👄 - audra!
"Have you ever seen the painting, Painter's Honeymoon? It's this... beautiful piece by Frederic Leighton, of this woman who looks like the sun personified. She's leaning into the man beside her who's working on a painting - but it's so clear she's guiding him. Easing him along to create a masterpiece with such love and kindness... he looks troubled, but. She's there. Can't be too troubled when she's there.
It's a bit cliché, but Audra reminds me of that woman. Maybe not her appearance, but her aura. She is that for me."
send a ‘👄 + character name’ and my muse will talk about that character - ASA // VAL // MARS // OZ // GUS // MAL // ASH
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#23
23. If you could send a message to yourself back on the first day of the year, what would it be?
Ooof this is a good one but also a rough one. At the beginning of this year i was having a really hard time. I had always had anxiety but i had never had panic attacks that make me think my heart is about to stop or that im about to pass out while driving or simply standing in the grocery line. Tbh for 4 months i had to quit smoking nicotine (been smoking since i was 15 years old???) and weed. It was horrible, it was all awful.
TLDR; I would honestly tell myself that its going to get manageable. And that life keeps moving forward regardless of how i feel, so keep finding those small moments and let them get bigger. (Let yourself get lost in them too)
💕thank you so much for the question💞
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17 for the ask game?
Characters I relate to most, huh?
I’ll admit, this one’s a hard one. I sometimes misjudge myself, so I had to talk to my friends about this one and what they think. Plus, doing quizzes before have helped.
So, let’s break this down (partially to make sure it fits)
To start, my quiz result is always Nagi.
At first, I was honestly confused by this. I was like “okay, I’m a huge fangirl, but I’m not like that crazy of a fangirl. Nor do I see myself as serious as she often is (though I can be serious?? just not in the Nagi way.)
But I’ve learned that I am indeed like Nagi. I try my best to be an empathetic, understanding person. I’m not always the best at reading people offline like she is, but I can usually read people better online (…not always. Depends on their typing style and how open they are). Once I know people, I can even work out their reasons for acting the way they do, and whether or not I agree with them is another question entirely. Either way, people aren’t black and white, so even if I don’t agree with them, that understanding of how they think, what their feelings are, etc. helps me see the full extent of who they are. And that in turn helps me accept all parts of them, the good and the bad.
…wow, okay, just looking at that last paragraph, I can see why I got Nagi.
But anyway, what really sold me on being like Nagi? Is that despite all of this, despite trying my best to understand and get along with people… I’ve found that there really are types of people I just don’t get along with so well. Either because their talking style just doesn’t really click with me, or because they seem very closed off and I can’t tell much about them, or just something else that I can’t put my thumb on.
But anyway, despite that, I’m also not like pre-Game Nagi with how she is when confronted with characters like that. When it comes to people I don’t know, I try to be more like character #2…~
My fav, Shiki.
I put her as number 2 because I’m not exactly the same as her. I don’t know fashion, have never cared much about my looks or stuff like that compared to another, and… well basically, the main point of her character arc doesn’t quite fit me.
But what does is her heart.
Shiki is always a kind person, even to someone who treated her bad at first. She always tries to see the best in others, and she never gives up on people. I strive to be like that, even if I don’t always reach it. And back when I was more confident, I actually was the one who reached out to people first (as Kazea could tell you >.>’~). Sometimes, I still do that… I’m just not as confident with it as I used to be. DX’~
But yeah, even with the people I don’t get along with, I can usually see the best in them, or at least understand why they see things the way they do. And like Shiki, there comes a point where I do need to stand up for myself if I also feel disrespected… though I’m also quick to forgive and give another chance, too.
…All that said, when it comes to my writing projects, I’m the Eri who creates with no regard~ while Kazea’s definitely Shiki, noticing all my little mistakes. …and I don’t know what Sair is in that now, actually…??
But anyway, I’m sadly not as perfect as Shiki (or Nagi) in understanding others, ‘cause sometimes I do get salty and too into my online world, much like our boy Rindo~
…….and then while I try to understand others, I also tend to really suck at opening up and actually talking about my own emotions like Fret. Especially when I’m around people I don’t know well enough for that.
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i'm just. i'm sitting at the library with a gorgeous view of the city. there's snow! and so many people walking across the square and up and down the river. the sun is in my eyes, and i'm all cute with my eyeliner and a cute little dress and kneesocks. but for what. i'm gonna sit here for three more hours and try and fail and get any of my four things done and then i'm gonna go home and try and manifest my room to warm up all evening. i'm just so tired of the stupid, perpetual loneliness that isn't severe, but just enough to make me realize how little genuine friends i've made at uni and how i havent been invited anywhere in like two months and how no one ever texts first. i could probably hit up a friend and meet her at an event thing tonight, but i know she'll be there with her group and it might just make me feel sadder. i have work to do tomorrow, and i know i should stay in and work on my fic. i just. i want to be able to casually get a drink with some comfortable friends. i want to feel seen. looking cute for myself as all fun and good, but i only ever dress up to sit in my room and the same corner of the library and i never actually talk to anyone it just makes me sad
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If the younger one wasn’t your type, what is?
Give up the deets
I meannnn.. I guess I shouldn't say I have a type.. I just think ur attractive or I don't loll but generally, I like men who can make me feel small, although I don't height discriminate..being taller than me is a plus. But I'm 5'2 so u don't need to be all that tall lol I also like women who are taller than me lmao. I like beards too..but again..not a requirement lol and I'm also a fan of bald guys😅 lovee a nice bald head.. bald with a beard and is taller and bigger than me? I meannn👀 a good head of hair is wonderful too tho dont get me wrong lol. Anyway its also about attitude tho..I like being dommed with even the littlest thing. For example my work crush is this super cute girl with these big eyes and long hair and she's taller than me🥺😭💖 anyway when we were at our work party and my drink was out she looked at me at goes, "go get back in line and get another drink then come back and we'll take a picture". I'm like 😳😳 yes ma'am👉👈😭 okay sorry, I'm done, I'm just v high rn and I miss her🥺😭
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