#-what i'm saying is somebody fucking stop me omfg-

[ressariot]

in a servere case of ADHD brain I'm considering to start playing Tales of Vesperia finally

#sukie talks #-i have a playthrough to finish of each da game- #-p3 is also tempting me- #-i keep thinking it's finally time to play both p2 games- #-i reinstalled the stanley parable yesterday which made me miss the beginner's guide- #-i've picked up unravle again after years though i'm stuck at the moment- #-sometimes i think about touching my second fe16 playthrough- #-technically i still have nier replicant to finish and i thought about replaying automata- #-what i'm saying is somebody fucking stop me omfg-

[vulqan]

double life ep 5 (Etho & Budubs' viewpoints) reaction under the cut

Etho's video:

thinking about the spoilers i saw on reddit & the conversation about raiding the chicken farm. I Am Coming To Conclusions. i don't know if they're right and i Don't Care.

"i think we call Cleo!" "why Cleo?" "i don't know...you don't mess with Cleo!" baby. baby boy.

bloodthirsty Joel best Joel

i love Etho counting down the exploding jellies in the chat for the world to see. luv him <3

them walking around just looting and burning shit........i love them

"we could put a pile of TNT on the map and see if somebody walks up to it" Etho pls 💀

"enderpearl, TNT, enderpearl out" i am OBSESSED WITH HIM!!!!!

MARTYN ANNOUNCING TO A GROUP OF REDS WHILE TALKING TO GRIAN THAT HE'S A YELLOW NAME 😭 and then bdubs being like "...that's right 😈 i forgot" BAHAHA

"you guys are trapped, you know. there's no way out of this situation." spoilers mean i'm pretty sure there's a way out but i love this line with my whole Hort and Sole

I'M CACKLING THIS WHOLE HUNT WAS FOR THEM AND SCAR DIES TO A ZOMBIE???? HOWLINGGGG

omfg the zombies were Ren & Big B's???? BRUH LMAO

THAT'S HOW THEY DIE??????? MOBS ARE DOING MORE WORK THAN THE RAIDERS ARE RN NFNXJDJDJD

everybody IMMEDIATELY excited abt the pile of TNT lmfaooo

IT ACTUALLY WORKED I'M FUCKING PISSIBG MYSELF DJXNDJDNFJJF

SCIBBIES R BACK 😍🥰💖💜✨🎉

"we can kill Grian too to deal with [Scar]!" "just do it 😩" hELP

Etho sounding like a jealous ex talking to Bdubs about his relationship with Impulse this season is SENDING me

"i can't believe they burnt it down, we were gone for two seconds 😭" bestie you built your house out of flammable material aGAIN, please,,,

"the ship burns, everything burns" Having Feelings rn

WAIT HOW DID THAT HAPPEN GRIAN WHAT DID YOU DO

(Grian screaming in surprise that his trap worked is killing me lmfaooo)

dead people talking in chat 🧐🧐🧐 what is "the mole"

Scar looking Directly at Etho as he says that he smells the enchanter on someone there 💀

"HE'S got the enchanter in his hand! 😡 oh my god, i just stabbed the monitor with my finger—" SCAR PLEASE

this was an excellent episode 10/10 would watch Etho & Joel burn down the whole world again

Bdubs' video:

"when he goes red, he gets feral. you need to get one of those kiddie leashes on him." "OH STOP IT 😡" "i'ma let him do his thing 😌" perfect husband Impulse at it again 😩

WHY ARE YOU MALIGNING ETHO TO EVERYONE AROUND BDOUBLEO100 I WILL FIGHT YOU WITH MY TINY FISTS RED LIFE OR NOT

[muffled] "Jellie, just a moment, i'm negotiating with terrible people" god i love him

it's Very funny to me how Impulse starts setting up a trap at the front door of the midcentury modern house & Bdubs immediately announces it to all and sundry so its value is totally ruined now LMFAO

"...aaaaaany second now" pls not that being your plan lmfaoooo

"YES WE UNDERSTAND THE MECHANICS ETHO FOR GOODNESS SAKES 😡😡" STOP BEING MEAN TO YOUR EX BDUBS

MAN THAT TRAP KILL WOULD'VE BEEN SO FUNNY

man i LOVE hearing Grian's scream cut off as he dies lmfaoooooo

Budbs being more excited about the half stack of sand than he is about the diamond chest lol

i have watched the 100hrs series since watching episode four so Jimmy dying first is INFINITELY funnier now

voice activated TNT Minecraft traps are literally the funniest thing in the world, oh my GOD?

omg hi Pearl i haven't seen u all season

Bdubs why would you SHOOT AT HER I SWEAR

BUBBLES WHY ARE YOU RATTING OUT ETHO THIS WHOLE EPISODE I SWEAR TO FUCKING GOD 😭

"i was telling him Scott had it" oh WERE YOU

"i was with him last season 🙄" SCREAM LMAO

REN & BIGB ALMOST DIED TO THE HOUSE AND THEN DIED TO A STALACTITE ANYWAY I'M FUCKING DYING

PLS PEARL SETTING OFF THE TRAP BUT SURVIVING they absolutely just made an enemy

Grian's "i've been through a lot today" with an arrow in his face 💀 poor little lad

hello ad read laying down on a couch 👀 👀 👀

side note, it's still so weird hearing his sarcastic lil voice come out of that face lmao

MAN THOSE WERE EVENTFUL AS SHIT.

#double life spoilers #stoplight smp #txt #mcyt #* #synnie's watching mcyt again

[muzanswaifu]

Hey!!! I love ur writing can you make a story about reader and RENGOKU in an argument? And can you make things end well ? Thank you!!

Oooooooo HAHAHAHAHA yes 🙂

I loooooove arguments in fics, it's like rough smut but with words 😻 me-ow

Many of my future rengoku fucs, oop i mean fics 😈, are going to have arguments but here's a lil one I wrote bc I just thought of it right now!

Tip for lovers out there: apologizing is so sexy omfg like it's so hot 🔥 🥵 getting apologized to is a secret form of foreplay that nobody talks about

Rengoku x Fem!Reader - Argument

Tags: Arguing, slight angst, mean things are said, kyo is so fucking dumb, mentions of sex but no actual smut, apologies, argument aftercare

Kyojuro is an idiot and can’t see that his coworker is flirting with him, reader tries to tell him and argument ensues

-

-

-

Tired. Upset. You're tired and upset but that's not going to stop you from getting your hurt words across.

"That's not the point, Kyojuro!"

"Then what is the point?!" He says back frustrated with eyes tense and arms thrown in the air.

"The point is that she shouldn't be touching you at all!"

Touch. Touch that you catch in the corner of your eye on your lover's arm at his office's party. Touch that was initiated by a flirty coworker who'd been eyeing the blond all night like a piece of meat. Touch that he didn’t pull away from.

"It meant nothing!" He defended. Why? Why was he defending her?

"It. Doesn't. Have. To." You hiss out through gritted teeth and clenched fists. He wasn't listening. He never does when you voice a concern over one's questionable intentions. Because God forbid somebody try to flirt with him knowing he's taken. Because everyone's a saint, right? That's what he believes.

His hands drag up his face as he pushes back his hairline, revealing several ticked veins.

"What do you want me to do then?" He shrugs his shoulders. It's supposed to be a question, but you can tell he meant it rhetorical. He didn't see a solution to this problem that didn't exist to him. You answered it as a question anyway.

"Tell her to fucking back off and stop touching you!" He doesn't even consider it for one moment.

"No."

No. No? No?! So he wanted that bitch to keep feeling him up when he went to work everyday knowing he had a goddamn woman to go home to? All he had to do was remind her he was taken. That's all. He didn't need to embarrass her or tell everyone she was a homewrecking slut. He just needed to say, "Hey, I'm uncomfortable with this. Please stop." But clearly that was too much for him.

You turned away from him and started giggling. That little chortle you did when you were met with an immovable force. Your coping mechanism when you stumbled upon something hopeless to overcome, it seemed.

He furrowed at your display of run sanity and continued.

"It was just my arm! Touch is her love language."

You spun back around with crossed arms and a manic smile. "Oh~ so you know her love language? Well, be sure to send me an invite to the goddamn wedding!" You screamed and his teeth snarled.

"Don't raise your voice with me." And you laughed again. It was getting on his nerves.

"Are you sure I'm raising my voice? With your logic this could just be the way I fucking sound." And your cursing was getting on his nerves too. Your language and your loudness.

"Why can't you trust me? You act like I'll betray you the moment I get the chance." That's not true. You did trust him. You didn't trust her. You trusted him, but you were also protective. Why would you openly allow another woman to flirt with him? How inadequate would that make you?

"Kyojuro," you calmed yourself by taking a deep breath and pinching your fingers together. "She is flirting with you. You don't see it for some reason, but she is."

He rolled his eyes and you wanted to scream again.

"You were right next to me the whole time! Why would she flirt right in front of you - she's not stupid!" Your eye twitched, but you decided to ignore that last bit for your own sanity. How the fuck did he know how smart she was? Did he like that about her?

"Yeah- and how many times did she ask who I was?" You got him good with that one, and he stood there for a moment, trying to find yet another excuse for this woman he seemed so fond of.

"She's forgetful." Forgetful. Not she forgot or couldn't remember. She's forgetful. Like that's some trait he termed for her after getting to know her for a while. She's forgetful. And he's clearly interacted with her enough to know that.

You rubbed at your eyes and turned around again, trying so desperately to stop the tears that were beginning to coat your eyes. No crying. If he saw you cry, he would try to console you, and you didn't want to be anywhere near him at the moment. "You know what? I'm done arguing with you. You just don't understand." And you headed toward your bedroom.

And he knew that meant he was to sleep on the couch tonight. Because you couldn't handle a serious conversation as much as you couldn't handle someone's hand on his arm. His fist clenched, and he viciously pointed at you.

"Maybe I would if you'd actually talk to me and stop being a fucking bitch." You stopped in your tracks, eyes wide. He never cursed. Or, well, he did, but that was only when he was really serious or during sex. And this wasn't for sex, so that meant he was serious. Deadly. And he called you a fucking bitch. A. Fucking. Bitch.

When you turned back to back to him, you didn't bother wiping the hot tears that coated your cheeks as you furiously snapped at him.

"Yeah?! Well why don't go to that other fucking bitch, huh?! I'm sure she'd love to fucking talk to you since you guys are so close," you yelled with searing tears leaking down your red-hot face. "In fact, why don't you spend the night with her! Sleep with her for all I care! I'm sure it'll mean nothing, right?!" You didn't bother waiting for an answer before you stormed into your room and slammed the door.

Kyojuro was at a loss for words. And emotions. He was angry, sad, frustrated, confused. His outburst had been completely warranted, he told himself as he sat on the couch to calm. You cursed and yelled at him first. Given, you hadn't called him any cruel names, but still... your language. Your foul language was something you often used, whether happy sad or angry. He'd previously mused to himself that it was because such a adorable woman like yourself couldn't properly explain your excitement without throwing the word fuck in front of it. He simply didn't like using the language in his own dialect, but he thought it suited you. Only in times of great distress and great pleasure had he allowed you to hear his bad tongue. It was to show passion and meaning. And he used it to call you a horrible name. No, no, that unforgivable deed wasn't warranted at all.

It's just... why didn't you trust him?! He wouldn't cheat on you for anything in the world, nor would he lust for such a woman so unlike yourself. Didn't you see how annoying he found her? His formal conversation was just that. Formal. Her high voice and need for attention were not something he looked forward to throughout the day. But who was he to judge? That was just her character.

"Oops, I forgot my pen Kyo, can I borrow one of yours? Thank you! I owe you one~"

"Ugh, working is so hard, I don't know how you do it so well! We should go hide in the storage closet, haha."

"Can you give me a ride home? My ride totally ditched on me, and I don't want to walk home all by myself..."

And he did give her a ride home - it was the nice thing to do. And she quickly invited him inside to "hangout for a bit." He denied innocently, explaining that you, his girlfriend, were expecting him home soon. And the girl pouted. What would have happened if he'd gone inside? He remembered the hint of sadness that edged at your expression when he told you the good deed he had done. He was hoping for praise, that you'd admire your generous lover. But you gave a fake smile a quick "great."

He'd had some semblance that you were jealous, but he'd never comforted you about it, so sure that you'd see how innocent her intentions were. Tonight wasn't a great example, but he was sure you'd made a lasting impression on her. She wouldn't forget something so vital when you were all he talked about.

As if on cue, his phone rang. He hesitantly picked it up and cringed at the messenger. Her. Another mistake he made that annoyed him through the day - he gave her his number.

Flirty bitch:

Hey Kyo~ where did u go??? m totally having an after party for drinks at my place and u neeeed to cummmm 💕💕💕

Oops, I mean come hehe 😹

He frowned at such an inappropriate mistake but replied.

I will not attend. I am spending time with my girlfriend.

Her reply came instantaneously

Flirty bitch:

U have a gf?? Omg I didnt evn kno, I have to meet her. Is she-

He didn't even finish reading the message before he threw his phone across the sofa and rubbed at his eyes. He was a fucking idiot. Here he was vouching for her good character when she couldn't even remember you existed. Much less your name. Fuck.

And here he was texting her when you were weeping alone because of his damned actions!

He got up and went to the bedroom door, turning the nob cautiously. His eyes were instantly met with the sight of your balled up form, and ears the sound of your sniffling whimpers. You quickly hushed up when he entered and pulled the covers over yourself. His heart shattered.

"Y/n?"

You didn't answer, and he walked closer to sit on the edge of the bed.

"Y/n-" He set a hand gently on your back, and you jerked away from his touch. He heard you take in a shaky breath.

"G-g-go aw-w-way," you stuttered with lips coated in your salty tears. Kyojuro laid behind you and wrapped his arms around your blanketed form.

"Y/n... I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said such awful things to you. None of them were true." You sniffled again and squirmed away from his hold. Your throat was a bit cleared as you gathered your resolve.

"Y-you're h-horrible," you whimpered out with a cracked voice. He pulled you back into his arms and nuzzled into you, his own glaze of tears coating his eyes.

"I... I deserve that." His large hands kept your cold and hurt body warm. "You were right about everything... I should have listened." With his confession, you let go of your grip on the covers, and he took that as his cue to start unraveling them and turn you over. Your poor little face was so red and wet from all the tears you spilt. Your lips looked dry and swollen from the huge loss of liquid in your body. God, he was a fucking monster for making you look so broken.

He wiped at the drops that soaked your face and pressed tender kisses all over.

"I'm so damn stupid; I couldn't even see it. I'm sorry for making you worry, my love. For being so disloyal to you." He pressed a kiss to your nose. But he wasn't disloyal. You knew that. He was damn stupid, but he wasn't disloyal. You shouldn't have accused him of such. But sometimes... you just felt like you weren't enough for him.

Your shoulders shook as another sob was wretched from your body. "Yo-ou we-re s-so m-m-me-ean to m-me, a-and y-ou i-ignor-d me," you bawled. He nodded his head along with your words to show his understanding. "A-and y-you called me a-a-" He held your face in his hands and pulled your close to rest his forehead on yours.

"I-I know, I know. That was terrible of me, and I will never, ever do such a thing ever again. I don't deserve such a beautiful, kind woman like you," he pleaded as he kissed the inside of your palm.

"You're so smart and perfect. I thought you knew this and would never question my complete obsession with you. I'm yours, goddess. Always." Another kiss.

He thumbed away more tears from your soaked lashes, and you opened you eyes. His vermillion gaze caught yours, filled with pure love and regret.

"Can you ever forgive me, goddess?" Your lip quivered and you looked away, unsure.

"I-I don't know..." another tear feel down your cheek and he brushed it away.

He hushed your weeping. "I'll do whatever it takes and wait however long. I'm yours." He fluttered kisses on your cheeks, and you couldn't help but laugh. He relished your smile.

Kyojuro brushed your hair with his fingers as your fell asleep against his chest. The next morning you both slept in, but he awoke you with breakfast in bed. You ate what you could, stomach still soured from last night. But he coddled you all day, kissing on you, complimenting you, feeding you. The topic of sex wasn't even brought up as he massaged you in bed that night, palms rubbing your aching muscles and worshipping you, his "goddess." You saw him take pause for a moment, a ring tone coming from his phone. You saw him promptly reach for it in the corner of your eye, heart hurting when you saw her name on the screen. But just as quickly, you saw him deny the call, click the contact, and hit "block." You sighed and relaxed into his arms.

Maybe forgiveness would come easier than you thought.

#demon slayer #demon slayer smut #kimetsu no yaiba #kimetsu no yaiba smut #rengoku kyojuro #rengoku kyoujurou x reader #rengoku x reader #kny rengoku #rengoku #rengoku x y/n #rengoku kyōjurō #kimetsu rengoku #kyojuro rengoku #kyojuro x y/n #demon slayer kyojuro #kyojuro rengoku x reader #kny kyojuro #kyojuro angst #kyojuro smut #kyojurou

[phersphantum]

Finished editing

Requested: Yes

Fluff

Reader chilling with Denki

Denki notices some hickeys and wants to find out who he's fucking

Quirk: idk choose sum idc 🤷🏾

⚠️Warnings⚠️: Suggestive themes 😏, some cursing, doesn't follow the plot of the show

𓆉𓆉𓆉

You were chillin with Denki in his dorm. While you both were laughing up a storm playing Mario cart. Your sweater you were wearing started to slip down your shoulder.

Denki then let out a gasp, "BRO WTF ARE THOSE MARKS ON YOU?!!" Denki was confused for a second and then he slowly started realizing what the marks were. "OMFG YOU ARE FUCKIN SOMEBODY!!! WAIT SOMEBODY IS FUCKIN YOUUUU YOOO WHO IS ITTTTT??????"

You looked away embarrassed "Calm down bro. Yes I am dating someone but I am not telling you who it is." Denki being understanding stopped talking about it but it didn't stop him from guessing and pointing at people when they were out and about.

You and Bakugou were chilling in the living room when Denki came down. He comes over to talk to you and Bakugou rolls his eyes not paying attention to your conversation. He wasn't paying attention until Denki said one phrase that made him turn around.

"Soooooo is it an older guy you're fucking? Orrrr..." Bakugou at this point couldn't hear anything else but ringing in his ears. His face started getting hot and his hands unknowingly started popping.

You were trying to brush Denki off saying you wouldn't tell him. But before he could say anymore Bakugou grabbed your (s/t) arm and pulled you up the stairs to his dorm.

You were super confused and as soon as you both got into the angry Pomeranians' room you questioned him, "Ok love you babe but wtf?! I was in the middle of a conversation and your hands are really hot so I got burned..."

Bakugou looked away ashamed "I'm sorry it's just he was asking you about who you fuck.... why didn't you say something? Also how did he even figure out that you where with someone?"

You rolled your eyes, "Well dumb ass someone decided that they would love to mark their territory more than fucking normal. And he saw the marks dummy!"

Bakugo looked away blushing "well that ain't my fault that you make me feel things you stupid extra Tch" Bakugou looked at you dead in the face at that point, "I want to tell people about us." He looked completely serious

You seemed skeptical "Are you sure sparky? We don't have to-"

Bakugou cut you off yelling "I WANT EVERYONE YO KNOW YOU'RE MINE AND NOT FEEL LIKE I NEED TO HIDE IT!"

You smiled softly, "well then my luv we can do that" you cupped bakus cheeks and captures his lips in a passionate kiss.

𓆉𓆉𓆉

Sup crew annons and all this was pretty fun to make lmk if I should make a part 2

Don’t be scared to request I’m a pretty nice guy ☺️

#mha #mha x male reader #denki kaminari #bakugou #bakugou x male reader

[starglitterz]

hi!! what song lyric(s) do you relate to the most? :))

MUAHAHAHA YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT YOU HAVE UNLEASHED BY ASKING ME THIS >:DDDD /j

utc bc it got long & also emo HAHAHKJADSKJD

i watch the moon, let it run my mood, can't stop thinking of you.

tek it - cafune (honestly i can relate to the entire song tho 😭)

oh, i'm looking for affection in all the wrong places. and we'll keep falling on each other to fill the empty spaces.

affection - between friends

i want something more than, more than restless mornings.

fever dream - mxmtoon

primadonna girl, yeah, all i ever wanted was the world, can't help that i need it all, the primadonna life the rise & fall. you say that i'm kinda difficult, but it's always someone else's fault.

primadonna girl - marina

your heart was glass, i dropped it. // she would have made such a lovely bride, what a shame she's fucked in the head.

champagne problems - taylor swift

you're invited to my pity party, you'll see me smile but i won't be happy. losing tears here for everybody, 'cause feeling sorry is my favourite hobby.

pity party - lovelytheband (I LOVE THEM omfg)

got no, got no respect for myself, i should be happy but i'm not.

i should be happy - lovelytheband

baby nothing comes for free, they say i'm a control freak, driven by a greed to succeed. // 'cause it's my problem if i feel the need to hide & it's my problem if i have no friends and feel i want to die.

are you satisfied? - marina

where's my fucking teenage dream? someone tells me one more time 'enjoy your youth' i'm gonna cry. // i feel like no one wants me and i hate the way i'm perceived. // cause i love people i don't like... and i'm not cool & i'm not smart

brutal - olivia rodrigo (entire song again 😍)

and i don't want your pity, i just want somebody near me.

nobody - mitski

i reach for me, but i'm not there, it's so lonely but who cares? it's fine, it's okay, i'll die anyway.

i'll die anyway - girl in red

i stay up all night wondering why i'm so tired all the time.

summer depression - girl in red (entire song... LOL)

too lazy to search up tls but a few jp songs i relate to the entirety of are;

君わできない子　- kikuo

愛して愛して愛して　- kikuo

ハルノ寂寞　- inabakumori

ty for the qs ! sorry it got super long </3

#📧 — mail ! #anon💌 #💟 — faves !

[atozfic]

Love when people reveal themselves as being so obviously online and insulated in leftist/progressive circles that they seem to forget that the rest of the world is not nearly as accepting or supportive of not conforming of gender roles as these spaces are. Like when did you say the reason anyone likes femsub or the reason it's popular at all is because they're young or don't know anything about sex? To me it's pretty clear you were talking about it as a larger trend and why it's so much popular than everything else overall. And to be completely frank, what is the reason femsub is so much popular than anything else OVERALL (not why any individual person likes it or it has any kind of appeal), if not gender roles? Are women just naturally more submissive than men (not saying you think this)? Because I have seen people say this, yes even so-called "feminist" men and women, that my preferences are unnatural because men evolved to be sexually dominant and women evolved to be sexually submissive, and that I'll never be in a happy or satisfying relationship unless I make myself more submissive and change my preferences because men just naturally don't like dominant women. I'm pretty sure you would not like if I took those hurtful and negative experiences and said any woman is submissive is that way is because they're misogynists who just think it's all women's nature to be submissive. And I'm pretty sure of this cause of the way that you freaked out when you even THOUGHT somebody might be implying that when they weren't. So why the fuck is it okay for you to say dom women are the way that we are because we think we're "enlightened" or more strong or better than everyone else and only like what we like because we want to be ~not like other girls~ for attention because of your negative experiences? And I like how they only talk about submissive or vanilla women getting shamed, so true bestie, dom type women, sexually or otherwise, never get shamed for their preferences. Nope, never ever. It's not like people always joke about women "wearing the pants" in the relationship and how it means she doesn't respect her partner. It's not like assertive or aggressive women are called a "bitch" but when men act that way it's sexy. It's not like religion teaches women they have to submit to men or no man will ever love them or they'll never be happy. It's not like people say that women that want to be dominant are "acting like men" or "want to be men" and therefore are unattractive, as if dominance is inherently masculine thing. It's not like a lot of men genuinely believe that all/most women want to be dominated in bed and so they don't even have to ask, they just do things to you and try to dominate you without your permission or consent or without ever having talked about that kind of thing before. Nope, we must have it sooo easy because we've got grrrrllll powerrr on our side, all women love us cause they think we're such cool independent and empowered women, and all men love us cause they think we're just so cool and not like the other girls. Like honestly, I don't assume to know what they experience of submissive women is like or that they must have it so easy because they're preferences are in line with gender roles, because I'm not one and i know they don't always have it easy because I've heard of women in the irl bdsm community being treated badly by shitty men who think it's okay to abuse them or do whatever they want to them because they're sub identified (or sometimes just because they're women). So why is it okay for you to assume what are experience is like?

I'm not involved in any real life bdsm community because corona and I'm anti-social bitch but I do like to lurk on online communities for fun (something I should probably stop doing cause it's not good for my mento health luv lmao). This whole thing reminds me of these weird ass screeds I sometimes come across by straight male doms on reddit where they go on and on trying to reconcile their desires with feminist politics either because a) they're genuinely a misogynistic piece of shit and people call them out on it or b) they're genuinely progressive/humanist men who have some difficulty reconciling their desire to be dominant with feminism for whatever reason. And so they do this weird thing where they project these worries and insecurities outwards, and manufacture a situation where anyone who criticises gender roles at all is against them personally, and it would be so much easier if they were just a female dom instead, everyone would apparently have no problem at all with them then, cause grrrrllll powerrr.

I don't like to engage in armchair psychology but the follow-up ask from that anon made it pretty clear to me that they have some insecurities around reconciling their preference for submission with feminism because of some negative and hurtful experiences, and so they deal with it by projecting it onto anyone that suggests that gender roles might be why SOME people gravitate more towards it and why it's so much more popular than everything else. I'm sorry that those people said those things to you anon, they're wrong, but a) most of those people tend to be against all bdsm in general, not just femsub and b) you need to work out those insecurities by yourself. You can't lash out at anyone who tries to talk about the relationship between societal norms and preferences at all, it's not helpful or productive.

Also how do they know those people unfollowed you for that reason? Is that an assumption or a verifiable fact? I'm not necessarily saying they didn't either, I'm not a mind reader, but like, some people are just sexist and think women are naturally submissive, sexually or otherwise. I've met them before.

to quote my therapist: that was alot to unpack.

i'm gonna give a longer reply under the cut but i just want to state here i'm not posting this ask to offend or hurt, or even "one-up", the original anon who sent that ask regarding sub!females. i have no issue with them and, again, think they're in every right to send their original ask. i'm posting it because i do think this anon made some very interesting points and brought up alot of worthy of being discussed topics.

let me also put a disclaimer here that i am not a genius nor someone very well-versed in gender politics, i'm simply a twat on the internet with a negative mindset.

"Love when people reveal themselves as being so obviously online and insulated in leftist/progressive circles that they seem to forget that the rest of the world is not nearly as accepting or supportive of not conforming of gender roles as these spaces are."

this. omfg, t h i s. i see this so much, especially in my younger cousins/relatives who are just now beginning to develop their own political opinions. let's take the conversation away from dom/sub for one second and just focus on gender in society. one of the clearest examples of gender affecting the way someone is treated/viewed is something i've experienced first-hand: i was misdiagnosed four times before i was correctly given my diagnosis for ASD, because most of the studies regarding it center around boys and, therefore, most women go undiagnosed. in fact, for years it was believed only men could have it which is why there has been such a surgence in the past few years of adult women being diagnosed with autism. i remember hitting high school, experiencing academic burn-out (thanks to everything moving too fast + my classmates catching up to me intellectually) and having my teachers treat me like i was an imbecile, or i was lazy, rather than just someone with neurodivergence. (this isn't me implying tjat men with ASD have it easy or that society accepts them anymore than women, it's only easier for them to get diagnosed.)

"it's not like people always joke about women wearing the pants."

this applies to both the shaming of dom women and sub men. the amount of men who get treated like they're "losing their manhood" for letting a women(or anyone else) dom them is ridiculous.

honestly, I think at the end of the day (and to close up this whole issue-that's-not-really-an-issue), we're unfortunately always going to live in a world where people have opinions against either side of the dom/sub spectrum, or the whole bdsm community in general. the best thing we can do is try lessen the internal conflict, especially between dom and sub women. we gotta stop treating each other like the enemy when all we really are is people with a differing preference. at the end of the day, what someone chooses to do in their bedroom is no one else's business (unless it harms anyone) and we need to take away the importance we seem to put on it. we're on a floating rock in space, who cares if becky likes to peg her boyfriend on a sunday morning or if stacy likes to be tied up on a thursday evening?

also, anon, i like the way you worded this whole ask. despite it being long, it was easy to read and you made some great points. sorry my reply isn't more exciting, i just in general agree with most of what you've said.

#again i don't have any issue with the original anon who sent that ask #we all act on impulse when our enotions overwhelm us and i respect them for even thinking they needed to apologise #also have you guys noticed yet that i'm a little bitch who's afraud of confrontation??? #we love to see it 🤸‍♀️ #🎐: message board #anon asks

[wreckofawriter]

Painted Books

Pairing: Young!Sirius Balck x Slytherin!reader

Word Count: 3,297 (I'm sorry I got carried away)

Warnings: Swearing, Underaged drinking, Mentions of alcohol abuse/addiction, Super long

Summary: After a prank Sirius ruins something extremely important to you, so you get pissed. While sneaking around he realizes why you were so pissed and tries to apologize

A/n: Omfg I havent been on tumblr for like a month I'm so sorry I was inactive, high school has sort of been kicking my ass. I hope this super long story makes up for it. I actually kinda like this one alot, hope you enjoy it.

Hatred filled you like air into a balloon. Your blood had been replaced by lava and it was steaming, white-hot through you. Those idiot Gryffindors were going to regret everything they have ever done in about 10 minutes you thought as you looked at your common room. Red and gold covered everything. Every couch, every chair, every table, every wall, and unfortunately for you, every book and paper on the tables. You screeched loudly.

You had simply left for 30 minutes to eat dinner before returning to your homework and now, not only was the positions essay you had almost finished been ruined but so had your charms, Defence against the dark arts and herbology essays. Along with the seven books for those classes you had bought at the begging of the year. There was no way that you would be able to clean the paint off, it was surely enchanted and now you would have to stay up all night finishing essays that would never be even half of the quality the originals were.

As the rest of the Slytherin house began to clean up the mess you had ideas of making a new one. And not of their common room but of Sirius Black's face.

You snatched your soggy papers and books off of the table and stormed out of the room. The second you saw him your anger returned like a boiling title wave. He had just ruined all of your work from the past week and now he was laughing throwing his head back as his shiny teeth flashed and his glistening black hair fell away from his precise jawline and cheekbones. You walked straight up to him and before he could even look at you, you grabbed the collar of his shirt and threw him against the wall holding him there. As you did you heard many people utter gasps of surprise and James yell something but you were defened by wrath. His eyes widened in surprise then relaxed as you saw your small frame.

“You think this is funny?” You yelled holding your paint-splattered papers and books up for him to see.

“I do find it quite amusing.” He answered with a smirk.

You screeched again, shoving your fist upward effectively throwing him back against the wall and jabbing him in the throat. You may be small but you were far from weak.

“Look if you wanted to throw me against the wall you could have just asked.” He winked, his voice coming out raspy from his throat being half closed by your hand.

“You absolute piece of shit!” you screamed, “You just ruined all of my work from this whole fucking week! I'm going to fail because of you!”

“You could just sleep with the professor again.” He sneered Your eyes widened in shock, it had been a year since the rumor of you sleeping with a teacher had ruined your social life and here was this high and mighty asshole, who had slept with half the school bringing it up again. You had had enough. You brought your knee up and as it connected with his crotch you dropped his collar and he tumbled to the ground with a scream.

“You say anything like that again I will break your nose.” You hissed down at him, throwing your ruined essays and books at him. With that, you turned on your heel and left pushing past the group of students that had gathered to watch. Before you could exit the scene a hand grabbed your wrist.

“What the hell was that for? It was just a stupid prank!” James yelled as you snatched your hand from his grasp.

“It wasn't just the prank asshole.” You growled glaring up at him.

And that was the truth it wasn't just the prank. It wasn't your homework being ruined, hell it wasn't even the fact he accused you of sleeping with a professor. All of those things were insignificant to the real problem. He had ruined your books. No, you’re not some Ravenclaw who obsessed over books, and it's not like they were signed by the author either they were simply books. But not to you. To you, they were the extra hours you worked at a stupid coffee shop. They were the late nights and early mornings you had forced yourself in to. They were the reward you got for getting stared at by men twice your age because of the stupid tiny skirt that was somehow considered as a uniform. Hell, you worked all fucking summer. Your whole summer was just dumped in paint by some pretentious brat and his even more pretentious friends.

When you reached the Slytherin common room you were close to tears and when you entered you saw the one thing that could cheer you up. Kathy. Kathy was your best friend, she was also one of your few friends, I mean you were a Slytherin half-blood, you were no Lily Evans. She was also Slytherin and was the good cop to your bad cop attitude. When she saw you she rushed you upstairs as you explained what happened.

Sirius, Remus, and Peter crept quietly (not so quietly) through the halls under the famous invisibility cloak. James stood beside them his head-boy badge shining in the light of his wand.  

“Shut up Wormtail,” James scolded, “I think I hear someone.”

They all stopped and listened. With the shuffling noises silenced they could hear something. Laughter drifted through the halls. Soon muffled voices could be heard from some hidden place.

“I think they're in the kitchen,” Remus whispered.

“I hope they’re Slytherin.” James giggled as they approached the hidden door to the kitchen. James poked the bowl of fruit, hitting the apple once and the orange twice. The door swung open into the first layer of the kitchens. They shuffled in James taking the lead they were about to continue through the next doorway when Sirius heard a voice that made him jump.

“Wait!” his whispers called to his friend.

“What?” James whispered back.

“That's Y/n,” Sirius explained.

“Hell yeah this is going to be fun,” James smiled wide happy to catch you out of bed. “Finally get the bitch back.” He began to walk toward the second room in the kitchen when Sirius stepped out from beneath the cloak and grabbed his shoulder.

“Just let me see what she's doing.” He asked.

James’s eyebrows scrunched together in confusion he opened his mouth to speak but was interrupted.

“Please.” Sirius begged his friend, “Then we can bust her.”

“Fine” he muttered

Remus handed Sirius the invisibility cloak sighing, “This better be quick.” disapprovingly

Sirius rolled his eyes throwing the cloak over him and walked into the next room what he saw made his jaw drop.

There you sat, on the kitchen floor in nothing but a deep green crop top and a pair of shimmery silver booty shorts. Your y/h/l y/h/c hair was cascading down your back like a waterfall that seemed to glow in the candlelight. Next to you sat a brunette girl in a hoodie and sweatpants that Sirius recognized as Kathy Underhill. In your right hand, you clutched a bottle of fire whiskey and in your left, you held a spoon filled with chocolate ice cream from the carton at your feet.

“You know everryboddy thiks that imma stuck up bish now right?” You slurred, clearly drunk.

“I'm sure they don't,” Kathy said clearly sober.

“Oooohhh yeahhu they do.” You continued. “They’re all wike look at that tempershmental bitch who cants take a joke, wow somebody locks her up shes crazy, she fucked a professor for an and she is sooooo stuck up.”

“Well it's not true,” Kathy said grimacing as you took another swig from the bottle.

“SOO WHAT?” You shouted, your voice suddenly rising as you did from your crossed legs dropping you spoon on the ground, “What am I gonna say, I'm not shtuck up my mom is a alchohalic that blows her money on booze and I had to work all fucking summer in a shitty Cafe where middle-aged men stared up my skirt, to afford the books that the two ashholes you call “funny” you added very dramatic air quotes on the last word. “Ruined for a stupid prank ecaus they are stuck ups dicks who shove money up their asses for fun.”

Sirius’s eyes widened, he really shouldn't be listening to this conversation.

Tears began to fall from your eyes in large drops and Kathy sighed as you started to blabber nonsense.

“Alright sweetie, let's get you off your feet before your trip and kill yourself,” Kathy said rising toward you. You continued to sob as she took the bottle from your hands and helped you to the floor where you buried your head in her lap as she stroked your hair.

“Looks like imma just like my-” You hiccuped “- my bitch of a mother.” You groaned angrily.

“Hey honey, you will never be like that woman, I promise.” Kathy soothed, “I promise.”

“Your the best. I love you” You muttered as you began to drift into sleep.

“Love you too.” Kathy sighed.

    Sirius was so caught up in the scene in front of him he almost forgot about his friends who were waiting for him. He quickly turned and walked back to the second room where he removed the cloak and looked at his three wide-eyed friends.

    “Oh shit,” James muttered as he looked at Sirius who looked on the edge of a breakdown. Without another word, Sirius thrust the cloak into his friend's hands and bolted.

    Of all the people he knew what it was like to hate your mother, to have nothing, to work your ass off for things that are ruined by someone who had so much more. Now he had caused that pain. He had ruined your books. He had destroyed your hard work. He had caused those tears that sprung from your eyes. He had become what he hated most.

Sirius may be fast but James was faster, and he caught the young boy’s wrist before he could escape to god knows where.

When Sirius world around James saw something very rare in his eyes, tears. They were glassy and full. One cascaded down his cheek leaving a shimmering river in its wake.

“Sirius it's not your fault.” He said looking at his friend quite concerned.

“I ruined her books.” he sniffed,

“We didn't know, it's not our fault her mom’s an alcoholic,” James explained.

Sirius glared at his friend ripping his hand from James's angrily, “Would you have cared?” he asked bitterly.

“Of course I would,” James said sincerely

“I don't think you would have,” Sirius seethed taking a step towards him. “You have always had everything, the parents, the money, the house, the smarts, the skills, the girlfriend. YOU DON’T KNOW WHAT IT’S LIKE TO HAVE NOTHING!” He yelled his face red with fury, “So you don't know what it's like to have the one thing you did have ripped from you.” He whispered stepping away from his friend taking a couple of steps turning and sprinting back to the common room.

The next morning Sirius woke to see a stack of books on the end of his bed with a note stuck on top.

“Your right, I'm a dick, now please go give that girl these books and essays before I feel even more like shit. P.S you owe Remus big time for the essays” Sirius lifted the note to see a stack of brand new books and on top four essays each with the name Y/n Y/l/n printed in your handwriting on top. He then glanced at the stack of paint covered books in the corner you had thrown at him, they were still there covered in paint. Confusion covered him He then remembered who he was friends with and smiled.

“James you idiotic genius.” He muttered looking at each perfectly crafted essay. His eyes were shining.

    You woke to a less pretty sight. Your head throbbed as you sat up in your bed groaning, you looked at the clock, you still had an hour till your first class but you were too hungry to pass up breakfast, even with your head about to explode. You got up stretched moaning at the pounding in your head and changed into your robes. You headed down to the grand hall after downing five Advils.

When you arrived you saw Kathy chatting with a few other girls you knew. You sat down next to her grabbing the pot of coffee of the table and dumping it into your cup as Kathy greeted you.

    “Damn Y/n you look like shit.” a girl named Emma said.

    “I feel like shit too.” You answered as you took a massive swig of the coffee.

    “You stay up late finishing your essays?” Another girl asked.

    You groaned throwing your aching head onto the table as the essays that you had forgotten about reentered your half-awake mind.

“I swear next time I see one of those four assholes I'm gonna put them six feet under.” Kathy hissed.

As if on cue Sirius Black tapped your shoulder. You spun around and were about to speak when Kathy rose, “I think she's seen enough of you Black.” she said sternly.

“Look I know I was I dick I just want to apologize,” Sirius mumbled seeming very uncomfortable as all the girls at the table glared him down.

“She doesn't need your fake apologizes, she’s had enough for a lifetime,” Kathy growled.

“It’s fine Kath.” You sighed, “I'm way too hungover to deal with him asking all day anyway.” You grumbled quietly to her.

She huffed and sat down glaring the boy down as she retracted to her seat.

You looked up at him waiting.

Sirius flashed bright red, an unusual sight, “Oh um I thought I could talk to you in private.” he asked his voice fading in the last words as he scuffed the ground with his feet.  

You sighed, “If this is another prank Black I will break you back.”

“No no no I swear it's not.” He said hurriedly.

You groaned standing from the ground and following him out of the hall, still feeling like shit.

“Look, before you break my back can you let me finish what I’m saying?” He asked nervously, You had never seen the boy so nervous.

“Depends on what you say.” You answered narrowing your eyes.

“Alright then here goes,” He sighed “So me and the rest of us were with James last night and we umm heard you and Kathy, and I just-” He was cut off by a fist hitting his jaw.

“YOU ASSHOLE!” You yelled as you realized what he must have heard. Anger once again overrode your systems and you glared at the boy in front of you, “I swear to Merlin I'm gonna drive my-”

He slapped his hand over your mouth muffling your shouts. “Please just listen,” He begged, “Please.” when you looked at him you saw something you had never seen on his face before, desperation. This made you stop nodding as he slowly removed his hand from your mouth. Today was full of new experiences.

“Look I just wanted to say I'm really sorry for ruining your books and that I was a dick and well here.” He said as he reached into his bag and took out a bundle of books and papers.

You gasped when you saw the papers were essays, in your handwriting but much better than you ever could have written, and the books were all of the ones that had been ruined in paint except they were all hardcover and pristine as if they were bought last night.

“How did you….??” Your voice trailed off as you scanned the papers and books.

“My friends may be idiots but they’re geniuses.” He chuckled nervously.

Your amazement was replaced by rage (again) when you realized what was happening and anger flashed in your eyes, “I don't want your pity, Black.” You seethed handing his books back.

“No no no, it's not pity please.” He said as you turned to go.

“What is it then?” you glowered.

“It’s empathy ok? I know what it's like to have an asshole for a mom who never did anything for you ok? I know what it's like to have nothing. I know.”

You stared at him confused, what did a pureblooded rich kid know about that?

“Look my mom kicked me out last year, I mean not out of the house but out of the family. She disowned me and I get it, it sucks. I just got lucky to have amazing friends like James whose parents are super cool.” He sighed handing you the books back, “I was a dick, I’m really truly sorry.”

Your mouth hung open eyes wide. How had you never know this? You knew his brother and him didn't exactly get along but you never knew anything like that had happened to him. And then you did the last thing you expected you would ever do. You took two steps forward and hugged him. Dropping the books and papers on the floor, you wrapped your hands around his waist and buried your head in his chest. At first, he was surprised but it only took him a second to react and he wrapped one arm around your waist to the small of your back and his other around your shoulder resting his hand on the back of your head and pulling you closer to him.

You noticed he smelt of mint and smoke as you let your tears fall from your eyes, soaking his robes.

He buried his head into your soft y/h/c locks and he smelt pomegranate and ginger with the slight tinge of vanilla linger there. His eyes filled with tears and he squeezed them shut as he felt your body shake with sobs. You don’t know how long you stayed there but you wished to forever. When you did pull away your eyes were puffy and red as were his. You were about to turn to pick up the books and papers that were scattered on the ground when Sirius spoke.

“Hey Y/n one more thing.” He said.

“Wha-” his lips collided on yours and it was your turn to be shocked. After a second you melted into the kiss and leaned back into his minty scent as you felt his toung run along your lower lip, you tipped your chin upward giving him better access to your mouth. As his hand found the side of your cheek and yours found his hair. You pulled away after a few seconds later gasping for air.

You looked up at him cheeks flaming red, “Sorry I pushed you into the wall” You paused, “And kneed you… and punched you in the face”

“You could make it up to me by got to Hogsmeade with me this weekend.” He suggested voice barely above a whisper as he stroked your cheek.

“Sound good.” You giggled just then you glanced at your watch. “Shit!” You yelled quickly gathering you new books and essays from the ground. “I've got to get to Herbology!” you turned, turned back placed a quick kiss on Sirius' cheek, “I'll see you later.” You said before dashing out the doors onto the grounds. As he watched you go he touched his flaming cheek with his hand. A few seconds later James walks up next to him.

“She a little less pissed?” he asked nervously.

“You have no idea how much I owe you right now.”

#sirius black x reader #sirius black #sirius black imagine #sirius black imagines #young!sirius black x reader #harry potter imagines #harry potter au #harry potter #harry potter imagine #marauders era #marauders au #marauders imagines #james potter imagine #james potter #james potter x reader #remus lupin imagine #remus #remus lupin #remus x reader #draco malfoy #draco imagine #draco malfoy x you #draco malfoy x reader #hogwarts #lily evans #lily potter #lily james

[borathae]

~Chapter 25~ Jesus Christ and i thought the last chapter was a rollercoasterride. When Jungkook said "you are the love of my life" now that...broke me. No joke I literally got chills when jungkook said that, like i am not joking. Also "No darling, i mean y/n" aaaah there it is again 👀 Also forehead kithes, yes.

🖤 Strangers - FLETCHER

When oc & kook started talking it just felt so real. Like how people that had such a special bond can become strangers again. Like when you were SO FUCKING close with someone you could talk about everything and now you don't even know how to start a conversation. "The way we ended it, you know it makes me sick how two people once could be so in love, now we never talk. [...] and I hate that I hurt you. What I know right now, I wish I knew then. [...] We started out as strangers, now we're strangers again."

🖤 No Right To Love You - Rhys Lewis

Jungkook knowing and acknowledging he fucked up, to the point where he feels like he doesn't even deserve ocs love anymore. "To jump was my decision, I've only got myself to blame. 'Cause I have no right to love you when I chose to walk away. I have no right to miss you when I didn't wanna stay and I have no right to need you. And I knew what my heart was gonna lose. I have no right to love you but I do. I still do."

🖤 Mirrors - Justin Timberlake

This one is just so fitting. Especially with the part where jk was really opening up about what oc really means to him and that he lowkey only sees a future with her. Like she really showed him what love feels like. "I don't wanna lose you now, I'm lookin' right at the other half of me. The vacancy that sat in my heart is a space that now you hold." Alsoooo when he said that once he realised all that, he just had to come back, there was no other option. "Show me how to fight for now and I'll tell you, baby, it was easy comin' back here to you once I figured it out. You were right here all along." And then the part of the song where it literally goes "you are, you are the love of my life" over and over again 💔 Also this line: "So now I say goodbye to the old me, it's already gone." Jungkook is evolving.

🖤 What We Had - Sody

This would have fit the last chapter so much but I just discovered this song and I think this also kinda represents what Jungkook feels about the whole OC x Hobi situation. We see he's bettering himself in that he's trying to walk away from the situation and deal with his emotions alone instead of exploding in ocs face bc that is toxic. And he's very open about his feelings, communication is key in a healthy relationship. But still, he is jealous bc he loves oc and therefore obviously doesn't want to imagine her with another man. "I know I'm being selfish and I've got no right but I can't help thinking about you tonight. And I don't wanna say it 'cause I know it's bad but I don't want somebody having what we had. I know I'm being stupid but I just can't stop thinking that you're with somebody and I'm not." Also this part: "I've still got the pictures from the memories that we once made, can't seem to let them go, I thought that we'd grow old. Down to see you happy but I don't want to see you happy without me."

🖤 I Hate You, Don't Leave Me - Demi Lovato

I feel like this represents oc's feelings really well, like the way she's torn between wanting him back and struggling to forgive him. "I hate you, don't leave me. 'Cause I love when you kiss me. I'm in pieces, you complete me. But I can't back down, no, I can't deny that I'm staying now 'cause I can't decide, confused and scared." The song even talks about the physical touch part with which oc is struggling as well, wanting to be held by kook but at the same time being scared of what his touch ignites in her. "I hate you, don't leave me. I feel like I can't breathe. Just hold me, don't touch me." Also the ending of this chapter really felt like oc was trying to make sure that jk knows that she needs him and that it's definitely not fully over eventhough she's so torn. "I admit, I'm in and out of my head. [...] Just hear me out before you run away 'cause I can't take this pain, no. [...] Been abandoned, and I'm scared now. I can't handle another fall out, I'm fragile."

🖤 Side of My Heart - Katelyn Tarver

Same as with the song before. Oc struggling with her feelings. "Half of me wants to come over and spill every thought that's inside of my head. Half of me wants to unlearn every turn that would take to get into your bed. One foot on the gas, one foot on the brakes. One out the door and one trying to stay. [...] I can start telling myself once we get through the mess, we'll be stronger for it. But then I start thinking that if I was stronger, I wouldn't put up with your shit. One minute I'm sad, the next I feel crazy." And this "I need you all the way here or all the way gone", how oc got angry for a sec when jk told her he's leaving again.

Sorry these are getting longer everytime, I'm invested haha 😢✌

Okay first of all never apologize for your song recs getting long! Please I love them so much, you could sent in a whole novel and I would read every single letter of it 🥺💜  

 Strangers - FLETCHER

Okay first of all that song has such JKMusic vibes, which just adds a whole level of flavour to it omfg 🤧 Also no joke this is literally so them ommgmg. Like when the reader is all like “help why is it so weird talking to him? what happened?” that song could play in the background omfg 🤧😔 but also omfg this line “No time's the right time to reach out but here I go [...] all the things we said and couldn't take back, swear I never meant it, and I hate that I hurt you.” is so Jungkook and him struggling to reach out to here for months 😔

No Right To Love You - Rhys Lewis

I don’t even know what part to quote because the whole entire song is basically Jungkook in this chapter. Holy shit :( I am acHING HAHAHHAH you don’t even know how many times I listened to that song while I was writing this chapter. And then you go and rec it and I am just like 😩 we are sharing a braincell anonie 😔

Mirrors - Justin Timberlake

I don’t know what I should add here anonie. Your description and the lyrics you chose are literally perfect. There is nothing to add here other than :(( I am bIG SAD :(( 

What We Had - Sody

YES OMFG! First of all I 100% agree with you that this also fits perfectly with chapter 24 😔 also lisTEN HOW DO YOU FIND SONGS THAT JUST FIT SO 

R I G H T???

Like I am literally blown away, it’s freaking amazing and I am :( Also omfg this part “I've still got the pictures from the memories that we once made, can't seem to let them go.” if that isn’t them both realising that they both carried a part of the other with them. OC with the half-finished tattoo and the polaroid and JK with the finished drawing :( I am soBBING

I Hate You, Don't Leave Me - Demi Lovato

😭😭😭 anonie lisTEN I AM GOING TO SMOOCH YOU hfhdshfh your description, the parts you quoted I am just wOw I couldn’t have said it better. Fuck you saying “ she wants to be held by kook but at the same time being scared of what his touch ignites in her.” I am ACHING 😭😭 aLSO THIS PART “Been abandoned, and I'm scared now. I can't handle another fall out.” if that isn’t her being all scared of giving in I am :(

Side of My Heart - Katelyn Tarver

This song is so beautiful omg, I teared up hahahah hELP lisTEN I am :( this shows her struggle so well, like especially that part “I need you all the way here or all the way gone [...] I want you to go and I want you to stay.” this made me think of when they were all like “guess that’s it then, the end of our relationship” and yet neither one of them stood up and left because deep down they both didn’t want their relationship to end. I am a broKEN WOMAN 😭

Thank you so much anonie, listening to those songs literally just made my day. I mean lol they did tug at my heartstrings, but it was a good kinda tug 🤧 seriously I appreciate you so much, I love you lots my lovely anonie 🥺💜💕

#asks: purple rain #ost: purple rain #anon #asks

[honeiistar]

see it is okay to fall in love with somebody just in 2 months...why did I agreed with my sister when she said " I think u rushed into the relationship " the tf I didn't I knew what I wanted. "oh I think u only cared about him" "have some public decency " who fucking cares if I gave him a blow job. who fucking cares. the only person that should care is me and him. I didn't care. I noticed that the more I hung around him the more I started to feel carefree. I didn't care what ppl think of us. I didn't care. why should I care of what others think. why should I care of how fast or slow I should be within the relationship. everyone is different. we all gave boundaries. everything I did with him that was explicit was nowhere seen by the public eye. everything I did with him felt so right. he didn't judge me. he liked me for who I was. not some fake ass bitch. if your fully aware of what u can be in the relationship then don't let it happen. "oh I'm to nice, I feel like ima go into denial over him" omfg get a fucking grip. he's a piece of shit. who's grown as hell. who needs to get his shit together. funny how ur slowly accepting a life without him. he suppress your feelings, every time ya'll argue. crazy how your the ONE who gave in these "breaks" wtf. wtf. wtf. he couldn't even give himself a week to think over his actions. and those fucking excuses he made just so he doesn't have to deal with you and himself. goes to show that he doesn't care. lord Jesus u had to drive over there to talk to him about himself. ofc relationship aren't rainbows and sunshine. she's not happy. crazy. she's not happy with him. theirs no effort. this is crazy. why do ppl fuck up of what good they got on with their s/o and expect them to live up to their lazy expectations/efforts. he has a good girl for him and he just doesn't see it. how come when I get quite everyone wanna know if I'm doing okay, like I'm fine please stop asking me that. every time I sigh "what type of sigh is that?" like it just just sigh for FUCK SAKES. ugh. I wish I could say it to him again. she started posting on her ig story not bc she wants engagement but bc he's following her and she wants him to it. I know what you're doing. it's obvious.

[myvelouri]

Did I write about Sam? I think so, yeah she said she appreciates me, and it took her a while to warm up to me

She even asked if I was off tomorrow and said to come in and dab with her lol, which I think means smoke a blunt but yeah. She was really treating me like a whole full human being.

I think cause, well, she's the waitress that works there but she surprised us at Whataburger cause she saw me Ronnie and Hector chillin there. She freaked me out lol. But she saw me get some customers at the bar treating me with racism or sometimes calling me gay. I don't know if that's what did it but she thought of me as so sweet now. Cause even during the fight I accidentally dropped the drink on her she was trying to serve. It's okay, it was riled up and a lot of people. I grabbed onto her and told her to stop me. And I remember that. After it ended I went up to her alone and said "hey, I'm sorry I dropped that on you, I.." and she cut me off and said "omg you're so sweet, no, it's totally fine" and I said "okay" and walked away.

It was a wild night, that one.

But yeah so I did go see Sam the day after but she was busy at work. She didn't smoke with me at all. She was tired I suppose. Idk though. It's okay

I mean people do that. Ronnie said he was gonna text me to hang tonight but he didn't. So I know people do that, you know?

I love Ronnie. He actually told me "I was going to jump into that fight if that guy started hitting only you" and I was like wow I love you man. Idk how we got to be decent friends but I appreciate him

I'm a mostly loving and trusting person and no one sees that right away (anymore) because I look a certain way I assume.

Okay anyway, back to that night at Whataburger. She like surprised us. Hector and Ronnie left. That one dude working at Whataburger tried to get with Sam so much that Sam asked me to sneak her out. Lmao we did when the guy wasn't looking but we also refilled our drinks LOL. Omfg she was saying I should work with her, she was saying she's emo as fuck too. I am actually able to talk to her for a long time. Good chemistry. She a goof. Omfg right, she has a very goth name, it's so pretty, ffs her name is "Raven" and her last name is equally as goth. And she was telling Ronnie and Hector (before they left) how someone said something she LOVED which was "they said my name is like, um, those books," and I said "lmao SOMEBODY? girl, I said that hahahahaha" "fuckin, 'somebody'" and I was teasing her, like, it was really funny hahaha. And the book series was "a series of unfortunate events" yeah, Sam is very baudelaire. I'm somewhat well cultured and I knew other thing she has with her that one time. Like I said, I gave good Chemistry with her. And now she's open to me. I can't believe that happened. At the same time I'm really sad that this whooooole time I knew her she didn't really like me, up until now. I guess... I guess it took her a while to get to know me just by watching me at the bar and seeing me deal with many situations. As well as being sweet to her most of the time. I don't know. I joke with her a lot too, I tease her. I did this knowing that she wasn't into me. I just liked her as a friend I get to be goofy with. You have to realize I grew up like this, being the funny one, being the goofy asshole with many friends and girls, just having a good ass time laughing. I'm very fun! And so, yeah man, I liked messing with her. So I'm sad that she didn't like me right away like people used to. I don't know. I think my appearance is different and causing some issues here. I used to be more adorable. It is confusing to explain. It would take long so I won't do it here right now.

But yeah me and Sam escaped Whataburger and talked in the parking lot forever. She said the fact that she's asking if I'm off tomorrow or actually trying means that she sees me as someone real, and said she appreciates me. It warms my heart. But I selfishly am still bitter that I wasn't appreciated earlier? Not in regards to her specifically, but that this has been happening to me a lot recently? Ppl not liking me and shit? So yeah, she warmed my heart a lot. I told her "wow, well I'm glad you see that now, a lot of people don't see that in me anymore" she thinks I'm really sweet.

I don't know. During that fight at the bar with the homophobia piece of shit, I bumped into her and was still able to have clarity even in my drunkenness to aid her immediately, and I became soft so quick and said "I'm so sorry Sam, are you okay? I didn't mean to touch you there, I didn't mean to drop that on you" i forgot to mention that when that happened, and I had her hold me, because of the bar fight I was in, that I accidentally also grabbed her breast, not grab, it wasn't on purpose, I was riled up, wasn't even LOOKING, I thought it was her torso or arm, because I trust her you know? And yes after I did that I immediately said omg I'm.so sorry I didn't mean to touch you there... She understood completely.

And also as we joked while in Whataburger before we left, or escaped hahaha, I said "okay let's go babe" and I quickly laughed and said "lol wtf I just called you babe" and she laughed, and she was into that too. Can't remember her joke but she played along hahaha maybe called me honey or something. Fucking dork, lol.

I think it's so funny that she ran into us at Whataburger. Perfect timing. Cause me Ronnie, and Hector were at Steve's place smoking and drinking. For a whiiiiile. And we got hungry so we left to eat. What were the odds Sam was driving by Whataburger that moment we were inside already. And she saw us. Yeah haha she said she saw us so solhe decided to come in

I should ask her if she wants to watch the joker with me. I'd like to see it with somebody

I showed her the kitten I rescued! She knows about it all. She helped me out by telling me stuff about it

Ahhh

Yeah guys the girl who's snap I got last night? Yeah she uh, never added me back. That's another L for me.

I'm not weird or creepy. I don't know why I think that. Maybe I am now. I just want to die. This is all so much and this ain't even half of what I deal with. There's shit I deal with so heavy that I don't even post here. I mainly post about relationships and friendships here along with dealing with that while having depression.

But I'm not okay. I hate myself but I love myself, but I dislike myself a lot more. The parts I love, I wish were more amplified..

I need money. I should just call into work tomorrow

I'll be in bed all night tonight, listening to music

Idk why that girl never added me back. She told me she was gonna just chill all day today too. And I told her that's totally fine, we can do something anytime. It's nice to meet you, REALLY love your style!

And the way she looked at me with those "I think you're so fucking cute" eyes confused me. Usually you can tell you know? I can always tell when a girl thinks I'm cute. But I've been off now. So off. Literally no girl likes me anymore

I think I've become old and ugly

Lonely, weird and lost.

I miss many things from life. I want many things too. I still do. If not, then I just want death. Being alive while wanting things so badly and never getting them is torture... Especially when the things you desire are things that everyone already has and takes for granted. You don't know, you just don't know

I'm so hurt that this is my life

I don't think I deserved this... I don't think anyone deserved this

#personal