Best short gin jokes, puns and quotes - let the fun be-gin
Best short gin jokes, puns and quotes â let the fun be-gin
Too much gin can make you tearful â so hereâs an antidote. Some lovely gin jokes and one-liners to read and share while youâre enjoying an ice cold G&T.
Brought to you by York Gin
Donât cry over spilt milk â it could have been gin.
If at first you donât succeed, try, try a gin.
Whatâs the sophisticated drinkerâs favourite Xmas carol?
Gin-gle bells, gin-gle bells âŚ.
âTrust me you can dance.â
â Gin
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Can we just all stop being so angry?
Thereâs so much anger around isnât there?Â
Which is weird because most of us are nice and comfortable. So youâd expect us to be nice and relaxed.Â
For example, Iâve just eaten some lovely treacle sponge and custard. This is well known comfort food.Â
And I even know people who can pay more than the minimum payment on their credit card! Austerity my arse.Â
So why is there so much anger out there?âŚ
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Compassion therapy in action - an Eggs Benedict Cumberbatch meditationÂ
Compassion therapy in action â an Eggs Benedict Cumberbatch meditationÂ
I feel sorry for people called Benedict because, when someone offers them eggs â followed by their moniker â they may not know if theyâre being offered the specific dish or a more generic yolk/albumen-based delicacy.Â
âEggs, Benedict?â
âEggs Benedict?â
One way to avoid confusion would be to repeat the word Benedict â if the person is offering the specific dish.Â
âEggs Benedict, Benedict?â
Anyway.Â
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Best puns about Donald Trump and truth
Here are seven of the best puns about Donald Trumpâs weird relationship to the truth.Â
What is Trumpâs favourite resting position?Â
Lying.Â
What is Trumpâs favourite stringed instrument?Â
The lyre.Â
What are Trumpâs favourite parasitic insects?Â
Lice.
What four-letter anagram of a wild animalâs living place best describes Trump?
Lair.Â
Whatâs Trumpâs favourite method of setting German Romantic poemsâŚ
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Why February is the best month
As part of my therapy, I have to do a âglass half fullâ exercise.
So here are eight reasons why February is my favourite month â despite it officially being the worst month of the year.Â
1. Youâve given up on all your New Yearâs Resolutions by now. So you can drink, smoke, take drugs, eat fatty foods, swear, get into fights, sit around doing no exercise, etc without feeling like a completeâŚ
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Do something lovely for yourself this Valentines Day
Do something lovely for yourself this Valentines Day
This Valentines Day, why not do something good for yourself â instead of swallowing the marketing bullshit whole?
Love is in the air
Thereâs an adage that says you canât love someone else until you love yourself.
But this adage says nothing about being obsessed or dependent or hopelessly devoted to someone else before you love yourself, does it?
And look around â there are so many dysfunctionalâŚ
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What to do if the internet dies
Many of us rely on the internet. Sometimes we even do something useful with it, like sharing cupcake recipes and telling strangers why their opinions about Brexit and Trump are stupid.Â
But have you thought what youâd do if the internet died?Â
There are various technical things that could go wrong with the internet. These are too technical for this article. And some outside scientific eventsâŚ
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