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girlzlovinggirlzlovingme · 2 months

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Infatuation.

An anxious girl shows her love through taking what's hers

CW: kidnapping and cnc

"Oh my goodness, you're up! Please, please, please don't freak out! I promise this isn't as bad as it seems."

You've been asleep for. . . for. . . wait, how long has it been? You try and move your hands to rub the sleep out of your eye, but your arms just won't move. You move your head up, and despite your eyes still adjusting, you see and piece together that you're chained up.

You try harder, more forceful this time, still nothing. The only difference between that effort and the one before is now you can at least feel the metal getting warmer due to your thrashing. Desperate times here, okay, last resort. You start putting your full strength into it, flailing your body in an attempt to get any loose binding to snap so you can get out of whatever you found yourself in.

"No no no no! Please stop! Please. . ." Your eyes dart around to locate the voice that keeps calling to you. In the time of looking around rapidly, you take note of the fact you're laying in a bed. Not your bed, mind you, but a bed nevertheless.

Is this scary? Yeah, but there's hope here. Wherever you are, people will come find you. Even if it's just people who notice you aren't there at work or school, someone's gonna come find you. Just relax and stay strong. You take a deep breath, close your eyes, and let the air flow into your lungs, your mind clearing from the initial panic.

You reopen your eyes and see a small girl staring at you from the foot of the bed. You were so worked up when scanning the room a second ago that you can't remember if she was always there or not. For your sake, let's just assume she was.

"Okay! That's a lot better! I'm really glad you've calmed down now. I know this is all a little bit much, but I promise I'm not gonna hurt you." What she says contradicts everything else currently happening, but she talks with such a soft inflection that maybe she does really mean it. "I work at the coffee shop near campus, the one you usually walk past to get to your dorm." You've been to that place a total of one time. You went there with a friend after staying up all night to cram for a project and needing some caffeine to make it through the rest of tbe day; it tasted like absolute garbage, and you never went back. "You came in only once a few months ago. Looking at you made my heart flutter and knees weak. The second you left, I knew I needed to see you every day for the rest of my life. I've been watching you since that day, staring at you while you walk past the shop, taking time off to watch you during your classes. I even made friends with your dorm neighbor, so they can invite me over. Whenever they step away, I press my ear to the wall and try listening to you. Sometimes, I swear that I can hear your heartbeat, and I know it's beating just for me."

If there was any time for help to arrive, it'd be anywhere between when you got here and right fucking now. All the effort you tried to put into calming yourself down isn't doing shit when you feel like any second you're gonna die. Oh my goddess, you're gonna die, aren't you? This is it. You start hyperventilating, feeling cold air rapidly move in and out of your lungs. It's so hard to breathe, but maybe you'll suffocate before anything worse happens to you.

"Oh no. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Please don't freak out anymore. I'm sorry for saying all that stuff, I know it was a bit much. I'm only doing this because I love you, though! I swear I won't hurt you, so please calm down." She starts moving towards you, slowly. As if she was approaching a feral cat, trying not to make sudden movements so it doesn't get scared.

You feel tears start to well up, but you can't show that fear. You need to stay strong. You swallow your emotions, fight back the tears, and try not to sound scared. "If you so much as touch me, then the second I'm out of these chains, I'll make you pay for all of this."

She stops moving closer. "O-oh." She just sits there on the bed. Her lack of an actual response is unnerving, but you can't help but feel kind of bad.

Is. . . Is she crying?

"I'm sorry for all of this. I just love you so much. I needed to find a way to show it to you. You looked so incredible. . . I just needed to find a way to show my love in a way where you wouldn't reject me." This somehow feels worse than the actual kidnapping part. You're just staring, but it's not like you can look away. No, seriously, you're incapable of moving, so you just have to stare at this.

"If you just let me go, I promise we can put this behind us. I'm sure you're a nice girl, I won't even tell this to anyone. Just, please. Please let me go."

She sniffles and wipes the tears away. "I can't do that. You have to know I can't. You might be lying, and I can't risk that. You might just slip away after all I've been doing to keep you here." She starts moving closer again, this time faster. She no longer cares if you don't like it or not. She worked so hard to get you, and now she's going to keep you.

She moves her hand under your shirt and grabs onto your chest. It's so cold that it almost hurts.

"I'm sorry. Just please let me do this."

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chiveburger · 3 months

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this last week leading up the chinese new years has been such a crazy whirlwind of emotions... I made a post maybe on tuesday? saying that I was starting to feel very burnt out at work and I went into that day dreading every second. I got to work and I started crying, and mind you I've been in some abusive workplaces and I have never once cried at work. anytime someone asked me if I was okay, I couldn't control my emotions and I started sobbing. It was so hard, and I came to the conclusion that I'm really struggling to work with my manager. especially in regards to her micromanaging, and inserting herself into tasks that the staff are doing, and creating this suffocating energy whenever I work with her.

I've never once felt that out of control so come wednesday I told her I had to speak with her one to one. I sat down with her, and basically cleared the air about how her management style is killing me. how it's making me doubtful of my own work, and how there are things I want to be changed not even just about her but about how our company is ran... I know this seems real self destructive to some people but holy shit I am so glad 1) I had the guts to put myself in this vulnerable position and 2) was able to hold it together during the entire conversation. my intention going into that meeting wasn't to hurt her feelings, it wasn't to break her spirit and I am not and cannot expect her to change her personality and work ethics overnight. I don't want her to stop working here because of this, but I know if I want to continue working here (and for the meantime I do) I can't sweep this under the carpet and suffer and bottle everything up until I experience another panic attack in public.

ever since that talk, which was only a couple days ago, the following days where we have to work together has been yes, a little awkward, but I can feel her putting in the effort not to overstep my boundaries. she doesn't interrupt me, she doesn't have input on how I interact with patients and with regular office duties. which I really appreciate and shows me that this is a sign of them giving a shit about my feelings. everyone I talked to regarding this situation has been like "wow I could never have done that" and the fact of the matter is it's not just me. I'm not someone who likes being confrontational, and I'm not someone who always wishes to speak on my feelings. If I didn't care about my job, about my manager, and if I didn't feel like change could occur I wouldn't even consider talking to her. If I didn't feel comfortable to open up to her I wouldn't have. on my part it did take a lot of courage to do that but similarly, if the other side didn't reciprocate some form of energy that made me WANT to do it I would've just handed in my resignation.

long story short, I felt negative emotions so strong that I couldn't swallow them up any longer and they physically came out even before I realized I was in pain. I don't expect everything at work to be perfect or to have changed to my liking by tomorrow. what I am hoping is that there's a step in the direction of change and I'd like to think by acting on my feelings I've made my life better.

#borger diary

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purinfelix · 5 months

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from the start ⋆𖦹⋆｡˚⋆ฺ || pt. 2

pairing: oscar piastri x childhood friend! reader summary: when you show up to your first day of work experience at McLaren, you're greeted by a friendly face and a whirlwind of old emotions warnings: angst!! but not much else w/c: 2.6k

a/n: its finally here, after almost a whole month !! sorry it took me so long (i have no excuse i'm just lazy and was kind of intimidated on how to start on a pt2 for this) but thank you for all the love on pt1 !!! i hope this part lives up to it <33

you can read pt 1 here !!

Oscar Piastri has never failed to be a pain in your ass.

Ever since the day you two met, by being put in the same class in year 3, he’s bugged you. Through no fault of his own though, he had never been anything but polite and kind and all other things most boys his age weren’t.

But maybe it was just that that had bugged you so much about him - the fact that, unlike every other boy you knew, there was nothing to hate about Oscar. Nothing but the sickly sweet feeling you felt brewing in your stomach whenever you walked into class to notice you had been assigned a seat next to him. Whenever his arm brushed up against yours, whenever he let you borrow his hat when you forgot yours without any protest. Because he shouldn’t have been so nice to you, he should’ve been teasing you and yanking your hair and the fact that he wasn’t was extremely confusing to your young brain - the very brain that had understood long division faster than anyone in your class.

Yet, it seemed like Oscar was one problem you could never quite figure out. Of course, by nature, the two of you couldn’t have been more different. He tended to keep to himself whereas you were on the outgoing side. He preferred books and writing whereas maths and science had been your strong suit He spent almost every afternoon training for his racing, whereas your coordination was poor at best and a danger to those around you at worst. The two of you even swam in entirely different social circles.

This was why, when being just ‘classmates’ eventually blossomed into something more closely resembling a friendship, your confusion only grew. Because you still could never quite understand him - or perhaps it was more accurate to say you never understood the way he made you feel.

Most of the time you spent together was outside of class, afternoons and weekends, made easier by the fact you two lived fairly close, meaning walking home after school together didn’t seem unusual. It was on these after-school walls in particular, that you finally got a glimpse into the riddle that was Oscar.

Over weeks, months, years, you watched him unfold in front of you as conversations about his favourite TV shows, his racing and his future became routine, accompanied by the soft buzzing of mosquitoes on sunny days. You spoke too of course, about things you were interested in, but his passion always seemed to outshine yours.

These conversations were so mundane that you almost didn’t realise how your feelings had changed until they were staring you right in the face. You remember it so distinctly though, the afternoon when you finally realised you were in love with him. The realisation had come crashing down on you, suffocating you, the moment he flashed you a smile, this one in particular sending you through a flurry of emotions. You remembered how you had rushed home and splashed your face with water in the kitchen sink, while panting heavily. How you had mumbled it to yourself - “I like Oscar.” - a thousand times just to be sure it was true. But also how you had vowed to never tell anyone, especially not him.

In your mind though, you’re still there on those sticky hot afternoons. When you would watch him, cheeks flushed and hands moving in a flurry as he explained the inner workings of his kart to you, too engrossed to notice the sparkle in your own eyes or the fact that your heart rate had quickened to a concerning pace. To notice you slowly understanding why so many girls in your class had crushes on him. You would’ve watched him talk forever, if you could.

In your mind, the two of you are still friends and you’re still able to have your silly little crush on him without feeling an entire world of guilt on your shoulders. In your mind you’re not sitting across from him at an employee meeting, trying your best to avoid eye contact with him and focus, instead, on what one of your superior engineers is talking about.

But of course, given your luck, you’re not in your mind - as the universe seems to keep reminding you so cruelly - as your attempt to avoid eye contact with him fails. It’s not your fault though, he’s the one who keeps glancing over at you, which you’ve been trying your best to pretend you hadn’t noticed. But you can’t help that his eyes are so round, and the morning light is hitting them at just the right angle causing a slight sparkle that’s almost impossible not to be enamoured by. And so you don’t even notice when you lock eyes with him.

But your superior does.

“And so that’s why I think we should switch to this new strategy, wh- Oscar, will you please stop making goo-goo eyes at the newbie, thank you.”

Cue Oscar breaking into that irritatingly charming smile, the entire meeting room erupting into stifled laughter and that hot red feeling in your cheeks that you’ve now become used to. You bite your lip hard, looking down to hide your embarrassment but also the ridiculously goofy smile spreading across your face - maybe because you don’t want to come across as unprofessional when you’ve been working here for only a month now, or maybe because you don’t want Oscar to know he’s getting to you.

Because he is, as much as you want to pretend he isn’t. It only makes it worse that he seems to have developed an awareness of it over the past couple of weeks you two have shared as co-workers. He’s yet to pass by you without flashing a cheeky smile, one hinting at more than just politeness, or asking for your opinion specifically whenever he’s getting briefed on the upcoming car model. It doesn’t help that he has your number now, and can contact you even outside of work hours, which you’re sure is violating some company policy though you haven’t been bothered to check which.

And then there’s the car rides home. Which, you know, you should stop accepting by now and just grow up and catch the train. But there’s something about it - spending quiet afternoons with him in the privacy of his car, exhausted from an entire day of pretending to not know each other as well as you actually do - that you find an odd sense of comfort in. One that fills you with guilt no doubt, but if guilt is the price for getting to relive your childhood afternoons with him, you’ll pay it happily.

It seems he doesn’t mind either. At first, you were worried it might come across as you taking advantage of him, your place wasn’t on the way to his and if anything it was more of an inconvenience to him, worries you had voiced repeatedly. Yet, he made it clear it didn’t bother him as the two of you soon fell into an all-too-familiar routine. One that involved quiet afternoons and lighthearted conversations.

But even so, there seemed to be times when he would choose to break this routine. And it almost always felt like he was doing so to get a rise out of you. Which was what he seemed to be doing when, on this particular afternoon, he had broken the comfortable silence you had grown to find respite in.

“So, why did you stop talking to me after I left?”

To say his question catches you off guard is an understatement. You feel your body tense up and an almost instinctual desire to make light of this situation causes you to let out a scoff which you hope he understands less as ‘Why are you asking me this?’ and more as ‘Why are you asking me this now?’

But he doesn’t seem to take it as either, turning his head from the road for a split second to gauge your expression - which is equal parts bewildered and flustered - and make it clear he’s expecting an actual answer.

“Are you serious?” is all you can muster up, your tone alone conveying your desire to talk about anything other than this. You think though, about how it’s been almost a month since you two became coworkers, so maybe it is time to dig out the dirty laundry and air it out. Even if that means pushing through what you’re expecting to be an insanely awkward conversation, with nowhere to escape to as you speed down the highway and the walls of Oscar’s car start to feel more suffocating than you’ve ever noticed.

“Yeah,” he laughs, almost as if he can’t believe you, “I mean, sorry, I probably should’ve prefaced it with something but I’ve always been a little straightforward like that.” “Trust me, I know,” you sigh, images of girls running past you on the verge of tears after he turned down their childish love letters or saw through their facades flashing through your head.

“I’ve just,” he starts, pauses, then rethinks, “I haven’t stopped wondering why. I mean, we were such great friends, at least I think we were, but then one day it all just stopped?”

You feel your defensiveness lessen a little at hearing how worked up he’s getting over it. He’s tumbling over his words, something you’ve rarely seen him do, especially while driving. Even so, you can tell he’s trying his best to keep his tone lighthearted, by finishing off his ramble with an exasperated laugh, so dry it almost sounds painful.

But that doesn’t make you want to open up to him anymore. Honestly, you can’t believe him when he says he hasn’t stopped wondering because surely after all this time he would’ve realised. Realised why, on that cold night on which you two stayed late at the race track, later than your mother would’ve ever let you stay out, why you had said the things you’d said. Why you’d looked him in the eyes, your own blurred with tears, after he broke the news to you that he’d be leaving for Europe in less than a week. Why you’d stormed off alone, even though the rain was the heaviest it would be all year and you didn’t have an umbrella. Why the nickname 'Pip', which had always caused a buzzing feeling in your heart, instead stung as he called after you over the sound of the rain.

“You really never understood, huh.” you finally say, coming off a little more cynical than you’d intended but not so cynical that it betrays your emotions. Because above all you just feel stupid. Stupid for thinking he understood it that night, and even stupider for the fact he’s continued to think about it all this time, and still doesn’t understand. You let out another weak laugh and notice his brows furrow in confusion in the car mirror.

“Oh come on, don’t pull that ‘nobody understands me’ card now. I’m literally asking you to explain it to me,” he sounds almost desperate and you almost feel bad. Your mind is backflipping between just blurting everything out to him then and there, or throwing yourself out the car window. Considering that you need all your bones intact in order to complete your work experience term, you choose against the second one.

“Do you remember, when that little blonde girl in our class finally worked up the courage to tell you she had a crush on you?”

He thinks for a moment. “Yeah, Anna right?” You don’t know whether you find it adorable or even more painful that he remembers her name.

“Yeah, her. And how after you rejected her, she was inconsolable for the rest of the day?”

Silence, he doesn’t seem to have remembered that part.

“Well, I was one of the first people she spoke to after and do you want to know what she told me?”

He’s still silent, but you take this as a signal to continue.

“She told me that I was lucky I was just your friend because it was the only way I would ever get to stick around you.”

As soon as you say this, you feel a weight lift off of your shoulders, and you let out a small, sort of surprised exhale, at how relieving it feels. That is until you turn to see Oscar’s expression, still extremely confused and now a little shocked. But you aren’t done.

“And I guess her saying that only solidified what I had known for so long, that I could never tell you the truth.” He looks up, eyes looking so endearingly lost that it almost hurts you to say what you’ve been dying to say, not just since this conversation or even your work experience started, but for almost a decade. “I loved you, Oscar.”

He gets it now. His brows unfurl themselves from the tangle he’s shoved them into as things slowly start to make sense to him. Why you had pulled back so quickly whenever he would move closer, why your face always felt hot to his touch, why he had caught you staring at him with a dazed look more times than he could count.

“Then why,” the leather of the steering wheel squeaks under his grip, “Why didn’t you-”

“Tell you?”

“Keep in touch?” He sounds so hurt, you feel your heart leap forward in your chest. You start to consider, for the first time since the night you left him, the possibility that maybe your decision not to contact him had more than just a negative effect on yourself.

“Because, Oscar,” you say his name and it sounds almost like a plea for him to just listen to you, “because I knew what Anna said was right. That if I had told you, or if we had kept in touch long enough until I would’ve felt the need to tell you, I would’ve lost you.”

Silence fills the air. He’s turned his attention back to the road, just as he begins to turn into your street. You continue.

“Because I kept that secret for so long, and as much it hurt me, I ended up still losing you.” You swallow hard as you hear your voice start to waver. The car comes to a stop, he’s finally reached your house after what seems like an eternity.

“I’m sorry …” he begins, but you aren’t really in the mood to hear his apologies, not when they’re a decade too late.

“Don’t bother, it’s alright.” You bring a hand up to wipe your tears but before you can you feel his hands instead. His thumb swipes along your cheek to dry them, the soft look in his eyes and the way he’s leaning in making you feel suddenly far too vulnerable for your own liking.

“I, uhm,” you jerk backwards awkwardly, “I should go, thanks for the ride, I’ll see you tomorrow, yeah?”

Before you can hear his answer you’re already stepping out of his car, not having the strength to look back. Because you know no matter what expression he has painted across his face, it’s not going to let you take back any of what you’ve just revealed to him, or fix the sudden wave of emotions you’re struggling to deal with as you hear him drive away.

taglist (thank yall sm ilu?!?! <3333) - @kyuupidwrites @yourlocaldilemma @formula1mount @barcelonaloverf1life @taina-eny @twinkodium

#oscar piastri angst #oscar piastri #op81 #oscar piastri x reader #oscar piastri x you #oscar piastri oneshot #oscar piastri imagine #oscar piastri fanfic #oscar piastri fic #mclaren #formula 1 #fanfic #formula 1 fanfic #jet writes ★#purinfelix

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krystlestasik · 9 months

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Memories and Lack of Sleep...

In every healing journey you think back to the beginning...while I would like to thank Vice City for my current state of brokenness...it wasn't all him, I've had a small succession of people I thought would never let me down. I'm not sure if that says more about me as a person, the people I'm inevitably attracted to, or some combination of multiple factors...

College Boy and I had chemistry that was intense and consuming...he matched my insatiability and adventure. He was outgoing and the prince to my party princess era. However, no matter how open I was...it was never enough...and he always tried to break/bend rules. Catching him in lies was a normal thing...

Then we had Magic Musician...we connected on such an easy and fun level...the sex wasn't great but gosh we could just hang out and talk for hours... everywhere we would go and anything we would do...it was just easy and we had so much fun. But he put to much value into what other people thought and I just didn't mesh with everyone in his life. We made better friends then a couple and the number of times he cheated was probably even more then I knew. We still talk every once in a while, I'm glad he made some changes...

Then there was my Dark Knight...he was everything MM and CB wasn't but yet had bits of the good from both of them. We moved so fast...two months after we were dating, we moved in together and for a long time everything was perfect. I thought I was gonna be with him forever and had his Dad not died, maybe we would have....but when that happened.... everything changed. He stopped being loving and caring and he was just so angry at the world and he took it out on me. I didn't know how to help...and by the time I realized what he needed, I was so done with the relationship that I stopped trying. I stopped wanting the relationship. I stayed because I didn't know what else to do after being with him for so long...him cheating was actually a convenient out. Don't get me wrong, that shit hurt....so much...but it was more about the fact that promises were broken and more then one person lied straight to my face.

Then we have Stoner Loner...he was great after not dating for five years...but he was co-dependent and had no ambition and suffocated me.

Divorced Dad was next...it was trying to make a round peg fit into a square hole. We weren't actually compatible but I needed feel loved and he did that....until he didn't whenever I would push against control.

Which brings us to Vice City...the boy who broke me...the boy I've spent 9 months trying to heal from...He lied and did terrible things, I lied and did terrible things. At the time, I had some pretty solid excuses...but the more I think about it, I don't know what effected my decisions more... I don't know if I still would have done things somewhat similar even if I didn't have the excuses. Fear and love, they are some of the most incredibly strong emotions...and I had a fuckton of both. The terrible things I did with some solid instigation from Bad Big only further my well of healing because I'm not even sure if that would have played a part in things being different. See...Vice City got into a love triangle between me and another girl...the man who didn't want to date started dating two people. And while he told me he loved me and cared about me and wanted to focus on us and how we would always be in each other's lives...I didn't know that he was likely feeding Voldemort the same lines. He lied about when they met, he lied again about his feelings for her, he lied after he got caught lying about when they met, he abandoned me at my lowest. Yeah, I lied too...and there were opportunities where I should have been honest...but I was loyal... however, no one cares about loyalty anymore...and people's word is shit. I just find it ironic how he decided to abandon me for my lies yet if we were to go lie for lie... I'd think he'd still have the bigger black mark. I didn't lie to manipulate him into not walking away...I didn't lie about my feelings... I didn't lie to go on a trip because it was gonna be fun. I lied about the identity of Bad Big...just a number on a phone...so it wasn't Night Nurse like he thought..but it was someone who could put my feelings into words to try to get him to understand how much pain he was putting me thru and it was my cry for help. My pain, my fear, my blind love for this boy...it cost me pieces of my self...it cost me so much...The bigger fucked up part of everything is... I still miss him... I don't miss the relationship...I miss the friendship I thought we had... I miss the person I thought he was.

And that's the part that I get stuck on while trying to move forward...."the person I thought he was" it has me questioning myself in everything... I no longer have faith in myself... If he could fool me so so so completely...what does that say about me? Yeah Big Bad sorta fooled him about who he actually was too...but I had believed this person cared about me, I believed him when he said he loved/cared about me, I believed him when he said he wouldn't abandon me, I believed him when he said he was my friend. I believed everything he told me, unequivocally....and I would have done anything for him. I did do everything for him. I sacrificed who I was as a person so he could be the Sun and the Moon, so he could be happy, so I could keep everything the same and keep him.

I don't trust anymore, I don't open my heart anymore, I don't try to date anymore. I've been celibate for nine months and....I just don't have another heartbreak in me. While I have went on dates and I even almost got into a relationship with Rugby Introvert...I just... couldn't put me or them thru the hurt.

It's been almost ten months and I have not stopped working on myself...I've become focused to possibly an unhealthy level of growth and learning. I'm at the lowest weight I've been since around the time Dark Knight and I dated...so like the lowest weight I've been in a decade. I am so close to accomplishing a goal I set into place less the a year ago. I have a new career where I no longer stress and worry and deal with bullshit. I have learned the importance of boundaries and I have been uncompromising with them... family or not. I have learned that the only safe person to overshare with is myself...and hence why I journal and blog. I have learned that happiness can only come from myself. I have learned that it's okay to be by myself...and I can adventure solo. I also learned you can miss people and want to reconnect but life still needs to be lived...and there is no reason you should waste time not living for someone who doesn't give fuck about if you live or die.

So...I'm okay living in my "villain era" being solo and being the most awesome version of me. I have watered down myself for so many people for so long. I have put so many other people first...I've compromised my integrity and beliefs and my heart for people that don't deserve it.

As I've told basically everyone in my life now...I will always be there if you want me or need me...but understand that if you can't respect my boundaries or if you don't make effort...that's all I'll be... someone who you can rely on to be there if you call, someone who will occasionally send some memes, someone who will care about you from afar, but I'm not willing to sacrifice my peace, well-being, or heart for those who haven't earned it.

#healing #heartbreak #boundaries #journey #self love #self reflection #relationship #single life

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animatedarchives · 3 years

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hi Soph! can I request for demon slayer? about comforting boyfriend, Kyojuro. the reader has a few hardship and really have a her mood down and Kyojuro comforting her and shower her with love. so she found hee strength again in her boyfriend. thank you very much!!! I'm looking forward to it 😍😍

author’s note: HIIIII NIKKIIII 😙 i’ve been in my rengoku feels since watching mugen train so i hope you like this little rengoku comfort fic 😌 MUCH LOVE BABY thanks for requesting 🥰❤️

WARMTH

— 𝐑𝐄𝐍𝐆𝐎𝐊𝐔 𝐊𝐘𝐎𝐉𝐔𝐑𝐎

genre: comfort fluff, a little angst at the start

warning: not much, just crying from stress :(

word count: 1k words

Your sobs echoed throughout the empty room, filling the air as your resolve finally came crumbling down.

I can’t do it. I can’t do it. It’s all too much. I can’t do it.

The pressures of the world were bearing down on you, pushing you deeper into the ground until it felt like you were suffocating under all the stress. It only made you want to cry even more.

Suddenly, you heard footsteps outside your room and you immediately froze. Crap, did they hear you? You quickly wiped your eyes on your sleeve, wincing at the sharp sting that came when you rubbed them.

“Honey, I’m home!”

Shit.

You sucked in a breath, willing the soreness from your eyes to go away as his footsteps got closer to your bedroom. You tried to erase all signs of your sadness — fixing your hair, rolling back your shoulders — because you didn’t want him to worry about you. You didn’t want to be anymore trouble than you already were. You didn’t want to be another burden.

The door creaked open and you put on a plastic smile.

“Welcome back, Kyojuro!” you greeted in fake cheerfulness, hoping he wouldn’t pick up on the slight hoarseness of your voice.

“Hello darling. I’m sorry I took so long,” he apologised while setting down some plastic bags on the table, the contents in them almost spilling out when he let go.

“I thought I’d drop by the mart to get us some food before—” he paused as he finally turned to look at you. “Hey… were you crying?”

Rengoku’s eyebrows knitted together in concern, and worry was etched into every crevice of his face. You should’ve known he would have been able to tell.

You didn’t know what to say, your mind still foggy from all the tears you’d shed earlier. You were tired and exhausted, so you just stood there, speechless as Rengoku slowly approached you.

Before you could register what was happening, a pair of strong arms wrapped around you and engulfed you in a hug. It wasn’t too tight in that it made you feel suffocated, but it wasn’t too loose in that it felt like he didn’t care. It was... just right.

At first, your body was stiff against his chest, not knowing what you should do or how to react. You were so numb from crying so much. You didn’t want to think. You couldn’t. So all you could do was listen to the steady beating of his heart.

But Rengoku never let you go. He continued to embrace you, to shower you in his affection. Because he knew that love didn’t always come in the form of words. They could be shown through the simplest of actions too.

And when you finally realised the message of care he was trying to convey, a tear slipped from your eye and left a warm trail down your cheek.

You melted into his embrace, wrapping your arms around him and hugging him back as you cried into his shirt. He rubbed your back soothingly, calming you down as you let out all your emotions — real, raw and bare.

Rengoku never rushed you into speaking. He waited patiently for you to come down from your high, giving you all the time you needed as you underwent catharsis. Your crying slowly turned into sobs, which eventually turned into sniffles, until finally, there was a comfortable silence.

“Do you want to talk about it?” he asked, tenderly bringing a hand to your face to wipe away the last of your tears. You told him everything that was weighing on your heart, seeing no need to hold back anymore. You told him how tired and helpless you felt, and how life seemed to be getting too hard, pushing you around relentlessly every day.

“It’s just... it’s all too much Kyojuro,” you sighed, starting to get choked up with emotion. “I can’t take it. I can’t do it. It’s... it’s all too much.”

Your vision began to blur again, and Rengoku took the opportunity to gently wrap your hand in his large, strong ones.

“Look at me, Y/N,” he said softly, and you slowly raised your glassy eyes to meet his.

“You know I’ll always be here for you, right?”

You weren’t sure whether it was the fire in his bright orbs that burned only for you, or just the blatant reassurance that you could always lean on him whenever you were in trouble. Whatever it was, his declaration alone was enough to stir up the emotions in your heart, and make your chest swell once again.

You nodded meekly, trying to force down the lump in your throat.

“You don’t have to face things alone, my dear. I’ll be right by your side and we can figure this out, okay?” he smiled, bringing his hand up to carress your tear-stained cheek. “Together.”

You never knew one word could hold so much power, but you felt your heart clench. It was like you were in the presence of the sun. Your problems began to burn up in the blazing light, and you were finally able to see the horizon of infinite possibility. And under his unwavering gaze, you found the revelation you needed.

Life may be challenging alone, but with the strength of those around you, victory was surely within your reach.

With newfound hope in the promise of partnership, the sides of your mouth began to curl upwards and you nodded at him in agreement.

“Together.”

Rengoku grinned with pride, watching as a genuine smile settled on your lips and you wiped your eyes for the final time that day.

“Come here,” he said, opening his arms wide enough for you to crawl into them. You sat in his lap and wrapped your legs around his waist, resting your head on his chest as he held you close to his body.

His comforting scent surrounded you, as did the warmth that exuded from his affection. You inhaled deeply, breathing him in before exhaling all the tension within you. With the assurance of his steadfast love, you were finally able to let go of all your stress.

“I’ll carry you whenever you’re weak, Y/N,” he vowed, without a single hint of doubt in his voice. You smiled and nodded into his chest as he placed a soft, yet firm kiss on the top of your head — a silent seal of sincerity.

“I promise.”

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svtrie · 3 years

Text

@hvnlydmn submitted; hi! i’m back to request a male jjk matchup if that’s ok (since my one piece one was so amazing) i’m 5’5, my pronouns are she/her - i have long dark brown hair w the front half of my right side dyed white, green eyes + tan skin! im pretty thin with a large butt and thighs ~ i’m bubbly, loud, naturally v flirty + my love language is physical touch! i love working out + i’m a huge foodie - i’m stubborn + impulsive, emotional, giggly, energetic, confident + bold. i love teasing and i’m super playful! i’m competitive, sassy and self-assured/straightforward! tysm, no rush ofcourse, take care of urself <3

welcome back!~ glad you enjoyed the one piece one, i hope this one also meets your expectations, once again thank you for requesting, i match you up with . . .

word count; 955

Gojou Satoru !

You met Gojo when he was still a teenager, meaning he was still a bit rude and arrogant.

You, being the sassy ass you are; ain't gonna deal with his shit at the moment.

So you did what you gotta do, put him in his place.

Oh god that's when Satoru catches feelings for you, you're bold, attractive, confident, and straightforward.

In short, you practically fits all of Gojo's checklist and as a bonus; you can deal with his cocky ass and put him back on the road (in other words, a reality check).

Once he does sort out his feelings for you though, he just straights up tells you it.

I mean, he's handsome, strong, he's basically perfect in his eyes so you won't reject him, right? What could possibly go wrong?

Oh boy, your answer was not what he expected it to be.

You did reject him. (suck ass gojo!!)

He's shocked.

Scratch that, he's devastated.

No one's has ever rejected him before! How? What did he even lack in? He's perfect! How could yo-

"No."

"What?"

"I said no Gojo-san, if you want me to be your significant other, try harder."

Gojo opens and closes his mouth repeatedly, looking like a dejected fish.

Satisfied by his reaction, you turned your back to him and gave him a lazy wave, walking away.

It's safe to say that Gojo took that as a personal mission; to make you fall for him.

But that only backfired and you weren't the one falling for him, but the opposite.

He was falling for you. Like, head over heels.

After he gets older and gets his reality check though, probably when you're both in your early 20's; you finally accept his feelings.

Finally !! After years of dumb competition to make the other fall in love with eachother was finally done.

Shoko is relieved that she won't hear anymore of Satoru's dumb love songs for you.

Seriously, that boy...he confesses with the most dumb ways you could ever imagine with.

"Wait so, Gojo has been bugging you to give him my phone number everyday?" You ask in disbelief as Shoko finished her rant about satoru.

"Yeah, i swear to God if i hear ONE MORE stupid guitar songs that he made, I'm going to lose i-"

You hear a guitar stringing.

"Oh no." Shoko's face switched to annoyance.

"What?" You raised an eyebrow.

"He's here again."

As if hearing that sentence could spawn the devil, Gojo pops out from nowhere, guitar in hand. Getou besides him, holding a tambourine.

"Satoru I swear to go-"

“Good evening, ladies and ladies” a voice; revealing to be Gojo's voice spoke out.

“On today’s concert of ‘Shoko, please give me heavenly's number’ we are joined by the amazing Getou Suguruuu!” Gojo exclaimed as he puffed out his chest proudly.

Shoko's left eyebrow twitched, you merely watched in amusement.

"This was happening everyday?" You asked, eyes twinkling in amusement.

"Everyday." Answered Shoko, voice hoarse and pained.

"Everyday he's been following me with that godforsaken guitar singing stupid songs..!"

“ The first song of the night is called ‘Shoko, I am running out of ways to ask for Heavenly’s number’ featuring my amazing guitar skills and Getou's tambourine. Here we go, five, six, seven, eight…”

Now back to the present, you both are now an official couple and both are jujutsu teachers.

Satoru LOVES the fact that you don't mind whenever he clings on to you; knowing that your love language was also physical affection.

Megumi has had enough of seeing his sensei cling onto you like a koala for several years.

Not to mention the teasing he gets from the both of you.

Seriously. Please give Megumi some mercy.

Also, let me just say this;

Pretty eyes duo !!

Like seriously, I've never seen two pretty eyes couple.

Gojo insists that you and him are soulmates, his reason?

"I mean come on~~ We're meant to be together! Soulmates even! Everything about you fits perfectly with me, think about it!" Satoru confidently exclaimed.

You raised an eyebrow at him, "Are you sure it's not that you're the one made for me and not the other way around?"

"Hmm...Now that i think about it..."

Satoru holds no shame in admitting that he checks you out whenever you work out, even some butt slapping every here and then.

Don't worry, slap his ass back lol.

"Satoru are you looking at my ass right now?"

"Yeah"

You sighed and playfully rolled your eyes, continuing to work out as your man child boyfriend checks you out.

"Ya know..." Satoru starts.

"Hm?"

"It's not fair you get a big ass! I mean, I want a big ass too come on! Can't we be the big ass duo?"

He does however, feel his pride boost whenever a guy checks you out, knowing that they have no chance with you and you belong to him.

Also, you both probably do food reviews, or in Gojo's case : sweet reviews.

Cue him buying sweets from all around the world and teleporting back to the dorms to do a review/mukbang of said food.

It gets alot of views whenever you upload it online so you just both kept doing it lol.

Whenever Satoru feels annoyed by the elders, he just goes up to you and plops his face in between your thighs.

Like, almost suffocating himself.

"Toru, you're gonna suffocate yourself if you're in that position jesus fucking chri-"

"If i die by suffocating in your thighs then so be it, my life is complete" Your boyfriends voice can be heard, a bit muffled.

You got the strongest shaman wrapped around your finger; it's up to you what you wanna do with said info.

sorry if this isn't good as the one piece one, i'm currently still practicing writing jjk characters in general so i apologize if he's ooc.

once again sorry if he isn't the most compatible, although this is only my opinion on who would balance well with you.

note; not proofread ! sorry for some grammatical errors.

#jjk #jujutsu kaisen #jujutsu kaisen x reader #jjk x reader #jjk headcanons #satoru gojo #satoru gojo x reader #gojo satoru x reader #gojo saturo x reader #gojou satoru x reader #matchups #jujutsu kaisen headcanons #submission

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noctuascion · 4 years

Note

ok ok ok actual cryptage angst prompt: crypto cant sleep one night because anxiety/paranoiaTM and quietly goes to the kitchen to grab a drink. mirage is already there making coffee, looking at his phone swollen red eyes, sniffing a little. crypto tries to slip away just as quietly but mirage looks up at him before he can duck out the door.

Mmm yes do I love me some insomniacs

Far too often does Park find himself trapped within the confines of his own fear-ridden mind, the all too familiar sensation of anxiety tightening in his chest and paranoia refusing to allow fast-paced thoughts to cease their endless stream of "what if." His eyelids weighed heavily, fatigue settling in, but sleep did not come. Shadows had shifted just a tad, but it was enough for him to lose any desire to sleep.

With his inability to sleep established, Park released a tired sigh, a half-synthetic hand rubbing at exhausted eyes, before he promptly shoved the covers off. They did little more than provide comforting weight and assist in retaining what little warmth he grasped onto. Sliding off of his bed, the hacker slowly made his way to his door before easily pushing it open.

The little living space the Legends were provided with was comfortable, though Park could do without the close proximity of his fellow combatants, fully capable of crushing his windpipe as he slept peacefully, or even suffocating him with a pillow, or perhaps even slipping into his room undetected and—

Quickly, Park put an end to such thoughts, as they only aided in ruining any chances at sleep.

Surprise settled into his features, noticing the lights in the kitchen were on. He had planned to fetch a glass of water, maybe distract himself with work before he was so tired he collapsed from exhaustion, but, depending on who exactly was wandering around in the kitchen, he'd have to put a pin in those plans.

Silently, carefully, the surveillance expert slipped into the kitchen. Standing inside was Elliott, the man's hands placed on the counter in front of him, the light above the stove the only source of illumination, bathing his figure in a dim light. His shoulders appeared tense, shaking, with occasional sniffles heard. It wasn't Park's place to interfere; matters of mental struggle were never his strong suit, and he'd only run the risk of hurting the other further.

So, an attempt was made at fetching the desired glass of water without making a sound. But that plan was quickly foiled when the cupboard containing the cups creaked open, immediately alerting the trickster to his presence, the taller male immediately whipping around to see who the intruder was exactly, unintentionally providing Park a better look at what exactly he was about to begin dealing with.

The latter's eyes were bloodshot, tears still staining sun-kissed skin, expression that of a deep-seated sorrow that Park couldn't even begin to understand. However, he was quick in wiping away any traces of that cracked façade, returning to that normal persona the trickster always donned whenever he was dealing with emotional backlash.

"Hey there," spoke the brunet, lips curling into a smile. "You look like shit there, raccoon."

A frown immediately replaced the stoic expression he sported just moments prior to the statement. "As if you look any better."

Elliott playfully scoffed, slipping a hand into his pajama bottoms' pocket. Park couldn't quite tell, but there appeared to be something in it—a phone, perhaps? "I actually sleep. You look like you haven't seen a bed ever—like, not once in your entire life. You do have one, right?"

Frankly, Park could leave right now, do as he originally planned, but… it didn't feel right, just leaving Elliott alone like this. So, releasing a sigh, Park decided a change of plans was in order.

"Is there a reason you're out here at almost three in the morning?" he inquired, lacking the normal malice his questions usually had. He opted to forgo asking about the fact he was crying as well, as it would only result in him becoming defensive. Park really didn't have the patience for that.

"What? Oh, is—is it really that late?" Suddenly, the trickster appeared sheepish, looking around for clock. "Must've… lost track of time or something," was then muttered, a chuckle following suit. "But I just couldn't sleep. Y'know—the usual stuff."

"The usual excuses." Lithe arms cross over one another upon a slender chest, back leaning against the fridge and brown optics glaring in Elliott's direction. "I won't push you into talking about what's bothering you, but it isn't healthy to keep quiet about it."

"W-Wha—? H-Hey, that's not fair!" Elliott huffed, a frown now crossing his own visage. "You're also up at three, looking like shit. Why can't we talk about your problems!?"

Of all the times to be logical, the hacker thought bitterly, pinching the bridge of his nose. "Witt, I'm the last thing you should worry about." He wasn't wrong; Park was just a fellow competitor, nothing special. He wasn't worth the extra worry. "You don't need to talk, but…" Park's shoulders shrugged in nonchalance, suddenly casting his gaze elsewhere. "I'm… here, I gu—"

He hadn't been expecting Elliott to suddenly float over to where he had been standing, like some specter, but he wasn't an intangible being, because strong arms were suddenly wrapped around him in a tight, warm embrace. The taller's nose was buried in the latter's shoulder, likely trying to hide away, and Park—well, Park was stunned into silence, feeling the other shake gently against him, the suppressed tremors still wracking the holographic expert's strong frame.

Hesitantly, his own arms slid around the other, providing a somewhat loose embrace that he doubted did much aside from exemplify his awkward tendencies.

"Kid?" whispered Elliott.

"Hm?" hummed Park.

"Shit sucks."

A chuckle escaped the hacker, his own head coming to rest on Elliott's shoulder. "Yes. It does."

"Shit… really sucks…"

"… Witt…?"

Those same toned arms were suddenly squeezing around his waist, the tremors suddenly worsening, and Park could feel warmth on his shoulder.

Ah. He was crying on him, like he was some teddy bear. Normally, he'd pull away, give some half-assed excuse, and slip away. He wasn't good at this—he just made things worse. But his heart ached at the thought of leaving Elliott in this state, bawling about whatever unseen force was haunting him, whatever external factor was plaguing his heart.

Park let out a soft breath, his hand rubbing along the tense muscles in the other's back.

"I'm sorry, Elliott."

#apex legends #crypto #tae joon park #mirage #elliott witt #cryptage #lenardo does a write #it's 2am i shouldn't do requests so late ahhhh #sorry it's so scattered fjdjwk #i hope it's at least somewhat enjoyable to read lol

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theangrypokemaniac · 4 years

Text

Since no one cares about Alola I can therefore say what I want.

Team Rocket's Pokémon are all worthless toss. That's such a surprise from this oafish writing team.

Remember when Jessie and James had two each, to offer variety? Permitting them even that is too much focus nowadays.

We don't what anything interesting going on, thank you. Repetition is what we and they deserve.

Arbok, Weezing, Lickitung and Victreebel are spinning in their graves.

Stufful was missing for three years and she displayed not the slightest pang of concern until its belated invention. Given her temper she ought to have torn the island apart searching for her baby, but no.

Not bothered about Bewear. It shouldn't really be in this list as it didn't belong to them, although catching has no value anymore.

A bit thick are we? Or conforming to the usual parental standards?

Well, she's sufficiently neglectful that she let it out of her sight long enough for it to be crushed under a tree, then was too idle to come to the rescue. In consequence he was obliged to wait days until one of Lusamine's lackeys arrived.

She's 'Mama Bear' though, isn't she?

It's based on a red panda, is partly the colour of a black bear and as strong as a grizzly, but all that is a mere cover for its true nature as a Bear-Face Ham.

The modern pretence is that everyone's a vegetarian (are they balls), and Ursa Major lives on fruit, not, you know, flesh.

Just because it there's no hibernating in the tropics doesn't mean it can get by without a salmon now and again.

The name is stupid, since a red panda is not a bear. A play on words isn't clever if based on what it isn't.

They should've called her 'Pandamonia', or 'Pandour', which is a brutal soldier.

It is at least redeemed by battering the klepto cockroach into the next dimension. Good on 'er.

Mind you, this is Alola, a cesspit of incest, so it's probably some sick arrangement, like Bewear being slipped the length by that previously unmentioned Oakie-Dokie clone.

He's the spit of Jimmy Savile, thus every depravity is on the table.

Where's Stufful's dad? He buggered off too?

What kind of name is 'Stufful'? What's it made from, 'stifle' and 'suffocation'? 'Stuffed'?

Thanks for that. Whenever I see its ovine face I'm reminded of taxidermy.

Were Ursa Minor and Bewear described as mother and son, or were they 'friends'?

A series of games involving breeding and the 'anime' is too squeamish to even imply animals live in families.

I don't care either way for Stufful, but I'd like it better if its mouth wasn't a camel toe.

I understand it's a sea creature, and the contents of the oceans are their own brand of peculiarity, but looks like a limbless, undead spaniel plagued with extra teats. Its 'ears' resemble distended mammeries.

Hey, remember that interesting, original Pokémon James had called Victreebel? Let's do it again! And again! AND AGAIN!

Victreebel is a venus fly trap: an anomaly in nature as a carnivorous plant. It makes sense that the Pokémon version would be a bit more full-on in catching a meal.

New law: Team Rocket are required to collect monsters as ugly as themselves.

Hurting James was its personality quirk, particularly to it, fitting its nature, its 'thing'. It was never meant as a template for most of what he caught in the future.

Something is funny if it happens once, and can be now and again if done with a least a little flair.

Nothing repeated as a constant leaden thud is remotely amusing, but this is an unknown fact to Nintendo bone heads. They think certain events are utterly hilarious in themselves and require no finesse in application.

They have a checklist of moments obligatory to each episode, which explains the plodding lifelessness. Tick 'em off to keep the fans from being ticked off. All we supposedly care about is each gong struck, not how we got there.

At least Victreebel used to vary its behaviour:

Occasionally it even did as told without any chomping preamble.

It didn't do the exact same action every single time it was involved!

Mostly it swallowed James.

How long was it once Victreebel was chucked out on its leafy arse before Cacnea arrived?

Oh look, it's a Grass Pokémon and attacks James!

Sometimes it ate Jessie.

Carnivine got in on the action before Cacnea's run was even up: kick 'em when they're down why don't yer?

Oh look, it's a Grass Pokémon and attacks James!

Now we have Mareanie. Wasn't there a few in between? No, shush, they don't exist anymore.

Every bloody time it came out, it turned round and punctured him.

Every bloody time.

Ah, it's not a Grass Pokémon. That makes it totally new!

Oh yes, it's the complete opposite of Victreebel. It's Poison instead. Not like it at all.

Every bloody time it came out, it'd gnaw his head off.

Every bloody time.

That's endearing.

Oh but it is! It's just showing him love!

As that makes it alright!

If a muscular man squeezed his girlfriend so tightly he cracked her ribs, is that 'sweet' because he 'meant well' but his feelings overwhelmed him? Or is it A.B.H.?

Every bloody time it comes out, it injects James's head with toxin until it swells up into purple pustule of disease.

Every bloody time.

I never took Victreebel's assault as affection. To me they were real attempts to devour James, especially with the accompanying frenzied screech. Interpreting that as a positive emotion is bizarre to me.

At soon as James found it wedged in a Breeding Centre cage and opened the door it grabbed him, which appeared to be Victreebel lashing out in anger for what'd happened in the intervening period.

What Mareanie does is worse than the other three put together. At least they delivered mere bite marks or pinpricks, but it infects James!

Whole episodes of this programme have involved a Pokémon falling foul of Poison Powder and being on the verge of death, with all done to preserve it until Ash hunted down the cure, but now it's a big laugh, apparently.

Not one character ever has the wits about them to carry an Antidote, otherwise the writers wouldn't be able to fall back on the tired old race-against-time scenario, which is no such thing as we know they won't die.

Is it likely that James is always going to end up picking a violent Pokémon, of all the individuals of a race, of all the lifeforms in the universe?

Aren't his allowed to come with their own personality, or is there a set pattern they must follow, and when caught they absorb it, for fear they might be memorable?

Mind you, it's interesting the reactions these abuses provoke:

Victreebel eats James: Aw, it's so kyewt!

Cacnea impales James: Aw, it's so kyewt!

Carnivine chews James: Aw, it's so kyewt!

Mareanie poisons James: Aw, it's so kyewt!

Meowth claws James: Aw, it's so kyewt!

Jessie beats James: Aw, it's so kyewt!

Jessibelle whips James: EEVUL BITCH!!!

Mimikyu should be opposed for breaking it's own world.

To us, Pikachu is the most famous Pokémon, belonging to Ash, the protagonist, and the franchise's mascot.

To them, Pikachu is just another middling Pokémon hundreds of young Trainers catch, and holds no greater value.

It's blatantly a reference to Pikachu's real-life status, acknowledging itself as fiction. No Pokémon would hold the same significance for this design to work but him.

Otherwise why would Mimikyu, when it has the choice of every Pokémon that exists, and, if meant to be a believable world, every Pokémon we don't know exists, choose Pikachu to ape? Why wouldn't it pick a Legendary?

Alola Pikachu is looking off colour.

It's not even this specific Mimikyu, it's the entire species!

What, they work to a hive mind, incapable of individual tastes and opinions?

Do they all hate Pikachu too, even though the entire mouse population of Alola has been rounded up by that loon and trapped in a valley, or were we lumbered with the lone demented obsessive with a severe complex?

Is it well jel that Pikachu's a real one, whereas it can only manage to knock up a bog-standard costume with a face daubed by a chimp paralytic from scrumpy?

Well stop imitating it then! Invent your own design!

Oh come on. The animators can't even do that, hence its creation. You can hardly expect it to display inspiration if born from its absence.

I wonder if it hates Raichu. And Pichu. And Plusle and Minun. And the rest of the Pikachu derivatives, although it is one.

(As an aside, I don't know why Raichu, Marowak and Exeggutor were redrawn for this era, but not Pikachu, Cubone and Exeggcute. Why does the sweaty climate affect only evolutions?)

Here's an idea: make Shiny Mimikyu have a different get up, not colour.

You can have that free, Game Freak. I'm too lenient with yer.

Presumably, Mimikyu hatches (already dead?) in all its eye-bleeding nastiness, and instinctively reaches for the discarded yellow bedsheet and pack of crayons that just so happens to be nearby, and the scissors to make the peep holes.

Them inbreds know how to litter.

Flippers?

Nah, it's probably hooks.

How is it born aware of a Pikachu's face, and why is it compelled to copy them?

Knowledge of his own ugliness is innate, thus he must cover his nakedness before it lays waste to the forest inhabitants.

Yet if you breed 'em, it emerges wearing it, like the cloth formed from left-over albumen and stained with yolk!

What's it reaching with? Paws?

Mittens?

Oh, and there was a deceased specimen in the series, so it's either a ghost, and nothing but bedsheet, or a zombie, and it's repulsive carcass has upped the ante by putrifying.

Even its name doesn't fit. Apart from the unsightly spelling, what's 'Mimikyu' about? It's not mimicking me.

Mimikyu? It should be Mimikchu!

And you know what? Even Nintendo agree their own inventions aren't good enough, because they made return almost impossible.

They hate these more than they do even the pre-Unova Pokémon, most of whom were condemned to a dark existence within the iron corridors of H.Q. and haven't been seen since.

• Growlie is such a beloved figure in James's life he's been involved all of twice.

• Dustox got pensioned off.

• James was practically bullied into gifting Cacnea to that cloying bitch Gardenia.

• Whilst he still tecnically owns Chimecho, it's as lost to him as any of them.

Remember Seviper, Yanmega, Carnivine and Mime Junior?

Hell, remember Woobat, Yamask, Frillish and Amoonguss?

Or Gourgeist and Inkay?

Of course, since the makers appear to have the Reverse-Midas Touch, Team Rocket still took that useless, wincing lump Wobbuffet to Galar instead of dumping it over the sea. Apparently we're stuck with it forever.

Arbok, Lickitung, Weezing and Victreebel got shafted, but THAT survives?

Yes? That's more the writers do. In current canon these Pokémon never lived at all. Dead memories in the haze.

#Team Rocket #Bewear #Stufful #Mareanie #Mimikyu #Wobbuffet #Alola

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pixypersephone-blog · 7 years

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Vent

I’m going to vent here. Just get it all out. No one even knows who the fuck I am here so I don’t have to stress out about that shit. I am constantly suffocating, I literally feel like someone is standing on my throat 24/7. I keep trying to cope, keep trying to keep moving on, keep trying to get past my fucked up life but nothing seems to be helping. My SD is a fucking perv to put it lightly and having to deal with that constantly with only being able to talk about it with 3 people and feeling like utter shit anytime you mention because who the fuck am i to ruin their image of life who am i to bring up negative subjects to the obviously content or happy people, it makes me sick to my stomach to be such a fucking burden on everyone. I wish I wasn’t here. Everyone keeps saying thing will get better i have to try harder focus on other thing that im not even trying to be happy that im trying to bring everyone down and i never do enough. here’s the fucking truth i don’t know how to do more. it literally takes every single thing in me to even open my eyes and every night i pray that i won’t wake up again i know i’m a selfish whiny little bitch but this is the only way i can actually try to rid this poison in my veins. honestly it’s probably too late. i can’t be around the people i want to be because of this or that complication. i can’t stop ruining a friendship because my stupid heart won’t get the fucking picture that it just will never happen and my mind has accepted that so idk what the fuck is even wrong with me. i haven’t managed to keep a single child alive because I'm a selfish blind slut who just wanted a goddam family and wanted desperately to find love that loved in return. here i am 26, 4 lost in womb 1 murdered and the other adopted by my parents which makes the SD thing a 1000 times worse for me and my living situation is hard enough seeing her every day and not agreeing with how she is being raised but not able to say anything, constantly being taken advantage of. I tried to go to school to drown out everything and now everyone wants to get mad because I don’t clean up after every fucking one else because I'm trying to do something with my life to escape this hell. I'm hopeless and will never manage to have a successful relationship because I don’t know when to pull back and shut the fuck up because I’m too fucking emotional. I cry all the time and am weak as shit even though everyone has this horrid misconception that I'm strong. whenever I start to talk to someone about whatever is going on with me they change the subject I can only presume because they can’t deal with how fucking pathetic I am and probably wish I would just shut up or jump into oncoming traffic already. work is fucking insane and every time I think I'm going to make a step up I'm shoved back down the fucking cliff. I just....i don’t know how to deal with living anymore. I'm not sure I even want to. I've tried everything I went back on meds, even had them upped, even tried to see a counselor but that didn’t seem to help and even if someone did try to listen they would probably tell me to take a long walk off a short pier wearing concrete boots.

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