#why did she even say this

[oceanwithouthermoon]

arisu knew saiki liked men all along

#why did she even say this #i know its a bit but its so funny how she didnt even have a reaction to the fact dhe thought his celebrity crush was a man LOL #chiyo doesnt even respond #actually its a known fact at pk that saiki is bisexual #thats ?? very believable i think actually #yeah no they definitely just know hes queer #cuz of all the dating rumors he has about him with both guys and girls #yeah thats definitely it #saiki k #tdlosk #the disastrous life of saiki k. #saiki kusuo #arisu makino #yumehara chiyo #meows post

[pherredraws]

captain and the girlssss

#bbc ghosts #ghosts bbc #i think its sweet that captain’s better friends with the girls than with any of the guys aside from pat #even then he and pat are like co-leaders #i think its fascinating how his relationship with both of them evolved #i think sometimes about that moment where lady b’s offended about the two brides and captain gives her a side glance but obviously #says nothing #can you tell i post art just to ramble in the replies? #also when kitty’s looking for someone she yells alison’s name first and then captain’s. i just think that they #kitty’s two fairy godmothers……….. #edit: why did i say replies when i meant tags. anyway

[comradekatara]

babygirl..... goth gf....... knife wife

#id in alt text #avatar the last airbender #atla #mai #art #mart #she would hate me for using so much orange lmao. which is why i did <3 #this was so fun to paint #not tagging this oldergaang even tho she is probably slightly older here just bc i didnt significantly change her design so it doesnt count #anyway she means so much to me...... one of the first characters that ever got me saying 'shes just like me fr'

[homielander]

shiv's motivations for voting to pass the gojo deal are so layered and i don't think they should be dismissed in favour of any one interpretation. shiv desperately grabbed on to a lifeline for her relationship with tom. shiv was the deciding vote and she couldn't bear to hold the crown only for a moment just to place it atop her brother's head. shiv knew she would have more influence as wife of CEO rather than sister of CEO. shiv absolutely hated seeing kendall crystallize into logan before her eyes, especially when he made roman bleed ("and if we did kill him we get to go to bed") -- succession has always been about siblings so of course she tried to free her brothers before her child. shiv still thinks she can raise her child with all the material benefits of being the daughter of waystar CEO while doing better by her, whatever that means. and all of those things are true

#shiv roy #succession #succession spoilers #ok i'm sleeping #wait i know i just assumed tomshiv baby is a girl but like. i'm right #also i have seen many people say shiv did it purely out of spite and i will say #i don't think they would have had dialogue about shiv saying she's tired and they should all rest #or panned to shiv looking at roman's face fresh with blood #or shown shiv tearing up over her conversation with tom at the beginning of the episode #or had her say 'i cannot stomach you' which has pretty obvious connotations even in the context of succ #or had shiv make up her mind precisely when kendall said the andrew dodds confession was a lie #if her motives weren't meant to be read as ambiguous. they would not have put those things in there without reason #shiv leaving the room may have been impulsive spite but what came after was more complicated #it's also not even wholly altruistic it's just cold admittance that they don't have It. she thinks she does #and i'm not sure why the sentiment that they can't take it but she can surprises anyone #she's literally always seen herself as the exception

[kazbiter]

very interested in how the storyline of ronan's sexuality is developed in the dream thieves as a battle between kavinsky and gansey while adam is almost never present in these scenes, which makes it even more interesting that we found out in CDTH that ronan was set on adam the moment he saw him. i think that ronan is attracted on some level to both gansey and kavinsky (you can draw the lines of how much romantic intention you think he hold towards either of the yourself, that's a rabbit hole I would need a whole other post to go down) but more so I think he was attracted to the IDEA of both of them and certain qualities that each possessed, and that the real question wasn't does ronan want gansey or kavinsky because we know he wants adam but rather who's qualities resonate more with who ronan is, or who he is choosing to be at this critical moment in his character development. kavinsky is a dangerous thrill and often comes wrapped in ronan's other favorite self destructive attempts to outrun himself, while gansey is ronan's history and proof of his deep capacities for loyalty and love. he tells kavinsky it was never going to be me and you and that it's not going to be ronan and gansey because that was never the question- maggie was obviously always planning on bluesy and pynch. the answer to who ronan WANTS in adam. the question of who ronan IS- that's what he's trying to decide here. his self hatred is such a heavy weight on him and theme in tdt, and the kavinsky/gansey dichotomy represents the the path he will choose to take to deal with it- keep try to drive faster than his demons or accept that he can still be loved even if he isn't the person he once was. the dream thieves my beloved ronan lynch my beloved

#obviously I'm not the authority on this lmao these r just my thoughts but I would love to hear ur thoughts as well!!! #this has been in my drafts for a while while I kept updating and tweaking it but I think this is the best way to say what I'm trying to say #also lot of kavinsky posts here at kazbiter recently not very sure what's up w that #anyways yeah I really do think this is why she did it this way like I don't think kavinsky ever even says adams name?? i could b wrong tho #and I always found that interesting and while I appreciated he was the leader of ronsey nation I was like how does he not know abt adam #and this is my conclusion I think it was an active writing choice of Maggie's bc the dichotomy of gansey/kavinsky just really works for #ronans personal overarching plot of the book that is undoubtedly his in trc

[lunarharp]

What led to this (orufrey comic, cw an uncomfortable/creepy scene)

#witch hat tag #orufrey #er.... i'm too tired to have anything to say..i worked several days on this. #wait.. didn't i say just recently here that i probably wouldn't ever depict 'what if alaira is qifrey's sort-of ex'. What's going on #i don't even remember deciding to draw this..it's all a blur..i'm not sure why i WOULD decide to draw delicate scenes in my head #that i wouldn't really want to share with anyone/discuss so why did i draw it... #some part of me really really wants to draw things that are more and more true to myself... #maybe because of my alienation with most romance/shipping/dynamics the rest of the world depicts. #orufrey really is perfectly suited to me - what i read in the text and what is in my head. well anyway #i am TIRED of drawing poses and angles and..maybe now i will actually take a break from drawing bc of the tediousness of Angles #btw it really is a 'stretch of time' . . . assuming witches graduate age 18-20 #well orufrey are canonically 30-ish. they've only had agott around for presumably about TWO years (?) bc she took the test age 10 #and it feels like oru moving in/unknown atelier acquisition/building (?) .. i guess that could be a year or so before agott at most #(she was the first disciple) so... ????????? What about the other 7 or so years ?!?!?!!?!?! Unemployed Brimhat Hatred era #that time is very nebulous. after qifrey went to the tower i feel like it's been implied he and oru drifted apart a little. #certainly they didn't live together at first... no way. that doesn't feel like how it is based on things oru has said about becoming Eye #idk. I'm tired now. i don't usually think of alaira as necessarily qifrey's ex and this being how things went in that 'sliver of time'. #i usually prefer the idea that they have their first kiss with each other in their 30s cause That's Just The Orufrey Lifestyle #just felt like making a more relatable alternative view of my own Cai Orufrey Canon one time. btw im a big monoshipper and it hurt a bit #let's leave it there. this is surely the most i've worked on a 'single' art - though now i realise just how much longer the fic took :')

[blluespirit]

okay like maiko annoys me for a lot of reasons but the consequences for mai helping azula to hunt down zuko being apparently non-existant to their relationship annoys me so fucking much. she tried to have him imprisoned and she's never shown feeling even any remorse about that?? and then they get together at the end??????? hello????

#also does mai even understand that what the fn has done is like.... bad??? #from memory i don't think she has any scenes like that #even in the boiling rock it doesn't seem like mai fully grasps why zuko deserted and betrayed their country #she doesn't betray azula bc she realises the fire nation is trying take over the fucking world #she says that she did it bc of her love for zuko #:/ #shipping is one of atlas biggest flaws imo like good lord it really falls on its face #mai #zuko #jack talks #main series #avatar the last airbender

[anna-scribbles]

do you think émilie agreste knew, on the day she became too weak to leave that house, that she never would again

#having a normal one. don’t worry about it #just thinking about how she never escaped even in death etc etc #do you think she knew even as she pleaded with gabriel to give up on her that he never would. #that no one truly loved her enough to heed her warnings #that adrien was going to be left alone #what must it have been like for her to grow slower and weaker and quieter until she was as still as the bed d #do you think she knew she was becoming another fixture of that house #beautiful and immovable and silent #how long did gabriel have that coffin ready in the basement. how much time did he spend building it. did nathalie help. #did emilie know where they went in those long hours she laid there dying? that they intended to keep her there -always dying and never dead? #is that why she left videos? because she knew they’d build an altar for her haunting and she had to give her ghost a voice? #i think often about gabriel saying that emilie never wanted what she deserved #i think about gabriel and nathalie not letting her die. i think about ladybug not letting chat noir die. #circles and cycles ending up right back where you started #you know. having a normal one #anna rambles #emilie agreste #thirteen

[redbuddi]

the James Somerton thing really shows how hard people are willing to go to bat for a white cis guy who seems to say all the right things and makes content they like no matter how much everyone else has proof of them being a bad person. That is, until a more popular white cis guy who says all the right things calls them out.

This isn't a criticism of Hbomberguy at all, but of everyone else for refusing to listen to the voices of the people James hurt until Hbomb made it cool. This happens all the time and is still happening and it drives me insane. Y'all need to do better.

#coughquintonreviewscough #everyone's willing to believe victims until a white man they like says not to i guess #even when said white man a) has a history of being very creepy to various female youtubers #and b) is literally contradicting his own stated beliefs #dude literally said “victims should be believed because a woman can stand to loose everything when they call out a man” #but then was like “oh but dont believe this woman shes just a creepy stalker who wants to force herself into my life” #i wont say everything i know since it's not my story to tell but #i want yall to wonder why while quinton's editors came to bat for him #literally none of the people quinton has collabed with did #if theyre his friends or at least like him why didnt they say anything #also it took way too long for game grumps to fall from grace #yknow despite how consistently racist and sexist they were non stop

[bluespiritshonour]

Thinking about how popular Mai would've been if she were a boy. Like, can you imagine?people would've swooned over her like they swoon over, idk, Jet—it just occured to me that I like her because she's so unconventional for a female character.

Girls like Mai exist in real world—but women are rarely allowed to be complex and three dimensional and grey in fiction.

I would argue that Mai is a grey character; she did start out as Azula's lackey. And well, that's a fictional girl; I found her apathy stan-worthy.

I love that she constantly has a bitch face. She cracks dry/dark jokes. Wears black. Is mysterious and stoic. Does everything she can to disregard authority/even though she's not confrontational about it. (There's one difference. Bad boys are usually very confrontational).

All these characteristics exist in popular male characters. (Except for one thing that I've noticed: most of these “bad boy” characters are volatile and yet, are described as broody/stoic, like, dude. That ain't stoic, that's so emotional.)

So yeah. Coming back to Mai. Imagine if she were a boy.

A boy who's apathetic and has no passion for anything. A boy who's constantly bored/a thrill-seeker/has nothing he cares about. A boy who has a shutter for a face and rarely expresses himself, is amazing with knives and hand-to-hand combat and is gloomy.

There's nothing he cares about because caring gets people hurt and everyone wants something and is two-faced so it's safe to be a mask of indifference. Until—hold on—until he meets a passionate, hot-headed girl who's ✨ different ✨and if not anything, wears her heart on her sleeve/is an open book...

Yes, I'm talking about Zuko.

...and oh, oh, would you look at that? Now he has something to fight for!

I mean, for Mai, Zuko (after Ty Lee) is the only other person in front of whom she can be herself.

Reminds me of “he's only nice to her” trope. Sorry.

“You're so beautiful when you hate the world.”

“I don't hate you.”

Just imagine Mai as a boy. People would eat it up. They don't like her 'cause she's a girl.

#mai #atla mai #avatar the last airbender #in defense of mai #i just felt like word vomiting #even zuko is described as broody #as if he wasn't constantly #and i mean CONSTANTLY #incapable of not expressing himself #plus mai was more apolitical than zuko #zuko was an active part of FN imperialism #and while mai did help azula #she always chose the path of least resistance #cue azula drilling a hole into ba sing se's wall #in what would be a historic victory for FN #and mai being like ew #azula can kill me later im not jumping in a drain #again not defending mai for helping azula #which is why i say she is a grey character #she's also a side character and hence did not get as much care/screen time as #say #someone like zuko

[the-lark-ascending69]

Sick of "Robin wouldn't date her best friend's ex". Get ready for "haha Steve i'm fucking your ex"

#robin would actually think it's so funny that she got back at steve after he (unknowingly) ''stole'' tammy from her for years #it's something that only makes sense in her head #ronance #tbh i don't think Robin would even register it as a problem #i imagine her talking about it with Dustin and Lucas (they're all she could find) #and they're like !! no! your friend's ex is off limits!! you can't do that! #and robin is like ?? why not?? #''dude think about steve!'' #''what about steve?'' #''he's your friend!'' #''he said it didn't bother him'' #''yeah duh he can't say otherwise #that will make him look like the bad guy'' #''why would he say he has no problem with it if he did? i can't read his mind you know'' #''dude it's obvious'' #''i still don't understand what the problem is'' #she wonders how come she ended up taking advice from 15yo boys anyway

[haunted-xander]

So. Fatebreaker, right? Ryne's biggest fears made manifest, daddy issues personified, yes?

He's an amalgamation of Thancred and Ran'jit, his face, his voice and his weapon is Thancred's, but his body, his fighting style and his words are Ran'jit's.

Throughout the fight Fatebreaker constantly makes comments about how only he can protect Ryne, only he can provide for her, only he has even the right to so much as stand beside her, to be in her general presence. He's possessive and obsessive, repeatedly asserting that she is HIS and his only. Which is exactly what Ran'jit says basically every time we encounter him.

But this time it's in Thancred's voice. This time it's with the voice and face of a man she actually cares about.

Ryne isn't scared of Thancred, she never has been. Even when she first met him she was barely even nervous (as clearly shown in Thancred's short story). There's a lot of different feelings happening between those two, but fear has never been one of them.

But now, after things have gotten so much better, she is scared of Thancred becoming like Ran'jit. Because if Thancred was just a little further gone, if he was just a little less compassionate, he would've. It wouldn't be hard for him to go down the same path as Ran'jit did, to be incapable of letting go of the ghost of that girl he loved so so much to the point he'd stubbornly grip anything close to her he could. He didn't, but the fact he could've is terrifying.

It makes his final words, words that are Thancred's, so very important. This is her deepest fears made manifest, but he still says he wants her to be happy. Her happiness not only matters, but is important to him.

#Now we -the audience- ofc knew Thancred was unlikely to go down that path #bc if theres one thing hes been consistent in even in his darkest moments its living up to his loved ones' wishes and legacies #the only time he even speaks against it is his conversation w minfilia in amh araeng #and thats more a case of all his (poorly) repressed grief and stress exploding than him actually meaning what he says #and trying to control rynes life after minfilia literally told him to just let her live her life goes directly against that #i think about fatebreaker a lot. as i do all things related to ryne & thancred #and to me its so important to note that hes more or less ran'jit with just enough thancred in him to be *too* thancred for comfort #its so. her greatest fear isnt even the thing thats been haunting her her whole life (being forced to fill in for minfilia) #its having her free will taken from her by the person she cares about the most (thancred) #and for him to be trapped in endless suffering because he cant move on #just like ran'jit did and was #its not even necessarily that shes all that scared of ran'jit himself #what shes scared about is caring about someone like that #because then she wont say no or try to be anyone but minfilia #(thats also why this fear appears specifically after things get better) #(because she was already ready to forsake herself if it eased thancred suffering) #okay im gonna stop now i need to sleep gnight everyone #ryne waters #thancred waters #ran'jit #final fantasy #final fantasy 14 #final fantasy xiv #ff14 #ffxiv #xander rambles #at this point i should make a tag for ryne ramble posts i make so many of them #tomorrow. maybe. if i remember #edit: i made it #xander being insane about ryne

[bumblingbabooshka]

My name is [BRUTUS] and my name means [HEAVY] so with a [HEAVY] heart I'll guide this dagger Into the heart of my enemy

Something about having absolutely no choice in who you marry. About being literally forced by the law to spill blood - to accept this stranger as your husband over a man you truly care for or accept the fact that the man you love might die because you put him in danger. Something about risking becoming the wife of a man you've never even seen before a few minutes prior because you know anything would be better than putting your beloved in harm's way. Something about the trust inherent in that decision and in the way she speaks of it after. Truthfully, T'Pring doesn't know the captain and she doesn't know Spock. Either one of them could have taken her as their wife but she does know Stonn. She knows that Stonn will remain by her side no matter what. They made a plan together. They have an agreement which T'Pring believes will be upheld even though the plan changed with the arrival of Kirk. Stonn will always be there, always, and Stonn will be hers. Something about the language used around T'Pring: Ownership, subservience, non-personhood. T'Pring is an object that Spock can win. She cannot reject him, she has no say in the matter other than having Stonn 'claim' her instead. Even when Spock leaves after being very clearly rejected by T'Pring he says "Stonn, she is yours." as if despite her clear rejection he still owns her and is must formally 'give' her to Stonn. But the language T'Pring uses around Stonn is a break from that: "There was Stonn who wanted very much to be my consort, and I wanted him." Stonn who wanted very much to be HER consort and she WANTED him. The language here is very particular - It's not, for example: "Stonn wanted me to be his wife" - he is HERS. And she WANTS him. There's a mutual affection there and a strong trust - a trust which seems to be well founded since Stonn (though silent) stands by her side at the end of the episode. <- That might seem small but if Spock would reject her for 'daring to challenge' (again, the language is not 'because I don't want you' but more of an implied disgust at her having the AUDACITY to reject him) then it's not a stretch to assume that it'd be considered an insult in the TOS Vulcan society to NOT choose Stonn as her champion after a prior agreement. Anyway T'Pring was a woman in an impossible situation within a society which saw her as more of an object than a person and she wanted Stonn and Stonn wanted to be hers and she trusted that he would understand if she had to publicly pick someone else to ensure his life would be spared and he did understand.

#amok time #T'Pring i s....T'Pring she....-puts my head through a wall- #PLEASE read under the cut for my rambling about T'Pring in amok time pleasepleaseplease #tired of 'T'Pring is evil/a bitch' and VERY uninterested in 'T'Pring is a girlboss' #T'Pring is a person in a society which doesn't think she has the right to make her own choices who's in [love] with a man who [loves] her #back in what I'd like to think is implied to be a slightly subversive way in its mutual and fervent nature (whether the writers thought #this was a good or bad thing - who knows. We know better RIGHT??) #and yes I will stylize T'Pring's hair differently every single time I draw it HEHEHE #star trek tos #Spock #T'Pring #also of COURSE something something spock/kirk & stonn/t'pring parallels: To keep your beloved safe you have to force someone else to kill #theirs - not BC you hate him (you don't) but you don't love him either and why does HE get to have you even if you don't want him?? Why doe #he get to 'give' you to the person YOU chose?? It's not a hatred on a person level (which I wanted to portray with the 'brothers') portion #but a sort of societal embodying. #I will think about T'Pring not wanting to be 'the consort of a legend' every damn day !!! #They really could have laid it on thick in making her evil guys...T'Pau even makes a comment about Spock's 'vulcan blood is thin' #but all T'Pring says is that Spock is a legend and she doesn't want that for her life. She wants Stonn. #And you're gonna sit there and you're gonna tell her that she's wrong!??? Spock doesn't even want to be with her!! Why is she so hated!? #CAN WE FREE MY GIRL??? She did all that but it's being read in the worst faith possible!! #comix #bea art tag #star trek art #She literally says the word 'FREE'...she's TRAPPED!!!

[worstloki]

AU where Loki doesn’t interfere with Thor’s banishment at all and it takes Thor years to prove himself worthy and when he returns to Asgard everything is just. The same. Nothing seems to have changed at all and everyone greets him like his absence was a minor obstacle that didn’t fundamentally change Thor and the worst part is Loki stepped down from the place as regent without any delay and Thor can’t help but feel there’s something underlaying the way his brother looks at him now and won’t let him touch him and Thor doesn’t know what he could have missed because he doesn’t think he would have found anything wrong with the things around him and how everyone behaves if he hadn’t spent time on Earth reflecting.

#the warriors 4 not being interested in anything Thor ‘learnt’ at all #and making it clear that Thor was punished unfairly and the AllFather’s decision had been harsh #Loki saying he’s happy for Thor and Thor sees the way the smiles are forced and he sees the way Loki avoids any touch #Thor hating the way Frigga talks about Loki’s short regency and Thor’s absence like it wasn’t two whole decades or something #like she’s so grateful to have her other son back without ever addressing why he was gone #Thor just. growing during his time on earth and being much more aware of the behaviour around him #he learns to be critical and assess why people around him may act a certain way #once he realises that it’s possible for him or anyone else to be fallible and make mistakes it’s over for Asgard for him I think #Thor returns and Loki gives him the throne and everyone expects him to obviously have the throne #and Odin is sleeping and Thor isn’t comfortable with the way everyone accepts him as king regent after the banishment #Loki who either never lashed out against Jotunheim or did and it was brushed away and no one thinks about it as anything #but Loki is still deeply affected and acts the way he always would have but Thor can feel it’s not the same #he knows something is wrong and Loki won’t say anything about it and Thor doesn’t know how to bring it up #Thor sees Loki metaphorically receding into the shadows to become a nonpresence so loud Thor hears it even after returning from decades away #Thor goes to Earth and gets his priorities in order gets a new worldview learns not to take what he has for granted #and finds out he actually despised Asgard #he’s been back a week and he can’t stand it

[uncanny-tranny]

The funniest thing about my transition is slowly becoming even more of a spitting image of my dad. It sometimes makes me double-take in the mirror because I look like my dad if he were cooler

#trans #transgender #lgbt #lgbtq #ftm #nonbinary #how i am cooler than my dad: 1. long hair 2. face piercings 3. fagswag #the stereotype is that people go on testosterone to look like anime boys but i did it to look like Some Dad #i want to look like charlie twilight saga unfortunately (fortunately) #(guess what i'm watching. this shit is so so so so so funny. funniest movies made by man) #i was told pre-medical transition that i look like the spitting image of my dad by somebody who knew him as a teen and :') #i wonder what they would say like 2.5 years on testosterone thiugh #also tangentially-related but i had like. the biggest infatuation with kristen stewart when i was younger and i don't even know why #i think i just thought she was really pretty and i liked how deadpan she was in the movie i watched featuring her (lmao)

[thepoisonroom]

'I flirted with the idea that instead of being trans that I was just a cross-dresser (a quirk, I thought, that could be quietly folded into an otherwise average life) and that my dysphoria was sexual in nature, and sexual only. And if my feelings were only sexual, then, I wondered, perhaps I wasn’t actually trans.

I had read about a book called The Man Who Would Be Queen, by a Northwestern University professor who believed that transwomen who were attracted to women were really confused fetishists, they wanted to be women to satisfy an autogynephilia. And though I first read about this book in the context of its debunkment and disparagement, I thought about the electricity of slipping on those tights, zipping up those boots, and a stream of guilt followed. Maybe this professor was right, and maybe I was only a fetishist. Not trans, just a misguided boy.

About a year later, on the Internet, I come across a transwoman who added a unique message to the crowd refuting this professor. Oh, I wish I remember who this woman was, and I wish even more that I could do better than paraphrase her, but I remember her saying something like this: “Well, of course I feel sexy putting on women’s clothing and having a woman’s body. If you feel comfortable in your body for the first time, won’t that probably mean it’ll be the first time you feel comfortable, too, with delighting in your body as a sexual thing?”'

-Casey Plett, Consciousness

#this quote always moves me almost to tears when i remember it #i'm not a trans woman and i don't share the author's specific experiences with transition #but it really moves me that she frame transition as joyfully giving yourself permission to approach your body #not as something that has to be disciplined and deprived and made small in all these various ways #but as a means for experiencing pleasure and joy and delight and for insisting that our feelings and desires are worth #valuing and exploring and treasuring #i always used to think of prioritizing those things for myself as selfish and irresponsible #but who does it harm to want to experience pleasure in your own body? #it's such a beautifully simple and powerful switch to have flip in your head #and equally why are we forced to deny our own pleasure in transition and anything else related to our bodies in the name of moral rectitude #this is why i get so confused and pissed off when other trans people are fatphobic for example #like why are you so invested in politics of shame and disgust that never had any purpose other than #violently disciplining people as if they've violated moral codes by existing in a body #to say nothing of white people being racist in gay and trans communities #like again this system of violence is foundational to homophobia and transphobia #so why are you acting like it has nothing to do with you #even if you are unmoved by the urgency of other people's suffering which btw you should be moved by #what do you hope to gain by acting a collaborator and handmaiden to those systems #Casey Plett #she really is one of my favorite authors i wish more non-canadians read her #this quote is from a series of columns she did ont transition and every single one is a banger #i love when she talks about the people-pleasing elements of dysphoria and transition denial #she's so sharp about noting how many of us deny our own dysphoria on the grounds that others like and validate our bodies #that's how i always felt during my cis conventionally feminine era #it pleased other people so much and also that reception felt so hollow and joyless to me because i hated it #i get less of that positive feedback but that feels so unimportant next to the joy and pleasure i get to experience #said with the understanding that i'm very privileged in being able to prioritize those things without fear. but it was a switch flip #personal nonsense