verydonegoldfish

[verydonegoldfish]

Doctor: With the frail condition of his lungs and the amount of smoke inhalation from the explosion; he will need a lung transplant.

Chuuya (dripping swag): do u do lobotomies by any chance? asking for myself

Akutagawa (half-conscious & tucked into the hospital bed): 👁👄👁

#bungou stray dogs #bsd incorrect quotes #shin soukoku #dazai x chuuya #soukoku #incorrect quotes

[verydonegoldfish]

Atsushi: LISTEN!! Okay I know he's a bad person...

Kunikida: Oh my god here we go again.

Atsushi [looking at a pic of Aku on his phone]: but he's hot! :(

#bungou stray dogs #soukoku #bsd incorrect quotes #dazai x chuuya #shin soukoku #bsd anime #bsd headcanons

[verydonegoldfish]

Dazai: No wonder you're so angry all the time-

Kunikida: Excuse me?

Dazai: You look like Gwyneth Paltrow except... penniless.

Everyone in the office: ...

Dazai: And none of your chakras are aligned.

Dazai: *smiles*

Kunikida: Freedom of speech protects you from the government.

Dazai (with a pencil shoved up one nostril):

Kunikida: But it doesn't protect you from me.

Kunikida: Run.

#bungou stray dogs #soukoku #bsd incorrect quotes #dazai x chuuya #shin soukoku #bsd anime #bsd headcanons

[verydonegoldfish]

Atsushi (confused as always): What kind of Asian are you?

Fitzgerald: I'm actually Caucasian.

Atsushi: COCK ASIAN?

#bungou stray dogs #soukoku #bsd incorrect quotes #dazai x chuuya #shin soukoku #bsd anime #bsd headcanons

[verydonegoldfish]

Dazai: Now I know that two wrongs don't make a right-

Chuuya (sweating & panting after committing a number of crimes against the ADA): ...

Dazai: But boy do they turn me on.

#bungou stray dogs #soukoku #bsd incorrect quotes #dazai x chuuya #shin soukoku #bsd anime #bsd headcanons

[verydonegoldfish]

Chuuya, drunk and cradling a potted plant: maybe if I work extra hard-

Koyo (watching from a safe distance):

Chuuya: and put in extra hours

The plant (simply existing):

Chuuya: I will finally be appreciated for all my hard work.

#bungou stray dogs #soukoku #bsd incorrect quotes #dazai x chuuya #shin soukoku #bsd anime #bsd headcanons

[verydonegoldfish]

Atsushi: *eating 23 bowls of tea rice by himself*

Akutagawa: Scientifically? There's no logical way that I'm heterosexual.

#bungou stray dogs #soukoku #bsd incorrect quotes #dazai x chuuya #shin soukoku #bsd anime #bsd headcanons

[verydonegoldfish]

Dazai (after being stuck in quarantine for 2 weeks): I'm feeling a bit pent up.

Chuuya: Sexually or ragefully?

Dazai: What would you do if I said both?

Chuuya: Leave.

#bungou stray dogs #soukoku #bsd incorrect quotes #dazai x chuuya #shin soukoku #bsd anime #bungou stray dogs dazai #bungou stray dogs chuuya #bsd ranpoe #bsd headcanons

[verydonegoldfish]

Dazai: Hypothetically, how does one evade animal control after stealing a goose from the park?

The Goose in Dazai's arms: *quiet honk*

Kunikida: ...

#bungou stray dogs #soukoku #bsd incorrect quotes #shin soukoku #bsd anime #dazai x chuuya #bungou stray dogs kunikida #goose

[verydonegoldfish]

Dazai: hey chuuya if you're looking for a man to cherish you, spoil you...

Chuuya (unimpressed):

Dazai: then you've come to the wrong place cuz I'll beat the shit out of you.

#bungou stray dogs #soukoku #bsd incorrect quotes #shin soukoku #bsd anime #dazai x chuuya #bungou stray dogs dazai #bungou stray dogs chuuya

[verydonegoldfish]

Opposing team: You really think you're such a big deal.

Oikawa: You know what else is big? My di-

Iwaizumi (glaring): Tooru.

Oikawa: My dictionary! 824 pages. My vernacular is unequivocally astounding.

#haikyū!! #haikyuu!! #haikyuu #oikawa tooru #iwaizumi hajime #incorrect haikyuu quotes #iwaoi #they're in love <3

[verydonegoldfish]

All My Fics!

HAIKYUU

Everything’s Going Great AO3 Wattpad - Mature - Ongoing post-timeskip Kagehina / Kageyama’s a mess. A single father barely scraping by. Trying to balance work and life and child has swallowed him whole. Enter Hinata.

Split Lip Daydream AO3 - Explicit & Spicy - Oneshot timeskip IwaOi / Oikawa hadn’t realized how much he needed Iwaizumi until they’re finally reunited.

Bookcase Privacy AO3 - PG13 - Oneshot timeskip Sakuatsu / Sakusa just wants to find a book at the library. Atsumu just wants to be a problem child.

Home is What You Make of It AO3 - Explicit - Oneshot graduation Tsukiyama / Tsukishima’s falling slowly and madly in love with Tadashi and his family’s foster home.

Alone in a Minefield With You AO3 - PG - Oneshot highschool Tsukiyama / Tadashi realizes Kei is better off without him. Kei vehemently disagrees.

BUNGOU STRAY DOGS

Oh, He’s a Haunted House AO3 - Mature - Oneshot post-deadapple / Chuuya’s once again thrown himself towards death for Dazai, but would Dazai do the same?

YURI ON ICE 

The Ocean AO3 - Explicit - Ongoing post-canon / Breaking up was hard. Getting back together is even harder.

#fanfic #compilation #haikyuu!! #yuri on ice #bungou stray dogs #kagehina #kageyama #hinata shoyuo #iwaoi #oikawa tooru #iwaizumi hajime #tsukkiyama #tsukishima kei #haikyuu yamaguchi #bungou stray dogs chuuya #bungou stray dogs dazai #dazai x chuuya #yuri katsuki #victor nikirofov

[verydonegoldfish]

Zuko (depressed and traumatized): I'm so tired, but I can't fall asleep.

Sokka (trying to be helpful): Do you want me to knock you out?

Zuko:

Sokka:

Zuko: yes please.

#avatar #atla fanart #fire lord zuko #incorrect sokka #incorrect atla #zuko x sokka #avatar the last airbender

[verydonegoldfish]

Chuuya: I loved you.

Dazai: Oh really now?

Chuuya: And then you left.

Chuuya: I don't love you anymore.

#bungou stray dogs #soukoku #bsd incorrect quotes #shin soukoku #bsd anime #dazai x chuuya

[verydonegoldfish]

Poe (coming out from the other room holding a bag of extreme sour Skittles and a can of tomato juice): Why were these in the shower?

Ranpo (not looking up from his case file): It was my shower snack. You know I get hungry.

Poe: But... why would you eat them together?

Ranpo: To assert dominance.

#bungou stray dogs #soukoku #bsd incorrect quotes #shin soukoku #bsd anime #dazai x chuuya #bsd ranpoe #ranpo x poe #ranpo headcanons #poe bsd

[verydonegoldfish]

Dazai: I'm tired of trying to off myself.

Chuuya: Then stop trying, dumbfuck.

Dazai (clearly offended): No. Why would I do that?

#bungou stray dogs #soukoku #bsd incorrect quotes #shin soukoku #bsd anime #dazai x chuuya

[verydonegoldfish]

Bakugo: We're dating. Stop calling me "bro".

Kirishima: Sounds good bro-

Bakugo (intense staring):

Kirishima: Sounds good babe <3

#boku no hero academia #my hero academia #my hero headcanons #kiribaku #kirishima hcs #bakushima #bakugo katuski #bakugou fluff #kirishima fluff #incorrect my hero academia quotes