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hastyprovocateur · 3 months

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I have seen many calling Akemi an annoying brat for running away from her father's guardianship. And I laud their critical thinking abilities on this because really, why would a girl whose father is forcing her to marry a stranger openly known for being a sadist and killing his first wife over an unhappy marriage want to do anything but jump gleefully into the union, right? Especially when all Akemi's father has to say for her life-or-death situation is "Hey learn these sex positions and keep him happy like your dead mother kept me happy lol."

Akemi loved Taigen for a set of reasons. First and foremost, he was the path she chose and finally got her father to agree with in part for his honorable stature, aware that Taigen, though imperfect, isn't as cruel or selfish as men in said period typically were. You have to understand that women were rarely afforded the choice to love without having underlying motivations. They have to choose the lesser of evils. Which in this case, is Taigen. Akemi has far greater chances of survival with him than any other man she knew. Marriage wasn't a tic-tac-toe game for her, she was ensuring her survival. To ensure she wouldn't get violated or killed or tortured or forcefully impregnated for not falling into the narrow set of rules aristocratic women especially had to follow.

Come to Taigen and Mizu's duel following which he loses his honour and possibly his engagement. Akemi stayed undeterred because regardless of what Taigen felt about his honour, Akemi didn't have a backup option that she knew would ensure her security as much as being with Taigen would. She tells him that his chonmage being cut is no obstacle as he can style it to suit other noble men, that she will convince her father to maintain their engagement and that his honour was intact as Mizu hadn't officially challenged him. Her sexual advances are a calculated move, she narrates to him a version of events where he defeats Mizu to massage his bruised ego. And while Taigen is her singular route out of her imminent marriage to a stranger, Taigen, ignorant of the same, claims he'd rather commit seppuku and sets out to trail Mizu.

With Taigen gone, she is in deep water, and naturally, her father quickly sets her up with a fresh suitor from a family he chose for the sake of furtherance of his political expansion over any concern for his daughter's life. When she tries to escape, Seki sees it as another funny haha situation, making it a teachable moment where he profoundly tells Akemi, already fearful of her bodily autonomy and life: that a woman has 2 paths "to be an improper whore or a proper wife." To which Akemi very wisely responds that they are one and the same thing, only one is shrouded with aristocratic niceties and huge houses that women are an extension of. Regardless of her (father's) wealth, status, and relative comfort in life, no woman deserves to be put in a position of ownership under a man, vulnerable to assault, coercion, intimidation just because "at least she'll be assaulted on a nice bed."

Akemi wasn't enjoying her round trip searching for Taigen, selling herself out to flesh traders and getting betrayed by Seki, her confidante, for funsies. Seki had seen her plight and only given her the singular choice to be a proper wife to a stranger after Taigen had already left her to her own fate. She was still determined to do right by him because she wanted to live. Her seeking out Mizu was key to saving her marriage. Thereby trying to drug and bring Mizu to Taigen so she could restore his honor and go back on their engagement and live somewhat peacefully. Which we now know wasn't going to ever be because Daichi Tokunobu had already schemed to compromise the Shogunate by wagering his daughter as an alliance.

I am convinced that most people can't understand complex female characters outside of "ruthless. fighter" or "perfect victim." Akemi's fault, it seems, that through her process of running from a dangerous marriage, a callous father, getting brokered by Goro, joining Kaji's brothel, seducing her first client, trying to subdue Mizu is that she didn't get brutally violated in any of scenarios. Because I'm sure if she had, not half of y'all would be crying about her being annoying and bratty or "having it too easy." As for her trying to attack Mizu, what else was she supposed to do? Be told that this stranger robbed her fiance's honor, ruined their engagement, and killed him, and what? Pat him on the back? Or was she supposed to have a prophetic vision that Mizu is going to save them from Hamata's men?

And no she did not resort to name calling, abusing, threatening after she was tied down, she was far more benign in assessing Mizu's disposition as opposed to Mikio or Taigen who straight up called Mizu monster, dog, beggar, scavenger and what not. Mikio sold Mizu's favourite horse to get back at her, abandoned her for the bounty hunters to get her, killed her mama. Taigen was a bully who accused her of digging through his trash and near damn killed her with a rock with his friends. Yeah, him being a kid makes no difference to the one who was traumatised because that'll last Mizu a lifetime. In both cases Mizu posed no threat to them as opposed to Akemi who truly believed that Mizu had killed her fiancé.

Taigen continued to be a bully in the present time (growth in latter eps aside), calling Mizu a dog, monster boy, whore mother, scavenger of Kohama's gutters, reminding her of her house burning down. He stalked her, threatened her to duel, gave her consistent trauma reminders. Oh btw- Akemi called Mizu "nothing special" and "angry" and yall decide she has mentally abused this woman after knowing her for a good 3 hours. Yall fr just hate women.

She didn't know about Kinuyo either, or anything about Mizu's past. Despite only knowing her in the worst way, she largely softens towards Mizu knowing she's helping save Kaji's workers. She could've easily stayed tight and comfy in the cellar. She doesn't know a thing about fighting yet stands by Ringo and later saves him. Not for her sake because she says "Now they have to get through the both of us." She didn't fear death either, only being helpless. "I'm not brave" she said "I've been a captive my whole life. If I die today, I die free."

She didn't stop there "Mizu can't possibly hold them all off" and then goes up to save Mizu when the assassins attested that "The samurai has been cornered." And yes Mizu was unconscious from being choked until Akemi intervened. She just had to stay low like the others and not give a FUCK, especially not Mizu, someone who shittalked her as far as she knew, but she did because she saw the honour in Mizu's actions.

Unfortunately, Akemi didn't magically mind read Mizu's ptsd and all the flashbacks she's been getting about her past betrayals, what happened with Kinuyo and made the mistake of trusting Mizu, WHO SHE THINKS IS A MAN, to fight for her when the guards come. All but 3 men. This isn't about numbers because Mizu totaled an army and has the plot armour of Jesus, it's not about being innocent, because Mizu killed that clawed dude she spared initially, not to mention Kinuyo who was just a means to get to Fowker. And some people talked about Mizu not wanting Daichi's men coming after her... um... are you sure you're watching the same show because as far as I know Mizu doesn't give a flying FUCK about being careful or who comes after her because she's recklessly creating collateral all down her path of revenge. That's the wholeass point.

Akemi wasn't ordering Mizu around, cuz she asked "I'm not going anywhere, right Mizu?" She wanted her approval, her support in that moment. To fight for her because she doesn't have the agency to fight for herself. What did Mizu do in this crucial moment? She doomed Akemi to an arranged marriage and made her choice FOR her. Especially being someone who's always been shown to do exactly what she wants and then fight whatever consequences come her way.

Mizu "thought" Akemi's better off with being married to a stranger because "atleast the abuser is rich, not everyone gets a rich abuser." And yes she assumed hella things because Akemi's reasons for chasing Taigen are literally so she can live by an iota of her choice and not because she's "begging to eat trash." And Mizu didn't consider the reputation of the Shogun's son, regardless of if he's a horrible person, how is being forced to marry a stranger justified?? Another day, another man Akemi trusted, dooming her to a path with no cognizance of how much apprehension of death or joyless life she actually faces in that position.

Mizu was no different from Daichi, Seki, Taigen in that moment. Akemi had no one. Despite doing all in her power to turn her fate, she was unsuccessful because she wasn't able to physically fight for herself and no one chose to step up for her. She was about to solve her own problems by throwing herself off the balcony, evident in how much she didn't desire the marriage. Takayoshi not being an outright brute chauvinistic killer is no justification for "hey didn't turn out to be so bad, huh." Would you rather she have gotten brutalised? Been treated like absolute shit? Would you then believe how scary the marriage could have been for her? Kaji herself told Mizu that "if you killed every man I've seen who couldn't come till someone bled... you'd wear your blade to a stump."

Ringo was justified in criticising Mizu. While Mizu doesn't care about anyone in her path of revenge, Eiji, her own father figure struggles to teach her that she NEEDS people to fight. To strengthen her blade and resolve. Mizu did return to save Akemi as her conscience would have it, Seki also came around and Taigen was finally ready to pursue a life with her over his honor and greatness but it was too late. I don't blame Akemi for asserting twice to Mizu that "We're not friends which Mizu showed too in her actions prior. I don't see it as Akemi being ungrateful but asserting the truth before Mizu slams it in her face. Mizu doesn't want friends so she doesn't get any.

I also don't blame her for rejecting Taigen, I too wouldn't ever wish to be blindsided like that again. It's better to choose your own reality than rely on love or friendship only to get betrayed. As for Akemi's new venture, I laud her for taking Kaji's word and to fight with the agencies she has even though I feel that Kaji shared Mizu's tone deafness in terms of seeing Akemi's (father's and now husband's) wealth as a neutralizer to the abuse she could face which could've been much worse than it was shown to be.

I do agree that having free choice, even after Seki tells her to pursue her own path, is a tad too idealistic for the place and time. She basically just complied to the choices Seki, Taigen, Mizu's made for her. So I loved seeing Akemi make the best of the cards she was dealt, choosing to use her body and mind to seduce, manipulate and progress. To make her choices whether she is loved in the process or not. . To exploit her meek husband's position, to subdue her scheming (now hopefully crispy) father and be great.

#don't speak on my girl unless it's praise #bes akemi #akemi blue eye samurai #mizemi #mizu blue eye samurai #mizu x akemi #blue eye samurai #blue eye samurai mizu #taigen blue eye samurai #hasty loves bes

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doorhine · 6 months

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I think the show does a really good job at validating and empathizing with Akemi’s concerns as a woman living under a patriarchy while also acknowledging her privileges, not just as a wealthy person, but as a literal princess. There’s a lot to be said about Akemi’s dynamic with Madame Kaji and the other sex workers but right now I’m focusing on her and Mizu as two main characters whose experiences as women contrast each other the most. I specifically want to talk about the end of episode 5 because it’s a culmination of so many things.

*SPOILERS BELOW

Mizu obviously isn’t there to personally see the misogyny Akemi experiences so from her perspective, she has no real reason to empathize with her running away. Mizu also just has her own priorities with her revenge quest. But even with the lack of context or understanding of Akemi’s situation, Mizu and the other sex workers' judgment of Akemi isn’t unfounded because she has real privilege over them. As a princess, she has an unfathomable amount of wealth that lets her live a life of comfort and luxury so far removed from other people’s experiences to the point where, Akemi herself states that being rich like that makes you forget that you’re rich. And while Akemi is clearly shown to utilize the skills sets she does have to her advantage when she runs away, it’s not an insult to her intelligence to acknowledge that getting as far as Madame Kaji’s establishment was also the result of luck because there’s so many ways that things could’ve gone wrong on the way there.

So for Mizu to encounter Akemi

A princess who ran away from all that luxury for the sake of a failed marriage with a guy who bullied/hate crimed Mizu as a child and wants to duel and kill her for his honor/social status in the present (when social climbing was never truly possible for Mizu even when disguised as a man and because we know how her marriage ended)

A princess who tried to kill her and says she only regrets not doing it immediately

A princess who calls her a monster just like everyone else

A princess who has no idea Mizu’s even a woman or all the experiences that got her to this point, including the assassination of Kinuyo (who didn’t want to die) at Madam Kaji’s request because women have to be practical and think of the results (not how they get there) when it comes to revenge

A princess who may have fought to help defend Madame Kaji and her girls but then expected a mentally, emotionally and physically exhausted Mizu (suffering from multiple puncture wounds after doing the majority of the killing/defending) to fight Akemi’s own guards like a personal attack dog when doing so would’ve more than likely killed her and Ringo while Akemi still lived and got taken back home…. *takes a deep breath*

It’s totally understandable why Mizu just lets them take Akemi.

On Akemi’s part, she doesn’t know the context around why Mizu is the way that she is but at the end of the episode assumes that she’s not capable of love when they’ve only known each other for… not even a day and half technically speaking. Meanwhile Mizu’s assessment of Akemi’s privilege is still accurate in certain ways despite her lack of context that makes Akemi empathetic to us as the audience. Also, not that Mizu sees this happen, Akemi is able to maneuver her way around the shogun’s court and her new husband while also uplifting and hiring Madame Kaji and her girls to both their benefit. A path she chooses to continue taking at the end of the season. It’s still within the confines of the patriarchy and not without its challenges, but Akemi is taking advantage of the privileges she does have when she previously took them for granted.

Both Mizu and Akemi are just so nuanced and well written and this scene is a perfect example of how and why they clash due to such drastically different lives shaped by their social status. I’m curious to see how their journeys will go from here and what circumstances reunite them (for better or worse) given where they left off with each other during the season finale.

#blue eye samurai #blue eye samurai spoilers

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brucebocchi · 4 months

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Ranking every new anime I watched in 2023, Pt. 4: #5-1

hey, i just started a ko-fi for my writing and possible other creative outlets. this post will also be available there, so please check it out and consider tipping/donating as i'm currently between jobs. the tumblr version of part 1 can be found here, part 2 here, and part 3 here.

The list is complete! This took a lot of work but I'm over the moon to get this out there. Please consider leaving a tip if you've enjoyed reading.

Here goes, my top five anime of 2023:

5. Zom 100: Bucket List of the Dead

Zom 100’s debut hit like a freight train, especially coming from a brand new studio. It had everything: Visceral satire of Japanese work culture, incredible animation, vibrant colors in unexpected places, clever cinematography, wish fulfillment for everyone who’s ever wanted to Stone Cold their boss, and most importantly: Zombie titties.

The premise is magnetic: When your job makes you feel like a zombie, an actual zombie apocalypse means certain freedom from the grind. Akira Tendo realizes that he can finally use the vacation time he amassed while being exploited and overworked at a legally dodgy black company, so he writes a bucket list of everything he’s ever wanted to do, with all intention of checking off every single line item before succumbing to a zombie bite. He manages to rescue his hunky fuckboy bestie from college, and they embark on a road trip across Japan to finish out the list, along with a beautiful, risk-averse tsundere and a big-tiddy German weeb.

It's a perfectly fine elevator pitch, and a welcome break from the guns-and-grit quagmire the zombie genre has been stuck in for the past two decades, but what makes any good zombie-flecked media resonate is the human element, which Zom 100 delivers expertly. You’re quickly given reason to care for all the characters, their motivations are clear and relatable, and you want to see them survive and live out their dreams. But more importantly, you just want to hang out with them through their hijinks. It even delves into more serious matters, like what we owe our parents as adults, the ways isolation and bitterness can drive people to act out in their worst moments, and even the factors that push abuse victims to stay with and even return to their abusers.

Above all, though, it’s a powerful (if extreme) story of finding joy in the direst circumstances. Akira, Kencho, and Shizuka are all kindhearted, well-meaning people whose situations kept them from what they truly wanted to do with their lives, and there’s something kinda beautiful to be found in them finding a new opportunity during the possible end of the world (Beatrix is a sweetie too, but aside from the whole zombie thing, she’s already exactly where she wants to be). The final arc of the season, in particular, looks you dead in the eye and asks you: If you were suddenly faced with the ultimate freedom, would you use the opportunity to better yourself, improve the lives of others, or do whatever the fuck you want at everyone else’s expense? You may not like the answer at first if you’re honest with yourself, and that’s okay. The world isn’t over, and there’s still time for you to be your best self.

Zom 100, unfortunately, fell prey to a cruel irony in the form of production issues. Bug Films is a new studio made up of a former team from OLM that was responsible for similarly gorgeous projects such as Komi Can’t Communicate and Summer Time Rendering. They clearly saw so much of themselves in Akira's workplace exploitation that they had to swing for the fences here. The firm he works for is named “ZLM” in this adaptation, for fuck’s sake, and he fully destroys his zombie boss in the first episode. But new studio or old, the anime industry is a grind, and Bug had trouble keeping up; animation quality did take a bit of a dip after the stunning first episode, and episodes were frequently delayed as the summer broadcast season wore on and ended without the entire seasonal run making airwaves. Hell, it was impossible to watch the final three episodes until just a few days before I could write this sentence.

For what Bug were able to pull off, though, Zom 100 is outstanding. The paintball-colored blood splatters everywhere are an instantly-iconic look that strike the balance between horror and spectacle. Everything and everyone looks gorgeously faithful to Kotaro Takata’s art, and delivers an appropriately cinematic look that the manga always deserved. I almost don’t know what else to tell you but that this show is a fucking blast.

There’s also a zombie shark. What more could you want?

4. Oshi no Ko

I spent a good chunk of 2023 just assuming Oshi no Ko was going to be a layup for anime of the year. Shortly after moving on from Kaguya-sama, I rushed to binge Aka Akasaka's subsequent manga in time for the anime's feature-length debut. I was taken in by OnK's bonkers premise and sudden dark turn and quickly fell in love with the characters, and my anticipation only grew. I had high expectations for the screen adaptation, but nothing could have prepared me for just how lovingly it all came together. This is as close to a perfect adaptation as you can find, and the same can be said about both the preceding and following entries on this list.

Oshi no Ko is an audiovisual feast. Doga Kobo cleaned up Mengo Yokoyari’s character designs just a smidge, but put just the right flourishes on them to make every single cast member instantly iconic. One look at Kana Arima’s eyes will tell you everything you need to know about the level of care put into the visual design of this anime. The performances are on point as well; though many of the main cast members are relative newcomers to the world of seiyuu, you can tell they truly came to understand the characters before they even recorded one line. I’ve already gushed about Rie Takahashi in earlier entries, but her turn as Ai Hoshino is easily one of the best voice performances all year. Takahashi makes a meal out of every single second Ai spends on screen and gives you every reason to care about her as a character.

Showbiz manga in general is obviously missing an audio element, and when an adaptation can expand on that aspect well, it can help turn even middling source material into something transcendent (see also: Rock!, Bocchi the). Music is central to Oshi no Ko, and the OP/ED combination is already iconic; YOASOBI’s “Idol” has had the best worldwide chart performance of any Japanese song ever, and the prolonged intro to Queen Bee’s “Mephisto” became a meme in Japan in the same vein as JJBA’s iconic use of “Roundabout.” Rather than taking manga characters’ word for it that someone is a terrible actor, we actually get to cringe along to an amateur actor’s hammy emoting. We get to see and hear what turned a fictional idol group into a national phenomenon rather than just see cute girls posing on the page. All of this is to say that while Oshi no Ko is an excellent manga, it needed a screen adaptation, and especially one of this quality.

Oshi no Ko deserves every shred of its success. I've never seen an anime make a splash this enormous with just its debut episode, even if it’s kind of cheating to say so because the first episode is almost literally a movie, and if I were to give an award for the best single episode of anime this year, it would be that one, hands down. Adapting the entire first volume into a feature-length debut was the correct move (mostly because it’s a tonal rollercoaster, and the Big Event that defines the entire story wouldn’t have happened until the fourth episode otherwise), and the investment paid dividends. The hype naturally died down a bit as the season wore on and settled into a more consistent tone and rhythm, but it remains an essential anime to 2023.

You may have noticed that I have said very little of what this show is actually about, and that’s by design: If you still don’t know the plot of Oshi no Ko’s first episode by now, I refuse to tell you: you need to go in blind. All I will say is that it is an idol anime that glorifies nothing. If you've read this far and still trust what I have to say about anime, I beg you to just take my word for it. It's an incredibly rewarding experience.

3. Scott Pilgrim Takes Off

There's just something so wonderful about taking in an adaptation of a work you’re already familiar with and knowing, almost instantaneously, that every single person working on it genuinely loved the source material and relished the opportunity to bring it to life. Nearly every single member of the original cast is in the dub (including the ones who went on to be MCU mainstays), Edgar Wright is back on as executive producer, Anamanaguchi reprise their soundtracking duties from the video game, and even Bryan Lee O’Malley himself helped co-write everything.

That last detail is probably the most important thing about this entire production: It’s not exactly a secret that the original Scott Pilgrim comics are very imperfect portrayals of a very imperfect young man. I knew reading them at the time that the comic did not have a great grasp on relationships and the dynamics between men and women, and that was at a time in my life when I myself was pretty terrible with and to women. O'Malley has said that he would only revisit Scott Pilgrim if it was “the right thing” and that he was leery of a straight retelling of a work he has since outgrown.

So instead, we have the Rebuild of Scott Pilgrim, to put it simply. Takes Off is a completely new story that reexamines the Scott Pilgrim comics, movie, and even game without undermining what came before it. This series is not a repudiation of Scott Pilgrim (the character or the franchise)’s flaws, nor is it purely fanservice; it splits the difference perfectly. It’s both more mature and completely self-indulgent. This show so easily could’ve marched to the familiar discourse drumbeat of “Scott isn’t the hero here” or “he’s actually not a good dude,” but it instead focuses on what should always be the second half of that sentence: “But Ramona still sees something in him.”

Yes, Ramona Flowers is effectively the protagonist of a new work that doesn’t even have her name on it, and it tackles some surprisingly necessary questions: What was her responsibility in creating seven evil exes in the first place? What made them evil? Are they even that evil? This series opens up entire worlds of possibilities within the extended cast and gleefully dives into them. Though Takes Off may not flesh out every single character, it does take its time with several of the ones who really did need a little more meat on their narrative bones, and even gives some characters new roles just because it would be fun to see them in new situations.

I still cannot believe they got Science Saru to make this show. “They made a Scott Pilgrim anime” and “They brought back the movie cast” are already good enough fodder for that Vince McMahon meme, but “It’s produced by the motherfuckers who made Devilman Crybaby” had me falling out of my chair. The animation maintains O'Malley's chunky, cartoony character designs and works wonders with line weights and simulated camera effects to give everything a tactile, weighty feel, like it’s somehow (and very appropriately) splitting the difference between a comic, a film, and even a video game. There’s a wide array of visual effects that helps to place all of Scott Pilgrim’s influences further on its sleeve: Dynamic action scenes, camera depth and chromatic aberration, and our beloved pixel art inserts. It looks like every Scott Pilgrim, everywhere, all at once.

The live action film’s cast did a (mostly) great job reprising their roles for animation, and there are some wildly unexpected cameos in there. Voice acting is not quite the same as stage or film acting, but everyone pulls their weight, and dialogue feels far more naturalistic than your average anime dub. Mary Elizabeth Winstead, Ellen Wong and, surprisingly, Chris Evans are outstanding in their respective roles. I’m gonna have to watch this again in Japanese, though. Fairouz Ai as Ramona, Aoi Koga as Knives, and Yuichi Nakamura as Lucas Lee? Sign me the fuck up.

This is not an apology or revision of Scott Pilgrim the character or work, it is a celebration that still acknowledges and improves on the flaws. If you’re a Scott Pilgrim fan who’d been clamoring for a proper cartoon adaptation, Takes Off may not exactly be what you’ve wanted, but it may be what you needed. Chances are pretty good that you’ve grown since the first time since you read, watched, or even played something with Scott Pilgrim’s name on it, and it’s a blessing to say that while the character may not have grown, Scott Pilgrim the franchise finally has.

2. Jujutsu Kaisen, season 2

I’m so glad I picked up JJK this year, if only because I would’ve otherwise been caught in a mudslide of memes I didn’t understand.

Season 2 follows in lockstep with the manga from where season 1 left off, beginning in extended flashback with the Hidden Inventory/Premature Death arc, covering Satoru Gojo and Suguru Geto’s high school life and the events that would eventually create the rift between them that came to shape Jujutsu Kaisen’s story. We see very different versions of Gojo and Geto here, much younger and more naive, but only marginally less powerful as they’re sent on an escort mission with the future of the jujutsu world in the balance. Because this is Jujutsu Kaisen, and because Jujutsu Kaisen is for masochists, nothing happens as planned.

We unfortunately do not get the precious slice-of-life hijinks the OP suggests, but if you watched season 1, you should know better by now than to trust an OP. While the initial arc does have its quieter and goofier moments (and some delicious homoerotic subtext), it wastes little time in declaring that this is a new version of the Jujutsu Kaisen anime: Lines are thinner, character models are looser, and action is buckwild. Two of the best fakeouts in the series happen in the span of five minutes. Those unfamiliar with the source material may have wondered for a bit why there needed to be a five-episode prequel arc to start the season, but the pieces would soon fall into place.

And then came Shibuya.

The Shibuya Incident arc was what made Jujutsu Kaisen a must-read in every new issue of Shonen Jump. It reset the status quo for the story and shaped it into something far beyond another “teenagers with special powers go to a school for teenagers with special powers” battle shonen. Needless to say, the hype for its anime adaptation was astronomical.

The Shibuya arc sets the stakes early: Nobody is safe and there may be no happy ending. Triumph is short-lived, and every threat is existential. Everyone who has been in the series up to this point plays a role, and you’re not going to like a lot of what’s needed of them. This arc punches you in the gut, repeatedly, and in between each blow is some of the most intense and innovative action you’ve ever seen. It will hurt, and you will beg for more.

I liked this arc a good amount in the manga, but by the end I was ready for it to be over. I didn’t get the hype around Toji, thought the deaths were cheap, and was so. FUCKING. sick of Mahito. Seeing it in fluid motion onscreen, though, everything just clicked for me and I couldn’t get enough. I fully get now why the girlies have been wetting themselves over Toji; the character modelers were HORNY horny this season. I see now how even the most unceremonious deaths fit into the narrative, or at least one will make perfect sense to me once Gege Akutami and I have a little chat :). And holy hell do I understand now that Mahito is one of the best shonen villains in the history of the medium, that sick bastard. Season 2 was my Rosetta stone for Jujutsu Kaisen; I see it all now. My sixth eye has been opened. Throughout heaven and earth, I alone am the literate one.

JJK’s second season has a markedly different feel from the first from a presentation standpoint, and I feel it’s for the better. Every aspect of the presentation is on point, and I want to call attention to the audio element: The production music, with a heavy focus on jazz piano, is wonderfully unique for the genre, and the voice acting remains top notch. These are banner performances from the likes of Yuichi Nakamura, Kenjiro Tsuda, Takahiro Sakurai, Asami Seto, and Nobunaga Shimazaki, but the performance that defines the Shibuya arc (and by extension the entire season) is Junya Enoki as Yuji Itadori.

Enoki’s been great this year in lead roles in goofy works like KamiKatsu and Girlfriend Girlfriend (not to mention minor roles in Skip and Loafer and the vending machine isekai), so it’s no surprise that he continues to crush it as JJK’s protagonist; Yuji Itadori is a goofy dude. But the Shibuya arc, for as much ground and as many characters as it covers, is ultimately Yuji’s story as he is forced, time and again, to endure the cycle of the “suffering builds character” meme. His peers and mentors in the first season told him repeatedly that the life of a jujutsu sorcerer is a short and unhappy one, and he now has to shoulder that burden for everyone. Enoki nails every single part of a wide spectrum of emotions Yuji is forced to endure over the course of the Shibuya arc, be it determination, naive confusion, or just pure unbridled trauma. If this isn’t the best voice performance of the year, it’s top five at worst.

Like every major battle shonen release in the age of social media, this season has had its detractors. Reviewers at Anime News Network kinda hated the story, but that’s something you take up with Gege Akutami (and get in line behind the manga readers). I've seen people complain about the animation. Which, like. If you don’t like the new visual style, sure, fine, that’s up to personal taste. But if you think this season isn’t well-animated, you just plain don’t know ball. It may not have a cohesive look, but that was the draw for me: Season 1 was good, but at times I felt like it looked a little too rigid, a little too shiny, a little too samey. Season 2, especially the Shibuya arc, looks like everything. Sometimes it looks like an action film, sometimes it looks like Mob Psycho 100, and at points it looks, most crucially, like Akutami’s most iconic panels brought to life, stroke for stroke.

The varying styles weren’t an accident: Nearly each episode had its own director, and those resumes cover top-tier animations like Mob Psycho, Devilman Crybaby, Kill la Kill, Heavenly Delusion, Oshi no Ko, FLCL, even Akira and goddamn Golden Boy. While the episodes don’t look entirely consistent from one to the next, the variance is less jarring and more “holy fuck, what am I going to see next?”. The looser style of animation is what Jujutsu Kaisen always needed; Akutami’s art is very loose and dynamic, and his action panels are borderline inscrutable at times. Season 2 nails the feel of JJK to a degree that its adaptation always needed and lets its directors, storyboarders, and animators run wild. At times, characters will look like they leapt right off the page; others, they will look like something you have never seen before in your life.

It is unfortunately impossible to talk about this season without also bringing up MAPPA’s working conditions, and how animators were frequently overworked against nigh-impossible deadlines. It was an open secret last year as Chainsaw Man aired that MAPPA’s animation schedule was a meat grinder, but that came bubbling to the surface quickly as JJK’s second season aired. Word got out midseason that MAPPA had its animators sign NDAs about their work conditions, but complaints still broke containment and several staffers took to social media to apologize for their work looking incomplete, and some even publicly announced that they are leaving the studio. It is stunning that the finished product looks the way it does under such conditions, and I respect the animators for putting in such incredible work, but something has to give. Several major series suffered from major delays this year, some of which I gave significant praise, but MAPPA is lucky that all of JJK came out on time. I wish I knew what could push them to treat their workers with the dignity and respect (and pay) they deserve, but that’s a conversation that covers much wider ground than just anime.

MAPPA has already announced that the series will continue through the next major arc. While there is quite a bit of it that I would love to see on screen, I can only hope that the animators get to rest. For now, though, we can be proud of what they made under duress, even if some will forever wonder what it would look like if the staff were treated like something a notch above cattle.

1. Frieren: Beyond Journey's End

Fucking hell. This is why I watch anime.

I was curious about this one because a couple major anitubers I watch had reviewed the manga and were effusive in their praise. I knew the anime adaptation was on the way, so I decided to hold off on reading and see what the anime would be like, and with Keiichiro Saito (director of Bocchi the Rock! and key animator for Oshi no Ko’s instantly-iconic OP) at the helm, my excitement was piqued. That guy turned a B-minus 4-koma into an innovative hit comedy, so what can he do with a beloved source material and the backing of a legacy studio like Madhouse?

I've had so much to say about Frieren since the premiere, and I still have so much to say now, but to talk about what I love about this show is to talk about everything about this show. When the first four episodes dropped, I described it as “Mushoku Tensei without the baggage,” and I stand by that. There were multiple points throughout Frieren’s first cour where I'd nearly forgotten that I wasn't watching Mushoku Tensei. Every single element is on point: The animation is fluid and expressive, backdrops are consistently gorgeous, voice performances are quickly memorable, and the music is evocative and instantly iconic. This is, plainly, one of the most beautiful pieces of television I have ever seen on nearly every level, be it visually, sonically, or thematically.

The initial four-episode debut was a masterclass in establishing the setting, building emotional investment into the characters, and slowly but deliberately laying out the premise of the season to come. The titular Frieren is an elf mage who, for a very brief decade of her millennium-long life, lent her skills to an adventuring party to slay the Demon King. Though she helped save the world, she was never one for stuff like adulation or socializing, so she breaks away from the group to continue her hobby of collecting various spells and arcana. She regroups with them after 50 years, having kept in contact with none of them, only to find them older and frailer. The party’s leader, the hero Himmel, passes away shortly thereafter, and Frieren breaks down at his funeral, having realized exactly too late how important he was to her and that she’d never really bothered to get to know him as a person.

Some time later, she’s called by the surviving human member of the party, Heiter, under the guise of translating an old text, but soon realizes that he duped her into helping train the young orphan girl he adopted, Fern, as a mage. Upon Heiter’s death, Frieren and Fern head out together, carrying out odd jobs and retracing Frieren’s steps from the journey that changed her more than she realized. They soon learn from the other surviving member of the party, Eisen, that (ooh) heaven is, in fact, a place on earth, and that Frieren may be able to properly pay Himmel his final respects in person. In order to do so, they must make a trip to the north, past the Demon King’s castle. The story of Beyond Journey’s End is, quite literally, a nostalgia trip.

Frieren's story is one of grief and regret, but also how we can use those emotions as a way of moving forward rather than looking backward. Her history is a long one and her memories seemingly everlasting, but she uses them to pave the road ahead of her rather than let them shackle her to the past. This is best exemplified by Fern herself, as well as the other companion they pick up the way in Eisen’s former trainee, Stark. Frieren can carry on the legacies of Heiter and Eisen by helping their young wards grow into the capable young adults they’re meant to be, while Himmel’s legacy lives on in the memories of the towns and villages he helped save along Frieren’s new path, and most importantly, in Frieren herself.

The degree to which Himmel truly mattered to Frieren becomes more apparent to her as the story goes on, and it becomes more evident in her actions. Himmel was a gentle, selfless (if self-aggrandizing) man who was every last bit the hero the modern world believes him to be. With every statue of him she cleans, every flower she plants in his name, every core memory that returns to her, we are watching Frieren become more and more like him in real time. You would expect a thousand-year-old woman to be pretty set in her ways, but we see her holding off on old, bad behaviors because of how Himmel would react to them back then. As Fern and Stark grow into young adults, we see her beginning to treat them the same way Himmel treated her. Frieren doesn’t realize it until later in the season, but it’s apparent to us early on that Himmel well and truly loved her, and I feel that it’s dawning on her that she loved him too and didn’t recognize it. That is tragic in and of itself (this show absolutely is a tearjerker at times and I will cop to getting misty-eyed as I write this), but there is something beautiful, well beyond my grasp, in being able to honor the memory and carry out the legacy of a loved one in how you treat those around you. I don’t think anything could have made Himmel prouder.

Frieren herself is a really goddamn good character too (and expertly voiced by Atsumi Tanezaki, best known for voicing Anya Forger in Spy x Family). Though she is portrayed as quiet and uncaring for the early part of the story, it’s been really delightful to watch her open up, and above all, inadvertently reveal that she’s actually just Really Fucking Weird. For as self-assured and put together as she always seems on the surface, it was great to learn that she’s just an enormous slob (she just like me fr), and any outward expressions of smugness or her offbeat sense of humor are always a joy. “Deeply weird person trying to act normal” is always fun, and there’s just something so consistently delightful about seeing someone so typically calm and intelligent get caught in a mimic chest every single time.

I still can’t get over how fucking good this show looks. Beyond Journey’s End features some of the most intricate, loving animation I’ve seen for stuff as simple as someone putting on a jacket. Action scenes are few and far between, but not a single frame is wasted when shit pops off. Not everyone is as detailed as possible at all times, and they don’t need to be, but everyone looks incredible when they need to be. It’s well above my pay grade to accurately say so, but this show could be a lesson in proper animation budgeting. I could go on and on and on, but I’ve written nearly eighteen thousand words about anime, so I’ll wrap it up.

The debut season of Frieren will continue into 2024, and if the quality remains a constant, it could very well be one of the best anime of next year too. It has remained as MyAnimeList’s top-rated anime ever for its entire run, warding off the legion of Fullmetal Alchemist Brotherhood fans. Frieren deserves it. I say with no hyperbole that this is one of the most perfectly realized things I’ve ever seen on television. This is an essential watch for anyone who likes fantasy anime, anime in general, or fantasy in general.

#anime reviews

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goldensunset · 1 month

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i love n but looking at his final team in bw again it is. so bad. peace and love <3 but also i think it’s such a great detail

like it makes perfect sense in the story that the guy who doesn’t even like being a trainer, whose whole goal is to put an end to pokémon battling, would be bad at battling. cuz it’s not like he has a lot of experience with it. yeah he didn’t build a competitive team he’s just doing this with his friends kinda like penny. the previous times you fight him he uses only the random pokémon he finds around him like he’s just summoning the nearby forces of nature for aid like a disney prince or something. in the end he’s got a random medley of mons and the only logical explanation is those are the ones he’s had around for a long time and was always going to stick with

like so what if 2/3 of his final team are weak to fighting, 1/2 are weak to steel, 1/2 are weak to ground, etc. it’s whatever. those are the friends he happens to have and he’s loyal to them. so what if their abilities are either useless with how he uses them (illusion, plus) or an active hindrance (defeatist). so what if he doesn’t even have a dragon type move on zekrom/reshiram they can use either whatever they want to use idk man. no held items? no problem. he’s not about that artificial sweetener microplastic man-made item life they are living like nature

basically like he isn’t gonna judge them for who they are or what they wanna do. they’re his allies not his tools he’s not going to betray his ideals even for the sake of having a better shot at winning. it’s his friends or nothing

like. n is the guy who looks at the small picture of things over the big picture. he was never going to be able to beat the player and become the true reigning champion and hero of unova who has the authority to shut down trainerdom forever without approaching that battle with a strategic mindset and/or boxing his friends. he sacrifices his larger goal because he would never want to be the hypocrite who treats his own pokémon like tools while preaching that other people shouldn’t

(makes him like the exact opposite of ghetsis who’s strong yet evil while preaching goodness. who in fact directly benefits from abusing his pokémon (max frustration hydreigon, enough said))

and in turn like… he definitely knew this. he talks a big game but there’s no way that in his heart he didn’t already understand that he was gonna lose to the player. like @claitea once pointed out in this post the archeops with the defeatist ability for example is kind of symbolic here. n is a smart guy he must’ve figured out like halfway through the game that he wasn’t strong enough, that it just wasn’t meant to be for him, that ghetsis didn’t really see him as capable or worthy of respect, something like that. and his ideals were wavering anyway after having seen the truth about trainers and their pokémon out in the world. in his heart he had already half given up but was too stubborn to admit it, much like anthea says

the other way to interpret this of course is that since ghetsis has been introducing n to all these pokémon that have been abused (perhaps even abused *because* they were weak) in order to manipulate his heart, n has been taking care of these guys in particular and therefore has been closely bonding with them as the friends he wants to battle with. you could say ghetsis also has an incentive to ensure that n’s team isn’t strong enough to defeat his own in case n decided to revolt, thus he wanted to introduce him to a bunch of super weak pokémon. and again like @claitea says it’s odd that n would have a fossilmon like why would he have a fossil or go somewhere to revive it. decent chance he got that from ghetsis

but also like ghetsis did want n to be the strongest trainer in the region so he probably was hoping n would still do better than that. it could just be that ghetsis’ plan therefore backfired terribly bc oops you taught your son to love and defend all the weakest and least loved pokémon regardless of what they could provide for people and then they failed to provide for him. go figure

so either ghetsis apparently thought n’s team was good enough for him to give his son the green light to go ahead like that (which like. he was almost right except the player is built different) or he secretly really was banking on n losing. so that he had an excuse to toss him out like trash at the last second because that was his plan anyway

tldr feel free to disagree with any of these points or interpretations etc but like i LOVE it when they prioritize subtle storytelling and characterization over objective quality when building characters’ teams

#this has been in my drafts for a month lol #pokémon #bw #pokemon black and white #natural harmonia gropius #n harmonia #pokemon #pokémon black and white

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donaweasley · 11 months

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I Will Find You (Part 02)

Pairing: Loki x Fem!Asgardian!Reader

Plot:

Loki was back; but he’s gone again. And things have become worse than ever. Will it be possible to find a home again?

Part 1 to be found here

Warnings: Angst, smut (with a happy ending).

Read time: ~23 mins

Minors: DO NOT INTERACT! Please, sweeties, you’ll have your time for reading mature themes soon. It’s just not now. 🙂

Note: This is my first time writing smut and I’m totally freaking out!! It’s just not my zone, and I know it! So, please bear with me and leave me honest feedback if I should continue trying smutty things or should just leave it here.

They reached New Asgard almost two days after the incident. They would have probably reached the next night had (Y/N) not insisted on waiting there until Loki returned. Thor was exhausted both mentally and physically; he lost the battle and had no other choice but to wait with his headstrong sister in the cold.

(Y/N) could no longer feel him the way she had been able to all these years. But she was adamant; and the shock of losing Loki again made her more so. She believed that Loki could see her even if she could not see him. And she wanted him to see her sufferings, to understand what he had been putting her through, to realise his mistakes, and to come back.

But that never happened.

Dawn broke, and the light of the new day held every broken piece clear before her. Her obstinacy was not leading her anywhere. And then there was Thor, whose broken pieces were collected and smashed on the cold, hard floor again, only to shatter them further, with no hope of ever being put together again.

It was for his sake that she finally agreed to head home. Home! She did not even know what home was like anymore.

The next few days saw things getting worse than ever. (Y/N) became quieter but aggravating. Even Thor, whose smile could ease almost any situation she was in, could not decide how to approach her; walking on eggshells became a regular with the people around her.

The day things worsened was when (Y/N) shouted at the brother-like man in a drunken stupor.

When nothing could ease her pain, she resorted to alcohol, with the Valkyrie for company. The latter tried to push her away but she was resolute. After days of seeing (Y/N) wasting away, Thor decided to step in, but was met with a resentment that he had never imagined coming from her.

"I'm sorry to say this, Brunnhilde, but your drinking habits are getting you nowhere. And now you have dragged (Y/N) with you," he interrupted them one evening.

Before the Valkyrie could open her mouth in defence, a drunk (Y/N) rose to her feet, and staggered towards the older Odinson.

"No one has dragged me anywhere! Whatever I do, I do it on my own! And Who are you to say, huh? You drown your failures and your sorrows in alcohol all day. You shun away from your people and play some stupid game on your dumb box with your dumb friends. You, of all people, have no authority to preach others what to do and what not to do! You Odinsons…fuck you both! You have always lived your lives on your own terms, and never thought about the misery you cause others!! So, you, big, giant, warrior king Thor… please do not come stomping into my life, telling me how to live when you are living a life worse than death every single day!"

Brunnhilde managed to drag her back but not before the harm was done.

The next morning, a soft knock on Thor's door woke him up. With heavy legs, he dragged himself to open it, rubbing his eyes in the process.

He wasn't very surprised to find a sobered up (Y/N) waiting on the other side, with a tray of breakfast in her hands.

Without a word, he stepped aside, making room for her to enter. The place reeked of alcohol but who was she to complain now?

Gently placing the tray on the table, she turned towards him, only to find him disappearing underneath the sheets again.

"Forgive me for what I said yesterday. I was…"

"You were right," a muffled voice floated from inside the covers. "Why are you sorry for stating the truth?"

"Because that is not true, Thor! We both know I was out of my mind. It was not me but my anger talking, and… I am sorry, Thor. Please forgive me…if you can."

She turned to leave but a woeful call of her name made her stop.

"Please do not make yourself suffer because we failed you. You are worth much more."

She said nothing.

"Please get up and have food. Real food. Otherwise you will keep belching all day."

Almost two weeks had passed since they had returned from Tromsø. She made sure not to lash out at anybody anymore, but that also meant bottling everything up until at night when, in the company of darkness and solitude, she let all her emotions out through streams of tears that pooled onto her pillow.

It was another such night; insomnia was a regular visitor now. The rest of the village had fallen into a deep slumber but she sat awake with a book in hand, trying hard to decipher the simple words that her eyes ran over again and again. But her mind was elsewhere, as usual.

Suddenly, what seemed to be like a gentle tap on the door startled her. Her ears perked up. But there was no other sound. Dismissing it to be a figment of her imagination, she returned to her attempts at focusing on the book.

A few seconds later, it was there again. This time it was a clear knock - soft but clear.

Grabbing the hilt of her knife in one hand, she opened the door slightly. The sight before her made her freeze.

Loki was standing just beyond the threshold. The same look of exhaustion reigned in his entirety as she had seen almost a fortnight ago.

On one hand, she wanted to open the door wide and pull him inside and in a warm hug; she wanted her tears to wash all the pain away. On the other hand, she wanted to slash his throat open with the blade she held.

"Can you forgive me?" Loki's eyes pleaded with her.

She said nothing for a while but simply stared at him. The hand which held the knife wrapped so tightly around the hilt that her knuckles turned white.

"Can you forgive me if I shut the door on your face now?" She replied with an eerie calmness.

Loki's eyes cast downwards as he sighed. "I believe I would deserve that."

Silently, she opened the door wide enough for Loki to step inside. When he still stood outside, unsure whether to take the step or not, she spat, "Are you just going to stand there and let the cold wind rush in or are you going to do something?"

Nodding lightly, he stepped inside the cottage while (Y/N) closed the door.

Loki was home again. Or was he?

"I shall run a warm bath for you. Give me a moment."

He tried to call her but the name evaporated into an empty room as she ignored him and left.

She returned after a while, the same indifference stamped on her face.

"The bath is ready. You should find everything you need at hand. You may leave your clothes on the rack. I shall be back in a while."

"Where are you going?"

"To get some clothes for you. Despite what some might think, I do not have any man's clothes in my house."

Before Loki could utter a word, she exited the house, closing the door in her wake.

The damage that he had done lay bare before his eyes. A few moments of doubt and insecurity tore down everything that they had built over the years.

By the time she returned with a bunch of fresh but borrowed laundry, the house was quiet. She assumed that Loki was still in the bath.

"Are you still in there?" She asked with a small tap on the bathroom door.

"Uh...yes! Yes, I am."

"Try not to fall asleep in there. There are better ways to die than drowning in a bathtub."

Loki emerged from the bathroom a few moments later, a towel wrapped around his torso. She noticed that he had become thinner. A few faint scratches and small bruises marked his ivory skin here and there, especially his limbs. One particularly large and prominent bruise beside his right knee made her breath hitch.

Old habits urged her to run and wrap herself around him, to soothe all his pains, to kiss him all over and make love to him until they both fell asleep entangled in one another.

But recent events chained her from doing so. Swallowing the lump in her throat, she averted her eyes.

"There is a set of clean clothes on the bed. They may not fit perfectly but that is all I could manage in the middle of the night. I shall get you a new wardrobe tomorrow morning."

"(Y/N)!" Loki tried to stop her from walking away. "Please! Can I get one moment with you? Please?"

She still refused to look at him. "Have something first. And then we shall talk."

Loki stared at her as she disappeared into the kitchen. He had set this up for himself. And he should be the one fixing this, if only he could get a chance to.

As Loki had already assumed, dinner was unusually quiet. There wasn't much on the table - he did not expect anything at all in those late hours, especially after what he had done - but everything that was served smelled delicious. The fact that (Y/N) had prepared it all herself made them all the more special for him.

She sat quietly on the opposite end of the small table.

Clearing his throat, he asked timidly, "I know that you might have already had your meal but…will not have anything? You like midnight snacks, do you not?"

"Used to. And I am full anyway. You may start."

This was not going anywhere; at least not this way. He needed to give her more time, he realised.

Taking a deep breath, he took the first bite. Instinctively, his eyes closed and a moan left his sealed lips. He was starving and the food tasted divine in his mouth.

As (Y/N) observed him, a tiny smile surfaced on her stern features. But she quickly hid it before Loki opened his eyes.

Who knows how long he might have been starving!

The thought made her shiver. Her eyes almost welled up but she fought her emotions back, trying her best not to reveal herself before him.

"You are an exceptional cook!"

But Loki's compliment was met with another sharp response.

"I am average. It is only because you are famished that you find it good."

Loki did not utter another word until the meal was finished.

"Thank you, (Y/N), for having me."

His words did stop her in her tracks but she said nothing.

"Please, (Y/N)."

Loki placed a gentle hand on her shoulder, and the next thing that he felt was the sharp sting of cold metal on his Adam's apple.

Her face was inches away from his. She wore a facade of anger and hatred but her eyes shone with unshed tears.

"If you wish to kill me, I shall not fight," he spoke without wincing. "But please, I beg of you, do not alienate me. Do not push me away, please, love! I have suffered enough. And in that, I have made you suffer, too. Forgive me, (Y/N). Can you?"

"You said I did not deserve you," her hand shook just like her voice did. "You snapped our bond. You did not trust me. You accused me of infidelity when you know how much I love you!"

"I am sorry, love. I truly am! I… I saw you both together and… I do not know! I am sorry!" A tear rolled down his bony cheek.

"But you did not come back." The tears that had been held back were now cascading down her face.

"I did! I did but… I did not know how to face you. Or Thor. For eleven days and nights I roamed in and out of your village. I did not show myself to anyone lest they should tell you."

"And would that have been so bad?"

"I did not know how you would react. Or if you would have me. But then-"

"Then what?" The words came out but in whispers.

"I could not take it anymore. I had to come to you even if you kicked me out or killed me."

"I…" Words failed her. Everything became a blur as a tsunami of emotions tossed violently within her.

"Please accept me, (Y/N)," Loki's eyes bore into hers. "Please tell me that you still love me."

They did not realise when they had come so close that the words were almost breathed on each other's mouths. The knife that was held to his throat dropped to the floor with a sharp clang, and it was only then that they noticed their proximity.

She was unsure whether to act on her desires or to bring her ego between them.

"Please love me, (Y/N)!"

How could she say no to that plea?

Shoving her ego aside, she wrapped a hand around his neck and pulled him closer, immediately pressing her lips to his. They remained that way for a few seconds before moving with an impatience and a fervour that would have set the cottage aflame. His hands snaked around her waist and pulled her flush against him. Loki tilted his head to deepen the kiss, his tongue gliding against hers constantly in a harmonious dance. He tasted of apple pie. She tasted of cheap alcohol.

Her weight on him and the force with which she was kissing him, although immensely pleasurable, made him take a few steps backwards, thus making him hit the table. Bracing himself with his left hand, he regained his balance, and then mapped the said hand along her sides, remembering every curve along the way.

With a gentle push of his body, he took a few steps forward until their paths were blocked by a wall. Pinning her to it with his weight, he continued the ministrations of his mouth while his hands trailed the column of her neck, eventually causing one of them to get lost in her hair. The same happened to her: one hand felt the hardness and the warmth of his chest while the other was tangled in his dark locks. A quick tug on the hair at the nape of his neck resulted in a soft moan from the god: a blissful music to her ears!

When they finally tired themselves out, momentarily though, did they stop. Panting hard, breathing into each other's mouths, they remained still: bodies limp against one another, foreheads pressed together, hearts racing as they basked in the afterglow of their session.

"Tell me that you love me," Loki wished just loud enough for her to hear.

"Of course, I love you, you oaf!" She chuckled breathily. "Never doubt it. Ever!"

"It was a mistake I cannot forgive myself for."

"Now shut that beautiful mouth and come to bed," she slowly pulled herself away from his embrace. "You need rest. A lot of it."

"I do not. Not now. I need to love you," Loki insisted. "Please let me love you!"

"Believe me, I want to do nothing else but make sweet love to you." Loki's face brightened at the confession. "But that must wait. You need to heal first."

Seeing his frown, she laughed. It was just like old times again.

"Lie down with me?" She asked with a smile.

The god tried to protest but the yawn that broke through him declared otherwise.

Almost the entire night, or whatever was left of it, (Y/N) watched Loki: his bare chest rising and falling in the moonlight, like the sea during the tides, his hair splayed on the pillow challenging the night with its dark lustre. The mouth that had been kissing her passionately was now slightly parted. The movement beneath his closed eyelids spoke of some distant dream that he might be having. She silently prayed that it would be a good dream, one worth remembering.

The soft hum of the sea outside, paired with the cool light of the moon seemed to bring back the magic that was them.

And yet there was something off. The hollow of his cheeks were deeper than usual, his eyes were sunken and there were dark circles under them. And then there were the scars and bruises. She wondered what unimaginable pain he might have had to go through all this time. Questions regarding his escape from the ship, his whereabouts and other things spiralled her down an unfathomable hole, exhausting her mind thoroughly in the process.

(Y/N) did not realise when she had drifted off to sleep. When she awoke, she found the comfortable weight of an arm around her waist. Sleep-laden eyes opened to find a pair of green orbs staring at her face with an adoration that almost made her cry. Soft sunlight peeked in through the curtains, lighting the room up with a heavenly glow. Or was it the presence of the god that made it all so special?

She did not know. She did not care. Loki was with her. She was in his arms. That was all that mattered. Everything else had to be beautiful!

"Did you sleep well?" Loki's deep voice, accentuated by the raspiness of sleep, floated into her ears like ethereal music.

"I did. After a long, long time, I did sleep well. And you?"

"Same here." His face contorted as he tried to stifle an obstinate yawn.

(Y/N) giggled, "Just let it out!" And he obeyed.

For a long while they lay awake, simply looking at each other, tracing lazy patterns on one another, neither willing to put an end to the moment.

"I cannot believe I finally found you," Loki smiled.

"You always do," she played with a strand of his hair.

"First things first," he said and placed his fingers against her temple.

She felt the same tingling sensation that she had felt years ago when Loki had shared his magic with her.

"Do you feel me now?" He asked with a soft smile.

"More than ever!" A tear escaped down the corner of her eye.

Loki leaned in and placed a chaste kiss on her mouth, followed by another, and another, until they were both entangled with each other, their lips and tongues caressing the other ardently.

His hand grazed the length of bare skin on her legs until he was met with the hem of her pyjama shorts. Pushing past the barrier, his fingers trailed upwards. Her breath hitched when his hand rolled over and squeezed her clothed ass.

"Loki…" She moaned breathily as her tongue gently traced the column of his neck until she found that sweet spot below his ear that always turned him into jelly. There, she left a small bite, immediately soothing it with a lap of her tongue.

The groan that left Loki urged her to explore the skin of his shoulder, down his collarbone and onto his chest. She left small, open-mouthed kisses as she moved downwards, taking the skin between her teeth here and there, earning her precious rewards of hisses and groans from Loki. Moving upwards, she gently rolled a nipple between her teeth, and watched as Loki's head rolled backwards.

"Still sensitive, are we?" She smirked while Loki looked at her with lust-filled eyes, his gorgeous mouth hanging open in anticipation.

(Y/N) worked her tongue and teeth on his chest, making him produce all kinds of sinful sounds, before moving south again. Meanwhile Loki's hands moved across her back, trying hard to peel the t-shirt off her but failing.

Amidst all the lust and need, her mind worried about the marks on his otherwise perfect skin.

What were they? What happened? How?

But she did not want the moment to be ruined. Carefully threading her way through the marks, she carried on her path of desire.

“Tell me if I hurt you, will you?” She smiled at him.

“You can never hurt me,” he rasped.

“Just tell me if I do,” she insisted, and he nodded.

Before long she found the trail of dark hair that led to the treasure they had both been awaiting. The bulge in his sweatpants was inviting. But instead of giving Loki what he wanted, she continued her trail of kisses over his clothed skin, her thumb exploring the secrets just beneath the waistband. This continued for a while, making Loki even more frustrated.

Just as she was about to hook her fingers under the band of the pants, she was flipped. With a squeal, she landed on the mattress, with Loki hovering over her.

"You have been a tease for quite long, darling," he growled. Oh, how she loved that sound! "Now, it is my turn. But first, this has to go." He tugged the t-shirt that she was wearing.

"Do not tear it, please!" (Y/N) quickly held his wrist before he could rip it in shreds. "I do not have many," she confessed with a sad smile.

Loki's eyes softened at the admission. "I will not."

Gently, and with her help, he pushed the garment up and over her arms, until it was lying on the floor.

The sight before him made him groan. Bending down, he buried his face in her naked chest and inhaled her scent, followed by a soft kiss. Slowly but intentionally, his hands mapped her breasts, kneading and squeezing them. His tongue and teeth played with the taut bundles on top making her whimper and squirm beneath him, until he released her with a small pop!

With hands still locked on the swells of her chest, his mouth made its way downwards, the curls on his head leaving a feathery tickle in their wake.

"May I?" He asked with his fingers hooked under the band of her shorts.

"Stop being a tease!!" She whined, making him laugh.

But Loki had to be a tease. He pulled the band down as slow as possible, kissing every inch of skin that was being exposed in the process.

"Damn you!" She cursed.

This made him finally whisk away the fabric, adding it with the other discarded piece.

"You are so gorgeous!" His breath, hot on her mound, made her rub her thighs together.

"No, darling, keep them open for me." He gently parted them with his hands, and lowered his head.

"Loki!" It was not a moan or a whine. It was a call that made him look at her with worry.

"Not now," she pleaded. "I need you right now. Please!"

"Good. For I cannot bear this any longer."

By the time Loki got rid of the pants, (Y/N) was sitting on her knees, unable to hold herself anymore. Hugging her tight, he brought her on his lap, and kissed her passionately, grinding himself on her wet folds all the time.

Hoisting her up, he aligned himself with her and slowly brought her down until he was fully sheathed in her. Closing their eyes, they both relished the feeling for a few seconds - the feeling of being one, of being complete, of reliving all similar memories that they had created together back in Asgard.

She latched her mouth to his, and slowly started moving. It was slow, unhurried, unlike their state of mind a couple of minutes ago, and like the movement of their tongues in that very moment. She could feel him everywhere, inside her, outside her, as though she was enveloped in him. After all these years, she felt a sharp sting at the stretch. But it was a pain she was willing to bear everyday if it meant that she could be with Loki.

(Y/N) rotated her hips leisurely, while Loki placed open-mouthed kisses along her collarbone. Eventually, she started increasing her pace, turning his kisses into grazes of teeth.

That was until Loki could take no more. Digging his fingers into her hips, he took control of her movements. This new manoeuvre left her empty with only the tip inside before he slammed into her, reaching her deepest parts. A loud scream escaped her as he touched her most sensitive parts.

Loki shushed her. He panted between his thrusts, "You…do not…want…the…village…to-"

"I cannot help it!" She shouted.

That very moment, her walls fluttered around him, and a loud animalistic groan escaped him.

"See?" She smirked.

Loki locked his mouth with hers, both of them moaning and panting into each other, muffling the sounds that should have remained only within the confines of their chambers.

"Touch yourself!" Loki commanded.

When she did not obey, he admitted, "I shall not last long. Please, love, touch yourself. I want to come with you."

This time she did as was asked, reaching between their sweaty bodies, rubbing herself as Loki incessantly rocked her and slammed into her. Biting on the sensitive skin on his neck she let out a guttural moan as the coil in her stomach tightened. Her walls clenched around him, making him cry out her name. His movements became sloppy and so did hers. Holding her tight and burying his face in her shoulder, he pushed into her a few more times before asking her to let go, finding his own release with her.

They remained still for a while, catching their breath, floating in bliss and peppering each other with kisses wherever possible. At length, she pulled away but just enough to give him a long kiss on the mouth.

"Do these hurt?" She lightly traced his scars.

He shook his head slowly.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"Not now."

Nodding, she pressed another kiss to his lips. A confusion spread across her face when Loki wrapped her legs around his waist.

"What are you doing?" She smiled.

"Hold on tight."

"What-"

Her question was left incomplete as Loki grabbed her ass with one hand and, balancing himself with the other hand, got off the bed with her.

"We do not want to spoil the sheets, do we?" A mischievous glint shone in his eyes. "And… I was feeling sort of lonely in the bath yesterday. Would you like to join me?"

"Certainly!" She kissed him as he carried her to the bathroom, still buried inside her.

—-----

"It is time we told Thor. And everyone for that matter," (Y/N) said while preparing brunch.

Before Loki could answer, a loud knock startled them.

"Lady (Y/N)," Thor's voice boomed, "it has been quite late and you have not been out of your house. Are you feeling unwell?"

"Let me handle this," Loki, clad in the clothes from the previous night, sauntered towards the door.

Taking a deep breath, he opened the door. "Hello, brother!"

The said brother stood still like a statue for a few seconds before landing a hard punch to the younger one's face.

Hearing someone stumble, (Y/N) came running to the scene to see Thor pull Loki into a bear hug. He was sobbing.

"It is good to see you, too, brother," Loki smiled and patted his back.

Home was indeed beautiful.

------------------------------------------

***

In case you haven't read Part 01, here it is.

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bloodynereid · 2 years

Text

Eye of Madness / Eye of Greatness - part 2

pairings: targaryen family x platonic! velaryon oc + implied aemond targaryen x oc

tw: blood, prophecies (?), character death, kind of dark idk, fix-it au, sword fighting, helaena is kind of ooc, daemon is somehow a good father, targcest (idk it just happened ok - my brain somehow conjured up chemistry between these two)

description: Years after the incident at Driftmark, Elaena and her family now live in Dragonstone. However, the family is called to arms in an effort to defend Lucerys' claim to the Driftmark throne. Elaena must now return to court to face her dying grandsire and the uncle whose price she had payed. An eye for an eye.

a/n: sorry this is so long... the words kind of ran away from me. anyways I would urge you read part 1 first if you haven't yet for the sake of context but I'm pretty sure you could just read this on it's own tbh. hope you enjoy part 2 as much as I enjoyed writing it :) Elaena is my little badass dreamer.

disclaimer: I unfortunately don't know High Valyrian (I am learning it on Duolingo) so the phrases and convos are a combination of different online translators and dictionaries - I tried to eliminate the English words that couldn't be translated so for the people who do know the language well, past tense stuff and some plural stuff is most definitely incorrect. If you all want to correct me on it feel free to.

part 1 / part 2

Years had passed since the incident at Driftmark and the Velaryon/Targaryen family now lived in Dragonstone, far away from the green poison that festered at the Red Keep. Even if Elaena had changed the fate of her brothers that night, the greens still thirsted for power. She was lonelier too… often exchanging ravens with Helaena but never finding that bond amongst the children of her age again. Her own brothers and cousins mostly left her alone and the younger ones were scared of the eye that was no longer there.

Her only companions that filled her formative years were her mother, Rhaenyra and her father figure/uncle, Daemon. He had taken up her Valyrian lessons after the maester had decided to try and make Elaena wear an eye patch, telling her it was disgusting to have to see that ugly thing every day. The man disappeared without a trace one day and Elaena came back the next day later smelling of smoke and fire. Daemon had also taken up her sword training when he found her practicing with a wooden stick one day, telling her that if she insisted on training at least it should be with steel and a worthy companion. Elaena was knocked on her back more than she could count that afternoon.

The sounds of the sea crashing against the rocks helped drown out the voices that had grown harsher over the years. Demanding that she would listen to them. The heated skin of Cannibal carefully enveloped me as I cuddled into his side, lightly stroking the coal colored scales. Green festers in the cut and the man will speak truth in accusations. Accusations given for power. Power that he will never grasp.

“Ziry vestragon hae iksi naejot henujagon Zaldrīzesdōron aderī, dōna valītsos.” I felt his rumble against my back and a little laugh escaped my lips. Cannibal was a sweet creature even if he did have some harsh tendencies. He reminded me a lot of the spiders that Hel and I would catch all those years ago. I can still remember the day when I bonded with him so clearly, like it had only happened yesterday. It seems like we are to leave Dragonstone soon, sweet boy.

The day had been occupied by a storm, none of the children had been allowed outside so Elaena and her family had spent the day by the fire, exchanging stories and playing little games. It had been a while since they had done anything similar to this and Elaena had been missing her two brothers, who had been unintentionally avoiding her due to their guilt about that night. That ordinary day however would eventually turn into one of the best in her life. This was the day that the Gods had been whispering about.

When all the castle was fast asleep, the young princess sneaked into the kitchens and grabbed a meager amount of food and a water jug before setting off to hike through the wilderness that surrounded the castle. The wind slashed and tore at her clothes while rain beat down from the heavens.

I had finally found him as the first rays of sunlight started to permeate the sky, the gray clouds dulling the usually colorful sunrise. Cannibal was resting on one of the highest points of the island and for a young girl with only half of normal hand-eye coordination, climbing had been a… task. Especially as the wet rocks slipped and tore at my hands as I ascended the cliffs.

“Rytsas zaldrīzes.” I said as I carefully approached the large mount and the dragon slowly opened his eyes and looked at me with curiosity instead of the expected fury, the Gods had been right. As always. Hello dragon.

“Gīda… gīda.” I extended my hand over to his snout, the dragon’s warm breath instantly making me forget the bitter cold that had seemed to have permanently seeped into my bones during the hike. Steady… steady.

“Kessa ao rual nyke naejot sōvegon lēda ao?” Cannibal answered with a resounding huff, that sounded to me as an agreement so I gave the beast a large smile. “Kirimvose, ñuha jorrāelagon zaldrīzes.” Will you allow me to fly with you? Thank you, my dear dragon.

I leaned my forehead against his and carefully made my way over to his side. Sliding my fingers reassuringly across the black scales. Since he was a wild dragon and had basically killed all of the riders that had attempted to claim him - there were no ropes or saddle on his back. I would have to ride bareback then. As if he sensed my uneasiness, Cannibal turned his head to look into my eye, his head cocking before turning his snout and blowing steam at the ledge high up on the stone wall.

“Sȳz zaldrīzes.” I took off the pack and placed it on the floor before climbing up using the cracks in the wall until I was standing on the ledge. The whispers fill my ears and give me courage. Dragon of coal. Dragon of stone. Two souls entwined in only the way a dragon and rider can be. I jump off from the ledge and hold on tightly to Cannibal’s back. He lets out a loud roar and slowly spreads his wings, I give him a little pat on his side and I hold on tight. “Soves, Cannibal.” Good dragon. Fly, Cannibal.

He lets out an even louder roar that resounds against the stone and slowly ascends into the clouds. The rain had stopped and now only the morning dew sat heavily in the air. The sun had risen fully by now and the skies were painted a dull orange and pink. I let out a laugh as we suddenly dip down and twirl around in the air. I felt free, completely free. “Dracarys!” Dragonfire!

“Ahh I knew I would find you here.” My mind is wrenched out of its memories as I hear the familiar voice of my uncle Daemon. Cannibal rumbles menacingly but I give him a reassuring pat before getting up from my spot on the rough grass.

“Kepus, iksis ziry jēda syt ñuha gūrēñare?” Uncle, is it time for our training?

“Daor, aōha muña ēza jiōragon iā vōljes hen se Baela. Jaelza naejot ūndegon ao.” No, your mother has received a raven from Baela. She wants to see you.

“Sȳrje. Egros gūrēñare tolī?” Very well. Sword training after?

“Kessa, eman iderēbagon se vok dīnagon. Gōntan nyke ivestragon ao nūmāzma Syrax's arlie drōma?” Yes, I have chosen the perfect place. Did I tell you about Syrax’s new eggs?

We talked as we scaled up the rocks that surrounded Cannibal’s chosen resting place and Daemon excitedly spoke about the clutch of eggs he had found earlier that day. I had grown fond of the man people called Rogue Prince, he had become more of a father than Laenor and Harwin had ever been. Mother continuously joked that we were two sides of the same coin - both second-born and rogue. Father and daughter in every way that counted. Daemon entertained even my wildest mutterings and delusions. Comforting me, alongside my mother when the worst dreams came around.

The familiar bricks of the Red Keep came into view as I flew out of the clouds and descended into the Dragonpit. Letting Cannibal fly off into the wilderness after I slid off his back, he’s still a wild dragon at heart and has killed quite a few dragon keepers who tried to domesticate him over the years. Brushing off the black and red riding leathers, I took off my gloves and tightened the braids that were entwined in my hair. I had decided to come slightly later than the rest of my family - knowing the strange stares they usually attract whenever I joined them. Purple stone. Green blood spills. Against red bricks and red fire. Blood will be drawn by the knife of ire.

“Rytsas dārilaros, aōha muña ivestretan īlva naejot jiōragon ao. Konīr iksis iā anne rȳ se remȳti naejot gūrogon ao naejot se gaomagon.” One of the dragon keepers I knew well from childhood had approached me as I watched Cannibal become a speck in the sky, informing me about my mother’s instructions. Hello princess, your mother told us to receive you. There is a horse at the gates to take you to the Keep.

“Kirimvose.” I flashed him a smile before walking over to the gates, seeing a beautiful chestnut mare tied to one of the posts with one of the members of the Kingsguard sitting on a white one next to it. Thank you.

“It seems that my mother still believes me incapable of protecting myself.” I say as I untie the rope and slip onto the saddle, my sword clanging against my hip. The sound of my voice makes the guard snap out of his trance and look at me, his eyes widening. Clearing his throat in discomfort, he answers my quip:

“Sorry princess but it was actually the Queen who insisted.” My eyebrows shoot up.

“The Queen hmm? Well I sure hope you can keep up.” I knock my feet and set off into the streets of Flea Bottom as fast as I can, leaving him cursing behind me and starting up his horse as well. The small folk shout insults at me as they try to move out of the way. A laugh escapes me. It’s not like riding a dragon but at least it’s close to it. Plus it’s fun to toy with guards, especially those sent by the Queen.

I arrived at the Red Keep, with a very disgruntled guard coming in mere moments after me. I told one of the servants to inform my mother that I had arrived, giving the excuse that I wanted to go explore before seeing her.

The first place I found myself in was the training grounds. The whispers I had accompany me in the halls were downright cruel, but I had heard worse and what was I going to do - pop my eye back in? I saved my brothers and all these people care about is vanity.

Standing off to the side I leaned against one of the pillars, watching my uncle Aemond spar with Ser Crist- no that didn’t seem right, Crispin? It must be Ser Crispin. I eyed my two brothers who looked at the man in mild disgust and also slight awe. Aemond had become a skillful swordsman. Eye of sapphire. Eye of amethyst. Two souls tied together by their shared sacrifice.

“Nephews… have you come to train?”

“Now, now, Kepus, we wouldn’t want you to lose another eye. I don’t think I’d like to go blind, do you?” I spoke up which made everyone gathered in the training ground turn to look at my previously unnoticed presence. Uncle.

My brothers looked at me with quizzical looks as I pushed off the wall and walked over to stand in front of the much taller man. I fiddled with the hilt of my sword and a smirk started to rise on my face. Eye to eye. Jem to eyepatch.

“Princess, we didn’t expect you to arrive so early.” Crispin piped up from behind Aemond, I tilted my head and gave him a little nod.

“Well the guard that you sent would most probably agree with you, Ser Crispin. Now, uncle, you called for a spar. Think you could take on your favorite niece?”

“Well dear Elaena, the offer was only extended to your brothers but I would gladly take you on. Think you can beat me?” I scoffed.

“Oh I do.” I pull the sword out of its sheath. The steel singing as I adjusted my grip on the hilt and walked back a few paces, aiming the blade at his throat.

“We shall see about that.” His eye sparked dangerously and I smirked. Let the games begin.

He brought up his blade and tapped the sword away from his throat before lunging. The dancing of metal went on for a short time until I started to pick up his tells. Even after all these years he still favored his right foot. The idiot Crispin probably didn’t want to correct his darling prince. I side-stepped his next lunge and pivoted my foot to the side before landing a well-aimed sweep. He was on the ground a second later, sword abandoned and mine aimed at his throat.

“Gaomagon ao obūljarion?” I ask with a sharp smile, tilting my head to the side. Aemond glances at my scarred eye and lets out a laugh. Do you surrender?

“Mērī naejot ao Elaena.” Only to you, Elaena.

I shake my head at him with an answering laugh before drawing my blade away from his throat and putting it back into its sheath. I offer my hand which he graciously takes and I help pull him up out of the dirt. I turn to my brothers who look at me with proud looks. Jace even offers a slow clap.

“I’m sure your sister misses me as much as I miss her so I shall see you at the inquisition. Brothers. Uncle.” They all nod towards me as I walk away from the training grounds, loud chatter erupting behind me as I slip through the doors.

I knock on the wooden doors as the guard looks at with suspicion painted across his face but it quickly eases when Helaena throws open the door and envelops me in a hug that has me staggering back before I can start to return it.

“El! Oh how I’ve missed you.”

“I missed you too, Hel. You look absolutely beautiful as ever.” She offers me a wide smile before pulling me into her chambers and shutting the door behind her.

“I like your eye. Aemond doesn’t like showing his eye so he uses an eyepatch but I’m glad you don’t wear one. Come, I must show you the new additions to my collection.” And that is how we spent the next hour before the Queen walks into the room and takes a seat next to us.

“Hello girls. Elaena, your mother is requesting your presence before you join us at court.”

“Of course, your Grace.” I say as I turn to look at her and bow my head. The amethyst obviously sparkling in the light as I hear her sharp intake of breath. I give Helaena’s shoulder a squeeze and walk out of the room and into the halls. Taking off into a sprint towards mother’s assigned chambers once out of sight of the guard.

“The Queen told me that you need to see me.” I say as I burst through the doors, causing mother to look up from her book.

“Yes, my darling. How was your time with Helaena? I know you’ve been missing her.” Mother said as I enveloped her in a hug while she sat on the sofa in her joint room with Daemon. Said man was sitting next to the fire with a large and very old-looking book.

“It was wonderful. The bugs she has collected are absolutely incredible. It’s too bad I couldn’t bring any of my collection over to show her.”

“Indeed.”

“We heard about your little spar with Aemond in the training yard.” There was a teasing lilt in Daemon’s voice as he didn’t even bother to look up from the pages. I cringed as I sat down next to mother on the couch, laying my head in her lap as she stroked her fingers through the free curls that weren’t tied up in braids.

“We also heard you beat him. Seems like all your lessons with Daemon paid off.” Mother says in an admonishing tone, clearly directed towards Daemon.

“He was making jests about Jace and Luke so I had to remind him who he was talking to. Ser Crispin also never taught him not to favor his feet it seems. Aemond was completely off balance.” Daemon laughs and finally looks up from his book to give me his signature smile. I hear mother let out a breathy laugh above me and she leans down to give me a kiss over the raised skin of my scar.

“I do believe it was Daemon who first made that joke about Ser Criston Cole.”

“His name is Criston? You know that doesn’t suit him at all, I still believe Crispin makes more sense.” It was said that the laugh that Daemon let out that day was heard across the streets of Flea Bottom.

After mother insisted I wear a dress for court, I picked out one of my mother’s old red dresses that was left in the wardrobe and paired it with an equally long embroidered coat that Daemon had gifted me on one of my name days. I now stood in the large hall that surrounded the Iron Throne, periodically tapping my knee against the sheath of the sword - a small act that calmed me against the strangely loud torrent of whispers and the anxiety of the whole situation. They had been suspiciously silent for the past day but had returned at full force once I came into viewing range of the Iron Throne. A rather uncomfortable looking seat for all the troubles it had and will cause. Snow. Men of the dead rise and thirst for blood. Prince that was promised clothed in the deception of a bastard.

The beginning of the accusations went along as smoothly as one could imagine, that was until the great doors burst open and in came the King. Hunched over his cane and with a gold mask covering half of his face. The man I remember from all those years ago had become a shell of himself and pang went through my heart. Great men subjected to rot and poison by inadequate and greedy hands.

The proceedings continued as normal with grandsire quickly rebuffing the threats to Luke’s succession and then well… Vaemond decided to insult my mother.

“And she is…”

“Say it.” I hear Daemon say from somewhere behind me. My hand slips under my coat and grasps the hilt of the sword. The metal slightly hisses as I begin to pull it out of its sheath.

“A whore.”

“I will have your tongue for that.” I hear the King say and out of my peripheral I see him stand up quickly, pulling out a dagger. I look back at Daemon for a split second as he has his hand on Dark Sister. I raise my eyebrows at him and he nods, letting the hilt fall and giving me a wink. I draw the steel completely out of its sheath and in one fell swoop half of Vaemond’s head is lying on the floor in front of me.

“Well he did once say that he would show us how his blood runs true.”

The entire family now sat at the large dining table awaiting the King’s arrival. Alicent and my mother kept trading glances as I traced Valyrian letters into the wood, looking up periodically to catch Helaena’s or Jace’s eyes from my seat at Daemon’s side. A few more minutes passed before grandsire finally appeared - being carried in by four guards. We quickly rose out of chairs, the wood scraping against the stone floor. He was slumped over and looked on the edge of death. We all sat back down when the guards had carried him over to his place in between Alicent and mother.

“How good it is to see you all tonight, together.” The Queen then proceeded to say a prayer to the Seven and I clasp my hands across my lap and listen intently as I scan the faces of my kin.

“... and to Vaemond Velaryon, may the Gods give him rest.” Daemon turns to me at that and we exchange smiles, accompanied by the lowest of scoffs from my part.

I continue tracing patterns and listening to the whispers in my mind as the toasts and speeches continue, taking small sips of my wine as I see others doing so. After Jace’s rather taunting toast, I lift myself out of the seat and raise my wine glass.

“I would also like to raise my glass. To my dearest aunt, you were one of my most treasured childhood companions and I have been missing you greatly throughout these years apart. You have truly grown into a wonderful young woman and it is an honor to call you my friend, as well as my kin.” Mother gives me a warm smile as she takes a sip of her wine and Daemon gives my arm a little squeeze as I sit back down, flashing me one of his rare, genuine smiles.

“Thank you, dear niece. As my brothers can probably account for, I have missed you a great deal as well. Now… I would like to toast to Baela and Rhaena. They’ll be married soon. It isn’t so bad. Mostly he just ignores you… except sometimes when he’s drunk.” Daemon laughs at my side and I add some of my own laughter as well, but not before giving my aunt a reassuring smile.

I start digging into the food and periodically take sips of wine as I converse with Daemon and my mother, watching Jace and Helaena happily dancing. An idea materializes into my mind and I excuse myself before walking over to Aemond’s chair. He turned to look at me with a peculiar expression on his face as I extended my hand.

“Would you like to dance, uncle?” He wordlessly takes my offered hand and we sweep off into the hall to begin dancing. We mirror each other's movements as the music progresses, going slower and more cautiously than Jace and Helaena. He danced similarly to how he sparred, precise, elegant and sharp.

The merry dancing stopped however when the King slumped over and was carried out of the room, groaning. Aemond and I parted ways and we all started to go back to sit at our places, when a large pig was about to be set down in front of Aemond’s place. Knowing the consequences of this, I popped out my foot and the servant tripped, the pig falling onto the floor and the loud clatter of the silver plate reverberated throughout the dining hall. I slip back over to my seat and Daemon tilts his head with a small smile.

“What was that for you? You know I’m all for your tympir.” He whispers as I sit down. Games.

“Se māzīlarion.” I answer with a wink. The future.

I slipped into grandsire’s room after everyone had dispersed. Mother had decided we would go back to Dragonstone come morning so the servants were busying themselves packing things away and everyone else had already retired.

I had to make sure that the Queen did not put Aegon on the throne and that meant having to prevent grandsire from telling her about the song. And so I sat on the edge of the great bed and carefully took one of his hands between mine.

“Grandsire?”

“I’m sorry. But you wanted to know if I believe it to be true.”

“Grandsire? Is this about the song of ice and fire? Aegon’s dream?”

“Yes. Yes, my dear. It is true. What he saw in the North. The Prince That Was Promised.”

“I know. I know.”

“He will unite the realm, against the cold and the dark. It is you.”

“Grandsire?”

“You are the one.”

Press blade against flesh. Flesh to ice. And let the shadows guide the dragon. I carefully lift up grandsire’s hand and give him a kiss on the knuckles before straightening up and walking over to the blade of prophecy. Picking it up and placing it under my cloak I slip out of the room, making my way to the tower that I knew housed the Hand of the King. Blade against flesh.

Entering the rooms of the man who would basically single-handedly destroy my family, I take out the dagger and find the Hand sleeping with a great pile of documents next to him. The Gods had granted me another change of fate and so I placed the blade against his neck and started to cut away at the flesh, causing his eyes to burst open as he tried to push away from my grip. I held him in place as more of the dark red liquid slid down my hands.

A few moments later he lies there in a pool of his blood, dead. I wipe the dagger clean and step back admiring the sight. Then I methodically start to throw things around the room and sneak away the valuables, making it seem more of a robbery than a planned assassination.

Taking one last look at the room, I sneak back out through one of the hidden tunnels and walk through the shadows of the castle. Placing the blade of prophecy back into its rightful place, fulfilling its call of blood. I get back to my rooms and scrub my hands of the blood and make sure to get rid of the tainted cloak and valuables before slipping under the covers and letting my ancestors' dreams quickly envelop me.

and... that's the end of part 2. hope you all enjoyed it - ik it had a kind of different vibe than part 1 but I wanted to show how El had grown and matured during those years ig. some random thoughts I had during the writing of this:

Elaena's braided hair was totally inspired by Dany's - like she saw that in her visions and randomly decided to adopt it. It probably looks like this but with her curly brunette locks.

2. Otto's death randomly came to me as I was outlining this out and it was totally self-indulgent. I just really wanted to see that man dead.

3. This wasn't the og ending I had planned out tbh but it fit better than what I had been thinking about so it ended up way more open-ended than originally intended.

4. I like to think that El understands and can speak Valyrian because it's kind of like a Percy Jackson situation where the whispers that she gets are all in Valyrian so she naturally can just understand it.

5. Her bond with Cannibal !!! This was one of those things that first popped into my mind when I first started thinking about writing a part 2. I was reminded a lot about Vhagar and Aemond's bond cause I wanted to do something that was the complete opposite. As Dany once said: Dragons are not slaves. El's bond with Cannibal is one of mutual love and trust - they are basically one person. Think about it like soulmates.

6. El is like a year-ish younger than Jace but I don't have a specific age because we don't have any specific age for Jace in the tv show so sorry about that.

7. Daemon and her have this weird father-daughter bond that was also completely self-indulgent. I like to think that he kind of saw a lot of himself in her and Rhaenyra was like go be the father that she never had. Also El calls him uncle cause it was just easier for me to put that in - like calling him father would just be weird for her and technically he is her uncle due to his marriage to Laena.

8. Last one I promise, El doesn't wear an eyepatch due to the fact that she's proud of her sacrifice and because I personally found Aemond incredibly hot when he showed his sapphire eye in ep 10.

taglist: @alexandra-001 . @chevelledahuman

#daemon targaryen #daemon targaryen x reader #daemon x reader #rhaenyra targaryen #house of the dragon #hotd #hotd fanfic #daemon targaryen x oc #aemond targaryen x oc #hotd x oc #house of the dragon fanfiction #helaena x oc #helaena the dreamer #team rhaenyra #rhaenyra is a great mom #jacaerys velaryon #aemond targaryen x reader #hotd x reader #my ocs <3

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cocktailjjrs · 3 months

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Why does everyone hate Mori soo much!!!!

The show would be soo bland without his sorry ass interfering every now and then.

I actually like the way his character is presented!

(No hate please, if you don't like mori feel free to skip)

So I've been doing a bit research and kinda a character study for a fic i'm writing. And ofc Mori has a part in it.

And so, i go on and look through all his scenes. Read through a few fics to see his interactions with other characters. And do a bit on character analysis as a whole.

It baffles me how people just downright hate him or plain misunderstand his Character as whole.

Like, i don't usually try to defend characters online because everyone has their reasons and rationale, but the whole thing with Mori seems so absurd to me, because we've seen the villains do soo much worse!

Canonically speaking, while he has done some bad shit, he's not the worst in the series either!!!

BSD has always taken the 'it can't get any worse than this' phase and proved it wrong. Mori was supposed to be 1st/2nd season's antagonist.

And no, i don't mean to say that he is not evil. He is downright evil, a mastermind through and through. He's the Port Mafia's boss for gods sake, the most dangerous underground organization, he has a reputation to live up to!

Yes, he is a calculating bastard. He measures each and every move and knows about warfare in depth, and he wields his knowledge as a weapon very well.

Is he a paedophile? Maybe. It's been implied once or twice (if i'm not wrong)

Was his treatment of yosano wrong? Definitely! and he is an ass for that!

But he is SUPPOSED to be an ASS!!! That's the whole point of that character! And i believe those are the character that bring sooo much excitement to the storyline!

But everyone seem to have misunderstood his character soo much or just doesn't want to see the whole picture. And I used to think Chuuya was misunderstood!!!

You remember, when in 15, Dazai was given his first mission as a PM member and that time Mori said 15!Dazai reminded him of himself?

Now think back to what 15!Dazai was -

a teen

suicide maniac

a genius who has never been surprised

manipulative freak

acting carefree and harmless but having a killing intent hidden in plain sight

Now put it in this perspective,

Mori had a life before war that we have no idea about. He was a doctor. He was desperate to win the war by any means, even if it included bringing a child in the military camp, even if it meant keeping a death loop going on and on, even if it meant permanently traumatizing the soldiers.

But WHY?

Mori, as it has been stated multiple times, is someone who is always calculating and rational. He does not let his emotions overtake his decision making, thus making him cold towards others. But there must be a reason why he turned out to be so.

After war, he started working underground, creating a neutral zone for criminals. He knew Natsume sensei before that time. I always wounder why would Natsume entrust his vision to someone like Mori (along with Fukuzawa), if he was really a lost case.

After the whole fight with Fukuzawa over Yosano; he turned to take control of Port Mafia. Maybe he wanted to take Yosano with him then, to create an army of unstoppable ability users.

But the war was over. Then why would he need to do that?

Mori is one of those few characters whose backstory is not at all known to us. I can only think of Dazai and Fyodor other than him with no clear backstory. This makes him a dangerous wild card in a lot of situations. We saw that with Tachihara and Verlaine (completely different circumstances but instead of killing them he kept them close)

But then i read fics that depict him as feral and unhinged, portraying him as a predator who took advantage of poor poor Chuuya and/or Dazai, making them do horrible stuff without their consent.

Like, DID WE EVEN WATCH THE SAME SHOW?

Dazai and Chuuya have been unhinged wayyyy BEFORE they met each other or Mori.

Dazai is not some soft kid, who was physically and sexually assaulted, he was not made to behave tough with Akutagawa. And he certainly was not afraid of Mori. Does Dazai have PTSD related to Mori? Maybe, but in regards to Oda's death. That's it.

Chuuya is not someone who would sit still and take punishment from scalpels and whatnot because he fucked up a mission. Mori is not a fool to send Chuuya on a death mission just because he is afraid he'll take his place or to spite Dazai.

Does this bring a rather angst narrative to Soukoku? Yes it does. Does it make sense? if it's cannon compliant, no it does not!

Soukoku does not need Mori to be the bad guy to come together!

(i think he is no 1 Soukoku shipper himself)

He is not soft but he is not unhinged either. He knows how the ways of war work and he knows there can be no emotions involved if you have to win the war.

You don't always get such characters who are so morally grey, they do everything bad, they are supposed to be evil but still, the plot will be lost without them. Mori is such a great example of that.

Wanting to have peace and staying by the rightful path is all well and good. But where there is light, there will be darkness (because it's definition itself says its absence of light, so you can't exactly have one without the other). And without anyone to keep a check on that darkness, it will consume all.

Without Mori taking over Port Mafia, if we recollect how the previous boss had lead, Yokohama would have been way too bloodier and chaotic than it is now.

Plus, i don't think if Mori was such a bad boss, all of Port Mafia would jump in to protect him against agency during the Cannibalism arc. Hell, even if the grunts did not have a say in it, the executives and commanders did. And we saw them all - Chuuya, Kouyou, Kajii, Black Lizards; hell even Akutagawa and Higuchi were there! And that fight was after he had insisted no altercations with the agency.

My point is, can i have a normal representation of such a great character?

#thank you for coming to my ted talk #i feel so bad when i see ppl hating him for things he have not done #like hate him for killing Oda #or for traumatizing Yosano #but thats it #what else did he do?#And then on other hand everyone just forgave Fukuchi like he did nothing wrong 😭#not fair #bungou stray dogs #ougai mori #bsd mori #port mafia #bsd #chuuya nakahara #dazai osamu

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whereserpentswalk · 3 months

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Its very far in the future, humanity has spread out across the galaxy, to the point where nobody on one edge of human space knows what the other edge is like, most humans haven't even seen earth.

Your family had to flee your homeworld for political reasons. And the planet you ended up fleeing to is one with very little contact with outsiders, perhaps more contact with aliens then they even do with other humans.

The planet has completely removed sexuality and romance from the humans who live there. They just have a quick procedure when they're born, that takes away their romantic and sexual attraction, as well as libido and any physical arousal or erotic sensation. You didn't get the procedure when you came to their planet but you were young enough to assimilate into their culture.

For most of you're life you're the only person who you know who has any of these sexual or romantic feelings. It's not that hard when you're a kid, but once you hit puberty you start feeling things about your freinds and people you know that nobody else can relate to. It's like you want to touch them in ways you can't put into words.

Because nobody on the planet has sexual emotions, they don't have modesty standards. Occasionally you'll see someone in an outfit that reveals their genitals, and it's no big deal, not common but not unheard of. You know a girl whose always bottomless because of sensory issues, and it's no diffrent then how people would react to any other fashion choice. And people will just touch and cuddle eachother too, without romance it doesn't have any significance beyond platonic attraction. It's common for freinds to just cuddle and stuff like that. And it's just considered normal.

You feel really bad about being attracted to people. They don't realize what it's like for you. You try to describe it, but they don't understand. Some people ask why you don't get the procedure, and you have to explain to them that at this point it would be like losing part of yourself. Even if everyone else is fine with never feeling these things, you have to feel them, for your own sake.

Some people get really scared of you when they find out that you're allo. They think you'll do something to them, and want to not be seen by you, afraid that you'll think about them in an alien way. They're used to foreigners being attracted to people, not someone who knows their language, and lives in their city.

Eventually you meet someone who is really interested in the concept of attraction even though she can't feel it herself. She gets really excited when she finds out you actually experience it. She asks if you find her cute, you're terrified saying that you do, but she gets so happy realizing that she's actually able to have someone attracted to her, even if she can never experience it back.

She let's you touch her in any way you'd like, she finds it so fascinating, the way you rub her genitals when she let's you touch her sexually, even if she can't feel anything back. The way you reinvent what she tells you is a kiss, when she let's you cuddle her in a way she tells you she wants to be romantic. She knows she can't feel anything back, it's just a hyperfixation for her, but she likes watching you.

Eventually she asks if it's ok if she touches your genitals in a way to try to make you orgasm. She's so excited to see how fully functional genitals work. But its nothing to her at the same time. You feel like a zoo animal and like your exploiting her all in one. Like you wish she could be your girlfriend but never can be. She explains to you that it doesn't have to mean anything you don't want it to, you explain to her that that's not how it works for you.

You eventually get the procedure done. You spend your last days as an allo person looking at people you find attractive, and having your last orgasms. When the procedure is done you miss so much of your old self, you miss looking at people and feeling joy from how they look. You miss how touching yourself used to feel.

You live a normal life for someone on this planet. You'll never have any romantic or sexual relationships again. If you have children when you're older it'll be through artifical insemination, and there won't be any feelings twords the other parent.

The girl who used to be obsessed with attraction contacts you one day, after the procedure is done, telling you she met some foreigners who want to reverse the procedure for her. You tell her it's too late for you to be involved, but she's going to feel a lot of new feelings soon, mabye you could talk to her about it, but just talk, nothing more.

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wander-wren · 26 days

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small things to stop doing in your fics

(or any kind of writing, but i live on ao3. we begin with flat-out crimes and then slowly start moving into things that just bug me personally but aren’t wrong)

epithets. if i’ve said it once, i’ve said it a thousand times. you should only be using epithets for characters whose names we do not know. they can also be used VERY rarely to break up the repetition of names/pronouns or to emphasize characters’ relationships/viewpoints, ie “his boyfriend” or “the asshole.”

writing out accents. please stop. you can include a couple of small things, like “somethin’” or “ya” (for “you”), but even keep that to a minimum. specific turns of phrase/references go way farther imo to establish a character’s culture/background/etc. a little goes a long way, and doing it repeatedly can make sentences hard to parse. this also! applies! to children and babytalk! have you ever listened to a child speak? toddlers can enunciate pretty well!

not enough commas. put commas before names and titles. it’s not “Hey John” or “I’m on it captain,” it’s “Hey, John” and “I’m on it, captain.” also, put them after discourse markers/interjections such as “well,” “so,” and “now.” you should be writing “So, how are the kids?” not “So how are the kids?” even if your character is speaking quickly, you still want the commas because of grammar. it can occasionally be acceptable to omit them if you want to indicate extreme excitement/panic/anger/etc, but use it sparingly.

too many commas. i’m a comma fiend like the rest of you so i’m guilty here too, but we gotta at least stop with the comma splices. commas split and independent and dependent clause, meaning that one part of the sentence cannot grammatically stand alone. if all parts are complete sentences on their own, that’s a comma splice. try splitting it into two sentences, using a semicolon, or rewriting. this is usually fine in dialogue, though, that’s just how people talk.

also, using a lot of commas to denote panic is something i used to be HUGELY guilty of and now i hate it. instead of, “I, I, I don’t, I don’t know,” you can try, “I-I…I don’t—I don’t know!” probably not that much punctuation that close together, but for the sake of example. emdashes and ellipses, my beloveds 🫶

roleplay speak. i don’t know what else to succinctly call this? i’m referring to the tendency to be redundant and over-explain, especially in dialogue. it’s a phenomenon i see constantly in rp circles, usually because of post length requirements (and i have little issue with it there, it’s just the culture). things like:

“Surprise!” Adam shouted, popping out from behind the door.

“Oh my god!” Scott screamed, having been completely startled and not expecting Adam to be home yet.

yeah, we can guess that Scott is startled, right? because of the screaming? and clearly if Adam is surprising Scott it stands to reason his presence is unexpected? why are we stating this twice?

i believe this also comes from the mistaken idea that every line of dialogue needs a tag attached, which is….horrible. you can let the dialogue exist on its own sometimes, friends. you can also include an action beat without a tag. like above, i could have just said “Adam popped out from behind the door” and omitted the shouting altogether. we can assume he is being loud because that’s usually how people do surprises. anyway. moving on.

condescending to readers. this isn’t so much about writing as it is author’s notes and the like, and “condescending” may be a strong word, but i’m trying to be succinct. at any rate, please stop telling your audience to not read your fic? “do not read if sensitive to [blank]” or “if you have [disorder] skip this fic!” is a horrible way to trigger warn. people know their own boundaries. tell them what the work actually contains and let them self-select.

i also find “rest stop/check-in” type notes condescending, like “if you are reading this between the hours of 10pm-4am, go to sleep” and “STOP! have you eaten/drank/walked around in the past few hours? go do that!” again, we know ourselves. i’m not your kid, don’t tell me what to do. i don’t mind a polite, casual little “thanks for reading, remember to drink water and take your meds, bye” note, though.

the others in this category? i will straight up not read the fic over that on some days. ESPECIALLY because, in my experience, the people who are most intense about warning for every little thing are the ones with the mildest fics, and that’s not what i’m here for.

complaining about your own wrong tags. this is, admittedly, such a nitpick, and it definitely is more common in certain communities than others. but as longtime followers may know, i’m a bit obsessed with ao3’s tagging system and it drives me BONKERS when people use the wrong tags and follow it with “not actually but there’s no tag for xyz.” here’s the thing: you can still look at all the works that have ANY tag, just the non-canonized ones can’t be filtered on. and the best way to get a tag canonized is, guess what, to USE it! imagine that. also, if you’re using the wrong tag, you’re just going to clog the filter results and get people who don’t actually want to read your fic. just stop.

#writing advice #fanfiction #wren writes #writeblr #this has been in my drafts for a while getting things added to it as i come across them #i think it’s good now #feel free to add your own grievances as long as they’re small #last addition was the commas bc i just dnf’d a fic for having like no commas ever #why is every character talking at warp speed i cant focus #also yes i’m a hypocrite bc you can probably find at least most of these in my fics. ik i have the rp speak one very recently. but thats bc #its a rp turned fic and i’m lazy about editing #i dont mind it in that case i think rp fics are fun its when its clearly Not a rp fic that i get annoyed by it

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paraliveimaginesblog · 8 months

Note

!!! your writing is soo adorable omg !!! if its not too much do you mind writing watching either horror or romance movies w/ dongha, kenta, and hajun !! tysm nd i appreciate your works sm !!

(this was a cute message thank u so much!! I'm glad you enjoy my writing dear~)

Dongha Yeon:

Dongha thinks love without stipulation is silly. He wanted to watch movies that just had romance as a background, or not at all, but since that’s not what you wanted he had to find at least something to satisfy you. He thinks some of the more upscale romances, ones where the characters aren’t throwing themselves at each other but slowly build up into the types of people who are so close they’ll undeniably support each other whether they’re dating or not, are more tolerable but they’re certainly not a preference.

He always enjoyed watching other people suffering more than him, but horror still isn’t a preference. He’d like films that had a little more ‘what ifs’ to them, mostly because it’s what’s expected of him, to like movies that made him use his brain. But Dongha wanted some thoughtless fun too, maybe something that was a silly little slasher so he could watch foolish teens without feeling guilty because they had it coming. You can see the quiet contemplation in his eyes when he watches horrors, how he winced when there were killers whose background consisted of an abusive family, but rather than bring it up you tried to soothingly stroke the back of his hand with your thumb, pretending you needed the comforting instead.

Hajun Yeon:

Hajun is a man with unfiltered opinions so you’re wary about bringing favorite movies of any kind in front of him. Romance seems to get the harsher of the two, especially when there are big betrayals that are tied up by the end; when they leave a trillion loose ends, Hajun can’t help but wonder aloud how they can truly trust each other after that. He also rather there be an exciting plot to surround the romance, nothing too ‘slice of life’ as it wasn’t interesting to watch the life he was living. You would take offense but you can tell when he makes certain comments he’s trying to get a rise out of you, but it’s not the only time he speaks up. He seemed to be paying close attention to the actions of the leads, seeing the kinds of things you liked and thought were cute to jot down for later.

Horror is a genre Hajun seemed to enjoy a little more. He might not say they were his favorite but you can see the amusement in his eyes at seeing stupid people suffering for their decisions, especially when the bad guy ultimately wins in the end. He tells you that it feels more realistic but when there were main characters who went through nothing but trauma, good people who confronted the bad things they had done, who end up winning in the end despite what the film might foreshadow… He’d breathe a notable sigh of relief. You don’t tease him for this but you do put your head on his shoulder, trying to keep yourself still so he can’t tell that you’re giggling at his investment.

Kenta Mikoshiba:

Some horror movies make Kenta a little jumpier than others. Living his life in a locked down home, or even just in his regular cell at the prison, made it so he felt at least safely contained. But watching a supernatural movie where steel bars won’t protect him, nor will his beefy roommates, makes him a little on edge. He acted tough and when there were movies with cool killers with a schtick he always got a laugh, but anything that digs deep beneath the surface makes him antsy. You think he’s cute when he inched a little closer to you when you watched them together, though he always pretended it was for your sake (and you let him, since you were still getting prime hand-holding time with him).

Romance movies make Kenta roll his eyes. He’s filled with all kinds of criticisms for every conflict that comes up, mentioning that love made people stupid and he couldn’t stand it (ignoring the irony of the situation since he was watching said moves with you). You didn’t take much of his opinions to heart because it was clear he held up a wall when you watched them together, and you wondered how he’d feel if he watched one when it was just him. You can see him getting invested when there’s a star-crossed lovers type of situation, and he looked even more miserable if the romance was one that included distance as the stories main obstacle to overcome.

#Paradox Live #Paralive #Paradox Live Imagines #Paralive Imagines #Paradox Live x Reader #Paralive x Reader #Dongha Yeon #Dongha Yeon x Reader #Kenta Mikoshiba x Reader #Hajun Yeon #Kenta Mikoshiba #Hajun Yeon x Reader

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shroudkeeper · 5 months

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Darkness consumed her, clinging to the curvature of her silhouette, transforming and defining her attire. She was adorned in her proper raiments, garments which billowed around her ankles. The shadows of her hounds rose, scaling the walls, climbing high above the awnings until the sliver of moonlight had all been engulfed in nothingness. He wanted this, to push her to the brink of enshrouding herself. To see her for what she was.

One of the lanterns peeled away the tenebrous shadows; from above one came to life suddenly. The ghastly light descended and a terrible maw formed then divorced, giving way to a tongue that rolled out, with a glaring eye was fixated on the target of its mistress, whose frigid touch held it in place.

"Finally, you're here..beloved."

His mouth watered at the idea of tasting divinity, to feel those same hands she denied him pressed against his face in praise. His beloved indeed, his beloved. In this state of hers, he would finally prove himself worthy, to stand at her side, even if everyone else had to fall for the sake of this. To his knees, and into a pool of rain, he fell before her. She saw what had become of him as the light finally reached his form. His features revealed themselves to her. This is what envy, desire, and loathing do, give birth to a demon, one who pollutes the tranquility of their soul, their heart decays, and any purity it holds diminishes and allows another to gain control. To manipulate.

"My lady," he could barely recognize his own voice as he addressed her, but the feelings were still there, sprouting with each word. "Would you accept it now, that I am the only one who knows what you are, who can protect you, who can give.. and take."

Each word fell on deaf ears, nothing but an insect's buzzing escaped his lips. Her eyes glanced at him but once and soon settled upon the blade that he flaunted, brandished. Still, there is no expression on her features, her gaze is as empty as before. Sympathy, anger, despair? She was numbed to it all. But to destroy lives, trap the souls purged from their physical forms, followed by the audacity of offering them up to death as if they were a prize.

It was offensive.

The wails and agonized whispers resonating from this accursed blade would be silenced, and these souls would find release.

Without warning, his throat was seized by tendrils rising from the penumbra at his feet, betraying him as she watched them take form and grow defined. He was going to be dragged under by hands, hands that took the form of the people he killed, of the corpses he left behind. Mercilessly they scratched and pulled, trying to sink him into the stone, to be devoured by the shadows of her manifested domain. Into the world of darkness.

"I have killed for you! Always for you! Yet it is not enough!"

He hated it, always being second place. To the clan, to his brother, and now she would treat him like the others. Never good enough, even compared to some worthless merchant who would piss himself if he confronted the monstrosities she loved.

He hated her for it.

And if she would not have him. He would have her, her life, her soul, her body.

"I will be the last thing you see!"

Against his bindings, he lashes out and pushes off the ground in unnatural strength, like a beast that has been taunted too long. Even Kikyo had to take a slight step back, though there was no semblance of fear in her steady gaze, a hint of disappointment graced her lips but dissolved within a heartbeat as her eyes shifted to a space behind him, looking beyond where he knelt.

The indignation he tried to keep in check, shatters past the delicate binds that kept his mind from unraveling, it erupted at once in a strangled roar as he clawed at the fronds of his shadows, but kept a hand clutching the sword he offered, refusing to release it to save his own life.

Then his wail soon joined the cacophonous symphony played into the air as her geta pressed to his wrist and a gruesome crunch splinters through the cries. There is no satisfaction on her face, only watching his desperate attempt to grab at her ankle, only to have his arm pulled back by force and snap at an angle that would send an ordinary man buckling to the ground. But despite breaking his bones, the humiliation of her giving her back to him caused him to foam at the mouth.

Broken bones would not stop him, the umbral bonds were broken and he launched himself forward, but stopped suddenly. Her hound's claws took hold of the demonic horns and snapped them in a sound akin to a twig. A piercing pain and head-splitting sound imploded in his head, and darkness flashed behind his eyes like a Rorschach test.

Limb arms swung, his claws swiped at the air, at fabric, trying to get to her flesh, to disfigure her. To imprint his agony on her in any way, any method, he could. This was his vengeance, for choosing a lesser creation he would brand her as a reminder.

Then suddenly a flash of light and steel broke past the gloom.

And the world grew silent.

The flame of his life was suddenly snuffed but it was not by her hand, nor that of her shikigami who stood vigilantly, but by another. Another who despite his own injuries, still adhered to his orders, who would not sway from his duty.

#ffxiv #ffxiv screenshot #ff14 screenshot #ffxiv writing #tw: blood #I promise it is almost over #well it is over for HIM atleast

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iliveforyouilongforyouvesuvia · 4 months

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Brainrot Housekeeping: A little note about Dorian

This is my heads-up that I've decided to try messing around on their platform and translating some of my headcanons into the Arcana's visual novel format.

This is not a promotional post. (hence why you won't be seeing any links, story titles, or profile handles)

It's mostly so that if anybody sees something posted by an author over there using my ideas/moniker, it's probably me and not a thief. Also, this blog is far and away my priority over that - if I start to feel overwhelmed or burnt out, that's going to be the first thing I stop doing. Not this :)

I'm putting more thoughts below the cut since the main point of this post is to be transparent about my activity to avoid misunderstandings:

I've been in conversation with plenty of people about Dorian. I've heard from people whose lives were transformed for the better because of it, I've heard from people with mixed feelings, I've heard from people whose lives were wrecked by it. It shouldn't be a surprise to anyone who's been on my page for a while that I'm fairly skeptical of them myself and don't always see eye-to-eye with them on how things seem to be run.

Anybody who's talked to me personally about it knows that I have boatloads more opinions, but I realized that those are based off of what I've heard much more than off of what I've experienced. So for transparency's sake, here are my reasons for trying this out:

First, the most important thing I've learned to do is to try encountering something for myself when I keep hearing and developing strong opinions about it. Sticking to this personal value is what got me out of Rai's server and influence (if you don't know and you want to know, read my pinned "to the arcana fandom" post) and ultimately what helped me get the resources I needed to help my friends get out of serious danger too. If I want to join the conversation about the clear divide between Dorian's vision for the Arcana and the fandom built around the original game, I have to try both sides out for myself.

Second, I'm a curious person and it seems like a new way to fuck around and find out (something I do constantly, though I rarely show it on here :P). I'm a creative, I love these characters, and the chance to see my own words in the original format sounds like fun.

To finish off, these are the goals and parameters I'm setting myself when it comes to however active I end up being over there. I'm putting them here again for transparency, but mainly to help me keep myself accountable:

My main goal is to try a new experience and have fun in the process. To do that, I'm going to keep my mind open without losing critical thinking and only make what I feel like making and when I feel like making it

Nothing I create is going to be motivated by a desire to be "successful". I'm already successful - I have a steady job IRL, a group of amazing friends, and this gift of a page that lets me be creative and find joy with other people around one of my many interests

Being active over there is going to be a bottom priority. If my tasks are getting to be too much, that will be the first to go because the only value I place in it at this time is experiental

If I find I can't stick to these goals, whether it be motivation, mentality, or just a loss of interest, I'll stop my activity over there and re-evaluate what I'm doing vs what I want to be doing and why

If I encounter something that's deeply concerning to me, I'll attempt to address it proactively through the proper channels available to me. If those concerns remain unaddressed and I think people need to know about it, I'll talk about it openly and honestly

I won't use my blog or server to promote any work I publish over there. Concurrently, I'll do my best to avoid any promotion off of the Dorian app

That's all from me for now about this! I'll be linking it in my pinned post so people who want to know more about me can look at it, but I won't be putting it on the arcana tag because I don't think it's relevant at this time.

Cheers!

brainrot

#ask arcana brainrot #dorian era

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hersterical · 6 months

Text

soul lore in Buffy is finally beginning to make sense in my head (give me a break, I didn’t watch the show until COVID and didn’t start taking part in the fandom until at least a year after that). A lot of this is basic stuff the fandom’s been saying for years, this is just to help get my thoughts in order before I fall asleep and lose the train of thought.

There are a few important elements but I think the two biggest ways the lack of a soul influences a vampire is 1. No moral compass and 2. No empathy (as we see mostly with Spike but a few others as well, they can have sympathy but no empathy). I also don’t get the impression that soulless vampires are capable of true, selfless love. Again looking at Spike, whenever he loves someone pre-soul it always felt possessive or like he wanted to be possessed by someone. Sure, he sincerely wanted certain people he cared about to be happy, but he didn’t want them to be happy just for the simple sake of them being happy. At best he wanted them to be happy because being around them makes him happy and it’s his happiness that truly mattered to him. So if there ever came a time where the happiness of the person he cared about didn’t make him happy anymore, then he wouldn’t care about their happiness. This is mostly based on Spike because he’s the vampire we have the most opportunity to understand while he doesn’t have a soul. To me it seems that all soulless vampires could be placed on a scale from Spike, who possesses the most amount of sympathy and derives the greatest amount of happiness from the happiness of others, to Angellus who doesn’t have a single ounce of sympathy and actively takes joy out of the misery of others. Most seem to tend closer towards Angellus’ end of the scale and I wanted to explore that a bit.

Before I do that though there are some important things of a more physiological nature that would influence vampires both with and without a soul. The first is that I’ve always gotten the impression that a vampire’s primal, predator instincts are more heightened and animalistic than humans. The way I see it there are two main explanations for this: 1. Those instincts come from the demon that possesses the body or 2. Something about becoming a vampire allows them to access the human’s dormant predatory instincts. I’m no evolutionary scientist so I can’t say how likely that second one is, but no matter what it’d be far from the hardest thing this show asks the viewers to suspend their disbelief for. The other thing about vampire physiology has just little enough evidence to support it that I would probably have to classify it as a headcanon. I am convinced that human blood is an addictive substance to vampires based on how secretly being fed Connor’s blood influenced Angel.

With all that said, I’d like to take this opportunity to explore the after-life span of an average Joe vampire.

Imagine you wake up and it is dark, cold and suffocating. But none of that bothers you because more than anything you are hungry. No living being has her possessed this great hunger that you are experiencing right now. Not even being capable of conscious thought at this point, you start clawing. Eventually you dig your way up to the surface where you either have your sire waiting for you, holding in their arms the greatest smelling meal you’ve ever smelt in your whole life, a human, or no one and you need to find something to eat yourself. Even if you find a small animal to eat that’s not enough to satiate your all consuming hunger. No matter what you’re going to get your first taste of human blood as a vampire that night. And it is the greatest thing you have ever tasted. Sure, you had to kill someone to get it, but you don’t care. As you finished eating and stared at the corpse of a human being whose heart is no longer beating because of you, the closest you get to regret, shame, or guilt is the surprise that you don’t feel any of those things.

That was the best thing you’ve ever experienced but you still don’t have a particular desire to kill people. You might even avoid it for a bit in order to avoid attention or out of habit. But even if you actively don’t want to kill another human for whatever reason, you can’t get the taste of their blood off your tongue. The thought of human blood consumes you every waking moment of your life, which is quite a bit considering you don’t need to sleep anymore. But whether it be in a day or a week or a year, you will kill another human. This time you do care. Not that they’re dead, no. But in that moment as you took their life force and made it your own, you have never felt more powerful or in control (ironic considering vampires actually tend to lose control while drinking human blood). Even with all of this great supernatural power you’ve been gifted with, nothing is as powerful as taking a human life. And the blood itself. It feels almost like your rapidly fading memories of warm sunlight on your skin, gentle instead of burning. You’ve never been particularly power hungry before so even though that part might be cool, it doesn’t hold a candle to the sensation of drinking blood. Whatever hesitation you might have had towards killing humans is now gone. But that still doesn’t necessarily mean that you want to though.

You go and visit your loved ones from when you were alive, but when you get there all you can think is how weak you were. How dull the life of a mortal is. How nice the warmth of the sun was on your skin. How it felt to be loved. How it felt to be willing to give your own life and happiness for the sake of someone else’s. It fills you with rage, disgust, and even jealousy for your old self. You take your power back and get rid of any reminders of who you used to be.

Time goes on. Decades pass. You feed, you travel, and you learn. And you grow bored. What was once an exciting after life is nothing but pure drudgery. Even the taste of human blood is becoming common after so long of living off nothing but that. What hasn’t gotten old is the chase. The hunt. That power you once got a taste of but didn’t particularly care for at the time is the only thing that can make you feel anything. Humans are no longer tasty little juice boxes, they’re your play things. The adrenaline from the hunt turns your hunger for blood, into a hunger for power over people.

Eventually the chase grows stale. It’s just too easy. You try to spice it up by toying with humans. Making them scream or beg. But it’s still not enough. That’s when you hear about it. A hellmouth. A slayer. Both together in the same place. One of the greatest sources of power for a demon alongside with the greatest challenge any vampire could hope to face. It’s more powerful than any siren call, how could you possibly resist. Sunnydale is waiting for you.

You get there and between the influence of the hellmouth and the group think of a ridiculous amount of vampires and other demons, it feels as exhilarating as the dance floor of a crowded nightclub. Which is funny because the local nightclub is where you do most of your feeding.

You lead your latest victim out into the back alley, and start feeding. You are once again growing bored even on a hellmouth with the prospect of facing a slayer. It’s just too easy. These are your thoughts when you hear someone clear their throat. This surprises you enough to pull you away from your meal to see a small, blonde girl who’s dressed for a night of dancing. Dessert. Except something’s off. She tilts her head and outs on a mock pout as she asks if she could just get one night off. You don’t like her attitude, her face looking far too smug for your taste, and her blood is singing out to you like no blood has ever done before. You feel almost as hungry as the night you crawled out of your grave. Tossing aside the barely alive human you were just feeding on, you eagerly lunge at the small woman.

She punches you in the face. Hard. You fall to the ground and scramble back up as quickly as possible as you’re filled with a sudden certainty. “Slayer!” You snarl with equal parts shock, anticipation, and fear.

“Is that part of the vampire handbook or something? You guys really gotta get some new material.” She says in response.

How dare she? The insolence! You’ve drained the life out of hundreds of humans before her. You are immortal. Invincible. And she just dismisses you like you’re nothing? She will learn. You are the night, you are fueled by the life-force you’ve been draining out of humans for decades. You’ve seen things this little girl couldn’t think up in her worst nightmares. You have purged yourself of all weaknesses and now you will obtain the greatest power any vampire could ever hope to possess, the blood of a slayer.

You run for her, your claws reaching for her.

You are immediately impaled. As you crumble to dust you hear the last words you’ll ever hear: a half-hearted quip about you not being the dance partner she was hoping for tonight.

#long post #it went from being meta to being a fanfic partway through #btvs #buffy the vampire slayer #Soul lore #angel btvs #spike btvs #angel the series #ats

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