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Tony: I can’t believe this wild ride’s over. We’ve changed so much. You know, when we started out, we were just: Banner the jock, Clint the rebel, Captain Silly Pants, Talky Talky Natasha, Thor the Stoner, and Tony the ringleader.
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Sam: I will never trust Bucky Barnes. He’s a venomous snake, waiting to strike. And you know what we do to snakes?
Natasha: Chop their heads off, remove the skin, turn ‘em into boots.
Sam: Don’t be absurd. Who would want troll skin boots?
Natasha: You just said he was a snake.
Sam: The Devil comes in many forms.
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Peter: [texting Mr. Stark at 5am]
Peter: The easter bunny is Jesus Christ's fursona
Tony: it's too early for this
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Karen: Well, has Matt been wrong before?
Foggy: How wide are we willing to open this up?
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Strange: What's wrong with you?
Tony: Off the top of my head, I'd say low self-esteem, a lack of paternal affection, and a genetic predisposition for anxiety and depression.
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Bucky: Who the fuck--
Steve: Language!
Bucky: Whom the fuck--
Steve: No.
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Peter: Seriously, I have no idea what to do.
Peter: Oh, wait! Yahoo! Answers.
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Steve: Fuck capitalism. It's a rigged system that keeps us poor and it isn't fair. You shouldn't need to work three jobs to afford basic necessities.
Steve, playing Monopoly: Sorry, if you wanted to win you should have tried not being poor.
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Steve: I personally don't think it's possible to come up with a crazier plan.
Scott: We could attack Thanos with hummus.
Steve: I stand corrected.
Scott: Just keeping things in perspective.
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Sam: That sounds like a terrible plan.
Steve: Oh, we've had worse.
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Tony: You look like a corpse that was just pulled out of the river.
Peter: Wrong. I look like a cool rock star who just OD'd in his own pool. Big difference.
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Fury: Stark, can I speak to you for a minute? In private.
Tony: Ooh, someone's in trouble. It's me. I don't know why I did that.
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Clint: Bonjour, Nat. Voulez–vous coucher avec moi?
Natasha: No, I don't want to sleep with you.
Clint: Is that what that means? Oh, man, I had a really gross tennis instructor.
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Howard: Gonna tell my son I love him for April Fool's!
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Steve: [Magic Mike dance moves]
Sam: The pelvic on the ground drag, a very sexy crawl by a man with a very Dorito-shaped muscular body.
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Hulk: I'M JUST GONNA SIT MY BIG GAY BODY UP ON THIS COUCH
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Scott, a tourist: where's the toilet?
Peter, a New Yorker: take a left up over at 6th and catch the bus between 12th and 32nd. there you'll see a hot dog cart at the corner of 53rd...you gotta go on straight past to 47th. between 8th and 34th there's a little place, ask for Mikey, tell him I sent you an he'll let you in aight
Scott: thanks. I'll just piss in the street
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