she saw the signs but thought she was tripping.

Days where he would come home with blood and dirt on his hands and clothes. He would always say it was his and it came from the thorns he dealt with at work.

“yn! I’m home!” Jungkook shouted. As he walked in and smiled when he saw Bam sitting on the couch peacefully sleeping.

It’s where yn and bam usually cuddle so, where is she at?

“Did she leave you by yourself?” He asked Bam who was waking up from sleep. Walking towards the kitchen he saw dinner was made and a note on the fridge door.

“ Welcome home babes! Sorry I couldn’t be home to greet you, I went out to go get a few things but my sister called and said she wanted to have a little sibling time! Ha. Be back by 11 pm! Dinners fixed but do warm it up, then shower and get some sleep! See you later,

Love, Yn <3”

“Ah, I guess she did leave us by ourselves tonight Bam.” He chuckled and took off his jacket. He felt weird though.

Since when did her sister want to hang out so late? This is the first he ever heard of it. Pondering, he grabbed his phone and called yn’s sister.

“Hello? Jungkook?” She answered confused as ever at this late ass call. “Hey, sorry to call so late. is yn with you?” Jungkook asked but his full attention was on his office door.

“What? No she’s not. Why?” Without missing a beat Jungkook hung up the phone right after. He dialed yn’s number. What he wasn’t expecting was to hear her phone sitting right on the couch next to Bam. He watched it ring and sighed. Maybe she just went out and forgot it on accident, no need to panic.

For some reason in the back of his mind he felt as though she found out. She went into his forbidden office. Jungkook chuckled, “ she would never disobey me.” He warmed his food up then sat at the table but he couldn’t eat.

Nor could the feeling of her going in his office go away. He stood up and walked to the door and opened it.

At first he didn’t notice anything out of place until he realized it was warm in the room. He never turns the air on in this room. Jungkook looked around about to leave until something so obvious caught his eyes.

The red light illuminating on the other side of the closet door. With quick steps, he opened the door well threw it open. Nothing was touched but the light alone was a clear sign that someone was in there.

He mentally and physically cursed himself.

“ She knows, she fucking knows.” He calmly stated but boy was he heated.

“ I need to fucking find her…now.”

To be continued…

#jeon jungguk #jeon jungkook #bts #bts x reader #jk #jungkook x reader #bts jung jungkook #yandere!jungkook #jungkook ff #jungkook #jungkook yandere series

[gayloringinplainsight]

why is all of your "evidence" so contridictory? if she came out on lesbian visibility day and all her past relationships are pr beards, why does it matter the bisexual hints she drops? AND if she IS bisexual, why come out on lesbian visibility day and have so many lesbian flag themed hints? why would she be in pr beard relationships if shes openly bisexual?

I DONT CARE ABOUT TAYLOR SWIFT. I DONT CARE ABOUT HER SEXUALITY. IF SHE IS OR IS NOT LGBT DOESNT HAVE ANY BEARING ON MY LIFE UNLESS SHE STOPS POLLUTING THE EARTH WHEN SHE COMES OUT. JUST EXPLAIN HOW THE EVIDENCE WORKS. NOT IN LYRICS. NOT MUSIC VIDEOS. NOT PICTURES FROM INTSTAGRAM. NOT SOMEONE ELSE'S TIK TOKS. NOT HINTS. JUST TANGIBLE PROOF.

Okay first idk why you need to scream at me. Calm the fuck down. And if you don't care about Taylor Swift then I'm not sure why you're on my blog screaming in all caps about her, but let's do this anyways cause I'm in a verbose mood.

Second, it's not my evidence, it's her evidence and her flagging, and I have eyes and a brain capable of a modicum of critical thinking.

And I don't think any of the evidence is contradictory but I kind of understand what you're getting at.

So let me begin by saying that I have no strong opinions on if she's bi or pan or lesbian or fluid or whatever. I think there was a lot of bi flagging in the 1989 era, both bi and pan flagging during the Lover era, and then there's been a lot more lesbian flagging during the Midnights/eras tour period. So if I had to venture a guess I'd say she used to identify as bi and now identifies as lesbian, but I don't feel super strongly about it and I also don't think there's really enough evidence to say for sure one way or another, only that there's more than enough evidence to be certain she's some flavor of queer.

What additionally contributes to the lack of clear answers on labelling is the fact that she does flagging on lesbian visibility day, and then mixes bi flagging and pan flagging in the same music video. But I don't think it's fair to say that if she's (for the sake of argument) bi, then she can only do bi-specific flagging. She can do any kind of flagging she wants, and that doesn't diminish the queer message she's coding. It might also be that she simply identifies as queer or unlabeled, and therefore feels free to mix and match all of these things. Or maybe her label is more complex and reliant on the split attraction model, like bi-romantic lesbian, or homo-romantic bisexual/pansexual.

To address some of your specific statements, she didn't "come out on lesbian visibility day". At least not explicitly. But she flagged very hard and said something that could be construed as coming out in a glass-closeted kind of way.

We also don't know that all of her public relationships have been PRships. They might have been, and I think a lot of them were, but we don't actually know. I think you're also asking, if every public relationship with men was PR, why would she ever flag as bi? But just because the relationships we know about were potentially PR doesn't mean there couldn't have been relationships with men that we don't know about. A great example of this is Martin Johnson, who many people think was a real relationship (and the muse for Dear John).

All this goes back to the point that she can do any kind of flagging she wants. She's not restricted to bi flagging if she's bi, or lesbian flagging if she's a lesbian. Perhaps she vacillates between labels. Perhaps her labels are more complex like bisexual lesbian. Perhaps in addition to whatever her own label is, she wants to give visibility to other queer identities.

Just because we don't know her exact brand of queer doesn't mean the evidence is contradictory. It means we don't know her exact brand of queer.

Lastly, to address your final demand where you want tangible proof except not lyrics or videos or social media posts or hints. Which is a request that's not really based in reality. Because that's exactly where the tangible proof lies. It's in the enormous pile of queer flagging that can't be explained away. It's in the performances where she sings "I want her midnights." It's in her panoply of rainbow outfits. It's in statements like "Gay pride…makes me, me!" It's in all the mv scenes of glass closeting. It's in Jack accidentally outing her. It's in the rep prologue. It's in lyrics that reference hairpin drops and secrecy and religious guilt and fear of being found out. It's in her literally telling us "I prefer hiding in plain sight." This is all queer flagging and if you know how to read it then you can read it. And if you can't or refuse to, then that's on you. If you want to wait for her to shout her identity from the rooftops before you think there's tangible proof, then feel free to wait for that day. I think it will come. But in the meantime, queer flagging IS proof. And the sheer volume and scope and clarity of it makes it tangible.

#gaylor #gaylor swift #Taylor swift #my asks

[slaygentford]

I listened to every Beatles album in order so you dont have to and kept this record as I did. no one asked me to do this and honestly idk how I arrived at it it just sounded interesting after I exhausted the platters who I didnt think to record like this. also im at the point of school where you dont get homework anymore and I miss it so I made a report.

these are graded on a curve, that is, the ratings of each album are calculated in relation to the other albums. prior to this endeavor I had only heard the big beatles songs like in movies and on Wii rockband.

please please me: 3/5. highlight: twist and shout (sorry). lowlight: baby its you. thready ass vocals. leave it to people with talent with the beatles: 3/5. aesthetically identical to prev. highlight: you really got a hold on me. lowlight: please mr postman. why the fuck would you cover this. youre signing up to fail a hard day's night: 2/5. highlight: things we said today. lowlight: sadly, a hard day's night beatles for sale: im gonna keep it real. this sounds identical to albums 1-3 to me and I feel exactly no emotion about it at all. largely inoffensive. 2/5 help!: 3.3/5. highlight: help! killer bass. lowlight: the riff in I need you fills me with a burning, indescribable rage rubber soul: here we begin to experience the epic highs and lows of The Beatles discography. high highs: Norwegian wood and girl. low lows: literally everything else. 2/5 revolver: 3.5/5. these bitches finally woke up! highlight: I'm only sleeping, for no one, Eleanor Rigby is worth the hype, I want to tell you, tomorrow never knows. lowlight: dr robert -- flop attempt at satire. also whatever that one guy was doing to that poor sitar sgt pepper's: I came to a rude awakening when I realized that the wall would not exist without sgt pepper's. humbling. that being said, 0/5. I hated every single second of this. magical mystery tour: epic high following last album's epic low. 5/5. strawberry fields has a BASS DROP??!?!? no skips. I love this album. its such a time capsule as well of like one of the weirdest years in history. i can listen to this album and experience how my parents felt at 16. the callback to she loves you on the last track. I get it the white album: I dont get it. this album tested me like nothing else. I began to flag. I began to question the honor of my quest. I almost shut it off after nearly every song. but let me say: the highs are sweeping. SWEEPING. happiness is a warm gun. blackbird, Helter Skelter, while my guitar gently weeps, back in the ussr, revolution (which is satire which I just realized)... however, the lows are LOW. glass onion is bad; Julia is actually unlistenable (I broke and skipped it); wild honey pie is like getting a transorbital lobotomy; birthday has undone years of my therapist's work vis a vis suicidal ideation. Im so baffled by this I almost want to exclude it entirely. instead I calculated its good song to bad song ratio which landed the album as a whole at a solid D+ (69%)! but that seems like its ignoring the good songs which for any other band even ONE of those would be the song of their career. emotionally the experience was not unlike a bipolar mixed episode. 1/5 yellow submarine: this one was a movie soundtrack. something it has going for it is that it isn't the white album. 4/5 abbey road: yeah. 10/5. I cant even be flippant about this. you live a whole lifetime listening to this one. fine. let it be: set myself up to FAIL with this one. my dad was about to turn 18 the year this came out, which I only bring up because this is the only one of my dads beatles albums I kept. so of course I listened to the record and cried through let it be like a bitch. I like all the studio talking noise. 5/5 for sentimentality

rating overall: 43.8/65, about 66%. but I dont vibe w that honestly. I had a great time doing this and discovered some great music. I also cant ignore their historical significance and the insight it gave me into my parents' youth, which is probably the most interesting thing about the beatles. I choose to recuse myself from assigning a grade and instead, on a pass/fail scale, pass them.

reflection: they were so prolific in 10 years with wildly varying results, but it makes me feel like we need to all create more haphazardly and throw stuff at the wall and see what sticks instead of being so precious about it. because honestly, a monkey at a typewriter with that kind of output WILL eventually write something good. I also think it's the kill baby Mussolini principle in that even if you killed baby Mussolini there would still be the sociopolitical situation which gave rise to Mussolini. so if The Beatles never formed there would've been other band/s who evolved with the upheaval of the 60s who would now serve as this cultural touchstone. but this is what we got and thats quite interesting I think.

takeaway: I cant listen to another beatles song for at least 2 calendar years

#what an experience. wow. who should I do this with next

[sollucets]

everybody is so hyped for only friends and I think I am too but I am also scared? because it is way too hyped, it can't live up anymore? And I know many people look forward to the red flags and all but I do enjoy a healthy relationship like aye and akk, but I am still looking forward to it but also I am very scared. And like i need my happy ends lol and I want first and khaos character to end up together just because they have an insane amount of chemistry.. I don't know. I am scared.

i mean, i get that to a certain extent but frankly i think the hype makes it more fun. everyone is so excited about every little detail it’s nice :’) i like seeing people lose their shit. maybe we’ll be disappointed but maybe we won’t! and wouldn’t that be lovely

id say based on everything were being given going into this expecting any of the relationships to be healthy is a fool’s errand lmao. again, we take em as they come & perhaps get pleasantly surprised

the ending…. i dont know nonny i think it’s too soon to say. basically, we barely have anything to go on right now so it makes sense people are defaulting to thinking of their actors but. sanray aren’t firstkhao! firstkhao will still promote together n be friends no matter what happens, and we’re here to see them do sexy sexy drama, and so how that drama ends up matters only if we eventually think sanray deserve it. yknow?

personally. my dreams for sanray is like….. san (who is, according to first, very forthright abt his feelings) leaves as we see in the trailer bc he’s sick of being second place to smth that’ll never happen, and then ray gets in trouble / needs bail or whatever and san comes to help him despite everything and ray apologizes (per khao saying he grows a lot) and they try again, for real this time, as scary as that may be. and also san should fuck other people to bother ray in the early days im a big ship mixnmatch advocate. like haha if we’re just fwb then this shouldnt bother you :’) but it does of course it does. i WANT that longing look across the club that you know youre not supposed to be giving dynamic

i dont know if “don’t be scared embrace the chaos” was the response you expected from me, haha. i’m sorry nonny! im very excited for only friends :’)

#nonny #rowan asks #only friends #watch me be. so wrong. LMAO #or so right! time will tell

[dlishus05]

Ch.3 Bar and Boys

once you pulled up to the bar you were amazed at how many people were there and thought how hard this case might actually be. Once you walked through the doors you went straight to the bar and decided to order two shots of tequila. once the liquid courage arrived you downed both of them like nothing and you didn’t even make a face or flinch.

“wow. you must be able to handle your liquor“ hearing this you turn around and to your surprise it was the tall handsome man from the gas station earlier that day. “uhh..yeah i can, well let me rephrase that it depends on what type of liquor.“ you say. “well how about a bet?“ he says. “Okay sure” you say. 

“if i can last longer than you on tequila shots we go back to my motel room, if you win you can do whatever you want to me.“ “that sounds nice, but lets add a twist, after every shot we ask the other person a question so we can get to know one another. “ “that sounds good, i like it“. The mystery man then flags down the bartender and asks for 10 tequila shots to start out with. once we get them we split them evenly so we have five each and you take the first shot.

after you take the shot you ask him what his name is and he replies that his name is Sam. Sam takes his shot and asks you what your name is so you tell him your name is y/n. “wow pretty name for a pretty girl ”Sam says. “oh really?” you ask “yeah your gorgeous y/n” “okay next shot! ” after the second one is down you decide to finish the rest of them and while you wait for sam to catch up you glance around the bar and catch eyes with the short guy from the gas station. 

he walks over to you and Sam and asked who you were and what were you doing with his little brother. It took you a little bit to process what he said but you looked at him and said that you didn’t know that sam had a big brother let alone that he was here with him and how there was no harm coming to sam because  you guys were just doing shots. sams brother started to laugh and said that he was just messing with you and that he wanted to know if he could buy you a drink. of course you couldn’t pass this opertunity so you ask if he would get you some whiskey. 

sam’s brother said”you drink whiskey?” you replied with”yeah i drink whiskey, but not often, i cant have to much” “why not? ” the boys say, “because it’s bad for my legs” you relpy. “why do they swell” sam said, you giggle a little bit and say,“no, they spread.” sam blushed and looked away, while dean looked at you with shocked and humorous eyes. eventually your drink came and you noticed sams brother, who you still dont know the name of, slipped something in you drink. 

“excuse me im going to go to the restroom real quick“ you say. “okay, ill be right here“ he says. you walk off in the direction towards the bathroom and sneak off towards the back door and go arround the building to get back to you car. as soon as you round the corner you feel somone grab you from behind and struggle as everything goes black. 

Authours note: I know i have not been active in a long time, i am plannign on changing that. since it is now summer i am allowed to stay up a little later than usual. I do have chapters 4-8 written in a journal i just need to publish them on here. please be patient, feel free to ask questions.  ~XOXO  Ruby

Taglist: @natsusbitch 

#winchester spn dean sam deanxreader samxreader supernatural supernatualsmut

[hqcult]

SWITCHING POSITIONS ## akaashi keiji

doms and subs are overrated. it's hella fun being a switch and keiji couldn't agree more.

. tw smut, switch! akaashi, switch! reader, some baby girl and baby boy calling, mommy kink, sir kink, drunk sex, unprotected sex (dont try this at home), oral (m receiving), creampies, slight degradation . wc 3.8k

the night is young. as young a night gets for two college students after finals week. while countless people from different frat houses have already invited you to come to their year-end parties, you never really enjoy that scene. it's too much of an effort to dress and doll yourself up when, after such a stressful week, you just want to wind down and get drunk here in your dorm with your best friend. 

plus, keiji tells way more compelling stories than boys you've encountered at parties and that's saying something, considering you had been drunk as a skunk but didn't find them funny at all. 

yeah. offense.

right from the get-go, you figure he's never one for small talk but there's a fondness in his eyes when he talks about his days as a volleyball player. he becomes more loose-lipped, sharing to you memories of his teammates and games. you really didn't care whatever topic he chose to talk about, you just know you'll listen to him anyway. it's great listening to him talk with that comforting voice of his. 

"you know," you lean your head back against the couch, cozying up in your hoodie. "maybe you should start a part-time job as a youtuber. you can be one of those people who do asmr videos or something." you chuckle, finding the random thought amusing. 

"but i'm already on a full-ride. i don't think i need to get a part-time job," he lies comfy on your couch. one arm hanging, hands over the can of beer. 

you sighed staring up at the ceiling. "lucky. it's hard maintaining grades when your professors are a bunch of snobby assholes who don't care about their students."

his knee nudges the back of your head lightly. "don't say that," he scolds. "that's bad. they're still your teachers."

always so polite.

just as you reach forward for another slice of pizza, akaashi speaks again, eyeing you thoughtfully. "well… maybe i can start an asmr channel and we can split the money i earn."

you laugh, torso turning around to face him. you bring the beer can up to offer a toast. 

"see, this is why i love you, keiji."

after clicking his can with yours, you turn around to have a bite of your pizza — completely missing the red flush on his cheeks, thrown off-guard by the strong proclamation you just made, albeit he knows you probably meant it in a platonic way. he didn't know what to say next so he took another swig of his drink. 

he doesn't know. really. what triggered him to look at you as something way more than a normal friend would. for someone so self-aware as him it's frustrating not knowing how and when his feelings for you even changed. because the only time he realized he was knee deep into liking you was when he was also at the brink of losing you. 

which reminds him… 

"what happened to that guy you were texting two weeks ago?" he asks. 

"ah, him? he's too… what's the word, assertive? intrusive? i don't know — it's like he wants to monopolize my time. like he wants my whole world to revolve around him and it's… kinda creepy actually."

akaashi scoffs, sitting up to get a slice of pizza. "you guys were only talking for two weeks."

"i know! that's what i'm saying!" you say, hands wildly gesturing to and fro. he's afraid you might spill the beer. "like — dude. maybe it's either he needs to chill the fuck out or i'm just not into doms. or maybe he's a walking red flag."

he hums thoughtfully, slumping next to you on the floor before dusting his hands off from pizza crumbs. "he's a red flag. obviously."

"okay but random thought: doms are overrated," you reach forward to open another can of beer, thinking out loud. "subs too. i feel like it's kinda tiring being a top as much as it is being a bottom. being a switch, on the other hand, is like getting the best of both worlds and who wouldn't like that? it's some good hannah montana shit."

now akaashi keiji can't help but laugh at that. "are you drunk? how did our conversation end up this way even."

you bump his shoulder, laughing with him before drinking your beer. "oh, come on. humor me a little, keiji. think about it. i'm right. aren't i?"

"and how do you know?" he turns his head towards you. "have you been a top? or bottom —"

"i have," the smile you gave him sent butterflies to his stomach. "both. back in my all-girls high school. being a bottom's not too bad but… eh, still. i'd rather just be a switch. it's exhausting to top all the time."

"don't i know it," akaashi mutters under his breath. flashbacks of all those awkward and embarrassing endeavors filling his mind. "guys are always expected to top. it's like a stereotype. can't i just sit back sometimes and follow orders, too?" 

he feels the heat crawling up his neck and it makes him shrug off his jacket, leaving him with the plain white shirt underneath. 

"i can give you orders."

akaashi almost chokes on his beer. 

"you literally just said it's exhausting to top."

you shrugged. "yeah, but — i mean, it is! it is but… you know."

he can see exactly how embarrassment is taking over your features and he wants to stop and move on from the conversation. he wants to. he should. but there's an inkling feeling inside him that doesn't because he wants to see how this unfolds. his heart is beating erratically and he can't take his eyes off you since that little comment you made. 

"i'm sorry," you chuckle, a dismissive tone in your voice. "nevermind. anyway…"

akaashi shouldn't entertain his thoughts. 

it's improper. you're his best friend. literally one of the few people who he's managed to befriend in college. he can't lose you. he can't risk being awkward with you. his not-so-platonic feelings for you should never get in the way of that. never. plus, you're both intoxicated right now and you were probably just kidding around. akaashi isn't that kind of guy. he respects you. he should dismiss the conversation but —

"then give me orders."

you froze. eyes widening as you stare at the forgotten netflix movie playing on your laptop, unable to look at the man sitting next to you. afraid of the weight of his stare. you didn't know why you blurted out whatever you did a few seconds ago but you never thought he'd entertain it. not that you mind, anyway. this is your best friend we're talking about. well-mannered akaashi keiji with the ocean eyes hiding behind those cute square glasses. 

the akaashi keiji you've been crushing hard on since you saw him at the freshman orientation two years ago. 

"would you… spread your legs for me?"

light rustling can be heard as the microfibers of his socks drag against the carpeted floor. just as you reach forward to push back the coffee table, akaashi beats you to it and does it for you. making sure to push it far so you won't accidentally hit your back on the edges. 

with one smooth swing of your leg, you're sitting snug on his lap. the rough fabric of his jeans grazing your thighs as your hands tremble whilst dragging down the planes of his torso. 

akaashi grabs your hands, stopping you. 

"you look hesitant. you don't need to do this if you don't want to." his tone is low, understanding as always. 

you look at him straight in the eye. leaning forward until your lips are all but grazing each other as you spoke. "i want to. i want you."

you dive down to start peppering kisses down his neck and you hear him let out a shaky sigh. you lick a stripe up the side of his neck before kissing the shell of his ear. "go on, keiji. you can touch me. don't you want to touch mommy?" 

you feel him shudder, his dexterous fingers mapping random lines underneath your hoodie, slowly raking higher and higher until he's saying "mommy, please take it off" in low hushed tones. the blush in his cheeks prominent as he can't seem to stare at you in the eye. so cute. so submissive. so stupid thinking you'll let him undress you so easily.

"did i say you can take it off?" you hiss, reaching down to cup him from over his jeans and shoving his hands off you. "don't tell me baby boy is being bad, are you being bad? i thought my baby keiji's a good boy for his mommy." 

"but… but i am a good —"

akaashi hisses, knees jolting when he feels you tracing circles on the insides of his thighs with the tip of your nails. for someone who just claimed they didn't like topping, you're doing an impeccable job at it and he doesn't know whether or not he loves it or hates it. when your sneaky little hands unbutton his jeans and teasingly pulls the zipper down, okay, no, he definitely loves it. the determined look in your eyes as you pin your gaze on his features, watching like a hawk at every furrow of his brow, of every sharp intake of breath, every time he throws his head back. 

"if you're such a good boy why don't you strip for mommy, hm? won't my baby boy give me a show?" he can't take his eyes off you as you smile, sultry, leaning over to lick at his bottom lip as your ass slowly grinds against his jeans. how merciless you are, when you gave him a peck and pulled away. "go on. strip and sit on the couch."

blindly reaching around the coffee table, you grabbed whatever beer you can hold before raising it up to your lips and staring at him over the rim of the can as he throws his shirt off. you suck in a breath when his abdominals come into view. his torso lean and smooth, siding a little more on the petite size with a tiny waist. and you shamelessly check him out even more when he leans over and hooks his thumbs under his jeans, pushing it down. 

you didn't speak until you saw the black waistband of his boxers.

"those, too."

he pauses, looking a little lost. "i'm sorry, what —"

"everything, baby boy. i want everything off… including those boxers. wanna see your dick throbbing. bet baby boy's already hard because mommy kissed his neck and gave him hickies, isn't he? bet you'll love it if mommy licks you all over, or when mommy rides her baby boy's cute thighs. would my baby keiji like that? would you? does my baby boy deserve it?"

damn were you good at this. the more you spoke the more it's making him ache and he wastes no time in shoving everything down. true to your words he was throbbing. the mushroom tip oozing precum and his dick standing tall. maybe it's the alcohol in his system or maybe it's the desire for you that he had kept locked away for so long, but akaashi can't bring it in himself to feel embarrassed. not when you're looking at him like you want to devour him whole. 

the same bright eyes of his adventurous best friend who's stuck by his side since being wide-eyed first years in this huge university — he'll probably never see you in that same halo ever again, already tainted by the image of you now. 

he sees you swallow, eyes never straying away from his girth and akaashi feels a little proud to have you looking star-struck. when you rise from your seat, his muscles tense in anticipation, staring at your hand as it slowly reaches forward — only to pause mid-air. 

akaashi looks up at you questionably and he sees the unspoken question in your eyes, asking for his consent. and your baby boy's answer was instantaneous.

 "please, mommy. touch me?"

the smile on your face was cocky. definitely cocky as your hand wraps around his girth, the other wrapping around his throat as you coo. "aw, how can i resist when you're asking so nicely? why don't you sit on the couch and i'll grant whatever my baby boy wants, hm?"

he mewls, leaning back on the couch and eyes you with lust. "like this, mommy?" he mutters, desperate. he even tilts his hips up a little to offer you a better view as you hum in approval, straddling his hips as you stroked his cock. 

"such a good boy for mommy, aren't you? how pretty." 

he hisses when he catches sight of you kneeling before him in between his legs, looking at him with the most captivating sultry gaze he's ever seen. "mommy's gonna give you a 'lil prep, yeah? so it won't hurt when i ride your dick, baby boy." 

"yes, momm — ugh." 

akaashi throws his head back when you finally wrap your lips around him. the image of your hollowed cheeks forever ingrained in his mind. his eyes fly close, focusing his attention on your swift tongue as it lies flat against the underside of his cock, taking him eagerly from the base to the tip. your tongue swirls around the head, sneakily poking around the hole where precum oozes out. 

"mommy," he whines when your tongue travels back to his girth, tracing one of the prominent veins in his dick before your hand comes up to play with his balls. "mommy — shit. so good… feels so good…"

it urges you on, hands retracting to wrap around whatever your mouth couldn't cover. his back is arching and you suck him with fervor, eager to push him to the edge, to make him believe you're going to lick and play and suckle until he's creaming around your mouth — only to pull away at the last minute. 

"no!" he moans, looking down at you desperately as you rise from your seat. "i was-i was gonna cum!"

you dismiss him easily with a wave of the hand, too busy shuffling out your clothes. maybe if you had the energy, you would've punished him a few rough spanks but you were far gone already. thoughts of that dick splitting you in half as you ride him consuming your mind like a plague.

akaashi groans when you hop onto the sofa and crash your lips on his. you never would've imagined kissing him this way. sloppy and wet and painfully induced with lust. the stretch is amazing, there was the lightest stinging sensation but was overridden by pleasure. he groans, pulling you close and peppering your shoulders with kisses. 

you grabbed his shoulders and started bouncing on his lap in a slow, stimulating manner that made you feel every vein and curve of his cock as it deliciously drags against your walls. you hear him wine. you hear him talk about how it hurts and how he can't take it anymore. how he needs his mommy to move faster. faster, mommy. please fuck me faster. but you ignored him, so caught up in domspace to see the growing irritation in your baby boy's eyes. to see the sudden shift from clinging onto you so desperately to gripping possessively against the soft flesh of your sides.

the air was knocked out of your lungs when he slams you down on the sofa.

"you dare ignore me?" his face is passive, eyes cold and steely as he pinned you with a dark stare. "time's up. i think you got a tad bit carried away there, don't you agree?" 

"want me to show you how it's done?" you shiver in excitement when he takes your wrists in one hand. his thighs flex as he gets on his knees before hooking your legs over his shoulder, thrusting his dick deeper into you. akaashi bends forward, a hand firmly gripping your face. "i want you to address me as 'sir' and nothing else, do i make myself clear?"

his low assertive tone so painfully attractive you clenched around him as he drills into you with vigor. akaashi chuckles, the low rumbles of his chest stimulating your perked nubs as it grazed against him with every thrust. "yeah, you like that? like it when i speak to you like this? ah, fuck you're so tight. you're pussy's practically choking my dick — look, fucking look, baby girl."

your head grazes his as you both watch his member disappear inside you, getting off at the lewd sight of the glistening sheen of your essence wrapped around his cock and the loud squelching noise it makes when he rams it into you again. you whimper, pulling akaashi down for a kiss as your ankles hook around his back, pulling him deeper as his pace quickens and his balls slap against your skin.

"see that? your pussy keeps sucking me back in. bet you're desperate for my cock, aren't you?" you never thought akaashi to be the type who's into talking dirty, you thought he was the gentle, vanilla type. but alcohol always brings around quite interesting things about a person after getting drunk. 

you cling onto him for dear life as his hand reaches down to draw figure eights against your puffy clit, eliciting the most feral of moans from you that could rival that of pornstars. "sir," you shudder. "please, sir. please."

"please what?" he grabs your lower back, pulling your torso up to hit an angle that makes you see stars. 

"please, let me cum! please."

akaashi clicks his tongue before raising a perfectly plucked eyebrow. "you didn't listen to me when i was the one begging, why should i listen to you?"

your hands wrap around his neck, sobbing against the crook of his neck by the sheer pleasure you felt. he can't understand your mindless babbling. all inside keiji's mind is the feel of your perked nipples grazing his chest and your plush walls wrapping around him so prettily. he never did it raw, having you as his first time doing it without a condom pushed him way over the edge than he wants to admit. 

"be-because — ah — i didn't —"

akaashi hauls you up into a sitting position, arms wrapped around you securely as you straddle him. he yanks you away from his neck, a tight grip wrapped around your throat as he stares straight into your eyes as he fucks up into you, feeling his balls slap against your skin. "what? cock's that good you can't even speak?"

he feels your hips stutter as you sob, tiny hands wrapped around his wrists. you didn't even try bouncing and meeting his thrusts anymore. "sir, please! s'too much! wanna cum —"

"then fucking work for it," he stils his hips. "fuck me back, baby girl. come on. you said you wanted to ride me, didn't you? bet this is what you've been thinking about for the whole night. that's the only thing my baby girl's capable of right? thinking 'bout my cock and nothing else? such a dumb little baby."

your legs quivered and shook as you obliged and pulled yourself half way up, before meeting him halfway and impaling yourself back down his cock. the first time you did it had both of you whining, akaashi quickly threading his hands through your hair to yank your face towards him. he wants to imprint this memory into his mind. to be able to merely shut his eyes and be transported back to the night you both were intoxicated and you let him use your cunt like a fleshlight. 

all sense of manners were thrown out the window as his ocean eyes memorized the way your eyes rolled back when he hits a sweet spot, the way your nose scrunches when the pleasure becomes overwhelming, the way the drool shamelessly trickles down the side of your lips as your tongue sticks out and he so badly wanted to spit but he didn't in fear of making you uncomfortable. everything. he wants to memorize everything. 

"just a little more, pretty girl. you can do it. together, okay? cum before me and you'll fucking regret it."

he grabs you closer, burying your face in his neck and planting his feet firm on the ground as he pistons his cock into you. it's not the heat of your body, or your pretty cries, or the lewd sound of skin slapping that made him cum. no. it was your sheer desperation and vulnerability as you bit his shoulders and yelled at the top of your lungs. 

"keiji!"

he pulled out at record speed and had made a mess on his torso but he was hardly able to register any of these. so fucked out and sated and content to have you sitting on his lap as he stares at your plain ceiling. he doesn't even realize you've dropped down to your knees and started lapping up the essence splayed on his torso until he felt the hot muscle of your tongue. "(y/n) —"

"what happened to baby girl?" you tease, a playful smile on your lips as you meet his eyes. "you were so into it, 'kaashi. you should've seen your face — well, i was… kinda into it too, anyway."

it took akaashi around three seconds for everything to finally sink in, to fully sober up and let the gears work in his head. the realization of what had gone down on your sofa, of the things he told you, brings about an embarrassment greater than anything he's ever felt in his entire life. suddenly, he's shoving you away from him and draping the discarded blanket around your naked form whilst politely looking away. then he quickly covers his soft dick with one of your throw pillows.

"oh, my god. i'm so sorry. this is a mistake — shit — i'm sorry! you see, i've liked you ever since and not as a friend and i swear i'm not the type to just —"

"keiji" you snap him out of it. "i like you too, okay? now don't go around saying it's a mistake or i'm going to throw you off the roof. do you want me to throw you off the roof? right. i don't think so. now, come on! get your sexy ass dressed, we're going somewhere."

"where... are we going?"

"i'm craving ice cream. so for our first date, buying ice cream at 2am!"

#(❁ᴗ͈ˬᴗ͈) mine ༉‧ #ˏˋ°•*⁀➷ queue’d! #thirsthours #haikyuu smut #hq smut #haikyuu scenarios #hq scenarios #haikyuu imagines #hq imagines #haikyuu #akaashi keiji #akaashi smut #akaashi keiji smut #akaashi keiji x reader #akaashi keiji x you #akaashi keiji x yn #hq akaashi #akaashi haikyuu

[mlm-mod-taka]

hello!! im resubmitting the transmasc reader coming out to shuichi and hajime request :00 and dw abt it!! stuff happens :]

COMING OUT • hajime, shuichi x transmasc reader

thank you for understanding! i really dislike inconveniencing people, so ill definitely try my best not to do it again. ill attempt to make up for it with these hcs, even though im not the best at writing for hajime and shuichi. i hope you enjoy these!

tws/cws: mentions of misgendering and dead naming.

|| -> mod taka <3

is worried when you ask to talk to him privately. whatever youre about to say to him, it must be a big deal for you to look so worried and serious at the same time.

"is something wrong s/o? did anything happen?" he'll listen intently as you try to explain to him that youre transmasc, and that you want to go by different pronouns now.

once you finally get it out of your mouth, he just pauses for a second, no emotion on his face. right when youre about to say sorry and that he should just ignore what you said, he goes "so youre my boyfriend now, right?" theres no sign of hostility or agression in his voice.

you think for a second, and nod. "hm, i suppose that would make me bisexual." hajime says again, then he looks up at you, smiling. "thanks for telling me s/o. what pronouns do you want to go by?"

really doesnt cause that much of a hassle when you do come out to him. if youre ready to tell everyone else, then he'll offer to say it to them instead of you so they dont bombard you with questions.

if youre not ready yet, then he'll just nod. he will discretly start using they/them pronouns for you though, hed rather not misgender you and make you uncomfortable because of others.

will cook you food that increases your testosterone and decreases your estrogen! that is, if he could cook. instead just asks teruteru to cook you some eggs since they increase t, and some mushrooms since they decrease estrogen.

will start using traditionally masc ways to compliment you, if youre comfortable with that! will also use gender neutral ways to address you. most likely will call you his lover/partner rather than boyfriend.

corrects people who use the wrong pronouns, and also tell others to stop throwing your deadname around. finds it really annoying that he still hears people use those, so he tries his best to get them to stop doing so.

gets onto the "my partner is trans and thats cool." part of social media, he doesnt know how and he doesnt know why, but he just does. will often send you the photos and memes he finds on that side of the internet.

if he ever does something even remotely offensive or wrong, please correct him! he wont put up an arguement since he knows that he has no say with whats offensive to trans people when hes not trans himself, so he'll immediately apologize and correct whatever he was doing.

honestly, you being transmasc doesnt really effect the way he sees you at all. the only difference is he now sees you as more androgynous and with a different name. he still loves you, inside and out.

probably had a feeling that you werent cis beforehand, but he doesnt comment on it in case hes wrong. once you do come out to him, hes very supportive.

"thank you for trusting me enough to tell me. do you have a new name and new pronouns you want me to use?"

he switches to your new set of pronouns and your name very easily, and never uses your old ones again. his mind probably saw you as androgynous even if you originally identified as a woman, so its not that big of a change.

buys you traditionally masculine clothing you can wear to any formal events, so you dont have to feel gender dysphoria if you ever need to go to one and you only have old gowns.

buys you 7 new binders so you can wear a clean one during every day of the week. also includes those fabric transmasc flags that you can put up on your wall as decoration.

probably identified as lgbtq+ already, so his label most likely didnt change after you came out.

when its june, he asks if you want to go to the biggest pride parade in the area, and just have a small date near it. he wants you to be proud of who you are, so he often asks if you can do things like that together.

probably gives you alot of transmasc colored items. you passed a math test with flying colors once, so he gave you a cake that was colored as the transmasc flag inside as a little surprise.

really likes giving you those kinds of things, he thinks your flag is so pleasing to the eye. therefore, any chance he gets to give you something like that, he takes it immediately.

will send you funny tiktoks involving your identities. you dont know how he finds them, but theyre hilarious so you just want him to keep sending them to you.

hes already quite educated with the problems and the taboo subjects/actions in the trans community, and he definitely knows his boundaries. if he finds something that states that whatever hes doing/thinking is problematic, he instantly gets rid of that part of him with no struggle or second thought.

marks the day that you came out to him so you and him can celebrate it every year. its a big sign of trust and loyalty to him, which is a thing that he thinks should be celebrated.

one of the few times he isnt timid is when someone misgenders or deadnames you. he all of a sudden becomes this serious and stoic character when he heard someone referring to you like that.

is just very happy that you trust him enough to tell him who you really are, and will treasure you forever. loves you either way, because youre still the same person he loves, regardless of your gender.

#📍 dismissal ∆ #hajime hinata #hajime #hajime hinata x reader #hajime x reader #shuichi saihara #shuichi #shuichi saihara x reader #shuichi x reader #danganronpa x reader #danganronpa headcanons

[hobisstar]

What are you hiding from love?| Yandere!Jk x Reader III

Summary: Being in a relationship with Jungkook you’ve always noticed the signs, the red flags if you will. Being so in love with him you ignored them, until the people you loved dearly started disappearing one by one.

Warnings: Murder, Jungkook victim blaming ( like he will say i killed you because you are too stupid or whatever), Possessiveness, Mentions of Smut, Controlling, Locking up YN, Attempt Suicide.

Viewers Discretion is advised.

Taglist: vante 🫶🏾

A/N: This is made to be scary! That is all. I honestly dont like mixing smut with yandere because i read yandere fics to be spooked not horny lol. This chapter will contain attempt suicide.

2 months.

2 bloody months.

It’s been 2 months since yn found out about what jungkook does as a so called hobby.

He’s promised to let her roam around the house if need be and that he didn’t break.

The only thing was when he was at work or out of the house, he made sure she was in his office locked away from the eye.

Yn currently, was tired. Tired of being treated so nicely but so terribly at the the same time. He loves her but keeps her locked away. Why?

She swore she’d never tell a soul about anything that she has seen, as long as he lets her live peacefully, that is.

But, every day Jungkook left for work, Yn was thinking of different ways to get out. Being locked up the only way out was the window.

Residing on the 5th floor of the apartment building, the window was the only option. That was death awaiting her. Yn knew that.

But what else was left to live for? When your lover has had so many hidden lies, a life you never imagined. A life you assumed wasn’t even in his blood.

The signs were always there. But being so love yn ignored the flags.

Thinking maybe he just wants to make sure I am protected, maybe he wants to keep me safe.

This all was things she thought of plenty of times.

With a rush of adrenaline Yn went into thinking. Yes, the window is the only option, but she didn’t want to die. Maybe she could just break the window open and attempt to jump, maybe someone would see her and come help her right?

Without any other thinking she started punching at the window. Hurting yes, but the pain was washed away with the feeling of wanting to be free.

Yn continued to punch at the window seeing little cracks and not caring if her first and hands where covered in blood. She wanted out.

“One more hit..” she thought and with that one hit she heard the glass shatter and freedom was waiting for her.

Looking down she saw the ground and her heart dropped to her stomach. Would this really be the end? Al because of the being locked up? I mean he loves her, but it was suffocating.

Jungkook was smiling as he got out of his car with dinner and flowers. He stepped into the building and seen his neighbor standing at the front desk. He waved but she looked worried.

“Jungkook! Oh thank god your here! I think someone broke into your home! I headed glass shatter-“

Dashing to the elevator he aggressively pressed the button. “Fucking come on!” He yelled impatiently as if he didn’t just press the button 1 second ago.

He kicked the door and went for the emergency stairs. 5 cases of stairs? No problem. His heart was in his stomach but he swore he could hear it in his ears. She wouldn’t hurt herself to just get away from him would she? Of course not… or maybe Jungkook was wrong. What if someone broke in and oh god…

With that thought he finally reached the stairs and lucky for him there home was right next to the emergency exit. Jungkook quite literally kicked the door down and saw Bam barking at the office door.

“Baby! Baby are you in there?” He yelled through the door ,not hearing a response. Without thinking he kicked the door handle a few times and it fell to the ground.

Pushing the door open he entered the cold room and gasped.

Yn was sitting on the window frame backwards. Facing the door, well now him, Yn let a tear roll down her cheek. “Baby… whatever you are thinking about doing right now… we can talk it out, yeah? We don’t have to get hurt while doing this…” he calmly approaches her talking small but huge steps towards her.

The softness of his voice made her only want to lean back faster. “ we can’t talk, Jungkook. I’m done being in here…”, “ is that was this is about? Baby, I’ll stop locking you in here for good but please get down from the window…” at this point Jungkook was crying without even noticing he was crying.

“No! I want to be free I want to leave.” Yn stated and scooted back even more feeling the glass stab her in her hands and In the back of her thigh.

“Let me go…” she mumbled looking back at him and he froze.

“You-Your doing this… to leave me? Why aren’t I good to you?” He moved closer carefully, not wanting her to leave. “I don’t want to die! But if this is the only way to get away from you then I’m willing to take that risk…”

Without thinking Jungkook jumped and grabbed her pulling her off the window quickly which sent her into gasping feeling the glass that was in her thigh come out.

She didn’t fight she didn’t cry. What’s the point? Yn knew she wasn’t going to jump she loved her life but just didn’t like the part of this. She felt jungkook wrap her in his arms and he cried as loud as he ever cried.

It’s only begun, maybe she can use this as a way to get out of here? What if he went crazy and killed her himself? What if he actually pushed her out that window? So many thoughts ran through her head at the moment of being in his arms.

“Never say that again baby,” he looked at her tears dropping from his eyes to his cheeks, down to his shirt. “ I love you too much to loose you, why don’t you understand that?”

Maybe this was the end. Maybe this was just a sign to let her go in Jungkook eyes.

She was willing to kill herself then be with him…

He had a decision to make

#jungkook #bts jeongguk #jeon jungkook #bts x reader #jungkook x reader #hobisstar writes #jk x reader #jk ff #jungkook ff #jungkook yandere #yandere jungkook #bts yandere

[seijorhi]

asks

alright i’m compiling these because today was a lot 

i dont think there was even any negative stereotizing of black men bc all of the men in your fics do dark things??? pls ppl be looking for crumbs to hate 😭😭😭

i mean that’s kind of my view. if you’re writing like mainstream fics and characterising aran (and aran alone) as somebody who’s aggressive and rapey and all of that, absolutely, that’s a real red flag, but everybody is equally as awful in my fics. i don’t do fluff or any kind of safe, sane and consensual so??

 Who is aran? And what fandom?

aran is from haikyuu, he’s an outside hitter for inarizaki :)

Please bb write that Aran fic! That man is sexy af and there is not enough content out there for daddy Aran! Please! I’ll give you my whole heart if you write it out of spite!

haha i’m honestly tempted 👀

Lol maybe the aran anon sent to the apology to the wrong creator 😂 

I don’t think it’s nice to tell people to delete their fics cause that uncomfortable. Also it’s not your only JUST writing Aran fics 😂

yeah idk the ask felt very half cocked but it’s whatever

I’m sorry there are people being mean to u :( is there anything I can do to help? Is there a way for you to blog that aran anon?

it’s okay, i’m not really bothered by it – mostly because it doesn’t actually apply to me but anyway lol

Anon, if you don’t like dark content then use the content AND tag filter to block it. I don’t think you understand how both HATEFUL and RUDE it is to demand a writer to delete their fic. If you really dislike their content, then block it. Every single writer does not exist to cater to YOUR preferences. Sorry you’re getting this rude and ridiculous anon Rhi! Thank you so much for writing amazing pieces 💕

it’s all good, bby, but i do agree. tumblr has a blocking system, people should use. also i would never delete a fic just because somebody came to complain to me about it

What’s a moot? Sorry i should know this

a mutual - somebody who you follow and who follows you back :))

Did anon think you were just writing yandere fics for Aran or smth👀 Did they ignore the entire masterlist full of other characters

i don’t think they bothered to think about it, just went straight to jumping down my throat after making an assumption over blindsided

To Aran Anon, don’t you think intentionally excluding the black characters of haikyuu in fanfic writing is inherently ✨ r a c i s t ✨?

I think anon needs a pair of glasses, cause I don’t think they see the bigger picture of this issue.

i understand where they’re coming from i just think that their viewpoint (at least in this case) kinda doesn’t make sense, but hey, they’re entitled to feel how they feel, i’m more irritated that they came up and asked me to delete a fic over it

first time sending something in but i gotta bc wtf is that aran anon on?? like i get that it can be seen as demonizing black men but does anon not know that literally almost every other character is asian lmao dont pick and choose which group of poc can or cant be in dc fics its all in good fun and horniness at the end of the day ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ also i love you youre one of the few haikyuu dc creators thatll always have me entertained keep it up babes <3

yeah, it’s just all a bit ??? but what’re you gonna do. 

also i love you too thanks for this bby!

Pretty sure I just bombed my Math exam 😢

Please send one good vibe my way it would be appreciated (also big fan of your work, please never stop being great!!!)

aw i’m sorry bby, i’m sending you all the good vibes and love 💕

I’m writing for Oikawa rn and I need help because your yandere Oikawa is so...amazing. What nicknames do you think he uses with reader? Like darling, cutie, sweetheart...anything?

sweetheart, cutie & babe/baby are my go-to’s for oiks :) but darling works too!

hello this is the anon who u made simp for oikawa even tho ive never having seen haikyuu dropping by to say you are my favorite writer!! i picked this flower for u ✿

I LOVE YOU!!!

omg i would love a second fic for final girl! the whole story and concept is super interesting ALSO i love bo kuroo and akaashi 🤍 (i love your fics and ideas in general ily)

well it’s currently winning with 354 votes so :))

So I voted for Final Girl but I'm sure whatever fic wins it will still be a masterpiece but what fic are you rooting for Rhi?

honestly i think i could go for a blindsided part 2 or et tu part 2 efbhjvkl i just wanna write more manager au’s

don't mind me, just coming here say that y'all are really sleeping on Good Girl 😟 It's a total chef's kiss 1000/10 fic.

fdhcbjiewrkoviwhrtj my first hq fic 

Do you read manga or watch anime? 🥺 Where do you watch you’re anime (if you do), I can’t find anywhere to watch after kiss anime was shut down 😭

i watch animes across crunchyroll, hidive and netflix. manga’s i just google but i’ve only read a few

Istg the way you write these fanfics are

I M M A C U L A T E

We love you!

I LOVE YOU TOO THANK YOU SM BBY!

#discourse #BD answers #i'm not gonna talk about the whole aran thing beyond this #but it's not all discourse

[aberfaeth]

ooh ☕️ criminal minds female characters?

criminal minds female characters my fucking BELOVED

im startin with seaver and todd bc hyping up widely detested female characters is like half of my personality lmao. ppl on the clock app are SOOO mean to them and for what! ashley seaver is GOOD she had a fun lil backstory! fun lil daddy issues! and god jordan todd is the world to me actually like idc that she was only in 8 episodes or whatever!!! like it could be that deep!!!! jordan todd perpetual perfectionist coming off of her job in counterterrorism where results matter more than methods, lying to that woman because it would get them the information they needed to stop a serial killer, floundering under hotch’s disapproval because she didn’t know, she had no idea. terrified that she’s fucked this thing up already. and when she’s given a second chance, promising herself she’s going to stick to it, she’s going to do whatever it takes. but she can’t, she had no idea it was going to be this bad and she can’t just move on like nothing happened, and it’s not a character flaw but she can’t help but see it as such. even when she breaks on the steps of normal hill’s house and rossi tells her it’s okay she just can’t believe it, but there’s nothing to do about it because she can’t fucking do this and there’s no way around it. so she picks herself up and holds the shame and the sorrow and the disappointment and says i hope you dont take her for granted.

um. anyways . moving on

megan kane was right, ellen and darlene from the pact were right. megan kane’s death actually one of the most heartbreaking moments in the show i think! i think about will you stay with me yes promise i promise parallel every day of my life like. hotch isnt the dad figure we deserve but hes the dad figure we need etc. also the moment in the pact when ellen gets arrested and looks thru the bus window and sees darlene getting away and just. grins so big despite the fact that she claimed not to give a shit about her. gay CINEMA!!!! i hope darlene beckett is doing ok she deserves the world

tara lewis is genuinely one of my favorite characters in all of media ever and i want to DISCUSS it bc ohhh my god every one of the episodes surrounding her is gold. false flag is so fucking choice and the way she stays true and good even in the face of a person literally designed in a lab to get under her skin is just. and the episode with her ex husband i forget what its called but that episode hurt me to my core for real. her feeding emily the lines about dealing with a loved one with an addiction was so heartbreaking aisha tyler emmy where. where is it

what else wht else. i love elle but the way ppl excuse the police brutality bc its like Girlboss Police Brutality is fucked up. blake is my wife and i wish she sticked around longer bc her and spencer’s relationship was really sweet like the crossword scene...sobbing. would have liked her to meet diana reid. kate callahan also so so dear to me also the fact that we almost had bi kate.....cm writers i just wanna talk

honestly i dont have many hot takes abt jj em or penny i just love them with my whole heart and soul. jeez this got long i am so sorry lmaooooo

#tysm abby and also im sorry for the 1000 word essay i just wrote u omg #criminal minds #cm #long post #c.ask #gukgaksupremacy

[badfauxmance]

Hiii! First of all i want to say that I loveeee your blog, I found it 3 days ago and I’ve been reading all of your posts since... and God, was I naive about the celebrity world!!! I actually believed for a second that Ale’s and Seb’s relationship was real 🥺 Anyways, I’m still learning about how all this whole PR thing works, so I’m sorry if my question is stupid, but I was wondering why Sebastian agreed to this whole thing in the first place? I mean, he seems like such a private person1/2

2/2 that hates all these internet and media drama, so why would he gather in a relationship like this? Is it because he signed with CAA, and therefore he doesnt have a saying on this anymore and has to do as he’s told? Again, i’m sorry if I sound stupid I’m just trying to learn how these things work so I dont fall for fake shit anymore lol Sorry for such a long question!

Hi! Welcome to the blog! Okay I’m combining your two-parter Ask on here so I’ll delete the other one in the inbox just to simplify things.

Eh... it’s understandable. I mean not everyone realizes this was all fakery from the start, but hey at least now you figured it out. Most of us were just casual fans. We’d read the latest news and just move on with our lives not thinking much of it. But then... you notice something funky is going on and the next thing you know you fell down the rabbit hole like we did and you now see signs of fakery all over the place. You said it yourself, he’s not really the type who loves to get into drama and tons of attention on his relationships. This was one of the many red flags that made me and the co-writers suspect shenanigans are happening.

Actually ALL the way back in November/December I was doing a series of posts about this nonsense, but then we suddenly got an explosion of followers sending in Asks and well I never got back to it. I planned to do it, but I’m experiencing fatigue on this. But who knows maybe some of you guys might be into reading more of the Saga series I was working on. I still have posts in the Draft folder waiting for me to continue it. One of the parts was actually going to be a full explanation why Sebastian is doing this, but I’ll give you the short version here.

Basically we here at Badfauxmance (and other speculators we talk to) have puzzled this out. Our suspicion is that Sebastian did this because of a couple factors. CAA is, I think, his third agency he’s worked with. Doing this seems to us like a sign that he’s not satisfied with the roles or the projects he’s been getting with said agency. So this would point towards someone with real career ambitions.

He’s signed up with this top tier agency, which is probably his big chance at getting bigger projects down the road. He’s going to be inclined to play ball with whatever ideas they bring to him. His original agents very likely bring up the idea to be seen dating with someone. This is a classic Hollywood PR strategy. Nothing gets the public talking about you like being seen dating someone or speculated that you’re dating someone. This would get attention on him and therefore make people more aware he exists if they don’t already know him from Marvel. Let’s be realistic, Sebastian won’t be playing Bucky Barnes forever. They need to do more to get him some attention. Not to mention, CAA in particular has a reputation of their clients getting tons of gossip notice and pap walks every other week.

Sebastian isn’t a slave. He’s not being forced to do anything against his will. It’s quite possible that he didn’t handle isolation during the beginning of the pandemic well and he might have gotten desperate to DO something other than being stuck at home for hours at a time. This could have made him more easily persuaded to do this nonsense. Had he been stronger willed, he might have insisted that he should do this with someone who is a local so it’s less problematic looking traveling to other countries for pap walks. Problem is that once you sign the dotted line, you got to stick with the agreed upon rules. There’s usually penalties included if either party violates the rules in the contract. So to a certain degree, while the contract is in effect, there’s not much he can do.

We noticed back in December he did a bit of “rebellion” and he had to do stuff to make up for his digression of the narrative he had to push. It’s all ridiculous when you realize it’s fake.

Anyways, thanks for your interest! Welcome again!

#sebastian stan #we are counting down to when this contract is over #when will this trainwreck stop? #we still love you seb

[swaglexander-the-great]

If you feel like it : develop on your hatred of the new Beauty and the Beast movie? I've heard a lot of salt about the way the music score was handled 👀

O MAN DO NOT DO THIS

Every time I think about this film, rage fills me like a super saiyan powering up and i scream

How do i even start

i think i will do bullet points

these will not be in any coherent order, I take no criticisms on this or my extreme bias

also i have not watched this movie for like years so my rage may outweigh my accuracy BUT

The opening?? With Cate blanchett narrating?? Who do u think u are?? Lord of the Rings? Peter Jackson in an epic trilogy changing the world forever?? You’re Disney eating your own meal and shitting it out again don’t fucking even try it

They didn’t even change anything and the animated intro was much shorter and better

The enchantress enters like Malificent, acts like a trickster god japing bitches, but try to paint her as Good uwu Princess.

Gaston, roughly the size of an ox if the ox was a slightly buff man who would bounce off Terry Crew’s majestic chest like a ping pong ball

You don’t have to be a crusty cynical adult to narrow ur eyes at that twunk picking up a solid 170kg of two people and think CGI

Yes, a queer-coded snivelling sidekick who adores a horrible man is exactly the gay representation we all wanted may I lick ur boots Disney and also suck ur dick but only if we say no homo

Gaston’s sidekick (don’t ask me to spell french) bribing the bar people to like Gaston or something??? The whole point?? Is that Gaston DOES check off the list for Desirable Bachelor in those times!! Can hunt? Yes. Lorge? Yes. Well off? Yup! An asshole? Of course, but does that matter in these times? No! Your privilege is to wash his socks! But Belle is a Different and Special Girl who DOESN’T find Gaston attractive for all the things the village thots do! Gaston is the outer ‘perfection’ that society praises while he’s still a cunt, the Beast is seeing the goodness within no matter what society says! The whole movie is fucking inverted by that one goddamn scene!! I hate this film!!!

this also makes it fuckin weird that they then discriminate against Maurice and side with gaston in the end? The villagers just do whatever the fuck the writer wants them to do and in this it’s so painfully obvious, the CEO of disney may as well be standing there with flags directing their movements in the background, I hate this fucking film

Instead of making cool inventions belles dad just makes like, a weird dolls house if I remember correctly

THEY DUBBED THE WOLVES IWTH TIGER NOISES! W  H   Y

The Be My Guest was so lacklustre. It was like a clown singing kareoke in an empty warehouse while frisbees fly around. You wasted Ewan McGregor on this. Disney has no imagination anymore

To add to that, the ending ballroom scene dance thing?? Lacklustre. Disappoint. Bad dress.

The best character in this film is the horse, who not only remembers the impossible way to the Beast castle, but runs at max speed between the two locations (a half-day journey), regularly with ease, carries the Beast, who IS roughly the size of an ox, and fights off fucking wolves who also seem to totally ignore his presence

Disney robbed me of the one scene I did desperately want, which was Belle deadlifting the Beast on to the main character, the horse

THE PLAGUE

ok the fucking plague ok. You do not mess with the goddamn plague. And this wasn’t cowpox either, this was the full 1500’s shithole Paris Black Death burn-you-alive fucking PLAGUE. Belle’s mom had the Plague, and both her and her dad somehow did not contract this while living with her through her entire sickness, they go to a different town (ISOLATE U HEATHENS) and then?? The Beast and Belle GO BACK to a plague house and run their hands all over shit! Do you know how long the plague takes to die off?? Even TODAY when we dig up a plague pit, everyone has to get immunized, I know this from EXPERIENCE. Congratulations, you and the Beast either have plague or have introduced it to your lovely village. Do not fuck lightly with the plague.

The magic fucking teleportation book.

Why

what the shit

w

t

WHY

They use this shit to instantly Star Trek beam themselves into a plague house

I assume the Beast wasn’t using this to heist random women to see if they would fall in love with him because, like, why would you not do this when you can just politely return them with your stupid magical teleport book

People attack the castle? Use the magical teleport book dumbass

The Beast’s unnecessary, long, boring song from the top of some fucking tower, idk, I skipped it, I got bored

The Beast design. What’s the point if he doesn’t look like feral garbage please. Also his voice pissed me off but I can’t remember why

I dont like him even personality wise

give him to Guillemo del toro you cowards

This was set in Actual History for some fucking stupid reason, and for another unfathomable reason, it was set directly before the French Revolution, so I guess it’s not a happy ending at all. Who wants to be transformed into a guillotine ?

Why is it so fucking dark half the time

The teapot is creepy

Why in the shit did we get the Prince’s fuckin weird tragic backstory? We don’t care. Man get turned beast is what we come for. And why? Why do we need a tragic backstory to excuse his actions? Can he not just be an asshole? Rich, stupid asshole? Who then maybe has to learn a lesson? Instead of oh tortured soul rich boy is so misunderstood! No. Die.

Disney’s absolute desperate need to have characters be ONLY GOOD or BAD BAD makes me want to knee the face of the collective corporation so hard that they are sent into the Hell Dimension

Where did the hot priest at the start go? Why do I think of him sometimes

They want this to be painfully French, but somehow ends up and an even more agonizing blend between painfully British and ass-kissingly american.

Why does the castle just fall apart like that. What is holding it together? Spirit gum? Why? Stone that looks like it has been soldered together with a welding iron doesn’t just give out, or The Earth would have caved in millenia ago

Ian McKellan uses his Gandalf voice and in this film it’s honestly a crime and also jarring to hell

The prince is not hot at all

The stupid dubbed growl at the end which I try so hard to repress makes me want to throw myself into a swimming pool full of mace

The only 1 good thing about this film was the dude who got dressed up by the dresser and was so fucking happy about it.

People complain about the soundtrack, but I for one refused to listen to the songs that bored me within the first 20 seconds, and the ones I listened to were like average remakes of the OGs so that wasn’t really the worst sin

This film so visibly sucked its own dick that this is probably why it was banned in china

Thinking about this film makes me want to commit Violence so I think it’s about time I stopped

I will not be taking constructive criticism or counterpoints to anything about my thoughts on this ever.

Goodbye and thank you for your curiosity

#beauty and the beast #beauty and the beast 2017 #disney #emma watson #disney remakes #I want to beat this film to death #asks #my asks #awesome people #writing #film reviews

[footponshoulder]

So regular followers know I use this platform now and again just to post about how im feeling. Just scroll past this kind of shit, it is more a way of getting things off my chest without actually having to talk to anyone about it and as I am shit at explaining things verbally it never comes out right anyway.

But yeah for the past couple of weeks I dont know, I dont feel depressed, but neither am I happy.

Let me explain wa gwaan for some context.

Around this time last year I had probably the most terrible mental health breakdown I have ever had. I am actually surprised my mum didn’t get me sectioned, because at that time I probably needed it. This was down to a break up with my ex.

Well, at the start of December, I did the silly thing of getting back in contact with her, and yeah you know the score....

Like I did really like this girl when I was going out with her, even though she fucked with my mind nuff times in the 9-10 months we were together, I cant really explain it, but she just had something about her, I was a metaphorical moth to a flame.

So after we linked a couple of times, we agreed to take things slooooow and just see how things go, no pressure, nothing. And that is how I wanted to it too, I did not want to go in all guns blazing and based upon my past experiences with her, allow her to mentally fuck me over once more (since what happened back in Jan last year, my mental health has honestly been the best it has been ever since I had my first mental breakdown when I was 27-28, you could even say I have been content with life for the first time since I was probably a teenager)

But then at the start of Jan, she went back to just airing me (this is what she did constantly when we were together, I know she wasnt cheating or whatever, but her own mental health issues come to the fore). Now I have told her plenty times that kind of shit is not fair on me or anyone infact, and if things are hard then all you need to do is explain it to me, of course I would try and help, but ultimately it is her life, so there is only so much I can do, and it is down to her if she wants that help anyway.

I know that her mental health has seriously plummeted recently, just going by what she posts on social media. I have tried to reach out, not even on a simpin tip, but as someone who is genuinely worried  about her welfare. I have sent texts and tried to call and make it clear that it is cool if she doesnt want to talk, but just to tell me she is okay, even if she isnt. But calls ignored, texts not replied to.

I was thinking about this earlier, unless I am close to you, if you act in that kind of way to me then I honestly couldnt care less, you’re just out of my life. Thank U next. 

But I cant do this to her. Again I can not explain why. For what she did to me last year I am WELL within my rights to say “fuck you” and get along with my life. 

I have breakups in the past of course, some better than others (note the ex before the one I am talking about now, who literally stabbed me when we broke up lol) but never ever have I felt this kind of way towards someone. 

But the problem is, it is consuming me. I just want to hear from her. I can not stop myself checking her social media to see how she is doing, because that is the only way for me to know that she is still ‘there’ if you get me.

However at the same time, I second guess myself, to think, well was it something I said when we linked to make her par me off. Or has she come to her senses and realised meeting up was the wrong thing to do. Well if that is the case and you are too embarrassed to admit it, then just block me, atleast then I would get the message.

I have even told her, like if you want me to fuck off out your life, all you need to do is tell me and I will. I think then it would actually trigger something in my brain to get on with my life. But no, she is always checking my story on Insta, so I know there must be some sort of feeling there?!

Anyway, in the past few years I have learnt what triggers my real bad depression episodes, and that is rejection, and just like Freud said it stems back to my Mum and how I was treated growing up. 

But because I have genuinely strived so hard in the past year to be more positive and better myself, I have not become all depressed, but I just have no discernible emotions at the moment. Not in the Anhedonia/Avolition sense. I guess how I can describe it, is that life my emotions are just ‘beige’. Not dark, nor colorful, just mehhhhh.

Not that i want to be all depressive and slitting my wrists, far from it, but atleast then I actually know how I am feeling. Feeling something is better than feeling nothing right?

Like I have been thinking all evening, about whether I should try and call her, but then I dont want to embarrass myself when she doesnt answer, or send a text and get left on ‘read’ (and btw, I am not some total freak trying to call her every day, or sending a million texts). However at the same time, i want her to know I still care about her, in the sense that I just want to make sure she is ‘okay’. But knowing her, she wont reach out to me first, so all I can do is try, but should I be bothering to try? There is only so much ignoring I can take, but I know she is finding this 3rd lockdown particularly hard. So I do not want to push to hard for some sort of recognition from her, but nor can I be that much of cunt and just delete her out myself.

LOL why the fuck cant my life just be a bit more simpler, and why the fuck do I go for girls who are just human red flags?!

Anyway I have a banging headache. I’m out. Peace and Love x

[fuzzylumpkins]

I GIVE UP. (a secret open letter)

Hi. I know youre a morning person, and you're always busy everyday. especially on a Monday, and i really dont wanna rain on your parade, but given the situation, i just know na hindi ko na kaya patagalin pa to ng ilang araw, or iset aside nanaman. So im sorry if your first day of the week and your day itself starts off with this letter.

I also know na you dont really read my long messages and youre probably thinking, "Hay, ito nanaman si Mara and mga long letters nya." But im asking you to please read all of these. Alam ko pag gising mo you will shrug this off, and it's okay. who would want a buzzkill to start their day with, diba? Hehe but again, please. Please take time to read this and understand where this is all coming from. You can always save these messages to your vault and read it later kung nasa mood ka na, or if me time ka na. But please dont disregard this letter.

Anyway,

It's exactly 2:15 in the morning. I havent slept since i messaged you last night/kanina. I had to stop crying, and collect myself entriely, para kalmado ako (kanina kalmado actually ako. You just got scared na magstorm off ako, and turned off your phone. Pero thankfully, kalmado ako nun. And i guess thats a really good thing, kasi di na ako galit. But i guess that's also a sign na pagod na ako talaga.

So yeah, i needed to collect myself, hindi na ako umiiyak as i am writing this (but i probably will cry at the end or maybe even in the middle of writing of this letter! hehe) Nag relax muna ako from my last message sayo, doing nothing, because I needed to calm myself even more, kasi I wanted to write this letter, na yun nga, kalmado, that way, mas sure ako sa mga sasabihin ko, and sa magiging decisions ko.

Love, im giving up. This time it's for real. Ayaw ko na talaga. Alam ko ilang beses mo na narinig sakin yan. And i end up eating my words, as soon as you talk to me, throw me nice words, treat me with kindness. parang bigla nalang, "nabibihag" mo nanaman ako. Pero ayaw ko na love. Suko na ako. Surrender na ako. Matigas ka talaga. 😢 hehe And honestly, hindi ko na mafeel yung worth ko sayo. I feel useless, and i feel like im worth nothing to you because of these feelings, na matagal ko na nararamdaman, but i always choose to ignore. Kasi in denial ako. These are the red flags i'd like to let you know.

You never gave me any compromise.

Thats one thing i wanted to hear from you, never mo naman ginawan ng paraan. Parang tinatawanan mo lang yung hurt na nararamdaman ko. Never mo ginawan ng solusyon.

You dont give me an assurance.

Wala akong peace of mind. Im sorry pero, wala na akong trust. You lost my trust, i cant trust you, i wont trust you — kasi never mo naman ako pinafeel good, and never mo naman ako binigyan ng assurance na never mo na gagawin sakin na mahurt ako. Parang feeling ko never mo gnawa yun, kasi ikaw mismo sa sarili mo hindi mo masigurado na kaya mo.

I gave you a second chance , but you never valued that second chance.

Tandang tanda ko pa how you hurt me that night na nakita ko yung unang time na finollow mo yang nur aypha na yan. We talked about it sa Biton. You said sorry you cried. —- hindi ko akalain na ung cool guy lawrence would feel so guilty that day, and cry, and lunok his pride and say sorry to me. Sobra kong happy that moment kasi akala ko sobrang love mo ako. September 21 yun. DO YOU KNOW WHY DECEMBER 23 KO PA ULIT NA NALAMAN NA NEVER MO PALA INUNFOLLOW? Because i dont check you, i dont check your account because i trusted you. Sobra ko lang katrust sayo. Ganun ako kaconfident sa love mo sakin. Pero that december night na nalaman ko yun, it was my gut telling me na something’s up. And ever since then, HINDI NA AKO NATAHIMIK. Hindi ko akalain na yung time na akala ko ok ka, na nagsorry ka, na binigyan kita ng second chance, hindi ko akalain na in that span, may pa like like ka pa ng LAHAT ng pictures nya. As in every upload. Alam mo yung nasa isip ko? Isahan mo lang gilike lahat yun. Tapos nakita nya, na “uy may flood likes ako from an ex..” and thats already enough reason to start a conversation between you two. :”( or hindi ko alam kung lahat ba ng stories nya, gina reactan mo, kasi pala react ka sa stories. Dun mo nga ako una nakausap diba? Thats your conversation starter, and that fucking kills me. Yung thoughts na yun never ako pinatahimik. KAYA GSTO KO LANG NAMAN MAWALA SYA SA ACCT MO KSI HINDI KO NA ALAM ANO NA GINAGAWA MO. Hindi ko na alam ano na ginagawa nyo privately.

Kasi you have intentions. You had intentions when you kept liking her photos. Kasi MAY PINAGDAANAN na tayo na issue sakanya, but you still secretly kept liking her pictures. Up until your birthday, sya nasa isip mo while ako i was doing my best effort to make you feel happy. To surprise you. Lahat. Kaya pala when i asked you to come to mabini to get my bigger surprise, parang “ugh” ka pa na ano ba to. bat kelangan pa mag pnta pnta. Then until new year of 2021, kung d ko pa nahuli nung jan 7, nakalike ka pa and updated ka masyado sknya.

So hindi mo mwala sakin yun magisip ako ng , ah baka sa instagram stories ito naga landian itong dalawa. Thats why i dont have my peace of mind. Thats why i want you to remove her. Pero hndi mo magawa, hindi mo kaya.

You never adjusted even for a bit. Para sakin. 

Para sa tao na dapat sana mas iniisip mo kung mahal mo tlaga.

Sobra kong selos kasi bakit ako, yung kinulang na sa oras sa buhay mo, yung pinipilit mag habol ng oras na nawala, bakit ako yung wala sa social media mo? Bakit ako hindi mo malagay jan, na yan lang yung isang way na makabawi tayo sa lost times natin. Bakit sila, mas nakikita mo yung everyday ig stories nila, yung personal life nila, mas ginapili mo na yun makita kesa updated ka sa simple things in my life na sana nakikita mo, nahahabol mo. Ung mga interests ko na sana alam mo. Yung mga interests mo na sana alam ko, na sana nadidiscover ko pa ngyon na nagahabol ako ng nawala na panahon? Na bawat ig story mo nakikita ko na “uy mahilig talaga si lawrence/mara ng ganto.” Or whatever. Pero wala e. Ung simple joys ko na ganun, you stripped that away from me Because you CHOSE to keep them instead. You chose them and still choose them to this day over me.

Di ko talaga alam bakit? Kasi

You blame me?

Blame me for fucking what?! Tangina. Lagi mo reason “o, ngayon alam mo na feeling ng di pinapakinggan?” Putang ina naman you pnly felt that for 2-3 days na nag matigas ako to not block an ex. Compare mo sa 2-3 months na nagmamatigas ka hindi ako pagbigyan. Fuck. That. Hurts.

And yung blame na yan, kung hindi mo yan maalis sa isip mo, even if i said sorry, even if pinagsisihan ko na, even if i did everything to change that, wala pa rin, then i think that’s also a reason na istop nalang din ito. Kasi yun yung gusto mo na justification sa actions mo, that one single thing na hindi ko naman pinalala, pero yun pa rin yung ginagamimt mo na dahilan to justify your actions, then  i really think it’s time to stop na rin. Oo na, kasalanan ko nalang.

Love the very same reason bakit ayaw mo nagafollow sakin sila, o finafollow ko sila, THATS THE VERY SAME REASON BAKIT AKO NAGA PA BLOCK DIN SAYO. Kung ano yung pakiramdam mo ganun din yung akin. Pero bakit never mo kaya gawin for me yun? Yun yung hndi ko magets. Kung snasabi mo “wala dn man ako gnagawa” WELL GUESS WHAT? WALA DN AKO GINAGAWA, yet i blocked them para wala ka na maisip, THATS ME GIVING YOU YOUR PEACE OF MIND . Para matahimik isip mo and ma feel confident ka about me. E ikw nga MAY GINAGAWA NA.

Di ko talaga alam. Sabi nila it comes with age. Meron mga lalake na maaga nasstop yang stage na ganyan, meron din never na talaga. I dont care if you admire those tiktok type girls, lahat ng mga “wow” for guys. Pero pede nyo naman iappreciate yun without engaging anything with them. Pde mo naman daanan lng without clicking the heart button, or without reacting.

Pero un sa ex mo, tapos hindi pa malabong magkita kayo. Naku, no no na yun. Hindi ako magiging katulad ng asawa natin na nalulusutan natin.

But anyway,

that’s it. Surrender na ako. Masyado na talagang mababa yung tingin ko na worth ko sayo. Masyado na din mababa tingin ko sa sarili ko na naga makaawa ako sa SIMPLENG bagay na hindi mabigay sakin ng tao na nagasabi na mahal ako.

have your freedom, hindi naman kita prisoner. Baka isipin mo sobra pa ako sa asawa mo. Si R nga d naga ganto ganyan, si mara oa, HINDI NAMAN ASAWA. Well maybe because maybe i know you more? I know what youre capable of. You cheat pn ur wife with me, and she doesnt know that. So alam ko na, sya asawa mo kaya mo lokohin, ako pa kaya na kabit mo LANG. If youre gonna b with me, just stay loyal, and be honest. That's all i ask.

Yun lang.

I give up.

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Dont worry it’s not you who’s giving up. It’s me. I’ve given up. I’ve given up on hope and love na pjnipilit ko na meron tayo.

Kasi ang dami pa natin pagdadaanan, pero kung ganitong bagay lang hindi mo kaya macompromise for me, then might as well stop this. Pano nlng sa next challenges ? Iwan nlng ako sa ere kasi wala akong support system. So ayoko na dumating sa point na kawawa na ako masyado love. hehe

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Sometimes it takes an experience na masasaktan ka, or may mawawala sayo, for you to realize the value of something. “You never know what you got til it’s gone” kasi you take it for granted.

If youre gonna be with me, be with me all in. Make me feel secured. Give me that trust, kasi yun yung building block ng lahat ng relationships. I told you my deal. D na ako babalik sayo unless you remove that person in your life (na obvious na d mo magawa) Actually, simula ngyon ayaw ko na rin mag-asa. Kasi the more na tumatagal, mas sobrang sakit on my part. Kasi “bakit hindi maaksyonan agad?” Bakit kelangan pa patagalin.

The more you take time, the more it hurts. The more theyre in your life, tapos ako wala? The more it hurts. The more you keep them, the more you dont value my worth.

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I dont want to leave by giving each other wounds. Ayoko na dn matapos ito na puro away nalang. Thats why im giving up. Para wala na ako gnaisip na akin ka, na love mo ako kc i end up getting hurt.

PS: If youre gonna change, dont change for me. Change for yourself. I do believe people change. Yun yung kelangan ko linawin. If you are changing for me, then chances are baka bumalik ka lang sa dati mong ugali, or dati mong ginagawa, because ayaw mong magbago for yourself. If youre gonna change, that has to be for u. Kelangan nasayo yung “narealize ko how much i value my relationship, ayaw ko masira ulit to. Im not gonna give anyone a chance to ruin my relationship.” Because you know the value of this once in a lifetime love story. But if youre changing because naku, “baka magalit si Mara.” Then iba din yun. iba yung reason why youre changing. You might just go back to the way you were. I do believe that ppl can change. Yun lang minsan ang sad dun, it takes a painful experience, para matuto tayo ng leksyon.

Also, i just wanna ask you to not feel AWA towards me. Kasi hindi tama na anjan ka nlang kasi makaawa na ako. Leave that “awa” to me. Kasi ako honestly? Awang awa na ako sa sarili ko for stooping so low sa mga ginagawa ko. Awang awa na ako na i go through hell just to save and value this relationship.

Awang awa na ako na ang dami kong niririsk and pinagdadaanan only to come “home” to a relationship that cant show me my worth.

Parang hindi na tama yung pinagdadaanan ko , tapos ako yung simpleng bagay na hinihingi ko, d mabigay sakin. Unfair na yun. D na ko willing mapagod for nothing.

Pack up na ako, love. Youre only showing me na you dont wanna make it work anymore, and ako nlang yung lumalaban. And I dont think thats fair. but thats ok.

Im sorry, im gone from now on. I give up.

As for your obligations and responsibilities, this current problem/issue im dealing with — my pregnancy. Dont worry anymore na. Ayoko rin n nagastay ka lang kasi naawa ka sakin, or kasi you feel bad na naka take part ka sa pinagdadaanan ko ngayon. Wag ganun. 

Wag mo nalang din ifeel na obligtion mo to. It’s not. Thankful ako anjan ka when i found out and helped me how to deal with it. So wala kna to feel guilty about. Know that im thankful. Sabi mo nga love diba 🥲 Strong girl ako, matapang ako.🥲 I just no longer want you involved in this. I’ll be on my own from now on.

Im not asking u to call na pala, kasi baka isipin mo ang toxic ko na kausap na umiiyak. Hehe

Goodbye. Sorry this has to come to this. Thank you sa lahat. Mahal na mahal kita, always. 😢

Mar 01, 2021/ 05:37am

#LA88 #fuzzylumpkins