sophiathesailor

[sophiathesailor]

Insanity

He very nearly loved me

I said love me always

I wanted him to love me

She said come back to me

She wanted him to stay safe

Inside the insanity of his other life

He very nearly loved me

Nearly threw away the key

Locked inside the insanity with me

But he didn’t love me

Kept the key for his sanity

Left me locked inside

My insanity of life without him

Walked away and threw away the key

#poetry #poetsandwriters #heartbreak #poetscommunity #lifeofasailor #love #poetsoftumblr #sailorslife #soulofasailor #brokenhearted #poetsworld #madness #poeticstories #sailorslove #poets of tumblr #femalepoets #lovepoem #sailor #blueeyedboy

[sophiathesailor]

Erasure

The love you feel so deep

One day will be buried

So far beneath the dirt of feelings

That only dreams touch on

Leaving you dazed and curious

As to whether it was real

Or just a fantasy of your mind

Your body shivers from the echo

Of the pleasure felt before from

Fingers caressing your body

Yet when you seek the memory

Only emptiness and darkness responds

The tantalising taste of desire

Has slipped from your reality

Leaving behind only crushed emptiness

Yet how can you be sad

When the memories no longer exist

And the man you loved

You wouldn’t remember

Even if he came and promised you

The world you always dreamed of

Erasure the only way to live

Otherwise those who love you

Would be burying your body

Under the dirt of reality

For only death could contain

The knowledge of you

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[sophiathesailor]

I want to die

I am nothing

My future does not exist

For it is empty

Your life is full of love

Your family is your future

I’m so tired of trying to fill this emptiness

Exhausted of being on my own

My life is a prison of nothing

I cannot bear to exist

My days are spent in pain

Yet I cannot find a way to die

Sleep is my only escape

Yet when I wake I still exist

I want to die soon

Yet I’m scared to kill myself

I beg to die young

Yet who listens when you are alone

#despair #poetsandwriters #poetry #heartbreak #poetscommunity #sailorslife #poetryportal #poeticstories

[sophiathesailor]

Flatlining

You look at me and I know I’m your world

Your laughter makes my heart beat

Our joy together makes all else fade

Our story is madness throughout

Yet together unbreakable

But the days pass by till the madness fades

Leaving each other breaks the heart

Erratic beats pains my body

Emptiness is my life only

Your contact like a drip of rain through a drought

This reality my world to bear

I feel nothing anymore the beat is dead

My heart flatlines yet I am still alive

This living hell bedevils my being

I am nothing yet I cannot pass

Through to the world where peace is given

Allow me my dignity let me pass

My heart is gone forever

Flatlining always without him

My world my being my always

#poetry #poetsandwriters #heartbreak #poetscommunity #sailorslife #poetryportal #poeticstories #spilled poetry #poeticwhispers #poetic #blueeyedboy

[sophiathesailor]

Future past and present

You’re not my future

Yet you tell me how you love me always

You’re not my past

Yet you haunt my footsteps with your memories

You’re not my present

Yet I cannot disentangle my heart

My life is weaved around yours

However far I am from you

I’m with you yet never there

Our fantasies fuel our blood with fire

I cannot take a breathe without feeling you

Erasing you is impossible

Living without you hell

What is this life if not with you

Every night my spirit roams freely

Finding you in my dreams

Passion ours in the twilight of delusion

My body mind and spirit yours

My future past and present only mine

#poetry #poetsandwriters #heartbreak #poetscommunity #sailorslife #poetryportal #poeticstories #books and libraries #spilled poetry #poeticwhispers #female poets

[sophiathesailor]

Rescue

Will there be any rescue

From this pit of self destruction

Each day I try and lie a little more

A fleeting message of hope

Crashes down like the waves

Of my happiness dashed on

Rocks of hurt and pain

I have no more tears to cry

I’m broken through your lies

Future such a broken mess

There is no future only the past

Once there was joy so bright

Now shades of black encroach

Smother me drowning out

All I ever was

There is no future me

This is me forever more

Broken ashamed and lost

The lies my raft to cling onto

Melt beneath me to the depth

So dark and never ending

#poetry #poetsandwriters #heartbreak #poetscommunity #sailorslife #poetryportal #poeticstories #spilled poetry #poeticwhispers #poetsportal

[sophiathesailor]

The Song

Solitary note enchants it’s spell upon me

Spirit lifts on the memory so deep

I can feel your caress on my skin

See your lips singing your lullaby

Watch my body rise to your tune

Cold brushes on my cheeks

Eyes focus on reality so cruel

I’m here yet you’re gone

These memories echo and haunt me

I chase your ghost forever

Wake and you’re not there

In my fantasy you’re with me always

Fantasy reality memories entwine

Truth is lost in blurred madness

You’re my addiction forever more

#poetry #poetsandwriters #heartbreak #poetscommunity #sailorslife #poetryportal #poeticstories #poeticwhispers #spilled poetry #spilled tears #spilled ink #female poets #poets corner #poets on tumblr

[sophiathesailor]

Empty

The joy one must feel picturing their lives

Future laid out with family abundant

Children growing and loving

Age matures emotions felt so deeply

Yet picture an alternative reality

Life devoid of family

A whisper echoed in your mind forever

You are not worthy of love

Everything you find will never be enough

You capture hearts yet not souls

Eyes worship you yet never pray

For a life with you

Your life is but a passing thought

There is no purpose or destiny

You wander and seek joy

Temporary highs leave you sated

Crashing down reaffirms you’re alone

The future I see is darkness

I run towards her seeking respite

Mockingly she lengthens her void

I’m falling downwards forever

This life’s torturous journey

#poetry #poetsandwriters #heartbreak #poetscommunity #sailorslife #poeticstories #poeticwhispers #spilled poetry #spilled tears #spilled ink #female poets #poets on tumblr #poetryportal #darkness #death

[sophiathesailor]

My Gypsy Soul

Wandering feet nudge your warm body

Arms so strong wrap around

Hold me deep in their calming embrace

Adventures dance around the lullaby

Stroking my restless heart with pleasure

The ride goes up so high

Dazzling my world with a bouquet of colour

Soaring with the the eagles

Eyes large in awe

I never want to descend to the grey below

Bolts of decadence shock my reality

Unable to breathe I savour the tsunami

Gazing out I see you next to me

Entranced by your beauty I entwine you

The water gently laps around our bodies

Awakening from our dream

My gypsy soul is soothed

The memories live in me forever

Your lullaby my pleasure derived

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[sophiathesailor]

Masked in Silence

Those who once were innocent

Lost their naivety on fields of blood

Words cleverly whispered over discontent

Led to minds tainted by hate

Driving sanity to the edges of hell

A man shattered the world through fear

Yet it was us who played his game

Following the feet of so many

Why did no one stop

The world awoke and the price was paid

Screams do not convey the loss

Felt by all yet buried forever

Freedom an exquisite taste

Built on the bones of our kin

Yet now that taste has turned sour

The feet do once again follow

The path of one voice

Insanity the new normality

The voices of millions masked in silence

Our eyes scream in fear

When will we be brave again

To fight for our priceless freedom

In the shadows the truth is hidden

Blinded by the powerful

Open your eyes

Fill your lungs with truth

Shout with one voice

Free yourselves from fear

Live the life so many lives gave theirs for

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[sophiathesailor]

Echoes

Echoes fade over the canyons of time

Whispers carry my broken heart

The beat of monotonous reality

Overpowers the faint notes of my weak cry

The brightness of your eyes

Held so preciously in my dark mind

Stop the shadows from drowning me

In their darkness and twisted embrace

My path is blurred and vast

Or is it my eyes that cannot see

Blinded by all that you were

Loving so deeply brushes the loneliness

Gently on my absorbent skin

Soaking through all that I am

Bare before you I seem pure

Yet peer in my eyes and you’ll see the emptiness

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[sophiathesailor]

Burning

This passion has me tearing up

Together furiously riding and killing the miles

Yet still we do not find the way

Throttle back I’m racing along

Burning the fuel inside me

One spark and I’ll be gone

Driving each other past the point

Of no return for this love

Chasing the comet streaming past

Rubber imprinted on the miles I leave behind

Running always from it all

Our journey entwined but on different roads

I’m a gas tank running on half a life

Throttle back I’m racing along

Burning the fuel inside me

One spark and I’ll be gone

Flashing in its burning aura

Promising a cure to this maddening ride

We chase the dream like impassioned fools

Our love for each other radiates power sublime

Sparks do light the fires of our worst sides

Love turns to cruel words spat out

Throttle back I’m running away from them

Burning the fuel inside me

One spark and I’ll be gone

Chasing the cure to our curse

Catch the comet which will burn out our love

Briefest second and our eyes do meet

Everlasting moment in my mind

Before the spark burns us whole

My powers gone I awake from this dream

My life with him but a fantasy

No need to run anymore

I’m empty to the core

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[sophiathesailor]

Your forgotten world

There was always a gap

A part was missing

The ache of yearning

For someone not yet known

Satisfaction alluding me fully

Life played a game on me

Hide and seek with my love

Chewed me up and spat me out

Told me I was unworthy and alone

Flawed and unloveable

Reset the playing board

Made my first move boldly

Strumming my heart to my own rhythm

Bold and brave shining for all to see

Then you saw me

But you hadn’t waited for me

Ignored the unsaid whisper

That I was your forever

You took me when you couldn’t have me

The truth dawned when my adoration encompassed you

Now you’re cursed to know that I was meant for you

Too late the pain has taken root

When your world is with you the angels sing

Yet that final farewell

When he leaves for his world

Because you’re not part of it

Sickening punch I cannot recover from

Truly now I am unloveable

For who would love one

Who can never love you back

#poetry #heartbreak #sailorslife #lifeofasailor #sailorslove #poeticstories #poetsandwriters #poetscommunity #love #hate #poets of tumblr #spilled poetry #spilled ink #spilled tears #poeticwhispers #female poets #poets corner

[sophiathesailor]

Darkness

The edges of my world are black

Threatening to encompass and overpower

My present haunted by my past

Focusing on the simple delights

I endeavour to shut out the pain

Dark tendrils from the outside

Creep in and choke me when I am weak

I can’t breathe as they taint my soul

Escape is but temporary

Each day the blackness creeps in further

The joyful colours in life I once saw

Fade further becoming but a dream

Of a time when life was pure and innocent

I was not made for this world

Protected always I am now exposed

They left me here to drown

The blackness becomes my reality

In the depths of her darkness

I will either lose my soul

Or gain my life

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[sophiathesailor]

The Sailor’s Life

The life of two halves

Essence of both should spell perfection

Yet craving for one overrides all else

The sea chants a call I cannot refuse

Eerie echo to my soul resonating

I feel my bones pulling to her

My life without her empty

Bid farewell to the family I love

Yet to love and live wholly with

Is a life I cannot be whole

My soul pulls me to the sea

Her wild beauty calms my torment

Like the mistress I cannot part from

Yet will never commit too

The call of both tears me apart

Life with one breathes death to the other

Without both I’m but a shell of a man

Tears aplenty reign ashore

Fickle reality reigns onboard

Never contented always searching

This life of two halves always breaking

Till the day I choose to be

A sailor forever always haunted

Or a family forever yet always lonely

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[sophiathesailor]

Foolish Dream

Stories skipping through my mind in pictures

I see the children I will never have

Remember the pleasure of innocence

The life imagined when I was a child

Princess finding her prince

Adored and loved

Proud family sharing the beauty of life

A powerful storm crashes through

Destroying this world in my head

Left behind I’m alone and broken

Destitute and unwanted

I see only destruction and hurt

My world skips forward

Everything I touch turns into pain

People hide from my toxicity

Children allude me

Those I love die or run

I chase and beg for love

Not clever enough

To understand the darkness

Eating away at my soul

See them standing on the edges

Jeering and laughing at my pain

Trust nobody I chant in my head

Yet I never learn

Still dreaming for that hand

To reach out and save me

When I fast forward to my end chapter

I don’t need to read it

For there is nothing there

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[sophiathesailor]

Craving

My overarching craving

Crying for your caress

Yet you are not here

Paltry games I play

To satisfy the empty cavern

They play to my tune

I dance pitifully to yours

Fuelling myself on their desire

I unleash my yearning on you

You use me like a battery

Empty I retreat to my empty shell

Pull in those who give their all

Use their pathetic love

Fuel my barren soul

Grant you my all

Never enough

You’ll make me die

I’ll scar those I leave behind

And all along

You won’t feel a thing

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