#*philinda mine*

[hostilepoet17]

Phil Coulson & Melinda May | For Blue Skies.

"After all the years, all the missions, all the close calls... After all that, we're still standing, the two of us."

#agents of shield #aos #philinda #coulson x may #phil coulson #melinda may #aos edit #fanvid #marvel #mcu #mine #hostilepoet17

[mx-loar-tev]

Summary: Forced to take refuge at her mother's house with the team, Melinda May has to deal with her famous mother and with her colleagues' antics, while finding the secret of healing a broken soul.

Sneak peek:

The world may have seemed to have tilt on its axis lately but Melinda May knew she could always count on her mother to have her back. Not that the older woman would be happy about it, not so soon after asking her to drive hundreds miles to pick her daughter in the middle of nowhere. But she would do it anyway. 

That's how the whole 'team Bus', as the younger agents had dubbed the remainder of the original team, was standing in Lian May's living room. Safe hideouts were still rare after the Hydra debacle. Fortunately her mother's paranoia made her house the most secure location they could reach, since the Bus had been damaged during the last mission. The plan was to regroup, make the necessary repairs and plan their next move. 

But that probably would have to wait until the rest of the team would stop looking so wide-eyed about everything in the house, her mother included. 

And her mother seemed to be the center of everyone's attention. Not only was she interesting because she was Agent Melinda May's mother—thankfully no-one was calling her the Cavalry—but also because, apparently, Agent Lian May, CIA, was a legend even outside of her own agency. 

Yes, Melinda was the Phoenix's daughter. 

She didn't know when the name had first come up, but it had stuck. However she knew why it had stuck. Agent Lian May had been famous for disappearing during risky missions, so risky she had been supposed dead many times until she would have reappeared suddenly, mostly healthy. Sometimes she would even have faked her death, leaving both her enemies and her colleagues —and even her family— certain that she had been gone for good this time. Until she would have turned up at Langley for debriefing. 

After that, it was no wonder that people had started comparing her to a mythical creature able to be reborn from its ashes, again and again. 

Fitzsimmons were babbling stories they had heard at the Academy, a wide-eyed Skye was listening with rapt attention, her mother was muttering in Mandarin about how the stories became more and more ridiculous with time, and Coulson—well, Coulson had a twinkle in his eyes that meant trouble. He waited until there was a lull in the conversation to address Lian directly. 

Melinda didn't know how her best friend could be such an incredible, talented agent and somehow would end up putting his foot in his mouth when talking to her mother. 

"You know, I'm kind of a phoenix too now."

Lian looked him up and down critically. "You look more like a zombie."

(Keep reading on ao3)

#agents of shield #aos #melinda may #phil coulson #bus kids #daisy johnson #jemma simmons #leo fitz #marvel mcu #Lian May #fanfic #aos fanfic #aos fic #ao3 fanfic #mine #My fanfic #philinda #aos season 1 #Aos season 2

[wheelsupin-five]

Throwback Thursday (Friday)!!

I was tagged by @ci5mates thank you sm !! I humbly offer part of a completed story from 2019 I believe I originally wrote for an English assignment but didn’t end up using or posting anywhere (and bc of that it doesn’t even have a title lol)

No matter how many posters were on the walls, or books were left haphazardly on the coffee table, safe houses were never homey. It was always too sterile, manufactured clutter, designed to make it look lived in. 

It was painfully quiet. The type of silence that felt dangerous to break, like someone had a gun to his head, daring him to speak. Tense, unpredictable, deadly.

He followed her closely, his footsteps uneven as a limp crept its way into his movements.

They knew where the first aid kits were kept, it was always the same regardless of where they were stationed: under the sink in the kitchens, the medicine cabinet in the bathrooms, the bedside tables in the bedroom. They were always easy to access in case of an emergency, always next to the weapons.

“Melinda,” he said, keeping his voice low, ��let me help.” His eyes flicked between her and the bench next to them.

She shook her head. “I’m fine.”

He didn’t miss the way her hands had started to shake, the pain beginning to set in as the adrenaline started to wear off. He felt it too. The way the pain had begun to shift beneath his skin, spreading out to corrupt the rest of his nerves. 

“Please?” he asked quietly, eyeing the gash that ran from her collarbone to her bicep.  

“Only if I can return the favour,” she said, her fingers grazing against his torn suit jacket. 

“It’s just a scratch.”

She rolled her eyes. “Almost a fatal one.”

It was surreal how once their injuries had healed, and scars faded, they’d forget this day. Sure, they’d remember bits and pieces—the song that played on the radio on their way to the first drop off point, or how he sent the target through the third story window—but the day would become lost on a broken timeline. Everything became another mission, another injury, another near miss. It all blurred into one.

I’m tagging @simply-the-jinx and @northern-borealis and whoever else hasnt done this but wants too !!

#reading this was so . like half of me is like at least ive imporove in xyz area but then half of me is like damn i wish i wrote like i did #in qrt sentences jskdjs #but also skimming through other wips from like 2018 like wow i really have improved huh #also yes i turned fanfics in on the regular i had zero fucks to give okay #mine #my fic #philinda #aos #my wip #marvel #throwback thursday #tag game

[apocalyptichearts]

So, hi! I hope this message finds you well!

I know you might’ve moved on from the AoS fandom, but I’ve come from your TikTok, and I love your May & Daisy edits! The fics that accompany a few of them as well are simply glorious! And the captions are mini fics in and of themselves as well so they’re lovely (if heart wrenching at times) to read, too!

I was hoping, if you wouldn’t mind, could you rec some of your favourite May & Daisy fics? Doesn’t matter whether it’s complete or how long it is :)

Thank you for your time! And for your wonderful edits and works!

Have a nice day/night!

thank you so much for your kind words anon, they really do mean a lot :))

as for maydaisy fic recs, boy do i have some for you!!

now for the sake of not making this post too long here are some of my favourite maydaisy authors:

Book_freak I don't think we can talk about maydaisy fics without mentioning them; of they're 90 or so maydaisy fics, you're bound to find your cup of tea!!

PanicMoon15 for when you need a little fluff and lightheartedness. also, they're Baby Mine, Rest Your Head Close To My Heart series? a must read, no one does AU like they do.

cassiopluto for when you want something a little darker and want to read some insanely good writing <3

daisyqiaolianmay they have so many good fics to choose from and I think I mention The Framework later in this post, but others worth checking out are A Daisy By Any Other Name  and The Parts That Make A Whole Series!!

Inkquillery i can't express in words how beautiful her writing is, all of her maydaisy fics are such joys to read <33

marvelthismarvelthat would've ended up listing all their fics in the following section so I listed them here. they write so many cool concepts it's hard to summarize them, but each and every one is incredible

agentmmayy a lot of sweet philindaisy content as well as a handful of maydaisy angst bcus sometimes that's just what you need.

here are some more specific fics that I (obviously) love:

It’s a Long Road Out to Recovery From Here by PanicMoon15 I enjoy most fics that deal with their relationship post the season 2 finale, but this one is quite something else. the writing and the themes and the characterization and just omg I cannot stress how good this fic is!!

Hold Her Close by StillTryingToWrite I'm a sucker for character studies and introspections and this one is just so beautiful.

silent secret sacred ground by Inkspinner a post-coulson's s5 death fic that is just so sweet and so gentle and I lose my cool a little whenever I think about it.

In Kasias' arena, no one wins… by Axolotl7 read this so long ago but I remember it being just jawdroppingly tragic and such a cool concept. insanely vivid writing <3

Mother’s Day/Father’s Day Series by agentquakingskye philinda becoming grandparents?? yes please. this series is so fluffy and so happy and even if you aren't into daisy x sousa, i think it's still worth reading.

Exposure by agentquakingskye now this isn't maydaisy focused, but they do have quite a few scenes and honestly, I'll take any opportunity to recommend this fic because oh my god. life-changing, I'm telling you.

and if you're into AU's that deal with baby/younger daisy some of my favs are:

from your head down to your toes (and your tiny nose) by agentmmayy of all the "daisy getting turned into a baby somehow" fics, this one is my absolute favourite. sadly I think it was discontinued but I think it's worth reading the 18 chapters posted!

Just a Walk in the Park by Bdoyle1807 I remember lovinggg the dynamic between May and (a much younger) Daisy in this and I'm pretty sure I read it in one sitting so.

The Framework by daisyqiaolianmay such an interesting take on the whole Framework stuff, I can't recommend it enough.

honestly, despite going through my bookmarks pretty meticulously, I'm probably missing some I would absolutely recommend as well, but I hope you find something you like out of the ones listed :))

#i love rambling about my favourite fics ty sm for the ask #maydaisy #fanfiction recommendation #fic rec #ask #agents of shield #melinda may #daisy johnson #mama may #marvel #aos

[hecckyeah]

Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers. Let’s spread the self-love 💗

Well hey you, thanks for this!! I never like self-promoting anything of mine, but I do carry a certain sense of accomplishment and love for my fics, and I just want people to read and enjoy them :)

So here we go!

1. Until the Night is Over

(Fandom: Agents of SHIELD)

This one is so near and dear to my heart. It was inspired by the song When the Night is Over by Lord Huron, and it’s the first and only multi-chapter fic I’ve ever completed (I’ve always been more of a one-shot gal myself). I call it a “modern day Dousy AU,” with a healthy amount of espionage, angst, mystery, and fluff. Written at the height of the Dousy craze around here, and I was so honored by all the loyal readers and even some late night idea sessions with the mutuals.

Anyway, it’s a classic and has held the number one favorite spot for a long time :)

2. the medic

(Fandom: Star Wars: The Clone Wars)

I feel like this was my first real foray off my beaten path of linear, conversational fic, if you will. It’s more poetry than anything else and it focuses on Kix, a character we don’t see much of but has a huge and very unique role in TCW. I wanted to explore the ins and outs of being a medic in the GAR, and the parallels that led to his ultimate fate. I’ve even gotten some amazing feedback from relatives of real life army medics, who say it rings true and reminds them of their veteran relatives stories, which is just a huge honor and makes me tear up a little :’)

3. but you dream of some epiphany

(Fandom: Star Wars: The Clone Wars)

Again, this one is less “traditional” and more poetic. It’s just a short take on the couple of weeks immediately following Order 66, and how Ahsoka and Rex try to find their way in this new, very hostile galaxy. Lots of emotions, PTSD, and callbacks and parallels. It’s also partly me rejecting the canon that says the two of them split up almost immediately after escaping the purge, and deciding that it’s much more likely they would stick together, at least for a little while.

4. And I Dealt My Heart

(Fandom: Agents of SHIELD)

For someone who’s never been a fan of AUs, I sure do write a lot of them for Dousy :)

This one was my knee jerk reaction to some overwhelming emotions I was feeling following a dance I went to with my family. Funny what a whirlwind of a night can make you feel in the span of 2-3 hours. I love love love country music and the culture surrounding it, and I thought what better way to put a new spin on the Blue Shirt™️ than a good old fashioned square dance? Plus, it’s such a natural foil for Daisy that it really worked, at least in my opinion. And who doesn’t love a little extra sprinkle of Philinda being pseudo parents? :)

5. can’t tell me there’s no point in trying

(Fandom: Star Wars)

This one is still in progress, so we’ll see where I land on it, but so far I have SO enjoyed the process. It was originally just a one-shot, aka me scratching the itch I have to see Ahsoka Tano and Cal Kestis interact on screen, and touching on the emotions surrounding Order 66 and the clones’ betrayal and how Cal would react to a de-chipped Rex. Now it’s gone much further to my own delight, and I get to explore things like Cody and the Bad Batch and even Cal’s biological family. I really love it so far and I’m excited about where it’s headed :)

A couple honorable mentions because I’m indecisive:

The One With the Second Chance - (Friends; Joey/Rachel)

when the smoke clears (i’ll be right here) - (AOS; Dousy)

#thanks for the ask!! #fanfic #writing #my stuff

[reviiely]

I wrote a Philinda fic, it’s linked here on Wattpad and Ao3 :)

Enjoy!

#marvel #marvel mcu #aos #agents of s.h.i.e.l.d. #philinda #phil coulson #melinda may #Skye #daisy johnson #quake #Mayson #found family #marvel fanfics

[crowley-anthony]

laura’s 10k celebration (top 30 ships as voted by my followers) ✵ 20 ➳ phil coulson & melinda may

↳ "I didn't do it for Fury. I did it for you. To protect you. You mean a lot to me. A lot.”

#aosedit #philinda #agents of shield #philindaedit #philcoulsonedit #phil coulson #melindamayedit #melinda may #10k celebration #mine*

[zoreldanvers]

get to know me meme → (4/10) ships    phil coulson & melinda may

#aosedit #agents of shield #philindaedit #philinda #phil coulson #melinda may #mommy and daddy #gtkm #mine*

[dragcnbreak]

do you guys think coulson and may have matching shirts that say this

#what if spoilers #what if #marvel #mcu #marvel cinematic universe #philinda #phil coulson #philip coulson #melinda may #the cavalry #agents of shield #netflix #thor #image #mine

[anthonybrxdgerton]

But I didn’t do it for Fury, I did it for you, to protect you, I- You mean a lot to me. A lot.

agents of shield appreciation week 2021 || day 4: favorite underrated quote / scene

#aosedit #aosaw21 #melindamayedit #philcoulsonedit #philindaedit #marvellegends #mcudaily #dailymcu #theavenegrs #mcufam #mcusource #usersource #dailymarvelheroes #marvelheroes #mine #aos #aos 1x17 #phil coulson #melinda may #philinda #200

[bunnykaye]

Happy Valentine's Day! (February 14)

#aosedit #agents of shield #philinda #huntingbird #fitzsimmons #mackelena #dousy #aosblog #aosdaily #agentsdaily #userjemma #jemmablossom #useryoumna #*mine* #bunnykaye #bkaosholidays

[blazethecheeto]

Things AoS Characters Absolutely Have Said

Deke: Can I ask a dumb question?

Fitz: Better than you know-

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Davis: I'm not that stupid!

Daisy: Davis, you literally ate the wax from a babybel.

Davis: PIPER TOLD ME IT WAS EDIBLE!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Coulson: I wasn’t that drunk.

May: You colored my face with a highlighter because you said I was important.

Coulson: BECAUSE YOU ARE!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Coulson: Knowledge is knowing that a tomato is a fruit, and wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

Mack: That's deep.

YoYo: So that means ketchup is is technically a smoothie.

Mack: That's deeper.

Simmons: ... You guys are idiots.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

May: Stressed

Daisy: Depressed.

Coulson: Possessed.

Fitz: Obsessed.

Mack: Impressed.

Deke: Chicken breast.

Everyone:

Deke: I just wanted to join in.

#Deke my beloved idiot #its been a while since I did this #my incorrect quotes #aos incorrect quotes #agents of s.h.i.e.l.d. #aos #phil coulson #melinda may #daisy johnson #leopold fitz #deke shaw #philinda #fitzsimmons #yoyo rodriguez #mine

[2minutes2midnight]

Philinda + Shield Academy 🥰

For @primrosesjemma 🥰

#agents of shield #Philinda #phil coulson #melinda may #moodboard #zuza’s moodboards #*philinda mine* #🥰

[daisymayjohnson]

Jemma: You know, according to Schrödinger, anything you put in a box is both dead AND alive.

Everyone else at Coulson’s funeral, looking at the coffin:

#agents of shield #aos #daisy johnson #agents of s.h.i.e.l.d. #melinda may #agents of shield fanfic #phil coulson #philinda #aosedit #jemma simmons #aos incorrect quotes #incorrect aos quotes #el: textpost #el: mine

[ducktaleswoo-oo]

They actually went and put him in the vents this time.

#agents of shield #among us #aos #phil coulson #daisy johnson #melinda may #grant ward #leopold fitz #jemma simmons #clark gregg #ming-na wen #brett Dalton #iain de caestecker #Elizabeth henstridge #fitzsimmons #philinda #marvel #skyeward #koenig #mine #agent koenig #aos s1 #chloe bennet

[shadowayne-deactivated]

dancing with your ghost

Melinda stands in the open doorway, a duffle bag slung over her shoulder with nothing in it but a collection of Polaroids, a ring, and his shirt.

Artificial light filters into the room from the hallway, bathing what is in the doorway’s path with a dim yellow light. The unmade bed is illuminated, untouched since she left a week ago.

It has been two seconds and also three months since she’s been gone, yet she knows she’s aged a hundred years.

Melinda’s exhausted, but she can’t curl up into the sheets, achingly alone, laying in cold sheets without the sound of his weak breathing in and out next to her. Not without his hand gently held in hers, fingers twitching occasionally.

She hasn’t slept in weeks. She spent every second listening to his heart beat and falter and beat and falter and beat, until it didn’t do anything at all.

The idea of laying in bed with no soft, strenuous beating under her hand- it feels more vast and empty than even the nights she spent in the tiny apartment after Bahrain; ghosts and guilt and hate replacing the spot where Andrew used to lie next to her.

Melinda closes the door behind her, the door that separates her and her ghosts from everyone else.

She has thousands of ghosts haunting her, but none of them are Phil.

The room is pitch black, but she doesn’t turn on the light. She lets it sit, the inky darkness swirling around and seeping into her body as she closes her eyes and breathes in deep, faltering slightly when the memory of his bloodshot eyes and rapid loss of speech float through her mind.

She uses vague muscle memory to light the same, unscented candle that has been sitting on her small desk since early in their time in the Lighthouse. Daisy found a short break day to deliver them each a small gift soon after they returned from the future.

Daisy’s gift for Coulson was a boy hula dancer, to match the other one sitting in a storage building with Lola. Daisy joked about finally being allowed to drive the precious car, and Coulson just shrugged with a small smile and an odd look on his face.

Now Melinda knows what the look meant. He already knew, even then.

She drops the bag on the cement floor and it lands with a hollow thunk. She pops open the bottle of beer that was pressed gently into her hands when she stood in the center of the common room on shaky legs barely holding her up as Daisy clutched her. She didn’t cry, just held on tight like Melinda would blow away.

Maybe she will.

Her stomach is full of rocks and she sits down on the chair next to her desk, gripping the back of the chair with her free hand, looking down at the ground because she can’t see her room without being hit with a memory of him.

Everything has Phil in it.

He is in Daisy’s earnest face. He is in the maroon couch where he explained to the team that he was leaving for good. He is in the small collection of cooking utensils hung on the wall in the cafeteria area from when he insisted to cook them a meal at least once every couple of days for morale, even when the world was falling apart around them.

Now she knows, can see what he was doing. He was trying to hold onto something he loved to do because he knew he was running out of time. He knew, so he tried to spend that time with them while he could.

Once, Daisy and Jemma joined him. The three tried making lasagna but it was mainly Phil cooking while Daisy and Jemma ate the ingredients and messed with him. They were going through their own personal hells, yet they were smiling and giggling, the unfamiliar sound of joy ringing through the lighthouse and lifting the mood of the entire base.

It was one of the only times she saw him smile recently, before Tahiti.

He smiled a lot in Tahiti, at least when he was awake.

Melinda still marveled. He smiled until the end. He smiled when she talked, when she laughed, when she brushed soft kisses to his lips as she cradled his head when he couldn’t stand anymore.

She asked how he could smile when he about to see nothing ever again. Be nothing.

“I won’t be nothing, Lin,” he replied. “I’ll be your memories of me. And I smile because I see your love, for me and for Daisy and for the team, and I know that you will live. And that’s all that matters.”

He said it so simply, so matter of factly.

Melinda wonders if he’d be smiling if he would know she can’t live without him. Won’t.

She’s nothing without him, nothing without her better half holding her away from the edge of the pit of mania and darkness and sickness, the kind that creeps over your mind so quickly that you don’t notice it until you’re gone.

Without him, she is silently drowning, thousands of hands grabbing at her skin and ears and eyes, rough, unlike his careful caresses.

Without him, she is dying.

Melinda takes another sip of the beer and rests her forehead on her desk, for the first time noticing the sheen of sweat that is sticking some of her hair to her face.

There aren’t five stages of grief. Whoever came up with that was wrong.

Everyone experiences loss differently, but the one thing that stays the same for every person is that the loss never leaves. It stays heavy inside a person, creating a chasm of emptiness. Every new loss adds to it, making it deeper and wider until there is more emptiness than there is human.

Melinda is nothing but empty.

They danced together, before he was barely able to tell her he loved her.

The radio was playing faint tunes as he sat at the dining table, reading a book. (Not Ulysses. They didn’t have enough time to get it for him.) He had a cannula running up around his ears and tucked inside his nose, trying to feed to him the oxygen he fought every day for.

A song came on that Melinda recognized. It had played at her 19th birthday, her first one celebrated at the academy. Phil had dragged her out to a club near the base, and slow songs had played over the speakers as he got her a sundae and offered to pay but she refused to let him.

The lyrics played, but she didn’t pay attention to what they said, not back then.

Oceans apart day after day

And I slowly go insane

Phil, with his endless energy, had bounded up and held out his hand. “Dance with me, Cadet May?” he had asked in a teasing tone.

She’d grinned. “Sure, Cadet Coulson. Show me your moves.”

If I see you next to never

How can we say forever

In Tahiti he’d gotten up, less energy than even a few weeks before, and held out his hand to her, his giddy smile exactly the same as thirty years ago in that club, somehow untouched by time. “Cadet May?” he prompted.

She suppressed a grin. (She wishes she hadn’t. She wishes she let herself be free with him, be happy without any boundaries, but she still wouldn’t, couldn’t.) She took his outstretched hand and got up.

Wherever you go

Whatever you do

I will be right here waiting for you

They stood together, her mostly supporting him, and they were barely moving, simply swaying, but Melinda was looking in his bright blue eyes that were getting hazier by the hour and felt like she was back in their undercover missions, getting spun around and twirled so quickly she was lighter than air.

Whatever it takes

Or how my heart breaks

I will be right here waiting for you

The song ended, and Melinda was brought back to the present, where the sun was setting and Phil was sagging in her arms. She murmured that he needed to sleep, and helped him into their bed.

He didn’t get up again.

Waiting for you

The whole time they were in the magical place, he promised her that the pain was bearable, but when her back was turned he’d grimace and make fists so tight his knuckles would turn white.

He’d never been good at hiding things from her.

He hid the scar tearing through his soul, though, for months. Maybe she couldn’t read him as well as she always thought she could.

The middle of their first night he woke up still half asleep, crying that he didn’t want to die. The opposite of seven years ago, when he’d pleaded with Fury to let him.

She held him, softly kissing him on the head as she soothed him back to sleep, his head on her thigh as she sat against the backboard of the bed.

“I don’t want to die either,” she whispered in the dead of night, after he’d fallen asleep and couldn’t hear her anymore. After nobody could hear her anymore.

waiting

“I will love you for the rest of time,” he always said. “You won’t hear it, you won’t see it, but you will feel it, and you will know.”

She remembers his words, but she’s sitting alone in a tiny room lit by a scented candle and the alcohol in her throat doesn’t burn enough to abate the emptiness.

She isn’t angry anymore. Or sad, or upset, or even scared.

She isn’t anything at all.

“You will feel my love, even when I’m gone,” he said.

Melinda sits and she drinks until the bottle is empty and the wick of the candle burns down into the molten wax and extinguishes the flame, leaving her in the dark black well of grief.

“You will feel my love,” he said.

And she doesn’t say out loud what she knows deep down.

Because the darkness already knows too; knows because of the glistening tracks on her cheeks and the empty bottle clutched tightly in her hand, soon to be replaced by another.

She doesn’t feel it.

And she’s not waiting anymore.

#daisy johnson #Melinda May #phil coulson #philinda #philinda fic #aos #aos fic #agents of s.h.i.e.l.d #mine #my fics #angst #angst fic