gaypinkbugs - Tumblr blog

gaypinkbugs · 3 years

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Someone using it/its pronouns isn't a bad thing.

I mean this in the sense that a lot of people seem to think that if someone uses it/its pronouns that it's doing something wrong. That it's letting transphobes call it something offensive, that it's perpetrating transphobia, that it's making other people look bad, that it's giving permission to transphobes to be transphobic.

But in reality, people who use it/its pronouns aren't doing anything wrong. All of the things listed above are transphobes problems, not the person who uses it/its problem. Yes, transphobes do call trans people "it", but this isn't the same as when someone calls itself it. As one is a non harmful way of describing what someone wants to be called, and the other is ignorant hate.

It/its pronouns are perfectly valid, they're nothing to look down upon and see as something wrong. Hold transphobes accountable for transphobia, not those who simply exist.

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gaypinkbugs · 3 years

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Trans people are not the reason for our own oppression. Me wearing what I'm comfortable wearing isn't the reason someone is transphobic, me using neopronouns isn't reason someone is transphobic, me existing as a trans person with his own humanity isn't the reason someone is transphobic.

Blaming trans people for transphobia perpetuates transphobia. Treating transphobes like children who can't understand their own actions or change them without others changing for them first, and who need to be protected from what they do only makes things worse.

I nor any other trans person needs to be digestible for people. Transness can be complicated, and that doesn't need to change so that transphobes learn to not be transphobic

Transphobes do so much damage to the trans community, not because the trans community isn't digestible enough for transphobes, but because transphobes choose to be bigoted.

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gaypinkbugs · 3 years

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I feel like a lot of people think an inherent part of being arospec is platonic attraction, such as squishes and QPRs. But a fact that is rarely acknowledged is the fact that platonic attraction isn't something every arospec person experiences.

In my case, I'm aplatonic, meaning I do not feel platonic attraction. This means I've never had a squish and I don't want a QPR. This however does not mean I'm incapable of having friends or I don't want friends, as being aplatonic doesn't mean not having friends or wanting them. It's just a way to describe not wanting a QPR or having squishes.

Another thing I would like to point out, is that a majority of people will explain why being arospec is okay by saying we feel platonic attraction. This leaves out people like me, and it feels as if people who don't feel platonic attraction are being pushed out of the community.

People who don't feel platonic attraction are still valid and worthy of acceptance. Feeling platonic attraction isn't what makes arospec people valid and worthy of acceptance.

Being arospec is great because it just is. You don't need a specific attraction to be arospec, you don't have to fit into other people's idea of valid humanity, you don't need to feel love, you don't need to have certain relationships, you don't need to fit anyone's idea of being arospec to be arospec.

#arospec #aro positivity #aromantic #aro pride #aspec #QPR #qpr #queer #queerness #lgbtq positivity #lgbtq #lgbt #lgbtq community #lgbtqa #aplatonic

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gaypinkbugs · 3 years

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I've ranted about this on my other account but I wanna do it here too. Love isn't mandatory. You don't have to feel specific based love such as sexual, romantic, platonic, aesthetic, sensual, anything along those lines and you don't have to feel love in your interpersonal relationships.

But you also don't have to feel the emotion love, this isn't an extension of what I said previously, you don't have to feel the emotion love at all. You don't have to feel love for your family, your friends, your pets, your SO, anyone that doesn't make you a monster or not a person, that just means you can't feel love. And they don't have to have done something bad to "earn" not being loved, of course that can be the situation but it isn't here.

It's not wrong to not love your SO let's say, because you show them other emotions like compassion, kindness, caring, sympathy, affection, anything. You don't love them but you give them their favorite fruit without them asking you to because you like seeing them happy and enjoying something.

You don't love your cat but you let them sleep in your room, give them nutrients, play with them, pet them, buy something at the store because it reminds you of them because you care about your cat. You don't love your mom but when she asks to watch a movie with her, you're up for it without a second thought because you wanna spend time with her.

You don't love your friends but when they need it, you're always there to let them vent, you're there whether it's good or bad times because you don't want to see them feel bad, etc. The thing is, is that affection and other emotions can be seen as love and be seen as ways of expressing love. But they're not for everyone and that's completely okay.

You can show someone affection, compassion, kindness, caring, sympathy, etc. And still not love them and that's perfectly okay. Those don't have to mean love, they can just mean what the words mean. I don't love the man on the street, but I care that he gets home safe, I don't love that dog I saw on my walk home, but I still showed them affection by petting them.

I don't love the woman I talked to at the shop, but I was still kind to her. Love can be, but doesn't have to be, inside of those words and the way that we act. Saying "if you've felt xyz, you've felt love!" Isn't going to make people think they actually do feel love, it just makes people insecure about their own emotions.

Saying "but those are all ways to show love!" Isn't going anywhere either. You don't get the right to make people feel as if they need to feel love or recognize their emotions as love just because you do, that isn't your place.

A life without love is still a full, happy, memorable life. It's not dark, it's not dull, it's not lonely, it's not weird, it doesn't need to be fixed. Saying it's scary, joyless, that people don't know what love "really" is because they don't consider their emotions as love, that it's sad, that we're stupid, that you're concerned, that you're "impressed", etc. Is disgusting. (I am talking about a very specific person here).

You aren't broken for not feeling love, you're not bad (or words associated as bad such as some of the ones listed above), you're not a monster, you're perfectly okay if you don't feel love.

#aromantism #aro pride #loveless #without love #aromantic #arospec #queer #lgbt #lgbtq positivity #aro positivity #lgbtqa #lgbtq #aspec #you're not broken

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gaypinkbugs · 3 years

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Queer people who don't come out/haven't come aren't doing something bad for not coming out.

People put an expectation on queer people to come out even if they're not in a safe situation, even if they don't want to, because it's ingrained in people that you HAVE to come out. In movies, TV, books, etc. There's always a need for people to come out and when they don't it's always because of something DRAMATIC.

Coming out isn't a necessary step to get to. It can be for a lot of people, but it's not what makes you valid or queer enough. And it's important to remember the story of your coming out doesn't time skip like media (IE, movies make a process that can last years, last an hour), coming out can be incredibly messy and dangerous and it can take a long time for people to come around, if they do.

And on top of that, some people like to think that the bigotry that queer people can face when coming out "isn't that bad" and is always easy to brush off and ignore, and will encourage people to come out no matter what. The bigotry queer people can face after coming out is more than a minor problem.

Some things I hear often is how closeted queer people are "hiding who they really are", "ashamed of themselves", "don't really love their SO", "are ashamed of their SO", "they hate their identity", and more.

You can still come out, and coming out isn't always bad. It can be fantastic and do great things for you. But it's not mandatory by any means and it's all up to YOU, how you wanna come out, who you wanna tell, when you wanna come out, etc. Just be safe and aware.

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gaypinkbugs · 3 years

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🌸🐞🌸

WHAT THIS ACCOUNT IS FOR:

This account is mostly for me to rant about things I'm passion about, mostly including politics, queer rights, and disabled rights. This is my professional rant account (meaning I try and educate and try my best not to show my anger), but I might reply with my non-professional rant account that will contain the same general concepts but I do show more anger.

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A LITTLE ABOUT ME:

My name's Chris(tos) or you can call me Bug.

I'm autistic & ADHD, and am in the process of getting diagnosed with OCD, I use AAC and have tics as well. I'm also disabled (mentally and physically). I speak a few languages (or understand them at some capacity) including English, German, Spanish, ASL, Italian (listed in most to least fluent).

🌸🐞🌸

BOUNDARIES/RULES:

Although I do post argumentative/debatable content I will not engage in debates about these subjects, I will actively block those who try and start arguments AGAINST the subject as I do not care what you have to add. I will also not respond to things sent to me that are against the topics I post about, or who follow my DNI in anyway.

Respecting the pronouns I have listed in my bio is a mandatory thing, your own ideas of my pronouns doesn't affect your ability to respect them, I do use they/them but those are not a substitute for my neo pronouns and I do not accept them being used as such. I do use he/him although I do not accept being called those exclusively unless stated otherwise.

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DNI:

TERFS (Trans Exclusionary Radical Feminist), TEHMS (Trans Exclusionary Homosexual Men), SWERFS (Sex Worker Exclusionary Radical Feminist), truscum, trumed trumedic, anti-mogai, anti-xeno, anti-neo, exclusionists, anti-BLM, anti-ACAB, anti-SAAPIH.

Blue lives matter, ALM, racists, queerphobes (trans, homo, bi, a, etc.), sexists/misogynists, ableists, those who are antisemitic, those who are islamophobic, those who are xenophobic, autism speaks/next for autism supporters.

Those who support fetishization or who fetishize, MAPS, noMAPS (IE pedophiles, hebephiles, ephebophiles), zoophiles (beastiality).

Proana, eating disorder blogs, self harm blogs (I block and report these accounts, even if it states to not report your account I still follow through with that action).

(This list may be subject to change)

🌸🐞🌸

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gaypinkbugs · 3 years

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The only thing that refusing to educate children on being queer does is alienate and kill queer children, and it also breeds hate in non-queer children because they never learned that people are people even if they're not like themselves.

Blocking education on purpose because you don't like it, even when there's nothing legitimately wrong with it and actively encouraging your child to never be exposed to it will only cause harm.

If a non-queer kid can find out that they have a crush on someone and you encourage it, what makes the queer kid any different? What idea of queerness is inside of your head that you think a child liking another child is morally wrong? A non-queer kid's crush isn't any better than a queer kid's one, neither is disgusting and neither is wrong.

Think back to your first crush (if you have one), what emotions did you feel? Those emotions are damn near hard copies to a queer person's first crush (if they had one). You didn't think about anything sexual at that age, all you knew was that you wanted to be around this person, that they were cool/nice, you liked xyz about them. Small innocent things, that doesn't change just because you're queer.

When I had my first crush the only thing I thought was that I liked his hair, I thought he was nice, and I wanted to be around him more than other people. All of those feelings were perfectly okay and are still perfectly okay.

The "let kids be kids" argument does nothing either, queer kids are still kids, queer kids still deserve childhoods, non-queer adult's comfort doesn't trump queer children's childhood, or their ability to be seen as just as much of a child as non-queer children.

#gaypride #gay #bisexual #bi #queer #queerness #gayness #queer politics #queer kids #trans #transgender #i don't know what tags to use #stuff goes here #idk how to tag this #ftm #mtf #non bianry

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