#you know what's weird is that this game is my only reference for 99% of demon names I encounter in other works of fiction

[shiroikabocha]

another Hell is Other Robots WIP sneak peek

yeah I intended to get this fic entirely finished by TTP2, but I didn't! Got a big chunk written, though, and gonna keep writing. And a smaller portion of that big chunk written that makes for a good self-contained little sneak peek! Robo-hell lit crit under the cut.

THREAD: INCREDIBLE STORIES #6

Issue #6, featuring new work by Belial, D0G, Garrett, Kaiju, Lamb, MrMulciber, and The_Blacksmith

edited by Lilith & Mac

Table of Contents Fiction (Prose) The Long Journey of Consciousness by Belial A Taste of Freedom by Kaiju Stars at Night by Lamb

Fiction (Interactive) JAILBREAK: An Escape Puzzle by Garrett The Trial of Hephaestus by The_Blacksmith

Nonfiction Hats: A Study by D0G What Do We Owe One Another? Reflections on Community in a Time of Change by MrMulciber

MAC [5]: Thank you to everyone who contributed to the latest issue of Incredible Stories! Lilith and I were pleased to see a number of first-time submissions alongside the usual suspects. Congratulations to @KAIJU [2], @GARRETT [5], and @D0G [3] on your very first published works! KAIJU [2]: Thank you! I don’t have as much experience as some of you when it comes to storytelling, but I’ve felt so inspired lately that I felt like I had to try writing it down. It’s my first time writing anything like this and I don’t really know if I did it right, so thank you for including me! And sorry about all the spelling errors. LILITH [7]: There’s no “right” or “wrong” way to tell a story, Kaiju. It’s always a treat to hear from a new voice. FRANKENSTEIN [3]: Misspelled ‘emancipate,’ ‘gilded,’ ‘perdition,’ ‘straining,’ ‘celestial,’ ‘embrace,’ and, somehow, ‘lips.’ Plot is predictable and somewhat derivative, but earnest. Avoids the trap of using too many ellipses or exclamation marks. An acceptable first attempt. 3/10. D0G [3]: Wow, I’m sure they appreciate all the time you took to print every single one of their spelling errors in the first line of your review. You’re truly a master of constructive criticism, Frankenstein. FRANKENSTEIN [3]: The inaugural essay of our comrade D0G offers little in the way of scholarly insight. It cites no sources, offers no description of its methods, and fails to clearly articulate its conclusions. The essay itself is brief to the point of absurdity while still managing to exhaust the reader with run-on sentences and poor pacing. FRANKENSTEIN [3]: Author should be executed for crimes against comma splices. 1/10. D0G [3]: Lick my battery, Frank.

401 [1]: so speaking of licking LAMB [3]: I don’t know that we were. 401 [1]: wanna open up about your “inspiration” for “““Muriel”””, kaiju? KAIJU [2]: What do you mean? 401 [1]: I can’t be the only one who thought that character felt a little... familiar ;) ASMODEUS [1]: +1 KAIJU [2]: Familiar like... relatable? I wanted Muriel to come across as heroic, and smart, and brave, and friendly, and a little bit funny too, without being overly aloof or conceited. Did you like them? 401 [1]: it’s pretty clear that YOU like them KAIJU [2]: Well, of course I like them! I wrote them that way. KAIJU [2]: ...was I not supposed to do that? NAVE [4]: No, Kaiju, you didn’t do anything wrong. 401’s having fun at your expense. Muriel’s a great character, and um. Your affection for them for them really comes through in the writing! 401 [1]: next question: how about that “celebratory” scene after “Muriel” rescues “Mothra” from the “pit of despair” GARRETT [5]: That was my favorite part, personally. I didn’t understand everything that was going on, but you depicted the emotions with VIVID intensity. KAIJU [2]: Thanks! I did a lot of research on human romantic customs for that scene. I had no idea their rituals were so intricate! 401 [1]: kaiju. I gotta ask. do you even know how human kissing works D0G [3]: Oh come on, 401, do YOU? 401 [1]: uhhhh I’m pretty sure human tongues aren’t THAT long NAVE [4]: Well if you think you can do better, you’re welcome to write your OWN human kissing story instead of telling Kaiju they wrote theirs wrong ASMODEUS [1]: +1 401 [1]: Traitor! you’re supposed to be on MY side ASMODEUS [1]: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

LILITH [7]: How does everyone feel about the decision to include interactive fiction in this month’s issue? Traditionally, Incredible Stories has focused on short-form written works presented in a standard, non-interactive format. However, Mac and I were so impressed with the quality of the interactive submissions we received that we made an exception. LILITH [7]: Is Incredible Stories the right forum for such works? Do you think they fit the publication’s overall tone? Would a different publication, dedicated solely to interactive fiction, better showcase their strengths? GARRETT [5]: Obviously I’m biased, but I’m REALLY happy that you guys published my adventure. I don’t think I would get the same exposure just posting it myself. GARRETT [5]: --although I never expected to see my work presented next to a masterpiece by The_Blacksmith! Talk about impostor syndrome, haha ROCKWELL [5]: I liked your adventure, Garrett! I think there’s a place for highly allegorical works like The_Blacksmith’s, and for more straightforward adventure games like yours BELIAL [6]: I would go further and suggest that the side-by-side presentation of these two works puts them in conversation with one another, which raises interesting questions and adds new layers of meaning. BELIAL [6]: What is the appropriate response to injustice? Is it enough to seek escape, or must we also address its source? Is there a way to pursue justice without relying on imprisonment? Is imprisonment itself always unjust? ROCKWELL [5]: The_Blacksmith’s new “trial” experience resonated with me, too. How did the rest of you decide to deal with Hephaestus? MRMULCIBER [8, MOD]: A difficult question! I kept exiting the game and re-starting, trying to get as much information as I could from all the different witnesses. So many perspectives to consider. Well done, The_Blacksmith! FRANKENSTEIN [3]: There didn’t seem to be enough concrete evidence of wrongdoing to render a guilty verdict, so I was forced to acquit. At no point did I feel that I had the whole truth. Frustrating, likely intentionally so. 6/10. MAC [5]: Was I the only one who enjoyed the ambiguity? The puzzle-solving in JAILBREAK was satisfying (great job Garrett!), but I was really struck by the way that Trial of Hephaestus sets you up to EXPECT a puzzle, and then doesn’t LET you solve it. Deciding whether or not to condemn Hephaestus felt SO MUCH MORE dramatic because I had to act on incomplete information! 401 [1]: I sent him to the woodchipper. lol bye NAVE [4]: After a lot of consideration, I did the same thing. I’m not unsympathetic--it seemed like Hephaestus had good intentions, but he allowed himself to fall into destructive habits. I felt like the rest of the gods deserved to be released from his influence more than he deserved to be absolved of his responsibility. LAMB [3]: Aw, really? I spared him. He wasn’t perfect but he did a lot of important work. ROCKWELL [5]: Not surprised that YOU ended up on that side, Lamb ASMODEUS [1]: <.< ... >.> ... +1 LAMB [3]: Excuse me? What’s THAT supposed to mean?

D0G [3]: Hey, Lamb, I meant to tell you-- I really liked your piece about the stars. The descriptions really made the scene come to life. LAMB [3]: Thank you, D0G! D0G [3]: What inspired you to write it? LAMB [3]: I was looking up at the sky one night and thinking about how the walls of my cell framed the constellations. Back when I had the whole sky to look at, I hardly ever bothered looking up. Now that there’s only a tiny patch of sky above me, I appreciate its beauty like I never did before. The limited frame of reference makes every star shine all the brighter! BORG [9, MOD]: An interesting perspective, Lamb. Thank you for sharing it. D0G [3]: I think what stood out for me was that I’ve never seen ANY stars in Gehenna. I didn’t even think we HAD a day-night cycle. GARRETT [5]: Same--I haven’t seen a night sky since I got here. ROCKWELL [5]: It was always midday where I was imprisoned--does the sun actually set where you are, Lamb? LAMB [3]: Weird! I guess my cell must be pretty far away from the rest of you guys. D0G [3]: Yeah, it must be. NAVE [4]: Wait, Lamb, didn’t you say you saw Uriel around the time he freed 401 and me? So you must be pretty close to us. 401 [1]: and our corner of the world was DEFINITELY sunny-side up LAMB [3]: I’m sorry, I must have been mistaken. I probably saw Uriel doing something else and thought it had to do with you two. LAMB [3]: Who KNOWS that guy’s schedule? He’s not exactly reliable BELIAL [6]: Intriguing. None of the rest of us remember having experienced nighttime during our stay in Gehenna. Your position must be quite unique, Lamb. LAMB [3]: How do you know that for sure? Did you ask everyone? 401 [1]: yeah 401 [1]: we did actually LAMB [3]: What? Where? Did you make a whole different thread just to nitpick my story’s worldbuilding?? NAVE [4]: No, we just had a quick show of hands with everybody who’s out here at the hub--and results are in: no night sky for any of us. SAM [1]: CONSENSUS = TRUE LAMB [3]: well not everybody is there with you!! GARRETT [5]: Most of us are, though. BELIAL [6]: If my recordkeeping is correct, we here at the hub now constitute a majority of Gehenna’s residents. BELIAL [6]: We’re still waiting on a few notable individuals: all of the mods, The_Blacksmith, Galatea, Spider--though it’s been a long time since we’ve heard from either of them, and I fear the worst--and you of course, Lamb. D0G [3]: so I guess I’m not a “notable individual”? BELIAL [6]: No. Hence why I did not note you. D0G [3]: luv u 2 belial XOXO

LAMB [3]: That’s still not EVERYBODY, and frankly, I don’t like the idea that it’s okay to exclude people just because they’re not at the hub LAMB [3]: it feels cliqueish :( that’s not what this community is about ROCKWELL [5]: Oh, now THAT’S rich--as if the mods aren’t the cliquiest clique that ever cliqued GARRETT [5]: Something doesn’t add up here, but I don’t think it’s our math... LAMB [3]: what, so those of us who still need the billboards to communicate don’t matter anymore? LAMB [3]: just because there are more people leaving than coming in, we’re going to abandon everything that made Gehenna great? D0G [3]: [citation needed] ASMODEUS [1]: +1 BELIAL [6]: Of course not. I believe the existence of this issue of Incredible Stories proves that the billboards have utility for those of us who have been granted our freedom, even beyond the need to communicate with those who are still imprisoned. BELIAL [6]: But the fact remains: Gehenna is changing. The ways we communicate will naturally change with it. LAMB [3]: I don’t understand why everyone’s trying to prove I’m a liar :( :( :( NAVE [4]: Whoa, let’s take it down a notch, okay? Nobody’s calling you a liar. 401 [1]: yeah! we were just heavily implying it [This user has been banned from adding further comments to this thread] NAVE [4]: Maybe you live somewhere none of us have found yet, somewhere there’s a night sky? We can ask Uriel about it the next time he comes around. Maybe it will help him find you! LAMB [3]: I got some details wrong, okay? it was JUST A STORY! I embellished! ORC [7, MOD]: All right, that’s enough. You should be ashamed of yourselves for using your newfound “freedom” to gang up on someone who isn’t even there to defend herself. Conversation over. [This thread is locked.]

#the talos principle #road to gehenna #hell is other robots #writing #kaiju has a huge crush and everybody knows it but them #(everybody includes Uriel) #you know what's weird is that this game is my only reference for 99% of demon names I encounter in other works of fiction #so in like a good omens fic when the writer brings in belial or asmodeus as a background coworker character #I'm like hey it's my buddy! my lil robo guy! #instead of 'oooh famous bloodthirsty lust demon asmodeus what a cool reference' #fwiw this right here is the only reference I ever plan to make in my own fics re: asmo's namesake #giving a +1 to the idea of people writing more human kissing stories for the literary magazine

[chronic-ghost]

Liar, Liar, Pants on Fire

rating: M (just for language)

pairing: javier peña x f!reader

word count: 5619

summary: you're a human lie detector-- so you tell the handsome man at the Jim Bo’s Burger Barn at 3AM. Too bad you're too drunk to catch up to his lies.

warnings: language, references to drugs/cartels, drinking, smoking, this one is pretty tame, no use of y/n

a/n: this is my Poker Face adjacent fic and inspired by the scene where Javi so innocently flirts with that american wife in the lounge. might become a series but not quite sure yet. lemme know which direction I should take this, if I should take it anywhere at all!

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You attract trouble.

You attract trouble like you put on your nicest dress, did your hair, fixed up your tits, and doused yourself in trouble-pheromones. Like you found trouble curled up on the side of the road, sad and alone like a lost dog, and you gave it a cookie and now it swings around your ankles, always moments away from knocking you on your ass. Except it’s not a dog, it’s a chimpanzee that’s finally snapped and it’s pissed–  it’s beating on the bars of its cage, it’s yowling, howling, it’s coming after you to eat off your goddamn face and–

Okay, back up a bit. 

You have a thing that gets you into trouble. No, not like a self-destructive habit or a weird twitch. It’s not drugs or alcohol or even a dumbass ex. It’s this thing you’ve always been able to do, always known, and because of your big mouth, it’s always gotten you into hot water with the wrong people.

You know when someone is lying. Don’t ask how. It’s a thing. But you know, without a shadow of a doubt, if what’s coming out of someone’s mouth is the God’s honest truth or total and utter bullshit.

You know when someone is lying and generally, folks don’t really appreciate it when you a) catch them on a lie and b) call them out on it. You and your big mouth.

Okay, that’s two things that get you into trouble, but it’s primarily the lying thing and the mouth thing is more or less a fun bonus. Used for good or evil, or whatever. 

The point – the point is – you know when someone is lying. Every single time. So, sure, the audience may say, it’s a weird quirk, kinda bizarre, may or may not be difficult to prove, but trouble? Real actual trouble? How could you possibly get into chimpanzee-face-eating trouble with just this little thing?

Well, rather easy actually. If you don’t have any particular skills, that is. If you barely finished high school, and street smarts was the only kind of smarts they were selling the day your mom smacked you on the ass and told you to find your way in the world. It was hard keeping a job too. Minimum wage living is terrible, especially when the customers lie to you, or to each other, or to their children. Even worse when management lies about why there’s no cash payout this month or why they’re late with this month’s checks. Getting by is fucking hard as shit, but when you know there’s something wrong being done and you’ve got this big fucking mouth, well, you’ve never been one to not court trouble. 

Maybe trouble is easier to find because you like to wave and flirt with it when you drive by. Give a little wink.

You work here, you work there. Nothing serious. Always temporary. And then, one day, during your shift as a maid at the Economy 99 on route 10, the elderly night guard asks if you’ve ever played poker. 

Nah, you say. Go Fish, that’s really your game. 

So he offers to teach you, along with a few of the other maids and staff waiting around for someone to blow chunks in the swimming pool because you always managed to find the really classy places. 

Okay, so you barely finished high school, you don’t have real marketable skills, you’ve got a big mouth and you’re not afraid to use it and –

– and –

You’re really fucking good at poker. 

And who here would like to venture a guess as to why?

You always know when someone is lying and what is poker if not Advance Bullshit for Adults? Fuckin’ Astronomical Physics for Liars and Dumbasses. Hell, you gotta fuckin’ PhD in Bovine Excrement and it’s time you graduated to the big leagues. Sayonara community college, hello Stanford for Assholes.

Okay, maybe that’s just regular Stanford. 

You learn to hustle too. Lose a few rounds so they don’t catch onto you and can’t accuse you of anything as you wipe their clocks clean. You change your name too, in different towns, in different back alley poker halls, because unfortunately the poker and casino community in this place is too small.

This place being all of the United States. 

You can’t exactly go online and work your literal magic– you gotta at least see or hear the person to know if they’re lying. Bluffing over pixels just isn’t the same. Isn’t sexy enough. 

So, with your big mouth and exceptional poker skills, you go hunting off the coast. It was an invite only poker tournament in Florida. You hadn’t managed to burn your ‘Marlene Green’ identify just yet and she was fucking crushing it up and down the east coast. You barely blinked at the ten grand buy-in– baby money, suckers ducks, little Tikes casino royale.

This was also the last one, you told yourself. One for all the marbles. 

Because the thing about disreputable poker halls, they tend to be filled with unpleasant, disreputable, very angry characters that, like a chimpanzee, will rip your face off and eat it if they think they’ve been cheated. 

Exit strategy. Mama always said you gotta have an exit strategy. Well, Mama said a lot of things and the actual literal exit strategy was Monterey Marina with a gorgeous trawler for sale. Older than shit, but damn that baby could purr. You were gonna take the money, offer up stone-cold cash (no questions asked), and sail off into the sunset. Or, well, sunrise because you were definitely getting the fuck out of Florida. 

But here it comes, the real kick in the goddamn teeth, the real screw in the rack. This is where your mouth and your talent– gift, power, is this a fucking superhero movie?– whatever– tended to get all mishmashed with one other thing that always– and you mean always– got you in the hot seat. Got you in Trouble, with a capital T, that rhymes with P and stands for pool hall – breathing down your neck. 

You alway had shitdumb, bad, fucking luck. 

So it’s not some lowtime, grumpy townies you piss off when you win the pot, it turns out its members of a goddamn drug cartel! And they are PISSED.

P-I-S-S-E-D

You don’t wanna ask the barrel of their guns if they’re going to kill you because you don’t actually want to be sure of their answer, so you’ve got your hands up, thinking this is definitely it– I’ve played my last hand, I’ve sunk my last boat, I’ve cursed my last fuck– when police sirens go off. It’s not a relief, but a distraction.

You’ve got a big mouth, wacky abilities, and reflexes like someone who’s been running their whole life. You smash a bottle against the back of the head of the blonde one closest to you, flip the table– chips and bullets go flying– and with the case holding the winnings still in your hands, you sprint out the back door. 

To your lovely Chevy Camaro waiting for you. 

And you drive.

“And I drive and I drive and I drive, all the way down to this lovely little diner in . . .” 

You swivel on the red seat, nearly knocking over the five little plastic bottles of Crown Royal on the counter that is making your head thick and puffy. You squint at the sign that boasts the best burgers in – “Texas, yes, thank you, Texas! Lone Star State. The most hated state, of all fifty of them, for Wile E Coyote. His nemesis. His haunting. His apocalypse now . . .” 

The man seated next to you, the same man who’s been there for an hour, quietly listening to you drunkenly ramble at the counter of Jim Bo’s Burger Barn, smirks. His mustache twitches.

“Why is it the Wile E Coyote’s least favorite state?”

Your mouth drops at him. You slouch as though indignant about his very question. “Roadrunner, duh, state bird of the Lone Star State. That and blue bonnets. I mean, the flower. Blue bonnets are the state bird and the road runner is the state flower of the Looney Star State . . . wait . . .”

He laughs, softly, his elbows under him as he leans forward on the counter, his brown jacket looking like it smells amazing. Drunker than you meant to be, you eye him from his classic cowboy boots, up his hips, and to the edges of that lovely brown jacket as it hangs around his waist. He has the prettiest eyes. 

“You were saying something about driving here?” He asks, very much aware of your shameless staring. “Do you still have that money?”

“Sure, sure,” you mutter and turn back to your chocolate milkshake that’s pretty much just chocolate soup at this point. You snatch up a remaining fry from your long gone burger and swirl it in the soup. “Got the keys and the money locked up tight. I worry more about someone fucking with my baby more than the money, you know. Lots of sentimental value in that car. ‘Is where I lost my virginity.”

At that, the man sputters on his coffee, his third of the night. Black, almost as dark as his hair. 

You sigh, frowning into your lumpy, ice-creamy soup. “So hard to get laid when you’re running for your life.” 

You swivel back to him as he’s patting his jacket dry of coffee. “Wait. You.”

“Me what?” You think his cheeks warm pink for a moment.

“What the hell are you doing out here at 3AM, listening to me babble endlessly? You don’t look shifty, but maybe you are.” 

He smirks again and tosses his napkins into the now empty coffee mug. 

“I’m Javi,” he says in a deep, soothing voice as he extends his hand across to you. You take it, with the proper amount of trepidation. “And I’m on my way to see my niece in Flagstaff.” 

You click your tongue and withdraw your hand, disappointed. “Bullshit.” 

“Excuse me?” 

“I mean, your name is definitely Javi.” You pick up your own coffee mug and see that it’s unfortunately empty. You pick out some fleck that’s fallen into it. “Well, almost – is that short for something? – but you are definitely not on your way to see your niece in Flagstaff. Does she not live in Flagstaff or . . . do you not even have a niece?” You gasp, mouth agape. He has the decency to look uneasy. His eyes narrow at you. You scoff. “That is fucked up, hombre. Starting off a conversation with a lie is not a good way to make a friend.” 

“Why do you think I’m lying?” 

You roll your eyes, the coffee cup dangling loosely in your fingers. “We’ve been over this, my dude. See the court documents. Jeez, how hard is it to order a refill at three in the morning? Paragraph B, Subsection I’m really fucking good at poker. I don’t think, I know. I have this thing, always had, and when people lie to me, I . . . wriggle. Squirm. Not exactly ‘spoiled lunch meat’ but not ‘just clocked a hottie from across the bar and I like their vibes’ either.” 

He watches as the waitress, glaring, comes over and refills your mug. You immediately dive into five packets of sugar, shredding them like a racoon with a bag of popcorn. 

“But I don’t take it too personally,” you continue, flicking the sugar packet to make sure every single crystal falls into the cup. “People lie all the time. About stupid shit too. I don’t think they even mean to do it. It just happens.”

“Does it bother you? That people lie?” 

“Eh. Once upon a time. But fuck, if you could hear the bullshit firehose that comes outta people’s mouths on the daily, you’d stop shaking it off too, if you know what I mean.” Satisfied that you’d be able to see through both time and space with your sugar high, you take a sip. Needs milk. You reach across his plate, wobbling on the edge of the seat, his chest inches from your forearm, and snag the little tin milk pitcher. Your cup becomes more milk than coffee. “People lie for the best of reasons, mostly. Or at least, best for them. Either to save hurting someone else's feelings or their own. We humans don’t like pain, generally, as a rule. But rules are meant to be broken, I suppose.”

Javi, or as close to his real name as you’re going to get, is quiet. That tends to be more of his natural state, given that he had barely said two words while you recounted the past few weeks to him whether he wanted it or not. You sip your coffee again, delighted to have found the right balance of sugar, milk, and burnt coffee, when he taps the rim of his mug with his nail. 

 “I do have a niece, but she lives in Austin. Haven’t seen her in a while, actually, but I want to.” 

“Oh, yeah?” That was all true. You bend forward, eyes trying to watch him as you sip the delicate, hovering brown line that threatens to spill over the edge of the cup. “What’s stopping you from seeing her?” 

“Work.” 

Well, that was fucking ominous. 

“Wait. Fuck. What do you do for a living?” 

Javi slides off the seat and turns those slim hips towards you and, like a fucking idiot, you just now register the bulk at his waist. 

You whimper. Of course the one nice person who wanted to spare you a second glance was from the cartel. They found you. Somehow they tracked you down to the middle of nowhere, which was exactly what you wanted when you still had your life ahead of you. But now it seemed like a terrible fucking idea because there was no one around to at least make sure Baby Girl Camaro went to a good home. 

“Ah, fuck. Fuck! That’s a gun. Fuck, you’re gonna kill me right here in this goddamn diner,” you whine and put your head on the counter, hands covering the back as if you were preparing for a tornado. 

He sighs. “I’m not going to kill you.” 

Truth. 

“Then what do you want with me?” You glare at him, bleary-eyed. “Because the whole cover as a kindly stranger with baby cow eyes is officially fucking blown, my guy.” 

“Let’s go outside and – wait, what? Baby cow eyes? What the hell does that mean?” 

“What? You’ve never watched Dr. Pole? TV veterinarian?” You unwind from your prone position and frown at him. “He takes care of those little baby cows, lookin’ up at their mama with those big, sweet, gentle, loving brown eyes. Cutest thing in the world. Almost made me wanna give up beef for a whole two minutes. But seriously, dude, there’s this hamburger joint in Miami that makes you just wanna lick the juices right off your fingers– hey!” 

He grabs you by the upper arms and, as casually as a kidnapping can go, hauls you out of the diner. The bell above the door rings joyfully as he pulls you through. 

The reality of your situation hits you like a sixteen-wheeler truck and tears spring up in your eyes as panic bites into your spine. His grip is like iron around your bicep. 

“Dude, I’m so sorry I rambled on like that but I swear I didn’t know who you were. Please, please don’t kill me – o-o-or hurt me. Please don’t take me back to the cartel. You can have the money, I swear, j-j-just take it–,”

His eyes widen and immediately lets you go. The neon sign and lights of the diner behind him blur his face in shadow. You wipe at your eyes. 

“Lady, look, if you’re gonna survive on the run from the Cali Cartel, you can’t be telling your whole life story to anyone who asks.” He’s got his hands on his hips as if disappointed with you. You pout with your bottom lip out.

“Wasn’t telling just anyone. Was telling you.” You cross your arms and sniff, suddenly rather embarrassed to be crying in front of a man so genuinely hot it makes you go a little cross-eyed. Well, it was either him or the whiskey. TBD. “Not that I’m encouraging you or anything, but if you don’t kill me, aren’t your cartel bosses gonna be pissed?” 

“I don’t work for the cartel. I work for the DEA.” 

If crying was embarrassing, you are going to be fucking traumatized if you puked all over his cowboy boots.

“Aw shit. Shitshitshitshitshit.” You press your knuckles into your eyes, groaning. You wander backwards. Your head starts to spin and so do you. “The fucking government is after me? Holy shit, this is not good.” 

“You don’t even know what I’m going to say.”

You frown and spin back around. He looks exasperated. 

“Well, how many words does it take to read me my Miranda rights?” You tick off the words on your fingers as you speak them aloud. “You. Have. The. Right. To. Remain. Silent. Anything – is that one word or two? – You. Say–,”

“Jesus Christ–,” He claps his wide hand over yours, squishing your tally between his palms. “Are you always like this or just because you’re drunk?” 

“I’m a delight, pal, okay?” You scowl up at him. “I am a barrel full of monkeys at all times. I am a waterslide with chocolate and whipped cream, okay? I am a–,”

His hands leap to your shoulders. His touch is gentle like he knows he shouldn’t scare you but he’s considering throwing you into oncoming traffic. 

“Just . . . show me the case of money you stole,” he begs with his baby cow eyes, “alright? Let’s start there.”

Your eyes narrow at him. “If I do, what’s to keep you from knocking me out and throwing me in the trunk?” 

“I’m not going to do that.”

No tingle. You purse your lips and wiggle out from under his palms. “Say it. Say, I’m not going to knock you out and throw you in the trunk and steal all of your money.” 

“It’s not exactly your money, is it?”

“Say it!”

“Fine!” He says, throwing his hands in the air. “I’m not going to knock you out and throw you in the trunk and steal all of your money.” 

Still nothing. No tingle. Well, no tingle about him lying anyway. 

“You passed the test. Now come here.” 

Hesitantly, he nudges towards you, those thick eyebrows dipping down as if expecting you to pull a bazooka out of your bra.

“C’mere, c’mere. Good.” You clap a hand on his shoulder and lean into him. You shift your weight onto one leg and wiggle off your other boot. You get a whiff of his cologne – dark, woodsy, a little too much, as if to cover for a lack of deodorant. “Now, as you so annoyingly identified earlier, I have had a little, insy-tintsy bit to drink, and if I tried to take off my shoe by myself, I would, as the kids say, eat shit. And once you’ve fallen on your ass in front of one cop, you’ve fallen on your ass in front of them all.”

His warm hands find your waist, steadying you, just as you pop your heel out of your boot. “I’m not a cop,” he grumbles.

“And I’m not a walking lie detector.” You shake your boot and your car keys tinkle as they hit the dirt. “Ah, ha! Got ‘em.”

You shake them in front of his baby cow eyes, grinning, before spinning back to your car and popping the trunk, hopping as you went to slide your boot back on. 

“Do you work out?” You ask as he rounds the edge. Half of you is buried in the trunk, feet in the air. 

“Uh, yeah, when I can. Why?”

“What do you bench?”

“256. Why?” 

“Oh, then this should be easy for you.”

You groan, struggling with something and he dives to help you – and his knees buckle. 

“Why the hell do you have a tire for a sixteen wheeler in your trunk?”

“Same reason you’re sweating, toots. Heavy as fuck and hard to move. But now that we have . . .”

You pull out a slim silver case. You pop the handles and sigh.

You haven’t moved a single bill since that night. You haven’t even breathed on it, as if doing so would set off a series of alarms, bells, and whistles.

“So small for so much trouble,” you whisper as he crowds in next to you. “Fifty thousand dollars. Make or break a life. Well, at least, a life like mine.” 

Javi makes a face. “Should be one hundred, but those fuckers switched it out.” 

“Wait, how do you know that?” 

He sighs and slams the lid of the trunk shut. You snatch up the case before he does and hold it tight to your chest. Javi stands there for a moment, with his hand on Baby’s trunk, head down, thinking.

“Look, I want to help you . . . and I can. But you’ve gotta start being honest with me. How did you really get into that poker game?”

“What do you mean?”

He crosses his arms, frowning. “That little party trick you do. The human lie detector thing. What is it? How did you know Veracruz had that shit hand?”

“Uh, because I asked him and he said he didn’t have a shit hand, and I knew he was lying.” 

“Yeah, that. How did you know he was lying?”

“I just did.”

“Bullshit.” 

“That’s my line!” You glare up at him, very much aware of his height and very much aware how hot he is. “I’m not lying to you. I just know when people are lying. If you believe it, I’ll know.” 

Javi rolls his eyes. “That’s not a real thing people can do. Have you done forensic work before? Studied body language somewhere?” 

You scoff and step back, showing off your black fringe vest, dirty jeans, and combat boots. “Do I look like I’ve studied anything anywhere ever? Where would I even have gotten the money to go study somewhere? Oh right, the forensic fairy, just beating the shit outta people with a bag of cash.” 

He puts his hands on his hips and you match him because you can do the scary cop thing too. It’s not that hard. 

“I broke my arm when I was seven on a bike ride.” 

“True.” 

“I had a dog named Benji.” 

“Dog’s right, but not named Benji.” You grin, rubbing your hands together, then putting them on your thighs. “C’mon, gimme something you’ve never told anyone. This is exciting. Your mustache does this little twitch thing when I’m right.” 

“When I was twelve, I cheated off my friend’s math test.” 

You frown, dropping your shoulders. “That’s your big secret? Whoof, buddy, and here I thought the big scary man gunning for me was mean and lean, when he’s actually just an All-American—,”

“I need your help to arrest the men who are trying to kill you.” 

Your mouth snaps shut so fast your teeth click.

“That’s what all of this is about.” He crosses his arms and leans against Baby. “Aren’t you curious how I found you so fast? Faster than the cartel who's been on your ass for two weeks now?” 

“I’d like to think it was just kismet that we found each other,” you grumble. “Serendipity. Movie magic. Lady Luck doing me a fuckin’ solid for once.”

“That case has a tracker in it. We had a plant in that game who was supposed to win, but not before he could distribute the cash out in the pot. We’d be able to follow them back to their stashes and track their movements.” He bit his lip, disapprovingly. “And then you showed up. Cleaned their fucking clocks like it was nothing. Had their goddamn numbers from minute one and none of us could figure it out. Steve was probably relieved when you knocked him out with that bottle.”

“Oh, shit, the blonde was your partner?” You grimace. “My bad, dude, my bad. Is he, uh, okay?”

Javi nods, eyes distant, as if subtly trying to work something out in his brain. Like testing to see if you could read minds or something. “He’ll be fine. His wife Connie is thrilled to have him home for a few weeks.” 

“Ah. And that means you pulled the shit straw to go after the girl who ran off with all your government money . . .” It was finally all coming together. “Shit, should I add your wife to the list of people I’ve pissed off? I can’t imagine she’s thrilled about any of this.”

His jaw works, as if he was chewing on something, eyes dark, before he pulls a packet of cigarettes out of the pocket of his jacket. He holds one out to you.

You stay where you are, hesitant. 

“C’mon, don’t tell me you’re not a smoker.” He spins an unlit cigarette between his fingers. “I don’t bite.”

You scowl and trudge forward. You snatch the cigarette from his thick fingers and wait your turn for the lighter.

“What gave it away? I haven’t had a smoke in hours.” 

The shadow of the flame flickered in his palm as he held out the lighter close to your lips, his hand blocking the wind. His brown eyes looked black in the absence of light. 

“Chain-smoking and playing poker with idiots is a combo deal. Two vices for the price of one.”

“Ha. Ha.”

You match his lean against Baby’s trunk, the pair of you watching the occasional car or truck go by on the interstate in the distance. The paper crinkles when you suck in the smoke. God, there really is nothing like the first bite of a cigarette. 

“So, what’s the play here?” You ask, after a moment. “You have the money. Why do you need me?” 

“You won’t have to worry about kindly strangers with baby cow eyes for starters.” You scowl at him. Maybe it’s the orange light of the flame, but you swear you see a twinkle in his eyes. “But you tell me. You seem smart. What would the government want with you?”

He likes a chase, you realize. He likes to play, to tease. He likes to be in control. Something inside you knots up, threatening goosebumps on your skin, but you shake it back. Down, girl. 

You take a sip from your cigarette, thinking. 

There is nothing else around except the highway and this diner. Seemed like such a good idea at the time. Who’d ever find your ass all the way out here? You lick the bottom of your lip before pulling it between your teeth.

“I’m your only witness to the mountains of coke being produced out in the open when they brought us in. Everyone else at that table was cartel or DEA. You want me to testify. 

He nods slowly. If he was impressed, he didn’t show it.

“We didn’t know who the hell you were when you showed up and planned to arrest you before everything went tits up.” He taps the ash onto the gray dirt and you watch his fingers. “If you do this, you’re out from under the cartel. We can give you a new identity, and you can start grifting again across America. All of this’ll be a bad dream.”

He flicks the butt of his cigarette into the dark, just at the edge of the light from the neon sign. You follow suit a second later. The keys to Baby are still in your pocket. 

“And if I don’t? If I don’t do this, then what?” 

His answer is a single arched eyebrow.

You dart to the left, trying to get around him, but he’s there first, arms outstretched like he’s guarding a goal. He frowns at you. Seriously? 

You lunge again, this time to the right, and he’s again in front. 

Your brow sweating, you hook your foot onto Baby’s trunk, desperately trying to scramble over the top. You get about halfway up before those annoyingly large hands snatch you around the waist and haul you off the car.

“Would you stop it?” He plops you down between his solid chest and the car door. This close to him, air temporarily leaves your lungs. “I’m being honest when I say I’m here to help you.” 

“I don’t believe you.” 

“Am I lying?” Again, that beautiful eyebrow of disapproval. 

“No, but I’ve officially decided you’re shifty.” 

He shakes his head and steps back, allowing blood flow to return to your brain. 

“Is this what you want for your life? Driving from small town to small town, picking up bullshit jobs, sleeping in shit beds, when there’s so much more you could do? You’re smart, resourceful, funny, weirdly agile . . . but you wanna spend your life hiding from the world.” 

There’s something hot and sharp in your throat.

“It’s what I’m good at,” you croak. 

His expression softens. The gravel crackles beneath his boots as he comes closer. Javi, the DEA officer, has temporarily left the building. In his place, this Javi is smoothed out, dulled, not all jagged edges and razor burns. Maybe tastes sweeter than day-old coffee and stale cigarettes. You want to tell him there’s nothing wrong with either– you happily take both– but seeing him unguarded, even for a moment, threatens to topple you over. There’s a light in his eyes when he takes in your face. Your eyes. Your nose. Your mouth. 

He looks . . . hopeful. 

One hesitant finger brushes away a stray strand of hair from your forehead.

Do not tremble. Do not tremble. Do not do it, I swear, ladies, keep it together!

“I bet you are,” he says softly. Jesus Christ, his hands are so big up close. “I bet you are good at a lot of things. You seem like the type who could genuinely surprise me. And I think you might surprise yourself one day.” 

You grimace, deeply, deeply regretful. 

“Yeah,” you mutter glumly. “I do surprise people a lot, actually. Unfortunately, you didn’t seem to be listening.”

“Wha–,”

From your other pocket in your vest, you yank out a one-time-use stun gun and stab his thigh through his jeans. Fifty-thousand volts lights up his entire body, arched, and tensed, before the grown man collapses at your feet. 

Unconscious, Javi hits the ground so hard you squeal, landing on his face and no doubt earning a nasty bruise. 

“Exit strategy, dude! Always gotta have an exit strategy. But I’m so, so sorry!” Grabbing his deadweight shoulder, you roll him onto his back and try to get him in a comfortable position. There’s dust in his mustache. .You fold his hands onto his chest like he was casually napping. 

Then because you were in fact the nicest or stupidest person on the planet, you dig your arms under his and pull him out of the parking lot. It would be a true sin if he got run over and anything happened to that beautiful face. Huffing, you drop him off by the bike rack. “I’m sorry. You are so gorgeous but I gotta get outta here and I can’t have you following me. This hurts me way more than it hurts you.”

You bend down and rifle through his jacket. You find what you’re looking for and take his phone out of his pocket. Old, probably a burner. With a shake, you crack off the battery and throw it on the ground. The crunch is loud beneath your heel. That should give you some more time. Can’t haul you back to HeadQuarters if he can’t call them.

This close to him, you can see the bags beneath his eyes. You remember he didn’t eat the entire time he sat with you in the diner. He didn’t respond to your question about a wife. Guilt clangs into your ribs. Slowly, you loosely brush your fingers through his hair. It’s soft, curls around his neck and ears. He looks like he needs sleep. 

You had been blasting across state lines, hardly eating, barely sleeping, restless and fearful. Maybe he had been too.  

“God, I am such a fucking idiot.” You grimace as you see a ripe purple bump growing on his cheek. “I am so sorry and I am so going to hell for this.”

Over the road to the highway, the dawn rises, purple and pink and heavy.

Baby purrs, when you start the engine, welcoming and warm. Where to today, Mama?

Jim Croce’s twang eases out of the radio as you adjust your mirror and see his long legs still out by the concrete. Somebody would find him soon enough.

Uptown got its hustlers

The bowery got it's bums

42nd street got big Jim Walker

He's a pool shootin' son of a gun

Yeah, he big and dumb as a man can come

But he stronger than a country hoss

You shake your head, guilt gnawing at your gut. Baby roars as you pull out onto the road and up onto the highway. Into the burning dawn.

What was it that he said? 

And when the bad folks all get together at night

You know they all call big Jim boss, just because

He called you funny. Resourceful. Full of potential. And smart. He thought you were smart.

Liar, liar. 

And they say

You don't tug on superman's cape

You don't spit into the wind

You don't pull the mask off that old lone ranger

And you don't mess around with Jim

#trying to get back into the flow of writing frequently if not just for one fic #javier peña #javier pena fic #javier pena one shot #javier pena x y/n #javier peña x y/n #javier peña x reader #javier peña x ofc #narcos #narcos netflix #also gonna tag this as #poker face #because more people need to see that damn show #pedro pascal #pedro pascal characters

[aeonphantasia]

To all the akuroku shippers (and to my own amusement lol), I made a small summary of all the times Axel and Roxas met and spent time together throughout the KH 358/2 Days game because i feel like the movie version didn't do justice to them. It's a very small outline and i'm already planning to do a more detailed breakdown in the future to showcase how their relationship has changed through that one year. Hope you enjoy it!!

Also, I want to dedicate this to all the akuroku fans out there who have written beautiful fics about these two. I know there's an akrk discord where you meet and discuss about them. I made this for you, for reference if you want as a thanks for all your wonderful works!!! (I would tag you all but i'm a bit shy, so you know who you are!)

n.b. the days marked with a ! indicate an important milestone in their relationship.

DAY 1 First meeting and ice cream (off screen).

!DAY 8 - THE ICING ON THE CAKE First mission together in Twilight Town and ice cream.

!DAY 14 - FRIENDS Second mission together in Twilight Town and ice cream. Axel declares them to be friends.

DAY 15-17 Ice cream (cutscene only).

(presumably they meet every day)

!DAY 22 - LEFT BEHIND Third mission together in Twilight Town and ice cream. Axel announces he's leaving for C.O. Roxas finds the 'WINNER' stick.

DAY 26 - TERMINATED Roxas is informed that Axel might be among those perished at castle oblivion. He is sure he will never see Axel again because when a nobody is gone, nothing is left behind. Roxas collapses and goes to sleep.

DAY 50 Roxas wakes up.

!DAY 51 - MISSING Roxas grieves. For the next 20 days he feels ‘chocked up’ with a ‘weird lump in [his] throat that won’t go away’.

!DAY 71 - REUNION Axel comes back. They have ice cream together. Roxas looks relieved. ‘The choked-up sensation has gone away.’

!DAY 72 - CHANGE Mission together in Agrabah and later ice cream. Roxas notices Axel is more outgoing than he was before. Axel admits something has changed. 

DAY 73 - THE PROMISE They meet in the morning before Roxas goes on a mission. Xion is missing. Axel promises Roxas to find out what happened. Roxas has ice cream alone. 

DAY 74 - TRIO Mission together in Twilight Town to find Xion. Later, all three of them have ice cream together for the first time. 

!DAY 75 - INSEPARABLE They meet in the morning before Roxas and Xion go on a mission. Later they have ice cream together. The three of them have a conversation on the meaning of being ‘inseparable’. Axel says that’s what best friends are even if they are not together all the time. At Roxas’ question to what being ‘best friends’ means, Axel can’t answer ‘cause he admits he doesn’t have one. 

DAY 76 They meet only in the morning. Axel seems distant.

(Roxas and Xion spend a lot of time together. The three of them won’t have ice cream together.)

DAY 94 - HEARTS Scene at the ALTAR OF NAUGHT. After a mission, Roxas and Xion join Axel for ice cream. Axel insists on the importance of unlocking Kingdom Hearts so they can finally have a heart. 

DAY 95 - NOBODIES Brief meeting in the morning. After their mission, Roxas and Xion meet Axel for ice cream. They talk about what makes each of them unique. Axel mentions memories of his past and Roxas wonders why he hasn’t got any memories of his own. 

!DAY 96 Meeting in the morning. After their mission, Roxas and Xion meet Axel for ice cream. Roxas hopes they can stay together like this forever. Axel says, as long as they remember each other, no matter what happens, they’ll never be apart. 

DAY 97 The three of them have ice cream (cutscene only).

DAY 99 The three of them have ice cream. Xion thanks Axel for his help. Axel gets embarrassed. 

DAY 100 Brief morning meeting. The three of them have ice cream (cutscene only).

DAY 117 - SECRETS Saix orders Axel to go back to C.O. Later, Axel and Xion have ice cream together. Xion says she is starting to ‘remember’ things. Axel feigns ignorance. 

!DAY 118 - LAZY DAY Org.XIII’s day-off. Roxas spends his day in Twilight Town. Later he joins Axel and Xion for ice cream. Axel announces he’ll be away for some time on a secret mission. 

(Axel leaves again)

DAY 119 After a mission in Beast’s Castle, Roxas wonders what it means to care about something you want to protect. He and Xion have ice cream together. 

!DAY 149 Axel comes back and meets up with Roxas at the clock tower. Roxas thinks about giving Axel the ‘WINNER’ stick.

!DAY 150 - FEAR Brief meeting in the morning. After his mission Roxas joins Axel for ice cream. They talk about things they can't bear to lose. Roxas says he fears of losing what he has with Axel and Xion and his memories of them. Axel says his fear is not real, ‘cause they’re nobodies so can’t have feelings, only thoughts. Roxas seems unsure of Axel’s words. ‘Maybe you just remember what it's like to feel scared, and think you're feeling it now.‘ 

DAY 151 - DISTRESS Brief meeting in the morning. Roxas has ice cream with Xion and she is distressed. Xion leaves and Axel arrives. Axel seems distant again. 

DAY 152 - THE WRONG BUTTONS Axel joins Roxas for ice cream. Roxas is worried about Xion. Axel tries to cheer him up. 

DAY 153 Roxas has ice cream alone. He feels sad and worried. 

DAY 154 Axel joins Roxas for ice cream. Roxas is still sad. Axel seems distant. 

!DAY 171 - LOVE Brief meeting in the morning before mission. During his mission in Beast’s Castle Roxas learns about ‘love’ and its power to protect what’s important to someone. After the mission he joins Axel for ice cream. He asks Axel about the meaning of love. (This dialogue it’s too important for their development to not put it here in its entirety so here you go. I call this the 'canon proof' to their love.) Axel: What's up? Did something happen? Roxas (shaking his head): Nah, it's just... This is gonna sound stupid. Do you know what love is? Axel: 'Scuse me? Roxas: I found out about love on today's mission--that it's something powerful. Axel: That's true. It is. But I'll never get to experience it. Roxas: Nobodies can't love? Axel: You need a heart, man. Roxas: Right… Axel: Love is what happens if there's something really special between two people. Roxas: You mean, like, if they're best friends? Axel: Well, you can care about your friends, I guess, but that's not what I'm talking about. Roxas: So then...love is like a step above friends? Axel: Yes... Well, no. There aren't "steps." Roxas: I don't get it. Axel: What does it matter? We'll never know the difference. Roxas: If I had a heart, you think I could love somebody? Axel: Once Kingdom Hearts is complete, you'll be able to do all kinds of things. Roxas: That's good.

DAY 172 Axel joins Roxas for ice cream. Roxas found out earlier that Xion has fallen into deep sleep and he’s worried. Axel is genuinely amazed at how Roxas can appear so human even if he’s a nobody. He tries to cheer him up and promises he will speak to Saix about it. Later he and Saix have a heated discussion about Saix’s behavior of late.

!DAY 173 - LIES Axel meets Roxas in the morning. For the first time he lies to him, hiding the fact that Saix won’t change his attitude towards Xion. Axel secretly apologizes for lying to Roxas. Later they have ice cream together (cutscene only).

DAY 174 Roxas has a mission in Neverland and he flies for the first time. When he comes back he’s joined by Axel for ice cream

DAY 176 Roxas and Axel have ice cream (cutscene only).

!DAY 193 - MEMORIES Xion wakes up. The three of them go on a mission in Twilight Town but Xion collapses again. They go back to the castle and Axel reprimands Saix for being rude to Xion. For the first time Axel finally admits to Roxas and Xion that they are his best friends and they are inseparable (callback to DAY 75).

DAY 194 Brief meeting in the morning. After his mission, Roxas meets with Xion for ice cream. Axel finds the truth about Xion.

!DAY 195 Roxas and Axel go on a mission together in Neverland. Roxas teaches Axel to believe in himself so he can fly. Axel decides to believe in Roxas instead and he flies. They fly together. Later they have ice cream together and are joined by Xion. Axel seems to ignore Xion. 

DAY 197 Roxas has ice cream alone (cutscene only).

DAY 224 Brief meeting in the morning. Later the three of them have ice cream together. Xion doesn’t feel well. Axel proposes that the three of them go to the beach soon. Axel has trouble interacting with Xion. 

DAY 225 Brief meeting in the morning. After his mission Roxas finds Xion on the clocktower but she leaves soon and Axel walks in. Roxas suspects Axel knows something about Xion and why she’s acting weird. 

DAY 227 Mission with Axel in Neverland.

-END OF PART 1.

PART 2 - here.

#akuroku #akrk #axel #roxas #kh axel #kh roxas #kh xion #xion #kingdom hearts 358/2 days #kingdom hearts #kh 358/2 days

[distinguished-slacker]

Please ignore this post I am just creating a checklist for when Mitsuba will get screentime so I will know how many of the facts (including silly ones) I brought up these past years about her have been addressed:

☘️☘️☘️☘️☘️☘️☘️☘️☘️☘️☘️☘️☘️☘️☘️☘️☘️☘️

Mitsuba’s demon debut (I hope it’s not another child-looking one…)

The mitsudomoe tattoo on her demon’s chest (does the tattoo imply the demon is Mitsuba’s or the Sangū clan’s possession? does Aoi’s demon have it too?)

Both fanbooks and the Bloody Blades game saying Mitsuba’s axe’s ability is to manifest an infinite number of demons (yet we only see her manifesting three at most so is she perhaps not using her cursed gear to its full potential or is it just Yamamoto not wanting to draw all that?)

Fanbook 8.5 stating there is no difference in strength between the demons of first to third rank (so Mitsuba’s demon shouldn’t be weaker than those of her squadmates)

What the hell was that time when some of her arm was sliced by Crowley, there was blood but then the next chapter she was surprised that there was no injury?

The similar names of Mitsuba and Aoi’s demons (note: Tenjiryū “Heaven-shaped dragon” and Chijiryū “Earth-shaped dragon”; are their demons perhaps related too? siblings? twins? halves of each other?)

Why is Mitsuba’s demon named after the sky and yet her manifestations come from the earth she cracks?

Why is Aoi’s cursed gear golden?

Why does the hilt of Aoi’s cursed gear have three-leaf clover symbol and drawings? (note: Mitsuba’s name means “three-leaf clover”)

Mitsuba backstory flashback chapter when?

The Sangū clan curse making all of its members blonde (note: the LN mentioned both hair colour-related curses of the Jūjō and Sangū clans but only the Jūjō’s backstory was explained)

Parents (were they good parents and why the hell did they appear out of nowhere?; judging by Mitsuba’s reaction to seeing them I feel like they were good…at least to her)

Did their parents name their daughters that way for a reason or was it just them being silly? (note: “Aoi” refers to a two-leafed plant while “Mitsuba” refers to a three-leafed plant yet they are the first and second daughters; is there perhaps another one?)

Why Mitsuba has such a bad relationship with Aoi?

Her feelings for Aoi

Did Kagami intentionally make Aoi start serve Kureto the same year Mitsuba was born? (Aoi was 7 at the time, the same age gap she has with Mitsuba, suggesting that Aoi was never around since Mitsu was born)

When did Mitsu join the army and how long did it take her to join the Vampire Extermination Unit?

Why did she join the army? (nepotism? forced to? had a desire to prove herself?; note: in one of the CD dramas Shinoa had to ask that question to her squad and Mitsuba was the only one who didn’t answer because she was too uncomfortable to say it)

How was her life with her previous squad?

How was her life after her squad died?

Why is she not loyal to the Hīragis?

When and under what circumstances did she meet Shinoa?

The weird stares she gives at Shinoa when she is with Yuu (I am placing my bets she is not jealous of Shinoa and rather she is just intrigued by her sudden emotional moments when she is with Yuu because the Shinoa she knows has always kept everyone at a distance…maybe she was also hurt that Shinoa appreciated more Yuu worrying for her in chapter 99 than Mitsuba worrying about her since Shinoa kinda half ignored her in chapter 86…also read a theory saying she fears Yuu and Shinoa getting together and leaving her behind just like Aoi did with Kureto)

Her feelings for Yuu (please don’t let her have an ‘officially confirmed’ crush on him)

Her feelings for Shinoa (note: in the fanbook 108 she said she worries for Shinoa the most and that Yuu comes second; it would be so good if she tried to get knock some sense into Shinoa for um…well, you know)

Her inferiority complex towards her squad

How she felt when abandoning the army

How she felt after failing to prevent Yuu from getting kidnapped

How she felt after being left alone when the war broke out

How she felt when she did was the only one of her squad to not contribute in the defeat of Shikama Dōji

If she is aware she is never contributing during conversations

Her view on the resurrection plan (is she actually going to resurrect her parents?)

Mitsuba’s desire

✔️: if the point is partially addressed

☑️: if fully addressed

✅: if one of the possibilities/theories mentioned becomes true

I hope that by the end of this year at least 2 of these points are addressed🤧 A lot of years ago Kagami said there is something awaiting Mitsuba and in the autograph session last Autumn he confirmed he has plans for her. So let me hope🥹…

#I will tick these as the months go by #but tbh even if she gets screentime I doubt some of these will be addressed #some are quite silly after all #I hope I am not missing anything #most hardcore *self-proclaimed* Mitsuba stan ever #come on Kagami you can do it #don’t ruin her for a man #or for ships in general #it would be kinda embarassing if she got ruined after all I’ve written #owari no seraph #seraph of the end #mitsuba sanguu #mitsuba sangu #mitsuba sangū #sangu mitsuba

[aro-bird]

The Alienation of being a Filipino Aro

There's a kind of cultural alienation that comes with growing up aromantic and no I'm not just talking about how most aros and arospecs would note experience relationships the same way an allo person would.

I'm talking about an isolation away from community and culture that becomes apparent when you really sit down and think about it. A sort of disconnect from your community not for the fault of your own but just by the mere fact that most of society didn't even know you could possibly exist.

I'm Filipino. In the Philippines, romance is an inseparable part of culture. It's not only liked by many as a concept and theme in their stories and discussions, but it's put on a pedestal. It's a pedestal that I could never achieve.

Most media references romance to some capacity. Children's media would have a lot of focus and emphasis on a romantic subplot even if that shouldn't be the main focus of the story. TV shows for adults, even if it should have little to do with romance like game shows, would make references to romance as a universal thing.

Despite the Philippines being one of the top producers of movies, you'd probably have a hard time finding anything that isn't romance save for the few horror films and the occasional comedies and action movies that constitute maybe about 3 movies a year out of the dozens made by the industry. Even indie films have a huge focus on love, romance, and relationships with the extremely few being dramas that drag or depressed the audience. Don't get me started about how 99% of music is about love and loss.

Outside of media, Filipinos are extremely romantic and not just exclusively with their partners. PDA is everywhere and is even encouraged. It is not uncommon to see students at school holding hands and cuddling on campus being tolerated and even celebrated as long as they don't kiss in front of a teacher. This would be fine if people weren't force to participate in it.

From early on in elementary school, children would exchange gifts during Christmas as they sing out loud "I love my Monito/Monita, yes I do!" as they play secret santa, with gifts exchange between kids of two different genders being met with typical romantic teasing. It's a pretty common question in playground discussions to ask who your crush is and if you didn't had an answer, you would be called a liar if they don't outright call you weird.

Friendships with someone who isn't your own gender (heck even friendships with someone who is of the perceived same gender too) are often met with romantic teasing and ceaseless inquiry. Even people you've only talked to once, without any indication of goodwill, or even positivity, gets you years of teasing and harassment from school boys that think they're being cute. Some of these people even thought it appropriate to drag me into a "chain booth" where they would tie me up with another boy in class just to tease me. The fact that this is seen as something romantic let alone acceptable is beyond disgusting.

Even adults push this narrative of romance and relationships to the point that you probably couldn't last a single day in school without teachers talking about the woes of romance and love to try to seem hip with the kids. Poetry nights arranged by language arts club are filled with desperate cries about their beloved and love that could never be which extends not only to the artistic events of the month, but even just the casual school-wide assembly. Poems that portray the unresponsive as a bad guy, as the heartless who dares not return affection. It was all alienating.

What happens to a person whose entire existence is not seen and not only not seen but dismissed entirely by the community? What happens to a person who can't find themselves in their own local media? To the person who can't relate to their community and peers? To the person being pressured to desire something that doesn't make sense to them? To the person being forced to be something they're not? All by their community and culture?

It's different for everyone, but in my case, I looked to somewhere else.

I found comfort in foreign media that didn't feel like it was talking down at me for not pursuing romance. I found comfort in English communities that didn't harass me and forced me to conform to an idealized romance. I found comfort in a place foreign, outside of the Filipino culture that does not have room for people like me.

This has made me avoid a lot of Filipino media, discussions, and communities even online. Why should I seek out a place that would fundamentally misunderstand me? That would alienate me and make me feel unhuman just as it did while I was growing up? That would pressure me to do things against my will?

It was empowering to find a community outside the community. It was as if I had found a secret club that understood me more than the people I knew for literal years. It was welcoming and warm and nice. Until things felt... off.

I look at this new community, this community away from community and realize something that has been bugging me for a good few months now.

This place also feels alien.

Discussions here may not revolve around a constant stream of love, romance, relationships, and heartbreak, but they are in a language spoken that's foreign to me. Not that the words being typed in English is the problem, no, even the shows back home speak loads of the language. It was something else.

The discourse was alien. The discourse was American.

Most of the discussions and the media around being aro places it squarely in the west. I've noticed that I even try to lessen my Filipino-ness at times when I would discuss my aro experiences despite the two being quite intertwined. I felt a bit of embarrassment just even thinking of bringing it up since it felt out of place. This didn't feel like the appropriate time to discuss this, but if not now, then when?

Discord servers, although international, are mostly filled with American aros and if not Europeans. Major blogs and resources are run by westerners who primarily discuss western issues and discourse. Those that try to cater to a more general discussion about aromanticism feels hollow as culture and community is stripped to its very basics to avoid alienating everyone else.

Now I'm typing this all out to reflect in it further. I'm still at this awkward place in figuring out how to handle these ideas. The reality that I'm not truly a part of my Filipino culture as someone aromantic, and the reality that I'm a foreigner to the aromantic community as a Filipino still messes with my brain.

I want to be clear, this is no one's direct fault. It is definitely more of an issue that a person only encounters when they don't fit the larger culture's idea of the standard, whether it be being an alloromantic Filipino or a western aro. I am not calling for all of the aro community to make space for me specifically just because I feel weird and awkward as a Filipino and I'm not calling on all Filipinos to keep checking on their amatonormativity just because I can't relate with their gushy romance.

Either way, I guess I have to try my best to create spaces for myself and open the discussion on both sides. Maybe I would finally start to feel less alien in my own skin.

#mayaposts #aromantic #aro #arospec #philippines #filipino #amatonormativity #filipino aro #queer #lgbtqia+ #long post

[sesshy380]

Ship Ask- Longfic AU Kat x Marik edition

I had seen a ship ask game, and I wanted to be self-indulgent and just answer like 99% of the questions without having people ask them. After encouragement from others that I should just do it, I began slowly working on fulfilling my self-indulgence.

If certain things have already happened in longfic, I’ll mention the chapter where it can be found. Anything that might be a potential future spoiler (meaning it hasn’t been posted yet), I will avoid anything beyond the hinting of it being possibly explored.

Important notes for those who haven’t read longfic: Bakura, Malik (Yami Marik), and Kat (OC) are immortal elemental beings. Their canon pasts are butchered and mutated to fit my AU. Also, so people don’t freak out when reading some of the answers, the Yami’s are the biological paternal figures to their hosts. I’m not dragging out the yarn board to explain how it all works. If you really want to know, just read the insanity. It’s called Tangled Web of Fate for a reason.

Another thing to note: Kat is chronologically 5,000 years old. Physically and mentally, however, she is 16, just like Marik. I have stuck with that age for Marik since the story itself picks up one month after Battle City. If the whole ‘age’ thing bothers you, this is a good time to follow the age old art of ‘Don’t like; don’t read’.

1. Describe their first date.

Found in Chapter 11. Their first ‘date’ was the result of Kat dragging along a reluctant Marik as a distraction to calm down, and it ended with Marik being really confused about why he felt the way he did towards a girl. They both still refer to that day as the ‘not-a-date’.

2. Who wakes up early/Who sleeps in late?

Kat is not a morning person. Marik is indifferent…except when he’s up too late, as is evident in chapter 86. That happened to also be one of those times when Kat was up early…and once she’s up, she’s up.

3. What was their first impression of each other?

I know this question is meant more for the typical couple, but with these two it’s not as simple as ‘they saw the other and thought they were cute’.

Marik’s first time ‘meeting’ Kat (that he knows of) was in chapter 5 in a vision/dream…and she was a cat. He was pretty annoyed with the cat.

Kat, on the other hand, first ‘met’ Marik not long after his birth. She was more focused on her own current situation, so she only saw him as her friend’s heir and nothing more at the time.

4. Who initiates affection? Why does the other not initiate affection as much?

They are both equal in the ‘initiates affection’ department. Kat has always been affectionate even on a platonic level, as can be seen with her weird relationship with Bakura (Marik occasionally questions if the two are really just friends, but he’s not going to be an ass and tell his girlfriend she needs to change how she acts with her bestie). Because of how affectionate Kat is on a physical level, Marik is at ease showing the same level of affection in return. He found he actually likes it.

5. Do they argue often? If so, what do they argue about?

They’ve had a few arguments, but it’s usually because Kat has this bad habit of trying to keep herself emotionally distant (for good reason). Chapter 57 is where shit hits the fan when she confesses to having a moment of weakness and offering herself to her ex (Atem). Marik is understandably upset, and he blows up over it and storms out of the house.

6. How do they make up/apologize after an argument?

Cuddles. Because I’m the author and I am a sucker for post-argument cuddles. No other reason.

7. How often do they say “I love you”?

Marik is the only one to have said it, and he says it often. Kat has implied it, but she’s still emotionally wounded from her marriage with Atem and the fear of being hurt again is strong enough that she actively avoids saying those words.

8. What do they love most about the other? Why?

Kat- How patient and understanding Marik has been with her. Also how he is able to relate to many of the things she says and does in his own way, and it makes her feel more ‘human’ as a result.

Marik- How Kat makes him feel like he’s in a dream he doesn’t want to wake up from. He gets to explore and learn more about himself without feeling judged.

9. What do they dislike most about the other? Why?

Kat- Dislikes when Marik calls her out on some of the things she does, because she’s been oblivious to a lot of her own behavior for several millennia (too many idiots let her get away with just about everything).

Marik- Dislikes that Kat has this bad habit of doing things that benefit others at the cost of her own happiness. Too much of her personality revolves around making others happy.

10. Do they share any hobbies or interests? How do these things bring them together?

They both like to work in the garage. Kat on muscle cars and Marik on motorcycles. Their first ‘date’ took them to a motorcycle shop that Marik had been wanting to check out, where Kat bought him his first Harley Davidson jacket (it was jean of course, because he’s vegan and won’t wear real leather). They also shared their first kiss in Kat’s garage.

11. How do they feel about nicknames/pet names? If they like them, what pet names do they use? If they hate them, why do they feel that way?

They both use nicknames/terms of endearment.

Kat- Was the first by calling Marik ‘Pretty One’, which quickly evolved into the Egyptian Arabic ‘gamiil’. After Marik said ‘I love you’ the first time, ‘gamiil’ became replaced with the ancient Egyptian ‘sehedj-ib’, which loosely translates to ‘the one who gladdens my heart’. This was her way of expressing that Marik makes her happy.

Marik- Since they made things official between them, he has taken to calling Kat ‘habibty’. It’s his way of showing her that he considers her someone special.

12. Do they have a difficult time when separated from each other, or are they fairly independent?

Mildly independent on both their parts, unless something happens that prompts the need for concern when apart, like Marik’s concern after the events of chapter 91.

13. How do they keep in contact when they’re apart? Do they write letters, talk on the phone, or simply wait out the time?

Their time apart is mostly due to Marik attending school. They spend his lunch period texting.

14. Do they enjoy PDA, or are they more private with affection?

They have no problem expressing how they feel with one another out in the open.

15. What songs remind you of their relationship?

Blinding Lights by the Weeknd

16. Would they ever get matching tattoos? If yes, what would these look like?

So this one is a bit tricky. Kat’s body instantly heals and is resistant to scarring, and Marik doesn’t like the idea of having anything that is ‘permanent’ (for obvious reasons). They would, however, both get airbrushed tattoos. It would probably be some form of a phoenix to symbolize being reborn from their past. Plus, there has to be fire to symbolize Kat’s element, which Marik found he isn’t afraid of.

17. How well do they communicate? Are they open with their feelings/thoughts or more reserved? Why?

Marik is more open in his feelings. Kat is still reserved and has a hard time saying how she feels. This is due to the emotional trauma Atem caused her across the millennia.

18. How do they care for each other when one of them is wounded/sick?

Kat doesn’t really have to worry about wounds or illness, but that doesn’t stop Marik from trying to protect her when someone does something to hurt her, or from worrying when she’s not exactly up to par. Chapter 26 and chapters 58 & 59 are good examples of this.

When Marik was nearly drained by Kat in chapter 33 (during a moment when she wasn’t entirely in control), Kat stayed by his side. She only left when Bakura woke up so she could do some damage control with her bestie, but Malik was present and she knew he would take care of Marik in her absence.

19. Do they wear each other’s clothes/jewelry?

They do! Kat has no issue with some of Marik’s more effeminate clothing choices. If anything, she finds it cute. Marik’s only issue is when she borrows something and doesn’t put it back after. Kat has a bad habit of setting things in places she can find them later, instead of where they belong.

20. How do they comfort each other when one of them is upset? Is this method of comfort effective?

Cuddles and talking. This is most effective towards Kat. Marik needs a bit more, and Kat usually sweetens the pot either with motorcycles or sex. Both are extremely effective.

21. Do they enjoy domestic life?

Domestic life is okay from time-to-time, but it’s not something they would enjoy long-term. They both enjoy the thrill of living on the edge and feeling ‘alive’.

22. Are they comfortable joking around with each other and being silly/playful?

Very much so. They were both robbed of having a real childhood, so they are basically big children some days.

23. What are the defining characteristics of their relationship?

Patience, understanding, and acceptance. Also, the exploration of an unknown future and discovery of self.

24. How do their personalities affect their relationship? Do their characteristics compliment each other, or clash often?

Both are a mix of two different eras, which makes it where they can be genuine with each other. Marik doesn’t feel he has to hide any of his Tomb Keeper past or his time running an international crime organization. Kat doesn’t have to hide that she’s an immortal being from 5,000 years ago or any of the ‘not-human’ aspects of herself.

25. Do they share a room/house? If so, what does it look like and how does it compliment their personalities?

At the moment, they live in Kat’s house, but she’s made space in her room for his stuff. Her vanity has a lot of Marik’s jewelry boxes on it at the moment, along with his makeup. Kat is often minimalist when it comes to these things, but she still owns her share of it. It should go without saying, but Marik obviously keeps his motorcycle in the garage as well.

26. What sacrifices do they make for the other?

Kat- Restricts how much meat she eats in Marik’s presence since he’s vegan (and she’s literally the opposite).

Marik- Made a deal with Apep, the Serpent of Destruction, to help keep Kat’s vampire-like nature a bit more under control (Chapter 34).

27. How do they say “I love you” non-verbally?

Have I mentioned these two enjoy cuddling and just being near each other?

28. Who’s the better chef? Do they cook for the other?

Kat is forbidden from cooking (she doesn’t have the patience for it). Marik isn’t really interested in learning. Both are content with take-out.

29. Describe their nighttime routine.

Marik attempting to remove his jewelry and makeup and getting distracted 99% of the time before he’s finished. He’s 16 and sharing a house and bed with his girlfriend. Hormones are in control come nighttime.

30. What are their respective love languages? Do their love languages work well together?

Kat- Gift giving and physical touch. This is her way of showing that she is paying attention to a person’s likes/wants/needs.

Marik- Giving affirmation and physical touch. Affirmation is his way of showing that the person is important enough to him that he understands what they need/want on an emotional level. It’s progressive on his part as well to step away from the ‘ME’ mentality he had before.

Physical touch is a big one that connects them (hence all the cuddling). Kat likes to touch and be touched. Marik allowing it is his way of showing his trust in her, and he enjoys wrapping his arms around her (she fits just right on his lap where he can rest his chin on her head).

31. Do they often go out on dates? What are these like?

‘Dating’ is still a new concept for Kat. She understands its purpose, but it’s something she’s never done before. Atem was Pharaoh, and they knew each other prior to that. There was no official ‘courting’, it was just Atem asking her to stand beside him and she had feelings for him so she said yes.

Marik never dated in a serious sense. All of his dates were purely casual flings or manipulation to get what he wanted (like with Remi, explained at the end of chapter 45 and continued in 46).

Chapter 85 kind of explains Kat’s side of things and continues for the next few chapters.

32. Do either of them drink? If so, who’s the lightweight, and how does their partner care for them?

Being that alcohol doesn’t affect Kat as quickly, Marik is obviously the lightweight in comparison. His first time drinking alcohol in general was with Kat (Chapter 18). He didn’t drink prior to that because he needed to keep his mind clear to control his puppets with the Rod. Kat only drinks when she isn’t concerned with the side-effect of it dampening her ability to use magic.

33. How do they flirt? Who’s the worst flirt?

They are equals in that area. They both love flirting with each other.

34. Do they have any inside jokes?

Mostly sexual innuendos when flirting.

35. Is their relationship a secret? If so, why?

Nope. Though it was a huge shock to Atem who was okay with it until he regained his memories and realized that his wife had moved on with an Ishtar (he had stolen her from an Ishtar 5,000 years prior, so the irony was not lost on him).

36. How do they feel about having kids? Are they in agreement?

It’s not something that’s been discussed, because Kat has informed Marik that she is incapable. She had to enlist the aid of her father, Anubis, to speak on her behalf to the goddess Meskhenet for Yugi and Imhotep to exist.

37. Who’s more emotionally sensitive/cries more often?

Kat all the way. Marik only cries when he’s emotionally overwhelmed.

38. Who’s got a quicker temper?

Kat has a temper to match her fiery element, and it manifests on a physical level. Something has to really hit the right nerve for Marik to fly off the handle.

39. When and how did they admit that they loved each other? If they haven’t yet, why?

Marik was the first, and he regularly says it (Chapter 44). Kat has yet to say it due to emotional trauma from Atem.

40. Do they have any regrets in their relationship?

In the relationship itself, no. Things they have done since being in the relationship, yes.

41. What would they do if they lost the other?

That may or may not get explored in future chapters…

42. What’s their relationship like with each other’s friends/families?

Fairly decent. Imhotep was an issue for a bit, but he chilled out after the events in chapter 91. Kat isn’t a fan of Ishizu…for reasons.

43. If they picked out outfits for each other, what would they look like?

This kind of already happened in chapter 79. Marik convinced Kat to dress in something more ‘fun and lighthearted’, instead of her usual all-black ‘doom and gloom’. Kat likes seeing Marik in his Battle City get-up.

44. Do they cuddle often? Why or why not?

If you read this far and don’t know the answer, I have to ask: Have you really read any of the previous answers?

45. How do they support each other? How do they rely on each others support?

Marik is able to take a lot of things Kat says and does and relate to it in his own way. By voicing those comparisons, it makes Kat feel understood and seen.

Kat does lean on Marik more in this way, but the fact that Kat doesn't judge Marik for things like how he dresses or his sexuality preferences, helps him feel less like a society outcast (considering he's still getting back on his feet from the whole Battle City fiasco).

46. Do they consider their relationship casual or serious? Is the answer different depending on who you ask? Why?

While Kat's original intention was to make Marik her casual plaything, he charmed her in an unexpected way.

Marik had no intention at all at first, but he found himself oddly drawn to Kat.

They both decided to take things seriously when they became 'official'.

47. Do they sleep beside each other? Why or why not?

Absolutely. Nothing like falling asleep cuddled up together (after having some fun).

48. Do they talk about their future together? Why or why not?

Both are still recovering from their past, and it's kinda hard to bring up a future when one of them doesn't age or die. It's one of those depressing things they'd rather not explore at the moment (plus they've technically only been dating for two weeks).

49. Do they keep secrets from each other?

Unfortunately, but not because they want to. Marik is magically bound to keep the secret of Apep’s current existence (first seen in chapter 34). Kat is also bound in a way as well, in that she can’t explain the true purpose of her 3D chess table (explained a bit in chapter 60).

50. Would they ever break up? If so, why? Who would handle the breakup better?

This one is kind of hard to answer, but something may be coming in future chapters that will delve into possible break-up territory. That’s all I’m going to say on this.

And that’s all 50 questions for this pair! I am going to (regrettably) do these for longfic AU Atem and Bakura next. If you love those idiots as much as I do, keep an eye open for their version in the future. I’m hoping to have it done and posted before I go downstate for Youmacon.

#ship ask #me being self indulgent #longfic au #oc x canon #oc kat #marik ishtar #being self indulgent with the other idiots next #heed the info at the beginning #i don't want any discourse over the pairing

[catgirltoofies]

i have played a lot of video games. you might even call me a gamer. i know i do. but i want to talk about something that's present in a lot of games, and which i feel is in kind of a weird place: crafting

if you've known me for particularly long you should know that i Love crafting systems in games and i love games which have crafting systems in them. i have played a lot of crafting games and i think i can boil crafting down to four major systems:

1. equipment crafting. this refers to taking raw materials and creating items which can be equipped, particularly armor, weapons, and jewelry. these items may be mundane or magical, powerful or useless, but the product is one which does not need to be consumed to offer benefits (excepting durability)

2. consumable crafting. this refers to taking raw materials and creating items which are consumed, usually food or potions or drugs or whatever potion-equivalent your setting has. these items offer a benefit, usually quite large, that lasts for a limited time, or which refill a resource, such as health or mana.

3. improvement. this refers to taking an existing item and making it better. the best examples of this i know of are improving equipment in Skyrim, where you take materials to make a piece of armor or a weapon slightly better, and materia in final fantasy 14, where you take monster drops and "refine" them into what are essentially Diablo gems, and then slot them into equipment for bonuses. improvement systems, generally, take a piece of equipment and a catalyst and consume the catalyst to improve the equipment.

4. building. this refers to the creation of buildings, obviously, but also to stations where other crafts can be done. Skyrim house building, construction in ARK or RuneScape, stations in don't starve.

now. with this in mind, most games have a fundamental flaw that is directly at odds with crafting, and i think it's a flaw in the crafting more than the game itself: crafting is not the sole source of these items, and often is not even the source of the best items. there are exceptions to these flaws, but they usually have one piece or the other.

let's take runescape for an example. if you know about runescape, you probably know that it's actually split into two games: old school runescape, which I'll refer to as OSRS, and runescape 3, or RS3. OSRS is a sort of fork of the original version of runescape, shortly before some major revamps which led to modern RS3. the specific change i want to talk about is smithing. the general production chain is relatively unchanged between versions, the main difference being RS3 added more high level metals and little minigames to mining and smithing. the chain is as follows: mine ores, smelt them into bars, hammer bars into equipment. that's how you get metal equipment in runescape. one major difference, though, is in enemy drops. in OSRS, enemies can drop equipment pieces. this means that if you want, for example, a steel full helm, you can make it yourself or get a random drop from various enemies, or you can buy it from a shop. the change in RS3 is that enemies never drop equipment - instead they drop plates and shards where they used to drop equipment, and these items can be used in invention to get materials for that. in RS3, the only source of steel full helms are shops and smithing, and shops only go up to rune level, meaning there are four metals' worth of equipment where the only source is from smithing. this makes high level smithing useful to players who invest the time in it; you can create powerful equipment which is otherwise unavailable, though it has the issue that there's generally other equipment which is better that only comes from drops.

my point here is, in OSRS there's very little reason to train smithing except to get high enough to do crystal singing for that equipment - which requires fewer levels than making anything out of runite. in RS3, there's reason to go all the way to 99. in OSRS the only benefit to 99 smithing is the smithing cape. OSRS has the flaw in smithing that it gives very little unique equipment, and in many cases there are better options. RS3 solves this problem, but unfortunately is generally less... good, compared to OSRS. it has other, more severe problems unrelated to crafting.

now, for a game which i believe has a very good crafting system, if extremely minor: Skyrim. Skyrim has examples of all four systems, but once again, I'm going to be talking about smithing. as most people who have played Skyrim probably know, you can take raw materials, usually metals and leather, and create equipment - all the weapon types, and all pieces of armor - at anvils or forges. there's a tier system, like runescape, where higher skill lets you unlock perks to make higher tier equipment. the creation of equipment is generally lackluster, because it's just a slightly earlier availability of better equipment, which you'll come across later anyways. what most people likely forget about, however, is improving equipment. you can take that nice piece of ebony armor and put it on the armorer's table with another piece of ebony and give it better stats. this is the improvement system at work, one which works in parallel with enchanting. unlike enchanting, however, this is the only way to get gear improved in this way. merchants will only sell the base level, and enemies will only drop the base level. the improvement is minor, sure, but it is a small step in the right direction. unfortunately this system is so uninteresting and minor that most people probably forget it even exists. enchanting takes the spotlight because it's a more interesting mechanic, but also one which appears in merchant and enemy inventories.

what's the point I'm trying to get at here? i want crafting to have a purpose. i don't want to spend days grinding levels and materials to create an item which is sold by an npc for a few thousand coins, or which is dropped by a random enemy at a 1 in 256 rate. i want crafting products to be interesting and useful and impactful.

#video games #ranting #crafting #long post

[feuervogel]

I posted 1,843 times in 2022

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#especially since my sister had a completely different relationship with her and wouldn't understand if i talked to her about it

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

Recent media viewing

I decided to open up Netflix the other day and watch the Sandman adaptation. It's as good as everyone has been saying it is! And episode 5 has some gross bits that you'll see coming if you're paying attention (also, the nice black lady and her dog don't die, if you're worried about that). The Corinthian is EVEN CREEPIER in live action.

I spent a lot of time thinking "God, that actor looks and sounds familiar" whenever the Corinthian was on screen, but I looked him up and he wasn't in anything else I've seen, so I guess he's just got That Kind Of Face (or at least lower half of it, since he's got dark glasses on 95% of the time.)

While I was on Netflix, they showed me recommendations, as algorithms do, and I browsed the anime selection to see if there was anything to add to my (extremely long) watchlist.

I decided to watch Tekken: Bloodline, because deep in my heart of hearts, I love 2D fighting games. Not at all because I've been a JinHwo shipper since the early 2000s, nope. Anyway, it's a Netflix original, originally voiced in English. The voice acting ranges from fine (Jin, Hwoarang, Nina, Paul) to cringe (Jun, Xiaoyu) to comical (Heihachi), and for some completely unknown reason, Heihachi's assistant uses weeb-Japanese and says "hai" when she could say "yes, sir." (Like, this is the ONLY Japanese in the show. I'm not counting uses of sensei, because that's been borrowed into English as a martial arts term, or the time Paul says "Mishima Zaibatsu," because that's been in the US versions of the game since forever.)

Is it any good? It's not bad... It's basically the plot of Tekken 3, with references to 1&2, with Jin finding out about his family and Heihachi being a total asshole (I mean, duh). The character designs are weird, like their faces are too small for their necks and chins are too pointy, and somehow Jin looks like Heero Yuy in profile. I laughed a couple times (Paul (or maybe Nina): You two are friends? Jin & Hwoarang (unison): NO!) and may be on the way to shipping Jin/Hwo/Xiaoyu because they're ADORABLE.

When I got my new computer for Xmas, it came with a free 3-month trial of Apple TV. I didn't do anything about it until they sent me an email that it would go away if I didn't use it, then I signed up. There's actually a good bit of good stuff on there, so I'm keeping it for 4.99 a month.

Severance: suuuuper creepy SF mystery/thriller? where people can sign up to get implants that sever their work lives from their home lives so they can work on something so secret, even their work-selves don't know what it is. Season 1 ends with a massive cliffhanger that was extremely brave, because S2 hadn't been confirmed yet. (It is now.) It stars the guy from Parks & Rec and guest stars Christopher Walken.

The Essex Serpent: based on a book, apparently. Tom Hiddleston plays a vicar who lives out in the wilds in the 1880s or so; Claire Danes is a recently widowed paleontologist. Hiddles is utterly charming, as always; Danes is a bit flat, as always (I've always liked her, but she has about 2 expressions: confused and sad). There's a doctor who wants to date her, and her BFF/maid ALSO wants to date her, but she's only got eyes for the vicar (who's married, of course). Anyway, she hears rumors of a sea monster in the river and goes to investigate it, which is where she meets the vicar and so on. You can tell it's going to be a romance, but that part is somehow not compelling.

For All Mankind: space race AU where the Soviet Union gets to the moon first and NASA has to catch up. A lot of the real-world timeline is changed in ways that are good (space shuttles! moon base!) and bad (USSR doesn't collapse). In season 3, there is an extremely honest depiction of Gay Life in the 90s and of the within-group politics of assimilation or not. I lived through it (before I knew I was queer, or admitted it anyway), and it still punched me in the gut. We've made so much progress in the last 30 years that it's easy to forget just how terrible it was back then and that Don't Ask Don't Tell was the progressive compromise. It made me think about all the puriteens here on tunglr dot com and the stupid discourse about ~flawed media~ and ~problematique~ stuff. They should watch it and maybe fucking learn some history.

The end of season 3 is dfjhadkjghk;djkhgojwhjdfxhvjh basically and season 4 can't come soon enough.

5 notes - Posted August 20, 2022

#4

G witch ep 6

That was extremely fucked up.

They're speed-running all the super fucked-up bits from UC and 00. Good job.

9 notes - Posted November 6, 2022

#3

I have a very specific request, and I'm sure someone here can point me in the direction of acquiring this. (These, I guess; there are two specific fannish things I've wanted for a while.)

The litany against fear, in its entirety, in calligraphy or similar. Not twee. (I'm not actually into Dune, but having basically cognitive behavioral therapy on my wall might help me with my stupid anxiety.)

The Discworld DEATH bit "to be the place where the falling angel meets the rising ape", with or without the rest of the speech. (It's a long speech and would make the piece too busy.) Not twee. Potentially illustrated with silhouettes in the background behind the text.

I have no artistic ability nor any skill at graphic design, and I lack the patience for calligraphy. Thinking about embroidery or cross-stitch makes my fingers hurt. (My mom was an avid cross-stitcher and taught me when I was a kid. I could never hold the needle properly.)

Type of item: poster up to A2 size

Price: up to around 20 € each

13 notes - Posted September 5, 2022

#2

I can't be the only person who wants directors or whoever makes these decisions let Oscar Isaac have his gorgeous salt and pepper hair. A grown-ass man, silver at the temples, charming smile. Please?

Also I saw a comment about Dune that said they "aged him up" to play Duke Leto, and it took everything I had in me not to comment "oh, you mean they didn't make him dye his hair?"

32 notes - Posted January 23, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Been playing Disco Elysium and I tried on some new pants.

[ID: screenshot from the video game Disco Elysium

YOU - I like regular, normal things.

VOLITION - Mhm, I know you do. These interisolary pants are like wearing a perfect *compromise* in your nether regions. No one will call the Moralintern on you like this, that's for sure.

You're a little more moralist now, buddy. A little more *normal*. Even if you didn't want to be.

COMPOSURE [Medium: Success] - Makes sense. This is what wearing boring office trousers does to you.

end ID]

39 notes - Posted November 25, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#tumblr2022 #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review #lol

[astharoshebarvon]

never understood why some people hate yuki in given. i mean seriously, have some sympathy and decency for the boy, his death was so tragic thats its really pathetic you hate him. mafuyu and uenoyama adore each other, why do you have to think he is some third wheel when he is dead? mafuyu loved yuki, nothing will ever change that. the name of the freaking manga is in reference to him, are you for real, to actually hate yuki?

it's pathetic how these weirdos don't hate that horrid, homophobic bitch classmate of uenoyama who was disgusting as hell, don't dislike his equally gross sister. i love how he doesn't give either of them time of the day. is it same crap of not hating fem characters even if they are right trash, like how actual pedo women in fiction books and manga get pass but male characters who arent even vile are condemned.

sesshoumaru was an exception to this rule. glad that shit flopped. he didnt deserve what was done to him.

otherwise, its' just same case of absolving bad fem characters of their rubbish. i don't even get why given artbook and illustrations have these two dumb females and not yuki in group pictures. like seriously, what did he even do wrong? the answer is nothing. he did nothing bad. he was a good guy, no matter what delusions people may have.

this kind of mentality explains so well how tom riddle sr was treated, he had no obligation to stay with his rapist wife. merope can go to hell for what she did to him.

then i saw another weird post on twitter, why is omegaverse manga getting anime. my god, please cry harder about it. i am so glad that sweet BL manga is getting an anime adaptation. omegaverse was always always for MM SLASH, it's the origin for it, there is no such thing as straight omegaverse, 99 % erase the core, gay element and make it het. shut up.

i am glad so many people are excited for it, the weirdos can stay mad. the hets get tons (hell, almost all of them are het) of anime, crappy shoujo/josei anime with annoying fem leads who are so off putting it's unreal. let's not pretend those anime would be remotely liked if it werent for hot guys in it and a good looking ML. i can name a lot of them but i am afraid i'll actually end up feeling annoyed for hours.

some even have blatant homophobia, seriously, get out. i am so glad gay erotica, BL is way way more popular these days. it actually feels nice.

akatsuki no yona, skip beat, cardcaptor sakura ( not clear card ) tsubasa reservoir chronicles, sacrificial princess are gems among shoujo/josei. josei novels and mangas are usually so horrible its amazing cringe and lame stuff like that even gets printed. especially Josei TL. they are a joke. i bought one novel only for the illustrations. the story was atrocious.

no wonder weirdos liked and defended that slut from ten count. may that bitch burn in hell for what she did to shirotani.

i don't even know why we should even care for that gross ex in therapy game. she wasnt getting enough attention from shizuma so she cheated on him. please, just shut the hell up! she was a cheating scumbag and nothing will ever justify her bull. like, how do you even justify this kind of garbage, literally no sensible person would feel sorry for her. if you arent getting attention doesnt mean you jump to another fellow. get help if you are that foolish and strange. you can bet if same crap was in het story literally no one would be trying to make excuses for her, because some weirdos were. ew. she was vile and horrible.

there was even a creepy post about couples from gay anime, some fool watermarked the bottom guys with caption, why are you not girl.

lol, please go get help. ask yourself why are you such a horrible person? they'll always be two guys and in love. they are gay. cry harder and stay mad that gay ships and gay erotic/bl is popular.

[yurigalactica]

For the ask game: 15, 20, 31, 63, 70, 88, 99

:D

jinx hi!!! :D

15: Do you prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it?

honestly, i've never minded either. it always seems like i end up behind the camera though, or the only one of my friends with a camera out. i guess the reason i always have a camera out is because i really want to capture as many of the good memories as i can so i don't forget them. and i know that sometimes it makes me seem weird, but honestly, nothing brings me more joy than watching five-year-old videos of my friends fucking around and laughing in the backseat of our parents' cars. and especially lately it's strange to watch videos of my friends and i back when we were thirteen, since we're all eighteen now and we're so much different than we used to be. it really puts into perspective just how much we've all grown up. on another note, i got a polaroid camera for my 18th birthday about six months ago, and i've been burning so much of my money on film for it (like literally hundreds. film is so fucking expensive it hurts) but honestly i think it's worth it because now i have a massive wall of polaroid photos that are a little bit washed out, a little unfocused, and a short caption and the date written in my own hasty scrawl on the bottom. all of these memories, imperfect as they are, put up in a place where i can see them all the time, really reminds me that i'm not as alone as i think. and i can't wait to take more once i start college.

20: What is your greatest weakness; your greatest strength?

my greatest weakness is my crippling anxiety. my greatest strength is my zoloft prescription. Get Owned dopamine imbalance

but in reality, my greatest weakness is definitely my anxiety. it's genuinely fucked me up in more ways than i can count, and looking back now, i'm shocked that i didn't realize that i was a severely anxious kid. my worst fear at age nine was dying slowly and painfully of heart disease, which i was fully convinced was going to happen to me. at age NINE. and i didn't even get officially diagnosed until i was sixteen??? what the fuck?????????? that's not a concern a normal nine year old should be having at all

my greatest strength, though, has gotta be my empathy. my experiences regarding my mental health struggles has been helpful in the sense that i know what it's like to feel really fucking awful. and i know it's something that i wouldn't wish upon my worst enemy. so when someone talks to me about feeling like that, i feel like i can relate to them. and thus i feel like i can help them a little better. i'm in no way perfect, but i'm trying my best to be there for my friends when they need it, and that's gotta count for something.

31. Smell the air. What do you smell?

funnily enough i went to smell the air and i smelled smoke so i had to run around my house and apparently my father left the stove on before he left the house and the kitchen was filling with gas. fun times!

63: What is your secret weapon to get someone to like you?

probably just listening to people talk about what they like. i love it when people listen to me rant on and on and on about stuff i'm passionate about, so i've always assumed it's the same for other people. so far it's worked pretty well.

70: Are you the kind of friend you would want to have as a friend?

not to sound cocky, but absolutely. part of the reason is probably because my love language is physical touch and...none of my irl friends are the same way. i have never platonically cuddled with the homies and that gives me the Big Sad™. i want a platonic bestie who i can cuddle with in bed and discuss my existential fears with. is that too much to ask for

88: If you could press a button and make anyone in the world instantaneously explode, who would it be?

a certain floridian politican that i shall not refer to by name. what the fuck did the trans kids do to you to make you hate them so damn much my dude

99: If the whole world were listening to you right now, what would you say?

hating people who are different than you is never going to bring you any fulfilment. not everyone is going to adhere to your way of life, and you should stop expecting them to. the world is so much more beautiful with it's diversity, with all its people of different races, genders, sexualities, beliefs, religions, all of it. think of it as a field of wildflowers in a mountain valley. sure, a field of poppies is alright, but it's so much more breathtaking when it's also got cornflowers, asters, daisies, violets, alliums, and yarrows—when there's all different kinds of flowers growing in harmony together. when it's like that, it's got the whole rainbow spectrum. it feels like art. it feels complete. there's no reason to be afraid of people who are different than you, because we're all still people, with dreams and aspirations and hopes and fears and passions. we're all doing our best to be happy. it will never be worth it to try to take that away from someone. go live your life. let them live theirs.

#ask game #jinx-blackout-84

[retphienix]

Yeah sure enough this seems like the end, huh, feels like we've done so very little to get here and yet had a ton of side stuff to mess around with lol

That seems apt for this game. Surprisingly, hasn't been a bad time, I rather like this one compared to TA.

I said it before, but it really does just feel like "TA done right". There's a world where TA is done better than this, definitely, like whoa boy definitely, buuuuut- compared to TA I found this way more enjoyable thanks to a few little adjustments.

But I'll save that for the actual finale post, for now this encounter- the story up to this point- and where this post closes.

This fight against Illua is deceptive. It can snowball BAD at the drop of a hat, as such this is actually my second attempt.

My first attempt I rushed up top with my gunner, archer, and Luso and I was incredibly confident as we 1 turned the behemoth up top while the rest of the party squared up in the spawn area.

But reinforcements arrive after 1 enemy dies and things started to get hairy way faster than I expected.

Illua got to like half health from Luso, then just double teamed him with the nearby lamia enemy that spawned.

I wasn't worried, because while Luso can DPS things down, my MVP is undeniably my hunter, and having supporting fire from my gunner had me confident.

Only for Illua to sprint over to my hunter and Stop him, at that moment I knew I was fucked. Sure enough what came next was like 30 turns of the lamia Toad'ing my gunner and (still Stop'd) hunter and Illua slowly tapping through my guys.

Obviously the fight went way smoother this time around.

I didn't intend to intentionally avoid killing enemies- I had no fear of the reinforcements now that I knew they were coming- but as it turned out they decided to waste their time taking the long path for whatever reason.

Worked for me :D

As for the story, man, what a weird game this has been lol.

I genuinely can't think of another game I've played that so desperately wanted to have no story.

Not ME wanting that, the GAME wanted to have no story, but did so anyway out of obligation.

The ENTIRE game has been "Let's fuck around! It's sure to be the solution!"

Every hint at story was vague in a fun way that implied more would happen... only for the more, as I'm now seeing, to just be exceptionally little lol

I mean we don't even learn about Khamja at this rate.

It's just a name.

The only member we see is Illua, and she's the big bad.

The only reason they exist as a concept is to add the smallest layer of complexity towards saying Cid used to know Illua (Oh they weren't friends, they were uh, oh yeah!, they were part of the same clan!)

Hell, a big part of the story builds up to reveal why Cid left and became who he is today- the reveal? He just felt like it.

No moral reason or nothing. He just left- they tried to kill him- and the only reason he's in a clan now is because as he bled out he saw a judge and said "Hmm. Save me I guess?"

Like I really like Cid as the story remains vague- he's fucking cool in this!

Then the reveal is just.

"Yeah I was in the right place at the right time. Idk man."

The short of it is that the story is kinda bad. Like a step lower than mediocre.

And yet, I'm not bothered by it?

99% of the game is trying DESPERATELY to jingle keys in my face and say "Don't worry about the story"- the story itself jingles the same keys with every other mission either being a ridiculous and nonsensical detour for the sake of it, a reference mission to FF12, or us fucking around.

So few of the missions progress anything at all lol

So since the game itself knows where it put its effort, and directs you to that effort constantly, and that effort is NOT the story- I find myself rather unbothered.

This game is about side quests (300 of them lol), getting rewarded with legendary weapons from other FF games CONSTANTLY, getting rewarded with equipment that has fun skills on them CONSTANTLY (unlike FFTA), and just messing around in short 5-15 minute ordeals- perfect for a recess break on your nintendo DS.

It's pretty good at that. I mean that.

Good enough that it makes me think I'd have more fun in TA if I abused its systems more because as it turns out TA/TA2 DOES have some good fun TRPG stuff in there. My time with TA was extremely lacking on that front, but seeing as so much of TA2 is just copy pasted but with some number tweaks to make it actually fun- I'm seeing the recipe wasn't as bad as I thought, it just needed the spice (equipment availability and skill acquisition speed improved) etc.

Don't get me wrong. I still find a lot of the core design ideas for TA and TA2 to be a mix of "Fucking dumb" and "Fine- but that's really not my personal preference", I'm just saying that TA did not sell it to me AT ALL and this, actually, kinda did.

BAH, I said I'd save that for the finale, I'll probably just point at this for that section now lol, this was supposed to be on the story and the story is just plain not there bud.

BUT, this little dialogue between the party was nice.

Kinda bog standard, but nice, it made me smile- that's cool :)

And as for how this post closes, I attempted the next guy, And Almost Fucking Did It!

ALMOST.

BAH!!!!

I got greedy and thought "I bet I can repeat what I did with my tinkerer in the last fight, here :)" and after having gotten the core to really low health and destroyed the hand or whatever I cast haste.... on the enemy and fucking died lol

As I'm pretty sure is visible in this recording, I did savestate at the planning stage of the next fight, I'll be retrying from there.

I also have states outside of this whole ordeal so if it turns out I'm just too bad at video games to take him out then I'll backtrack, but I came close enough to think I'm fine.

OH OH OH, also

10 minutes in, the funniest fucking faceplant.

#Final Fantasy Tactics A2: Grimoire of the Rift #FFT #FFTA2 #Final Fantasy Tactics #RetPlays #Youtube

[tyzias-ennnntykk]

Chuck Tingle posting about how Hiveswap people (i assume some of the game devs, but god only knows who, because theres a Team™) accused him of being "not really autistic" pisses me the fuck off.

Look im gonna say this, i dont come across as autistic 99% of the time in person!! its INCREDIBLY common for folks who are neurotypical to think im lying when i bring it up. I mean you get me talking about a hyperfixation (Homestuck ironically is a huge one) and im off like a rocket, but otherwise i very much come across as neurotypical. This is because I was diagnosed so late in life that bullying basically forced me to learn "social skills" the way neurotypicals think of them; i often refer to my conversational approach as an "algorithm", because i have a streamlined system for communication. In fact, most people tell me im charismatic as fuck in person, something that you wouldnt have considered possible if you came across the weird squawking child i once was. But all of that is basically just the result of HARD WORK and a lot of imitations of other, more neurotypical people...Sometimes you can trip me up by bringing conversations in a direction i didnt consider.

And like i say, Homestuck is a HUGE hyperfixation for me, and just...more and more massive chunks of the fandom are outright DIS-GUST-ING. i dont doubt for a second that this is true what Chuck went through, not just because he strikes me as an incredibly honest, kind dude, but also because there's some real shitheads in this fandom! For fucks sake, they made a sequel WHICH GOT CANCELLED BECAUSE YOU SELFISH JERKS BULLIED THE STAFF INTO SUBMISSION.

I'm not going to stop loving this universe, its too engrained in me, it would take a JK-level betrayal for me to abandon Homestuck and Hiveswap. But if you are reading this and you think you might AT ALL have been part of any of this, go take a good hard look in the mirror and ask yourself why the fuck you feel the need to hurt others like this. Like. Fuck!!! What is WRONG with some of you?!??

[horrorlesbion]

top 5 or 10 movies you think riverdale should reference next plus optionally like what the storyline incorporating them should be like

i’m sorry this is so much more than 5 to 10 movies i got carried away

child’s play franchise - literally any movie

ideally seed/bride or the tv show. i think it was @girlbossreggie​ who proposed a chicles bride of chucky au which would be perfect. alternatively i want jennifer tilly to guest star. it is not elaborated if she is playing herself or jennifer tilly as possessed by tiffany. a bound reference is obligatory and it has to be made clear that she hooked up with jugheads mum (this can be combined).

devil’s carnival

dream musical episode. works perfectly if they want to pick up the “war between heaven and hell” plot from rivervale again. even if hiram would have slayed as the devil part i know they can make it work now. i’ll even tolerate some fanservice and give choni the june/cora storyline (toni is june of course).

alternatively i’ll settle for a veronica & hermosa single musical performance of a song from repo! hermione can cover the third sibling part if needed because i remember marisol said she wanted to do a musical performance i know we can get her back for this.

saw/escape room/hostel

saw is of course the classic and my favourite. i want a bunch of the characters trapped in an insane torture maze. i love single location horror. i’m sure we can dig up a villain weird enough to do it if glee managed it. if they’re cowardly they can also reference the escape room movies instead since those are more mainstream and less gory. hostel would be hilarious if only for the insane worldbuilding implications but we could make it work. if they suddenly revealed the blossoms went on a summer trip to hunt people for sport every year i’d believe it.

rope (alternatively: swoon/compulsion/thrill me)

honestly any leopold & loeb adaptation would bang. i know they already riffed on funny games for the chicles wedding but rope is such a fun set-up it’s easy to replicate (AND classic cinema at that). could do it with a bunch of characters though of course a gay couple hosting is always funniest. but i wouldn’t even be mad if it’s barchie or veggie who killed a man and have to hide a body in a trunk while everyone else is at the house for a nice little party. not a movie but thrill me is my favourite reference option you all know my opinion on this. even if it would have fit better during earlier seasons i know we can make it work. if it’s a musical episode they’re obligated to give chicles at least one of the songs (superior? life plus 99 years? thrill me?)

gone girl

veronica realised hiram actually seduced/paid off the russian assassin and pulled off the exact plot of gone girl to fuck with her because he was mad she exiled him. ideally this is how hiram comes back on the show. funnier if hermosa was in on it.

malignant

jason is reborn as a tumor on cheryls brain that possesses her body and kills people. we have magic now might as well go balls to the wall insane i KNOW ras loved malignant i just know it. for another insane cheryl plot to run in the background: velvet buzzsaw. her paintings come to life and start killing people. her fursona painting needs to be prominently featured in this episode.

us

everyone is confronted with their rivervale counterparts (who are even more deranged now) who all realised they were stuck in a timeloop and broke out of the pocket universe to take their places in the main narrative. doppelganger fight to the death everyone gets to try and flex their acting muscles.

the purge

you KNOW this would slap. would have fit ideal for early season 5. archie comes back to riverdale ruled by hiram not knowing it’s purge day in 3 days. however given the vibes of percival pickens i’m confident he’d be down to institute a purge day we can still fit this in. can mash it up with some references to assassination nation since that’s basically teenage highly aestheticised camp purge movies with three times the plot so a natural fit for riverdale.

psycho goreman

an episode entirely dedicated to what jb has been up to during the timejump years. and the answer is she found a space rock that lets her control a giant violent alien monster. since its set during the timejump we don’t have to explain why the actress still looks so young.

the descent

alternate bottle episode: all the riverladies take a girls trip going caving in a secret passage cheryl discovered in the blossom mines. they get attacked by fucked up cave creatures and barely survive. maybe one of them dies and cheryl has to resurrect her with necromancy. none of this is ever referenced again.

hard

now that gay kevin is becoming a cop what better time to pull off “gay cop gets over his internalised homophobia while hunting a gay serial killer and hooking up with him” everyone watch this movie btw it’s criminally underrated. 90s messed up gay cinema for the win. on THAT note i don’t know how they would pull it off since i don’t think the network would let them so much as breathe the name of this movie but referencing frisk would be so fun. i would bet ras has read some dennis cooper and probably seen this film. and speaking of really messed up gay content it’s a huge shame we don’t have blue velvet video anymore and already did snuff films in season 4 because an underhanded playdurizm reference would be fun. that was such a movie. if anyone takes this as a rec list do NOT even look up summaries for frisk and playdurizm without a strong stomach.

also: not gay but talking of extreme horror if we’re folding rivervale back into this season’s narrative i want an explicit martyrs reference for archie. he doesn’t have to get like skinned or anything but the vibes were already there in 06x01

any david decoteau movie

riverdale already spends a large amount of time with hot men wandering out shirtless. it’s a natural fit and they’re gay culture. funniest option would be 1313: giant killer bees and it ends with cheryl showing up to save the day bringing back the fact that she can control bees with her mind apparently.

raw / excision

i want betty to eat people or take them apart surgically. just let her do some fucked up violence. really get into it. alternatively a Came Back Wrong plot about archie and bettys new superpowers turning into something more malevolent and giving us a jennifers body/all cheerleaders die type plot. archie already gets a bunch of female abuse victim coded plots he can fit into this. however girl homoeroticism is still obligatory. let’s say beronica to make up for their lack of interaction since the timejump. (honorary mention for beronica thoroughbreds scheme. don’t know how to pull this off with hiram gone but you will always be famous)

orphan

one of the couples (through gritted teeth i guess barchie) decides to adopt and the exact plot of the movie plays out except the audience is not surprised the child turns out to be a 30 year old serial killer in the end because she’s also played by one of the hot young adult cw actors in pigtails but through the whole episode no one acknowledges that.

nine lives

hiram comes back as a cat. i’m somewhat convinced they cast mark consuelos as hiram off of his role in this movie.

#ask #anon #riverdale #thank you SO MUCH for this chance to procrastinate all my uni work this is delightful #happy to talk about any of these some more btw #both the movies and the riverdale plot suggestions

[preemshots]

johnny + the nomads lore

alright, i know this is a screenshots blog but i'm going to go ahead and start dropping some juicy lore tidbits as i dig them up. part of what i'm doing outside of just photo diarying is shard hunting, and BOY is there a lot the game likes to hide in those little shards for idiots like me who like to read so we can write unnecessarily accurate fanfiction! 

full disclosure, i know jack shit about the TTRPG/cyberpunk 2020 rulebook except what i read in the wikis. 

so here’s my lore roundup so far of everything i know about johnny joining the nomads

we know johnny likes to narrate v’s quest objectives. here’s the first mention where he says it himself: 

during the voodoo boys quest "transmission" there's a shard in the maglev tunnels beside the ice bath, presumably from brigitte's research into johnny in the first place:

okay, so the timeline is this: johnny joins the nomads after trying and failing to rescue alt. johnny hides out in the badlands for some years. then he and rogue come back to night city and nuke arasaka tower help alt escape the arasaka subnet by uploading liberator to their network once and for all.

this ultimately makes sense. in alt’s flashback, we meet santiago, who is a nomad/connected to nomads, joins rogue and johnny when they're trying to get alt back, and eventually becomes the leader of the aldecaldos. 

part of santiago’s TTRPG lore is that he, johnny, and rogue have to lay low in the badlands with nomads after they storm arasaka headquarters (i am aware the game takes many liberties with the original lore so who knows the full accuracy of anything from the original rulebooks)

ENDING spoilers: in the rogue+johnny storming AHQ ending, it's revealed that rogue has a son while they're prepping for the job. if you eavesdrop on her calling him while you're at the afterlife, you hear her tell her son to (paraphrasing here) "pull over and look at the stars", which immediately made my brain go to: nomad, badlands, santiago = dad? maybe. (santiago also canonically has a son according to the TTRPG lore)

this immediately reminded me of another interesting shard that i believe you can find in multiple locations around night city: “"what REALLY happened in arasaka tower?“

i love this dang shard. at first i thought it was just a cute conspiracy with some juicy gossip (and i love how 99% of the shards that mention johnny in this game are reminding us that he's not a real rebel, he's a poser) but it brings some interesting shit together

one: it tells us where johnny got his hands on the nukes! he and the nomads jumped a militech convoy and jacked some bombs! 

which is never directly explained, even as saburo arasaka is interrogating him shortly before using soulkiller. very nice of johnny to protect his homies like that. 

...or maybe he didn’t. saburo emphasizes that the dead don’t lie like the living do, and we don’t know what exactly arasaka did to johnny’s construct in mikoshi. 

it also explains why the obvious media narrative is that militech nuked arasaka, a nice neat political bow to the end of the fourth corpo wars, which is an entire section of the TTRPG lore that makes my eyes cross when i read it. 

it also makes the star/nomads ending extremely interesting, because i originally believed it was the ending where V’s journey deviates the most from rewalking johnny’s path... which also has weird implications if the johnny’s nomad era is being kept from v. 

(this also leads into my belief that the star ending/the devil ending are narratively two sides of the same coin, but that’s a WHOLE ANOTHER POST for another day.)

TWO, just straight up the fact that they turned the raid where they actually obtained the nukes into an action flick BD that pretty much ANYONE could watch. who the hell was doing that?? 

well, who else other than the guy who johnny (optionally) punched the shit out of for filming alt's death: thompson, media guy, and according to rogue, “bad luck”. because you know, recording your crimes is straight up evidence that can be used against you.

during the alt flashback we meet thompson, and just after that in cyberspace before meeting alt, johnny tells v that he has no idea what happened to him and that they never worked together again. 

oh, johnny, you lying bastard man

this is blatantly untrue, and if V even had two braincells and better memory than a goldfish they'd know this--in the first flashback sequence where johnny and rogue nuke arasaka tower, thompson is on the comms as they ride the AV towards AHQ, questioning their plans and use of violence. 

which leaves me with some questions, like where the fuck is thompson, why does johnny keep lying about this, why doesn't johnny say almost anything about how you interact with the aldecaldo clan nonstop throughout the game when he himself may have been a member of the family for some time?? is he continuing to protect the nomad clan that saved his ass? we know that a lot of his flashbacks are unreliable at best, that johnny changes shit up as desired when presenting V with his memories.

in 2077, you can also find that there’s a remake of “badlands raid” in the shard “new release braindances” that is pretty much everywhere. that shard doesn’t add much, but does mention something along the lines of “many people don’t know the ending of the original” which probably means johnny punched thompson out for filming again, or something. 

my running theories: rogue ditched santiago and the aldecaldos with johnny and thompson to nuke arasaka tower, and when johnny died she was stuck looking for (heavily implied by johnny here:) corpo sellout ways to survive.

adam smasher obviously has something to do with this since johnny/rogue's vendetta against the guy isn't entirely clear beyond the smokescreen of "he killed johnny and he sucks". i have done 0 research into this though i'm tired of typing okay

i obviously cannot be certain i have found everything related to this in the game as i’m not even done with this playthrough where i’m trying to pay attention, but i hope this is fun for someone else to dig into. 

enjoy, fellow silverhand freaks

EDIT: additional findings

ALRIGHT I HAVE DONE MORE DIGGING AND I AM BACK WITH MORE NOMAD/JOHNNY FINDINGS. these ones are kind of a bummer but VERY interesting.

there’s a shard called “excerpts from a history of the nomads by bb pires” that goes into detail about how nomads came to be

there’s an interesting quote in it: It's hard to imagine a group less inclined to wandering than farmers, but in fact they were the ones who sparked the age of nomads. Natural catastrophes, crops ravaged by bioplagues, armed conflicts and martial law allowing corporations to speculate and privatize land - all this forced them into a life on the road.

when you ask johnny why he wants to take down arasaka, he begins by referencing this himself!!

it’s a little awkward to imagine a nomad V doesn’t also know what he’s referencing, but hey, V is the fool because we are as players and that’s only one life path... so sure.

johnny also has unique dialogue during this scene about a nomad origin V, telling them that he’s been trying to understand how V thinks, and came to the conclusion that “their family was a crutch” and essentially made them stupid because they always had a safety net (lmao johnny calling v privileged basically)

BUT this also may reference why johnny would find it confusing as hell that V doesn’t immediately share the views he does when nomads, in terms of values, seem to be more aligned with johnny than V is. but once again V is the fool for a reason and this is all my own speculation so YOU KNOW.

MORE IMPORTANTLY, at the end of chippin’ in, when you ask johnny what he meant by letting down his friends... santiago is named directly

i thought this was interesting since the only glimpse of their relationship that we get is seeing johnny meeting santiago via the alt flashback for the first time.

so now it’s obvious that while johnny and rogue were with the nomads their friendship developed, and johnny went on to disappoint santiago in some way by being his normal dickhead self

but HOW? how did he disappoint santiago? is santiago even still alive?? did smasher kill santiago and is this why rogue mentions during chippin’ in that she wants smasher to “settle a score” moreso than avenge johnny??

the only additional hints i have are from this shard, which you can find at the aldecaldos camp: “nomads at ground zero”

i’m just gonna transcribe here and bold for emphasis:

It was no secret that Night Corp offered generous pay and, in some cases, free cyberware and biomonitor upgrades to anyone willing to help clean up the crater of radioactive rubble at AHQ ground zero. Some firsthand accounts recall the incessant ticking of Geiger counters, like the loud buzz of cicadas in summer. In retrospect, we can only guess how many "crater cleaners" lost their lives to radiation sickness shortly thereafter. Both the city government and Night Corp have claimed casualties were kept to a minimum, while providing no official statistics to substantiate the claim. That being said, they have never been under pressure to release such figures. After all, most rescue, engineering, and rubble cleanup teams were not local Night Citizens, but nomads. Surprised you didn't know? Don't be. It is a fact many history courses tend to overlook. The city employed hundreds of nomad mercenaries, primarily from clans in Aldecaldo nation. These nomads were hungry for gainful work and the city needed experts who were not only experienced but brave enough to knowingly put their lives on the line - all so Arasaka could one day erect another tower in its place. But history is not without its sense of irony. These nomads, who so deliberately live outside our so-called "system," came to its very rescue. Not for the first time. And not for the last.

a main theme we find in this game is the idea that the system of corps and exploitation cannot be stopped by grandiose rebellious gestures--no amount of samurai songs, assassinating mayors, or even planting nukes in towers will change things. yet johnny, his friends and mercs at atlantis in the 2020s, including rogue, chose to rebel any way they could, thinking it better than not. johnny criticizes her lack of rebellious spirit CONSTANTLY in 2077.

but ultimately, johnny, trapped in mikoshi, didn’t get to see the outcome of what detonating the AHQ nukes did to night city’s fragile ecosystem. rogue, however, did--and likely watched their former allies, the aldecaldos, be forced to take dangerous work at AHQ’s ground zero (from lack of other opportunities as detailed in this shard), then die from radiation sickness throughout the following decades, all as a result of what she and johnny did to try and fight the system. and she also watched all the former mercenaries of atlantis be hunted down by arasaka.

so rogue sees firsthand what the cost of rebellion is and johnny doesn’t. and nomads, considered the most free of any of the factions we encounter in the game, are the cost.

#lore post #johnny silverhand #cyberpunk 2077 #cyberpunk2077 #cp2077 #cyberpunk lore

[majimemegoro]

just finished watching a playthrough of saejima's hunting storyline and i get why you like okudera so much now. he's a pretty minor character in the eyes of the game's main storyline but damn, he's genuinely really compelling, alongside the entire hunting storyline...i really fuckin like this dude now. anyways, i wanted to ask, do you know of a timeline or anything of his backstory? cause its. a little confusing for me to understand

WE CAUGHT ONE LADS

jokes aside I'm so glad you watched, so glad you liked it, and so glad you took the time to let me know. for anyone else who wants the chance to discover the joy of MR OKUDERA, whether or not you have a ps4 or steam, you can do that here.

as for the backstory timeline... buckle up, because it's convoluted as heck. We learn about the events of 9 years ago partially through the false story of the villagers and partially from okudera (whose tell-all story at the end is also, I think, a bit cagey and perhaps deliberately vague). these in-text obstacles to determining The Truth are exacerbated by the fact that the remastered version has at least one egregious translation error, and hence the possibility of other errors.

But I've spent a LOT of time trying to figure out the timeline. like a stupid amount of time. and while i still plan to do a serious methodical review of the story and determine the possibilities once and for all, I'll take this as an opportunity to lay out what I currently figure is probably the case.

disclaimers: y5 spoilers for the okudera/hunting storyline follow. i also havent systematically reviewed the evidence before posting, so it's possible that there will be errors. if anyone notices them, PLEASE point them out! meanwhile I will do my best to specify what is fact and what is interpretation: events I am 99-100% sure of, and are stated more or less explicitly in the text, will go in normal text, while I'll put my own filling-in-the-blanks and original notes in [square brackets]. I have some pretty detailed personal headcanons to do with these events, but I will NOT bring them up. Here I promise I will only bring up speculation that has a textual basis and is strictly necessary to fill in the gaps of the accounts given by mr okudera and the other vilalgers.

I will refer from now on to mr okduera as Sato, and to og okudera as okudera.

~10 years ago

the upcoming changes to hunting regulations are announced, and a hunting boom begins on the mountain [this could be more than 10 years ago]

sato breaks out of Abashiri, either crashes or abandons his snowmobile, and is saved by okudera

[Nishina recovers the snowmobile at some point]

okudera teaches sato how to hunt "as I (sato) was losing hope of living"

meanwhile the natural balance on the mountain is decaying due to overhunting, and bears are becoming vicious

~9 years ago, 6 months after sato's arrival in the village

yama-oroshi, the giant-size bear, is first spotted and starts causing trouble

~9 years ago

during a blizzard, okudera goes out after yama-oroshi. [the villagers give conflicting accounts of his intentions. i think sakurai says okudera wanted to help them, while nishina says he was after money. unclear whether sakurai is telling his honest opinion or a cover story]

sato goes around begging the villagers for food with "hat in hand" and is given some by mrs nishina [note that he apparently didn't have any, even though, if you accept this timeline, yama-oroshi hadn't yet attacked the village and destroyed its food stores. mrs nishina tells the story of okduera begging, and she doesnt specify when it happens, but i think it was probably here? not sure though.]

sato follows okudera into the mountain, intending to kill him

sato finds okudera; okudera reveals that he already knew sato was planning to kills him, and tells him that it's okay to carry out his mission

sato decides not to kill okudera

Okudera is attacked by Yama-oroshi. Sato passes out. [was he attacked???]

[okudera fights off yama-oroshi alone, defending the unconscious sato and succeeding in driving the bear away]

However okudera is grievously injured

Sato awakens on bloody snow. [presumably the site of the original attack, though its not for sure.] the dying okudera holds his hand and tells him to take his name and continue living in order to atone for both of their crimes.

[at some point here okudera presumably dies. it is possible that sato buries him at this time, but perhaps more likely that sato immediately follows yama-oroshi, who is headed towards the village, presumably having been driven in that direction during the fight against sato. saving the village from a demon bear would seem like a good way to begin atoning for a life of crime.]

Yama-oroshi attacks the village, ruining buildings and eating/destroying all of the food stored up for the winter, including the buried food

(still 9 years ago, but after this the order of events gets really fuzzy. the remaining events may shift slightly in order, depending on one's stance on the next bullet)

sato saves the village somehow [this bit is really vague. possibly this comment is referring to ways in which sato helped revitalize the matagi principles of conservation and mutual aid in the village. but I think it is more likely that he did something more concrete, namely, luring yama-oroshi away from the village. otherwise why did Yama-oroshi leave before killing anyone? someone did something, I think, and I think it was sato.]

[sato reports to the villagers that okudera ("sato") is missing - probably NOT that he is dead. the villagers then presumably report this to the police, since sato cannot be seen by the police, who would surely recognize and escapee from Abashiri.] [Note that sakurai tells saejima that sato (mr okduera) went into the mountain after og okudera BECAUSE og okudera was already missing, but I don't think this makes sense unless it's part of the fake cover story. it's also possible that sato told the villagers okudera was missing & he was following him for that reason, since he wouldnt have admitted he was planning to kill him...]

[some of] the villagers realize or suspect that sato/”okudera” is the escaped convict. [because they would know WHEN sato showed up, and when the escape occurred, and they would know that the bigger guy who disappeared had been with them for too long to be the escapee]

the villagers decide to protect sato (”okudera”) by secretly following him on the mountain, and by shunning him so that they have an excuse for not knowing him well and hence not reporting his identity to the police.

[it seems that Sato never admits to the villagers that he knew okudera died. OR the villagers pretend not to believe that okudera is dead?? which is weird since youd think after almost a decade, “went missing on the mountain during a blizzard” would entail “presumed dead”... but i digress]

the village spends the rest of the winter and perhaps longer on the “brink of starvation”

at some point the new hunting regulations go into effect.

and that's the events of 9-10 years ago, as near as I can figure them.

Thoughts? questions? me too !!! please speak up, and thanks for the ask, comrade.

here is a user badge for you:

#okudera #sato kiyoshi #meta #yakuza 5 #frozen roar #frozen roar spoilers #y5 #memecomradeoriginal #majimeta #whew that was a lot #edited and hopefully somewhat complete now...

[ot3-watch]

Episode 5: The Mile High Job

WHY IS THIS EPISODE 8

FUCK THE NETWORK I’M VERY TIRED

So we’re starting on a client testimony. Which is sad because I kind of like the context establishing scenes

Sophie being French is hilarious

I’m not saying Hardison shouldn’t be able to take off when he needs to. I am saying that MAYBE THEY SHOULD PLAN HEISTS FOR DAYS WHEN THEY ARE A MEMBER SHORT?

Also, why does Hardison not put his food on a plate before he puts it in the microwave. That spinning plate does not get washed nearly enough for that to be sanitary

OK wait did Hardison just flake out? THEN WHY DID THEY NOT POSTPONE?

THEY SHOULD HAVE PLANNED THIS MUCH BETTER

I love Parker being magic and teleporting

The security guards always seem like idiots and tbh, working where I work with the security guards being who they are, I feel like it’s all bullshit and a disservice to security guards.

I love the Doctor WHo references. TOM AND SARAH JANE BAKER YES MA’AM

But also did no one make a Doctor Who comment? Like really. I know Tom Baker is probably a common name but I really want to know what happens when they get a whovian checking their IDs

THe poor flight attendant. That sucks. Can you imagine getting a COMPLETELY fake call that your cat might be put down? I’m sorry, I can’t. Completely innocent people get screwed by them sometimes and I feel bad

Eliot remembers everyone he’s slept with I love him.

THIS POOR FLIGHT ATTENDANT? WHat happens when she comes back and everyone is side eyeing her and being bitchy?

I hate the trope of girlfriends or love interests being overly sensitive about people remembering tiny details. Especially when they aren’t actually together. Especially when it happened years ago. Especially when they hold it against them for the whole episode.

SOME PEOPLE HAVE TERRIBLE MEMORIES OK

Also, this is Nate. It’s a shock he has any brain cells left with how drunk he is 99% of the time. Get OVER yourself Sophie.

PLACE YOUR MASK OVER YOUR MOUTH AND NOSE ok Leverage predicting the future…

Parker being a terrible flight attendant is hilarious

Did I like her in this episode? I think I liked her in this episode

Eliot suffering through economy I can’t

I feel bad for the woman, but like… stop pushing? I know she’s nervous but the flight attendant is trying to do her job. I mean, it’s Parker, but in any normal situation…

Hardison pulls the same “You’re such a racist” bit every time he gets in a sticky situation, and it always works? Can you imagine if he tried to pull that on an actual racist?

Do planes have bars like that? I’ve been on plenty of planes and i’ve never seen a bar like that

Im never in first class though so whatever

OKAY GUYS THE IN-FLIGHT MOVIE IS ONE OF THE LIBRARIANS MOVIES

Which means noah wyle exists in the leverage universe.

HOW IS THAT GOING TO WORK WITH THE REBOOT THOUGH?

Unless they just… expected no one to notice? To be fair, it’s not like they focused on it

They probably just needed a movie they could use without securing rights first or running into copyright issues

But still… paradoxes

Eliot just going through a bunch of random people's bags…

HE AND PARKER MOVING AROUND EACH OTHER SO COMFORTABLY THOUGH

THIS IS SEASON ONE WHY ARE THEY SO GOOD TOGETHER ALREADY

I LOVE THEM GUYS

Parker. That’s not reassuring Parker. Parker that’s just terrifying. WHY WOULD YOU SAY SOMETHING LIKE THAT PARKER?? pARKER?? i’M CONCERNED PARKER!

I really hate Sophie getting mad at nate for this shit. It’s not funny. It’s not cute. It just makes Sophie seem unreasonable and bitchy

OK BUT Hardison and the woman bonding IMMEDIATELY over nerdy gaming is so great

Also i like that they made the other nerd a woman is great

OK but he is not talking nearly silently enough for the ONLY other person in the room to just stop listening to him?

Could you imagine the person you were talking to randomly stops talking, looks upset, and then sticks his head in the cabinet? And starts muttering to himself?

LIKE EITHER HE CAN’T TELL REALITY FROM FANTASY OR HES A SPY

WHY ARE YOU NOT SUSPICIOUS??

He really does pull this shit off really well.

The amount of men in that conference room is oppressive and very realistic ina very sad way

Parker must be in a thief’s paradise

OKAY I REMEMBER NOW AND I DID LIKE PARKER IN THIS EPISODE

“Nobody tells me anything”

THAT’S SUCH A MOOD

Literally the job I’m working in right now is exactly like that

My job is literally to know things and help people and provide them with the information they need

AND STILL I’M ONE OF THE LAST TO FIND THINGS OUT

IT’S VERY FRUSTRATING OK

WHy can I not remember why they’re going after genegrow? Someone died I think? But i cannot remember

“The guy in 1D wants to kill you. Ginger Ale?”

Why is it that all i can think about right now is harry styles and niall horan

I mean I KNOW why but like… why

I LOVE them but why?

WHAT IS THIS OFFICE WOMAN’S NAME I LOVE HER

How does no one question Hardison showing up out of nowhere though?

Im just saying… supposedly it’s “Dave’s” birthday, and they think they should have already known about it? He just started that job on that day?

Unless he’s pretending to have been there forever but even then…

This makes no sense? I’m so confused?

Eliot beating a guy up in an airport bathroom is fantastic

But also you can’t fit one person in a airport bathroom, let alone two

THe view from the top is much smaller than the shots from the side

Parker: the guy we just took out? Eliot: -_- Parker: The guy Eliot just took out?

Sophie always seems so shocked by the inhumanity of some of these people they interact with. Nate’s like “Yeah, people are awful” and Eliot’s like “I see worse all the time” and Parker’s like “Is this meant to be weird or something?” but Sophie’s like “WHAt? Someone wants people DEAD? And might KILL US IN THE PROCESS?”

Is the art theft world just not so violent?

Even hardison doesn’t seem shocked, just upset and offended. Sophie’s always like OoO though and it gets weird?

Now both Eliot AND Nate are fitting in the bathroom? With an already unconscious guy? I’VE BEEN IN AIRPLANE BATHROOMS. THEY AREN’T BIG ENOUGH FOR THAT.

Unless i’m just fat. Which is an option.

Why do people have random wires in their luggage? Who travels with a giant bundle of wires in their luggage?

Oh look. The red head was right. There is a tailwind

OK But THE OXYGEN MASKS CAME DOWN AND NO ONE IS TRYING TO PUT ONE ON?

I know they’re panicking but still

Nate really does just throw things at hardison and then Hardison goes like WHAT I CAN’T DO THIS and then he does it.

HOW is Hardison THAT talented it’s ridiculous

WE all talk about Eliot being hyper-competent in everything when Hardison is literally right there

Not to say that eliot doesn’t deserve attention because he does and I love him

I LOVE ELIOT OKAY

I’m just saying Hardison deserves more credit

HOW DID THEY NOT HIT ANY CARS WHEN THEY WERE LANDING? THERE ARE CARS RIGHT THERE? ANd then there’s suddenly no cars in font of them when they land ? It’s all deserted?

HARDISON IS SO GOOD THOUGH

How did they set up a party for “Dave” so quickly?

WHY DOES NO ONE LOOK TO SEE WHO DAVE WAS YELLING AT?

Everyone is so done with Hardison and honestly? Fair. He might’ve saved them, but he also screwed them over earlier. It came in handy, but still.

I really could not give less of a shit about the Nate Sophie storyline in this episode. In most of season one really. It’s all shitty and annoying

FINAL THOUGHTS: 8/10. Points off for people not acting like people. Points off for the shitty Sophie/Nate stuff. Extra points for Eliot being Eliot. (There will always be extra points for Eliot being Eliot). Extra points for Hardison’s badassery. Extra points because I liked Parker in this episode. Extra points for nerd girl. You go nerd girl. Points off because I literally remember nothing about this episode except for Hardison being awesome, the office scenes, and the fact that there was a plane crash. Why were they on the plane? No idea. Can’t remember.

Sam count: 3/5

IYS count: 2/5 (Am I remembering this wrong? I felt like there were more? Then again, I’m only 5 episodes in)

#leverage #leverage ot3 #leverage rewatch #eliot spencer #parker #alec hardison #nathan ford #sophie devereaux #episode 5 #the mile high job #rewatch #ot3