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jhuzen · 9 months

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work for it [m.reader]

THIRD ONE FOR MY COMPENSATION GOOD GOD. anyway this one ain’t genshin as you can see. this is in celebration of imbibitor lunae, as your numero uno whore, i oFFER ANOTHER QUICKIE, really this took me 30 minutes because i’m so horny after kazuha and neuvillette. loosely based on this brainrot this anon and i fucking convulsed over. you’re also getting a full fic one day IL anon *kissy kiss*,

𖦹 nsfw, dan heng has two cocks, needy dan heng/feng, he’s a little pillow princess and i hate it, desperation, top male reader (tho switch implied)

“So needy…”

Your words were sending him into overdrive, his mind could barely comprehend a single thought that went through him. At this point the only thing Dan Heng could ever make out, though faintly, was the fact that it feels good, and that you were doing him so well.

You took the backseat momentarily. You had greatly underestimated what it meant for your majestic stoic lover to suddenly transform into what seems to be a very… ancient race of draconic humans. A Vidya— whatever.

And to even say that you had greatly underestimated him, would be an understatement in of itself. Because suddenly, your standoffish Dan Heng, whom you’ve clung onto relentlessly (bothering him to no ends that it even frightened Welt, the most patient man in the Express, about how well you’re truly testing Dan Heng’s patience), was suddenly the one clinging to you.

Though it wasn’t overt, but everyone in the Express sees it. Whenever March would pass by with Caelus, whenever Himeko looked up from her possibly fifth coffee for the day, whenever Welt would come to ask something — they could all see how tightly wrapped that long tail of his around your body.

It started off with the familiar subtlety, akin to his very ghostly kisses whenever he’d accidentally dip his head to grab a book from behind you. His tail would wrap around your leg. And as days go by, that very tail would increasingly become much higher, first around your shin, then to your knee, then to your thigh. Until it reached its rightful place, with a tail constantly curled around your waist like a persistent snake.

Don’t even get started on the nights.

Either way — the bottom line in the Express, is that dragons will remain relatively protective across all worlds. The premise is the same. They are the same creatures that look after what they own, protective — even jealous to a fault. Though, to his credit, Dan Heng was able to keep everything within the lines of sheer subtlety. He knew how and when to tone it down, courtesy of his relatively calm life before… his revelation as the high elder of his very… majestic species.

Though, as it stands, it seems that his looming presence and consistent insinuation that you were his wasn’t the only thing that amped up.

And tonight, you’ve truly admitted defeat to the stamina monster that was your draconic lover.

Dan Heng as the Imbibitor Lunae was someone you can only call an insatiable first timer.

He was meek as he relished in your kisses, whimpering and shaking like a frightened prey as he continued to indulge in such affections that you openly showed him. He was helpless in your grasp, only letting out the neediest whines as he continued to try and cover himself despite the fact your hand was already on his fascinating cocks, protruding and standing proud under your sensual touches. Your fingers covered in his previous release as you continued to pump your hand, easily engulfing his shafts that twitched under your grip.

Dan Heng could only writhe as pleasure racked through every inch of his quivering body. And oh, the way you mouth at his sensitive nipples, sucking on them as if your life depended on it, it was enough to leave his mind in complete shambles.

His cries echoed through the room and if anyone could listen, they’d be certain to hear the intimate bliss within the tone of his sweet moans and gasps.

And even you had to share the sheer pleasure as you sunk into him, you watched yourself get swallowed whole by his entrance, and little by little you could feel just how warm his tight walls were, soft and tender, absolutely drenched just from your ministrations.

Within the lusty haze your mind drowned in, you promised yourself to get in a couple of rounds until Dan Heng pleads for no more.

You were the first to tap out.

It could have been the sixth or fifth, but you were done, your body ached for some rest and yet your pretty pillow prince absolutely refused to let you go, with his possessive tail cuffing you into him, letting you continue on with your plans to fucking him into oblivion.

It’s not that you can’t cum anymore, the erotic sight of your lover can keep you going. But the rest of your body that is somehow not your dick cannot keep up with the endless demands. So you figured you’d withdraw the spoiling for now and let Dan Heng work for his next few orgasms while you sit back and relax.

Which leads to the present — you watching in genuine fascination as your poor dragon sobbed and pleaded for you to switch places for him.

“Oh, you do not know how to ride at all.” Your admonishing came out in a purr and you could feel him clench around your cock as he continued to sloppily ride you with the gusto of an inexperienced virgin. And you loved it. There was a certain charm to Dan Heng’s neediness crossing with his absolute ineptness in even finding the right place to hit even with your own throbbing length under his mercy.

Dan Heng was an inexplicable mess, his long hair completely sprawled out through his creamy skin that was laced with a sheen of sweat. Pitiful tears adorned his luminescent eyes that glowed with so much desperation for you. His bottom lip bled with how many times he chewed on it every time he thought he’d reach his climax, only to completely fall flat when he would freeze up and lose the momentum and friction.

“Come on now, love, you’ve done so much~ surely this is a walk in the park for you,” you jested with a teasing grin, a hand interlocked with his and he squeezed yours tight as he started over again — another agonizing round that he cannot cum over.

“P-Please, switch… switch w-with me, I-I need you…” he begged, sobbed even with crocodile tears and all. He placed his hands on your chest, propping himself up, trembling. His nails dug into your flesh as he continued to plead for you while he bobbed his hips up and down in such a sloppy manner.

A smirk graced your lips as you took his hand, pressing the softest and sweetest kisses on his palm and on his knuckles, looking at his eyes that brimmed with more tears with your half-lidded ones.

“But I’m all tuckered out, baby,” you murmured into the palm of his hands, lips trailing into his fingertips with more kisses. “Think after this, we can call it a day?” You prodded with a teasing tone and in an instant, you could feel his walls clench tighter around your cock, an act of defiance, a complete refusal to your tiny suggestion.

“N-No—! W-Want more… I need more…” Dan Heng’s pleas reached your ears like an angel’s cry and you indulged in it.

Your hand found his shafts quick, expertly rubbing through his cocks that throbbed within your ministrations, “Surely this is enough then? You just need to cum, right?” You taunted with a sly grin as you lazily pumped your hand around him.

It would’ve been enough, for anybody.

But not your pillow prince. Dan Heng’s hand quickly grabbed your wrist, stopping your movement. He softly groaned as he fully sat on your lap, your cock buried to the hilt inside him. He shook his head with a vehement rejection, he looked at you with aching need, his hips squirming on yours from feeling so stuffed up.

“N-No…”

“No? But I thought—”

A sob tore from his throat as Dan Heng leaned down, his nose on the crook of your neck, “No,” he parroted with a pitiful yet so very adorable sniffle. “‘S not enough.”

“Not enough?” You parroted with a fake frown.

“Not enough…” He whined. While the tempting bliss of cumming just with your skillful hands was all the more inviting, it didn’t feel right.

It could never feel right if he came without you balls deep inside him. He wanted to feel more of the warmth that you offered every time you painted his walls white, he craved the very sensation of you flooding him with little to no regard for anything else — just breeding him until he somehow magically bends the biological process of a Vidyadhara and gets to carry your children.

You cooed softly, placing a hand on his head and bringing it down to plant a sweet kiss on his forehead. He preened at the soft affection as he melted in your touch.

“Such a needy dragon you are,” you laughed before pulling out and swiftly switching positions.

Dan Heng laid on his back, shivering in anticipation while you positioned yourself in between his quivering thighs. Your lips couldn’t help but curl up in smug satisfaction as he looked at you with a feral need to be bred by you, and yet, he only laid there with the expectation that you’ll do most of the work again.

Of course, that wouldn’t do.

You crawled up to him, length brushing against his clenching rim with such demand. You caged him in your arms as you tilted your head with the ever-so present smirk on your pretty face.

“I’m still all too tired, love,” your words caught him off guard, “You gotta help me out a little here.”

His wide-eyed innocence was torturously delectable. Your hand slid down to grip onto the meat of his thighs, raising it up, “Hold yourself up for me, pretty please?” You pleaded with a charming smile, earning yourself an all too eager nod from your draconic lover.

You could only pull back with a satisfied smile as Dan Heng held his legs spread open for you, his fingers digging into his own flesh with such visceral need and he could only look up at you pleadingly.

“P-Please…”

Lining yourself up, you watched your own cock sink into Dan Heng’s quivering hole with such ease, a soft sigh escapes your lips contrasting a rather deep cry from him. He jolted as you bottomed out and magically managed to hit that sweet, sweet spot of his with so much ease.

His hands that held up his legs almost gave out, his back arching with the raw pleasure that you brought.

Before he could even beg you to move, your hips drew back and snapped back into him. Your thrusts were merciless, leaving no room for your spoiled beloved to complain. You could only indulge in his soft cries that reverberated through the room and the sinful sounds of your skin slapping against each other with every decisive thrust that you made.

Dan Heng was sure to reach the high heavens with the very feeling that you brought inside him, his walls tightening up against you with so much need.

A strangled gasp weaseled out of Dan Heng’s drying throat as you leaned down to mouth at his already sensitive buds, your teeth and tongue in pursuit of relentlessly assaulting his poor chest with every suckle and bite until they were too sensitive for anything.

“H-Hah—! N-No more—!” He whimpered, as his hands left his thighs, clutching onto your hands that sunk into the dip of his narrow waist. “T-Too fast…!”

His complaints only spurred you further to keep doing so, sounding more like an encouragement as your hips continued to move and push into him, with the carnal need to just make him feel every inch of your cock. Tears spilled from Dan Heng’s eyes, and he could only gasp out your name as the highest pleasure engulfed his body.

Thin ropes of cum spurts out of his cocks as you pushed out another orgasm from him, you following closely as you filled him up with so much of yours.

An exhausted sigh leaves you, groaning as you fell into Dan Heng, “Next time, you’re doing all the work.”

Dan Heng only blinked, “What do y—gck…!” He jolted as your hand grasped on his cocks with a lazy smile.

“It’s two for one, at least let me experience a good bargain for once in my life.”

Your words only left him breathless and eager.

#and that’s the end of my horniness #for now #YES THAT IS HIS LIGHTCONE ON THE PIC #YES THAT IS HIS BOOBA #dan heng il come to me my love i am ready to cash all my life savings for you #hsr x male reader #honkai star rail x male reader #dan heng x male reader #dan heng il x male reader #imbibitor lunae x male reader #sub hsr #jhuzen’s stupid one shots #jhuzen’s shameless filth

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poorly-drawn-mdzs · 4 months

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At the start of this project all I wanted was to 'learn how to draw' using comics as a medium and the MDZS audio drama as inspiration.

I've come *very* far from making simple, 3 panel black and white comics, and I truly do intend to go even further. Thank you to everyone who cheered me on throughout 2023, it has been an incredible year in so many ways I never could have imagined. I look forwards to drawing throughout 2024 B*)

#poorly drawn mdzs #art summary #It's so interesting looking back at how my style and technique changed throughout the year!#I used PD-wwx as the consistent factor (October is an exception) and you can see so many processes going on.#My little petri dish amoeba (with a little red bow to tell him apart from the other amoeba) <3 #Whether it's getting new markers or trying out a new shading style - it's cool seeing a snapshot of my journey like this B*)#There's certainly been a slower curve to my overt improvement *but* I have become so much faster!#My life outside of drawing has been hectic and at several points extremely stressful this year. For all the work this blog has been-#-It has truly been a life saving anchor when the darkest of times have hit.#Love is hard work. Change is even harder work. Sticking to a goal I set out for myself and striving to keep going was worth it.#And I love drawing. I think there has always been something in me that longed for this. And it is finally tangible! I can draw!!!#I wanted to make a more elaborate year reflection where I looked back at my favourite comics and jokes.#but I'll leave that to the one year anniversary.#I have also been collecting a ton of statistics throughout the year and I am desperate to share them. I'm that kind of nerd B*)#I can never say it enough: Thank you all for the kindness and support. I wish everyone a lovely 2024!!!

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nancywheeeler · 1 year

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hopeless time loop. the way out isn’t to save everyone. the way out isn’t to save even one person. the way out isn’t to change anything. the way out is accepting how it happened the first time is how it always will be. that’s how you acted, that’s how they acted, that’s how you would have acted every time if you weren’t given the curse of hindsight. the way out is accepting you can’t fix the past; you can only forgive yourself for it.

#there's this game i love called little hope that plays with these ideas (though not with a time loop)#i do love time loops narratives that explore how a person is confronted with their life and their choices #when forced to live the same day over and over again #and i LOVE time loops that try to reverse mistakes made and lives lost #but to see a character put themselves through loops upon loops upon loops #trying to rectify past mistakes (especially in the case where people died) only to be confronted with the reality it isn't working #and even in a loop where they save everyone the loop just resets #because the universe is essentially saying 'no that isn't how it happened and you know that's not how it happened'#it compels me!#i feel similarly about time travel where time 'fights back'#like this idea that there is a central timeline that time does not like being diverted from #so it will try to course correct itself #you save lincoln from an assassination only for him to die in a train crash #it's a cool way to confront the idea of fate #anyway all tragedies are hopeless time loops thank you for coming to my ted talk #a shout into the void #1k

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regina-del-cielo · 7 months

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Maybe it's a 'study finds water is wet' type of thought, but

considering it's an action movie whose overall plot is "immortal warriors Fuck Shit Up™️", I think it's significant that in The Old Guard the thing that makes Copley pull red strings through his Murder Conspiracy Board and say "[Merrick] doesn't care what [Andy]'s done with [her immortality]" is the people they save, not the ones they kill

Most of the Conspiracy Board is him circling random newspaper headlines and faces on old photographs to (more or less realistically) follow the immortals' treck through the world and big historical events. Which is, in-canon, not much different than putting portraits from different centuries next to a picture of Keanu Reeves and saying "they look the same, clearly Reeves is an immortal!"

But then there are the connections. A little girl holding Joe's hand in WW1 becoming the youngest (and first) woman to be awarded a Nobel Prize for Medicine (suck it, Kozak). Or the grandchild of a family that Andy saved from [something] helping people escape from the Khmer Rouge genocide in Cambodia.

They are warriors. They have fought and been in the midst of countless wars, major or minor, throughout history. They must have killed as many people as they saved... and yet.

It's not them taking out a random warlord or dictator or rabidly hateful politician that has tangible repercussions in history. It's the children and families they get out of war zones, save from accidents, protect from natural disasters. People to whom they give a second chance at life, and grow to change the world (or even just their own world), like a mysterious stranger once changed theirs just by holding out a hand or patching a wound.

I don't know I just think it's particularly neat

#my ponderings #the old guard #I know we all love to play the 'if you could go back in time and kill One Person who would it be' game #but I think a movie that makes it EXTREMELY SATISFYING to see the Bad Guys die -#- having 'actually the best and greatest changes happen when people help each other' as its underlying message...#it means something #I also think it connects to Andy feeling like nothing she does changes anything at the start of the movie #for 80% of her life you could Solve A Problem by Taking Out The Guy Causing The Problem #especially in battle! you kill the general and you win. if you win the Problem Is Solved #but then everything becomes More Complex. the Problems™️ are globalized and/or systemic.#and Winning a Battle means just killing people. it doesn't Stop The Problem (nor really end a war)#so it feels useless #and even when they save people... they can’t stay in people's lives for long because immortality #which means they can never know what happens to the people they save #they don't (and can't) have the full picture

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c-hrona · 9 months

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Hope-

Or tfw you touch grass for the first time in your life, and it makes you so sappy that you can't help it but pray for a brigther future.

If, in said future, there's also your best friend, well, who are you to not hope a little more?

Little comic without any kind of expectations and is showing I did to try the 8 page zine layout and it does work!!! I will do more of these because it was fun as heck and really made me happy to do it!

If you want to print it and have a physical copy, you can find the file on my Ko-fi for free!

Here some photos of my own little prints, tried both the A3 and A4 format and they are so cute! **

#trigun #trigun maximum #vashwood #vash the stampede #nicholas d. wolfwood #chronart #hospital yuri arc my beloved #finished sometime ago and had the time to test out the result only today #posting it now before i die with another week full of nonsense #also don't notice how the A4 format came out strange the printer had a bad day lmao #also can't take a fucking photo to save a life my god #anyway hope you guys will enjoy it!!!!#i didn't throw all my heart and soul into drawing vash and wowo's lovely eyes nope nope!!!!

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naffeclipse · 10 months

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I don't know when I'll ever write this, but I've had this AU in the back of my mind ever since Bendy and the Dark Revival came out, and it's best to get it out of my head before it festers and rots.

More or less, it's BatDR and the DCA smashed into one. The premise is that you are an animator at Fazbear Studios and Sun and Moon are humans who go by Cyrus and Mani respectively, employed as voice actors. (First AU with human Sun and Moon whoo! don't get attached though) Vanessa is a janitor who is a bit odd, mostly keeping to herself though sometimes you feel like she's starting at your back when you're alone.

Cyrus and Mani perform as extras in the Fazbear cartoon, adding supporting voices for side characters and miscellaneous lines. Cyrus often supplies humorous, wacky, and surreal voices to his performances. Mani tends to get villainous or spooky characters with his deeper, raspier voice. They both enjoy what they do and love that they can work together as brothers.

You can't help but notice Cyrus and Mani. You admire their skill, their passion, and their smiles, and you sometimes even work up the courage to wave at Cyrus or Mani whenever one of the brothers happens to pass by your work desk.

They inspire you—not just with their work, but with their small acts of care. You find coffee on your desk when you return from a meeting with the other animators with a little smiling sun doodled on the cup. Sometimes, Cyrus asks you to join him on a walk since it's your lunch break and you could really use some sunshine and a chance to stretch your legs. When it gets far too late and you're burning the midnight oil, Mani is somehow always there, doing a funny voice to surprise you with a little reminder that it's past your bedtime. He leaves you little treats in blue wrappers, hidden in places on your desk, among your ink and papers.

It's not a surprise that you start drawing a character for them in your rare off hours when you still have the energy to hold a pencil. The Fazbear cartoon could add a new, permanent character. A robotic jester, lanky and tall, but with two forms for the day and night, funny and sweet and mischievous. Cyrus and Mani could both voice him!

That's silly, however. Fazbear Studios does not want your chaotic and half-brained scribbles nor do you dare show the brothers what they inspired—they might hate it. You keep your little jester character tucked away, along with a small doodle of a minor, nobody, gray character who may or may not be a tag along to the main act that is the jester. Your sketches and concept art are hidden away, far from where the light of day or the shine of night will ever see.

It goes missing one day. You're upset and asking everyone who went through your desk. No one confesses. Cyrus tells you that it'll be okay, he'll help you find it. Mani suggests that you keep locks on your drawers from now on.

It's never found, not that you wanted either of them to stumble upon it. Yet, they stay late with you after everyone has gone home, looking for your precious and secretive sketchbook through the many departments of the studio.

Somewhere along the way, Cyrus disappears, promising to return with your sketchbook. You lose Mani in the audio department before, oh, there's Vanessa. She tells you to come to the basement with her—she found your notebook. You're relieved but a little put off by Vanessa and reluctantly follow her down into the dark.

You don't find your sketchbook, but you do find Cyrus slumped against the wall, blood trickling down his temple, and a strange collection of shrines to one of the studio's cartoon characters.

Before you can rush to his side, pain explodes in your skull, cracking white across your vision. You fall to the ground, dazed, as Vanessa gives a cryptic promise to return with the last sacrifice. You manage to crawl across the floor in your pitiful state to reach Cyrus and attempt to revive him, but by then, Mani is walking in. His shock overtakes him but he dodges a swipe of Vanessa's wrench and starts struggling against her. You try desperately to drag Cyrus somewhere safe as he murmurs for you to get out of here, but in the middle of Vanessa's and Mani's fight, she flips a switch and ink begins filling the room.

The black flood sweeps Cyrus away from you. Pages spill out from the inside of Vanessa's vest, dozens of sketches of your jester character. You cry out. Mani looks to you. Vanessa at last shoves Mani into the surge of onyx liquid beside Cyrus, and you watch both of them go under together. You scream their names. She turns to you, grinning.

The last thing you remember is Vanessa shoving your head into the ink.

Then it's the only thing you remember. You're vaguely aware that your jet-black hands are strange and shiny, and that you don't know where you are in this sepia-colored studio, but you know something's not right. You're missing someone, and someone else. You're scared.

You wander around for a bit until you're attacked by monsters emerging from the ink, shrieking and wailing in gluey dark forms until a wonderful and terrifying automaton arrives. He destroys such a creature about to tear you apart. He stands so tall, detailed with sharp teeth and even sharper sun rays around his large, flat face, but you think you recognize those yellow eyes—a living cartoon.

He helps you calm down and asks for your name in a loud and funny voice that rings like a bell in your mind but you can't name the tune. You don't remember your name. He doesn't remember his either. He leads you away from the harsher spaces of the studio, somewhere 'safer'. You don't know if there is anything as safe, but you feel better with him.

You're startled when after a time, in the middle of talking to this sunshine character, he melts and morphs and bubbles until a crescent moon face emerges and a new grin. You panic before a darker, raspier voice, like a cartoon villain, tells you it's alright. He's here, too. He's not sure what's going on but he, and the other 'him', and you are gonna make it out of here, somehow.

You don't have hope anywhere else but in this unique robot jester, and he seems to want you to stay close to him. So it's you two, the last sane partnership in the crazed and dripping studios, fighting off ink creatures and surviving other bizarre characters. You learn how to wield a gent pipe and the jester is strong on his own, often able to tear things apart or toss monsters off of you before they can do worse. He has claws and teeth and he uses them well.

Vanny is a lady rabbit and a constant threat. She's smart and cunning, unlike the other mostly senseless attackers. She keeps tracking the two of you down and spouting off the religious rhetoric of Inktrap, promising that your sacrifices will be well worth the pain. You had to be introduced to the cycle. The ink has corrupted you perfectly. You are part of this place. You are never leaving and will give in to Inktrap.

You and he avoid Inktrap at all costs. You've only caught glimpses of the shadowy, pitch-black beast, but that's all you need to see as you both hide and hold your breaths until the danger just barely passes by.

You start to call the daytime jester Sun, and he seems to respond to it. The nighttime joker is Moon, and he neither hates nor loves it, but he answers when you call. He has a name for you, too, or rather names. Peach, bird, thrill, calico, and sweetheart. He gets creative and goofy. You think he's being mean sometimes but he tells you he's not, he means it, and you don't know how to take that before you two have to focus on escaping this part of the studio and getting into safer areas. You protect his back and he protects yours, and together, you make this living, unending nightmare bearable. Sharing bacon soup, falling asleep in Moon's lap, and patching up any drips in Sun's inky form becomes something like a life.

It just never stops, repeating over and over. The jester deserves better than this, whatever happened to him. You know you both do.

You become determined to learn how the cycle works and how to prevent it from going on. There's a funny feeling you have that, somehow, you're going to have to go through Vanny and the Inkdemon. One day, you will get the jester and yourself free.

You need to see his and your happy ending.

#sidenote: cyrus is pronounced cy-rus and mani is pronounced mah-ni not manny #also their last name is Sterle but i don't know if that would ever come up #sorry that's all i'm gonna put here as a sort of summary #there's a dramatic ending with the jester saving your life but it comes at a price of merging with inktrap #and that's when eclipse comes out to play #but despite looking as terrifying as he is now and fighting for control #he still loves you! (whoops he wasn't supposed to say that last part out loud)#The Jester and the Tagalong #bendy and the dark revival FNAF AU #this goes out to wynnibee for reminding me this was buried in my drafts!

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shima-draws · 1 month

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I’ve mentioned it before but I’m a fucking sucker for unhealthy dependent relationships. There’s just something about them that is so. Chef’s kiss 👌

Anyway I’m still thinking about how Law was so attached to Cora and was so traumatized by his death that he literally devoted thirteen YEARS of his life to revenge killing Doflamingo. Even though all Cora ever wanted was for Law to just be free and live his life happily. And Law spending all his time in a hateful revenge spiral is literally the exact OPPOSITE of what Cora wanted for him. BUT WAIT THERE’S MORE. If the thirteen years of endless devotion to avenging his savior wasn’t enough Law 1. Named his pirate crew the Heart Pirates in honor of Cora, 2. Covered himself in permanent heart-themed tattoos in honor of Cora, and 3. Fashioned his Jolly Roger to be a mockery of Doflamingo’s and ALSO to honor Cora. Homie is a walking memorial for a man he only really knew for six months and again crafted the most intricate plan known to mankind to murder Cora’s killer. Because losing Cora fucked him up THAT much. Because even though Cora set him free, the moment Doflamingo shot him Law was chained to the memory of a man who no longer existed. Law literally fashioned his entire life down to his own appearance after Cora and it makes me so insane. I cannot even imagine what went through his head after Dressrosa I mean how do you move on after a thirteen year grudge is put to rest. What is he supposed to do now. Avenging Cora was literally his entire existence, his entire reason for living for half of his life. He needs therapy probably. If Cora somehow ever did come back to life Law would lose his fucking mind. The dependency is SO unhealthy and I am SO here for it