i'm still on "i come from catholics. latin catholics." because explaining the fact that he was raised in the church is explanation enough for the guilt and the complicated feelings towards religion. the fact that he associates being latino with catholicism or maybe catholicism with being latino is what really gets to me. eddie ties this religion — this religion he feels so guilty for abandoning, that still follows him around him everywhere — with his culture. being mexican, being latino, is integral to eddie. abuela's tamales and telenovelas and machismo he refuses to pass down to his son. and, in his eyes, catholicism is twisted in with that. the kind of knot you can't undo. that goes so much deeper than just a complicate relationship with religion. it's not just religion, it's culture, too. his culture. it's the people he grew up with, it's his childhood friends he met at his catholic elementary school, it's the church in el paso where he got married before shannon started showing. eddie thought he was free from catholic guilt because he stopped going to church a long time ago and he was fine with that, but he'll never stop being latino. and that, to him, is inherently religious. god, the implications of that. the fact that, to eddie, being queer wouldn't just disappoint a god he doesn't believe in anymore. it'd separate him from his culture. because he's okay with going to hell but who is he without abuela's crossing? without his st christopher pendant? disappointing god isn't the problem. not having a place to belong is what's terrifying.
the all-too-common experience of being a queer woman in fandom who thoroughly enjoys shipping and romance but finding myself drawn to significantly more mlm relationships than wlw and wondering if its because im secretly just a dirty fujoshi with internalized misogyny or if truly is just because of the outward and active misogyny in the world of writing and media that causes female characters and relationships to be written with less thought/time/importance. as with others experiencing this problem, i can comfortably admit that the answer is at least a little bit of both cause nobodys perfect or whatever. but let me just say. getting into the locked tomb and dungeon meshi at the same time has very quickly made it glaringly obvious that im not at fault for the WAY i consume media, only for the TYPE of media i choose to consume. in other words, Holy Shit it genuinely is just that so many creators of popular stories are mediocre at best when writing women and their relationships with each other and Holy Shit tamsyn muir and ryoko kui do a dangerously good job.
one of rairest pairs out there apperantly!!! also did this instead of a school paper i forgor about- these 2 can just be seen as friends also just puttin out there. just two pals. history type stuffs. um lastly to whatever anon told the blogs about this thank you-
(dont ask why this post took me 6 hours or why i ended up drawing 7 different drawings just for this pose- im so nermal ahahahahaha)
truly i am screaming into the void at this point but. can people pretty please stop posting my writing without crediting me lol. that is plagiarism lmao. i cannot stop u haha like i know it's not the biggest deal haha like i get that it's just fanfiction haha but i would rather u not share my writing at all than post it without crediting me. haha. lmao. lol.
Bramblestar’s treatment of Squirrelflight is so bad, and his treatment of Leafpool isn’t much better. Like yelling at her for trying to help a cat literally bleeding to death in the middle of camp? Dismissing her concerns when she pointed out that Sunrise’s wounds may become infected before Jayfeather and Alderheart return from the Moonpool? She’s just trying to do her job. She is the medicine cat, HIS medicine cat and yet he constantly ignores and downplays her expertise for what? To cater to the xenophobic members of his Clan? Hell there’s a moment where it looked like he was going to PHYSICALLY ATTACK HER after she went to go treat Sunrise.
He doesn’t respect the authority of his deputy or medicine cat (but let’s be honest it’s mainly Leafpool) so it’s no surprise that ThunderClan thought Ashfur’s actions in TBC were typical for him.
The narrative is trying so hard to justify his actions from the fact he's stressed or betrayed or "being honorable in his own way" (yes. a real line. a real line they wrote as squirrelflight tries to convince him not to raid a vulnerable group of cats just because they're not clanborn). it's bloody painful, i get this is the conflict but holy shit they are just having bramblestar cross the lines way too much, too often, and too violently.