#ANYWAY. maybe a miracle will happen and i'll remember it and then i promise i'll write it and it'll be better than the previous rinezha au

[mousmoula]

.

#delete later #i had an idea for a rinezha au yesterday but for some reason i didn't write it down and now i cannot remember it #kill me now #i know it was a good idea because i was tempted to write it #me #no.1 nezha/rinezha hater #(i find them very compelling but i'm also a massive nezha hater) #ANYWAY #it was an au that's all i remember #my brain is trying to convince me it was a fall of the house of usher au but i highly doubt it #i was probably just listening to the alan parsons project album when i thought of it #what other media have i consumed recently #maybe i should just write the cike shawshanking arlong or something. to Cope #ANYWAY. maybe a miracle will happen and i'll remember it and then i promise i'll write it and it'll be better than the previous rinezha au #and by better i mean it'll make more sense

[the-ninja-legacy-whip]

Lots of Jesse questions! (If you don't mind)

This is not meant to be critic on him! I'm really invested in him and just trying to understand him better!!!

Just finished reading all your stories and I can't believe I'm just seeing this now but Jesse is pretty unhealthyly jealous when it's about Cole right? I mean even just mentioning and imagining scenarios seem to set him off. And As much as I live for it when he gets like that, is dealing with that Jelousy going to be in his character development/arc or is it just a part of him? Are there other emotions that would make him have an outburst or is jelousy his main one? Does he get jelous of other things or just in relation with Cole? And most of the cast if not all seemed to like him so fast and jumped to defend him when Kai mentioned him not being much of a help and seem so protective but what Kai said was validated concern? Cole seemed to like him pretty quickly too is it because they spend so much time together? If Cole would have done all these things with someone else would he feel the same way with them or is this only reserved for Jesse? Can Jesse do those little miracles he did with Cole do with the other Core Ninajs too? And I can never really get a read on his character (maybe thats just me) he seems to switch so often with being skittish, to teasing, to confident and so on is that just him? I get that that's depending on situation and when he's wearing a mask but it seems so suddenly like a switch flipped.

Sorry for that long text and bad English!

(Again No critic on him! I genuinely love and adore him! And personaly I'll love whatever you do with him in the future!)

Hey hey, always happy to talk about my boy! And I don't mind a long message, plus your English is fine!! :3

In any case, never feel afraid or ashamed to ask questions!! I'm honored that you care enough about my oc to do so! ;w;)/

And critical or not, it's good to examine the intricacies of a character from time to time, I'd like to think! Though I do promise there is a point, purpose, and payoff to about 95% of all that is set in motion. I, unfortunately, am playing the long game though snksnksnksnk

is dealing with that Jelousy going to be in his character development/arc or is it just a part of him?: Don't worry, he's going to be dealing with it. He's mature enough not to blame the wrong people for his own feelings, and he's not possessive with it either, buuuut the truly most unhealthy thing about it is how it affects his image of himself, and why it's even there to begin with. Outside of his jealousy with the Cole thing, he's also got a pinch of it for Miranda too (for obviously not romantic reasons, and reasons which we'll start to see in coming times), soooo, yes, that is going to have to be confronted and dealt with sooner or later.

Are there other emotions that would make him have an outburst or is jelousy his main one?: Jealousy does set him off more often, but Guilt is the one that truly tends to push him over the edge, and also comes hand in hand with him feeling jealous to begin with too. He, like Jay, is also inclined to get an Outburst from Joy—but for Jesse, that's far less likely to happen. Also remember an Outburst can occur for anyone from any emotion! Jesse, alas, just happens to be most attuned with Guilt and Jealousy (for now, anyway).

And most of the cast if not all seemed to like him so fast and jumped to defend him when Kai mentioned him not being much of a help and seem so protective but what Kai said was validated concern?: Out of the Main Gang, Nya's got the most incentive to like/defend Jesse due to their work on the Council, both logically and emotionally. She sees him on a near daily basis compared to most of the others, and had been the only one to even begin to draw parallels between him and the Fuchsia Ninja prior to the reveal (although only a little).

Zane would be the same way, though probably from a more logical standpoint, if Jesse wasn't so keen on keeping his distance from him (and also Zane was unconscious during the "defense" scene, so we still don't know what he actually thinks of Jesse overall).

Meanwhile Cole, who in this specific instance has just come off the heels of having some huge (and very personal) one-on-one moments with Jesse, was speaking less with his mind there and more from his emotions. (And if we really wanna dig deep here, he already does "like" Jesse a little bit; he himself just has not connected the dots yet)

Also, note that Jay didn't straight up defend Jesse either— only took the realist route and stuck to pointing out the facts related to getting out of their situation (save for calling Kai out on his tone). He personally has no reason to say yay or nay otherwise yet (in a similar vein to how he feels about Olivia too, actually). (also unrelated but holy cow I found that post I was looking for last week what—)

Anyway, I do agree that they all came to like him pretty easily, but a) they were kind of outcasts upon meeting him and thus were quick to latch onto any kind of positive interaction at school, b) they're all still a little lowkey miffed that he kept the info of the Compass from them for so long when it could have helped them avoid some problems sooner, and c) recall that Kai was not there when they as a group initially met Jesse, and on top of the Elemental Compass/secret Fuchsia Ninja thing + Jesse butting himself into Kai's problems when he (seemingly) wouldn't/shouldn't have had reason to, this is why Kai's still kind of wary about him and his motivations. It's mostly just Kai's general vigilance around people he can't bring himself to fully trust, but Kai does have his reasons to voice his concerns regardless.

(Also doubling back to the "latching onto literally any positive interaction" thing, this is absolutely why Lloyd bonded with him so quick too, I won't lie about that haha. Also also, he and Antonia were already friends in the school year before, and now we have Harumi potentially on the track to completely reversing her opinion of him....)

Cole seemed to like him pretty quickly too is it because they spend so much time together?: Yes! Cole has a tendency to grow more attached to people the more time he spends with them—hence why his current crush on Zane is so strong, because he's known Zane the longest out of everyone, and has had the time to have a lot of moments with him before anyone else was even in the picture (which we'll be getting into more detail of just how and why soon too).

If Cole would have done all these things with someone else would he feel the same way with them or is this only reserved for Jesse? ...not to say that Cole would ~fall in love~ with everyone he happens to spend a lot of time with, just those he manages to find a strong emotional connection with as well (such as with Zane + the dead moms thing + other stuff we'll be learning, and Jesse + his pep talks as Fuchsia + the entirety of their conversations in Enter the Aftershock, and also more to come). For example, while they're close as well, Cole and Jay tend to butt heads too often for those specific feelings to form, and Kai aggravates him on a regular basis + reminds Cole too much of himself at other times. These feelings are not so much "reserved" for Jesse than it is Jesse just happens to be very compatible with Cole (but then again, so is Zane).

Can Jesse do those little miracles he did with Cole do with the other Core Ninajs too?: If we're referring to the Effect of Earth/Aftershock, yes! Long story short, he can do it for any EM that isn't Lloyd, Nya, or Skylor (and he's actually already done it for Zane, during his entrance in Book 2 Chapter 50). It just happens to be extra effective when it's used on Cole, that's all.

And I can never really get a read on his character (maybe thats just me) he seems to switch so often with being skittish, to teasing, to confident and so on is that just him? I get that that's depending on situation and when he's wearing a mask but it seems so suddenly like a switch flipped.: Yeaaaah this is actually a plot point during Season 2 (as not only is he working on being more consistently confident, there's a character that literally rubs his flip-floppy attitude in his face rip) but really the best and quickest way to explain is that Jesse's more 'skittish' self is a result of him repressing his element (in a similar but far less drastic fashion to Lloyd's repression of the Green Element). By him trying to be less Surprising (which is primarily when he's not under a mask or on a stage), he isn't really being true to himself, and this is also a factor for why he doesn't fully have his True Potential.

#ninjago oc #oc: jesse marvell #fuchsia ninja #the lego ninjago movie #tlnm #legacyverse #the ninja legacy whip #info tag #long post

[sequesteredschizo]

cw // suicidal ideation & self harm 

thought too much about where I should post these words @ and where to do it if I did

Decided on here, both to challenge myself to be honest about how I'm doing and as a small private testament to myself, esp considering I can't guarantee I'll remember any of this later if I don't 

A few months ago I decided I was supposed to kill myself on April 26th 2024. I think something about doing that nullified certain anxieties of mine at times, for better and for worse. I thought the worst thing I could do that would ruin everyone I cared about was already going to happen, so I was able to loosen my grip somewhat on the people-pleasing and the social anxiety and the agoraphobia- maybe a sort of subconscious 'if something doesn't change, i will be dying. So I might as well try while I'm still around.' I've been callous and I've been unstable, but I also took risks (or, actions I that felt like risks to me) that landed me with more life-affirming results than I could have ever anticipated.

I sent texts I thought were annoying and stupid to people I wished I talked to more, I tried to eat like a well-adjusted adult person, I was honest with my dad about how hellish my disability was making my life for the first time. Etc etc. Anything to connect, anything to survive. I didn't care anymore. it felt like the end of the world. To everyone else it probably seemed like I was finally re-entering society, if anyone thought much of it at all (unlikely, imo.) At one point, I hurt myself worse than I ever had before, and without really meaning to, haven't done it since. It feels now like a microcosm of the bigger picture, just by coincidence. Doing better wasn't necessarily my intention, but it was a consequence of thinking I was fucking it all up one last time. Might as well throw all the chips in.

Last weekend I attended a wedding out-of-state for a relative I hadn't seen in years knowing id meet countless new faces and I didn't even freak out. And I was terrified, and I didn't want to go there and I didn't want to stay here but I did it anyways. Turns out I don't think I've ever felt so loved and welcomed and appreciated in my life. The people I reached out to on a whim, because what was the worst that could happen? Some of them actually respond back, fucking shocker. My dad is trying to stop pretending I don't exist. I'm a little less malnourished. So those are all good developments.

I feel like I reached up into an empty sky with the very last dregs of energy I had and by some miracle, just enough of the universe reached back. I don't and didnt want to scar and endanger my struggling loved ones because I couldn't be strong enough to deal with myself. It had to be my last option, after truly trying everything I could. I didn't even do much, and I didn't expect it to work. I didn't expect my favorite band to be dropping new shit on my due date. I didn't know that I would really honestly from the bottom of my heart not want to leave this fucked up horrible beautiful tragic world behind. 

I know there's always going to be a part of me that expects me to commit. it's always been easier for me to hurt myself than help myself. I've written a lot of suicide notes throughout my life. This is the first time I've ever done the opposite, I guess? This is supposed to be my promise to me that I want to live. I need to. Its really hard to admit that to myself. I'm pretty sure I can do it tho.

I think (and almost hope) that the handful of you who follow this stupid little blog wont read this, but I posted it here because theres too many people everywhere else. It's directed at myself anyway.

a distant yell into a cacophonous void, in hopes that typing it will act as a metaphysical vehicle for manifesting it in the collective subconscious:

TRANS PEOPLE DONT KILL YOURSELF!!!!!! PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[lynihana]

━━ DAISIES ఌ︎

━━ contains. mentions of miscarriage, abortion, angst.

━━ an. have some badly written angst that's part of my upcoming flower event lol.

❛ ━━･❪MITSUYA TAKASHI ❫ ･━━ ❜

“takashi... i'm s..sorry...” as you choked out a sob while fisting the hospital blanket “i'm sorry takashi....because of me we lost our little blessing..” your hands went to your stomach, clenching it while crying and sobbing saying sorry over and over to mitsuya while he just sat there still not processing what the doctor just told him earlier.

mitsuya held back a sobs for you “it's okay y/n.... it isn't your fault, alright?. so please don't cry... we might have lost our little miracle but it's alright, okay?. I still have you, you're my most precious miracle.” as mitsuya put both of his hands on your cheeks wiping away all your tears with his thumbs, wiping them softly “I hate seeing you hurt and crying.” he said as while smiling at you– trying to lift up your mood and comforting you “I know mitsuya but... If I weren't so reckless.... maybe our baby would still be here..” you cried again and mitsuya finally let out his tears, tears flowing down on each of your face like rivers. he remembers how much excited and joyful he was when he first heard you were pregnant.

“hey... is everything alright?, you've been looking more and more anxious as the day pas by...” mitsuya asked you with a worried tone while his face shows concern “a-ah! nothing's wrong takashi!” you replied to him as you let out a forced chuckle while sweating bullets “I know you y/n... we've been together for so long so I know when there's something up with you or if you're worried over something.... So please do tell me if something is bothering you.” mitsuya said

‘he really know me so well huh?... I guess there's no escaping it since he's bound to find out anyway...’ you gulped “w...well takashi... you know how we erm.... slept together when we were drunk right??..” you said anxiously “uh huh, why? what's wrong? did we I hurt you in anyway when we were doing it?” he said worried that he might have accidentally hurt you while making love with you “N-no! you didn't hurt me, it was just uhm...” you inhaled and exhaled deeply while he just looked at you with concerned eyes “I'm pregnant.” you finally did it. you told him what you've been trying to hide for this past 2 months while mitsuya just stood there like a statue.

he knows it... well technically have some suspicious that you're pregnant since your tummy started swelling and having a weird taste for foods. you looked at mitsuya's expression worried “takashi...please give the baby a chance... i-i'm sure it won't be that much hard to take care of! and I promise I'll make sure the baby would stay away from you-” you were suddenly cutted off by him “we're gonna keep it y/n.” he chuckled at you while you just stood there “e-eh?” mitsuya smiled at your reaction “did my reaction scared you that much??” mitsuya teased you “well of course it did! what kind of reaction was that?,I thought you want me to have a abortion...” you scolded him “well I don't want you to, alright? I've been wanting to start a family with someone as amazing as you! and I bet our baby Is gonna be amazing too! Not to mention that they're gonna be so drop dead gorgeous like you!” he said proudly with sparkles around him and you looked at him with adore and an awe look at your eyes because he's just so cute at this moment and you're currently thanking god for giving mitsuya to someone like you.

“taka-chan.... you seem more joyful than usual today... did something happen?” hakkai asked the purple-nette, this wasn't the first time since he were like this when the both of you got married, you truly did make mitsuya more happy and positive after marrying him and he's thankful for that.

“hm?, oh well it's just that y/n told me she's pregnant yesterday! can't you believe it hakkai?! I'm gonna be a dad!” mitsuya said with a bright and wide smile present on his face while hakkai just fell off his chair with a thud, shocked by the sudden news “eh?!!??! Really taka-chan??!!!” he said with a excited tone since he's gonna be a uncle! and mitsuya just nodded at him happily.

hakkai quickly asked questions and telling mitsuya his future plans with his soon-to-be-born nephew, while mitsuya proudly listen to him and boasting about you and his baby to hakkai. Both of them having a flowery and sparkly aura around them.

mitsuya can't wait to tell the others! He's sure they're gonna love this news!

mitsuya quickly rushed out of his office when he heard that you got into a accident, worried that something bad might happen to you and his little miracle.

He decided to just ride his motorcycle and sped up to the hospital, when he finally got there he saw a doctor and a nurse that came out of the operating room where you're currently in “Doctor!” he ran towards the doctor, sweating. the doctor looked at him and figuring out that the man Infront of him must be your husband “yes sir? What is it?...” the doctor asked mitsuya with a sad tone “how's my wife?! is she ok?! a-and what about our baby?!!” mitsuya asked while panicking and the doctor just looked at him with a sad and pitying glance and mitsuya knew he was about to hear the most upsetting news he's about to hear “we're sorry, we did everything we can to save your baby but the baby died on the way here in the hospital...” mitsuya's hands shake at what he just heard and his eyes widened “what about my wife??!! please tell me she's ok!!” he shouted, asking how you are because if he lose you then he's sure he'll go insane. his hands quickly went to the doctor's should; gripping it while looking at the doctor with widened eyes and panicked face “Please tell me she's ok!!” the doctor calmly look at mitsuya while nodding at him “your wife is okay... we managed to save her.” the doctor calmly told mitsuya

mitsuya heaved out a heavy sigh “but please calm down.” the doctor told mitsuya and he nodded, trying to compose his posture. this was the rare moments where he lose his calm composure. “please let me in, let me see my wife” he demanded to the doctor “You can see her, after we're done moving her to a comfortable room but while you're waiting please take a sit and we'll make sure to inform you after we're done moving her.” the doctor told mitsuya and mitsuya decided to sit in one of the hospital sits, nodding his head towards the doctor.

even though he lost his and your little miracle.... He's glad you're fine..

The both of you continued to cry for the loss of your baby. mitsuya have cradled you into his arms earlier while you buried your head in his neck sobbing and crying as snot began to come out of your nose but you didn't care and so did mitsuya. he gently caressed your body while whispering comforting words into your ears and telling you it's fine and he's sure that the baby you have lost is in a better place now and he'll make it up to you, after all the both of you can try again.

as mitsuya cried while whispering comforting words to your ears, he remembered that he bought you a bouquet of daisies “hey love... I bought you a little something earlier....” you let out a small “what is it?” while continuing to sob and hiccup. mitsuya grabbed the bouquet of daisies that was residing in a chair “I bought you some daisies earlier.... here” you looked at the daisies in his hands, daisies are your favorite and you think that they look pretty, you grabbed the bouquet in mitsuya's hands and cradled it, saying thanks to him.

the both of you cried in each other's arms, grieving over your baby's death while cradling the bouquet of daisies in your arms, cradling it like it's the baby you just lost.

©ranburat 2022, reposting on any site/app and copying is strictly prohibited.

#[📔]→ keo's works #tokyo revengers x reader #tokyo revengers #tokyo rev x reader #tokyo revengers x y/n #tokyo revengers x you #tokyo revengers angst #tokyo rev x y/n #tokyo rev x you #tokyo rev angst #mitsuya takashi #mitsuya x reader #tokyo revengers mitsuya #mitsuya imagines #mitsuya scenarios #mitsuya angst #tokyo revengers scenarios #tokyo revengers imagines #each flowers are precious✓

[stylistiquements]

Day 1 : Soap Bubbles.

𐐪𐑂 Pairing : Sapnap x fem!reader {Playlist}

𐐪𐑂 Summary : You're being introduce to the internet in a peculiar way, it's up to you to decide what you're going to do with it.

𐐪𐑂 Word count : 1.4k | W: written part underneath

𐐪𐑂 Warning : very few swears

Masterlist | Previous | Next

.・゜゜・　　・゜゜・　　 .・゜゜・　　・゜゜・

The coffee that sinks inside your stomach brings out a grimace and a click of your tongue where the taste stains; too bitter, too acidic but you’ll drink it anyway and to the last drop; there is something about the idea of spending time with three best friends that is so made of spring and honey that you wish to miss none of it.

“Someone is lurking,” George contemplates out loud, and the call goes silent for a second as if to look for the intruder. And it would so easy to flinch, to hit the back pedal, because you almost feel like one being exposed front stage like that. But today- today is not that day.

It's not that you don't want to join the discussion, it's that it takes a second to warm up, to absorb the energy and become one with it.

And sometimes, all it takes is Sapnap to exclaim, “Panini head, my beloved!” for your smile synchronizes with his chuckles. Somehow, once noticed by the right person, life flows back naturally.

George and Dream greets you in trailing unison, like two kids forced to greet their unwelcomed aunt on a sunday afternoon.

“H-hey troublemakers,” you finally say. Your voice is still quiet, not reluctant, but rather uncertain. It doesn't bother anyone.

“I’m beating Dream’s ass at chess and he’s bitter,” Sap explains, and you silently nod, as if they were able to see you.

A long silence follows along, rythmed by clicks of mouses and keyboards and it falls in your ears like high droplets. It's comfortable. It's intimate, shared with friends only.

"We haven't heard from you in a while," Dream says. "I mean ... before the clout fiasco."

You wouldn't exactly call it a fiasco, even though you don't really like the idea of being perceived a little too closely from the eyes of twitter.com, but you do agree anyway, "I've been caught up on college essays lately."

"That sucks," George probably adds.

“Good thing you’re here, then,” Dream notes, simple as a breath. “This is a worry-free zone.”

It hovers for a second, carried by George’s approval hum.

You squint suspiciously, detective mode, at the profile pictures that light on and off before your eyes, “Thanks, dream.”

He scoffs a “sure” and you’re not sure why you sense a bit of irony stuck on the back of his teeth. You're so tempted to call him out, but you don't. Instead, you write a mental note of this odd moment.

“It’s because I told him about your three brothers and now he’s scared they’re gonna find him and kick his ass,” Sap explains as if he just read your mind.

Sometimes, there’s this thing in the air, though you’re miles away. Something like a connection. There’s this thing when you don’t need to talk for Sap to understand. Sharing one brain cell, you dismiss ironically. Probably coincidences and predictability, but it always sounds a little special, a little like something you’d wish to be out of this world, like morning dew and fairy circles. And it makes you feel safe, at home, just like snuggling up in the sheets during a stormy night. Your smile washes up the sleeve of your hoodie, covered palm carefully hiding your chuckles.

“Three older brothers,” George muses, and there’s no telling if it’s something meant for you to hear. “That’s kinda scary.”

“You better be scared, one of them is probably your FBI agent,” you tease mindlessly, though there's nothing scary about those three grown men.

“I’m British, Bunny,” he points out. Whether the exasperation in his tone is fake or genuine, that, you can’t tell, but you play it cool, grin carved so deep it almost hurts. Dream’s wheezes rise and fall in the background.

“Say that to his face then,” you outbid smirkingly after a second of silence, heels growing into the carpet to make your chair spin slowly left and right, so breezily.

“I’d praise you for the rest of my life if you-Oooooooh your ass is wacked. Your ass is so wacked, dude. You fucked up so bad,” Sapnap chokes out between strings of giggles.

“Oh no, my streamer is losing his game?” You theatrically pout. “My streamer Dreamwastaken, have you met him? Guess you don’t need any of my brothers to kick your ass.”

“Okay yeah- no- it’s not my fault if your- they’re distracting me, okay?” Dream defends.

Slowly, the energy lowers again and the call remembers peace as Dream admits defeat.

“I’m not playing against you anymore,” he mumbles through greeted teeth, your hoodie shelters a muffled giggle. “Let’s talk about y/n’s twitter fame instead.”

“Let’s just not-” you mutter, both because seeing Dream lose at something is a miracle that has to be witnessed once and because you’re somewhat reluctant. “Let’s just not talk about that.”

“Yeah, sorry about that. I had no idea it would draw this much attention to you,” Sap admits.

“Well, you talk about her all the time it was only a matter of time before twitter finds out,” George taunts and you secretly smile, listening to the way your best friend tries to defend himself, mind flooded with the last memories you have of when you were able to see those chuckles for real.

“Yeah, Quackity already told me you guys talk behind my back,” you fakely muse. “That’s totally fine, I don’t wanna know what you guys are talking about at all.” It’s a lie, obviously, the idea creeps upon your mind with assumptions you can’t quite get a grip of nor let go.

“You and Quackity talk?’ Sapnap asks, hint of surprise, and you hum.

“Or rather, he talks to me. He keeps calling-.” Shit. The forsaken word traps itself into your mouth. It’s too silly anyway.

“Come on, just say it,” Dream pushes as if he knew too much, more than you even do, and your cheeks flush mindlessly. You don’t notice.

“Dream, quit it!” You demand.

“Quit what?”

“You talk as if you knew more than anyone did.”

“Maybe I just do,” he coos, so dream-like.

Oblivious or careless, Sapnap asks, “Is Quackity bothering you or something?”

“He-" you begin but stop to look for the right way to put it, "He triggers my flight or fight response.”

"I mean, duh," Sapnap probably rolls his eyes.

"But I like him. He's funny."

After a second of silence, George says, “Well that was unexpected.”

“Not so much, I think we’re both chaotic neutral people.”

“What is that neutral chaotic thing anyway?” Dream is confused.

Roll up your sleeve girl boss because now is your time to shine! You offer your best dream smp alignment chart to the classroom. They're speechless, but they listen carefully.

"Then you're more chaotic good than neutral. You're too sweet anyway," Sap says.

"I'd even say lawful good," George debates.

"That's because you haven't seen Bunny during her crazy cat hour."

"True," you note.

"She'll go absolutely batshit."

“What?" George burst between confusion and surprise. "We've never seen you like that."

"A lady never reveal her secrets," you retort. No one answer.

It leaves a second for your mind to enjoy peace. For your eyes to lay on c!tubbo on lawful good and think true, then on c!dream on chaotic evil and think also very true. You huff and it's like a wave; as sarcasm leaves your breath, an idea comes in.

"Sap, check your DMs," you request.

Surrounded by the evening lull, Sapnap’s laugh pops like soap bubbles, "God, you’re so stupid. Why can't you just marry me?"

“So, is it Sapnap approved?” You chuckle lightly to prevent Sapnap’s morning fresh laugh to fill your chest and leak everywhere.

“Just press ‘send tweet’ please,” he confirms with leftovers of a smile in his voice.

"George, get me out of here. They're doing it again," Dream whines.

"Doing what?" He asks, unbothered.

"Act like they're alone in the convo. Just get a room." And you don't get to stand up for yourself that you and your best friend are actually sent to another room.

"Well this one is chaotic evil confirmed," you mumble as you roll your eyes but the vibes are much peaceful, much more comfortable in here. "So ... hi."

"Hi," he chuckles in return.

Maybe that's for the best; a moment that needs to stay a little timeless, secretive and special. It hasn't happened in so long, you don't even remember the last time it did.

"I'm glad you're here. I miss you, you know?" He says, and it's hard to not feel so bittersweet about it. It's hard when longing involves a craved touch, a real smile and an eye contact. Your shoulder sinks in the chair a little harder.

"I miss you too. I'll be here soon," you promise. And soon couldn't come any sooner.

But the conversation, soft and free, will wash up any worries, as always, and you'll end up talking about everything and nothing, about streams and planned videos and college and god knows what. As long as it makes the two of you happy and smiling. Just like the old days, you'll both think and it's fair to say until the evening turns into night and night turns into fatigue.

"Are you sure you're okay about that clout?" He asks once again. "I know you don't like being exposed like that."

"Yeah, yeah don't worry too much about it. I'll try to make good use of it."

"I'm sure you will," he murmurs, but oh boy did he not know what was about to come until you two meet.

.・゜゜・　　・゜゜・　　 .・゜゜・　　・゜゜・

Taglist : @open-minded-chip-101 ; @itsoakaa ; @gaysludge

A/N : so first of all it has come to my attention that 129 days from now on is actually my birthday so that's a weird coincidence lol. Hi how are you guys?? welcome to the first part I hope you liked it. I'm fairly new to the mcyt community and that's the first time I write for them, so bear with me. Feedbacks are always appreciated. Until next time (ɔˆ ³(ˆ⌣ˆc)

#sapnap smau #smau #mcyt smau #sapnap x you #sapnap x reader #sapnap x y/n #sapnap series #129 days #mcyt x you #mcyt x reader #sapnap fluff

[eagles-translated]

Eagles Transcript S04E03 – Nocturnal

This is the English transcript for the third episode of season 4. Watch the subtitled episode here.

108 DAYS UNTIL GRADUATION

-

Teammate: Why the hell didn't you pass?

Elias: I wanted to do it on my own.

Audience: That's good, boys! Come on!

-

Omar: Boom, three points! Easy as hell! What do you say, boys?

Adam: And Omar only let in two pucks today! It's a miracle!

Teammate: It was really good, anyway.

Omar: I'll have to edit that out.

Adam: You're so sensitive, come on.

Elias (via text to Amie): Can we talk?

Please answer when I call

-

Leila: What's happening with you guys tonight, then?

Felicia: We're doing karaoke.

Leila: Oh, well that sounds like fun! Have you... Have you gotten any new friends?

Felicia: Mom, this isn't camp. That's not why I'm here, right?

Leila: No, of course not. But it can't hurt. I mean... You shouldn't be scared of getting close to someone again.

Felicia: So... Did you talk more with the lawyer? Did he say anything else?

Leila: Don't think about it. Dad and I will handle that.

Felicia: But are you, really?

Leila: You know what, sweetie... It's really late. I'm getting up really early. I'm sorry. But don't think about that. Just talk to those experts in there and focus on getting better.

Felicia: Yeah, exactly. Well, whatever. So, I... I'm hanging up now and that. Okay? Sleep tight. Kisses.

Leila: Kisses!

Felicia: Kisses.

Naima: Come on!

Felicia: Yes, I was on the phone.

Naima: Yes, and I'm waiting to go sing karaoke!

Felicia: Yeah, well, can I have my–

Naima: Please!

Felicia: Okay!

-

Petra: Could I wear this instead, maybe?

Amie: Isn't that grandma's? Feels like I recognize it.

Petra: No, I... I'll wear this.

Amie: So, Vincent... That sounds a little old-mannish. Is he rich or does he have anything else going for him?

Petra: I'm not even going to answer that.

Amie: It's a little late to be eating dinner now. I mean, what kind of date is this?

Petra: What's with this interrogation? You're telling me, Miss "I promise to be home before twelve"!

Amie: But you'll be here by twelve at the latest?

Petra: Help me with the zipper now.

Amie: I have the perfect thing. It's a... Sponsor thing, kind of. I haven't used it, so you can have it later if you want.

Petra: I can have it?

Amie: Yes.

Petra: Thank you! It's like the icing on the cake.

Amie: Mom? Were you in love with dad? I... Found this old photo that was signed with an M.

Petra: Oh. No, I don't remember any photo. Why do you ask? Are you seeing someone, maybe?

Amie: No. Well, I mean, I don't have the time for that. So... Maybe you should get moving so Vincent doesn't have to wait.

Petra: Absolutely. Wish me luck.

Amie: Yes. You look beautiful.

Petra: I do? Thank you. Kisses!

Amie: Kisses.

Elias (via text): (5) missed calls

(2) messages

-

Reporter: Elias seems to have been a little unfocused the last few games. Are you worried about him not keeping it together all the way?

Mats: No, no, no. Not at all. There are always ups and downs, and... Elias is a very important attribute to the team and the reason we'll keep climbing the rankings.

Reporter: So he's feeling good? We saw a new power play formation on the ice today–

-

Amie: Dude, give up. Shit! Yeah, hi. Sorry, I was in the shower.

Gabrielle: No problem. Oh, look at the time. Sorry, it's late in Sweden.

Amie: No, it's... It's fine, I... I don't sleep, so...

Gabrielle: Yeah, Amie... You know we love you, but this guy Gustav... He is really something. He won't release you from your contract.

Amie: Okay, what does that–

Gabrielle: I shouldn't even be talking to you, but... I thought... If you can think of any way to make him change his mind, try it.

Amie: Yeah. Yeah, sure. Thank you.

Gabrielle: Okay. Talk soon.

Amie: Fucking asshole!

-

Mats: What are you doing?

Elias: What does it look like? I'm running.

Mats: But we just had a game.

Elias: Yeah, and my stamina was terrible. I have to get better. Just move.

Mats: Can you calm down a little? Hey.

Elias: If I'm not at my best, then we're back where we started in the season. You know that too.

Mats: Well... Hey, wait. I mean, you have to–

Elias: Leave me alone!

-

Ludde: It's gotten pretty late. Maybe we should just go home.

Klara: We're here now. Come on. You want to talk to her.

Ludde: This could be illegal.

Klara: And very romantic.

Ludde: And incredibly fucking stupid.

Klara: There's a thin line. Come on! Just do as we planned. It'll go great. Don't forget the gift.

Ludde: But... Isn't that a bit too much?

Klara: What, she doesn't like gifts?

Ludde: Of course she does, but she knows I could never afford that.

Klara: I'll deduct it from your dad's salary. Come on!

Ludde: You're insane.

-

Naima: Thank you so much everybody, thank you so much. Okay, can I do one more?

Girls: No. Please–

Naima: Just one more. I promise, this is the last song. I promise it's the last one. Alright. Felicia...

Felicia: No.

Naima: Yes.

Felicia: No.

Naima: Yes! We're doing this one.

Girls: Come on! Go!

Naima: Felicia. Would you like to do me the great honor to come up here and sing off-key to a very, very good song?

Felicia: I'd rather not.

Naima: Thank you. Come on, come on, come on! You know this one.

Felicia: Well...

Naima & Felicia: 🎵 He's tired of town, doesn't need anything 🎵 🎵 Everything looks the same, around here 🎵 🎵 The weekend crawls by 🎵

Naima: What?

-

Naima & Felicia: 🎵 The weekend runs by 🎵 🎵 The same talk every day about setting himself free 🎵 🎵 Right now I want to live, right now 🎵

-

Naima & Felicia: 🎵 Right now I want to live, right now 🎵 🎵 Feel the air in my lungs 🎵 🎵 Feel my blood pulsing🎵 🎵 Feel the light in my eyes 🎵 🎵 Feel the time passing 🎵

-

Monica: Strömgården's care facility, you're speaking to Monica.

Ludde: Yes, hello. Felicia Kroon, is she there? I have to speak with her.

Monica: Are you on the list of relatives?

Ludde: Yeah, it's... This is pretty urgent.

Monica: Okay. One moment, please.

-

Monica: Felicia, there's a call for you.

Felicia: Sorry. Hello? There's nobody on the line.

Monica: Strange. It sounded like a young man.

-

Amie: Hello? Hello? Oh, my god!

Elias: It's just me. Can you let me in?

Amie: What the hell are you doing out there?

Elias: I didn't want to wake your mom.

Amie: She's not home. You can't just do that. You're stupid as hell. Elias? Elias? Are you okay?

Elias: Yeah. It's fine. It's fine. Sorry, I'm just... I'm just a little tired, okay? Hey... I'm sorry about last time. It came out so wrong, it just... I'm so fucking stupid.

Amie: Yeah. It's fine. Come on. What's going on? Seriously. Have you been exercising?

Elias: There's something wrong with me.

Amie: Do I need to call somebody?

Elias: No. No, it's... It's fine. It's better now.

Amie: I've missed you so much.

-

Ludde: Thanks.

Klara: Of course.

-

Amie: You should probably talk to someone. Maybe your dad or something.

Elias: It's fine. Hey... There's no need to worry, okay?

Amie: Felicia got help. What you're describing sounds like an eating disorder or something.

Elias: No. I got sent home because they wanted to see development, and if they don't, then... Then I won't get back to the US. I can't screw this up.

Amie: But if you keep going as you are now, you'll break.

Elias: Hey... If you go... And I end up here, then... Then I'll break.

Amie: But I'm not going.

Elias: What do you mean?

Amie: I mean, I... Never mind. You're not the only one who... Just forget it.

Elias: What happened, Amie?

Amie: You should probably get out of here. Mom's coming soon.

Elias: Okay.

Amie: You know how she'll get if she finds you here. Elias... We can't keep going like this. You need help. And I care so much about you. I just want you to be doing well... But I can't be with you if we keep going like this.

Elias: Just screw it, then. Nobody is forcing you to be with me.

Amie: That's not what I meant.

Elias: You know what? Let's just forget this. It was a stupid idea.

Amie: Elias...

-

Felicia's letter: Hi, Ludde. I know, a letter. Who even writes letters anymore? But I didn't know how else I would express this.

I am so sorry that the lies affected you and your family too. I want you to know that what happened after didn't have do with you. You shouldn't feel responsible for what I did.

You were right. I needed real help. I was just too scared to admit it. But this isn't really what I want to write about. It's not about that. It's about you and me. About us.

There are people who come into your life at the exact right moment. People who become eternal in one's life even if they're only apart of it for a short, short while. You are such a person. You're eternal for me, and I will always love you.

Maybe we won't be together, even if we love each other. But that doesn't mean it's sad. That doesn't mean we should be unhappy. Because that doesn't make the time we had less important. We deserve to be happy even if it's not with each other, and I want you to be happy.

Your Felicia.

-

Mats: Excuse me, have you seen a guy running by here?

Girls: Who is he?

Petra: Are you out running around town? Just like the good old days.

Mats: Hey, Petra! It's been a... You look nice.

Petra: That one doesn't work on me anymore.

Mats: No... No, I'm looking for my... Yes, Elias. Have you seen him?

Petra: Have you thought about putting a GPS tracker on your children?

Mats: That would be good.

Petra: Hey, it was good I bumped into you actually, because there's something I'd like to talk to you about. Did you know Elias and Amie are seeing each other?

Mats: Seeing each other? Oh. No.

Petra: Well, they are anyway, and I don't want that. So if you could talk to him, maybe we won't have to deal with match shirts, empty promises, and all that. Okay?

#eagles svt #svt eagles #transcript

[khaleesiofalicante]

OH MY GOD! ITS HAPPENING! Its only the summary and I’m emo 😂 I should be studying for my exams, but I have tomorrow for that ;)

Ok, lets do this:

UDHWIJSHW THEY ARE SO CUTE FOR EACH OTHER I CANT-

"He preferred to hide his heart away. But he couldn’t hide David. He didn’t want to. David deserved to be seen." Like father like son. Both speeking poetry about their love ones. (and no, Idk which father I'm talking about 😂)

“I don’t think they are fake dating,” David hummed from the other end. “You don’t talk for hours every night if you are just fake dating.” (THANK YOU DAVID! SOMEONE THAT ITS NOT BLIND)

"They like doing chores. Let them do it. They fight demons all day and then come home and do chores. I feel like it’s their form of therapy. They need this.”“So, by not helping them, we are technically helping them?” Bapa had asked and Max had nodded with a grin. “Shadowhunters are weird.” “True dat,” Max had laughed. They were all weirdos. But Max loved them anyway. He loved his weird shadowhunters. (The domesticity lf this is killing me in a good way🥺)

“Will you on a date with me? Tomorrow?” Max asked then – because why the hell not. (Hell yeah Max. Go big or go home babe😎)

“This date is going to be the best first date in the history of first of dates.” In retrospect, he really shouldn’t have said that. (I'm already feeling his chaotic ass will do something like Magnus did, but lets keep hope)

"Maybe Lexi and Liv would probably enjoy a date – a fake date - in the arcade." Could I be more in love with both of them?? Is that physically possible?? 💙

Elyaas giving Max dating advice!! Lmaooo 😂😂

"His parents would not be pleased if they knew Max was summoning demons for relationship advice. But they had also encouraged Max to make friends with everyone regardless of their identity. So, technically this was their fault. They gave him very mixed messages."  YOU LIL SHIT. YOU ARE NOT WRONG THO...

FUCK. An attack??

You lil shit Max.

Yep, Rafael has to deal with it everyday 😂

OOMG YESS. THE ALIANCE RUNE!!

"So, when he got tired, he would simply fix the problem by eating. It was a win-win to be honest." I feel like I should say something, but tbh it makes sense

Ok, this fight is intense

Wait. Anjali is there???  What?

Oh ok, it wasn’t

“Say the thing!”Rafael groaned and raised his hands, the alliance rune lighting up.“I’m not just a shadowhunter,” Rafael said through gritted teeth. “I’m Magnus Bane’s son.” I'm dead 😂

THAT SCENE WAS EVERYTHING. LOVE THOSE TWO

“Well, demons are stupid,” Max pointed out. “Yeah, that makes sense,” Rafael said with a mouthful of food. “You are half demon after all.” “Asshole,” Max laughed and punched his brother.

“Text dad we are okay,” Rafael said, slowly recovering. “They will worry.”Max nodded and did that. (This just summ up sibling relationships so well *chef kiss*)

“It can be hard, Max. Bapak and dad…Sometimes I look at them and feel like I will never have what they have.” YUP. THEY HAVE SIBLINGS DYNAMIC. ALSO RAFAEL IS JUST 🥺🥺🥺

David got wounded???

Oh ok. False alarm.

Rafael sat down next to him and put Bapak’s head on his lap, gently massaging it.

“Are you okay?” dad knelt down next to his husband. “Just a little tired,” Bapak replied.A little tired. Max knew Bapak was fucking exhausted."  "Bapak never showed it. He never complained. Max wondered what else he hid away from everyone else." “Okay,” dad whispered and kissed his husband on the head. “Get some rest, my love.” Bapak nodded and closed his eyes as Rafael hummed something softly. (Well, now I'm crying 😭😭)

" His niece found an herbal medication that helps with the pain.” ANJALI!! I LOVE HER💙💙

"Dad finally smiled and went out to the balcony, phone in hand. He seemed to hang out in the balcony a lot lately" No no no. I dont like this. Babe find a better copying mechanism!!

"Bapak smiled then. A brilliant grin. The one dad probably fell in love with." jsyeihdiej I cant🥺💙

"Bapak sniffed when dad sat down next to him and gave him an odd look. But he didn’t say anything." Magnus tell him something. I dont like where this is going😭

“Does that mean Bapak is a capitalist?” Max asked. “Do not drag me into this!” Bapak protested and dad laughed at that" Ahh yess. Typical family discussions 😂

"David: Mr Herondale yelled “Yes! Two out of three!” (😂😂 I HONESTLY LAUGHED WAY TO HARD!!)

“Well, no! I don’t want drama. But I want you to be dramatic so I can tell you not to be dramatic!” I would like to say WHAT? but I honestly get it 😂

“Also, we all know you had an embarrassing crush on Uncle Jace growing up,” Rafael snickered. “And you definitely still have a crush on Uncle Jem.” Oh god 😂😂 but I mean... Who doesn't have a crush on Jem?

“Oh yeah?” Max demanded. “Well then let me explain your type. You are probably going to fall for someone who is like a combination of Aunt Izzy and Aunt Lily! Some femme fatale type who is a heartbreaker and looks like a supermodel and-” Boy got it right huh? 😂

“You two are dating?” dad demanded. “Since when? Who else knows about this? Why didn’t you tell us before? Were you dating when you were in London? Magnus, did you know about this?” “There you go!” Max yelled triumphantly. “That’s the dramatic reaction I was looking for. Thanks, dad!” lmaooo 😂😂

"And that’s how the next hour turned out to be the most painful and most embarrassing hour of his life." I. I have no words

“I’ll have you know this conversation utterly traumatized me. I demand financial compensation.” “Not happening,” dad said into his coffee, and Max groaned before walking back into his room. (THAT FAMILY 😂😂)

" I tried to hurt your father once.” OH no, the angst is coming

" He didn’t know about this. He knew about their story. Everyone did. The accords hall kiss. The fight in Edom. The changing of the law. Their love was legendary. Not this!" THIS IS BRINGING BACK SO MANY FLASHBACKS

“All I know is that I was terrified. I love your father. I love Magnus more than anything in the world. And I didn’t want to lose him. And I didn’t know what to do.” 😭😭 NOT AGAIN!!

"When you love someone so much, sometimes you do crazy things.” THIS

" Love had made a fool out of them. Love had made them blind." Yup. tsc: a summary

"When you love someone, you have to be honest with them" And THAT is character development!!

"They called it The Jem effect." I'm using this from now on 😂💙💙

"Uncle Jem was wearing a tank top and and ripped jeans." So its time for SIMP over Jem Carstairs? Okey then.

"In fact, he used to have a crush on both Tessa and Jem. It’s how he had found he was bisexual." Same here 😂

“MINA! I SWEAR TO LILITH I AM GOING TO GET YOU BACK FOR THIS!” OH MY GOD I LOVE MINA!!

“In my defense, I was busy!!” “Oooo, someone has been getting busy!” Mina WINKED. (You lil shit! I love her 💙)

He didn’t know he could blush!!!

" They had gone to hell and back for Roman. It wouldn’t have been possible if not for Catarina. She was, and always has been, a miracle worker." Again, I love my queen💙💙

“I believe in Mavid supremacy.” ME TOO

"There is something so queer about Ferris wheels!" Someone needed to say this

"They had their own space in the spiral fucking labyrinth. These fucking legends." I BELIEVE IN WARLOCK TEAM SUPREMACY

"But Ragnor had always had a soft spot for Rafael." 🥺🥺

I love my warlock squad so much I cant-

Ragnor is so done😂

“I don’t want to lose him,” Max said it out loud for the first time. “But you will, Max,” Catarina said gently. “Everyone loses people they love. Every day. It’s how life works.” (its to early to be crying)

“Yes, we do,” Ragnor replied. “But it also means we fall in love over and over. Century after century. It’s our blessing.” (these warlocks are just to perfect)

“And that love is going to last for a lifetime,” Tessa said softly. “Can you imagine that? Someone loving you for centuries. Someone remembering you for eternity. Doesn’t that sound wonderful?” 🥺🥺

David deserved to be loved like that – endlessly and impossibly. (OK BUT THE PARALLEL)

Tessa should definetly write a guidebook

“Je t’aime à la folie,” Max said.David’s eyes widened. “Vraiment?“ "Je t’aime. Je t’aime de toute mon âme. Je t’aime pour toujours.” ( I literally screamed and woke up my sister, I just love them so much!!!)

"David smiled. The smile Max fell in love with" 🥺🥺

“I know I am not your forever and I am okay with that.” Max bit his lip. “Okay.” “But you are mine,” David said. “You know that, right?” (ksidjdldk its just all this was beautiful!)

“I got it all planned,” Max said – for someone who had no idea what he was going to do." (Me as I should be studying 😂)

" And you were just scared. You were just a kid." “I just…I just realized you might not have had that when you were growing up – that there might not have been people you could talk to about these things.” THAT!! LOUDER FOR THE PEOPLE IN THE BACK!

"Max pulled him closer and kissed him again. Every kiss a promise. A promise to love. A promise to fight. A promise to survive" I would die for this two

OMG he took him to the Celestial Palace!! Thats so perfect and 🥺🥺

“Oh mon dieu! Ceci est incroyable! Il y a tellement de livres! Oh mon dieu! Je l'aime tellement!”💙💙 Idk how you manage to make me love David even more

“Of course he doesn’t hate you!” Max chuckled. “But he did say he will put your nerd ass in the silent city if you don’t bring me home by 11.” David blinked. “You’re joking, right?” “Of course,” Max grinned. His father had actually said that but there was no need to scary poor David any further. (😂😂 Imagine having the Consul as father-in-law, poor David)

“Yeah, not good with words my ass,” Exactly!! They say they are not good with words and procede to recite poetry of their love one??!!

Ughh I love this chapter so much and I loved how they deal with the inmortality thing! I just love when people comunicate and talk to each other! THATS A HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP! And how they didn't repeat Alec and Magnus mistake. I just love it! *chef kiss*

Anyway, this was really long and it took to open notes to fullfill, so i'll just leave💙💙

Bro I just felt like I read the whole chapter again and I am feels. I AM FEELS SEND HELP. Not me catching feels over my own shit lmaooooo.

Thank you so much. I have some work to do and I was like meh and now I have some energy to do it lol. I hope you spend tomorrow studying! You better!! Good luck!

ps - I love you notice the parallels and references. It makes me lil heart go boop!

also why do I feel like y'all are eternally doing exams????

#ily thank youuuu #lbaf

[everlarkficexchange]

That Monolithic Thing (Called Love) - Aka: I'll Leave My Window Open - The Prologue

I just want to let everyone know, I took on 7 prompts to make one monolithic story, that I have planned plot, and scenes written, betas lined up, (@katnissdoesnotfollowback @titaniasfics) and people who have given me advice when asked, (@wendywobbles @dandeliononfire @lovely-tothe-bone @rosegardeninwinter @badnovels) I just have fallen short of stringing it all together into the piece it deserves, so I wanted to give just a little snippet as a preview, the rest will come, it will be multichapter, but still probably shorter than most I am unsure whether to post the first part here, or directly to my A03 so it all stays together. Any thoughts? Anyway, thank you again for your patience, and here is a snippet from a document sitting on my devices titled, “That Monolithic Thing (Called Love) - Aka: I’ll Leave My Window Open - The Prologue” for now.

The prompts:

Prompt 7: Katniss Everdeen the daughter of a billionaire tries to antagonise her father. So she decides to date poor, uneducated simple boy Peeta. Her whole family (even Prim) hates him. Too bad his father has already arranged her marriage with his business partner’s son Gale, a smart, handsome and successful man. Will she really fall for Peeta or will she bow to her father’s will? Does Peeta feel himself worthy of Katniss? [submitted by @white-dandelion-seeds] 

Prompt 39: Taylor Swift - Mary’s Song (aka childhood best friends to lovers to husband and wife) [submitted by anonymous] 

Prompt 65: Everlark fluff based on the song Sugar by Maren Morris. [submitted by @lovely-tothe-bone] 

Prompt 69: College boy Peeta helps incoming students move into the dorms. Katniss is his next assignment. Age Gap? Maybe Katniss is an older student going to college later? Grad student? Maybe Peeta is a senior, Katniss a Freshman? The possibilities are endless! [submitted by anonymous] 

Prompt 72: Peeta is off a very abusive, poor home. His school friend Katniss has the exact opposite home: well loved and well off family. What happens when opposite worlds clash? [submitted by anonymous] 

Prompt 91: ​High school. Peeta is the perfect golden boy. Katniss is a rebellious, infamous girl who always skips class and who everyone fears. She is every boys wet dream and every girls nightmare. How will they both fall in love? [submitted by @mysteriouslycraftyreview]

Prompt 95: Everlark meet cute, “Oh wait… you’re NOT my blind date?” We’re they set up with each other or with someone else? How do they figure out the mix up? What happens after? Disgustingly fluffy welcome. [submitted by @katnissdoesnotfollowback]

Along with something @lovely-tothe-bone and @rosegardeninwinter said I should write called, “I’ll Leave My Window Open”.

The synopsis is still not flushed out, it’s my worst strength, but I promise lots of fluff, and comedy, and angst, and a whole helluva lot of chaos, maybe even a little slow burn, and the typical hair pulling aggravation of “JUST KISS ALREADY” thrown in there somewhere. 😉 (Plus, you know me. There’s going to be pondering and lots of self revelations. You know what I do.)

When a door closes, open a window. Stuck in a metaphorical box by her family, Katniss hangs on to one piece of advice that has gotten her this far. But leaving her window open for a certain blonde to find his way up and into her life ends up being more complicated than expected, and yet the best thing she’s ever done. 

Xxx

Running into the abandoned greenhouse, Peeta was quick to shut the door, then began looking for some sort of fire extinguisher. 

Finding an old hose, he picked it up only to have it crumble in his hands, turning to dust with a touch. 

Looking up to Katniss wide eyed, she was glancing around the glass structure absently, her mind a million miles away. Staring fixedly on some old rose bushes, wilted and dried, yet the buds still perfectly shaped on the stems, she reached out to touch one, stopping just short of actual contact. 

“No one’s been out here for years.” Her voice was distant, mumbled. “Dad didn’t see the need to tend to a greenhouse we never got to visit, even in our backyard. Or pay someone to manage it. It was just another cost. A cost he wasn’t willing to take on…. Despite it being the only thing my sister and I fought together for in our lives.” 

Flames grew closer to the glass building, painting her face in wicked shades and shadows as she spoke. A smile ghosted over her lips as she was stuck in a memory of better times. Reaching out to finally trace the ancient flowers, it seemed the ghost of her touch was enough to cause the petals to finally fall, each in quick succession. 

If he had ever doubted miracles, now was not one of those times, because as soon as the first petal hit the table beneath it, thunder boomed outside, shaking the glass structure, and seeming to shake Katniss out of her memories. She looked at him wide eyed, realizing the situation and it’s full gravity crashing down around them. 

Lightning struck somewhere nearby, illuminating her from behind, and he swore he had never seen anything more beautiful. The trees outside seemed to be fighting a mighty battle with sudden winds that howled against their little shelter, but not a breath of it came inside, and it made the image even more breathtaking in his eyes. 

The outside was a raging fire, and wind, and pounding thunder, but there before him stood a woman unmoved, undisturbed, unphased by any of the elements, standing tall with a face of determination against it all. But her eyes…. Her eyes spoke even louder than everything else, and they spoke of fear.

Suddenly, the glass of the building, once crystal clear, now looked like opening your eyes underwater, the glass swirling and curling as sheets of water poured down on all sides. The smell of smoke faintly wafted in from some small crack in the frame, and it mixed with the smell of old, but beautiful, smelling roses. It was almost overbearing, until the smell of rain came quickly after, and wiped away all this old and dying, bringing with it the promise of a clean slate. 

It was a blessing the sheets of rain kept the view outside obscured, keeping them from the truth of what they had run from just at bay outside the glass doors. 

But for now, they were safe, and the realization made Katniss begin to shake. 

Taking two large steps toward her, he cradled her face in his hands, trying to soothe her with calming words and gentle strokes of his thumbs to wipe the tears away, but it didn’t seem to help. Her eyes darting all around, her shaking persistent, finally he said her name, and her gaze locked on his. 

Looking between her eyes, head still held in his hands, his eyes darted down to her lips, before catching her eyes doing the same to him. With a small smile, he began to lean in closer, mumbling, “Remember, we’re madly in love, so it’s alright to kiss me anytime you feel like it.”

#Springtime Edition 2020 #everybirdfellsilent #submission

[machineryfield]

At the Start of the World Chapter 2

Heading Out

--

Fiora sits on the bench at Outlook Park, staring out at the Colony. Just a day ago it had been so peaceful, the threat of Mechon becoming more and more of a distant dream... But, like most good things, that had to come to an end.

She closes her eyes, remembering the scenes that had played out before her. People being eaten, Shulk being eaten. Stabbed cleanly through by that Mechon with a face before smaller ones descended on his body.

She remembers the cold rage that had seeped into her, the way she had finally found a weak point on the blaster armour of that thing and let the Monado cut deep...

The Monado feels so heavy on her back when Reyn approaches, and she forces herself to give him a smile when he sits next to her. "Hey."

"Hey," he doesn't even attempt to pretend to smile. "You doin' alright? I know you and Dunban went home last night... He say anythin'?"

"He tried to comfort me." She admits. "...It didn't really help, though. He just said what I expected him to say, really."

Words of moving forward, like Shulk would want. Firm looks and with an underlying insistence she returns the Monado to the Weapons Development Lab as soon as possible in his tone. She thinks of all he said and frowns. She decided then and there she wouldn't listen to him...

"I want to go out and find that Mechon," she says. "I want to make it pay for what it did to Shulk, and I want to understand why."

"Understand why?" Reyn frowns. "I don't get it..."

"I want to know why the Mechon attacked us, why they’re always attacking us, what made us their targets. I want to know why... why they eat us. Do they need to, or do they just take pleasure in it? Things like that..." She wrings her hands together. "But a piece of me just wants to make the Mechon pay. Not take the time to learn, as much as the questions eat at me."

"Sounds like that piece of you is me rubbin' off on ya,” Reyn rubs under his nose. "...If ya got that, I guess I should be the one to keep you on your path to learnin', right?"

"That piece of me is loud, just like you!" She giggles, before looking over at him. "Really? You're willing to let me try and find out why? Even though you just want to..."

"You're my friend, Fiora. You've got your reasons for wantin' to know, and 'sides, if we know, might be easier to take 'em down!" He nods with a grin. "So let's do this, yeah?"

She smiles and nods. "Yeah...!"

"So," he kicks his legs. "Guess we're not tellin' Dunban, yeah?"

"Yeah." She frowns. "He'd just try to stop me... We head out, just the two of us, tonight."

Reyn nods. "You got it, I'll meet ya at the entrance."

--

"Ready to go?" She asks, fixing the pack at her side.

She goes over all she has. Food for a few days, her knives in case she needs them, and the Monado. Not much, but enough to get them through Tephra Cave and the Bionis leg, at least. They could stock up at Colony 6.

"Yep." Reyn rolls his arm and smiles at her. "The Mechon won't know what hit 'em."

"Yeah," she nods. "First we go to Colony 6, then we head for Sword Valley. If we're gonna find that Mechon anywhere, it'll be there."

"Galahad Fortress," Reyn adds on. "If there's still Mechon, the fortress is probably still there. Buildin' up grunts for a year, I bet."

"Yeah, something like that." She cracks her neck and looks out towards the path towards Tephra Cave. This time, it'd just be the two of them. "Let's go, Reyn."

--

Fiora sees the door open towards Colony 6, once locked, and figures that's where the strange machines they fought earlier came from. She wonders, they showed up right before the Mechon.... Had they sensed the threat? Activated for that?

She shrugs off that thought, at least for now. Whatever those machines were, they were gone now. They could move forward without a problem, right? They just needed to get to Colony 6.

"You know," Reyn speaks, pulling Fiora out of her thoughts. "We haven't had any convoys from Colony 6 recently, have we? Y'think the Mechon got 'em, too...?"

Fiora frowns as they make it to the lit path. "I hope not. Maybe they just got delayed, or it was bad harvests this year."

She doesn't believe what she says, but she continues to hope, anyway. Maybe they did die, but maybe to natural wildlife. It was never fun to lose any of the few Homs they had left, but better to beings of the Bionis than the Mechon.

Reyn nods, frowning. "Sorry, I didn't mean t'..."

"Don't worry about it," she gives him a small smile. "I get the worry, really. We just... have to try and look on the bright side."

"Yeah... you're right."

They continue on their way for a while, fighting off the wild life and picking up knick knacks from the ground. It's going well, she thinks. Maybe too well... She doesn't like thinking that, but dread sits in her stomach as they walk along. What was this feeling...?

She tries to shake it off, at least, until they see dead bodies ahead of them. She feels panic wrack her body as they move towards them. Reyn is there first, looking them over with a grimace.

"Was it the Mechon...?" She asks as she approaches, voice shaking."

Reyn shakes his head, "looks like Arachno wounds, if y'ask me. Probably got ambushed on their way to Colony 9..."

Fiora frowns, she knows how Reyn feels about spiders and their bigger monstrous cousins. She moves to his side and places a hand on his shoulder. "Come on, there's some water, let's return them to the Bionis, then rest. We should think about our next move first if there are Arachnos ahead."

Reyn nods, clearly thankful for the idea. "Yeah. Let's do it."

Fiora's thankful that she and Reyn are both pretty athletic, all things given. It makes moving the remnants of the Caravan easier. There's not enough for it to have been the full group, and as bad as it sounds, Fiora is glad. That's less death they have to see right after what happened.

The bodies start to dissolve the minute they touch the water, and Fiora offers a quick prayer to the Bionis. Born of the Bionis and returned to it, the way Shulk didn't get to be.

She swallows down the bitter thought and turns to Reyn. "Come on, let's get some rest. You first, I'll take point."

--

A giant Arachno, Reyn surrounded by smaller ones. There's no where for him to run and Fiora isn't with him. She watches as it strikes out, he moves to block it, and dread settles in as it gives out. She watches the Arachno stab right through his chest. Watches him die, just like Shulk did.

Fiora blinks back to reality and sees Reyn walking towards her. "Your turn to rest."

"Reyn," she stands, shaky on her feet as she moves to him. "Are you okay?"

"'Course I am." He frowns, scratching his cheek. "Well, couldn't sleep a wink, but I feel alright. You look like you just saw a ghost, though."

"I..." She bites her lip. "I had another vision. Promise me you'll stay safe if I sleep?"

Reyn pats her back. "'Course I will, Fiora. We just lost Shulk, I ain't lettin' you lose me, too."

"Reyn..." She sighs and rests her head against his chest for a minute, tears pricking at her eyes. "You better stay safe, you big dummy."

He squeezes her into a tight hug then, a smile on his face. "Don't you worry about me! I can take a few hits... and if I need ya, I'll wake ya up, okay?"

"You better," she looks up at him. "No running off to play hero. No doing what Shulk did."

"None of that, promise."

--

It's foggy in Fiora's dream, she can barely make out where she is. It's a platform of some sort, that much she can make out. Looking around, she comes to realize she's high above some sort of water source…

There's not much else she can see, save a man in the distance. She squints, trying to get a better look at him and takes a step forward. He seems to realize she's there, but doesn't turn to greet her. He keeps his back to her, simply tilts his head back a bit.

"Quite the divergence, wouldn't you say? I wouldn't think the Heir to the Monado would fall like that." He says, voice sounding quite sad. "But now you are here, to take on that heavy title."

"Heir to the Monado..." She furrows her brow and doesn't even understand why she asks what she does. "Do you mean Shulk?"

He was the miracle child, after all. Found alive when everyone else from his colony -- pushing forward on an expedition to find any way to stay alive -- perished to the cold of Valak Mountain. The little boy, sleeping next to the mythical sword that saved the day so many times.

The man chuckles, and does not answer her. "I look forward to seeing what you'll do, now thrust into his place. I'm sure you'll make him proud, Fiora."

"How do you know my name?" She asks, stepping forward once again. "Who are you? What do you know about the Monado?!"

"All will be revealed in due time." He assures, but Fiora still feels unsettled. "Do your best, now, I'll be watching."

She opens her mouth and sits up from where she fell asleep, panting as sweat rolls down her brow. She turns to see if Reyn noticed, see if he has commentary for her, and her blood runs cold.

Reyn isn't there.

#Xenoblade #Xenoblade Chronicles #Series: At the Start of the World #Fandom: Xenoblade #Character: Fiora #Character: Reyn #Character: Alvis #Post Type: Chapter #Content Warning: Character Death #Content Warning: Mild Gore

[deanwinchestermydaddy]

TO SEE YOU AGAIN (DEAN WINCHESTER STORY) PART. 20

Y/n's POV:

These past four months have been the hardest for me and Sam. I try to help him but he blamed himself and I did the same with myself. Sam would disappear for days then come back. I couldn't sleep because when I closed my eyes I was able to see or more imagined what Dean was going through and I felt the same pain, how I felt my body being torn apart then put back together. The first time that I had those nightmares I had Sam to comfort me but it wasn't the same he wasn't Dean.

As the time went by I would disappear for weeks saying that I was going to the bar and on hunts to think and free my mind, but I wasn't. I drove to a different crossroads in town then out of town to make a deal, but none of the demons want to make a deal with me to bring Dean back. It was driving me crazy.

"you know Dean wouldn't like you to make a deal Y/n? He made me promise that I was going to protect you and stopped you from doing that" he said as he sat down in front of me, "yeah Sam I know" I said lying to him, "I will go to take a nap then I will bring us food is that alright?" I said and he nodded and gave me a small smile that I returned. I went to my room and did something that I haven't done in years I prayed. I got on my knees and cross myself, "look, I know that I am not one of your favorites. I don't even know if you are real or not, but once again I just want to ask you for a miracle to bring Dean back, he deserves something better than what he has got. So, God, I ask you for a miracle to bring Dean back safe, that's all I ask for. Please and Thank you" I said and got up and grabbed the keys of my car to go to town, "hey Y/n I thought you said you were gonna take a nap?" Sam said as he saw me, "Not anymore Sam. You want the usual?" I asked and he nodded, "be careful alright," he said giving me another smile, "will do Sam," I said before I walked out.

~IN TOWN~

I was walking around not really looking, having other thoughts on my mind which were really only about Dean. I bump or more like slammed into someone and I fall on my butt, "I'm so sorry Miss" the guy said as he turns around to help me up, "no, it was my fault.  So I am sorry for slamming into you Mister" I said as I look up and saw that he was wearing a black dress shirt, "Don't call me Mister you make me feel old" he said as he looked down and smile at me and I smile at him back, "thank you... uh I guess young fella for picking me up even when it was my fault" I said and he laughs at what I said and I saw those big blue eyes that twinkle, "no problem, young gal and have a good night" he said as he started to walk away and I just stood there looking at him walk away, "good night to you too!" I said loud and he turns and waves, "may God bless you," he said and it made me froze, then I continue to go and get the food for me and Sam. After that day I left for Iowa to try again to make a deal.

Dean's POV:

"Help! Help! Help!" I said as I was pounding on the wood that was above my head as dirt falls on my face and I continue to pound.

I was in the middle of a grassy field, a simple wooden cross is planted as I crawl my way out of the ground, groaning and gasping. I lie on my back, panting. I stand looks around in the glaring sunlight.

I walked until I saw an abandoned Gas Station and I entered, "Hello?" I say but no one answers, so I enter and took some water to drink I was really thirsty. I started to get more water to take and I see a Newspaper and it says that is Thursday, September 18th. I cleaned myself and started to look on my body and see that nothing that happened to me in Hell is there no scars, well just a hand-print on my left shoulder.

I go to the counter, set down the bag, and hit a single button on the register, snapping my fingers in satisfaction when it pops open. As I'm looting the cash, the TV to my left flicks on, showing only static. I shut it off; only to have a radio to my right turn on to white noise. Not wasting a moment, I go to another shelf and grabs a carton of salt, opens it, and begin to pour it along the windowsill.A high-pitched single tone begins, and I clutch my left ear in pain as I continue to pour salt with my right hand. As it continues, I drop the salt and crouch to the floor, groaning in agony. The window above my head shatters as the sound continues, and I drop to the floor. I leap to my feet to try to escape, and more glass on the ceiling and walls shatters. I went to a phone booth that was there and dial Sam's and Y/n's number but they don't answer, so I try another number. This time it rings and is answered."Yeah?" he said and I was happy to hear his voice, "Bobby?" I said looking around, "Yeah?", "It's me," I say and still sounds that he doesn't recognize me, "Who's "me"?" he says confirming what I thought, "Dean," I said and a dial tone sounds, so I hang up and dial again. "Who is this?" he said again, "Bobby, listen to me" I try to stop him from hanging up, "This ain't funny. Call again, I'll kill ya" he said and the dial tone again. ~AT BOBBY'S~

I pound on the door, and Bobby's hand appears to open it. I smile cautiously, but Bobby looks at me suspiciously. "Surprise," I said, "I, I don't..." Bobby says, "Yeah, me neither. But here I am" I said entering. As I approach him he lunges forward and slashes me, so I grabbed his arm and twist it around, he breaks the grip and backhands me in the face. "Bobby! It's me!" I said but still, he doesn't believe me, "My ass!" he said and I put a chair between the both of us, "Whoa, whoa, whoa, wait! Your name is Robert Steven Singer. You became a hunter after you met Rodney, and later met your wife and... you're about the closest thing I have to a father. Bobby. It's me" I said raising my hands and he lowers his knife and places his hand on my shoulder, suddenly he slashes again, but I quickly subdue and disarm him. "I am not a shapeshifter!" I said but he can't hear me or something, "Then you're a Revenant!" he said and I shove him away and hold the knife, "Alright. If I was either, could I do this – with a silver knife?" I said rolling my sleeve and slicing my arm, "Dean?" he said starting t believe me, "That's what I've been trying to tell you" I said and he grabs me and pulls me into a tight hug and I return it.

"It's... It's good to see you, boy" he says and I felt relief, "Yeah, you too," I said smiling at him, "But... how did you bust out?" he said and I really had no idea, "I don't know. I just, uh, I just woke up in a pine box..." I didn't finish cause Bobby splashes water on my face, "I'm not a demon either, you know" I said spitting the water, "Sorry. Can't be too careful" he said giving me a towel that I use to wipe my face, "What do you remember?" he asked, "Not much. I remember I was a Hellhound's chew toy, and then... lights out. Then I come to six feet under, that was it. Sam's and Y/n's number are not working. They're, uh... they're not..." I said imagining the worst, "Oh, he's alive. And as far as I know, she is too" he said sitting down, "Good... Wait, what do you mean, as far as you know?" I asked him what he means, "I haven't talked to her for months. Sam calls some days to check-in" he said, "You're kidding, you just let her go off by herself?" I said getting angrier, "She was dead set on it and Sam was with her for a while," he said, "Bobby, you should've been looking after both Sam and her, you saw how she reacted!" I said raising my voice, "I tried. These last months haven't been exactly easy, you know. For them or me. We had to bury you" he said trying to make understand, "Why did you bury me, anyway?" I said curiously, "I wanted you salted and burned. Usual drill. But... they wouldn't have it" he said suspiciously, "Well, I'm glad they won that one," I said, "she said you'd need a body when she got you back home somehow. That's all she said while Sam just didn't want to listen. Both insisted that she was acting differently" he explained, " What do you mean?" I asked him to elaborate," she was quiet. Real Quiet. And then she just took off. Wouldn't return my calls. I tried to find her, but she didn't want to be found by me. And Sam said that sometimes she will show up stay for a day then leave for weeks" he said and I got mad, "Oh, damnit, Y/n" I said hitting the table, "What?" he said not understanding my actions, "Oh, she got me home okay. But whatever she did, it is bad mojo" I said shaking my head, "What makes you so sure?" he looked at me with concern, "You should have seen the gravesite. It was like a nuke went off. And then there was this... this force, this presence, I don't know, but it, it blew past me at a fill-up joint. And then this" I said and show him the handprint, "What in the hell?" he said as he stands up, "It was like a demon just yanked me out. Or rode me out" I said having my mind going wild, "But why?" he asked, "To hold up their end of the bargain," I said and I saw the worried on his face, "You think Y/n made a deal," he said as the concern grew on his face, "It's what I would have done," I said and I didn't know what to think.

Me and Bobby left to Kansas where Sam was and to see if he knew anything about Y/n.

Y/n's POV:

It's been a couple of days since I left for Iowa and I have tried at least 5 times to get a deal, but all of the demons don't accept my soul at all.

~At night~

Today it is my last hope to see if I can get a deal so I can bring Dean back, I did the whole ritual and waited for a demon to show up, I was losing my hope when I felt someone behind me and I turn to see him.

" Hello darling, you come to daddy," he said and I just looked at him and recognize him, "Crowley?" I said and he smiled at me, "so my demons said that my special one was trying to make a deal" he said and I rolled my eyes at him, "I'm not your special one Crowley. You should know that I don't like you" I said crossing my arms, "C' mon darling you do like me admit it" he said and I just looked at him, "yeah maybe the size of a mustard seed. But why the King of Hell is here instead of your minions, huh" I said and he raised his eyebrows, "well Darling you see, your soul has something special that I would like to have and I wasn't going let them have it, so I told them to not made any deals with you until I was able to come to make it" he said, "can you bring him back?" I asked him and he gave me a bitch face, "of course Darling, but in exchange for something" he said looking at me up and down, "what do you want in exchange for bringing him back?" I said as he started to walk around me, "you see as the King of Hell I need to have a Queen, and who would it be the best Queen that one of the most feared female hunters, that has a special soul like yours" he said licking his lips and I really wanted to puke, "Dean gets back and I have to go with you to Hell, for how long?" I asked accepting what I had to do, "well that's the thing. Is for eternity" he said and I gulped and looked down, "okay Crowley, where do I sign" I said and he looked surprised, "I thought I had to try to convince you more Darling, but I guess I was wrong" he said and I just wanted to finish this, "cut the shit Crowley and let's do this" I said and he took a step forward, "you have to kiss me Darling to seal the deal and your Ken doll would be back just like we said" he said and I took a deep breath and when I was about to step forward to kiss him my phone started to ring and I knew it was Sam for his ringtone, I stopped Crowley. "I have to answer this first," I said and took a step back.

"yes Sam," I said and Crowley looked at me, "he's alive Y/n!, alive!" he said and I couldn't understand what he mends, "what? who is alive?" I said and Crowley raised his eyebrows and looked away from me, "Dean, he just arrived with Bobby at the Bunker. He-he-he is truly him Y/n" he said and I felt that all the blood was drained from my body, "Sa-Sam don't play with me please" I begged him as tears started to blurry my vision, "sweetheart is me is really me please come back I missed you" I heard that voice that I've been missing for months and I dropped my phone to the ground as tears ran down my face. I pick it up and walked towards my car, "what about the deal?!" Crowley screams at me, "forget it you lied to me!" I said as I drove off.

Dean's POV:

It's been about 7 hours since we talked to Y/n and I just wanted to hold her and tell her that everything will be okay, and that I was never going to leave here ever again.

The 3 of us were at the kitchen, but soon it was just me cause the 2 of them left.

I wasn't gonna go and wait there so I decided to go to our room and sat down on the bed waiting, but I couldn't help to wonder all the bad things that can happen to her, to me, to us. I couldn't help but cry and wipe my tears as more started to run. I listen to footsteps it seemed that someone was running but I didn't bother to look at the person that enter my room, "Dean?" I heard a broken voice said and I felt my heart pump faster and I turn to see her. I stand up and run to her and picked her up on my arms as she wrapped her arms around my neck and her legs around my waist, "thank God you are here" she said as she held me closer and I did the same. I kissed her slowly showing her all the love and how much I missed her.

I felt that I was complete again I put her down and grabbed her face and kissed her again and again, " I love you, Dean, you don't know how hard it was" she said as tears started to ran down her eyes and I wiped them with my thumb, "please baby tell me that you didn't make a deal please" I said and she looked down and took a deep breath, "I tried so many times, but none wanted to accept, well until tonight. But I said no cause Sam called" she said as she tries to smile at me with her teary eyes. I stopped holding my breath as I hear her said that I was really glad that she didn't and that we didn't have to be concern about how much time did we had left together. I kissed her again, "we need both of you at the library," Sam said making both of us break the kiss.

When we were walking towards the library Y/n was holding me close, just like the day that she almost lost Scott, I looked down and kissed her head and smile at her just like she did. We soon arrived and we saw someone standing in the middle with a trenchcoat, "who are you?" I asked, " Castiel" the guy answer and I moved Y/n behind me, "Yeah, I figured that much, I mean what are you?" I asked again as he kept looking staring at me, "I'm an Angel of the Lord" he answers, "Get the hell out of here. There's no such thing" I said and I felt Y/n move, "This is your problem, Dean. You have no faith. Unlike her she did and thanks to her faith I brought you back" he said and I was about to say something but Y/n beat me to it, " I know you, I-I saw you on town I bumped into you, but... you are using the guy as you meat suit" she said stepping forward,  "He's a devout man, he actually prayed for this" he answers and the lights started to flash and we were able to see his wings all of us took steps back but Y/n stayed in place even when I try to pull her, "so you are really an angel Castiel" she said and he nodded and step forward towards her and try to reach for her, but I saw her flinch, "I would never hurt you Y/n. You and Dean were chosen by God to accomplish his plan" he said as he caresses her face, "what plan?" Sam asked, "I have to go," he said and he disappears as we hear a flop of wings and Y/n just stays there not able to move and I move in front of her and snap my fingers and she shook her head and blinked, "what happens? where did he go?" she asked confused, "he had to go" Sam answer and I just embrace her and she did the same and I started to kiss her but soon it turns into something more, so I picked her up and I walked straight to my room and shut the door, "WE WILL BE ON THE BAR DEAN, IF BOTH NEED US!!" Sam scream and I really didn't care I just wanted to show her how much I missed her.

#reader #dean winchester #dean #dean winchester fic #dean winchester fanfiction #dean x reader #dean x y/n #dean x you #jensen #jensen ackles #platonic! sam winchester x reader #sam winchester #dean winchester x reader #jared padalecki #spnfandom #spn fanfiction #spn #dean winchester x you #dean winchester imagine #jared #jared paladecki #dean winchester story #dean winchester series

[stateofgrace1303]

My chronic illness, how it started.

*Can you guys please reblog and/or tag Taylor?? I really want her to read

this. I want this to get to her and I'll take any help I can get. I rarely ask this but it'd mean to world to me. I wanna get my story

out there (even if this is only a part of the entire story. The rest I

might post sometime if you guys want me too. I think I did include

everything I wanted to for now though). Just thank you all so much!!! I

love you all ❤*

(Im really sorry about how long this is. Its like a little novel. Plus I'm

OCD and tend to talk/rant until it feels just right... I just wanted to

share it with all of you, since its something I would've shared on TSL,

even though it'd probably be too long for there... But I wanted to share it

here because most of those swifties can be found on tumblr, and I want you

all to hear this... Maybe it'll even get to Taylor too. But please read if

you can. It'd mean a lot to me. Also I tried writing this but then it got

deleted when I tried posting it, so hopefully this one posts (I ended up trying to post this ALL DAY. I'm so glad it's finally up).)

Hey Swifties! So, I thought I would post this because its something I'd

post on TSL if it was still around, as I shared pretty much my whole life

on there, and I always found swifties very easy to talk to (plus you're all

just the nicest people)! So, I wanted to share this on here since most

swifties can be found on tumblr. I'm sure i talked a little bit about this

on tsl (my user was stateofgrace1303, same as on here and ig) but I wanted

to tell you guys more, especially because its getting so much more intense

now and like I said I've always found swifties very easy to talk to you.

Basically, when I was 12, my dad took me to see the RED tour at Gillette

Stadium. We had gone to see the Speak Now tour there and I had been

completely wonderstruck (no pun intended) by Taylor that night. I was 10 at

the speak now tour and had idolized Taylor since I was 6 and she put out

TOMG (and I was known as the Taylor Swift girl by now at my school). So

even though I was 10 I asked my dad, if I save up the money will you take

me to see her when she comes again? And he said yes. About 2 weeks before

the show, I had saved up enough. He didn't think i could do it, but I did.

So, I got tickets and we went to the tour. But when I was walking towards

the stadium (we had parked in a lot right down the street), my vision

became weird, almost like tunnel vision although nothing was turning black

around the edges of my vision. My feet looked very far away from me.

Suddenly, a rush of dizziness came over me and instinctively i grabbed onto

my dads arm to keep from falling down. He asked if I was okay and I could

barely get out words for some reason. I was starting to sweat and we

thought maybe i was dehydrated, so we got into the stadium as quickly as

possible. I was gripping onto everything around me to keep from falling,

but eventually we got into the stadium and I got some water. We had seats

on the field, so that's where I was, drinking some water when suddenly I

was pretty sure I was going to throw up. It was starting to get super

uncomfortable so my dad brought my to the first aid, which was actually

right at the enterance on the field. So when we went in there my dad told

them what was going on and they all looked at me weird and said "people

never get sick. We usually treat bee stings and allergic reactions. We

almost never have people get sick" which actually surprised me. But, they

took me back and laid me down. Almost immediately I started puking. The

nurse I had actually had just had a baby and had some anti nausea

medication on her. So, she gave me that but it didn't work. And I just got

worse. My dad went to find me something to eat so I'd have something in my

stomach. He came back with some chips and iced/frozen lemonade but I threw

up every time. I was so dizzy at this point I was gripping onto the bed

they had me on and puking my guts out, as well as sweating a lot. After a

while, as it only got worse, they actually thought I might have had food

posioning and asked what I ate. But there they noticed something. I was

completely white. Like white as a ghost. Except for my lips, which were

turning blue. And I was struggling to breathe. They wanted to take me to

Boston Childrens and my dad asked if I wanted to, but it was Taylor. I

couldn't miss it. So I said no for that reason. But actually, everyone at

the stadium was trying to get me tickets for the show the next night as she

was playing two nights. Security guards, the nurses, my dads girlfriend...

But nobody could get tickets in the end which was okay. But later my dad

went and for a list of everybody's set times. I had been in first aid for

about an hour at this point. He came back with the list and said "I promise

I will not let you miss them" he said and pointed to Ed Sheerans name, then

Taylor, since I was a huge Ed fan as well. He knew I probably wouldn't be

able to stay, but even seeing them for a minute would've been perfect to

me. Another hour had passed, and I was still there in the same condition.

It was terrifying, and they were really pushing me to go to the hospital

(they wanted to call an ambulance because they actually thought something

very bad might happen if they didn't). But I keep pushing that off because

I wanted to see Taylor and Ed so badly. But, 2 hours I had been there in

the same condition, puking up everything, completely white with blue lips,

struggling to breathe, so dizzy I couldn't even sit up. It was starting to

get painful honestly. So, I suddenly just burst out crying. I was just a 12

year old who wanted to see my idol, and I got this... This weird sickness,

and got stuck in first aid. In so much pain. I didn't even really

understand what was happening. I had always been a sick kid. Always getting

colds and infections. In fact, I almost died as a baby from a problem with

my kidneys, and had become septic. Its a miracle I lived. But I had never

experienced anything like this... And to experience it when I was just

trying to see my idol? When it was only my second concert ever? It crushed

me tbh. My dad asked what was wrong and I finally said the words I had been

avoiding all night... "I wanna go home" (which was actually his

girlfriend's house who lived in Boston... I'm from Maine). And he said

"okay". That was all he needed and he left, walking back towards where we

left the car. However, around 7:30ish the traffic in this area is really

weird I cant even explain it. But traffic can only go one way, instead of

both ways like normal.. So he couldn't get a ride back to the car and had

to walk, and then drive the car in traffic all the way to the stadium to

pick me up. So i had to wait a while, and while I did I heard clapping and

then a British voice say "hello Boston" and he started playing give me

love. I listened to him play and i only cried more because I was so

frustrated I couldn't go out there to see him. About half way through the

set, my dad showed up. They let him park in a no parking zone to come and

get me so he was right next to the enterance to the field. They were going

to put me in a wheelchair, but instead my dad came and helped me up. He was

holding me up straight and almost dragged me out of the first aid station,

into the stadium. I remember this part so well. The air hit me, I heard

Ed's voice clearly and saw him on stage, and suddenly, I let go of my dad,

and I was able to stand on my own... And I was fine. It was like a miracle.

I yelled to my dad over the music "is it too late to stay?" And he screamed

back "what??? After all that you wanna stay???" And I said yes, so, we

stayed. He went to go move the car (the girl was so nice who did the

parking, he told her the story, and he just needs to park the car and het

back in the stadium, how much would it cost. And the girl said park

wherever you want no charge. I thought that was seriously the sweetest

thing.) Sooo he did that, and since I was only 12 in a huge stadium, one of

the cops that was patroling the place stayed with me and asked me all kinds

of questions about Ed Sheeran, especially about the A-Team, when he played

it. He said "this isn't his song right?? Is this a cover?? I know this

song." And I told him it wad and told him all about it. It was the ideal

conversation for 12 year old me 😂 Anyway, my dad came back, we got to our

seats, and I actually met Andrea for a very brief moment! And before I knew

it, Taylor was playing. And I had made it through the entire show. I woke

up the next morning, still feeling a little sick but actually felt better

after eating, so I thought the worst was over. But, I was wrong... I didn't

know that one night would become my life... And god I wish I had gone to

the hospital... Maybe I would be okay now if I had... But anyway... A month

later (in August), it happened at my friends end of summer party. Then a

month later (in September), while I was at school... Each time worse than

the time before. Everyone had been informed I was having issues, but nobody

had seen anything happen yet. I seemed like myself. Then one day, I was on

my way to lunch with my friends, and I collapsed in the hallway... Same

thing happening. All my friends freaked out and 2 stayed with me while the

rest went to get the nurse. She actually thought I was dying, and honestly

I could've. She called my mom and said she wasn't sure if she should call

my mom or an ambulance. Then my mom came and got me and immedaitly took me

to my doctor (because she said next time it happens to come in so they

could monitor me). I was monitored and fell asleep, then 4 hours later i

woke up like nothing happened. After that i was pulled out of school and

constantly at the doctor. And I just got sicker and sicker... Which was

later diagnosed as... "Anxiety". By an unqualified doctor. He was a thyroid

doctor and diagnosed me with that?? As time went on, I got incredibly sick

to the point I can't even move. I have become completely disabled and lose

control of my body a lot. It's like my brain is disconnected from my body.

And I get this weird feeling im falling off a cliff and I cant feel my arms

and when that happens, I cant move at all. I cant even express how bad it

can get, how scary and painful it is. I'm a lot sicker than most people

think I am... I spend most days in bed, actually unable to move. I find

ways to keep my spirits up, luckily. Mostly its listening to Taylor and

watching friends but yeah 😂 I have days where I can't even sit up I'm so

dizzy and weak and it hurts so much. Its also terrifying when you don't

have full control over your own body. Absoultely terrifying. Although I

have okay days where I can stand up and function for a little bit, most

days lately have been like this... Bad and living from my bed due to

weakness and dizziness (extreme dizziness honestly). I have days where its

even a struggle to breathe, the most simple thing in the world. It gets

depressing at times... When you spend all ur time in bed or a wheelchair it

really can vet discouraging... But I'm still fighting. And I'm so happy I

am. And like I said, Taylor always lifts me up. Even on my worst, most

disabled and bed ridden days. Oh, that reminds me... I also have seizures

now, sadly. But I hadn't had what happened that night at the RED tour in a

while though... Until one night last year... While I was seeing Ed Sheeran

in Gillette Stadium 😂 Maybe its him?? I dont know 😂 Anyway, I spend most

days in bed, and I do online schooling now. I've seen Taylor twice since

then. For 1989 and for reputation. With 1989 I needed a lot of help but I

got through it. Reputation, it had gotten so bad I needed a wheelchair and

I still do whenever I go out, really. I dont have full control over my body

and I'm too weak and just very sick. I'm really hoping to go to lover fest

but if i do will need a wheelchair and even then I'll probably still feel

sick... But Taylors worth it ❤ Hopefully can get ada seating like with rep.

Wanted to keep this last part short but I think I failed 😂 Mainly wanted

to focus on the red tour. My health story is so incredibly long, I couldn't

say it all (maybe I will later). However, for now, I will tell you this, I

was diagnosed with a thyroid disease, migraines, and seizures. Then it was

discovered that all of this... Was advanced Lyme Disease... And it created

something called Dysautonomia (basically a disfunction of the autonomic

nervous system, which most people don't even realize they have, or how

important it is, until it makes you sick and either nearly kills or

cripples you... Depending on the kind though.) Also known as POTS, or

Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia Syndrome (there are actually 15 kids of

dysautonomia, that being one of them, I might possibly have more than one

kinda, were not sure yet. But its basically half cardiology half

neurology). And there's no cure... I could be this way, this disabled and

sick for a while... But there are treatments that might work luckily!!!

Since there are no Dysautonomia clinics in Maine, I either have to go to

New York, Baltimore, Cleveland, or Minneapolis. So looks like im taking a

trip! Sadly to a hospital, but still 😊 I honestly don't know how we'll pay

for it, but I need it, or I will spend my life like this. So I'm sure we'll

find a way... Like I always seem to do in life, no matter what 😊❤ Oh, and

funny thing is, I have something called PANS as well... So I have Pots and

Pans 😂😂😂 Anyway, I just wanted to share this with you guys because like

I said you guys are always so great and Taylor is my favorite artist so I

wanted to share it with the people who understand my love for her. I've

been a huge fan of her for 13 years (I'm 18, 19 next month, now). Theres

something about her... She's always helped me but especially now. She makes

me so happy and feel so safe during this time... Im fact, the only time i

smile like i did when I was younger,before all of this, is when I listen to

Taylor. I even have a Long Live tattoo on my wrist because I felt it

represented my love for her the most, and what we've made as a fandom, the

magic we've created. Plus, it reminds me that I'm fighting my battle (this

"dragon") with Taylor and her music on my side, as well as all of you. And

it makes me smile. I can't wait to get more Taylor tattoos... Honestly,

after all of this and the other health issues I faced as a baby and a

child, I can't believe I'm still here, that I'm still living... Especially

because since I've always been so sick with so many different illnesses and

health issues to the point I'm disabled, my immune system is so weak. I

truly cannot believe I'm still here. But... I guess my body just isn't

ready to give up. It hasn't yet at least!!! And it doesn't want to. It

won't. I'm strong. Me, and my body, want to fight until the very end. And

I'm grateful for that. So grateful that I am still alive, and still

fighting every day of my life. It might be hard, and I can't function or do

really anything but lay in bed and watch tv most days, but I'm just so

thankful that I'm still alive, that it's okay I have to be at the doctors

so much and have to take all these meds (I do anything at this point that

can help me even the slighest). And no matter what life throws at my

health, my body always fights it and gets right back up. I fall down 10

times, I stand up 11. And I could not have the courage and strength to do

this if it wasn't for my idol, Taylor Swift. I've been a fan of Taylor for

13 years (I'm 18 now, 19 next month) so her and her music have helped me

through every problem I have ever faced, and this is no different. She has

a song for everything, so I can always find something to listen to that

makes me feel like she understands and she's telling me it'll be okay...

And ever since LOVER came out, I've been listening to soon you'll get

better on days its really bad, and my girlfriend sends me that song on bad

days too... It makes me feel safe. And like I can fight this. Thank you,

Taylor. I will never be able to repay you. I may struggle with this every

single day im here on earth, but with your music and the support I feel

from the swiftie fam, I know I'll get through it. Anyway... I guess I

should end this here. Again, sorry this is so long but if you read this

thank you so much for taking the time to!! If you made it to this point,

I'm proud 😂❤ And it means the world to me, you have no idea. Im hoping

this will get to Taylor and maybe even Ed one day. I love you all so much

and once again, thank you for reading!! ❤❤❤

@taylorswift @taylornation 🌈❤ @taylornotices 💜

(Pic is from when I was in First Aid at Ed Sheeran. It was so bad there

they had to give me an IV. I was in the first aid station, wrapped up in my

nightmare before Christmas blanket, on a stretcher with an IV in my hand

pretty much the entire night. It was so painful. When I arrived to first

aid I was actually unresponsive. Like I knew what was happening but I

couldn't talk or open my eyes. All I could do was make very small

movements. It felt like my body was shutting down. I was having bad heart issues as well and they wanted to give me a medicine fot my nausea but since I had lyme disease it could make my heart issues worse so they had to give me an EKG... Right there at the concert 😂 Interesting... But, I got through it.

Like always 😊 So yeah thats where the

picture is from ❤)

#taylurking #taylorswift #taylorstans #taylornation #red #redtour #edsheeran #lymedisease #dysautonomia #taylorlurking #i love you taylor #tay #usertaylornotices #tswift

[sadwizardjessi]

MORE SPACE GRUMPS JESUS CHRIST I MUST BE STOPPED

Okay so I wrote more. This time Arin when he was first experimented on. I don't know how I feel about this fic? Like idont know :/ sorry. I like parts of it. But then others... But anyway. I'm not rewriting it so. Here :) @dannyaviclan i hope it's up to par! ----------------- A blinding light broke through his tightly held shut eyelids, causing Arin to wince. He didn't want to look. He didn't want to know what else they did to him. But eventually he'd have to look and taken in the monster he'd become. An exhausted sigh sounded above him. It was the nice one. The cyborg. He was different from the other scientists that operated on him. They hadn't spoken much but the man occasionally slipped Arin food and made sure he was unconscious when the surgeries begun. Arin suspected he too was a prisoner of sorts. “I'm sorry,” the man whispered, and Arin nodded. He understood. A sharp pain began in his finger tips as the drugs pushed in his veins pulled him back under. ------ The next time he woke up, he was alone. The sound a water dripping onto stone could be heard throughout the room he was kept in. Arin still couldn't get over how stereotypical his prison was. But then again, it was an underdeveloped planet. He slowly extended his limbs, wincing when his fingers scratched against the stone beneath him. They felt so sore. What? Arin Lifted his hand to the moon light streaming down through the too high window and sucked in a gasp. His fingers were elongated and pointed, light glinting off the sharpened tips. He slowly flexed them, wincing again as the hastily sewn muscles stretched and pulled. The stitches holding the skin together was visible, irritated and red. “what…,” he murmured, eyes stinging. His fears were coming true. He was becoming one of them. A monster. He curled into the corner, thick, pale green tail wrapping tightly around him. Arin couldn't even recognize himself anymore. How long until he was completely gone? ------- They trained him. Again and again until he was dripping with sweat and nearing unconsciousness. When he refused to comply Arin would be subjected to days, weeks, maybe months without food. He was never sure on the length of time. Just the intensifying pain in his stomach, tearing itself open as he starved. It wouldn't stop until finally he did as they asked and a slab of bloodied meat was tossed at him, sending him into a frenzied attack, ripping away tendons and muscle until there's nothing left. It was disgusting and humiliating but he couldn't stop. ‘This is torture,’ he thought. If only he knew. ------ His first mission was a simple task. Go in, retrieve the convict, and get out. It wasn't until he was facing the convict that he finally understood what his new purpose was. As the officer assigned to his watch stood in the back, observing his actions, Arin had managed to corner the convict. A raptor like creature native to the planet, begging for him to stop, that he swears he'll pay. Arin is confused. He was told this man committed a high crime of the state. Why was he… Before he could voice his concerns, a sharp ringing sounded through his head, making both him and the convict flinch harshly. “The criminal is resisting. Egoraptor, commence the eradication.” The man shouted no and Arin turned towards his superior, tail swishing behind him. He wanted to fight the command but the ringing sounded through his head again and it was becoming more and more difficult to remember what he was thinking. The more it sounded the more he seemed to forget. The officer repeated the command and Arin couldn't remember why it was wrong. That was the first time he was forced to kill. It certainly wasn't the last. -------- Was it months? Years? He didn't know. He couldn't remember when he first came here. Even His name was lost to him now. Only vague memories of his old life remained. All he knew was how to kill and when to eat. The surgeries stopped long ago. The ringing was almost constantly in his head. He'd been changed so much it was hard to remember what he looked like anymore. His nails and tail constantly itched to slice through the air, rip into thick skin. His teeth pulsed with the need to bite down on anything that looked his direction. He wanted to tear apart any and every living thing that got in his path. At least that's what the ringing told him. There was always a spark that fought against it. That shouted and banged and tried to rip apart the commands and thoughts given to him. But it was losing the fight. That much he knew. It was only a matter of time before he succumbed to the monster he'd become. ------- “Please! You don't understand! My friend is in there! I have to help him! I don't care if he's not the same. I'm not giving up on him.” “Look. I'm sorry about your friend but I can't help you. I've seen him. Hell, I operated on him! He's not coming back! It's better for everyone if you just forget about him. He's not even your species anymore.” A frustrated groan sounded across the holographic image as the distressed man rubbed his forehead. “Mark, please. You have to understand. He's my best friend. Brother even. He's my partner. And my superiors won't help me. No one will. I'm not asking for much. Just a way in. I'll take it from there.” “Do you even have a ship? You know if you do this you'll no longer be a part of your military. They'll kick you out of the ranks for disobeying an order if they don't kill you first.” “Yeah man. I just bought one off a man in the Andromeda district. Terra will never even know until it's too late. I don't care what they do to me. I'm saving Arin whether you help me or not. It'll just be a Hell of a lot easier if you do. I'll never contact you again just… please man. Put yourself in my shoes.” A robotic parrot flew onto the man's shoulder, as if adding his own support to the argument. “It's okay Jacques. We'll get him back.” Mark sighed, gripping the edge of his ships consol. “and I'm assuming the bird will be needing a way in as well?” “Well of course! Honestly, he's the brains behind this operation.” Pacing back and forth, Mark ruffled up his hair as he fought against his warring emotions. On one hand, Arin was a good man. It didn't take a genius to know that. And this might just be his best chance to be rescued. But on the other… Arin was dangerous. What they did to him? It'd be a miracle to get back the man he once was. Arin was forever changed. Mark himself had seen just how irreversible the transformation was. But… he was a good man. Is a good man. Arin deserves at least a chance. “If… if you get yourself killed don't… don't blame me. This is your own fault.” “So wait. You're saying you'll help us!?” “I'm saying I'll… I'll try. But there's one problem.” “Anything. Name it.” “You'll need a physician to attend to Arin once he's on the ship. He'll… need it. They did a lot to him. I did a lot to him. I don't even know if he'll survive from the physical changes alone. Right now he's being injected with strength and hormonal inducers in his sleep nearly every week. I'm not sure how he'll react to being off of them.” “I don't know anyone else willing to risk this for us. You're literally the only one. Can't you come with us?” “it'll be suspicious if I leave. And maybe… maybe they'll leave you alone. I can distract them. You'll need someone to lead them off course after you escape.” “I understand. But… you'll help us? Like really help us?” With another sigh, the robotic red eye moved over to his friend's face, locking eyes. Mark nodded solemnly, straightening his back. “Yes. I'll help you. I'll do whatever it takes to get Arin back to you, Jon. I promise.” ------- The plan wasn't easy. And it certainly didn't go over as smoothly as Jon would like, but it went and that was all that mattered. Jon made his way through the facility with the pass key Mark had given him, making his way down towards where they kept the prisoners. It was disgusting. The smell of manure and body oder and rotten meat assaulted his nose from every direction. But he kept on. Mark said Arin was down here. He wouldn't lie about that. A few more doors in and Jon was facing down a steel entrance, a slot covered in grease and other questionable substances sat in the middle. Jon could only assume it was meant as a feeding tool. As he approached, a low growing made it's way through the slot, sending the hair on his arms straight up. He hadn't seen what Arin had become but… Mark had told him it wasn't pretty. Jacque squawked in his ear, as if he too could feel the unease and the wrongness of the situation. But alas, Jon pressed on. With shaking hands, Jon got to the door, sweeping the key pad. He could hear locks tumbling in the door as it unlocked. He could hear a heavy thumping on the floor as the growling grew louder. He felt the communication device in his pocket. Mark had told him to press the button if Arin was too out of control so Mark would know to send the signal to shut him down. But if that happened then the facility would immediately be alerted to an intruder. Pushing open the door, Jon faced what he could only describe as a monster. Teeth as sharp as razors snapped angrily as claws were raised in defense. A thick tail swishing back and forth in short sporadic motions, showing the creatures irritation. All the while glowing yellow eyes stared Jon down. Jacque flew back out the door, squawking down the corridor. Jon had a similar thought, wanting to run from this horrifying creature as fast as possible, but as he took in all the danger, and the threatening extremities, he felt a pull in his chest. The blonde streak. After all this time, it was still there. Jon knew this creature was what was supposed to be Arin. Was supposed to be his best friend. “Oh man. What the hell did they do to you, buddy?” The creature only growled in response. Keeping his back to the partially open door, Jon held out his hands, showing peace, and slowly made his way forward. “Hey man. It's me, Jon. Remember? Do you remember me, Arin? Can you understand me at all?” Arin lunged. Luckily Jon had the sense to dive out of the way just in time, but that left the door exposed. Out he ran, slamming it shut behind him. Jon tried to catch it but he was too late. Arin was gone and he was trapped. “Ehh well ain't this a crock of shit.” --------- Pandemonium was wreaking havoc throughout the facility. Mark ran through the halls, no one even sparing him a glance as he went. OF COURSE he was watching the interaction between Jon and Arin. He wasn't just going to trust the man to actually call help when he needed it. He was too desperate to save his friend. So when Arin escaped and locked Jon inside, Mark had typed in the emergency evacuation code, sending the building into panic. Unfortunately, it also made everything significantly more difficult. Mark was still trying to make his way down to the dungeons while everyone else was trying to push him out of the building. Eventually he did make it to the dungeons though, no sign of Arin anywhere. He ran to the room Jon was trapped in, following the sounds of Jacque’s incessant squawking. “Okay Jacque. A little higher. I little more. Almost… almOST. ALMOST. NO FUCK DAMNIT SHIT.” The keycard fell to the ground as Jacque dropped it, a complicated looking device sticking out the feeding slot that appeared to be being used as a means of reflecting Jacque’s struggles to Jon. “Need any help there?” “Oh thank Fuck. I don't know how much longer i can take of this place.” Mark quickly set about unlocking the door with his own key when they heed the screaming. With a shared look, Mark and Jon took off down the hall, Jacque flying above. What the came to face was exactly what they both feared though. Arin was looming over a young woman of the raptor like species, drool dripping from his fangs and onto her crisp lab coat. She quickly glanced over towards Mark and Jon. “i-i- I just came to check on him! But he's out! How is he out!? Help me!” But as Jon stepped forward to try and distract Arin, his claws slashed the air, spraying blood across the room in thick droplets. He then bit harshly into the woman's neck, ripping chunks of meat off and swallowing it down with a heavy gulp. Jon was… horrified. This wasn't Arin. The beast set it's piercing gaze on his two former friends and growled threateningly. Arin took a step forward as Jon and Mark took a step back. “H-hey. Hey Arin. Why don't you take it easy now.” Jon quietly looked for a weapon to use but Mark shook his head, taking Jon's wrist. “we can't fight him. There's no way. We have to lure him up.” “what do you mean? How the Hell do we lure him anywhere?” “there's a second control lab on the first floor. If we get him there I can type in the codes to knock him out. Then you can carry him to the ship. Hopefully it'll cancel out the brainwashing too.” “Hopefully!? I thought you said you can get him back!?” “I said I can try, Jon. When this all started, they never intended to reverse anything. Just trust me, okay? He hasn't attacked us yet, right? Something is holding him back.” And it was true. Now that it was pointed out, Jon can clearly see the way Arin's arms and legs were straining. Asif caught between wanting to lunge for it's next victim and stay back and save them. “Okay. Okay I'll trust you. What do we do?” “We run and hope he bites. Ready?” Jon nods with a quick glance towards Mark. Arin growls louder, looking like the internal fight was edging more towards their demise. “1...2...RUN.” They both took off going on either side of Arin, causing the him to shout out in anger, swiping out blindly. Jon cried out, clutching his arm but when Mark slowed to ask, Jon waved him on, picking up speed. It was an issue he could wait to deal with. They ran as far as they could, wrenching the stair doors open, Arin not far behind. Taking two at a time, they vaulted up the stairs, skidding onto the first floor. Jon risked a glance back, fighting back a wince. There was his friend, who'd been missing for months now, chasing him with the intent to kill. If only the blood dripping down his lips wasn't enough. Making it to the lab, Jon sighed in relief after seeing that the floor was cleared. At least for the time being. Mark immediately set to the equipment, typing I'm commands left and right. Jon however had to keep Arin distracted as Mark worked. “Come on, man! Come at me!” Arin lunged, but luckily Jon managed to roll out of the way just in time, pulling out his gun. He shot at Arin's feet, making the beast lunge for him again. “Jon, what are you doing!? A fucking gun? You'll call all the guards back!” Jon shrugged with his good arm, though his pinched expression betrayed his attempt at ease. “Well. Then you better work fast, Mark! I don't know how much longer I can keep evading this son of a Bitch. Come on, Arin! Show me what you got!” Arin, frustrated, growls in response. He whips his tail from side to side, prowling around Jon, though his yellow eyes occasionally flicker to Mark, watching for a threat. Mark hits the computer with a curse. “It's not working! Jon, it's not fucking working! I think-I think he's fighting it. Keep talking to him! Maybe he's breaking through.” Jon huffs and jumps out of the way of another slash. He sees Jacque fly in the doorway, flapping in distress. “Is this all you are, Arin? Just a monster? Are you really going to let them get away with this!? Are you really that weak! I thought you were stronger than that, Arin. After everything we've been through! You're going to let these fucking dinosaurs control you?” Shaking his head in agitation, Arin roared, scratching and swiping more sporadically. Jon only missed it by an inch. He was becoming more and more unpredictable. Soldiers suddenly swarmed in the room, guns raised, surrounding them. Five total, all shouting in incomprehensible commands all swirling together. Arin tensed, frantically looking around at all the new threats. Mark raised his hands in surrender, but the soldiers weren't focused on him. They were more concerned with the human aiming his gun at the obvious Captain of the platoon. “Leave! Now! He's out of control!” But the men didn't listen. They only cocked their guns, ready for the command to fire. One trigger happy soldier though didn't heed any warnings, firing at Arin. The creature howled in pain, turning on the soldier. He raised his gun higher, ready to shoot again. “Stand down, Egoraptor! This is a commanding official. You will stand down!” As Arin tensed for another attack though, Jon saw the soldier readying for another shot. Not thinking, he ran forward, jumping between his friend and the gun. A distressed and choked back, “JON!” was screamed, but before he could take in what had happened, Jon was on the ground, blood spraying across the air. There were screams. And guns firing. And defiantly lots of blood. Jon was unaware how long the fight lasted, but at one point, Mark had appeared and pulled him to the side, grabbing his gun before leaving again. The world was growing dimmer as the fight carried on. The screaming turned from many to just one voice. Despair twined within it. And then everything went black. -------- His body hurt. Nearly every inch of him throbbed in excruciating pain. With a sharp intake of breath, Arin struggled to sit up and… that was weird. Though he hurt, he felt light. Nothing was pushing down on him. Nothing was nudging his mind this way and that, clouding up his thoughts and emotions. He looked around, trying to move slowly, taking in his surroundings. The room looked very similar to a military medbay on a transport ship. But this wasn't something the raptors would have. It's obviously built for more humanoid beings, some of the spaces a little narrow to comfortably fit a long sweeping tail. “Hello?” Called Arin with his scratchy voice, honestly not expecting a response. Which is why he jumped when suddenly there was a voice coming from the ceiling. “Good Afternoon, Captain Hanson. I'm glad to see you're awake. How are you feeling?” “uhhhh,” was his intelligent reply. Arin looked around a bit frantically. “where are you? Who are you?” “My name is B.A.R.R.Y. I won't bother you with what it stands for. I am the artificial intelligence that runs this ship. I am everywhere and nowhere.” “uh huh. Okay. And why did you call me Captain Hanson?” “Because I was instructed that if my previous Captain ever perished then I was to begin reporting to you, Captain Hanson.” “Right. Okay first, you don't have to call Me that. Just call me Arin. Second, who was your previous Captain?” “As you command, Arin. And my previous own was Captain Jon Jafari.” And that's when the searing pain returned, striking like hot iron through his skull. He suddenly remembered what happened before he woke up. He was about to be killed. But Jon jumped in his way. Jon was hit. Mark rushed to pull him out of the way without agitating the bullet wound further. Then Arin's vision turned red and the voice telling him to obey was shut down as he slaughtered and tore apart everything. Then his memory gets hazy with Mark half carrying him as he sobbed and demanded to go back and save Jon. But Jon was gone. Arin looked away from the ceiling, knowing it was pointless, but not wanting Barry to see him cry. He wiped at his face and cleared his throat, silently thanking Barry for not commenting on his weakness. “Barry, where's… where is Mark?” “He's currently set a course to a nearby planet. Planet a-137. I believe the residents there call it Quantis. He has a contact there that will hopefully help him get home.” Arin hums in response, standing up on shaky knees, his tail landing next to him with a dull thud. He was a Captain now. He was free from the raptors. He'd lost a friend. But damnit, he was going to push forward. First he needed a crew. This was his ship now after all and out couldn't be manned alone. A decal in the paneling of the wall caught his eye. It was done form of hieroglyphic? But honestly it just kind of looked like a star next to a bunch of bombs. But that was it! “We'll be the bombers! Taking residence within the Starbomb.” He could almost feel Barry smile, despite how impossible that was. “Well then, Captain Arin. Welcome aboard the Starbomb.” Maybe things were looking up. But first, he needed to find out who this contract of Mark's was. Didn't the people of Quantis have some green tentacle thing going on with them?

#space grumps #space grumps au #raptor!arin #fanfic #my fic #I hope you like it #:D #dannyaviclan #I really need to stop this #me

[ernmark]

i just wanted to tell you that i read through all of your penumbra fic in like two days (too quickly to leave comments, it was so good and i needed all of it, i swear i'll go back and comment) and i loved it and now i'm following you because fic and also you seem deeply cool so thanks for that (and not to be awkward but what's your policy on prompts? because i would die for a continuation of, well, anything, but especially the pushing daisies au) anyways a+ fic 11/10 would die of emotions again

Thank you!

Also, holy crap on getting through them all in two days. There’s a whole lot to read, and not all of it is in coherent order. 

Here’s Part 1 of the Pushing Daisies AU, for those who don’t remember (or haven’t read it yet).

I’m always a bit wary of writing characters that we haven’t met yet in canon, especially when there’s such a heavy implication that we’re going to sometime in the future. But in this case, I’m glad I did. I like how this one turned out.

Thank you for the prompt~

Pain arcs through Juno’s nerves, overwhelming his senses and confusing his nerves. His eyes are wide open even after he hits the ground. He can see it happen in jolts and starts: his mother lowering a laser. Tucking it into her pocket. Standing over him.

She’s muttering something, but his brain is too fried by that laser to make any sense out of it. Besides, he’s got a pretty good idea of what she’s saying; he grew up with her, after all.

She grabs him by the back of his shirt. His collar digs into his throat, and suddenly he can’t breathe. He’s choking, strangled by his own clothes as she drags him back toward the car. 

Toward the body bag in the back seat.

Toward Rex.

Juno wants to fight her off, to struggle or thrash or dig his heels in, but he can’t. He’s still stunned from that laser to the chest, motionless except for a few erratic twitches as his overwhelmed nerves fire nonsensically. He needs to slow her down– just by a few seconds, just long enough for the universe to balance the equation that he left unfinished– but he can’t. Dammit, he can’t move. She’s going to force him to murder Rex all over again. Only this time, there’ll be no bringing him back.

She pulls open the back door or the car.

“What the hell?” she demands, looking around. “He was just here!”

From his vantage point on the ground, Juno can see the edge of an empty body bag draped across the back seat. He can see his mother, unnaturally huge and imposing as she looms over him, her face distorted in panic and fury.

And he can see Rex creeping up behind her.

One hand wraps around her wrist while the other arm folds around her throat. The laser in her hand flashes like a strobe light, but its beams hit nothing but long-abandoned concrete. She thrashes and spits– and suddenly goes limp in Rex’s arms.

The equation is balanced.

He lets her fall, and immediately he sinks to his knees. He reaches out. “Juno, are–”

“Don’t touch me!” It’s a miracle of timing and willpower that he’s able to spit the words out in time. Rex’s hands hover over him, mere inches from his face. “Don’t– don’t touch me,” he says again. “You touch me, and you’ll die. Again. Permanently.” 

Rex draws back, looking pale. Or maybe that’s from having been dead a few seconds ago.

“Are you alright, Juno?” he asks carefully, but he keeps his distance. 

“Fine. It’s nothing she hasn’t done before.” 

“Ah.” Peter regards the corpse beside him. “I take it you know this woman, then.”

“More than I’d like to.” He drags himself to his feet. “That’s my mother.”

There’s a ring of bruises around Juno’s throat where his collar dug into his neck. His voice will be hoarse for days. His head is still swimming with the weight of what he’s done– murdering his mother, reviving a mobster, and doing both to Rex Glass, all within four hours. 

He doesn’t want to think about it, so he doesn’t. Instead he lays on the couch and watches Rex work.

It’s almost mesmerizing. His hands are long, slender, and confident as they move over the paperwork. 

They discussed it on the drive up from Oldtown: Mars isn’t safe for Rex anymore. The Kanagawa family is extensive, and none of them are going to take it well if they find out Rex is alive. Juno isn’t sure what they’d do to him, but he knows it will be painful. Nobody crosses the Kanagawas. 

Besides, the farther Rex is from Juno, the less tempting it’ll be to touch him.

“You look like you’ve done this before,” he says, just to make conversation. 

Rex hums. “Once or twice, perhaps.” 

More than that, Juno knows. Enough to select the proper card stock by touch. Enough to mix the ultraviolet ink by feel. Enough to pull serial numbers and system codes out of his head without a thought for reference. When he pulls up a photo, it’s directly from an IP address from some faraway system, protected by half a dozen passwords and encryptions. When he’s finished, Juno goes over the paperwork twice and compares it to copies of real documents in his files. The forgeries are flawless. 

“Is Rex even your real name?” Juno asks. 

He looks up, an odd look on his face. “Of course it isn’t.”

Juno doesn’t know why that surprises him, but Rex-- whoever he is-- laughs. “Come now, do you really think I’d tell the Kanagawas my real name so easily? I already told you: I swore I’d take it to the grave.” 

Rex says he can take a cab, but Juno insists on driving him to the spaceport. There might be more risk, but it’s worth it to share a few more minutes with this man.

Once Rex gets on that spaceship, he’s never coming back to Mars. Juno’s never going to see him again.

Juno drives slowly. The drive seems to take forever, but it’s still too short. There’s never enough time between the two of them. There will never be enough time.

Juno puts the car in park and lets it hover. “Well, here we are.”

His gloved hands squeeze the steering wheel. He wants to walk Rex the rest of the way inside, to the terminal, to the gate, to his seat. He knows better. They shouldn’t be seen together. It’s bad enough that he came this far. 

He’s not sure he can stand watching Rex leave, so he stares straight ahead, his jaw set, barely breathing.

Until a hand takes his. 

He looks up, his blood already racing in a panic. If Rex touches him--

But Rex is only making contact with the synth-leather gloves. Juno loosens his grip and allows Rex to unwind his fingers from around the steering wheel. He can’t look away as their fingers intertwine.

His breath catches.

Stop that, he should say. It’s not worth it.

You’re risking your life just to hold my hand. 

"My name is Peter.” His voice is soft, but sure. “Peter Nureyev.” 

There’s a weight to the words. Juno catches them and holds them tight. Commits the syllables to memory.

“I thought you said nobody could know.”

“I said I’d take it to the grave. And it seems I already have.” His lids close over those bright eyes, and he bends his head over their joined hands. Juno can feel those lips through his gloves. “Thank you, Juno.” 

“Peter--”

Don’t go, he wants to say. 

Stay with me. 

Let me go with you.

I love you.

“Take care of yourself.”

“I will,” Peter Nureyev promises, and he gives Juno’s hand one last squeeze.

Then he opens the car door and disappears. 

#scarletclarinet #the penumbra podcast #writing prompt #fanfiction #I'm weak for hand kisses #my god