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hailene · 2 years

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𝒢oldₗₕₛ |𝚙𝚊𝚛𝚝 𝙸𝙸𝙸|

[This was only the beginning.]

masterlist | wc: 1.6K

❏

"Congrats, guys, you were amazing!"

"Incredible performance!"

"You guys killed it!"

"You've just earned yourself a tone of fans y'all!"

You were bowing and thanking everybody for the kind words and the praises, because frankly speaking, you received way more than you had expected. Both you and Heeseung were surprised by a wave of deafening cheers as soon as you finished your stage. Nobody was talking about how the two of you were so close to kissing at the end. You were relieved, but a part of you was a tad bit disappointed it went unnoticed.

After what happened between you and Heeseung the previous night, it was like both of you were charged to limits you hadn't reached before. While performing, you could feel it. The deep-down-buried chemistry that professor Kim was talking about ignited last night and even though it did help you in your performance, you were scared the fire was going to burn you down.

You didn't want to check social media, knowing that even though maybe you'd see a few fan praises that you were longing for, you'd see a lot of other harsh remarks that you weren't ready to process, especially because you knew Heeseung's fanbase was huge.

"The performance is over," you hear Heeseung beside you as you gather your stuff in the dressing room. "Why are you so tense?"

You shrug, trying to ignore the suffocating feeling that something was off. Maybe it was just that you felt guilty for having crossed the line so shamelessly, with so much hunger. You also didn't want to pay much attention to the boy, since you knew you had to keep your ground.

But you couldn't deny the fact that he was giving you a weird sense of safety.

"Hey, it's alri–"

"Kids, the director wants to see you tomorrow morning."

You both turn around to a lady from your company's staff, who was looking at you calmly, obviously sent to deliver you the information.

"Make sure to be there at eight," she continues with a small smile. "Rest well for tonight."

"Okay, thank you," Heeseung replies, since you were unable to speak.

The lady nods and leaves the room. You let out a deep breath and let yourself fall on the sofa next to you, holding your head in your hands, as if it was about to fall off at the amount of thoughts racing inside.

"Come on, you don't even know wha–"

"What if he knows?" You ask, interrupting the boy.

You were alone in the room, but even so, you didn't feel safe to talk about that there. The industry is harsh, you never know who is spying you from the other side of the door.

Heeseung knew that as well, that's why he was holding back from going overboard. He simply shakes his head, without making a big thing out of it.

"He doesn't," he tries to assure you. "And even if he does, this time he won't care."

You knew that he was somehow right. The director asked for a legendary performance and all the rules you broke with Heeseung were broken for the sake of it, so you basically did nothing wrong. You knew the director cared more about the final result than what you had to do in order to reach it.

But what would happen next time? And the time after that? Can you really stop here?

"Don't worry," Heeseung says as you prepare to head to your company's cars.

You turn towards him and he gives you a small sincere smile.

"I'll defend you."

As soon as you saw Sunghoon in the lobby, you felt like you had been shot. Heeseung headed to the dorms before you and so now you were walking alone towards your practice room in order to pick up a bag you left there in the morning. The boy raises his head to look at you, probably sensing that someone was staring at him.

"Hey," he says softly and you let out a shaky breath as you walk towards him.

He stands up just in time for you to wrap your arms around his slender body, burying your face in his chest, taking him by surprise.

"I'm sorry, Hoon, I'm so sorry," you mumble as he eventually lets his hand pat your back gently.

"You don't have anything to be sorry about," he says and you feel the frown in his tone. "I was too quick to judge."

You pull back the slightest bit to glance at him. You've missed Sunghoon and even being at odds with him for a little while felt horrible and foreign.

"I watched the performance, by the way," he says before his signature cocky grin makes its way up to his lips. "Did someone get rai–"

You cover his mouth with the palm of your hand before he can voice out anything else. His smile widens and you lower your hand after a few moments.

"You're blushing," he points out and you feel your cheeks hit up even more.

"I'm not," you argue pointlessly. "It's just... I ran... until now."

Sunghoon hums in agreement, making you let out a frustrated sigh, avoiding your gaze because you were too embarrassed.

"He really likes you, though," you hear your friend saying and you raise your head to look at him confused.

"You on drugs?" You ask, squinting your eyes at him.

He chuckles.

"I mean it, Yun," he says. "He asked me if I had feelings for you at some point, he said he wanted to know if he had the right to make moves. You know Heeseung never asks."

You stare at him, unable to process the information. Heeseung.... what?

"I wasn't expecting you guys to move this fast but oh well–"

"What are you even saying?" You ask, your voice cracking audibly. "He hates me, Sunghoon, don't lie to me, it's not funny."

Sunghoon smiles with a tint of bitterness.

"I know he had the chance to switch with me for the performance at some point, but he chose not to," he shrugs. "I've seen the way he looks at you, the only person lying to you right now is yourself, Yunie."

The only person lying to you right now is yourself.

You make a step back, feeling like the air was being sucked from your lungs. This couldn't be true, you can't watch as the walls of the reality you've built for yourself crumble down. You got so used to the idea that no matter what, there were never going to be any strings attached between you and Heeseung, that seeing your wires had ends right now was terrifying and you almost refused to believe it.

"I... I need to go," you say, walking past your friend, walking away from the striking news.

"Don't screw it up just for their sake, Yun," you hear Sunghoon saying behind you, making you stop in your tracks. "At the end of the day, the only thing your bandages can't heal is a broken heart."

You keep walking towards the practice room without looking back.

"You wanted to see us," Heeseung says as the two of you make your way into the director's office.

Mr. Park turns around in his chair, giving you a bright smile. You have never fully trusted this man, he has always seemed like he had too many tinted aces up his sleeves, but the staff was mostly nice, making up for his lack of genuine empathy.

"Ah, yes," Mr. Park says. "First of all, I wanted to congratulate you for your performance, I knew you were going to do a magnificent job together."

You both bow, thanking him for the formal praises. You were standing at a fair distance from Heeseung, since you still weren't over what Sunghoon had told you the other day. You tried your best not to show it, but you knew Heeseung already figured out something was off with you. When you spend so much time training with someone so intensely and so closely, it's like a connection is built between your minds as well.

"And second of all, I wanted to talk to you about something, you may sit down for this," the man says, gesturing towards the two sofas in front of his wooden desk.

The two of you do so, making yourself comfortable and waiting for what your boss had to say to you.

"After last night's performance, both I and some qualified staff checked the social medias intensively," mr. Park begins and you nod. "I don't know if you did that yourself too, but if you did, you probably noticed the main idea of all the posts regarding your performance."

His gaze moves forth and back from Heeseung to you and the confusion makes you grow anxious.

"Everybody is asking if the two of you are dating," the man explains and your heart stops for a second.

You blink a few times, leaning a bit back in your seat, while you could feel Heeseung discretely glancing at you.

"Now, now," the man begins again, on an excited tone. "Don't take it as a threat, oh dear Lord, no. At first, I didn't really care, but after some consulting with the marketing team, we came to a conclusion that might be the best for the two of you and, of course, for our company."

He was making such dramatic pauses and you hated that with all your might. You weren't sure where this was going, but you had a bad feeling about it.

"So, kids," he says, a weird smile spreading on his lips. "I have an offer for you."

This wasn't good, you could feel it.

"I want you to promote as a couple, a duo of aces," he speaks and you feel your vision darkening.

Don't tell me...

"We'll proceed to post the official notice that our top trainees Lee Heeseung and Jang Yun are dating today at noon," he says with a practiced smile. "You're inseparable from now on."

And that was only the beginning.

-the end

a/n: Hi, guys! this was the last part of Gold I wrote, I hope you enjoyed it! I would love to hear your thoughts on it, as well as maybe other types of series you'd want me to try writing! Thank you so much for the support you've shown Gold so far and I hope I haven't disappointed you, at least so far!

tags: @iwanttohitmyself @hvbitsvt @nyfwyeonjun

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hailene · 2 years

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I accidentally screwed up the first posted version of Silver I am so so sorry, it's up edited now:')

Anyways thank you so much for 100+ followers, it's literally been a wild ride so far and I'm thankful to each of you!

The final part of Gold is coming tonight! Stay tuned^^

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hailene · 2 years

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Silver

genre: enemies to lovers!au, suggestive | wc: 0.5 K | tw: mentions of blood and fighting

You hold the silver blade against the flesh of his throat, almost excited to see him in pain for the first time in your life. It's been annoying, being a cold glint away from him but without ever being able to stain it with his blood. It has always been only yours. But not too much of that either.

The way he was watching you was frustrating you even more, making you tighten your grip on the knife handle even more. You would have done anything to wipe the mischevious smile off his face. It made your blood boil, it made you strive for his pain.

"Not very wise of you," you say slowly, leaning in the slightest bit. "Choosing this place... where no one would ever hear you scream."

The truth was that it was something you couldn't quite understand– why would anyone ever want to be isolated like this? Not that he would need it, but wanting to be heard when crying for help is in human nature, no matter who you are.

You realized, however, that it was something that your mind hadn't figured out. For a moment, you feel fear. The fear of realizing you are not in control anymore.

His smile doesn't falter the slightest bit.

He leans in, the skin of his throat touching your blade ever so slightly. You almost felt relief washing over you– his crimson velvet blood was sliding down your blade gently, those few drops almost curing your life-time starvation. It wasn't enough, no, but it was so so fascinating.

"Do you know what that means?" He asks, voice unexpectedly hoarse.

You don't.

His smirk widens.

He puts his hand over that one of yours holding the knife. The gesture takes you off guard, leaving you unable to fight back or to do anything against it. His skin was warm, annoyingly warm against yours and to you this simple fact was so incredibly weird. How could a cold-blooded freak have such soft, warm hands?

He guides your hand downwards, freeing him from the deadly trap of the blade. It was almost like you were possessed, stunned, unable to do anything against his will.

You don't want to put the blade down. But eventually, you do.

You look at him, unable to mask your surprise anymore. Considering the smile on his lips, you could imagine that it was so obvious to both of you that even from underneath a death blade, Hyunjin will always have the upper hand.

His other hand flies to your cheek, while he leans in to your left. You have been this close to him countless times. So why, why was this... different?

Why was your heart beating faster?

He lets out a soft breath, tingling the skin of your ear and making you shiver embarrassingly from head to toe. You could have slit his throat. But now he's going to be the one ripping the heart out of your chest.

For the first time ever, you fall at peace with giving in. You fall at peace with giving into Hyunjin.

"That no one would be able to hear you either, love."

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hailene · 2 years

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pls ur insanely good at writing 😭💔 cant wait for last part of gold!!!

djfjdkfnskfjkfjfsk THANK YOU SO MUCH *cries* it really means a lot to me:( <3 also thank you for being excited about gold!^^

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hailene · 2 years

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Hi! May I be added to the tag list for gold?

Hii! Sure thing! ^^

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hailene · 2 years

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^requests open^

hiii I just wanted to say that if you guys have any requests for kpop fics/drabbles of (mostly?) any type, you can send them to me! I haven't done many request so far so I wouldn't be able to tell you what I'm comfortable with writing and what not, but I will definitely give it a try!

I write mostly about Seventeen, NCT, Stray Kids, The Boyz, Enhypen and Itzy! (I'm also an orbit but I've only written about Yves so far so I can't really include the whole Loona here)

Waiting for your requests! <3

#kpop #fanfiction #angst #drabble #fluff #nct #enhypen imagines #request #stray kids #seventeen #enhypen #itzy #mtl #loona #kpop x reader #kpop scenarios #kpop angst

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hailene · 2 years

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𝒢oldₗₕₛ |𝚙𝚊𝚛𝚝 𝙸𝙸|

[Will you break the rules with me?]

masterlist | wc: 4.3K | tw: very suggestive

❏

"How do we fake it?"

Heeseung turns towards you confused, throwing his water of bottle back in his bag.

"How do we fake what?" He asks and you sigh.

"Chemistry," you explain and he blinks with a neutral expression. "Love or whatever."

The truth is that you felt uneasy talking to Heeseung about this. Especially because you felt like faking it might actually make it come true eventually. And you were terrified of the mere idea.

"Do you think we need to fake it?" He asks and you frown.

"Well we obviously don't have it," you mutter. "Do you have any other suggestions?"

The boy shrugs.

"Let's practice some more," he says simply, getting into his position.

The frustration during the next few hours was beyond obvious to the both of you. You were probably among the most skilled trainees in the country, yet you couldn't manage to add the final drop of magic to your performance: feelings. It was weird, because technically you truly felt like you could do it, looking in love, but you were afraid that having a taste of it might make you addicted. Professor Kim had no idea when she said all those things, no idea how unable you were to break the rules just this once.

As you prepare to finish the routine once more, you feel a hand sneaking up to your cheek, keeping you softly steady in your place. You turn towards Heeseung and you notice the light frown on his face. The move was part of the choreography, but in a more swift and delicate version. Now it was all screwed already, you lost the beat count and the final steps, but Heeseung was not moving from his spot.

"What are yo–"

"Look at me," he says lowly, cupping your face with both of his hands, pulling you closer gently.

You do so, unable to fight back this time. You couldn't quite understand what he was searching for while staring into your eyes, but you were sure he found it all considering how naked you felt in that moment in front of him. This had happened before, you had a whole couple choreography to perform together. Why were such things flustering you?

"Heeseung, what are you doing?" your voice betraying your anxiety and the spark of hope that he was not going to push your limits in ways you weren't ready to let him to.

"Aren't you tired of practicing in vain?" He whines in a soft whisper. "You heard professor Kim, we can... break the rules, if that's what it takes..."

His eyes flicker to your lips and you feel your head spinning. This is not what should be happening, you only have to try harder, you only need to practice more. Lee Heeseung is a jerk, an arrogant idiot, a stupid playboy, a–

"Will you break the rules with me?" he asks, looking into your eyes.

Guilty pleasure, the taste you must not have.

You feel his breath fanning over your face, the two of you having gotten closer without even being aware of it. The speakers were long silent and all that could be heard in that stupid practice room were your shallow breaths.

"Am I interrupting something?"

You feel as if a cold shower hits you, stepping back and escaping from Heeseung's gentle touch. You frown lightly, realizing only then just how close you had been to him, how close you had been to stepping over your boundaries towards a forbidden realm.

"No," you breathe, unable to rip your eyes away from the dumbfounded boy in front of you.

Even surprise looks good on him.

You eventually manage to turn towards your friend, trying to smile as genuinely as possible. Sunghoon seemed incredulous and you knew a war fire would ignite soon unless you step in between them.

"We were practicing," you say, rushing to your bag. "But we are done for today anyway."

You gather your stuff in no time and hop the bag on your shoulder, turning towards Heeseung in an attempt to make the situation less awkward. It was the first time you felt guilty towards him, it was the first time he was looking at you with some sort of genuine emotion that was not rage.

Stay.

You couldn't. Not anymore.

"See you," you speak, trying to keep your calm, before turning towards your best-friend. "Let's go."

"What was that?" Sunghoon asks as you were heading towards the dorms.

You shake your head, not really eager to explain the whole situation to your friend. It was weird even to you and some parts couldn't even be explained.

"Just... practice," you say, but your voice comes out so unsure.

"Practice?" Sunghoon almost laughs. "What were you practicing?"

"Chemistry," you sigh, hoping it doesn't sound as bad as you think.

You turn towards Sunghoon and notice the light frown on his face. You're messing up, you're messing up big time.

"Remember how I told you professor Kim would evaluate us today?" You ask and he nods. "She did. And she said that's the only thing we're lacking."

"And you decided to practice that?" Sunghoon scoffs. "How can you even do it?"

"I don't know, okay?" You whine. "She said we should do whatever it takes to fix it."

"You were about to kiss, Yun," your friend hisses and you feel a suffocating guilt strait-lacing your chest.

"I... if that's what it takes..."

Sunghoon stops in his tracks and you turn towards him, confused. He was looking at you with a weird glint in his eyes. Disappointment. You've never seen that in his gaze when directed to you. But it was worse than what your imagination could've mustered to expect.

"Sunghoon, I–"

"Are you really selling yourself like that just for the sake of a performance?" He asks and you feel a light frown appearing on your face.

That's what you signed up to.

"We're trainees, Hoon, this is what we'll have to do our whole lives–"

"That doesn't make it any less wrong," he says with a tint of despair and some of the people in the lobby turn to look at you confused. "Especially with him, Yun, you know he's trouble."

"What do you want me to do?" You ask, trying to keep your tone low. "That's what the director decided, that's what professor Kim decided too... we are professionals, we shouldn't care about such things."

Sunghoon looks at you without saying anything, which is even worse than having him scold you.

"Right," he sigh, stepping towards you wearily. "Have fun falling."

He averts his gaze, the only sign you had that it hurt him almost as much as it hurt you.

"But don't come to me when he breaks your heart," he says softly before passing by you and heading towards the dorms alone.

You can't even bring yourself to turn around to follow him or to even call out his name, words stuck in your throat beneath a river of tears, ready to spill. There is a certain type of heartbreak that no song you've ever practiced to talks about: the friendship heartbreak.

You hated that no one had warned you it would hurt this much.

You spent the whole day before the performance in solo vocal training and in the clothing department of your company, waiting for the staff to find the perfect outfit for you for the next day. You didn't get to meet up with Heeseung for practice at all and if you were honest, it was stressing you out. You hadn't talked to him after you left the practice with Sunghoon the other day and you were afraid you'd be even more awkward with each other after that almost-kiss.

A bit after midnight, you decided to go to the practice room, since you couldn't sleep anyway. Most of your roommates were already in the dorm, sleeping, like most of the trainees and rookies of the company. It wasn't comeback season, nor was the monthly evaluation close, so it was quite peaceful for a while.

As soon as you reach the practice room, you realize it isn't empty, as you hoped it would be. There was music coming from inside.

Some very familiar music.

You enter the room hesitantly, diving into the loudness of your song. You turn towards the boy who was oblivious to your arrival, consumed, mind, body and soul, by his rehearsal.

The song ends soon enough and Heeseung stays still in his final position, staring at a random point on the floor, as his posture let him. You couldn't tear your eyes away from him, partly because it was the first time watching him dance to that with so much despair, but also because you felt somehow guilty.

"I'm sorry," you say softly, not knowing what you're sorry for exactly.

He flinches and turns towards you, making it clear that he really hadn't noticed your presence before you spoke. His hair was damp, stuck to the glistening skin of his neck and face. The only source of light was the a led at the back of the room, behind the boy. As much as a clear-minded version of you wouldn't have liked to admit it, he looked ethereal. There was a certain beauty about Lee Heeseung– he definitely wasn't praised for his visuals for nothing– but you felt like the way you could see him right now was personal, raw, in ways maybe no one else had the eyes to see him.

And you hated that. You hated that so much.

But it drew you in.

"Why aren't you sleeping?" Heeseung asks wearily, confusion clear in his voice.

"I could ask you the same thing," you say, putting your bag down, before stepping closer to him.

He watches you without saying anything, still panting.

"What are you sorry for?" He asks with a small frown, remembering what you said when you entered the room.

You open your mouth to reply, but close it back after a few moments. What were you sorry for?

"I..." you begin, trying to think of a good answer. "For leaving so... hastily... the other day."

His expression doesn't change, as if he didn't really care about your answer, as if he was trying to find something else in your eyes and talking to you was a simple innocent excuse for that.

"You care a lot about Park's feelings, don't you?" He asks with a tint of irony in his voice.

Not the right moment for a fight, Yun, you try to tell yourself, pressing your lips in a tight line.

"He's my best friend," you explain. "And he's been by my side through thick and thin."

Heeseung nods, averting his gaze thoughtfully. A few moment later he turns towards you again.

"Does he know that?" He asks and somehow, you feel the world around you collapsing.

"What do you mean?" You ask, your voice shaking unexpectedly.

A light smile flutters over his lips as he averts his gaze again, looking at the warm led lights on your left.

"Can you really not know what I'm talking about?"

You don't say anything, waiting for him to explain further.

"He's holding back from punching me every time he sees me at the dorm," he says. "But not because he is afraid of being kicked out."

He turns towards you again.

"He is afraid of being away from you," he concludes and you feel as if a dagger went right through your chest.

You look at him, unable to understand why he was telling you this right now. How did the conversation escalate to this? Why were you suddenly talking about Sunghoon?

"You read him wrong," you mutter and Heeseung chuckles bitterly.

"Did I?" He says softly. "We do share a dorm room, though."

"Irrelevant," you sigh and he smiles cockily.

"Do you wish it was you instead of him?" He asks and your eyes widen, taken aback by the sudden turn of the conversation.

"Lee Heeseu–"

"If you're here, we should practice," he interrupts, turning towards the speakers to play the song you were set to perform on in less than twenty-four hours.

It takes you a few moments to process the information, before you step slowly towards the center of the room, where your starting point was, deciding to just go along with him for now at least.

Despite the late hour, as soon as you started dancing with Heeseung, any trace of exhaustion disappeared. You were focusing on your moves, sure, but you didn't feel as stressed as during usual practices– it felt like the time was stopped and you were living in another dimension for a few moments, a place where life was easier and you could simply do what you liked without worrying about so many things.

"Do you still wish it was him?" He says as he traces his fingers across your leg, as the choreography was designed.

You frown at him, but your eyes meet his knowing smile.

"Of fucking course, loser," you mutter through your gritted teeth as you manage to slide on the floor.

"Should've told me before," you hear him saying. "The director asked me if I wanted to switch with Park."

You almost stop in your tracks, but your body has a mind of its own and you end up simply continuing the routine while staring at him with wide eyes.

"You're joking," you say and his smile widens as he steps closer to you, holding your hand.

"As much as you would wish, no," he says. "I'm not."

You are unable to say anything for a few moments, turning your head towards your reflection in the mirror, trying to focus on how your bodies molded so perfectly in pair to the rhythm of the song.

"Why?" You ask after a few moments, looking at the boy in the mirror. "You hate me, it would've been the perfect chance to get rid of me."

He smiles. You feel your breath getting shallower.

"Who lied to you, Yun?" He say in a soft voice, so close to a whisper.

But you could hear him so well.

His hand flies to your cheek, as the choreography led him, and it lingers there for a few moments.

"Who told you I hated you?" He asks and you feel electric shocks travelling across your body, starting from the point where the tips of his fingers were touching your skin.

Fuck.

His hand falls from your cheek as you continue the choreography. You could feel his body heat more accurately every time his arms were wrapped around your body and you were also becoming more and more aware of your breaths, trying to count them in order to calm down.

It's no use.

"You always do that," you manage to say at some point.

"What?" He asks, confused.

"You always try to deceive people when it's not working in your favour, Heeseung," you tell him, trying to convince yourself rather than trying to prove a point to him.

The final step.

The end.

For a few moments, all that can be heard in the room are your irregular breaths. Your hand is placed gently on Heeseung's arm, as the choreography was supposed to be, but none of you was looking towards your left, as you had to. Staring at each other, both of you were looking for answers that you simply knew were buried deep down in each other's soul, but you were too afraid to dig for them any other way.

"Is that what it is to you?" He asks and you regret your words immediately.

You let go of his arm and make a small step back.

"Heeseun–"

"You say I'm the liar, but let's talk about how you're skipping your medical control every week because you're afraid that once they find out how damaged your health is, they will never let you debut."

"Are you blackmailing me right now?" You ask on an incredulous tone.

"Might as well be," he says before making a big step closer to you. "We're trainees, Yun, we're preparing to be idols, are you seriously blaming me for deceiving people?"

"That's not an excu–"

"That's gonna be your job, too, don't act like a saint," he hisses lowly and you almost step back again. "I already know you're good at it, anyway, so don't worry."

"Don't you have any bit of shame?" You find yourself saying with a new-found wave of rage. "How can you take so much pride in lying to people's faces and putting on the perfect-boy mask just for your albums to be sold–"

"I'm not taking pride in that," he says, his voice louder than you had ever heard him before. "I'm only taking pride in being able to stay true to the people that I care about the most, Yun."

The room dives in a deafening silence, the only sound disturbing it being Heeseung's soft pants.

"How the fuck are you not feeling it?" He says, his voice cracking into a whisper.

No.

You turn your back to him, unable to witness the unexplainable pain in his eyes. You feel a warm hand on your shoulder and you try to shrug it away, but he turns you towards him before you can react.

"Leave me alone," you whine, trying to swallow down the lump in your throat.

"Answer me," he demands sternly.

"Heeseung–"

"Please," he says, his voice melting in some sort of hurt.

He's begging.

You stare at him with your mouth slightly agape, trying to process what exactly is going on, but you can't quite figure it out.

"What exactly do you want from me?" You try to say, but your voice cracks into a whisper.

There's a warm glint in his eyes that makes your heart feel at ease for a moment. His eyes travel swiftly on your body from head to toes, before they focus back on yours.

"All of you," he whispers.

Your mind goes blank for a few moments and you are literally unable to move. He leans in on your left, his hot breath fanning over your ear.

"Come on, Yun," he says softly. "You can feel it, you know it's there, why are you trying to shut it away?"

He pauses for a few moments, hesitantly.

"Do you think I don't see the way your body reacts to my touch when we dance?" He asks. "Do you think I don't see the way you look at me?"

He leans back the slightest bit, being only a breath away from your face. His sweet innocent eyes sparkled with the most sinful glint you've ever seen. His skin was glistening with sweat and some strands of hair were narrowing his vision.

His eyes flicker to your lips and then back to your eyes. That's the moment when you know.

You're fucked.

"Let go," he says softly. "Just this once, baby."

That's the last thing you remember before he presses his lips on yours and you lose it all completely. His lips were soft and warm against yours and his hands were travelling around your body feverishly. There was something special about making out with a person whose body you were supposed to know like the palm of your hand, because even though you pretty much knew Heeseung's angles, feeling him as he was using them on you felt different. Now you could understand. It's about all those dancers that fans speculate they must've fucked because they blend together too well. The dancers always deny it. But they're lying.

When you're this close, even for a few moments, there's no way it doesn't show.

You feel your back hitting a cold surface and you let out a small gasp, giving the boy the chance to continue with a trail of kisses down your jaw. You run your hands through his hair, desperate to pull him closer, as closer as he could get.

How the fuck have you been dancing together all this while without doing this?

"I don't know how I will ever be able to stop doing this to you," you hear Heeseung saying at some point.

"You don't have to stop," you say before you can think twice.

He looks at you and smiles breathlessly, his eyes barely open as he struggles to suck in as much air as possible. He glances somewhere behind you before looking back at you, gently turning you around to see what he was looking at before. What was supposed to be your clear reflection in the mirror was now a foggy shadow, with a few clear wet dashes and spots here and there. The mirrors were steamy and Heeseung's finger traces were way too visible on the silvery surfaces.

"Do you see that?" You hear him whispering behind you, taking your breath away. "The other day, you asked me how we should fake it. But we don't have to, Yun."

You feel his fingers on the side of your neck and you gulp as he brushes your messy hair out of your face, running his hands through it ever so gently. If you're being honest, you've always wondered how having him do that to you would feel like.

You turn around to face the boy again, who was watching you calmly, but with the brightest fire you've ever seen in his eyes.

"Let yourself feel it," he says softly. "But know I can make you feel much more if you let me."

Will you break the rules with me?

You never imagined you'd ever even think about breaking this rule with anyone, ever. But standing in front of Heeseung right now, facing the chance flash and bones, felt real and impossible to reverse. As if this was meant to flow like this and there was no use in trying to fight it back.

You lift yourself on your tiptoes to place a peck on his lips, which he captures for longer than you planned, holding you steady in place, unable to let go of his sweet-scented lips. He tasted like candy, he tasted like frizzy drinks, like teen-hood and wasted nights spent in funfairs.

The dreams you never dared to dream.

When you pull back, your heart is beating like crazy.

"A free pass," you breathe "to do whatever you want to me."

That cut the last straw between the boy and his self-control.

The thing about doing all the forbidden things with Lee Heeseung in a practice room at three in the morning was that even though you could obviously be caught by someone, you almost took pride in that. This shouldn't happen, this really shouldn't happen, but it's so addicting. His skin was hot and his hair damped, lips bruised and T-shirt almost drenched with sweat. You were so tired, but right in the moment, you felt more alive than ever.

"Good girl," you could hear him saying every time your body was unconsciously reacting to his touch the way he loved it the most.

It was all a blur, a mess of steam and shallow breaths, sweat, whimpers and whispered pleads. How many times had he done this before? How many times has he used his charms to walk to the very last edge of the rules to bend them without paying for his recklessness?

Or has he never done it before? Is insanity the only thing driving his passion right now?

"Shit," he breathes at some point, making your body shudder "I'd do you against the mirror just so you could see yourself right now."

Whatever the answer might be, for the first time ever since you came to the company, you don't care. You have always known what you wanted and you have always worked hard for it. But now you only wanted one thing.

And that was Lee Heeseung.

This is going to hurt later, this is going to hurt so bad so soon, you couldn't help but hear at the back of your brain.

But right in the moment, it didn't matter.

Laying by his side after both of you consumed all the madness that you'd had bottled up for so long felt weirdly peaceful. You couldn't bring yourself to say anything, afraid that you might ruin the moment. But Heeseung was the confident ace even in situations like these.

He lifts himself up in his elbow and looks at you with a sweet addicting smile on his lips. He brushes a strand of hair out of your face gently, analyzing your face as if he wanted to find out the answers to all the questions in the world just by reading on your skin.

You felt like his name was all that was written across your body, though.

"You can lie to me all you want," he says softly. "I won't believe you."

Then, his eyes travel down your barely-covered body, making you close your eyes, unwilling to witness that. It was the first time in years when someone was making you feel so insecure in your body image.

"Jesus, Yun, how the fuck are you so hot?" He asks with a tint of whine in his voice and you feel the need to curl up in a ball, your body shivering all the way from head to toe with every spoken word of his.

Then, he traces his fingers across naked portions of your body, ever so gently, almost feather-like. Maybe he was right back then, maybe you really hadn't been touched in too long.

That was the only plausible explanation you could find for the mess you were in the moment.

"It's dripping down your body," he whispers slowly.

His eyes move back to yours, staring deep into your soul for a few more moments before he leans in, painfully slow.

Lee Heeseung, you fucker–

"Just like gold," he says with a small smile on his lips. "You're a treasure, Yun."

Then, he lets his forehead rest against yours, closing his eyes. For a moment, for a split moment, everything feels right.

For a moment, you forget it can't be real.

"You're my golden treasure."

a/n: I've already said this but I wanted to thank you guys again for showing gold so much love, I was not expecting it at all; at some point in the middle of the process of writing gold I didn't even want to finish it anymore, it seemed pointless to me, but my best friend said yo you gotta finish this and so I did and wow, the feedback is beyond what I could have imagined– Thank you loads!❤ p.s. the third and final part of gold is coming next week^^

tags: @iwanttohitmyself @hvbitsvt

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hailene · 2 years

Text

Guys, thank you so much for all the love you've shown gold so far!!! Part 2 is coming this Friday, 29.10! <3

𝒢oldₗₕₛ |𝚙𝚊𝚛𝚝 𝙸|

[𝘓𝘰𝘷𝘦 𝘮𝘦, 𝘐 𝘥𝘢𝘳𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶.]

masterlist | wc: 3.3K

❏

"You did it wrong," you hear the boy saying for what felt like the hundredth time in the past twenty minutes.

You let out a frustrated sigh, closing your eyes in order to gather the strength to stay calm and not to lose your composure.

"I did it exactly the way you showed me," you say, almost hissing every word.

He clicks his tongue and comes a few steps closer to you, staring at the reflection of the two of you in the mirror.

"No, you didn't," he says simply, crossing his arms over his chest.

You wanted to punch him, you wanted to punch him so bad.

"Okay," you breathe. "I'll go over it by myself later, let's–"

"Later when?" Heeseung interrupts you. "We're supposed to be done with it in a few days and we're not even close to the final."

Unfortunately.

You let out a deep sigh and rub a hand over my face.

"How am I supposed to get it right when you're sitting over there criticizing every single breath I take?" You whine and he rolls his eyes.

"Do it again," he ignores you. "From the top."

You let out an exhausted groan, giving up. You were too tired to keep fighting with him. It took way too much energy.

He plays the music for you and you do your part, trying your best to get every single move right– or at least the way he showed them to you. It was past midnight and you were getting dizzier and dizzier with every single step, but you couldn't let that be seen– you knew Heeseung was going to say that you were weak and unprofessional.

"Again," you hear him saying from behind you after you finish your part.

"For fuck's sake," you scream, turning around.

Enough is enough.

He was looking at you with a clear lack of mercy in his eyes, but after all those years of training, a disappointed look– especially coming from a mere other trainee– meant nothing to you.

"Do it with me, at least," you speak. "It's a duet, we still need to be in sync and you can't just keep watching me from behind until you decide I don't suck."

He looks at you for a few minutes without saying anything, your chest heaving up and down due to the exhaustion and the screams that had just left your throat.

"Okay," is all that he says, before playing the music and getting into his position.

It takes you a second to process the fact that he didn't fight back this time. But you manage to get in your position in time. As you watch the two of you in the mirror, you realize that objectively speaking, with a little bit more practice, your stage can truly be legendary. You and Heeseung were the best dancers in your company and a lot of people were saying that you two could become the best in the industry after you'd debut.

"I have vocal training in the morning," he speaks, trying to catch his breath after you finish the routine "so I'm going back to the dorm now... you can keep practicing."

You almost laugh in his face. He had vocal training in the morning, while you had group dance practice in less than two hours.

"Okay," is all you manage to say as you watch him hopping his bag on his shoulder and preparing to leave.

"We have to finish this tonight, so you should work hard on this part," he adds before leaving.

You stare at the door for a few moments, trying to comprehend just how arrogant he could be. Then, your legs give out due to the amount of exhaustion and you feel yourself falling on the floor.

"Are you getting on well with the ace?" Sunghoon asks and you glare at him. "Okay, I guess not."

You let your head fall in your hands and let out a long sigh. Even though you could eat your full meal today, you genuinely couldn't bring yourself to. You could feel your stomach churning in pain but you felt like you would throw up if you swallowed any food.

"The choreography is not bad," you sigh. "The communication part, on the other hand..."

You shake your head.

"You're both awesome," you hear your friend speaking in front of you. "You'll do this stage together and get this over with, it's gonna be fine."

It's been a few days ever since Heeseung and you started working on the routine for that so called "legendary" stage and you were already beyond tired of the boy. The girls at the dorm were envious of you and that was even more frustrating. He's an asshole, you wanted to scream in their faces, but you'd probably only end up beaten up in a bathroom if you did that.

"Hey, by the way," Sunghoon starts speaking again. "Do you have ten minutes later? I wanna show you what I prepared for the project stage."

You raise your head to look at him, suddenly remembering the project stage. Sunghoon, like a lot of other male trainees here, were monthly preparing project stages, since the company wanted to debut seven of them in a boy group. You were sure your friend was going to make it in the final line-up because he was a hard-worker and he had a unique type of charisma that you had never quite seen before. Everybody in the company was sure that Heeseung was going to be part of the line-up. To be honest, you pretty much thought so, too.

You had to practice with Heeseung later, but you could definitely watch Sunghoon for a bit before that.

"Sure," you say and your friend smiles.

"Hoon, it's awesome!" You beam as you stare at your best-friend in awe. "Did you choreograph it by yourself?"

Sunghoon slides down against the wall and you throw his water bottle at him, which he opens and chucks down in a matter of seconds. His hair was damp, stuck to his temples and the nape of his neck. He had been practicing this for a long time, you could tell. It was no surprise, that was typical of Sunghoon.

"No, Jay helped," he breathes and you nod, since you already knew Jay was a mastermind of routines of this kind. "You know... it would be fair of you to show me your piece too, now."

You shrug, having expected this already. Fair enough, you think to yourself as you stand up. You play the song you were practicing on with Heeseung and get in your position. You had practiced it countless times, partly because you were a perfectionist, but also because Heeseung's nagging was absolutely horrible and you hated it and him with your whole might. At this point, your body was moving as if it had a mind of its own, flowing graciously and emphasizing the moves on the beats.

When the song finishes, you stare at your reflection in the mirror, pretty much pleased with the outcome. Your chest was heaving up and down, but there was a wicked grin on your face that you didn't quite know where it came from either.

"Holy shit," you hear your friend behind you, reminding you that you weren't alone in the practice room. "Yun, that's... that's... wow."

You can't help but smile, brushing the hair out of your face. Sunghoon's genuine praises were pretty rare, that's why they fed your ego really well.

"Good," you breathe, sliding down on the wall next to him, after taking your water bottle.

You feel your friend's gaze on you as you gulp down your water.

"It would've been so cool if we could have done it together," you sigh, closing the lid of your bottle. "We have been practicing together ever since..."

"The beginning," Sunghoon finishes for you and you nod. "It's alright, Yunie, they wouldn't be able to handle us anyway."

You feel a hot shiver crossing your body at the sound of the nickname Sunghoon used to call you when you had just met. You let yourself slide further, placing your head on your friend's shoulder. For a few moments, your soft breaths were everything that could be heard in the room. You felt a familiar type of dizziness choking you. It was never easy, but excellence came with sacrifices. All the time.

"God, how I wish it was you," you sigh with your eyes closed.

You feel his arm shifting and you lift your head the slightest bit, just enough for him to wrap his arm around your back and pull you to his chest. Even though he was sweaty, his minty scent was still tingling your nostrils familiarly. You snuggled up closer to him, trying to make yourself comfortable. You used to do it all the time in your first year— mere kids trying to find a sense of home in something, but ended up finding it in somebody. Just for a few minutes, you could go back to that feeling, even though you weren't kids anymore. But just for a few minutes, you could forget tha—

"Had a blank space on your list of conquests, Park?"

You sigh deeply before opening your eyes and heaving yourself up in order to face your beloved partner. You stand up, untying your hair in order to put it in a tighter pony tail.

"That's why we can't have pretty things," you mutter as Heeseung throws his bag on the sofa across the dance room.

You throw an apologetic look towards Sunghoon, who only gives you a smile, signaling that such words can't get to him.

"Or have you not been touched for too long, Yunie?" Heeseung continues and your head snaps towards him at the same time as Sunghoon stands up with his fists clenched.

"Ah, loverboy is mad now," Heeseung chuckles to himself and you feel rage rising in you.

"You talk too much crap, Heeseung," Sunghoon says, trying his best to maintain his calm.

"At least I'm not desperate," the boy shrugs nonchalantly.

You dart towards Sunghoon before he can throw himself at Heeseung, wrapping your arms around his body. The rules of the company were strict when it came to violence between trainees and one wrong step could make everything your friend had worked for so hard all these years go to waste. You couldn't let that happen.

You bury your face in his chest, clinging to the fabric of his T-shirt in hopes that he would let it go as he lets it go when it's only about him.

"It's not worth it," you whisper. "He's not worth it."

You let him go as you feel his muscles relaxing. You look at him, the softer light on his face taking you aback. You turn your head to look at Heeseung, who had a staring contest with your friend.

"Go," you say to Sunghoon, hoping to get rid of the tension in the room. "I'll catch up with you later."

Sunghoon looks at you as if asking you if you were truly going to be alright with a jerk like Lee Heeseung. You nodded the slightest bit, making the boy let out a deep sigh. He takes his bag and throws Heeseung another glare before leaving the room. You exhale deeply, turning towards your partner with your arms crossed over your chest.

"What?" He asks, expressionless.

You could almost feel tears of frustration gathering up in your eyes. He is going to debut and he's going to have so many fans, so many poor souls will be tricked to fall in love with him because they won't have the chance to know how big of a jerk Lee Heeseung is behind the cameras.

"Nothing," is all you say before brushing past him in order to get in your position. "Let's practice."

Rehearsal went smoother than usual and you liked to believe it was because Heeseung sensed your rage and he was afraid that you might burst. But deep down, you knew it wasn't that.

He was never scared of anything.

The more you went through the final details of the performance and through the choreography itself with full-energy, the closer you felt to collapsing. You couldn't dare to even think about asking Heeseung to stop, you just didn't want to deal with whatever complaints he might have for that. Trainees feel sick pretty often, that's no reason for them to stop.

"I thought we were practicing a full-energy version," you hear the boy muttering at some point. "You dance like you're fucking dead."

You let out a deep sigh, letting yourself fall on your knees after you grab your water bottle. You take a few sips of liquid from it, hoping it would make up for the lack of food from your stomach.

"Okay," you exhale with your eyes closed, before forcing yourself to stand up again. "Let's do it again."

"No, wait," Heeseung says and you turn towards him confused. "Are you gonna dance for real this time or am I wasting my energy again?"

You roll your eyes.

"I'll do my best," you say.

"Yeah? Well that's what you have been saying for the past two hours as well," he says on an annoyed tone and you clench your fists.

Not now.

"Let's just do it," you sigh. "Please."

"No, I don't want to," Heeseung says. "You're wasting my time."

You look at him, waiting for whatever his next lines might be. Because you felt like they might be final.

"I can't believe I was paired up with you, you're literally—"

That was the last thing you heard before you blacked out.

The first thing you notice when you open your eyes again is the familiar bottom of the bunk bed on top of yours. You were in your dorm, but you had no idea how you got here in the first place. Or what day it was, as a matter of fact.

You turn your head to the side, only to be met with Heeseung's sleepy figure dozed off on a chair next to your bed. The faint natural light was making his traits discernible, not that you wouldn't have known them well enough. Nobody else seemed to be in the dorm, though. Was it morning?

You heave yourself up, feeling your head throbbing. You hiss as you feel your whole body hurting, making it almost impossible for you to move.

"Are you fucking stupid?"

You turn your head towards Heeseung, who was looking at you with a light frown on his face. His voice was still raspy due to his sleepy state. It was weird to see the ace Lee Heeseung in such a disheleved state. But it was also interesting. It made him look more... human.

"Don't get up, I'll bring you some medicine," he sighs, standing up and heading towards the desk near the windows.

You let yourself fall against the mattress, closing your eyes. It happened. The thing you hoped would never happen happened. You fainted while there was someone else there with you.

The boy brings you a warm drink that you were already accustomed to, since you were always drinking that when you felt sick. Heeseung watches you as you gulp it down slowly, but you were too exhausted, both mentally and physically, to care.

"How many times?" You hear him asking and you turn towards him confused. "How many times has this happened before?"

You avert your gaze because you were genuinely embarrassed of the truth.

Heeseung sighs.

"How did you know?" You ask and he scoffs.

"How did I know?" He says, his tone slightly threatening. "Do you know how I knew? You fainted in the practice room while I was talking to you so I carried you to the nurse's office, who told me you were highly underfed and that she had no idea how you managed to practice all day yesterday."

You look at him in disbelief as he breathes heavily after his enraged speech.

"I knew you were stupid, but I didn't know you could go this far," he continues, in a lower tone. "Why didn't you tell me?"

It's your turn to scoff.

"Why didn't I tell you?" You almost laugh. "I gave my fucking heart for this little performance of yours and you had something to comment on every single fucking time, Heeseung. Not even once have you told me that it's okay, you kept saying that I needed to practice more. What did you want me to tell you? Hey by the way, I skipped my full meal day because I was tired as fuck because I practiced your stupid choreography by myself the whole night and couldn't bring myself to eat proper food so I will probably faint real soon? Is that what you wanted me to tell you?"

Your body was aching and your head was throbbing but the rage was too intense to care about any of those. Heeseung was staring at you, slightly taken aback. The surprise in his eyes, however, doesn't last for too long. He averts his gaze and presses his lips in a tight line.

"You should get some more sleep," he says slowly. "I'll be here with food when you wake up."

You couldn't bring yourself to fight back to that. You simply turned around in your bed and as soon as you heard the door of your room closing, you let the tears spill.

You had two more days until the stage performance. It was already speculated on SNS and a lot of people were excited to see two top trainees in a stage as a duo at the music show. You and Heeseung have been neutral with each other ever since you fainted during practice, but he did make sure you had a proper meal daily. You haven't told him yet, but deep down, you were thankful.

Today, professor Kim was supervising you two in order to give you the final tips and feedback for the official performance. Now, the two of you were looking expectantly at the woman between you and the mirror, who had her eyes narrowed at you.

"I am surprised," she says with a small smile on her lips.

Both Heeseung and you look at her confused, wondering if it was a good or a bad thing.

"As expected, the routine is flawless, your bodies move beautifully to the rhythm," she points out and you both nod your heads in a humble gratitude. "However."

Your eyebrows arch in surprise, wondering what she might have to add. The two of you were still panting, your breaths still shallow after demonstrating the choreography.

"Your performance is lacking chemistry," she says, her smile widening. "Your performance is lacking that special type of passion."

You blink a few times, not able to fully process what she was talking about.

"I know you have that in you, both of you," professor Kim speaks. "You just need to unleash that, your performance desperately needs it."

Then, she steps closer to you, looking from Heeseung to you with a suggestive glint in her eyes. Deep down, you were somehow expecting the performance to lack something. You didn't feel like it was perfect and you could tell neither did Heeseung. But you hadn't been able to pinpoint what that could have been. You knew now. But somehow, you didn't really want to know anymore.

"You're not kids anymore," she says softly. "Do whatever it takes to discover your chemistry, for the sake of your performance."

You almost step back, genuinely anxious about her suggestions. She was right. But completing this task felt impossible.

She grins sweetly.

"Break the rules, it doesn't matter," she adds. "Just look in love."

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hailene · 3 years

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hi just letting you know i absolutely adore your writing and loved the first chapter of gold <3 stay safe and healthy! :D

hiiii thank you so much! This made my day! ^-^ also I'm glad you enjoyed the first part of gold, I hope you'll like the next ones too<3

Take care of yourself *hugs*