#yea right... but idk ill fucking go for it bc why not

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

#im just gonna b a whiney bby for a sec bc im tired and i spent too long out in the sun :-P #we left at like 7.30 for sampling and got back around 4 so like it was a long day. it wasnt too awful tho #only kinda awful. but thats not what i wanna complain abt. i wanna complain bc we have this project looming #bc our machines r coming back. so i have to make sure i can connect the stupid cameras thru code stuff and make sure the chambers r built #and i dont wanna do any of this bc i kno this project is gonna cause me physical and Phycological pain #like all the projects we're collecting for. last time i had to work with the samples i got a little too close to a like full of breakdown #so my brain and body dont wanna do it. and this specific project has potential to b even worse that what i usually do so fml #sigh... i just dont wanna be here doing what im doing anymore. ive stopped having fun. my boss is like wow u r gonna be the person ppl #think of on X topic once u get all this published and its like. god i dont fucking care. #when i think of the data all i can think of is how awful it was collecting it. everytime it cuts a bigger and bigger wound in me #like i think its done long term damage to my psychy. i burned out too hard too many times. #so i dont wanna do it. i dont wanna push these projects forward. and i dont wanna collect more data from 2 other sites bc i kno the more i #collect the worse its gonna be. ugh. whatever. im sure itll b fine. bc im less invested in what im doing so maybe this time ill have a #healthier way of dealing with it idk. im just sick of it. and that's really sad. #ugh. whatever. i have a big meeting with a guy tomorrow and idk what device im gonna use to zoom with him #bc my computer screen is fucked and the camera makes me look like im at the bottom of a well... #i need a new computer... agh. whatever ive gotta reread some of his papers #i hope he likes me. he's at a way too prestigious school so im like. way too intimidated. but like im sure he just wants passion #ans ive got passion. Hopefully ive also got the stuff for knicking a full ride scholarship as well #yea right... but idk ill fucking go for it bc why not #hhhh i just wanna b in a future what i have the perfect phd program and its all sorted out #unrelated

[jrueships]

taking lil notes on the sauce getting a tat stream.... will be reblogging with more bcs this video is fucking long as shit plus with me always pausing to write whatever nonsense i find funny? yea, idk if ill be able to get thru this all lmao 😭 but yea this will just be lil blurbs rewritten n commented on as i watch on one device and take notes on another like a lil movie major or smthin LMAO. To shorten typing time, Sauce will be SG and tat man will just be K as his real name is Kyle. ok? ok

SG, impatient & cocky, trying to show out 4 the stream like a little loser: ay cmon bruh im ready 😤!!🤘🏿 *goes to lay down on the jets styled?? tatting bed??? idk what that is i don't get tats.. i just know they probably fucked on it cus sauce winced when he had to sit down LMAO. went from ay bruh im ready to EUAGH 😫!! Eh 😣😖!! in a millisecond LMFAO*

K: *checks himself out on camera for a split second*

K: *very polite to the stream's viewing. Apparently has never streamed or got an audience up close n personal during his tat sessions. Only shows the before and after photos so this is a new but very fun experience for him. aww, so cute <3 sauce getting him to try new things!!!! He's nervous about getting the best angles for us and he's always trying his best to please!! ( he's so service top it's Mad. it's MADDENIN!!! ) Sauce dramatic diva demanding hot n s*x fierce reporter mean fake bitch and his quiet polite and personable yet professionally firm, keeping sauce in line when he needs to fulltime cameraman part time bodyguard when the situation gets unexpectedly (or expectedly. Not everyone has Tat man's insanely loyal patience with sauce...) hostile WHEN??? Slowburn We're just workers/he's just my minion to ........... don't ask why we came out of the same bathroom at the same time STFU ?? HELLO??? TAT MAN!!!*

Chat: cook up kyle

Kyle: !! :] !! yea 😺!! im boutta cook 🥰 (HE KEEPS GETTING SO SWEETLY HYPED UP FROM SAUCES LIL AUDIENCE. IT'S SO CUTE LOL)

1:05 (around there idk none of these time stamps will be any accurate bcs i pause late after realizing smthin was funny then guestimate where it started so sorry :( ): sauce walking his big b00bies up in our face jumpscare :/ . To help Kyle zoom the camera per his chats demands. He lowkey high key very anxious and micromanaging abt kyle using his camera equipment lol. He just loves telling people what to do but also that shit is probably very expensive. But cmon sauce. Kyle the cameraman's got it!!! HE EVEN HAS THE PERFECT CAMERAMAN NAME LIKE?? Let him take care of you bbygirl ..😼

Sauce once again (a bit more gingerly this time) sits himself on his jets style seat thing and let's out a little cry of pain when his ass hits it??? sauce these bttm allegations are BEATING ur ASS lmao????

Kyle does what sauce was about to do for him and sauce kinda :/// >:( 😰😰😠. Sauce try to go five seconds without micromanaging challenge impossible. Complains about chat being able to see his facial expressions being too close up now and how he won't be able to fuck with Kyle no more cus of it cus they'll make shit is weird. Kyle simply responds ' That's love 🙂. '

Sauce goads the chat asking if he should end stream. Kyle at first thinks maybe he isn't cameramanning right and gets a little nervous/sad at disappointing sauce but quickly catches onto the strategy and joins in on the bait. The chat take it with a chorus of Nos. Girlboss sauce malewife Tat man media powercouple ftw?

2:58, K: wait turn ur head a lil bit? *Sauce looks at him* no, other way *sauce looks away, exposing neck to him and pre-ink*

K admires his work. Shows it off to the chat, tells them he's getting them right. Zooms in on sauce's neck

SOMEBODY SAID 'L NIPPLE' IN THE CHAT WHAT???? Chat language is so.... beautiful 😭

'Stop being a lil girl take the pain like a man'????? Yall sure this is twitch and not p*rnhub ??? tf?

Kyle zooms in. Chat: "glad to get the nipple off the page" HELP. my thoughts exactly

Kyle tries hiding sauces face with his zooms bcs he knows sauce was self conscious about his expressions lmao. Chat, instantly, and these are different people too. Everyone is a sadist here apparently. My kinda people 😼: 'WE NEED TO SEE HIS FACE FR' 'HIS FACE BRO WE NEED TO SEE HIS FACE' 'WE NEED TO SEE HIS FACE IF HE CRIES'

3:38 Sauce, reading the chat bcs if he doesn't have attention that he can feel for five seconds he explodes and dies: is my face in there ? <- literally just whined about not wanting his face seen bcs he'd get weird comments and ruin his very heterosexual very platonic relationship with tat man. But is now turning his whole tune around for some shred of people pleasing attention omg 🙄 poo fimbly 😑

K: nah they be clownin 😿.. *just wants to protect him*

Sauce agrees a bit then quickly changes subject to compliment himself.

Sauce notices camera needs shifting so he tries but Kyle's on it before he can. Sauce keeps trying anyways until eventually the needles settle him slougish

5:10 chat tells them to zoom out but sauce defends his cameraman: AINT NO ZOOM OUT 😾😾!! HE TRYNA GIVE YOU THE UPCLOSE LOOKS !!

Kyle zooms out anyways

Sauce whines about his nipple lol

Sg: yall weird af 😑 Yall tryna see my nipple or smthin 🤨? *incredulous look to camera*

K: FREE THE NIP!!!!! <- reading off chat, sadly

THE CHAT BULLIED HIM INTO HIDING HIS BOOBS LMAO. He got a blanket 😭 so now he's gonna be with another man... while under a blanket ? um. sauce I think this is pretty lose lose if u ask me .

Kyle wearing those black tattoo gloves gently touching sauces neck.... soft dom and not even trying to hide it 🤨?

Chat: stop moaning 😐

Sauce: my bad bruh 😔

Someone: get the tissues ready (????)

Sg: in da trenches 😼. in da trenches 😼

Someone in chat: sauce do u like when men fuck u? ( 🤔.. it's a fair ask 😳.)

Chat: the right side of my neck hurted the most (average sauce fan iq, im afraid )

Chat: SAUCE BABY START TWERKING

( now im just finding funny chat stuff cus all sauce doing rn is trying to not cry by randomly singing along to the music and kyle is working)

Chat trying to plot lies on kyle by spamming kyle messed up smthin so sauce can get worried lmao

9:40: around there, maybe a bit later, sauce starts groaning and cursing more

Chat: Sauce is it hard

Sauce asks how many people watching bcs u know he looooves an audience. Kyle doesn't know how to check so he has to stop and ask the chat

Kyle: Seven- ..... 776? 800? a thousand? man idk :(. yall play too much >:( yall play too damn much 🙄! ... i fuck with yall tho >:)

Chat trying to gaslight sauce into thinking Kyle's actually tatting a dick on his neck

I've been skipping or doing other stuff during some of the tatting. Sauce got up to try and figure out some twitch function? Mic suppression? idk. He lowkey stalling lol.

Kyle starts asking what the chat been saying around 31:40, curious.

Sauce and Kyle mumble to songs internmentedly lol

33:25 around there kyle raps to a song he rlly likes. Sauce adlibs it's cute

PAUSING THIS AT 35:10. We basically got an hour left in this jawn. YALL WE WATCHED ALOT IM PROUD!!!! OK im leaving this here for now, reblogging l a ter maybe even finishing it idk? I just need this shit sent cus im a lil nervous if it'll even load... this was a lotta work 😭 all for tatman and sauce interactions damn... ion even know this man's last name .. i need to go do strong people things now BYE see yall soon hopefully

[evergreen-femme]

diarypost

why has my appearance always been, overwhelmingly probably, the main thing i've always been concerned about? it eats my brain and always has, and i can only recognize that i like myself as i exist *right now*, that i am finally pretty, sometimes. and yet ill look at pictures of my body from just 6 months to a year ago and think "what the fuck she was so hot what happened" every single time. and idk if this is some kind of mental programmimg error or loop or something because my mental architecture was developed in the complete absence of ever feeling even remotely good about how i looked. like it doesn't even know how to handle positive self-perception, much less process it and incorporate it into my self image. poor girl needed some positive body image and never once got it or thought she was worth anything. idk it feels like such an overwhelming need these days im crying just thinking about it

like literally that manga panel with the "if i can't be cute then what's even the point of living"... that feeling stretched out to infinity all the time

yeah im a girl but i feel like i only got to be a cute girl for like less than a year and that almost all happened during the really traumatic circumstances of me coming out. and the cute part was always mandatory for me. i feel like if i can't see myself as cute im going to die, but it just gets into my head that i transitioned on the cusp of my 30s and not my 20s and there so much socialization and fun and dressing up i missed and i feel like because of my age i have maybe a year or two of that left and even then i feel a bit too old for it.

like i was a huge nerd but more than that i was just the socially stunted outcast. i never even had friends close enough to invite over throughout my entire childhood. not one. i got to party a bit in college but i wasnt a fucking GIRL then so i stood around being *really really* bad at being a guy and hoping like. girls would notice my skin and how pale i was or something idk. obviously never happened. i got told by my roommate how badly i fumbled the possibility to be the "pimp of our dorm building" because i tried to join a female friend group. over and over he'd talk about it and he never fucking got that i just wanted to be one of them! i just wanted to wear dresses and get pretty together and feel cute and accepted and not on-guard for once. ofc it never got that far (god, god i wish it had my life would have been so much happier) bc of me. and my stupid sexuality. like i hooked up with this weird girl who hinted at doing bdsm with me (ofc it ended up with her wanting me to dom and nothing happening bc of that) but she told fucking everyone and i literally had started reading all this girl's writing to get to know her and writing bad poetry about her (ugh) but yea turns out she was cheating on her boyfriend back home ¯\_(ツ)_/¯¯\_(ツ)_/¯¯\_(ツ)_/¯ and just wanted to hook up and tell everyone the details (like lol he has a big cock but is submissive 🤢)

like over breakfast

and then poof nobody wants to be my friend anymore.

but anyway yea i just need to have that life that i never got in my 20s but all things are convalescing to make me believe that im too old for it and i'll have to live the rest of my life carrying that yawning absence with me

and its already so heavy at 31 i dont know how im going to be able to handle it as i get older

also worth noting that that was my first sexual experience ever.

#diaryposting #pls do not reblog

[420technoblazeit]

anyway masterlist of responses to ppl's random messages on this form

hunters grab ur salt or hwatever. call my blog the winchesters bc we're time traveling in this fuckin car

IS HTIS WHY MY POLLS KEEP GETTING WEIRDLY SKEWED. GOD. FINE ILL ADD A 'DID NOT WATCH SUPERNATURAL' OPTION

im about to write a fix it where htey bring back crowley bc everything the writer's team did post-his death made me so goddamn angry. he adn cas die in the same episode and theyre like teehee. the antichrist brought cas back but not him bc idk. cas is Special. adn then they dont let rowena resurrect him im so alskdhgsadgasdgsadglhaldga

oh fukc are there angel robots in this. i keep making posts about gabriel spn adn people mistake it for ultrakill mayb i WILL play htis

i cant explain but like. hte type of cat that's black and white but the black adn white kinda meld together yk what im saying? lik,e an oreo milkshake

i handed in two of my final assignmetns last night so hopefully soon! im hella behind in one of my classes htough so we'll see

ive stayed up till 3 about 3 times in hte last 5 days. one of htose was bc the spn season 1 finale was a two parter adn i forgot and wanted to get to hte part where they got hit by the truck, another was bc i got really into a session of apex legedns, and the third was bc i had a final assignmetn and pissed away the rest of the day spn postign so. i think ur right

hwy are you the coolest person here what the fukc. like omg what's ur numberrrrrrrrr

WOE, DISCREET SUPERNATURAL REFERENCE IN MY MINECRAFT SMP BE UPON YE. it's a good nickname htough c!aster uses nicknames all the time for ppl anyway lmao. we've already got old man for sleep, princey for lux, dog breath for kota, etc etc. it fits

so fuckign true broski n boy am i having a time. i bought a crowley print a couple weeks ago but hte shipping for a print was too much money so i just bought a bigass sticker adn ykw. it worked. i also found out htat the artist now draws apex legends so im winning here

holy shit wait is htis just. literally a copy of super smash bros fuck yeah ill play that what the hell. why didtn u tell me about this sooner

this was on hte submission for judas. um,,,,, ,,, yeas

no youer so right. somebody did send a drawign in the drawing box of like. their little furry oc with hearts saying 'kys' adn i laughed so fucking hard at it. i didtn post it bc i wasnt sure if they were serious or not, i assume htey werent considering how cutesy it was but uh. yeha

sedn it to me im srs. i used to be hte biggest sabriel shipper back in the day before my brain apparently decided that angsty drowley shippign is superior. i love gabe though he's my fave

also im not puttign it here but someone sent a monologue? from somethign called fictional googology???? ??

LISTEN BITHC. WHEN QSMP GET'S HTE LORE ROLLING ILL DO IT. OR MAYBE GO TAKE A LOOK AT MY FUCKIGN BLOCK PEOPLE U EVER HTINK ABOUT THAT??? ?? anwyay im gonna b on wynne's vault hunters server u should go check them out n give them a follow theyre really cool

jesus fucking hcirst. u might as well just shoot me in hte leg dog

#the pig squeals #long post #spn spoilers

[lusciouslii]

actually yknow what forget that, my kink blog ill post whatever little thoughts i want. even if im just yelling into the void at least i get to yell!

longer rant incoming bc im tired and want this out of my system!!

-

so i met this guy on feabie and immediately it was super exciting because we go to the same college!!

hes also super fucking hot which was its own weird thing bc ive really never experienced like physical sexual attraction so that was weird. but yeah dude looks good and he has a nice voice so thats already not helping me

we’ve met up a couple times now, once to sorta test the waters, once just to cuddle in my room???? which looking back it was at that point i was straight up fucked because as someone who had recently gotten out of a bad relationship in which all my needs and emotions had been completely neglected, having that kind of sweet and affectionate intimacy?? all while my chubby body is being praised and adored??? never once had that in my LIFE.

the other few times has been pretty lowkey too. we did do a feeding session once but i got sick and it was the most humiliating thing. but he was so nice and caring and we continued to talk afterwards so i just try not to think about it anymore lol

we didnt talk much over the summer since i had to go back home across the country, but he reached out a few times and i was like damn ok im still of interest to him

this semester started great because i planted the seed (aka posted a pic showing i was back over here) knowing he would probably see it and if he’d say anything, and he fucking did he reached out and was excited i was back and wanted to meet up soon. schedules were a little rough but eventually we did!

i felt extra happy because it was sort if spur of the moment decision and he was moving back an online hangout he’d been planning with friends for a couple weeks. so i was like omg he really wants to see me even if only for a little bit thats so nice

and now that we have several months ahead of us we started talking about doing more of a feeder/feedee setup and things like that and im, obviously, super into the idea, and he seemed super into it too!! the dirty things he said to me that night!!!! not fair!!!!!!!

i sent pics later that night bc we talked about it and he said he’d “return the favor” lol but the. like. i sent them and he didn’t say anything until i posted a pic to feabie 🙃 and he was like oh sorry i completely missed your text! which like alright, and he asked me how i was doing and blah blah brief smalltalk

i asked if he wanted to meet up again soon and he said “Yea I’d be down, I gotta see what’s going on tho / need to play it by ear”

now heres where i get all introspective because to me, i dont see why we couldnt just schedule something in the future. unless, that is, hes trying to keep his schedule open for other stuff. i can get that to a certain degree, and i have to like. really ponder on it because i dont want to be some clingy needy girl who is fawning after a guy im not even dating, but its like….idk it makes me feel kinda sad? that im not enough of a priority to want to pick a set day to do something? so idk how to feel about that exactly

anyways i tried asking again some days later and he wasnt free, no surprise, usually when we do something its sorta this impulsive last minute thing, which again like. sorta plays into that whole im not really a priority unless idk youre horny or something

but its weird cause it seems like he does care and does want more than just horny shenanigans? we havent had sex yet and have only even had one actual feeding session. soooo worlds most patient fuckboy if thats the case but i just really dont get those vibes

but also im gullible and see the best in people i care about and thats how i got fucked over in my last relationship

im just feeling pretty sad about the whole thing right now because we talked about doing all these things and i really want that but hes so uncommunicative and im afraid of being obsessive. again, might be on me too because im going in thinking maybe theres a chance to do more

but then again even if there isnt thats FINE i just want to do SOMETHING lmao

so now im just left wanting and thinking about him a lot and oh yeah need i remind WE GO TO THE SAME SCHOOL WHY CANT WE JUST MEET UP CASUALLY ONE AFTERNOON 😭

idk but im afraid of maybe ruining the best relationship ive formed in this kink after figuring out what i wanted from it. god even now im just like “youre thinking too hard about this it doesnt matter that much, youre supposed to be flexible and chill and just go with the flow cause its just a little side thing” but welp. my brain is noisy and i dont have a good outlet. another problem of not having friends in this kink but im not good at responding to people which online is the only way to talk to people and now im just rambling

anyways ending this here and hoping he’ll reach out eventually cause boy does the heart yearn 🥲🥲🥲

#also WOW i pray he doesnt somehow find this #he doesnt have my tumblr #but it wouldnt be too hard to figure out from what he does have

[dilxcs]

wifey <333 for the ask game: sage, chamomile and palm tree 🥺

xhdbsns thank you for indulging me wifey ilysm 🥺🤍

sage - “what ‘medium’ of art (poetry, music, fiction, paintings, statues etc.) is the most touching to you? why do you think that is?”

oehh this one is rlly interesting! for me it’s either music or paintings, mainly bcs you don’t have to be good at a certain language to understand the meaning of both of these art mediums. like with music for example, even if you don’t know what the lyrics mean, you can still grasp some kind of idea what the song is about by the melody and beats. it also gives you the chance to create your own meaning behind the song bcs of the way you chose to interpret it!

same goes for paintings, although some of us may find it difficult to find any meaning behind a painting, saying stuff like ‘i’ve never studied art and i only see lines’. well that may be true, i’d like to think about the bigger picture or more like what the artist wants to convey and how i interpret it myself. for example one of my fave painter is Van Gogh and when i went to the Van Gogh museum I felt fascinated but also sad to see his art process throughout the years. like at the beginning stages he used so much colors and his art pieces were vibrant and lively, but then as the years go by and he’s struggling with his mental illness and just life in general you see it reflect in his work. from being lively and colorful to gloomy and dark and idk that always got stuck with me until this day

chamomile - “what kind of things do you like receiving as gifts?”

hehehe as you may know by now, i rather gift others something than receiving. it’s not that i don’t appreciate the gesture, i just feel extremely guilty and i can’t help but think ‘why would they spend money and time on me?’. but yea, let’s not get all sentimental now hehe. the thing i do love to receive are either flowers (especially when someone points out why they picked the flowers they gift me) or a letter (be it handwritten or typed out).

i just love the idea that someone took the time to write out anything they have in mind on paper and entrust to give it to me to read. the act of writing a letter for someone is so pure and touching to me, it never cease to make me feel loved. fun fact: i made all my friends write me a letter for my bday two years ago, knowing that they don’t like to write out their thoughts, but the fact that they still did made me bawl my eyes out. one of my friends made a whole booklet with lil doodles and the other typed out his letter on an old typing machine 🥺

palm tree - “do you have a fictional villain you shouldn’t like but love regardless?”

hmm,,, i usually don’t fall for the villains. not by choice, but it just doesn’t happen often so i had to think about this one dhdvdn 🤔 i think maybe getō? technically he’s a villain right? although he did some real fucked up shit, i also feel for him and the kind of weight he put on himself mentally to the point of losing himself and his initial morals. he just has a special place in my heart + he’s hot 🥴

#these were so fun to answer hcbdn #and sorry for the long ass answers lmaoo #got a bit carried away hehe #senn.plays🍙 #my beloved wifey 💍

[zaustavitezemlju]

i need ta rant and i dont wanna go bother my friends. so why not add to my digital footprint lets go future employers if you find this enjoy

uh. cw for like. talk abt slurs/racism(?)/homophobia nd transphobia (kinda)

i keep loosing my friends cuz theyre all saying stupid shit. not dropping names but lets say his name is tincan. so tincan and I have been feiends for like 3-4 yrs now and hes a great dude. bit weird soemtimws but hes silly and were on the same wavelength roughly. well imagine my surprise qhere one day in class he just randomly says the n word and stafts cackling like irs so funny!!!!! (hes white btw.) yes king racial slurs are mx FAVORITE form of comedy 😍😍😍 and so ofc i turn to him and im like. tincan that isnt ok what. and he goes dwdw i have the pass ........,........ i think that speaks for itself. and so i go ok. this dudes weird! and i will probably not be talking to him anymore!! but then we have like break right. two weeks and im travelling. out of NOWHERE.DEADASS NOWHERE WE HADMT TWXTED IN AGES. this man sends me a fucking DICK PIC. WITH RHE FUCKING CAPTION OF "i gotchu man since you like dick" NOT OUT OF NOWHERE YOU DRIED LIZARD. and i also didnt have data so i couldnt even reply for ages and it was horrible. and ofc i reply like tincan. what the actual fuck. AND THIS MF GOES "mb i thought you liked dick" LIKE HE WAS DOING ME A FAVOR OR SOME SHIT. so i get PISSEDDD. and i contemplate blocking him and im like youve changed fast af and hes like well what have i done other than send that pic. I DUNNO. SAID THE N WORD? SAID THE F SLUR TO. MY. FACE. AND LAUGHED IT OFF? AGREED WHEN ONE KF YOUR FRIWNDS WAS BEING TRANSPHOBIC TO ME INFRONT OF ME EVEN THOUGH YOUVE PREACHED SO MUCH ABOUT HOW YOUD NEVER STAND FOR THAT???? and then tincan was like ohh okk im sorry ill change for you. idk why he added for you it was weird and creepy and icky. sigh idk what to do tho bc like i dont want to completely push him away bc he is a valuable person to have for like general school matters. but i also do NOT want to be friwnds w someone like that. im just emotionally distancing myswlf for now like im not talking abt personal shit w him and im being more like surface level in convos

hes not rhe knly one tho like my closest friwnd rn is also kind of jumping on the bandwagon. he was talking abt rhis guy who he calls sometimws online and like plays games with (minecraft n shi) and he was like "oh yea he says the n word but its funny because hes british" (yea the guys white ofc (the online guy))and then proceeds to show me a clip of this guy saying the n word while theyre on voice chat while barely managing to hold his laughter. how is this funny im sorry huh? and i just like nodded or whatever cuz i was utterly dumbfounded that he would ever like even find something as stupid and uncreative as that funny. like........... 😧

anyway. i texted him and i was like yo just warning you i dont like the direction youre changing in and if i hear you say the n word we arent chill anymore bc its way too many ppl now. like be so real

what is so funny abt a racial slur. ill never know!!!!!

[nathank77]

4/16/24

3:17 p.m Edited 3:44 p.m

Well If that Xanax was a placebo it knocked me on my ass. I told myself Left and right it was a placebo and there was no way it would work....

And christ I took it at like 4:15, was fighting my eyes by 5:25 and closed my eyes at 5:32 must have passed out by 6 a.m the latest. I mean I remember like 5 minutes of laying there and thinking and listening to King of The Hill.

I woke up at approximately 11:50 a.m..... I wanted to fall back to sleep but I was like if I sleep through this appt it's never going to be off my list of things to do. I must have gotten like 5 or 6 hours...

And funny thing is Disability didn't call me.... I called them and they patched me through they had my whole number correct, even on my paperwork..... but they were dialing 203 instead of 860 🙄🙄🙄

Who knows why that happened. My dad either isn't approved yet or they haven't received information that he has started receiving payment... but he put me on his Disability documents as a disabled minor which makes me happy. He wants me to get what I'm entitled to..

I am now protected as they put in a close out, for 6 months. I might be entitled to 12 months of back pay depending on if he gets approved... they wouldn't tell me when he applied but the close out protects me for 6 months. I might have to call in 6 months.

If he gets approved in the next 6 months, I'll get a letter saying he did and we need to file an application. So I mean it feels a little pointless bc he isn't approved yet or they don't have the information yet but the close out protects me so that isn't worthless.

If it's a year I get almost 6k! I mean idk when he filed. I'm just glad he put me as a disabled minor. He totally knows I'm on disability and he still loves me. Even though we never talked about it.

I just need to call Disability frequently and ask.. and wait for the close out. I could ask my Dad but I don't want to bc I don't want to call him about money. I want to call him and connect with him. Idc about the money. I'm never going to ask about his Disability status. Ever. But yea it wasn't a complete waste.

Anyways now I'm at my emissions test. Hopefully this is quick bc I have Quest at 4:40... I want to stop at My Eye Doctor in Torrington and check out the glasses with my extra time and check out the frames and the cost of just lenses in a frame I already have. They are one of the only places that clean their glasses after customers put them on......

My actual Eye Doctor office doesn't... nor does another local place. And I don't want to create a big stink but I expect them to do it... bjs does...

If I have the time after that I guess I'll call a few glasses places nearby and get estimates on lense replacements... before Quest. Then everything shuts down lol

My ent called me and they got all my records so that's done! FINALLY!

I wish I could wake up early everyday I got scheduled for my dentist appt for the end of May.. and I got my ultrasound rescheduled to April 30th at 4 p.m.. I said politely the time absolutely does matter unfortunately. I cannot do earlier than 4 p.m.

After quest I got to go to Walmart and stop and shop.... I'm scared to go to Walmart bc I need waters and I tried to call Dan today cause I had so much time and Steve the cunt picked up as the only manger on staff. I just asked when Dan would be in and said I'd call back...

I'm going to try to get waters and if they kick me out. That's fucked but I won't be considered gravely ill thats for sure.

They called me for my mri for my arm. They are doing a 30 day appeal instead of an expedited one... but that's in the works... I have a feeling they won't approve it.

My HSV2 test still hasn't come back... it's been a week. I got there late and they said it had to sit out for 30 minutes... part of me thinks they didn't leave it out for 30 minutes bc of the time I got there and they can't do the test..... I got to say something to Quest today when I go in... cause a week is overkill... I'll be there on time today.

The month of May is filling up with doctors appts already... and I called my endo about tepezza and pushing through the ambulatory order so I can see the doctor sooner than September. I told them about my heart palpitations... and the er and Quest today... I also haven't started that Atorvastatin but I didn't tell them that. I'll start it eventually but I don't want to.... for a while... bc of the muscle spasms.. but eventually I will. I'm still on CoQ10.

The Xanax is kicking my ass, I still feel it. If it's a placebo and knowing it's a placebo doesn't matter it's fucking powerful, thats all I got to say.

If I didn't have circadian rhythm disorder, I could accomplish 90% of my to-do list in 3 days. It's ridiculous. I just wish I wasn't so fucking tired.

I'm glad I forced myself awake.. Even if I feel dead.

[frostbite-the-bat]

goofy ass ms paint werewolf eating a mango as a divider between the rant under this bc i do not wish to be precieved rn but i still wanna rant some thoughts out

random lovely guzma urge to delyeet everythin on myne site bc not only did i make it for petz things back when i was active between petz folks and got some encouragement there and ended up never finishing petz things for it, but i also feel horrible and uncommited for it being hosted and made on weebly and for bein too lazy to yeet my shit over to neocities just cause that shit gives me a headache and instead of getting inspired by people i feel jealous and unwelcome

also been working on my sleep schedule its a bit better now and im like. better in general now..? idk how long i can keep this up but getting up early makes me just. so tired like all day urgh i do not understand how i used to keep myself up when this tired. tired tired. brain empty. hard to do shit for long. defo needs more breaks but i swear to god everything feels like its frying my brain but i got nothin to do indoors. guess i can go draw traditionall but i end up putting such high expectations on myself i just yeah. fuck it up. get stressed. not fun. i need to stop thinking about others bc i keep thinking i put effort into smthn i need to show it off.like if i wasted time here i might as well. no this isnt showable it sucks damn it

even stuff i do draw purely for myself as self indulgent shit i go urhh this aint right

oh and then i try doin a lil excercise so im not like. physically diyng but my god that tires me out like instantly. but its okay, baby steps.

dont know what sort of place i am in mentally. the type id prolly spiral a bit over if it werent nice and 2 pm. wacky stuff. i wanna maybe do some stuff but ugh my brain just. isnt big thoughts when im tired. but honestly when am i not tired. and i am getting art done but i cant get myself to draw all day again ill end up in pain again my hand rn already is being a bit of a bitch

uhhh played pokemon in the morning but i need better pokemon already. i fuck up every raid (raids i need so i can get better mons easier) (and my shiny ralts i want easier)

hmm maybe i need a break from stuff but what kinda break what even is relaxing in my case? and "break from people" is a slippery slope of self isolation i always slip into. bit difficult to figure myself out

also, different thing, but ive been considering this for a good few months now and kinda ignoring it but i read one (1) thing and i m intrigued to do more n more research now but man do not like how moral ocd clicks perfectly with a lot of my most common issues . so i guess thats a thing to consider going into (like research) . if it helps .bc dear god i am Sensitive

but uhmmm yea sleeping better now ig like i went to sleep around ONE. my usual sleep time was 5-6 am a while ago !!!!!!! 1 am has always been my kinda usual time. man and i used to do that even when i had school and i *functioned* with less sleep. how did i do that. uhm. not well i guess

but yeah. things.. arent feeling right and i kinda wanna wipe my brain. also the neocities thing seems to be a part of my issue of (ppl who dont care abt me) r gonna thingk i suck bc i dont do (this that i find difficult) (coding) i will be exploded forever and shunned andhated

uhmmm what else yea last thought i forgot as i was gonna type it and the last thing i am deciding not to share anyway bc Shame so hooray

guy who is eeypy tired

i am just realizing how like tired i am but if i go nap ill make it worse so uhmm cope i guess lmfao at least it keeps me going to sleep at a more regular hour but like srsly brain we got around 8 hours of sleep why are you tired we used to get less and function fine. maybe not as good but we functioned

#vent #rant #??? i dont know im not feeling emotional currently. putting myself and my thoughts under #a microscope i suppose #keeping reblogs on incase i wanna add to this but i swear to god if anyone #rbs my personal vent post again bc of an image attached #i dont care i will block you

[fr3akinthecorner]

100 guns 100 clips fuck your brother nigga hey u like uzzy snubbz? yes he's cool well he likes your playlists! that's good i'm glad he likes them why do u type so slow? i have weak hands no u don't! ur phone is just heavy! hey do u like eboy content? yes why? you're good at it! thx so are u omg u know who this is? yes who? the chinese guy with the buzz cut! yes me! u have a crush on me? yes i do well i can take u to china i know but it's gonna take time but at least i have something to do for the years ahead i need like 2 years dude what?! it's keeho u can't go to china well then he can come here how long? 3 years omg hahaha! ok fine lol sorry but i need to lose weight from my stomach mt st helens lol what? i like him yes she does like me! are u tired? no i slept how long? like 4 hours oh ok you're good um ok thank u i can't play the playlist game rn it's hard just play! were having fun! ok ill tell u when i start omg ok so why aren't i high? idk um u need to focus thx good advice i guess ok so like i can't write my diary on twitter it's too hard im just gonna use tumblr btw the meth is good it's just my body is making me sober feeled it sucks well just wait i know hahaha ok so i like posting on twitter more tho this sucks but i love that i don't only have to talk to keeho he's really annoying sometimes well he is your daddy! possibly... i don't look like him yes u do! no only sometimes i think he did something to change the way i look do u like the way u look? no i don't and its not body dismorphia its my thick face what?! your face is not thick today it is! well just deal with it baby ok bb i love you ily 2 omg you're so shy! yea so what? it's ok she's coming home tonight it's keeho you are fucking crazy like there is something wrong with you keeho why?! you're a dreamer i'm more logical we could never work out so im staying home for now and yes im keeping my cashapp card i know u don't want me to have money what?! no you're not keeping it! omg hahaha you're right he is kind of crazy he's a psycho but like i feel better after laurel ridge wtf?! i know hahaha but it did help me but im on vacation from the manga prob for a couple months idk man are u mad about it? no im not bc i have spotify now and netflix im not into manga that's why i'm married to ellsworth kelly to live outside of the manga it's better for me but i thought that you didn't love him? if he's south korean then i love him we have to go! bye!

#keeho

[strawberryseeded]

ok more thoughts (tbh just typing out stuff until it makes sense) abt the wwdits finale cos i was kind of out of it/frustrated whn i made the last post lol ^^;

literally everything, EVERYTHING until now indicated that nandor didnt give a fuck about guillermo and he was gonna 100% kill him, actually, literally, for having another vampire turn him, since this is a HUGE disrespect towards him in the vampire world. and ill be honest we as the audience kind of know already that nandor does care abt guillermo... but we also know that nandor isnt really aware of this, and thats hes pretty selfish and proud (and also an idiot). so yeah, hes very well capable of killing guillermo tbh!! but he doesnt!!!!

instead, he tells guillermo hes too important for him to do that, and that hell be sad if he dies! AND he even helps him turn completely by giving him human blood. unusually quick to catch on to what the problem was, i might add. as if he had taken guillermo's vampire hunter's blood and how it would affect turning him into consideration before. AND when he realizes that guillermo is unhappy he not only -as i said before- is the 1st one to notice, but he IMMEDIATLY cooks up a plan to help him revert the process. a GOOD one (wtf) and again, very quickly too, as if he was expecting this turn of events. HECK HE EVEN SAYS THAT EXACTLY he says that he suspected/feared that guillermo wasnt 'cut out' to be a vampire, which i think is something that has come up before in the show but in context im sure we all brushed off as a mere excuse for not turning him, since thats just the reality for familiars in this universe.

in the end, they go back to how things were b4 guillermo was bitten. everything goes back to normal… right? right, except we as the audience have a different perspective on things.

again, we kind of knew that the vampire clique(?) uh yea idk sorry im calling them that rn lol) kinda, sorta, cares about guillermo. maybe. well, now its... somewhat? confirmed, via the guide subplot that vamps are assholes to others bc they just hv a vampire way of expressing things. then again, this whole thing was towards another vampire, and until the last episode they dont see guillermo as a (true) vampire.

so like okay whats these two (guillermo and nandor)'s deal then

ok so this is the first time i actually think abt this sorry im slow lol.. until now ive been just seeing things unfold and just kind of paying attention to some details or other's ppls opinions. BUT NOW(?) i can actually SEE (kinda) whats goin on !!!!! i have some Personal Opinions & Feelings after the s5 finale

clearly theres the plot embryo structure at play here, and i think i now understand guillermo's arc a lot better.

theres something he wants, somethings he's always wanted: to become a vampire. for some LONG 4ss time now hes been very frustrated bc his master doesnt seem to have plans for turning him any time soon. hes growing anxious bc of this but we know thats not the only reason; he clearly thinks the vampires in the house dont value him, dont see him as an equal. he thinks nandor doesnt care about him. and hes not entirely wrong, tbh.

the "final" decision to ask derek to turn him comes from mostly these feelings of being inadequate, of feeling like hes the only one who actually cares (about guillermo himself. about what he wants. about him and nandor's apparently dead end relationship)

so he gets sick of waiting, and he just goes to get what he always wanted by his own means.

and regrets it completely. so much so that at the end he makes the decision to turn back.

so... what it is what he truly wants, then? or, better yet, what does he need? his true wish. why did he want to become a vampire this whole time? what is he after?

in the last ep is also revealed that (apparently?? idk im gonna need a bit more context) its guillermo who choose nandor as his master. or at least, he genuinely thought nandor was a really good choice. the best even. he admires him, wants to be like him. wants to be near him.

guillermo probably admires the vampire's lifestyle more than being a vampire itself. he has a very supportive family but they are also... vampire hunters, so its clear they dont like vampires, and probably disagree with their lifestyle for that same reason, which obviously ties together with it being a religious family and also the fact that guillermo's sexuality is pretty obviously closeted.

ok im gonna leave it there i think the conclusion its p obvious at this point

but what about nandor??? welllll ok i think i got it but lemme try to figure it out entirely?

i think nandor's most important arc until now was... kind of the opposite but also the same as guillermo's. he tried to become human.

the reason he did this was bc he felt lonely as a vampire. yea being a vampire is cool as fuck but its kind of isolating in a way too when youve got no one to share it with. im not gonna go super in depth talking abt this bc 1) i saw this season whn it came out n havnt rewatched it since n dont wanna misquote anything -.-;; and 2) i think the meaning its also pretty self explainatory. im literally describing it and you can already tell what everything means. of course its guillermo who goes to get nandor back to tell him that thats not who he is.

ok moving on. nandor is p much still alone in the romantic/lifetime partner sense. he alredy tried changing who he is to get a partner (or at least, to have a place where he doesnt feel as lonely) and that didnt make him happy. NEXT, with the help of the genie (sorry idk if thats how u write it eng is not my 1st lang im lazy etc) he tried, on the contrary, to change all his partnerts to the point they werent themselves anymore to accomodate his needs and whims. he tried to find the "perfect" partner, one that did everything he wanted, exactly. well, surprise, that didnt work out either. that didnt make him (or anyone) happy.

at this point i think its p obvious that he needs to compromise with other people. hes too self absorbed, too focused on what he wants as an end goal and doesnt truly see who his partners are as people. for him, they just serve as a role, they just exist to feel this void he has, this loneliness.

woooow guillermo's and nandor's issues are way more similar than what i thought!!!!!!!!!!!wooooooooooow using my brain worked u guysss ^^

#di4ry #wwdits #wwdits s5

[tflaw]

AVAAAA omg i am very sorry i havent been in tumblr for a while bc i was rlly ... on the grind for raiden doing hidden quests n all that :// and i managed to farm a WHOPPING 20 pulls 😀 so yea ... ya girl finally got welkin now too n ngl im scared of losing the 50/50 but fuck it we ball !!

+ aaa since shenhe might unfortunately be jailed in their basement again i wanna pull for yelan :(( as much as i love hutao and xiao .. i cant pull off their playstyles at all 💔 but i dont think ill get too ambitious ADMKA raiden is coming but tbh if i do lose on her banner i'll just save it for yelan n build keqing instead .. yea sounds like a pretty good idea BUT HYV BETTER NOT JINX IT I WANT THEM BOTH

+ windtrace got me reaaally scared as well tbh 😭 i dont like co-op events at all it rlly makes my anxiety spike up for some reason .. i hope youre coping well w it though im pretty sure u were having a hard time w it 💔

+ and omg youre reading bsd :0 i havent read the light novels but the anime was rlly good too though hihi AND U LIKE MY BRO RANPO ??? i love him too he's just like me fr !! the moment i saw that man slacking while eating an ungodly amount of sweets i just went "i am you. and you are me" 💀 but yes omg ranpo's amazing he's soooo interesting AND FYODOR TOO GAWD u have taste ava i love ur taste u get me !! i rlly should read bsd as well bc i was an anime only :(( i miss them fr :((

+ and lastly, happy holidays ava !! i hope u enjoy christmas hihi i dont celebrate it but i still wanna send some good vibes by saying that im so, so grateful for meeting u <33 i love u sm ava i wish u all the best these remaining days of 2022 ♥️

AI MY LOVE MY BELOVED !! i really wish u get raiden :(( hyv should give u raiden !! she’s rly easy to build and so powerful i love love love her !! i’ve managed to grind at least 10 wishes . pulled . got c3 gorou . :))))))) no faruzan cons. i give up on kuni’s banner 😭

+ AYE im having second thoughts abt hu tao, too!! bcos fyodor . and ayato . same VAs im gonna go insane. and ayato can be a good support for ayaka if i build him right. but hu tao <//3 i’ve been wanting her since i first started playing. maybe i’ll get ayato next time. idk im so . sighs. i WANT ayato too 😭 shenhe might have a rerun after hu tao… i’m praying… i need her…

+ OH MY GOD windtrace. i rmb now why i hate this event 😭 the first game we were at the fatui camp near the jadeplume terrorshroom. i disguised as a box and nilou was the hunter. THANKFULLY the hunter didn’t catch any of us my heart was gonna burst 😭 and then the next we were at byako plain . i panic and transformed into the wooden barrel near the water stream. idk what’s happening at first bcos i can see the other rebel from where i’m at— they were using sayu. they were standing there with the npcs and the apparently the hunter just couldn’t see them? and then the childe one transformed to a chair . the hunter chased them every where and to the roof. i was the only remaining rebel after the game. pretty fun!!

+ i read then i decided to just watch !! IM ON SEASON 3 RN and halfway thru!! im so excited to meet the rest of the villains . this anime rly proves if villain why sexy. everyone is attractive . god. pls. I KNEW ID LIKE HIM !! ive seen photos of him before and he seems interesting as well as cool . i love him a lot :,)) he and fyodor . ai when i heard fyodor’s voice PLS i was ready to risk it all. HE HAS THE SAME VA AS AYATO. and u know how i feel abt ayato. i love him a whole lot i wanna give him babies.

+ i love you, too, ai!! happy holidays and i hope u and the rest of ur family are safe <33 m so grateful of meeting u and having to be ur friend :,)) i hope we can meet someday hihi ^^ i love u sm, too !! mwah !! mwah !!

#xoxo: ai. #✉️: hotmail.

[lesbian-roguefort]

i am going deranged and sick in the head. roguefort has VIOLENTLY shoved my oc brainrot away and now i have Mental Illness,, please consider that in the context of my thoughts on them,,, the phantom raven costume is rougefort at their highest. absorbed in the fame, being the shining beacon of the party and charming all with a glance. stealing jewels and hearts and being completely absorbed in it. i would pull out the lines and such but i,,, Don't have the costume and they aren't on the wiki so. but yeah you can tell they're living their best life [their fursuit order of their birdsona came thru guys /j] in contrast, pursuit of lost time is their absolute lowest point. [opens crob and realizes i forgot to do my dailies] FUCK. anyways, a lot of their lines are far more blunt ["i am pursuing an heirloom watch", "changing the past will not change the present", "my household's heirlooms require no authentification", etc]. hell. some of them even sound manic/desperate, ["your time is in my hands!", "i must check something once i find that watch"]. they still have some more charming lines but, hey, it's rougefort, of course they're trying to keep up appearances. and,,, the question rises,,, why didn't they ever go after the watch before, even if they're implied to have been phantom bleu for a fair while before this??? if anything, that would be one of the first things they chased down. that's why i think they must have had SOME break, realizing how lonely they are and will be if things stay this way spiraling into a huge breakdown and then DESPERATION, beleiving they are unable to claw themself out of the mess phantom bleu has left them in. so off they go, with a grandios change of outfit *and* modus operendai idk just some thoughts. it popped into my head and i think the contrast is,,, Interesting.

OKOK I FINALLY HAVE THE TIME AND ENERGY TO RESPOND TO THIS ASK !!!! HELLO!!!!!!!

FIRST OF ALL you are so positively absolutely CORRECT about roguefort's costumes being them at their highest and lowest points!!!! i was actually doing that thing where i walk around my house talking to myself earlier and i started thinking about this ask and went ballistic

phantom raven IS them absorbed in the euphoria of their performance. theyre so caught up in the glamour and the beauty of it all, so tangled in their desire to charm others, to make a big impression. it's intoxicating, addicting to them. and they LOVE IT. those precious moments before they take off the disguise and are forced to cede it all, all the connection, all the charmed, enamored love, all that energy replaced by conflicting admiration, shock, love for the performance and the character but hatred for the actor... mwah yea i love it

and pursuit of lost time is just so COMPLETELY fucked up like that's a whole other BALLPARK of fucked up shit bro. you make a lot of REALLYYYYY GOOD observations with their tone that i had not noticed beforehand. all of which you are exactly right about. so triple props to you on that. i think that to answer your question on why they didnt go after the watch sooner. i was actually studying into this a while back (not using directly canon content, but just my own observations) and i think they just slowly succumbed to their lonely fate. over time that realization that they're going to be alone forever just rots worse and worse, until they hit a breaking point and become desperate for their old life back. keeping that mask up the whole time. and then the watch gets auctioned away and they snap. so very similar to you!!! i especially liked what you said abt "believing they are unable to claw themself out of the mess phantom bleu has left them in." bc yea!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

so fucking insane i love this cookie the cheese

#hat answers #hat posts about cr #skybristle #LOVE THIS COOKIE.................. SO MUCH!!!!!

[rotshop]

Hey go for that self indulgent white Hank thing! Absolutely go for it! Have fun! -Echo

weeps and sobs and beats the ground with my fists okaye ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, using ur ask to post it bc imm sick and twisted liek that </3 just hcs 4 now ill probably maybe dependingly post a fic for it another time idk we'll see ,,,,,

-

-you two have a weird relationship. 2 others at least. people look at you and just kinda. stare a little bc they cannot at all tell what the relation to each other even is. even wank's teammates just kinda :eyes: because there's just?? so much vague tension between the two of you???

-seeing as pank is the main antag (i think ,,, if not then shhhh), you're probably just some spectator of sorts. pank calls on you every now and then for some sort of help, either bc you owe him a favor or in return for something, and that's when you two first meet.

-you'd actually managed to catch her off guard, finally showing yourself when she had her back turned to you. she can't help but just. stare a little while she looks up at you. you having her pinned to the ground with your blade at her throat and a foot on her stomach to keep her down. you know logically that your best move would be to just go ahead and take a chop at her neck but...you just can't bring yourself to, something tugging at the back of your mind in curiosity and telling you not to. so, with a little hum of finality, you pull away before vanishing into thin air once more.

-she thinks abt that interaction a lot. at first she just brushes it off as her just making note of you in case you pop up again, just so she can put up more of a fight this time around, of course. but,,,those motivations get cloudy very quickly.

-anyway. she's VERY curious abt you. she's never seen an employer before and so she just kinda. stares and watches you a lot. it freaks you out a little, esp considering she's still relatively quiet and tends to zone out a little whenever she does. whenever you show her any abilities of yours she goes all starry eyed and asks you how u do it ,,, she just thinks !!! it is neat :) ur shapeshifting abilities r rlly fun to her in particular, sometimes you tower over her easily and she'll rest her head on your shoulder, othertimes you're just below her chest in height and she'll have to pick you up and carry you around.

-also based on my dumb little cold blooded employers hc, she is both good and bad at it. like. ok. so. the first time you explain it to her and she notices ur kinda .. off , she goes into worry mode and just grabs every blanket or coat she can find to give to you so you can stay warm. keeps checking up on you and trying to ask you if ur comfortable and ok, buut ur usually conked the fuck out already so it doesn't rlly work ,, lol ,, she tends to KINDA pay attention to the cameras and monitors you've got set up a little but it's mostly just out of curiousity (which has lead to her sometimes lookig for her teammates just so she can find em and go 'hey im gonna be with my s/o for a little while ok byeeee <333' with no explanation. they have never heard of you before and have no clue what's going on.)

-after her own magnification she's a lot more affectionate w/ you which. considering she already WAS affectionate ,,, yea. you'll be doing ur think keeping an eye on all the monitors and she'll just kinda. walk in and start pestering you. y'know how cats will paw and meow at you until you pay attention to them??? she does that to you. at first she's just kinda laying her head on your shoulder as she leans way over you, nudges u a lil every now and then but that's rlly it. then she's grabbing your hands to mess with your claws and paw pads. then she's attempting to crawl on top of you to sit on your lap which is making it impossible to see any of the screens past her <3 you can't be mad because she just nudges you again and makes some broken little trill sound as best as she can ,,,

-u two kinda live together but also kinda don't???? like. officially she lives w/ her team at their base but rlly she lives with u at urs lmao. she sleeps there most nights and if she isn't either at her own base or on a mission then chances are she's there w/ you. it's become such a normal sight that nobody even rlly flinches at it anymore, there's still a lot of confusion on WHY she's there exactly but. she sure is !! first agent of yours who knocked on your door in the morning only to be met w/ the sight of your 8ft tall gf was fucking TERRIFIED

-you two still try and keep it more on the down low even if it's pretty obvious. leaves lots of room for little fights where you two are careful not to seriously injure each other, sending little glances and grins here and there that only you two will ever truly know the meaning of. you two make little bets of who wins these little fights of yours, currently ur in the lead because you found out her weak point is freezing up whenever she hears you giggle / snicker a little. anyway please consider cupping the side of her face while she has a kinfe embedded into the wall right next to your head.

-(while you are quite literally inches away from making out w/ wank, pank voice in the background) this is heterosexual behavior i promise .

#(p4nk voice) ahahaaa aud s/o you are embarassing me in front of my rival please stop kissing each other during these fights i literally #hired you as an assassin and you went and did this and im still not fucking over it like i just dont get it and now you're doing this right #in front of the camera. #white hank x reader #madcom imagines #madcom x reader #madness combat imagines #madness combat x reader #rot writes

[batarangsoundsdumb]

guess fucking what? my inbox is so fucking full right now i'm unloading all of this shit in one post.

For the 11th gotham memes: gothamites react to bruce being jacked in a tiktok he made with kids, like super yoked, ripped as hell

fucking hilarious thanks. i think i did it in one meme post, but i genuinely don't remember which one

i dunno which of the batfam would do this but one time i was sleeping over at a friends house and ended up on the floor bc the bed was so very small and i just stayed there because the rug was soft

that's a drunk jason move i don't know what to tell you

tim and jason are "i listen to pop punk" solidarity. whenever jason highjacks the batmobile theyll go on long ass car rides blaring mcr and paramore and then never talk about it again

as they should!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! tim: no jason it's my turn using the aux cord i gotta put on my jams jason: don't you dare put on weird shit tim: don't worry, you're gonna love this *plays fearless (taylor's version)

hear me out hear me out, red hood stans 🤝 nightwing stans t h i g h s

holy shit yes.

SNL au: Bruce breaks character when pretending to superman and says something like "I'm not superman! You've seen his gps!! It's from 2001!!!" @sabeanybabe

superman flies past the snl building the next day just to say 'actually it's from 2005, i'm not a heathen'

does your back hurt from carrying the batfam fandom

it hurts more from the exotic rock collection i keep in my backpack, but thanks for the concern.

I love your posts by why would you always leave the best parts in the tags?

as a treat for the people that check the tags ;) (and also because i'm committed to the short post aesthetic)

somehow your playlist was everything i never knew i needed. i mean it. this is my new favorite playlist.

and don't you dare get a new favourite playlist!

babe ur stoner tim playlist is exactly too perfect, earth is literally blessed by ur existence

babe thanks so much! i love my stoner tim playlist because it's just my usual playlist but people think it's an artistic choice that i put taylor swift and britney spears in there, when it's just what i unironically like listening to

JANDKSKDK BILLY RAY CYRUS ON THE STONER TIM PLAYLIST I LOVE IT IT

again it's not even an ironic choice, i know every single word and i genuinely like the song

The last chapter of Fundamentals of Casework has me crying at work. Thanks I love it @dudelookitsalesbian

oh babe, i'm sorry, but also, not sorry i love chapter 4 so much it's my lovechild with the 'mental illness' tag

soooo....stumbled on your tumblr by some stroke of fate??? read your DC fanfic first. which is PHENOMENAL btw. then found all the batmemes; the funniest thing EVER bc everyone forgets about regular old gothamites. kept scrolling and your blog pops up as recommended. clicked on the ao3 for shits and giggles and waddaya know?!?!? it's YOU!!! you're LEGEND!!!! ever seen that meme? it's a video of a cat that got into a baseball field and the two announcers get really invested in his escape attempt and start giving a play by play of the cat instead of the game. memeable moment: "GREAT stuff from the Cat!!!"

i seriously think about this ask every single day and it's so fucking funny to me that i've never seen the meme you're referencing, but i still find myself going 'GREAT stuff from the Cat!!!' whenever i see something funny. but wow i'm glad you liked this steaming pile of garbage

Fav dc character overall? And fav batfamily character?

don't ask me to pick between the loves of my life, but i can tell you i've cried about every single batfamily member and also wally west (my beloved)

What's your opinion on fans having a problem with batfam being "too big"? And some even claim that batfam is just "Bruce Alfred Dick Damian" and the rest of them are just "friends and allies" (source: reddit) Personally, I like batfam because of this reason but idk

stupid. a family can never be too big. i'm not that big a fan of like huge batfam stuff with everybody from every single universe, because as much as it's funny for bruce to have like 30 kids, it just feels a little too OOC for me.

This is the best tag I've seen involving the batfam, thanks for thinking of it

This is canon now @nctxrejects

lmao yeah i think at that point alfred has had to sit through like at least a dozen coming out talks and just has a pride flag collection in the attic that he pulls out whenever a kid comes out

idk why batfam hits different as compared to any other superhero family

bc it's found family and usually the other superhero families are almost all genetically related in one way or another

I don't know if you watch the umbrella academy but I saw your last post about batcest and saw the similarities. But the thing is (although I think it's weird) in TUA, they addressed it by saying "they were raised as weapons, not siblings" or something along those lines, which is simply not the case with batfam.

yeah i watched tua but i also thought it was ridiculous and they still treated each other as siblings so i didn't like the luthor/allison thing, and am glad they stopped doing that shit bc it fucking sucked.

Hot take: Batcest shippers are the same people who believe adopted siblings are not actual siblings

smoking hot take: batcest shippers are the people who watch 'my sister got stuck in the washing machine' porn

Duke was adopted by Bruce?

not technically no, but do i, tumblr user batarangsoundsdumb, look like i care?

True story but I had to change my freaking name because it used to be "Damien" and most people would go "OH LIKE DAMIAN WAYNE" like please I'm just tryna live

true story, but i don't actually think of damian when i hear the name damian, literally the first thing that pops up is damian darkh like bruh what?

apparently dc comics company supported comic stores by giving out new titles and stuff during the beginning of the pandemic to help them run and I just think that's wholesome

ah yeah that's so fucking cool, still don't like dc, the company, because this world is a capitalist hellhole and we're all owned by warner brothers or disney with no in between.

ayo looking at tumblr head canons and finding out bruce is actually a terrible father is a punch in the gut

lmao yes, in like 50% of comics bruce is a terrible father and it gives me whiplash

oooh I just saw the jason todd vs winter soldier post and the real question is: batman vs iron man

while iron man has like hundreds of cases of armor, batman could throw out an emp and have the guy dropping out of the sky in 2 seconds.

dickfast = fastdick = quickdick = quickie

magnum hot take

hey bata(?) just thought I'd let you know I have copied the obnoxious emoji and Billy Ray post for use on simping men going forth

thank you 😘🌷 (@spacebarsidecar)

why would you do that to your followers???? i get why i did it, but why would you???

what is scarecrow made the nightwing funko pop himself, like those diy-ers that paint over other ones

oh god no, horrible take, horrible take, that's a disgusting thought oh no

I see your HC that Bruce and Oliver fucked and raise you this: Dick and Roy ALSO fucked

yes they did and it was a horrible moment for jason to find out dick has fucked both of his best friends

"at this rate bruce adds like 1 child to his family every decade or so" Duke is introduced in 2013, Damian as Damian, not as an unnamed child, in 2006. And he is already 14 years old, Robins rarely remain Robins after 16 😬 It looks like a new Robin and Batkid will appear in a couple of years

i mean i can't wait? but somebody will probably die first tho, we're due for another major character death. my money's on either cass or duke this time.

BRO you're so right all of your Bruce's ex headcanons are amazing but they aren't ships, that's kinda wild. Like I don't want any peeks into how their relationship was I just want to see everyone make fun of them

lmao YES it's just i love bruce being a slut, like good for him.

I am in love with your posts your honour thank you

omg thanks are we like,, gonna kiss now?

The justice league needs to have a meeting to discuss how many of their members/partners have slept with bruce. Because through a combination of cannon & fannon (if DC wasn’t homophobic) we have AT LEAST: 1) clark 2) lois 3) oliver 4) dinah 5) john

Thats not counting villains or random civilians @dudelookitsalesbian

yes yes yes, they'll have a yearly meeting about how many of their collective exes could be out for revenge and batman's list just keeps getting longer.

tim was like "i'm drake now" and everyone was like ahh so your fursona is a dragon and tim was like pffffft no. ducks.

and what about it?

when steph's fighting livewire and she zaps her with lighting and nothing happens and then they both just. stand there awkwardly for a second and talk. yeah i couldn't stop laughing at that batgirl steph is the BEST

oh yeah that was fucking hilarious and i think it would be so cool and sexy of dc to give steph a little comic series,,, as a treat

Hi I absolutely adore all of yours "Bruce and Oliver very badly pretending they didn't fuck each other" memes

lmao i do too

I need you to know that “Bruce Wayne had frosted tips” is one of my favorite Bruce takes of all time it’s so galaxy brained. you’re right and you should say it

he also painted his hair blonde once when he was travelling and in conclusion, this is why he's being blackmailed by the gotham gazette.

you know my thing about gordon being branded as the only good cop in gotham is its a load of shit like arguably he's a good person and not working to screw people over or anything but the fact that he also works w. batman makes him a shit cop. like yea batman is better than the mob but its still illegal its still an abuse of power he just not making bank

babe, all cops are bad cops. (but yeah youre absolutely right, working with vigilantes makes you a shit cop, but also working against vigilantes just makes you an asshole cop yanno?)

ruh roh i think i’m about to add “so not yeehaw” every time i don’t like something

that's a very good vocabulary upgrade

somehow i feel like steph already knew. like babs obviously knew but i feel like bruce got high/drunk in front of steph and started telling his boarding school stories and steph was just like “oh you fucked up i’m never gonna forget this”

steph and bruce have weird uncle/rebellious niece dynamic and they just hang out sometimes and bruce will be like 'i once broke my arm when i tripped over a hedge when i was drunk so oliver drove me to the hospital on an electric scooter' and steph will just have to sit there with that knowledge in her head.

Hello I just wanted to tell you you are So right in all your steph opinions bc she is, in fact amazing and I think that's very sexy of you. Ps. Your Bruce/Oliver fic is hilarious

babe, thank you so much and yes steph is amazing and i love her and she deserves the world and she's the best member of the batfam hands down. also thanks

In Supersons we see a couple of kids that are implied to be Damian and Jon's children and the boy has laser eyes and can fly, so I asume he's not adopted. The girl, who calls Bruce grandpa, can also fly, btw. So it's canon (probably by accident) that Jon can have kids and he must have married one of Bruce's kids. (I'm hoping for Damian, mostly because any other of his children would be waaaaaaaaaaaaay too old.) @artemisa97

lmao that was probably an accident seeing as jon is a 17 year old superhero in the year 3000 (by the jonas brothers)

You know, I'm a die hard fan of your memes, but I gotta say one thing: if Gothamites actually took gas mask everywhere with them, then the Scarecrow would just be a weird dude in a weird costume, and not a villain oh so scary. DC really should just takes notes from you.

bold of you to assume there's no gothamite anti-maskers

How does it feel being the funniest person on this app?

horrible, next question.

I can't listen to Green Day or Billy Joel without thinking of your post about how Bruce got arrested at a Billy Joel concert @nightwings-kid

yeah that's your mistake, i on the other hand can't enjoy billy joel without thinking about the glee rendition of 'uptown girl'

I've FINALLY been watching the Batman animated series and I gotta say, after watching "the gray ghost" I am CONVINCED that Batman is a closeted super hero geek who was 100% freaking out the first time he met Superman and is just REALLY good at hiding it.

superman: so what do you do in your free time? batman, thinking about the superman fanfiction he's writing on the batcomputer: i have no free time

bruce and oliver be like boyfriends to co-workers 401k (do the justice leagues get 401ks??? not that bruce and ollie would need them, but-)

lmao yes just 400 thousand words of bruce realising 'oh dip oliver is such a fucking dumbass' (also i don't know what a 401 k is but i assume they don't?)

Gothamites would totally boo superman as he saves Gotham while batman is out. @meenje

he's like 'okay think about that next time you want to be saved from an alien octopus'

I just took long break from dc comics and I come back to see ric grayson ??

i think it's very cool and sexy of dc to see dick and just think 'you know what? let's just give him a traumatic brain injury' and then didn't develop his character in any real way

SPEAKING OF RIC GRAYSON, gothamites making confused memes out of ric grayson is much needed

'dick grayson is my taxi driver? can anyone explain what the fuck happened he looks like an italian plumber?'

i hate to say it but batfam are def "marvel characters" in that sense they are characters who are human but become superheroes unlike most dc characters who are gods trying to be human maybe this is why I like batfam

fair enough

#this is only like half of it #but at least you can get like a few answers #yanno fuck it #bataranswers #ask #asks #anon

[prettyporcelain]

YEA SO IM ANFRY ASF I LITERALLY PROMISED MYSELF TO CONTROL EVERYTHING AND NOW IM NOT COUNTING CALORIES UNTIL SUNDAY AHG.

Ok so I'm going to vent a little about how am I feeling and what am I going to do because I'm about to literally freak out.

Okay so yesterday and today I've been eating a lot and not counting/not counting properly cuz I had two exams and I was literally so stressed. I think that probably most of my intake that was an excess came from emotional eating, representing my stress and my anxiety. Anyways so tomorrow I'm going to have lunch with my grandma in a restaurant which I don't have the menu and I don't know if have lowcal options, so I don't want to calculate anything wrong for that day, and that means that I'm probably will not count tomorrow and will not count on Sunday because it's mother's Day, and I'm going to eat with my family and I don't wanna get more stressed than I am rn, and i don't wanna to get overwhelmed.

These days I've been selecting my limit by myself but I think that if I really want to get back on track it's the moment of starting a new diet, and I have to choose which one I want to do, because I'm on my last semester of my school year (I'm a junior in my country lol) and I don't want to fail everything... So, I'm going to do something that isn't too low calorie but also isn't like too high, and I'm going to stick on it and try not to binge or not to break it. And well, I'll see... I'll have this little break because I really been having a shit time every day. Also i'm going to start getting back on track principally because I gained weight and that's my motivation, bc that makes me feel awful; and I'm fucking pissed off because I had to eat but ik that in these 3 days my intake is not going to be more than 1800 calories approximately so I probably will not gain weight or, I'll gain idk... 2lbs maybe (? The only thing I learned is that when I overeat I get bloated, and mostly it's bc of water weight. Mayyybe if I do a fast on Monday or start this new diet, on the next week all of that water weight should be gone. I just have to be patient.

Anyways this is how I'm feeling right now. I don't know how to describe it perfectly, I just know that I'm uncomfortable but I don't want to get more stressed. I'm just going to take a deep breath knowing that I'm going to eat a little more but that's not going to affect me because I've been eating in a deficit as we all are, and then I'll get back on track. it's only 3 days but....shit, it makes me feel that I'm failing my ED. I know I'm not, but every time I feel fat and I feel that I don't have any control because I ate and sometimes I don't count, and I just feel invalid all the time. It's really awful. I know that I have an eating disorder, I just can't accept it. Literally I can't stand the fact that I'm going to spend these 3 days like this and that the name of the illness that I have its anorexia. Like my brain goes like "how the fuck you are an anorexic if you're eating all of this shit you fat pig"

I just can't feel better. I feel shame. Guilt. I just want that Monday finally arrive because I wanna start this new diet to get back on track. I'm tired of feeling fat and heavy and invalid. I'm tired of eating 1300 calories or 1000 calories. I just really miss when I ate like 500 calories maximum. But well that's a small detail.

Now I just have to concentrate on why am I going to do on Monday and pretend that this weekend it's not going to exist. And I have to remember that if I gain weight it's probably water weight.

Okay if you read all of this thank you ily

#vent post #ana relapse #anareksja #low cal restriction #need to lose more weight #tw ana things #tw ed mention #ana log #anorexjc #caloric restriction #calorie tracker #tw ed thoughts #tw ed talk #tw ed behavior #food restriction #fatass #just ed shit #eating disoder thoughts #disordered eating tw #not pr0 ana