#—and also just the most banger lines to ever fuck the mind of man even in their depowered slightly clunky youtube english subtitle form

[aregebidan]

“who are you? i don’t even know your name” “don’t be in such a rush. you will give me a name someday. and i live in terror of that day” / “i’m afraid to turn around. not of your anger, though. i’m afraid i’ll see nobody” / “go on dreaming. when you dream about my likeness you create it” / “when you loved no one you never thought of death” / “give her proof of her love” “shall i?” “kill her before she sees you” “no!” “then kill yourself” “how?” “let her go”

literally who is doing it like them. no one. no one. no one.

#panna a netvor #turn my ashes into a fucking. dvd of this cinematic masterpiece #what if the beauty and the beast had reverse pygmalion and galatea but also reverse orpheus and eurydice— #—and also just the most banger lines to ever fuck the mind of man even in their depowered slightly clunky youtube english subtitle form #to understand the script in the original would be too much for me. i’d drop dead on the spot. i’m completely serious #what if. creation myth love story death tale gothic thriller. and there was exquisite music and a bird guy with an evil internal monologue #whose only wish ever was to be rewritten revised killed off and resurrected and irrevocably changed by love……oh i’m going insane #film

[pierswife]

@wyrmmak SOOOOOO TRUE well get ready for the Manda Lore Unlock cause this one is a fun story

Okay, let's go all the way back to November 2019. It's my third semester ever of college. I was doing so freakin good at avoiding leaks and spoilers for Sword and Shield (except for official release trailers) and was just SO excited to pick up my preorder after class (it was an 8AM Friday lecture and I sadly couldn't go to the midnight release even though I was invited got a call from gamestop that night and everything). I even requested the day off from work too because I'd be dammed Taco Bell kept me away from my pokemon and it was midterms too so extra excuse to request off (did this with Three Houses too fun fact). This is to set up how this man absolutely blindsided the fuck outta me when I first saw him.

So here I am, absolutely powering through this game having the time of my life playing it because idgaf what people say and idc how much a pokemon game may suck, if I have the ambition I'll finish it in less than a week. Keep in mind, I had no fucking idea who Piers was. And then I get to Spikemuth and I am ABSOLUTELY loving the vibe and the music and I am absolutely jamming out to everything. And then I get to him and he gives his little before battle speech thing and tbh I'm enthralled because I just love the way his dialogue was written and also just found it so cool that he was the still 7th gym leader without being able to dynamax his pokemon and honestly commended the fuck out of it (I'm not a big fan of it myself and only used it when I absolutely had to). I'm also just a sucker for his aesthetic and found myself getting a little crush after finishing his gym. Also his battle music was a fucking banger and I would just constantly listen to it for a few days after. And then we got to the lead up to Rose Tower and I fell harder when he just kinda shows up and basically is 100% down for some anarchy to help the kids stop Rose. And then GOD the post game where it shows that he's just such a good older brother and constantly worried for his sister, but also accidentally adopting the player character and Hop along the way and being the most tired mom friend like ever, icing on top of the cake. And I was cackling when at the end of the post game he gives you his rare trainer card and basically goes "never contact me for something like this ever again" and just LEAVES. Had me giggling like a maniac. So yeah by December that year I was pretty down bad.

Overall I just appreciate how he's a pretty chill and down to earth dude, but 100% is so fucking down for violence (think along the lines of "violence is the question and the answer is yes"). I also just love how like... prickly he seems on the outside before you do kinda get to know his character a little bit more. I've always found characters like that super neat in general! The more I learned about him the more I felt "hey, this would be someone I'd be super comfortable being myself around" and he wouldn't mind my Mentally Ill Moments and would actually sit with me and help me work through them (because my and a lot of people's headcanon is that he's been through some shit himself so he understands). I also have the old fic I wrote forever ago where he helped me repierce my ears (cause irl I was repiercing them in my bathroom lmao) and that was just absolute nail in the coffin I would die for this man. Tbh it's a mix of his mannerisms and how you could fill some stuff in with headcanons (a lot of which a majority of the fandom agreed on) and how I just see him as someone who I could just let my guard down around and relax that made me like him so much.

#manda lore dump concluded #listen I like him a tooootally normal amount mkay-- #thank you maaaaaak love you mwah mwah <3 /p #data log: personal #punk king of spikemuth #ship: sunshine in spikemuth #it's a little hard to describe how much I like him without only saying he'd protect me and keep me safe and would punch someone for me #but be the sweetest most caring and understanding person at the same time #yeah ykwjfjqkwi

[blorbologist]

For the Weirdly specific and overly long Critical Role Ask Meme (Please pick and choose if you would prefer): 1, 5, 6, 7, 15, 16, 30, 33

Sorry this took so long anon! I had to pace myself kerngknrt

1.Answered!

5. Meta you would write if you did not fear people would be SUPER weird about it. This is also an invitation to write that meta and block the haters.

How sometimes the fandom just needs to... fucking shut up and roll with it. These aren't our characters - they're probably some of the most complex many of us have ever interacted with, by virtue of hundreds of hours of time spent with each. Sure, you might think there's one way a character should respond to a situation - but in their player (or Matt's) head there's likely a good handful of other factors going into the character's reaction to any given event. Emotional state, stress level, who is around, where they are, etc. Yes this about Percy shut up.

If a character surprises you? Great! Think about why that is - what disconnect you have between what you expected and what happened and what could have prompted that.

What they're presenting is canon - they love these characters more than you or I possibly could, even writing hundreds of thousands of words of fanfic for them. We aren't in their heads. We didn't make them. Instead of trying to reshape canon to fit your idea of what they should be, instead take a chill pill and roll with the punches. And keep in mind that you likely don't have all the information. Going back to Percy - look at that! He and Vex had a whole fucking plan ready we and the Hells didn't know about! Be open to alternative interpretations - sometimes a look is in character, sometimes it isn't, and it's hard to draw that line.

It's a game. Canon is being shifted and rewritten constantly. Stop being dicks to other fans, the cast, and especially Matt when shit doesn't align with your imperfect understanding of the setting or characters. (Or, even if it WAS perfect in the past - the setting and characters are always evolving! A perfectly in character moment for episode 1 Caleb is not necessarily true for episode 140 Caleb. Matt changed the ages of the de Rolo kids and we don't know why. It's canon now unless he decides to retcon it. Form your headcanon around canon.)

6.NPC you would most like to see as the subject of a Tales of Exandria series.

Cerrit's daughter, Maya. She has that orb! What she gonna do with it? I still love the idea she founded the Cobalt Soul, and a POV from during/immediately after the Calamity would be... insane.

7. Alternate outcome in a main campaign that you don't necessarily wish happened, but that you wish you could see played out in an alternate universe before returning to ours.

... Jazzhands @ my 'Vex is the Raven Queen's Champion' AU.

TBH? I think at the table it would have been terrible for Liam to see his PC's twin succumb to that fate and be denied the chance to stop it. But in the campaign man it'd be juicyyyyy

15. Favorite one-on-one conversation (can be between two PCs, or a PC and NPC).

Vax and Percy's conversation in the Raven Queen's shrine. I just - FUCK! So many banger lines. The undercurrent of conflict between them. The framing, with the shrine, what it Means. The subtle shovel talk. damn!!!

16. Favorite group (all/most of the party) conversation.

I... think it might be when Vax emerges, naked, in the Feywild. All the worry, the heartbreak, the slow unravelling of what it means, their initial planning on what to do next. It’s got both solid emotional beats and some good plotting - which? Call be controversial, but my autistic ass loves it when they plan! Yes, narrow things down, discuss your options! Throw out shit ones, at least you’ve addressed why they’re shit! Also - eyeball.

30. What is your favorite theory or headcanon that has absolutely no bearing on the plot and isn't important at all, but which is completely compliant with canon?

Vesper is an aasimar. fuck you. she is and forever will be in my heart. it’s the angel/devil duality, it’s her hair turning white despite absolutely not going through dad’s stressful hell, it’s the fact Vex was pregnant when Pelor blessed her, it’s so many little things that Matter to me!

33. You may ask any member of the cast one, and only one lore clarification question. What do you ask?

I think I’d ask Taliesin “What are, or were, the personalities of the non-PC de Rolos?”. Maybe he’d focus on Percy’s parents and siblings, or maybe on the kids - but given how he elaborated on why Gwen is totally not Percy’s favorite I’d like to think he’d have very complex and rounded thoughts on each. Asking him also opens up the possibility of the past and present family being addressed, vs asking Laura would 100% result in quarter-elf info, and I feel she’d likely focus more on vibes/a few interesting big traits vs how they work as characters? 

#critical role #ask game #thank you for all the questions!!! was a lotta fun!

[gardenerian]

Just because I love talking about it with people and hearing their thoughts, what's your opinion on the dock scene? I know it's a fan favourite scene for many, myself included, but I also know some people, in the minority of course, think it's overrated? What do you think?

you really should not have done this. you've absolutely gone and done it now, huh? this scene is god tier. i simply do not know how they ever let noel go again after this. jesus christ. it's perfect. it's fucking perfect!!!!!!!

first we see ian. my man is anxious, definitely warring with himself - checking his phone, smoking that cigarette. but you know his blood is absolutely sizzling at the thought of seeing mickey again. and touching him again??? please. he sees docks siren mickey coming up them steps and it. is. on. toss that cigarette boyo, you're about to have your hands and also mouth full.

THEY. DON'T. HESITATE. ian is moving before he even knows what's happening and mickey is delighted!!!!! these bitches come alive!!!! are you kidding??? ain't no space between their fucking faces.

how are they breathing??? they're not!!!! they are going full vacuum face and i think we should support that. and then -

THE TENSION!!!!!!!!!!!!!! they're breathing so fucking hard and ian literally has to shove mickey away to stop himself. ian is that delightful combination of pissed off and turned on, and mickey is full on slutty sprite energy right now. my dude is just getting started.

it's playful! it's teasing! it's the most powerful slut energy i've ever seen and i will never get tired of it. mickey knows there's no point in resisting - just let go ian!! give the fuck in!!!! we'll figure out the rest later!!!!!!!!!!! THIS IS THE TIME WE HAVE, FUCKING GO THERE.

this is what ian has been missing. he just sinks right into it, absolutely powerless. mickey's hand... jesus christ. ian tries to resist one more time, maybe just so he can tell himself he did? and mickey's nOT FUCKING HAVING IT.

THAT BOYFRIEND MEANS NOTHING TO MICKEY. he knows it!!!! they are undeniable!!!!!! he just needs to make ian admit it. it calls ian on his shit, and maybe that's all ian needed because -

ian finally - finally!!!! - delivers that slut energy we know he's capable of. that dude knows how to deliver a heated gaze. HE KNOWS WHY HE CAME. WE ALL KNOW, IAN. and mickey knows, too.

TELL ME GOODBYE???? THE POWER?????????????? how mickey has any thought coherent enough to deliver that absolute banger of a line is astounding to me. december in chicago and these fuckers are shedding layers to get as close as possible. no one's stopping now, bitch! THE DESPERATIONNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!

ian has had ENOUGH of being teased

mickey does not give a single FUCK about that. the pissier he can make ian, the better, and good for him.......

this is the face of a man who knows he's won

only ten pics allowed per post but we all know what happens next. like old lovers babeeeyyyyyy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! shirt off!! watch out!!!!! the sluttiest belt removal i've ever fucking seen!!!!!! ian touching mickey's hair and his neck so softly before moving right the fuck in with his mouth - and mickey just losing himself in it!!! that man is touch starved and he's getting a whole fucking meal right now!!!!!!!!!!! are you kidding me???? the way he reaches back to touch ian? ian grabbing mickey's hand like that??? what the FUCK?? they did not have to go that hard. they really said you know what? if this is it, if this is our last moment, we're gonna go ALL THE FUCK OUT. we're gonna make everyone lose their absolute fucking MINDS FOR THE REST OF TIME.

but. you know. i haven't thought about it that much. maybe it is overrated. hmm.

#what the fuck happened here #this scene makes me absolutely batshit #idk i just blacked out what happened #anon you ask for it #don't blame me #not me getting these screencaps while also talking on the phone like an absolute maniac #shut uP

[neitherlightnordark]

berdly, if you don't mind!! :-)

i do not mind at all!!! thank you!

realistic: berdly knows how to bake for some reason and i want to know why. who taught him this. was it actually him or did the swatchlings help. do the swatchlings like berdly. they're both birds. i know tasque manager didn't like him because she stuffed his statue down a toilet but i want to know how swatch and gang feels about this kid what if they ALSO teach him how to dab just like they taught ralsei i feel like he'd turn his beak up at it and later on eagerly show noelle or something

while it may not be realistic it is hilarious: okay. okay listen to me. i'm looking you right in the fucking eye. my friend voices berdly whenever he comes over to my house to game with me and it's the most horrendous thing i've ever heard. he has a gift for it. it's like... a really buttery sneer. "heeEEEeeh i'm berdley" (extra e in berdly is pronounced). it's terrible i hate it. it's berdly's squished face in voice forme. he keeps it even in emotional cutscenes like the bluebird one. sometimes he takes over queen's lines with it too. anyway that's berdly's canon voice

heart-crushing and awful: it's not so much heart-crushing as... queen's relationship with berdly is so complicated actually?? and fuck it hurts to think about?? they don't know how to talk to each other and queen mindcontrolled him and then said he would be the only one to be mindcontrolled?? and then he attempts to open a dark fountain and then queen laughs with him and noelle and it's such a nice moment and she still doesn't remember his name and then- and then........ man!!!!! she lied to him about being a gamer!!!!!!!!!!! in all seriousness i've been trying to figure out how queen talking to both noelle and berdly after they learn she's real would go and it's been so hard there's so much Stuff there but it could also be really Funny but also also first they have to work through the Stuff. my point is queen in an effort to reconcile with him asks if he wants to play some video games with her and lancer. berdly invites noelle, and then susie because noelle suggested it, and then kris because susie and him both thought it would be nice. there is chaos

(in general i don't know enough about gamer colloqualisms yet to write him which makes me very sad)

i REJECT canon! jojo!!!: hang on trying to think if i have something for this. AHA i think berdly and noelle are friends, even if it's... complicated. there's a lot of evidence to support that in canon, and he's so genuinely sad when he realizes he let noelle get captured, and noelle chokes him out, and they study together, and noelle knows where he works after school, and one time when they were at noelle's house noelle impulsively decided to steal something from her mom's closet with him because her mom wouldn't let her go to the sadie hawk high school dance, and both of them put on banger dresses and did the rest of their homework wearing them and giggling. berdly wearing a skirt in the dark world is important also

#personal #jjgjjfadsnafdnfadsnkdafnjadfnadfsknfdaskn #a while ago i changed one of my discord names to berdly apologist #this was before chapter 2 #it aged well #long post

[lochsides]

If I Can't Have Love, I Want Power Review

Where do I even begin with 'If I Can't Have Love, I Want Power'? It is such a good album, it's almost criminal. If I had to pick the best album to be released this year, IICHLIWP would be it. Halsey has always been an excellent songwriter, that was never even in question, but it has been proved once again, in case anyone wasn't paying attention. IICHLIWP is an album that covers so much depth in sound and in lyric. The dichotomy of the Madonna and the Whore, as they said in their announcement of the album, is an overarching theme of IICHLIWP and it is articulated so consummately. The references to pregnancies and childbirth are more subtle than I expected but that's what makes them so genius. This is an album where every lyric is intentional.

My favourite songs are ‘The Tradition’, 'Bells in Santa Fe', '1121' and 'Ya'aburnee'. More detailed thoughts on each track are below the cut. Trigger warnings for sexual assault and miscarriages.

The Tradition — This is the first song on the album and Halsey had already fucked me up so there's that. I got full-body chills listening to 'The Tradition'. The production is masterful. There is this darkness that settles in early and ebbs and flows beautifully, not only throughout the song but the album as a whole. 'The Tradition' already sets up so many of themes of this album, but what a way to talk about sexual assault. I am in love with the entire chorus line but I think my favourite lyric is ‘she got the life she wanted but now all she does is cry.’

Bells in Santa Fe — The transition from 'The Tradition' into 'Bells in Santa Fe' was so smooth I didn't even notice that the songs had changed until I looked at my screen. I don't think I could actually describe how much I adore this song if I took up the rest of my life doing so. The production is absolutely God-tier. Everything from the way it keeps building throughout the song to the percussion to the piano on the second chorus and the distortion towards the end is so perfectly done. You will never hear me rave about production this much. What a fucking song! On top of all that, you have the lyrics that are so powerful. When they said 'cause who the fuck would chose this?' it reminded me of my favourite Manicsong, 'Forever... is a long' where they sing 'how could somebody ever love me?' so that stood out to me. I love the cadence on 'secondhand thread in a secondhand bed with a second man's head' but the lyric 'better off dead so I reckon I'm headed to Hell instead' is probably the one that hits the hardest. My escapist, runaway tendencies felt very exposed by the entirety of the pre-chorus.

Easier than Lying — The way she emotes on ‘you lair, you don’t love me’ is fucking everything. I needed to start with that. It’s my favourite aspect of the whole song. And then there is that obvious callback in the bridge. ‘Easier than Lying’ is the punk sound we were promised of IICHLIWP and they delivered. The Grungy electric guitar, the bass, the production!!! This one goes hard and it makes no apologies of it’s anger.

Lilith — ‘I’m disruptive, I’ve been corrupted, and by now I don’t need a fucking introduction.’ I mean what could I possibly say after that??! Honestly, I love the duality of how this line could be about Halsey but it could also be about Lilith, herself. There is a selfishness to 'Lilith' that I love. When you connect that to the mythology of Lilith preying on pregnant women and the context of this album — it's just got so many layers. Halsey's mind!! I love the sound of this song. The production has a classic rock flare to it. Those drums are so clean and the bass accompanies it perfectly. The smoothness of their vocal on this track is very pleasing to listen to.

Girl is a Gun — I'm not going to lie, this song isn't for me. I get it. The message is right up my street but the overall sound of it just isn't what I personally like. I do love their little laugh at the start! The lyric 'it's a shot in the dark, I'm not a walk in the park, I come loaded with the safety switched off' is my favourite.

You asked for this — This song is really interesting because they gave us a pop punk sound, pushed it to the back of the track, really grungey guitar riffs and all, but their voice is so light and delicate almost, very airy in a way that stands apart from the backing track. I really like it. To me, it's like an emphasis of the message of 'You asked for this'. Young women are oftentimes forced to grow up too soon and 'be a big girl.' Society forgets, I would even say purposely overlooks, that they are 'still somebody's daughter,' one of the few things that is used to give value to a woman. We've all heard people throw the phrase "but what if it was your daughter/sister?" into the conversation when discussing women that have somehow been abused by the patriarchy. 'You asked for this' also calls attention to how when we're younger, all we want is to be grown up but how unaware we can be of what it means to be a woman in this world, the trauma that comes with it.

Darling — The guitar in this song and it’s almost-country sound are what sets this song apart from the rest of the album. ‘Darling’ is a lullaby for their child, but it tells a story of their struggles. It is honest in a way that feels private. Motherhood sounds so good on them!! This song is just a collection of things I love in music. 'Darling' is soothing and it sounds like comfort, in both melody and lyric. 'Foolish men have tried but only you have shown me how to love being alive' is perhaps the softest lyric on the whole album.

1121 — I expelled a heavy sigh when I heard ‘1121’ it absolutely took my breath away*.* This song is a truly moving ode to an unborn child. So many people talk about how they had never known what unconditional love really meant until they had a child. Halsey tells it as such: ‘you could have my heart and I would break it for you.’ I love their vocal styling on this song so much, going between their lower register and those beautiful falsettos in the chorus. The overlapping on the bridge of ‘please don’t leave, don’t leave me in the shape you left me’ and ‘I’m running out of time to tell you, I’m running out of things that I regret’ and ‘you’d never, you told me’ really capture all the wide array of emotions felt by pregnant person upon finding out they are pregnant when they’ve dealt with miscarriage. Her voice emotes the fear of losing another child, the regret of the ones she's already lost, the promise, almost desperate, of the opportunity they have right now. All of these feelings are brought to life further by the production of the song. There is so much depth in '1121'.

honey — Pop punk wlw anthem check. Halsey suits this sound so much. This track, the production, the instrumentation, all of it catered to their voice so perfectly. The sound is so refreshing and yet so classic. I adore the melody. It’s unsuspectingly catchy. I wonder if there are links to ‘Lilith’ with ‘she’s mean and she’s mine’ or if I’m just reaching. Either way, a song about a love that is a little chaotic and wild, sign me up!

Whispers — Whispering on a song called 'Whispers' might be obvious but I'm a basic bitch so leave me alone, I loved it. Lyrically, 'Whispers' was the song that I saw myself in the most. When she said 'camouflage so I can feed the lie that I'm composed,' I just felt far too exposed for comfort. Same thing with 'I do not know me.' And that's what art is supposed to do. The instrumental is haunting and dark. The way they create tension by adding in one instrument at a time. The production is amazing. Top 5 shit right here!

I am not a woman, I'm a god — Not only does this song have the catchiest hook, it’s literally ‘I am not a woman, I’m a god. I am not a martyr, I’m a problem. I am not a legend, I’m a fraud so keep your heart ‘cause I already got one.’ That hook right there tells you everything you need to know about this song. ‘I am not a woman, I’m a god’ acknowledges that one needs not be a woman to create life. They are claiming power to their gender identity through relation to Godliness. Even in the other lyrics, they talk about being ‘a different human in a new place’ or ‘a better human with a new name’ (this line in particular draws direct parallels to trans experiences). Both times, they specifically use ‘human.’ The production of this song is designed to be a single. It’s got the signature darkness of this album, tells the listener where Halsey is at sonically, and it’s a total banger.

The Lighthouse — The way this song just comes in swinging right away with the distortion and the heavy guitars is exactly what I expected from this album going into it for the first time. Very modern punk rock. And the lyric doesn't pull any punches either. 'From a tender age I was cursed with rage,' like c'mon!! I love the melody and her vocal inflations throughout the song. This is the longest song on the album but it doesn't drag. The change up right before the outro really helps with that. I find that outro so interesting. The contrast between the instrumental constantly building but their voices staying so far in the back on the track creates so much tension that is relieved in the best way possible with 'Ya'aburnee'.

Ya'aburnee — ‘Ya’aburnee’ is the perfect conclusion to this album. Halsey said in their Apple Music interview that IICHLIWP is about the power to choose and by the end of the album you realise that they choose love. This song perfectly embodies that. It’s familial. The entire chorus talks of seeing yourself in your kin and the circle of life. The second verse is a clear love letter to their partner and it makes me emotional, knowing their romantic history as we do, to hear them sing ‘wrap me in a wedding ring.’ I love how the lyric ‘you will bury me before I bury you’ is not only a statement of their hopes that they don’t have to live in a world without their loved ones, a statement of how parents should never have to bury their children, but it almost sounds like a protective promise that they will do anything to ensure their loved ones are kept from harm so as not to need burial. The softness of the instrumental on ‘Ya’aburnee’ is feels like unwinding from the rest of the record. It’s such a beautiful song.

#halsey #if i can't have love i want power #iichliwp #reviews #music #i finally did it guys

[fullmetal-the-last-alchemist]

Lupin for the character asks?

Why I like them: he’s so SILLY and devious and mischievous and watching him commit crimes for the thrill of it all is so FUN and I just love him a lot <3 plus he's got that spicy extra layer of Sadness to him that we catch a glimpse of every so often... it intrigues me... i wanna crack his psyche open like a walnut. he's just so intensely layered and complex and i fucking love that. he has lots of issues but he's funny about it. he's like a Looney Tunes character in a very-much-not-Looney-Tunes setting (most of the time, anyways), he can do whatever he wants and it's fantastic. love that for him <3

Why I don’t: HE'S SO FUCKING HORNY......... LIKE SIR.. PLEASE.... also he is just str8 up an asshole for no reason sometimes lol i'm not about that [smacks him with a broom] Stop.

Favorite episode (scene if movie): THE SCENE IN CASTLE OF CAGLIOSTRO… the one where he sneaks into Clarisse's room at night, introduces himself as a thief, returns her ring (or so we believe), tells her he cannot leave until his job is done even though, by her words, he's putting his life at risk… he tells her that she, herself, is the treasure he wishes to steal away… his little theatrics as he describes what being a thief is all about… Clarisse, unable to bring herself to hope, all too aware of the Baron's stranglehold on her life… Lupin lamenting her lack of faith in him in one of my favorite lines in the franchise… the way he hangs his head, and then shakes and grasps his hand as he summons a flower from seemingly nowhere, and kneels before Clarisse to present it to her, saying, “Right now, this is the best he can do,” with a smile, handing off the flower to her and trailing a string of tiny flags as it leaves his hand, one at a time… the clear joy on her face, and his goofy smile… the way they laugh together…. LIKE, he clearly knows that he can't do much to defeat her fear of the Baron, but for now, he can give her this one tiny joy… I am going to Lose my MIND. literally the only scene in anything, ever. OH ALSO second place goes to the scene in Eternal Mermaid when he and Jigen talk on the beach at night about why they’re thieves… that one rotates in my brain 24/7

Favorite season/movie: yeah i'm basic as fuck, Castle of Cagliostro has my favorite Loop ever. he’s so soft and so sad and yet still such a devious little bastard, but with that extra level of endearing Miyazaki charm to him… chef's kiss. perfection.

Favorite line: “When times change, I adapt to them. That’s how I’ve always lived. But Jigen Daisuke is the only man who never said a word and just accepted me no matter who I was. He’s the only stable thing in my life. And maybe that’s why I’ve been able to stay true to myself. So it’s simple. No matter what he decides to do, I return the favor by accepting it just the same.”

Favorite outfit: HMMM he has a lot of excellent outfits… I’m a big fan of part 5’s blue jacket and pink tie combo :] also his sick tech monocle... such a banger

OTP: JIGEN AND LUPIN BIG MARRIED!!!!!!!! they are in love and they are married and they kiss each other on the lips <3 additionally, Lupin's dating Goemon, and also he's married and divorced Fujiko like twelve times lol. ALSO I don’t ship it but I accept the truth of the fact that Lupin and Albert definitely dated. or at least fucked.

Brotp: LUPIN AND ZENI.... they care each other so much ;___;

Head Canon: just gonna list headcanons until i run outta steam because i have so many ANYWAYS he has ADHD, he's trans ftm but didn't have top surgery cause he's genderfluid/genderqueer and actually likes his titties, he was raised by his grandpa for a few years, he definitely needs glasses, he's the second youngest in the gang after Jigen and Fujiko, he's bowlegged, he can play both the piano and the violin, he falls in love easily and often but moves on and gets over heartbreak fairly quick, he forgets to eat and sleep sometimes to his own detriment when he gets wrapped up planning a heist, AND finally, i like the idea that he had a near-death experience once as a kid which is why he's Like That

Unpopular opinion: the way ppl draw lu/zeni makes me mad uncomfortable sometimes LOL ask again if u want a full breakdown on that, it's too long to put here. also just in general shipping those two makes me very :\ cause i feel like all the "hints" towards it in canon are just thinly veiled homophobic jokes and despite not having official ages or anything Zeni is clearly supposed to be at least 15+ years older than the Lupin gang... they literally call him Pops???? idk i'm just very much not a fan lol.

A wish: I wish he would have a full-on breakdown onscreen <3

An oh-god-please-don't-ever-happen: don’t ever make him like… assault someone………… the manga is fucked up yes I know but in the anime Lupin canon………… please do not :\

5 words to best describe them: horny, silly, driven, fun-loving, and... hmm..... monkey :]

My nickname for them: LOOP!!!!! <3 I call him Loop like approximately half the time lmao, I just think it’s cute :D

#THANK YOU VERY MUCH!!!!!!!!!! i love talking abt this bastard man <3 #lupin iii #ask #ruth speaks #long post #sort of... long-ish post.... #i have to go eat some food but i will answer the other asks in a lil while!!!! #thank u so much for sending them in y'all.... i love my mutuals so much :'] <3

[nlights37]

I want you to answer everything! But if you can’t then can I have 5, 12, 13, 16 pretty please? I’m dying to know what goes on in that brilliant mind of yours. My pen is ready for notes. Go!

Live shot of me reading this - okay, anything for you, my little angel!

5) character you were most surprised to end up writing

Hahahahaha oh man, most surprised to end up writing - gotta be Edd in Something Stupid, only because at the start it didn’t seem like he’d end up being such an integral part of Jonerys coming together but what an MVP!  He ended up being a much larger part of the story than I ever anticipated, probably more than any other minor character I’ve used.

12) your weaknesses as an author

Have you got a few hours?  LOL probably my lack of ever making a cohesive outline, and my dependency on ‘Let’s just see what comes while I’m writing it’.  I don’t outline, ever.  Terrible about making notes for myself, also.  I would say that means I don’t plan ahead, but that’s not totally true.  I do - but usually my normal day is spent doing other things, and thankfully mostly mindless things, so I can kind of space out and really spend hours turning over a story and looking at it and figuring out what my high points are.

It’s my lack of actually writing that down that can bite me in the ass.

AND!

I hate writing it down because then I feel like I’m locked into it and my entire being chafes at being confined like that. Intellectually that is a silly thing, but my mind just does what it wants sometimes.  Maybe it’s my Sagittarius flaring up.  Either way idk, it would probaby make shit a lot easier if I was better about that.

Oh, and run-on sentences.  Like a bitch.  Sometimes it’s for that stream of thought effect, sometimes I just forget where I’m at in the sentence and my mind is a few lines ahead already and I’m trying to catch up and then boom it’s just words, so many words.  Like that sentence, right there.  What a fucking mess.

Oh, another biggie.  I almost can’t even type it.  It is shocking.  My first draft?  Yep, that’s also my final draft.  I know.  It’s fucking stupid.  I don’t know why I’m like this lol.

Oh, also, so many WIPs.  You guys don’t even know.  My Google drive will judge me soon.

13) your strengths as an author

I am fast at typing.  :)

I think I usually turn out a pretty satisfactory experience.  Like, I don’t care about being fandom popular and shit like that.  I’m kinda more about hoping that when people see my name pop up in the tag they know, off the bat, that I’m gonna give them something fun, something that will make them laugh, or ‘awww’ or maybe fan themselves lightly.  Whatever it is, I guess I figure so long as I keep getting those kinds of comments like “I see your name and I know it’s gonna be a banger”, then I know I’m succeeding at consistency, if nothing else.

So yes, consistency.  I think I’m that.

I hope so!

16) are there any characters who haunt you?

Thin Line Jonerys - I have an unfinished Part 3 for them that’s sitting there tapping very expensive shoes at me like ‘What the fuck?  Just fuck us, huh?  Give people what they want!”  They’re too hot though, sometimes it’s hard to look at them directly.  Plus I have to be in an appropriately ‘asshole’ mood to get the tone right there.

One of these days.

Thank you so much @libradoodle1 - you remain my adopted child, now and forever

#jonerys #fanfic #my fics #writer ask game

[tongowheel]

‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾ PART TWO of why literally every single line pel says in the fifth act of rules of acquisition is an absolute banger. read part one here!

QUARK: Come. (Pel enters)

they don’t even speak it’s literally just their presence that knocks quark on his ass it’s amazing just the way they’re framed in the doorway — 

PEL: I hope you don't mind, Quark, but I couldn't leave without saying goodbye to the Nagus.

THEY KNOW EXACTLY WHAT THEY’RE DOING they’re literally just >:3

ZEK: I'm glad you stopped by. I know how much you helped Quark during the negotiations. I predict a big future for you, Pel. You certainly have the lobes for it. PEL: So, you like my lobes? QUARK: Pel. ZEK: Yes, I do. PEL: Good. Then you can have them.

THIS IS IT THIS IS THE MOST ICONIC THING TO EVER HAPPEN ON STAR TREK THERE ARE NO WORDS FOR IT. THEY WAY THEY SIMPLY RIP THEIR FAKE LOBES OFF AND THROW THEM AT ZEK. THEY WERE INSANE FOR THIS. 

(thank u for the meme farllee)

ZEK: Quark, this is outrageous. Now, what's going on here? QUARK: I, I, I. PEL: Leave him out of this.

PEL LITERALLY CONTINUING TO DEFEND QUARK AND STAND UP TO THE GRAND FUCKING NAGUS FOR HIM. EVEN AT A TIME LIKE THIS. if you’ve ever watched the ep with me or have seen my livetweets u know what i’m talking about.

PEL: So, tell me more about my big future.

i’m so obsessed with this like zek is sitting here like I’VE BEEN CATFISHED and pel is like OKAY AND??????? KEEP TALKING U WRINKLY OLD BASTARD 

anyway so then quark puts himself between pel and zek and the two of them argue for a while and then zek leaves.

QUARK: I hope you're satisfied. PEL: I'm sorry, but it's time he learned that when it comes to accumulating profit, women are as capable as men. QUARK: Well, do me a favour and don't tell anybody else.

i cannot deal w this little exchange but they literally just spitting truths. it ALSO makes me insane because they laid the groundwork for the entire women’s rights arc and got NO credit for it and even tho i know this is not why, i choose to believe that it’s bc the writers realized pel was a trans man and having a trans man lead the fight for women’s rights would have been weird and transphobic so they wanted to respect what pel would want <3

PEL: I should go. I've booked passage on an Andorian transport. You could come with me. QUARK: I can't. PEL: I know.

what’s so [shakes fist at the sky] about this bit is they make the offer again and quark STILL turns it down but they’ve accepted it this time. BUT ALSO QUARK GOES FROM “i don’t want to bc you’d be wearing clothes” to “i can’t leave my whole life behind but i wish i could” and the “i know” is both i know you can’t and i know you wish you could. and it’s.ggGRGRGGRGRRGRGGRGR BARK GROWL BARK WOOF WOOF BARK

AND THEN THEY KISS :) my god these bitches gay good for them good for them!!!!

PEL: Well then, I guess if I can't have you, I'll take those ten bars of latinum after all.

AND THEN THEY RUN THEIR FINGER OVER QUARK’S LOBE AND GET UP AND LEAVE AND WHAT A POWER MOVE BRO and like. of course they still love him and wish things could be different but they really said “ok well your loss i guess but hey thanks for the money #byeeeeeee” and if that’s not the most ferengi thing you’ve ever seen.........

ANYWAY. that’s all that’s the last time we ever see or hear about pel but my god. why are they so cool. pel ur gender and ur hand in marriage PLEASE

#ugly little alien dealer ( ooc ) #&. i’ve waited so long to play this part ( hc | pel ) #&. i’ve waited so long to play this part ( rel | pel & quark ) #long post /

[mytwitterisdogtoast1]

Kingdom Hearts 3 broke my heart.

I am a fan of Kingdom Hearts. i've been here through the first game and even though I grew up without the money to play every game I stuck with the series as best I could. In fact I've bought multiple copies of games on multiple systems and beat a couple of the games not just once but 3 or more times. Here is a list of the things I've done involving this series.

1: I bought KH1/2/COM on more than one system such as ps2,3, and 4. 2: I've played and beaten on the hardest difficulty on each main installment (except critical mode of 3) 3: I have 100% KH1 which might not seem like a big deal but it is the only game I have 100% ever. Got all the trophies and so on. 4: I stuck with the story and even recently before 3 came out played and beat most of the games. (except DDD since it wasn't my kind of deal since I don't like the flowmotion part of the combat.)

You could say I'm a fan of the games and have done what I can to in general keep up with the series as well as have enjoyed the series.

But then 3 came out and I was just not happy with it. After waiting for so long and playing the game and screaming and ranting about certain plot points that just don't make sense to me (KH is notoriously hard to keep up with plot wise and I am just not the brightest person in the world when it comes to shit. Like I really need some things explained outright for me and to some degree do not mind spoilers for some things) I swore off KH the entirety from now on cause it was just that bad of a game for me. It wasn't a horrible game but the direction they started taking it in was just so far removed from what the original 2 games in the numerical series were that this was just NOT Kingdom Hearts at all. Sure you can say it is a love letter to the biggest of fans but I can say that a letter to regular fans was something it needed to do more than cater to such a rabid fanbase compared to a regular fanbase. I thought this was unfair and then bought Memory of Melody. That is now the worst game in the series to me. So I dived into what people thought and looked at a ton of youtubers who played the game and saw what they thought. I looked at reviews of non youtubers and read what they thought and the game has made the fanbase more divided than anything I'd ever seen from a fanbase. So I replayed the game with the intent to write down all I felt on the game to give it a fair review. Like I said I'm a filthy casual and I can give stuff a large break when it comes to media and have a large understanding of what that thing is meant to be. Sometimes a product is meant to be a certain way and we have to enjoy it for what it is and I can try and do that. I mean I love the WWE and Yugioh and anyone who is a part of those fanbases knows in their hearts (kek hearts) how bad those things can be at times. So I played the game and wrote down all the thoughts I had on it and Some might be easy to explain while others are in general probably at least fair on how I feel about it.

Kingdom Hearts is a series not meant for the new comer. It knows what it wants to be and does that thing. It isn't here to make everyone happy and that is just absolutely fine in general. I've been a fan and it makes me happy that the game is one long story that I can appreciate and make call backs to in stuff. I remember being so rewarded when I looked at my then best friend who skipped over chain of memories (I had to emulate it but I think it was fair of me to do so since I bought the game 3 times since now that I have the money to do so) and said he knew what happened because he saw the cutscene of Sora reaching the top and Namine betraying him by putting him into a pod. I laughed at him cause he was a fool who knew nothing of how the story went cause he foolishly just thought he didn't NEED to play the game. This made me more invested into the series than he was. I stuck with the series reading up articles and even watching videos on the series for stuff I missed out on since again i couldn't afford everything. They were building a story over a decade long and at the end it just didn't do it for me. It's not that the story wasn't the end of the series in general. Heck gotta make dat' money Y'all but in general this was the end of a saga for Xehanort and it just didn't cut it. But maybe I'm not starting at the right spot to give my feelings on it. Maybe I'm coming fresh off a game play and feeling a rant building for multiple reasons. So let me start with the positives before I bury the list under a pile of problems for me.

So I'll be putting things in order of good, mixed, bad. They will be somewhat fair and if they have an answer you have my sincerest apologies but remember I'm slightly the "dumb" and would in general like to just get simple straight answers. Something simple and clean if you would. On that note

1: The starting song is a god damned banger - Face my fears is up there with sanctuary which is better than Simple and clean. To be fair though simple and clean was made in like a flight and pretty much is nonsensical to the game in general. However it is a good song. How could it not be with one of japans best pop artists? Have you heard sakura drops? Colors? Traveling? Apples and cinnamon? Fuck man this song is just really good. 2: The game looks great - Sure the game might not look like ps2 graphics anymore but this isn't a bad thing it just is a different thing. The only time I thought it looked bad was during the pirates area where they had to make real people. Sometimes it is better to have a different art theme and even if something is just ok at best during it it can still be over all great. Everyone looked good during it. It just in general looked like a new version of KH entirely. 3: You can power up keyblades - One of the best parts of the game is powering up keyblades. Now sure mickey saying "we should have powered up our keyblades" is a stupid line in general when they are magic items and not fully meant to break form normal stuff but i think the ability to latch onto a key and make that sucker your main key is a great idea. Finally I can power up keys like sweet memories or the kingdom key and go through the cutscenes with the keyblade never changing and it look like it's meant to be there. 4: The whole getting treasure for sinking ships - Even if in general people might not like the ship combat the idea of being a pirate and stealing treasure from a ship when you sink one of the large ones is one of the best thematical ideas in the game. You can just sail the ocean and just pirate ship for loot if you wanted to and since you get xp during it and get your ship to be better it just is a great idea in its entirety. 5: Rikus keyblade - That is one of the better keyblades. I'm not gonna lie but the final fantasy cloud based keyblades where they are more realistic have been one of my favorite designs and I am sad i can't throw it on sora. I like the idea of an actual blade instead of a blunt weapon in the game since it just feels cooler sometimes. Riku getting a keyblade that not only looks more like a sword but is also still a key for a more modern car is one of the cooler things they have ever put in. 6: The call back to union cross players - This was a little lover note to people who played the game. They grabbed a ton of names and threw them in as you threw hundreds of keyblades at the giant heartless storm mob thing. I think it is great and even if I didn't play one of the names that pops up is my actual name so I find that pretty cool whenever I see it.

And that is it. Those are the best parts of KH3 to me. Everything else is either a mixed bag or just not good. I'm sure you can tell which one has more in it. As for the stuff that is in the middle of both good and bad let me make it clear that some stuff that is bad will probably be talked about in the bad section because it needs its own commentary.

1: All the party members - I always was a little sad having to remove one of the characters in my party to add the one new person they wanted to add in and was always sad at that limitation but with 3 you can now have ALL THE MEMBERS. This is great because now I have access to all of my forms with donal...... Oh right, they're not in the game anymore. 2: Nice to one and done an area - Back in the day when I first played the original first game I never went back cause I beat the level and thought it was extra stuff. When I got older and playued through 2 I was a little impatient and just didn't want to keep going back. Now as I am older and wiser and more patient I just do the thing cause it's a part of the game and deal. Thankfully it is all in one trip which is good CAUSE I DON'T WANNA FUCKING PLAY THESE LEVELS EVER AGAIN. 3: I'm gonna say it and people are gonna question me (probably not I'm not a large content creator thus people probably don't care about my opinion so strange of you to be here reading this) but I fucking hate winnie the pooh. I don't like him as a person and I'm just not a fan of his entire world. I only like Eeyore and not cause "gosh that's how I feel" Eeyore is the fucking man. He never lets his bad mood get him down and he powers through even when life is shit. Good for him man. Love that guy. Such a trooper. I just don't like pooh but the levels. God Kingdom Hearts mini games are just mostly not fun in general so not having to play so many mini games in poohs level is fantastic. EXCEPT EVERY WORLD HAS A DAMNED MINI GAME IN IT. 4: Speaking of mini games the ship combat is fine. - It's just, fine. 5: I had so much money - I don't remember playing any other game having so much money. I remember caring and investing and even trying to get money to spend on stuff in some points and in here it just.... I never spent it until i got bored and started using food. I didn't use food until the last world and beyond cause I wanted to finish the game faster. I mean the change of pace having money is nice but there was nothing really to do with it. Maybe I should have bought Hayner, Pence and Olette a ton of pretzels with it. 6: Playing as any other keyblade wielder - Man this was one of those great moments that I was excited to do. Having played as many other characters during other games was always nice and refreshing and being able to do so here was great. It got me excited to play as Mickey again since I got to use him a few times in KH2 or to be able to use Ventus or Aqua again cause they were gonna be saved and be able to fight in the upcoming battle. That is you know. If they are used in the game more than one time each. 7: Giant heartless battle - One of the best moments in the game was the "goofy just died" moment. Not because The goof man "died" but because you got to solo fight a crowd of enemies and in this game it was so cool to have that call back. The shit icing on that beautiful cake was having to use the train to win. Like it just felt like I was making no progress and I can't on my own fight the enemies and no matter how hard you try you can never stop the enemies ever. 8: The what if scenario - The group dying was pretty cool and was a great what if but would have been better if they didn't come back to the past and have Ventus run up and think it was Terra again. It was cool for the lingering will to step in and help but even then the whole situation was so stupid that it could have been written better. What if instead of doing the whole scenario it was a mind fuckery to sora to put him down mentally like they had been trying to entire game. What if it showed him losing and that it was possible? Instead we got this long winded scenario where people didn't learn from their first mistake and tried to go run up to Terra when in that moment Aqua when Ven tried going should have grabbed his shoulder and said "you know it's not him so let's just get ready to fight"

Those are the mixed bag moments I was commenting on. Some things are fine and aren't really an issue except the are a part of a bigger problem in itself which makes them a mixed bag. The last part's I'll be writing about are pretty much a giant rant or asking questions to things. There are problematic points I'll be making as well. So now let's look at the bad stuff in KH3. However, before I get into it, I want to also write down the not as bad stuff as well as some of the really big stuff so I'll make sure to point out when it is a gripe that isn't the worst thing in the world compared to it actually being not good.

1: Nitpick/The social media is dumb - Look I'm not much of a social media person and I know todays kids and teens are all about that jazz and such but man this part of the game is pretty dumb. I am in no way too old to "get hip with it grandpa" and think social media is a bad thing. Times and things change but WHY IS THIS A THING? Sora and friends are out saving the world and probably do not know about current phones since they are so busy. They would be like really old people trying to catch up with todays world and just in general should not have time enough to do it. Sure giving a phone is fine which whatever they can just add in ways to contact which again makes the phone fine but social media is dumb. What platform are they on? Who is following them? What world is this being sent to in general? Does anyone really care?

2: Nitpick/Why 7 VS 13? - I think the number is just really off. Ok look the original organization 13 was fine. Having 14 members in it wasn't a big deal and sure fighting them seperately and not all in one game made me a little sad until final mix came out but at least i got to fight Marluxia in all his pretty boy glory. The point I make is they just seem to have stuck with the 13 which is fine I guess? It just seemed like it was more or less there for no real reason. Sure we would have to fight every single Xehanort around such as Ansem, Xemnas, Terranort, Xigbar who works with old man Xehanort, Young Xehanort, Old man Xehanort. If you also in general wanted him to have each good guy fight a bad guy we would need one for each single keyblade wielder to come out. So let's say Kairi and Axel were just gonna join in so we can have for whatever reason Xion and Roxas just pop out to fight people. We would have need for a total of 7 enemies to fight. Let's just use these guys here as people for people to fight. We can have terranort fight someone before he comes back as lingering will to fight and get his body back. We can have Kairi fight Xion until she defects in general and fights another person with her. We can have axel fight Xemnas so he can get revenge and then have him lose and Roxas can come out. So on and so forth until we have just enough for each person to be matched with another person. You wouldn't need to stretch and find whatever you can and just fill the numbers. You could have at that point just filled it with villains you knew you wanted on your team. Not just bring back generic dudes who don't even need to be here. I'll get more into that in a moment but the numbers just seem off and could have been anything not 7 v 13 but like I said. Nitpick.

3: The plot of Sora flying around this time is a little weak. - So Sora lost his powers and needs to get them back. So he fucks off for a bit until he can regain the powers. Wouldn't it be better if he also trained with Kairi and Axel? What about just going into the realm of darkness to help the others get Aqua? What if instead of just going back and forth to each Disney world like he normally did he in general just.....trained. See the point of the other games was "close the keyholes of the world so heartless stop getting in. Stop those nobodies from opening Kindom Hearts." Kind like saving the world is a great motivation to have compared to "fuck off until you are good or something". It's one of the biggest issues in general. Now if he was told something more substantial than "you need the power of waking" than it would have made the grind through much better. Add in a new plot element for him to need to travel to lands in general so he can earn the power of waking. Send him to places to get that shit instead of "get stronger". You think I can't just do that shit with story? Shit's boring man lemme do stuff.

4: You cannot turn off attractions - That is without playing critical mode. Man Attractions are in general one of the worst parts of the game. Sure I find it hilarious when I'm fighting an important boss (such as Xemnas) and I last hit him with a merry go round but in general they just suck. They aren't fun and they slow the games combat down with a cinematic. Sure they can be "avoided" and I "don't have to use them" but they exist in the game. They are the creators vision and he wants you to use them. If they didn't want it to be a huge part of the games combat system they wouldn't add it in and the fact that it shows up so often just kinda proves they want you to use the thing. Combat in here is very floaty if you haven't noticed and a more grounded approach is sometimes best. This is what the attractions do since they still try and attack you thus getting closer to the attraction in the first place. It's really a jarring object. Telling me not to use it while having the chance to actually accidentally press the button is frustrating. It's the smaller version of telling someone don't be mad when they are mad or try not to be depressed. It's hard to avoid and the answer isn't just "don't do it." Especially when the game puts in abilities to make them more prominent such as extending the time on them. Another point on this is that if the developer wanted them to be optional they wouldn't sometimes be mandatory or even show up during boss fights. Either this was an added on horse shit thing where Disney was like "add attractions or we're done" or Nomura just was like "i recently went to disney land and you gotta put this in it's dope". Joke aside it is one of the worst parts of the game since I can't turn them off and it is hard to get around them. Let me turn them off fully or let them be used as an ability where you can add them in if you want it. Customization should be more of a thing than a gimmick you keep getting. Also they show up so often and I believe in every enemy spawn group. Multiple times even if you miss it the first time. Having so much prominence placed onto this one mechanic just shows they went in hard on it and sure if it was just the rock titan or just the horde of heartless at the end or maybe even rare I wouldn't find it much of a problem but it is EVERY FREAKING COMBAT. I hit that button on accident more times than I wanted to that in general I was trying to use a spell but I missed it by seconds or something and the carnival ride started up and I just said "god dammit" and had to end it dealing a burst of damage since you can't just stop it, it has to go full swing. Also only in critical mode is kind of bullshit. Add it to every mode in the game and it'll be less of an issue.

5: Nitpick/Sora is an idiot - Look I don't mean the whole "he's so stupid now he just is always happy or has dumb dialogue" I mean the idiot tried to touch fire and instead of water magic which he now has and I spammed on the fire balls he walked up to a freaking inferno of flames and just tried to see if it was hot by touching it with his bare hands. Shit Sora you dumb fuck Goofy had a better idea than the mage and the main character and he's not always the brightest. Fuck you.

6: There is too much stuff in this game - Way too many mechanics and most of them are on forever. You have so much you can do such as the shotlock, Flowmotion, Carnival rides, Extra forms, Summoning the fat cat dream pokemon, so many mini games,  just so much shit and I'm sure I forgot something. Now look I can let go of the whole "cat" thing because it is a summon and those are normal but in general it just feels like the entire game was overloaded with everything from every other game EXCEPT for cards and if we don't have cards for character upgrades or something it feels like a waste. (that's a joke) The point is that there is too much stuff and it's all filler and fluff and we can just have a nice game without 10,000 things to learn in the first section of the game.

7: Nitpick/ I think the selfies are just dumb - I've taken a total of maybe 5 selfies. All of which are to show a single person in that specific moment. Selfies don't really do much in the world we play in for KH3 and I just think it is in general a dumb game mechanic. However it is not required to do so it's not a big deal to have in. Just another nitpick.

8: Food and cooking - Look, this is not monster hunter. This is not another game where food is an important detail and sure I don't mind the addition of it if you really wanna put it in but it does make the game easier when used. In that direction fine making a game easier isn't a bad thing, however, constantly telling me now is a good time to find ingredients for little chef is annoying every time. I could figure it out if I really wanted it but in general since it is an optional mechanic to which I can just buy the parts for it and even the food at a kupo shop than what is the point in adding in the game play mechanics for it? The mini games are dumb and take too long to do for such a small mini game. Crack and egg get soup. Nothing else but crack an egg. So than the game is too short for a mechanic I'm supposed to do often? Why not add in a larger game so that I can help him create the object one time to see if he likes it and then when he adds it on I can order the object from him. Don't add it into the kupo store if I you want me to make it and don't make me make it be so tedious if you want me to make it. Also why is sora cooking at all? It's Remys passion not mine. He's even shown to run a packed restaurant all on his own at the end of the game in the credits scene.

9: More customization please - Here's a major issue I have with the game. There is less customization compared to other games. This is strange as in general it seems to be the same. The problem is this. I have to use flowmotion in the game. It is not an option because in certain levels it is a legitimate requirement to use for moving elsas castle. It is required in a couple other places as well but the point still stands. I need to have them equipped in order to make progress. The fact that in KH2 I could turn off big moves from team members but cannot now takes the agency away from me from making my fighting style more what I want to do. This means in order for me to really enjoy the game I have to really accept mechanics I was not a fan of in DDD. Maybe having an option for character customization such as turning off forms, and what special attacks you wanna do would be nice instead of giving everything under the sun. Do I want to be a fast mobile fighter? Than make that a character level abiliy choice instead of just making me have it from the start and also making it mandatory for levels. Allow me to remove the big moves with my team and stop making them always on since I never liked them. Sure I can ignore them but it comes down to the same thing as the attractions. Sometimes you cannot avoid hitting the wrong thing. This also goes into the whole magic sucking ass in this game. Every spell is offensive and thus it just feels like it is the same. Wanna do a little small thing with some damage? Wanna do massive damage comparatively? It just feels like they wanted to simplify the whole having a summon, having a spell, having 2 items on or something along those lines. This stops you from having more options on your character and just stream lines you in to a generic build. I didn't use ice once past the first time finding out its pretty much a fire ball. I used cure, fire, water, thunder. Thunder for crowds, fire for damage, water for crowds also because I just stopped caring and cura cause I heal all my damage cause DONALD NEVER HEALS YOU. WE'RE 4000 GAMES IN MAKE DONALD HEAL BETTER. This again comes back to the limits. Let me turn them off since I do not like them. If they worked as magic they would be better cause the magic sucks ass in the game. I mostly after a while stopped doing any real care in magic and just used healing. This also comes back to the original abilities in second form that you can unlock via smacking them with your keyblade. They would be nice since the magic in the game again sucks ass so having something to use magic bar that is not cure would be a nice touch.

10: For a guy who lost his powers I sure have a ton of abilities right away - Remember when in the beginning of each game you lost all your powers and had to slowly unlock everything and it would come to you not just willy nilly? Man those were the days. Could earn powers for reasons. I'm not helpless in the game if I can run up mountains or sky scrapers. If I can glide with the shotlock from one spot to another. I'm too strong if anything at the start and it just makes you feel like the game is padding time before the small amount of story at the end that matters. This could have literally been with the final chapter prologue and it would have worked fine. But no, we didn't get that. That leads into us just spending time until something happens. The story has its own issues (which I will touch up on near the end) and it has some really bad pacing issues. There is bad pacing, and then there is bad writing because of bad pacing. Why not put some shit in the middle. Show I'm getting better instead of just having me just do everything all at once.  That's not really an issue if they space parts of it in or let me play as the other characters while sora is fucking off for power. Imagine if they added in more parts with Riku while Sora quests for strength. Imagine us going through the land of darkness instead of just Disney world after Disney world. Imagine what we could have had had it not just been all the Disney stuff then the finale all at once. It wasn't bad pacing for the end to pick up, it was bad pacing for there to be nothing in the middle. This is where the final fantasy characters could have been nice. Adding in the end of the Cloud and Sephiroth stuff so we can fight for more power there. Having us talk with Leon and the gang while they battle with some heartless just in the area and needing help. This would have made better pacing since it would have cut the monotony of the Disney grind. There are times when you just sit there waiting for stuff to happen as you run through world after world waiting for plot in general to just move forward. This does not mean it is bad pacing, this just means there is nothing important going on and leads to the story just falling short of being gripping and engaging. I again bring up the final fantasy characters because let's face it, if they did exist it would give something in general more time to flesh out. There is nothing to do but repeated disney movies that either play out like normal or that you play no real part in since it is after the story in the whole movie. Sure it was great to see what happened with boo and the monsters but Randall just is there and I'm sure he was gone at the end of the first movie. In fact after using my Disney plus account (#notsponsored) to just hit the end of the movie it shows him in a trailer getting beat with a shovel. He probably got back but still.

11: The combat is too "floaty" - I'm in the sky like fucking constantly man. Like all the time. Which is a bad thing since the fucking god damned level creation is now just a tall hallway. See I say tallway (patent pending) beause the level of the game is still pretty small but now it just also goes up a long way. I know this because there are so many flashing walls that there should be seizure warnings in the beginning of the game. It doesn't stop either since in general you have to climb high and doing so brings you ledges and if you have to hit people flying then you are gonna fall. Sure we can use magic but magic runs out and is complete ass. Now look this isn't just me saying it can happen since it does right in the hercules area. The first area where they could have been testing thing and probably did which means someone dealt with this shit and said it was fine enough to pass. That's just bad game mechanics right there. If you want me to be floaty in combat that do not put ledges I can fall down in your game. I do not want to climb all the way back to the top just to get into more fights I might fall down because of. Maybe make the parts I'm on bigger platforms. It just seems they want us to use the attractions because you can't fall off the safe attractions. Another thing is that it isn't just combat that is "floaty" but your movement is also a little too fast. Making larger areas and then making us speed up into a sprint is fine but having me stop right next to a save spot inches too short of touching it only for me to Vroom Vroom right over it because of how fast and far I move is god damned infuriating. It also continues combat wise as an issue in that once you get the ability to knock people up you start going into air combat and smacking them away and you can do that so much since in general the areas you fight in are so large that you can knock a single heartless out of the spawning area enough that you have to run back to fight it.

12: Proud mode is a fucking joke - I think I died a total of one time in proud mode which is probably more than others. See the difficulty has been said to be really easy on this games play through and I'm inclined to believe them. Here is the thing. I know critical mode now exists. I just don't like it. See critical mode was doable in 2 since it was just again harder stuff but in this it is no longer you playing KH3. It is you playing Dark Souls which if I wanted to play that kind of game I'd pop in my copy of bloodborne or turn on my copy of dakr souls 2 which in general I'm not a huge fan of so I stopped playing those games. Difficulty in a game is fine but there is going from hard to fuck why am I playing dark souls? No I'm not the kind of guy who says anything hard is dark souls because I grew up in the era of gaming where games had one difficulty and you had to learn to "get gud" or deal with never winning. Even if I was never good at games I didn't shy away from things being difficult. There is however an exception that the game changes so drastically that there is no happy medium between pants shittingly hard or baby mode. The other thing is that in general DLC should not dictate if a game is good on its own. DLC is meant to enhance the fucking experience and should not make me want to have to buy something (this was free) to get a god damned happy experience out of something that cost me top dollar to begin with. If I need your DLC to have fun or enjoy the story than you clearly missed the damned mark. DLC is extra boss battles. It is final mix of the game when it comes out. It turns your vanilla play through into more than what it once was. It adds aesthetics to the game not makes the game difficult and if it does it doesn't make the game different to such a degree that I'd rather fucking play a game that was created to be that difficult because their combat system is hand crafted for said difficulty. Secondly on that list of being too easy who the fuck thought kupo coins was a good idea. I literally just stopped giving a shit since I could use my now always full magic bar since magic is ass to heal when I needed it and to just run away with my big fucking area during battles and not take damage until I could go in and do slappies for a while before running away and gauging if I need to heal and then if I died come back to life. With all the power moves and free attractions each combat I could have beaten proud mode without gimping myself by trying to not use attractions. The forms didn't help with that either because I would just second form and have a brand new powerful thing to do since it was right there. Not only that but rage form is a full heal and why am I heartless sora again? Either way rage form into run away fast because I run like I'm form kenya with all the movement abilities and then with kupo coin and magic makes the difficulty in here easier than "just don't use it". Mostly because it is implemented in the game and they want you to use it. Telling someone not to use the thing is again stupid because if they didn't want me to use it they would remove the feature. This is no longer a kids game. I'm over 10 years older than I once was and I'm a big boy and want to not be treated like a child. Sure they could be putting it in for kids but why not just have it in easy mode since kids will either do easy mode or know they want that extra challenge.

13: Many of the fights and heartless are just not that good compared to earlier games - So firstly the giant horde of heartless was cool one time. Each time you fight it it gets more and more boring and feels like a cop out on trying to make a good battle and a "oh man this is such a cool idea lets use it alot more than we need to". For a game that was in development for 6 years you think they would have more varied enemies and fights and by that I mean more better heartless. Also some of the heartless are just kinda eh in general. Not only that but the places we visit feel like the heartless are kinda thrown in there and they just made way less enemies than normal. Maybe that is me forgetting if other games did the same thing but I can remember many places having more unique enemies that made more sense. Like why is the monkey heartless here? This is not the time to return to monke or some shit like that and it makes 0 sense when I have to fight it in more than one area. How about the lady heartless with the umbrella. Doesn't fit in every single place it shows up and just feels like it is there. Sometimes they do a nice job putting in certain heartless such as the reindeer which I thought was a nice touch but i don't remember them interacting at all with the reindeer from frozen. I also in general remember each heartless having a newer form such as the fat heartless eventually turned into fire breathers and then eventually into shield dudes. They do not make a reappearance but the fat ones show up all over the place and it would be nice to fight things that are great for the area. Some just also have eh designs and the game just feels poorly made because of it. Some bosses are just boring as well. In fact off the top of my head I can't really remember one I like but I sure as shit can remember the one I hated most which happens to be the airship section where you board a machine gun heartless to fight that sky bird thing in the pirates section. I even found the robots in general tedious because they were hard to beat without the use of the robot suits and felt like another tacked on gimmick to use to make combat more easy. Had they been a single section and not everywhere in the store it would have been cooler but instead we had many fights to do with robots who almost always wrecked my shit. In fact it ruined combat a little for me in general and made the section of toy story a little less good. See most of these issues I have with the places are the grand scale of things and having to go back and forth with them with having really unmemorable heartless for the most part and just not finding the game to be that great with some of the more important parts. Enemies help to flesh the game out to be cooler and as much as I love the generic heartless the worlds make the heartless cooler by making them change to be better suited for the world they are in. Having extra enemies like nobodies and unversed without having much of a reason to have them there other than "you remember this right?" seems like a waste of design chances. Some just either were frustrating tank sponges and the others were just not good. The other issue is some bosses appeared numerous times and just didn't feel impressive when fighting them since they just keep coming back. The giant heartless who I saw in hercules mode coming back on the bridge where you first meet Baymax makes the scene not great since it is a simple color swap at most and it is the same thing again. A lot of the bosses in general just feel ok at best too design wise. I can look back at many of the designs and just name really enjoyable ones who are better than the ones we got here. Honestly the designs are just so much of a let down I don't even wanna revisit the stages which is good because the game just isnt that much fun. One of the more unfun parts of enemies is also the shield stuff they have sometimes which is just more ways to give them extra health. Why not just in general just give them more health since it is just a way to beef them up? Not only are they now mostly damage sponges but the fact that some turn into shielded damage sponges just makes me less happy to fight things. The worst version of unfun boss happens to be the lich at the end when you need to rescue everyone from it. The thing is that it not only takes forever and makes you have to fight it numerous times but it also has the ability to make you unlock from it and in such large areas that becomes tedious to deal with lengthening the entire fight from the already long fight it is.

14: Quick speed round of things I don't like that are just not as good as earlier games - Magic sucks in this game. It's all relatively the same since it is all offensive. Aero was in general the same as thunder since it is aoe with a secondary effect. Water, Fire, Ice are all the same as they shoot a ball of the element that homing devices onto an enemy and when not in general locked on fucks off wherever. I miss the older spells and how they worked and felt more unique in 2 while also having more than just offense. Maybe introduce more spells to the next main entry based on the spells of every other game? I'm just not a fan of some of these worlds as they are all new. I haven't had a chance to catch most of the new movies (even thought I have disney plus which is great you should totally buy it #stillnotsponsored) I just don't like some of the places and the mini games in the don't help. Slight inconvenience but making me have to press x as I load new levels is kinda dumb. Maximus should be a party member. Give me him instead of eugene. Why do I need the flowmotion to progress? Hooray WATER LEVELS MY FAVORITE. Crabs. Watch me beat davy jones in a 4 on 1 battle.Darkubes are dumb. Jesus christ Jiminy shut up I'm trying to grind in the best place for the end game. Oh look it's an organization member maybe I can figh....nah they gone now. THERE ARE SO MANY CUTSCENES.

15: 2 final things before the story issues - Playing as other characters, keyblade forms. One of the biggest gripes I had in this was each time I used a new keyblade i wanted to fight with it and not transform into a new form because I do not like the new forms. They do nothing for me and since they kind of all are ok at best that it just kinda feels meh to me to use them. I pretty much used the kingdom key because second form was fine and stayed a keyblade. If anything I would rather have a new style of fighting like second form in general like the original forms are in KH2. I like valor and wisdom form and as cool of a call back as it was for the 2 first keyblades to be given to you I don't like the final ability to be used which makes me less inclined to find a weapon I do like. Which leads into my second final gripe. I was really excited to play as multiple keyblade wielders. Playing as mickey in 2 was super fucking cool and I miss that. Playing as Aqua and Riku in this made me hope for eventual fights at the end where it was each person fought someone else and you would get an ability to play through a final area for extra boss fights as any character for extra gameplay. I was excited to see what Axel and Kairi could do since in general they finally had moments to shine. You could make them fight and even if they did win just have them lose via cutscene and bring back Roxas and have Xion turn to your side. So many issues I have with that because it goes into another issue of.......

16: Everyone but Sora is fucking worthless - I have seen Dragonball GT and the main main main main main issue I have with that show is no one matters except Goku. See in other series characters could fight and kill or do something against the not main villain and be worth a damn but when GT happened everyone kinda just. Became worthless. No one could win a fight except Goku especially near the end when they had him fight 7 dragons. Sora does the same here when he has to be involved the final boss rush in the game. I'd have liked to see other characters stand out but even then he is the only one who can fight Xehanort when Mickey failed to do anything. It was all sora. Even waking Aqua was all sora. The only time someone did something was when Aqua fought Vanitas and still got her shit kicked in at the end during the cinematic and at that point he just didn't wanna fight 3 people. This is a shame because as I already said it would have been cooler to have those characters fight people and it matter. Let's break down the people who would be on our side Riku Kairi Axel Roxas Terra Ven Aqua Xion Sora Mickey Thats a total of 10 different people to play as. That would have made the final boss fights unique and super cool. You say that would have taken so much time and I say "Cool" but it would have been cooler to fight as these different characters. If they put in 2 extra just do them all. It is the most let down of let downs in gameplay mechanics. Who could they have fought in the game? Let's look at the villains Xigbar Marluxia Terranort Young Xehanort Xemnas Ansem Larxene Luxord Older Xehanort Evil Clone Riku Vanitas Saix Xion There are 12 total people to fight that are not the original Xehanort and each one could be fought with someone totally different. If Xion fights twice but wasn't really trying the first time she can be fine for the second battle. Let's give everyone a person to fight. Let's get the easy ones out of the way. Remember the ones who we fight first don't matter as much because each person not Older Xehanort do not matter even if they are him in other forms. Terra as the lingering will is gonna fight Terranort and get his body back. Riku can fight Ansem who tries to use his darkness and their past against him. Kairi can fight Xion who is noticed to not even be trying and then kairi can be captured to still do the ending they planned for. Xion who now defects can join and fight Larxene Axel can fight Xemnas and lose leaving him almost die while Roxas can jump out and fight him instead Ventus can finally defeat Vanitas Aqua can fight and defeat Xigbar who she has some history with Sora can fight and defeat Luxord so he can give him the card he was going to give. This fight can be more simple than the others and Sora can have to fight against the other Riku Mickey can fight Marluxia Before losing his fight with Xemnas Axel can fight and beat Saix We get to the final battle and while Sora who ran off to find Kairi he has to get through Younger Xehanort to get to the older one.

Look at that clean battle line up. Throw them in the correct order and you can have fights with so many people and even do the stuff needed for it to make the story go smoothly. Everyone gets to be unique and have their day in the sun. The final fight would be sora and gang fighting Xehanort and since the end game would be choose who fights who you can literally have over 120 different fights total if you leave out Donald and Goofy from the sora versions of fights. Heck allow us to fight the final boss final main form and we can in general have even more as we fight him with each character.

17: What is the difference between a heart and a soul? - This is a simple question because they keep saying we don't need the bodies cause we still have their hearts and I'm just having troubles figuring out if the story writers know the damn difference between a heart which is a physical thing or a concept of the soul which is the metaphysical thing. You know like what makes you you.

18: Why doesn't Axel have 2 keyblades? - Like I like that he holds it the way he does, it's very him very unique and all that but if Roxas can have 2 and he gets one from Xion who is no longer a part of him because she is right there than why can't Axel who is specifically a dual wielder of weapons get 2 of them? I mean give the main a sword that is like a Chinese Dao sword combo. It literally is a blade that turns into 2 blades. Like don't even tell me that shit is unable to happen cause Ventus fucking gets that strange keyblade because it is unique to his style so if that is how it works and they all have based on their personality he should have two. Especially since it would be a great call back to my favorite Axel line in the entire series. "Two!?"

19: Clone Riku should not be a boss - Remember when we beat the shit out of Riku as Sora and then Riku clone and then Riku beat Riku clones ass? He's not a challenge. "He was given more darkness powers" Nice, cool cop out there. Fuck you.

20: Why kill everyone just to set up a story line when you could just do it better - So this one is a little subjective. Need sora to meet Chirithy or whatever its name is and maybe set up remind dlc or whatever but in the end you could have just broke his spirit from his body and put him in the other world by making Xehanort who tried taking him over show him everyone dying and it causing Sora to blank out and travel there as a spirit or some shit. It could have worked just as fine allowing the rest of everyone else to go fight the enemies at the end giving sora time to eventually wake up and join in while Donald and Goofy protect him. Then when he wakes up Luxord who could have said "I'll handle the boy when he wakes up could have just did what he wanted to do with the card then. It's just a dumb moment and we could have instead of dumb gameplay where we have to put ourselves back together and have to save everyone and re watch a stupid ass cutscene just watched a cutscene and went back while everyone handled what they needed to.

So before I get into the final 4 parts to get into I hope that you know I was trying to be really fair with a bunch of these and not just looking for things to gripe about. When I didn't understand things I made myself look up to make sure I understood and didn't just bitch about it for the sake of bitching. These last 4 things are kind of in general I beleive super fair.

1: The battles stop as you talk with each person - Nothing kills a fight sequence like starting it, defeating a single enemy in it, talking with a full blown conversation to them, then as they die restart with another fight scene to do it with every single person in the fight. WHY WOULD MARLUXIA AND LARXENE ALLOW LUXORD TO GIVE HIM A CARD? Why would they stop fighting? Why would Ansem, Xemnas, and Young Xehanort watch as one of the others fell and talked? Why would any sane fucking person do that? It makes 0 sense and ruins that boss rush.

2: I know you need to set up another game but fuck you - You literally made the happiest of endings where everything is the best for everyone ever and I MEAN EVERYONE except for Sora and Kairi. Fucking fuck you man. I'm not even mad that that was the ending but when everyone comes up fucking peaches and cream I tend to question the product even if they need to set up story. They can do it better, do what you did at the end of 2 and send a message in a bottle and say "there are still other worlds out there that need us, just not in this universe" or some shit like that. Shit if in general they can have emotions in games than have sora have to jump into the game. You already said my microwave can feel love so than if he can be in that rex universe than he can just go in after he has a nice break with all of his friends.

3: No - Xehanort was not a good guy the entire time. He literally murdered people and stole a childs body and ripped the emotions out of another child and made them not whole. He got a child so angry he murdered his new sorta dad. He pretty much was the whole reason anything bad happened and he was "misguided and wanted to good but did bad to do so". Then in the end he's forgiven and everything is fucking fine? Then he turns into a good guy and goes into the big heart in the sky. This is the kind of writing that literally kills off stories for at least me. Not everyone needs a second chance and sometimes people are just evil. We need stories that have people die at the end sometimes. I know it is fantasy and it can be all rainbows and butterflies but dear god Steven Universe was literally "no you" and that was the end of the entire fucking series. This is the same thing. It might not be "no you" but fuck this ending. This was a story that was supposed to end a 17 year long story and the end of this single part literally spits in the face of people who played it by saying "hey guys, he wasn't bad, he is sorry now". That is complete and utter horse shit. I don't mind that this is not the end of the series. I don't care because if I stuck around this long I would do the same if the story had a satisfying ending. Fuck man in the new game he's even evil then unless that is just how Kairi remembers him but let's face it. The gang would have told her what happened and this is just horse shit in general. This is a fucking stupid story and I literally am fine with alternate realities since time travel and other dumb stuff has been the main name of the game the entire fucking time but let's face it. This is one of the worst ideas for an ending for a villain. The buold up is fucking massive and the payout is just sad.

4: NO - Fucking xigbar. I don't even know how to put this into words how much of a let down it is for Xigbar, Fucking XIGBAR to be the next main enemy. (or at least it looks that way). Fucking we could have had Luxord. We could have had Marluxia. We could have had Demyx. We could have had fucking I don't know Vexen. We could have had fucking anyone but we get Xigbar. You could have slapped any other character onto his scenes and gotten the same amount of out of nowhere shit to explain him being next but it is fucking xigbar. Fucking unreal.

So yeah. That's my massive wrap up on KH3 and I personally do not know where I stand from here. Maybe if the next game doesn't play like shit in 400 years when Nomura gets off his ass and lets us have kingdom hearts 3.76 tie in to 4 which is oddly enough a main title and not a second part of 3 I'll see how it plays. Until then I think I'm gonna sit hereand never touch 3 again and never finish Melody of Memory.

#kingdom hearts #3 #kingdomhearts3 #kh3 #kingdom #hearts #Kindom Hearts 3

[i-dont-want-your-hysteria]

The Leppard Albums: A Summary

(inspired by Every Beatles Album)

Happy Saturday night everyone

The Def Leppard EP

Joe is 19 and just wants to ride a motorcycle okay

Groupie fantasy

Zeppelin lyrics meet Rush with an underappreciated bass line

On Though the Night

IT'S!!! ROCK!!! N ROLL!!! BABEY!!!

Joe is 20 and just really doesn't wanna work in a factory anymore okay

pls D; girl D; stop D; hiding D; your D; pain!!

another... groupie fantasy... I think? ...???

Leppard in Space

Joe is 20 and just wants to write something edgy okay leave him alone

STEVE 👏👏👏 FUCKING 👏👏👏 CLARK!!!! 👏👏🔥👏🔥👏👌👌

the original groupie fantasy but it's been re-recorded

girl?? make up?? your mind???

let's be mysteriously edgy ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Zeppelin lyrics meets Rush but it's been re-recorded (but don't worry they still kept the underappreciated bass line)

High N Dry

everyone in this band is a slutty bottom and this is the song that proves it

we have Mutt Lange now and this is the song that proves it

drONK TIEM

betcha didn't think we could write a ballad, did ya ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

STÊVË!!!!! 👏👏👏👏 FÜCKÎÑ!!!!!! 👏👏👏👏👏 C L Ã R K!!!!!!!!!!!!! 🔥🔥🔥🔥👏👌👌🤙👏👌🔥👌🎉🎉

underappreciated and that's all there is to it

noooo don't go you're too mysterious and sexy hahhaha

oh god Dx oh god no Dx we don't sound like this anymore we swear Dx

betcha thought we stopped writing Beowulf-esque pop songs didn't ya ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

🚫🚫⛔👎🚫🙅‍♂️👎🚫⛔🙅‍♂️⛔ *Joe tearing his throat up for 2 solid minutes*

Pyromania

IT'S ROCK!!!!!! N ROLL!!!! BABEY!!!!!!!1!!!!1!!1!! AGAIN!!!!! 😆😆😆

the Classic Rock Fandom™ in a nutshell 😓

INTRODUCING PHIL 👌👌👌 FUCKING👏👏 COLLEN 🔥🔥🔥

betcha thought we abandoned the idea of doing a ballad didn't ya ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Joe's back at it again with the edgy songs and is getting a lot better at it too

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ∆ ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Gunter 🙃 Glieben 🙃 Glauchen 🙃 Globen

the most underappreciated song on this whole entire fucking list sorry I don't make the rules

Alright, WHO in this band wants to be in a porno >:C

Joe's back at it yet again with the edgy songs but it's even BETTER this time

Hysteria

Girls Girls Girls ALL WOMEN ARE QUEENS ANAKIN

🎸we!!! fucking!!! love!!!! glam rock!!!!!! and african drum rhythms!!!!!!!!!🥁

we're not furries we swear we're just kinky D: also fuck you DJs here's some false endings

we haven't made a ballad that HURTS yet so here we go (with an underappreciated bass line)

the song that invented "( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)" (AKA when you cram for a test the minute before and end up getting 100%)

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)😏( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)😏( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

S T E V E 😭👏👏 F U C K I N 😭😭😭 C L A R K 👏👏👏😭👏😭

nooo don't shoot me you're too kinky hahaha

a song about rioting and being #punk, but the only crime the man singing it has ever committed was getting a speeding ticket when he was 19/20

oh. oh shit. oh god. holy shi- I can't believe... ...we just accidentally made the most perfect song to ever exist :o like seriously- people are achieving nirvana as we speak I'm not joking I think we went too far with the perfection this time guys

THIS SONG IS ABOUT S E X AND WE AIN'T BEING SHY ABOUT IT EITHER LET'S FUCKIN GO BABE-

Don't 👏 give 👏 me 👏 love 👏

Adrenalize

gkKLglldlflhlADKSLALLFLSS 😆😆😆

I fucking love my wife uWu

fkKMglgllsLLslgflephpGLDLPT 😆(͠≖ ͜ʖ͠≖)😆

We're just gonna get extremely romantic and passionate for 4 minutes and 3 seconds if that's alright with you (͠≖ ͜ʖ͠≖)

this album was the most painful thing any of us have ever had to do, so here's the most serious song we've ever done to date. Steve ✊ Fucking ✊ Clark ✊ -n-

now that our mental breakdown is over, we're gonna get extremely passionate and romantic again but for a lil longer this time aiight 🤙

one of us has a protection/ownership kink but we're not gonna tell you who

you know what this album needs? a little bit more pain

we're layin down the line (and by that we mean we want sex)

we're layin down the line pt.2 (we still want sex btw)

Retro Active

Beowulf songs are back babey 🤙

I'll say that again if I have to^

we!!! still!!! fucking!!! love!!!! glam rock!!!!! we even covered something to prove it!!!!!!

Joe has now officially mastered ballads

I fucking love my wife part 2: she's a badass top

While Joe was off mastering ballads, Phil studied the blade

We covered something else bc again!!! we fucking!!! love!!! glam!!!

We rewrote Joe's motorcycle song bc we now realize it was cringe af (and it was an excuse for Joe to talk to Ian Hunter so that made him happy)

Joe has now officially mastered edgy/serious songs

it's a total bop but oh god. No. Please. No. Oh God. No. Don't. Please. No. Pls. No. Oh god. Don't.

This should've been on Adrenalize and you can Fight Me On That

Phil studies the blade (electric version)

Joe masters ballads (electric version)

Vault (there's only one new song on here so that's all I'm doing)

babe nooooo D';

Slang

Epic edgelords part 1

Epic edgelords part 2: Phil wrote it this time

everyone in this band is a slutty bottom and this is the song that proves it Volume 2: Electric Bugaloo

soft breakdown :'c

hOT DOGGITY DAMN JOE'S VOICE HOLY HELL TAKE ME N- *clears throat* I mean introducing Vivian Campbell :3 aND THERE'S A BASS SOLO MMMM 🤤🤤👌 THIS SONG IS JUST SEXY FUCKIN LIFT ME UP AND-

Phil's marriage isn't going too well

in fact, no one's marriages are going too well

severely underrated bop

We're still not over Steve's death and we never will be :c

Joe makes edgy ballads his bitch yet again 👏👏

severely underrated banger 🔥🔥🔥

Euphoria

wE STILL MAKE FAST BOPS IN CASE YOU FORGOT 🤘🤘🤘🤘🤘🤘🤘

Holy shit I didn't know Joe could hit a note that high

The 90s sucked for us but we'rE STILL HERE BICH 🖕

Can we pls give Sav more songwriting space on albums thx 😭💗

everyone in this band is a slutty bottom and this is the song that proves it Volume 3: Even Sluttier This Time 😏

totally different from everything we've ever done and WE 👏 MADE IT 👏 OUR 👏 EDGY 👏 BITCH

uwu but it's sad so it's actually umu

partying like it's 1999- oh wait, it actually is 1999

*hugs Viv and scREEEEEEEEAAAMMS*

Phil studied the blade and attacks you with it

*gets escorted into the back of a police car* IM GUILTY!! I'M GUILTY!!! I'M NOT INNOCENT!!! 😫😫😫

whatever edginess we couldn't fit into Paper Sun we put into this song instead

we're entering the new millennium as Kings and there's nothing you can do about it 👑🖕

X (Ten)

Stand on a balcony at sunset when you listen to this one

(insert Vizzini saying "INCONCEIVABLE" here)

the big UwU

I got ghosted and it’s actually a lot more dark and depressing than I thought also I wish I was never awake

soft and edgy and sad acoustic dads

F-U-C-K SPELLS F- I mean L-O-V-E spells love uWu

babe nOOOooO I'm sorry I suck so much DD;

this sounds like out if Work It Out and Day After Day had a kid

we're gonna have a Funky Good Time whether you like it or not 😎

E D G E L O R D S 2 0 0 2

we can't decide if we want this album to be edgy or uwu so we're gonna make it both

the same passion as Tonight but less sexy and more (you guessed it) uwu

E D G E L O R D S 2 0 0 2 P A R T 2

Betcha thought our emo phase was over didn't ya ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Yeah!

bops have been and will ALWAYS be something we have mastered- even if the song we're playing isn't ours

SAV'S TIME TO SHINE

betcha thought we couldn't cover a Blondie song, did ya ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Phil's just getting nostalgic about London it's fine 👍

don't worry joe's still sCREAMIN

in which we make this song a million times better than the original

WE LOVE ROXY MUSIC SO MUCH WE CANTEXPLAINWEJUSTLOVEHEMRMFLGPHPH

we're letting Joe have his moment ok just let him have this 👨‍🎤

yeah we like Free- so whAT??

okay NOW we're letting Joe have his real moment- he's been waiting for this moment ever since he was like 12 okay just. let him. have this just. this one time. pls.

in which we confuse literally everyone by making them think this is a song that we wrote

we just need ONE more bop, okay? Just ONE more we swear then we'll stop being fanboys (for now...)

we'll be right back, it's Bow Down To Thin Lizzy Hour

*Phil tearing up his throat for 4 and a half solid minutes*

Songs From The Sparkle Lounge

this one's actually kinda dark and heavy? :o

honky tonk time 🤠🤙

FINALLY ONE OF SAV'S SONGS IS THE MOST POPULAR SONG OFF AN ALBUM 🙏🙏🙏🙏😩

FINALLY WE HAVE MORE SAV MATERIAL I LOVE IT SM ;∆; !!!!

Phil's songs are severely underrated tho pls give them more attention

it's time for one (1) badass religious song and if you don't like it then you can Fuck Off kindly 🙃

This whole album is "Songs That Were Written By Phil and Viv and Sav" heaven

I think sometimes people forget that we, even as a band, are fans of the Classic Rock Fandom™ too, and we feel the same pain as the other fans :'^)🤙

Joe's three minutes of fame on this album

Joe's three minutes of fame on this album part 2

Viv's songs are severely underrated tho pls give them more attention

Mirror Ball (bonus tracks)

we grabbed fate by the balls and screamed fUCK YOU 🖕🖕

We are still Kings™ in case anyone was wondering 👑🖕

✨PHIL BELIEVES!!!! IN!!!!! LOVE!!!!!!!! AND!!!!!!!!!! BELIEVING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!✨

Def Leppard (Self Titled 2015)

Is this song about playing a live show? Probably. Is it also about having a fight? Is it also about angry sex? The world may never know.

Okay this one just absolutely SLAPS, periodt.

bootleg Another One Bites The Dust

*SOBBING* THEY'RE ALL SINGING LEAD I'M-

being badass, That's The Power Of Love

don't worry, we still know how to be Poetically Edgy

iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii'm *bump bump* hooked on a feeeeling

I've Got a Spiritual Romantic Boner

Can't Keep Away From The Flame edginess gets crossed with some Zeppelin charm and badassery

someone in this band is fucking piSSED 😠😠😠😠

we're gonna @ someone tonight fellas

sAV OH MY GOD BABYYYYY 😰😰😭😭😭😭 DO YOU NEED A HUG

what if we tried to cross newer Metallica with Nickelback 🤔

what if we turned this into We All Need Christmas three years from now... 🤔

Bonus: Personal Jesus/We All Need Christmas

Viv really wanted to cover ABBA but everyone said no so he settled for cowboy goth™ instead

What better man to write a warm and fuzzy Christmas song than the warm and fuzziest man alive (Sav)

#def leppard #joe elliott #rick savage #phil collen #steve clark #rick allen #vivian campbell #shitty memes #on through the night #high n dry #Pyromania #hysteria #Adrenalize #retro Active #vault #slang #euphoria #x (ten) #yeah! #songs from the sparkle lounge #mirror Ball #def leppard (self titled) #personal jesus #we all need Christmas #I'm sorry with how stupid this is but it had to be done and i felt qualified enough to do this #happy Saturday night y'all

[radramblog]

Radiohead Retrospective Part 6: I try to sing along but I get it all wrong (‘CAUSE I’M NOT)

I don’t have as much to say about the lead-in to Hail to the Thief, much like I didn’t have much to say about that for Amnesiac. There isn’t as earth-shattering a shift as Kid A, and there isn’t a big story like with The Bends or OK Computer.

Hail to the Thief was (probably) the first batch of music Radiohead recorded after the sessions that produced Kid A/Amnesiac, meaning they had the full breadth of that experience to work with. What we received as a result was somewhat of a fusion of the electronic/jazz-influences of those albums and the rockier stuff of the band’s past.

Now I’ve heard a fair few complaints that this album is too long. That’s probably fair, it’s their longest album, with a total of 14 tracks, meaning it does kinda drag on a bit. Thom Yorke apparently agrees, seeing as he put out an alternative tracklist in ’08 (link) missing four songs. At the same time, I’m going to pull Death of the Author on this one, because as much as I’ve seen people complain that there’s too many songs on this, nobody ever seems to get along with which ones they’d cut- let alone people wanting to pull B-sides in the mix.

But we’re getting ahead of ourselves there, aren’t we? Suppose I should just talk about the fucking album.

We begin this record, like all Radiohead records, with studio chatter. Wait, what the fuck? Yeah, it’s quiet but it’s there. Why not, right?

2+2=5 is a lovely little banger to open on. Unquestionably a rock song, it features a very slow and quiet (and heavily panned) first half before just fucking exploding in the latter half. It genuinely might be the most aggressive track the band has put out, a manic cascade of energy and breathy falsetto that’s genuinely headbangable. It’s also a fun thing to try and read the lyrics for, since the booklet the album comes with gives up for this bit and just goes “eezeepeezee NOT” or something along that line.

Oh yeah, that’s actually something worth bringing up. Neither Kid A nor Amnesiac had lyric booklets, deliberately obscuring the actual words to the songs, to the point where people had pretty wide interpretations of what they actually were. Considering the incompleteness of 2+2=5’s entry in it’s booklet, perhaps similar occurred with that. I’m still unsure if the subtitle of this post is actually the real lyrics.

Most people, I think, read the name of this track and just kind of assume it’s about 1984, the book boomers bring up whenever their freedumbs are impinged upon. And it’s not not about 1984, but there are extremely specific political references as well- Hail to the Thief, title of the album and line in the track, is a quote regarding the U.S. President of the time, George W Bush, who lost the popular vote but won the electoral college- something that sounds awfully familiar to those of us living in 2021. “January has April Showers” similarly refers to the unseasonable weather of Bush’s inauguration.

The last thing I’d like to bring up before we finally move onto the second track is that every single song in this album has a subtitle- for 2+2=5, it’s (The Lukewarm). According to Yorke, it’s a reference to Dante’s Inferno- the Lukewarm being the people around the edge of hell, damned due to their passive indifference- the kind of people the song’s lyric, “you have not been paying attention”, is referring to. I’m literally learning these meanings now, so we’ll see how many are worth bringing up.

Perhaps fortunately for my word count, Sit Down. Stand Up (yes the full stop/period is part of the title) (that’s not the subtitle) doesn’t have quite as much going on. Though it does have a video, for some reason. It’s a sort of repetitive trance of lyrics set to an electronic percussion, distant piano, and….I don’t know what other instrument is making those light dings. A xylophone? Interestingly, much like 2+2=5, it’s one that builds slowly into a chaotic finish, the raving of that track reflected in the almost cold mania of the raindrops the raindrops the raindrops the raindrops the raindrops……. It’s a decent enough song, but I legitimately cannot imagine listening to it ever outside the context of this album. Which is weird, because I definitely remember doing so when I was younger.

Track 3 is Sail To The Moon, a lullaby or ballad or sorts, a calm after the storm that is the previous track. Quite literally, considering it’s repeated lyric. And also literally, in that it was actually written for Thom’s son at the time. The subtitle, (Brush the Cobwebs Out of the Sky) evokes a very literal interpretation of the song’s title, which doesn’t actually reflect the lyrics.

Sail To The Moon is, as any good lullaby should be, utterly soothing. It’s calm, with Thom’s vocals just drifting across the piano, loose guitar, and percussion like a low tide. This is one of those songs I’ve come around to much more with time, because I distinctly remember skipping this a lot. You’ll find I’ve listened to this album a fair few times, though the section between 2+2=5 and Go To Sleep is one I skipped a fair bit, I think.

Backdrifts is a heavily electronic song that apparently in part predates Kid A and Amnesiac, which is kind of interesting- we’ll see a bit more of that later. As a track, it’s kind of spacy- the synth instrumental feels like something out of an eerie sci-fi film, if you notched the tempo up a bit.

Backdrifts is also the first song where I can see the “too long” argument come in. Not for the album (though I believe it’s one of the ones the alternate tracklist leaves out), but the song itself- I’m not sure this is a song that needs to be the second longest on the album (and only by a second). It’s fine, but considering what it comes off and what follows it, it’s in a bit of an awkward spot.

Go To Sleep is another one that kinda took me a while to get. I always heard it as being one of the top tracks on the thing, but it never really clicked with me for a while. I suppose I’ve never been massive on purely acoustic-guitar-led affairs? With age, though, I’ve better appreciated the depth the song has. Possibly the folkiest song the band has, it might have taken me getting into R.E.M. to recognize what the song is.

And the song is good!

But unfortunately for Go To Sleep, Where I End and You Begin is my favourite Radiohead track.

Holy shit, this song sounds so fucking sick. That percussion, that bassline, those fucking Ondes Martenot babyyyy. The song is spacey and ethereal, but tied down by the more traditional elements of the instrumentation. The fantastical lyricism tying into very real themes of personal boundaries, how they define how people interact, and how when they fail, things tend to go badly- “There’ll be no more lies, I will eat you alive”. It’s just an absolute fucking track.

I don’t think I can possibly explain why I like this song so much. Opinions and favourites are kind of like that. But it just speaks to me. The hyper-fuzzed out guitar soloing in the bridge, the loneliness of the second verse, it’s just incredible.

Also it possibly references Optimistic with the lyrics which is cool! I also like that song a lot.

The subtitle, (The Sky Is Falling In), is something I’ve not been able to find a reference for regarding it’s meaning, but since I like the song so much, I’m going to do some interpreting. If we assume the song is about boundaries in a relationship, it’s clear that the final lyrics are the utter devastation after those boundaries are breached. But “The Sky Is Falling In” fits better with the third verse, what with the house falling into the sea- the tipping point has broken, the household (or, the house) is in freefall, the sky is falling with it. But that’s just my opinion, man.

Still with me? We’re not even halfway.

We Suck Young Blood can best be described as off-kilter, perhaps even deliberately out of tempo. A very pointed use of handclaps, typically a part of substantially more energetic tracks than the dirge this song presents. I’m sure this isn’t what the song is about, but at face value the lyrics read like some sort of social service run by vampires- give us your young blood, and we’ll make things better for you. In a way, it’s kind of fun, silly even. I suppose the claps help with that. The track is otherwise just, melancholic- slow, piano-y, even the sudden pickup barely lasts- though I always forget it’s there, making it kind of a surprise every time. Like, oh shit, we’re going somewhere for a bit, I need to put my seatbelt back on- ah never mind it’s over (and then the song keeps going for a while).

We come now to The Gloaming, the song that was originally going to be the title track for the album. They changed it, apparently, because it got rejected- too gloomy, apparently. According to Wikipedia, a fair few of the subtitles from the album’s tracks also came from proposed names for the album proper.

The song itself is also pretty gloomy, as it happens. Apparently, it’s literally about the rise of fascism, so fair enough. An electronic track, with many a repetition, feeling uneasy and cold the whole way through (making the subtitle, Softly Open our Mouths in the Cold, pretty apt). It feels almost minimalistic at times, without especially many lines running through it- and without a big crescendo like many to most of these songs have, it feels somewhat lifeless- a deliberate choice, no doubt.

Oh shit, are we up to There There? We are! God this song fucks. Those opening drums are iconic, not to mention the way it layers onto itself. And the video! Eerie horror at its finest.

Like, I know Where I End and You Begin is my favourite song on this album unquestionably. But there is no doubt in my mind that There There is the best song on the album.

Good enough that I don’t have anything really interesting to say about it? Like many songs on this album, it’s got a big old crescendo, but the build is just so smooth, and the climax is just such a swelling. “We are accidents waiting to happen” is such a powerful lyric, and it’s hardly the only one on the song. A comment I’ve seen about the song describes the guitar as akin to laughter, a mood I can definitely see in the track itself.

Anyway the song ended so I guess I gotta move on.

I Will is kind of an interesting case. It’s unquestionably one of the most emotional songs on the album, considering it was written about a U.S. bombing of a shelter that wiped out 408 innocent people, and that’s fucking horrifying (S.O.P. for the Army it seems). It’s short, and…well it’s not sweet, but it is tragic and haunting.

It’s also a song that went through variation on variation before finally appearing on this album. Early live performances date to 5 whole years before Hail to the Thief, and considering the bombing was in 1991, it was probably written well before then. Versions of this track are kind of everywhere as a result- one early version was eventually chopped up and reproduced into Like Spinning Plates on Amnesiac- reconstructions of the process are available on citizeninsane.eu- or they were, at least, because apparently that site’s embeds relied on Flash.

I do particularly want to highlight the Los Angeles version of the song, which was a b-side on 2+2=5 (and also was on the Com Lag EP), because it’s a fuller version of the track- not necessarily better, but the full band is involved, making it a much different experience.

Track 11, A Punchup At A Wedding, has become somewhat of a meme on the Radiohead subreddit. Mostly it’s a result of the opening lyric, literally “No” 42 times over. The subtitle, for reference, is also all “No”s. On a similarly lighter note, the track is apparently a result of the band stumbling upon just a needlessly scathing review of one of their live shows, making it one of the few Radiohead tracks I could confidently say is about one person in particular. With all the second person, the lyrics probably wouldn’t be out of place on an early Linkin Park track (whether that’s an insult or not, I’ll leave as an exercise to the reader).

The slow, almost marchlike rhythm of the song well suits the tone of the lyrics, and to be clear, the tone is pretty much “Man, what the fuck is wrong with you?” and the emotions that come with being torn down by someone who doesn’t know you or really recognise what they’re doing. I suppose it’s refreshing for the metaphor to be this obvious for once. It’s a pretty decent song, piano-driven like many a song on the album, which means theoretically if I ever relearn the instrument I could play it. Maybe.

Myxomatosis, while a pretty fucked up disease, is an absolutely excellent song. If 2+2=5 is the heaviest rock song on the album, Myxomatosis is the heaviest electronic song on it. The lyricism is incredibly dark, unsettling and violent, suiting the harsh buzzing synth line. They say fuck in this one! And the way the entire song save percussion drops for the key line (I don’t know why I feel so tongue-tied/skinned alive) is so excellent. Interestingly, said line also appears word-for-word in Cuttooth, a B-side from Amnesiac, though the mood is profoundly different.

I suspect the song being named Myxomatosis and being pretty clearly about public perception and fame should give you a hint as to how the band views the media and the world of the rich and famous- the subtitle, (Judge, Jury, & Executioner), certainly adds to that. Thom sounds a mix of hesitant, confused, disgusted, and frustrated on the track, and it works incredibly well.

We’re finally on to the penultimate track, Scatterbrain. And I’m going to be honest, I don’t know what this one’s about. I’m out of patience to figure out what Genius is going on about, though it’s fairly incomplete for this track anyway. It’s relatively simple, for a Radiohead track, and pretty enough, but I can see why people don’t tend to like this one as much. I distinctly remember it being bottom of the list or close to it on a subreddit poll at some point (might have been above We Suck Young Blood, which I don’t agree with).

Scatterbrain kind of just has the problem of being a pretty decent album track, right between two of my favourite songs on the album. Which is awkward as always.

Our final song is A Wolf at the Door, and talk about a closer. Thom has described it as like waking up from a nightmare and finding out reality is worse, which is both relatable and upsetting. The song is grim, with confusing imagery in the verses leading to a desperately emotional chorus about someone’s children being fucking ransomed. Also, a bridge with more Nos than A Punchup at a Wedding, where are your No (x105) memes Reddit, get it fucking together!

The lyrics of the verses in A Wolf at the Door have a swaying flow to them that’s almost rap-like, especially since the falsetto that Thom usually sings in around this time is completely absent from them. This makes it one of the few rap-ish songs I’ve actually tried to perform, and I’d probably be pretty okay if I didn’t keep forgetting bits.

The song is just, frustration (verse 1), desperation (chorus), anger/frustration (verse 2), and back to desperation (chorus) again, which doesn’t quite fit the stages of grief cleanly, but that’s probably fine. The final vocalisation of the song (and thereby the album) feels almost like a sorrowful howl, which makes less sense the more I think about the imagery and intent of the lyrics, so maybe just ignore that actually. There is just so much imagery packed into this track, especially in the second verse, that listing it out is pointless- but it all just clicks so well, into this deluge of frustration and madness carried along by that instrumental that just seems to get lower and lower forever.

Anyway that’s the whole album, isn’t it? I’m going to keep this outro brief, because we’re approaching 3000 words at this point, but I think that fact says it all. There’s a lot of Hail to the Thief, but it never really misses per se. It has less great songs, but no bad ones. I’d argue my own biases probably cloud my judgement, but even if some of the tracks are more forgettable, the highs are so high for me that it easily stands among the band’s best.

Unfortunately, not everyone agrees with me. But that’s fine, this is my opinion, the rest of the world is allowed to be wrong.

A lot of things would happen between Hail to the Thief’s release in 2003 and the followup, In Rainbows, in 2007. But that’s ultimately a story for another day. A week from today, to be precise.

See you then?

#ramble #music #radiohead #hail to the thief

[samtheflamingomain]

old man yells at tv show

I'm a Simpsons superfan. I don't care what anyone says, I'll argue to my grave that it was still a great show until season 25, and a watchable show until now.

So it is not without immeasurable grief that I finally say, a broken man, "it's time to cancel the Simpsons".

I don't mean "cancel" as in they've committed some heinous act, literally cancelled. End the show. Please.

Until today I would always say, "The worst episode of The Simpsons is better than no Simpsons", and with the season 33 premiere, I finally have to retract that statement. That's just how fucking awful this episode was.

Here's a quick synopsis: Lisa puts on a school musical as Stage Manager, but finds herself left out of the friendship the cast create. She exposes the Big City New Girl as being a fraud and a liar, but because she does it in a mean way, she has to apologize. The end.

Now, because this really shows how little the writers care about character consistency, replace "Lisa" with "Marge". Because despite this being a pretty convincing Lisa plot, this is for some reason a Marge episode. Also, because it's a musical episode starring Julie Kavner as Marge who can barely deliver her spoken lines. they "make" a "joke" saying Marge "sounds like a Disney princess in her head" so they can have Kirsten Bell do all her singing. It's eerie at best.

This episode, which might I mention has no B plot, is bizarre, jarring, and surprisingly unfunny in every capacity. It doesn't feel like a Simpsons episode, which is encapsulated perfectly in one of the "jokes" they did try to throw in next to all the cringey musical numbers.

Marge is realizing through song that the group of friends she thought she was close with in high school actually went and did a bunch of fun stuff without her and she feels left out. After the first verse, Marge says something like, "Okay, so I don't remember all of those exact memories, but I'm sure there's something! Keep going!" which probably came the closest to making me laugh. It wasn't super close, but my mouth muscled twitched slightly.

Anyway, the next verse starts with "The kegger at Marge's house!" and Marge goes "What? Where was I??" which, if it had stopped there, would've been a solid laugh from me. But they answer "oh you were doing stage manager stuff" and then list a bunch of things that supposedly happened on Marge's property without her ever knowing, including the suicide of a classmate.

Again, if it had stopped there, that might have been a bit funny, and definitely as edgy as The Simpsons would ever get. Right?

Well, this keeps going until we get this South Park joke Frankensteined onto a Simpsons corpse: "We didn't see the signs... then when the news crew came we made it all about ourselves!" In bold is the drawn-out solo part of the song.

Look, I'm a huge fan of South Park and other "not PC" comedy. It just doesn't belong in a song on The Simpsons. It's absolutely jarring with not only the tone of the show as a whole but even the tone of the episode.

So the "jokes" that are there suck, there's maybe 10 attempts made overall, and it feels like an episode written by a casual fan. Ask a casual fan you know, "name 5 Simpsons adults who you'd think were theatre kids in high school" and they'd probably guess most of them.

Not that their characters do anything. We have Kirk, Helen Lovejoy, Smithers, Dr. Hibbert and Barney. The only one to have lines relevant to their character at all is Barney, because he has a 2-line moment where he mentions being an alcoholic. That's literally it.

It's also very weird to see Bart and Lisa as bookends. They have 1 line each at the start and another one each at the end. I honestly don't think I've ever seen less done with a main, speaking character. They don't even make jokes, they just comment on the current situation.

On the surface, it seems like this episode was terrible because it was a musical. Usually, I hate musical episodes of shows; I think they tend to be worse for it. But I loved the musical episode where Lisa becomes class president because it was a musical - a parody, but still.

However, this is one of the only cases I can think of where I think it being a musical actually made this episode better than if it had been about a musical (like "A Streetcar Named Marge") without all the songs.

I read a book by a few of the early writers of The Simpsons, and one thing that made me realize why this episode is so bad is because, in the writers' own words, "musical numbers take up time, so they never get cut". When I read that at the time it made me reflect on how astounding that is, given that almost every original Simpsons song is a fuckin banger. Now it makes me realize that this episode would've somehow been even worse if it wasn't a musical, which I didn't think was possible because boy were the songs bad.

Maybe it's the plot, the characters, the lack of jokes, the bad songs, the expectations of a 33-year old show, but honestly I think it's everything. Everything that could've gone wrong did. I literally cannot think of a single thing this episode did right or even just well. For Homer to take the spot of Lenny in the cast they have to injure Lenny, so of course, it being Lenny, they get him in the eye. Just kidding, they break his leg. If it had been an eye injury, and I'm not even kidding, I wouldn't be typing right now. That would've been enough.

For a show that's been on life support in my mind for a long time, in a way, I'm almost glad this episode was the worst piece of shit I've ever seen, because I'd rather pull the plug now than keep it braindead in the ICU for another season, trying to find a single solitary moment in each episode that makes it worth my time.

I'm taking solace in the fact that now, when The Simpsons does eventually end, I won't be upset at all. Last season I would've still been upset and said "it's still good!" Now it has, in my mind, officially stopped being good.

Stay Greater, Flamingos

#simpsons #the simpsons #simpsons season 33 #simpsons 33 #simpsons premiere #simpsons review #tv review #sam

[calumthoodshands]

RULES: 8 song prompts, tag 8 people

I was tagged by molly @staticsounds and em @redrattlers thank you both!! 🧡

Favourite song at the moment

the angel of 8th ave. by Gang of Youths, I’d say. Car ride song. Feeling infinitely song. Yk? Such a comforting voice, such a nice vibe, just 10/10. I won’t mention starting line here simply because if you don’t listen to it already, that’s you own fault for missing out, pal.

A song you associate with your favourite ship

Take on the world by You Me At Six. Which is a fucking sad song, i now realise. It is not the only song I associate with cake tbf but i won’t name the other song for reasons here. Idk, it’s the ‘i’m there for you despite not knowing everything there is’ vibe ig, because you never truly know someone through and through and so on. I also associate it with several damn sad fics somehow. Sigh. Cake do be my life atm

A song that could be about you

Idk, i have to be honest here. I don’t know myself. I don’t know why am i the way i am and idk what’s happening around me and with people around me and also it’s just stupidly unlikely that there’d be a song about me so i’m just gonna... pass here.

A song you think is underrated

Homesick by Dua Lipa and i’m gonna squeeze in a second one: Lay it all on me by Rudimental feat. Ed Sheeran. Homesick is just beautiful. It’s so, so beautiful and just... yeah. It got to my heart. I even used it in my fic because i like it so much. Isn’t a lot of her older stuff underrated anyway? Can i add another one of her songs, because Be the one is also such a fucking banger and the first song i heard from her. Lol. I really do like both the songs a lot.

Lay it all on me is actually one of my favourite songs i think ever? I don’t think i can ever get sick of it. Rudimental make sick stuff in general but this is just next level idk idk the chorus with headphones and full volume? — chef’s kiss. Can listen to it on loop for hours i think.

A song that reminds you of a good memory

Y’all this is gonna be such trash to some of you i think but if anyone does listen to it — it does slap. It’s called Keine Liebe by RIN feat. Bausa. The bass, man. The chorus. The recycling of Du trägst keine Liebe in dir by Echt. The day this reminds me of my best friend’s birthday and i think we had maybe the best day and party ever. I felt like myself that day and i don’t think i’ve ever felt that good in my own skin and mind, so. (Mimi if you see this tell me your opinion here lol)

I’m gonna name one more: More than you know by Axwell /\ Ingrosso. Summer ‘18 in Italy. Best summer of my life, with some of the best people. Take me fucking back to the beach and Rome and Capri, island love of my life. This song slaps and i think it’s one of the songs i heard the most times during a limited period of time. It was insane. I’m impressed i haven’t gotten sick of it actually lmao.

The last song you listened to

Stockholm Syndrome by One Direction. It just slaps and has the ideal Zayn and Harry vibes i love about Four so much. 10/10. Also perfect showcasing of all of their voices here. And the harmonies, sign me the fuck up, ‘tied down’ — harry styles, come here now. Remember the video where he sings the echo of ‘done’ and is so proud of himself? Lol. Baby, look what you’ve done, done, done, indeed.

A song that makes you laugh

Yodel it! by Ilinca, Alex Florea. I’m sorry, the attempt of trying to make yodeling mainstream-appropriate is just so amusing me. Like, they’re serious about this. I’m sorry it’s fucking funny to me. You shouldn’t be surprised that it’s an ESC song either here lmao (mili pspspsps). The yodeling in the end has me so goddamn weak it’s so over the top like ma’am are you in a race here — i can’t talk about this I’m already laughing.

A song you want your mutuals to listen to

I’ve talked so much here already so, all plain: Witchcraft by Bohnes. 10/10.

I’m tagging,,,, @talkfastcal @bente-gifs @calumsash @highscal @faeryphilia @till-the-sunshine-fades idk if y’all did it already, and no pressure ofc!! 🧡 i can’t count to 8 sorry <3

#someone: talk about thr songs you like; me: deep inhale #this. went out of control a littlr #does it show that music makes up an incredibly big part if my kife i hope not #*of my life ffs #tag game #music rec #in a way ig #sry molly and em i’m sure you expected less #should not from me though #sigh #aria.talks

[wezzaner]

Evie’s and Doug’s relationship develops the best, Pt. 2

So, here I go:

So, picking up from where Pt.1 left off, Evie and Doug made up after the coronation and before the after party.

In Descendants 2, their relationship took the backseat to all the Mal/Ben drama, mostly Mal, Ben was a total idiotic care bear. And that’s okay, I am not complaining at all about Devie being somewhat benched. This is like Disney channel having its own trope of sidelining characters, story arcs and plot lines or just disregarding them completely.

Not the first time, won’t be the last. You get used to it, eventually. (Salty at High School Musical 13 years later, yes, that’s who I am)

You know, as they did with Evie’s intelligence, boxing her into the fashion corner only. Which I enjoyed, but there’s more to Evie than that and she could be both. And they butchered her further in Descendants 3, more on that later as well.

Also, unpopular opinion, Evie and Carlos are much better lead characters with better arcs and Jay fucking deserved better. Mal can go suck it.

Anyway, back to the topic:

Jumping six months later, Evie and Doug are running a business together from her dorm room. Her designing and him handling her finances, you know, like the power couple that they are. Right off the bat, couple goals already.

Which should show how much they both do trust each other.

That should be surprising, given who their parents are. Again, everyone seems to forget that out of all the AKs/VKs couples shown in the movies, only Doug’s and Evie’s actually come from the same story. They should be enemies. They should not be trusting each other so much to the point where they share a business, let alone be in love. That, I suspect, might have slowed their relationship progress a bit. And it’s a very legit reason to be wary of someone.

Scenes breakdown:

Now, their first scene together hits with a banger right away, them sharing an inside joke.

Six months into their (unlabeled?) relationship, Doug is shown to still be insecure about being with her. Actually, about HER being with him. Again, Evie is royal (whether Audrey likes it or not), she is ambitious, hardworking and will go places. And he’s, well...

Doug.

He’s telling her that through her hard work and dedication to her craft, she could be getting everything she had always wanted after all without needing a prince or marrying into it as she was bred and conditioned by her mother to do. That she can get there on her own and she doesn’t need to be a trophy wife. Also, offhandedly telling her that he will help her get there, that they could get there together.

And her tender, reassuring reply is that she doesn’t need a prince because she has him. Like, come on, that’s all the vindication anyone would ever need.

I mean, I would love for someone, anyone, to look at me the way Evie looks at him at that moment. Like, boy, you got nothing to worry about, not one thing. Just look at her face, please.

Honestly, in less than thirty seconds, their relationship progressed more than Mal’s and Ben’s relationship did in that entire movie. I mean they had a conflict and they solved it in half a minute while Mal spent the entire movie erasing everything good about her already-established character. Ben deserves better.

So, moving on.

The next development in their relationship arc comes in a scene with no Evie whatsoever. Doug encounters Jay and Carlos and asks if they had seen Evie. Let’s break this one down, yeah?

Doug is shown to be insecure about being the lesser of the two in his relationship with Evie and believes she deserves better. He is not the most confident individual, directly in contrast with Evie, who has this ridiculously confident aura around her.

And Jay and Carlos lying to him about Evie’s whereabouts couldn’t have helped. Especially because I believe at that point, Doug had become friends with Jay and Carlos to some degree. He wasn’t only questioning his relationship with Evie, but his friendship with Jay, Carlos and by association, possibly, Mal.

So, anyway, the crew got King Care Bear back and they arrive to Auradon prep the next morning. And Doug shows up, bowtie gone, disheveled and sleep-deprived to question whether Evie was seeing someone else or not.

He was in panic over this, and she replies earnestly that she wasn’t, in fact, seeing someone else and she was on the isle with the crew saving Ben. And kind of calls him stupid for ever thinking that.

And Doug doesn’t even care about the whole Ben thing. which I find awfully hilarious.

To sum up:

Slow progress aside, Doug believed in Evie’s business, creativity and ability to be financially stable enough to buy her own castle before it even crossed her own mind. Just because he knew it was something she always wanted. He supported her wholeheartedly, to the point where he was okay working with her, handling finances and deliveries. And probably investing as well. 

The movie did go over Doug’s very obvious insecurities when it comes to his relationship with her. Made it obvious that he was flawed, normal and human, more so than any of the other characters. He gets jealous because he sees himself as the less in the relationship and his reaction is justified, to be honest.

I mean, this is Evie we’re talking about. One doesn’t just LET Evie go, that’s stupid. You don’t lose people like her. No one deserves Evie, she’s too good for all of them. But it’s not about deserving.

I believe they were already in love at this point (such a healthy relationship, too), but reached a mutual mental (or off-screen, really) decision to buckle down, take things slow and see where things go. This is because of who they are and how they came to be, not because of anything else. Actual brain cells, here.

And not everyone is Mal and Ben. Nothing against them, but they are under pressure, with their relationship being public and all. There’s always a sense of urgency with those two.

And with these gifs I rest my case:

Off topic, but please!!

Has anyone noticed that, aside from being a movie musical, Did I Mention and Be Our Guest are the only canon-confirmed numbers? Be Our Guest was performed for family day as some form of (cringe) entertainment.

BUT Did I Mention is the only one that was deadass performed into a legit microphone? And then rearranged for the proposal. Am I the only one seeing Ben rushing out from the dressing room before the game to find Doug to ask him if he could have the band play it after the game? And then a year later gathering everyone else, letting them know he was proposing and then being all like; “Doug, I need you.”

 Doug is Ben’s wing man, and that is that.

#disney descendants #descendants #descendants 2 #descendants 3 #evie descendants #evie grimhilde #doug descendants #doug son of dopey #devie #character study #relationship analysis #sorta #evie daughter of evil queen #king ben #ben florian #mal #mal bertha #malvie are soul sisters #friendships are good too #Sofia Carson is still everything #jay #jay son of jafar #carlos de vil #power couple #wing man #in this essay i will #i talk a lot

[jonismitchell]

hey!! i haven’t talked to you in forever i hope you’re doing well. idk if you’ve answered this recently, sorry- top three on every album (totally put why if you want to, i love hearing people’s different opinions on this)

ahhh hey! i’m doing okay (as well as can be considered given the state of the world). i have not answered this question since folklore came out, so here’s a short opinion piece by yours truly. (under the cut because i never learned to shut up)

debut:  - our song: listening to taylor swift sing from the “man’s perspective” for the first time is something that can be so personal. i’m pretty sure that this is also the first taylor song i ever heard (in 2012) so i have some degree of emotional attachment to it.  - invisible: cause i just wanna show you! she don’t even know you! visceral flashbacks of playing this on loop while watching ever after high and harry potter videos in, like, fifth grade. truly describes my pining for every single person i’ve ever liked oops - should’ve said no: she’s so righteously angry and i love it. also the country accent is so strong here and i am absolutely obsessed with that.... legends only. anyway this is your reminder not to get back with your scumbag ex.

fearless: - love story: this is a classic! this is literally a classic. god the forbidden love, the happy ending, this implications of this being one of the biggest hits of her career.... it is The Ultimate Taylor Swift Song and we all just have to respect that. also a healthy dose of “the man’s perspective.” she SAW that film before and she changed the ending!! i cannot :) - come in with the rain: her vocals on this song are so dreamy and the song is really sweet. i think it manages to be lowkey and straddle how fucking dramatic being a teenager is with a lot of class that most of fearless doesn’t access. it’s a good song! - you belong with me: hey it’s the lonely hopeless romantic anthem! yes i know i’m citing the two biggest hits from fearless... they got popular because they’re super good okay! i would argue that the songwriting here is very classic taylor and it’s also super sweet :) 

speak now: - last kiss: ugh this really is an amazing breakup ballad. it’s full of amazing one-liners like “you can plan for a change in the weather and time but i never planned on you changing your mind.” i can’t believe how brilliant the whole song is and it’s even more impressive when you remember she wrote it alone. cannot wait to hear the updated vocals but the shaky breaths in the original are perfection <3 - enchanted: okay this is actually my favourite speak now song but i thought i’d shut up about being a lonely romantic for more than five seconds! anyway i have projected this onto so many people... it’s so relatable and yet it’s super general and YET it makes no sense when you think about it... that’s my style of taylor swift song  - the story of us: i love how blatantly unhinged taylor was while writing speak now it really speaks to me. i didn’t really like this one so much before but i went through a Thing and binge listened and now i am obsessed. love love love the lyrics and i think the production suits it well too 

red:  - holy ground: this is my ALL TIME FAVOURITE taylor swift song. i genuinely think these are the best lyrics she has written in her whole career.... “we blocked the noise with the sound of you and for the first time i had something to lose?” no one is doing it like her they simply aren’t. this song is absolutely perfect.... i don’t really have words to describe it i just need everyone to appreciate my taste for a minute - treacherous: gay little taylor swift. the whole idea of forbidden love crops up again here and i have to say i love it. i swear to god the vibes... the quiet confessional on the verses that explodes into this huge ranting bridge? that’s it that’s it that’s one of the best songs of all time man miss swift is an icon - state of grace: love is like a religion, perhaps. this contains such a wonderful extended metaphor and utilizes a bunch of different writing tactics so well. i sound like a broken record at this point but this is a good song! and yes i project it onto lucas (i’m fine to say that no one is reading this much)

1989:  - wildest dreams: oh just say you’ll remember me! it’s the songs about doomed love that always get me, something forbidden, something you have to keep private for fear of it being destroyed. side note, everyone who thinks a song as good as this is about harry styles can fight me. taylor pulled this out of my personal diary in sixth grade and it hasn’t stopped being relatable since - wonderland: oh you guys know i love a literary reference and wonderland is so good. haven’t you heard what becomes of curious minds is also really gay so the song works well for me. oh and a special shoutout to everyone who removed a tattoo because of this song, i hope you’re doing real well - style: very happy that i never think of anyone in particular when i listen to this banger and instead just enjoy it like a normal person <3 i remember not understanding the hype until binge listening to 1989 one day in eighth grade and being like “oh i get it now” so there’s that (shoutout to this love for nearly being on this list)

reputation: - dancing with our hands tied: this is another one of my all time favourites! the pining, the gay vibes, the love that dies in secrecy... it basically goes through my list of how to be a good song and ticks my requirements off one by one. i love how anxious the production is and her emotion while singing it on rep tour. karlie kloss fucking fight me challenge. - new year’s day: this quiet subtlety of this love ballad gets to me... it was my favourite when i originally listened to reputation and hasn’t fallen out of the top three since. i think it highlights taylor’s songwriting abilities and her ability to make me cry, both very important aspects of music - delicate: this is another hopeless romantic pining song! how many are we up to now? i really think delicate is the essential crush song that describes basically every feeling i’ve ever had. and unfortunately, up to this point, it has all been delicate :/ at least i have the solace of sharing problems with a talented millionaire

lover: - cruel summer: this really is THE fucking song for me... it encapsulated my ninth grade year, it makes my heart hurt, it’s line after line of pain to me personally. i have no idea what miss swift is banging on about here (and i prefer it that way) but it really just means a lot to me! another song that sounds like my diary entry and is also completely inaccessible, i don’t know how she does it. - the archer: i love the moment where taylor swift decided that she was going to give those of us with anxiety a theme song every single album, and i think the archer is a definite highlight of her whole career. the subtle dreampop influences and the confessional vibes make it exactly what i wanted from lover, and also it hurts me emotionally in ways i can’t fully articulate.  - lover: see, i do have a heart! listen, i’m only fifteen years old but i know i want this song to play at my wedding. it is so quietly romantic and perfectly sure of its own goals. it does not seek to accomplish any other goal than being a love song. i started thinking about the lyrics while writing this and now i have to go cry in a corner. (shoutout to cornelia street for nearly being on this list)

folklore: - mirrorball: right on holy ground’s heels for the dubious honour of being my favourite ever taylor swift song, mirrorball describes my Whole Life so unfortunately i’m considering suing miss swift herself. i just think that it speaks to me in ways that would require a whole essay to explain.... let’s just not - august: here’s your mandatory hopeless romantic pining song. did i mention i nearly cried to this on the day of release? i think that she Gets It. i don’t know taylor and i don’t entertain delusions of her knowing me but man she really just plucked the core of my whole love life and said “here’s a song about it, will you shut up now?” back when we were still changing for the better... i need a minute - betty: definitely influenced by the stellar performance at the acms! or maybe i just love listening to taylor openly singing about girls.... i just have a lot of feelings about the emotional resonance about the grand romantic gesture this song builds up to! the key change! the storytelling! kissing on the porch in front of all your stupid friends! this is what taylor swift is all about (shoutout to illicit affairs, my tears ricochet, and this is me trying for nearly being on this list)

#loudwithlaughter #asking with you #this is just 1500 words about how much i love random songs