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iamdorka · 4 years

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„Could I please request a 'Dating ______ would include:' bullet point headcanon for Colson, Dom and Pete respectively? I love your writing; thank you 🖤”

So here I thought about 5 random scenarios (while dating of course) and how each of them would react/behave in that case, so basically I put my own spin on this request. Hope you will like it. But I have to add that your request made me think about this type of writing, so maybe in the future I will bring you some extra writing too.

- taking couple selfies

Colson: Colson would be the type who says that he hates taking photos, but actually he loves it, especially the couple selfies, because he adores you and when you are taking a selfie of both of you and the picture turns out great, your smile is the cutest thing on Earth, he says. Of course usually it doesn’t turn out great for the first couple of times and after the 500th attempt he gets bored and starts to make fun of you, but you are always quite determined so you keep going and when there is a great photo he actually gets more in love with you, every fucking time.

Dom: Dom would love taking pictures with you. Yeah, you are an addict but he is your partner in crime in that too. Like his mind is just as crazy as yours and if something involves the two of you, that’s 100% sure that there will be photo evidence of that, probably posing like the most idiot, badass couple in the town. Your camera roll may have a few(!!!) selfies of yourself, but maybe there are even more couple selfies.

Pete: Okay… but Pete would be the absolute worst in this scenario. Like when you would take out your phone, he would be actually scared because he hates seeing himself on photos and first you didn’t really understand this and for you it was hard to accept it, as you are a photo addict, but after some time you got it. So when he was willing to join in your craziness, it was something special, you knew that and you really appreciated that. One of the cutest thing was when he returned to Instagram, after a quite long period, the first pic he posted was one of your couple selfies.

- taking care of him when he is sick

Colson: He is the worst sick person ever, like you know that if boys are sick they tend to overdramatize it but oh boy… what he usually does in the case is next level. Your friends get to used to the hangover Colson (which is also some extreme shit) but the sick Colson is even worst. Yeah… that could happen. You thank God that his immune system is quite strong, even after all those shit that he has consumed, but when he somehow gets sick you try your best the cure him because you have your limits too and sick Colson can get you closer to them very easily.

Dom: Doesn’t matter how old he is, he usually acts like a child, like in the sweetest way, especially when he is around you. So it isn’t a surprise after all that when he is sick… he turns into a child even more. He doesn’t really understand that you have to keep your distance even if you are the one taking care of him, because his neediness becomes quite strong and he is able to throw tantrums if he doesn’t get you near him. About getting the medicines in him… you wouldn’t even want to start talking, because that’s always an interesting challenge.

Pete: Pete is a quite sick, like is he has some aching parts he doesn’t even tell you about it, you usually figure it out on your own because you see something slightly has changed in his usual behavior. Of course you immediately begin to act like his nurse because you don’t like knowing that he is suffering and he does exactly everything what you ask him to do. He is the best patient ever, if you can say so, also he likes this special attention but he would never admit this to you.

- celebrating your birthday with him for the first time

Colson: Getting together with him was a quite a wild ride, and being with him pushed you out of your comfort zone in so many scenarios, so when your birthday finally arrived you weren’t even surprised that the little party which he threw you turned into the biggest house party he threw in a while and this is a big thing, because when they throw a party it’s big… but this was 10 times bigger. And everybody got the chance to get to know you, like he is the king of the gang… and that day you became his forever queen. Everybody knew, even before, that they can’s mess with you, but after this it was obvious that you are his ride and die. His girl.

Dom: The thing is he was probably even more excited about your birthday than you were, which is a pretty big thing because damn you love your birthday, it’s your own national holiday and it was quite weird for you to share this excitement with somebody else but the enthusiasm of his was so adorable. He planned a whole music festival themed birthday party for you in his garden because he knew how much you live for those events. He even spoke to some of your favorite artists and with them he made a special birthday video just for you which when appeared on the big screen made you cry like never before. He just couldn’t understand how lucky a girl you are with him by your side.

Pete: Pete likes to stay in, smoke and just eating junk food and usually you are his partner in that, but for your birthday you just wanted to do something that you don’t usually do and that’s when Pete told you that he has everything in control, you just have to follow his instructions. That’s how he took you out for a fancy sushi restaurant which was actually the best thing because damn you ate everything up there and he was so happy that he could make you this happy. And the fact that he decided to took you out, and he enjoyed it too, he who prefers to stay in 24/7 was your biggest birthday present ever, like you knew this, between you two was something really special.

- getting up to catch an early flight to the other side of the country

Colson: Even after being with him for months you still couldn’t understand how he can function with that little sleep hours he got, so when he knew that he has to be up really early he decided not even go to bed, which for him was normal, but you just didn’t want to do as him and tried to convince him to go to bed with you, sleep a bit because sleeping on a plane is never the best option but he was quite stubborn…. but you had your ways and after some time you won. That’s why after like 3 hours sleeping waking up was the cruelest thing to do but you suffered together… as always. Of course you would never admitted that those 3 hour sleep just worsened the situation and without it everything would have been better but that’s just your stubbornness which he loved.

Dom: If he sleeps 6 hours, he has way more energy than necessary, if he sleeps 8 hours or more… he has even more energy, this guy is like he is always on some kind of drug without taking it actually, so when you had to be up at 4am he somehow woke up before you and when your alarm went off you woke up for a big cup of coffee and a cute breakfast. You couldn’t even open your eyes properly but he was almost out of your apartment already.

Pete: Coming off from some mushrooms when you had to leave for the airport wasn’t your best timing ever to be honest. But at least you didn’t suffer as much as you would have otherwise. Pete has some unique ideas to soften the situations and getting high almost everytime was involved in those solutions but this time you couldn’t really decide if you regretted it or not. When time is literally an illusion for you getting somewhere in time was a quite big challenge so when you woke up on the plane, on the right plane, on your chest of your boyfriend you were quite proud of yourself.

- him cheering you up when you had a fucked up day

Colson: He knew that when you are pissed off, tired there are two options: he needs to keep his distance and give you some time to cool off first alone or be by your side and doesn’t leave your side, not for a minute. These options usually ended up in some angry making out sessions, with heavy touching, not saying a word but there were times when he just mixed everything together… he knew you well. He knew exactly when he shouldn’t even open his mouth because he just could worsen the situation… that’s when usually he turned to music. Without even saying a word, just mumbleing to his live piano playing, letting to fill the house with his ryhtm you tried to reach you… and it worked even when it didn’t.

Dom: When you needed a good laugh… you could count on your boyfriend because sure he is some funny guy, so when you hava a long day and all you wanna do is just… not to exist you are really grateful that you go home to a place where he is there. Some light hearted comedy or stand up, letting him order some food and watching him impersonating the comedians was the highlight of those days. He knows that he is funny and to be able to make your messed up day just a little bit better he would be willing to do anything, literally and figuratevly…. because when his other half is in pain, he is in too.

Pete: Staying at home, like an old couple was your go to date option, like always. But when you arrive home saying that you will never ever not even consider leaving the house because you hate everything and everybody and you stay with that idea for quite sometime he starts to worry. And when you just can’t do anything right because you break everything, everything slips out of your hand he just carefully goes to you, hugs you and takes control over everything, even your body. He leads you to the nearest bar chair in the kitchen, sits you down and makes you a sandwich and cup of your favorite tea… and doesn’t say a word, he waits until you want to talk about it. These little things are the ones what make you love him more and more everyday. Nothing big, nothing special, just simple things.

Tag list (write me if you wanna be on it❤)

@echelonwonderland @no-shxt-sherl @kissedbystrangerswaterbottle @bakerkells @backoftheroomandnotbelonging @mgk-rooklover1997 @just-a-normal-fangirl18 @southernmgkpunk @thegunnerkelly @findingmyths @painkillerash @rosesinmars @rosegoldrichie @pinksocktingz @itjustkindahappenedreally @cclynn88 @bluehairedtracii @rumoured-whispers @estxxbritt

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myhockeyworld87 · 4 years

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Nervous Regrets - Tyler Seguin - Part 37

Word Count: 3,233

POV: Reader

Warnings: Language, Smut, NSFW

Notes: So here we are trying to determine what happened with the IG story. Lots of baby stuff in this part. Thanks for sticking with me as I’ve been alternating updating this as well as NSDL. Hope you guys enjoy. Happy Reading! And Let’s Go STARS!!!

Nervous Regrets Masterlist

"Baby," Tyler whispered while gently kissing your cheek. When you didn't wake right away, he tried again. "(Y/N), babe, wake up." You weren't sure if it was Tyler's second attempt or Jace loudly sucking on his pacifier that actually woke you up, but your eyes flew open immediately as you sat up at the same time, almost bumping Tyler's forehead. He laughed at your disoriented state.

It took you a minute to register that Tyler had Jace in bed with the two of you. "Oh my god, did I sleep through him crying?" You'd been exhausted when you and Tyler finally fell asleep after having sex for the first time, in what seemed like forever, but you didn't think that you'd sleep through Jace's cries. The second he started to make noise you were usually up.

"He just whimpered a little and I went up with him." It made you feel a bit better that your child hadn't been full-on sobbing and you didn't wake up, but still, you hadn't felt Tyler get out of bed at all. "I can't find a bottle or I wouldn't have woken you up."

"I didn't get a chance to pump yesterday."

"Mmm," he hummed his understanding, knowing that it had been a busy day for all three of you. "Well, the paci has kept him entertained for a bit, but it's not going to be long now. I can tell." You adjusted your pillows getting a little more comfortable to breastfeed Jace, when you realized you didn't have any clothes on, not that it mattered as it was just the three of you; it was just sort of odd. Tyler handed Jace over to you.

"Hey, mommy's boy. Are you hungry?" Taking Jace's pacifier out of his mouth, you set it on the nightstand, while Tyler cuddled closer to the two of you. Jace usually latched on quickly, but he seemed to be a bit disgruntled tonight, squirming around and starting to fuss. You let him cry a bit before trying again and having no success. "Maybe he's wet."

"I just changed him," Tyler told you, now sitting up beside you in the bed. "What's wrong bud?" Jace just cried louder. He acted hungry but just didn't want to eat. Tyler reached across and put his pacifier in, which he suckled on with enthusiasm.

"He definitely seems hungry."

"Yeah, he's chomping on that thing, pretty good." You took the pacifier out and tried again, now that you knew for sure your little man wanted food. Jace just turned his head away with a loud cry.

"I don't know what to do, this has never happened before," you told Tyler. Between Jace's cries and your full breasts, they started to leak, and you handed the baby over to Tyler. "Let me go pump some and put it in a bottle for him." As soon as you had a couple ounces of milk, you put it in a bottle for Jace to try. He rejected it once again, his cries now filling the house and you felt like the worst mother in the world since you didn't know what to do. Even the dogs were upset as their baby brother sobbed and sobbed. "What time is it? Maybe I can call my mom." You looked at your phone, seeing some notifications on them but paying them any mind. It was four in the morning and you knew calling would set your parents into a panic attack, but then you were freaking out yourself at the moment. You were just about to call your mom when you thought about the nurse telling you to keep some formula on hand just for cases like this.

Tyler was still rocking Jace back and forth in his arms when you flew out to the kitchen, opening the pantry and scouring it for the formula. As you found it, you heard Tyler's voice. "Babe, what are you doing?"

"I remembered the nurse saying something about trying formula if this happened. I thought she meant in the first few days but I'm willing to give it a try." It had now been over an hour that your baby was crying and your hands were literally shaking as you got the formula ready. Which was silly really, because all babies got fussy at times, this was just Jace's first time and it was setting you on edge. Thank god Tyler was here to help you through it. "It's ok Jace, mommy's almost done."

Twisting the cap on the rubber nipple, you handed the bottle over to your husband as you watched Jace's face with unblinking eyes. His little face scrunched up at first and he seemed to fight it, and you were ready to burst into tears, but then he started to suck. "I think he likes it." As soon as the words left Tyler's mouth you started to cry. "Babe, he's fine. It's ok." He moved closer to your side unable to get an arm around you like he wanted to.

"I know and I'm happy about that, but why wouldn't he take mine?" you sniffled out and realized you were standing in the kitchen naked, crying, while your son took his bottle happily from his father who also wasn't wearing a stitch of clothing. "Oh my god, we are a fucking mess." You hiccupped, between tears and laughter now.

Tyler chuckled, leaning the bottle on his chest as he wiped your tears away quickly. "Thank god no one else is here." You'd only made two ounces and Jace downed half of that faster than you thought, so you went and made two more just in case. It had been several hours since he'd eaten and with all his crying, the poor little thing was starving. Ty propped him up on his shoulder patting his little back to burp as you both went back into your bedroom. You still had his bassinet down there and figured if he fell asleep, you'd just put him there instead of taking him back to his crib. Tyler sat down on the bed, and Jace let out a blech so loud you thought it was your husband. "Uh babe, can you get me a towel?" You peered around Tyler's shoulder only to notice Jace's spit up running down his back and you just burst out laughing.

"We're really a shitshow tonight."

"Please don't say shitshow." And you only laughed harder as Tyler tapped his son's butt. "We don't need to add a blowout tonight. Do we bud?" By the time you got back with a wet washcloth, Tyler was feeding Jace his second bottle. He fell asleep about halfway through. "Poor little guy, you tired yourself out, huh?" You kissed his sweet little head before Tyler laid him down in the bassinet, the two of you exhausted as well.

"What time do you have practice?" You asked Ty, as you crawled back into bed.

"Not until ten, so I don't have to be up until seven-thirty." He joined you under the covers cuddling you close. "Let's go back to sleep for a bit." He dropped a kiss to your lips and the two of you slept for a couple hours, waking before Jace.

Tyler was off to practice when Jace finally woke up. He was your happy little man for a bit, but again when it was time to nurse he just wasn't having it. Rather than make him upset, you opted to just give him formula, then decided to call his doctor. Who basically told you, that babies went through this from time to time and that if it went on for a few more days, to call and you could discuss some options. She also reassured you that if you started weening Jace, he would be absolutely fine. You felt a little better after talking to her about everything.

It was close to noon when you finally got to put Jace down for a nap and you picked up your phone. There were several missed phone calls from Jenna, so you pressed her name and called her back. She didn't even give you time to say hello. "Finally, are you ok?"

"Yeah, Jace is on a boob strike at the moment and was incredibly fussy last night."

"Boob strike?"

"Yeah for some reason he decided he doesn't want to nurse and only wants formula." You still were upset by this, but were trying to comes to terms with it after your conversation with the doctor. "I know it's weird considering he's Tyler's child." When Jenna didn't laugh at your joke, you found yourself saying, "Is something else wrong?"

"Umm…"

"Spit it out, Jenna."

"Well, they're gone now, as Alandra took all the comments off." You remembered then that Alandra had posted on Instagram last night at the game, so you could only assume that the same person who sent you the direct message about cheating was up to no good.

"They're, as in multiple?"

"Yeah," Jenna's voice was weak as she confirmed your suspicion. "They weren't good (Y/N)."

"So, what did they say?"

"There were a couple that just said you baby trapped Tyler, which we both know isn't true." It was actually the furthest thing from the truth though having Jace was the best thing that happened to you. "There were two that said Tyler is cheating on you." Jenna hurriedly followed that comment up. "Which I know isn't true at all. I mean Tyler loves you more than anything and Jamie agrees. Plus he told me that when they were on the last road trip all Tyler did was talk to you and Jace or mope around because he wasn't with you guys."

"I know he wouldn't cheat Jenna." You sighed heavily before telling her the rest. "Someone sent me a message saying that same thing but the picture was an old fan pic. It's probably just some fangirl that upset he's off the market, at least that's what I told Tyler." You also told him not to look into it further and you still stood by that. "I'm sorry that they came on Alandra's story like that though. I'll have to call her and apologize."

"I talked to her. She just feels bad she didn't turn the comments off until this morning." Jenna paused but you could tell there was more. "There was one other thing." When she didn't continue you prompted her. "There was one saying that Jace isn't Tyler's son."

"What the fuck? Why would someone say that?"

"I know right? I mean, it said something about how you'd slept with all these men and were now passing Jace off so you could get money from Tyler." The more she told you, the more livid you got.

You were pacing around the kitchen, anger radiating off of you. "Who the fuck would say that? It's not true and you know it."

"I know and god you were only with that one dickhead and not for that long. How anyone would know about that I have no clue? Besides, Jace is like a mini Tyler anyone can see that. I just wanted to give you a heads up as I'm sure Tyler will be fuming when he finds out."

God, she was right. He was going to be so pissed. "Thanks, Jenna. I'm just so mad right now. I would throw something if it wouldn't walk up Jace."

"Do you want me to come over? I'll hold the pillow for you to punch as long as you promise not to miss." That made you laugh, but only a little.

"No, I'm fine, but I may take you up on that offer at some point." Just then you heard the garage door opening. "Ty's home. I'm sure this is going to be fun. I'll call you later ok?"

"You better and remember take some deep breaths."

"Thanks." You hung up the phone right as Tyler slammed the mudroom door. "Quieter please, Jace is sleeping."

"Sorry," He whispered out harshly. "I'm just so fucking mad right now. You will never believe what the guys just told me."

"That someone posted shit on Alandra's IG? Yeah, I just got off the phone with Jenna."

"That's it (Y/N), I'm calling up my team and seeing what can be done about it. Don't tell me not to." He grabbed a bottle of water out of the fridge and went to slam the door but thought about it and shut it gently after your reminder about Jace.

"I'm not going to argue." He practically spit his water out when he heard that. "I could care less what they say about me, but Jace, that's a different story." You could feel your blood pressure rising still angry at the comments that were made about Jace's paternity. "You don't believe what they said do you?" Tyler pulled his eyebrows together and you didn't know if he was asking you about what remarks you were talking about or if he was simply saying how could he believe them. So you found yourself saying, "The part about Jace not being yours."

"Jesus no." He set the bottle down and grabbed you instead. "(Y/N), I know without a doubt that Jace is my son. I've never questioned that…ever!" He dropped a kiss to your lips. "Ever, do you understand me?" You nodded when he pulled back slightly and suddenly tears were flooding your eyes. It wasn't the fact that Tyler believed you, for you knew that he did. It was just everything in the last twenty-four hours, the game, Jace not nursing, and now this. Tyler wrapped you up in his arms, kissing the top of your head as you cried. "We'll find out who's doing this babe." Tyler was right. He would get his people on it and then the whole matter would be settled. Until then you just planned to lay low on social media. Once you calmed down, he held you at arm's length. "Now why don't you go take a hot bath and just relax a little."

"Jace just laid down. We should have a little time." You quirked a brow at him. "Why don't you join me."

"Mmm, I like that idea even better." He twisted you so your back was to him then swatted your ass. "Let me just go kiss my son and I'll be right there."

You went into your en suite and started to run the water, putting in some bath salts to make it more relaxing. You could hear Tyler on the monitor with your son. "Hey bud," he whispered softly careful not to wake him. "You keep sleeping so I can have some time with mommy and daddy will get you anything you want when you get bigger." You had to laugh at your husband already trying to bribe his son. You made a mental note to not like Tyler buy everything your child wanted in the future. "I love you, Jace. Daddy's going to protect you and mommy." It melted your heart to hear his words. You heard him close the door and you quickly got in the tub, not wanting to be caught eavesdropping on his conversation with Jace.

Tyler quickly stripped his clothes then crawled in the bath behind you. The tub was large and made for two people, though you hadn't gotten too many chances to use it since you moved in. "Mmhmm," Tyler said settling in behind you. "I missed things like this with you." You leaned back against his chest, as his hands slid around your middle then up to idly play with your breasts.

"I missed this too." Turning slightly, you leaned up urging Tyler to kiss you, which he happily obliged. His fingers tweaked and pinched your nipples as his lips pressed against yours. You could feel Tyler's erection pressing against your bottom as you melted into him. His lips ghosted down to the hollow of your neck where he sucked and nipped, probably leaving a mark but you didn't care, instead, you just moaned out your pleasure. "Mmm, Ty." You felt one of his hands glide down your stomach so that his fingers could slip in between your pussy lips. Though you knew you probably had at least an hour, the way Tyler made your body feel had your hips seeking more in just this short amount of time.

"I love how you're still so eager for me babe," Tyler breathed out as he continued to finger you.

"Always Ty, I will never stop wanting you." It was true, even after the two of you broke up, you still craved him. Needed him really, almost as much as you needed air to breathe. Jace had brought you back together; had made you love each other even more, and you would let nothing and no one come between you now. Tyler hit your g-spot, bringing you out of your musings and back to the pleasure only he knew how to make you feel. "I need you, Ty."

"I'm right here baby." He whispered in your ear, before taking your earlobe between his lips, gently tugging on it. His fingers worked faster to bring you closer to the edge. Your hips thrusting of their own accord as he coaxed you to orgasm. Water sloshed around with your movements and though you were close you wanted his cock inside you when you finally came.

You halted his fingers, then lifted up so you could turn around and straddle his hips. He helped you sink back into the water and onto his cock. He filled you inch by inch until he was fully engulfed inside you. Cupping your face, he brought your lips to his, in a searing kiss as you started to ride him. More water lapped around your naked bodies and you knew some of it was getting on the floor but didn't care as you rode Tyler. "I love you, Ty."

"I love you too (Y/N)." It wasn't long before you were building up a frenzied pace, one that had you both panting with need as you worked toward climax. Your hands rested on his shoulders as you rocked back and forth. His one hand slid to your clit, where he flicked the little nub, and then you were there. Moaning out his name as the orgasm hit you. Your pussy spasmed around him and with a few thrusts of his hips, he followed you into that heavenly bliss. The two of you laid there, bodies cooling just as the water around did you. You weren't sure how long you laid there, but then you heard the familiar gurgles of your little boy. "Looks like someone is waking up."

"Ugh, I thought he would sleep longer." You told Tyler.

"Well, he's not crying yet." He slapped your ass playfully. "Let me up and I'll go check on him."

"Mmm, have I mentioned how much I love you." You leaned back on the other side of the tub to let Tyler out.

"Maybe once or twice, but you can tell me again tonight after Jace goes to bed." Tyler winked then threw a towel around his waist before heading up to go check on the baby. Your life really was perfect, except for the fact that someone was definitely trying to break up your family.

#Nervous Regrets Series #tyler seguin #tyler seguin imagine #tyler seguin imagines #tyler seguin smut #nhl imagines #nhl imagine #nhl fanfic #nhl smut #hockey imagines #hockey imagine #hockey fanfiction #hockey smut #dallas stars imagine #dallas stars imagines #nervous regrets

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hayjeon · 4 years

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Tips on creating fun fanfic headers!

i had so much fun writing the fanfic writing tips yesterday and i got a few more questions about header-making, and so i decided to make one more of these! i hope these tips help somebody out there! hope you enjoy :)

p.s. these tips won’t require any hard editing skills or photoshop skills, nor any expensive tablets/apps!

typically i spend around ~5-10 min creating one header, and that’s either after i think of/finish a fic. i have so much fun doing it and sharing it with you that i figured i’d share how i do it!

why headers?

as I talked about in my fic tips, one of the most eye-catching things about fics are headers. when i’m scrolling through a rec page, my home page, a tag, or even someone’s masterlist, i’m immediately drawn to well-made headers. that’s what captures my attention, and then i’m more drawn in by the content. so, you can say that headers is your own version of an ad for your own fic, or an extension of it (like the cover of a novel!)

if you were writing your own book, imagine how much time you’d spend figuring out what you wanted your cover to look like. i try to have as much fun and invest as much time making my own headers because it’s just the cherry on top to my finished product :)

disclaimer: BUT HEADERS ARE NOT NECESSARY/DO OR DIE! if you don’t feel like you want to do this, then keep writing! its ok! this is just a suggestion. i’ve seen plenty of well-written fics without headers at all, so don’t beat yourself up over not having one/not wanting to do one. this is truly just a fun, extra kind of thing, and only keep reading if you want to learn how i do it! :)

tips for people who don’t want to make headers: if you still want something to make your fic stand out, use gifs! i use them in my drabbles a lot! this will at least give ur fic a lil boost!

how to find pictures

I typically use unsplash, which is a free website in which photographers upload their HQ pics for free use. the pics are really high quality, typically stock photos, and don’t have any logos on them like other ones on google. unfortunately, you won’t find any pics of the members or anything, but you’ll find beautiful stock photos of typical scenes like “ocean scene” or “desert scene.” I found the stock photo for cut me open (shown below) on that site by just looking up “medical” or “doctor”.

i used to use google a lot and just use keywords like “desert scene HQ” and edit the search settings to deliver HQ pics, and a minimum # of pixels, but unplash is definitely better in terms of quality, more aesthetic photos, and no logos/watermarks.

on some occasions, i will screenshot some scenes of youtube videos, turning up the quality to 1080p or 4k and zooming in so that the pixelation is as crisp as possible, and then editing it later to look good (which i’ll explain in a second!)

the above photo was a scene from the specific characters from the drama, “100 Days My Prince” that I screenshotted from a youtube video that TvN uploaded, recapping the drama. I cropped it just right so that their faces were left out, which i’ll also mention soon!

things to look for when picking pictures:

you want the picture to reflect a specific motif/theme from your fic! if its a moody fic, then try to find a moody scene that you can edit with filters/lighting to look even moodier; or if the characters’ jobs are a big portion of the fic (like cut me open/doctor theme) try to look for stock photos with that shown very clearly!

make sure its high quality: tumblr really dumbs down the quality of the photo when uploading it, so try your best to find something with a lot of pixels in it so that when you start editing, you don’t sacrifice too much of the quality already

try to look for something simple/clean: a picture with too much subject (ie. people in the background, or too much detail) may end up taking away from the main point of your header, which is your title. so find pics without too much clutter!

try to make sure its landscape: which will help during editing to save some of the quality better.

editing your pictures

now that you have a specific photo you want to use, now its time to edit! I use VSCO CAM (free app) and my own apple photos cropping tool for faster crops.

crop/adjust: if your picture is too large/wide, crop it to at least a 16:9 ratio. i’d say aim for skinnier if you can, so that you don’t take up too much space (especially if you’re planning to add headers to your masterlist). also crop out any faces, any clutter, any unnecessary details, so you have a nice, clean slate to work on when adding text.

contrast/sharpen/clarity/white balance/etc.: i’m not gonna give you a lesson on photography, but i’ll tell you I learned like 80% of everything that i know just by fiddling with it on VSCO! So just try it out and play with the app, see what you can make of it. i’d say a rule of thumb to follow is that you want happier fics with a brighter tone, and moodier/angsty fics with a darker tone so that it can reflect the nature of the fic further, without saying anything!

if you wanna be extra af like me, then go a step further and photoshop your pics. this one is a good example; when i screenshotted this scene from another youtube video for my fic One Year My Love part 2, i was specifically looking for a scene that would showcase the ornate/regal details of their clothing/environment in contrast to part 1′s modest clothing/scene (the first header in this post).

i found this scene, but actually, this scene portrays the Crown Prince and the Princess, not y/n. So, the actors weren’t smiling at all! They were actually frowning at eachother in this scene, to portray the tension between the two characters and their marriage.

So, I took the extra step, adjusting the pic with VSCO so that their shoulders/chins were at the same level, cropped off their faces up until their lips, and then used the adobe photoshop free app to photoshop their lips to be SMILING at eachother!!!! subtle, but important!

call me crazy for taking that much time but i’m so proud of how it turned out and i loved every second of making this one. that way, this scene makes it portray the happy ending for Jungkook and y/n!

adding text to your header

you can use any app out there, but i really like Font Candy! I actually ended up buying the 2$ version of this and never regretted it, but you can actually find a lot of their basic fonts on the free version; I tend to use the fonts: OSTRICH SANS, BEBAS, TREND, and INTRO the most! these are pretty clean-looking, block letters that look good whenever i put them as my titles.

I love this app too cause you can easily control the spacing between letters to make them take up more space, add shadows, or even make them contrast their background using the overlay feature; like this one i made for wildest dreams (see how the text changes depending on what part of the photo its on? amazing! it’s literally with a click of a button!!)

And i’ll always add “written by HAYJEON” or “by HAYEJON”, space it out, and add it somewhere underneath as my own branding.

orrrrrr

if you want to be more creative, you can even go a step further and use whatever you have on hand to enhance whatever you’re trying to portray.

for this one, i ended up finding this amazing photo on unsplash and i thought it would do a create job of portraying the “movie-set” quality of what wildest dreams is going to be about. this stock photo had someone else’s names on it, so i used my ipad, and used instagram to just erase the existing writing with the color of the background, and then wrote in my own title and url with my own handwriting/apple pen!!!

i thought this was pretty cool because it’s like wildest dreams is its own movie/has its own movie set, which, once it’s out, you guys will see that it’s supposed to be!

saving/uploading

this is pretty easy/obvious, but i figured i’d mention it. all the apps i mentioned are available on the appstore, and they will save directly to your photos. after doing that, i’ll just upload them into a special folder i have on my google drive so that when i’m finished writing a fic on tumblr using my laptop, i can easily download the photos without sacrificing quality. easy!

and that way, i can save them forever; even if i have to delete them from my computer, i can always redownload them!

side note: making text separators

i just recently started doing this, but ever since tumblr took down their text separators, i’ve just been cropping the bottom like 5-10 pixels of the header to use as my text separators! (with my laptop)

i saw some other writer doing it and thought that it looked better than what i had used previously (a cropped photo of a random line i found on google); i found that doing this tied my fics together a little better and just looked better aesthetically;

so there it is! hope you enjoyed! :) i would love to see what other tips you guys have been using, feel free to send me an ask or reply to this post; and if you end up using any of my tips, please let me know! I love to hear from you guys all the time <3

lots of love, especially during these times,

hay <3

#writing tips #story talk

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mirkwoodshewolf · 4 years

Text

Graduation surprise; BoRhap cast x reader

*Author’s note*

Hey ya’ll well I promised this fic when I posted the Queen prom fic so here it is. Now I know it’s not as long as the last one is but I felt like this didn’t need to be super long. Also as another special little fact for ya’ll I was gonna make this a Queen fic as well but then I decided to change it to a BoRhap CAST fic since I hadn’t done one of just them in awhile.

So to all seniors whether HS or college, the class of 2020 CONGRATULATIONS I know it’s not what you hoped it would be but still try to find celebration in this pandemic, you all achieved probably the greatest milestones in your life. So stay safe, stay healthy, stay sane, and be happy :) Lot’s of love from me my darlings!

Taglist:

@waddles03

@psychosupernatural

@plethora-of-things

@jd-johndeacon-or-jackdaniels

@ixchel-9275

@simonedk

@queensdivas

@platawnic

@queendeakyy

@geek-and-proud

@kairosfreddie

_______________________________________________________________

Goddamn this year! Just when we think the new decade would be worth our wild, now we’ve got all this shit going on! First there was the threat of WW3, then the next month we’re dealing with wildfires in Australia, and finally to top it off why not add a global pandemic?!

The Coronavirus has literally been all over the news for months, and the fact that our government knew about it since late last year and didn’t warn us about it!? Then when they told us to be on lockdown, everyone starts hording toilet paper, hand sanitizer, and food that no one can buy said items for weeks on end.

But of course my main problem is the fact that I, along with so many other kids and adults around the world can’t participate in their own graduation ceremony. As a college student, I was just longing to finally participate in my final graduation ceremony ever. This was supposed to be my final chapter in school life and now because of this damn virus, that’s gone.

I mean yeah my diploma will be coming in the mail but I wanted my family to all be there to see me reach the end of my school life before I finally begin a new chapter. Plus my cousin’s friends said that they would come and see me and I’ve missed seeing those guys, I hadn’t seen them all since the Bohemian Rhapsody premiere.

I sat there in my old room of my house (cause since the University closed down back in March, all students had to leave the college campus and go home so that way we could reduce the spread of the virus. So I ended up moving back in with my parents) just finishing up my final paper for class.

That’s when my Zoom video chat blew up with my cousin’s profile pic. I grinned and clicked on the answer button and soon enough my cousin’s face took over my screen.

“Hey poppet.”

“Hey Gwil, how you holding up?” he let out a sigh.

“As best as I can. Though I should be asking you that, you are the one really dealing with this whole Coronavirus adjustment than I am. How’d you do on your classes?”

“For those that have said online classes are easier, they’re dirty rotten liars and completely incompetent.” He softly chuckled. “But thankfully I finished my last exam paper and submitted it just now.”

“Your dad look over it for you? Cause I know you’re a terrible editor.”

“Oi not all the time. Just when I’m lazy.” He hummed as he raised his brow at me. “But yes I did have dad review it for me. Cause before we got to submit the rough draft and my professor said I needed more analysis to my quotes on why I quoted that specific source. God I don’t know why I took that class to begin with?”

“Because you’re a criminology nut and you have been since you turned 16. God and I thought my horror movie tastes were bad.”

“Hey it’s good to be aware of shit like that!”

“Language missy!”

“Okay Cap.” I teased. He gave me his stern look which made me laugh as I fell to my side on the bed. “Oh by the way I saw that little dating app video you did.”

“And what did you think?”

“I liked it. Kinda makes me wish an app like that did exist in real life.”

“You not just pulling my leg on this?”

“No. Honest and swear to god you had me moved by your performance. Well next to you being Brian May of course.” He grinned. “I swear I still can’t get over when I first saw you in the full hair and makeup, I literally almost had a freakin panic attack.”

“And the fact that Brian was also there to witness that.”

“Oh god don’t even go there!” I groaned as I hid my face in embarrassment.

“So—now that you’re all done with school, what’s next for you?”

“Well any plans I had are put on hold till this whole crisis goes away. And I really thought 2020 was gonna be my year. This sucks!”

“I know poppet, I know. But believe me that it’s not just you whose affected by this. Everyone in the whole world is suffering exactly the same way you are.” I sighed solemnly.

“I know. I mean I should be feeling for you and the guys right now, I mean all of you are out of work till further notice. And all the restaurants that I love going to. Did you know that the little ice cream parlor you and I used to go to when we were kids shut down?”

“No!”

“Yeah, the owner couldn’t keep up the payments because hardly anyone was ordering from them anymore, even with online delivery. So she closed it down.”

“Damn, that sucks. I really loved going to that place with you. That was always our special little time together without the grownups around.” I nodded remembering all the fun times we had together in that little shop.

It was then someone suddenly popped into our conversation. The extra person now on my screen was none other than Joe Mazzello.

“Hey Gwil, mini-Lee!”

“Hello Joe.” Answered Gwil.

“Hey Joe been a long time.”

“How you two holding up?” he asked us.

“As best as we can, how about you? I’ve seen those Youtube videos you’ve been doing on your page.” Gwil said.

“You know those were jokes, especially that last one. I just wanted to get a laugh out of everyone, or have them hate me.”

“No one could hate you Joey.” I said with a smile.

“Aww thanks mini-Lee. How’s classes been?” I let out a groan as I once again flopped on my bed which made Joe laugh.

“I am just thankful that this is all over. At first I thought online classes would be easy but one of my professors was technology challenged. Another one would sometimes forget to do a lesson, and then of course blackboard could barely operate long enough for me to submit an assignment which caused some of them to be late.”

“Well like you said it’s over now.” Joe assured me.

“Oh hey I saw that Jurassic Park livestream you did.”

“Oh did you? How come I didn’t see you submit a question or just say hello? I’ve seen your Youtube page so I know your username by heart.”

“Cause I may or may not have also been working on a project. But chose the livestream over the project.”

“Nice going Joe, you’ve turned my cousin into a procrastinator.” Gwil complained.

“Hey at least she has Jurassic Park unlike you Gwilym Lee! Serious shame on you for not owning it! This is why mini-Lee is the coolest out of the two of you.” I snarked out a mock laugh as I stuck my tongue out.

“Ganging up against me okay I see how it is you two.”

“Oh come now cousin dear, we’re just messing around.”

“Messing around? If we’re messing with Gwil then I want a part of it.” Soon another picture came up and there lying on his side was Ben Hardy.

“Benjamin!” Joe screamed joyously.

“Hi Ben.” I sung out.

“Hey (y/n).” he waved at me with a wink. “Now going back to teasing Gwilym.”

“You guys are officially gonna be blocked right after this.” My cousin groaned. We all laughed when I told him.

“Again cousin, we’re teasing you. So Ben, what brings you here?”

“What can’t I pop in and say hello?” I giggled.

“I see nothing wrong with it. Oh hey get this; I finally got around to watching 6 Underground.”

“And what did you think of it?”

“The first 10 minutes were insane! And truthfully I never really understood Michael Bay films, but this one—definitely my favorite. I loved it Ben, really.”

“Well thank you (n/n). Thank you.”

“Never did I think I needed to see both you and Ryan Reynolds on screen together….”

“Whoa okay easy there (n/n)!” Joe interrupted me.

“Oi you get your mind out of the gutters! And you say it’s the fans that make what you say to the extreme.” I scowled him.

“Trust me, I’ve known him for over 10 years and he still doesn’t grow up.” Another voice stated and soon two more familiar faces popped up on screen, stuck in quarantine together in LA were Rami and Lucy. And then a split second later another face came on the screen, it was none other than Alan Leech.

“Hey, Rami, Lu-lu, Alan!” I cheered.

“Hey (y/n)!” the three of them said as they waved.

“God I feel like I’m getting spoiled, got the entire BoRhap family together for the first time in like—forever.”

“It’s crazy.” Alan said.

“Definitely.” Agreed Rami.

“Maybe when this whole thing blows over we should all get together some time in New York.” Offered Joe.

“I’m down with it.” Ben said.

“Me too.” Lucy agreed with a nod.

“Yeah, (n/n), Ben and I could fly out together.” Said Gwil.

“I’m down with that. Now that I’m done with school, I can do what I want now.”

“So guys now that we’re all here shall we begin?” Lucy said.

“Begin what? Gwil what’s going on?” I asked.

“Well (n/n), when this whole quarantine shutdown and school cancellations started affecting the class of 2020 we all felt bad that you couldn’t graduate the way you hoped you would.” Gwil said before Joe continued.

“So Gwil called all of us up via the Whatsapp chat, as well as our daily zoom calls. To gather us all together on your ‘last day’ of college.”

“To celebrate your own Virtual college graduation party!” Rami cheered. At that point everyone either threw confetti, blew on graduation blowers, or holding up signs that said CONGRATS 2020 GRADUATE!!!

I covered my mouth with my hands speechless and tried to hold back the tears.

“Ohh you guys.”

“Since you couldn’t have a college graduation party, we figure we’d bring the party to you. See not even this pandemic can stop us from celebrating our Mini-Lee’s ultimate milestone.” Ben said as he set down his congrats sign.

“And also expect some gifts within the next few weeks, depending on how the mailing services do with overseas gifts.” Alan said.

“Aww thanks you guys, you didn’t have to.”

“We know, but we wanted to. Let us spoil you even through this pandemic.” Said Joe.

“Thanks guys, this—really means a lot to me.” I wiped a hidden tear that strayed down the corner of my eye. They all awed at me that’s when Gwil lifted up a small graduation cake.

“I know, I know this’ll be ridiculous but just humor me will yah?” I smiled and nodded. He lit up the 2020 candles and held it just high enough for me to see the top part of the candles.

“CONGRATS (Y/N) LEE! CLASS OF 2020!!!” everyone proclaimed at once which made me smile and I blew out towards the screen. Gwil then blew out the candles for me as everyone else cheered and clapped.

“Thanks so much you guys. Really, you have no idea how much this means to me.”

“We’re happy to do it (y/n). If it makes your day a little bit brighter in these dark times.” Rami said.

“It did Rami, it really did.”

“Well hope we can make this even better cause I’ve also got a part 2 to this little surprise. But in order for that to happen, everyone else has got to go otherwise you won’t really be able to see it as clearly.” Gwil said.

“Aww man.” I whined.

“No worries mini-Lee, your cousin added you to our BoRhap Whatsapp chat and I’ll send you a link to our zoom channel if you ever wanna chat with us again.” Joe said with a wink.

“Thanks Joe. And thanks everyone take care and stay safe.” They all waved and bid me goodbye with waves or blowing kisses at me and one by one they signed off till it was once again just Gwil and I.

All I could see across his bearded face was that cheeky grin he does whenever he’s trying to hide something.

“What are you grinning about?”

“Just the fact that I’ll be the best cousin once you see part 2 of your special surprise.”

“What did you do?”

“If I told you it won’t be a surprise now would it? Now let’s see, god I hope they get it.” He muttered the last part to himself. It took a few minutes till finally another screen popped up and standing there in his room was Adam Lambert. I fangirled in my seat and covered my mouth trying to contain my squeals.

“Hey girlfriend!” he greeted with a wave.

“Adam oh my god!”

“How’s it going?”

“It’s been going. Finally submitted my last paper. So I’m officially done with school forever.”

“Yaas Queen!” he snapped. “So how’s it feel to be a college graduate?”

“Well it’d be better if we weren’t in the middle of a pandemic.”

“Understandable, but hey you’ve worked hard for this so be proud of yourself no matter what’s going on in the world right now.” I nodded with a shrug. “And to celebrate your graduation, your cousin whipped up another little surprise for you.”

“Oh my god Gwil you didn’t!” I gasped. He merely raised a brow at me cheekily as he bit his lip back from a smile.

“Hey guys you there?!” Adam called out and soon enough two more screens came on and the picture revealed to be both Brian May and Roger Taylor. Brian sitting on his couch while Roger looked to be in his basement with his drumkit.

At this point, I had lost my shit. I was fangirling to the max at this rate but tried to calm down.

“Hi (y/n), congratulations of graduating.” Brian greeted me.

“Major achievement there love. Congrats.” Roger added.

“Oh my god…..Gwil this is—how……”

“I knew you’d love it (n/n). Plus I knew this would cheer you up after our last conversation we had last week. You really needed some cheering up.”

“So guys are we ready to do this?” asked Adam.

“I’m ready to go if you both are.” Said Brian as he took his Red Special and set it on his lap and Roger twirled his drumstick.

“(Y/n), this is for you love. Hopefully when this whole mess is over, you can finally go out there and reach your dream job. Till then we hope you enjoy this.” Roger said.

It was then both Roger and Brian began playing the tune for ‘we are the champions’ but as Adam began singing the song, it turns out that they were actually singing their new song, ‘You are the champions’ dedicated to the first responders worldwide.

But now they were playing it in my honor as a college graduate. As they continued to play the song, I allowed the tears to flow down my face as I laced my hand over my heart.

God—never did I think that through this pandemic would I be happy. From having to never see any of my friends I made in college again, to not having my whole family come to the house to celebrate, or going out to party with some of my friends. But this—right here and now, my cousin made it all up to me all the way from London.

At this point, I knew that I was officially the luckiest person in the world. All thanks to my favorite cousin, and I wouldn’t have it any other way.

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the-scavengergirl · 4 years

Text

Be Delicate ( not the title )

Haven’t written a Reylo or any Fanfic in a hot minute. Thought I wrote this for someone, perhaps it was just for me. Who the fuck knows. And I’m teetering on maybe seeing my way out of the fandom, still not sure. So if you like this. Thank you, if not, that is fine as well.

Per usual I own no one. Not that characters, especially not the lovely Daisy or Adam. And certainly not the horrid song exile feat that got this stuck in my brain by miss T.swift.feat. the glorious Bon Iver So that being said. Lets carry on. Also some parts are memories so there are no confusion. Also may post this on AO3 same pen name <3 on with the Bullshit. Also the pic that was inspo isn’t mine, it was a screenshot from the movie clip.

It didn’t take her long. She’d always spot him out in a crowded room. It didn’t matter how many there were she’d always see him over everyone else. But it didn’t appear to go both ways. She’d been four drinks in when his head turned, the girl at his hip catching where his attention had gone off to, and everything came to a stand still.

I can see you standin', honey With his arms around your body Laughin' but the joke's not funny at all And it took you five whole minutes To pack us up and leave me with it Holdin' all this love out here in the hall

And she’d never hated him more in that moment. She had to press her fingers against her face to look at him properly in the lighting, the flickering catching the frame of the stupid issued glasses. The way the lights gave his nearly translucent skin an odd sort of glow. Never before had he looked more perfect.

She was already three steps ahead of his one as he came towards her, her head shaking slightly beneath the hat Poe had found her, stating it would go in the ridiculous outfit she was currently mucking around in, Her drink pressed so tightly to her mouth she was sure the glass would shatter. “ Please don’t--we can’t do this anymore Ben. There is nothing more to talk about.”

Rey watched the way his jaw shifted. Sometimes it was the only way to tell his mood, as he could be a man of few words. But Ben Solo was annoyed, he didn’t like being silenced. But they’d been down this road too many times. And she was done.

“ It is quite obvious what has happened, and I’m tired of it. You’ve played me as a fool, and I let myself believe you actually had feelings for a girl like me. I believed you Ben--”

I think I've seen this film before And I didn't like the ending You're not my homeland anymore So what am I defendin' now? You were my town Now I'm in exile seein' you out I think I've seen this film before

The tears were never part of the game. She thought when she and Poe had shared a bottle of wine prior to coming, and his grand idea of changing her style that had her ready to face the real issue...Ben Solo.

But he always had a way of looking about her that made her feel as if he were undressing her. And not always in a way that sent shivers down her spine. As if she were to be reprimanded at any given moment, the way she had been time and time again back in the home and she hated it, because he knew that about her. He knew everything about her. She’d laid herself open for him like an open book, and he’d thrown it in her face. Just as he’d promised not to.

“ You’re running Rey. You know you can’t run forever. Not from me.”

It was as if Poe could see her panic, pulling her from the place where she shook, and yet remained rooted in place, unable to walk away. Because Poe knew, she’d never be able to walk away. She did have that power, no matter how toxic their relationship had grown. And their last fight had done her in, Ben’s words a seething venom that even Poe felt hit extra hard, especially hard when he knew where she’d come from, promising to love her, to fix all the pieces that had been broken. Split wide open.

I can see you starin', honey Like he's just your understudy Like you'd get your knuckles bloody for me Second, third, and hundredth chances Balancin' on breaking branches Those eyes add insult to injury

“ You come from nothing. You’re nothing.” She couldn’t describe the sound that left her, only the feel of the glass as it slipped from her fingers, shattering to pieces, one shard catching her in the pad of her foot, due to the stupid sandals that Poe said would be a smart purchase.

Her body pitched backwards as if she’d been thrown, an invisible force propelling her away from him as she felt something along the plains of her cheeks, doting them like the constellation like freckles she hated so. *Tears*.

“But you said--”

“Who the fuck cares what I said Rey. What about the things you said. What about the promises you’ve made, and broken. I’m done. I told you that. Rey it’s been 6 months. I told you, it was time to let old things die, and you couldn’t--you wouldn’t do it so I’m done. We are done. In case you didn’t notice that one.”

Of course he’d use her past against her. The one thing he promised he’d never do. If there was one thing Rey wasn’t proud of it was how she’d treated him. In the end. She knew in the process of finding herself she’d treated him horribly. His childhood had been difficult as well, and perhaps after their first breakup, when they stood shouting at one another, anger radiating off of them in waves as they stood in the rain outside his uncles they should have called it quits. But they were electric, like two magnets, when things were bad nothing could bring them together. But when things were good, they were drawn together so tightly, it was like they seeped into each others every being.

“ Yes--I’ve noticed Ben. You’ve made that very clear. In every text. In every call. In every attempt at getting into touch with you. Yes this is some plot, such a great one, poor Rey, so desperate she had to involve your Mother.”

Rey hadn’t realized the magnitude or the moment in which the octave of her voice changed, only that everything sounded like she was trapped in a tunnel, and everything around them seemed to fade out. The noise around them suddenly reverting to nearly nothing.

“ I forgot the world revolved around Benjamin Organa Solo. Maybe if you answered your fucking phone I wouldn’t have to search you out, but forget it. And just so you know, this wasn’t about us. I give a fuck about us. I’m actually packed up, I won’t be a problem to you anymore so don’t worry. It’s your dad Ben….he’s sick. Thought you’d want to know since you won’t speak to anyone but what’s her name right here.”

I think I've seen this film before And I didn't like the ending I'm not your problem anymore So who am I offending now? You were my crown Now I'm in exile seein' you out I think I've seen this film before So I'm leavin' out the side door

She didn’t wait for Poe, or remember her feet carrying her to the car, only the feel of the way the shard of glass dug further into her foot, and the way the blood seeped and flowed across the bridge of her foot freely as she pushed down on the break.

Seattle rain had always been one of Rey’s least and most favorite things about where she lived. Some Days it made her want to do nothing more than tuck herself away in the depths of her blankets and sleep until little glimmers of sun broke through, and that could be days. It wasn’t until she met Ben, with his boundless bursts of energy, and his stupid need for a dog, the one she ended up with that gave her an excuse to pry herself out of bed on the harder days, after copious amounts of coffee of course.

But as she pulled away, Ben screaming her name the rain made her more unsettled than it ever had. She was glad she couldn’t see her phone, knowing she’d forgotten to remove that picture of him. Her fingers reached for the dial to turn whatever song was playing.

All this time We always walked a very thin line You didn't even hear me out (You didn't even hear me out) You never gave a warning sign (I gave so many signs) many signs) So many signs So many signs (You didn't even see the signs)

It sounded like the blade of a handsaw being pressed against her ear despite the fact she was in her own car. Her eyes widened in horror as she watched the car from behind her hydroplane across into the other lane hitting not only the oncoming car, but the guardrail. It took another 30 seconds for her to realize, and the moment her head made contact with the widow a sickening crack reverberating through the cab. It was then and only then through the sticky trickle of blood she realized it was Ben’s car that had slammed into her after ricocheting across the two lane highway like some sick game of pinball.

They always said in moments of trauma, your body floods with adrenaline, the shock taking over so the pain becomes nearly nonexistent. But with Rey this was not the case. The lights were blinding, and she couldn’t for the life of her figure out where the horrifying screaming was coming from, until she realized it was coming from her. But nothing she was saying made sense, and then there were hands, soft, soothing.

“ Hi honey, my name is Rose. You’ve been in an accident. Can you tell me your name?”

“ Ben--is”

“ Your name is Ben? I need to keep your head still sweet girl, you have a cervical collar and some facial swelling.I need to know your name if you can.”

“ No my name is Rey--the other was he brought in? He is Ben--I’m fine I need to know if he is alright.”

But she wasn’t fine. The swelling in her brain was severe enough it took 4 days under constant watch, and intervention to get it to a point where the doctors felt she was out of the woods. 4 days before they lifted her from that dark and heavy underwater feeling where time never changed. 4 days before she saw Rose again.

The human body at nearly 200lbs endures the average impact force of 43,050lbf traveling at 65mph, assuming the driver was wearing a seatbelt. Meaning the body feels like it's getting hit with a mass of 43,035lbs. But knowing Ben, in his anger, and the fact on more occasions than not he would forego the seatbelt all together, complaining that they needed to survey people his size as to make proper seat belt placement so they weren’t so fucking usless and uncomfortable.

Therefore changing the schematics drastically, a person Ben’s size, of nearly 200lbs, because he’d taken up the gym again, and quite diligently from what Rey could see, a man of Ben’s size at nearly 200lbs traveling without a seat belt at 65mph would endure the average impact force of 215,248 lbf. Meaning on initial impact with the oncoming car it felt like getting hit with a mass of 215,174 lbs.

An African Bush Elephant weighs 13,000lbs.

Ben was hit upon impact, with the weight of sixteen African Bush Elephants before hitting the guardrail, and bouncing off of her. *Sixteen*. And didn’t die upon impact.

That had to speak for something.

She thought she could see his face, in the darkness. Perhaps it had been wishful thinking, or the drugs they pumped through her veins. She didn’t hear anything Rose said to her after that, the number sixteen playing over and over in her mind like some annoying buzzing noise that wouldn’t go away.

Of course she didn’t need to be told he was gone, she could feel it. She startled awake, the only thing to greet her was the beep of the machines hooked to every bit of her being. And she just knew. She couldn’t feel him, from the moment she’d seen him across the library there was something about him. The way he’d smiled at her, making her shift uncomfortably from where she was hidden in the stacks, there was this connection. Like he’d split her whole being open with that one look and nod of his head. She was done for.

“Do you believe in soulmates?”

His voice was low and lulling. And she could honestly listen to him speak about anything well into the hours that would make her regret life in the morning. And that was exactly what was happening. She’d just been dozing off when he fired off one of his questions, the bed dipping with his weight which meant he’d turn to face her. His fingers brushing a curl from her face and removing the glasses she’d forgotten to remove in her drowsy state.

“ What? Soulmates--what are you on about?”

She didn’t turn on her side the way he had, instead opting to simply turn her head a bit on the pillow. Perhaps afraid of what she’d find if she really looked at him.

“ Yes, soulmates. I mean I’m not sure I believe in the everyone has someone made for them and that fucking garbage, but we’ve gone to the same school for years. We’ve had classes, and not said a word or given each other a glance.”

“ You did lop me in the head with your paper while I was at the pottery wheel that one time.”

“ Yes, but it wasn’t intentional, and you didn’t move. So irrelevant. But never once did we really pay each other any mind, brushed shoulders, passed things without glances, or words beyond our work. Then one day, it was like something just aligned, and you were right there, and you looked up, and I knew you felt it too.”

She wanted to tell him he was fucking crazy. To ask him if he’d eaten one of Hux’s fucking edibles again. But she could tell from his tone he was serious.

“ Yea, maybe. It would be nice you know…”

Ben didn’t answer, instead allowing his fingers that he’d held in the air like a giant web, as if tracing the stars to fall over her face, giving it a gentle squeeze before tightening his hold to place a kiss on her lips. No further words exchanged. Only the soft sound of his breathing as it evened out in sleep.

Rey had wanted to pretend she was asleep that night.She was selfish like that. She’d been exhausted from being hunched over the pottery wheel all day, and then her shift at the gallery seemed never ending. And so when they finally climbed into bed nearing 1 a.m. She just wanted to sleep.

She was glad she stayed up that night.

Because he’d been right. She had felt him the moment he looked at her. And now she couldn’t and she’d never felt so alone. And she’d grown up alone. She knew loneliness. Until Ben came along, filling all those spaces as if they’d never existed.

“Rey--”

The noise caught her off guard, causing her to bump herself against the bed in a way that made her realize just how poorly she was, her eyes falling on the frame of Leia Organa nee Solo and then once again Solo. Her normally pristine appearance looking about as wonderful as Rey was sure she looked.

“ You had me as your next of kin, in case of emergency, after Ben…”

It was not only the tone in which Leia spoke, but her last words that solidified Rey’s assumptions. Between that and her hesitant and careful approach, and the emptiness and fluttering anxiety that was threatening to burst from her chest, Rey wasn’t sure if she could handle it, her finger reaching for the button hoping for at least some small miracle that the kind woman Rose would appear, because if she was about to be told what she knew, she didn’t think she’d be able to bare it. It would kill her.

“ You’re awake. Miss Organa you’re here. Oh honey--”

One look from Rose’s face Rey knew the woman was slowly piecing everything together.

“ Alright, let's get this in and sit you up a bit yeah?”

Rey didn’t ask questions, allowing the small womans hands to do its work. She watched as she scurried out, Leia remaining rooted in her place, but out of the way, a syringe making its appearance and then disappearing again. As she suspected the medicine was for her nerves, a wave of calm settled over her, followed by Rose as she sat besides Rey, her fingers plucking at the small brush.

“ Ms. Organa, why don’t you take a seat.I did this while we had you sedated and resting. You got horrible knots. So let's keep that up, what do you think?”

Rey was used to this sort of talk, the social workers would use deflection to let her know her parents, or her mother in particular, weren't coming. She supposed it was to make the let down easier. And in a way it worked. It was soothing she supposed.

“He’s gone isn’t he?”

I think I've seen this film before And I didn't like the ending You're not my homeland anymore So what am I defending now? You were my town Now I'm in exile seein' you out I think I've seen this film before So I'm leaving out the side door

She figured she’d save them both the trouble. Rose was a godsend and Leia looked as if she couldn’t do or say another thing.

“ He is, would you like to see him?”

The sheer thought of him still being in the same place as her, but not really existing, sent Rey’s stomach turning, and poor Rose didn’t have a moment to escape, not that there was much. It was violent, and clawing. And it rolled through her in waves.

“ We wanted to give you the option first.”

It was Leia this time. Who’d finally come to Rey’s side. Her fingers holding Rey’s as Rose held the small basin, whispering nonsensical words of encouragement.

“ No--why would I want to see him. He is gone. I killed him.”

Her cries must have been loud, she vaguely remembered a passing nurse placing a sign outside her door before closing it. Apparently it was something they did. All Rey knew was she wanted to be alone, more alone than she already was.

“ No my dear, you didn’t kill him. You more than anyone else knew how Ben was with his temper, and the rain that, especially up the pass.It was no one’s fault, no one but his own. He drove like an idiot. It could have happened to anyone.”

She could tell even Leia had a hard time believing her words. And yet she said them with no blame, so kindly. As if she really believed Rey was completely innocent.

“ We’d been fighting though, at that damn party. I’d gone by to talk to him, because he wouldn’t answer me. He was avoiding me. And we fought, he doesn’t even understand anything. He would hear me out, he was making assumptions. And it wasn’t until I mentioned Han. But I needed to go. I was just going to let him stew in his own misery for a bit. But he followed me--if I’d just spoken to him. Or answered my phone. I could have told him to pull off.”

---------------------

She hadn’t attended the funeral. Rey was released three days before. Instead she fetched what was left of her life, and with Poe driving headed back to blistering Arizona.

Staying away was simple. At least for a while, until she couldn’t. Demons always had a way of making themselves known. And she couldn’t run away from what had happened and Ben forever.

Of course the weather would be the exact sort she hated when the plane landed, cold and drizzly. The sort that clung to you, damp, unrelentless. Ben’s favorite. Especially if there was a fog.

It took them a bit longer to get off the plane, with an infant, and cripple. Poe’s wheelchair being placed in the back of the plane rather than the front.

“ Just think when I get my Prosthetic--”

“When you get your Prosthetic you wont be fucking useless, this is like having two kids. Come on, there is your wheelchair, hold Brynlee.”

Rey watched as her best friend slid over magically with her three month old daughter, with one arm, she could barely do anything with two, and yet he managed it impeccably, having only one leg.

“ Come on Benny, your mama is in a mood. I think she is nervous. But you shouldn’t be.”

Benny was Poe’s name for Brynlee, whose given name was Brynlee Lynn Organa Solo. Lynn after Poe’s Mother. At first Rey had been livid, but the more he did it, opting to do it quietly, or in the other rooms, or passing, the more she got used to it, and it was a tie to Brynlee’s father. As if her looks weren’t enough.

“ There you are, I’m sorry we are late, oh my.”

Rey knew exactly what Leia meant. Her daughter's firm stare from beneath the dark waves of hair, the bow of her lips when she was concentrating on something, was all her father. She even had his fingers.

“ Yes indeed, she has quite the temper and appetite. Would you like to hold her?”

From the moment her daughter had been brought into the world, with her best friend at her side, three weeks early, Rey had kept her mostly to herself. That emptiness she’d felt when she lost Ben, slowly felt as if it were dissipating. As if pieces of herself were being woven back together. As if somehow through their daughter.It was as if he was with her again. Although she knew she’d never feel complete without him again.

“ Hey kid.”

Rey had become so enthralled in watching Leia with her granddaughter, her fascination making it obvious she too was feeling much of what Rey often felt, and saw. That she hadn’t noticed the approach of Ben’s dad until his frame loomed over her, pulling her into a one sided hug, tucking her into his frame.

Han wasn’t as tall as his son, but he was by no means short in stature, tall enough to provide the relief Rey needed in that moment.

“How are you feeling? Is--”

“ It’s good, it’s good. I’m still taking it easy. It’s weird some days. Like some days I’ll be in the shop working on the Falcon, and it’s like I can just feel him more with it you know. Or does that sound weird. I am getting old, you know.”

She knew it would happen, the topic would be approached, the flood gates would open, the tears would be shed. But she didn’t think it would happen in the middle of Seatac airport. And certainly not because the discussion of the donation of Ben’s heart to his Father.

“ Can I hear it? Please--I just.”

“ Come here kid.”

“You know if you press your nose like this and stare really hard you look like a cyclops.”

He had to be high, she was sure of it. Hux always used him as the guinea pig, and with his sheer size he felt the need to eat the entire whatever the fuck it was Hux was testing. And it never ended well. Never. It was the only logical reason. And now his face was pressed so tightly to her own she couldn’t breathe. And he was laughing the most hideous laugh she’d ever heard.

“ Thank you? I think.”

She couldn’t get much out of him, a hum before a fit of laughter again, and then just like that he was serious again.

“ I liked the cyclops things, you know like in where the wild things are. That was one of my favorite books when I was little. Dad was the one I actually made read it to me nonstop. I think he finally hid it.”

She could only shrug her shoulders, her head shaking gently as she watched him lift his head, his fuzzy gaze taking her in as if to see if she were simply joking.

“ Wait, you don’t know where the wild things are?”

“ Not everyone gets goodnight stories Ben.”

Her past wasn’t something they often got into unless Ben pried. And it usually ended in argument, which was why she avoided it. She often tried to justify bad behavior, and why she was the way she was, and Ben wouldn’t stand for it, especially when it caused her to act a certain way towards him.

“ So what did you have? Didn’t you have something you liked like that?”

“ Yes, I had a stuffed bear, and I’m sure at some point it talked, but no one would replace it’s batteries. So when you pressed its hand the sound sounded like a heartbeat. And at night I’d lay with it and press it. It made me feel safe.”

Ben had never experienced such things that Rey had gone through. Of course his parents had been busy with work. So often he’d get taken to his Uncle Luke, whom he’d been close to until they had a falling out. And then there was the nannies. It was his parents' lack of presence that finally sent him out on his own at 17, as soon as he graduated. While he stayed in the state, he refused to have many interactions other than the ones that were obligatory. Not until his parents accepted fault and their wrong doing, without excuse.

“It got taken away, and I’m assuming it was thrown out. I was told I was too old. And that was that.”

Rey could see his face clearly, even with her eyes closed. Her arms wrapped tightly around Han, who she’d hugged plenty of times in the past at family gatherings. Knowing exactly what his heartbeat sounded like, and the one she currently was hearing was not that. It was Ben’s.

And she later learned there were no Cyclops things in Where the wild things are.

“ That is why you always fall asleep with your head on my chest.”

She wiped her eyes quickly, her fingers pressing against Han’s chest as she released a shaky breath. Part of her having a hard time wrapping around the fact she’d just heard the heartbeat of someone she’d thought was gone forever. A heartbeat she’d longed to hear for the rest of her life.

“ I know kid, I know. Lets get home.”

Rey opted to sleep the entire drive, taking one of the proffered anxiety pills that had been prescribed and collected per Leia. Leia sat in the back with Brynlee nestled tightly and safely between them, sleeping peacefully, while Poe chatted with Han from the front.

It was dark by the time they reached the house, and the rain had begun to pick up. And for a solid five minutes Rey stood in the doorway of the house, listening, and waiting, wondering if she��d made a mistake.

The house was too quiet, Rey kept expecting Ben to jump out from the corner scaring her half to death, causing her to drop her coffee, or throw him a punch.

It wasn’t until she’d gotten Brynlee to sleep that she finally had a moment. Changing, and sitting in the living room, surrounded by so many things that were him. And what should have been overwhelming for the first time was comforting. Seeing so much of him.

Rey found Ben’s parents chatting with Poe, as she expected, dropping into the space her friend had made, handing him the baby monitor, signaling he was on baby duty, minus feedings. Removing her glasses to wipe the gritty feeling from her eyes and buy her more time, Rey finally settled in her place.

“ I want to tell you what happened.”

There was a shift in the atmosphere, a tangible one. And for a moment it set Rey on edge, making her wonder if she was picking the wrong time, or if she were making a mistake. But was there ever a right time?

And if she were going to be living at the Solo’s until she got a place of her own, and moving back wouldn’t it be best to get it off her chest right from the get go?

“ I need you to know.”

“ Rey, we’ve never once questioned, or thought--”

But she wouldn’t hear any of it. They deserved the truth. The truth their son wouldn’t hear. She wouldn’t be silenced again. She didn’t want anyone else thinking differently of her.

“ I didn’t help my mother. I didn’t break my word. He told me if I helped her again we were done. She was sober, and one of the times she was sober before she’d told me one of her case workers was diagnosed with cancer, that they had an amazing Oncologist. That doctor specialized in certain things. I only called her and spoke with her because I needed that information. Leia...Han. Other than Ben, Poe is the only family I had.”

“ You had us Kid…”

Han’s words tore through her like a molten blade, hot and leaving her raw, and for the first time since the accident, it left her feeling as if she couldn’t breathe.

“ Yes, but Ben was making it very clear there would be consequences if I continued to have contact with my Mother, she was causing issues in our relationship. But this time it wasn’t that sort of interaction, but he wouldn’t even listen to me. But in his respect she did fall off the wagon 3 weeks later. But I just needed the doctor's name, for Poe’s leg.”

“ Yea, might not be alive now if it wasn’t for that doctor. Not only was he amazing, but the cost. I’d never have been able to afford it, and that is with my wheelchair, they’ll pay for a prosthetic if I want one, and car modifications.

Rey was thankful for Poe’s chime in, although she was quite sure it was unnecessary, she knew Ben’s parents didn’t need nor necessarily want a play by play as to what took place. They more than anyone knew their son’s temper and what he was capable of.

It was Leia who collected Rey, followed by Han as he ushered them towards the room.

She stilled at the doorway, she’d slept in the room nearly as many times as her own at one point. And if she breathed deeply enough it was like she could smell him there, a notion she knew was crazy.Not with the way Leia was about cleaning. But the more she stood rooted, the more it permeated around her. Making her feel crazy.

“There is a box, well boxes. In the closet. We thought you’d like to go through it”

So that was it, she wasn’t crazy. And perhaps Leia wasn’t attuned to it the way she was, her head nodding as her legs magnetically seemed to draw towards where she’d been directed.

A sound behind her signaled perhaps Leia had wanted to say more, before Han had ushered her out, opting to check on Benny from what Rey could guess, and join Poe once more. There were more than a few boxes, each one marked with his name. But it wouldn’t be hard to figure what was what. Her arms straining to reach the top one, Leia ever the logical one, and Rey had been right, it was the one she’d wanted, the touch of fabric greeting her fingers at the handles nearly causing her to drop the box.

Setting the box on the bed, Rey closed the bedroom door with a quiet click. Before moving towards her favorite window. Their window. Flashes of moments with Ben playing behind her eyes as she grasped the box settling on the floor. She wanted no other distractions. Just this.

She was surprised to find his pants on top, the order making no sense to her, but as she unfolded the clean fold of the heavy material she knew she wouldn’t be able to hold the tears in long, not when remembered the last time she’d seen this exact pair, draped sloppily over her corner chair, the one that she hunched over to study in the earliest hours of the morning.

“ Ben--your pants please.”

She could hear the thundering footsteps, most likely in their kitchen, followed by the giggled that he saved for when he knew he was going to annoy her.

“ No, they’re fine. You worry about too many things Rey. Just live a little.”

His words, had done their job, because she now stood before him.And just the sight of him in his work shirt and underwear and stupid beanie made her a little less annoyed. Especially when he looked at her the way he was.

“ Ben you’re a nightmare. Pick up your fucking pants.Please, because there will be another pair on top of their friends tomorrow and--”

“ And you are too uptight, and isn’t that what I have you for? And to make sure I don’t starve.”

He was lucky she was shoe less that day, an entire mouthful of milk falling from his mouth and onto her shoulder, making her gag. But it didn’t stop him. It never did, instead he simply shoved another spoonful of the disgusting matter before pressing his lips to hers firmly, pulling away only to chew twice and swallow.

“ You won’t ever get rid of me, remember. That feeling. You and me.”

She could only nod, untangling herself from him, unable to take him seriously when he spoke like that. The intensity shaking her to her core. And in the next moment, he was swatting her in the bottom with an old piece of mail. Another thing he promised to take care of, and forgot.

“ Hey Rey--I love you.”

His words stopped her retreat. They weren’t said often, and the fact he’d stopped grazing on his awful bowl of cereal, his voice so soft she actually had to focus or she wouldn’t have heard it, she knew he meant it.

“ I know--”

She always felt sometimes she should have said more, she often professed her love, and they’d decided there wasn’t a need to reply to it every time it was said, there were moments like this, in which sometimes it needed to be one sided.

“ Ben--put your fucking pants away though.”

The simplicity of words after such a moment was worth hearing his laughter again, although the combination between it and his eating is what nightmares were made of, and in the end she put the pants away. And as she held them, she was thankful Leia kept them. But knowing Leia she kept everything.

It didn’t take her long to find it, and she didn’t look at it at all, he had three, one being the one he’d worn *that* night, but it had been very clear, that had been the newer of the set. The one she fetched out was the oldest, torn in one spot, stretched out, and soft. And every fiber of it smelled like him, and she slipped it over her head, feeling the sleeves reach past her finger tips for a single moment it felt as if he was holding her.

There was no concept of time as she sat at the window, a soft knock interrupting her thoughts, Poe sliding through the door on his crutches, face softening at the sight of his friend. “ Lets get you to bed kiddo. Want me to fold these up?”

A wave of panic rolled through her, causing her to jump up from her place, grabbing the pants and few other items that had gathered around her.

“ Okay kiddo, no worries. I get it. You don’t want it smelling like anyone else. I was like that when my mom died. But when you’re done, I’ll tuck you in okay? And before you worry, Han fed Benny, she’s all sorted. Used some of the milk you pumped. So for tonight just rest. Please Rey, if not for anyone else, Benny included, for Ben. You know it’s what he’d want.”

That was the downside to Poe Dameron, he was one of the most entertaining people she knew, he was ravishingly handsome. And many a time Ben thought there had been an interest beyond friendship, until he himself had taken the time to get to know Poe and then he said in his own stoic glory. “ I totally get it.” Because that was Poe. But the thing that annoyed Rey the most, was his way of being right.

So often he was happy and go lucky, she supposed having cancer and later losing a leg to it did that to a person. But he also had a seriousness that he approached with sheer positivity. If he knew he wasn’t right, he didn’t push at it, he might mention it but that was all that would come of it.

Unlike Ben who would argue the sky was green if need be.

But Poe was right, if there was a heaven or whatever, and they really did look over you from above. Perhaps Rey should ask Leia what Jewish believed, but then she could hear Ben rattling on about how she isn’t even really Jewish. Only when she sees fit. Holidays, and the naming of children. Or child in his case.

Another conversation that had lead to endless laughter and the promise if they had children they’d absolutely not name their children anything biblical, simplify because Ben knew it would send Leia into fits, a bit of a fuck you for making his childhood rough. He wanted something modern, but not too fussy. And if they had a girl and fuck him if they did, somewhat girly. But nothing fucking stupid like Fanny, as he heard those names were making a comeback.

But Rey knew if there were such a thing, Poe was right. Ben would have wanted her to take care of herself, and this entire process, returning back to Seattle, making it home again, forgiving herself, that was going to be hard enough.

The morning was quiet, a soft rain, or drizzle as she learned they like to call it here fell softly outside. The smell of coffee lulled her to the kitchen, but the ache in her chest let her know there were other matters that needed to be dealt with first.

She wasn’t surprised to see Han in the kitchen, Benny tucked contently in his arms, her eyes, another thing inherited from her father gazing intently at her grandfather as he walked and poured cream into the cup before him, sliding it across the counter.

“ Who do you think taught him to make a proper cup? And I think this little lady is ready for her breakfast. Go take my chair, I can sit in Leia's. She went to the market.”

Han let Rey get settled, both herself, and Benny before taking a seat in the other chair, his finger reaching out. “ So you found the stuff. I told Leia you might like it. She wasn’t sure. She wanted to donate it at first. But I told her you might like it for something. There are somethings in there, perhaps we can cut them to make a blanket for Benny. I don’t know that might be silly I’ve just seen--”

“ No it’s perfect, thank you Han. For everything. I know this isn’t easy.”

“ You loved him Rey. Probably more than any of us. Hear me out please. You’ve always come here and seen us, and we’ve loved that. We knew you were it for him. And before you argue that you weren’t together when all this happened, none of that matters my son is pigheaded. He gets it from me, well and his mother, but don’t tell her I said that. You were it for him. I know that soulmate gibberish he talked about. But what you don’t know is it’s because that is what I believe, he probably heard it from me.”

Rey could only imagine what her face must have looked like, and she must have been surprised because she heard Benny make a noise, meaning she’d pressed her into her a bit, but she’d been so blindsided by the omission. Han Solo foul mouth, and dry humor extraordinaire, romantic and believed in soul mates.

“Did you know Leia and I weren’t together when she got pregnant with Ben? Bet he didn’t tell you that. Or that she was dating someone when I first saw her, not met her, saw her. And it felt like someone electrocuted my feet, and I walked up to her and told her she was going to be my woman one day. She tossed a drink at me and called me a neanderthal. But I genuinely felt it in my soul. It was out of nowhere, and we’d been sitting two tables away for hours.”

It was weird, hearing the parallels. Even weirder hearing the soft side of Han, but now that she looked deeper, having seen her with her daughter, *their* daughter, someone so reflective of the man they both loved, and had lost, it made perfect sense.

The shuffle in his pocket didn’t go unnoticed, although whatever she’d expected him to produce certain wasn’t what he held. It was in better condition that she’d expected. Considering it held no case, something Ben griped her for endlessly. The sticker of the shop he worked for still somewhat holding it place firmly, although its corners were beginning to pull and fold. Like the petals of a wilting flower, fitting given the circumstances.

“ There is something on there. You can call the company it turns out, and they can save it permanently. I figured you’d want it. Perhaps take it to the Hollow.”

Of course he’d be there, the trek was a bit of a hassle, and how Han had made it after a heart replacement, she’d never know. But then of course he would, if he died making his way to his son’s final resting place she knew he’d have left content.

“ You know he was a weird kid, always running up there to talk to his Grandpa, they’re buried next to one another.And old Chewie. Get bundled, I’m sure that ugly plaid jacket of his is in that box too, I’ll watch the Princess. What you say kiddo? Hang out with Pop-pop?”

The phone felt hot in her hand as she clutched it, tucking it away so she wouldn’t be tempted by it. She dressed quickly, her fingers throwing her hair that she’d grown after the accident into a plait in record time. An old pair of jeans and T-shirt before throwing the Old Black sweater overhead. Han had been right, the eyesore of a jack lay folded neatly in a second box, along with one of Ben’s rattier beanies. “ The perfect lumberjack.” He’d have called her.

With one last check to be sure everything needed for Benny was present, and a reassurance from Poe, Rey headed up the trail behind the Solo’s property. Their homestead sat on 200 acres, most of it undeveloped forest, including its very own small stream and what could have been called a waterfall, because of course it did.

It was so perfectly simplistic, it nearly looked as if it came from a time well before they ever existed, and perfectly Ben.

*Benjamin Organa Solo*

*Beloved Son*

*Father*

*Soulmate to Rey*

*November 19, 1993 - January 15,2018*

two souls are sometimes created together And in love before they’re even born

f.scott fitzgerald

She hadn’t expected it, the star of David of course was a bit of an overkill, and it was probably good that Ben wasn’t around to see it, but it was a good distraction, but Ben would have been horrified, and knowing that and hearing his voice in her head, it made Rey laugh.

She sat on the mossy dirt, the rain having slowed to a light but chilled drizzle. The phone felt like a brick in her pocket. But she knew what she had to do, it was the only way she’d get any closure, if this could be called that. But her anxiety was through the roof.

It appeared Han, or Leia had taken the initiative and charged the phone for her. The homescreen screamed at her, of better times. A picture she hated, but Ben insisted on, but of course he would, it was mostly him, his arm wrapped around her tightly, her eyes pinched closed as his face took up most of the screen his tongue nearly touching his chin as he refused to take a proper picture, in protest of her requests to look like a normal couple. And to infuriate her more he set it to her screen shoving the phone back at her his tone petulant as he tugged her further down the pier.

“ There, we don’t need some typical picture to prove we are a couple Rey, I’ve been inside you 50 million ways, besides this is far better than any cliche picture we could have taken, I can see your freckles, and you can see proof I no longer have tonsils, and that my parents should really have invested in braces, cheap fucks.”

Her passcode was the last step to whatever Ben had to say, his last words. To her at least. And part of her didn’t want to know, but then again she wasn’t sure if their exchange at the party was what she wanted to remember as their last moments together.

It made her wonder, did he know? Did he have any sort of inkling of what was to come?

Her finger hovered, but only momentarily, because she knew if she waited anymore she wouldn’t follow through.

It was static at first, and then she heard it, muffled, but there, rich and quiet, even behind the slap of the rain as it beat violently against the windshield.

“Rey--it’s me. But you know that. Please, pickup the phone. I know you won't, you’ve probably flipped your phone over, or tossed it in the back, and it makes me hate you that you wouldn’t let me install one of those smart stereos, the one with the bluetooth, and navigation. Because you are horrible at navigation, and then you’d have to see my phone calls, and it would disrupt you. But anyways.”

Even in the middle of a fight, Ben knew how to be somewhat humorous and she wasn’t sure if that made it worse, or better.

“Look, I’m sorry. And if you’d just answer your phone, perhaps we could pull off, have a romp? I’m sorry that was crude and I was kidding, unless you know you wanted to. But no really, we can get coffee. I wasn’t fair to you. And it’s obvious we have things to discuss, just please answer me. And Rey--”

She could hear the pause, the skid of his tires, through the other line, and for a moment she was sure the call would drop, hoped it would, because she couldn’t bear hearing it.

“ Rey--I love you. I’ll talk to you later. Bye.”

The phone call dropped, and she wasn’t sure if he knew what was happening, the way his voice sounded, the change in his breathing said perhaps he did, perhaps it had indeed happened and he’d saved her from hearing it. She wouldn’t doubt it. He’d always been somewhat of her White Knight.

But in the end, she couldn't help but be relieved, their last exchange wasn’t completely that of anger. He loved her. Despite it all, even in the end. She knew he knew. He always had been good at reading her, she’d been nothing but an open book from the moment she met him. And it was no different in the end. Even if she hadn’t gotten the chance to tell him. She knew he knew. And that gave her a bit of peace.

“ I miss you so much.”

The trek back to the house left her feeling heavy. But the emptiness had somewhat lifted. And when she reached the living room, she was somewhat surprised to see Han and Benny in the same place she left them, as if a pause button had been pressed. The only thing that had changed was the fire that had been started.

“ Hey kid, better?”

It was the first time Rey realized she had placed the phone back in its hiding place, her hand rotating it towards Han.

“ Yes, Better.”

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atruththatyoudeny · 5 years

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Monthly Reads | August 2019

Oh, look, it's the 28th again! Celebrating the launch of Gucci's new fragrance and the fantastic new pics I had to reread Landslide. Other than that there are 21 fics in this list - and like always: so many thanks go out to all the amazing authors in this fandom who share their stories with us! ♥

Landslide | aimmyarrowshigh , spibsy (lucy_and_ramona) | historical - 1970s - cults - undercover - psychological drama - racism - period typical attitudes - internalized homophobia - PTSD - and more...please read all the tags carefully - 143k The year is 1976. In November, Jimmy Carter will take control of the White House. Americans are meeting Laverne & Shirley at their apartment in Milwaukee. Hotel California diverges from the reign of Kool & the Gang. And the FBI is still reeling from the repercussions of Watergate, the tragedy at Wounded Knee, Operation Family Secrets, and the strategic terrors of the anti-cult movement. That's what Special Agent Harry Styles has been told is the basis of his mission to an abandoned farmhouse in rural New Hampshire. With his hair grown out long and his shirt untucked, he's going undercover to do reconnaissance on suspected cult leader Louis Tomlinson, who has led a group of people out into the middle of nowhere, leaving no record of the life he'd had before. All Harry knows is what the agency gave him: Tomlinson's name, and instructions to figure out what he's doing with the eleven people he brought with him. In the year that Harry spends undercover and under Louis Tomlinson's wing, he learns more than he ever expected.

I Drove All Night (To Get To You) | lovelarry10 | famous/not famous - strangers to lovers - pining - fluff - 23k Harry’s job as a chauffeur for the rich and famous was not as flashy as he’d thought. Late nights having to listen to the ridiculous demands and whims of these high profile clients leaves him disheartened with the world he thought was all glitz and glamour. One night his boss asks him a favour. To collect one last client before he clocks off. Only problem is when that client gets into the car it’s Louis Tomlinson. As in Harry’s all time crush. As in future husband and father of all his children Louis Tomlinson. He can be cool and professional, right?

Live Like You Were Dying | YesIsAWorld | car accidents - love confessions - self discovery - 2k I’m in love with you. The phone fell from his hand, and the world went black.

Calling Clifford | noellehenry | fluff - humor - 10k The summer AU where Clifford has his own peculiar ways of matchmaking.

Home Remedies | kingsofeverything (FullOnLarrie) | friends to lovers - smut - 4k Louis’ hiccups just won’t stop. Harry, his roommate and best friend, is willing to do anything to help.

Traffic Light | dinosaursmate | Traffic Light Party - smut - friends with benefits - 7k Harry, a university student fresh out of a relationship, attends a Traffic Light Party. He knew all about the red, yellow and green cups, but the blue one confuses him. What does DTF mean, anyway?

Down On the Farm | kingsofeverything (FullOnLarrie) | bonfires - farm/ranch - smut - 5k Every Friday night there's a steady cloud of dust That leads back to a field filled with pickup trucks Got old Hank crankin', way up loud Got coolers in the back, tailgates down There's a big fire burnin' but don't be alarmed It's just country boys and girls gettin' down on the farm — “Down On the Farm” by Tim McGraw

Driving On The Wrong Side, Thinking Of You | dinosaursmate | Marcel AU - implied/ referenced homophobia - High School AU - friends to lovers - promiscuity - 25k Louis is the most popular guy in sixth form. Don't get the wrong idea, he's a good guy, and he absolutely won't stand for his friends teasing his neighbour, Marcel.

Restless Lane | jaerie | a/b/o - secret identity - childhood friends - secrets - friends to lovers - angst - 14k Louis had grown used to his boring life back in Mississippi as a stand-in father figure to his siblings. He never expected his childhood friend to show up on his lawn with the heat of summer or that he would remind Louis how much of himself he'd tucked away and neglected. He also never expected to find himself caught up in a tangled web of feelings or secrets that just might break him. Maybe he had never known Harry at all.

Waiting for the tides to meet | nauticalleeds (metamorphosis) | soulmates - pining - miscommunication - angst - fluff - friends to lovers - slow burn - 60k Soulmate AU. Everyone is born with heterochromia — one eye is their own eye colour, while the other is the colour of their soulmate's. It's only when they meet their soulmate for the first time that their own eyes match properly. After a hazy night at a frat party, Louis wakes up to blue eyes and the shocking realization that he had met his soulmate, without any sober recollection. Seven years pass where Louis comes to terms with the fact that he'll never know who his soulmate is. Then one fated summer, a beautiful green-eyed photographer arrives at Louis' workplace, with promises of endless laughter and a familiar feeling in Louis' heart. Featuring a lovely cup of OT5, a road trip down the coast, and a scene where Harry eats a whole head of lettuce. Don't ask why.

If I Stay | Rearviewdreamer | Walk In The Clouds AU - fake/pretend relationship - mpreg - slow burn - 37k Harry and Louis agree to a temporary arrangement that Harry can't seem to walk away from no matter how many times he tries.

Mirror Touch | pinky_heaven19 | Synesthesia - hurt/comfort - fluff - pining - strangers to lovers - 58k The one where Harry owns a second-hand clothing store, and Louis is a radio host. Louis has mirror-touch synesthesia, which makes him experience what people around him feel. He feels a lot around Harry.

In Your Black Heart (Is Where You'll Find Me) | graceling_in_a_suit | a/b/o - omega/omega - pirates - historical - 36k Louis Tomlinson has been lying for five years. His crew sees him as a pirate, a Captain, and an alpha; only two of those are the truth. He was content to let the illusion go on forever, but an omega named Harry Styles just had to join his crew and get his warm-vanilla stink all over Louis' best laid plans. Or: the story of The Captain and The Carpenter.

Supposed to Be | kikikryslee | High School - stereotypes - enemies to friends to lovers - slow burn - hate to love - 26k The Geek Charming AU where Harry's a film geek, Louis' a popular jock, and they both need each other to get what they want.

Meet me where the tulips grow | tempolarriefics | study abroad - fluff - 19k The one where Harry studies abroad and falls in love with both the city of Amsterdam and the boy he explores it with.

When i'm set alight | mixedfandomfics | teacher AU - hate to love - misunderstandings - 14k Louis and Harry hate each other. Always have, always will. No one is quite sure how they will handle it when their favorite students ask them to lead a new LGBT club at their school.

Breathe In, Breathe Out | dinosaursmate | friends to lovers - pining - 12k Louis Tomlinson begins visiting a new pub on his lunch break, mostly because he really fancies Harry, the cute, curly-haired barman. As Louis gears up to ask him out, he doesn't realise that there is a huge stumbling block in his way: Harry is taken, and by someone rather familiar.

I am mad all about you | godslut | med students - coffe shop - 5k Harry is a pre-med student trying to quit coffee. louis pretends to be spider-man to make kids laugh.

Welcome Back From The Friend Zone | 2tiedships2 | a/b/o - friends to lovers - fake/pretend relationship - mutual pining - 32k The one where an idea to create a fake wedding with the sole intent to receive gifts from billionaires took a turn no one, but also everyone, saw coming.

A Life That's Good (series) | lovelarry10 | fluff - kid fic - adoption - light angst - 66k Harry and Louis were married young, but always knew that they wanted a family together. Soon, through adoption, Hope came into their lives, and was later joined by her younger brother Oscar. Join the Tomlinsons on their journey in family life. ① You're My Only Hope Harry and Louis have been hoping to start a family for a while, but it hasn't happened for them just yet. With the surprise arrival of a newborn baby on the doorstep at work, are their family dreams about to become reality? ② Tiny Dancer It's Hope's first ballet recital, and Harry and Louis are more than excited to watch their four year old daughter perform for the first time. ③ Who You Are Things are going wonderfully for Harry and Louis. Their family has never been stronger. When a connection to their son’s past appears out of nowhere, it makes them wonder what lies ahead for the future of their family. ④ We Got Love Harry and Louis thought their family was complete. They were wrong. ⑤ Follow Your Arrow Hope has a crush, but she’s scared to tell her parents, especially Louis. Harry helps her figure out how to break the news to her other dad, who is ultimately nothing but wonderful. ⑥ Summer Love The Tomlinsons are off on a summer holiday before it’s time for everything to change...

Night Changes | colourexplosion | soulmates - supernatural elements - werewolves - light angst - 40k Louis and Harry are soulmates. (With a twist.)

From The Heart | jacaranda_bloom | coffee shop AU - 25k Every Tuesday, Louis spends his day off holed up in his favorite coffee-come-bookshop, writing his little stories as part of the WordPlay challenge while daydreaming about the resident barista, Harry. Each week a new word prompt is revealed and Louis adds to his series of short stories about Henry, the owner of a B&B in the Cotswolds who has curly hair and dimples, Lewis, his long term guest who just happens to be a writer, and Tigger, Henry’s cat. As Louis and Harry’s friendship develops, could his fantasy world spill out into real life? And how does that reader who leaves the lovely comments with the teacup emoji seem to be able to read Louis’ mind? ① Henry and Lewis Louis hangs out in his local coffee shop to work on his weekly WordPlay Prompt, speaks to his beloved muse aka Harry the gorgeous barista, embarrasses himself in front of said muse, and receives a comment on AO3 from his favourite reader. ② Smuturday Louis struggles with this week's WordPlay prompt before finding inspiration, and a date, in an unexpected place, and could there be more going on with his favourite reader than he originally thought. ③ Tea For Two Louis grapples with what to do about his new found suspicions over his favourite readers real-life identity. ④ Life Imitating Art Louis is taken on a very real journey through his fic back catalogue - life has never imitated art so salaciously. ⑤ Entertain Me All good things must come to an end, including the WordPlay challenge. But while Louis has mixed emotions about its end, and struggling to make sense of the final prompt, he is relishing every aspect of his newly revitalised personal life.

#28th appreciation #1d fanworks appreciation #monthly reads #fic rec #my reads #my fic rec #larry fics

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anachronisims · 4 years

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replies!

outoftheclouds said:

Hi! I absolutely love the world you've created. It's so beautifully decorated and landscape/nature looks amazing in your pics (and yes, that fishing hole looks gorgeous!). The caves turned out awesome as well. Also Iove your sims, they have interesting, well-crafted faces. They're good-looking, but not bland/boring. Also, just curious what skins you've used for the green eyes and the sapphire eyes family? They remind so much of some sims I used to have in a hood I lost.

Thank you so much! It’s been a lot of work but it’s so worth it to get things the way you imagine! Making the founding couples look unique and special was really important to me, because this is my third time trying this concept and I really needed to be enthusiastic about the sims themselves and not feel like I was missing the previous iterations. They were not pure inventions, I used photos of real people (all connected to each other, special cookie to the person who figures out who they are IRL! (unless it’s super obvious? possible.)), which really helped make sure they were not all carbon copies with different skins and hairs. I highly recommend using real people as your sim models!!

As for my eyes, they’re all part of the Yumedust Eye Love collection. I’ve been using these since forever, and whenever I see another set that looks pretty in thumbs, I just find it too weird when I put them in the game to see Not Eye Love on any sim :) Rubati and Tammuz have Forest, and Gandu and Junia have Starry.

alraris replied to your photoset “Nadii’ya: “Heya, Gandu! Tobiah’s over there gloating about the fish...”

Thanks, it made me laugh :)

Glad to be of service! And glad somebody gets me :)

mortia replied to your post “ffffoasfsd follow up, or, good morning”

sorry this is happening! been there, done that and ended up rolling back to windows 8 to solve the problem :(

Thanks for the sympathy. Venting helped me process a working plan - executive dysfunction is a major side effect of my ADD/anxiety/depression (as it is for many) and getting a plan visualized helps put a stop to the crisis-panic mode. Fingers crossed that everything stays stable this weekend! If so I’ll be writing a follow-up of the steps I took - not doing everything at once, so I can isolate variables and minimize the deprettying of the game.

kaylynn-langerak replied to your photoset “Tobiah and Nadii’ya: I’m the luckiest Sim alive :) Me: Okay, if...”

These two are so cute!

I love how much they exude totes-adorbsness. Thank you for appreciating them!

niamh-sims replied to your photoset “tl;dr: brown eyes y1d1”

I love the green glow that the fireflies give the cave. Very atmospheric and... creepy? I'd love it if the fireflies (or the effect) was made in to a light or something!

Saaaaame! That’s why anytime anyone gets a want for catching them, we do it! So so so photogenic :)

mortia replied to your photo “For a bit of a change of pace, the Sapphire Eyes family starts their...”

laundry?! how are you doing laundry?!

With Beck’s Laundry Rock, of course!! A must-have for any historical game! The sims slowly build cleaning skill, get kind of a lot of fitness for their effort, and if they do “many,” they can be a professional laundry person and make. that. mooonneeeeeeeeey. (Mine are not allowed to profit from laundry yet, obvs.) Other than that it’s pretty much aesthetic. I have a loose rule that each family needs to do one laundry per person per week, but it’s not strictly enforced. (Yet. Obvs.)

#ts2 #ts2 resources #text post #replies

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egotuberwriting · 5 years

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Long Live the King

*Walks in with a smoothie* Yo. I finally have another fic after being gone forever. And of course it deals with angst ;D

Bless @sidespromptblog for coming up with the prompt that inspired me to write again, and I’m just gonna casually tag @starwarsdestroyedme and @ky-likes-sanders-sides because I saw their expanded ideas in the notes and decided to use those in here too! Because more angst is the best!

I’m gonna be basing King Creativity’s, Mars, outfit from these pics

Tw: Getting sliced in half; though it’s not graphic I don’t wanna risk anyone getting uncomfortable when getting to the part. If I need to add something, let me know.

Free Cookies to anyone who gets why I named King Creativity ‘Mars’

Wordcount: 1832

Things were not looking good in Patton’s eyes.

With Thomas now a teenager and the horrifying thing that is puberty starting to kick in at full force, the Mindscape was a mess.

Logan was swamped with work. While he did enjoy learning everything Thomas learned in school, he struggled to ensure Thomas kept the dang knowledge in his long term memory. He was also in a losing battle with him to make sure he ate healthy and went to sleep at a reasonable hour, though Patton would take the blame on that one since he just wants Thomas to have as much fun as he can and eat all the yummy treats he can too.

And then Anxiety fully made himself known. Sure he was always around, but now he practically took over the driver's seat and is steering the poor boy down an angsty path. Sure, this is the time where Thomas is supposed to discover who he is, but it doesn’t have to be like this! Thank goodness Patton knows how to steer Thomas onto a ‘better’ path, even if for a little while.

Patton isn’t even gonna think about what Deceit will be capable of later on in Thomas’s life. Although he does wonder if that snake is the reason Anxiety is the way he is… And then starts to wonder if Deceit’s influence over Anxiety is the reason his friend started changing for the worst.

The King of Creativity, or Mars, was noticeably getting more and more disturbing, to say the least. While he of course continued to create the loveable fantasy ideas that he was supposed to be known for, he had started to make very crude jokes and began to delve into dark humor. And to top it all off, he started to go a bit insane and took an interest to more ‘physical humor,’ to put it lightly. Patton gags every time he thinks about the last ‘joke’ Mars showed him.

Patton had asked Logan if he noticed these changes in their friend, and while Logan did notice, he only said that this is just a normal phase that will pass. When asked how long it would take to pass, Logan couldn’t give Patton a straight answer since it could be a few years at best, if that.

That, however, was not the answer Patton wanted to hear.

It’s been roughly a year since Mars started falling down the rabbit hole of ‘impureness,’ and Patton have had enough. Instead of improving, Mars got worse, and Patton was going to put an end to this once and for all.

He stood in front of his best friends door, starting to question his if his decision was a good one or not. He let out a stuttered breath as he reached for the doorknob, only to hesitantly pull away.

...No, he had to do this. He had to go through with this. For the good of Thomas, this was something that needed to be done.

Patton is Morality; he knows what’s best for Thomas.

Besides, if he doesn’t do this, then no one would accept Thomas. He wouldn’t ever grow and would devolve into something horrible and would thus be shunned by everyone around him.

Taking a deep breath, Morality finally entered Mars’s room. It was a mess; filled with many journals containing ideas for different things that Thomas could create, good, angsty, and disgusting, and a lot of art equipment. Though Morality would prefer to ignore some of the unfinished paintings that’s in his peripheral vision.

Mars’s room is significantly bigger than everyone else's due to him wanting to wanting to feel like he’s actually in a castle, so it takes Morality a few minutes before he actually finds Mars.

When he finds him, he has his back turned to the other Side and is aggressively painting a new picture with both hands, not at all noticing that Morality stepped into the room. Using this opportunity to his advantage, Morality quickly looked around for Mars’s favorite sword. It was always in the same room as him, so it had to be around here somewhere. To his delight(?), he left it against the wall, almost as if he just left it there while in a rush to paint whatever new thing he thought of. Morality made sure to take it without making a noise, then hid it behind his back.

He has reached the point of no return.

Clearing his throat and putting his happy persona on, Patton tapped on Mars’s shoulder.

“Hey there, kiddo!”

“wHO GOES THERE-” Mars wildly spun around to face the other man, almost hitting him in the face with a paint brush, and didn’t realize that Patton was trying to hide something behind his back. “Oh! It’s just you, Pa! Erm, I’m afraid I cannot show you my next masterpiece because it’s not yet PERFECT! And therefore not actually a MASTERpiece yet. And you know how I HATE showing things that aren’t a perfect masterpiece!”

Patton chuckled nervously, “It’s fine. I, uh… I actually wanted to talk to you about something, if you have the time.”

Mars gasped, offended at the thought he wouldn’t have the time to listen to his best friend. “Have the time?! Patton, you know I always have time for you, my friend! So, what can I do for you?” He asked, throwing the paintbrushes he was holding to his sides.

“Well… I wanted to talk to you about your… recent behavior.” Patton gulped.

Mars tilted his head curiously at him. He honestly had no idea what Patton was talking about. For all he knew, he was acting normal and adapting to whatever Thomas seemingly had an interest to.

“You’ve been, how do I put this? Erratic and really disturbing. The crude jokes and the ‘physical humor’ just isn’t right!” Patton continued with the feeling of dread starting to wash over him.

Mars was quick to defend himself. “What do you mean? I’m just adapting to what Thomas is growing interested in, or at least what he takes in from his environment! It’s fine!”

“No! It’s not fine!” Patton’s breathing started to stutter. “I… I don’t want to do this, but… If that’s what you think, and you’re sticking to it, then you give me no choice.”

Slowly, Patton revealed the sword and held it in both hands. Mars’s eyes immediately widened as he took a step back and Patton lifted the sword so it was above his head.

“W-Wait… Pa… Dad… What are you doing!? Y-You don’t have to do this! Please, think this through!” Mars began to plead, holding his arms up in a defensive position.

“I’m sorry…” Patton whispered as he closed his tear-filled eyes.

“...Long live the king.”

With a quick slice of the sword, Mars, King of Creativity, was sliced in two.

As the two halves slid apart and hit the floor, the Mindscape shook violently. Everything in the room, and probably everywhere else, fell off the walls and onto the floor.

The reality of what Morality did hit him quickly. He dropped the sword and looked at the scene in front of him, dropped to his knees, then looked down to his hands. He did this. This was his doing. But… it was for the best, right?

He didn’t have time to really fully process what happened before he heard the sound of footsteps running towards him and stop at the doorway.

“...Patton… What have you done?” A shocked Logan asked.

Morality didn’t answer right away as he was still staring into his hands in horror. Logan is only able to take a step forward before Morality looks over at him, tears streaming down his face.

“L-Logan… I… I… I had to do it… I couldn’t take it anymore so I… I cut him in half… I-It was the only way… O-Otherwise poor Thomas would have been rejected by others...”

Logan, unsure of how to comfort him, just stood there in the doorway. Why in the world Patton would go this far to stop those intrusive thoughts Mars produced was beyond him, but what's done is done. All he can do now is watch as the two halves regenerate to form their own whole body, and watch as Patton continues to break down in the middle of the room.

What intrigued Logan was that as the halves regenerated, so did their clothes. One half had his clothes turn white, his sash remain red, and had a small bit of gold on his clothes. He looked the most like the former king.

The other half, however, was almost dramatically different. He kept the primarily black outfit, but had a green sash, a silver quiff in his hair, his eyes looked like they were both bruised, and his outfit human teeth and eyeballs.

It was obvious which half had which traits.

While Logan was still observing the halves, Patton managed to get up and stumble to him, falling into him grabbing his shirt before he fell to the floor.

“Y-You need to help me… They can’t remember this. They can’t remember what I did to them!” He pleaded, looking the other man right in the eyes. “A-And we need to figure out what to do with… him…” He then glanced at the more disturbing looking half.

Logan felt bad, which was new, but Patton was right. If they remembered what Patton did, it wouldn’t end well. Also, something did have to be done with the two new sides anyway.

He gently nudged Patton off and carefully helped him sit onto the floor so he wouldn’t fall down. Then he goes over to the now fully formed sides and crouches next to them.

“...They’re gonna need names you know…” He said. There was silence between the two before Logan finally spoke up again. “...I think Romulus and Remus are adequate names for them. Romulus shall be the one in white while Remus is the… more disturbing one…”

Patton had to think about it for a moment, all while still trying to calm himself down, and nodded at the name suggestions.

“I think those are good names… But, Romulus is a bit much, don’t you think? How about just Roman?”

“Well, Romulus named his city Rome, so I suppose Roman shall suffice.” Logan agreed. “Now, Patton, I would suggest you go to your room to calm down. I’ll… figure out what to do from here. You’ve done enough today.”

“...No. Let me at least finish what I started.” Logan looked back at him and raised an eyebrow. “I know what to do with Remus. Just… figure out how to wipe their memories and I’ll handle the rest.”

Normally Logan wouldn’t want Patton to handle anything by himself, especially after this mess, but something told him this was an argument he wouldn’t win, so he allowed it.

Nothing would be the same ever again.

The king was gone forever.

All that was left was the Prince and the Duke.

...Interestingly enough, the painting Mars was working on depicted an army of red exiting a castle to face an army of green, coming from a tower.

#Sanders Sides #Patton Sanders #Logan Sanders #Roman Sanders #Remus Sanders #Thomas Sanders #TS Fanfic

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pollenallergie · 5 years

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Lady Lust: A brothers!Faust & Axel Fanfiction

Sooo I finally got around to posting the next chapter of this 😂😂

And sorry the header and the “keep reading” cut off are missing, I was too lazy to go find the pic in my camera roll, add it, and then log on to my laptop, sign in, and add the cut off as well. 😅😂

Hopefully it won’t take me so goddamn long to get around to writing the next one 😂

Sorry for the wait. Also sorry it’s kinda short.

Taglist: @beyond-the-ashes @siriuslymooned

Elle was left like that, alone and in a miserable state, for what felt like forever. Really it was just a few hours, but time goes by slowly when you're restrained to a bed and covered in your own bile, or it did when she was left like that. Minutes turned to hours and hours turned to an eternity as Elle sat there.

She'd attempted to free herself multiple times, but to no avail. She'd screamed for help, attempted to chew off the belt on one wrist, kicked the landline on the bedside table onto the floor and attempted to dial the number for emergency services with her toes; she'd done everything she could think of and the it only left her tired, still stuck in her restraints, and with a sore shoulder. So she gave up on her attempts and somehow managed to Will herself to sleep, deciding that being unconscious was better than being awake at that moment.

Eventually, her arms began to go tingly and fall asleep from being held up for so long and her bile had soaked through her clothes, the enzymes and stomach acid within it burning at her skin, irritating it and causing it to begin to itch. By the time she was found, it was obvious that she'd have a rash from being left covered in her own vomit for so long.

The person cursed with finding the girl in such shape was non-other than Faust's older brother; a Norwegian born, American raised male in his late twenties with piercing, pale green eyes and skin covered with tattoos and streaks of grime and oil left over from a rough night at work. He knew Elle well enough, although she did not know him at all. He'd seen her one night when he followed his brother. His reasoning for following his brother that night was a pretty solid one as it regarded him sneaking off a night and lying about where he was going. The one condition that the boy's mother gave him in regards to allowing Faust living with his older brother was that Axel was supposed to keep an eye on him at all times, that he was to keep him out of trouble; which was pretty hard to do if he was sneaking around all the time.

So, he followed him one night to find out where it was that he was sneaking off to. Faust had always told him it was for work, but Axel knew better than that. Axel knew that Faust worked at his friend's record shop and, more importantly, that the shop always opened at an hour past noon and closed at two hours to midnight, never earlier and never later, so there was no reason why Faust should be sneaking out at one in the morning for work.

Just as Axel suspected, Faust wasn't going to work, in fact he didn't even really work at his friends record store, sometimes he helped out, but that was rare. Faust actually spent most of his time following around a girl, a girl that Axel would learn from weeks of asking around was named Ellise Vidal, the same girl he found unconscious and restrained to Faust's bed with splattered on the front of her clothes as well as on the bed beneath her.

Axel acted upon instinct when he saw the girl in that state, he did what came to his mind first and immediately went to free her from her restraints. As he attempted to undo the belt that held her right wrist in place, his fingers brushed against her wrist alerting her and waking her from her slumber. She jolted away from his touch immediately as her first response to feeling any touch after what happened earlier was immediate fear and panic.

"It's ok, I'm getting you out of here," Axel told her, speaking with as much of a comforting tone as he could muster, which really ended up being more of a borderline monotonous tone.

He then resumed freeing Elle of her restraints, moving on to undo the belt that held her left wrist in place after he had successfully undo the right side one.

Immediately after being freed, Elle spoke up, saying whatever she thought would get her out of the scene of the nearly hellish event and back home the soonest.

"He stole my car," Were the first words she said.

"What?" Axel inquired, not hearing her correctly the first time on account of the fact that she was mumbling nervously.

"Faust stole my car, he drove off in it after storming out. I have no way to get home," She explained, this time in louder and more clear tone.

"Okay... I uh... I can get that back for you when he comes back. For now, why don't we get you cleaned up and then I'll take you home. Okay?" Axel suggested, his tone becoming slightly less monotonous and slightly more comforting with every sentence he spoke.

"I wanna go home now," Elle said, her tone still shaky, unintentionally revealing how truly nervous and frightened she was.

"Don't you wanna get cleaned up first?" Axel asked.

"No, just wanna go home... now," she replied.

"You can take a shower here and I can throw your clothes in the wash with the sheets while you're in there, you can uh... borrow a change of clothes from me when you get out," Axel suggested, prompting the wreck of a girl in front of him to finally look up at him, to finally make eye contact with him. Her tear-filled, brown eyes met with his own pale green, bloodshot ones as she spoke, still using that shaky, nervous tone.

"Please just let me go home."

That was all that it took for Axel to finally give her what she want, with that he shut up and immediately led her to his car, helped her in, and took her home; getting her they successfully with the help of receiving directions from her. The entire car ride was silent, neither of them spoke. Axel needed to ask no questions or talk about anything, as he figured he'd just force the story of how she ended up like that out of Faust when he got home rather than pester her about it, as he assumed that talking about it was probably the last thing she wanted to do at that time. Elle was the same way, quiet and without questions. She didn't question who this stranger was that had freed her and was now giving her a ride home as she just assumed that he was a relative of Faust's based on his similar looks. Elle assumed that Axel was most likely Faust's older brother as he was too young to be his father, too old to be his younger brother, and physically too similar to him to be his uncle or cousin. She could've asked for his name, but she didn't. She hoped she would never need to know it just as she hoped she would never have another chance to see him because she knew seeing him would ultimately lead to one of two things; either her seeing Faust again as well or her having to talk and about and thus be reminded of what Faust did to her that night. Elle planned on burying what happened to her that night deep into her memory, never to be thought about again, if that was even possible for her.

Upon arrival, she quickly got out of Axel's car, mumbled a quiet "thanks" to him as she shut the car door behind her, all but ran up her driveway to her garage, and entered the code to open the garage door. Elle then retrieved the necessary supplies she knew she'd need to break in, as she didn't have her key on account of the fact that it was on the same key ring as her car keys, which Faust had stolen. After that she walked around to the side of the house and worked on breaking into her own room.

Elle first set down the step-stool she had taken from the garage and stepped up onto it. Next she grabbed the crowbar she had taken and slid it between the windowsill and the bottom part of the frame of her closed window. She then used all of her strength, or what she had left of it after her night of sexual horror, to pop open the window and break the lock of it. She then pushed up on the bottom of the windowpane, opening her window. Once she had done so successfully, she climbed in. She then shut her window and grabbed the bar she used to keep it locked with when the actual lock got sticky and she couldn't use it. She placed the bar in between the top of the windowpane and the midsection of it, keeping the window closed and from being opened up again.

Elle then worked on showering and changing into some new, clean clothes. After that, she threw her vomit covered ones in the wash and hung the leather coat she'd borrowed, which thankfully didn't get any vomit on it, back up on the coat rack near the front door. She then snuck back outside and put the crowbar and stool back into the garage before leaving to go back inside and closing the door behind her. Once she got back inside, she made it a point to go straight to bed, not giving herself the chance to relive the events of tonight within her conscious thoughts as she gave into her exhaustion and drifted off to sleep. Elle decided that she would deal with the emotional repercussions of what Faust did to her that night the next morning when she woke up. Thankfully, her subconscious mind was on the same page, allowing her to dream about the usual things rather than the traumatic experiences she had just hours before. For now, all was right in the world, she slept peacefully and saved all of her worries and grievances for the day to follow, leaving her temporarily carefree and somewhat content.

#v!faust #faust!v #axel cluney #axel cluney fanfiction #brothers! axel & faust #au fanfiction #inspired by dreamskills

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cutiecrates · 5 years

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Cutie Reviews: Yume Twins Nov 18

Before we begin, I wanted to let anyone curious to know that I put in my order from Blippo.com. I was cheap though- so I’m not actually sure when it’ll be delivered!

This months theme: Twinkling Transformation

“Have you ever wished you could transform into something different? Like maybe a magical girl, or even your pet for a day? We certainly daydream about being whisked of into a new exciting world where we get to shapeshift into a something different ourselves! So this November we’re bringing you the Twinkling Transformation box, with some kawaii items that transform literally, an items that will change your surroundings too! The word transform or change is “henshin” in Japanese, so we hope you love your super kawaii items in this months box and that they will allow you to fulfill your henshin dreams!“

The prizes for this months photo contest feature a variety of cute Korilakkuma themed items.

While the Yume Prize box contained a variety of Kuromi and Keroppi products.

Sumikko Gurashi Peg Set

Our first item are these adorable little pegs/clips. These types specifically are the ones people usually use to hang up with some string decorated with ornaments, pictures, notes, etc, giving the area a cute but mature feel.

There are 4 sets available, each with 3 pegs.

Rating: ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

These are really cute little ways to add decoration to something usually so plain and basic. The little pieces are entirely made from wood and the glue is very strong, so I’m pretty sure they’ll hold. These are kind of small but they’ll have no problem doing their duty, I’ve seen tinier ones do it fine.

Right now I’m not entirely sure what I’ll do with them... but I am very happy happy I got Neko x3 besides Shirokuma, he’s my favorite.

Kawaii Changing Pouch

Our next item is a pouch based on a the popular changing sequins trend that’s been going on lately. I love sequins and the idea appeals to me, but besides this I only have one thing featuring it.

Now, these were mostly Sanrio based, but they also have a Doraemon. There was a total of 6 the subscribers could find. As you can see I got the Kuromi and My Melody version. I’ll probably end up keeping it as is in the picture since I like how it looks.

Rating: ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

As cute as this is, the awkward way the pouch opens kind of bothers me. It unzips down one corner and side, due to a flap on the inside, which in a way I kind of like, but on the other hand it’s weird. I’m a bit conflicted on whether I like that or not, but I can definitely use this for stuff so I do like it.

My other complaint is that there are so many white accents (you can probably tell in the pic) and it makes the design look a bit messy. But that’s probably just my opinion.

Costume Pet Plushie

Our third item is perfect for the transformation theme :3 every magical girl needs a companion~

This plush set includes a variation of 10 possible dogs or cats you could get, including ones in full costume or just those with a hood, like mine.

Oh, and if you’re wondering why it’s on it’s side... it needs some “cleaning“ done because somehow it got dirty, even though kept it in the box and it was clean. Also, it’s just easier to get a picture this way.

Rating: ♥ ♥ ♥

As much as I love plushes, I’ve seen cuter. Like it’s cute, but I wish it was more... inline with what you would actually see in Magical Girl series. I was also kind of perturbed over its condition and messed up whiskers (probably can’t tell in the picture, but they are very crazy and bent).

Sheep Microfiber Cleaner

This item, practical item is infused with bamboo charcoal to not only pick up dust, but absorb any nasty smells and deodorized wherever it gets put; for example, on the back of the wrapper it shows 2 of these within a pair of shoes.

Besides this brownish color, it’s also available in white and a pinkish-orange.

Rating: ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

Not only is it the most kawaii cleaning buddy ever, but it works great!

Today we brought in a carpet to put own on the living room floor and we found so much dust and dirt beneath the couches and corners of the room we haven’t seen in forever- and I’m pretty sure I mentioned this, but I have dust allergies and they were having a field day. So I used this little sweetie to help pick up some of the dust.

I didn’t get a chance to test the scent thing though, I didn’t really get any sleep last night so my mind was elsewhere and it never occurred to me. But I did notice it seems to have it’s own little scent, so I’m pretty sure it could pick.

Sailor Moon Cleaner Cloth

I love when they include Sailor Moon items in the box x3 and this is a very practical item for me which makes it even better. Besides cleaning screens, they can also be used on glasses, or a make-shift hair tie in an emergency if they are the normal square ones (like if you have wind blowing your hair all over the place and you don’t have any actual hair things on hand.... I know from experience.)

This was available in any of the 5 main sailor scouts, and I actually think all 5 variations are pretty, so any of them would have been nice. They all have the same design, the only difference being the name written on it.

Rating: ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

On a side note... It actually killed me separating these two items. I know it’s silly but I loved how this packaging looked, I didn’t want to destroy it.

But as it turns out it was super easy to un-assemble and put back together. The bow on the back is just held together by flaps and the cloth is folded and partially sticking in a slot. So if I ever miss it I can just reassemble it. Word of warning though, the points of the ribbon are very sharp >3<

Uh, in terms of the cloth itself... I mean you’ve seen one, you’ve seen them all. It’s very silky smooth, a bit thick, and after today my laptop screen really needed a quick wipe.

Kawaii Mini Mini Memo

Available with Mochi Mochi Panda, Yeast Ken, or Animal Life, these mini memo pads are the perfect companion to the sequin pouch we got to look at earlier. Or just for putting in your pocket if you feel like it.

It has a nicely textured spine and a little information on the series/character on the back. The pad also has two styles of sheets, one vertical with a list format and one horizontal with designs like those on the cover.

Rating: ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

I know this isn’t the most exciting review, but I had a long day and I really wanted to get this taken care of before bed because after all the work I did today, I won’t be doing anything tomorrow.

But to be fair what can you say about a notepad? I get them all the time from these boxes and you can’t really judge the quality of notepad/memo pad paper because you know it works. It’s paper.

♡ Cutie Ranking ♡

Content - 4 out of 5. I like what we got and I was very happy with the practicality and variety of it.

Price - 3 out of 5. I don’t know what all of these items cost, but most of the items are on the small side, paired with 2 bigger items. So I wouldn’t say it was worth it, but the reason the items usually cost so much is because of the name branding.

Theme: 3 out of 5. This box was pretty much a play on words, like rather than items that would cause personal transformation- these items bring transformation to our things. All items but the memo pad (which is a partner to the pouch pretty much) fit that idea, but... I don’t know, as a magical girl lover I really wish they did something more.

Total Rank: 7 out of 10. I like the content well-enough and I’m not displeased by the box or anything. But at the same time, something about it just left a little to be desired to me. It’s boxes like this that remind me of how much I liked the Yume Twins I signed up with a few years ago. We got around 10 items, there was a wider variety, (the mascot twins who I still miss), they would include things like blind box re-ments or charms or accessories....

I’m not saying there’s anything wrong with the box, it’s just that sometimes I find it hard to entirely like it as much as I want to. I always want to love my boxes, and I genuinely like them at the end of the day, but not every single one will appeal to every single subscriber.

♡ Cutie Scale ♡

1. Microfiber Sheep - I’m thinking of naming it Puffy, or maybe Wheats, cause that’s what I end up thinking of looking at it. Anyway it’s so cute and fluffy, I love how soft it feels. I’m not sure I could stand to try to use it to see if it actually removes stench though... I’d feel kind of bad.

2. Memo Memo Pad - I love Mochi Mochi Panda, it always makes me happy to look at. I wanna squeeze it’s stuffed cheeks~

3. Kawaii Changing Pouch - I really wish the booklet showed both forms of the pouch like I did in my pic. A few of them are obvious without seeing the other image, but not all of them. I also wish the sequins were a bit more cleaned up, as I noted during my review of the item.

4. Sailor Moon Cleaner Cloth - It’s pretty and sorta elegant looking to me, I really like how it was packaged too, it’s so creative!

5. Sumikko Gurashi Peg - I’m glad I got Neko but the poses are very basic. I’ve seen them on tons of things I got from these boxes and I kind of wish they were more unique.

6. Costume Pet Plush - it’s cute and really soft, but I still can’t figure out how it got dirty...

Alright guys, that will be doing it for this review. I’m sorry it’s kind of lame this time, but I just couldn’t think of much to say about the last few items. I feel like they were so obvious that it took away much opinion you know? Like if it works it works, if it’s cute then it’s a great bonus :D I promise to do better with the Kawaii Box review I’ll be tackling next, so until then remember to continue unpacking those cuteness boxes~!

#yumetwins #sumikkogurashi #my melody #kuromi #mochi mochi panda

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quarantinebreakup412081121 · 3 years

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Day 6: I slept through the night and didn't wake up crying this morning

So that's progress, right??? I think that the Theraflu helped me to kick whatever fever, etc. I had, because now I only feel sadness, not debilitating sickness. Head hurts a little- the way it hurts the day after I've cried intensely about something. I know this feeling because I had it probably weekly when I was with J, and I'd experienced a couple instances of it with R over the past month.

I'm trying to frame R as the bad guy, but it's still hard because I can't forget about all of the good--- because there was SO MUCH GOOD. I'm coming to realize though, that a large amount of the "good" was the face you put on for a person when you first meet and you're trying to get on their good side- even if you're not being 100% you. He did do some bad things, yes, but I keep finding my mind gravitating to the positive memories. That's natural and that happened with J right after we broke up, even though I knew he was 85% shit bag and 10% nice guy and probably 5% lizard person.

So here are some of the things that didn't, as he said "sit right with me" about him; let me know what you think.

1. He drank- like every day- like a couple or a few beers. I rarely drink, but I thought, if he can hold his shit together, we’re still having a good time- it's all good! Then one day, I was bringing up something we'd had a 20 minute conversation about the day before and he had NO IDEA what I was talking about. No recollection. He laughed and said "I was drunk!" I had NO idea because he seemed totally sober and I didn't realize that he'd had however many beers and like an entire large bottle of wine while we were playing video games with his friends. Come to think of it- I think the only times we were together and he wasn't drinking were when he drove here (I mean, I hope he didn't drink before he drove- WITH HIS DOG- over here.) And when we were out for a date day in Raleigh. He did have a couple drinks at lunch, but that's reasonable. Any time he had a long day or something difficult happened- his first comment was about how he needed a drink. I wish he’d sometimes just talked about some of those things instead of handling it with alcohol all the time. That’s not healthy for anyone and eventually it will take its toll.

2. He drove tired. It was to see me (a 1 hour drive,) which I appreciated, but I'd have rather come to him or seen him a little less frequently if it meant he'd only drive when fully rested. Once again-- he had his dog with him every time, so he was putting them both-- and others-- at risk! This bothered me and I think it bothered him that I was bothered by it. He said he'd fallen asleep- like dozed off for a couple seconds- driving all the time and it was fine... 🤔🤔🤔 That's very much not okay.

3. He texted while driving. He said it's fine and he's okay and it's not a big deal. It stressed me out. Once again, I think he was bothered that I was bothered by him putting everyone in the car (plus others) at risk by driving distracted. But he's a cop and former military (and a white American man) so I guess there is that piece of him that believes he's above the law and he can just do what he wants.

4. He would not talk about his previous sexual partners- not a number, not anything, and he was adamant about it. I didn't like that; I didn't need details, I just wanted to have an idea of how many people he'd been with before me. I just wanted to know that he was taking us seriously enough to talk about real life stuff like that.

5. He would not make our relationship official. We "dated exclusively" for 5 months and then he ghosted me. And I was the one who asked him if we were exclusive during our first month because I assumed we were, but then I thought I should say it and get verbal confirmation before I ended up in a situation where I was dating someone who was dating other people because we’d never officially established those boundaries.

6. He wouldn't add me on social media because he "hardly used it." That was a gigantic red flag and I intentionally ignored it because he seemed genuine and it seemed like something silly to make a big deal of-- but I should have made it a big deal. It didn’t sit 100% right with me, but I figured, not everybody is into social media and I don’t want to make it out to be a bigger thing than it was. But what I realize now is that since it wasn’t a big deal, the fact that he was fighting against it was a sign that he was trying to hide something from me.

7. The only time he did a "weekend getaway" type of thing was when we were going to go to the beach a month after we first met. He was going to pick me up, we'd go to the beach for a few days and stay at a hotel there together. Then he said the person who was going to dog sit while we were gone had just lost their parent so they couldn't do it anymore, but he'd ask some other people. He said everyone he asked was unavailable, so he cancelled the hotel and said we could go to the beach for just the day and then do a Raleigh date- Disney Store, Build A Bear, cheesecake, sushi, etc. instead on the following day. But he's still be stealing me for the weekend. These were the first nights we spent together. After our Raleigh date, which included Disney Store (yay!) but no build a bear because the line was too long, and picking up cheesecake to go, we went to a different place to eat than originally planned because the restaurant wait was 2 hours. When we got back to his place, we watched TV and he gave me wine- I had a couple glasses- and those hit me pretty hard because I am a lightweight lol. I knew we were going to have our first time that night. It wasn't discussed, I just kind of knew, and he did, too... We had been building up to it so it wasn’t out of nowhere. And I was ready- and I wanted to- so there was no issue with that. But looking back, I can't help but feel like he was trying to get some alcohol in me so I’d be more likely to go with it. He did not force anything on me at all, I could have stopped it at any time if that’s what I wanted, but I was totally aware and did what I wanted to do-- this still doesn't change his motivation for doing what he did and that on its own just doesn't "sit right with me." Also, it's convenient how he never sent me the hotel info before the trip got cancelled, and how everybody was unavailable, and how he was able to cancel the hotel so close to the time as well as the aquarium reservation (that I think you had to pay for.) Not saying any of this isn't what happened; it just seems really odd.

8. He would tell me the same stories again and again. I noticed him do it with his friends, too. And they'd just kind of laugh along- as if that's something they're used to. Had he already done some damage to his brain? I was concerned about that, for him and for me, but I figured, it's a quirk. I can deal with it.

9. He would always shit talk kids. Like he really disliked kids. He didn't want to go to the pool if there were "screaming kids" there. He said he did an escape room and there were kids there who ruined the experience. He talked about living with his ex (for many years) and how he got along okay with her kids but was closer with the toddler than the one in school. How do you LIVE with a person for years and then move out, but continue to date on and off, and just kind of get along okay with their kids? And when he met my best friend and her husband and daughter, he was so great with her! Didn’t even skip a beat talking to her and playing card games with her. But I guess that’s all part of his ability to act like the “good guy” when he has to. That makes more sense now.

10. The story of how he got his dog. The day we met he said as part of his sheriff dept rotation he had to work at the animal shelter and he ended up meeting Luna falling in love with her so brought her home with him. Couple months later, he's telling a story about it and said that it was his ex who wanted to get Luna and he only brought her with him after he moved out because Luna couldn't stay in the house alone with the cat and it was better for her to be with him where she didn't have to be crated all the time. So that was a good way to handle it, but that's definitely not the story I was told about him and his bond with Luna. He absolutely loves her more than anything now, but that's just something that there's no need to lie about?

11. He didn't like taking pictures. He said he didn't like his smile. I liked his smile; I still like his smile. It's cute and sweet and him and I always loved seeing it. But I get it, everyone has their issues with themselves. I told him I loved taking pics and that I was just taking them for me- they wouldn't be posted anywhere. He obliged a couple times for selfies and Snapchat filtered pics, but I could tell he didn't want to, so I wouldn't ask- and when we were at his friends' wedding party, there was a lovely floral setup and I wanted a pic together, and he saw the pic I took there by myself and asked if I wanted one of us there together, but I thought I should say no, so that if be compromising with the photo taking and his dislike of photos. I said, do you want a pic? And he said he never wanted to take pics, did I want a pic? And I said it's alright, he'd already been in another pic with me earlier. I was clearly disappointed and he should have just said-- it's fine, give ********* your phone and let's get one. But he said okay and we never got it. And if I had to do that kind of thing forever, I would have absolutely hated it.

12. When we met, he said he wanted to go to Disney with me, and that even though he gets motion sickness, he'd take Dramamine and go on rides with me and he'd be fine. Then another time he said if I could convince his other couple friends to go, me and the girl could go on rides and he and the guy could wait for us and drink 🤦🏽‍♀️. Then another time he said that he probably wouldn't much fun at the parks because he couldn't do anything. I never even asked him again-- these were just things he was bringing up to back out. Disney is my life and if my partner can't- or won't- do park trips with me, what's the point???

13. He said he loved the beach and used to love there and that he goes all the time. Then I told him I love the beach, too! He said that as a school resource officer, it was easy to get time off during the summer when school wasn't in session. I waited. We never went to the beach. He took one day off all summer and that was because his friend came over to spend Friday night with him before a card game competition on Saturday. I only benefited from part of that because I drove up Thursday night (through the worst storm of the year) and we went to the pool for a couple hours on Friday. I thought he did it for me, for us to spend time together... But it turns out, he didn't. He just fit me into something that was already in the works.

14. He didn't have any pet names for me, he didn't really ever compliment me outside of a few times when we first met, or the occasional, "I like those shoes/that dress/your hair like that." He didn't greet me through text with cutesy things, just a couple times when he said "what's cookin good lookin?" And that was it.

15. Presents- this isn't about physical presents, but rather about thoughtfulness and effort being reciprocated. The only presents he ever gotten me were two Build-A-Bears when we were at the mall another time, after the first date BAB plans fell through. We were walking around and the line wasn't super long, so I kind of pushed to go and he tried to avoid it, sort of, but gave in. I got a brown bear with a Captain America suit and R's voice saying "I'm Captain Falcon, huhu." He'd gotten confused once and called Falcon & Winter Soldier Captain Falcon, so that was a little joke we shared. And the laugh was just a cute and silly laugh he'd do. It was adorable. Also got a mermaid bear with a shiny beachy dress because she was as sassy and extra as me! It was so sweet and so fun and I just thought, this is real- I've found someone who gets and accepts me without judgement.

I had given him a matching St. Patrick's day shirt- we wore those together. I special ordered custom "pea in a pod #1" (him) and "pea in a pod #2" (me) shirts because he always said we're two peas in a pod. I tried to get him to wear it, but he said he was saving it for another time and that we'd get pics in them and then it was forgotten and we never wore them together. I took mine every time I visited; it was a staple in my overnight duffel.

I gave him a Grape Soda Ellie Badge Pin (from Pixar's Up) to show him how much I really liked him. I sent him cards in the mail. I got him a huge candle- like a nice $30 candle- because he always had candles lit around his apartment. I got him a beach/pool towel because he would just use a regular bath towel when he went out to the pool. He said he liked mint tea, so I got him a large Epcot Starbucks mug and a container of Starbucks Mint Tea. I gave Luna multiple bags of dog treats and a couple bandanas. I gave him a nice blanket to lay on the couch so Luna could sit on the couch without messing it up- because before that he wasn't letting her on the couch because he said it would ruin the couch. My mom made meals and sent them at least 4 or 5 times. I made cheesecake- his favorite dessert- more times than I can count and took it for him. I also made rice pudding for him when he mentioned that he liked rice pudding. Anything he mentioned or anything I noticed- I was on top of it because I wanted to do things to show him I was listening and I cared. I already had a Christmas present for him and a couple presents for his friends. They’re still up in my closet. I know he wanted the next Mario Party game for Switch so I was going to get it for him for his birthday, along with a new pair of Crocs because he showed me how his were wearing out at the bottom, but he still kept wearing them. I'm also not working right now and he is working- so if $ is a factor- it's harder on my end for this stuff. I never got flowers- even just a couple. He made dinners for me, but I made dinners for him too. He'd buy us Taco Bell sometimes, but it wasn't like a thoughtful gesture type of thing. I guess he isn't a card writer, so that would have been too much to expect... I always talked about my interests and passions and things that I enjoyed- so I would have been super easy to surprise with something- anything! Maybe like a cupcake from the cupcake shop down the road from him that would be closed by the time I'd arrive in town when I was visiting him. I didn't need anything huge, but he just isn't that type of person- not with me. He'd tell me how he went to this place or that place, because his ex wanted to go to a certain place for New Year's, so they went, or she wanted to check out somewhere else, so they went. And it hurt that I was getting a different side of him than she got- especially considering this was so early on and this was probably the best I'd get from him. One day I noticed that Luna's tags were never updated, so they still had R's number and his ex's number as contacts. I popped her # into Facebook and found her. She seems nice. I wouldn't know. The kids seem like regular kids. She's white. I think I already knew that though. I guess I'm 2 for 2 on being given less than I deserve by a man because I'm brown. It's f*cking hurtful.

16. He didn't brush his teeth after waking up; he'd eat first and that's just something I'm not a fan of. It's like a pet peeve of mine, and I refuse to kiss someone in the morning before we have both brushed our teeth. I did it one time-- I'd already brushed my teeth because I HATE morning breath. He hadn't. We were messing around I guess, and for some reason I just did it. Never again.

17. I never slept through the night with him in his bed. Maybe that was my subconscious telling me something was wrong and I shouldn't be there, but try as I might, I never could. We switched sides once, that helped some, but I was still up throughout the night. I took Benadryl to make me drowsy, it just made me sick. I took Melatonin; it didn't help. I had wine before bed once, it didn't help. I guess my body was never going to acclimate to it because it was fighting its way out of something it knew it shouldn't be in.

18. He insisted I sign the wedding frame with him at his friends' wedding party (that's what his friends had instead of a guest book.) I told him he should just do it by himself, but he insisted. This seemed like he was telling me that he wanted us to be long term and that I'd be a part of his life and his friends' life for a while. He gave me hope and intentionally/unintentionally misled me into believing that everything was great and that he thought we were a good fit. He did this until he hit me with "I don't think we're a good match" and disappeared. Who pulls a 180 like that?? Rather, what kind of functional adult does something like that? Answer: they don't.

19. He didn't like stand up comedy. None of it, not at all. He said it's too forced. What the hell does that even mean. Everyone likes standup????

20. He wouldn't plan things, because he said his mom would plan vacations and other things down to the hour and that ruined trips for them-- okay I get that. And he has really intense and negative feelings toward his mother- they don't even speak. A lot happened in his family and he has his reasons. He told me about that stuff and it all made sense and he needs to handle those things in a way that's best for him. But he never stuck to plans with us. Everything was always changing. It was stressful to expect to go to the beach and aquarium and then hear, oh were going to the mall instead and tomorrow we'll do that. Then tomorrow it would be, oh we missed the aquarium window so we're just going to go to the beach. Then on the way to the beach, he pulls into a zoo parking lot and now we're at the zoo. This is too much crazy for me and if this is how he does everything... I can't handle it long term. Or he would say we were going to do things- long term and short term, small things and big things- and I’d get excited about them, but then they’d just never happen and he;d make no effort to make them happen.

21. He's really wasteful. It's kind of a side effect of living along as a single guy and trying to be efficient. He tosses like a few things into the wash or the dryer, doesn't wait for a full load. One time I'm pretty sure he put in two towels and that was it. He only uses his dishwasher, but used almost as much water to rinse off the dishes before he loaded them in the dishwasher as he would to just wash them. He throws out recyclables (not his fault, the apartment is only collecting trash since the pandemic started.) But instead of using like a Brita filter, he just buys shit tons of bottled water.

22. All of his meals consist of the same basic group of foods. Cut up turkey sausage, turkey bacon (half of the time burnt- not crispy, BURNT,) eggs, hot sauce, wonton strips, salad, wontons, beyond meat/shrimp tacos. I didn't love the tacos, but they were the first thing he made me (our first date at his place) and he was so excited about them that I couldn't not love them. He made them again when I met his dad.

23. He wore one of two pairs of shoes all the time. He wore solid polos and khaki shorts or pants anytime we went out. At home, it was athletic shorts and an old Hanes t-shirt (usually a white one, sometimes a black one.) I understand comfort but like... He never tried to look nice for me and I always had multiple outfits with me just in case. He did wear the St. Patrick's day shirt I got for him a couple times.

24. I think he was genuinely bothered by my celebrity crush on Chris Evans. And this isn’t like how I used to be kind of jealous of Taylor Swift when my ex was obsessed with her-- because I knew he was never going to pursue her or walk up to her on the street and leave me for her. Obviously the same goes for Chris Evans. I'm not even going to say anything else about this because it's ridiculous.

25. When we met he said he was respectful of people's passions and the things they like because why wouldn't you be? We even talked about how my ex looked down on me for the things I enjoyed. But I really do feel like he wasn't about my love of Disney or Concerts or beach time... You can never trust men in the beginning. They all just lie until they get what they want and then you see true colors. Why not support the passions of someone you care about? What does that take away from you?

To be continued... I need to make myself eat something. Fever didn't come back today so hopefully it's done for real now.

#Things I hate about you #List #Heartache #Heartbreak #Love #Loss #Quarantine #Quarantine breakup #Quarantinebreakup #Breakup #Summer #Depression #Anxiety

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nostalgic-blood · 6 years

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so i went to california a few weeks ago and...

No, I didn’t go ham. I had friends who were like “HERE HAVE THIS” and then I had this thing, and later went to a convention and THEN I went ham.

Also this was my first non-family trip so I sort of bought a souvenir anywhere I deemed important enough to do so... America, you took a lot of my money. Oh and Disneyland too.

...also I couldn’t fit some things and forgot others in that top pic.

this wall scroll my cat is trying to destroy

a backpack I bought solely so I was able to even bring all this back, and the posters/prints I STILL needed a friend to ship back anyway...

and this cute koishi i bought, all of three of which were from fanime, yes...

Disneyland souvenirs! A friend (Souless) bought the one of the left. You may have noticed Minnie Mouse ears on the first photo! I didn’t actually get them from Disneyland itself, t’was a gift from our Disneyland veteran who led us to many-a-ride and the least amount of waittime possible, Souless’ fiance Kat. :)

And yes Inside Out is my favourite Pixar movie. Watched Coco recently which was really good, but it’s only second to Inside Out. P:

Let’s start off with my ridiculous friends who decided I needed to own more merch:

All of this was bought by my friend Cannibalfood AKA Akira who went to cons and saw stuff I might like but never got around to actually shipping them to me.. and then, came with me to California and brought this stuff. This is why Negima is on there. It’s been that long.

Oh the non-weeb stuff is souvenirs I got with her while we were in San Fran, including Alcatraz touristy photos since we have few pictures together, a taxidermy place where we each got matching stingray barbs, how romantic. The rock was my very first souvenir. I wasn’t expecting on buying anything else in that shop, so it is the most boring thing here.

Here’s a look at the Touhou artbooks!

One of two CDs, this one with best 2hu on it. I recall from reading the back that one of these has some TAMUSIC on it, which has lovely classical pieces.

Here’s a semi-random page with some artwork. I recognize some of the artists!

The other one! I cannot read anything in these books, and yes there’s plenty of text as well as the art.

Some sample of the art! I’ll have to revisit these books later but from first glance I think I prefer the art of the first book? Idk.

Next is stuff given to me by various people. The gacha is from Magus, the guy who I stayed at for about half the trip and spent the entire trip WITH since he also went down to SLO and I also shared hotels with him for Fanime. Awesome host, will do again. 10/10. I have another button from someone else but I accidentally included it wit my fanime merch pile photos, so it’ll be along shortly.

The dreamcatcher was made by SlimeMush’s friend who I paid $10 for, and for some mysterious reason it kept being returned to him every time he tried to send it to me. I couldn’t get a good pic of it alone because my cat kept attacking the feathers. SlimeMush also gave me the Flareon button! Apparently all the Eeveelutions he had went to those whose favourite was so-and-so, and apparently there’s equal amounts of love for all of them except for the two he kept himself because he loved them the most. Yes. Flareon is my favourite. :D

The gacha is a ditto + a ditto version of Sableye.

This Monster Hunter blindbox was given to me by Wolfe, whom I’ve had a few MonHun merch exchanges with so far. I also gave him a MonHun figure from another line, which I’ll elaborate further (because I gave them all out similar to SlimeMush giving out the Eeveelution buttons) and kept whichever was left behind. This is Monoblos! I didn’t fight him all too often so I don’t have much impression of it as a monster, also I thought he was white but w/e, still very cool looking to add to my collection!

Now of all my loot THIS is the stuff I really could have done without in terms of when and where I spent my money. I bought that Incineroar evolution line figure sort of on a whim at a random city in the middle of nowhere, California while on the long drive down to SLO. The Touhou blindboxes, Digimon CD, and RWBY manga came from Kinokuniya in Japantown. Just wanted to buy them because. Even if the Tri series was mediocre in the end the nostalgia still has a strong grip on my heart, especially that music with Kouji Wada. ;_;

And the most touristy thing was buying this wind chime at a gift shop in a spa that I really didn’t need but it was pretty so w/e.

See? Pretty.

The results of the blindboxes. Not the luckiest result as I wanted other characters but you CANNOT SAY NO TO WEEB MERCH!

As much as I have been distancing myself from the show, RWBY’s manga has wondrous art. It also decided to focus on some random unknown side character named Ruby instead of the main characters, which I thought while was quite the bold move, was rather refreshing.

DELICIOUS WEISS BACKSTORY. I recall posting something about this particular chapter on here before. YEEEEE!

So yeah I went to the island prison in San Francisco where AAAAAALL the tourists go. In my defence I have a genuine interest in prisons. Just ask my 300k RWBY fanfiction in which the first quarter of it is set in a prison. It is also not my first prison fic. I put lots of research in that setting to write that kind of shit.

Also all the souvenirs were the most gimmicky things possible that I didn’t think I’d ever use or would just be paperweight. Except this bag! I may actually use this bag! I know!

And excluding the stuff that is too big or I forgot to take a pic of near the beginning of the post, THIS was the Fanime loot! Magus got me the Monokuma onesie which was extremely nice of him and now I am no longer perpetually cold. Ah yes the warmth of the hide of a psychotic bear. So good.

I could not believe the artist who made one of my favourite Aya pics EVER was at the artist alley. I COULD NOT BELIEVE IT. Obviously this was an instant purchase. This was my phone background for the longest of times. She had Touhou artbooks too but they sold in the first twenty minutes of the first day of the artist alley. Wow. My friend may try to snag me some at AX in July, so here’s hoping!

I didn’t see a lot of specifically Weiss prints there, and this was the best of the lot IMO. My only wish was that it was a brighter print, or that Weiss herself being so white would stand out more because it’s the least noticeable thing on my wall atm, which is a shame.

I say this when I saw precisely ONE Aya print (jackpot) and one of another coming up in this bombardment of pics.

THIS IS PERHAPS THE MOST PROVOCATIVE ONE HERE LOL. But it was the only Tenko, and DRV3 merch was the most difficult of everything I was looking for to find. Unlike 95% of Tenko art SHE ACTUALLY HAS VISIBLE ABS HERE, which according to the official artbooks she’s supposed to have, so bonus points for that. I had a brief discussion with the artist too and we both agreed Tenko was the best and Ouma was overrated. He has great taste.

Overwatch on the other hand was all over the place in this con, from merch to art, to cosplayers. There were so many cosplayers they didn’t even have enough time to run through half of the tanks and all the supports at the shoot! So sad, so sad. This piece of Widowmaker is beautiful though, so I had to have it.

I saw this online a while back and really loved this image of all the Overwatch ladies being formal. There was a suit-version too, but for whatever reason I preferred this one. Sadly this print is quite small, as it probably would have benefited the most in being larger what with the many characters and thus detail.

Out of all this mess the one thing I wanted the most and hunted for the most was charms. I found NO GOOD CHARMS that fitted my taste and interest, and the closest were these buttons. Oh, and I met my good friend Raphyninja at Fanime and he gave me EXCLUSIVE RAPHYNINA MERCH! Thus that button being here and not in the friendo pile. ANYWAY. There was a deal, 3 for 5, so aside from the obvious ones I grabbed Kork. I love Kork. I didn’t think I would for that type of character, but somehow DRV3 managed it. He will of course be very far away from Tenko and Himiko though. >_>

Here’s a page from one of the Touhou doujins I got, which in hindsight I maybe should not have got? Way too late I noticed that I recognized the seller who I think showed up on a Tumblr post warning of a creeper at the Touhou shoots. He’d try to take pics of cosplayers in a private hotel room at weird, uncomfortable angles as far as I remember, so uh, oops? I was just so excited at finding Touhou doujin for the first time ever that I paid zero attention to the person selling so hopefully I am wrong and they were just someone that resembled that person.

Also I recognized this artist for their cute Satori Koishi content, but could not find any of their Koishi doujins. Sadness.

I bought two Monster Hunter blindboxes at Fanime because CLEARLY I need more, right. I got a Nargacuga, including the box left remaining in the pile I gave away and the one I already have... I now have three Nargacugas. That’s quite a lot for something I never fought before...

I also got this tiny Zinogre. If we include my buttons I have FOUR Nargacugas now and FOUR Zinogres. The difference is I have fought Zinogre multiple times (I have no idea exactly because I have 600 hours in 4U >_>) and actually really like him! Sadly, in grand tradition like the last time I visited San Francisco (when I was five) I lost something, that being my favourite MonHun button, Zinogre. It is now in the wild with my teddy bear and my hat, forever gone in the California abyss. ):

I got this at the swap meet for 6 dollars. It may not have a stand and is rather dusty, but damn is that a bargain. My only regret is not having the GIGA DRILL BREAKAAAA model instead. I also got that Monokuma bag there too, but that was just because I went there and couldn’t find a single thing I wanted until I saw the bag, which I was on the fence on but wanted to buy SOMETHING from there and got it, thinking that was it ... but then this and the Touhou doujins showed up, soooooo...

Finally this other Nargacuga that was left behind became my monster in that line of figures, the rest in the hands of my friends. It’s actually cuter than I expected, and barely fit in this cheap crappy display case I bought at a Daiso. I moved my dresser a nudge and the Pokemon fell over, so yeah.

You may have noticed a drop in quality in the photos and that’s because I cannot be bothered to touch up such a gargantuan amount of images anymore, not with the time I have. Would be nice tho. SO, THAT IS THE GIANT POST OF SPOTTO’S MERCH, NOW WITH 100% MORE QUANTITY THAN BEFORE! I spent too much money so I might as well get something out of it by BRAGGING about it! Right?

Ye.

#spotto's merch #too much stuff to tag not even going to bother #not all of it can even fit in this one image too!#and I forgot stuff to include as well!

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megaphonemonday · 7 years

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hashtag blessed

approximately forever ago (I’m real slow filling these prompts in case none of you have noticed) @alwayskels sent me this: Ginny is pregnant with Bawson's first baby and her appetite is insatiable! It turns into a thing where like fans take pics with her at restaurants #EatWithBabyBawson. It's all one big joke in good fun. Mike and the team have a field day with it.

And I have wanted to do a multimedia fic for a long long time. I sensed my opportunity and took it. This was a labor of love and I’m actually really happy with the way it turned out. Hope you like it, too!!

read on ao3 | version with image descriptions

The fact that everyone, from bloggers to commentators to fans to people who’d never actually watched a game of baseball in their life, immediately read into Ginny’s placement on the 60-Day DL shouldn’t have been such a surprise. It seemed like every time Ginny so much as changed her coffee order, the public at large was eager to dissect and discuss the incident ad nauseam.

This was no different.

Another elbow strain. Tommy John for sure. She’s out for the season.

No, it’s just a jammed finger I think. They probably wanna make room on the roster, try out some of the newer prospects in AAA.

But did you see her favor her left hip last week? Her landing was off the entire game against the Rockies. It’s gotta be that.

And, of course: Well, what if she’s pregnant?

By far, that was the most popular explanation.

If it weren’t also 100% correct, Ginny probably wouldn’t be so annoyed about it all.

Then again, the sheer number of times a possible Ginny Baker pregnancy had been rumored and reported on—She walked out of a restaurant with her hand on her stomach? Pregnant. Had a less than stellar outing on the mound? Super pregnant. Sent Mike out to CVS to get tampons because she couldn’t be bothered to pull herself together enough to leave the house? Obviously trying to cover up the fact that she was, you guessed it: pregnant—someone had to hit on the truth eventually.

It was cold comfort.

It’d be a little funny if it wasn’t her uterus constantly under such scrutiny. And if she hadn’t had all these hormones flooding her system for the past three months.

As it was, Mike was much better situated to find the humor in the situation. He was currently sitting by her side on the couch, one arm draped casually over her shoulders, reading out the responses he liked the most and counting the number of people who’d finally gotten it right. He could afford to find it all funny, though. He’d only been involved in the parts that were fun for them both.

Which wasn’t precisely fair, Ginny knew.

In the three or so weeks since Ginny’d told him the news, her husband had been on cloud nine. It wasn’t as if they hadn’t been trying for this in the general sense—they both wanted kids, but Ginny was still going strong and Mike was willing to wait—but they hadn’t put a lot of effort into it. (Aside from getting as much practice in the baby-making department as they could.)

So, Ginny’d gone off to Spring Training, not once suspecting what might be forming somewhere behind her belly button.

Not until she couldn’t stop throwing up.

It was so bad, she’d had to skip a start. She’d told Al it was just the stomach flu, and even believed it. Only his skeptical smile and insistence on a doctor’s appointment made her wonder if it was something else.

Needless to say, the skipper’s suspicions paid off. She was pregnant. Nearly nine weeks along.

Ginny will never, as long as she lives, forget the look of awe and tender devotion that took over Mike’s face as she told him, shell-shocked and jittery and still happy as hell, that he was going to be a dad.

His hand came up to cup her cheek, and Ginny could feel the way his fingers trembled. Just like his lips as he swallowed, eyes shining. “I’m gonna be a dad?” he repeated, like he needed to hear it again, just to be sure.

She nodded, covering his hand with hers, and finally letting the brilliant, excited grin spread across her face. “Yeah,” she breathed, just before he crashed into her, his lips stretched just as wide as hers.

And how could she help but laugh when he wrenched himself away, his hands fluttering uncertainly near her stomach. “Shit! Are you all right?”

“I’m pregnant, not fragile,” Ginny promised, though Mike still looked doubtful. To prove her point, she pulled him back in and set about showing him how tough she was.

Since then, Mike had been pretty reluctant to leave her side. Which made the one road trip she’d been on something of an experience. He hadn’t been able to come up with a plausible reason to follow the team to New York and Philadelphia, but Ginny had no doubt that he’d really tried. He’d had to settle for hourly text updates, and when she was too busy to reply, pumping his former teammates as subtly as possible for information on her condition. Since more than one of those teammates asked when Mike had gotten such separation anxiety, Ginny figured he was semi-successful.

Which was why she knew that Mike was secretly relieved the team had elected to put her on the DL rather than risk complications.

If she was being honest, Ginny was relieved, too. Unexpected or not, she’d already grown attached to the little bundle of cells growing inside her. Much as she loved her job, she wasn’t as disappointed to give up a season as she’d once thought she’d be. Then again, after four seasons in the show, Ginny no longer had to battle and grind and push to keep her spot in the rotation. No, she’d probably never move much beyond her spot as the number five starter, but her ERA and win-loss record spoke for itself. She wasn’t going anywhere.

Even after a baby.

So, the public could speculate and take to Facebook and Twitter to talk about her all they liked. They couldn’t change the fact that Ginny Baker was living the dream: a starting pitcher in MLB, married to the love of her life, and expecting her first child.

That was real. That was tangible, unlike all the talk currently flooding the internet.

And real life, the life where Mike’s fingers were toying with her hair and she could smell their dinner simmering away on the stove, that was what mattered.

People said pregnancy was magical.

Ginny had more than a few doubts on that front.

Going into this, she had no illusions that her North Carolina public school sex education had been anything close to adequate. Which was why she’d set out to fill in the gaps in her understanding.

(Not the process of making the baby—she had plenty of experience with that, thank you—but what came after.)

And the more she read about pregnancy, with all its potential dangers and complications—the more horrified she became.

“Did you read this?” she demanded throwing What To Expect When You’re Expecting on Mike’s cluttered desk.

He peered at the book for a second before glancing up to her, his reading glasses slipping down his nose. Which just wasn’t playing fair. He knew how Ginny felt about his glasses.

(In fact, it was potentially those exact feelings that would wind up taking all of Ginny’s research out of the realm of theoretical and landing it squarely in reality.)

“Which part?” he hedged, closing his laptop and giving her his full attention.

That was one of the things about Mike. It didn’t matter how irrational Ginny knew she was being, he always treated her concerns and fears with nothing but complete gravity. And he never tried to talk her down without knowing what those concerns were.

She swallowed. “All of it?”

“Not yet,” he answered honestly. “I kind of figured we had time on that front.” His eyes narrowed and darted down to her flat stomach before landing back on her face. “We do have time, right?”

“Yeah,” she laughed, which was apparently all she’d needed to let this pile of worries melt away for the time being. Ginny wouldn’t forget the things that’d scared her, but Mike was right. She didn’t need to worry about them now. “We’ve got time.”

But that was before she found out she was pregnant.

In the after, Ginny had become remarkably zen about it all. Sure, she’d probably see pimples in places there hadn’t been since she was an acne-prone teenager and later she’d need to pee every fifteen minutes and the mood swings didn’t sound like a walk in the park, which was to say nothing about the changes she’d have to make to her diet, but—

(And it was a pretty big “but.”)

But at the end of it all, she’d have someone who was the perfect blend of her and Mike. Someone who was proof positive of how much they loved each other. Someone to add to their family.

And that was a fair payoff for what Ginny would have to go through to get to that point, she thought.

Just. She didn’t always have to be reasonable about it, did she?

In retrospect, Ginny would acknowledge that she could’ve been less dramatic. But her whole life, she hadn’t been able to eat cilantro without thinking about the time her pop washed her mouth out with soap for repeating the curse Evan Larson had taught her in pre-K Sunday School. Now, she nearly ate half of Livan’s sopes before he remembered to tell her he’d asked for extra of the disgusting herb.

What the hell had pregnancy done to her taste buds?

She’d honestly thought Mike would find the story funny, maybe even figure out how to get it down to 140 characters so he could tweet about it.

(He’d really gotten into social media post-retirement. Eliot had been more than delighted to give him a tutorial that first winter, and soon, Mike could give the best of them a run for their money. Privately, Ginny thought he mostly used it to avoid finishing the memoir he’d insisted on writing himself, but whatever made him happy.)

She certainly hadn’t expected him to send out a panicked group text to nearly every one of their friends and acquaintances asking if they knew of her whereabouts. Since she’d been in the clubhouse, trying to keep up appearances that this assignment to the DL was injury-related, approximately half her teammates came rushing into the dining area to check on her and make sure Livan wasn’t in the process of murdering her or something.

Since the Cuban was too busy laughing his ass off at Ginny’s distress, which, while rude as hell, wasn’t going to kill her, most of them wandered off to finish their pre-game prep. Still, not a single Padre had any desire for their former captain to burst into the clubhouse in a haze of Ginny-induced panic. As team captain, Blip took it upon himself to inform his predecessor that his wife and future offspring were fine and headed home.

It wasn’t that Ginny didn’t feel bad for worrying him, but she also felt he could afford to take a step away from the edge of constant panic. Some time after that haze of blissful anticipation wore off, Mike dove headfirst into preparation mode. He called it nesting; Ginny'd call it something else. Currently, he was in the midst of trying to baby-proof the entire house and refusing to believe that they didn’t need a toilet lock for at least six more months.

(Ginny did her best to distract him when he really got going, and while there was a certain novelty in being the calm and steady one now, there were only so many times she could lure him back to bed—or the couch or the shower—without raising his suspicions.)

So, she listened to her captain and went home to talk Mike down. After all, the team wasn’t wrong in assuming it was only a matter of time before Mike burst into his former domain, wild-eyed and terrified.

When she walked in the door, it was to that exact sight.

Mike had clearly been pacing a hole in the floor, his car keys clutched in one hand, like he didn’t quite trust Blip’s report and was fully prepared to rush out if Ginny didn’t make it home quick enough. Any exasperation she might have felt faded away at the palpable fear etched across her husband’s face.

The keys dropped to the floor when he caught sight of her. In no time at all, he had Ginny wrapped up in his arms, his face pressed into her hair as shuddering breaths wracked his frame.

“I’m sorry,” she murmured, smoothing her hands up and down his back. The muscles there didn’t quite relax, so she rucked up his shirt, laying her palms against his warm skin. By degrees, his breathing evened out, all while Ginny promised, low and sure, “I’m fine. We’re fine.”

He nodded but didn’t loosen his grip on her.

“Are you okay?”

Mike nodded again, and Ginny felt the precise effort it took for him to make the high-wire tension of his muscles loosen, approaching something close to normal. She pressed a kiss to his collar bone and another to the base of his throat, waiting until he sighed.

Finally, she tipped her head back to look him in the eye. There were still more than a few jitters clanging around somewhere in that head of his, but he looked far more settled than he had been.

“The sky’s not falling, Mike. I’m not gonna tell you not to worry, but this is a good thing, what we’ve done. Let’s enjoy it.”

“Okay, Gin,” he said, nodding his agreement. He’d follow her calls for this. There was still a hint of uncertainty in his eyes, but his smile was steady.

That was a start, and, with them, a start was all they needed.

After Ginny asked Amelia to issue a statement about the impending addition to the Baker-Lawson family, she sort of expected to be done publicly talking about the state of her uterus.

She was pregnant. She and Mike were very happy about it. She and the developing fetus renting out her womb for the next however many weeks were healthy.

What else did anyone need to know?

How she’d ever deluded herself, Ginny would never know because within minutes of the statement going live, the news had exploded across the internet. It probably didn’t help that it wasn’t just ESPN and Fox Sports reporting on it. No, gossip sites and blogs had picked it up, too, and run with it.

Which was to say nothing about Twitter.

All it took for people Ginny had never heard of, people she’d never meet or even pass on the street, to weigh in on her pregnancy was a valid email address and an internet connection.

And they were all led by none other than her husband and his crusade to make #BabyBawson a thing.

If Mike was disappointed that she’d nixed all of his social media-based pregnancy announcements, he’d gotten over it quickly. He didn’t respond to every congratulatory tweet, but only because it was an impossible task. As soon as he’d get done with the last of them, a hundred more would’ve been posted.

When Ginny’d asked him to enjoy the ride, she was pretty sure this wasn’t what she meant.

But, he was happy, and it was hard to argue with that.

In fact, a lot of people were happy about this baby. People were excited for her, which was a gratifying change from the usual reaction when Ginny’s name was in the news.

It was pretty overwhelming, too, if Ginny was being honest. Overwhelming enough that she mostly elected to stay off social media.

If only her friends had gotten the memo.

Not that Ginny even minded Evelyn sharing this. It was different when it was her closest friend sharing her excitement.

Ever since she first found out, Evelyn had been her rock. Evelyn was her only good friend who was also a mom. She was the only person Ginny could talk to about all the changes her body was going through or about what to expect next.

After the requisite congratulatory hugs and celebrations and check ins, Evelyn Sanders got down to business, peppering Ginny with enough information to make her head spin. Everything from the various pros and cons of a midwife versus a doula to the nitty gritty details of breastfeeding to the best yoga positions to keep her back from getting too sore once she'd swelled up like a blimp was laid on the table.

“Oh, and we still have all the parenting and pregnancy books, so don’t worry about buying those, either.”

Ginny laughed, the weight of keeping this secret from her best friend lifting off her shoulders. “Ev, the boys are twelve! Were you just waiting for this moment?”

“Yes,” she responded immediately, setting Ginny off again. “I tried to donate them once, but Blip snuck them out of the box like I wouldn’t notice. I don’t think he’ll mind them going to you two, though.”

Blip hadn’t quite given up the dream of a baby girl Sanders, but he’d gotten much more philosophical about it all. With Ev back in school, and getting her business up and running, he could admit that the past few years wouldn’t have been ideal timing to add on to the Sanders clan. Anyway, he and Evelyn were still young; they had time.

Maybe—just maybe—by the time Mike and Ginny were done with the books, Blip and Ev would need them again.

After all, it'd be kind of nice for their families to have two generations and three sets of best friends.

So, the fact that Evelyn was ecstatic for her, that was nice to know, nice to have everlasting proof of, even if the world got to know about it, too.

And anyway, Evelyn’s online exuberance didn’t have anything on Mike’s.

He was an excited first time dad. How could Ginny blame him?

Honestly, though, it didn’t bother her that people were talking about her. Not really. Sure, it was one thing for her husband and friend to talk about how excited they were and an entirely different one for a stranger to do it. That was more than a little strange, but she’d mostly accepted that that kind of attention was a part of her life now; ever since Ginny first started making waves in the minors, people had been talking about her. If she let it bug her, she’d never get anything done.

Just, she didn’t particularly want to deal with it herself.

So, she did her best to shrug off her clogged notifications on Twitter and Instagram and go about the business of growing another person inside of her.

And, lately, fending off some of the truly ridiculous cravings that had taken over her refrigerator and life.

The cravings, when they came, were no surprise. Remember, Ginny’d done her research. If anything, she’d been looking forward to them. Someone who’d already enjoyed her food, Ginny looked forward to a period of judgment-free eating. After all, was eating banana peppers on everything for a week straight that much stranger than some of the “health” foods her trainer had tried to convince her to eat?

She knew what Mike would say, but the little disagreements were what made a marriage interesting.

But while Ginny—and Mike, who had cheerfully taken on the sudden increase in grocery store runs—took these cravings in stride, the same couldn’t be said for the public at large.

Ginny’d always liked food and had never bothered to pretend she didn’t. But, since she was a woman in the public eye, this was often treated as some sort of alien anomaly. People always wanted to know what she was eating: her game day meals, what she had on cheat days, secret diet tips.

Of course her cravings were no different.

Between Ev and Mike, people had definitely clued in and picked up on the fact that Ginny had really settled into the inexplicable cravings stage of pregnancy. There was tons of advice pouring in from all over the world. How to deal with it and what to do when they were impossible to sate. It was all incredibly sweet, even if Ginny couldn’t sympathize with the impulse to send a total stranger pregnancy advice..

Less sweet—more puzzling—was how invested people continued to be in these cravings of hers.

In retrospect, it shouldn’t have been so surprising that run of the mill pregnancy cravings had become such a fixation for people. The public at large was hungry for details—#BabyBawson had trended at least three times—that Mike and Ginny just weren’t providing. Since they’d chosen not to find out the sex of the baby, debates about possible names or future careers were too theoretical to keep anyone’s attention, and even though her and Mike’s relationship had caused something of a stir when they first went public, they’d now settled hard into boring domesticity. Well, Ginny wouldn’t call it boring, but she could see how cozy dinners at home and trips to the farmers market didn’t exactly make for riveting news.

Aside from Mike’s unbridled excitement, the only information anyone really had about Ginny’s pregnancy were the cravings. Where else would all that curiosity fixate?

It wasn’t until she came across Mike taking a picture of their grocery list, though, that Ginny realized just how fixated it was.

He frowned down at the pad of paper sitting on their kitchen table, next to the neglected bags of groceries and his keys. As Ginny started putting things away, approvingly noting that he’d anticipated her sudden desire for Nutella and bananas on toast, Mike squinted up at the overhead light and shifted, his shadow moving away from the table.

“What are you doing?” she asked, already unscrewing the jar. Why wait for toast, anyway? A spoon was good enough.

“Taking a picture,” he replied absently.

Ginny rolled her eyes, not that Mike noticed. She drifted over to his side and propped her chin on his shoulder, peering down at the phone in his hand.

“Are you seriously posting our grocery list to instagram?”

“Our third grocery list this week,” he corrected, bumping her hip with his, but failing to dislodge her.

Ginny just laughed, leaning harder into his side. She didn’t pay much attention as he picked his filter and fiddled with the settings; she was too busy planning on getting him back in bed for an afternoon nap. When he made a satisfied noise, though, she turned her attention back to the screen and couldn’t help but laugh again.

“What?” Mike asked, grinning down at her.

“Our unborn baby does not need two hashtags. It doesn’t even need one!”

He laughed, too, and kissed her forehead. “That’s not what the internet thinks, Gin,” he said, and sent the picture out into the world.

Whether he meant to or not, with just one post, Mike set off a verifiable social media movement. Seriously, when Eliot looked into it, he couldn’t help but be impressed by how quickly the hashtag took off.

The one time she brought herself to look at the search results, it was mostly full of people talking about how cute it all was, how excited Mike was about her pregnancy.

Ginny couldn’t disagree.

He was cute. Ginny’d lost track of the number of pictures of onesies and maternity shirts he’d texted her, mostly without comment but the intent clear. Still, she had every single one saved in a folder on her phone. Going to Target with him had become next to impossible since he always ended up in the baby aisle, staring in awe at all the tiny shoes and blankets and toys.

If Ginny’d thought about it, a picture of that—bearded, take no shit Mike Lawson undone by the sight of some baby essentials—would’ve blown #EatWithBabyBawson out of the water.

As it was, she liked getting to keep that part of him all to herself.

Even if the internet was blowing up with her eating habits as fast as Mike could supply them. She’d leave the social media stuff to him.

But then her teammates had to go and get involved.

Technically, there was no reason for Ginny to keep going into Petco. She wasn’t actually injured. It wasn’t like she had to check in with the team trainers or make sure she was keeping up with her workouts. Which she was; Ginny might be taking more naps than she was used to, but even pregnancy couldn’t completely erase her practically boundless energy.

Then again, she’d spent her entire adult life in and out of stadiums. It didn’t feel right to be anywhere else during baseball season.

Her teammates were generally pretty good about her and her growing baby bump’s presence in the clubhouse. There were enough dads on the team that no one hassled her.

Well, not in ways she couldn’t take.

Ginny didn’t care what anyone said. That omelette was delicious. She even got Jean-Luc to try it and in spite of his refined Parisian sensibilities, he’d admitted she was on to something.

So had every Padre that she’d convinced to take a bite.

Which was, admittedly, a pretty small group. Not that she could blame them considering how territorial she’d been over her bag of Funyuns the other day. Sonny was just too busy smarting from the way she’d smacked the snack out of his hands to admit to her culinary genius.

And really, they were just lucky she hadn’t shown up with the peanut butter and olive kick she’d been on the week before.

In protest, Ginny resolved to steer clear of the clubhouse for a while. See how much they liked having the clubhouse menu go back to skinless chicken breasts and steamed vegetables every meal. They’d beg to have her back in no time flat.

Habit was a hard thing to break, though, and the following day, Ginny found herself back at Petco Park. Frowning, she stared up at the familiar facade outside the players’ entrance. She couldn’t go inside. Not if she wanted to teach her ungrateful teammates a lesson.

So, rather than winding her way to the clubhouse, deep below the stands and concession booths, Ginny decided to stay well above ground. Cheerfully, she circled around to the front gates, calling Eliot as she walked.

It’d been a long time since she’d actually had the chance to sit and watch a game; she might as well take advantage of the opportunity. And since Mike was knee deep in edits to his memoirs, Ginny figured her beleaguered social media manager was the perfect recipient for her second standing ticket.

After all, she’d put him through quite a bit lately. Even though Ginny still replied to the tweets and Instagram posts from her friends and teammates and whoever else Eliot deemed appropriate on her own, he took care of the rest.

And the rest was substantial.

Technically, this was well above his pay grade. As Vice President of New Media in the Slater Management Group, monitoring one client’s social media presence should’ve been well beneath his notice. But Ginny didn’t quite trust the horde of interns and associates Amelia’d hired to form the base of her sports agency empire.

And anyway, Eliot was a bit of a pushover. Supply him with enough snacks, and he’d do anything.

Ginny wasn’t exaggerating. She really could only go so fast, which was its own adjustment to make. In spite of all the eating she’d been doing, she hadn’t put on a ton of weight. It was the bump that slowed her down. Practically overnight, it’d blown up, delighting Mike who already had a hard time keeping his hands off her.

Where before she’d been able to hide the swell in loose tops and baggy sweatshirts, there was now no denying that Ginny Baker had been knocked up, and Mike couldn’t be any more smug about it.

“You popped,” he grinned, coming up behind her as she frowned at her reflection in the mirror. This shirt had fit just last week. How was it pulled so tight now?

His hands landed on the fullest part of her belly, and Ginny couldn’t even bring herself to roll her eyes. Instead, she turned slightly to the side to better observe the molehill that’d become something of a mountain.

“I guess I did,” she finally laughed, leaning back against Mike. “It’s not so bad, right? I mean, as long as I don’t get bigger.”

Wishful thinking.

That’d been a few weeks ago and it seemed like all Ginny’d done since then was get bigger.

She didn’t feel slow per se, but she was suddenly so much more conscious of how she had to navigate spaces. Not only did she have to escape the grasping hands of strangers—Seriously, what about a pregnant woman’s stomach made people so eager to reach out and touch?—she had to plan her routes differently, allow herself more time to make it from Point A to Point B. Ginny could no longer slip through crowds or skip down the stadium stairs without a second thought. Maybe Mike and his worries had rubbed off on her, but she was conscious of every step she took now, careful in the extreme.

If some of her teammates were more than willing to poke fun at her for this, Ginny didn’t really mind.

After all, she was more than capable of getting them back.

(Like he could’ve said anything else when she knew exactly where he slept. Still, Ginny made sure he knew exactly how happy his response had made her the first chance she got.)

And he didn’t keep his petty vengeances to the internet, either.

He did look to it for his inspiration, though.

During the All-Star Break, for those Padres unlucky enough to neither be selected to the team nor have any real plans to get out of it, Mike hosted what he named: “Top Chef: Not-So All-Stars.”

He thought it was funny, at least.

It was less a cooking competition than an excuse to make his former teammates come congratulate him on his impending fatherhood and bring food along with them.

Ginny did taste test every dish, though. Less because she wanted to rank them and more because she wanted to see what their wives and girlfriends had to put up with on a regular basis.

Either being pregnant was messing with her tastebuds more than she’d thought, or her teammates were less of a disaster in the kitchen than she’d expected. Nearly every single one of them produced something that Ginny wouldn’t mind eating. Most of it even passed Mike’s more exacting standards.

“Did you seriously make Lorena eat this last time she was pregnant?” he asked Salvi, peering suspiciously at the casserole dish.

“Make her? It was all she’d eat for four days straight. I though I was going to have to invest in Ore-Ida to keep enough tater tots in her house to keep her and the boys fed.”

Mike still looked skeptical.

“Just try it, old man,” Ginny teased, already trying to decide which of her teammates’ cooking she was going to try next. Omar’s ropa villeja looked pretty promising. “Or Salvi’s gonna think you’re chicken.”

When the first baseman started clucking under his breath, Mike swept a mutinous glare between him and his wife, who definitely wasn’t holding in a burst of laughter, and scooped a heaping forkful into his mouth. After a long moment of thoughtful chewing, he swallowed and pronounced, “That was disgusting.”

Ginny didn’t bother reining in her laughter after that.

It wasn’t just her teammates and friends that got in on the fun, though. Ever since Mike had created #EatWithBabyBawson, people had been adding to it like crazy. Eliot always made sure to tell her when it trended in San Diego.

Which was essentially every other day.

Mostly, it was people documenting their sightings of Ginny in the wilds of the city, creating a spotty map of her movements and the evolution of her cravings from day to day.

Needless to say, as Ginny’s food swings (as Evelyn had taken to calling them) rolled on and on, there were many points of data to add. Hundreds of little incidents between Ginny and fans, all documented for posterity on social media.

And Mike encouraged them.

If they were approached in a restaurant and Ginny was feeling up to it, he always cheerfully took a picture of his wife and her fan and often even sweet talked his way into getting a copy of the photo for himself. Ginny wasn’t unconvinced he wasn’t saving them in a scrapbook somewhere.

He certainly had more than enough material.

If Ginny wasn’t feeling up to it, though, Mike was the best buffer in the world. Even if he weren’t naturally charming, he’d learned over his close to two decades in the show how to interact with fans, how to joke and cajole and make a stellar first impression without doing all that much. It was one of the things Ginny admired about him. While she could fake her way through any number of uncomfortable interactions, Mike hardly ever got uncomfortable in the first place. He was too easy in his skin for that.

Either way, the sheer number of positive Ginny-and-Mike interactions with the citizens of San Diego certainly had to be laid at Mike’s door. The bigger Ginny’s belly grew, the testier she got.

While she was always grateful for fans and their support, she was more than happy to leave their appeasement to Mike. After all, he wasn’t the one growing a whole new person.

And he was more than happy to take that responsibility. Especially since it meant he got to trawl the internet for more fodder for the scrapbooks he swore he wasn’t making.

He showed the last one to her as they sat in bed at the end of a long day at the beginning of August. There were still two months to go until Ginny’s due date, but she couldn’t imagine getting bigger. Lying flat and looking down her body, she couldn’t see her toes unless she lifted one swollen ankle into the air. Which she did to frown at how fat her feet had gotten.

She paused in this endeavor, though, when Mike waved his tablet at her. Ginny obligingly took it and skimmed over the story. When she was done, she handed it back and informed him, “I don’t even wanna know how you find this stuff.”

“Then I won’t tell you,” he replied, prompt, before raising one eyebrow at her. The grin on his face had her melting even before he teased, “Sounds like someone’s got a crush on you. Should I be worried?”

Laughing, even as a little foot drummed away inside her belly, Ginny teased, “As long as you don’t cut off my animal style fries like you did all my cheese plates.”

“Listeria’s no joke, Baker.”

She waved him off, but plucked one hand from his tablet and laid it low against her stomach. What only a few months ago had been a slight flutter against her insides had become a definite kick. Mike’s face lit up and he abandoned his device and scooted down the bed so he could press his ear to the dome of her belly. Ginny watched fondly, even when the kicks shifted to her kidneys.

“Once this thing’s out of me, I’m eating so much brie, Lawson,” she promised.

“I’ll buy up all the cheese in France if that’s what you want,”

“And the wine, too?”

“So greedy,” he laughed, lifting up so he could press a kiss against her smiling mouth. When he pulled away, he said, “Whatever you want, Gin. It’s yours.”

“Just you. Just you and this one,” she said, laying her hand back against her stomach, right next to his.

“Sounds good to me.”

By the end, Ginny wouldn’t say that she completely understood the dynamics of #EatWithBabyBawson, but she’d also accepted that that was okay. It didn’t matter that she had no clue what most of these people got out of it.

There was something, and it didn’t matter that she was on the outside of it.

What she did know was how lucky she and her unborn baby were to have so many people in the world who cared so deeply about them. These were good people who wanted only the best for her and her family, and were trying to make sure, in whatever small ways they could, that she had an easy pregnancy.

(And if she got some excellent restaurant recommendations out of it, that was just a bonus.

Ginny’d be lying if she said she didn’t go out and try each and every one of these. They did not disappoint, either.)

So while her cravings had settled down and she was back to mostly eating like herself, she still appreciated the fact that people took time out of their day to worry about her.

These were good eggs. Ginny didn’t completely understand them, but she was grateful for them nonetheless.

Which was why, even minutes after her water broke, while Mike dashed around the house collecting her go bag and going through his three separate checklists, Ginny sat down at the kitchen table.

Waiting at her place was the snack she’d just made for herself. Nothing fancy— the opposite of fancy, in reality—but she’d really been looking forward to eating it. Maybe it was the prospect of her own child’s nearing due date, but Ginny’d been thinking about her own childhood lately, and an after school classic sounded delicious.

She was just coming back to the table with a glass of water when she felt something wet spill down her legs.

Frowning at the still full glass, reality didn’t set in until Mike cursed behind her.

“Did your water break?” he asked, faint.

“I think it did,” she replied.

And he was off, leaving Ginny to contemplate her uneaten snack.

Mike rushed back into the kitchen, looking pale and eager and vaguely nauseous, just as Ginny fished her phone from her pocket and gingerly eased into her waiting chair.

“Ginny, what are you doing?” he demanded, sounding like he’d love nothing more than to pick her up bodily and deposit her in the car so they could dash off to the hospital.

“Taking a picture,” she snarked back. Her fingers flew over the keyboard as Mike shifted impatiently at her side. Once everything was just how she wanted, she tapped the screen one last time and sent the picture out into the world.

Only then did she turn to look at Mike and, with a smile, say, “What are you waiting for? Let’s go have a baby.”

#Bawson fic #Bawson #Pitch #Pitch fic #i wrote something #slash it should also be #i made a thing #like why was a fic this photoshop intensive?#because i wanted to do the Most™#that's why #it was fun though #i don't recommend reading this on mobile #thanks to everyone who #made sure i didn't have to come up with #usernames

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theeasdaleblr-blog · 5 years

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Fashion blogger and stylist Khushboo Samwani tied the knot last year in May and boy did she sparkle on all occasions! Khushboo chose elegant and striking colours for her haldi and mehendi dresses and the effects were dramatic each time. We love love love her mehendi design which clearly depicts a bride and groom and for her reception, she wore a sparkling and glamorous gold dress. Check out Khushboo’s wedding pics and romantic details of how she met her fiance Samar…they will surely inspire you!

Groom: Samar Desai (pilot) Bride: Khushboo Samwani (Fashion designer and celebrity stylist)

Wedding Date: 1 st May 2018

We met

I precisely remember the first time I met Samar (my fiance). I was in Bandra on Carter road for one of our common friend’s birthday. After cutting the cake, he dropped me home and that was it… but since I had some apprehension we never exchanged numbers.

Fast forward to the story of the exchange of phone numbers; even that is an interesting story…We exchanged numbers on our third meeting, and until then, we would meet only with other friends in a group. My friends and I would go to Bandra to hang out and we kept bumping into each other. I am a friendly person by nature so, I give importance to all my friends without discrimination. Now this had its flip side, as I always on calls with my friends and whenever he would call , it would go on waiting. Not that I did not give him any importance- it just wasn’t the ‘kind of importance’ he wanted. Despite that, he was very chivalrous and always took good care of me. As time went by, we became best friends and he realised that if he wouldn’t tell me his feelings, he would forever by ‘friend-zoned’ by me. And so he did… He also came with plenty of expensive gifts, which I refused and he had to take back…Actually, after this happened, I started avoiding him…and we even started having arguments. However, destiny had something else in mind.

During this time, he was struggling as a commercial pilot and was searching for a job. To add to this all, his dad passed away & it was during this time that I was by his side to support him…And one day, with passion, he exclaimed that he would sit in the cockpit, buy a Mercedes and that I would be at his side when he did so! Fast forward three more years, I met him at Theobroma, and that was the first time I felt that there was something special about this guy. I was shopping for my shoot (I am a professional stylist) and had several bags in my hands. To top it all, my lace was also untied.When he saw me, he gave me a sweet smile and tied my lace, which made me blush like a 16 year old. Later, he even turned my birthday into a lavish event; taking a boring evening to a fun filled get together in Lonavla with the old gang. It was then that he asked me out again and I took him seriously this time.

Wedding planning process

As I had my friend’s wedding a month prior to mine, and being a fashion designer myself, I was making all of his wedding outfits & trousseau. As a result, i was super late for my own wedding preparations. I had just booked the venue, but everything else was pending. I didn’t think wedding planning was such a big deal. But once I started the prep, it seemed to be a never ending process. I was especially particular about the minutest of details whether it was my outfit, or Samar’s outfits, wedding decor, welcome gifts, wedding & reception entry, bride & groom hangers, bride’s getting ready robe, garlands, and the mehendi etc. So it all got a little stressful, since we had never organised something like this before and we didn’t use a wedding planner. I got lot of ideas from the Internet but most of the other things were my creativity. My wedding was planned entirely by me and my family. I designed the decor with a little help from the Internet & it was executed by my chosen vendors.

My outfits

Haldi:- I wore a bright yellow lehenga with a strappy blouse, tassels and no dupatta to add an element of ease and fun. To go with my outfit, i opted for yellow floral jewellery. I went with a minimalistic look complete with a braid that was adorned with yellow flowers.

Mehendi:- I wore an emerald green one shoulder crop top blouse with a lehenga. I was quite particular about the minutest of details of my mehendi: I wanted Samar’s and my portraits on both palms and the figures of a girl and boy exchanging garlands to show the wedding as theme along with an airplane, since he is a pilot. I had called the mehendi artist from Surat and he created the designs for me exactly as I wanted.

Wedding:– I wanted a very traditional look for my wedding. However, in my heart, I always knew I wanted a typical Sabyasachi look. So I made an all red ensemble lengha for the wedding with intricate gold thread work, it was love at first sight! It looked breathtaking with uncut diamond jewellery (polki) and I paired it with a stunning matha patti. My make up & hair was done by Rohit Singh & Mahesh Patil who created a glamorous look for me exactly as I wanted. My sister had made a ‘Here Comes The Bride’ board to hold when I entered the wedding venue. It was super cute! We had a lovely entrance song ‘Din shagna da’. The ‘Phoolon ki chaddar’ used for my entry to the mandap was complete with roses, a few kaliras & pearl hangings. I entered with my groomsmen. Samar’s outfit was designed and made by me.

Reception:- I wore a golden gown which featured gold embroidery & feathers on the shoulders. I teamed it with a hair wreath for a retro look, and diamond jewellery from The Jewel gallery. . Again for reception Samar’s outfit was designed and made by me.

The Venue

Eskay club & resort is an exceptional venue for an outdoor wedding. As I mentioned before , I always wanted my wedding to be stylish and different, like getting married on the water or something exotic like that. However, it was difficult fnding such place in Mumbai, Thankfully, Samar took great efforts to find my dream wedding place. Keeping the venue in mind, we kept the decor elegant yet understated. The decor at the wedding venue included pink & white flowers which made the venue look like something out of a dream, the shamiana & the colour co-ordinated chairs provided a picture perfect contrast.

Advice for to-be-weds

Make a check-list for yourself. Make sure you get plenty of sleep. Brides: drink lots of water, its important to stay hydrated for glowing skin.Delegate, delegate, delegate -hand over work & responsibilities to your friends & relatives a good 2 months prior to the Big Day.Rest well, exercise & eat healthy as you near the wedding day.

Photographer and Videographer

Photo Phactory

Make-up Artist

Rohit Singh

Other Vendors

Hair Stylist: Mahesh Patil

Henna Artist: Jasvant

Decor: Popular Caterers

Wedding Invitations Designer: Pink whistle man

Congratulations Khushboo and Samar! Lots of best wishes for a happy married life ahead…Readers can get their wedding photos published on this blog by emailing them to [email protected]…

The post Khushboo & Samar – A Sparkling Wedding for a Celebrity Stylist and Pilot! appeared first on India& Wedding Blog.

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smoldinopup · 7 years

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SHINee World V - Hong Kong

A fan account I’m just writing for Tiia @gone-with-the-bling, because she wants to read one, even though I’m not quite sure what to write. First things first, this will be once again not really a fan account, because my head is a mess and I can’t point out things in order. Secondly, everything I write should be once again read with a grain of salt, because I’m just one person (who was really exhausted that day I might add) of many.

So, my mind goes a little over the top at times – she said after booking a flight to Korea just an hour ago to see the puppy *coughs* – and in a state of some sort of delirium I thought it’s a good idea to just go to Hong Kong to see SHINee World V after I didn’t get any tickets for their concerts in Japan back in December. For one I really wanted to attend one of their Korean concerts, and I also desperately wanted to see some songs live (Ring Ding Dong, Lucifer, Please don’t go, Odd eye, Ready or not, Replay, and Sayonara Hitori – I still ignore the fact that there is a Korean version of this song and I will do so until the end of time – to be exact) because I have such a strong attachment to the older songs, and just wanted to hear them live in Korean. ;-;

Ticket, flight, and Hostel were quickly booked, and so I skipped university on Friday and went from Shizuoka to Tokyo and from Tokyo to Hong Kong. The whole journey took me around 15 hours in total (one could think I travelled to the States), but that’s another story. Hong Kong…oh well, let me tell you it was a ride, and my biggest adventure until now. I won’t go into details, but I was in a constant state of I want to go home – home being Japan – during this whole trip. It was just a little too much of everything.

Anyway, I was almost too late for the concert *nervous laughter*. I met up with friends on my second day of Hong Kong and I spent more time with them than I originally had planned. They just pulled me from one restaurant to the next one and along the way I lost track of time. The food in Hong Kong is really delicious! Actually, I also wanted to meet up with @5-25 before the concert, but my time miscalculation didn’t allow it. *sad face* ;-;

So, I only arrived at my seat when the opening had already started. The weird thing is, I was on a train with some other Shawols who were like the embodiment of calmness while I flailed around on the inside, constantly thinking ‘OH MY GOD…YOU TRAVELLED ALL THE WAY TO HONG KONG TO SEE SHINee AND YOU MIGHT MISS THE BEGINNING OF THE CONCERT’. However, when I arrived at the concert hall tons of people were still waiting outside, and I was like ‘What? Why? Does the entry start at 6pm after all?’ So at 17:45 I got in line – at least I thought that was the waiting line – until I overheard some Japanese Shawols in front of me who were told by another Japanese friend that this was the wrong line and the actual line was somewhere else.

I followed them discreetly.

Then an announcement was made that the show was about to start in 10 minutes and I was like ?????? How??? There were so many people waiting outside still and the fun thing was, they didn’t let anyone in. The doors were closed and people had to wait, so I just got more confused. I thought the entry was very badly managed. How can there be an announcement that the show is about to start, but the staff doesn’t let people into the hall? I haven’t experienced something like this until now, so I’m still full of questions.

Long story short, I made it in time, some staff helped me to find my seat in the dark, and I ended up next to an elderly lady who may accompanied her granddaughter? She didn’t seem like a fan – why do I always end up next to the elderly??? Does a higher power want to tell me something??? - I loved how everyone was screaming during the VCRs, because no one screamed in Japan during them – at least not at the concerts I’ve been to. Minho appeared? *SCREAM* ONEW appeared *SCREAM* … It was marvelous. I also couldn’t make out a fan favorite, which I highly appreciated. There was just constant screaming, and excitement over all the members equally. Thank you Hong Kong Shawols for being good fellows.

I wanted to stand up as soon as the boys entered the stage, but then I realized that everyone around me was sitting, so I stayed seated, because I didn’t want to block the view of anyone, especially not of the elderly lady - me, an actual nice person. Apparently, my block was an exception since the people on the other side stood up. I’m just so used to standing throughout the concerts that I was a little weirded out in the beginning.

Key had some clothes malfunction going on during the first songs, and was constantly fumbling with his jacket, shirt, pants, wiring? I don’t even know, but he was highly distracted and was gone for the start of ‘Why so serious?’ and walked back on stage when it was his turn. After that everything seemed to be fine, though.

Shawols really partied hard and sang at the top of their lungs to every song – me included, even though I had to remind myself several times to not sing the Japanese lyrics –, but the fan chants were a little uncoordinated. But it was cute! ^^

I hoped that Key might talk some English in between, but there was a woman who translated everything in Cantonese during the talk segments. For the whole ‘ENTERTAINee’ experience I have to say that people should visit a concert of SHINee in Japan or Korea – if they ever get the chance to do so – , since the translation process just takes out a lot of time and fun for the audience and the boys as well, because the reaction of the audience is delayed, and they always have to wait before they can continue speaking. I just realize this only makes sense for people who actually speak Korean or Japanese otherwise it doesn’t matter anyway.

I mean I live for Jinki’s puns! But according to fan accounts from the North America dates and from my own experience at the Hong Kong concert now Jinki didn’t talk that much, especially not really entertaining things more the usual ‘leader things to say-things’. On the other hand, in Japan….he was just hilarious and warmed my heart. He’s not even fluent in Japanese, but he tries and I love him for that, and yeah…Japanese speaking Jinki is on my top five list of SHINee concert things!

I was immensely hypnotized by Taemin’s hips during Odd Eye. I mean damn! If anyone has a Taemin Hong Kong fancam during Odd Eye for research purposes *coughs*…I’d be forever thankful. When I came back home last night, one of my Jonghyun posters was lying on the floor. It was probably a sign that wanted to tell me whom I was supposed to look at. Sorry! :’)

Apropos fancams, I didn’t take any. I just wanted to enjoy the concert, so bear with me. ^^ I’m really surprised that so many pics and fancams surfaced already, though. Maybe the security was non-existent in the pit? Because on my side there were tons of security guards, constantly running around, pointing flashlights at people or telling them off when they saw them recording something with their phones. During Trigger it got really wild and all of a sudden 7 security guards went to the block next to mine and didn’t leave for several minutes. Maybe they had discovered a fansite in between the other concert goers? I was strangely fascinated by the strictness of the security guards and the staff.

Please don’t go. I don’t know, but for the majority of the song I thought Jinki was singing too low? Something seemed off and even after two days I still haven’t figured out what it was. Maybe it was just me. I need to check fancams. Also, Jonghyun missed a note and it made me laugh - me, an actual mean person. I also loved how Jonghyun was all *heart eyes Jinki* during the song while Jinki’s eyes were closed for the majority of time or he looked to the ground. He only started to look at Jonghyun when the song was about to end. One-sided puppy love right there.

Sayonara Hitori *happy sigh* I just love that song so much. The stage outfit looks kind of wonky if combined with the blue hair, though. It makes him look less Vampire!Tae and more Anime!Tae now. I would have preferred it if they had used the smaller stage for his solo performance. He looked a little lost on that big one. But I figured that they chose that option for the smoke machines on the main stage.

I loved that they had the little carts to drive around the concert hall. That was the only time my block actually stood up. -.-“ I also only realized that there were different fan projects going on when I found a banner squished in between my seat after sitting on it for two hours. :’D But the happy birthday singing and the blinking balloons were a really cute touch. It looked and sounded beautiful. I also think the boys appreciated the effort.

Mmhh…what else? Oh, I didn’t mention Minho yet. He said a lot of ‘I love you’s’ and threw a lot of kisses, and waved a lot…just your normal Choi Tenderheart at work. Can’t remember anything specific, though. I missed his Japan Mr. Right Guy pants…haha

Jonghyun didn’t change his pants for the performances again, but I only noticed that during the ‘all white outfit’ performance, because he was the only one in black pants. I hope he will get some rest for his ankle soon, so it can properly heal. All that dancing can’t be good for the healing process. Also, Jonghyun looked so beautiful. He was glowing and I was in a constant state of awwwww – with the exception of the Odd eye performance, because yeah, I got distracted during it as I mentioned above.

SHINee all looked really beautiful that day! I mean they always do, but you know…the prettiness is real. Key – he’s a work of art. He took his jacket off at some point and everyone cheered very loudly. Key – a people pleaser lmao. I’m also a big a fan of the faces he constantly pulls as if he was the protagonist of his own comedy show, breaking the fourth wall by looking into the camera, waiting for a reaction.

The closing video got me really emotional. :( It’s so sad…I can’t wait for the DVD release. *SM take all my money*

After the concert everyone got really hectic, and at first I thought ‘Ah…they want to catch the first train so they can go home quickly’ – me, a naïve human being. Side note, the concert hall is in close proximity of the airport and connected to it also by train – it’s just a 3minute ride or so. However, later I realized everyone was flailing around and getting off at the airport – me included – because of SHINee. Well, I only got off the train to take the next bus back into the city while all the others ran to the departure hall. :’) I don’t know. I can understand while people are going to the airports and welcome their idols or see them off, giving them letters or gifts, but for me personally it’s not something I’d do. To me it feels weird and intruding in some way. Even though I love seeing SHINee’s airport fashion photos, seeing fancams often disturbs me. All that running and screaming and pushing that occurs way too often is not really to my liking. I find it intimidating. So yeah, I didn’t see SHINee off, but went back to the city instead – me, an actual bad fangirl.

I think that’s about it. I don’t regret flying to Hong Kong to see SHINee. The people were fun and so was the concert, and I also won’t play favorites by saying this or that was better. Every concert is something special I believe, so I try to treat them like that as well. ^^

Unrelated to Hong Kong, but I got a ticket for one of Jonghyun’s concert, and I’m ecstatic. I do consider myself partially insane at this point, but I don’t really care anymore. I take everything I can get before I have to go back to the continent that is constantly ignored by SM. Actually, I would love to participate in that concert letter writing event thingie, and let one of my fellow Korean students translate it into Korean or so, but I’m not sure yet. Just imagine how awkward it would be, if the letter gets picked and I sit in the audience, not able to say anything else but 종현아,사랑해! 결혼 하자 !!!! I mean it sure would leave an impression! ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ So yeah, I don’t know about that yet.

#dü speaks #SHINee adventures in Japan

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