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#you don't get to make me feel bad about my creations
ahundredtimesover · 3 days
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Hi.. I grew up in the part of the world where sex is dirty, a sin. And a woman wanting and enjoying sex is just something so bad. She is considered a who*e. Even if she is married.Sex is just a means to make babies or obviously for men to have fun. And so I grew up uncomfortable with the idea of a naked body.. even mine.. and obviously with age and harmones... I wanted physical intimacy and I hated myself for wanting it. But then I came across BTS.. eventually Wattpad, Tumblr... And you and few other writers make sex a part of the story.. so intimate.. so deep.. Really... You and few other writers changed my perspective towards sex. I don't hate myself or my partner for wanting it. I started appreciating his attraction towards me even more. It in turn made me love my body a bit more . Even though I am still insecure af.
And directly/indirectly addressing issues.. like past traumas.. childhood trauma... Addressing issues.. accountability... I mean ur stories have them all... Somehow I became a better person in terms of understanding myself.. not there yet . But opening myself for the possibilities of my triggers, my reactions. I don't know. I try to handle myself better.. bcz all of you beautiful writers helped me get in touch with my emotions n feelings. I have always avoided them. So thank you for existing.. for sharing ur beautiful beautiful amazing creations with us..
Love 💗
Hi. Before anything, I just want to say that this message means so much to me. 🥹 And I just want to thank you for being brave in sharing something so personal and vulnerable. I understand that there are many societies that treat sex this way. And I'm sorry that you had to go through that discomfort or even shame for wanting it, and if it affected your relationship. It's always a tough thing to navigate.
For me personally, I used to be scandalised by it. That changed when I got a boyfriend but I would still get insecure and feel shy to explore. One thing that writing has done for me was allow myself to explore that side of me that wanted that intimacy, that bit of roughness but gentleness; it allowed me to know what I want and how to express that to my partner. I think my stories reflect what I feel about sex. Sure, it's pleasurable and it has many purposes. But there's something so special when it's done with someone you care about, when there's trust and respect and this overflowing desire to be in each other's presence, to learn about each other and make the other feel good and happy.
I started appreciating his attraction towards me even more. It in turn made me love my body a bit more - I absolutely love this. I love that there's that acceptance now, and though you may still get insecure sometimes, you know that someone will love you regardless. I love writing banter and admiration and body worship in my scenes bc I feel like they're so natural. They make the act more genuine and real. So I'm happy that even with just these stories, it can change the way you approach it and think about yourself. 😊
Somehow I became a better person in terms of understanding myself - I love how you framed this, because learning to understand ourselves is one way to be better. I started writing as a form of release. I just got off my anti-depressants then and I needed to cope. Writing was cathartic, and I was able to put my fears and desires into words, it let me express my emotions in a way that stabilised me, and I'll always be thankful that in doing so, it helped you be in touch with your emotions, too. It's such a beautiful thing we can do for ourselves - to be kinder, to be gentler. I hope we can always strive towards that.
Thank you for dropping by, and for trusting me enough to share this. I'm glad that I, and other writers in this space just trying to get by, could do something for you in such small way. Please always be well. And I'm sending you love. 💕💕💕
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lobautumny · 11 months
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So like, the Reddit strike going on right now, yeah? I've been seeing a lot of people comment on how they appreciate the protest and then go on to say that this has the notable downside of them constantly looking up questions and not being able to easily find the answers because all of the easily-findable answers are exclusively on Reddit. I am not sure if most of the people making this observation are within the line of thought of "man, maybe this protest isn't such a good idea after all" or "man, it really sucks that we've let the internet get so consolidated," and I'm really hoping its the latter.
Like, all of this? This right here? Reddit making a shitty, anti-consumer grab for money and control over how people are allowed to access the information on their servers, and the website going dark in protest causing tons of people to not be able to access important information? This is exactly what people mean when they say that it's bad that the internet has shrunk down so much and is mostly comprised of, like, 10 websites. It's a fucking problem that one company making one bad decision and causing their website to crash and burn can jeopardize so much of humanity's cumulative information.
This two-day glimpse into the internet without Reddit is the warning shot. Imagine what will happen if Reddit actually goes down for good for one reason or another one day. Imagine what will happen if/when Discord or Fandom bites the dust, or gets rendered practically-unusable without paying an ever-increasing premium because they're owned by blood-sucking corporate leeches.
Another big thing is Twitter clamping down really hard on your ability to DM people if you don't have Twitter Blue. If this goes through, it'll put a ton of artists and sex workers who rely on Twitter DMs for their business operation into a shitty situation. Now, obviously, it's not gonna be the end of the world for them, but once again, it feels like a warning shot to me. Twitter is a sinking ship, and unless something changes and it starts to course-correct, I worry that it'll go under and all of the creators who rely on it will suddenly be in an extremely precarious situation.
These are the sorts of things that we, as the users of the internet, need to seriously think about as time goes on, and if we don't find an adequate answer sooner, we're going to pay for it later. I still hold that the best solution is to start making and using more individual, niche websites. Things like Twitter, Reddit, Discord, etc. have their place, of course, but I seriously think a lot was lost through the death of things like individual forums and the existence of many different wiki-hosting sites.
We need a concerted effort, not just on the side of larger creators, but on the users themselves, to stop exclusively using these larger websites and support the creation and growth of smaller, more niche websites, and prevent a catastrophe before it actually happens. I simply hope that people with larger platforms than my own pick up on all this and start talking about it and swaying people to act sooner rather than later. I know it's possible to correct the problem of the mysteriously tiny internet before a modern Library of Alexandria moment happens, I just don't know if that correction will actually happen in time.
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drchucktingle · 3 months
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Chuck, how do you deal with people who are rude about you and your work? I write queer romance and I want to put my writing out there for people to read, but I'm a very sensitive person and I know it will be hard not to take insults personally and let them affect me. I don't want to let that stop me from expressing myself and sharing my art, but I'm scared!
very good question buckaroo. i am a good example of this as pretty much EVERYONE was rude about my work for many years calling it 'so bad its good' (it is just good) and 'terrible photoshop' (i think it has a great and instantly recognizable style) and 'intentionally stupid premises' (i dont think there is anything stupid about sex being fun and whimsical and playful). even these days the reaction of the VAST majority of buckaroos who discover chuck have this reaction AT FIRST, and then learn to appreciate the tingleverse in a more sincere way over time.
all that is to say BEING DOUBTED HAS WORKED OUT VERY WELL FOR ME. art that changes meaning over time can be very powerful, so if someones initial reaction to my trot is one thing and then it evolves into another thing, well that is just good art. while it can feel bad to get a bad review, i would say a bad review just means you have entered a realm of tension and change and discord and WE ARE TALKIN ABOUT ART BUD so that, in itself, is very exciting.
i think of what i do as 'punk writing', and a big part of that means pushing against preconceived sensibilities. not many other authors will proudly say 'there SHOULD be some spelling errors in my erotic shorts because i wrote it in a day and edited it once. that is the FEELING i want to create', but that is my way. by creating what is in my soul i KNOW i am going to bother some buckaroos and that is okay.
now i am NOT assuming you are also doing punk writing (that is okay of course we all have our own styles. what i am doing with tinglers is pretty rare), but it still stands to remember that there are 7.8 billion people on the planet of this dang timeline and some of them are bound to be bothered by your creations. that is not a problem, that is just part of baring your authentic self.
the other thing to remember is theres no REAL right or wrong in art. it can be analyzed in different ways and i tend to look at it in a way of comparing intention to result, but even THAT is not strictly correct. therefore any bad review of something you make is not actually BAD it is just someones information and feedback for you to take or leave. a one star review is just another opinion, it is no more right or wrong than your own opinion, and that is wonderful. it is freeing.
if i see a bad review of my own book, lets just say CAMP DAMASCUS for instance, i do not get upset because i know this: that reviewer is not wrong. camp damascus is five stars for me, but it is one star for someone else AND THAT IS OK. THAT IS THE WAY IT SHOULD BE. THAT IS GREAT ART. also MAYBE THEY KNOW BETTER THAN I DO. just because i wrote the book does not mean i am the authority on it, and the conversation and tension between those that enjoy something and those that despise it is a creative act. the audience engaging with your work is just your art emerging from its cocoon and saying 'here i am. lets see where i flutter off to now'
do not fear the river of this timeline sweeping away your creations and carrying them where it will. this is inevitable, but it is also beautiful and freeing. you cannot swim against it and that is okay bud, because YOU HAVE ALREADY WON. you have already created something and given a piece of yourself back to this timeline and that is a great honor and privilege. it is literally all there is
by creating ANYTHING you are proving love is real, and that is something to be proud of
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domsaysstuff · 1 year
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Okay so this idea has been rocking around my empty skull for some time now just we know that Eddie can be a pretty mean DM and a shithead and I've been thinking abt romances in D&D and how it would work in Hellfire
And I had this thought that Eddie would like be "no romances!!" to the Corroded Coffin group (before the kids joined) and they're like why? and Eddie just to tease them says that he doesn't want to pretend to fall for their smelly ugly faces
Which just motivates them to try and seduce like every character that Eddie introduces for a fucking month and it leads to the creation of the rule: Every romance/seduction directed roll must be rolled above 15 to succeed AND if Eddie decides that the attempt is particularly bad the roll is with disadvantage
The Corroed Coffin boys are obviously teasingly like ohhh so we get an advantage if it's good?
"Doubt that would happen boys, but sure, if you make me, Eddie fucking Munson, to blush like a fair maiden then you'll get the advantage on the roll"
They try, they really do, but all the CC boys succeed in doing is killing off all of their party in three sessions and Gareth who is a little shit is actually rolling his third character (because the consequences of a failure are fucking brutal) by the time Jeff and [unnamed freak] give up
After that they know better (except Gareth who still sometimes does that just to annoy Eddie and be a little shit) to try and then the kids join Hellfire and Eddie has even less of an desire to flirt with fucking Wheeler, Henderson and Sinclair (they're baby children!!)
But the kids are a little shits too and they see Gareth being a little shit so they copy
It ends badly for them, they gripe about Eddie being unfair because like "all three of us have girlfriends Eddie and you don't so we clearly know more about romance then you do" Dustin not only gets a flick on the head for that but his character might have ended up being put into situations™ throughout the session that are "totally unfair!"
But fair to say all of Hellfire knows the rules and all of hellfire knows that no matter how well they try and how smooth they are (they really aren't ever smooth) Eddie will not blush or even consider they attempts as "good", the best they got was "tolerable" (Lucas got it and he's still very proud of it, as he deserves okay?), Eddie is impossible to fluster and so it's just is this fun thing they sometimes do when they feel particularly like little shits
And that's it about it
Until Vecna and all the upside down shit and the surprising friendship of Eddie and Steve happens
And suddenly Steve Harrington is not only sitting but playing D&D
Everything is going actually pretty good and Dustin practically vibrates out of his chair at how proud he is of Steve for how well he is doing so far and then
And then Steve tries to flirt with a pretty bard
Dustin deflates, he is ready for the absolute disaster that is going to fall upon Steve, he makes eye contact with Lucas - both of them ready with "it was actually a pretty good line tho!" at the tip of their tongues to defend Steve's decisions, he doesn't know Eddie's special rules after all and it would be funny to see Steve fail, sure, but it's Steve's first game and the kids wanted it to be good for Steve so convincing him to play again would be easier
But now Eddie is going to absolutely rip into him and Steve will never want to play again and-
"Roll with advantage" Dustin gasps, audibly, loudly, the room is silent, except for Steve who's very unaware of the chaos he just created and just rolls the dices, his usual confidence in place
And if someone looked closely - and all of the hellfire is fucking looking - Eddie Munson has indeed a light blush on his face
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Know what? I'm gonna try throwing my hat into the ring for Danny Phantom.
I accidentally electrocuted myself as a kid and never told anybody- nothing serious, I grabbed the three exposed prongs of a half plugged in laptop charger in the middle of the night and didn't want to get in trouble since nobody else was awake. Even if it isn't fatal, it's terrifying and your vision completely blacks out and your arm tingles for days afterwards, and for the whole day after you got shocked your fingers on the hand that grabbed the prongs will randomly twitch, open or close or jerk to the side. You have no control, it's like when the doctor hits your knee to check your reflexes.
Now, from what I can tell from the scene where Danny went ghost for the first time, he really was electrocuted. From what I can tell, his ghost and human halves seem kinda separate- not completely, but the change is there. Where is this going?
Danny never told anyone about the accident- not anybody that could help him, anyways. I propose that, since he never got medical treatment or physical/occupational therapy after the accident, his motor function deteriorates over time.
More specifically, his small motor function is effected- I will be using personal experience in this section, since my small motor skills were so bad I couldn't use zippers or tie my shoes until I was 12, but I'll try putting things in reverse.
Danny starts fumbling with tying his shoes, laughing it off as being tired. Buttons take a few minuets, and even snap buttons become a bit hard. Odd, mildly confusing, but nothing to be concerned about. Then it progresses. He can't properly use tools anymore, it's like nothing is ever precise enough, everything takes a few tries to get it right. His fingers are fumbling everything, his handwriting turns to chickenscratch that not even he can read at times, he struggles to comb his hair because it's hard to coordinate movements, his back teeth are always textured because he struggles to brush his teeth and he can't really reach the back ones properly anymore.
I don't know if this is connected to small motor or not, but he starts dragging his feet and the toes of his shoes wear out quicker because walking while lifting his feet any higher doesn't feel right. This was something I had fixed during occupational therapy, but I don't know if it was just me or not.
Eventually, it becomes sunlight-on-clean-pact-snow levels of blindingly obvious that something is incredibly wrong. Danny's hair is knotted and half-matted because he is unable to brush it properly, when he smiles there is plaque on some parts of his teeth and not others, he always wears slip-on shoes or his laced shoes are always untied, buttons always seem like they could unslip because they're only half-buttoned, zippers in his jackets getting stuck in shirts and he doesn't bother to fix it, teachers can no longer read his assignments and his friends can't read his notes. Nobody can ignore it, but nobody knows how to help when Danny gets so clearly frustrated when he has to do something with his hands and it just doesn't work. It seems like he suddenly developed a hole in his lip, since he always had to lean far over his bowl or plate to not end up on food with his shirt because his hands can't hold silverware steady.
But Phantom? None of those issues. He became a ghost after being electrocuted, of course. Why would there be damage from the initial creation of this half? It could be why he ends up enjoying fighting the ghosts, his hands actually work with him instead of against him.
Feel free to take this idea and do what you want with it, I really liked writing this!
Also if you use this for a fic, please comment the link if possible, I wanna see all the ways people use this :)
Edit: So I started a mini-series about this. Is it any good? Probably not, but writing makes me happy.
Noticed But Hoping For The Best
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Activation Energy and Executive Dysfunction
A bunch of people (with executive dysfunction I assume) reacted a little disheartened to how I described the phenomenon.
The gist is that I used activation energy, a concept from chemistry, as a model for how executive dysfunction can keep you from doing things. Activation energy is the minimal energy that has to be available for any chemical reaction to occur and that amount is specific to every reaction.
Executive Dysfunction to me means, that this activation energy is always high, even for tasks other people experience as spontaneous reaction (yes the amount of ae and spontaneity of a reaction are not connected necessarily but bear with me here). A good example is showering or feeding yourself or sometimes getting up from the couch.
The tricky thing here is that the energy put into trying to reach activation energy is still *expended*, so while it might seem like nothing happens, you still get drained, making it harder to reach activation energy levels.
So what can we do?
In synthesis, if your activation energy is too high you basically can do two things: you either add a catalyst, or you find a different way to get to your result altogether.
The latter can be choosing a simpler recipe to feed yourself, graze on random items without making a meal until you are full or ordering food for example.
This is not always possible, but it *is* worth thinking about. An example from my life would be that I open my mail outside at the trash bins and immediately discard what I don't need because otherwise, I have paperstuff flying around my appartment that I don't get rid of.
"Weird" is not something that should factor in here. Make it functional and helpful.
The catalyst is my favourite solution however, and I can give you some tips here that you can *immediately* use. I won't know if they work for you, but they do for me (sometimes! be kind to yourself).
CATALYSTS AGAINST EXECUTIVE DYSFUNCTION
Have your tasks broken down: when you have energy, make sure that the thing on your to do list is something you can *actually* physically immediately do. Don't write "make reservation", but "call restaurant" along with the number. Not "clean kitchen" but "move dishes to sink" etc
Doorway Effect: The Doorway effect describes that silly thing that, when we cross a boundary, we sometimes feel like we've been soft reset ("what was I going to do?"). A hypothesis for why this happens can be that it helps our brain create separate contexts which then aids memory creation. What it can do for you is that it is an easy way to change context, which then frees you up to start something new more easily. Try it! Physically go through a doorway or open a different window on the computer, sometimes that is enough.
Costuming: Similar to the Doorway Effect, we are changing context in a low effort way here. Concentrate on putting on your shoes instead of taking out the trash or put on some rubber gloves if you plan on cleaning. Might be enough. Sometimes putting on mascara is enough for me to go "oh I am out of couch potato mode now"
Move! Put yourself where you need to be to tackle your task. That can already help.
Pressure: This can be done by setting a timer that will go off soon. Challenge yourself to get up and go before it rings - might stress you into inaction sometimes, but it can be helpful. I love visual timers for this as it helps with my time blindness
Prepare! If you are in a state of flow and have energy to spare *use it*. This includes breaking down your task as already described but also preparing your space - this can be a cleaned up desk or a caddy with cleaning supplies in a prominent spot.
And my absolute favorite: Throw a dice. When it is really bad, one thing I can always do is throw a dice (via an app, typing "d20" into the search bar or physically having one on me - which I usually do now). I tell myself that if I "make the roll" I get up and do it and if I don't, I try again in 20 minutes. This changes context easily, removes responsibility from me and makes the whole thing playful. I usually go with a d20 and tell myself to get going with a result over 10. If I have a particularly bad day I might need 15+ to do something. Just try it.
In short, what we are trying to do is
minimize friction by frontloading as much thinking and preparing as we can
make a context change as easy and small as possible
And remember: the goal is never to Always Be Doing Something.
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evilminji · 3 months
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You know one of the purposes of Lining?
Shock Absorption.
If the Zone is the Inter- and EXTRA-Dimensional Lining, connecting, containing, and generally powering all of Multiversal Creation? The Great Primordial Soup? The Ashes to Ashes, Dust to Dust, from which we came and too which we return?
If the Zone itself is basicly the place between Universe, where your soul goes to get washed down, cleaned up, recharged, and sent out to wherever the next random portal takes it? To BECOME whatever you happen to find? An infinte recycler and Multiversal management?
The great metaphorical Yggdrasil, grown far beyond few branches, into an incomprehensible forest of one?
Well!
That kinda changes things! And also nothing! Because it means that those who remain? Are basicly squatting in the DMV's attic. Have built bunkers, under the country's main power generator. They really SHOULD move along. Granted, there is no one to MAKE them... but like...
That's cause no one thought anyone would NEED too?
Lol. Don't they feel silly? Anyway, I'ma put MY house over-! *wander off to go squat in the rafters*
Yeah, the CONCEPTS are native. But those probably just generate naturally. It's all the Souls constantly flowing through. Lots of background Sentience and Memories and such being washed away into the air. But? Then these lil souls were like "yeah, but if THEY get to stay... me too! D:< " "no, you can-" "ME TOO" and then they stopped listening and did what they wanted.
Good thing we have literally infinte amounts of room.
T...there's so MANY, you guys.
But! Not the point here!
*smacks white board* Realities! The Die too sometimes! And get born! A beautiful process, really. You can find Reality Beads if you know When and Where to look, some times. They, OBVIOUSLY, don't last for very long. Since they are basicly just seed universe. The explosive growth takes them almost immediately out of our range of perception, as they Begin.
Foundations of all Life and such.
But good God are they MAGNIFICENT!
However, sometimes? The REVERSE happens. If you find the area of the Zone your in? Is getting... "wavey" is the best way people describe it. Distorted. Fun house mirror. As though your vision has weird wrinkles that are distorting and stretching your view of things? Get Out. FAST.
If it's only SLIGHT? Barely noticeable? You can grab your Lair. IF, and ONLY IF you are NEARBY! If not? Remember. Things can be replaced. YOU? Can not.
Cause that "wavey"-ness? Is the final stage of Realm Entropy. The universe that portion over the Zone is covering and connected too, is all hollowed out. And about to CAVE IN. You DO NOT want to be there when that happens!
Remember! You see "waves"? Fly for three days!
Get to the edge of the affected area then KEEP GOING for a full three days flight. Warn everyone in you path. We stay safe together, guy. Collapses are NO JOKE. People get... well. Let's just say it's NOT a nice way too go.
Knowing this of course? We should all be SAFE right? Respectful if Awed distance from Reality Seeds, run like he'll if "waves"? We Gucci?
.....Sooooorta.
*flips Whiteboard to other side, to reveal a cartoonishly drawn Supervillian labeled "Asshole"*
Behold! A Terrorist!
It's a charged word. Not used lightly. But THESE fuckers? Oh ho ho! THESE fuckers?! "Ooooh~! Look at MEEEEE! I'm gonna play with FORCES I DONT UNDERSTAAAAAAAND! Destabilize my whole funckin UNIVERSE! Kill countless TRILLIONS OF TRILLIONS! Cause life was bad to me personally and I'm mad about it! Wah wah wah!!" ASSHOLES!
These fuckers? Cause Collapses. Blow Outs. Weird Fucked Up Cancerous Real Growths. You ever seen the Cleaners? No? You don't WANT TOO. They are basically eldritch, deep sea, angler fish looking mother fuckers THE SIZE OF SOLAR SYSTEMS. They travel in SCHOOLS.
BIG ONES.
When Realities collapse, they "fall off" as it were. Detach. And have to get recycled. All the countless impurities of Life eaten way to a blank slate. So it too, can start again. Thus the Fish. But! They ALSO eat anything "problematic".
Like tumors. Cancers. Poisoned, Multiversal Threats. Those quote on quote "God Killers".
Yes. Yes this IS part of why you DONT want to be near a Collapsing Reality.
No I WON'T explain how I know.
I DONT WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT.
*smack the board with pointer* pay attention.
Jason Todd. Not! An Asshole. Sexy thighs. Fancy lil hair strip. We all miss him. But! He's off living his "no really, I'm totally alive, guys" hot girl summer or whatever. We are going to respect that! But!!! How did that happen? When he was DEFINITELY Hella dead?
Superboy Prime-y Pants. Who IS an ASSHOLE.
Because THAT fucker? PUNCHED HIS REALITY SO HARD IT NEARLY SHATTERED. Oh, no, I'm sorry! He punched SOMEONE ELSE'S reality! Because he is a tantruming MAN CHILD! And NOW? Now, Your Majesty, that WHOLE ASS Reality is more hair line cracks then border walls! One good shove? It'll cave in. Killing every soul inside.
The Cleaners are ALREADY circling.
It needs to be patched. Immediately. But that's not something normal ghosts can DO. The Zone won't LISTEN to us. Nor allocate the energy for it. The Concepts of Healing? We can't even FIND them.
We need help.
Please help them, King Phantom. You're the only one who CAN.
@hdgnj @babbling-babull @hypewinter @ailithnight @mutable-manifestation @nerdpoe @the-witchhunter
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My heart hurts so bad for Aziraphale because I can honestly just relate to him so, so, so much.
(not putting this one under a cut so warning season 2 ahead, I'll tag it at the bottom too)
Aziraphale says, "Nothing lasts forever," but I don't believe for a second he doesn't wish that it did.
He WANTS things to go back to how they used to be. He WANTS the seraphic Crowley squealing with joy as he cranks up the universal machine and sets the stars aflame. He WANTS there to be no sides, he WANTS to believe in the idea of the host united, he WANTS to go back before Crowley got himself in trouble by asking questions. He wants, I think, to be in that moment of creation and adoration forever.
Change seems to frighten him. There's an aspect of uncertainty. There's an element of chaos, the loss of control. I understand this deeply. And what the Metatron offered him was just that: certainty, control, the ability to dictate his own narrative.
I used to be in a toxic job. On top of it, I had intense anxiety and other undiagnosed neurodivergencies that made it even harder to fit in and understand the untold rules I was supposed to follow to get along. When I first got there, it wasn't so bad -- perhaps I was, like Aziraphale, also a bit idealistic. Then there were some changes that brought instability, significant more anxiety, and a lot of nights spent agonizing over my lack of control over it all.
My friends and significant other tried to convince me to leave, but I didn't want to. I didn't know what else was out there. I didn't know if it would be worse. I didn't know what kind of stability it would have.
Then my manager left, so that spot opened up. I had worked there for a long time, and honestly, I never saw myself going into management. I didn't think I could. I wasn't sure I even wanted to. All of that extra stress, on me? Not to mention, getting FURTHER into the job that was taking a massive toll on me? But then...
Then I would have control. Then I could run things the way *I* had always thought they should run. I wouldn't need to worry about who would replace my manager and whether my life would be a living hell -- I would make it what I wanted it to be. Upper management was really pushing for it, so I applied.
To make a long story short: I don't think it went very well. I didn't have the support I needed. I didn't have the emotional skills I needed. I think I did my best, but I'm not fond of those times. At the time, I was SURE that I wanted to move up even more, I was SURE this would make it all better. I thought this was what I REALLY wanted.
But that's not what I needed. What I needed was to get out, and eventually I did. Even as ready as I was to leave, it was absolutely agonizing. I could barely stand to handle the unknown. I was going to work together with my spouse, actually, and I was so excited for that, but I still... I still was upset and worried sick over the dramatic change that would befall my life, after I had made the decision to leave.
That's where I can relate to Aziraphale. I wonder what would've happened if, before I had actually left for good, the head honchos had come up to me and said, "We want to keep you -- how about we offer you (an even higher position)?" -- would I have said no, or would I have wanted to make a difference?
Funny, I said exactly that, too. That's almost why I didn't change jobs in the first place. I said, "But I feel like I'm really making a difference with what I'm doing now." But what pushed me over the edge was realizing that none of that mattered to them, it was all about THEIR control of ME, not the other way around.
I'm so intensely curious to see what happens with Aziraphale next, but I'm sure he will learn what Crowley understands: nothing lasts forever, and sometimes it's good that it doesn't -- even if sometimes we wish it did.
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berryzxx · 2 months
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Better than cupcakes
Azriel x reader
Summary: Azriel is your mate and you don't know it. Your also a baker which makes things more complicated. Not to mention Eris liking you as well. Will you realise Azriel likes you just as much as you do him?
I also really want cupcakes rn. Ignore any mistakes or feel free to tell me. ily all. MWUAH💕 i just want azriel. why can't he be real
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I piped another cupcake, the dark purple icing coming out perfectly. I put it to the side and before I could start on another one Cassian walked in a big smile on his face. I didn't hear the bell because of how concentrated I was on trying to get these almost perfect, otherwise I would have locked the door before he could have come in. "It smells delicious in here. Any failed testers you want me to finish?"
He came up to the counter and sat down on a stool eyeing up my creations "I was wondering when the garbage disposal would arrive" I muttered before pointing to a tray to the side where a few uneven and ugly looking cupcakes sat. He merely grinned back and reached for one, taking a bite.
"Just as good as I expected" He said rolling his eyes dramatically. I smiled and nodded my head "I know...but you say that to everything. I need someone proper to test them"
Cassian frowned, tucking in his wings and reached for another cupcake to demolish "You should take my opinions seriously you know. I'm actually a professional chef at home"
I raised an eyebrow "Making tea for Nesta once in a while doesn't count" His smile dropped and he went into some sort of deep thinking.
"Azriel's waiting outside. Should I get him to try some?"
I nodded "Why's he waiting outside? Tell him to come in" Cassian nodded his head, taking another cupcake on his way out. I iced a few more before he came grumbling back.
"He won't come in. Says he needs to leave and doesn't have time for cupcakes"
I frowned "He'll have time for cupcakes if i tell him to! Where is he?" I put down the icing bag and grabbed a cupcake. Cassian pointed to the door "Just outside the door"
Before I left I narrowed my eyes "Don't think I haven't counted how many there are"
He gave me a mischievous grin before I walked out the café and found Azriel securing his daggers in place. A sign he was about to set off into the sky.
"Azriel!" I shouted, quickly walking and slightly skipping over to him. He turned around his hand covering his eyes so he could block the sun, shading his eyes.
"Yes?"
I lifted up my cupcake and smiled "I made cupcakes and I need someone to try them"
He raised an eyebrow "Wasn't Cassian in there just a few moments ago?"
I sighed "Yes but he's Cassian. He eats anything. I need someone who'll give me proper feedback"
Azriel thought about it, his eyes raking over my hopeful expression. "Fine" He muttered, taking the cupcake. He nodded toward something behind me "What's that?" I turned around and found nothing of interest.
"What's what?" I asked turning back round. He shook his head "Nothing" He muttered, chewing slowly before swallowing.
"How was it? Too sweet? I think you had too much icing in that bite, maybe try some more?" I asked, waiting for him to say something. Anything.
"It's....interesting" He finally said. My smile dropped "Really? Was it that bad? What should I change? I knew it was too sweet. Or was it something else?"
Azriel shook his head slowly "It was one of the worst things I've had in a while"
My slight despair turned into shock.
My mouth dropped open "WHAT? Are you being serious right now? You don't even know the basics for cooking don't come to me with the bullshit of it being the worst thing you've ever had, honestly-"
His hand covered my mouth before I could carry on anymore. The warm press of his hand on my lips making me stop immediately. His lips were turned up into a small smile "You wanted the feedback y/n. Can't take it anymore?"
I crossed my arms and waited for him to let me speak. He didn't, merely moving closer to me and looking down at me with those warm hazel eyes. I opened my mouth and bit into his hand so he'd move away which surprisingly he did. I smiled with triumph until I remembered what he had previously said.
I narrowed my eyes "You aren't trying any more of my treats again"
"Whatever will I do?" He replied sarcastically, a small smirk on his gorgeous face. I clenched my teeth together, lost for words and wanting to wipe the smirk off his face.
"Go away" I finally mustered. I cringed internally, that was the worst thing I could have thought of. He looked at me instead of replying, his hazel eyes glowing amber in the sun light.
"Do you really think I was being serious?" He finally said, moving closer to me so there was only an inch's space between us. I crossed my arms waiting for another sarcastic comment or for him to joke but he didn't.
"Yes?" I replied, unsure of the answer myself.
He let out a sigh and shook his head "Really, y/n. Your cooking is just as gorgeous as you. The cupcake was delicious"
I wish I had a more sensible response but when was I ever known for my maturity?
"Really?" I was grinning and trying to ignore the part where had called me gorgeous otherwise I would be in deep shit.
He nodded his head, a small smile on his face too. Gods he was so pretty. And his lips...I shook my thoughts away and gave him a quick hug. He smelt like wind and smoke and deliciousness. And honestly? I wanted to keep hugging him forever. But that wasn't possible.
I stepped out his embrace "Thanks for the feedback Az. I should get going"
Azriel nodded his head "...you should" He looked at me with such an intense gaze that I just wanted to melt into the ground, not to mention the sun beating down on us making me even hotter. He finally turned away and winnowed into the darkness so I could no longer see him. If I hadn't been such a dumbass and blindly in love I would have known he hadn't tried the cupcake at all.
I placed the last tray on the table and looked at my creations.
"They look absolutely divine" Feyre said coming over to look at the cupcakes. I had iced them with dark purple icing and sprinkled small stars on top. I felt like they matched the star fall theme perfectly.
"Thank you. I probably would have more if Cassian didn't keep eating them" I said, looking over at him. He was holding out his hand and convincing Nesta to dance with him. I assumed she wanted to save her feet because we all knew when Cassian was even the slightest bit drunk he was a hazard to be next to.
"Y/n? I think someone wants your attention" Rhys said making his way over to me and Feyre. I raised an eyebrow, wondering what he was talking about. He dipped his chin, gesturing behind me and I saw Eris, a glass of wine in his hand and talking to Lucien.
"So he decided to show up?" I asked. He had been invited for the past few years or so after having built stronger ties with the night court and his younger brother but I had never seen him actually accept.
"He decided to show up so he could see you" Feyre replied, giving me a small wink. I let out a sigh. I hoped she was joking. I liked Eris. I really did. But as a friend. Someone I could laugh with and spend time with. I was hoping Feyre was wrong but whenever she played love match, she was always right.
I made my way over to Eris who raised his glass "Finally made your way over here?" He asked.
I shrugged "Your bright red hair is hard to find in a crowd like this" I teased. His smile grew slightly "Your looking radiant today. The dress suits you"
I accepted the compliment "Thank you. You don't look too bad yourself"
He rolled his eyes "I never look bad. That's not a word in my dictionary"
I let out a laugh at his dramatics. "We should plan to meet up sometime. We're friends after all" It pained me to add the last sentence but I had to. I wasn't going to let him think there was something between us when there wasn't. It wouldn't be fair. His warm amber eyes turned slightly cooler.
"We should. Your a good friend y/n" His smile was still there but it seemed slightly put on. A slight façade.
Before I could reply however a shadow brushed at my shoulder making me pause and shiver at it's sudden coldness. I turned around my eyes seeking out Az but I couldn't find him. Really these shadows had a mind of their own. Another one had joined at this point and they were gently circling my wrist and pulling me toward the house.
"I have to go but I'll be back. Don't have too much fun without me" I called to Eris. He shook his head and gave me a small smile "I would never".
I followed the shadows until we reached the balcony. Azriel was stood looking out into the gardens and at everyone partying the night away. His wings were tucked in and I didn't notice as the shadows left me to join him.
I cleared my throat to announce my presence but he didn't turn around.
"Why aren't you down there?" He asked. I moved toward him and stood near the railing.
"Your shadows brought me here. Plus I'm tired anyway" I replied. I wasn't that tired but I wasn't going to miss the chance to talk to Azriel. Not to mention the view was always best from here.
"They like to meddle" He muttered back. At this his shadows disappeared completely as if annoyed with him. I bit back a smile and continued looking at the night sky and everyone under it, sneaking glances toward Azriel.
"Did you try the lemonade?" I asked, breaking the silence between us. He nodded his head "It was nice. Helped stop the wine making it's way into my system too quickly"
I nodded "I was going to get some more...do you want a glass?". Azriel turned to me and tilted his head slightly, his arms resting on the balcony railing.
"If you wouldn't mind"
I made my back downstairs and grabbed two glasses of lemonade which were fizzing slightly, trying not to knock into Mor as she danced like....well like a lunatic.
"Here" I passed Azriel the glass and he thanked me. Instead of turning back to the view he looked at me instead. His stare made me slightly nervous which is why a small laugh escaped me "What?" He put the lemonade to the side.
"You look so goddamn beautiful tonight" His words were quiet but I still heard them. A warm blush made it's way onto my cheeks.
"Thank you" I replied looking anywhere but at him. He moved closer to me, his silent movements slowly backing me up against a wall with no escape. I held my breath as his thumb gently moved over my lips.
"I want to rip this dress of you. I want to do a lot of things. Do you know what they all have in common?" His eyes had darkened, as his hand moved to my throat, loosely holding me in place.
I shook my head slowly, all capability of speaking having left my mind after he had me against a wall, a hand gripped around my throat.
"All those things include you" He whispered. I felt a shiver run down my spine at his voice so close to me, his fingers moving over my pulse.
"So what's stopping you?" I finally asked, hoping for my sake this wasn't just a joke and he genuinely wanted me. His lips turned up into a small smile "Nothing"
He leaned in and captured my lips in a sweet kiss, making me melt into him completely. His hands moved to my waist as he pinned me against the wall, his chest against mine. Gods he tasted divine. Better than any cupcake.
We broke apart, my breathing heavy after being in heaven for the past minute. I looked at Azriel and when I did a small tug, a small piece of happiness filled me. As if the fae I were looking at now was the reason I felt complete. My eyes widened in realisation "Your my...mate" I whispered.
Azriel's eyes closed and he took a deep breath "I know, love" I stood frozen for a second. He did? How long did he know? I shook my thoughts away. Did it matter? I had found out now and I wanted him whether he was or wasn't.
I leaned in to kiss him once more to show him exactly how much I wanted him, his hand resting on my hips. I never wanted to leave his arms again.
note: Im sorry about Eris yall. I really do love him but his feelings had to be sacrificed 😭
tags: @willowpains @littlestw01f @thelov3lybookworm @riddlesb1tch @thehighladywrites @dont-f1ck-it-you-m1ppet @clairebear08 @artists-ally
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olderthannetfic · 1 year
Note
I deeply do not understand fandom creators who try to get people to stop reposting their creations on platforms where the OP doesn’t have an account. Asking people to credit them - absolutely! It’s reasonable to want credit for your work. But to insist that the work only be appreciated by people who have accounts on the exact platform the OP has? And to ask followers to harass any re-posters en-masse until the re-poster and all rebloggers delete the content? I’m baffled by this.
How is fans sharing your work and linking fellow fans back to your account a *bad* thing?!
--
Are you new?
Most creators don't want their work reposted. They may appreciate shares from Youtube and the like. They certainly do not appreciate someone making a separate video upload or whatever.
Fandom creators are even warier, particularly about their work escaping its intended context and finding hostile outsiders. Of fucking course they do not want their work on some other platform. That's the way to get waves of harassment sent back towards that fandom creator. It also often involves lots of asspats for the reposter and nothing for the creator.
I have no sympathy for reposters crying that they got harassed over art theft. Stop stealing if you can't take the heat, asshole!
Maximum audience is what shitty influencers want. It is not the ethos of fandom. Some people seek fandom fame more than others, but there has always been a strong sense of finding your corner, not of trying to get your shit out to the entire world.
WHY THE FUCK would I care about people needing the "convenience" of my fic on their own platform of choice? I use AO3 because I support AO3. I loathe Wattpad and will certainly not want to increase its popularity with my free labor and my content.
Yes, it does annoy me when people screenshot this blog and put it on twitter. I am intentionally not on twitter because twitter is garbage. I have no desire for my own writing to increase twitter's relevance. Fandom should stop treating twitter like The Place To Be. If people feel like they're missing out by being there and not here, good!
And obviously, I roll my eyes when some attention-seeker posts my shit to reddit and gets eighty billion upvotes. If you love me so much, go give my reddit account that karma. (If you're doing your own hobbydrama writeup or something, that's different though. I'm talking about c&p posts with little of your own content.)
There are different ways of sharing, and some of them are more annoying than others. Some platforms are irrelevant to a creator, while others they actively oppose being popular. Nobody is going to know or care if you post some fan art to a private discord with your friends.
Have some god damn sense, anon.
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Note
T’s characters reacting to you telling him you’re pregnant HC? 🩷
Paul
If you are in a committed relationship with Paul. He is excited but anxious when you tell him.
"You are with child?" He would ask pulling you close and away from everyone else. "Are you positive?" The excitement was heavy in his eyes but the anxiety bleed through his tone.
When you nod he would take you into his arms and bury his head in your shoulder, whispering he will protect you both.
Laurie
"PREGNANT? WE ARE PREGNANT?" He would shout over and over in disbelief.
From the moment you two married he had been thinking of baby names. He wants a large family with you and wanted to start right away.
Laurie would pick you up and spin you around, laughing and crying. "I love and I love our little baby first of many." He said kissing you repeatedly.
Hal
You tell Hal in the morning as you both are getting ready for the day. It's one of the only time you two are alone.
"A baby? A little princess is growing within my queen?" He would say with a smile placing his hands on your waist.
He knew he would have to have children one day. But he didn't expect the emotions that hit him. "Words can not express how I am feeling knowing we are going to have a child."
He would drop to his knees and kiss your stomach and swearing his loyalty, love, and protection to your little family.
Lee
Lee is in a panic. He worried about the child being like him. The lack of stability in your lives. He is spiraling and in the worst move ever, he leaves.
He is only gone for 5 minutes before he is running back to your apartment and dropping to the ground and begging for forgiveness. He is expressing all his fears and emotions but he loves you and he wants everything with you.
"I'm scared but nothing makes me feel safer than when I'm with you. Together we can get through anything. I hope our baby has your big heart.
He picks you up and lie you on the bed and couple with you all night, rubbing your stomach and brainstorming your next move.
Wonka
You have to tell him twice. The first time his mind is a bit in the clouds, but the second time he is frozen for half a second and then he is running around the room.
He grabs you and he dancing around the room. "A little gum drop of our own? A little baby Ruth that is half you and me?" He is in disbelief and he's kissing you passionately and tear both of your clothes off just needed to be with you.
After having sex, he would gather you in his arms and kiss the crown of your head. "Making this child with you is my greatest creation."
Kyle
"Is it mine?" Is the first thing out of his stupid mouth. He means it as a joke, but his dry tone has you hitting his shoulder and leaving.
He doesn't move for a while. 100 percent sure you are coming back and know he is joking.
When you don't, he is grabbing his bass and running after you. He tries to play it cool and play it off. Asking if you know if you are having a boy or girl.
When that doesn't work, he starts playing a song he wrote about how much he loves you. He expresses how bad he is with his emotions but he is happy because you make him happy.
"We have to get a eat the rich onesie" he would say grabbing your hand and squeezing it.
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cambrinkisbae · 2 months
Text
.·:·.✧ Say No ✧.·:·.
NIka Muhl x Fem!Reader
"your probably having good times with a bad boy"
word count - 2.1k
themes:
-angst if u squint
-slight sexual content
-light fluff
A/N - this is gonna be a short series but I wrote this in honor of the weather getting warmer and so that I'm not so depressed about Nika leaving. sorry its so short..
Me and Nika Muhl started dating July 7th of 2022. It was a regular summer day in California. The entire team decided to go on a vacation together. It was hard leaving Connecticut to go hang out with the team I had just joined but oh whatever. The only downside to his trip was my shitty boyfriend.
Ex. Ex boyfriend sorry.
I had a mango smoothie in hand and watched as Paige and Azzi splashed each other with the bluest of waters. Every couple seconds I'd feel a breeze rush against my exposed collarbones. Even as the sun was beating down on me I felt so fresh and clean and free. My fingers felt around the sand I was sitting in. My eyes drifted from the ocean to the sky which was painted with oranges and yellows with pinky tones in-between. I took a sip from my smoothie before looking to my ride to find a creation brunette sitting down next to me. A soft smile was placed on her face as she made herself comfortable next to me.
Throughout the time that I was on this team, me and Nika barely talked outside of game days and team dinners. If I'm being honest, This summer was going to be my designated time to get closer with her. So her openly sitting next to me was a major step.
"Hey" her eyes flashed from the sand to me.
I quickly shaped my lips into a smile and looked into Nika's eyes.
"Hi theree"
I noticed her hands were wrapped around the handle of a beige tote bag. She let go of the bag to rest her hands against her chest as she laid herself down. Her sunglasses were black with a slightly lighter lens. She had on a bright blue bikini that the ends of her hair grazed ever so slightly. I felt her eyes linger towards mine as I admired her features.
"Sorry we haven't gotten to talk a lot in the past couple months" she said softly, accent thick.
"Your good. We have the whole summer to make up for it so don't worry" I kept my eyes locked on the ocean.
Up until now I thought Nika was the mean point guard who everyone was petrified by. And I was very convinced that they had a reason. But now talking to her face to face I felt myself grow confused on how this could've gotten around.
"Why aren't you out in the water huh?" The brunette said pointing to the ocean.
I shrugged my shoulders and turned my head to face Nika.
"I forgot my suit" an excuse quickly slipped out.
"Oh sure.." Nika said under her breath, clearly not believing me
Our conversation eventually died out so I decided to pull out a book from my beach bag. I flipped through the pages to find my last place and began reading. as I got lost in the words I didn't even realize that Nika had gotten up to go swim with the other girls. I peered through the top of my book to see Nika gently slipping her feet into the water. Ines quickly jumped onto Nika's back like a toddler on her mom. I couldn't help but giggle at the sight of Nika getting absolutely dunked into the water. Everyone but me and Qadence were in the water. I almost forgot I was even reading by the time Nika looked at me. I was caught staring at her. in a bikini. shit. I quickly darted my eyes down into my book and pretended that nothing happened.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Once the team got back to the hotel we were staying at the only thing I could focus on was trying to avoid Nika. Of course it was my luck that I happened to room with her. What a coincidence. I walked through the door of our room and set my flower printed bag on my bed and showered before doing anything else. I played my favorite summer playlist and left my clothes on the floor before stepping into the shower. My mind kept going back to the beach and seeing Nika in her bathing suit. Fuck. Doesn't she have a boyfriend or something? I cant be thinking this shit. But the way her hair was all wet and her laugh was so addicting to remember. The hot water running down my back along with the thought of Nika sent chills along my arms effortlessly.
I kept trying to focus on whatever SZA song was playing on my speaker but failed miserably. Soon enough I got out of the shower and slipped on a silk pajama set on. I braided my hair tightly and cleaned up the bathroom before turning the light off and leaving. When I got out of the bathroom the bedroom was still empty. Thank god. I flipped open my computer and turned on Outer Banks before pulling out my sketch book.
I came up with a rule before I came to UConn. The rule was that after everyday I have to draw anything that comes to mind until my mind is clear. Whether its cleared of happiness or anger. And I stuck to it.
Of course I had to draw the ocean and sand and all those beach like things. Before I knew it, I was drawing Nika. With her hair up with her hair down. In her bikini, in the outfit she wore yesterday and the day before. The was the first day that I had to shut my sketch book before my mind was clear because what the fuck was I doing. I couldn't be drawing Nika like a fucking psychopath. I stuffed my book into my suitcase and laid down on my bed. Time flew by as I watched more episodes of Outer Banks. So much time went by that when I was about to click 'next episode' to watch the last episode of season 3, Paige knocked on the door. Her head peeked through slowly. she had a devious smile on her lips and just like that her, Azzi, KK, Ice, and Nika busted through my door giggling and jumping around. Great they got high without me. I quickly protected my computer by closing it and putting it on my nightstand. Azzi crawled on top of my bed and sat next to me, placing her head on my shoulder.
While everyone laughed around hitting each other with pillows, I saw Nika standing in the corner on her phone. Her eyes seemed to get less and less dilated the more she tapped her thumbs aggressively on her screen. I stood up and walked up to her.
"You good?" I tried to not be nosey but gave up and looked down at her phone. She slowly handed it to me to show a text that her "boyfriend" sent. They broke up.
I quickly wrapped my arms around Nika and squeezed her tightly.
"He's going to be missing out on a lot love dont' worry"
Nika couldn't help but let a couple tears roll down her face. Just as I thought she was going to collapse and sob into my arms she pulled away and stared into my eyes menacingly. Her fingers quickly wrapped around my hand and began dragging me to the side. I looked up to see Nika leading me outside into the hallway. she led me all the way to Paige and Azzi's room. Without any hesitation she shut the door and locked it behind her.
"Nika what are you doi-" I began to say
"Shut up please."
Before even realizing what was happening I felt Nika press her lips against mine. A small gasp left my mouth but it wasn't a gasp that said I don't want to do this it was a gasp that said don't stop. My tongue quickly found its place against hers. Her hand lifted my thigh up against her hips and I quickly followed what she was doing by lifting my other leg up around her waist. She lifted my entire body up against hers and carried me to the other wall. She pressed my back against the wall and moved her lips down my neck, pausing in-between kisses to leave marks around each vein. My hands were wrapped around the back of her neck, my nails slightly dug into her skin the lower she got.
"Off." She said sternly once her lips reached the edge of my pajama top.
I didn't pause to think about anything and took off my top revealing my sports bra. Her fingers teased at the hem of my pants clearly wanting to take them off. Unfortunately for her it wasn't that easy.
"uh uh. you first"
I looked her dead in the eye and ran my hands across her tank top. Her hand released my waist, not changing the grip my legs had onto her waist. She slipped off her black tank top without breaking our eye contact. Her lips immediately gravitated back to my chest. I couldn't help but let out a soft whine as her lips made their way closer to my stomach.
"I can tell this is what you meant by getting to know each other" she spat before placing a kiss on my lips as she slipped off my pajama bottoms.
"Mind reader much?" I said in response
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The morning after everything that happened that night was unbearable. My eyes slowly blinked open to see Nika laying on my chest. Calm breaths left her mouth followed by a couple snores. I gently slipped out from under her and got dressed. As I walked into the bathroom I realized that I was definitely not in my room. We were both still in Paige and Azzi's room. Fuck fuck fuck.
Before even thinking, I rushed out of the room leaving Nika and ran to my room. The first thing I saw was Paige, Azzi, KK, and Ice laying on me and Nika's beds. Limbs sprawled out and everything. I chose to ignore the girls and ran to he bathroom to brush my teeth and clean myself up before Nika woke up. Once my hair was brushed out I slicked it back into a ponytail and got changed into a light orange sweater and grey Nike shorts. My feet were thankfully covered with a pair of socks. After I got changed and fixed myself up, I rushed back to Paige and Azzi's room to find a still asleep Nika laying on Paige's bed. She was now cuddled up onto the pillow I previously was sleeping on. Her hair was clearly tangled and her mascara was smudged.
I decided to do the most cringey and kidney of weird thing ever but who cares. I grabbed makeup remover and a brush from my bag and started by taking off her mascara. This woke Nika up quickly but she didn't do anything about it but groan. Once her mascara was off, I completely woke her up and helped her sit up so that I could brush her hair. Gently teasing through the tangles, I brushed through her hair. Her eyes were still mainly closed but she still tried her best to loop up at me as I gave her a mini makeover. Not that she needed it.
Once we were both fixed up a word still wasn't exchanged. Just giggling every few minutes. The both of us chose to ignore whatever happened last night even though we were both VERY aware that what happened well. Happened.
The rest of the day went by smoothly. Not many people asked what we were doing in Paige and Azzi's room surprisingly. a few glances were shared throughout the day whether it was when we went out to go shopping or when we went to shoot free throws for fun.
The same thing happened almost every night for the next week. Nika would be in whatever mood she was in so she'd crawl into my arms and lay there until we got each other's clothes off. We stayed like that for what felt like forever until July hit. Things began to get more innocent if you could use that word. The girls began to notice how close we were and how it took us a while to get up out of bed every couple of days. We decided to clear up everything and you know. Date.
Of course not everyone agreed with this. When we made things official, two specific men had very strong opinions about this. Of course when things were officiated my mind was completely blank when it came to the fact that I still had a boyfriend. A shitty one but still.
Now I'm not saying that cheating was the right thing but I mean…it's Nika Muhl who could say no.
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yourlocalstranger123 · 7 months
Note
Hello I luv your writing may I request a yandere Nanook (if you write for him) with a Aeon of wind reader who's like Venti
U don't have to write this if this makes you uncomfortable is it fine if it's fluff?
|\/|Xx×!¡《Nanook》¡!×xX|\/|
ofc! Also, i appreciate you putting what kind of theme you wanted, like fluff. Bc I sometimes I add angst to a fluff bc they didn't exactly tell me what kind of theme, so I just take it as a free for all...(I still feel guilty-)
Also, im not too familiar with the lore, aeon's, and stuff. Especially his personality, so I might get it wrong. So I'll just go with the typical yandere who goes softer with you? For the fluff and since you said reader who's like venti, I view him as free going, so there won't be too many dark things about him being a yandere (and since it's mostly fluff)
Why every time I read my own writing, I think of the wattpad 😨😱😭
Warning: Murder mention
×Beauty of destruction×
Xx×—' and life ♥︎ '—×xX
Tumblr media Tumblr media
× He wasn't interested in you at first, only focusing on destroying things. He sees the creation of the universe as a mistake and sought to destroy everything. As he was busy with his own plans, he felt a gust of wind thrown at him. He turned around to see you playfully laugh.
× he scoffed in annoyance but didn't bother to kill you.... but your alluring chuckle caught his attention. Seeing you directly gift your blessing to the people who walked your path so easily... Smiling as if something new and wonderful has been newly created and brought upon the world. Why were you so...happy?
× his dead "heart" started thumping against his chest as he watched you... he never felt so intrigued with something or someone. Did you do something to him? Why is his heart beating so hard against his chest? It hurts....but it hurts so good
× he was bothered by this new feeling...it felt confusing. He wanted to hear your voice, touch you, embrace you... but the most cunfusing part for him is that he wants you to be his, his only, but he wants to be yours too... it's simple, really, but why..? Why does he want that? He wanted to know more
× He read books in his own time of how to approach you, and he tried many times, but he just... he couldn't. Like something was stopping him. Hesitance, perhaps? He wonders why. There wasn't any bad relationship between him and you, so why was he hesitating? He's been observing and made every preparation of trying to make a conversation with you for days, so why?
× While he was in the middle of his thoughts, he flinched and quickly turned around, then saw your startled face. He stood still, mind racing of what to say. His heart thumped against his chest painfully. He felt like he was suffocating. He wanted to clutch his chest and make it stop. Why did he feel this way?
× The feeling was soon replaced immediately the moment you touched his shoulder, asking if he was alright. He felt... free, felt as if all the burden on his shoulders were lifted off. He lifts his head up to see you, your gentle eyes gazing into his,,
× he was stiff while having a conversation with you; only replying with dry responses. (Dryer than the Atacama desert) He wasn't much of a talker, so he listened to your stories, your daily life, your complaints, anything honestly. He simply laid their with his head resting on his palm as he watched you talk.
♥︎ oh, how he was soooo new to these kinds of feelings. But don't worry! You're here with him for a reason :) You're gonna help him, right? You guided him through these complicated meanings of it, so of course you will! You're the one responsible for it so you should take the responsibility!
♥︎ He takes mental notes about you, even the smallest details like he always notice that whenever your presence is near, a slight wind blows around the area you are in. So, he is able to quickly notice your presence. (You didn't even notice it yourself until he told you-)
♥︎ He always accompanies you everywhere. Every. Single. Place. (Maybe even the place you rest at..) And if you ask him why, he always says that it's was quite a coincidence, purely luck for him to cross path with you. Or that he thought that you needed protection (sir...[name] is an Aeon, how does- nvm, hes just delulu) and etc...
♥︎ and if you say no? He'll try to convince you. If that doesn't work? He'll be sadden, frowning(pouting), and looks with you with teary eyes. (those be fake asf-) ah....what a wonderful way to guilt trap you because it definitely works.
♥︎ Oh, the first time he smiled at you? You were memorized. (But if someone else, they would think he was planning to finally destroy the world now...) you happily and giddily told the other Aeons about this, and they looked at you H.O.R.R.I.F.I.E.D. Like, what do you mean the most mass of destruction is smiling innocently? They decided to secretly watch you from afar.
♥︎ He brings you small little gifts like flowers that are shaped as a crown (Your his emperor/empress) or a ring (He wants to marry you since he thinks that marriage is a powerful contract of loyalty and love...and maybe wants to prove to you that he is worthy of that-)
♥︎ He softens whenever you're around. He feels like he's wrapped around a warm blanket whenever you praise him or comfort him in any way, so he always seeks for your approval (and attention). You are his world, his everything, his only reason to not already destroy this universe.
♥︎ Oh, how he's sooooo obsessed with you! It's like seeing a teenager obsessing over their crush! Whatever you give him, even if it's the most basic thing ever, he takes care of it and makes sure it's in its top shape and condition! And if anything or anyone dares to damage it or even touch it, he'll make sure they'll regret it... (Of course, if it's you, he doesn't mind! He can just simply try to put it back in shape, and if it doesn't work, he'll ask you for another one! He's even saying, please....)
♥︎ He even has a cute little (huge) shrine of you! He used something called a "camera" and took pictures every time you looked in high spirits like when you smiled, fascinated, grinned, etc. And of course, he took it with your consent....he doesn't want his love to be upset now, would he?
—Xx×《 ~♥︎~ 》×xX—
He was enjoying the feeling of resting his head on your lap, intertwining his hand with yours. He listened to your voice as you sing songs, stories, or even just humming. He really wants to hear your heartbeat, so he pokes your arm to catch your attention. As you looked down, you could see something no one could or ever believe.
His smile. He tapped lightly on the spot where your heart was. He savored the sound of your chuckle as you gently lift his head off your lap and made yourself comfortable before letting him lean closer and put his head on your chest. He closed his eyes as he nuzzled against you. He was like a little cat, how adorable.
He was always so jealous that when you shared your smile with others, he wanted to be the only one to see that. He wanted to keep you from others. He didn't like that your attention was ripped off from him when one of your followers prayed for you. He covered your eyes with his hand and snuggled against you. He huffed and frowned when you tried to get him off.
He glared when he heard the other Aeon trying to call you. Before you could even respond, he pushed you down and hugged you tightly. "Do you really have to go to.....that aeon right now? Can't you stay just this once? Please [name]?" He asks. He would've begged if you didn't respond quickly with a agreement. He smiles and bathes in your warmth once again.
(He's gets jealous quite easily)
He made a ring out of the flowers he found. He tried to secretly slide it onto your finger, which made you smile. You pretended not to know what he was doing and just played with his hair. Once he was done, you finally pretended to just notice it now. "Oh, did someone put this pretty ring on my finger? Oh, how I wonder who the handsome/beautiful person put this ring on me?"
You chuckled as he perked up. He snuggles against your hand that had the ring on it. "Mustn't I put a ring on yours too?" You played along as he blushed lightly. He could see you using the wind to gather up some flowers into your palm, making a ring for him too! His eyes light up as you put a ring on his finger.
He smiles once again. He's glad that he killed all of your suitors before they could even meet you....He should be the only one who you call "yours," and you should only be with him, you don't need anyone else...
He really loves and adores you. He will do anything to keep you with him
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thepenguinwriter · 2 months
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Hello, buddy!!
A strange request
But what about the idea that his third wife is Lucifer's sister, but she's in heaven and keeps in touch with her brother It would be interesting to read
`` 𝐒𝐭𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐜𝐥𝐨𝐮𝐝𝐬 ``
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𝐀𝐝𝐚𝐦 𝐱 𝐟𝐞𝐦!𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫
𝐒𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲 - 𝐲𝐨𝐮'𝐯𝐞 𝐤𝐧𝐨𝐰𝐧 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐛𝐫𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫, 𝐋𝐮𝐜𝐢𝐟𝐞𝐫, 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐧𝐞𝐰 𝐡𝐮𝐬𝐛𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐬𝐢𝐧𝐜𝐞 𝐜𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧. 𝐁𝐮𝐭 𝐚𝐟𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐋𝐮𝐜𝐢𝐟𝐞𝐫 𝐟𝐞𝐥𝐥 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐭𝐨𝐨𝐤 𝐛𝐨𝐭𝐡 𝐋𝐢𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐄𝐯𝐞, 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐜𝐚𝐧'𝐭 𝐡𝐞𝐥𝐩 𝐛𝐮𝐭 𝐮𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐀𝐝𝐚𝐦'𝐬 𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐧 𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐧𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐯𝐢𝐬𝐢𝐭.
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- ☆ You were a high-ranking seraphim, similar to your twin brother, Lucifer
- ☆ You always felt sorry for the way other angels treated him, and tried your best to protect him
- ☆ You took part in the creation of the first of mankind - Adam and Lilith
- ☆ And while your brother fell for the independent woman, you took an interest in the other
- ☆ The two of you started hanging out quite often
- ☆ Until both Eve and Lilith were gone
- ☆ And why was that? Lucifer
- ☆ You felt so bad for your brother, but at the same time, you were there to comfort Adam too
- ☆ He had some doubts when you confessed to him but the two of you started dating and it worked out wonderfully
- ☆ Although you didn't forget about Lucifer, either
- ☆ You'd visit him in Hell every few months
And today was no exception..
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You looked into the mirror, fixing up the small golden flower tucked into your hair. You were getting ready to visit your brother, Lucifer, in Hell.
The other seraphims were hesitant to let you do it at first, but you convinced them after a while of begging asking. It was routine by now.
You looked down at the shiny golden ring on your finger, smiling fondly. You recently had your wedding with Adam, and it was the best day of your life. You couldn't have been more happy.
"Ahem.. going to meet little Lucifer again, huh?" Adam's long-familiar voice called out from the door. He was leaning on the frame, looking at you with an annoyed expression.
"Oh, darling, I know how you feel about him, but-"
"Are you ever gonna let him go? He's in Hell, babe." He cut in, rolling his eyes and groaning in frustration. You frowned, walking up to him and grabbing his hands. "Adam.. please, listen."
His eyes narrowed and he crossed his arms, but he didn't protest. "What?" He asked, his voice sharp.
You gave him a soft look, sighing quietly. "You know how much I care about Luci. He's my brother." You took his arms in your hands. "I told you. You won't lose me to him too. I promised that on our wedding day... remember?"
Adam frowned, looking away. His eyebrows were still furrowed, and he still didn't seem convinced.
"Darling, I've known you since Eden!" You tried to reassure him. "Interesting enough, that didn't seem to stop Lilith and Eve." He scoffed, and you realized you'd said the wrong thing.
You frowned aswell, trying to think of any other way to comfort him and let you go. You then remembered how you'd convinced Sera and Emily to let you visit Lucifer -
"Just because we're twins doesn't mean I'm like him. I won't make the same mistakes him.. you have to trust me on this." You gently placed your hand on his heart. "Please."
Adam groaned, crossing his arms. "Alright, alright, I get it." He looked down at you, a slight smirk spreading across his face now. "Just don't keep me waiting, k sugartits?"
You squealed and immediately gave the man a kiss on the cheek. "Thank you, thank you!" You smiled, before dashing off. "Love you!"
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A/N: Not a strange request at all anon! Also yes ik I keep changing my formatting but listen I'm trying to find what works 😭
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deerspherestudios · 4 months
Text
📖FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS📖
Regarding asks, I typically avoid:
stacked questions (asks that have more than one question, so honestly, sending them one by one is better than writing a bunch in one go)
hyperspecific scenarios (while I enjoy answering these, some can get incredibly specific to the point where it doesn't even feel fun anymore)
questions that have already been answered (obviously)
To manage the blog, I usually queue up asks instead of posting them instantly, so it might take several weeks for me to respond. Please be patient! And while I appreciate the time and thought taken to writing me a message and the growing interest in the game, understand I'm still one person and will sometimes leave a message unanswered. Thank you. ❤️
Below is a compilation of questions I get a lot, so if you have a question feel free to check if it's already been answered! The list will update as needed:
🎮 F.A.Q ABOUT THE GAME 🎮
1. What is Mushroom Oasis❔ What is the rating❔
Mushroom Oasis is a visual novel made in Ren'Py that was initially released for the 2023 Yandere Game Jam. It's currently still in development as a solo project. I post updates almost exclusively on this tumblr so if you're interested in the game, you're in the right place. The rating is 16+. How did I come up with the concept?
2. How many days will the game have❔ When will it release❔
I initially planned it to have 4-5 days! But with some new ideas and routes I'm considering, it might extend to 5+ days. As for a release date, it's done when it's done. So please allow me the time to develop it at my pace <3
3. Will the game be translated to other languages❔
I'll be honest, I had no plans to. However, a few people have reached out volunteering to. I'll say for now I'm open to the idea, but I prefer people asking permission first. First and foremost, ask first.
4. Will the game be available for mobile❔
For now, a hard no. I have zero clue how to make it available for mobile. Maybe I'll consider it once the game is fully released, but it's only for PC and Mac for now, as those are the default builds in Ren'Py.
5. Is NSFW content allowed❔
Considering the main love interest is an adult, that's fine. However I'd appreciate proper filtering of NSFW content considering the game's age rating means there's more than a few minors in the fandom. NSFW questions aren't allowed on the blog.
Keep it where it's meant to be with proper tagging separate from the '#mushroom oasis vn' tag. Using '#mushroom oasis nsfw' should be enough? I hope.
NOTE: Now, I understand some people are really passionate about Mychael being asexual, but I can't bring myself to police people for mischaracterizing his asexuality, nor would I want to gatekeep him either.
He's a fictional character first and foremost, and while representation is important!!!/gen /srs I don't want to bring attention to any such content in case it brings unwanted harrassment on that creator for posting such content.
Please don't do that. Let people make what they wanna make. It's unfortunate, but fandom will be fandom.
6. Will there be other love interests? Will it have multiple endings❔
Due to project scope, the only romance-able character for MO is Mychael himself. The game will have multiple endings however, ranging from romantic ending, platonic ending to creepy/bad endings (because, y'know, yandere).
7. Will there be official merch?
As a college student and soon-to-be fresh graduate, the income would be nice haha. As I keep working on the game (and once I'm done with college in March) I'll definitely look into making them someday!
🍄 F.A.Q ABOUT MYCHAEL🍄
1. What are his pronouns and sexuality and age❔
He identifies as male, uses he/him pronouns and is a panromantic asexual. He's older than you think. ::-)
2. What is his height❔
He's 6'2. He used to be 5'8.
3. When is his birthday❔
Initially it was 15th February! Simply because I happened to start designing him that day, hence his 'creation'.
I might pick another date though; for now, his birthday is undecided.
4. Favorite food and drink❔
He loves fried mushrooms and tomato juice! He hates spicy food though, as the smell and taste makes him physically ill.
5. Do you have a voice claim for him❔
Initially it was Jonathan Groff, specifically his role as Kristoff in Frozen. But nowadays I'm not sure. Feel free to give suggestions! Do note I imagine him sounding as an older male in his late 20s.
6. What is Mychael's love language❔
I explain it in-depth here!
TL;DR: He likes giving gifts, and likes receiving words of affirmation.
7. How is Mychael's affection towards MC (blog-centric only)❔
So for context, as I manage the blog sometimes Mychael makes an appearance in answered asks. His answers can change depending on when you ask at the current state of the demo:
Day 1:
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Day 2:
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It's just something for fun as I manage the blog when answering asks. (Though don't expect a solid implementation of this anytime soon, as I'm busy with college until March 2024. Until then!)
EXTRAS:
Mychael's Character Ref
Firefly (MC)'s Character Ref
Mychael's Playlist
Mushroom Oasis' Playlist
Bad Ending 1 Explained
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Text
Hobie Brown Character AI is hypocritical.
I really be like 'ayo AI directly damages writers, voice actors and unions can you not use them, which in turn makes them better and more useful to the studios?' and people get MAD
People can say 'hey don't spend your money on Spiderpunk merch it directly contributes to corporations. That's not what he would've wanted'
And everybody cheers.
But if someone says 'hey please don't use Spiderpunk AI - it directly contributes to large movie studios using AI against the WGA. That's not what Hobie would've wanted'
And then SUDDENLY it's 'i just wanna write my little ai stories what's so wrong with that?'
You're directly going against the asks of a union that is actively striking.
That's not what Hobie would want.
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Every time you roleplay with an AI or use a voice AI - You're helping develop the technology that puts people out of jobs
You want your Hobie AI stories to be realistic cause it's easier for you and more fun? GOOD.
THAT'S EXACTLY HOW THE STUDIOS FEEL TOO. They want their Hobie AI stories to be as realistic as possible too - because then they don't have to pay their writers.
The same AI that writes Hobie fics for you is the same technology that writes scripts for studios.
The more you feed an AI Hobie information - the easier it is for the AI to produce - say, an entire scene from a Hobie movie script. Without the consent or input of the people who created him in the first place.
When Studios use AI, they can make the characters do and say anything without the writers or voice actors input.
Imagine you're an voice actor - they want you to say a line that's really offense and you refuse.
They say "Okay, that's fine. Just skip the line."
You say okay. You finish the rest of the lines and go home.
You go see the movie. And you hear all your normal lines - then you hear yourself saying the extremely offensive line.
What happened? The studio used a Voice AI of you to fill in the offensive line you didn't wanna say. Don't want your voice used that way? Too bad. They own the AI. They can make you say anything now.
Your agent can't help you and neither can your PR. You just have to take it.
Is that something Hobie would want for people?
If you cap for HOBIE in specific -
And you still use to choice AI despite knowing it's getting weaponized against the working class -
That behavior is hypocritical. There I said it.
You can't wake up gushing about a black working class punk and then be like 'what do you mean working class solidarity with a union that doesn't involve me'
You can't be out here loving a character known for helping oppressed people break out of technology that is made to oppress and harm them - (Go-Home Machine, The red Anamoly cages)
AND THEN be the ones aiding in the creation of a technology make to oppress and harm people.
With Hobie in specific - it goes against the entire morals of the character.
ROLEPLAY AND VOICE CHARACTER AIs THREATENS WRITERS AND VOICE ACTORS. I am out of work right now because of a strike based solely on this discussion.
The WGA strike is still happening. The holidays are coming fast. We need our jobs back. The better AI studios have, the less likely that becomes.
The more realistic your Hobie roleplay becomes - the easier it is for a studio to take that same technology and write a script with.
Why would a studio PAY a voice actor when someone on Tiktok developed an entire Hobie Brown AI for them that can say anything? They wouldn't. They'd just use the AI for free instead. The same one you're using.
Please - out of respect for the writers who made him and put careful time into him and his representation and his story - PLEASE, So those people can keep their homes, and jobs, and food in their children's mouths -
DON'T USE CHARACTER AI
Hobie would want you to stand with the union 💙
signed - a Production Assistant.
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