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yeetlegay · 2 years

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Kinn’s voice in episode 5: Kinn, respectfully, go to therapy

Izzy back with another vocal analysis, this one ft. the many tears I shed over having to rewatch Porsche go through it multiple times, all for you guys. I didn’t have as much time this week to write my thoughts out, so I’ve tried to keep this post short and snappy as much as possible.

So let’s jump right in!

The morning after scene.

What strikes me most about Kinn’s voice in this scene is how well he balances a tone that’s calm/controlled without the infusion of authority that usually comes with that control. Kinn has already created distance between them, begun to redraw the line that was all but crossed out the previous night, but he’s not quite ready to let go of the vulnerability he felt with Porsche. Even with the edge of aloofness in his voice, there’s still tenderness there, concern, guilt. He’s torn between speaking as a boss to an employee, and speaking as a lover, as an equal. There’s a moment when this conflict cracks his voice open a little as he asks if Porsche is okay, even repeating himself when the question goes unanswered. It’s not quite an opening for a further expression of intimacy, if that makes sense, but it’s something close. And with Porsche’s response, his need to be alone, Kinn has his confirmation that Porsche doesn’t want that intimacy, not from him. He pulls his voice back into that control, and by the time he leaves the room, the line is halfway drawn again.

The chess scene.

I think this is one of my favorite scenes in the entire episode, for a number of reasons. The cinematography, the writing, the direction, the extended chess metaphor, the way Kinn’s chair is bathed in light from the upper right corner while Korn’s chair is cast in shadow. But Kinn’s voice here is unique as well.

We haven’t actually seen him alone with his father that much, even though it often feels like Korn is ever-present. This is the first time Kinn has really faced his father directly, sat opposite him for a serious conversation. His voice immediately gives away a lot.

Even in the first episode, we only got hints at how Kinn’s attitude and mannerisms shift around his dad. (That little questioning “Pa?” after Porsche leaves at the end of episode 1 still sticks in my mind.) Kinn here feels, above all, young. His voice is softer, with an edge of pleading in it, even a bit of a whine. He’s speaking as a child to a father, and it shows how desperate he is for his father’s approval, how much he craves his trust and love and respect.

When his father expresses even mild disapproval at his favoritism toward Porsche, Kinn protests, but in an extremely non-confrontational way, more like a kid begging a parent not to make them do something than the controlled, powerful mafia prince he plays in front of others. Kinn’s soft, lighter, more youthful voice shows that even if he may be the face of the empire now, Korn is still calling the shots without even having to flex any real power. Korn is the soft power behind Kinn’s hard power.

The punishment scene.

Kinn only appears briefly, but the difference between his voice here and in his previous scenes, both with his father and with Porsche, is striking. He has completely regained that iron control that he has in earlier episodes, and manages to actually infuse power and authority into his voice without it sounding forced as it did in his scenes with Porsche in episode 4.

After his conversation with Korn, Kinn not only finishes drawing the line between him and Porsche—he reinforces it. He has conviction now, purely thanks to the lightest press of his father’s hand, that he needs to put Porsche back in his place and himself back in his.

The permission scene.

[I will not talk about the ownership/possession motif, I will not talk about the ownership/possession motif, I will not talk about the ownership/possession motif.]

This interaction is brief (Kinn has what, 3 lines?) but works to contextualize Kinn’s behavior. Porsche approaches him seemingly hoping on some level that Kinn might treat him differently when they’re alone, or that maybe he regrets punishing him, or that Kinn might offer some kind of explanation or apology. (Remember, Porsche’s previous punishment—being choked—was a cover meant to protect him, so maybe on some level he hopes this punishment was for the same reason.)

But Kinn’s voice just reaffirms his commitment to this distance between them, to dismissing Porsche and putting him in his place. Porsche here is hoping for some spark of the Kinn that treated him differently, and Kinn works hard to make sure he doesn’t see it. His voice in this scene is quieter than in the previous one, but no less aloof and controlled. He’s determined to show both Porsche and himself that he doesn’t feel anything special for him, that he can and will choose his father and his role over anything else.

As an aside, I think this shows Kinn’s strategic thinking, which I mention in my first voice meta, continues to be clouded when it comes to Porsche. Korn told him to keep Porsche at a distance, but Porsche is still the queen to his king in their chess game, and by treating him this way, Kinn is driving him too far from his side. The problem is, he’s gone too deep with Porsche to extricate himself neatly while still keeping Porsche’s loyalty. Now he’s in the position of either confronting his feelings and keeping Porsche close (which his father doesn’t want) or pushing him away entirely. As @clandestinegardenias put it in her brilliant paternalism meta, Korn’s unspoken reminder in the chess scene is: “Make them love you, but never love them.” And Kinn simply has no way to do that with Porsche now.

The Where is Porsche? scene.

Again, only a few lines, and yet with the context of his earlier failed sex with that guy (let’s call him Bootleg Porsche bc we’re being real tonight), they tell us so much.

He’s been drinking, so he’s going to be a little less controlled, although a few people have noted that he’s a borderline functional alcoholic at this point. But that failed encounter with Bootleg Porsche stuck a needle right in the balloon of his conviction. He was determined to move on from Porsche, to become his old self again, but not only did that scene show him losing control (even nearly kissing Bootleg Porsche as he got caught up in memories of that night), it also showed him seeing himself in the midst of all that raw feeling. Now he knows that getting over Porsche isn’t going to be that easy or simple, and it’s frustrating, especially with Bootleg Porsche there to witness him go a little haywire and give up on having sex at all.

So Kinn’s voice in this scene already starts out of control, and it just. Keeps. Climbing. Until by the end he’s just barking at poor Pete, whose face tells us just how unnerving and unusual this kind of behavior is from Kinn. Kinn may not necessarily be a fun or forgiving boss, but he’s never needlessly harsh to his staff, and this is probably the first time Pete has really felt his wrath, completely unwarranted.

The I’m flipping my shit scene.

Yeah, so we’re all fucked up over this scene, and for good reason. I could write a whole essay about it. Every time I’ve watched it, I end up holding my breath, making weird faces, covering my mouth, just short-circuiting from the sheer tension of this scene.

The body language is fascinating, down to the literal ART of that panned-out shot when Kinn wakes and points his gun at Porsche. His voice is a little more toned-down initially from the previous scene with Pete, a clear but very strained effort to modulate and retain power, but as usual Porsche doesn’t respond to it or cower from it.

As in the previous episode, once Kinn has even the littlest crack in his armor, his voice falls apart pretty quickly when he has Porsche in front of him. His second line (”You only told me you were going to hang out with Khun.”) is almost accusatory, showcasing all of his jealousy, his worry, his fear, his sheer feeling for Porsche, even if Porsche doesn’t recognize it in the moment.

After that, he’s almost yelling, reminding Porsche the second family can’t be trusted, but there’s no real power in his voice despite the added volume. He’s not controlling it, he’s not infusing force or authority. His voice still has a softness to it that it didn’t have in, say, the punishment scene. He’s being reactive, volatile, and in doing so he levels the field between himself and Porsche and creates space for an actual dialogue, even if it’s not an especially productive one.

Porsche takes the opening, such as it is, in a roundabout way. He wants Kinn to talk about it, and the only way he can see to do that at this point is to bait him, to goad him into being even less controlled. When he implies Kinn has hurt him, Kinn’s voice immediately softens and goes lower. There’s a new vulnerability there now that Kinn’s not yelling, and combined with his eyes and searching expression, we see him have a moment of weakness, a moment where he lets himself feel all that regret, all that guilt, before he pushes it down again.

Then the line: “Don’t forget. Your life is mine.” Once again, his voice stays lower, softer, but pay attention here. The first part (”Don’t forget.”) is fairly well-controlled, clearly with effort, clearly still holding tension. But as he says the rest, his voice literally wobbles. He almost seems to have trouble saying the words. Just...I dare you to go back and watch this moment alongside its parallels in episodes 1 (when Porsche is escorted to see Kinn) and 3 (when Kinn is tending Porsche’s wound). Notice how completely unsteady his voice is here compared to those previous scenes. This is him trying desperately to snatch that control back and reposition himself over Porsche. And he’s having a hell of a time managing it.

But I haven’t even gotten to my favorite vocal moment of this scene!

It’s the moment occupying all of our brains this week, when Kinn steps forward into Porsche’s space, jaw set, eyes level. Porsche doesn’t just hold his ground; he softens infinitesimally, lowers his chin to be level with Kinn’s mouth, sways forward just a little, eyes lowering, clearly anticipating, hoping for, a kiss. Kinn breathes him in, gathers himself, and says the cruelest thing he can think of: “Starting tomorrow, Ken is going to be my head bodyguard. I’m replacing you.”

But notice the massive shift his voice undergoes in the span of a sentence. That “starting tomorrow” is said right against Porsche’s mouth, breathed out against it, almost whispered. It feels, above all, intimate. If you saw this tiny second of dialogue with no context and no translation, you might easily mistake it as a tender or passionate or sensual moment. Kinn is mentally pulling himself out of the moment, but his body is a second behind him, so that little phrase is a jumbled tangle of yearning and cruelty. But by the time he gets to the rest of the sentence, his body has caught up, and he’s already dragging his toe back to his side of the line again, leaving Porsche even more confused, hurt, and alone.

The scene where Kinn goes after Porsche.

I have very little to say about this scene except for Kinn’s very serious, very cute “okays” when Jom tells him to go get drinks, ice, and veggies. Obviously this is intended to be some slapstick and add some levity, but as soon as Kinn “takes Pete’s advice” and starts breaking every sentence in one-half rude, one-half saccharine, it turns into straight-up crack. I consider this Bargain Bin Kinn that the writers broke out to give us a laugh rather than actually add anything to his character development, so I’ll just be merrily ignoring it lol.

***

Okay, that’s this meta done! It’s still longer than planned but oh well lol. If you’d like to read my previous voice analyses, links are below, and I keep a masterpost of all metas I do pinned at the top of my blog for easy access.

Why Kinn’s voice fucks me up: a silly little analysis (episodes 1-4)

Kinn’s voice in episode 4: basically my man is losing it

Kinn’s voice in episode 6: aka Kinn’s Camp Rock “this is real, this is me” era

Kinn’s voice in episode 7: heart boners everywhere

#kinnporsche #meta #once again dropping an essay in the tag just as everyone's going to sleep

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questionablygourmet · 3 years

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Will and Hannibal: participation and transformation

An anon prompted me recently to talk about why Will fell in love with Hannibal, and I’ll rarely turn down an opportunity to wax rhapsodic about certain themes in the show, so here we go!

There’s a few key places where Will himself addresses the issue. The first one I want to mention is in Contorno, where Will says of Hannibal to Chiyoh,

We afforded each other an experience we may not otherwise have had.

The direct context of this is that they’re talking about violence and influence, but it’s true far more broadly than that, as is referenced many times over the course of Hannibal and Will talking with each other and numerous other characters - their relationship with one another is a unique experience to both of them, being known and understood and accepted in a way they’ve not otherwise encountered.

There’s a bit of commentary about this from Hugh that makes the rounds often enough that I’m not going to bother fishing up the direct quote, but to paraphrase, he says it’s like Will’s a chess master who’s never met another person in the world who plays chess, until he meets Hannibal. It’s not just about Hannibal being very intelligent, as most of the characters on the show fit that description, but Hannibal being specifically equipped to operate on not just the same level as Will does, but the same wavelength. To extend the metaphor, someone like, say, Alana doesn’t really play chess, but she’s an expert at Go. People who play chess and people who play Go might have plenty to talk about and appreciate about each other, but they’re not playing the same game, so they can’t play together, at least not equally.

This is something that we see starting to show itself even early in season 1 - Will’s initial standoffishness toward Hannibal rapidly dissipates as Hannibal shows that he’s not just another psychiatrist who wants to study Will, but someone who can understand and enjoy Will - his thoughts, his sense of humor, his company - as a whole human being and not just a “unique cocktail of personality disorders and neuroses” (thanks, Chilton). Of course this gets rather tragically undermined throughout season 2, initially by the bombshell betrayal of Will’s trust, and later as Will sees a pattern in Hannibal’s patient history via Randall Tier and Margot Verger, but even through Will’s seething anger and distrust, the dynamic persists. Even when they’re at odds, they speak the same language and connect to one another to an elevated degree.

(Incidentally, this is a really common - albeit not uniquely or exclusively - neurodivergent experience of deep love, be it romantic or otherwise.)

Continuing on that theme of both understanding and appreciation is a bit of a more esoteric discussion of different conceptualizations of love as represented in the show. In Shiizakana, Will has a dream where he kills Hannibal via stag-powered squishing, and in the dream Hannibal says to him,

No one can be fully aware of another human being unless we love them. By that love, we see potential in our beloved. Through that love, we allow our beloved to see their potential. Expressing that love, our beloved’s potential comes true.

This is a near-quote from Man’s Search for Meaning, by Viktor Frankl, which you could say both Will and Hannibal have diegetically read, since Hannibal gets to quote it in another scene in the waking world - “An abnormal reaction to an abnormal situation is normal behavior” - or you could just say that Bryan Fuller has clearly read it and the characters don’t know they’re quoting something, but that distinction isn’t important here. What is important here is that it’s coming from Will’s mind and it’s indicative of some of his attitudes about love - in a vacuum, one could perhaps argue that it’s just indicative of how he thinks Hannibal thinks about love, but then in Secondo, he says, with almost painful sincerity to Chiyoh,

I’ve never known myself as well as I know myself when I’m with him.

I think this is a really succinct and potent re-affirmation of that concept of love-as-actualization/transformation (self and other), which goes hand in glove with Will and Hannibal’s shared anxiety toward their love as a bringer of violent change to the self. (Briefly, because s2-3 are positively brimming with relevant quotes, “Do you think you could change me, the way I’ve changed you?” “If you don’t kill him, you’re afraid you’re going to become him.” “We’re conjoined. Curious if either of us can survive separation.” etc)

And I think the reciprocal aspect here is also very important: I don’t think Will would have fallen for Hannibal, or at least not nearly so deeply and inescapably, if Hannibal hadn’t also fallen for Will in a very similar manner (though the specifics of how it develops for each of them differ). The mutuality of their otherwise-unique experience with one another is intrinsic to how special the relationship is, rather than incidental - to return to the chess metaphor, it’s not just that Hannibal understands the game of chess and can appreciate Will’s playing, but can and does play with him, which means he’s got his own pieces on the board and is responding to Will’s every move. Or, because I can’t resist hammering on a parallel motif when I see one, he’s a participant, not an observer.

#hannibal #hannigram #will graham #hannibal lecter #hannibal meta #meta #my meta #if i can keep my mental momentum there might be another essay #about representations of love in the show in general #there were some contrasts i was originally going to make here that i thought were interesting #but it was already super long by that point #and they weren't strictly necessary in the scope of the topic #BUT. LATER.#jack and bella and the murder wives deserve more than two rushed lines on the subject anyway

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lamiahypnosia · 2 years

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They did Sylvanas dirty.

Not just now with this shitty split soul nonsense.

I loved Sylvanas in Warcraft 3 because it was such a sausage fest then here's this woman with skill, cunning and strength who garnered respect. Then she gave her life to protect her people.

That's supposedly where the split took place- when she was under the Lich King's control. So what, a backup copy of her living self was made?

She was abused, straight up tortured then when given a chance to start over went on a path of vengeance. Which, okay, cool, you go girl with your revenge story. Then she commits not alive and meets the val'kyr and decides to master death, blah blah blah.

How about this.

Once Frostmourne is shattered Sylvanas gets her soul back. Maybe right at the moment she's contemplating not alive on top of Icecrown. She steps to the edge ready to release herself from this mortal world, to be with her kin in the afterlife but she stops. Her mind fills with memories. Tears fall down her cheeks for the first time since her death- not tears of fear but of grief, loss.

But she's not the only one. The Forsaken probably all feel the same way. Some might hate the living and want to destroy them. Most just want to live in peace.

Anyone who played vanilla remembers and even Classic goes back to lumping the Forsaken as all evil and shady but in recent years we've eased into a more plausible 'yeah some are filled with hate but others are just kinda depressed and some are even apathetic'.

I always liked viewing undeath as a metaphor for depression. "Yes I'm like this, I didn't choose this but I have to deal with it. The rest of my existence."

You could even look at it as trauma recovery. Sylvanas' story is about trauma recovery. It should have been about recovery instead of 'ooh look at Sylvanas playing 5D chess she's so cunning, what's she up to oooh'. I know a lot of y'all liked it but as someone in trauma recovery myself I'm not looking to become like my abuser. That's why this hard turn on her character pissed me smooth the fuck off. You made Sylvanas this badass, put her through trauma and instead of her helping others and finding salvation through that you made her worse than Arthas.

And I will die on that hill. Sylvanas is worse than Arthas. Why? The Forsaken served willingly and only to carry out Sylvanas' orders. Then when she was done with them she left them to ponder their future alone without a leader in a world that hates them. Then bringing back her pitiful, pretty, alive self to cry about it moves me fucking not, Blizzard.

My point is, it should have never come to this. Sylvanas having new powers out of nowhere from a mysterious source would have been an excellent hook if it was done better. I'd be okay with a doppelganger after, say, Legion but not a 'surprise! she was not the real Sylvanas all these years' was just...cheap, lazy, stupid and any number of awful things.

Sylvanas being all cunning and broody and dark should have fucking ended when the Lich King was defeated. Then we'd have the ranger general on the Broken Shore- that's how I choose to remember her. Who respected Varian, made dark jokes about resurrecting the troops when they fell, snarked about Thrall's shamanic powers and called the retreat to save the Horde.

(Also tangent- I'm still salty about Broken Shore. Yeah we know Genn you don't trust Sylvanas but didn't y'all discuss tactics? Do you know what a tactical retreat is? Did you think the Horde should throw itself away to save- oh yeah sure that's right, Genn, let the Hordies all die you grumpy old fuck. Wonder where Genn is during all this. Probably locked out of the vigil over Sylvanas' unconscious body so he can stay pissed off and try to break the armistice. Oh Blizzard I know you're chomping at the bit to pull that out...)

Do I think Sylvanas can be redeemed? Well maybe. I think the most fitting punishment would be to make her Lich Queen.

For your sins- you made the Forsaken the Scourge 2.0, used them, robbed them of hope so you could fill them with your vengeance, raised undead left right and center when you know first hand how awful undeath is. You like undeath now? Okay put this on and have a seat. You can contemplate what you did up here.

Boom. Sylvanas punished and she can scream sweet nothings into death knights' ears.

Warcraft is garbage and it's making me angry and sad.

#world of warcraft #sylvanas windrunner #lamia spews some venom #the horde #the forsaken #look at how they massacred my girl

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avimuses · 2 years

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Things the D&D Campaign has said (Part 3)

“ And this is why I stick to pizzas. ”

“ ___ sent them over for their broken bones. ”

“ ___ belongs to the gays, now. ”

“ Ah, well, I suppose it’s understandable if it’s for a good cause. ”

“ They say archeology is a rather romantic profession, but really we’d date any old thing. ”

“ That’s terrible. 8/10. ”

“ For the love of all that’s good, do not eat the paint. That’s expensive. ”

“ Well, there goes plan B. ”

“ I want in on that plush pile, dudes. ”

“ I think that’s the bird therapy. ”

“ Stop dabbing at each other and stop him! ”

“ I keep forgetting wanton violence is frowned upon here. ”

“ I have no idea what the context for this is, but I’m glad to see you all so excited! ”

“ This is why we take ___. ”

“ Vibes too rancid, can’t see shit. ”

“ More like Detect Thots, amirite? ”

“ I AM GOING TO MAKE YOU VOMIT PEPPERONI YOU MISERABLE LITTLE CRETIN. ”

“ Listening to the bard as everyone else beats the shit out of a clown boy. ”

“ Homie, at least you didn’t have to see how he dressed. ”

“ THAT’S WHAT I THOUGHT YOU’D SAY, YOU DUMB FUCKING HORSE! ”

“ Help, I’m stuck in a party full of dorks. ”

“ I’m in hell, both literally and metaphorically. ”

“ Imagine knowing your left from your right. ”

“ Is this a meme or are we actually lost? ”

“ Haha! This pitiful fool is no match for my superior intellect! ”

“ Was it lucky? Considering I was doing a T-pose? ”

“ I think there’s a difference between a T-pose and a crucifixion. ”

“ I don’t know why I keep asking when y’all keep giving me answers like this. ”

“ I also ruined some guy’s life today but that’s not important. ”

“ No braincells only break-ins. ”

“ Can the forces of evil just stay dead for like five minutes? ”

“ Not him, he’s a dumbass. ”

“ The only poison is existence itself. ”

“ Kids, could you lighten up a little? ”

“ Update: ___ is eating the chess pieces. ”

“ I regret checking in on you guys, but at the same time I’m not surprised. ”

“ I leave you alone. For a few hours. And this happens. ”

#memes #rp meme #sentence starters #sentence starter #sentence starter prompts #sentence starter meme #rp #roleplay

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jess-rewatches-prodigalson · 3 years

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Exit Strategy (S2, E10)

My time-stamped thoughts for this episode are below. As always I reference Malcolm’s mental health. A lot. So if that’s going to be a trigger for you, don’t keep reading.

SPOILERS AHEAD:

0:40 - Oh it’s Capshaw’s dream. Well. That’s upsetting.

1:10 - .....she was performing surgery on herself?!!? WTF?

1:37 - The fact that Jessica broke into her adult child’s home to steal Martin memorabilia is hilarious to me. Also deeply upsetting. Because - dysfunctional.

1:40 - “In my loft? Where I live?” hahahahahahaha sassy!Malcolm for the win! Also - there is something so so cute about the way Tom delivers this line. <3 It’s precious.

1:46 - “I don’t always wake up screaming.” ....so historically we know this is true. Malcolm didn’t wake up screaming at the beginning of 1x15 when Eve was in his loft....but still... Malcolm’s mental health has been in tatters. I find it highly unlikely that he wouldn’t be waking up screaming. Especially since he was hallucinating last episode!!!!

1:55 - The Never. Ever. Room?!?!?! I’m shook. I’m amused. I’m horrified. I can’t believe that Jessica would let Malcolm keep that stuff in his loft. Why isn’t it locked up in a storage container or something? Jessica let Malcolm - the boy that Martin traumatized - sleep in the same building as all of Martin’s belongings?!?! Nah. Jessica is so overbearing .... I just don’t buy it.

2:21 - “I am ignoring the Surgeon altogether.” Awww look at how proud Malcolm is to tell Jessica about his serial killer cleanse. He’s like, “I finally have news that will make Mom happy!!” <3 <3 Precious.

2:36 - “He’s been calling. Non-stop.” annnnnnnd there’s are sad profiler. He’s putting on a good act for Jessica but he’s still clearly in a lot of emotional pain.

3:15 - Really? The writers have Jessica riding the Brightwell train now? For real? I’m here for it but it feels kind of fast? Forced? Out of left field? I mean Jessica’s totally the type of mom who meddles in her kid’s love life (remember Eve?) but in the middle of the whole Ainsley-Endicott fiasco? Jessica should be more concerned about Malcolm’s mental state and less concerned with his relationship status.

3:17 - Did Malcolm really just admit (sort of abstractly, but still) that he’s interested in Dani romantically? Doesn’t he realize that Jessica will try to interfere?!? He’s basically given her his blessing!!!

3:25 - awwwww....the pic of baby!Malcolm and baby!Ainsley is so cute. <3

3:40 - UGH. I want to know more about that key and what it unlocks so badly!!!

3:46 - “Oh great. Detective Mom.” <3 I love it when he calls Jessica “Mom” instead of “Mother”. <3

4:36 - ......Mr.David and Martin have such an interesting dynamic. Martin listens to Mr. David without showing any signs of anger, resentment, or his usual psychopathic manipulation. Mr. David controls Martin much the way a parent controls their well-behaved child. I just find it so fascinating that Martin treats Mr. David with respect. That’s not Martin’s usual reaction when things don’t go his way.

5:00 - I’m so happy we keep getting more screen time with Hector. <3 This dude’s great.

6:05 - soooo the fact that Jessica stabbed Daryl in the neck is probably going to inhibit Daryl’s ability to speak right? Making Daryl a useless source of information regarding the breakout?

6:24 - I love everything about this scene with Gil’s new car. I love that Malcolm’s “wow, the Coronet’s looking good.” is said with this little smile. As though Malcolm doesn’t really care about the car, but he knows mentioning it will make Gil happy. I love Gil’s rant about “No more Whitly’s around my car.” and Gil’s glare when JT asks about Tarmel’s around the car. I love Dani’s “boys and toys” line. UGh. It was just the little dose of found family that I craved. <3 BUT I do have one small complaint/concern. Gil. He said, “No more Whitly’s around my car.” Whitly’s. Why did he refer to Malcolm as a Whitly?

6:54 - “Some major Japan-y vibes.”.....I’m sorry the word you’re looking for is “Japanese”?!?! Anyone else get super distracted by this line?!?

7:56 - “Old people” HA. OMG. I love this so much. <3 <3

9:11 - As someone with severe social and general anxiety that has at times bordered on a form agoraphobia - Dani’s dismissive tone when she says “he’s afraid to leave the house.” hurts. Especially since it feels really out of character for Dani. She doesn’t usually dismiss people so quickly. Maybe there’s a story there? She had an agoraphobic family member?

10:14 - “NYPD. Adjacent.” Why isn’t Malcolm a member of the NYPD yet? He trained with the FBI. He’s clearly capable of being employed as a detective for the NYPD. Is it because he doesn’t want to carry a gun? Is it because Gil doesn’t want Malcolm to carry a gun? Is it bureaucracy (probably)?

10:44 - Malcolm explaining why the antique pistol won’t fire is adorable.

10:57 - This dude hasn’t left the house since March of 1997. Martin was arrested in 1998. Is this supposed to have some sort of double meaning? Like maybe Malcolm discovered that Martin was killing people in 1997 but the chloroform confused him for a while and he didn’t call the cops until 98′? Is this supposed to be a metaphor for the fact that Malcolm hasn’t been truly alive since 1997? He’s just been in survival mode - he hasn’t been living.

11:22 - “I’m not too good around people.” This dude is Malcolm. Malcolm lives in a state of constant fear and anxiety. Malcolm isn’t so good with relationships or casual human interactions.

11:30 - It makes perfect sense to me that Dani is the detective that Malcolm brings in to talk to Gerald. Forget the Brightwell agenda. Gerald is a scared old man. JT and Gil are authoritative men (they’re teddy bears but they can also be scary). Dani is a woman. Women are typically seen as less of a threat. Though Dani could totally kick just about anyone’s ass. But it makes sense to me that a scared witness would feel more comfortable around the smaller female detective than the large male ones.

12:03 - Ugh. I feel so bad for Gerald. The dude is clearly experiencing some sensory overload on top of his anxiety. :(

12:15 - hahahaha the absolute best part of this little Brightwell moment is Gerald’s reaction. This old man just connected the dots and you can see it ALL over his face. ....but also, it’s a really cute moment. <3

12:38 - “Too late if you ask me.” Is it just me or does Gerald seem protective of Rosalie here? Almost paternal?

13:03 - “You still think like a grand master” Is this supposed to be an illusion to the way that Malcolm thinks about cases? He thinks like the killer in order to solve the case?

13:13 - WHY DOES MALCOLM KNOW SO MUCH ABOUT A CHESS LEGEND FROM THE 70s and 80s?!? Did baby!Malcolm have a chess phase? I want details.

13:22 - I love Gerald. He’s such a cute little old man. He’s scared but you can tell that he has a good heart and that he’s extremely smart. Look at how impressed he is with Malcolm. <3 He’s a lot like Malcolm.

13:27 -”Memory was always my gift.” Memory is Gerald’s gift but it’s been Malcolm’s curse.

15:04 - Malcolm is so close to snapping. Look at this poor boy. He’s at the end of his rope. :(

15:14 - “Looks like you got some sleep.” Awwww proud!Gil <3

15:40 - “Agoraphobia often comes from trauma.” Yep. Malcolm identifies with Gerald. I wonder if Malcolm ever went through a period of agoraphobia? Maybe as a teen?

15:48 - .....is this foreshadowing? When the truth about Endicott comes out is Malcolm going to be deemed an ‘unreliable witness’? Or maybe that’s how Ainsley is going to try and pin the murder on Malcolm?

15:58 - annnnnd we finally got a good shot of concerned!Gil. There’s no way that Gil isn’t reading between the lines here. He knows Malcolm identifies with Gerald and he knows Malcolm is having issues with his mental health, identity, and self-worth. SOMEONE CONFRONT HIM. WHERE IS THE MALCOLM INTERVENTION?!!?

16:20 - “Are you alright? Don’t answer that.”.....because Martin doesn’t actually care about Malcolm’s mental or physical health. Martin is a narcissist who has a story to tell.

16:27 - “No. Me first.” I’m. So. Proud. Of. Malcolm. <3 <3

16:56 - “That felt good.” :) Awwww... <3 I’m proud of Malcolm for this but Martin is totally going to hold it against him in later episodes. It’s going to fuel some sort of anger. Just wait for it.

17:05 - Again. Mr. David acts like Martin’s dad. If Martin were 8 years old.

17:40 - Chrisitan Brole is a treasure. His acting is incredible. Friar Pete is creepy, likeable, funny, and terrifying. Honestly. Give him an Emmy.

20:00 - “*sigh* kid.” This breaks my heart. You can see Gil’s doubt and concern all over his face. He’s doubting Malcolm’s ability to make an accurate profile of Gerald because he knows how much Malcolm identifies and sympathizes with Gerald. He’s concerned about Malcolm because....I mean have you seen him lately? The boy is spiralling and it hurts to watch. But Gil is scared for Malcolm right now. Gil is now worried that the cases aren’t enough to distract Malcolm. That Malcolm can’t work on cases anymore. That Malcolm’s mental health has compromised his ability to work effectively.

20:50 - “We’re friends. Partners” Listen to the longing in Malcolm’s voice when he says “partners”. He wants to be romantic partners with Dani - not just work partners. It’s obvious. This boy is an open book when it comes to how he feels about Dani.

21:08 - “And she never will.” there is something about the way Tom delivers this line. How he sort of trips over the words. I can’t tell if it’s intentional or not but it works. It somehow makes it more raw and emotional. Malcolm wants so so badly to tell Dani how he feels but he’s convinced that he’s a monster. That she deserves someone more stable than him. Someone with less trauma. Malcolm is convinced that he’s not safe for anyone to love. Malcolm is convinced he’s going to snap and become Martin.

21:17 - “Sounds lonely.” I love the way Malcolm immediately dismisses this as ‘tactical empathy’. Malcolm has accepted that he will be alone forever. He’s convinced himself he deserves it. I’m willing to bet that Malcolm rarely (if ever) actually feels lonely. Between coping mechanisms, hallucinations, and trauma - I doubt his mind is ever quiet enough for him to notice loneliness.

21:27 - “You’ve spent your life mastering a game. I’ve spent mine mastering how people think.” .....ok but chess is basically about predicting your opponents moves and then Gerald graduated to people watching soooooo they’re really not that different.

22:06 - I love this. I love how Malcolm turns on Gerald only for Gerald to emphatically explain how he lives through that window. Because - isn’t Malcolm the same? How many people have accused Malcolm of being a murderer when really he’s just a man who only feels alive when he’s solving murders and putting away killers?

22:50 - Rosalie helped Gerald much like Dani helps Malcolm. But Gerald couldn’t help Rosalie because he was trapped in his trauma. .....sooooo what’s going to happen to Dani? Or is this just supposed to be a reference to the fact that Dani can’t trust Malcolm because he’s keeping Endicott a secret and she knows something is up?

22:51 - ummmmm 60bpm??!?!? That’s a borderline athletic resting heart rate for a man in his 50s. There’s no way Martin’s in that great of shape. He’s trapped in his cell most of the day.

24:28 - oooookkkkkayyyy so maybe Capshaw isn’t as smart as I thought she was. Martin is playing her like a fiddle. Although that dream sequence from the intro did make it seem like she was only interested in Martin because she craved medical power and respect.

25:22 - Martin didn’t call Jessica his wife to screw with Capshaw. He genuinely still thinks of Jessica as his wife.....this is not good for the future. This tracks with the dreams Martin’s had throughout this season of going back home to his family.

25:44 - Oh yeah. Jessica knows that woman is into Martin.

26:41 - “Isn’t it obvious? It’s the key to my heart.” LMAO holy shit.

26:56 - “I can tell when you’re lying.” “Not historically.”......Martin has a point.

28:27 - This counts as my “someone confronts Malcolm about his mental health” bingo square for the episode right?

28:35 - Look at Gil. He knows Malcolm is lying through his teeth and he’s so so tired of it. He looks so sad and annoyed. Gil loves Malcolm so much and he’s clearly concerned about Malcolm but I honestly think Gil just feels helpless right now. Malcolm is spiralling and Gil can’t help because Malcolm won’t open up.

29:15 - “When she didn’t give up Clayton he killed her. Brave girl.”.....does this mean there’s going to be an attempt on someone’s life this season? Maybe Martin tries to kill Ainsley because she’s going to pin Endicott’s murder on Malcolm? Or Malcolm tries to kill Ainsley because she doesn’t give up Martin’s location? Or Ainsley/Martin try to kill Malcolm because he tries to come clean about everything?

29:26 - “If anyone can get through to this guy it’s you.” THANK YOU. Malcolm really needed that assurance. This dude is so full of negative emotions, self doubt, and pain. Every moment he feels supported, believed in, or loved is immensely treasured.

30:26 - Oh Capshaw. You dumb dumb dumb woman. Look at Martin’s face. Capshaw has freed a monster. That’s Martin’s “I’m a raging serial killer” expression.

30:29 - Holy shit. Look at how quickly Martin put the “I’m a harmless doctor” mask. In the span of about 1 second he went from killer to angel. Michael Sheen is incredible.

31:04 - “You don’t have to be trapped in here.” It breaks my heart to hear Malcolm encourage Gerald to break free from his trauma when Malcolm is still a prisoner to his own.

31:10 - “This is your next move” “No. It’s not”. THIS. This sums up anxiety disorders. Everyone tells you to ‘move on’ or ‘take a deep breath’. They all tell you that ‘everything will be fine’. They ask you ‘what’s the worst thing that could happen.” The problem: most people with anxiety disorders know the majority of their fears (or at least the severity of them) is irrational. Most people with anxiety disorders have tried therapy, drugs, coping mechanisms, breathing techniques, ect. Anxiety doesn’t go away because you want it to. Telling someone to move on - just makes it worse. Especially someone who has lived with severe anxiety so long that it feels like a crucial part of their personality. I’ve had a severe anxiety disorder for as long as I can remember - I don’t want to heal. I don’t know who I’d be without severe anxiety. I’m scared to find out.

32:10 - “Family comes first”........soooo is Martin escaping to groom Ainsley for the family business (murder)? For Malcolm (to save him from Ainsley)? To protect Malcolm from a new Surgeon related skeleton (akin to Endicott)? WHY?

32:33 - ahhhh Papa!Gil. I’ve missed you.

33:25 - I have this headcannon that baby!Malcolm had pet rats at some point (he’d had snakes so I feel like rats would be in his wheelhouse). One day while Malcolm was at school the rats escaped from their cage and scared the crap out of Jessica. Jessica demands that the rats be removed from the home. That’s it. That’s the scene that plays in my head.

33:39 -.....Jessica is wearing a ring on her left ring finger. Why?

34:03 - “Jess it’s good to hear from you but -” They’re dating again now. Right? <3

34:06 - “What?!” Fear and confusion. That’s the look on Gil’s face. We love to see it.

34:25 - “Martin is escaping.” Look at Gil’s face. He’s terrified. He’s staying calm and acting like he’s in control but this dude is terrified that the people he loves most in the world (Jessica and Malcolm) are in serious and immediate danger.

34:50 - .....last I checked Malcolm was claustrophobic with specific closet-related trauma......

35:40 - “There’s only one play for a pawn.”.....does this mean Malcolm considers himself a pawn in Martin’s game? Disposable. Limited options. Replaceable. Of little worth? :(

35:57 - “What would you know about it Judas.” Huh. Pete is pissed at Martin. Is it because Pete views Martin’s nasty relationship with Capshaw as a betrayal akin to Judas’ betrayal of Jesus?

36:36 - Jessica using her heels as a weapon is honestly such a mood. hahaha

36:54 - Poor Jessica. The moment she realizes that she’s trapped with a killer who not only hates Martin but also has an hallucinatory friend is haunting. This woman goes from terrified to petrified. But look at her poker face. She’s brave. She tries to talk her way out of it. She tries to think her way out of it. She’s like Malcolm.

37:42 - Jessica firmly telling Daryl not to take another step right before she stabs him in the neck with a high heel is everything. Listen to her terrified screaming. She can’t believe she just stabbed the man (even if it was self-defence). This woman did the impossible while scared to death. She is a badass. She’s my hero. I love her.

38:12 - “All she had to do was tell me where my brother was. Except they were in love”.....does this mean Ainsley or Martin is going to try and kill Dani?

39:32 - “Don’t you think that’s what Rosalie would’ve wanted for you? This time make the right choice.” Wow. Malcolm is really metaphorically berating himself. What I heard was “Don’t you think Dani would want you to live without fear and guilt? This time - tell her your secret. Come clean. You’ll feel better.”

40:12 - ....so did Dani steal Gil’s keys or did he give them to her? Can we see how mad Gil is about this? Please? .....also the not-so-subtle “Dani is going to be a part of the Whitly family because she hurt Gil’s car” is not lost on me. I’m just more interested in Gil’s reaction to Dani hurting his baby.

40:21 - “I see why you like her.” hahaha Gerald is all of us. Whether or not you ship Brightwell, you can’t deny that Dani is a badass and a good friend to Malcolm. That’s reason enough for Malcolm to like her - not necessarily in a romantic way.

40:30 - Where the hell did Daryl go? If Jessica was trapped where did the man with a high heel in his neck go?!!?!

40:33 - “It’s okay. It’s okay. You’re okay.” <3 <3 The whump whore in me is in love. Forget Gillica. I’ll listen to Gil comforting a traumatized member of the team or Jessica any time, any day. <3

40:50 - I have so many questions about this escape. Are the guys sticking together? If not - do they know where the other guys plan to go/do? Where will they be getting the post-escape change of clothes (you know the ones that aren’t property of Claremont)?

40:55 - I’ll be honest, I’m shocked. They’ve been teasing Martin’s escape all season but I really thought he wasn’t going to escape until the finale. Now I’m so excited for the finale. If it’s not a Martin-Ainsley-Malcolm showdown or a Gil-Martin showdown I’m going to be sad.

41:13. - Martin and Gerald both just took their first breath of fresh air as ‘free’ men after 23-24 years. The symmetry of this episode’s two main plot lines is more obvious than usual.

41:44 - Look at Gerald being Malcolm’s wingman. hahaha it’s so cute. He’s self-appointed himself as Malcolm’s grandpa and I’m here for it.

41:51 - REALLY MALCOLM?!!? YOU CHOOSE TO LISTEN TO A VOICEMAIL FROM THE SURGEON NOW?!?! #MORON

42:29 - Martin’s entire message for Malcolm is haunting. Even now, he’s trying to manipulate Malcolm. “I’m not the man I used to be”. I’ll promise you right now - Martin will be killing at least one person in the next 3 episodes. He’s addicted to killing. End of story.

“I’m doing this for you” ....Is Martin going after Ainsley? I’m genuinely concerned that Martin thinks Ainsley is going to try and kill Malcolm or pin the Endicott murder on Malcolm. I think Martin caught wind of it and is planning on ‘taking care of the problem’ (Ainsley).

42:35 - Look at Dani. She’s terrified. For Malcolm. For Gil. For New York. For herself. She knows how bad this is and she’s scared.

42:44 - “You fath-. The Surgeon.” THIS. Dani realized that Malcolm doesn’t need to be reminded that his father is a serial killer. Dani realized that family is more than blood. The Surgeon escaped. Malcolm is in danger. But Malcolm’s father didn’t escape. Malcolm’s father has been dead since 1997/1998 when Malcolm found out he was a serial killer.

42:55 - Malcolm. :( Look at our baby. :( He’s done. Absolute horror and terror. He looks like he’s going into shock. I honestly thought (*cough* hoped *cough*) he was going to pass out. THIS is what’s going to remove Malcolm as a suspect for ‘aiding/knowing that Martin was planning on escaping’. Same with Jessica. Ainsley doesn’t have a terror driven alibi though. At least - not that we’ve seen.

AHHHHHHHH this was such an intense episode. I can’t wait for Tuesday. <3

If Malcolm doesn’t have a full on mental breakdown soon I’m going to have a stress-induced breakdown for him. Seriously.

Thanks for hanging out.

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legionofpotatoes · 3 years

Note

As someone who absolutely loves sci-fi and loved ME, but struggles to care much for anything fantasy (never cared for LOTR or Witcher, what would you recommend about Dragon Age that might appeal to me?

I am not sure how to enter your headspace nonnie, so it’s a bit hard for me to answer genuinely, but uhm. I’ll try to start broad and address Dragon Age in a bit?

From what I understand if someone goes exclusively after sci-fi and not fantasy, there’s something unapproachable about the aesthetic packaging to them. Because by and large both of those genres operate on the same heightened metaphor plane, but sci fi is much much closer to our ground rules whereas fantasy is probably harder to relate to on those elemental points. Beyond that, the stories told are quite similar because as people we tell similar stories. So it’s hard for me to tell why you’ve never cared for the genre at large.

My guess? There is a seeming elegance to worldbuilding structure of science fiction that I think some consider absent from fantasy - that fantasy by its definition is a kitchen sink playhouse of wish fulfillment - and hence find it overwhelming to engage with. I say this because I’ve had this thought a few times as a kid.

But it is not at all the case; to go back to Dragon Age and relate it to your love of Mass Effect, see how the integral strength of ME’s stories are the conflicts it creates from character-driven plots, and how those conflicts are built upon internal world rules like AI ethics or power abuse or familial relationships or even weaponized genophages. Those are all ideas that are hardwired into the foundation of the worldbuilding and not vice versa; and thus are supported by the narrative, feeding directly into character actions and giving us those sweet sweet conflicts that make good stories and make us love these games. None of that is absent in Dragon Age; it is not an unapproachable esoteric world without any tether to our own. It is just as hardwired with stone-set rulesets and established political and ethical conflicts as any Mass Effect, it just has a different packaging around it with an appropriately varying combat gameplay component and all of this ends up asking us to buy into their exposition with a bit more abandon than usual, but beneath all that is the same exact dance of Bioware’s wobbly ethical dilemmas expressed through quests and stories tied around gathering rag-tag teams of lovable characters with optional romances thrown in. Execution on all that stuff is more-or-less as imperfect as in Mass Effect, but that’s something subjective that I don’t need to talk about here.

This is all like big-level stuff about story ethos and its function within heightened genres, but I may have completely overshot your initial ask in my ramble :D if your question was a simpler quandary based on gameplay mechanics and such, well, Dragon Age’s dialogue and character relationship systems are VERY similar to Mass Effect, you can really tell it’s built under the same roof. Combat gameplay is quite different, with a higher emphasis on class power play and squad management (you have 3 companions with you in combat encounters, as opposed to 2 in ME, and that ties into the overall balance), and tbh it can get more fun than ME since there’s no Gun you can fall back on. So it’s all about using the tactical pause and approaching hard encounters like a chess game, with a less faster overall pace. Camera’s third person.

As for the exploration pillar, it is pronounced in some installments but less so in others. To wit, the DA trilogy games are just as varied in their systems as the ME trilogy games were, so it is hard to talk about that part succinctly. Origins covers one country, DAII is set more or less in a single city, and Inquisition spans half a continent. The stories they tell and their parsable content is tied very much to how those settings mentally scale.

Another big thing that might sit on top of your criteria is the playable character; while similar to ME in terms of the DA games telling a chronological story of Thedas (the world they are set in), their protagonists differ per game and hence boast no direct and instant connection to the PC like you’d get in the second and third ME games. The savegame transfer is still a thing and worldstates carry over, but e.g. central characters from past games may show up as tertiary NPCs in later ones and create a meta dissonance and a disconnect between your headspace and that of your player character’s, who does not know them at all. I find that a bit irritating, but it comes with the approach.

So yeah, I think I’ll end here until my rant becomes unmanageable. This wasn’t as much a recommendation as it was an overview that you can hopefully make a more educated decision on. I apologize for the long read. Thanks for the ask!

#anon #asks #dragon age

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joeyjoeylee · 3 years

Text

Music Ask Meme

Tagged by @bourbon-ontherocks, @roxy206, @whiskeyjack, @mego42 (Thank you, guys!)

You can usually tell a lot about a person by the type of music they listen to.

Put your favorite playlist on shuffle and list the first 10 songs then tag ten people! No skipping! (or maybe some skipping. I’m not your dad, do what feels right)

Putting this under a cut because, well, I do not know the meaning of the word restraint and also, I’m not strictly following the rules of this Ask here (and by “strictly,” I mean “at all”).

First, I think this meme is exactly right and you CAN tell a lot about a person by the type of music they listen to. The problem is that I don’t really listen to music and therefore I’m deeply afraid of what people will be able to “tell a lot” about me from this fact (e.g., I want to eat your liver with fava beans; I am Orin from Parks and Rec; etc. etc.)

So I don’t have any playlists and I don’t have 10 songs…or do I? Awhile back @mego42 challenged me to just name 10 songs. I think she meant this as like when you try to play chess with a 5-year-old and end up agreeing that they can jump the pieces like checkers just to get the game over with.

But regardless, I CAN name 10 songs (although seriously, this took me a really long time to do, like, an embarrassingly long time. But it’s Presidents Day and I hate my fan fic writing at the moment so am desperate to practice avoidance and avoid boredom at the same time so here goes.)

1. Like a Rock – This song plays non-stop during Chevy commercials during football games. I only know the first 3 words “Like A Rock” but I can sing them over and over perfectly in tune.

2. WAP – The other day there was a post that said that if a TikTok is really good, it’ll breach the containment field of TikTok (I am still not 100% sure what TikTok is tbh) and cross over into other mediums. So too do popular songs do this for me, when they breach the Music World and enter Pop Culture World. This summer, I started seeing the word “WAP” everywhere, although since I was reading it, I pronounced it to rhyme with “rap.” Somehow feminism and male v. female artists’ lyric appropriateness was involved with it? And Kylie Jenner? But also somehow Joe Biden? Intrigued, I googled and this is how I actually listened to (and enjoyed!) a 2020 song.

3. Mr. Clean jingle – This song is sung during Mr. Clean commercials. It is a straight up banger and the lyrics are really really good as well.

4. No Rain (Blind Melon) – My college roommate was going through a Time what with homesickness and culture shock and she played one song on repeat for what felt like our entire freshman year. I can hear the first line in my brain and see the CD cover like it was yesterday (speaking metaphorically here because again, when I close my eyes I see only the back of my eyelids). Once again I had to turn to Google for this (my google search = “All I can say is that my life is pretty plain” and bee costume girl song) and I am told this was No Rain by Blind Melon.

5. Take Me Out to the Ball Game/Baby Shark – I probably heard these two songs the most in all of 2019 since they play the first one during the 7th Inning stretch at every Nationals baseball game (and other baseball parks obvi) and then Baby Shark because it was the walk-up music for a wildly popular player that then morphed into a cultural phenom (everyone standing up, imitating shark mouths with our arms, etc.). Man, I miss pre-pandemic baseball summer life 😩

6. The Sound of Music (all songs) – I’m not totally uncultured, I want that to be known. I’ve seen The Sound of Music roughly 100 times (my bestie from college and I used to come home drunk from the bars and fire it up at 3 am and sing along loudly to the joy of our neighbors) and I know all these songs, even the boring ones like the Mother Superior looking pensively out the window one (Climb Ev’ry Mountain – not this film’s greatest work, I’m not gonna lie).

7. Auld Lang Syne – Pretty impossible for me to have my rom com New Years Eve kiss moment one day if I don’t know the words to this song and am not prepared to sing it with a sparkler during a dramatic countdown to the New Year/New Life. (Also, it’s in the ending of It’s A Wonderful Life, another movie I’ve seen umpteen times so it’s baked into my DNA).

8. Keep on the Sunny Side – Literally I was obsessed with this Michelob Ultra commercial (https://www.ispot.tv/ad/AXOA/michelob-ultra-weather ) to the point of downloading Shazam (SHAZAM PEOPLE!) to try to identify the song.

9. Despacito – Another song that jumped the Music-Pop Culture blood/brain barrier was when I started seeing people everywhere write “That’s so sad. Alexa, play Despacito.” I googled, then actually took the time and trouble to download it from iTunes. I then drove around just blasting Despacito (lol, check out me using the past tense here like I don’t still do this). I gather that this song isn’t cool any more (if it ever was) by the pitying look my friend gave me when he got in my car awhile back and by the fact that he straight up said, “really? Despacito? Really?” but I don’t care because I love it. Oh! So I do in fact have a playlist and it has one song on it - Despacito (so I guess I could have just done Despacito 1-10 here).

10. Can’t Take My Eyes Off You (Frankie Valli) – Can’t even be flippant about this one, I love it so much I put it in my fan fic! My parents loved the Oldies Station on the radio so if we were driving anywhere growing up, pretty good chance you’d hear it. So pretty, tugs at my heart with the yearning and affection.

There you go, Meg, 10+ songs! And I hope this fulfilled the spirit if not the letter of the tag for you guys - THANK YOU FOR TAGGING ME!

#tag games #the definition of adhd

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uwukechi · 4 years

Note

shuake and/or pegoryu for the ship thing uwuwu

001: Shuake/Akeshu

when I started shipping it if I did:

Honestly? Right from the get-go. I saw Goro at the TV station and when he opposed the Phantom Thieves but immediately took an interest in Akiren, and Akiren reciprocated that interest and there was no outward negativity expressed (by either Akiren or Morgana) towards their relationship, it was basically greenlit in my head. This was back in vanilla -- but the rest of the game, AND Royal, definitely just made it go stronger. The main reason was the fact that they could intellectually stimulate and interest the other with no ill will or malice, and that they both seemed to enjoy it.

my thoughts:

First of all, there’s the entire rivalry thing which I LOVE.

The whole concept of healthy rivalries always appeal in a relationship dynamic to me, because 1) they don’t “bore” each other due to the fact that there’s always going to be something keeping their interest up in a competitive way, 2) there’s no power imbalance due to the fact that the basis of any rivalry is that they are equals, and 3) both people in the relationship will always be striving to become better not for the other person, but because of the other person. Look at it this way:

There’s “I want to be the best version of myself to make you happy,” which is pretty much any other relationship dynamic that enforces self-betterment.

THEN, there’s rivalmance, which is, “I want to be the best version of myself because you motivate me to want to become a better person for myself,” which just honestly strikes a chord with me, mainly because it means that the relationship isn’t about pandering to one another, but about two people who can go up head-to-head, bare their souls and give each other everything they’ve got, and still come out stronger and happier than when they went in.

It’s exactly this in shuake that appeals to me so much -- that, of course, and the fact that they genuinely care about the other for who the other is, and not for anyone else. It’s especially blatant when you think about the fact that they both mirror each other in so many ways -- they both put on so many masks for the public and everyone around them; they’re both wildcards; they’re designed to mirror the other -- anyway, that list goes on for days.

The fact of the matter is that they can honestly, truly understand each other. There’s a saying -- “it is when dressed for a masquerade where you are most naked” -- that I think fits them really well. Their whole confidant route explores the many layers to their relationship and how they can fully understand the true depth of what the other means by using the guise of casual conversation as metaphor for the truth. Which you’ll know I obsess over if you’ve seen my post on their third confidant rank in Royal or small potatoes.

Oooops, that got a little long...

And of course, to no one’s surprise.

What makes me happy about them:

can’t i just say “everything” and be done with it

Okay but in all seriousness, I absolutely love how they’ve found someone so special for themselves in each other. Their relationship is so valuable to them, so important and meaningful that it’s truly something I think is precious. And that’s not even taking into account how much they would consider doing (and sacrificing) for the other if need be. Hell, Goro entrusts Akiren with his life mission (taking down Shido to let him rot) before intending to give up his own life in the engine room, and Akiren is given the absolutely heartrending choice to choose between Akechi or the world. The fact that it’s such a hard choice to make in and of itself is testament to how much it means. The fact that 2/2 exists is testament. The fact that Goro’s third awakening takes place at Leblanc, with Akiren, every little detail. They just. they mean so much to each other and that’s honestly one of the things that really makes me happy.

What makes me sad about them:

Nothing in particular about their relationship saddens me, per se? Like, they truly make me and each other happy by virtue of just being there. That’s not to say that their circumstances aren’t impressively saddening -- just take Proof of Justice, for example. The only thing that saddens me about their relationship is the tragedy of their circumstances: “If only we had met a few years earlier”? That hit. Well written angst is the best variant.

things done in fanfic that annoys me:

When. Akiren. is. mean-spirited. to. Goro. or. vice. versa. It’s just...not them? Like, Akiren knows what Goro’s been through, and seeing people write him making fun of Goro with the Phantom Thieves as anything further than light/playful teasing just makes me wince because it’s... cruel. Similarly, Goro’s a prick, yeah, but he’d never really go so far as to be needlessly cruel to Akiren and enjoy it for the sake of it. It’s just...blegh. I don’t like it.

things I look for in fanfic:

DYNAMIC! If any fic really nails their dynamic I absolutely adore it. The edge of competition, the proud and encouraging taunts, the innate bond and trust? Gimme that sweet sweet RIVALMANCE. The “do I hate you or do I hate what how you make me feel?” The “I want to get my feelings across but saying them would make it real and make it matter, so I’m going to layer it within thousands of metaphors and hypotheticals that I know you’ll understand regardless, but as long as I don’t let myself falter with my goal, it’s fine”

Ahem.

Basically I like them pining/trying to one-up each other and just generally relishing being in the other’s presence.

Who I’d be comfortable them ending up with, if not each other:

GOD this is a hard one because I don’t really ship either of them with anyone else? I know for Goro there’s been a lot of akesumi stuff going around but that really isn’t my cup of tea, so for Goro I’d prooooobably go with Yusuke because akekita is cute, lol. I will say that I headcanon Akiren as massively bi and I’d be willing to settle for shuann but I don’t really see them romantically? Like, bi solidarity and that’s all? OH though I wouldn’t mind Akiren with Hifumi; that’s a cute ship too!

My happily ever after for them:

They’re happy as long as they’re together, in my heart. Given both of their characters I think they both do like the fast-paced life that keeps them stimulated, but they can only properly slow down when they’re with each other, just because of how well they truly understand each other and knows what the other needs. Their happily ever after is honestly just them being together, because home is where the heart is.

who is the big spoon/little spoon:

Real talk, they snuggle together and both kind spoon each other? Other than that they alternate between big and little spoon, depending on whose trauma is affecting them. Akiren claims to be the big spoon more often because he likes believing that he’s able to comfort Goro when confronted in his darker moments and be there to protect him and assure him that things aren’t gonna hurt him anymore, but Goro ends up being the big spoon a lot more frequently because Akiren takes up too many people’s problems and gets stressed out over them without dealing with his own issues first, so Akiren frequently needs to be reminded that he has someone to protect him too, and Goro’s more than glad to be able to fill that role, to be able to help heal instead of hurt.

what is their favorite non-sexual activity:

Anything, so long as it’s competitive! As long as they can aim to compete with the other or one-up the other, it’ll be absolutely engaging for the both of them, whether it’s a debate, a game of chess, battleships, darts, pool, baseball batting in Yongen-Jaya, or playing tennis. Just let them compete and get passionate about it, and they’ll both have the time of their lives. Seriously.

Ask post here!

(I’ll do pegoryu next for you, anon, in a separate post!)

#ask me(me)#shuake #akeshu #persona 5 #p5 #persona 5 royal #p5r #vague p5r spoilers #goro akechi #akira kurusu #ren amamiya #this is my absolute favourite ship of all time so i have a LOT to say about it lol #emmaski analysis

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jadelotusflower · 3 years

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Roundup - September 2021

This month: Saving Fish From Drowning, Alice in Wonderland/Through the Looking Glass, Anne Boleyn, Cruella, The Chair

Reading

Saving Fish from Drowning (Amy Tan) - I've always enjoyed Tan's work (particularly The Joy Luck Club, both the book and film) - Fish is somewhat of a departure, following a group of American tourists in Myanmar, narrated by their recently deceased friend Bibi Chen. The novel begins with a preface in which Tan explains she drew inspiration for the novel based on real events chronicled by a San Franciscan psychic's "automatic writing" channeling Chen's spirit (in truth a complete invention on Tan’s part, both literary device and metaphor).

Bibi is a compelling narrator, full of wry commentary of her friends as they bumble their way through their trip, the tone of the novel quite light despite some of the dark subject matter around the political situation in Myanmar (the novel was written in 2005 and set several years earlier) and the nature of intervention - the title referring to fisherman who "save fish from drowning" by netting them. It was at times difficult to keep track of all twelve (!) of the main characters and who was who outside of the few who get the most attention of the narrative.

An interesting read, about the stories we tell ourselves and others, and the fictions we believe for comfort and hope.

Alice's Adventures in Wonderland/Through the Looking Glass and what Alice found there (Lewis Carroll) - I've been making more of an effort to work on my novel lately, which makes some reference to these works so thought it was due for a re-read. It seems impossible to consider these separate novels given how conflated they have become in pop culture - even the Disney film takes elements from both - they act as either a duology, or alternatively a single story told in two parts.

I personally much prefer Looking Glass, perhaps because I imprinted on the 1985 miniseries as a child (which adapts both novels, but we only had the second part on tape) - best known for it's celebrity cameos in silly costumes - including Sammy Davis Jnr, Donald O'Connor, Ringo Starr, and Carol Channing, among others, and the danger of the Jabberwocky as a manifestation of Alice's fears quite a nice idea that isn't found in the original text.

Perhaps Looking Glass, while remaining absurdist, is more cohesive than Wonderland with the chess motif and central motive for Alice to reach the Eighth Square and become a queen. I do however find the constant poetry tedious, and wonder whether both Wonderland and Looking Glass are better remembered for the concepts rather than the actual text.

Watching

Anne Boleyn (episodes 1-3) - I didn't think we needed another film/show about Anne, but I was always going to watch it. This series relies upon familiarity with history as it begins with Anne's final, doomed pregnancy - opening with the haunting words “Anne is the most powerful woman in England - she has just five months to live.”

There's nothing especially new here; rather a mood and character piece as Anne's isolation and desperation grows. It is of course built around the central, compelling performance of Jodie Turner-Smith, in every single scene and not afraid to shy away from Anne's sharper edges while remaining profoundly sympathetic, surrounded by a court of whispers, her existence on a knife's edge. We know only what Anne knows, and we see the smaller, heartbreaking moments usually passed over in other adaptations - in her grief following the stillbirth, Anne sits up in bed almost catatonic, milk leaking from her breasts, her attempt to walk back the infamous “dead man's shoes” comment, and the long days of her imprisonment.

Then there’s the beautiful costumes - in a court of dark furs, Anne wears bold primary colours and velvets that catch the light, that them become more subdued prints once she is in the Tower.

The other notable feature is the casting - described as "identity conscious" rather than colour-blind, representative of the othering of Anne and her relatives. Another standout is Thalissa Teixeira as Anne's cousin Madge Shelton, fleshed out as her confidant and the only one who remains true to her. It's a fresh perspective and a worthwhile watch, particularly for Turner-Smith's performance.

Cruella (dir. Craig Gillespie) - Spoilers. I wasn’t planning on bothering with this, but my sister wanted to watch it and I’d been told by several people that it was actually quite good. Look, I'm not saying they lied, I just think they were able to look past things that I was not.

Because actually, the core story has potential and the film has enjoyable elements (notably Emma Thompson), but simply falters every time they try and shoehorn references to the source material, and there are some truly egregious attempts - Roger is the Baroness’s lawyer for some reason? And writes the familiar Cruella De Vil song about how awful she is when she's just given him a puppy?

It doesn’t work as a prequel, or villain origin story, or even a reboot, since Cruella’s character journey is over by the end of the film (I have no idea what the purported sequel is going to be about) - in fact "Cruella" is just a persona Stone's Estella adopts (complete with a terrible affected accent), and there is no conceivable way for her to become the wannabe puppy murderer we know from the book or any of the film adaptations. Oh, and Pongo and Perdita are siblings! Well done, Disney. Slow clap for you.

Also, with a runtime of 2 hours 16 minutes it is Interminable and the whole thing is saddled with a terrible, unnecessary voiceover. Seriously, they should show this in film class to demonstrate when v/o hinders not helps.

They were likely going for a Maleficent-style re-imagining, but where that succeeded (somewhat) in a completely new retelling right down to a different ending to the source material, this wants to have it's cake and eat it too - it wants to have the Cruella aesthetic (the car, the hair, Hell Hall, the camp accent) but doesn't ever let her be a villain, or even the beginnings of a villain, but that's that's reason she's so memorable in the first place. It puts all the pieces in place for the story we know, and yet that story simply cannot happen with this version of Cruella.

In the end, it's a story of a fundamentally decent person who maybe goes a bit overboard in retaliating to bullies, and swindles a sociopath to reclaim what's rightfully hers. Cruella De Vil! I just couldn't get over this fundamental misapplication of the source material.

In many ways, it almost feels as if this was pitched as a sequel, with Cruella in the Baroness role. It would have fit a lot better with the aesthetic, the time period, and the concept of punk disruption of classic fashion. Or, it was a completely unrelated story of a plucky orphan who rises in the fashion world, that at some point was grafted onto the Dalmatians property. Either one would have worked better, frankly.

I am probably being overly harsh. If you switch off your brain and enjoy the clothes it’s fine. But honestly, if you want your live action Cruella fix, just watch the Glenn Close version, because it is superior in every way.

The Chair (season 1) - I watched this for Sandra Oh, and I was not disappointed, because I got to watch Sandra Oh. On the other hand...it's not that I didn't like it, I just...wish it had been better?

The story revolves around Ji-Yoon Kim, the first woman (let alone woman of colour) to become Chair of English at a "minor Ivy" university, as she tries to juggle the clash of old style academia and new, raise her daughter as a single mother, and deal with a series of controversies caused by one of her professors (and love interest). It's the latter I feel sucked up way too much time and was ultimately unsatisfying - particularly the end, which was played like a moral victory but really rubbed me the wrong way. If this gets a season 2, I hope they dump Jay Duplass' fuckup sadsack because hoo boy, am I sick of that kind of male character.

But Sandra Oh is wonderful.

Writing

The Lady of the Lake - chapter 5 posted, 4215 words (10,261)

Against the Dying of the Light 1954 words (11,976)

Here I Go Again - 414 words (12,948)

Novel - 1039 words (1484)

Total this month: 7,622

Total this year: 48,435

#roundup #reading watching writing #september roundup

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kolbisneat · 3 years

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MONTHLY MEDIA: December 2020

And so concludes another year! Maybe not the most ideal 12 months on record, but certainly memorable. I dunno. Anyway here’s how I wrapped up the year.

……….FILM……….

Gremlins (1984) Every time I watch this I just marvel at the fact that it was made. The practical effects are fantastic, the characters are so over-the-top that I think the Gremlin-sized mallet is the most believable part of the whole film. It just has that energy of a live-action cartoon and for that, I love it.

Gremlins (1990) This and Aliens fall under the category of sequels I didn’t like at first (for the hard turn in tone) but have come to really appreciate and enjoy. The opening with Bugs and Daffy really sets the tone for the whole thing and in hindsight, I appreciate how it manages to do all the same stuff that was loved about the original while making it feel bigger and different. Not necessarily better or worst, but definitely different.

Happiest Season (2020) It really felt like Harper was written to be the villain, right? Anyway it was a solid Christmas movie for a modern era, Kristen Stewart was a solid lead, and Dan Levy’s comedic timing is unreal. All-around fun watch.

The Family Stone (2005) Claire Danes and Luke Wilson are the only redeemable characters in this movie and while I don’t think they’d work out as a couple, it’s a shame they never get a chance to chat and just say “hey all of our family members are awful, right?!?” Actually Thad and Patrick are decent people, but I suppose they’re overshadowed by everyone else. Oof what a movie.

……….TELEVISION……….

Ted Lasso (Episode 1.01 to 1.10) Never have I more sincerely connected with a character’s outlook than Ted Lasso. It doesn’t matter if you know anything about Premier League soccer, what you get is an optimistic, heartfelt comedy that doesn’t punch up, punch down, or really punch at all. It’s gentle and kind and the sort of tv we need more of right now.

The Queen’s Gambit (Episode 1.01 to 1.07) Dang I thought I knew a little bit about chess but like...none of that helps here. It felt like a Rocky miniseries only chess instead of boxing (and I mean this all as a compliment). Given that the show doesn’t expect a knowledge of the grame, credit to the actors for communicating what’s happening in a game just through facial expressions. Worth checking out.

The Bachelorette (Episode 16.08 to 6.13) You know what, this was a pretty good season! It’s a shame we didn’t get any follow up after the proposal, but it was refreshing to see a group of guys who all got along and were just generally mature!

Mad Men (Episode 7.12 to 1.14) And so ends a pandemic-long viewing of Mad Men. First time watching it and I knew a little of how the series ended and honestly, I think it was fine! We got to check in with most of the cast and while I wish we could’ve kept going with these characters, it really did feel like they were all headed off in different directions anyway. Great series would highly recommend.

Neon Genesis Evangelion (1.07 to 1.11) It wasn’t until Asuka showed up that I realized this show is a metaphor for puberty and thus, is super horny all the time. Viewing through that lense, it’s an interesting allegory and the robot fights are cool.

The Mandalorian (Episode 2.01 to 2.08) For me, this show works best when it’s doing its own thing and just kinda existing in the world. The frog lady stuff, the random tasks, even the first ep did a good job of walking the line between fan service and the confidence to tell a new story. But dang if that last ep didn’t throw it all out the window. I’m just not a big enough Star Wars fan that I need to see all the old stuff again. It’s lazy writing and that’s what bums me out the most.

……….READING……….

Ring Shout by P. Djèlí Clark (Complete) Really great! I don’t read much modern(ish) day fantasy but the ideas and worldbuilding in this are so economic that it felt immediately familiar. Plus who doesn’t love the idea of a sword-wielding heroine cutting down monstrous klansmen?

Illuminatus Part III: Leviathan by Robert Shea and Robert Anton Wilson (Complete) After reading all three parts I can say, with confidence, that I have no idea who 90% of the characters are. Maybe it’s the similar names (John, George, Joe, etc.) or that every character talks like a philosophy student, but I just couldn’t separate them from each other. The plot and illuminati stuff was fun, but I’d seen so many great reviews and high praise that I was expecting it to be more fun.

Richard Stark's Parker: The Hunter by Darwyn Cooke (Complete) Darwyn Cooke’s effortlessly cool style elevates Stark’s pulp story to something that walks the line between classy and cruel. A murderous criminal is a tricky lead to follow but somehow you still want to see how it all shakes out. If you dig this first book then I recommend getting all 4 of Cooke’s interpretations of Stark’s work.

Scott Pilgrim Vol. 6: Scott Pilgrim’s Finest Hour by Bryan Lee O’Malley and Nathan Fairbairn (Complete) Still love this series after all these years and rereading them in color has been great. I still think the “glow”, as a twist/reveal, doesn’t really work and is somewhat convoluted, but it’s one misstep in what’s a consistently great run. The color version only adds to the quality of the book.

Dragon Ball 3-in-1 Vol. 2 by Akira Toriyama (Complete) This is the sort of light-hearted, good-natured comic I like to read around the holidays. There’s just something about a world where a criminal organization can be a mix of humans, bears, and a monster made of jelly that feels right, you know?

……….AUDIO……….

Song Exploder (Podcast) I’ve only listened to a handful of episodes so far but it’s really giving me a new perspective on music and the craft that goes into composing! I recommend starting with songs you like and then expanding from there.

……….GAMING……….

Neverland: A Fantasy Role-Playing Setting (Andrews McMeel Publishing) A small seasonal interlude! I’ve posted a longer recap on Reddit but the group has temporarily resolved the issue of the island flood and have moved on to an escaped Fairy causing wintery havok and significantly dropping the overall island temperature.

D&D Homebrew Adventure (Menace of Merlin) And so concludes the adventure! I think I could’ve made the final showdown against Merlin a little more climactic, but live and learn. Now we’re taking a break as the group makes up new characters to play in this world!

And that’s it! We did it! Goodbye 2020 and here’s to a bigger and brighter 2021!

Happy Thursday!

#Monthly Media #Rambles #Kolbisneat #Andrew Kolb

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tinydragonstories · 3 years

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Heat vs Steele Pt 3

Masterpost

Logan doesn’t see the other prince until later in the morning when he’s found marveling over the extensive library that Logan’s ancestors had built years before he was even conceived.

“Your father said I might find you here, Logan. I wasn’t expecting it to be the other way around” The tanned boy sends a bright smile over to him, which Logan promptly ignores. Instead, he goes over to a shelf to examine the books for a suitable title.

Roman pouts at the lack of reaction and comes up behind him, leaning over his shoulder a bit to peek at the book’s title. Logan turns and jumps back against the shelf in surprise, eyes wide and locked on Roman, his book clutched to his chest.

“Sorry! Sorry, I was just curious about what you chose!” Roman puts his hands up and backs off. Strange…

Logan merely retreats to the couch and sits down, opening his book to start reading. He can hear Roman sit next to him and try engaging him in conversation numerous times, but his only response are one word or quick answers. He manages to get to the rising action before Roman stops talking altogether. It isn’t long until a sly hand slides up his chest to his chin and gently tilts his head to face endearing, brown eyes, Roman’s free hand sneaking a bookmark in and snatching his book.

“Roman, I would appreciate if you gave that back.”

“But then I wouldn’t have these lovely star-filled galaxies looking at me,” Logan feels his heart skip a beat, but hides any indication.

“Won’t you forgive the intrusion this morning? I’m only here to make you happy!” Roman smiles softly and Logan finds himself wanting to freeze time for a moment longer before he remembered what he was supposed to be doing.

“Mi amour, you’ve entranced my heart with your whole being. Tell me, what can I do to prove myself worthy of your affections?” Roman leans closer to him, barely taking Logan’s hand as the one on his chin moves to his cheek.

“You can leave me alone!” Logan shoves him off and flees to his room, scratching at the itch on his covered arms. Servants dodge out of his way when they see his expression and the guards don’t try to stop him, despite their orders to keep the two together. He locks the door behind him and shouts for Virgil as he rips his shirt off as fast as he could, scratching at the scales growing on his shoulders and back. He’s soon relieved by a cold, wet cloth gently rubbing at them and he lowers his arms.

“Something got you riled up. Was it that prince? I bet it was.” He can practically hear the grin Virgil was surely portraying as he rolls his eyes.

“He attempted to kiss me.”

“Already? He should know that courting law states that PDA is forbidden.”

“We were alone, Virgil. In the library.”

“Oo! He’s got taste!” “Sir Virgil!” Logan tries to twist and look at him but the cloth pressing against his neck prevents any harsh words.

“I knighted you, and I can take it back!” he shivers, despite his words as the cloth trails down his back.

“But you won’t~” Virgil sing-songs and rubs at the newer scales,” you’ve mentioned that you don’t want anyone else hearing about your ailment and it definitely helps that I was there when it was inflicted, so just relax and let me help you.”

Logan grumbles but allows Virgil to continue rubbing his dead skin off of his -no, the- scales so it was less uncomfortable on the prince. He sighs in relief and Virgil chuckles,” do you want me to redo your chest and upper arms?”

“If you don’t mind. I believe some dust might have gotten under one and it’s quite noticeable.”

“Yeah, okay, Dictionary. I gotcha.” Logan rolls his eyes at Virgil’s nickname and turns around so he can work on Logan’s chest. They sit in silence as Virgil works, watching pieces of dead skin fall off the deep blue scales.

“Look, Lo, I know you aren’t having the best of times dealing with this, but at least they’re a pretty color, right?”

“Yes, they’re aesthetically pleasing, I suppose.” He sighs and looks away towards the window. He could see the forest spread out over his father’s land, past the rolling hills of farmland and pastures. The sun was high above the treeline, causing the deep green to brighten in the light. Shadows fled from the light of day and Logan finds himself understanding the tactical retreat.

‘Opposites, such a strange concept’, thought Logan,’ one can’t exist without the other, yet they’re constantly at ends with the other. What makes them opposites? What dictated that light and darkness could not coexist? Why must one always be smaller than the other? Candles and shadows, so different yet so similar at the same time.’

He looks out at the light and imagines what it must be like for the shadows suddenly pinned to objects and people. He imagines what his own shadow thinks, the dismay it must feel when the sun peeks over the horizon and it must return to his side to survive the day. Does the light feel the same? Was it leashed to candles and torches during the night? Clinging to humanity for dear life as without the fire, it would die? He felt his mind start itching for answers that he would never receive.

“Lo, you’re doing the thing again. Kinda weird dude.” Logan blinks and suddenly he’s back in his room, back with Virgil, and back in that insufferable situation with Roman.

“You alright?”

“Yes, Virgil, I am adequate. Would you retrieve the corset from the wardrobe?” Logan pulls his shirt back on and buttons it up.

“You’re going to dress up?!”

“I’m going to attempt to divert his affections. If it does not work, I will be mildly uncomfortable at worst. If it does, he will leave by tomorrow morning.” The prince watches as his personal guard comes back and starts tying the laces with expert fingers

“Alright, Lo. I trust you.” Logan’s breath is stolen as the corset suddenly tightens around his stomach,” though I fail to see how thinning your waist is going to remedy the problem.”

What if it only made Roman try harder?

Logan’s silent for a moment,” I’m not sure. All I know is that he touched my waist when we were alone and I did not enjoy his burning touch.”

“Logan, he’s human, not a fire elemental.”

“I know, Virgil. It doesn’t make sense for his touch to have been that warm nor for my skin to tingle after I retreated-“

“Ran away.”

“Retreated. It was a tactical retreat.”

“Yeah, yeah, whatever you say, Lover Boy. Get out there and annoy that pesky prince,” Virgil chuckles and steps back to allow Logan to move once more.

“I assure you, Virgil, I have no interest-“ the guard interrupts him by shoving him out of the room and locking the door behind them.

“It doesn’t matter if you do or not. He clearly holds something for you and I’m going to make sure his pretty little fingers stay off of my crown prince.”

“Logan, my darling!”

Both males groan inwardly and look at each other at the sound of the foreign prince.

“I have aquired flowers to apologize for my actions in the library. I hope you accept these as a token of my affections and deepest apologies.” Bluebells were lifted above Roman’s head as the prince kneels at Logan’s feet,” I noticed you seem to like blue, so I went to find the bluest flowers I could pick for you!”

“Roman, -Virgil stop growling at him- I accept your apology, however I ask that you give these to maidens in the town as I am mildly allergic to their pollen.” Logan gently pushes down the flowers and watches Roman lift his head, locking eyes with him.

The prince grins and nods eagerly,” of course! I will return to your side as quickly as I can, mi amour!”

Logan nods,” then you are free to go.”

Roman races off with the flowers, practically skipping, and Logan chuckles in light amusement.

“You never told me you were allergic to bluebells.” Virgil looks up at him suspiciously and Logan shrugs.

“I must have developed it rather recently then.”

Virgil laughs and shakes his head,” if you wanted him gone, you could’ve just said so. No need to get his hopes up with this.”

“Now, I never said that I wanted him to leave quite yet. I’m rather starting to enjoy this game of chess he’s started. He’s not entirely bad at it either, quite the opponent.”

“Logan, was that your way of saying you’re interested?” Virgil stifles a chuckle as the prince sputters in indignation.

“Absolutely not! What ever gave you that idea?!”

“Okay, Logan, calm down. I was just teasing! Let’s go see your father, I believe he’s looking for you.”

Logan’s fire calms down and he leads Virgil away to the throne room, his guard jabbing at the metaphorical buttons that he knew Logan would react to. The guards allowed them through the doors and Logan kneels at the King’s feet,” yes, father, what did you need me for?”

“Logan, I can see that this is taking much too long. Tell me, how much do you know about Prince Roman?”

Logan narrows his eyes suspiciously,” not much, admittedly, except that he’s a major flirt.”

‘And a massive thorn in my side’

“Ah, so I was correct. We will need to speed this courting up so I will be hosting a kingdom-wide ball for you two. The nobles and fellow royalty will be attending so you’ll be attending to their children.”

“Must I, father? You know how I hate their ideas of small talk.”

“Yes, Logan, and you will be wearing the suit that the tailor makes. I’m thinking red on white with a black embellishment.” He looks Logan over and holds his hand up to silence his protests,” I’ve been lenient enough with you, this ball is a chance for you to build relations with the other kingdoms despite your current hold over them all. Yes, they currently owe Elmaria a debt from the winter, but that could change with a flip of Fate’s coin. Your best bet is to build strong relations with other countries so you have aid if the kingdom needs it.” No

“I understand, but as you know, I am inadequate when it comes to social situations. I am severely behind the others when it comes to the social aspect of ruling.” Logan stands and brushes himself off.

“That’s why I allowed Roman to court you. For where you are weak, he is strong. He is incredible at social events and loves the spotlight whereas you tend to be more of a background, technical character. The matchup is perfect!”

“Father, he is also quite annoying. He has not left my side since last night and is most likely waiting outside this room for me.”

“So you feel because of him?” The king smirks and Logan quickly corrects himself.

“I never said that. He merely makes it difficult to accomplish my allotted duties and I don’t appreciate it.”

“Alright, whatever you say, son. You’re dismissed.”

Logan bows once more and walks back before leaving the room, the oaken doors closing behind him. The king smiles softly and shakes his head,” that boy…”

Logan sighs softly once the doors shut behind him and looks up at the prince standing there waiting for him,” Roman, I see you’ve returned.”

“I could not keep myself from your side for much longer, my dear. Come, allow me to make up for the loss of time.” He takes Logan’s hand and barely manages to press a kiss to the back of it before it’s ripped from his grasp. Logan holds it behind his back and sighs through his nose,” I suppose we should make it seem like we tolerate each other’s presence. Where would you like to go? We have the gardens, the castle, the forest, plains, and-”

“Mi amour, I only wish to stay by your side.” Roman smiles tenderly at him and Logan rolls his eyes.

”Alright, I get it,” Roman chuckles,” how about we go horseback riding in the forest? Perhaps we will stumble upon an adventure and fall in love along the journey!”

“The likelihood of that occurring is too low to consider, but fine. We will go horseback riding and plan something else for this afternoon.” Logan walks with Roman back to the guest’s suite and bids him farewell for the moment before returning to his chambers.

“How’d it go with princey?”

Logan jumps at the voice behind him before relaxing,” Virgil, why do you insist on scaring me every time I enter this room? Anyway, it went alright. He apologized and insisted we go horseback riding in the forest. You-”

“Will be coming along,” Virgil gives him a look of respected hostility and Logan chuckles a breathy laugh.

“Of course, I would not be able to attend without you at my side.” He stands still as Virgil unties the ribbons and removes his corset to allow Logan to breathe. His servant rushes around to gather his riding clothes as Logan undresses himself and lays out his previous outfit on the bed. Virgil returns to his side and helps dress the prince for his ride in a white tunic, tan riding pants, a blue vest and a generic brown cloak. Logan sits and starts tying his boots as Virgil switches his own outfit out for a dark aesthetic and a black mask that covers his lower face.

“Virgil, I don’t really think this is necessary. You’ll overheat and we’ll have to return early.”

The guard thinks for a moment and takes off his dark coat.

“I assume that’s the best answer I’ll receive. Come, let’s collect Roman.” Logan leads Virgil out the door and down the hall a bit to the guest suites where Roman was waiting for them outside his room with Patton by his side. They exchange cordial greetings and Roman kisses Logan’s hand again before the (barely) taller of the two leads them all to the stables, his answers to Roman’s prodding statements quick and to the point.

“My dear, where are we going?”

“Simply down a path my family enjoys taking when we need a moment to think. It’s nothing special, really. Why do you ask?”

“I was wondering if it was necessary for our servants to come along. I was originally going to have Patton remain behind but asked him to come along when I saw yours coming.” Logan notices his eyes flick nervously to Virgil, who’s listening to Patton, but clearly keeping an eye on the two royals.

“Virgil’s presence is always required when I leave the castle, however Patton’s is not if you wish to allow him to remain behind.”

Roman looks back at the servant and quietly asks what he’d like to do. Virgil and Roman switch places unintentionally and the guard looks up at his charge,” what’s our pathing for this ride?”

“Just a quick trot down the normal path -you should know it well enough by now- and we’ll turn around before we reach the old castle. The first one that the royal family built after staking their claim on the land.”

Virgil nods and is silent for a moment,” you aren’t afraid he’ll find, you know, your place?”

“Virgil, how likely is it that you’re going to allow us anywhere near those old ruins? We’ll be perfectly safe and he won’t see anything of importance. Besides, it's in the tower and he’ll clearly see that it’s unsafe to proceed across the drawbridge.”

“Drawbridge? My love, are we going to see your country’s first castle?!” Roman beams and looks at Logan with hopeful, bright eyes.

“Yes, you know of it?” He looks over at the other in curiosity,” I was not aware others knew of it.”

“Of course I know of it! I studied your country’s history so I could have something to discuss with you if we needed a topic. Besides, it’s such a rich, passionate history, it was more like reading a fairytale! The castle was known as the world’s most impenetrable fortress as every attack was absorbed and returned tenfold by the ballistas and archers hidden behind the trapdoors that protected them from any incoming fire. The moat used to be filled with seawater and your ancestors made a pact with the merpeople that allowed them to swim in the moat to defend against any foot soldiers in exchange for land materials they wouldn’t otherwise be able to access. It’s said that one day the child of the Lightheart family will return and bring forth a power hidden inside its walls so powerful, it can raze an entire country!”

Logan and Virgil share a worried glance before turning their attention back to Roman,” I see you’ve done your research. Yes, we are visiting that very castle, however we will not be able to cross the moat. The drawbridge is raised and it isn’t safe to cross the waters after the merpeople went back to the sea.”

“I see, then we must at least explore the surrounding land! Perhaps there are secret passageways leading to the interior that were never discovered!” Roman tugs Logan along down the hall faster and their servants had to run to keep up.

Logan’s hand went to his circlet to ensure it remained where it was and trips over his own feet trying to keep up with the enthusiastic prince. They slow down once they reach the stables and a stable hand brings the two horses out to the princes while another brings two others for Virgil and Patton. Logan’s was black and had a crescent moon between her eyes while Roman’s was pure white. Virgil’s dapple grey mare nips at Patton’s creme steed. Each rider takes the reins of their mount and swings up into the saddle. Roman practically bouncing in the saddle at the prospect of their destination. Logan ensures everyone is situated before clicking his tongue and riding out the gates with his small group behind him.

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h-sleepingirl · 5 years

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“9 Persisting Misconceptions About Hypnosis”

A zine by sleepingirl and GleefulAbandon

(Access the downloadable and nicely formatted Google Doc here!)

Hey, there! Have you been turned on to the wonders of hypnokink? Do you feel like you've just had a bucket of shibboleths and tips and bits of wisdom dumped over your head, and they are now slowly dripping down your back? Are you thinking to yourself, "OK, I am finally getting the hang of this erotic hypnosis thing?"

Not so fast! Odds are a lot of the information you've received is, while given in good faith, mired in assumptions about the nature of hypnosis and the human mind that are not empirically true! And the kicker about a practice that takes advantage of suggestibility is that buying into these can make them more true! How’s that for a mental rut?

Here are 9 myths about hypnosis you are likely to encounter in your freaky journey!

(Full disclosure: We are experienced hypnotic players who are constantly exploring and growing, and we recognize that not everyone may share our perspective on all of these. But when we accept the oft-repeated principles we hear as incontrovertible truth without questioning them, we risk building a wall between us and further learning about the amazing, weird things we can do with our brains! This is not meant to disparage any person for their beliefs or experiences, and we welcome feedback and discussion!)

1. All hypnosis is self-hypnosis.

Yep, and all pain you feel when someone punches you in the thigh is your own brain making pain happen. CURSE YOU, BRAIN!

This tends to be an idiom that can cause more harm than good. It’s clearly not an empirical statement (how could it be?) though it is often taken as one. On the surface, it’s well-intentioned and trying to convey that subjects have agency and hypnosis isn’t mind control like you see in the movies. However, while it's good to know that subjects have the ability to cultivate a real sense of self-sufficiency, it minimizes connection with the hypnotist and the power that can be exchanged. Hypnosis is collaborative, and the hypnotist’s behavior absolutely affects trance, whether positively, or in bad situations, negatively! It takes two to do hypnosis with two, full stop.

When you hear this phrase, ask yourself, what is really being communicated here?

2. Hypnosis is distinctly different than meditation, subspace, etc.

Different how, exactly? Sexiness is not sufficient here, kids.

Well, here's a whole can of worms: Hypnosis as defined by hypnokink practitioners tends to be a wider umbrella than the clinical definition of hypnosis. There is also the concept of hypnosis as an altered state and then the concept of hypnosis as a set of practices. Pretty much any altered state could be called hypnosis when kinksters use it in hypnokink to commit dastardly deeds. Same with the (extraordinarily broad) set of practices that we take advantage of to fuck with brains.

Here’s the thing: hypnosis isn’t just one solid thing or state with one solid set of rules. Trance and brainfuckery are dynamic! We don’t really even have a great way of defining suggestibility, because we know that shoving someone into an altered state and then telling them, “You will experience xyz” is not really sufficient. And of course, a lot of stuff can get done outside of a traditional “trance.” Where is the line?

Spoilers: Any line we make is subjective. Meditation, when you potentially put yourself in an altered state and change the way you focus pretty much fits under that umbrella, too.

3. You can't make someone do something they "don't want to do" or go against "core values" with hypnosis.

We do things we don't want to do all the time, starting each day from when we wake up when our alarms go off. People drink alcohol and do things they wouldn't have otherwise done. People are talked into buying things they don’t want or need, or making complex decisions that don’t always have their best interests at heart. Not to mention that our broad-strokes “core beliefs” are changeable, sometimes with just a simple shift in perspective.

Human beings are dynamic and complex and exciting creatures, and we don't have a black box inside of us with ideas that are immutable to us. Change in belief and behavior is a part of how we function, and that’s WITHOUT hypnosis! Once again, this myth is well-intentioned, but an oversimplification that can backfire if someone is trying to process why they experienced a hypnotic scene differently than they thought they would.

4. Depth is the key to suggestibility.

Here's an idea: A swear jar but you have to put money in every time someone asks if they were "deep enough." Depth is a metaphor, but it's a useful one! It relates to your own subjective trance experience and how you experience intensifying it, which is hugely important self-knowledge. But it is not quantifiable, and there is not a simple correlation between depth and ability to access more trance phenomena. As with many things in hypnosis, it’s different for everyone and can be different at different times based on a huge number of variables.

And on that note…

5. Suggestibility scales are legit.

"But wait!" You might say, "These have been studied! What about things like the Stanford Susceptibility Scale?"

They're bad.

Academics, in good faith, tried to impose objective rules on altered states that run on the subjectivity and diversity of the human mind. People are different. Subjects are different. Alas, researchers at Stanford in 1959 (yes, that long ago) were mystified by this concept. And still, so are some today.

Really, Stanford peeps, amnesia is the most hypnotized a person can get? Some folks lose memories in trance right away but won't take to certain hallucinations. And some hallucinations are easier for some folks than others. Trying to create hypnotic rules for how hypnotizable you are is a losing game.

But speaking of different kinds of hallucinations...

6. Working with someone’s “primary modality” is the key to effective hypnosis.

The idea that of the five senses we each have one primary one that aids in our learning and that is best used to create hypnotic states and phenomena is not only limiting, it’s been debunked time and time again. The concept of “modalities” that is so prevalent in the erotic hypnosis world comes directly from NLP, where Richard Bandler and John Grinder stated that we had primary modalities — a “Preferred Representational System.” However, just like with learning styles, study after study after study has found no supporting evidence of this. In fact, in the ‘80s (yes, that long ago), Bandler himself said that this idea was no longer emphasized in NLP (regardless of the fact that it is still pervasive today).

And beyond this, yeah, you could spend your time using only visual cues and visual words and creating visual hallucinations, or you could actually utilize multiple senses, because spoiler alert that is how human beings experience the world. You're not trying to find a secret code that unlocks a shortcut to being a better subject, you're Dora the Goddamned Explorer and it's not just about finding the thing at the end; it's about chilling with Boots and Map.

7. “iM tOo AnAlYtIcAl To Be HyPnOtIzEd”

Also going in the swear jar is anyone saying they have trouble being hypnotized because they're "too analytical." Bruh. Hypnosis is not a game of chess wherein the hypnotist out-logics the subject to get them to comply. It's engaging your brain and letting you do more with it than you thought possible. This is definitely not downplaying the experience of people who have had a difficult time getting the experiences they are searching for, but more about The System(ic misunderstanding pervading hypnokink culture) getting us all down.

Being “thinky” doesn’t mean someone can’t be hypnotized (hypnosis =/= not thinking or altered thinking), it just means that you both use what you’ve got — hypnotist AND subject. Analyzing something doesn’t make it impossible to trance. Hypnosis should not be synonymous with “letting go.” It’s about changes in focus and engagement, oftentimes really subtle, especially for subjects who have preconceived notions of what it’s going to feel like. It’s dynamic, it doesn’t mean laser focus, and it sure as hell doesn’t mean blank-minded.

Subjects: Learn to love the way you analyze; notice shifts and changes, use it to be open to learning about how hypnosis feels for you as opposed to what you expect it to feel like. Understanding what your real subjective responses are is key to growing.

Hypnotists: While it might be helpful for some people, stop assuming that you necessarily have to overload or confuse them to get to the holy hypnotic grail of mindlessness; utilize their internal responses for the trance!

Here's a secret: If a hypnotist calls someone a "difficult subject," they mean they failed to connect with their partner in a way that they deemed hypnotic enough. This is on them, not the subject.

8. Your subconscious is like a quiet roommate chilling inside your head.

The metaphor of your subconscious (or unconscious mind) as someone with whom you can communicate is a useful one for a lot of people! It can put you in touch with how you're feeling and processing, and create fun surprises no one might expect. But it's just that: a metaphor. Your brain is not a director and an actor; it’s a beautifully complex amalgam of experiences and observations. You can play with treating your subconscious as a person, but recognize that there's not literally a man behind a curtain, and recognize that your interpretation of it might be flawed (i.e., don’t use your “unconscious mind” to negotiate under the assumption that this conscious personification is faultless and somehow knows better than you do).

9. Abreactions.

This is a huge one, and another one where the hypnosis scene has deviated from psychology (sometimes a good thing!). Clinically, an abreaction is a response with some emotional connection, and is in fact often used as a tool to create breakthroughs in therapy. In the hypnokink Scene, “abreaction” has also become a boogeyman, a synonym for "freak out.”

Can folks freak out during a hypnosis scene? Sure! Can they freak out during an impact scene? Of course! Can they freak out in the dairy aisle of the supermarket because the wrong song starts playing on the loudspeaker? Also, yes. But an abreaction isn't technically synonymous with freak-out. Technically, a giggle-fit during hypnosis can be an abreaction.

Here’s the thing: it might even be OK to appropriate the term “abreaction” to mean “negative reaction” in the hypnokink community, but we have to stop making that interchangeable with “unexpected reaction.” Of course a negative reaction is unexpected. But that doesn’t mean all unexpected reactions are negative. They happen absolutely all the time in hypnosis; demonizing all of them is unhealthy and unrealistic.

Well-intentioned practitioners of erotic hypnosis have put all their safety eggs in one basket: Caution against causing an abreaction, end the scene when you do, and you've accounted for the worst. But this is a scene that traffics in suggestibility; when you make out abreactions to be this looming, awful risk, you bring them to the fore, and when both players assume that that means an unexpected reaction is cause for panic, it creates unwarranted anxiety and problems. Not to mention that it greatly hinders the breadth and depth of what you can achieve together.

In short, you can and should learn to navigate emotional vulnerability and be confident and flexible in handling your partners’ responses, no matter how unexpected or intense they are. We're here for those reactions, folks, and not all of them are to be feared and fixed.

Sleepingirl is a switchy writer, presenter, and podcaster who joined the public kink scene in 2012. She’s had a life-long hypnofetish and is way too interested in brainwashing. She did the doodles for this zine, and look out for her Brainwashing Book coming soon! Check out her hypnokink podcast at twohypchicks.simplecast.fm and follow her: Twitter @h_sleepingirl, Tumblr @h-sleepingirl, FetLife @sleepingirl

GleefulAbandon is a queer, submissive hypnofetishist. She joined the BDSM/Hypnokink Scene in 2012, and teaches and writes about hypnosis from the subject’s perspective. She’s a sucker for a pocket watch. @gleefulabandon

#hypnosis #hypnokink #my writing

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ellib0t · 4 years

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What are your top 5 favorite Elliot/Mr. Robot scenes/moments?

Ooo this is a good ask, thank you! Sorry I took so long to answer;;

I've gotta say, a lot of my favourite Elliot/Mr Robot scenes are in season 2. But for the sake of order I'll start from season 1.

1) I like their ferris wheel scenes together but tbh the first scene that really got me with these two is when they're due to take down steel mountain and Elliot is going through withdrawal and they end up hauled up in a shitty motel somewhere and Elliot wakes up thinking he's alone and that everyone has left him and Mr Robot is right there and he says "I'm not going anywhere, kiddo".

2) season 2. The first scene in season 2 where I was like YES! Here 👏 we 👏 go👏 was the scene where Mr Robot pulls a gun on Elliot. As the audience, we had not clue what was going on when Elliot got shot. There's a moment where I held my breath and then Elliot slowly sits up and gives him a look like and says "are you done?" Like "yup. You've tried that already, what more have you got old man?".

3) chess scene. Didn't anyone ever tell you that if you see a chess scene in film and television, it's a metaphor for "and then they fucked"? The struggle for control is one of the best parts about these two. The line "I want to be with you, elliot" really got me.

4) I really enjoyed the sitcom episode. But the scene that got me after all that was when Elliot is lying on the floor of that dusty old basement, all beaten and broken. And after all the angst and fighting, Mr robot is right there. And he holds his hand and talks to him. And then Elliot gets up and falls into his arms and he thanks Mr Robot for protecting him.

5) I can see it now, I'm already going to list more than 5. Fave scene in season 3...tbh, the whole episode of Elliot trying to make it into the E corp building and stop the explosion from happening and he's having to fight against Mr Robot. Like, oddly, we don't really get to see Mr robot physically until the very end, but his presence is there the whole time. It's very clever and powerful.

6) I figured I had to pick a fave for season 4 too and well...I have two. The scene where Mr Robot is clutching his hat and apologising for keeping secrets from Elliot about his trauma. And he asks him to not shut him out and he holds Elliot while he cries.

7) The scene where they exchange "I love you's". It was a really pleasant surprise to hear it, out loud. And it really warmed my heart. It felt like a real moment of acceptance and peace. It felt freeing. Like Elliot finally realised the whole reason Mr Robot existed. Is because he needed to be loved and cared for by someone, but also to love himself and be kind to himself.

Bonus points for:

Season 1, The railing scene. Mr Robot gradually gaining Elliot's trust only to push him over the edge. Now that I think about it, it feels like a kind of echo or foreshadowing for the fact that he was the one who made Elliot jump to safety out of the window...and listening to Elliot (MM) recall the story all wrong must be frustrating.

Season 4, the scene where MM has been thrown into the world he created for Elliot and he's standing on the beach waiting for Angela and Mr Robot shows up and hands him his hoodie. Like it's such a simple gesture of protection, especially after all the angst and "this is for your own good" for 4 seasons.

Season 2, the scene where mr robot is eating an apple while Elliot talks to Gideon. Dramatic as always. Almost satire in that he says the words from Elliot's diary...as if mimicking and mocking him.

Season 2. KEYBOARD SMASH and YOU NEED TO JERK IT scenes in Ray's office.

#mr robot #elliot alderson #asks #text #ellibot #spoilers #mr robot spoilers #ask

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risksilica5-blog · 3 years

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Early use of the expression seems to be a lot more usual in Australia/NZ and UNITED STATES than England. The earliest clear reference I've found is for 'Goody Goody Gumdrop Ice-cream' which was marketed by the Baskin-Robbins ice-cream parlour shops in their early years, which was late 1940s/early 1950s in U.S.A.. Somewhere else it is recommended that Reward Goody Gumdrop Gelato first showed up in the USA in 1965. There likewise appears to be a typical use the expression for ice-cream consisting of gumdrop sweets in New Zealand. Using the reward gumdrop expression alike speech would almost certainly have pre-dated its usage as a branding tool for ice-cream.

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This is an adaptation of the earlier expression to be 'all over' something or a person definition to be obsessed or absorbed by. A similar expression to the 'affordable match' metaphor is 'around him/her like a breakout' which is flexible in terms of sex, and again likens individual interest to something certainly 'on' the sufferer, like a suit or a rash. I'm keen to find the earliest use of the 'affordable fit' expression - please tell me if you recall its use prior to 1990, or far better still can recommend a substantial renowned very early priced estimate example which could have established it. Chambers Thesaurus of Etymology differs a little with the OED in recommending that charisma replaced the earlier English spelling charism around 1875. The preference of the 1953 Much shorter OED for the words charism as well as charm recommends that prominent use charm came much behind 1875. Chambers says the Greek origin words are personal appeal and also charizesthai, from charis as well as pertaining to chairein, meaning rejoice. According to Chambers once again, the adjective charismatic appeared in English around, from the Greek charm, indicating favours given.

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Words likewise appeared early in South African English from Afrikaans - more evidence of Dutch beginnings. This table meaning of board is just how we obtained words boardroom also, and the popular very early 1900s furniture piece called a sideboard. See likewise the expression 'sweep the board', which additionally refers to the table meaning of board. Numerous recommendations have actually been mentioned in Arabic and also Scriptural writings to suggest that it was originally based on Center- and also Far-Eastern custom-mades, in which blood rituals symbolised bonds that were more powerful than household ones. ' The blood of the commitment is stronger than the water of the womb' is an explanation priced quote by some analysts.

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If anybody recognizes of any type of certain references which may support this concept and also to connect it with the Black Irish expression please inform me. This usage is more likely to be a misunderstanding and misuse of an earlier definition of the 'black Irish' expression, based upon black significance angry. for the birds - useless, unstable facts, unacceptable or trivial, implying that something is just for weaker, unintelligent or minimal individuals - American origin according to Kirkpatrick as well as Schwarz Thesaurus of Idioms. Decharne's Thesaurus of Hipster Jargon actually recommendations a quote from the Hank Janson novel Chicago Chick" 'It's insane man,' I informed him, 'Genuine insane. Strictly for the birds.'" - yet doesn't state whether this was the original usage. Maker's Dictionary of Expression as well as Myth definitely makes no mention of it which suggests it is no earlier than 20th century. The term alludes the small minds of birds, as well as expressions such as 'bird-brain', as a metaphor for individuals of limited intelligence. amateur - non-professional or un-paid, or much more lately an insulting term meaning unprofessional - the word stems from the same spelling in Old French 'amateur' significance 'enthusiast', originally meaning in English an enthusiast of a task.

Earliest use of break definition good luck was primarily U.S.A., very first videotaped in 1827 according to Partridge. boss - manager - while there are misconceptions suggesting beginnings from a particular Mr Boss, the actual derivation is from the Dutch 'baas', implying master, which was taken on into the United States language from Dutch inhabitants in the 17th century.

Incidentally Brewer also suggests that the Camel, 'ruch', became what is currently the Rook in chess. It seems that playing cards were initially called 'the Books of the Four Kings', while chess was called 'the Video game of the Four Kings'. Maker likewise mentions a reference to a specific Jacquemin Gringonneur having actually "repainted as well as guilded three packs for the King in 1392." Unassociated yet remarkably, French jargon for the horse-drawn omnibus was '4 banal' which equated after that to 'parish stove' - what a fantastic expression. Bottom likewise mentions a kick up the backside, being an additional technique of propulsion as well as ejection in such conditions. Partridge/OED suggests the luck element most likely originates from billiards, in which the initial shot breaks the initial development of the spheres and also leaves either possibility or difficulty for the challenger. This feeling is supported by the break meaning break or leisure, as in tea-break.

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resting duck - very easy target or something that is prone or defenceless to assault- an allegory from shooting field sporting activity, in which a resting or hatching duck, would certainly be an easier target than one flying in the air. Oddly there is extremely little etymological referral to the extremely typical 'sitting duck' expression. doolally - mad or crazy - initially an armed forces term from India. Soldiers at the end of their term were sent to Deodali, a town near Bombay, to wait to be delivered residence. The hot climate, aggravation and dullness triggered odd practices among the delayed soldiers, who were claimed to be dealing with 'doolally touch', which was the complete expression. In the late 1600s a domino was a hood, attached to a cape used by a priest, likewise a shroud used by a female in mourning, as well as later a domino described a cape with a mask, put on at masqueredes. This was from French, stemming initially from standard spiritual Domino references in priestly language.

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Interestingly the old Indo-European origin word for club is glembh, very similar to the origin word for golf. expat/ex-pat - individual living or working abroad - the contemporary 'expat' (as well as increasingly hyphenated 'ex-pat') expression is commonly believed to be a reducing of 'ex-patriot', yet this is not real. Around 1800 the migrant word came to be made use of as a noun to indicate an expatriated person, but still after that in the feeling of a banished individual, as opposed to one that had willingly moved abroad. The early use the expatriate word described the loss of citizenship from one's homeland, not a short-lived or relatively easy to fix situation. Making use of migrant in its contemporary interpretation seems to have actually begun around 1900, as well as was popularised by Lilian Bell's unique 'The Migrant', regarding rich Americans living in Paris, published in 1902. Purely talking for that reason, the proper type is deportee, not ex-pat.

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In 1968 the pop group 1910 Fruitgum Firm had a little UK graph success with a song called Goody Goody Gumdrops, and also there is no doubt that the expression was strongly developed in the UK, U.S.A. and Aus/NZ by the 1960s. There is some association with, as well as certainly some impact from the 'Goody Two Shoes' expression, in that the meaning is essentially buffooning or putting down a gain of some type. Golf is a Scottish word from the 1400s, at which time words gouf was also made use of. Related to these, kolfr is an old Icelandic word for a rod or blunt arrowhead. All these derive eventually from Proto-Germanic kulb, in turn from the old Indo-European word glebh. The primary point of view recommends that words golf perhaps entered Scottish language from Dutch, where comparable words were made use of specifically describing video games involving hitting a round with a club.

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dead end - dead-end road, a road shut at one end/blind alley - this extensively utilized English street indicator and also term is from the French, meaning the same, from cul and also cavity. By the way, calling someone a 'cul' in French equates to the disparaging English term 'arse', given that cul also means the bottom or behind of an individual. I am informed also that cul de cavity is regarded as a rather repulsive expression by the French when they see it on British street signs; the French use instead the term 'deadlock' by themselves dead-end street indicators. The orginal usage originates from the French créole, from Portuguese crioulo, related the Portuguese verb criar, to increase, from Latin creare, indicating produce. The name 'Socks' was instead pronounced the winner, as well as the feline properly named.

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A supposed John Walker, an outside staff of the firm Longman Clementi as well as Carbon Monoxide, of Cheapside, London, is one such individual referenced by Cassells vernacular thesaurus. scam - deceive deliberately - the hoodwink word is initial recorded in 1562 according to Chambers. It simply stems from the actual meaning and also make use of to describe covering the eyes with a hood or blindfold.

It particularly connects to individual enthusiasms and also feeling of fulfillment or fate. The fulfillment of personal objective - past academic and adult conditioning. A basis of analyzing whether you've maximized your life, when it's far too late to have an additional go. As at September 2008 Google lists 97 uses of this word on the whole web, yet most/very a lot of those seem to be typing errors inadvertently signing up with words life and also wishing, which do not count. I'm open to tips or insurance claims of first usage and also source. Occasionally you can see the birth or early advancement of a brand-new word, prior to virtually any person else, as well as definitely prior to the thesaurus. If you are reading this in 2008 or perhaps very early 2009, after that this is perhaps one of those events.

Words mews is in fact from Falconry, in which predators such as goshawks were used to capture rabbits and various other game. Falconry came to be exceptionally preferred in medieval England, and was a much-loved sporting activity of aristocracy till the 1700s. Mew was initially a verb which defined a hawk's moulting or losing plumes, from Old French muer, as well as Latin mutare, suggesting to change. Mew then came to be a name for the hawk cage, and also described the technique of keeping a hawk shut away while molting. The imperial stables, initially established in Charing Cross London in the mid-1200s, were on the site of hawks mews, which triggered the word mews to transfer to stables. lifelonging/to lifelong - something meaningful yearned for every one of your life/or the verb sense of longing for something for your whole life - a lately progressed portmanteau word.

Today's metaphorical expression as well as definition 'to trick' established in the early 17thC from the earlier use of words to indicate 'hide' in the late 16thC. Her change is qualified by her having just a single shoe when inadequate, and also being provided a pair of footwear, which marked the beginning of her brand-new discovered as well as obviously enthusiastically self-proclaimed pleasure. The expression could be from as much back as the mid-1800s, given that 'goodie/goody' has been used to describe yummy food since then, which would have lent extra relevance to the significance of the expression. Also, words gumdrop as a name for the range of chewy sugared gum desserts appears to have gotten in American English speech in around 1860, according to Chambers. Nevertheless it's more probable that prominent use of goody gumdrops began in the mid-1900s, among kids, when mass-marketing of the sweets would have increased.

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Charisma, which most likely grew from charismatic, which grew from charm, had mostly trembled its spiritual associations by the mid 1900s, and also progressed its non-religious meaning of personal magnetism by the 1960s. Even more information concerning the origins as well as interpretations of personal appeal is on the personal appeal web page. Maker's view is that playing cards were developed from an Indian video game called 'The 4 Rajahs', which follows the idea that the roots of playing cards were Eastern. In The Four Rajahs game the having fun items were the King; the General (referred to as 'fierche'); the Elephant (' phil'); the Horsemen; the Camel (' ruch'); and also the Infantry. Likewise Brewer claims that the Elephant, 'phil', was exchanged 'fol' or 'fou', indicating Knave, comparable to the 'Jack'.

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Chambers in fact contains a whole lot even more information about the variations of the diet words relating to food especially, for instance that words dietician appeared as late as 1905. It is interesting that the original Greek definition as well as derivation of the diet - training course of life - relates so strongly to the modern concept that 'we are what we eat', which diet regimen is so very closely connected to how we feel as well as behave as people. The modern-day diet regimen word currently resonates plainly with its real original definition.

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The images of a black cloak and also mask eye-holes subsequently gave the motivation for the dominoes video game to be so-called - in both languages the video game was originally called domino, not dominoes. Surprisingly, the name of the game showed up in Italy also later on, around 1830, from France, full circle to its Latin origins. So, while the lord as well as master origins exist and also no doubt aided the adoption of the name, the exact organization is to a black cloak as well as mask, as opposed to lordly supremacy or the winning objective of the game. Words came into the English language by concerning 1200, and 1450, from the Greek, via Latin, then French. The diet meaning assembly was likewise affected by Latin dies significance days, relating to journal as well as timing. cellulite treatments produced the German tag as it shows up in the words for assembly, Reichstag, Bundestag, and Landtag.

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The terms 'cookie collapsing' (pertaining to breasts as well as sexual intercourse - use your imagination), 'cookie duster', as well as 'cookie crumbs' (Bill Clinton's ruin) extend the the sex-related connotations into even more salacious region. The paradox is naturally that no-one would have been any the smarter concerning these significances had the Blue Peter monitoring not sought to shield all of us. Using words idea - as a metaphor based upon the round of thread/maze tale - referring to addressing a secret is initial taped in 1628, and also previously as clew in 1386, in Chaucer's Legend of Good Women. The allusion is to the clingy as well as apparent nature of an inexpensive suit, most likely of a tacky/loud/garish/ unappetizing layout. When it comes to adulation there may also a suggestion of toadiness or sycophancy.

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ship-obsessions · 4 years

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Welcome to Bardo (& Nakara)

So I FINALLY feel like the season is picking up on the story in Season 7 (thank god) and the lull of the first few episodes—excluding the brilliance of episode 2 The Garden bc I LOVE my found family of Diyoza, Hope and Auntie O—to set the scene is starting to build and pay off.

As always there are so many different storylines, this season taking place across 4(!!) different planets, but as it seems to be the general consensus my fav plot is exploring the mystery of Bardo and the anomaly. I’ve been genuinely surprised at how much I’ve liked the Echo/Hope/Gabriel dynamic (until Echo’s newfound rage killing spree) and adding Octavia/Diyoza to the mix this past episode is *chef’s kiss*. I’m a little annoyed at how Clarke has been sidelined so far this season but I’m hoping (and assuming) that she will be back in the main spotlight when her group reaches Bardo (hopefully next episode) and combines forces with the Bardo “rescue” crew (lol they haven’t really had many successful rescues yet). I’m HIGH KEY annoyed at the lack of Bellamy of course, but even though I’m positive he isn’t actually dead it’s still frustrating for him to be off-screen. I hope Clarke breaks down when she finds out he’s supposedly dead (pls from Octavia) and everyone can see how much she loves and cares for him—sensing a callback to her conversation with Raven this episode “how do you do it? you never break” (or maybe that was foreshadowing...). Loved that moment btw. So glad Princess Mechanic was forced to talk one-on-one this episode and get to a mutual understanding and hopefully a step closer toward friendship. I would have loved even more heartfelt confessions and bonding between them (like if Clarke admitted when she did almost break ie. alone on Earth and in both situations with Bellamy and Madi) but I know there’s only so much time in the episode *sigh*.

I can’t even break down the shitshow going on in Sanctum... I’ve been against the whole repetitive narrative of “us” v “them” factions that don’t seem to have any common sense and focus on petty fights rather than understanding the greater problem at hand (I know they aren’t aware of it yet but like chill out and get along for a few days ffs). Although Insta is absolutely BOSS and the perfect leader in Clarke’s absence. I also loved Madi’s protective aunt and uncles (Emori, Murphy and Jackson). Wow what a beautiful, dysfunctional delinquent family all grown up *sheds tear*. Can they all be back together at the farmhouse having another picnic already? Pls.

Anyways... super excited about the Second Dawn connection. Since it was confirmed that Cadogan and his bunker crew used the anomaly stone on Earth to travel to Bardo after the first apocalypse (makes sense that one cult transforms into another) I’m thinking that Eligius 3 were the “native Bardoans” because their mission left several years before the first apocalypse. Maybe they didn’t figure out how to survive? Or maybe Cadogan came and killed them and just passed down a retold version of history? Oooo I could totally see that with all the previous warped versions of history that made it to future generations.

Still holding out hope for Bellarke since we’re still in the first half of the season. In the meantime I’ll be sitting here patiently anxiously waiting for their inevitably beautiful reunion. The longest they’ve ever been separated before—other than the 2,199 day time jump—was 6 episodes in episode 3 (between 3x05 and 3x11). All other separations have been shorter or else they were at least communicating (via the radio in season 2) or sharing the screen (even though Clarke was Josephine most of season 6). Fingers crossed for that reunion in episode 7 or 9 (8 is the backdoor pilot for the prequel). However, the more Bellamy is MIA from the story, the more I’m thinking he might somehow be the anomaly stormtrooper who grabbed Gaia before breaking the anomaly Stone. Plus I could see the writers totally giving us another “surprise bitch it’s Bellamy” moment of revealing himself from a helmet just like they will (probably) have another Clarke pulling a lever to save the world moment. Gotta love those parallels!!

P.S. I freaking LOVE Levitt and totally ship him and Octavia. Although I’m still loving Gabriel and would love him with her too... idk maybe I’m leaning more towards Levitt because Octavia deserves a man who treats her like a queen. Speaking of queens... who do we think the queen is in next episode “The Queen’s Gambit”. Clarke? She was literally shown as the queen in Sheidheda’s chess game with that subtle transition, but she wasn’t shown in the preview for next week. I actually googled “gambit” because I wasn’t sure what it meant lol but I found it’s either “a device, action, or opening remark, typically entailing a degree of risk that is calculated to gain an advantage” or specifically in chess as “an opening in which a player makes a sacrifice (typically a pawn) for the sake of some compensating advantage.” Well shit now I’m overthinking again. I wonder which plot line this is referring to? If it’s Clarke’s it could be her grand entrance to Bardo to showdown with Anders—like she just takes the risk and storms in guns a blazing to save her friends and shows the disciples the bad bitch she is. Or it could be referencing the chess game methaphor and she has to sacrifice someone (in the Nakara crew??) to gain an advantage over Anders... Based on the preview it seems like Emori could be the pawn sacrificed in the chess game that’s currently taking place in Sanctum—pls god don’t let that happen. Or maybe Emori is the queen since she’s playing the false god as a Prime and she makes some kind of sacrifice to gain back control of Sanctum for our heroes. The obvious option seems to be Clarke because she’s been referenced as the queen so many times in the show and has been positioned as the queen on the chess game metaphorically with Bellamy serving as her Knight/King. Idk anymore. My brain hurts.

#the 100 #bellamy blake #clarke griffin #john murphy #raven reyes #octavia blake #the 100 season 7 #bellarke

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