#'the things i was afraid of / they were all confined beneath my bed / but the years have been long / and you have taught me well to hide | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

frankcastlescumslut · 11 months

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What If

Matt Murdock x Fem!Reader

Summary: Family Planning w Matt Murdock

warnings: mainly fluff, maybe some angst? not really, mentions of pregnancy,

A/N: short little blurb that absolutely nobody asked for this but oh well!! I want it!!

It was calm in the apartment for a Friday night. The smell of Josie’s was confined to the hamper of dirty clothes in the corner while hints of lavender scented body wash permeated the bedroom. It was calm. Peaceful.

It was a nice change; your nighttime routine including Matt, for once— there was something homey about it. Domesticated. He was there, just around the corner, pulling the sheets back and adjusting the pillows to your liking before you would both climb into bed and recount your days to one another as if you had been married for years.

You were afraid that if you verbalized the thought, told him you enjoyed not sharing him with Hell’s Kitchen for once, that the illusion of peace and routine would snap. That he would snap, and you would go back to the familiarity of falling asleep alone again, only to be awoken by a bruised and heavy body falling next to you.

Some things were better left unsaid, so you kept quiet, brushing your teeth in circular motions until you noticed the blood dribbling from your lips.

You almost didn’t hear him, his question drowning behind the gargling water in your throat.

“What if it’s not enough?”

Enough?

“What’s that?” you yell into the sink before wiping your mouth with the back of your hand. “Did you say something?”

The bedroom was dark, your side of the bed bare, the comforter pulled back as an invitation. He was concentrating on something, his brows noticeably furrowed even as your eyes adjusted to the darkness.

“What happens when it’s not enough?” He followed the question with a kiss to your temple as you positioned yourself into the side of his body.

“When what’s not enough, sweetheart?”

“Daredevil.” The stunned silence speaks for itself. “The firm. You. Us.”

Us.

You.

Me.

Your body stiffened at the thought of being lackluster to him. That your life together was somehow incomplete.

Dread quickly spread throughout your body, practically pulling you away from his body, untangling just enough so you could prop yourself against the headboard.

“Well,” you cleared the knot in your throat. “I would ask you what ‘enough’ means.” The chipped paint on your fingernails stole your attention. “What does ‘enough’ look like? Did I do something wrong?“ He was blurry when you finally looked at him.

“No!” God, what an idiot. “No, you didn’t do anything at all!” He was quick to hurry you into his chest, internally damning himself for being the cause of the lump in your throat.

“Then what’s wrong? You just said I wasn’t enough—“

“It was a poor choice of words, that’s my fault, I’m sorry.” His heart galloped in his chest, just beneath your ear. “You’re the best thing that has ever happened to me and I can’t wait to spend the rest of my life with you.”

“But?”

“Everything is good— great right now,” his grip against your frame grew tighter.

“But?”

“But it still… it still doesn’t feel like it’s enough.”

“Then what can I do to help? What do you need, Matt?”

The confusion began to transform into a mild frustration, and you were grasping at imaginary straws, trying anything to answer his impossible questions.

“I want more.”

The air became stagnant in your lungs as you held your breath.

“No, wait,” he stammered. “I want more of you! I want more of us.”

“I’m not following.”

“I want to start a family.”

The air left your lungs in an impressively long exhale, long enough for you to untwist from his grip and lean against the headboard, suddenly forgetting how to breathe.

“A family?” The mattress dipped beneath your palms and your neck groaned with the weight of your head. Your stomach churned, from both relief and anxiety.

He waited patiently, pushing himself next to you. His breathing was steady, an inconspicuous cue for you to follow his lead, and he gave you both physical and emotional space to process what he himself had been grappling with the past several days.

A baby.

“A family?” You repeated, desperate to read his face.

He was unable to conceal a soft smile, and you softened in return, inching your hand closer to his so that your fingertips barely touched.

“With me?”

“Only if you want to.”

His fingers interlaced with yours, the pad of his thumb rubbing melodic circles into your skin.

You would be lying if you said you hadn’t thought of starting a family with Matt before. He would be a wonderful father, that you were certain of, and there were times where you would catch yourself holding onto your stomach, fantasizing about how your appearance would change with a growing belly.

Many of your closest friends were having children or had already started their own families, so it wasn’t that out of the ordinary to think about your future with Matt, but you never allowed yourself to think that way or to go that far, given the implications of his second job and moral obligations.

“What about Daredevil?” Your voice was unwavering, much to your surprise.

“I have it under control,” he said with a lighthearted smile.

“Under control? What does that mean?”

“I got some help. It’s taken care of.”

“Taken care of?” His voice was so steady and matter-of-fact that your eyebrows raised automatically. “Did you just happen to pick someone off the street?”

“He’s from Queens, actually,” he laughed.

“Right,” you huffed in tandem, not fully understanding the connotations, but enjoying his ease nonetheless.

The room grew with a bloated silence, and for once, you allowed yourself to wonder. How does maternity leave work? Would he take paternity leave? Would you breastfeed or bottle feed? Are there any good schools in Hell’s Kitchen? Who would watch the baby while you go to work? Why aren’t there any cute boys clothes? Will a crib fit in the room? Would they look more like you or him? What if you dropped the baby? What if you’re not a good mom?

“Sweetheart,” he called, bringing your hand to his lips, as if leading you away from the cacophony of what ifs and hypotheticals.

“Hm?”

“You okay?”

“Yeah! Yeah. I’m just—

“Thinking.” He finished your sentence and you deflated automatically, resting your head against his shoulder.

You weren’t sure of how long you sat like that. Inhaling and exhaling. Inflating and deflating. Slowly sinking into the mattress, disappearing beneath silk sheets.

“You’ve really thought about this then?” You whispered, afraid to jinx something so precious so soon.

“More than you know.” He kissed your temple, emphasizing his sincerity.

“I have one requirement.”

“Go on,” he stretched an arm behind his head, enjoying the simplicity and ease of the conversation.

“Call me old fashioned, but I want to be married first.”

His laugh mimicked a bark, and for a second you were almost embarrassed by your reservations.

“Sweetheart,” he turned onto his side, somehow towering over you, before meeting your lips with his own. “I am Catholic, you know.”

#matt murdock x fem!reader #matt murdock fluff #matt murdock drabble #matt murdock fanfic #daredevil fluff #dad!matt murdock #matt murdock #do i think that matt murdock would willingly stop being daredevil? absolutely not #am i going to make him put daredevil down so he can have a normal and happy life? absolutely yeah #i think matt murdock would be such a great dad and it makes me weepy #he gotta drop that messiah complex though #and go to therapy

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shootybangbang · 10 months

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[Arthur Morgan/Reader vampire/vampire hunter AU]

[tagging @cowgirl---bebop!]

In his hand, the silver dagger. Slender as a maiden’s wristbone and yet it weighs in his palm now heavy as an iron club. Arthur turns the brass knob of the bedroom door and steps over the threshold, peers into that shrouded chamber with its windows constricted by black sheets of muslin and velvet.

Outside, beyond the tomblike shutter and rotting grandeur of this house, the orchard and garden are joyous with noonday sun, bright and lovely as a churchglass vision. But within this stifling dark that holds within it the sonorous silence of a catacomb, there burns but a single candle whose withered glow serves only to intensify the gloom. It has an unearthly flicker that pulses as though underwater, the same murky film of fluorescence that is equal parts shadow and light, and it stretches his silhouette monstrous across the curtain wrapped around the bed as he grasps it in his unworthy hand and drags it open with a rustle like stirring silk.

Within its confines, you slumber with the leaden-limbed stillness of the recently departed. Nightgown buttoned up to your throat, its mother-of-pearl buttons gleaming opaline in the momentary flare of candlelight. Scarcely any rise and fall of that breast, and he would be forgiven for believing he beheld a corpse.

Yet it had been just three days prior that he had attended you in the greenhouse that lay in the cold shadow of the manse, still masquerading at fieldhand as he watched you twine a fall of night-blooming jasmine through your fingers and breathe in their funereal scent. You crouched among trumpets of datura white as snow and strands of wisteria that hung like flowering willow. Things which, like yourself, unfurled only under the pale suspension of the moon, and with the intrusion of day hid themselves away, curling inward as all things that have spurned the condemnation of light must. Shunning that which men revere as sacred in its clarity, and which banishes the liminal to pockets of shadow and derelict crevices that crack deep into the very bowels of the earth, where no holy trace can penetrate. As such is the sanctuary of creatures who dwell in the twilit transition between certainties, and who live with the cold ichor of death bluing their veins.

I suppose there’s no way I can persuade you to extend your contract, you’d said.

Afraid not.

Probably a rather futile question on my part, considering the way you drifter types operate. Eyeteeth sharp as knives in the reveal of your smile, but the soft, wistful turn of your lips had nearly made him recant. Still, I figured I may as well try.

You cupped the head of a gardenia in your hand, and caught in lunar shine its petals seemed wrought of milk glass, or bone. It’s too bad, you continued, drawing a pair of shears from the pocket of your dress. Your eyes fixed upon your task as his fixed upon the curve of your neck, noting the faded pucker of its perforated scar. The twin blades snipped, the gardenia’s slender stem cleft twain. I’ve enjoyed your company, Mr Morgan. So do me a favor, will you?

He nodded, against his better judgment.

If ever you find yourself back in this corner of Lemoyne… your palm briefly cradled the decapitated rosette before you proffered it to him, and the exchange had something in it the flavor of transgressed folklore. A mouthful eaten at the fair folk’s table, a pomegranate seed accepted from the king of the depths, a flower gifted from a woman who imbibed men’s blood as wine. Come see me again.

In a way, he reasons, tightening his fingers round the dagger’s hilt, this is but the fulfillment of his promise.

(Does the heart beneath that gown yet beat? If he were to unbutton it and press his hand to your unmarred breast, would it warm to his touch, as marble to flesh? And if he had instead stayed, if he had cast off his vows, if he had turned from duty—)

You sigh, and he stiffens. Nearly drops the knife when you flash him a baleful, exasperated glance with one eye open and say, “You know you’ve been standing there now for about five minutes now.”

“Jesus fucking christ, how long’ve you—”

“Been awake? Only since you climbed in downstairs through the parlor window.”

He can only stare, dumb as an ox. From the yard outside, a thrush trills a few cheerful notes that seem to emanate from a layer of reality both worlds away and perilously close.

“Having second thoughts?” Both your eyes are open now, pinning him in place with irises the same dire, arterial hue as sunset. “Or maybe you think I’ll kill you for trying? Or maybe…”

You lift your hand, and as his arm jerks crosswise to defend himself the blade glints like a star swiped sidelong through the dark. But it is useless; he has miscalculated your route of offense entirely. For you raise your fingers not to his throat but to the lace collar of your dress, pinching its topmost button through its eyelet. Then the next, and the next, and the next, until the garment separates like the shores of a linen wound, and the slow window of skin that you reveal is as disconcertingly intimate as a view into the red mechanism of your entrails. You may as well have reached through muscle and bone to show him the blooded core of your very heart.

“Maybe,” you say. “You’re in need of some assistance.”

#arthur morgan/reader #arthur morgan/oc #arthur morgan #fic #my work #vampire au #not sure if i'll continue this but i wanted to just get the idea out there #might put up some more fairytale-esque stuff if i can get any of it into serviceable shape

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prettyupsetnerd · 7 months

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relistening to this song and thinking about henry oak's daddy issues specifically....

When I was a child, I didn't hear a single word you said

The things I was afraid of, they were all confined beneath my bed

But the years have been long, and you have taught me well to hide away

The things that I believed in, you've taught me to call them all escapes

I have always known you

You have always been there in my mind

But now I understand you

And I will not be part of your designs

I know who I am now

And all that you've made of me

I know who you are now

And I name you my enemy

I know who I am now

I know who I want to be

I want to be more than

This devil inside of me

#dndads #henry oak #barry oak #Spotify

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titlemewickedwonderland · 11 months

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Fear Me Not - Aether

Summary: Everybody is afraid of something! But sometimes it helps when we have someone to help us through it! Abby found that out the hard way when she gets blindsided by one of her worst fears! Good thing she has her favorite ghoul there to calm her down!

Phobia: Claustrophobia, fear of confined spaces.

Pairings: Aether x Abby (Medic!Oc)

Check Out My Work!

She felt warm. Pressed into the softness of the mattress beneath her while the weight on her chest pinned her. Her eyes didn't want to open; far too comfortable where she lay. The scent of something fruity - citrus, fresh linen, and something entirely male engulfed her like a comforting blanket lulling her back to sleep but she knew she had to get up. What day was it again? Hell, what time was it? The light from the window was glaringly bright as she peeled one eye open and then the other; squinting around while trying to bring the room into focus.

The familiar posters and pictures on the wall registered first amongst the vast sea of dark - the nearly black, purple color of the walls. A splash of bright color at the edge of her vision made her tip her head sideways; hindered only by the head that was tucked into her neck but she could see the large banana plushie that was tucked between her and another body.

Abby smiled as she lazily lifted an arm to stroke her fingers along the muscles of Aether's back. Warm and comforting as his weight was on her she knew she had work to do today; she had no one to cover her shift for today as medics were far and few in between that were actually competent to do their work so she really had no other choice but to go in today. But Aether just got back from his tour last night and he needed his sleep; how was she supposed to squeeze from under the bulky frame without waking him? Unlike Swiss and Dewdrop; Aether wasn't a heavy sleeper and he really needed the rest. He'd looked so pooped last night when he came home.

As if he could sense her inner dialogue the quintessence tightened the arm that was draped around her waist. "You're doing it again." he grumbled sleepily.

"Hmm?" Abby murmured in return with a fond smile.

"Thinking too loud."

"If you must know I was thinking of how to sneak out of this bed without waking you. But it seems that is pointless now." she sighed dramatically

"You have to work?" Aether peeked an eye open and lifted his head to glare sleepily down at her as if the very idea was not on his bucket list for today.

Abby gave him a sweet smile filled with apologies. "You know I do Aeth." she murmured reaching out to rub one of her lover's horn causing his lids to slide close and a purr to rumble in his chest.

"Can't you take the day off?" he pouted childishly

"I wish I could but I'm afraid of I do something may go wrong." she snorted petting his hair.

Aether was quiet for the moment seemingly in thought and Abby had considered he had fallen back asleep with his slow breathing and eyes still closed but he finally let out a groan and buried his face into her neck.

"Fine, but I'm stealing you away for lunch, and after your shift is over for today I'm kidnapping you for some fun." he concluded causing the medic to chuckle at his determination.

"I think that's a deal." she smiled pressing a kiss to his forehead.

"I missed you..." he added on a sigh as he nuzzled her jaw and she couldn't help but smile wider at his affection.

"I miss you too babe." she murmured wrapping her arms around his shoulders and hugging him close.

she really did miss him. Despite his childish ways and sometimes clingyness when at the Abbey the woman couldn't deny she'd missed her shadow and the loving cuddles she got from him while he was away for his tour. She'd have to ask him all about what had happened when they were able to properly sit down and talk after her shift tonight. But right now, she needed to get back to her room for a shower and a change of clothes before reporting to her office to see what she'd missed out on while she was too busy planning the surprise party for the boys the night before. No matter if she was in the office or not there always ended up some kind of reports or files left on her desk to look over.

"Alright mister, while I'm working you take the day to rest. Get you something to eat, maybe a shower, and just take it easy today until you have to come get me okay?" she said as she began to squirm from beneath her lover's hold.

Aether sighed rolling onto his side as he watched the woman get out of bed; making the mattress feel suddenly too big for himself. "Is that doctor's orders?" he teased.

Abby shot him a playful glare. "Yes, doctor's orders." she pointed a finger at him before she bent to place a sweet kiss to his lips. "Love you rockstar. I'll see you soon."

she headed for the door hearing a sigh coming from the ghoul she'd left behind. "Not soon enough, woman."

Abby smiled as she closed the door behind her and paused in the hallway. It was still relatively dark outside meaning it was early; she could hear the snores and chittering sounds of the other ghouls in their rooms on either end of the hall along with soft voices - a few of them must be up already, basking in the presence of their significant others after being left for so long. It was a nice sound, an even better reminder that life was good; that it'd be alright as she grabbed her jacket from the end of the sofa and headed outside.

The air was a bit chilly this morning despite the warm weather they were having recently during the day and Abby was nothing if not observant and prepared as she headed away from the Ghouls wing to go back to the room she shared with her sister so that she could shower.

When she got to her office as predicted there was a stack of files on her desk she needed to look over. Most of them were just reports of mild injuries - Sister Imperator wanted to make sure all injuries were kept on file for every member in case of future mishaps or worse - lawsuits.

But when the light began to filter through her windows into her office she glanced at the clock to find it was well past the time the other Clergy siblings were out and about doing their chores. She was just about to go grab herself a coffee when a brother of sin came in holding a wrapped cloth over his hand causing her to sigh as she leaned back into her chair.

"What happened this time Jonothan?" she asked with bemusement as she saw the familiar face. This particular sibling had a habit of getting injured a lot.

He was smaller than most men around here and didn't have a lot of muscle on him but that never stopped him from working hard as the technician for the band. He and a few others were in charge of taking care of and tuning the instruments of the band. He always ended up trying to lift something he wasn't supposed to because of his smaller size but that never stopped him from at least trying - Abby imagined he was being forced to do the work of other technicians by being bullied into it but Jonothan was a sweet young man and couldn't say no.

"H-Hi Miss Abby." the boy looked sheepish as he walked in. "I um...I had a bit of an accident with one of the light fixtures when I was moving it. I tripped and fell and the glass cut my hand." he mumbled as he sat down on the small examining bed in the off corner of her office where she did examinations for injuries.

Abby sighed and rose to her feet. Going to wash up her hands and put on gloves in the sink in the ensuite bathroom as she spoke from the other room.

"Johnny honey you know it's not your job to be messing with them. Why didn't David do it?" she called.

There was silence for a moment and Abby thought he wasn't going to answer but at last, he did was a voice kind of small that she barely heard over the running water. "David went out for a smoke break 20 minutes ago and hadn't come back yet."

Ah, so that was it. Abby sighed shaking her head to herself and reminded herself to talk to Sister Imperator about this when she saw her next. Bully was against the rule of the Clergy and pushing your work onto others was another offense that wasn't taken lightly. If you were part of the Clergy you did your part - David didn't seem to get that memo.

"Alright." she finally replied and went back to check on the boy. His hand had one large gas in it that would need stitching from where the light had smashed into it and glass embedded in his palm; he'd need stitches but at least he didn't break a finger or anything so that was good.

After she'd patched the boy up and gotten him some painkillers she sent him on his way with instructions not to use that hand and to see Sister Imperator for a new task that he was able to do with his injury. This left her time to clean up and put things away. She realized as she was doing this that she was running low on supplies in her cabinet so she grabbed her keys sitting on her desk and unlocked her supply closet where she kept extra boxes of things.

She always kept this door locked because she didn't want anyone stealing any drugs, knives, or other supplies she kept in here for obvious reasons.

She also hated that closet. She hated going in there because it was small and she hated small spaces. The one thing she was afraid of wasn't blood, guts, and gore. Things that normal people would be squeamish about. It was the small dark space within her office that she was afraid of. Claustrophobia it was called. The fear of small spaces.

When she was a little girl she'd been locked inside of a supply closet in school by some bullies pulling a mean prank and she had been stuck in that closet for at least an hour which felt like an eternity before the janitor found her curled up hyperventilating on the floor.

She never really told anybody about it because she feared that they'd laugh at her or worse - repeat her childhood nightmare of being locked away. So she'd kept it to herself and just avoided spaces she knew could trigger her. But here, at work. She had to do this. She had no choice. And so she unlocked the door - it was the kind that had that spring in it that would close the door behind you for safety reasons so when she opened it she had to prop it open with her hip.

Staring into the closet as the light from her office flooded it with light made the space a little less scary but then she realized that the supplies she needed were on a back shelf - just out of reach. So she grabbed the nearest box and placed it on the floor to keep the door from closing before entering fully to grab the supplies she needed.

Except before she knew it her vision went dark and then completely black - followed by the familiar click of the door shutting. Her heart went up her throat and stuck there when she realized far too sluggishly what had happened.

The box she'd placed on the ground to prop the door wasn't heavy enough and the door had continued to close. The weight of the door shoved the box out of the way during the process so it didn't stick between the door jam and thus locking her inside. The worse part of it all...her keys were hanging in the look...on the other side of the locked door with no way out for her until someone came by.

She felt it then; that creeping ice gripping her insides as she felt the void of darkness closing in on her. The scent of sterile objects was all around her making her head spin and her hands shake as she realized there was no way out - she was stuck inside this small closet.

"No...." she swallowed thickly. "No!" she slammed against the closet door with her fists. Banging like a desperate woman trying so hard to keep the panic at bay. Hoping - praying that someone would come in or hear her banging inside to come to rescue her.

But today was a slow day - besides Jonothan she already had one or two others coming in that morning. She highly doubted she'd get out anytime soon and that realization struck her with a full-blown panic.

Her breaths came quick and heavy - feeling as if the air around her was thinning with every breath she took in. Was it getting hot in here or was it just here? Could you suffocate in a closet? There was a sliver of light coming from beneath the door but not enough for her to see much but how much that small space could bring in air in comparison to how much she was panting inside?

Tears brimmed her eyes and she collapsed against one of the shelves with her knees drawn in holding on for dear life. She had to hold out until someone came in - Aether would come. He promised he'd see her later today. But what time was it anyway? Time meant little when stuck in a small space like this to someone who was afraid of being trapped inside.

Time felt void and sluggish - what could have been an hour felt like days or it honestly could have been just minutes that felt like hours even when she heard voices in her office. Was she hallucinating? No, she wasn't the voices were getting louder as the people came further into her office and then...by a stroke of luck she saw the shadows beneath the door seconds before the door swung open.

Two figures blacked out by the light behind them stood there looking in and what a sight she probably made. Hair damp from sweat, face red, and cheeks wet with her tears as she curled up in the corner.

"Miss Abby?" That was Jonothan's voice!

"Shit, Abby?" Aether....Aether!

Abby unfolded herself quickly; scrambling towards him as the ghoul rushed in and knelt in front of her. He wrapped his arms around her as she collapsed into his embrace with new tears of relief now as she clung to him - taking in his familiar scent and chasing away the sterile one that fogged up her mind.

"Oh baby are you okay? Shit, what happened?" Aether's hands brushed her hair from her face and hugged her closer as she let out a broken sob filled with relief and fear.

The ghoul could feel her shaking against him like she'd been stuck in a freezer instead of a closet making him sweep her up into his embrace and rush her from the space; sitting down on the bed Jonothon had previously been on...what was it hours ago? Cradling her to his chest as he rocked her; trying to soothe her - pumping some of his quintessence into her to slow her rapidly beating heart before she went into a fit of some sort.

"Jonathon go grab a wet cloth." the male instructed the sibling who was quick to grab some paper towels and wet them in the sink in the bathroom before returning.

He watched in concern as the quintessence ghoul dabbed the wet paper to the medic's forehead and face trying to cool her off and calm her down- slowly bringing her back to reality. Her crying dulled into sniffles and a few hiccups as she slumped against her lover he chittered to her softly in the reassurance that he was there.

"Sweetheart, what happened?" Aether asked softly when she was calm enough; his own heart slowed down from the worry that gripped it when she opened her wet eyes to look at him.

"I...I got locked in...My keys were still in the door." she finally said taking a deep breath as she wiped at her eyes as if she was trying to get the grit out with the heel of her palms; a futile attempt to put back on that strong facade.

"What...How'd you know?" she added looking up at the pair in confusion as much as gratefulness at her stroke of luck.

"I uh...I popped a stitch and was on my way back here when I met Aether on his way to come see you...We saw the box and the keys hanging in the lock." Jonathon explained as he held up his bandaged hand - there was blood seeping through the cloth.

Abby laughed a bit and shook her head before resting it against Aether's shoulder. "I think I've never been more happy for someone to get injured," she muttered with a weak smile.

"Abby if I knew you were afraid of that dark-" Aether began but the medic shook her head straightening up.

"It's not the dark....I'm..." Her cheeks heated up with embarrassment as she ducked her head. "I'm claustrophobic," she mumbled.

"That's nothing to be ashamed of! I'm afraid of heights!" Jonothon piped up evidently trying to make her feel better; he was rewarded with a small smile.

Aether lifted her chin back to look at him as he tilted his head to examine her features a moment. "We'll talk to Sister Imperator about getting that door mechanism fixed okay, so this doesn't happen again. I don't want you to be afraid of your own work space."

She gently took his hand and gave him a smile; bumping her head against his affectionately. "No, it was designed for a reason...but...maybe get a copy of the keys so that I can carry one with me at all times in case I feel the other ones out there." she offered sheepishly.

"And a lock on the inside of the door too!" Aether amended.

"Yeh.. that'd be nice." Abby smiled back now having calmed down enough.

"It's settled then." Aether knocked his mask against her gently before patting her thigh. "Come on, how about you take the rest of the day off and spend it with me; you need a minute to breathe anyway."

"Sure, I won't argue with that." Abby laughed as she slid from his lap. "But first, Jonothon let's get that hand looked at again." she sighed as she went to wash up again.

The pair of men watched her a moment before Jonothon shyly spoke up to Aether. "You got yourself a strong woman."

"Yeah, I do." Aether chuckled warmly while clapping the boy on the shoulder. "She never ceases to amaze me."

Abby returned and squinted her gaze between the two. "What are you talking about?"

Aether shrugged flashing her a toothy smile. "Just how lucky I am."

Abby snorted and shook her head in amusement before turning her attention to Jonathon. It did not take long for her to fix him back up and send him on his way. Aether helped Abby clean up with the promise that Jonothon will send work for someone to take her spot for the rest of the day.

He brought her back to the Ghouls wing and back to his bed where he flopped down; dragging her along with him. Abby got herself comfortable against his side and looked up at him.

"Hey, Aether?"

"Hmm?" he looked down at her; his violet eyes gleaming in the dimness of the room now that his mask was off again.

"I think you had it wrong earlier," she commented idly stroking his cheek.

"Oh?"

"I'm the lucky one." she smiled warmly up at him before dragging him down a few inches to press a sweet kiss to his lips. "You never stop taking care of me," she added when they parted.

Aether smiled at her and hugged her close. "I think you got it wrong love, you never stop taking care of me and the others. We wouldn't know what to do without you around."

"Good thing I have no plans of going anywhere anytime soon." Abby chuckled closing her eyes and sinking herself into his comfort and warmth.

"Good, I'd drag you back if you did."

Feel free to ask to join the tag list! Thank you for supporting my work!

Taglist: @strawberry-moonpies, @darklylucid

#Aether x oc #aether ghoul x oc #nameless ghoul #quintessence ghoul #ghost aether #aether ghoul #ghost #ghost band #ghost nameless ghoul #ghost band fandom #Fear Me Not series #Wonderland writes

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lesbianboyfriend · 1 year

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hey guys when i was a child i didn’t hear a single word you said the things i was afraid of they were all confined beneath my bed but the years have been long you have taught me well to hide away the things that i believed in you taught me to call them all escapes i know who you are now i know who you are i know who you are now there before the threshold i saw a brighter world beyond myself and in my hour of weakness you were there to see my courage fade for the years have been long and you have taught me well to sit and wait planning without acting steadily becoming what i hate i know who you are now i know who you are i know who you are now i have always known you you have always been there in my mind but now i understand you and i will not be part of your designs I KNOW WHO I AM NOW AND ALL THAT YOU MADE OF ME I KNOW WHO YOU ARE NOW AND I NAME YOU MY ENEMY I KNOW WHO I AM NOW I KNOW WHO I WANNA BE I WANT TO BE MORE THAN THIS DEVIL INSIDE OF ME

#the oh hellos #jules.txt

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escritorvermelho · 5 months

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When I was a child, I didn't hear a single word you said The things I was afraid of, they were all confined beneath my bed But the years have been long, and you have taught me well to hide away The things that I believed in, you've taught me to call them all escapes

I know who you are now I know who you are I know who you are now

There before the threshold, I saw a brighter world beyond myself And in my hour of weakness, you were there to see my courage fail For the years have been long, and you have taught me well to sit and wait Planning without acting, steadily becoming what I hate

I know who you are now I know who you are I know who you are now

I have always known you You have always been there in my mind But now I understand you And I will not be part of your designs

I know who I am now And all that you've made of me I know who you are now And I name you my enemy

I know who I am now I know who I want to be I want to be more than This devil inside of me

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jrcarchived · 2 years

Note

🪄

“The things I was afraid of/They were all confined beneath my bed”

Dear Wormwood by the Oh Hellos

#asks

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bittermuire · 3 years

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a nightlight and a bottle of wine

recently I’ve really loved nezriel and wanted to write a lil thing for them. this will be two parts, this is the first. modern au

---

It’s not like Nesta really knew what she was doing when she moved out. All she knows is that there is a rift between her and Feyre; a scar splitting their shared skin, a wound opening and reopening, never to heal.

And so she’s away. They’ve made their mistakes and let them be. They’ve hurt each other and even tried to love, but sisters love each other too much for love—and so she’s away. The guilt is still there, but farther from her, now. Nesta stirs it into her morning coffee and drinks the sleep, wiping it from beneath her eyes and the lines around her mouth.

Every so often Cassian will text her, inviting her out to dinner or to a work party, and Nesta resists the urge to throttle him. He’s a very smart, thirty-five year old man. He should know what cutting off someone means.

(He knows, of course he knows. She guesses he just thinks it doesn’t apply to him.)

His roguish charm, his smirk, his low voice, all inviting her to one thing—sex—was beginning to exhaust her. It’s a surprising relief to be away from him. She feels like she can wear tank tops and let her hair down and go out without a bra, relieved he won’t be there to stare.

(Was she really so afraid of him?)

So Nesta lives her life and drinks her coffee, wears her tank tops and sleeps in her underwear, finally a woman in the way she’s always wanted to be; she feels discrete from the rest of the world but in a near comforting way. She has no one to disappoint, no one to miss. Her world is confined to very few people and her mind allows for one.

•

But there are things that trip her up. Remaining ties.

One such: the nightlight clipped to her bed. It’s cheap, a gaudy silver. She’s sure Azriel bought it for no more than two dollars.

But she uses it every night.

(This trips her up.)

It’s a routine she’s given to herself, written into the margins of her life; she climbs into bed, smooths the blankets over her legs, grabs her book, opens it on her lap, then twists and switches on the light. It illuminates the page with a pretty, golden sun. She uses it religiously. She thinks that if she lost it, some intrinsic part of her might be lost as well, and this frightens her.

Remaining ties should be snipped. These last threads should be spooled up, put away, hidden in the bottom drawer.

She switches it on anyway, watches the light trace the letters.

(Sometimes she thinks she is the black stamp of letters. The utter bleakness of them on the smooth page. Sometimes she thinks she is what ruins the paper. She is what ruined the paper. There’s a reason she is here and they are there.)

•

November 19th.

Happy birthday to me.

She buys a cake from the supermarket and blows out the candle.

There’s a knock at the door, late at night. Not thinking to check, she goes to open it, and there stands Azriel, still in the doorway, bottle of wine in hand.

“Happy birthday,” he says bluntly.

She lets him in for some reason she still doesn’t understand, and they end up drinking a glass together. It’s from Cassian, the wine—his favorite. Azriel tells her that Cassian didn’t think she’d take it from him.

“So he asked you,” she says.

He smiles. “Because you like me.”

1:00 AM, and they’re still drinking. They barely talk. They just sit; they sit on the kitchen stools, then the rickety chairs, then the floor, then the couch, then back to the floor. His cheeks are pink, his words slurred.

“Why’d you come?” she asks, peering down at where he lays, splayed out, on the carpet.

(He’s not the kind for favors, she knows that.)

Opening his eyes, he fixes his gaze on her. He smiles sleepily.

“Happy birthday, Nesta.”

•

She doesn’t really celebrate for the holidays. Her apartment is bare, save a pair of twinkling bells on the kitchen counter, tied with a red ribbon. Sometimes when she’s cooking she’ll give them a little ring.

The letter comes in the mail—from Feyre, clearly put there by her own hand. It’s an invitation to dinner, for the winter solstice. They’re celebrating early this year because they’re going out of town for a few weeks.

(Please don’t feel pressured to come. We were going to leave you be but Az, since he’s so considerate, thought you might appreciate an invite.)

Nesta picks up her phone and texts Feyre a simple no thanks.

•

The next morning, she opens her door to a bottle of wine. Its neck is tied with a cherry red ribbon, and there’s a note—“If you’re ever lonely, give me a call. It’s my favorite.”

She doesn’t need to see who it’s from to know.

She smiles and picks it up, taking it inside.

•

It bites, the loneliness.

She wasn’t prepared for the quiet.

She traded in insults and jabs and sweaty hands at dinner tables for nothing, nothing, nothing. Silence in the shower, silence over breakfast. Over time, it’s begun to grate on her skin, sift between the strands of her hair, and she feels like she’s swimming a meter below the surface, ears clogged, vision blurred.

And slowly, she’s started to cry; she cries when the silence is too loud, when her aloneness is real, when she realizes the ugly truth of it all. She’s alone, she has nobody, she’s alone.

She picks up her phone and dials his number. “Let’s drink your wine.”

A small quiet. “I thought you’d never ask.”

“That wasn’t a question.”

“I know, Nesta,” he laughs. “I’ll be there.”

•

They don’t drink at all, actually. She starts crying again the minute she sees his face.

“Nesta?”

•

“I’m fine, really.”

They’re walking down the aisle of the grocery store, weeks later.

“I don’t believe you.”

“I’m doing better, I am.”

He shrugs. “I don’t care. Pick a flavor. We’ll eat it, we’ll watch a movie.” He looks her up and down, brow creased. “You need two things—no, make that three things.”

She huffs a laugh, sticking her hand into the freezer and pulling out a carton. “What?”

“Sleep, ice cream, and company.” He grins. “And now you’ve got me.”

“Lucky me.”

“Lucky you.”

•

He’s seen her beautiful; he’s seen her ugly. He’s seen her in her rattiest apron with flour crusted into her fingernails. He’s seen her laugh so hard she cries, watched her slam her head into an open cupboard door, driven her to the hospital when she sliced her hand open with a knife. They’re together a lot, she realizes. They’re not halves; they’re one and one, and one and one make two, and they stand as two together on sidewalks, squinting at menus in the windows of restaurants, and they pet dogs in the park (Nesta always asks, because Az gets shy), and they take walks at midnight, and they live their lives contentedly next to each other’s. She starts to wonder if he splits his life into two—into Cassian and Rhys and Mor and Feyre, and into her, the girl who walked away. She’d like to know why he followed her.

Sometimes she’ll catch herself staring. Even before Cassian, she’d thought Azriel was the most beautiful of the three; all graceful, sloping shadows, soft and deep eyes, curling black hair. Her heart doesn’t know what to do anymore. It skips a beat when she sees him, but calms when she’s near him. It races when he leans close, falls to steadiness when he slings his arm over her shoulders. She can’t decide if she loves him like this or loves him like that. He means so much to her, means so many different things, that to give him a singular word wouldn’t fit.

She calls him Azriel, Az, Steve, Steven Shadow, Mr. Shadow, Ralph, Ron, He of the Candied Pecans, You. He responds to all of it. Recently he told her that it wasn’t because of the name, but because of the voice—(of course I don’t know who Ralph is, Nesta, but your voice, it’s your voice you use for me)—and she felt warm for reasons she couldn’t understand.

She shows up unannounced at his apartment when it’s a bad night. He does the same.

•

“Tell me the truth,” she begins, tipsy. “Did you like me before?”

“What?”

“Did you like me before?”

He frowns. “Elaborate.”

“Before you learned I’m a nice person. Back at the townhouse. When I hated everyone and was rude to you.”

“Oh.” He laughs a little. “I always liked you,” he says, and then his face settles into something like sadness. Nesta watches him closely. “I didn’t like… the way you made me feel, though. I’d see you down the hall, tired and everything, a stick of a person, and Rhys would make some joke, and I’d hate him.”

She blinks.

He looks down. “I’d never hated him before.”

There’s a tension between them. It’s common enough to be recognizable, but not enough to be familiar. She’s on edge, unsure.

The silence seeps in.

“And I hated myself, too,” he says. His eyes flick back up to hers.

Her breath catches in her chest. “I hated myself because I didn’t do anything. So I stayed away.”

“I’m sorry,” she whispers, overwhelmed. Everything is building; everything is quiet. His eyes are deep and dark and swirling. He shakes his head slightly, leaning closer, slowly, slowly, and she sees it all happen—he takes her face in his hands. She can see the stray strand of hair on his forehead, the one eyelash resting by his nose, the mole right above his mouth.

“I watched you fade,” he breathes. “I watched them pull you around.”

She twines one finger into his hair, trying to bring him closer, trying to have him closer. Come here, Azriel. Come with me. Be with me, love me, because I love you.

“I’m sorry,” she says again, because it’s all she can say.

“You have nothing to be sorry for,” he murmurs, and kisses her.

•

“Wait,” he says, reaching up.

“What?”

He touches the nightlight. “You kept this?”

She laughs, curled into his side, and says, “Of course I did.” He drops a kiss to her hair. “They all bought me books. You made it easy to read them.”

—-

@acosfisfeysandpropaganda I finally wrote it!!

#nezriel #nesta x azriel #nesta archeron #azriel shadowsinger

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midnightmoonkiss · 3 years

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I need more pirate deku. It should be illegal to be that hot-🎶

Right?

And the thing with Pirate Deku... is that he knows he’s hot.

WARNINGS!: Smut, Bare Grinding, Dom! Pirate! Deku - 18+ Minors DNI!!

Word Count: 1k+

When he first started out as a pirate, sailing on a ship at the ripe age of 13, he had no confidence whatsoever.

He was a scrawny kid who was more afraid of disobeying orders than he was scared of the British navy who wanted to conquer the sea.

He got sick all of the time, other kids called him pathetic and would constantly jeer at him.. until one day he snapped.

Under the leadership of a new captain, he got stronger, he wasnt as afraid anymore. His confidence only grew as years went by and ladies wanted him.

The cockiness that blossomed was just another sign of victory.

He was a hot, murderous piece of shit and he knew it.

He used it to his advantage.

Of course, he was still kind, sweet, and he had his bashful moments - but he would also sweep you off your feet and fuck you loudly in a cheap inns room until there was a hole in the wall...

He is very sexy in that sense.

And he is all yours... somehow.

Rum burned your tongue as his addicting mouth devoured your own, his palms, roughened from years of work at sea, smoothing up under your clothes, caressing your bare skin.

Lips met again and again in feverent harmony, desire building up in your stomach as his skillful fingers easily popped open every button that held the fabric of your night shirt together.

“I want you..” Izuku whispered hotly against your kiss-slick, swollen lips. His deep, saccharine voice coated in lust sending shivers down your spine, straight to your core, making you clench around thin air.

Your heart pounded in your ears as he shoved you down against his large bed, caging you in on the mattress with his muscular arms covered in tattoos and scars, your only article of clothing now discarded.

Fully bare, all for him to admire.

The cold night air from being out in open waters made you squirm beneath him, nipples already hardening.

“You’re so cute..” The pirate with messy green curls practically swooned, the pirate you were madly in love with.

Pirate.. such a strange word. It should fill you with fear. It doesn’t. Not anymore.

Hearts were in his enchanting green eyes as he leaned down to kiss you once more, sweetly, carefully, filled with pure love.

That pure love quickly melted into the thick, sticky tar-like goop that was lust.

Could you blame him?

He loved to kiss you. He couldn’t help himself.

To him, you were more addicting than any alcohol thats ever touched his tongue.

He could just drink you all up, devour you again and again and again and never get tired of the flavor - nor the high you always give him.

Your plush thighs wrapped around his slender waist, pulling him closer towards you.

You wanted to feel him, feel every inch of him. If you didn’t.. you swore you’d go mad.

His own shirt was discarded long ago, exposing his rippling muscles.

Your dainty hands, so small in comparison to his, had the pleasure of feeling up every muscle and blemish on his warm back. Moles and freckles painted the night skin on his skin.

He smelt like vanilla and cinnamon rum, sea water, sweat, and misplaced pine.

His scent always made you feel safe and secure, at home as your mind fell into madness.

A gasp escaped your lips, breaking the loving kiss when he rutted his hips against yours, clothed erection pressing against your soaked bare self.

Large hands groped and massaged your chest that jiggled everytime he ground his hard-on against you, fingers rubbing and pulling at your nubs

Your unashamed cries echoed around the dark room illuminated in moonlight, fingernails dragging along his tanned flesh, his searing kiss now on your neck. Teeth dragged along its column, nipping and licking, searching for that spot that made you squeal so he could leave a possessive love bite on.

His curls tickled your cheeks and collarbones, they always did.

Sudden frustration made you reach between your burning bodies just to yank his underwear down, letting his thick, throbbing cock spring free from its confinement’s.

It slapped heavily down on your tummy, his flushed tip leaking precum all over your naval.

“My, my,” he chuckled against you, “Impatient, are we?”

“J-just a bi- nnn..!”

Forcefully spreading your soft legs apart, he slid his heavy cock between your pussy lips, coating himself with your slick.

The leaking tip of his cock rubbed perfectly against your sensitive clit and labia as he rubbed himself between your slippery, smooth folds, shockwaves of pleasure burning at your nerves.

You swore you could feel every vein on his dick.

“H-haAh..!”

The act alone was so lewd, filthy, and downright sinful that it made your cheeks burn hotter than the swirling flame in your stomach that only grew with each movement he made.

You were nearly embarassed, so completely exposed and vulnerable but.. everything felt so good.

His movements were slow and careful and it drove you insane but it felt.. it felt amazing.

His cock was heavy and it put just the right amount of pressure in all the right places. All the places that made you tremble.

You couldnt help but rub your cunt against his length as well, desperately trying to match his pace as whines slipped out your throat with every movement. Your clit dragged along his cockhead, the size difference between it and you making your dizzy.

You could feel yourself dripping onto the sheets below, staining them with your essence, leaving a puddle below your ass, his calculated movements only making you gush even more like a leak in a boat.

You wanted him inside you so bad you were about to cry. To feel him, for him to fill you to the brim and claim you as his own, to leave you with a headache from the loud and aggressive banging of the headboard against the wall.

You wanted him to fuck you so good and hard you couldn’t stand the next morning — to completely rock your world and drown you in him again and again, over and over until you passed out in his strong arms that would always hold you so tenderly.

Your cunt ached for him. Silky smooth, gummy walls wanted to feel him so much.

You couldn’t take this teasing much longer, you needed more.

“You’re so wet for me, my darling..”

He was always in such awe whenever he felt how wet you were.. always so wet for him.

Only him.

You were his, and his alone.

His precious treasure.

The one thing he couldnt live without.

Cocky smirk on his lips, he lifted himself to stare down at you, admiring your blissful expression.

Hand grabbing himself, he swirled his tip around your twitching, puffy clit, cooing when your back arched off the bed and your eyes slipped shut as a long moan was drawn out of you.

“My precious little angel,”

Dragging his tip down to your fluttering hole, he pressed ever so slightly in, humming when you clenched around him, pussy seemingly trying to drag him in.

A little warm welcome.

“I cant wait to hear you scream my name.”

#deku x reader #izuku midoriya x reader #izuku x reader #midoriya izuku x reader #mha x reader #n/sfw #pirate deku x reader #dom deku x reader #deku x you #bnha x reader #my hero academia x reader #🎶 anon

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amoristt · 3 years

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Grazing the Fire | IV

well hello. here i am, four years later, once again enamored with nathan enough to finally dust this baby off and pick up where i left it. im a little rusty so bear with me this chapter! much more to come <3

reblogs + tags and replies will make my entire day as i put a lot of effort into this :)! it also helps motivate me!

story continues beneath the read more. let me know if you can’t access it!

Warning: language, very vague s/a mentions

want to support me? heres my kofi!

__________________________

“Alright class, who can tell me,” A board stick clacks against the chalkboard. “Who can answer problem four?”

A few hands raise in the corners of your eye, but yours remains atop your desk. Eyes far away, mind in a murky haze and almost completely unaware. All you could focus on were the memories playing on repeat within the confines of your tired, tired brain. Hours ago, you were warm, you were comfortable. Safe.

Cheeks heated to a dusting blush when you remind yourself just how you had awoken that morning. At some point in the night, an angel had blessed you. Allowed you to wake up wrapped around none other than big, bad, Nathan Prescott. Your face nuzzled into his chest, broad but wiry hands pressed firmly over your shoulder and his arm slung over your waist to keep you against him. Thankfully you had been the first to wake up, blinking away the morning sun blazing through his blinds and painting the room stripes of gold. At that moment, before your headache came crashing down onto your skull, you were astounded by him.

Eye lashes brushing the top of his cheeks, his lips parted ever so slightly, chest rising and falling rhythmically. In that moment, there was no anger, no bitterness. Just a soft and peaceful slumber. It was like being the sole viewer of a magnificent painting- each stroke and detail placed just there just for you to pick out, to remember the curves and sharp edges down to the very foundation. From his unkempt hair down to the way his hand flattened onto the mattress where your indent still lived. Nathan was so beautiful like this.

For a long time you stayed there. It was as though you were afraid to move- you couldn’t bear to disturb him. You had wondered, if he was always like this, so at peace, what would he be like? Likely soft voiced, mild mannered. He’d do his school assignments without hassle and donate to the charity board. He would wander the town with his friends and listen to music in a beat up truck flying down the stretch of highway overlooking the bold, blue, and beautiful ocean. An entirely different version of himself- carefree, and a fair blue as opposed to a burning flame of red.

But, if that were the case, you’d never have gotten here. You’d never been both the outsider, and the only seeing eye. A lucky, albeit firstly unwilling witness to the display of depth before you.

It never hit you like it had quite in that moment how lucky you were.

But- just then- an alarm disturbed what serendipity existed. You nearly leapt out of your skin, clutched your hands to your chest at the sudden sound. A headache wove its way into your once untouched temples. Nathan groaned, mumbled, ‘god damn it’, under his breath, and thus his body was reanimated into life. He rubbed his eyes and he stretched, that familiar scowl coming over his eyes and lips as he took in the sunlight damn near blinding him. A polar opposite to the being you’d appreciated just moments earlier.

“Ugh, fuck, how the fuck is it seven already.” He groaned. “I feel like shit.”

“Well good morning to you too,” You started, welcoming Nathan into the world. “‘I’m feeling pretty shitty as well.”

You said that, but really… You were more than alright. Your head had hurt, slight nausea crept into the wells of your stomach, but other than that you’re sure you were phenomenally better than you’d have been waking up whereverTate would have left your ass.

“You need to get outta here, before everyone gets up.” Nathan drawled, but he didn’t sound as urgent as you expected him to be. You’d expected him to be angry that you were still in his room, but instead he just… accepted it.

You snickered, climbing out of his throne of a bed. “Wow, you’re giving me the morning after treatment?”

“Sure am. Get outta here, whore.”

“Oh fuck you.”

You located your heels from last night, resting upright near his dorm room door. Heels didn’t sound like the most practical to sneak out of a dorm with, so you instead opted to grappling them by the straps and carrying them at your side. Hair a mess, outfit riddled with wrinkles and makeup smudged under your eyes, you stood before Nathan in all your glory. He stared at you for a long, odd moment- and you for some reason felt exposed, or even, shy.

“What?” You ask expectantly, placing a hand on your hip.

His eyes trail to your line of vision. He shakes his head. “Just thinking about how now you really do look like my morning after.”

“Yeah?” You hummed. “Find it hard to believe you get a lot of those.”

Nathan shoots you a suggestive glance. “You’d be surprised. Everyone wants a piece of Prescott.”

Surely, he was joking, or maybe he wasn’t, but you… Didn’t like hearing that. It made your stomach feel odd, uncomfortably heavy. As he stood up, reminding you how many inches he had over your size, you swallowed and cleared your throat to flush out that crappy feeling. “Well,” you started, mood having dropped. “I’m gonna go, then.”

“What got your panties in a twist all the sudden?” He asked, raising a brow and pulling some clothes from his closet, tossing them onto the bed.

The bed you two had shared.

You hated the idea of his morning afters- whoever they may be.

“Not feeling great. Probably a side effect of the roofies.” You mumbled.

Nathan breathed a laugh. “Probably.”

He seemed so calm, right now. Perhaps due to it being so early, before the outside world had a chance to remind him just why he was so uptight all the tight. Before he needed to be so uptight all the time. He really did have so many versions of himself- all of whom you were slowly becoming familiar with. Compared to the person you’d believed him to be before your run ins, you’d never have assumed someone so dangerous could be so soft as last night, as this morning. In the beginning, you’d feared him. Avoided him like a plague, or a wild animal. Even when you were enraptured in the existence of him, you still wanted to keep away. You’d never have believed someone like you could wake up clutched to his chest, as though he were afraid if he released you, you’d be gone long before he woke.

Then, a sudden thought struck your mind.

He’d held you so tight. He’d welcomed you in the morning. No anger, no annoyance. His soft laugh at your banter and taunts. How your heels were standing upright instead of tossed haphazardly into some random corner, where he’d watch your struggle to find.

How he’d stayed awake to ensure your sleep.

“So are you just gonna stand there?” Nathan called you back to reality, hands gripping the hems of his shirt. “I gotta get ready and you need to wash up so you don’t look like a five dollar stripper.” Cruel words, but with absolutely no bite. You rolled your eyes.

“Yeah. But, hey,” You started. “Thank you for last night.”

“Yeah, yeah. You gotta start learning to watch your own back.” He says. “There’s gonna be times I won’t be there to drag your ass out of the fire.”

If you’d been charged, if you’d been stricken with a strange defensiveness, you’d have retorted, ‘than stop helping me’, but… Instead you allowed yourself the comfort of protection. You allowed Nathan Prescott to watch you.

“I know,” You reached for the door. “Thank you.”

With that, you bounded out of the dorm silent as a mouse.

-----------

In hindsight, you should have left earlier. Class was merely 15 minutes away when you slipped out of Nathan's room and bounded towards the women's dorm. Albeit not exactly a long walk, by the time you discreetly snuck back into your own dorm, you had roughly twenty minutes to somehow pick an outfit from your countless unopened boxes and make yourself even slightly presentable.

Wiping off whatever make-up you could get and reapplying it, brushing out the tangles of your hair and nearly tearing off your scalp in the process, scattering your nightclothes over your floor and managing to scrounge out a semi-decent outfit for the day… You still looked a mess. If the mirror could laugh, it would have. Black mascara smudges under your eyes and frizzy untreated hair. What a lovely look.

You’d made it to class just five minutes late, but those five minutes were all it took for all eyes to be on you as you tried to slide into the classroom unnoticed. A couple classmates whispered to their table mates as you passed by, smelling of oversaturated cherry blossom perfume to hopefully cover the scent of alcohol. You sauntered to your seat and sank down with all your weight, suddenly exhausted. You’d made it with just five minutes tainting your record of attendance. The teacher greeted you with a disappointed sigh, and thus, the day began.

But, it was so hard to focus. All you could think about was Nathan.

“Alright class, who can tell me,” A board stick clacks against the chalkboard. “Who can answer problem four?”

You lowered your head.

“Ah, how about, ___?”

You snaked back into reality, blinking up at the chalk board that was somehow already riddled with math equations. Since you hadn’t been paying attention even in the slightest, your mouth gaped wide open, eyes scanning for something you understood even slightly so you didn’t look like a total idiot.

Sadly, you were out of luck. The teacher shook his head. “I’m shocked,” He said. “You're normally so on top of things. Oh well.”

“Oh, I’m sure she was on top of things,” A female voice sniggered behind you “Last night.”

Your face flushed a red, hot, ruby. What the hell was she talking about? How had they found out you were with Nathan? You were so sure of being sneaky, there was no way-

“Her and Tate totally got it on last night.”

You whipped around in your seat, facing girls who looked to be clones of some sort. Both with the same dark eyes, short brown hair, and freckles. “What?”

“Alright-” Your teacher blurted. “That's enough. April, May, enough. Let’s not discuss things outside of the classroom.”

The two girls batted their eyes. “Sorry sir.” One spoke, twirling a hand through her hair. Her sister's wide toothy grin never fumbled.

“Back to it then. Kate, can you help out __ with number four?”

The small, blonde girl nodded quickly, brushing a lock of hair behind her eyes and offering an empathic nod.

As you turned around in your seat, her answer fell on deaf ears. Your heart was racing in your chest, hands balled into fists while you stared ahead blankly.

They couldn’t seriously think that you chose to leave with Tate, could they? Surely someone must have seen the state you were in. Someone other than Nathan.

The clock ticks forward but time feels like it's passing almost unnaturally slow. With just 10 minutes left, you feel your phone vibrate in your pocket.

‘Nathan: consider ur favor officially returned

Your tongue poked from your lips, the tiniest of smiles taking over your once sullen features. Terrible thoughts and worries flew out the window while you type back, ‘damn. here i was gonna to ask you to do a backflip off the roof with me. there goes my plans.’

Nathan types for a moment. Typing, stopping, typing again.

‘Nathan: soundz like a blast. where and when?’

A small blush heats your cheeks. ‘very funny. thanks to last night i have an entire 24 hour session of studying to catch up with.’

His response is almost instant. ‘Nathan: boringgg. txt me when ur fun.’

Rolling your eyes, you shove your phone back into your pocket. It seems you’ve been able to secure enough of a friendship with him for some mindless banter even outside your little visits. You smile. He’s… Fun to talk to. Surprisingly.

Class comes to an end and you start to pack up the books and papers you’d hardly even glanced at the whole period. Whatever had been upsetting you before is lost in your mind while you think of the morning, the night before. All the things in-between. But, your happiness doesn’t last long. As you get up, you’re almost forced right back into your seat as a weight shoves into your shoulder. Your books scatter to the floor. April, the one who’d remarked about you earlier, glares at you in what looks to be disgust.

“Careful April,” Her sister hums as she saunters past you, keeping distance and raising her already shrill tone of voice. “Might wanna watch where you’re walking- I’d hate for you to catch something from this slut.”

You absolutely gawk at her. “What the fuck did you just say to me?”

April scoffs. “Oh come on, like everyone doesn’t know what you were up to last night.”

“Sleeping around isn’t a good color on you.” May hikes her bag over her shoulder and snickers at you. They both leave the class together, sickeningly in sync. You’re left stunned where you stand, unsure how the hell your life came to this so quickly. How you’ve stooped so low that the daughters of the world's most uncreative parents are able to bully you based on something that didn’t even happen.

Next class goes no better. The person to your right, a jockey looking brunette guy, asks, ‘have you ever heard of a Tate?’. You say no, that that’s the dumbest name you’ve ever heard. The idiot grins and goes back to marking down likely wrong answers on his test sheet and you debate kicking the leg of his chair out- but you don’t to avoid even more eyes on you. It makes you sick to your stomach- even more than recovering from the roofies does. How can everyone believe it? You barely even knew the guy and you were clearly uncomfortable with his advances. No one saw that?

After everything you’d worked for to build a reputation, trying so hard to not call out peoples shit for the sake of seeming friendly, tainted over something that didn’t even happen? And the kicker was that it hadn’t even been your fault! He’d drugged you, he’d have taken advantage of you! Yet you were the bad person?

Class came and went in the blink of an eye this time. Your mind wrapped up in the situation, your stomach churning. You wanted the day to be over with but you still had 4 more classes to suffer through. Why was this happening to you? Was Tate being treated just as horribly, or was he getting pats on the backs of his unaware friends?

Wandering down the halls to your locker, you noticed Lance and Kaz hanging around one of the drinking fountains. Your nerves quelled- your friends would surely make you feel much better. Especially since they had witnessed how awful you were feeling as you left. You approach with a relieved smile, ready to say your truth and finally have someone on your side.

“Hey guys.” You smile, but Lance looks down at his feet while Kaz places her hands to his hips. Your smile fades.

“You could have told us you were gonna spend the night with Tate,” Kaz snaps. “You didn’t need to lie like that just to leave. We were all worried about you and it was for nothing.”

“What?” You feel like you could cry. “No, Kaz, I really did try to leave. Tate tried to drug me and take me home, and-”

“He wouldn’t do that.” Lance interrupts, with a frown. He looks back down at the floor with knitted brows. “I’ve known Tate since before time. He wouldn't do something like that, especially not to one of my best friends. Plus he told me he was really into you. Why would he even try?”

“Are you serious?” You sputter. “You think I’d lie about something like that?”

“You’ve been lying about all sorts of things!” Kaz huffs. “What’s going on with you lately? You’ve been so distant, and secretive. What are you hiding that’s making you lie like this? We’re supposed to be your friends and then you lie to our faces just to go and fuck the first guy that shows you attention.”

“What…?” It was like acid. It was like the rug had been pulled from your feet sending you spiraling down the unending cliff. Kaz, your best friend, all that venom. How could they turn against you like this? What the hell is going on? You felt your throat tighten. “Look, I’m sorry if I’ve been distant, but I’m not lying to you, I-”

“We gotta go.” Lance isn’t in the mood to hear it. “We’ll catch up to you.. Some other time.”

Kaz says nothing as she pushes past you. Lance, at least, spares a short glance over his shoulder. You stood there alone in the hallway, your bag falling off your shoulder and clattering onto the floor with a thud echoing off the walls. Everything you had, all gone at once.

No one believed you.

---------

With nowhere to go where you felt like you could truly allow yourself to process the day's events, you went to the only place you knew.

Just outside of campus, where rocks lined the edge of the boundary, overlooking the outskirts of the town and the ocean stretching as far as the eye could see. You settled yourself there, staring at the vast waters and wondering how this had all happened. Unlucky didn’t even begin to cover how it felt. Not only did you feel violated with Tate attempting to do unthinkable things with your unconscious body, but you also felt alone, and walked on. Your best friends hadn’t believed you. While Lance seemed saddened, Kaz was so… Angry. Her words cut like knives into your skin.

It wasn’t fair. It wasn’t fair. You didn’t deserve this.

You want to talk to Nathan, but knowing him, he’d see your state and bounce instantly. After all, this isn’t exactly very fun of you.

As the sun began to fall, splaying orange and blues over the wide open sky, behind you, you could hear voices. A group of them, some male, some female. Memories of when your notebook had gotten snatched by those two horsed face assholes came flooding back and with all your alertness, you stood up, and decided that this sitting place was no longer safe. Nothing was.

Before you even made it ten feet away, the group had found their way to your spot and gotten comfortable, one of the girls cheering, ‘this’ll be our hangout! look at how pretty the view is!’

You took a short drive down the stretches of road and decided that if you were going to lament in your own sadness, you were at least going to do so in a place that had something to cover the sound of your tears. Plus a nice view.

The beach, littered with its picnic tables and the sounds of crashing waves would suffice just fine. So, you pulled in the desolate parking lot and wandered down the sandy shores until you stumbled upon a picnic table shaded by a large willow cascading lushious branches to block out the sun- a perfect canopy for you to wallow under.

You had nothing at that moment. No friends, no reputation, no one to believe your tragic tale. And now, you’d just lost the one spot that made you feel comfortable when stress was building into your body like concrete. Tears pricked into the corners of your eyes and you bit your lip, dreading that feeling of a lump in your throat. Why you? Everything had been going so well. How could not even a single person believe that Tate had tried to hurt you?

Well, actually, there was one person.

Of course Nathan believed you. He’d been the one to rescue you, after all. Time and time again it seemed. How was it that even the ones closest to you would turn their back so fast, yet Nathan seemed to be there even when you didn’t want him to be? Even when you yelled at him, and he yelled right back, fire and sparks falling into embers around the two of you.

In that moment, you almost felt like you could finally relate to him. A reputation based on lies and things out of your control, paired with a hardheaded attitude to try and combat all the assumptions.

No wonder he was so angry.

“Hey bitch,” A voice suddenly called, and you had a split second moment where you were terrified of once again being the victim of a cruel prank or some classmates boredom. “How about next time you have a pity party you don’t fucking call me in the middle of it.”

You blinked away your tears and through the blurriness saw a figure coming towards you. All that sass, the tone...

“Nathan?” You breathed. It only takes moments before he’s in front of you, holding his phone in view, seeing that the call that had been running for nearly ten minute. You flush in embarrassment, pulling your phone from your back pocket. “How did that happen?”

“Well, can your ass dial numbers?” He taunts, ending the call.

“Damn it, dumb phone must have butt-dialed you. I knew I should’ve gotten a different one.” You mentally kick yourself. “It must have unlocked in my pocket.”

“You don’t have a password on your phone?” He taunts. When you shake your head, he whistles. “You are just begging for a robbery. I’ll keep that in mind when I’m in the mood to send random messages to all your buddies.”

“Fuck off.” You scowl, and he grins, hopping up on the picnic table next to you. The sun flatters his skin. He’s almost glowing.

“Speaking of buddies, how the hell did it pick my number out of your sea of friends?”

You shrug. “Probably cuz’ it’s a priority contact.”

“Oh lala, I’ve been upgraded to priority huh? Does it display a superman logo whenever you give it a ring?”

“Nope. When I press call it rings the nearest asshole in my vicinity. The fact that it’s you is your own problem.”

“Haha, fucking ha.” He leans forward and rests his elbows on his knees. He stares out at the water, watching waves pull and crash onto the beach. It’s almost beautiful, until he ruins it. “Yknow, you’re a really ugly crier.”

“Wow, thanks.” You shake your head. “That's exactly what I needed to hear right now. Why did you even stay on the line?.” Wiping your eyes, you start to forget your tears. “Couldn’t have been that wild of a conversation.”

Nathan shrugs. “Between the crying and the sound of the waves it was pretty nice.” He grins. “Very educational.”

“Awesome. Glad I was able to make your day.” It doesn’t feel like your usual bitey remarks. You’re tired, you’re still a little hurt and you can’t stop thinking about how such an amazing morning had turned into such a horrible day.

“So what’s got you all fucked up? Never seen you act like this big of a baby before.”

“Nothing. You already paid off your debt to me per this morning, so feel free to resume our regularly scheduled mutual hatred.” You say, lying through your teeth. You know you’re both past the point of hatred, but you’re feeling jaded, you can’t help it.

“Oh shut the fuck up,” He groans. “I didn’t drag my ass all the fucking way out to this shit hole of a beach just for you to give me that bullshit. What, did you fail a test? No one matched you on tinder?”

“Everyone thinks me and Tate slept together last night.” You blurt. “I think he’s telling people me and him had sex.”

Nathan tenses his shoulders and grimaces. “Fucking werido.”

“I told my best friends that he tried to take advantage of me and they don’t believe me. One of em’ even said he wouldn’t do something like that.”

“Fuck em’. Who needs best friends.”

“And to make everything so much better, these two bitches that I share four of my classes with harassed me all goddamn day. I mean, fucks sake, how the hell are girls named April and May of all things able to get to me. It’s bullshit. And to make matters worse, Tate is just… Getting away with it.”

“Yeah well, something tells me that Tate’s gonna get a real nice fucking taste of medicine eventually. I just gotta find him first. He’s got a lot of nerve spreading shit around given I knocked his ass onto the pavement.” Nathan brows knit at the memory.

You test the waters. “Why would you do that for me?”

He seems caught off guard, or maybe, surprised that you’d ask. Maybe he thinks you’re both beyond that point. He grumbles, “Why does it matter.”

“I’m just curious. We don’t owe each other anything, remember?”

“Yeah, well,” He huffs. “Don’t ask me questions to shit I don’t know the answer to.”

“You say that an awful lot.” You tease.

“Yeah well you ask dumbass questions an awful lot. Not everything I do has to have some weird ass motives behind it, ___. Maybe I’ve got beef with Tate that’s outside of you.”

“Uhuh. Sure.” You’re about to say something else, when your phone lights up with a text. The display makes your heart fall all over again.

Unknown Number: you should just pack up and go somewhere else. no one wants std’s from breathing your air xoxo

You don’t even know who that is. Now absolute strangers are on your case. You want to throw your phone into the ocean and leave.

Nathan scoffs. “Don’t even bat a fucking eye for that bitch, whoever the hell they are. Half the hoes you’ve mentioned have slept with half the football team,” he pinches his jacket, “and I would know.”

“Ew, Nathan,” You grimace, that same feeling from the morning returning. It feels, oddly, like jealousy. He nudges your arm with his elbow and grins playfully. It’s cute.

“Chill, I’m just fucking with you. You gotta know even I wouldn’t fuck girls that desperate. I’m a man of class.”

That last comment actually forces a laugh from you. It’s soft, but it’s real. The first laugh you’ve genuinely had all day. “That’s horrible.” You remark, giggling again.

It's almost like the slight restoration of your mood puts him at ease as well. He leans back on his hands and stares off into the ocean, those sparkling waters under the setting, orange sun. “I’m for real though. Those hoes aren’t worth your time. One day when we blow this shithole of a town they’re not even gonna matter.”

Your brows knit, eyes blinking up at him. Had you heard that right?

“We?” You ask, perplexed, albeit a little… Hopeful.

Nathan sputters. “Well- Like, when everyone’s older and-”

“You know what, it's fine.” You interrupt. “Fuck it. You’re right. We’re gonna blow this town and they’re just gonna be some shitty memories.”

He sucks in a shaky breath. You’ve never heard him scramble like that, like he’s been unmasked. The look he casts you when you agree, when you don’t tease or patronize and finally hop on the idea that yeah, what if the two of you really didn’t have to deal with it anymore.

What if the two of you could just exist, without the anger.

You look up at him. “Would you actually do that though?” You start. “With me, of all people?”

He swallows. His expression is tense, but he’s not upset. He appears nervous, caught off guard. Nathan tries, “I-”

Your phone rings. Shrill, piercing. Mood destroying.

“Jesus Christ, it’s my mom.” You grab your phone and Nathan looks forward, stone faced and silent as you hop off the table and answer. It’s your mother, who all but shouts into the phone that her and your father are taking a surprising visit to Arcadia Bay while they’re traveling by on their vacation. She insists that you be ready in about an hour for dinner, and likely there will be family photos.

Which means if you still look as wrecked as you did this morning, you’re gonna have a lot of washing up to do. With a quick goodbye, a short and sweet, ‘love you’, you hang up and sigh.

“You still tell your mom you love her?” He teases. “What are you, five?”

You frown. “You don’t tell your parents you love them?”

Nathan side eyes you, and just shrugs. It is all the answer you need, really, and for his sake you decide it wouldn’t be best to press the issue. Not now. But- it still makes your heart hurt just a little. You wished that he’d had it better growing up.

“Right… Do you want a ride home?”

“Fuck no, what am I,” He shoves his hands into his pockets. “a fucking girl scout?”

“I was just offering, weirdo.” When he doesn't get up, you feel like you’re missing out. Like if you stayed, maybe, just maybe, you’d get to know him a little better. “Hey, if you want, I can stay for a bit longer.”

He rolls his eyes. “You’re needed elsewhere. But,” he shrugs. “I don’t know. Fuckin’... Text me or something. Or not, I don’t care either way.”

There’s a small warmth in your chest that rises to your cheeks. He wants you to text him. “Yeah,” You say. “If I’m feeling fun.”

And with that, you bid him farewell, beginning your descent to the parking lot.

“Hey,” He calls, and you turn just in time to catch a small item he’s tossed right at you. A tiny key resides in the palm of your hand. “Spare. If shit hits the fan again-...” He shrugs, and actually looks away. “Just don’t be too fucking loud of I’ll kick your ass out myself. No Madison needed.”

The widest grin plays over your lips. “I’m gonna re-decorate your room while you’re gone.”

“Ah, you fucking better not.” He shouts. “Actually- you know what, give it back.”

“No, no! I’m sorry.” You play with the key between your fingers. “Thanks for this.”

“Yeah, whatever. Don’t lose it and remember- emergencies only. I don’t need you watching me sleep like fucking freak. We’re past that stage.”

“How many times will I have to say I was never watching you. Christ… But, alright. See ya, then.” The key is heavy in your palm.

You place it into your pocket and give him one last glance before you take off, leaving him to enjoy the sound of waves, birds, and the absence of your tears.

#nathan prescott #nathan prescott x reader #life is strange #grazing the fire #scenario #fanfic #fluff

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fly-sky-high-bug-games · 3 years

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youtube

Lyrics bellow :0

When I was a child

I didn't hear a single word you said

The things I was afraid of

They were all confined beneath my bed

But the years have been long

And you have taught me well to hide away

The things that I believed in

You've taught me to call them all escapes

I know who you are now

I know who you are

I know who you are now

There before the threshold

I saw a brighter world beyond myself

And in my hour of weakness

You were there to see my courage fail

For the years have been long

And you have taught me well to sit and wait

Planning without acting

Steadily becoming what I hate

I know who you are now

I know who you are

I know who you are now

I have always known you

You have always been there in my mind

But now I understand you

And I will not be part of your designs

I know who I am now

And all that you've made of me

I know who you are now

And I name you my enemy

I know who I am now

I know who I want to be

I want to be more than

This devil inside of me

#hollow knight #the hollow knight #thk #just moment of music inspiration #post infection with pantheon endings #thinking about them being very angry with PK after everything #brings me much joy #Youtube #my art

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pascalpanic · 3 years

Text

Fooled Around and Fell in Love (Javier Peña x f!Reader)

@carstwirs: hello lovie I dunno if u still taking but could u do "can u hold my hand" & "I like the way your hands fit in mine" with javier peña please very fluffy and kissy kissy

Inspo: Fooled Around and Fell In Love by Elvin Bishop

Summary: You and Javier, unsurprisingly, are friends with benefits. Javier has a bigger heart than he lets on.

W/C: 2.4K

Warnings: language, nondescript sexual content, lots of fluff and a dash of angst for flavor

A/N: hi!! This was also a combination of my song prompt for @din-damn-djarin’s celebration! I chose Fooled Around And Fell In Love as my song for it, and it fit perfectly with this request! I hope y’all like it bc soft Javi is my JAM!

Sneaking around was key with Javier Peña. The two of you were field agents during the hunt for Escobar; discretion was key in both your work and your love life.

Could you even call it a love life, you wondered? It was starting to feel more and more like love to you, but you and Javier only had each other during the off hours of work, the spare moments in the evidence room. Those were the only times that you could wrap your arms around him, that you could pull him to you by the belt and press your lips firmly to his.

Javier was strong and handsome, gorgeous brown eyes and thick biceps and tight shirts. You’d started fooling around with him late one night at the office, when the two of you were the last ones working. Steve was long gone, you were both frustrated with the paperwork, and Javier looked so goddamn good that you walked closer and stared into his eyes. He looked up at you and put out his cigarette, asked what you were looking at.

You knew his reputation. You knew what he did with women, and you wanted it for yourself. You responded that you were looking at that godawful mustache, I wonder how any girl lets you go down on her with that thing, and he pulled you down to him by the shirt and asked you if you wanted a trial. And you kissed him hard, with tongue and teeth and it led to you riding Javier right there in his office chair. It was so good that you kept going, sneaking around the office and his apartment and yours and anywhere you could get him.

The sex was fantastic, even better with the idea that it was forbidden and discreet and could never see the light of day. The nights you’d spend in Javier’s bed, on his couch, in his shower. Wherever he could get you, he’d take you, and you were more than willing to oblige.

After you ravaged each other, after you’d thoroughly marked the easier-covered patches of skin on each other’s bodies, after your lips were reddened and swollen and bruised, that was when the moments of truth came. Your head would rest on Javier’s chest while he’d stroke your hair, murmur sweet nothings to you. And they were truly that: nothings. Words that didn’t mean or promise shit when these excursions had to be confined to closed bedrooms and locked supply closets in the embassy.

No matter how secretive Javier could keep himself, Steve could always read through his screen. He knew the man like he knew his wife, maybe even better since he was a man like him. He could see each little cog turn and tick inside of his brain. He could notice the way his fingers would tap against his desk in a different rhythm when he was craving a cigarette from when he had to go piss from when he was anxious.

So even though you two had smirks on your faces as you went your separate ways, Javier sneaking from the evidence room three minutes before you would, Steve had always known. He’d noticed the way your legs were a little more wobbly than they were before in your heels, the way Javier was in a better mood for the rest of the day.

Steve had also noticed the moment where Javier had fallen in love. He’d returned to his desk with a smudge of your signature lipstick under his jaw that he’d missed. Steve didn’t comment. Javier’s smile looked smitten, not smug. His pen tapped a different rhythm against his desk. It was a new one, one Steve had yet to learn and file away. He learned it as the rhythm he’d tap out when he was in love.

You’d entered this situation with Javier with an understanding that this would be like anything else he’s ever done, that he’d continue this as a casual dalliance and that he’d move on soon. You were friends at work, and that came first and foremost. The sex would end eventually, and you’d both have to move on. Neither of you expected to fall for the other.

Javier is a creature of habit, despite the fact that he likes to think he’s unpredictable. He comes home from work at some godforsaken hour late at night, he drinks a glass of whiskey. If he has any energy, he calls up his latest plaything. If he doesn’t, he downs a second glass and passes out in his bed.

Tonight, Javier is in a melancholy mood. His glass of whiskey sinks him lower into this dark hole, and when you answer your ringing phone, he is not flirty or sexy or suggestive. “Hey, dulzura. Wanna come over?” He asks, his voice exhausted.

You frown a little. “What’s wrong?” You ask through the phone, wedging the receiver between your ear and your shoulder.

Javier sighs. “Nothing. Just… could use a little something to make it feel better. Or someone.”

A small smile forms on your face from his weak effort to be flirtatious. “I’ll come right over, Javi,” you inform him, and he has an equally small smile on his face.

A few minutes later, you knock on his door. Two stoic faces turn to smiles as you see each other. It isn’t typical of your relationship to be affectionate. You’re either fucking or you’re professionals at work. But Javier needs it, you rationalize, as you throw your arms around and hug him tight. Little does he know that it’s equally as much for you as it is for him. It takes him a second, but he wraps his arms around you too and pulls you to his chest. “Bad day?” You murmur and nuzzle your nose into his neck.

Javier sighs. “Yeah.”

You press a soft kiss to his skin and look up at him with a smile. You brush his dark hair back from his forehead as you look into his eyes. “What do you need, hm?” You ask in a quiet voice, tilting your head as you look at him.

He can’t say what he really wants, what he needs. He needs you to hold him for the rest of the night, to talk to him softly in your beautiful voice that soothes all of his nerves, to kiss his skin just like you did earlier but do it over and over, all over his body, not even in a sexual way. “You,” he mumbles just as quietly.

You chuckle a little. “I don’t think we should fuck tonight, Javi,” you admit, a hand on his chest.

“That’s not what I meant,” he says and shakes his head. You’re confused, and your brow furrows lightly in confusion in a way that looks so goddamn adorable that Javier wants to scream and shout. “Just… stay here with me?”

You nod, your eyes still confused but your heart softening. This is going to spell trouble, especially with your recent realization of how painfully in love with him you are. “Of course, Javi. Can… how about I make us dinner?” You offer.

He shakes his head. “We can make it together,” he says, leading you to the kitchen. He opens the fridge, which is embarrassingly bare. You go to a cupboard and pull out a box of pasta and a can of sauce. He sees it and smiles. “That’s perfect,” he nods, filling a pot with water and putting it on the stove.

All of your words are somewhat hushed and quiet, as if either of you is afraid to break the calm of the moment. The domesticity of it all. Javier turns on the burner on the stove and you find his cassette player, popping in the first tape you find. The smooth music starts playing and you dance around his kitchen, scooting up behind him and wrapping your arms around him. “Come dance with me,” you murmur and press a kiss into his shoulder blade.

“What has gotten into you?” He asks you teasingly but turns in your arms, wrapping an arm around you. He takes one of your hands in his, holding it out to the side and starting to dance with you.

You hum along to the song and shrug. “You need some love,” you tell him with a soft smile, and it cracks his hardened expression.

You rest your head on his chest and he relaxes, swaying you along. You’re both quiet for a moment. You wonder if you overstepped it with the word love, but he seems to enjoy it. “I like the way your hand fits in mine,” he murmurs to you and presses a kiss to your forehead.

The utter tenderness of the moment is unlike anything you and Javier have ever shared before. Things between you have always been rough and fast, about pleasure and not feelings. This is uncharted territory. You’re holding each other, slow dancing in his kitchen. His arms are warm and strong around you. “I like it too,” you tell him genuinely in a soft voice. The lyrics of the song ring out through the kitchen, and you can’t help but feel your throat go dry at the words.

I must have been through about a million girls

I'd love 'em then I'd leave 'em alone

I didn't care how much they cried, no sir

Their tears left me cold as a stone

But then I fooled around and fell in love

I fooled around and fell in love, yes I did

I fooled around and fell in love

Javier’s breath hitches. You can feel it, his chest fluttering beneath your head. His face is still pressed into your hair. “Can I admit something to you, dulzura?” He mumbles.

Your eyes are watering, and you bury your face in his neck. You pray that it’s the words you want to hear. You squeak out an ‘mhm’ into his skin.

“I think this song was meant for us. Because we’ve been fooling around… but I think I fell in love with you,” he chokes out nervously, stopping his feet and planting the two of you in the middle of the kitchen.

You lift your head and look at him, the tears beginning to fall from your eyes. “Javi,” you coo, your lower lip quivering.

His eyes go wide in fear. This is why he doesn’t show emotions, he tells himself, because it never fucking works, it always ends wrong. He gets his desperate heart broken and that’s why he hides it, locks it and swallows the key. “But if you don’t feel the same, I understand,” he says quietly. His lower lip sticks out slightly.

You laugh through the tears, looking at him with wet eyes. “Javi. I have thought the same about you for so long. I am so in love with you, and I was so worried you wouldn’t feel the same. I can’t believe, I just-“

He cuts you off by cupping your face in his hands and pressing your lips to his, sighing at the feeling. It’s everything you’ve wanted, warm and slow and everything about it is a release of tension. You’ve kissed him before, sure, but it’s been hot and sloppy and hurried, for the sole point of removing each other’s pants. This is because he wants to, because he wants you for you and not the warmth between your legs.

You break away, and Javier looks down at you. “Why are you crying?” He asks with a soft smile.

Looking up at him, there are tears on your face but not an ounce of sadness. “Because I love you so much. And I thought eventually you’d get tired of me and move on to another woman and I’d still have to be friends with you even though I’m so in love with you.”

Javier frowns softly. “Do you really think I would?”

You shrug. “I mean… it’s kind of your track record, Javi,” you say, and he nods.

“I suppose that’s somewhat true,” he admits. “But it’s you. How could I ever change my mind about someone like you?” He asks, and you answer his question by kissing him again, deeply.

It’s pure bliss, his warm hand on your face, the other around your waist and pulling you tighter against him. You break away and your eyes hold a question. “What now?” He asks sarcastically.

You giggle. “The water is boiling,” you tell him and nod your head toward the stove.

“Oh, shit,” he nods and breaks away from you, pouring the pasta in.

You sneak up behind him again and wrap your arms around him, kissing his neck. “Javi?”

“Is this a game show? Am I being interrogated?” He chuckles lovingly.

“Jesus, you just admitted you love me and now you’re being so mean to me,” you tease. “No. Does this mean… are we a thing? Can we be in public now?”

He thinks about it for a second and nods, stirring the water. “I think we should. And I think you should stay the night, so I can finally tell you how much I love you in bed.”

You giggle softly. “I’d like that.”

In the morning, you ride to work with Javier. You straighten your blazer as you get out of the car, smiling at him and pulling your purse over your shoulder.

He looks back at you and he can’t help but smile. “Dulzura?”

“Yes, Javi?”

He walks alongside you as you head into the building. “Can you hold my hand?” He asks, grinning ear to ear.

You beam and nod, taking his hand. He opens the door and the two of you walk in together, for the first time, holding hands. You draw stares as you walk to his desk, but you don’t care. Neither does he. Both of you walk with your head held high.

Finally you see Steve and he slowly claps as the two of you approach. “Ah, I see we’re finally public,” he nods and gestures to your hands with a cigarette between two fingers.

You look at Javier in confusion, and he looks back at you with the same eyes. “I’ve known about you two this whole time,” the blonde man laughs, kicking his legs up on the desk. “How does that song go? Fooled around and fell in love,” he sings, and you laugh as you look up at Javi.

“I guess that’s our song now,” he shrugs and looks down at you.

“I guess it is,” you nod, and Javier kisses you softly.

taglist:

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#javier peña #javier peña x reader #javi peña x reader #javi peña #pedro pascal #pedro pascal fanfiction #pedro pascal x reader #jose pedro balmaceda pascal #narcos fanfic #narcos #javier peña fanfiction

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legoshi-plz · 3 years

Text

Pretenses Part Five (Louis x Reader)

Summary: Louis is a spoiled prince and you are a clumsy maid. Prince! Louis x Canine!Dog! Reader.

Warning: NSFW (+18)

Despite Louis’ outwardly composed nature, inside he was in full blown panic mode.

He had just finished up yet another uneventful dinner with his father and his future bride; now it was time to return to his chambers. His chambers he hadn’t been in since this morning. His chambers where he was currently holding you hostage.

Louis stood in front of his door for who knows how long before finally opening it with great hesitation, preparing himself for your angry, perhaps even violent response. Instead he was greeted with.... silence. You were on the bed where he’d left you, sound asleep.

Louis couldn’t help the relieved flutter of his tail at the sight of your sleeping form.

You had curled under the covers, probably to keep warm in the cold air of his chambers, your form rising and falling peacefully as you snoozed. Louis approached you slowly, checking to make sure you were actually asleep before his hands flew to throw off his royal regalia.

Once free from the confines of his complex uniform, he was under the covers immediately. Bringing your snoozing figure into his arms. You didn’t move a muscle; it was evident you were a heavy sleeper. Louis already knew this from his time watching you as you took your midday naps in his chambers but he didn’t know it was to such a great extent. He shifted so that he could lay his head on your chest, arms encircling your waist. He listened to the steady rhythm of your heartbeat, his breathing slowing down to match your own.

He was asleep in minutes.

////////

You awoke to a weight on your chest and the smell of Louis’ cologne surrounding you. When you opened your eyes, the brightness assaulted your vision, making you attempt to turn away but that attempt was futile.

The Prince, who definitely wasn’t there when you fell asleep yesterday, was laying directly on top of you with his head on your chest, arms in a deadlock around your waist. You were caged beneath him, his weight pinning you down. You contemplated screaming bloody murder, hoping you could shock him into letting you go and make a run for it but decided against it. You doubted he’d remember to lock the door behind him, that could possibly be an opportunity for you to escape. You slowly began trying to pull his long arms from you when you felt his grip tighten.

“Don’t even think about it,” Louis mumbled, nuzzling further into your neck.

“My liege, please stop this indecency. As rightful heir to the thrown, a lowly maid such as myself would only sully-

“How long did you practice that one? Is that what you were doing yesterday while I was gone? Rehearsing pleas so I’d let you go?” Louis chuckled, finally opening his eyes. Sleepy amber orbs met your own irises and you couldn’t help but notice how beautiful his brown eyes looked in the morning sun. They didn’t reflect the light but instead nearly consumed it, a complete contrast to the brown of his fur.

“You must be hungry? You haven’t eaten anything since yesterday, if that. I’ll call the kitchen and have them bring us something up. Breakfast in bed doesn’t sound too bad,” Louis bit his lip as his eyes drank in your form beneath him. He definitely looked hungry, yet for something other than food; his eyes were burning with barely contained lust.

“I-I have to go, my Prince. I have to perform my duties in the kitch-AH,” you were cut off when Louis sat up and brought you with him as he pulled you onto his lap to straddle him. You felt your fur prickle with embarrassment as you realized not only was he shirtless, but he also seemed to be only in his underwear, the dark blue embroided material providing a very thin barrier to the Prince’s most precious asset.

“What about your duties to me?” Louis hummed, rubbing his hands up and down the fur of your outter thighs. The top of your uniform was still very much ripped open, so you brought your arms up to cover yourself, the blankets you’d been curled under no longer providing you coverage.

“Ah ah ah, you should know better than to hide yourself from me,” Louis hummed, prying your arms from your chest. He leaned forward, his mouth capturing once of your hardened nipples. The feeling of his hot tongue on your sensitive peak sent a jolt of electricity through you.

“Pr-pr-princeee, pleaaaase,” you moaned lightly, your voice nothing more than a breathy whisper.

Louis ignored you, instead moving to the other peak while his hands found themselves back at your plush hips. He rocked upwards into you, his hard member making its presence know.

“Take these off,” Louis mumbled against your areola, tugging at your panties. When you hesitated, he simply sighed before ripping them off himself.

“My Pri-

“Shut up,” Louis groaned against your chest, the vibrations further stimulating your raised peak. Louis plunged his fingers into your arching cavern just as he had the day before. You felt your head swirl in embarrassment and arousal, the two emotions battling for dominance.

“Do you know how long I’ve wanted you? How long I’ve desired you?” Louis asked, his free hand coming up to cup your jaw. His eyes burned with such passion for you, it was hard to not look away.

“That’s it, ride my hand. Just like that,” Louis grunted and you hadn’t even noticed your pelvis had begun grinding into his hand to meet the thrusts of his fingers. Your body was moving completely on its own, anything to help relieve the pressure growing in your lower belly.

Suddenly, Louis ceased his movements, lifting you up slightly with one hand while he pulled his underwear down with the other. His member sprang to life, resting against his abdomen as it stood glistening with precum. Being a stag and royalty, it was natural to assume he’d be well-endowed but nothing could have prepared you for the vision that was his impressive length.

He took your hands in his own larger ones and wrapped them around his weeping shaft. He let out a soft “fuck...” as he guided your hands up and down. He let go once you found your own rhythm, no longer needing his assistance for such a simple act.

“You’re so good at this- too good, actually. Did you touch Azuki’s mutt like this? Huh?” Louis asked breathlessly, his death grip returning to your thighs.

“I already told you yesterday, we aren’t like... that...” you grumbled, swiping your fingers over his sensitive cockhead, causing a needy groan to tear from his throat.

“Then what were you two like? You were already letting that filthy mongrel close enough to scent you, it’d be nothing for you to get on your knees for him.” Louis said angrily and you suddenly remembered exactly where you were and, more importantly, who you were with.

No amount of pretty words and declarations of desire were going to keep Louis’ true nature at bay for long. He was vile and malicious at heart. You knew this. He’d proven it to you time and time again. So when was it finally going to register in your dumb little brain?

You released his cock immediately, and climbed off his lap and out of his bed. You headed straight for the door but Louis was faster, grabbing and pinning you against the very door you’d been trying to exit from.

“Why do you keep running away from me? Can’t you see what I’m trying to do here?” Louis groaned into the nape of your neck. It sent shivers down your spine and you resisted the urge to arch into him.

“You’re trying to control me, to manipulate me”

“I’m trying to love you.” Louis craned his head back to look into your eyes. He saw no warmth in them.

“You have a peculiar way of expressing your ‘love’, my lord,” you said through gritted teeth.

“Annnnd we’re back to the incorrect formalities. Every time I feel we’ve taken one step forward, you move three spaces back. Why do you insist on fighting me so? I know you feel it, I can’t be imagining this attraction between us,” Louis finished, the grip on you wrists that previously had you pinned against the door now residing so that he could caress your forearms with the pads of his thumbs.

“I fight it because I know my place. I’m a dog, your highness. Lower than any other Herbivore commoner, and amongst the unfavorable even within Carnivore spaces. Most of the animals around here think I should be banished for even working within the castle during the day, let alone catering to you.”

“Their opinions don’t matter, they have no authority here-”

“It does matter, your highness. Because once your infatuation with me ceases, which is inevitable, you will return to your fiancé, marry her, be crowned King, and produce heirs. And all I’ll have is my life as a lowly commoner. That’s the natural order of things.” You lamented, your voice feeling thick with emotion.

“So what, you believe your future is with Azuki’s guard dog? Popping out litter after litter for him until you die? That’s no way to live, he can’t commit to you. His life already belongs to another woman and that’s Azuki.”

“You don’t think I know that? I’m fully aware of the hold our future Queen has over him. I’m just grateful for every moment he chooses to share with me. Makes my life a little less lonely...,”

“I could make your life less lonely! I could do that for you, better than he ever could!” Louis was slightly begging now, he could hear it in his own voice but he was beyond the point of caring.

“Don’t you see I feel my loneliest when I’m with you? All you’ve ever made me feel was small, and stupid, and unworthy. Legoshi doesn’t point out how I misuse words just to remind me of how uneducated I am. He doesn’t point out how unrefined my taste pallet is or force me to eat food outside of the carnivore diet. He doesn’t drag me out of bed at night to look at some stupid star a million miles away on some balcony when I’m afraid of heights. He doesn’t tell me where I can and can’t go, who I can and can’t see, just because he felt like it. He doesn’t humiliate me every chance he gets! He doesn’t boss me around just because he can!” There were hot tears streaming down your face. You had been holding this in for a long time.

“I see...,” Louis said finally breaking the silence. He released you from his grasp and took a step back. He adjusted himself, tucking his forgotten member fully back into his underwear. Though he had a beautiful body envious to those of Gods, he seemed almost shy about his lack of clothing now.

He glanced at your tattered uniform before muttering a “wait here... please...”, and walking towards one of the humongous wardrobes in his room. He pulled out a pristine, new uniform and walked back over to hand it to you.

“I kept a lot of these on hand, in case you ever wanted.... a more comfortable bed to lay your head at night...” Louis’s voice had never seemed so clouded. You silently accepted the uniform.

“You have my deepest apologies for my behavior. Such veracity was never my intention. I hereby relieve you of all obligation to me. You may return to the kitchen or to the gardens or to somewhere new if you like. Whereever you choose to go is fine, I’ll notify Stallworth of my approval. I...” Louis hesitated, finally bringing his eyes up yours.

“You’re free to go.”

/////////

A/N: I finally know how I want this story to end so hopefully they’ll only be two more parts for this series and it’ll reach it’s completion! Also thank you all again for 1K!

#beastars #beastars louis #beastars louis x reader #louis x reader #louis x you #louis #beastars Louis x you

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