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c-is-for-circinate · 3 years

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For a long, large part of my life, being queer in a media landscape--finding queerness in a media landscape--has meant theft.

I'm a Fandom Old, somehow, these days, older than most and younger than some, in that way that's grown associated with grumpy crotchetyness and shotguns on porches and back in my day, we had to wade through our Yahoo Groups mailing lists uphill both ways, boring and irrelevant anecdotes from Back In Those Days when homophobia clearly worked differently than it does now, probably because we weren't trying hard enough. I've seen a lot of stories through the years. I've read a lot of fanfic. (More days than not, for the past twenty years. I've read a lot of fanfic.)

When people my age start groaning and sighing at conversations about representation and queerbaiting, when we roll our eyes and drag all the old war stories out again in the face of AO3 is terrible and Not Good Enough, so often what we say is: you Young Folks Today have no idea how hard, how scary, how limiting it was to be queer anywhere Back In Those Days. Including online, maybe especially online, including in a media landscape that hated us so much more than any one you've ever known. And that is true. Always and everywhere, again and again, it's true, we remember, it's true.

We don't talk so much about the joy of it.

Online fan spaces were my very first queer communities, ever. I was thirteen, I was fourteen, I was fifteen--I was a lonely, over-precocious "gifted kid" two years too young for my grade level in an all-girls' Catholic school in the suburbs--I lived in a world where gay people were a rumor and an insult and a news story about murder. I was straight, of course, obviously, because real people were straight and anyway I was weird enough already--I couldn't be two things strange, couldn't be gay too, but--well, I could read the stories. I could feel things about that. I would have those stories to help me, a few years later, when I knew I couldn't call myself straight any more.

And those stories were theft. There was never any doubt about that. We wrote disclaimers at the top of every fic, with the specter of Anne Rice's lawyers around every corner. We hid in back-corners of the internet, places you could only find through a link from a link from a link on somebody else's recs page, being grateful for the tiny single-fandom archives when you found them, grateful for the webrings where they existed. It was theft, all of it, the stories about characters we did not own, the videotaped episodes on your best friend's VHS player, one single episode pulled off of Limewire over the course of three days.

It was theft, we knew, to even try and find ourselves in these stories to begin with. How many fics did I read in those days about two men who'd always been straight, except for each other, in this one case, when love was stronger than sexual orientation? We stole our characters away from the heterosexual lives they were destined to have. We stole them away from writers and producers and TV networks who work overtime to shower them in Babes of the Week, to pretend that queerness was never even an option. This wasn't given to us. This wasn't meant for us. This wasn't ours to have, ever, ever in the first place. But we took it anyway.

And oh, my friends, it was glorious.

We took it. We stole. And again and again, for years and years and years, we turned that theft into an art. We looked for every opening, every crack in every sidewalk where a little sprout of queerness might grow, and we claimed it for our own and we grew whole gardens. We grew so sly and so skilled with it, learning to spot the hints of oh, this could be slashy in every new show and movie to come our way. Do you see how they left these character dynamics here, unattended on the table? How ripe they are for the pocketing. Here, I'll help you carry them. We'll make off with these so-called straight boys, and we only have to look back if somebody sets out another scene we want for our own.

We were thieves, all of us, and that was fine and that was fair, because to exist as queer in the world was theft to begin with. Stolen time, stolen moments--grand larceny of the institution of marriage, breaking and entering to rob my mother's hopes for grandchildren. Every shoplifted glance at the wrong person in the locker room (and it didn't matter if we never peeked, never dared, they called us out on it anyway). Every character in every fic whose queerness became a crime against this ex-wife, that new love interest. Every time we dared steal ourselves away from the good straight partners we didn't want to date.

And: we built ourselves a den, we thieves, wallpapered in stolen images and filled to the brim with all the words we'd written ourselves. We built ourselves a home, and we filled it with joy. Every vid and art and fic, every ship, every squee. Over and over, every straight boy protagonist who abandoned all womankind for just this one exception with his straight boy protagonist partner found gay orgasms and true love at the end.

Over and over, we said: this isn't ours, this isn't meant to be ours, you did not give this to us--but we are taking it anyway. We will burglarize you for building blocks and build ourselves a palace. These stories and this place in the world is not for us, but we exist, and you can't stop us. It's ours now, full of color and noise, a thousand peoples' ideas mosaic'ed together in celebration. We made this, and it will never be just yours again. You won't ever truly get it back, no matter how many lawyers you send, not completely. We keep what we steal.

Things shifted over time, of course. That's good. That's to be celebrated. Nobody should have to steal to survive. It should not be a crime, should not feel like a crime, to find yourself and your space in the world.

There were always content creators who could slip a little wink in when they laid out their wares, oh what's this over here, silly me leaving this unattended where anybody could grab it, of course there might be more over by the side door if you come around the alleyway (but if anybody asks, you didn't get this from ME). We all watched Xena marry Gabrielle, in body language and between the lines. We sat around and traded theories and rumors about whether the people writing Due South knew what they were doing when they sent their buddy cops off into the frozen north alone together at the end of the show, if they'd done it on purpose, if they knew. But over the years, slowly, thankfully, the winks became less sly.

A teenage boy put his hand on another teenage boy's hand and said, you move me, and they kissed on network TV, in a prime-time show, on FOX, and the world didn't burn down. Here and there, where they wanted to, where they could without getting caught by their bosses and managers, content creators stopped subtly nudging people around the back door and started saying, "Here. This is on offer here too, on purpose. You get to have this, too."

And of course, of course that came with a whole host of problems too. Slide around to the back door but you didn't get this from me turned into it's an item on our special menu, totally legit, you've just got to ask because the boss throws a fit if we put it out front. Shopkeepers and content creators started advertising on the sly, come buy your fix here!, hiding the fine print that says you still have to take what you've purchased home and rebuild it with your semi-legal IKEA hacks. Maybe they'll consider listing that Destiel or Sterek as a full-service menu item next year. Is that Crowley/Aziraphale the real thing or is it lite?

And those problems are real and the conversations are worth having, and it's absolutely fair to be frustrated that you can't find the ship you want on sale in anything like your color and size in a vast media landscape packed full of discount hetships and fast-fashion m/f. It's fair to be angry. It's fair to be frustrated. Queerbait is a word that exists for a reason.

There's a part of me that hurts, though, every time the topic comes up. It's a confusing, bad-mannered part of me, but it's still very real. And it's not because I'm fawning for crumbs, trying to be the Good, Non-Threatening Gay. It's not that I'm scared and traumatized by the thought of what might happen if we dare raise our voices and ask for attention. (Well. Not mostly. I'll always remember being quiet and scared and fifteen, but it's been a long two decades since then. I know how to ask for a hell of a lot more now.)

It's because I remember that cozy, plush-wallpapered den of joyful thieves. I remember you keep what you steal.

Every single time--every time--when a story I love sets a couple of characters out on a low, unguarded table, perfectly placed to be pilfered on the sly and taken home and smushed together like a couple of dolls, my very first thought is always, always joy. Always, that instinct says, yay! Says, this is ours now. As soon as I go home and crawl into that pillow-fort den, my instincts say, I will surely find people already at work combing through spoils and finding new ways to combine them, new ways to make them our own. I know there's fic for that. I've already seen fic for that, and I wasn't really interested last time, but the new store display's got my brain churning, and I can't wait to see what the crew back at the hideout does with this.

Every time, that's where my brain goes. And oh, when I realize the display's put out on purpose, that somebody snuck in a legitimate special menu item, when the proprietor gives me the nod and wink and says, you don't have to come around the side, I know it's not much but here--there is so much joy and relief and hope in me from that! Oh, what we can make with these beautiful building blocks. Oh what a story we can craft from the pieces. Oh, the things we can cobble together. Look at that, this one's a little skimpy on parts but we can supplement it, this one's got a whole outline we can fill in however we want. This one technically comes semi-preassembled, and that's boring as shit and a pain to take back apart, but that's fine, we'll manage. We're artists and thieves. I bet someone's pulling out the AU saw to cut it to pieces already.

And then I get back to our den, which has moved addresses a dozen times over the years and mostly hangs out on Tumblr now (and the roof leaks and the landlord's sketchy as fuck but at least they don't charge rent, and we've made worse places our own). And I show up, ready for joy--ready for a dozen other people who saw that low-hanging fruit on that unguarded table, who got the nod and wink about the special menu item, who're ready to get so excited about this newest haul. Did you see what we picked up? The theft was so easy, practically begging to be stolen. The last owner was an idiot with no idea what to do with it. The last owner knew exactly what it could become, bless their heart, under a craftsman with more time on their hands, so they looked away on purpose at just the right time to let me take it home. I show up every time ready for our space, the place that fed me on joy and self-confidence when I was fifteen and starving. The place that taught me, yes, we are thieves, because it is RIGHT to take what we need, and the beautiful things we create are their own justification. We are thieves, and that's wonderful, because nothing is handed to us and that means we get to build our own palaces. We get to keep everything we steal.

I go home, and even knowing the world is different, my instincts and heart are waiting for that. And I walk in the door, and I look at my dash, and I glance over at twitter, and--

And people are angry, again. Angry at the slim pickings from the hidden special menu. So, so tired and angry, at once again having to steal.

And they're right to be! Sometimes (often, maybe) I think they're angry at the wrong people--more angry with the shopkeeper who offers the bite-sized sampler platter of side characters or sneaks their queer content in on the special menu than the ones who don't include it at all. But it's not wrong to be mad that Disney's once again advertising their First Gay Character only to find out it's a tiny sprinkle of a one-line extra on an otherwise straight sundae. It's not wrong to be furious at the world because you've spent your whole life needing to be a thief to survive. It's far from wrong. I'm angry about it too.

But this was my den of thieves, my chop shop, my makerspace. Growing up in fandom, I learned to pick the locks on stories and crack the safes of subtext at the very same time I learned to create. They were the same thing, the same art. We are thieves, my heart says, we are thieves, and that's what makes us better than the people we steal from. We deconstruct every time we create. We build better things out of the pieces.

And people are angry that the pre-fab materials are too hard to find, the pickings too slim, the items on sale too limited? Yes, of course they are, of course they should be--but my heart. Oh, my heart. Every single time, just a little bit, it breaks.

Of course the stories are terrible (they have always been terrible). Of course they are, but we are thieves. We steal the best parts and cobble them back together and what we make is better than it was before. The craftsman's eye that cases a story for weak points, for blank spaces, for anywhere we can fit a crowbar and pry apart this casing--that's skill and art and joy. Of course we shouldn't have to, of course we shouldn't have to, but I still love it. I still want it, crave it. I still thrill every time I see it, a story with hairline cracks that we can work open with clever hands to let the queer in.

That used to be cause for celebration, around here. I ask him to go back to the ruins of Aeor with me, two men together alone on an expedition in the frozen north, it feels like a gift. And I understand why some people take it as an insult. I understand not good enough. I understand how something can feel like a few drops of water to someone dying of thirst, like a slap in the face. If it was so easy to sneak it hidden onto the special menu, to place it on the unguarded side table for someone else to run off to, why not let it sit out front and center in the first place? I know it's frustrating. It should be. We should fight. We should always fight. I know why.

But my heart, oh, my heart. My heart only knows what it's been taught. My heart sees, this thing right here, the proprietor left it there for you with a nod and a wink because they Get It. It's not put together yet, but it's better that way anyway. It's so full of pieces to pull apart and reassemble. I bet they've got a whole mosaic wall going up at home already. We can bring it home and make it OURS, more than it was ever theirs, forget half of what it came from and grow a new garden in what remains.

And I go home to find anger, and my heart breaks instead.

#I don't actually know how to tag this #representation #maybe?#C needs help feeding the dinosaurs #because this is very much about being a fandom old #probably also #driveby meta attack #because that's where I keep my impromptu rambles #CR spoilers #technically I guess?#there's one line that references the finale #fandom history

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hongism · 3 years

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ateez reaction to their s/o being pregnant:

he would be absolutely over the moon first of all

beaming overjoyed so thrilled

he would immediately be thinking of names as soon as he gets the news

then he would be asking you all sorts of questions

whether you’re okay, how you’re feeling, whether you need him to more

he would definitely take up more chores around the house for you

he just wants to make sure you have the most painless experience you can possibly have

and if you’re uncomfy or in pain, then he’s gonna feel the same bc it hurts to see him baby in pain :((

will be singing to your stomach every single night before you go to bed

will be playing music for the baby and holding his phone speaker to your stomach

“how many pairs of socks do you think the baby will need?”

“should we get a backup stroller? no? too much?”

seonghwa was Made to be a parent okay

he has such a caretaker attitude to him and being a parent would be his biggest accomplishment

just having a baby and taking care of you throughout your pregnancy would be his life goals

he would drop Everything for you esp during your pregnancy

and when he first gets the news, he wont want to leave you alone for a second

he might get a bit overbearing at times but it’s all out of love

he Will rub your feet and ankles without complaint

he will OFFER to do it even if you’re like “ew gross honey no”

he just needs to take care of you so don’t deprive him of that he’s fragile too

“i can go to the store right now if you need me to” “you’re making dinner” “and?”

“don’t open the door, i’ll do it for you, okay?”

more under the cut!

yunho would be the Absolute Best Father

he was also made to be a parent

he’s the type who would talk to your stomach constantly throughout your pregnancy

he would tell the baby about his day and your day

he would gush about you and talk about how wonderful you are

would try to help out and do more chores

but somehow he always manages to get the vacuum cord tangled around your houseplant and knocks it over every time

and you’re like “babe just let me do it”

but he’s determined to Help so you just have to let him do it

he would 10/10 be littering you with compliments 24/7

“wow you’re glowing today look at you”

“is that a new outfit? you look amazing!”

yeosang is a sleeper fr bc he might not seem like it but he secretly wants a baby so badly

he might be a little quiet in his excitement and happiness but seriously he’s so!!!

you’ll probably get calls from the other members like ‘pls shut him up he will not stop talking about the baby’

but he gets shy about showing his excitement in front of you

especially if you’re in pain because he will feel bad for not being able to do more for you

so he’ll suddenly show up with your favorite things and a new blanket or he’ll randomly prepare baths for you

he will do little things that add up a lot bc he just wants to do whatever he can to make you comfortable

“i got your favorite takeout for tonight, i figured you’d want it”

“i went out and bought the baby supplies you had written down”

i keep saying this but honestly all of ateez would be such great dads like come on

and SAN would be a stellar father

he’s so caring and gentle and lovely

such a precious bean :c who just wants to give you the universe

and he’ll want to do the same for the baby too

that’s his baby yes he’s gonna do anything for his child

even before the baby is born, san will be spoiling tf out of her

super fascinated whenever he sees the baby kick

like omg that’s in you?! that’s in you! woah that’s so neat?

he’ll have so many questions too like does it hurt how do you feel all that jazz

he will give you daily massages and sing to you softly to make you feel better :c

“omg i heard a heartbeat” “that’s my stomach growling idiot” “omg the baby spoke to me just now”

“i picked up three strollers today - a day stroller, a night stroller, and a groovy stroller for park days” “you what.”

mingi would be so overjoyed to the point of tears like mans will be sobbing when you tell him you’re pregnant

he won’t know what to say so he’ll just motion to your stomach and cry harder

he’s so ready to be a dad but at the same time he’s really nervous

even when not around you, he will just always be asking questions

the other will be like “he asked about babies for six hours today but i don’t think he retained any information”

he will have a little notebook to keep track of things to do

keeps notes on how to change diapers and how to properly burp and feed a baby

he just wants to make sure everything is Perfect for his little one

writes down little love letters to the baby too once a week

so that he can give them to your child later on

and he would be so excited about it

“look baby i wrote another letter for mini me!”

“if the baby starts crying in the middle of the night, don’t worry about getting up. i’ll take care of everything”

it would take a minute for wooyoung to realize what’s going on

even if you say “i’m pregnant” he might just go ._. for a minute before he realizes what you’ve said and it really sinks in

then cue loud screaming and happiness

he is still going to be as chaotic and loud as ever

just with a bit more excitement now bc! he’s gonna be a dad! he’s so excited

sometimes though on late nights where you two are up bc you aren’t feeling well

he’ll admit that he’s really scared of messing up along the way

and he worries about whether he’ll be a good father

but he’ll get back to feeling better and less anxious after you talk him down some

he may not be the best helper but! he’s trying his best and that’s all that is important okay

“i got pickles!” “wooyoung i hate pickles” “omg really? i read that pregnant people love pickles :((” “i’ll eat one pickle just for u”

“i’m getting the baby a dinosaur costume so we can set her loose in the dorm and watch her terrorize seonghwa” “wooyoung no”

jongho would try to contain how happy and excited he is

he doesn’t want to startle you with how thrilled he is but he’s over the moon

will probably just sit around and think about it all the time for weeks

10/10 would sit around and laugh and smile to himself while thinking about the baby

the others might call and be like “he’s doing the thing again” so you would have to call and ask him how he’s doing and stuff like that

the two of you could probably spend hours on the phone just talking about the baby

he would 10000% sing to you and the baby both

definitely get on his knees in front of you and sing to your stomach

just too much elation to be contained in his body

best helper tho like jongho is good at everything and he will Prove it dammit

“i set up the cradle today and put it in the spare room for now, but i’ll move it into our room when the time comes”

“do you think the baby will recognize our voices by the time she’s born? will she recognize my singing?”

#ateez reaction #ateez reactions #ateez fluff #ateez dad au #hongjoong fluff #seonghwa fluff #yunho fluff #yeosang fluff #san fluff #wooyoung fluff #mingi fluff #jongho fluff

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xaphrin · 5 years

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Confessions

@damnshipper asked: I have a idea for Damirae AU if you like it Well Damian Wayne is Batman and Raven is Gotham City detective. One of the best. And like Jim Gordon with Bruce she and batman are friends and partners. She didn't know who is he. This to idiots have a romantic feeling to each other but prefer work than feelings. And one day Raven meets him on the roof next to batsignal and Damian admits his feelings to Raven and reveals his identity. So?

This got WILDLY out of control, and is unfortunately missing both the rooftop and the Batsignal, but does include some inappropriate behavior and donuts, so I hope that makes up for it.

- - -

“You’re not even part of this department, you know. You’re only here because Captain Grayson worked with your father for so long - feeding Bruce Wayne whatever information he asked for.” Raven could be such a damn hard ass sometimes, and was always trying to keep him out of Grayson’s office. She took a long drag of her coffee and snapped the file out of his hands, her stare steely.

Damian watched her throat work as she drank her coffee, and found the muscles in her jaw utterly fascinating. A lock of hair fell out of her ponytail and curled at the corner of her eye, and he had the strongest urge to brush it away. He found himself wanting to run his fingertips along her jaw, his thumb sliding along her full lower lip. She was beautiful, and he hated that she practically despised him like this. He winced and glanced away, pretending to be interested in the raucous sounds coming from the police scanner in the corner. Three years of working with her and he was still a damned mess when it came to her.

She finished her lukewarm coffee and stood up, setting her hands on her hips. “You can’t just go wandering into the GCPD because you feel like you’re some kind of detective too. You’re not supposed to be privy to the information here, and I’m not going to let you walk all over me and my cases just because your name is on every damn building in Gotham.”

Damian glared at her, his nostrils flaring in annoyance, his patience wearing thin. “I’ve known you long enough that you should know that you can at least trust me with this information.”

“Known me?”

Ah, perhaps that wasn’t exactly what he should have said. True he knew her, but she definitely didn’t know him. Or, at least, she didn’t know Damian Wayne as well as she knew his other self. He bit the side of his tongue to keep himself from reacting, and wondered how his father managed to keep dual lives so easily. Then again, father had warned him that being Batman wasn’t easy. Maybe this was more what he was talking about than the actual detective work and ridiculous no-kill policy.

“Mister Wayne.” Her voice was cold and edged with poison. “You barely know me. You waltz in here with donuts for Grayson and ooze information out of him like water from a sponge. If you want more information than what we give the media, and the media gives you, then bring in your stupid donuts and take it up with Grayson.”

Raven leveled a heavy stare at him, enough that Damian had to take a step back. She nearly slammed her coffee cup on her desk and sat back down. “I have work to do, and I suggest that you find another detective to annoy so I can actually do it.”

His lips twitched and he thought about spilling all of the truth there, about who he was and what their relationship actually was, but somehow he managed to keep his cool. He straightened his back and took a step back. “Fine. Where is Grayson?”

“Out.” Raven didn’t look up from the file in front of her. “I’m not his babysitter.”

Damian glared at her, and without another word, he turned on his heel and stepped out of the precinct. She could be damned infuriating when she wanted to. He was so close to yelling at her and letting her know that she already gave him all the information he wanted, but he wore a different suit. But that would have definitely damaged whatever working relationship they might have had. He had to tread carefully, and tell her when he was ready. Which might not be anytime soon.

Shoving his hands in his pockets, he walked down the stairs to his car out front and slid behind the wheel. He felt hopeless when it came to Raven when he wasn’t in the cowl, and realizing that made him angry. He was a grown man, an ex-assassin with the league, was on the board at Wayne Industries, was the goddamn Batman, and yet he couldn’t even talk to a damn girl - and one he liked no less. He was absolutely useless.

Grinding his teeth together, all he could think about was the way her lips wrapped around his name and the curl of her hair as it fell down from her ponytail, and the way her eyes swept over him like she was trying to decide if he was attractive or not. Damian glanced at his reflection in the rearview mirror. He didn’t think he was unattractive. He sat there in silence for a long moment, staring at the lights winking along his dashboard, trying to decide if he should trust her with his most carefully guarded secret. He didn’t want to trust anyone with that, least of all her.

But, then again, he had already trusted her with so much else.

Damian sighed and took off down the streets, his skin practically itching. He needed to burn off some goddamn steam, but he knew where his night would end up - where it almost always inevitably ended up.

“Shouldn’t you be in bed?”

Raven turned and lifted an eyebrow at him, her expression almost playful, and Damian couldn’t help but notice all the difference between her three hours ago and her now. She stretched out along the fire escape of her apartment building, dressed in a pair of soft, jersey shorts and a tank top. She tilted her head back against the railing as she stared up through the metal grating to the sky, exposing the long line of her throat. He turned towards her, maneuvering his cape out of the way, but still feeling it get caught on the edge of the railing. He really needed to make some changes to this damned suit, this was embarrassing.

“Shouldn’t you be out trying to solve the world’s problems all on your own?” Her lips curled into a teasing smile in just a way that made his blood heat to boiling. She was testing every last vestige of his control, and she didn’t even know it. Raven pushed her hair out of her eyes and turned back towards him, her eyes watching his face. An empty glass sat next to her, and Damian knew she probably had a few fingers of bourbon before he arrived. “You almost never visit me at home, so this must be important. What’s this about?”

“I need details about the string of murders down by the docks. From what I know, they have all the hallmarks of an old foe, and I need to be certain it isn’t him.”

“Ah. So, this isn’t a personal visit? Pity.” She stood up and stretched, the hem of her tank top lifting up to show the pale expanse of her stomach and the dip of her belly button. That was not helping. He looked away as she slipped back in through the open window, motioning for him to follow. “Come on in then. I figured you’d be asking for information sooner rather than later.” She paused and turned back around to face him. “Watch the cape.”

He somehow managed to squeeze his armored body through the window, barely keeping his heavy cape from knocking over a plant. Forget embarrassing, this was mortifying. He managed to find enough space for him to stand, and leveled a dark stare at her as she smothered a soft chuckle behind her hand. Raven shook her head, completely unfazed by his silent warning, and she went to her small kitchen table grabbing the file off it, handing it to him.

“You can’t take it out of my apartment, I need to review some things tomorrow, but you can read it here. Take all the time you need.” She went to the kitchen and pulled down another bourbon glass, filing it with a few fingers for him. “I made some additional notes if you need them.”

He was almost ashamed to admit that her notes had helped him with more than one case he was working. Raven was brilliant and astute when it came to little clues and nearly-invisible patterns, and sometimes her eyes caught things he missed occasionally. Having her as an ally could be a godsend sometimes. He sat down on her sofa and flicked through the file, looking up when he heard her soft laughter.

Damian turned towards her, confused. “What?”

“You.” She crossed the room and stood next to him, her hips cocked to the side. “You look so out of place here. You’re in full armor, sitting on my sofa, reading and drinking bourbon.”

“I’m not drinking bourbon.”

“Not yet you’re not.”

Raven handed him a glass and she settled back into the arm chair across from him, tucking her slender legs under herself. She watched him for a long moment, as if expecting him to take a drink. He wasn’t entirely fond of American liquors, but he knew better than to scoff at an offering from Raven. Damian’s gloved hand fit awkwardly around the glass and he lifted it to his mouth nearly spilling it over his chin. That was it. He was definitely making more modifications to the suit when he got home. This thing was a damned dinosaur, impossible to move in, and it didn’t even fit right half the time.

Raven seemed to sense his discomfort and she tilted her head to the side, still watching him. “If you want, I can go in the other room and let you have time without the cowl on.” She brought her own glass of bourbon to her lips, never looking away from his face. “I can’t imagine that’s exactly comfortable and easy to move in.” She paused, thinking. “Or breathable, for that matter.”

“It’s not.” Damian frowned and tried to turn back to the notes, but his fine movement were completely shot while he had the gloves on, and he nearly scattered the file all over the floor.

She was right, of course. He’d hadn’t gotten around to completely updating the suit after he’d accepted the cowl from father, and while he’d made slight modifications, it wasn’t exactly as modern and movable as it could be. It was damned hot, and heavy, sometimes incredibly awkward, and now there was a strange smell coming from the kevlar. He should really just get out of it, and there was no point in keeping it on while he was just trying to do research. Raven’s apartment was safe, he’d checked it a hundred times over while he was out on patrol. Sighing, Damian stood up, reaching for his cowl and barely realizing what he was about to do.

“Woah!” Raven jumped up, her eyes wide as her hand shot out to rest against his forearm. She stood there for a moment, staring up into his masked face and shook her head. “Hold it there.”

Damian looked at her, blinking. What was she worried about? Her apartment was safe… oh. Oh, right. He was grateful for the darkness in her apartment and the mask to hide his own frustration. He had gotten so comfortable around Raven that he barely realized she didn’t know who he was. Once again, Damian wondered if this was more of what his father was talking about when he talked about keeping two separate lives.

“Plausible deniability, Batman. I can’t know who you are.” Her expression softened and her eyes tried to search his, as if looking for some kind of secret there. A breathy laugh escaped as her hand fell back to her side. “Although, I won’t say I’m not curious. But, I’d rather protect you and me as much as I can.”

He stared at her, searching her face for something even he couldn’t pin-point. It was like he was looking for evilness there, something darker roiling just under the surface of her skin, but all he found was the same upstanding, stalwart, brilliant person he had worked with for so long. Damian blinked, as if trying to clear his thoughts from his mind, and his response was so sudden, he wasn’t even sure it was him speaking.

“Blindfold.”

His stomach dropped out into the floor, and he prayed she didn’t feel the panic rolling off him. Oh, Gods. What in the world was he saying? He could not be suggesting that.

She blinked. “Excuse me?”

“Wear a blindfold, and I’ll… I’ll take it off.” What in the hell was he talking about? He needed the floor to swallow him whole so he could forget this conversation ever happened. They could both back to their professional relationship, and ignore this obvious faux pas. “We’ll both be comfortable, you can stay here to answer any questions I might have, and you can still have plausible deniability.” He cleared his throat, trying to seem like he had control of the situation. It was a lie, of course, he did not have any control. At least, not when it came to her. “And I can enjoy this bourbon without spilling it all over myself.”

She blinked, and the weight of her silence nearly sent Damian running to the open window. He needed to find a way out of this situation or he would never forgive himself. If any of his brothers were here now, they would be howling at him. Gathering as much courage as he could, Damian started to move away from her before-

“Okay.”

Wait, what? His ears rang with the weight of her agreement, She could not be serious. Damian lifted his head and stared at her, the shadows and mask hiding his surprise as he searched her face. She looked just as open as willing as she had with any other ridiculous suggestion he had mad. How in the world did she agree to this? How in the world had he suggested it?

“If that’s what you think is best, then I’m willing.” Raven stood up and started for her bedroom, flicking off a lamp as she moved. She was giving him complete darkness, and the only light that spilled in was from a few electronics and the ambient city light spilling in from the window. “I have a scarf you can use.” She returned a few minutes later with a black-pattenered scarf, holding it out towards him. “Tie it tight.”

His heart was slamming against his chest like he was a teenager all over again, and Damian fumbled for a moment, before finally he managed to tie it around her eyes. It was as tight as he could make it, but her eyes looked covered, and the fabric was folded over to keep her from seeing. Raven nodded and felt her way back to her chair, settling herself in it. She rested her hands in her lap and gave a small shrug, as if she could sense his unease.

“I trust you.” She shifted. “I want you to trust me too.”

Damian pulled off the cowl and set it next to him, glad his skin finally had a chance to breathe. His head tipped back and he rested his neck on the sofa, staring at her ceiling. There was a soft pause and he rolled her admission over in his head, picking it apart and putting it back together carefully. “You could have learned my identity and you didn’t. You put my safety before your own curiosity. I would consider that trust.”

Her head tilted to the side, listening. “Is that what you sound like without the voice modifier?” That soft, teasing smile returned to her lips. “You sound cute.”

Damian’s face fell, and he pulled off his gloves. “You’re not funny.”

She shrugged. “I wasn’t trying to be.”

She felt for her glass, nearly knocking it off the table next to her. Damian caught it and pushed it into her hand, steadying her fingers. He couldn’t remember ever touching her bare skin before, and there was something about the way she twitched beneath his hands that made fire start to spread through his veins. He stared at her for a long moment, drawn to the line of her mouth. “Be careful.”

She tilted her head up towards him, and Damian realized this was the first time they had ever really been this close. He made sure to keep the right amount of distance between them, more for her safety than for his, but he had never imagined he’d be so near her that he could smell the scent of her vanilla perfume. He took a deep breath, drawing her in, as if he wanted to taste her, and he felt every muscle in his body tighten, and his cock grow uncomfortable from the confines of the suit.

Flushing even darker with his embarrassment, he immediately stepped back, trying to calm himself. What in the world was he thinking coming here? He’d lost his damn mind, and having her this close, this open, and this vulnerable to him was not helping. He wanted to wrap his arms around her, and tell things that he barely admitted to himself. It was stupid to feel this way, Raven was a partner, an informant, someone he could count on. Even if he had feelings for her, their relationship was purely professional - nothing more.

At least, that was what he tried to keep reminding himself through the haze of her vanilla perfume and the blood rushing to gather between his legs.

He unfastened his cape and set it on the back of the sofa. Finally, he settled back against the sofa and flicked through the files. A few minutes passed in silence, and Damian watched her finish her bourbon from the corner of his eye, her tongue darting out to taste a few drops still clinging to her lips. His mind started to wander to all the ways her tongue could be used to-

He slammed the door on those thoughts. Not helping. He looked back down at the file, trying to occupy his thoughts with something other than her. “Do you want another drink?”

“No.” Her voice was soft, almost tight, as if she was lost in her own mind.

“Mm.” Damian stared down at the file, but suddenly the notes and pictures didn’t seem so interesting. His lips twitched and he shifted, the small apartment suddenly so quiet. Minutes passed in a deafening silence that seemed to stretch on forever, and it wasn’t until Damian realized that he reviewed the same page three times before he realized he needed to focus. He glanced up at her, eyeing the blindfold covering her face. “So… why didn’t you let me take my mask off? And don’t say plausible deniability, that’s a cheap excuse. You could have learned my secret and held it over me.”

“I wouldn’t do that. You know that.” She paused, and he watched as a blush crawled up her neck. Shrugging, Raven turned away, as though she couldn’t even face him with the blindfold on. “I want you to tell me when you’re ready. We’ve worked together for so long, as we have a… history between us. An odd kind of camaraderie, if you want to call it that. But I’m not going to take advantage of you like that. When you’re ready to tell me - if you’re ever ready to tell me - then I want it to be on your own terms.”

Damian sighed and closed the file, staring into her face. He could feel a hundred emotions storming inside him, begging him to tell her the truth, to at least say something that would let any of this make sense. He felt jumbled, like nothing was fitting right any more, and if he kept trying to contain his feelings, he was going to shatter. His heart pounded, and the blood rushing to his cock still hadn’t gone away, and he wasn’t even sure what parts of him were trying to control the situation anymore.

There was another long pause before the confession came tumbling out of his mouth without his permission. “I like you.”

“Oh.” Her voice was soft, like the stroke of a butterfly’s wing. “I like you too.”

“Raven… that’s not… I…” He stumbled over his own response, a rough noise coming out of his throat. Damian raked his fingers through his hair. This was stupid. He was stupid. He shouldn’t have said anything. Shouldn’t have tried to admit how he felt to her. But… he’d already stumbled through one confession, he might as well try to stumble through another. “I like you, but… I have feelings for you. Beyond friendship.”

“Oh.” She shifted again, her fingers fidgeting with the hem of her shorts. A slow breath escaped and she nodded as if agreeing with him. “I… do too. For you, I mean. I have feelings beyond friendship.”

Damian blinked, not entirely certain he heard her right. His head started to spin and he was pretty sure he’d forgotten to breathe at some point. “What?”

“I mean… maybe it’s because I’m in a blindfold and I can’t see your face that makes saying this easier, but… I have feelings for you. I’ve had feelings for you… for a stupid long time.” She flushed and turned her head towards her lap, trying to hide her face from him. “You’re kind, even if you don’t always show it. And smart, and you’re patient with me while I do my work, and you are respectful of our boundaries when it comes to work and personal lives, even though sometimes I know I get on your nerves.” She paused, that half-cocked smile returning. “Although, to be fair, you get on mine too.”

Damian stared at her, shaking his head.

“Are you still there? I can’t see you.”

“I’m still here.” Damian couldn’t imagine leaving her after that confession.

He stood up and walked towards her, steps silent on her wood floor. He stood there in front of her, staring down at her for a long moment, trying to understand what he should do next. In an ideal world, this would be the end of their conversation. He would have turned around and left and they would have gone back to their normal, working relationship. But Raven’s confession had made him feel like his world had somehow turned on its axis. He watched a lock of hair curl over the swell of her cheek, falling over the cotton of the blindfold.

Licking his lips, he dropped his voice to a rumbling whisper. “Would it be alright if I kissed you?”

Raven tilted her face up to his. “So, was the blindfold just a kinky thing?”

Damian gave her a flat stare, even though she couldn’t see it. Cheeky. He took her hand in his, sliding his fingers over the smooth dips of her palm, and pulled Raven to her feet. She teetered for a moment before his arms wrapped around her waist, steadying her. Damian pulled her close, his bare hand sliding under the hem of her tank top to rest against the small of her back. It felt like his skin was on fire, and every part of his body seemed to react almost violently to their touch. How long had it been like this and he didn’t even realize? How long had he been pushing his own feelings and thoughts to the side, denying himself the one thing he needed? He wet his lips and looked down at her, as her hands rested on her shoulders.

She shivered and leaned closer to him, lifting herself on her tip-toes. “You’re so tall. I don’t think it ever occurred to me how tall you’d be up close. You’re like a tree.”

Damian’s face fell. “It’s not my fault you’re so tiny.” He teased her, feeling something odd turn over and twist around in his chest. As long as he could remember, he had never really teased or flirted with anyone before. Most of the women in his life were faceless, insipid, vapid things he dated to keep up the appearance of a socialite, bad-boy billionaire, but with Raven it felt different. She was smart, sharp-tongued, and he found himself eager to play with her - in more ways than one.

His body nearly roared to life at the thought of teasing her in a physical way, and Damian found himself swallowing the sudden onslaught of emotions. His hand tightened against her back and he pulled her closer, feeling her steady herself on his chest. He was a half-mast now, and there was no way she couldn’t feel his erection through her clothes. If it wasn’t for the privacy of the blindfold, he’d probably be more embarrassed than he already was. There was another long pause as he looked into her face, trying to gauge the gravity of what he was about to do. Was he really going to kiss her?

Raven’s heels eased back down to the floor, as if she was no longer expecting him to kiss her. Like she thought maybe it was just a joke. Her lips tugged down in a frown, and the question was whispered between them. “Are you going to kiss me?”

He was.

Most certainly.

Damian pushed his reservations to the back of his mind and bent down, pressing his lips against hers. It was an innocent kiss at first, the scent of vanilla filling his senses, and Raven’s hands tightened on his shoulders as she pushed herself up to meet him. A moment passed. And then two. And then Raven made a soft almost eager noise, and she tilted her head to the side, deepening the kiss as her tongue ran along his lower lip. Fuck. Damian struggled to keep his head on straight. It felt like the world had crumbled beneath his feet, leaving him free falling into oblivion, waiting for his body to hit the ground.

His breath caught in his chest, and he felt a wanton groan escape. Whatever control he had over himself before had disappeared in less than a second. His hand tightened against the curve of her waist, and he pulled her deeper into his arms and tight against his chest. He no longer cared if she could feel his erection pressing against her. Raven did this to him, and he should have done this ages ago. It would have made so much more sense. Raven’s mouth moved against his own, meeting him kiss-for-kiss, little noises and breaths escaping with each pass of their lips. Her arms slid around his neck and she lifted herself up to chase his lips when he pulled away, stumbling over a response to her. But, he didn’t really need to say anything at all.

Raven pulled closer, the heat and weight of her body pressing against his erection, and it made stars explode behind his eyes. Fuck. Damian’s breath escaped in a single, low groan and his hand slid higher under her tank top, tracing a scar near her shoulder blade. He knew what he wanted, he just wasn’t sure if she wanted it to. Raven stretched along the length of his chest like a cat, her smooth curves rubbing against his still growing cock. She shivered, a mewl escaping as his hand tightened against her shoulder, and she pulled back just a few inches to grab her breath.

Damian stared into her face, wanting desperately to take off the blindfold, but… not yet. Maybe Raven was right, maybe it was a kinky thing.

There was a heartbeat’s pause as she seemed to weigh choices in her head, and then Raven was taking her shirt off and throwing it on the floor. The ambient light from the city outside her window lit up the pale expanse of her body, and Damian stared at her. Images flashed through his head, thoughts of bending her into a hundred different shapes as he fucked her good and hard and listened to her scream. Her fingers would rake down his back and he… he needed this right now.

Damian heard himself growl, and he barely had time to register what he was doing before he started unfastening his suit, leaving parts of it all over the floor. He was backing her into her bedroom, and she followed him, as if they both couldn’t get there fast enough. His mind was a complete blue, and all he could think about was how good he wanted her to feel, and how many times he could get her to come before he had to leave.

They tumbled onto the bed together, Damian barely removing his boots before Raven was on top of him, her mouth pressed against his neck. She had hooked her leg over his hip, and she pressed against his erection, grinding against him through his underwear. It felt almost too good, and he pushed up against her, groaning as her fingers teased his chest. She was making the most desperate sounds, and he could feel something primal rise up inside him, begging to be released. His hands tightened on her hips, and he rolled her onto her back, her breath escaping as he pushed a knee tight between her thighs. Desperation was sinking into every part of him, and he knew he wanted to fuck her so hard she wouldn’t walk for days.

He cupped her breast and circled a nipple with his thumb, his tongue pressing against her pulse. She was writhing under him, and pushed up into his hand, letting go of a sound that threatened to break him in half. His mouth felt like it was everywhere now, leaving bites and welts wherever he wanted to mark her, wrapping around her nipple, and he thought about burying it between her thighs until morning. Gods, was he this far gone and he didn’t even realize it? He knew it was pathetic, but he’d worry about that later.

Her hands slid down his back, and his fingers slipped under the waistband of her shorts, catching on the thin elastic of her underwear. His whole body felt like it was burning up now, flames licking along his skin as they both drowned in each other, and all he wanted to do was hear the sound she made when he made her come. He wanted to feel her tense beneath him, mutter his name, urge him to finish her off, and then beg him to fuck her. His teeth scraped her shoulder, and her back arched off the bed as she spread her legs just a little wider in invitation for his touch.

Her phone went off.

An alarm went off on his suit in the other room.

Their hands stilled.

Fuck.

Damian dropped his head to her shoulder, and he cursed in every language he could think of. Behind the blindfold, Raven was wincing, and Damian slid his hand away from her. He couldn’t imagine a worse time for an alarm. He pulled away, his hands nearly shaking with need.

“I’m leaving the room to check the alert on my suit. If you need to, you can pull off the blindfold if you want to check your phone.” Damian walked (as well as he could with a raging erection) to his suit in the other room, reading the alert in the tech on his sleeve. He bit the inside of his cheek, hoping that he could contain his annoyance for at least a little bit. He couldn’t imagine a worse time for something to interrupt him. Damian ran his hand over his face and continued to stare at her.

“Break in at the docks.” Raven’s voice was muffled from the other room. “Same MO as before. Damnit.”

He turned around and looked through the door to see Raven splayed out on her stomach, her bare back turned to him to try and offer some kind of privacy. It wasn’t exactly helping, and he stared at the supple curve of her ass, biting bit back another curse. He would much rather forget everything he saw on the display screen of his tech, and go back to her arms. He’d much rather feel her tense and tremble beneath him, her fingers tight in his hair as he-

Not helping. Goddamnit. He walked to her doorway, leaning against the frame as he watched her flick through the messages on her phone. Her heart tightened, his chest heavy as he stared at her. He needed to tell her, needed to at least give her some kind of truth she could hold onto - something tangible.

“Raven.” He watched as her hands stilled on her phone. “Look at me.”

Raven’s back tensed, and it was almost as if he could see her thoughts warring inside her. “Are you sure?”

He appreciated the kindness, but it was unnecessary. He was already in this deep, he might as well let himself fall deeper. Damian wet his lips and made a soft noise of approval. “As sure as I’ll ever be.”

She shifted, and there was a moment’s pause before she slowly turned over. Propped up by the pillows on her bed, she stared at him, eyes raking down the length of him before glancing back into his face. Her expression was unreadable as her eyes met his, and if she was upset by what she saw, she didn’t say anything. Instead, Raven pressed her lips together and continued to stare at him for what seemed like an eternity, silence settling over them both.

Finally she spoke, her tone even. “Mr. Wayne.”

“Damian.” He corrected, his voice was raspy against his own ears, and he wondered if she could hear the same awkward embarrassment he felt. He took a deep breath to try and settle his nerves and crossed his arms over his chest, staring at her. “You can call me Damian.”

There was another stretch of silence before she swung her legs over the edge of her bed. She settled her feet onto the floor and stared out the window, taking a slow breath. It felt like the world stopped, and they were both waiting for something else to happen. “Why am I not surprised? All that money and power…”

There was an edge to her voice, but it didn’t quite hit him the way he expected. She had every right to be upset, honestly. “Are you mad?”

She shook her head, and she seemed oddly reserved. “You know, somehow I probably always suspected. I’d like to say I’m shocked, but… I’m not. And I’m not even upset about it.” She paused. “Although it certainly explains why you told me you’ve known me for so long today. I suppose you have known me for years.” Her stare flicked into his face and she sighed, giving him a thin smile. “So… are you going? To the docks, I mean.”

He glanced away, trying to weigh if her response would keep him here or not. “Are you?”

“I have an alert from Captain Grayson about a case we’ve been working on.” She stood up and dropped her shorts onto the carpet, leaving her clad in just her underwear. Every movement felt like it was just taunting him, and Damian was practically shaking as she fished out a bra from her drawer and tossed it onto the bed. “Of course I’ll be going out. I’m still a detective.”

“I…” Damian resigned himself to admit that whatever their moment had been in the darkness of her apartment, it was now over. There was nothing left to do but let things return to the way they had been before. As painful as it was. “I also have an alert from Captain Grayson.”

“Ah.” He could feel a tenseness in her, as though she were fighting something inside herself. A moment passed and she walked past him and to her closet. “So then I take it you are going?”

“Yes.” Damian stepped back into her living room and pulled on the pants of his suit, leaving his chest bare. This night wasn’t going even remotely the way he had expected it, but somehow it didn’t feel like it was completely ruined. It felt more like Raven was weighing the pros and cons in her head, trying to determine what their next steps should be. Damian could work with that, it at least gave him the chance to try and win her back into his good graces.

“Mm…” She pulled on a pair of trousers before reaching for her bra. “And does he know? About… you? And this?”

“Yes.” Damian reached for the rest of his suit, pulling it on. “For a while.” He didn’t feel comfortable telling her everything just yet - about his family. He imagined she could only take so many surprises all at once, and honestly, he was surprised that she wasn’t more upset. She was taking this all in stride.

“That explains the donuts.” Raven pulled on her button up shirt and looked over at him, her eyes dark.

He stared at her for a long moment before finally finishing dressing. Raven walked into the living room, pulling her hair into her ponytail. There was a heavy silence between them, and Damian wasn’t entirely sure what he should say to make this all okay. Or even if he could make it okay. He began to wonder if he would ever find a way to fix this, and his father’s warning about living two lives settled heavy in his chest again.

There was a pause, and Raven moved toward the door. “Crullers.”

He blinked. "What?”

"I like crullers." She strapped on her gun holster before picking up a blazer from the back of a chair. Her eyes flicked to his own. "And really good head."

Damian felt heat rush to his groin again, and he watched her smirk as if she’d won a battle he didn’t know they were fighting. The thought of spreading her out over her bed and devouring her made him feel like his head was going to explode. He shifted, but said nothing, knowing that he could easily damage this delicate balance if he said something wrong.

"Go ahead and leave the way you came in.” Raven motioned to the still-open window. “I'll give you a few minutes head start."

Damian paused, not quite moving just yet. It wasn’t a complete dismissal of him, and there was something in her tone that made him feel bold. She was probably still as desperate as he was - wanting something she wasn’t sure if she was allowed to have. He took a slow breath and licked his lips before speaking, meeting her eyes. “Can I… come see you again?” He shifted before motioning to his suit. “Not… in this.”

“See me as yourself? Don’t you think the world is going to be surprised by the idea that the richest, most eligible bachelor on the east coast is suddenly seeing a lowly police detective?” She crossed her arms over her chest and lifted an eyebrow. “I don’t see how either of us could keep up appearances if Damian Wayne started showing up at my door.”

He felt the words fall out of his mouth before he could stop himself. “I’ll bring crullers, and I’ll eat you out.”

“You know the way to my heart, obviously.” She stepped towards him. “I have tomorrow off. If you can find the time away from your very important board rooms, I’ll be here. All day. Alone.” She stood on tip-toe and brushed the lightest kiss along his jaw. It was a truce, and she was giving him an opportunity to make this right again. “Now, go.”

Damian pulled on his cowl, pausing at the window. “On one condition.”

Raven waited.

“Blindfold.”

The slight twitch to her lips told him all he needed to know, and his body roared to life again. He could wait until tomorrow to break her.

#damirae #demonbirds #xaph's birthday 2019 #I was going to queue this for tuesday night #but I figured I already accidentally posted something #here's some bad writing and dumb bats #adult nonsense ahead #also I'll post this on AO3 #for posterity or whatever

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avis-writeshq · 5 years

Text

Zach Mitchell x Reader

Hello everybody! So, I haven’t seen a lot of these on the internet lately, so I decided to write one! You know, just in case a fangirl (or boy. I don’t discriminate) like yourselves are in need of a good ol’ fan fiction to keep you sane.

Requested: No

Warnings: Mild swearing? Mentions of blood (Like, 2 sentences or something).

Word count: 2,334 (YAY! A LONG ONE!)

Things you probably wanna know, for all you ‘x reader’ illiterates:

(Y/N): Your Name

(H/C): Hair Colour / Color

(E/C): Eye Colour / Color

***

You hummed to yourself quietly as you wondered around Jurassic World, in the hope you can locate the nearest café when you felt a small tap on your arm. Swiftly turning around, you almost didn’t see the young boy who had tears in his eyes.

“You okay, bud?” You asked, a sympathetic look on your face. “Are you lost?”

“My brother and I were trying to find the triceratops enclosure, but we got separated. He- he said to meet at the gift shop, but he has the map and I can’t find it!” He wailed, a small pout on his face. His blue eyes look up at you pleadingly.

“Hey, I was just there!” You lied, hoping to raise the boy’s spirits. “Come on, I’ll take you!” Temporarily forgetting about your snack, you took the boy’s hand with a friendly smile. “I’m (Y/N), by the way. What’s your name?”

“I’m Gray! Do you like dinosaurs?”

“Sure do! I’d say I like diplodocus the best. It’s a herbivore, right?”

“Yeah, it is! I like all the dinosaurs! They’re so awesome! Have you seen the size of the Tyrannosaurus’s teeth? They could grow to the size of a big banana! Ooh, ooh! Have you ever wondered why a Spinosaurus has that plate on its back? You could never guess that it’s to keep it cool!” He bounced on his toes as he walked, wearing a grin so big that it can break his face in two.

“Dinosaur nerd, huh?” You smirked, dodging a lady who was looking at her photographs. She glared at you but didn’t say anything. “Ever thought of visiting the mosasaur feeding?”

“Yeah, we’ll go straight there after I take a few pictures of the triceratops!”

After a few minutes of aimless wandering, you finally spotted the gift shop. In front of the store, there was a tall boy with brown hair, holding a map and talking into his phone.

“Hey, that’s my big brother! Zach, Zach, over here!!!” Gray yelled at the top of his lungs, drawing a lot of unwanted attention.

You froze. ‘Zach’ was coming closer and you had to keep yourself from dying right there. Zach Mitchell, your chemistry partner, was at Jurassic World. That idiot who ‘accidentally’ blew up your oh so perfect formula with sodium. That idiot who blamed you for burning his notes with the Bunsen burner; it was really him who put them next to the matches. That idiot who tipped out your entire bag in search for his ‘lucky pencil’, claiming that you stole it. Zach Mitchell the bloody idiot.

“Zach, this is-“

“(Y/N). Yeah, I know.” He rolled his eyes, shoving his phone into his jeans pocket. “Don’t you want to go see the triceratops?”

“I wanna see the mosasaur feeding. Then we can go find the triceratops.”

“Fine, come on then.”

‘Gee, rude,’ you thought to yourself, subtly glaring at his direction.

“Can (Y/N) come too? S/he’s the one who helped me find you.” Gray gave his signature puppy eyes, but Zach didn’t fall for it.

“No.”

“You say that as if I want to go,” You grumbled in distaste, rolling your (E/C) eyes.

The younger boy frowned, his light brown hair moving as he turned to you and his brother. “You guys… know each other?”

“Unfortunately,” you mutter, scowling. “Look, I’m just gonna go find some food.”

“You and your food. No wonder you’re so fat,” Zach quipped.

“You and your phone. No wonder your brain lost all its brain cells,” you retorted. “Good day.”

“It was before you came around.”

You huffed, turning tail when you felt your shirt being tugged on. “Gray…”

“I know my brother’s an idiot, but can you please come with us to see the mosasaur?”

“… Fine.”

***

You sat rigid in your chair, Zach sitting to your left and Gray to your right. You really wanted to get out of there. Honestly, you just wanted to get some food, for goodness sakes! Inwardly groaning, you leaned against the chair with a heavy sigh. You really needed to learn how to be more assertive.

At that moment, the feeding began. The elevated seats rose slightly higher, and you go to see the sight of a very large pristine pool. And when it’s large, I mean large. Ripples emerged at the surface while bubbles came from below. A huge white shark was hanging over the pool and there was a lady holding a microphone while explaining some random things. Before long, a huge sea animal jumped out of the water, its killer jaws closing on the dead shark. A giant splash was made, soaking the entire auditorium with water.

A laugh bubbled out of your throat as the cold water hit your face, temporarily forgetting your hatred to Zach. With a teasing smirk, he shook the water out of his hair, splashing your face some more. Flicking some water with your hands, you almost yelped as the seats slowly began to go down, letting the people watch the mosasaur swim round and round.

A warm feeling twisted up your right arm and you looked down to see your and Zach’s fingers intertwined. ‘How long have we been like that?’ You asked yourself, a blush creeping up your neck. ‘Since the presentation started?’ But still, no matter how hard you tried, you couldn’t hate the feeling.

Hands still intertwined, you, Zach and Gray walked back into the central area of the park.

“According to this, the triceratopses are… this… way…? Why are you guys holding hands?”

‘CrAp.’ You quickly brought your hand back, wiping it on your pants, a blush rising up to your cheeks.

“We were almost separated in the crowd,” Zach said with a shrug. “We didn’t want to get separated.”

“Right… well, the triceratops enclosure is that way, so…”

The three of you began to walk and you quickly pulled Zach to the side. “What the hell are you playing at?”

“What are you talking about?” the boy raised an eyebrow, a small smirk playing at his lips.

“You hate me one second and then you’re holding my hand the next! I’m not a toy, okay? You can’t just play with my feeling and think that it’s fine to do that!”

“I…”

“Look. I’m hungry. I want food and I never said that I would tag along to see the triceratops. So, I’m just going to go. Besides… I want to check out the gift store afterwards.” You offered a small smile. “Tell Gray, I said bye, okay?”

“(Y/N)-”

“I have to go. I’ll see you later… at school, or something.”

***

“Attention all park visitors. Please make your way to the central area of the park. For your safety, please act calm.”

That was the first warning that something went wrong at the park. The second thing was the fact that the gyrospheres closed more than 2 hours early. The third warning was that Zach and Gray were nowhere to be found and Zach wasn’t picking up his phone. Not that you expected him too after you spoke to him like that. But, ooh no, that’s not the last thing. Pterosaurs were swooping down from the sky and taking grown men into the sky. But that was the least of your problems. Right now, you had just narrowly escaped an incoming pterosaur and you were taking shelter in the gift shop. Talk about some relaxing holiday, am I right?

At that moment, you heard three very loud gunshots. Turning your head to the direction of the shelves, you could’ve sworn that one of the managers and one of the dinosaur trainers were kissing. You were just about to walk up to them when you saw him. Zach Mitchell.

Before you could walk out of the gift shop, a pterosaur dive-bombed you, knocking you into a shelf stacked with stuffed toys. A deafening screech filled your ears and you grabbed the nearest thing next to you, (a broken piece of a shelf), and stabbed the pterosaurs delicate wings. If there was one thing that ‘How to Train Your Dragon’ taught you, it was to destroy the flying animal’s wings. No wings, no escape.

The pterosaur screamed in pain, but that was all you heard before it was thrown off you by a very tall man and being shot by a woman. No freaking way.

“You good?” the man asked, lifting you up by a hand.

“I just got attacked by a fricken’ dinosaur. OF COURSE I’M NOT GOOD.”

“Woah, what’s going- (Y/N)?!” Oh. Oh, dear.

“Hi, Zach,” you managed meekly, giving a small weak chuckle. “How’s life?”

“You know each other?” The woman asked, flicking some of her straight red hair off her shoulder.

“Oh, yeah. And I have a lot of explaining to do.”

“Damn right, you do,” You snapped, pushing yourself up from the floor, holding onto your bloodied arm. “You go through more mood swings than me!”

***

Claire, Zach’s aunt, took the three of you into a… safer place to rest and calm down. Well, technically, a room with four velociraptors wasn’t exactly safe, especially everything that has happened the past 24 hours. You and Zach took a seat on one of the metal benches, you cradling your bandaged arm and him about to explain.

“I just wanted to say that the explanation is going to be really cheesy,” he said, scratching the back of his neck.

“Trust me; I’ve been through a lot worse. So please,” you rolled your eyes, cradling your injured arm, “do tell.”

“Blah, blah, blah,” Gray interrupted them both before they started to argue again, “just kiss already,” he said as he turned his face away so they couldn’t see him, in the state he was in. He couldn’t handle anymore fighting, any more deaths or any more dinosaurs. He just wanted his parents, he wanted his home, and he wanted to feel safe in somebody’s arms. Sure, he had his brother, but Gray didn’t want to bother him. After all, Zach was dealing with some pretty intense expectations from his not-so-nice ex, Gray felt like nothing more than a burden.

Your head snapped towards the younger boy, who looked so helpless as he sat on the bench, arms wrapped around him. He was shivering- from the cold or from the fear, even he didn’t know. Taking a few careful steps, you sat next to him, wrapping a reassuring arm over his shoulder.

“We’ll be okay. You’ll see. Owen and Aunt Claire will figure things out and you can go back to your parents when this is all over.” You said softly.

“But I want my parents now!” Gray huffed, not caring that he was acting like a five-year-old brat.

“I know. I want to see my parents too, but right now, we need to have faith in the raptors.”

“(Y/N)’s right,” Zach said softly. We’ll get through this. I swear.”

Gray sniffed but nodded, wiping his tears away with the cuff of his sleeve. “Okay…”

“Everything is going to turn out great,” you said, offering him a tissue. “You’ll see.”

Claire and Owen escorted the three of you into a truck as the Raptors were released. “You’ll be safer here,” Owen said. “Claire is at the front if you need anything. Water is under the bench seats, here are some blankets, now I have to go save the world.”

“Gee,” you rolled your eyes. “thanks.”

***

“WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?!” You demanded from the back of the truck as Claire made a sharp turn to the right. The back doors of the truck swung open, revealing two raptors.

“CLOSE THE FREAKING DOORS!”

“I CAN’T!”

“THEN DO SOMETHING!”

Thinking fast, Zach grabbed a hydrogen tank off the wall and pushing it off the edge of the truck. Charlie and Echo swiftly dodge to the sides, hissing and growling menacingly. Charlie ran ahead, only to be pushed to the side by Claire. Echo screeched, running to claim more victims.

Gray eyed the shockers on the side of the truck’s wall, prying it off its holder. Meanwhile, Echo came closer and closer to the truck.

“Turn it on!” You yelled, fiddling with the handle.

“I don’t know how!” Zach yelled back.

While they tried to get the shocker to work, Echo leapt onto the truck, clawing at the metal floor. You let out an ear piercing scream, just as Gray pushed a random button, a blue ball of electricity glowing at its end. Letting out a cry, the boy poked Echo with the electricity, the dinosaur flying off the truck. You lunged forward, grabbing hold of the back doors of the truck and forcing them closed.

“Are you guys okay?!” Claire asked from the driver’s seat.

“Hey, did you see that?” Zach grinned, leaning on the metal wall. A small smile graced your features as you felt his hand tighten around your waist.

“I can’t wait to tell mom!” Gray exclaimed, looking into the window.

“Oh, please, no, do not tell your mother about that, ever,” Claire managed breathlessly.

Gray smirked at you, ‘I am so telling her,’ he mouthed.

You laughed, “You do that.”

***

You waited impatiently on a bench, tapping your leg. It would be a while until your parents make it to Isla Nebular, and you really wanted them to hurry up.

“You okay?” Zach asked softly, stroking your arm softly.

“I… guess. I’m still a little freaked out.” You let out a humourless laugh. “I’ll be fine.”

“I’m really sorry, (Y/N),” he murmured, looking anywhere but you. “Everything I said, everything I did. I just…” he trailed off, shaking his head. “Never mind.”

“No, tell me,” you liked where this was going. “What’s on your mind?”

“There’s a reason why I was so mean to you.”

“And that is…?”

“I like you okay!” He threw his arms in the air letting out a sigh. “I thought that maybe I could get your attention. Look, I don’t know, I wasn’t thinking straight. I just really like you and I thought that maybe-”

You swiftly cut him off, by pressing your lips against his. “Wanna get ice-cream after school?”

“Definitely.”

#zach mitchell #zach mitchell x reader #gray mitchell #owen grady #claire #raptors #jurassic world #jurassic park #zack mitchell #zack mitchell x reader #dinosaurs #cute #fluff #reader insert #x reader

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a-dinosaur-a-day · 5 years

Text

Opisthocomus hoazin

By Kate, CC BY-SA 2.0

Etymology: Wearing the Hair Long Behind

First Described By: Illiger, 1811

Classification: Dinosauromorpha, Dinosauriformes, Dracohors, Dinosauria, Saurischia, Eusaurischia, Theropoda, Neotheropoda, Averostra, Tetanurae, Orionides, Avetheropoda, Coelurosauria, Tyrannoraptora, Maniraptoromorpha, Maniraptoriformes, Maniraptora, Pennaraptora, Paraves, Eumaniraptora, Averaptora, Avialae, Euavialae, Avebrevicauda, Pygostaylia, Ornithothoraces, Euornithes, Ornithuromorpha, Ornithurae, Neornithes, Neognathae, Neoaves, Inopinaves, Opisthocomiformes, Opisthocomidae

Status: Extant, Least Concern

Time and Place: Within the last 10,000 years, in the Holocene of the Quaternary

Hoatzin are known from the Amazon Basin

Physical Description: Hoatzin are weird birds, in terms of literally everything - proportion, physical traits, everything. They are the size of your typical pheasant, about 62 to 70 centimeters long, and are literally unmistakeable to spot. With small heads, long necks, and huge round bodies, they look almost like nonavian dinosaurs in terms of overall body shape. The small head features a tiny pointed beak, blue patches around a red eye, and a noticeable crest of orange to brown feathers all around the back of the head like a crown. The back of its neck is black and white spotted, with the throat a more beige-yellow color. This transitions to red feathers along the belly and rump. The back of the hoatzin is brown, while the wings are brown, red, and black and white striped like the back of the neck. The legs are stout and grey. The tail feathers are black with white tips. The females have shorter crests than males, but otherwise look the same - and the juveniles look similar to the adults. The babies are brown and fluffy, with very reduced wings and - often noticed - external wing claws, though these aren’t unique to the Hoatzin and are found on other living dinosaurs (birds).

By Adlaya

The internal anatomy of the Hoatzin is notable, too - it has a very large crop that fermates vegetable matter like mammalian ruminants, a structure that isn’t found in any other known dinosaur (not to say this might not have evolved in extinct forms; we just don’t have fossil evidence for it). This fermentation gives the Hoatzin a very smelly odor as it digests its food!

By Francesco Veronesi, CC BY-SA 2.0

Diet: The Hoatzin feeds primarily on leaves and fruit, including green leaves and buds. Fruit are the primary food for the Hoatzin during the dry season. It is an obligate herbivore.

Behavior: The Hoatzin feeds mainly in large social groups in the early morning and near dusk, and also during moonlit nights. It will balance itself on branches using the bump of its crop, and it climbs clumsily amongst the branches - they are even fairly tame, though they get stressed out by frequent human visits, but it’s easy to approach in the wild. It makes a variety of calls, including hisses, grunting, squawking, and croaking, usually made in conjunction with raising and lowering their wings. While mostly tame, they can get very defensive of their nests. They are very bad fliers, cannot swim, walk, or even hop - they move from branch to branch clumsily and never go back down to the ground. They make short migrations of up to 2 kilometers to find fresh food, but nothing more.

By Warren H., CC BY 2.0

The Hoatzin makes its nests in the rainy season, depending on where it lives - so any time of the year, really, since the rainy season varies from place to place in its range. They form monogamous mated pairs, and enlist the help of up to six helpers - usually their former children - in preparing their nests and caring for the new young. These nests are placed in dense trees, usually over water surfaces, and are made out of unlined platforms of dry sticks. Usually the nests are placed all close together, with up to 250 nests placed along stretches of trees for up to 7 kilometers. Usually two eggs are laid which are incubated by the whole family. The chicks have dark brown, fluffy coats, and can escape predators by diving into the water and swimming away before climbing back into the trees. They leave the nest at two to three weeks old, and can’t fly for a little while longer - instead, they depend on the adults of their families for food for another three months. The more children there are from past breeding seasons, the less the mother works; the father works the same amount no matter what. They finally leave the family to breed on their own at two to three years of age.

By Brian Ralphs, CC BY 2.0

Ecosystem: Hoatzin live in tropical wet forests, usually alongside rivers and lakes - where the wettest vegetation can be found, as they rarely drink, and instead get most of their water from their leaves and fruit. They are often found in mangrove habitats as well for those populations near the coast. They are forced out of these habitats when their homes dry out, but they avoid moving if they can help it.

By Cláudio Dias Timm, CC BY-SA 2.0

Other: Despite being extremely noticeable birds, Hoatzin are not endangered - probably because no one wants to hunt them with all the stinkiness (and associated bad taste)! Still, ecotourism does stress out the birds and leads to lower survival rates of chicks, and they are heavily threatened by planned work in the Amazon basin - which is why we have to protect these habitats. Hoatzin are extremely unique birds - unlike any others, and in their own phylogenetic grouping. In fact, for the longest time we had no clue what they were closely related to. For now, it seems they’re just outside the group Telluraves - the group of most tree-dwelling birds such as birds of prey, trogons, kingfishers, woodpeckers, parrots, and passerines. But even that is up to debate, and more research is needed before we can be sure.

~ By Meig Dickson

Sources under the Cut

Jobling, J. A. 2010. The Helm Dictionary of Scientific Bird Names. Christopher Helm Publishing, A&C Black Publishers Ltd, London.

Prum, R.O. et al. (2015) A comprehensive phylogeny of birds (Aves) using targeted next-generation DNA sequencing. Nature 526, 569–573.

Thomas, B.T., Kirwan, G.M. & Sharpe, C.J. (2019). Hoatzin (Opisthocomus hoazin). In: del Hoyo, J., Elliott, A., Sargatal, J., Christie, D.A. & de Juana, E. (eds.). Handbook of the Birds of the World Alive. Lynx Edicions, Barcelona.

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lemonadeswift · 4 years

Text

Zoo Baby - Luca 23 Months

“You ready to go to the zoo?!” Sebastian asked excitedly,

“Yeah!” Luca shouted, throwing up his hands. Sebastian laughed happily at his antics. Chris walked ahead of them and loaded the stroller into the back of the car, Sebastian meanwhile fastened Luca into his car seat, since turning 23 months old, Luca had suddenly become more active than ever, the “terrible twos” kicking in before either of his dad’s were ready. But they took it in stride.

“Luca, you have to sit back,” Sebastian told him, Luca squirmed around, trying to see what his dad was doing in the trunk of the car,

“Papa!” He called,

“Yeah bean, I’ll be right there, listen to daddy,” After Luca had popped his head over the back seat and gotten a good smile back from his papa he finally settled down and let Sebastian buckle him in. Once Sebastian was sure Luca was set he closed the door and went to get into the passenger seat,

“Zoo!” Luca shouted,

“Yup! Off to the zoo to see all the animals!”

Sebastian had his sunglasses on, baseball cap shielding his eyes from the sun, Chris had his own pair of sunglasses on and he was wearing a sleeveless t-shirt with a large print of Winnie the Pooh on it. Sebastian made fun of him endlessly for it but Chris wore it with pride.

“Pooh!” Luca had exclaimed when he saw it, pointing to the shirt and then holding up his Eyore stuffy. Chris had happily exclaimed back, “And Eyore!” Pointing at Luca’s stuffy,

Luca was currently in his stroller, leaning half way out of it. as he tried to look around at everyone. Luca wasn’t used to being around so many people at once. It was a nice spring day and the Zoo was busy. The gates alone were packed. Chris had a backpack slung over his shoulder filled with all the essentials for a day of fun at the Zoo. His arm stayed at the small of Sebastian’s back the entire time as they slowly moved towards the front of the line.

“Daddy!” Luca said,

“Yeah bean?” Sebastian answered.

“Bird!” He pointed up at the top of the gate way that had ornately carved animals in it, the section they were waiting under had a large parrot carved in it.

“Yeah! It is a bird, that’s a parrot, we’re going to get to see one, a real live one soon!” Sebastian told him enthusiastically,

“Papa!” Luca said, pointing, “I see,” Chris said happily, “What do birds say?” He asked Luca,

“Tweet tweet!” Luca said back,

“That’s right!” Chris reached forward to ruffle the tufts of hair on Luca’s head. Luca finally sat back and played with the toys Sebastian had attached to the stroller. After buying tickets and grabbing a map they went without incident into the Zoo. They stopped just inside the gate as Chris opened up the map.

“Where to first?”

“I don’t know, let’s ask Luc,” Luca looked up at the sound of his name and Sebastian smiled down at him,

“What animal do you want to see first?”

“Lion!” Luca shouted, throwing his little hands up, “Roar!!!” He let out the most adorable little roar, Sebastian grinned and roared back at him, Luca happily clapped and laughed at his dad’s antics.

“Alright, well that’s in the Africa zone, this way,” Chris pointed down a brownish orange path, and Sebastian followed.

They saw Lions, meerkats, a warthog, gazelles, and elephants, two of the elephants came right up to where Sebastian and Luca were standing, a keeper of there’s was nearby and gave the okay for Luca to reach out and touch. It was a really special and unique experience and Luca was fascinated as he touched their long trunks. Sebastian and Chris were quite impressed with the whole ordeal, never having seen an elephant this close before. The elephant’s name was Sasha according to the information plaque and photo matching the elephant with a chunk missing from it’s ear due to an accident in the wild. She was very friendly, her trunk came up to explore the top of Chris’s head and side of his face, Chris laughed happily but held still and let her explore. Luca giggled at how silly it was,

“Daddy she’s gonna eat you!” He said,

“Nah, Elephants don’t eat people,” Sebastian said, “Remember, they eat plants, like your book said!”

“Oh yeah!” One of the other elephants trumpeted from farther away and got Sasha’s attention, she turned and slowly walked away, but not without looking back for a second and seeming to wave with an ear and trunk to them and the other onlookers who had gathered around.

“Bye bye bye!” Luca said, waving as she left them.

“What do you want to see next?” Chris asked Luca, putting him back into his stroller.

“Bird!” Luca said, Sebastian nodded, and Chris pulled out the map to see where they needed to go,

“Oh look, they have a demonstration with Macaw’s in fifteen minutes, I bet we can make it if we hurry!” And so they were off, the bird sanctuary was filled with all kinds of colorful species, both big and small, outside of the indoor dome there were a few large cages surrounding it holding a few rare species of vultures and outdoor birds that needed a bit more room, including a bald eagle and her babies.

“God bless America.” Sebastian muttered into Chris’s ear as they stood in front of the bald eagle enclosure. Chris snorted.

“Surprised they never brought one of these into the Cap movies to be honest,” Sebastian said, Chris snorted,

“And where exactly would they have put one?”

“I don’t know, flying majestically behind you or something while you were kicking ass,”

“Ass!” Luca said, Sebastian’s eyes widened,

“No! Luca, don’t say that word,” Sebastian chastised.

“Ass!” Luca repeated, out of all the words in that sentence he chose to repeat that one.

“Ass, ass, ass, ass ass!” Luca said, shaking one of his dinosaur plushies around as he said it,

“Hey, no, Luca, we are going to go home if you don’t listen to daddy.” Chris said firmly, “That’s a bad word, daddy shouldn’t have said it, and he won’t anymore, you don’t say it either,” Luca seemed to understand, and he went quiet again. They began to move again when from quietly under the hood of the stroller they heard Luca whisper “ass” and giggle to himself. Sebastian turned to Chris biting his lip to hide his smile, Chris just rolled his eyes as they continued on.

The Macaw demonstration was interesting. The birds were bright and colorful and when the keeper was finished Luca loudly exclaimed to Sebastian,

“I want one!” Sebastian laughed and patted his head, “Sure, you can have whatever you want when you’re an adult and can pay and take care of it yourself,” Luca frowned as he narrowed his eyes at him before sitting back again in the stroller. They decided to get lunch next, they were near a rainforest themed restaurant and they stopped in. Chris was pleasantly surprised at all the options they had available,

“Luc, what do you want to eat? They have pizza, burgers, wraps, tacos, or spaghetti,”

“Getti!” Luca shouted happily, again throwing his arms up in the air, Chris sighed, the messiest option, thank goodness they brought extra clothes. Chris got in line at the Italian station and Sebastian went over to the wraps and taco station, getting his and Chris’s food while Chris waited to get Luca’s. They grabbed bottled sparkling water for Sebastian, a carton of milk for Luca and for Chris, since he wasn’t on a movie diet currently, grabbed a Coke.

“I hate you,” Sebastian said. Chris laughed. One thing people didn’t know about Sebastian is that he had a hankering for sodas, he loved fizzy drinks and since going onto his movie diets, sparkling water had done the trick, but every once in a while he’d really be craving the sugary goodness of a Sprite or a Coke, and currently, since he was filming another Marvel movie in two months, he wasn’t allowed to have anything but sparkling water, grilled chicken, boiled chicken, vegetables, and whole grain or whole wheat breads. It was a bland diet, but what had to be done had to be done. Sebastian sat down at a table with his sad meal and Chris and Luca sat down as well, they pulled Luca’s chair up to the end of the table and Chris pulled out an empty sippy cup from the baby bag. He poured some of the milk in and handed it over to Luca who began to drink it down fervently.

“Someone’s thirsty,” Chris commented.

“Me.” Sebastian said. “For Coke.” Chris rolled his eyes,

“Papa?”

“Yeah?” Luca pointed to the spaghetti “It’s coming, hold your horses.” Chris got some on a tiny fork that he also pulled out of the bag and twirled the pasta around it, bringing it up to Luca’s mouth,

“No Papa! I do it!” Luca said, Chris sighed, but he handed over the fork and Luca stuck it in his mouth, smearing marinara sauce all over his face in the process.

“Meatball, peas,” Luca asked politely holding out the fork, Chris cut one of the two large meatballs in half and speared it before handing it back to Luca, Luca was happily occupied with the meatball for a few minutes allowing Chris to shove a few bites of his steak wrap in his mouth.

“More?” Luca requested, and Chris gave in, just placing the plate of cut up spaghetti and meatballs in front of him, Luca happily grinned and began to feed himself messily, Sebastian couldn’t help but chuckle at the mess he was making,

“Don’t know what you’re laughing at, you’re the one that’s gonna change him, I’m the one that’s feeding him. Sebastian narrowed his eyes at Chris but nodded in fairness.

“So Luc, what animals were your favorite so far?”

“Lion!” Luca said, “Roar!” He roared loudly, holding his little hands up like claws, his fingers red and covered with sauce, Sebastian laughed and roared back at him, as he reached forward to clean off his hands a bit with a napkin,

“Those were cool, the big lion, he was just laying out there on his rock in the sun, he looked like he was having a great time. “And the baby lions were all playing together cool, they were pretty neat, what else did you like,”

“Penwin!” Luca said,

“The penguins! Those were awesome, they were sliding around on the ice, and one of them did a dive into the water, remember that one? The one with the silly hair?”

“Like Papa!” Luca giggled, Chris looked mock affronted,

“Like me? I have better hair than that penguin, take it back,” He reached over from where he sat to tickle Luca’s neck,

“Take it back,” he said again with a smile, Luca giggled even harder, “Swwry! Swwry! Swwry! You look pwetty papa!” He said, Chris grinned as he stopped tickling him, reaching to have another sip of coke.

“Thank you, you look all messy,” he said with a wink. Suddenly a hush went over the entire café and the squeak of a microphone was heard. They all looked over to see a man in a blue suit on the stage that was set up,

“Welcome to our sing along in the rainforest! Our afternoon show is recommended for people of all ages! Feel free to let your kids come up and dance and sing in front of the stage, we’re going to have a great time! Let me introduce to you our pals for the afternoon!” Music blared through the speakers and Luca wiggled around in his seat in excitement, well, Chris guessed they’d be staying for an unplanned show. A few moments later a group of people came out dressed as different animals, a jaguar, a toucan, a frog, a monkey, and a tapir. They proceeded to introduce themselves with songs based on their animals to to the tune of mary had a little lamb, ba ba black sheep, I’m a little tea pot, and the wheels on the bus. Luca was happily wiggling along in his seat,

“You want to go up there and dance buddy?” Sebastian asked, Luca nodded and Sebastian helped him out of his seat, he walked with him over to where other kids were dancing and jumping around in front of the stage, he took a seat to stay close by and and let go of Luca’s hand so he could join in. Luca quickly found another little girl and they twirled around and responded as best as they could to the call and response singing. Suddenly, a loud thunder clap sounded through the café, and all the animals went to hide behind various props or hide in on themselves, an evil laugh was heard before a regular looking man in a tacky rainforest explorer outfit appeared with binoculars, followed by a cardboard bulldozer and two men dressed as construction workers.

“Here, this is a wonderful spot to put up my state-of-the-art tree house and science lab, but first, we must cut down all these trees to make room for it!”

“Oh no! They’re going to try to cut down the tree that toucan is living in!” Said the tapir, The sound of the bulldozer was heard over the speakers, and the people with the cardboard bulldozer moved closer to the tree, Toucan was raised up on wires to look as if they were sitting in the tree. The tree began to wobble and shake, and toucan cried out, afraid.

“We’ve gotta help toucan before she gets her home cut down! Let’s all sing to tell the workers how important the rainforest is to us! Come on everyone!” The music started up again and the Jaguar took center stage, beginning to sing about how the trees were her home and how she relied on them to lounge in and climb for exercise and sleep. The frog explained that he needed the cover of the canopy and leaves so that his environment would stay dark and damp, the monkey sang about how he loved swinging from branch to branch and how he got his food from the trees and the forest around him, eventually, the toucan went last, singing about how this tree in particular was her home, together they all finished off with a few lines about how the rainforest was an ecosystem that was hurt when it was disturbed, and how there wouldn’t be anything for the man to study in his lab if he cut down the rainforest around him. The show ended with the animals convincing the workers and the explorer to build their treehouse and lab elsewhere.

All the children cheered as the animals continued to dance around and celebrate as confetti fell from the ceiling onto the stage, the animals all came down and danced among the children for a few minutes as the music faded out, Luca got to dance with the tapir in particular, and he had the biggest grin on his face as he did. Sebastian took his phone out to capture the moment in pictures, it was too cute. After they finished and the animals left the stage and the lights came up Luca came stumbling back over to Sebastian, excitedly falling in to his lap and grinning,

“Did you see! Did you see me! Did you see me daddy!?”

“I did! You got to dance with the Tapir, did you have fun?”

“Yes!” Luca said, jumping up and down, Sebastian grinned, lifting Luca up into his arms to bring him back to the table, Chris was sitting there with a lazy smile and love in his eyes as he watched them come back to him.

“Alright buddy, let’s go get you cleaned up and changed and then we can see the North American part of the Zoo, what do you think?” Chris asked him.

“Okay papa,” Luca said, and he accepted Chris’s hold on him easily, Sebastian began to clean up their trash while Chris walked off with Luca’s backpack to the bathroom.

“Alright bud, I want you to go try to use the potty now, okay? Because we’re gonna be out for at least another hour and a half and you drank a lot of juice and water so far, okay?”

“Ok,” Luca said, and they both entered the handicapped stall together. Chris helped Luca onto the toilet and praised him with a smile when he used it correctly,

“Great job buddy! I’m so proud of you, that’s twelve times you’ve been to the potty this week! Only three more and we can go get a prize!”

“Yay!” Luca said, throwing his arms up. “Papa,”

“Yeah buddy,”

“Are we gonna see bears?”

“I don’t know, I know they said they had some here, we’ll see if they’re out in their encousure when we get there, hopefully we will,” Chris helped Luca button his pants and then the two of them left the stall, he lifted Luca up so he could reach the sink to wash his hands and then told him to stand behind him while he used the urinal.

“Papa when can I use that?” He asked on the way out, pointing to the urinal,

“When your aim gets better,” He told him, Luca scrunched up his face, not understanding the response, and Chris just laughed, “When you’re bigger,” He replied instead. Surprisingly, Luca took that answer,

“Daddy!” Luca threw his hands out as if he hadn’t seen Sebastian in weeks Sebastian turned from where he was situating the stroller with a smile.

“Hey bean, you ready to go?”

“Bears!” Luca shouted in glee,

“Oh yeah, the bears, let’s go see them!” Sebastian said.

Along the way to the bears they saw a number of other animals, first were the Otters, they were happily swimming around in a giant river, a few of them would dive up out of the water and some of them would swim up to the glass of the underground viewing enclosure to see the people.

Luca waved to one with a smile and in return the otter did a flip under the water before swimming away. Luca peered around the stroller to smile at Chris and Chris grinned back, it was turning out to be a very eventful trip for Luca and he was happy the animals were out and interacting with people as much as they did.

The next animal they saw was the American Badger, the badger was farther away in it’s large enclosure but Luca was eventually able to spot it with help from Sebastian who lifted him out of his stroller and pointed to it. Luca waved frantically when he caught sight of it, fortunately not too upset when the Badger didn’t react.

They next entered the North American Reptile and Insect dome, inside were a variety of giant bugs, a turtle and a tortoise who was 89 years old, a Gila Monster, two species of rattle snakes, the corn snake, the Arizona Mountain King Snake. Three species of lizards, three giant toads, and two frog species were also housed inside the dome. Outside the dome were a few other interesting animals, such as hedgehogs, who were on display with a keeper to pet if one wanted to, and two three banded armadillos. Luca especially liked the King Snake, the hedgehog, and the giant toads. To every animal he said hello and goodbye, waving animatedly and even getting a picture with the hedgehog who snuffled at him adorably.

“He’s cute isn’t he?” Sebastian said, as he pet the hedgehog too, it was a pretty neat experience. Finally, they came to the third to last animal before the Bears, this one was the American Red Fox, immediately Luca strained from his stroller at the sight of one who was close to the front of the enclosure.

“Fox!” He shouted and pointed excitedly, but to both of his parents surprise, the word didn’t come out as “fox” more like “fucks” Instead.

“Daddy look! Fox!” He pointed again, Sebastian nodded, trying not to laugh,

“Yes buddy, that is a red fox he pronounced the word carefully. Surprisingly the fox wasn’t scared away by the loud shout Luca had let out and continued to sniff around at whatever it was interested in curiously.

“Daddy! Look! Baby fox!” Luca pointed again, still pronouncing the word wrong, Sebastian felt his face heating up as the family next to them had looked over at hearing the mispronunciation, sure enough though there were four little baby kits approaching who must be their mother,

“Yes, baby kits, you’re right, they’re cute aren’t they,”

“Fox! Fox! Fox! Fox!” Luca shouted, Chris couldn’t hold back anymore, and he started cackling. Sebastian swatted at him in aggravation, “It’s not funny,” He hissed,

“Yes, it is!” Chris said, having to bend over at the waist to catch his breath.

“Fuck you,” Sebastian hissed under his breath at him, this only made Chris laugh harder, Luca peered around his stroller again to look at his papa,

“It’s okay honey, papa just thought of something funny, let’s go see the wolves and then the bears, what do you say?”

“Bye Mr. Fox!” Luca called out as they left, Chris choked out a last snort as they walked away, much to Sebastian’s annoyance.

The wolves were amazing and majestic looking, there were pups in the enclosure there as well, they wrestled, and play fought in plain sight while the mother lounged near by and the others could be seen through the trees. Two of the pups got curious and came closer to the front of the enclosure, one let out an adorable little attempt at a howl in response to the people around, the mother didn’t let them linger for long though, coming up and herding them back to where the other pups were at.

“They’re so cute aren’t they?” Sebastian said, as he knelt down by Luca’s stroller,

“Can you howl like a wolf?” He asked Luca, and Luca let out a high pitched attempt at a howl, much like the pup had earlier, Sebastian just laughed and praised him, patting him on the head and asking him if he was ready to go yet. This time Luca wasn’t, in fact, he wanted to get out and get closer, so they let him, after a few more minutes where Sebastian watched Luca stare at the wolves from right up next to the glass and while Chris walked around reading about the wolves, they finally decided it was time to go,

“Come on Luc, time to go see the bears!”

Luca’s eyes lit up at this, and he quickly toddled back over to Sebastian who lifted him and put him in the stroller, Sebastian pressed a kiss to his cheek as he set him back in, not bothering to buckle him since Luca knew how to unbuckle himself and since the seat itself kept him from sliding out.

They walked down the path following other families and couples for a few minutes. Sebastian was guiding the stroller with one hand while his other was firmly grasped by Chris. Finally they turned down the path that boasted the bears ahead, Luca got excited when he saw the carving, pointing and leaning out of his stroller.

“Papa! Daddy! Look!”

“I know, we’re almost there!” Sebastian said back enthusiastically, they finally arrived and Luca was practically climbing out of his seat.

“Hold on, hold on,” They were surprised to see that they were one of the only ones around currently. It was still around lunchtime and this was the end of the park. They’d made it through in under three and a half hours arriving at 9AM. Inside the enclosure though were three keepers, and to Luca’s absolute joy, they were luring the bears out for mealtime.

“Daddy look!” Luca practically squeaked as he pranced in place in absolute joy.

“I see, look at them! They’re grizzly bears!” There were five of them, a giant male, two females, and two cubs. Another could be seen far off in the back, but it looked like it was sleeping. Two more keepers came in from the side. One waved to them and began walking over, the enclosure itself was massive and was gated off by rock orifices with barbed wire and glass.

“Hi, I’m Mark, you guys came at a great time! We usually wait to feed the bears around this time because not many people come through,” He waved as another family came up as well, welcoming them,

“What are your names?” He asked the children who were part of both families, the second family’s kids answered first, Leslie and Adam, and then Luca,

“Are you guys excited to see the bears?” The keeper asked,

Luca nodded, jumping up and down, “Yes! Yes! Yes!”

“Well, since there’s only a few of you right now, would you like to come around to the side, I think you’ll be able to see them better while we feed them,” Luca continued to jump up and down as he turned to Chris and Sebastian,

“Can we? Pwease! Daddy, papa!”

“Sounds great,” both families followed the zookeeper’s directions to the side viewing alcove, when they arrived, there was a green door that needed to be opened, it soon was by Mark and the families went in.

“Alright, you guys watch here, I’m gonna see if I can get one or two of them to come over,” He told them as he left through a second door that went into the enclosure.

“Alright, so we have seven bears here right now, three females, two males, and two cubs who were just born last month, I think we’re gonna let the mama and baby bears eat over there, she doesn’t like her babies to be bothered, she’s very protective, but I think I can get Lucy, our youngest bear to come over, now Lucy is an American Grizzly bear, she’s three years old and she came to us because there were people who were bringing her around to show off, kind of like we do here, except for they kept her in this tiny enclosure that was about as big as a shed and she couldn’t move and was kept on a chain, They were showing her off as a baby because she was little and cute, but once she got too big, they didn’t want her anymore.”

“That’s sad,” the little girl, Leslie, said.

“I know, and dangerous, she came to us here because she had an eye infection and her growth was stunted. Females, or girls, can get up to 450 pounds, but she’s only 230 and she’s probably not going to grow anymore, she’s also blind in her left eye, but she’s very sweet and fun, and a very good eater. She likes to show off for people too, so let’s see what happens,” Mark called out to another keeper and with a pat on the head, Lucy was sent over to them with the other keeper following close behind.

“Grizzly bears are omnivores, meaning they eat meat and plants, today we’ve got melon and some fish for her, we’ll see which one she goes for, I’m gonna leave the melon there and I’ll hold the fish,” The large bear came lumbering over to them, her ears twitched and her snout snuffled as she scented the food. Her left eye was indeed cloudy from what Sebastian could see. Luca and Adam were almost right up against the wire fence of the enclosure but they weren’t touching it, they both watched on fascinated as Lucy sniffed at the melon and batted at it with one of her paws, her claw piercing it before she decided to leave it alone and instead go for the giant fish Mark was holding, she took it right from his hands with her teeth and Mark let go of it before standing up, he then dumped out the remainder of the fish from the bucket onto the ground for her to eat before turning back to them,

“Fish it is, she’ll probably take the melon back to her sleeping spot and eat some of it later,” Lucy then butted into Mark from behind with her snout and he laughed,

“Good girl Lucy, sorry girl, but that’s all you get for now, you can have some more for dinner,” he gave her a scratch behind the ear and she snuffled and snorted, only seeming slightly upset that she wouldn’t get more.

“She’s a good bear, but remember don’t ever approach a bear if you see one in the wild, they are very dangerous, in fact, the best thing to do if you see one in the wild is to quietly and slowly walk away while avoiding eye contact. We don’t see many around here, but if you’re ever in bear country!” Mark said,

“Alright, well, I’m gonna finish feeding the others but you guys are welcome to stay and watch, say bye Lucy,” Lucy just snuffled at his feet again in reply. Luca giggled as he whispered and waved,

“Bye Lucy,” Mark smiled up at him and waved himself, before turning to go, Lucy following him while the other keeper watched Lucy’s movements from behind.

“Daddy that was so cool!” Luca said, vibrating out of his skin and jumping up and down, Sebastian chuckled, picking him up and setting him on his hip,

“It was, very cool.

“She’s so big!” Luca said, stretching his arms out to convey how large she was,

“And they get even bigger can you believe it?!” Chris said,

“You ready to go bud, or do you want to watch more?” Luca looked over to see that the bears were mostly at the other end of the enclosure now and not within view,

“Go home,” He said,

“Alright, sounds good, it’s almost your nap time anyway,”

Chris went to put Luca back in his stroller but he whined in protest.

“Oh alright I’ll carry you for a little bit, but then it’s back in the stroller you go,” He told Luca, Luca just snuggled into his neck. Wrapping his arms around Chris as he did so.

“Love you bubba,” Chris told him softly as he turned to follow Sebastian out, dropping a kiss into Luca’s hair as he walked. They ended up getting all the way back around to the entrance of the zoo, which was a good half mile or so, with Luca still in Chris’s arms.

“You wanna visit the gift shop?” Sebastian asked, Luca was already half asleep in Chris’s hold, half of the reason why he hadn’t put him down,

“Yeah, it’s his first time here, we should get him something.” Sebastian nodded, leaving the stroller outside and grabbing the backpack he headed in, the giftshop was rather large, having a second floor and two separate adjoined spaces. T-shirts, bags, hats, sweaters, onesies, frames, and fragile kick-knacks on glass shelves were in the first area, then came the checkout counter and the second room which was full of stuffed animals of every kind. The upstairs was filled with more, toys, games, puzzles, posters outdoor decorations and even a small section for Christmas ornaments. They decided to get Luca a shirt and then to let him pick out one other thing he wanted from the toys or the stuffed animals.

“Luc, buddy, can you wake up?” Chris asked him, rubbing his back and gently shaking him, Luca slowly lifted his head up and looked at Chris with a tired expression,

“Hey bud, I know you’re tired but we’re gonna get you something since it’s your first time here, which shirt do you like better?” Sebastian held out two options for him, one was filled with African animals and the zoo’s name and the other had snakes slithering over the letters of the Zoo’s name. Luca pointed to the one with the snakes on it,

“Good choice, now, if you want to you can pick out one more thing here, they have stuffed animals in that room and toys upstairs, do you want to look or are you too tired?” Luca squirmed in his hold, wanting to get down, Chris let him down and Luca quickly padded off to the stuffed animal section, Chris in his wake. His eyes lit up at the vast array of stuffed animals around them. He went straight over to a stuffed Tapir,

“Papa! Look!”

“I see, that’s nice, is that what you want?” Luca didn’t answer, just looking around, he went over to a stuffed elephant and giggled as he felt the soft ears, but he moved on from that one pretty quickly, he bypassed a section of snakes and lizards and frogs and paused for a second in front of the otters, they were pretty cute, but inevitably moved on. His little brow seemed to be furrowed in concentration, Chris was just about to ask him what was wrong when he gasped and took off, dropping the Tapir to the ground as he ran over to a giant grizzly bear plush. He tugged on it from where it was on the shelf, and it toppled out, it was almost as big as he was, he hugged it around the neck, a huge grin on his face,

“Daddy! Papa! Look! It looks like Lucy!”

“It does,” Chris agreed, but in his head he was thinking oh no, that bear is huge, well, they had said one thing… and they hadn’t specified.

“Is that the one you want,” Sebastian asked him, Luca nodded fervently.

“Are you sure you don’t want to look at the toys? And what about Mr. Tapir?” Chris asked, Luca gasped again, dropping the grizzly bear and running to take the tapir out of Chris’s hands, he hugged it close,

“Swwy I drops you,” He told it, petting it’s head, Chris smiled,

“So the Tapir?” He asked, Luca looked between them, far too stressed and confused for any two year old. He clutched the tapir to his chest and walked over to the grizzly bear, petting it and hugging it too. He looked between them, a frown etched into his features. He looked like he was about to cry. Sebastian caught Chris’s eye from where he stood and he inclined his head foreward as if to say,

“Are we really gonna make him choose, come on, he loves them both,” While Chris responded back with a stern head tilt of his own as if to say “We can’t just give him everything because he looks sad and cute,” Luca was still looking between the two stuffed animals, he sighed, kissing the tapir and saying, “Sorry” to it, and that was it, yeah, they really were gonna give in because he was sad and cute,

“Luc, do you want them both?” Sebastian asked with a sigh, Luca’s eyes widened, his face brightening immediately,

“Can i? Can I really have them both daddy?”

“Just this once, come on, let’s go before you find something else!” Luca dropped both stuffed animals as he ran into Sebastian’s legs,

“Tank you, thank you, thank you thank you!” He said, Sebastian smiled as he patted his back, Chris picked up both stuffed animals and they headed up front to pay. Chris carried the grizzly bear stuffy as Luca held onto the Tapir and his hand, While Sebastian put the t-shirt into the stroller and the family exited the zoo together.

Alright, here’s your bear, and your tapir, you’re all buckled in,

“All buckled!” Luca said, giving Chris a thumbs up, Chris had laid the stuffed bear over Luca’s lap and Luca held the tapir in his hands. Chris checked again to make sure he was fastened in well before closing the door and climbing in the passenger seat. As they drove off, they heard Luca talking to both stuffed animals,

“What are you gonna name them?” Chris asked, as they got to the exit of the Zoo to turn onto the main road,

“Tete and Lucy!” Luca said proudly,

“Alright, tete and Lucy, is Lucy the bear and tete the tapir?” Chris asked for confirmation,

“Uh huh…”

“Great choices.” Chris said, although he wasn’t sure where “tete” came from… kids. Soon enough Luca’s soft mumblings to the stuffed animals petered off, at a stop lught Chris looked back and his heart swelled at the sight. Luca was sleep, cuddled up with both of them.

“Seb, look,” Sebastian glanced back and his heart warmed as well, a soft smile stretching across his face.

“Now that’s precious, take a picture,” He told Chris, and Chris did.

Today was a success. A tired out toddler and a nice family outing for the books.

Luca’s stuffed animals Tapir & Grizzly Bear

#Luca Evans #YMMLY series #Evanstan

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smkkbert · 5 years

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Time for a story - Midnight City

“Mama, don’t go.”

Oliver didn’t have to see his son’s big wide eyes to know that he was looking at Felicity with a pleading expression that would melt everyone’s heart instantly. Just hearing Tommy’s voice was enough to know that he was close to crying. Tears were probably welling in his eyes already, making it even harder to say no to him.

From Felicity’s reaction, Oliver guessed his imagination was pretty close to what was happening. She kneeled down in front of Tommy. With her hands at his hips, she tugged him closer until their chests were pressing together.

“I have to go,” she told him with soft voice, combing his dark hair with her fingers. “It won’t take long though. I will be back soon.”

“Why?” Tommy asked, his voice sad and without any understanding for his mother’s words. “Why do you have to go?”

Felicity sighed quietly because she really wanted Tommy to understand why she had to leave for a couple of days. Her eyes were locked with Tommy’s, looking at him intensely. No matter how much Tommy’s separation anxiety from Felicity had faded over the last years, he still didn’t like to be apart form her. Oliver couldn’t hold it against his son. It was the same for him after all.

“You know, there are a lot of people in the world that cannot walk,” she told him with soft, trying to make him understand. “Those people need the bio-stimulant mommy and Bruce have been working on to help them walk again, so mommy has to go to Bruce for a couple of days. We have to work on it to make people walk again.”

Oliver felt a tingling in his stomach. Watching Felicity tell their son why she had to leave instead of telling him that she just had to leave made him fall in love with her all over again. She was the best mother he had even watched parenting.

“I don’t want you to go.”

Felicity released a low sigh. Oliver knew that she was determined to go to Gotham, and he was on her side a hundred percent. Tommy was just not making it easy on her. Leaving when your kid begged you to stay was not easy on any parent, at least it wasn’t easy on any good parent.

“Hey.”

Oliver’s soft voice made Tommy turn around. When he kneeled down on the floor like Felicity had too, Tommy wiped the tears from his eyes and stepped towards Oliver. He hugged him, wrapping his small arms around Oliver’s neck and hiding his face against the side of his neck. Oliver could feel his son’s tears on the side of his neck and it made him even sadder.

“I don’t want mama to go.”

“I know.”

Oliver kissed Tommy’s temple before he shot Felicity a brief glance. She looked clueless, shrugging her shoulders. It wasn’t going to be easy to convince Tommy that Felicity really had to go to Gotham City.

“Okay, let’s make a deal.” Oliver put his hands to Tommy’s hips and pushed him away just enough to look at him. While it might not be the best move to bribe your child, sometimes it was the only way to get out of a situation. “As long as mommy is gone, you and I will go to watch the stars every day.”

“Really?”

Oliver nodded his head firmly. “Really.”

Tommy still didn’t seem to be happy, but he nodded his head. When Oliver pulled him closer, the boy rested his arms around his father’s neck and let him lift him into his arms. Oliver kissed his temple once more and nodded towards Felicity with a soft smile.

Straightening up with Tommy, who was still clinging to him, in his arms, Oliver watched Felicity saying goodbye to the rest of the family. She hugged Millie and Addie at the same time, peppering both girls’ faces with her kisses and letting them hug her at the same time. Then she said goodbye to Emmy, who promised her that she would make sure Tommy was distracted all the time because she was just the best older sister one could hope for.

Felicity was already about to turn to William to say goodbye to him when Hawk urged in between. Waggling his tail, he licked Felicity’s cheek and ear, making her smile. She framed his face and brushed a kiss against the tip of his nose. Hawk sneezed, making her chuckle and pet his head before she fed him a treat she had kept in the pocket of her pants. Hawk snuggled to her legs like a cat, making those dinosaur-noises he always made when he was feeling content.

While Hawk turned to Emmy, Millie and Addie, who were feeding him more treats, William stepped towards Felicity. They just looked at each other for a long moment without saying a word. Still, there was a silent conversation happening between the two of them. When William nodded slightly before they hugged, Oliver knew he was right.

Biting down on his tongue, Oliver looked down at his shuffling feet. He knew exactly what Felicity and William’s silent conversation had been about. The last time Felicity had been on a business trip, Oliver had woken up in the middle of the night. He had been so disorientated that he had searched for Felicity. Only when William had reminded him that Felicity was not home, Oliver had come back to himself. The moment Oliver had gone back to bed, William had called Felicity to tell her about that, and Felicity had called Oliver to calm him down completely.

In all the years he had suffered from PTSD, the symptoms had slowly tuned down. He was getting along much better now, but there were still triggers that made it hard to maintain his wellbeing. Thunderstorms and missing Felicity were two of the worst for him because those were far out of his comfort zone.

When Oliver lifted his gaze, Felicity’s eyes were on him. She didn’t have to say the words for him to know that she didn’t want him to feel sorry for what had happened. She would always worry about him when she was away, just like he would always worry about her when they were apart. It was who they were.

Clearing his throat, Oliver slapped Tommy’s butt playfully and sat him down on the floor. Tommy held onto his neck for a moment long, anger Oliver gave him the time he needed until his son was able to let go of him. Only then he faced his kids as he straightened back up.

“Okay, all of you leave now because I am going to say goodbye to mommy now, and there is going to be a lot of kissing and smooching.”

When he stepped in front of Felicity, already framing her face with his hands, he watched the kids from the corner of his eyes. Neither of them was turning to leave. Actually, Emmy firmed her stance and crossed her arms in front of her chest. She was watching them.

“Come on, guys,” William suggested and tried to chase his little siblings away. “Let’s go to the living room and watch a movie together.”

“What? Why?” Emmy asked, frowning. “I like to watch them kiss.”

“They want to be alone, Dummy,” William told her and tugged at a strand of her hair that jumped up and down when he let go of it. “Come on.”

Oliver waited before the door closed behind the kids. Only then he leaned in and brushed a kiss against Felicity’s lips. Putting her arms around his neck and scratching her fingernails over his scalp, she deepened the kiss. Her tongue touched his, causing Oliver to hum into the kiss and tighten his arms around her waist.

It should be forbidden to still feel so great kissing her. Every time he kissed her, it still felt as great as that first kiss that they had shared in the hospital after Baby Sara’s birth. Only now, there was a familiarity to kissing each other that made it even more exciting. The fact that this bittersweet taste of goodbye was lacking made it even better.

When they broke the kiss, Felicity’s warm eyes were already on his face. The soft expression in her eyes mixed with the heavy feeling that had settled in his stomach the moment he had woken up this morning. It was never easy saying goodbye, even when he knew that it wasn’t going to take very long.

“I will be back as soon as I can,” Felicity told him with whispered voice. “For both of our sakes.”

Oliver sucked in a deep breath and nodded his head. He knew that leaving him was as hard on her as it was on him. They had spent the last years together, and it seemed like every minute together was only making it harder to spend time apart.

“Just promise me that you will enjoy your trip at least a little,” Oliver asked, rubbing her shoulders. “I am sure Bruce can show you the best sides of Gotham City. If that means I have to miss you a day longer, that’s okay.”

Felicity smiled softly, leaning against him. “I am going to miss you.”

“I am going to miss you too,” Oliver replied with a sigh and brushed his lips against hers. “But one of us has to save the world while the other raises the next generation.”

Felicity chuckled with amusement. Her eyes were so soft and the smile on her lips so warm that Oliver felt like he was falling in love with Felicity all over again. He took his time to take her in, memorizing her face in the slight hope that the memory would make him miss her a little less.

“Are you sure that I shouldn’t take you to the airport?” Oliver asked eventually, nuzzling her nose. “I wouldn’t mind.”

“I know you wouldn’t,” Felicity replied, “but I think I better drive myself.”

Oliver sighed, but he nodded his head. If that was the way Felicity wanted it do be done, they would do it exactly like that.

Kissing her cheek, Oliver stepped away from her and grabbed the suitcase he had already placed next to the door. While Felicity threw her purse and her jacket on the passenger seat, he lifted the suitcase into her trunk. If he wasn’t allowed to take her to the airport, he could at least make sure that she got everything she needed for her trip to Gotham.

Walking around the car and back towards her, he opened the door to the driver’s seat and leaned his forearms on top of it. He must have looked quite miserable because Felicity chuckled when she turned towards him. Resting her hands on his forearms, she leaned closer to him and flashed him a comforting smile.

“These couple of days will pass quickly. Before we realize that we have been apart, we will already be together again,” Felicity smiled, but she guessed she could see the doubt in his eyes because she sighed deeply. “Or maybe not.”

“Or maybe not.” Oliver rested a hand over hers on his forearms. “I will call you every morning when I am on my way to work.”

“And I will call you every night before I go to bed, so we can talk while I am falling asleep.”

“Sounds great,” Oliver said and nodded his head slowly while he was looking at Felicity. Groaning lowly, he leaned in and placed a firm kiss on Felicity’s lips. “And now go.”

Felicity chuckled in amusement. She squeezed Oliver’s forearms once more before she sat down in the driver’s seat. He closed the door for her, careful that her fingers didn’t get in between. Felicity lifted her fingers for a brief wave before she directed the car down the driveway towards the street.

With his hands pushed deep into the pockets of his pants, Oliver looked aft her. He really missed her already.

→ → → → →

Taking the last step down onto the asphalt, Felicity pushed her sunglasses into her hair. It felt good to walk again. Although the flight hadn’t taken long, and she had had all freedom to walk around, it felt good to be back out of her seat. Walking allowed her to stretch her limbs a little and make her feel a little more wake.

Felicity lifted her gaze. Bruce was already standing at the hangar, his hands pushed deep into the pockets of his pants. He was looking back at her intensely, watching her while she approaching him.

Felicity smiled. Seeing him like that actually reminded her on the way Oliver had looked the day he had asked her out on their very first date. Oliver Queen, who had always been so smug when it came to wrapping women around his little finger, had acted like a shy school boy when he had asked her out. It had been incredibly sweet to see him like that, and it had been the very reason why Felicity had dared to give it a try despite the complicated situation of dating a friend that you were secretly trying to save the world with.

Seeing Bruce like that, though it was a little amusing, made Felicity nervous. She knew that he was into her. It hadn’t been easy to deal with that because she liked Bruce. He was her friend, and she didn’t want to hurt him. She just couldn’t feel for him what he was feeling for her. She never would.

When Felicity stepped in front of Bruce, his shy smile made way for a smug grin. He lifted his hands and gestured around himself.

“So, how do you like my private airport?”

Felicity smiled, glad that Bruce could still be himself around her. She knew that it wasn’t easy on him. After she had found out that he was in love with her, it had taken weeks until they had been able to be friends again. He had been embarrassed that she had known about his feelings. Felicity didn’t know why.

“It’s really fancy,” she told him eventually, “and it allows a really comfortable way of traveling which is exactly my way of taking a flight.”

“So, your travel was good?”

“It was great,” Felicity assured him. “Thank you for offering me your private jet to take me here. I mean I do have my own private jet, but-“

“-mine is just so much more luxurious.”

Felicity could hardly object to that. Bruce’s jet did offer a lot more services than hers did, probably because he used his much more frequently than Felicity used hers. In these last years, she had used the jet more for private reasons than for any business trips. Traveling alone as a mighty woman in STEM was something completely different than traveling with her family of seven.

“I am really glad you are here,” Bruce said, looking at her with a soft smile. “You can be sure that I will do everything I can to make being in Gotham City an experience for you. There is too much you haven’t seen of my city yet.”

“Well, if someone can do that, I know it’s you.”

They smiled at each other for a long moment. Soon, Bruce pulled his hands from the pockets of his pants and spread his arms though. Felicity’s smile widened, and she stepped into his arms without hesitation, letting him hug her tightly.

Felicity couldn’t even remember how she and Bruce had turned into friends. She guessed that because they had worked together so close and they shared so many interests and opinions, it had just happened. Whether that was true or not, she couldn’t imagine it any other way now. Her friend Bruce was a part of her life like John, Laurel and Roy were.

In a lot of ways, she had found Bruce like she had found Oliver – by accident or maybe by fate. He was another soulmate for her, someone who drove her to be better and who allowed her to be herself. She knew that she was feeling comfortable around him, comfortable enough to share all kinds of secrets with him and to tell him how she felt. Maybe, if there was no Oliver, Bruce would be the one for her.

Compared to her love for Oliver, everything she could possibly feel for anyone else, was pale though. Her love for him was incomparable and unfathomable. There were no words to describe what she felt for him. Love might come as close to it as possible, but it still didn’t seem enough, so Felicity knew that, even if Oliver was no more one day, she could never love anyone as much as she loved him. And she would never settle for anything less.

The thought made a cold shiver run down the length of Felicity’s spine. She took a step back and out of Bruce’s arms quickly. He seemed to sense that something was wrong because he looked at her intensely. When Felicity put on a smile, Bruce decided to go with it though instead of asking about it.

Offering her his arm, he led her through the hanger and towards the black stretch limousine that was already waiting for them. The chauffeur opened the door to the backseats for them and smiled politely.

“Welcome to Gotham City, Mrs. Queen.”

Felicity thanked the man and flashed him a smile. She remembered him from her last trip to Gotham when he had picked her up at the public airport and had taken her right towards Wayne Enterprises.

When the door was shut behind them, Bruce grabbed the bottle of champagne form the cooler and poured both of them a glass. He could barely contain his smile when he handed her one of the glasses and rose his to a toast. She was sure that he had planned every second of their time together here in Gotham with every detail and that he had daydreamed about the way it would go again and again.

“Here’s to a great and successful time together.”

Felicity smiled and touched her glass with his before she took a sip. The champagne was delicious. It prickled in her tongue and all the way down into her stomach, leaving her with a feeling of content.

She couldn’t remember when had been the last time that she had drunk a glass of champagne before lunch. Maybe during her last vacation on Bali, she had done so. At home, apart from the lack of reason to drink a glass of champagne in the middle of the day, she was always making sure that she was still able to drive in case something was wrong with the kids and she was always able to slip into her role as Overwatch in case something was wrong with the city. Alcohol wasn’t easy to combine with her role as mother or her role as Overwatch.

This business trip might allow her to have some kind of mini-vacation she hadn’t had in a long time though. In Gotham, she wasn’t on mommy-duty, and she wasn’t on Overwatch-duty either. Here, she could just be herself and do whatever she wanted.

“I thought you might also enjoy some mint chocolate chip ice cream,” Bruce stated and opened a little freezer where a small bowl of her favorite ice cream was waiting just for her it seemed. “I know you love mint chocolate chip.”

Putting her glass of champagne aside, Felicity grabbed the bowl and pushed the first spoon into her mouth. She hummed contently at the familiar taste of heaven because that was exactly what this kind of ice cream was to her. It was pure heaven.

“Really, if you continue like that, I might not want to go away ever again.”

Bruce cocked his head and narrowed his eyes at her slightly. Felicity held his gaze for exactly three seconds before she gave in with a sigh.

“Is it weird that I miss my family already?”

Bruce chuckled. “I think it just proves how much you love them.”

Felicity nodded her head. Sometimes, it still hit that there had been a time that she had envisioned her future to be quite different from this. She had thought that she would lock herself into a small underground office and continue her hacktivism all alone as Ghost Fox Goddess. She would never get married and never have kids because she would never be able to trust someone. Everyone around her would just force her to give up believing in the good in people.

Instead, here she was. She was leading on of the top three technology companies of the US. She was happily married to a great guy she was raising five kids and a dog with and still found time to save the world or at least Starling City. Just that she wasn’t doing it alone. She didn’t have to do anything alone because she had so many people trusting her, believing in her and loving her.

“I think I might no be the most fun person as long as I am away from my family,” Felicity said with a sigh and pushed another spoon of ice cream between her lips because ice cream had always been her comfort food. “Sorry for that.”

“Oh, don’t worry.” Bruce smiled. “I have the perfect distraction planned for you.”

Felicity perked up her eyebrows, smiling. “Shoot.”

“Well, for today, I thought it was nice if I got to show you a little bit of the city. You have been here a couple of times, but I doubt that you ever saw much of Gotham. Since there is a lot to see here, I will show you all the secret places.”

It was the second time this was pointed out to her today. It only made it truer she guessed. She really hadn’t seen a lot of the city. It would be nice to add some actual memories to the information she had read about the city since she started working with Bruce.

“Sounds like fun.”

“After that,” Bruce continued, smiling happily about her consent with the plan, “I will take you out for dinner if that is okay for you. I booked a wonderful restaurant right at the coast, so we can take a walk at the beach before calling it a night.”

Bruce looked at Felicity with almost some insecurity in his eyes. She guessed that, even though it was no date, he still wanted to make sure that it was perfect. There was nothing he had to fear though.

“That sounds really nice,” Felicity told him and took a sip of her champagne. “We can still work tomorrow.”

“Absolutely.”

Bruce flashed Felicity a wide smile and took a sip of his champagne too. When he turned his gaze and looked out of the window, Felicity could still see him smiling widely. She didn’t doubt for a second that he would do anything in his power to distract her from missing her family.

→ → → → →

“You cannot be serious.” Bruce placed his glass of wine on the couch table with so much force that the tinkling sound jarred in her ears. His eyes never left hers though. “Captain America is in no way the better hero.”

Felicity rolled her eyes and took another sip of her wine before she replied, “I didn’t say that he was the better hero. I just said that he was the hotter hero.”

“Because hotness is all that matters when you are trying to save the world.”

Pursing her lips, Felicity grabbed the pillow from behind her back and threw it right at Bruce. He caught it easily, just like Oliver always did, and used it to make himself more comfortable. A wide grin was plastered on his lips the entire time. Her reaction to his teasing just amused him more.

“Well, while we might have to agree to disagree on who’s the hotter avenger,” Felicity said pointedly and empties her glass of wine with one gulp, “at least we can agree that Iron Man is definitely the better avenger overall.”

“Absolutely,” Bruce agreed indeed, nodding his head, “and I think that counts more than your little crush on Chris Evans.”

Felicity was about to reply something when her words were drowned by a long yawn falling from her lips. She glanced at her watch, and her eyes widened at what she saw. She doubted that she had seen that time being displayed on her watch a lot of times since she was a mother of five.

“It’s already past three a.m.,” she said and placed her empty wine glass on the table. “I should really go to my hotel now. We have a busy schedule tomorrow.”

The moment she scooted to the edge of the couch, searching for her shoes, Bruce hurried to sit up a little bit more straight too. His muscles tensed slightly. The idea of ending what had been without any doubt a wonderful day didn’t seem to please him.

“You do know that you could as well just sleep here,” Bruce said quickly. “I have spacious and quite luxurious bedrooms. We can drink another glass of wine while Alfred is taking care that your suitcases are brought here, and we can have delicious breakfast together tomorrow morning before we have to head to Wayne Enterprise.”

Smiling, Felicity cocked her head at Bruce. It was incredibly sweet of him to invite her to stay here with him. Bruce didn’t let people in on his life easily. His mansion was like a fortress. There might be dozens of guest rooms, but Felicity doubted that a lot of them had been used so far. Bruce liked to be alone.

“That’s nice,” she said, “but all my stuff is at the hotel, and I think it’s better that way.”

Bruce didn’t seem exactly convinced. He actually looked a little bit disappointed that she wasn’t going to stay here. Felicity knew that it was better that way though.

“Okay, I am going to let my driver drive up the limousine and-“

“Oh, I could actually need a walk.” Felicity slipped into her shoes and chuckled. “I looked it up on Google Maps, and the walk will only take around twenty minutes. I think that’s what my slightly dizzy head needs to sober up before I fall into bed.”

Bruce smile and nodded his head, grabbing his shoes. “In that case, I will walk you.”

She didn’t need to say the words for Bruce to suspect what she was thinking. The look she threw him alone was enough for him to understand, just like the look Bruce shot her in response was enough for her to know that she wasn’t happy with it.

“I am not sure that’s a smart idea, Felicity,” he said carefully, moving a hand through his dark hair. “I am actually quite sure that this is a terrible idea.”

Slipping into her shoes, Felicity got up and grabbed her purse. Bruce wanted to get up too, but she quickly crossed the distance towards him with one step. She put her hands onto his shoulders, and bent down to brush a kiss to his cheek.

“Don’t worry about me,” she told him with a smile and winked. “I can take care of myself. I am the Green Arrow’s wife.”

She turned around and walked towards the door. Bruce had gotten up by now and was watching after her. His hands were pushed deep into the pockets of his pants and his shoulders were hunched. He looked insecure like he wasn’t sure he should let her go. He didn’t say a word though Felicity was almost sure that she heard him whisper “And that’s exactly what got me so worried” right before she left the room.

Down in the hall, Felicity said goodbye to Alfred before she left Bruce’s mansion and set off to go to her hotel.

Walking through the dark streets, she looked around. She had seen the city by now as Bruce had shown her around. By night, the city looked completely different though. It looked dark and dangerous in some way, but oh so fascinating in other ways.

Felicity knew a lot about Gotham. Since she knew that Bruce Wayne was Batman and had started to work with him, she had made sure that she knew a lot about the city he did his best to protect. Gotham’s wealth, just like Starling’s had been years ago, was in the hands of maybe a handful of people. A lot of people were living in poorness though. Just like with Starling’s Glades, they did have neighborhoods nobody dared to go to at night, but those were a lot larger here than they were in Starling.

Gotham, in a lot of ways, felt more like a big city. Starling, on the other hand, felt a lot more like a small town. Felicity couldn’t really say why that was the case. Walking through the city, she felt like that was true though.

When Felicity turned around the corner, she found herself caught in a dead-end street. She guessed her short glance at the route Google Maps had advised her to take just hadn’t been enough for her to find the way. She had definitely lost her way.

Frowning, Felicity grabbed her phone from her purse to help her out of here. She was busy looking at the display and trying to find her way to the hotel. Taking the first step out, she stepped into a puddle and groaned.

As her gaze lifted, she caught sight of the tall figure standing at the end of the street. In the dark of the night, she couldn’t see his face. Not even the lights of the street lamps fell onto his face She could just see the schemes of his body.

The man – at least from his physical appearance she believed that he was a man – didn’t say a word. He just stood there, quiet and unmoving, while he was staring in her direction.

* * *

@fannaz @promiseyoullbepatientwithme @bytemegeekette @felicity-said-just-in-case @phanseptiic @orangeisorange @mspotatohead14 @whentheheavenfades @emmaamelia95 @smoakingskye @seaolicity @ourwritinginvein @1022bridgetp @felicityqueenforever @leagueofolicity17 @yryssss @myhauntedblacksoul @sherlock44 @sinceriouslybea @arrowsalways @olivyflavescentdeer @olicitys-castle @ofnothingcharming @vaelisamaza @smoakedandcharmed @alexisa1206 @mysaudadespt2 @florence-bubbles @addictiontelly @queens-of-arrows @memcjo @hysterical-for-joshifer @oswinelevenforever @olicitylovemaking @bandanab310 @mymusiclove101 @lynslogic @scarletqueen23 @olicityshipper19 @alex-wesley @arrows-4ever @unabashedlynerdypatrol @louehmysoul @ligiapimenta @chattyyana @charlie-leau @coal000 @samcrowleys @ishippolivia @julianegomesqueen @malafle @miriam1779 @charlinert @melaux @ontheolicityship @myshipperlife @wrightainsley @lexi9515 @ladygreenwood @multi-fandom-crazy-fangirl @morinamel @mje-thomas @kebarry @canadianheartgirl @nannett2307 @almondblossomme @paarti12 @kathrynelizabeth89 @imdfabulous @cutearrowgirl @mrt2501 @mecha1330 @arsipaci14 @mzminx @salasvia @brandis91 @cainc3 @morganmiguess @pr0fessi0nal-fangurl @iamisalima @nessafrancis-blog @jonhdiggle @niki-is-amazing @universed-posts @hopeful-warrior @senoritaswiftie @bellemmie @green-arrows-of-karamel @iheartarrow @olicityovereverything @oliverfel4 @navyaarsha @fandoms-breathe-life @simone4mcswarek @olicity-in-the-heart @fullychippedcreation @geemarie @everything-but-normal-cat @myarroworld @tjmartinez @pleasantfanandstudent @itsmagnoliagirl @j69confessional2 @scentedcolorpirate @icanica74 @javinancupil @tjmartinez98 @certainmentalityface @tatianadamaceno @ryelew @wildwillowzepplin @missafairy @letsplaymurde-r @lipizette @positivepiper @nuttymilkshakehologram @laksagirl @turnupthemusicandscream @pumpernickle93 @onceuponanolicity @1106angel @jaspertown @fadinglands @morganashimi83 @mochababychristy @omglovechrissie @mariejr88-blog @thetaufactor @onceuponanolicity @speakandseethetruth @bri206 @aglasgo @thats0klaroline @geemarie @pineprincess @nerdgirljen @peterpanslostgirl666 @eternal-olicity14 @allyouhadtodowas-stay-stay-stay @lovelycssefan @tsseract @flowerandsunshine @dcnmarvelgamergeek @blondeeoneexox @monetsmark @soaring-cities @bb-olicity @mashamarty @rulerofsilence @erika-amber @felicity087 @i-claim-only-emily @pattid1 @westallenandolicityshipper @babyolicityandwestallen @nothingmorethanmyotps @kayleenyc @tonto16 @olicityfluv @olicitea1990 @olicity5ever @haahaaa2408 @pattid1 @faegal04 @24karatgem @wrldtravler @readerkas @valery6488 @lemmyeatspeaches @olicity-beliver

(If you want to be tagged or untagged, just let me know. :))

#arrow #olicity #olicity fic #olicity fanfic #time for a story

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barksbog · 5 years

Text

frequently sent anons and stuff

gonna answer some thing people keep asking me or keep getting wrong or i just really feel are important to know

(i have a faq but we all know what tumblr mobile be like)

how did you become a plush making gremlin?

always loved plushies and weird creatures

learned how to make plushies on The Internets

took some commissions for custom ones (did not enjoy that too much)

started to sell my own designs

here we go

^most professional image that exists of my face.

whole lot more under the cut

1. business/onlineshop related

Do you take commissions? I don´t really open for regular comissions.

i sometimes accept “sponsorships” of stuff that fits with my other work. especially if it´s just a recoloring of an existing pattern (like a different species of slug or toad for example).

will you sell more of this plushie?

if it´s still in the online shop but listed as out of stock the answer is most likely yes. it takes me a while tho because i really do make each one myself. this is a one gremlin operation.

i really wanted to get one of your microraptors, spinosaurs (or any other dinosaur plushie)? will they come back?

sorry they really won´t. neither will i restock any of the dinosaur charms, pins and stickers once they sold out. for a good amount of reasons i have decided to leave paleoart behind. as cool as dinosaurs are. i like my mental health more.

i feel like everyone who witnessed the level of drama coming from certain members of the paleo community understands completely what i mean and while i know you can create paleoart and just reduce interaction to a minimum i like to be active on social media and discord servers relevant to what i do.

do you ship to ...

yes. yes i ship worldwide.

does that plushie really cost 30,000€?

no my likely american friend. it´s 30.00€ we just use commas here and so does my shop when set to €. i can´t set it to $ because i need to pay my. everything. in € and honestly don´t want to constantly gamble on the current exchange course being steady so i actually get my money. paypal will let you pay in your currency tho and just send me €.

i tried to contact you and you didn´t respond?

-if you contacted me like “hey” or “hey i have a question” i´m unlikely to have the energy to respond. please always contact artists with what you want to know

-i have answered that question a lot before or it can easily be answered by looking at my onlineshops faq

-you sent me an anon about a order. i can´t help you there

-if you have order related question it´s best to email me through the contact form of my onlineshop. if you just email my business mail it often ends in spam and i don´t see if for a few weeks.

2. sewing/plush making related

Where do you get that fabric? how does that happen to have toads on it?

i get it custom printed by spoonflower (they have a factory in the US and in Germany). i design it in photoshop and just upload it and they print it for me. they can be a bit slow. or just send you a meter of middle earth for no reason. or print a meter half black for no reason but overall their quality is great and so is their customer support when they do mess up.

a few tips i have are:

- the minky piling runs from the top down.

- you can design meters even when it says and displays yards in the preview, just check if it´s set to meters when in the basket before checkout.

- never set anything to center and order more than one meter, it will be printed once in the middle and leave you with a bunch of white useless minky.

- if you don´t want to wrangle 4 meters of fabric apart just keep adding One meter of the design at the time and you will get precut meters.

where did you learn to sew? how do i learn to sew?

I had a very basic crafts class in school with a shitty teacher that told me that “i´m sloppy and Can Not Sew” but really everything useful i ever learned i learned from The Internets so just go and look for some free patterns and tutorials and you are good to go. after trying a few patterns you will get a feeling for how plushies work and can combine what you learned. it´s really just like when you learn to draw and break things down into shapes.

if you have some questions or things you can´t figure out or just want to talk about crafts i run a really nice server with palaeoplushies

https://discord.gg/Cqwq4r3

what´s it like to run a business with 21?

stressful. i´m not always sure what i´m doing. but i´m doing it. and i believe in you, you can do it too. there is a 10kg bag of stuffing and a 25kg box of beans in my room. i have a whole huge sorting box full of eyes.

you are doing this fulltime? that´s really cool

yes i do this fulltime However. i really wish i could have a sidejob but i can´t because i have a funky brain and migraines so i really can´t find or keept almost any job.

^me doing my job.professionally. my job being. turning the fricking frogs gay.

3. personal.

so you are australian, how are the kangaroos?

No. Stop. I´m austrian. i don´t even know if you are joking or for real. just don´t.

so you are german? you speak german right?

again. i´m austrian. yes we speak german here but a different dialect so i likely don´t sound like the germans you have heard in movies. in fact the majority of germans will not even understand me.

can you stop complaining about the weather?

yes i complain about heat because. i´m heat sensitive. also because i´m actually an Alpine Gremlin and shouldn´t be subjected to temperatures over 30°C. our house doesn´t have AC. i work in here all day at 28°C room temp and with high humidty.

yes i complain about the cold too. because our house is old and badly insulated and i have to carry in firewood in laundrybaskets to feed to an old woodburner and it sucks. our house frequently falls down to 16°C.

so there is a spelling mistake?

yes i make a lot of spelling mistakes. or just switch out whole words. or forget whole words. unless it´s something important like a salespost please just don´t point that out constantly. like mentioned before i have a funky brain and it just be like that. also like mentioned before. i´m austrian. english is actually my second language so. be nice.

way too long list of spire fun facts:

i´m nonbinary and use they/them pronouns. i´m also very gay.

if you see me refer to “my wife” that´s the moon. i´m legally married to her. i really like dramatically standing on my balcony and looking at her.

if you see me yell about “the lesbians” that´s my mourning geckos.

i have 13 furbies. and you have no right to insult them. they are baby.

i also have a lot of skulls and other dead things

I´m autistic and come with some extra dyslexia, depression and anxiety.

i also come with intense migraines that can make me useless for a solid week

i live in a village surounded by woods with less than 200 people

i did spent a lot of time in vienna for 6 years tho and lived there for three of that 6

i actually have a diploma in graphic design. that i don´t really need for anything but winning argument about aesthetic choices or making jokes

yes. i am kinda short. (162cm/5.3ft)

i have two cats. they are littermates tho. so i get some people have a hard time telling it´s not just the same cat. i swear they are two different cats tho and actually really easy for me to tell apart.

milk belongs in tetrapacks. not jugs. fight me

tapirs are nasty creatures

krampus comes on the 5th or 6th of december. stop calling him the christmas devil you fools. my source? growing up with the krampus tradition.

you know what happens on the 24th tho? me. that´s my birthday. and that is in fact austrian christmas day. all christmas happens that day. if you wish me merry christmas before happy birthday i will never forgive you.

i really loved balto as a child. the dingo pictures version tho. i was enraged when i saw the ofiicial balto because i thought they stole it from dingo pictures. i watched a lot of dingo pictures and that´s why i´m Like This

^my lovely wife

if you see me rambling in the tags. generally i´m. okay. you don´t have to worry but if you relate or just feel like talking to me? you can dm me and i have actually made friends like that before so.

if i don´t respond to your dms or asks it´s not because i don´t like you i just have very low social energy most days

and finally.

if you think me and @palaeoplushies are the same person we have a legal right to your soul and your favorite child for our Collection

we prefer none human children tho

(i´m sorry for tagging you. and making you scroll through like “wtf is spire taggin me in now again” but it would have felt weirder not to let you know about the future souls i´m sending your way)

#in short.#i´m trying but i´m just a little gremlin #if that gave you more questions than you had before #rip. but also you can still just anon them. i actually like getting anons #i just have low energy to answer the same questions over and over #so i just leave them sitting there to marinate in my inbox forever #text post #faq #really no one asked for this but here we go #if you actually read that whole thing you are entitled for a refund of your time #however i don´t refund time #i´m sorry #i think my theme doesn´t display lists as lists so that will be fun for you #again sorry but also #no one forced you to read my resume #also idk if my face was relevant but that´s the most professional image i own

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glamrockmonarch · 5 years

Text

We Are The Lovers - PresentDay!Brian May (Fluff/Smut)

Requests: “Omg I’m a sucker for your older Brian! Could you maybe do something about Brian dating a younger woman who maybe had a kid from another relationship. I don’t even like kids but older dad bri is the sweetest, especially when you’ve written your previous blurbs! Yknow or something really smutty because countryside was bloody amazing! :P I love your blog so much, a definite favourite! XxxX” - Anon

“Okay but can we talk about reader taking care of the 7 musical fox cubs with present day!bri” - Anon

A/N: I put these two requests together simply because I could not help myself the mushy feeling that it brought into my heart. Also, Imma toot my own horn: this is cute af (although I did not proofread because ugh).

You held the little brown cub in your hands and stared down at Danny, your four-year-old son. He is quite inquisitive at the moment, his mind seemed to be more and more awake with every passing day and you sometimes had to make up explanations for his weirdest questions. Lucky for you, you had met Brian the year before and hit it off. Brian was now your boyfriend and although Danny had not spent much time with him, they liked each other, and Brian being a bright mind himself was fascinated by your son’s curiosity. In the past few days, you had been busy working so your son had stayed with Brian a few times during the afternoons, both of them getting to know each other better since you decided to introduce them a few weeks before.

Brian proved to be a wonderful man, and you trusted him to watch your son when you knew his own father would not. It broke your heart, but Danny was so young he could not yet realise how much his father rejected any type of contact with his son. You were just happy to have such an amazing man as Brian in your life who would listen to your son’s rambles and respond with some of his own, somehow Brian still kept up with the childish games, making your son laugh and more than often surprising him with incredible tales.

You were impressed a few days before when you arrived at your boyfriend’s place to pick up your child and found Brian holding a sleeping Danny.

“I showed him to make a stereoscope,” Brian had whispered with Danny fast asleep on his shoulder, Brian’s hand on your boy’s back.

Of course, when you arrived this morning at Brian’s place you were not exactly expecting him to have fox cubs curled up in his kitchen. Danny ran right up to Brian as he usually did, he also looked forward to seeing your boyfriend - at age four he was already on his way to learn how to play the piano, so meeting Brian made him realise he could also play the guitar. You were not too enthused by the prospect of loud evenings at home when he turned thirteen and “you just don’t get it, mom!” became a thing.

For now, Danny held a small furry cub in his small hands, cupping them, too scared of squeezing the animal too hard. This was something else that Brian had started teaching your son; animals are friends. And one must always watch out for his friends. Therefore, Dan was over the moon about the prospect of 1. being able to help save some cute animals, and 2. see something considered more of a baby than himself.

Brian brought a pair of bottles and handed you one of them while helping Danny feed his cub.

“You said they were red,” Danny accused your boyfriend, looking up at him.

With a side smile you looked up at him only for long enough to see him smile with that sort of satisfaction that seemed more personal than shared, he nodded and his curls bounced, he tilted his head to see Danny’s y/e/c eyes.

“They really don’t look it, do they?” Brian paused to watch Danny shake his head, “well, that’s because they are cubs, too young, Dan, to even open their eyes...but they will turn this beautiful ginger colour!”

“Their hair changes?” Danny stared down at the cub in his hands, then turned to look at Brian, “did your hair change too?”

You felt slightly embarrassed listening to the girly voice of your only son, too young to see how that could potentially be offensive. And still, Brian knew how children were and he enjoyed this dynamic with your little one, always curious he sometimes made odd deductions, trying to make sense of the world on his own - mostly getting it wrong but never failing to try.

“Yes!” Brian laughed, your red face turned to look at both males, you watched Dan’s face show an obvious shock while Brian laughed at the peculiar question. “It used to be so dark, almost black!”

Danny, whose hair was a dark shade of blond, just like his father turned to you.

“Mama, is my hair going to be white like Brian’s?” He asked you, his neck bending a funny way.

You shook your head and smiled up at Brian before turning back to your son.

“No,” you played a little bit with your son, “it will be red - like the cubs’!” You insisted.

Brian laughed with you at the expression of pure despair that located on your son’s face. It might have been a bit cruel but your son was so sweet and positive he immediately turned his frown upside down and turned to Brian.

“That means I will get a crown! Like, like...Harry!” He nodded enthusiastically, now excited about the prospect of getting ginger hair.

“I think this one has had enough, Danny...let’s feed one of his sisters, shall we?”

For the better part of the afternoon the three of you sat in Brian’s kitchen to babysit the cubs while Anne got there to pick them up, she was supposed to take them for the night and then pay a visit to the vet in the morning to make sure they were all alright, you could already tell that Danny would not take it well when he had to say goodbye to his sisters and brothers future gingers.

You offered to make dinner while Brian finished feeding the cubs with the willing help of your little boy, although he did not want you to do it on your own you had no problem finding your way around his kitchen. Placing pans on the stove and finding everything you needed in the fridge you stole glances at the two sitting on the floor with the furry animals.

“Why not, Brian?” You thought, “as if I wasn’t already in love: you’re good to Danny too!”

For Brian it was not intentional, he genuinely enjoyed the company of your son; seeing the little boy understand him more and more every time they met.

By the time Anne came and picked up the little fox cubs, Danny was ready to turn in for the night; after having dinner all three of you, the day seemed to have drained his young body of all energy.

As Brian’s friend left, you sat back at the dinner table with your son, pulling him on your lap and allowing for his little arms to wrap around your neck as he cuddled with you, nuzzled in your hair on your shoulder, he fell asleep quickly after proclaiming his admiration for Brian.

“I like Bri, can we hang out tomorrow too?”

This made you laugh, so you nodded and kissed his forehead. “You’ll have to ask him, but I think he would love to!”

The sweet boy pouted and searched for your cheek, kissing you loudly before settling in your arms, feeling loved and safe.

Danny often reminded you of his father, but it was days like this when you saw him as the different person he was; the man he would someday become. You could see him growing closer to Brian, looking up to him and learning with him. You liked this warmth that spread through your chest when Brian came back in and you had your hand on Danny’s messy hair, your cheek against his forehead.

“Is he out?” Your boyfriend wondered.

Smiling you mouthed a yes, not daring to move yet.

“A sweet kid,” Brian praised.

Your boyfriend started picking up the plates and taking them to the kitchen. After he put everything away he came back and leant down to press a soft kiss against your temple, his hand squeezing your shoulder with a tender touch.

“We should go,” you whispered, reaching up and placing your hand on his still on your shoulder.

Brian sighed and looked back at the hall leading to the door. “I’ll just get my jacket.”

“That’s okay, I’ll take an uber.”

“No.”

He stood his ground and left you to get his black jacket on; coming back holding both yours and Danny’s. He watched you get up from the chair and wrapped your jacket around your shoulders and covered part of Danny’s body with it as well.

“Thanks,” you mumbled at him, giving him a toothy grin.

Brian rarely drove his car, so you took it this was a sort of special occasion. You had to sit Danny in the backseat to secure the seat belt around his body, much to your surprise he did not wake up. Riding in the front next to Brian you picked up a light conversation, joking and laughing together while he drove.

“Alright, alright, next time you have to cook!” You teased him after he told you about his mother’s cooking skills.

“No, no...I wouldn’t do her any justice, love.” Brian patted your knee.

As his fingers lingered on your exposed skin, you brought your hand on top of his and giggled.

“Should’ve thought of that before telling me!”

Brian turned his hand around so your fingers could intertwine and you looked back at Danny for a moment, checking on him.

“He wants to hang out with you tomorrow.” You wiggled your brows at Brian and heard him chuckle. “Maybe you could come at...let’s say six?”

“Yes, of course.” Brian smiled, trying to hide his enthusiasm and failing to do so.

Arriving at your place Brian picked Danny out from the seat and carried him inside while you opened and held the door open for him. Closing it carefully behind him, you pointed the way to his room. At last, Brian placed your son on his own bed and you took off his size two sneakers, placing them on the ground before pulling his pjs out of one of the drawers with Brian watching you, helping as he could. Your boyfriend picked up the dinosaurs pjs and warmed them up in his hands while you got Danny out of his little jeans and jumper.

“Thanks,” you said to Brian as he handed you a warmed up pair of pants.

“You know, I am a parent too.” He reminded you.

You rolled your eyes at his comment, it was not like you could forget with all what was being said on the press about how you were younger than his youngest daughter and all…

Kissing your son’s cheek you pulled the covers over his body and wished him sweet dreams. Brian watched your every move, admiring you and taking you in. It had not been long that he was presented to this side of you: the motherly one. He was completely lost in the tenderness of your eyes when you looked at your baby boy; the boy was bright as a red light. Brian was taken aback by some of his reasonings, he was not a bad kid only a curious confident one; which was not always easy to deal with...but entertaining for sure.

When you stood from the side of Danny's bed Brian kissed his palm and pressed it gently on the kid’s forehead. How could he not? The boy was making it hard for him not to spend the entire day by your side.

Stepping out of the dark child’s room, you waited for Brian. Opening your arms you invited your boyfriend in for a hug once he closed the door behind himself. With your arms wrapped around his shoulders, you smiled and pressed a soft kiss to his lips.

“I think you have made a little friend, Dr. May,” you squeezed your lips together to stop from laughing.

“I think I have!” He pecked the tip of your nose. “Goodnight.”

Brian kissed you again, his arms still wrapped around your waist, although this time you felt attached to him, refusing to let him go, heat spreading from within your stomach as you felt lips move against yours ever so slowly. Following his lead you slid your hands down his neck and followed the line provided by his unbuttoned shirt, tickling him with the tips of your fingers.

Recognising the need in your kiss, Brian pulled you closer, sneaking his hands down your back until he reached your butt and squeezed you against him, making you whine.

“Don’t leave,” you mumbled against his lips, barely opening your eyes with your nose grazing his as you felt your heartbeat quicken.

Unable to resist, Brian tilted his head and captured your lips in a new hard kiss. He slid his tongue inside your mouth and made you weak in the knees.

Stepping back in the direction of your room down the hall, you slipped from his grasp with swollen lips.

“You coming?” You asked him playfully.

Brian followed as you turned around and made your way to your own room, throwing your jacket away on the floor as Brian closed the door behind you, locking it just in case. You went to your dresser to take your earrings off and step out of your shoes, only for Brian to come up behind you. His hand pulls your hair to the side and he starts kissing your neck, now touching your sides and pushing his body on yours, his growing erection pressed against your arse. You tilt your head to the side and finish taking the earrings and bracelets off in time for his hands to come up and squeeze your breasts. You had only slept together a couple of times, but you already knew that he could get quite dominant if he meant to. Seemingly, tonight he was going for it.

“You’re so soft,” he spoke on your ear and you were left with nothing to do but let him feel you up in front of your dresser mirror.

You gasped at his touch once his calloused hands went under your skirt and squeezed your butt, reaching up you tangled your hands on his hair and arched your back against him. Brian’s hands followed the line of your panties and then he sneaked his hand inside them, his fingers brushing right over your clit, your legs almost giving out as he went further and slid two fingers inside your wet pussy, pumping them rather harshly as he watched you in the mirror. Eyes closed and mouth hanging open.

“Brian…” you felt your own juices coating his fingers as his fingers fucked you.

Brian kissed your shoulder and you touched his cheek, a miserable moan escaping your lips as you tried to stand on your feet the whole time.

“Feels good?” Brian bit your shoulder. “Does it feel good, love?”

“Yes…” you had to support yourself on the dresser when he slid his thumb across your clit, his fingers still working your pussy. “Brian-yes!” You felt yourself edging closer as he curled his fingers inside you, playing with you a little rough. “I want you, I want you so bad...Bri…” You admitted.

“Show me.”

Brian watched in ecstasy as you started to come undone under his touch. You opened your eyes and found him staring, you stared back into his dark eyes as he brought you closer to the edge, and finally, you bit your lip as you came, aware that you could not get too loud with Danny in the house.

Brian took in a deep breath as you clenched around his fingers and he loved the feeling, knowing he was making you feel this good. He let go of you and watched as you turned around in wobbly legs; you kissed him and sucked on his bottom lip.

“Can I make you feel good too, Bri?” You started undoing a couple of buttons Brian actually buttoned that morning.

With a smile you pushed his shirt off and pushed your dress off, letting it fall to the ground and pool around you as you took off your bra and watched Brian take his pants off. You climbed on the bed and pulled the covers away so at least those would be at the feet of the bed and wouldn’t be stained with your body fluids by morning. Brian dropped his underwear along with the rest of your clothes and climbed on top of you, kissing your back and leaving a trail up your body with his lips. You turned and faced him, eager to take off your panties, you kissed his cheek and neck as you wiggled out of the little pink underwear, now soaked by your previous orgasm. You watched Brian lick his lips before kissing you, returning the gesture he bit your lip and made you moan when he pulled your legs apart and teased you by sliding his cock along your slit. You wrapped your legs around his waist and put your arms under his, brushing his back with your fingertips as you arched your back, giving him good access to your neck and breasts. Brian gave your neck small playful bites and left open-mouthed kisses along the valley of your breasts before taking his cock in his hand, driving it right into your wetness, he pressed his nose against your cheek and reveled in the feeling of your tight pussy around him as he sank inside you in a single hard thrust, your moan lost in a gasp as you felt him fill you up. With little time to adjust you dug your nails on his back and kissed his cheek and chin as he pulled almost all the way out, thrusting his hips right back into yours, picking up a steady pace soon, leaving you moaning and gasping for air, your hips jerking up to meet his, your body felt hot and his skin on yours was the sweetest burn of them all… You hooked your leg to his hip and felt your toes curl in pure pleasure as his cock brushed against your most sensitive spot, somewhere so deep inside you your first instinct was to clench around him. Brian moaned along with you, feeling close, encouraged by the quiet sounds leaving your mouth, you just felt so good wrapped around him. So warm and welcoming.

“Bri, don’t stop, I-” you slid your hands down his back and tried your best to pull him closer to you, wanting nothing more than to have him buried inside you, fucking you so well, you threw your head, “‘m cumming…”

“Yeah?” Brian remained relentless in his ministrations, “cum for me, love.”

Brian breathed heavily against your neck, his hips losing their regular pace as he too neared his own orgasm; he kissed your collarbone and pulled your hips forward as he fucked you through your high, feeling your walls clench and release and clench again around him. So perfect he could not help himself, he emptied his seed inside you.

Your hand dragged up to his shoulders and you cupped his face with one hand, watching his face as he came, his cock twitching inside you still; his eyes were closed and his mouth pouted the form of a little “o”. You kissed the corner of his lips and felt his lips look for yours, letting him find them you kissed again, your bodies brushing against each other for a moment longer before Brian pulled away and rolled away from you on his back so he would not crush you under his weight when he collapsed, exhausted as he was.

After a few minutes catching your breaths, Brian rolled on his side and kissed your shoulder, seeing some marks left by himself all over your body.

“I’ll be right back,” he said, getting up and going into your bathroom.

Brian helped you clean up and after throwing the paper towel away, he came back to bed, holding you in his arms as you rested your head on his chest.

“I’m so glad I didn’t give up birth control…” you mumbled half-jokingly.

“That’ll be two of us.” Brian agreed, his thumb caressing your skin as it went back and forth.

“Only two,” you tilt your head back and look up at him, “Danny has been wondering if I’ll “get him” a brother soon.”

Brian simply chuckled. “What have you told him?”

“I offered to take him to the movies instead,” you smile and laugh, covering your face for a moment, “he forgot everything about it!”

Brian laughed along with you, pulling you closer to him. “I tell you, wonderful child!”

#brian may #brian may imagine #present day brian may #present day stuff #present day brian may x reader #present day brian may x young reader #young reader is a mom #reader is a mom #brian may fic #brian may fanfiction #brian may fluff #brian may smut #queen #queen fandom #queen fanfiction

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c-is-for-circinate · 4 years

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Man, there’s the tragedy of going looking for an old favorite vid and realizing that it’s gone from Youtube

and then there’s the tragedy of going looking for an old favorite vid and realizing that it’s gone from every possible search result you can think of, the platform it was once posted to doesn’t even exist any more, even the old records of older recs missing, and you lost the harddrive you had it saved to three computers ago.

Fuck. I feel fandom-old right now. And I miss the ancient days of the beginning of Livejournal.

#c needs help feeding the dinosaurs

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brainboys · 4 years

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[TOM HOLLAND, CISMALE, HE/HIM] have you seen QUINN WRIGHT around sedona? QUINN is a UNIVERSITY STUDENT/PART-TIME PIZZA DELIVERY GUY, but they’re also THE ENCYCLOPEDIA in the sedona sleuths, so you’ve probably seen them around the firehouse shed. they’re known for being QUICK-WITTED and EARNEST, but they’re also known to be GULLIBLE and IMPULSIVE. when they’re not at the shed, i can usually find them at the PIZZERIA. i can always recognize them by their untied shoelaces, a carefully curated pokemon card collection, adept fingers pressing away on a nintendo, the rush of exhaustion after being late and misplaced optimism.

biography, playlist, pinterest board & connections.

the encyclopedia: The brains of the group, they know loads of random facts that come in handy in the tightest of situations. They’re also probably the one doing the background research when needed.

B A S I C S :

name: quinn wright. nickname: quinn. age: twenty-two. date of birth: october 11th. place of birth: sedona, ka. gender: cismale. pronouns: he/him. sexuality: gay (not out).

P H Y S I C A L :

height: 173cm. build: slim. hair color: brown. eye color: brown. tattoos: none. piercings: none. preferred style of clothing: fashion is not a topic of interest to him, so he tends to lean towards comfort over style. he doesn’t go shopping for clothes often, so he rotates between a few graphic t-shirts, button-ups, and light sweaters for the summer. in winter, he wears over-sized hoodies and sweatpants as often as he can get away with it. he hopes people don’t notice, but he only owns two pairs of jeans and slightly over-sized dress pants for emergencies.

H E A L T H :

physical ailments: none. mental disorders: dyslexia, combined ADHD & battling with depression. smoker? no. drinker? socially. drug user? no. addictions: none. allergies: none.

P E R S O N A L I T Y :

zodiac signs: libra sun, gemini moon. mbti: enfp-t, the campaigner. hogwarts house: gryffindor. positive traits:

quick-witted: quinn is known for being quick on his feet, but that’s not only in a physical sense. when someone pushes him against a corner, whether it’s with a comment made to tease him or a new revelation during an investigation that throws them off, he’s sharp with a silver tongue rapier and speedily familiarizes himself with information, easily readjusting it into what he already has in a way that tends to get them out of difficult situations.

earnest: this is a trait he had to learn, for better or for worse. it’s something he actively forces himself to be in order to get anything done. since his mind tends to be scattered and he’s doing or thinking about doing five things at once, and then something else, he uses tactics he learned at therapy to focus on tasks he needs to get done and that includes having a lot of conviction for the things that other people can do with ease, like sitting down for long enough to finish a rough draft of an essay without getting distracted for a whole day. he applies this mostly to schoolwork and day-to-day necessities, but when they’re working on a new mystery, quinn sits himself down and does research on the background. this is something he genuinely enjoys doing, so he struggles less to focus on it.

friendly: while he doesn’t stray away from the sleuths, he has no problems making friends and talking to strangers outside of the group. he can be shy with new people and prefers being around those who he already knows, but if left alone at a party, he’ll have a new friend group in ten minutes.

negative traits:

gullible: quinn really is this tiktok. someone could tell him anything and he’d be like ‘ ok yeah why not ’ even though it’s an obvious lie. he takes everything at face value and rarely tries to see what’s behind people’s words. people have told him to stop being so trusting towards others, especially when they’re working on solving something, but quinn really does the same shit over and over because it’s in his nature to just trust people and not think to question their intentions.

impulsive: compliment him all you want about how smart he is, the only reason he’s got so much knowledge inside of his brain is that he has no impulse control and if he suddenly has the thought that he needs to know something about how the future might look like with self-operated cars, ways of murdering someone through poison, the algorithm behind rubix cubes or literally any topic under and beyond the sun, he’ll obsess over it for a few days. quinn gets hyperfixations because of his ADHD and they range from videogames to wildly specific points in history.

anxious: anxious counts as one of quinn’s primary moods, and sometimes anxiety comes right in the middle of a perfectly normal day if anything goes slightly wrong, like losing his favorite pen or realizing that he forgot to grab his lunch box before leaving the house that day. since quinn tries really hard to keep a schedule, he feels off whenever he forgets something on it and it brings down his whole mood. in stressful situations, quinn paces back and forth with anxiety, whispering to himself and trying to catch up with his brain. this usually means that he’s thinking really hard on finding a way to solve a situation, though sometimes he’ll be so anxious that it impedes him from thinking straight.

love language: physical touch & words of affirmation. hobbies: video games (lots of them), collecting pokemon cards, keeping up on scientific developments, researching the sleuth’s cases, running, murder mysteries and general mysteries, and whatever his new hyperfixation is. fears: not fitting in, failure, abandonment, needles.

B A C K G R O U N D , T D ; L R :

tw: mentions of cancer, death, and homophobia.

quinn basically grew up in queen’s pizzeria. that’s where his mom worked when he was a kid, so his dad would pick him up from school and drop him off there for the rest of his mom’s shift because he needed to go back to his own job and the pizzeria is where they allowed quinn to hang-out.

he struggled a lot with school and was labeled as a problem child. he hated doing school work and he fell behind in reading, but when quinn entered high-school, he was diagnosed with dyslexia and combined ADHD. by that time, his parents had already gotten divorced after spending quinn’s childhood poorly hiding their frequent fights. his mom also got diagnosed with cancer, and times were rough.

his dad remarried and quinn stayed with his mom throughout her illness. at one point, when the bills were too high even though he was working part-time at the pizzeria, he convinced his mom to let him go off his meds and join a sports team at school instead. it was to ease the financial strain off them, and it only helped a little bit.

quinn joined track and kept going to therapy. his mom had ups and downs but mostly downs, since medication would stop working after a while until they realized that they were only temporarily treating her cancer but they wouldn’t be able to cure it. it gave them time to prepare for her death, so they did.

his mom taught him what she could about living independently from her before she passed away, though quinn doesn’t think that any amount of preparation could prepare him for the grief that came.

he moved out of his childhood home and into his dads place with his new family, a stepmom and two stepsiblings. he lived in the basement, which was his choice, and quit his job at the pizzeria to focus on school and track full-time like he’d promised his mom. his dad has always been high-key homophobic so at some point in high school quinn dated the first girl who said yes because he was having doubts about his sexuality and he was afraid of it.

after graduating high school, quinn decided to pick up his old job again during the summer between graduation and his new year at sedona’s community college and he’s been working there ever since. he tries to ask his dad for as little as possible since he’s already paying for his tuitions. quinn wants to build a career in biochemical engineering, so he’s studying biology and hopes to transfer to the nearest university where they offer that degree even if it’s post-graduate.

he broke up with his girlfriend after graduating high-school and honestly his dad’s going to be homophobic no matter what so forcing himself into a relationship he didn’t want was just toxic for both parties involved and he’d never do it again, especially because he let it go on for so long.

and that’s it for this part ! his biography has everything much more coherently laid out but tbh it’s kinda long so !!

H E A D C A N O N S :

quinn is really enthusiastic about pokemon so if ur thinking of a gift, u can’t go wrong with anything related to it. it’s been his favorite show and video games since he was a child so there’s a lot of nostalgia tied to it.

quinn has a ton of game apps on his phone and he rarely uses social media. whenever he’s bored and sitting around, he prefers playing a game rather than scrolling through a feed. he also carried around his nintendos... the nintendo console depends on which game he’s playing but he’s often seen with the 3ds or switch.

whenever someone interrupts him, whether it’s mid-sentence, mid-homework, mid-whatever-task, they’ll always get his ‘oh shit’ face because he knows it’ll be hard to focus on whatever he was doing again. if his thoughts or sentences are interrupted, he 100% won’t pick up where he left off unless someone reminds him.

quinn’s often seen with headphones on because he prefers to listen to books since reading is a whole ass task that requires a lot of focus that he doesn’t have and dyslexia absolutely makes things worse. when texting, auto-complete is his savior.

quinn has loved dinosaurs ever since he read jane yolen’s children's books in primary school. if it has a dinosaur on it, he’ll buy it.

he hates the way alcohol tastes but he thinks that drinking is cool so he won’t tell anyone about it. he honestly doesn’t even drink to get drunk because he’s a good boy but if holding a beer makes him look like he fits in, he’s going to hold a beer.

quinn... tries to fit in. he’s friendly by nature but he doesn’t think that’s enough. it might have to do with the comments his dad used to make about homosexuality that made him feel like he has to fit a certain mold or else he won’t be accepted by others.

he’s known he was gay since high-school but he has only really dated a girl. he’s afraid of being intimate with a boy because he knows that’s what he wants but he has been suppressing that part of himself and thinks that he still needs to suppress it because of his dad.

the reason he got re-hired at the pizzeria is that the owner has a quinn-shaped soft spot, not because he’s good at the job. quinn has the tendency to be late on deliveries and anyone who tries to get free pizzas will get mouthfuls from him about how it’ll come out of his paycheck and please please please just pay for this pizza i swear i won’t be late next time.... but guess what ? he’s late next time.

anddddd i think i’ll leave it at that !! i’m hella excited to plot with everyone so check out his wanted connections list n i’m sure we can work something out !!!!!!!!!

#i.

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jigsaw-massacre · 4 years

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How Pigeon Proofing Helps

Pigeon Behaviours

Pigeons favour grains for food as well as individuals will generally feed pigeons inadvertently by spilling food or it in open trash containers. Pigeons roost in locations above ground and will readily nest in steeples, as well as voids on outdoors locations of structures and also other secured areas.

Although pigeons themselves are safe, they can cause a fair bit of damage to your building, vehicle, as well as may potentially introduce disease-bearing mites or ticks right into your residence.

What draws in pigeons to buildings to begin with?

Our partnership with pigeons is a long as well as varied one. This fearlessness is what offers them the self-confidence to nest in, or around our houses.

Threats from Pigeons

Pigeons are unclean birds, causing disease and also damage. Their droppings are known for setting off human drops and slides, in addition to accelerating the ageing of structures as well as sculptures. This makes it critical to eliminate pigeons in highly trafficked areas. A lot more seriously, pigeons may lug illness such as cryptococcosis, toxoplasmosis, salmonella, food poisoning, and a lot more. Their droppings may harbour the growth of fungi, which triggers histoplasmosis. Various other insects may reside on these birds, consisting of fleas, lice, termites, ticks, and also various other parasites. Insects may also infest nests such as stored item pests.

If you find pigeons roosting on your residential or commercial property, contact a professional right away to review a proper training course of pigeon control.

Like many pests, pigeons seek risk-free areas near a secure food resource that enable them to nest. Once such a location is found, several much more nests will quickly do the same since pigeons often tend to reside in flocks. Fortunately, pigeon nests are not typically hidden as they have couple of all-natural killers.

Pigeon Environment

Pigeons are reliant on human beings to supply them with food, roosting and nesting websites. They are generally located around agricultural locations along with stockrooms, feed mills, as well as grain elevators. They are additionally generally discovered in cities around parks, structures, bridges, as well as any other structures.

When it comes to food, these feathered dinosaur offspring are not picky in the slightest. They are simply as happy to dine on exposed scrap as they are on seeds from bird feeders or veggie yards. This nutritional versatility is among the reasons that these birds are so difficult to hinder.

In this short article, we will talk about some of the very best means to keep pigeons away from your house to ensure that you do not end up being embeded a continuous loop of cleaning pigeon poop.

How to Maintain Pigeons Far From My House

Pigeons, these winged rats, possibly rather entertaining from time to time, however they can rapidly become a menace when they select your home as the excellent nesting ground.

Pigeon Avoidance

To prevent or get rid of pigeons, homeowners require to make roosting as well as nesting locations unwelcoming. For appropriate pigeon control, fill in accessibility to voids, slope resting locations, and also stop touchdown by utilising devices.

Threats as well as property damage pertaining to pigeons

Diseases - As you'll check out below, pigeons aren't the cleanest of birds. They transmit a host of parasites and also illness with droppings, and dust which goes right into structures with air ducts. Some illness spread out by pigeons are E.coli, Histoplasmosis, Psittacosis, Cryptococcosis as well as extra.

Droppings - Apart from being air-borne bloodsucker carriers, pigeons leave an absurd amount of droppings, which are incredibly corrosive. The faeces are highly-acidic, tarnish the surface areas they're on and also can also enhance the speed of wear and tear of a structure. The birds won't save your car or the brand-new awning you have actually simply set up, they'll foul whatever around. Their poop is also extremely sturdy once it dries and also it's made use of to reinforce nest construction to make it last throughout winter.

Particles - Pigeons are fairly the manufacturer of plumes as well as they spread nesting product throughout your residential property. The mess builds up promptly and also is changed practically as quickly as you have completed cleansing it. It may clog rain gutters, eaves, and air vents causing water accumulation.

Other bugs - Besides conditions, pigeons efficiently transmit a variety of vermin varieties such as ticks, bed bugs, lice, and bird termites. And also if the birds leave the nest, the pests might still remain as well as torment you. Sound - Everyone that's ever before had pigeons around for longer will agree that their cooing isn't as almost as romantic as flicks depict it to be, particularly on a Saturday morning.

Hassle to garden enthusiasts - The pigeon will not wait to strike crops, damages plants and also create in search for food. It will likewise frighten birds and also various other wildlife from feeders.

What can you do if you don't want these entertaining, yet filthy birds to call your residential property house?

Seal the attic. Either seal them totally or mount a steel cable mesh if there are any type of openings large enough for a pigeon to squeeze through. Pigeons are fairly well recognised for obstructing smoke-shafts with their nests. A bird can even obtain trapped as well as pass away inside the smoke-shaft. Surround nesting locations with mesh or netting. This is recommended if you have an a/c device as pigeons like to develop nests on the trays under the system.

Hire professionals. Call the professionals if all else stops working. The professionals at Fantastic Pest Control have the experience and also expertise to humanely get rid of nesting pigeons from your house.

How to deter pigeons from your yard

While pigeons are not a typical garden pest, they are greater than capable of removing your yard bare of young plants as well as fruit. You will certainly require to establish up a series of bird deterrents if you want to be able to delight in the fruits of your horticulture labour.

This will just function as a deterrent if you can capture the feathery intruders prior to they start developing nests. You can buy an automatic water jet which will certainly protect the border from the pesky birds:

- Install a scarecrow. There are several kinds of bird-scaring decoys available, but the most effective often tend to be those with the shape of a hawk as well as the ones that make and also move sound. You will certainly require to change the decoy's setting on a regular basis though, or else, the pigeons will identify that there is no genuine risk and also may also mockingly perch on top of it. - Use reflective surfaces. This is an old gardeners' technique to discourage birds. A lot of us have actually seen this being used. For instance, it is usual to see yards embellished with CDs or other shiny surfaces. The reflective surfaces develop a prism impact that, when based on sunlight, can briefly influence the pigeons' vision and also make your garden a location that birds bypass. - Safeguard sheds. Think about mounting bird netting to secure your shed or various other garden constructions from undesirable site visitors. The netting is an excellent way to protect any kind of yard structure while not damaging the birds. - When it comes to sharing, pigeons are known as the type that doesn't. As soon as you equip your bird feeders, the "bully bird" will get here without delay, frightening off the smaller birds and also stealing as much food as they can fit in their beaks.

Natural remedy to eliminate pigeons - do they work?

Along with the techniques over, there are a couple of natural home remedy for getting rid of pigeons. Bear in mind, they might not be excessively effective on their very own, however, when used together with the techniques above, the pigeons will rapidly recognise that they are not welcome, specifically if there is a handful of birds.

Honey service. This may seem weird considering we previously said not to supply a food resource yet birds do not such as landing on sticky surfaces. Spreading out some honey on roof steps or porch can help to keep them away. Simply bear in mind that the honey might attract various other unwanted visitors, such as wasps, ants, and also flies.

Strong flavours. Pigeons do not like strong spices, such as black pepper, chilli, or cinnamon. Make spice bags or spread out a generous amount of these spices around preferred pigeon nesting areas to maintain them away. However, you will need to replace the flavours on a routine basis for them to remain effective.

Family pets. Pigeons are not the greatest fans of pet dogs and they dislike pet cats a lot more. Having a pet in your home to prowl around can considerably discourage the feathery close friends.

Netting. Bird nets are just one of the most humane bird deterrents readily available. As soon as the pigeons identify that they obtain trapped every single time they see your residence, they will promptly seek a brand-new residence. The major downside of this approach is that you must examine the internet on a regular basis and also release any type of captured pigeons.

Phony predators. This technique is really comparable to installing a pigeon scare. Buying a life-size plastic owl or serpent and putting it on your porch, roof covering, patio area, or deck can make the pigeons reconsider the touchdown. If the plaything is automated and also actions, you get reward points.

The Rice Misconception: There's a misconception that feeding rice to pigeons will eliminate them when it begins expanding in their tummies. The truth is, as soon as the rice begins increasing the size of, the bird will just spew it out and stroll away unscathed.

Just how to maintain pigeons far from my house

As briefly pointed out over, pigeons are extremely adaptable, rather intelligent and are courageous in the face of humans. These characteristics combine to make pigeons a challenging pest to prevent. In order to maintain the parasite-laden satanic force spawn away, it is best to use multiple pigeon countermeasures.

The most effective place to start on your quest to rid on your own of your feathery housemates is to evaluate the outside of your home as well as make nesting areas as unwelcoming as feasible.

Make roosting areas uninviting

Set up anti-roosting spike strips. Select strategical places such as home window sills and ledges to hinder pigeons from landing.

Connect a string across roosting areas. Strings tied one inch above the nesting locations will certainly make landing uncomfortable for pigeons.

Install sloping covers to window sills and also steps. If there are no level surfaces to stabilise and also develop nests on, the pigeons will certainly proceed to discover one more area to call home.

Don't feed them. Like most pets, if you feed pigeons, they will certainly maintain coming back as well as the abundance of food will additionally bring in others. It is a little-known truth that pigeons are prolific gossipers.

Do away with various other food sources. Equally as with actively feeding them, any type of readily available food source will have them group into your home. See to it that all trash is correctly sealed and positioned in a bin with the lid shut. Inspect the garden prevention pointers listed below if you have a vegetable garden.

Seal all feasible access factors

While checking the outside of your house for potential nesting areas, pay certain attention to your eaves and attic room. Sealing the openings a pigeon might utilise is a very effective exclusion tactic.

Just how to eliminate pigeons however not other birds.

Occasionally, in an effort to get rid of the fouling pigeons, you can wind up pushing back advantageous birds and also various other wildlife and damage your pet dogs. Here are the approaches that can do hurt along with accomplishing your goal of hindering pigeons:

Pigeons are unclean birds, creating disease and also damage. Diseases - As you'll read below, pigeons aren't the cleanest of birds. The reflective surface areas produce a prism effect that, when subjected to sunlight, can momentarily affect the pigeons' vision as well as make your garden a location that birds bypass.

When it comes to sharing, pigeons are known as the kind that does not. Gel-repellents - the sticky film these gels produce, prevent pigeons from setting down on top of your roofing, so the pigeons will really feel encouraged to pick another spot.

Exactly how do specialists remove pigeons?

If you have actually attempted every one of the formerly stated approaches fruitless and also go to your wit's end, it is time to call the specialists.

Ultrasonic gadgets - the sonic modern technology sends acoustic waves that puzzle pigeons and make them want to fly far from the area. Due to the fact that it drives birds off of plants, it's commonly used in agriculture. Nonetheless, the device is brand-new to the bigger public which makes it difficult to discover. The device is additionally a momentary remedy to the trouble-- when you turn it off, nothing stops the birds from returning. Some sound devices can additionally harm various other birds, felines, and canines.

Gel-repellents - the sticky film these gels produce, stop pigeons from perching on top of your roofing, so the pigeons will really feel urged to select an additional area. Make certain to select up an environmentally-friendly product that isn't a polybutylene gel because it can obtain stuck on the birds' feathers, preventing it to fly.

Total Bird Control Birmingham

TBC Nationwide Office, Highfield Farm, Middle Ln, King's Norton, Birmingham B38 0DX, United Kingdom +44 121 695 9076

#pest proofing #united kingdom #pigeon proofing #pigeon #get rid of pigeons

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asterroc · 4 years

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...Absence...

So I haven’t been queuing up much here b/c I was stressed out earlier this semester, and I was already falling behind on grading, and then...

Content Warning: medical procedures, heart surgery, stroke. No death.

Mind the read more...

My father learned earlier this year that he’d need an aortic valve replacement within 6-12 months. He was told it could likely be arthroscopic (snake a tube up a vein from his leg), and he’d likely be in the ICU for 3-8 days, then could go home (or possibly to a rehab center if the elevator was out in my parents’ apartment building). He was also told he wouldn’t be allowed to drive for 6 months after the surgery, but he bought a new car anyway.

In late September / early October, he had an echo and it confirmed that he’d not only need the aortic valve replacement, but also a triple bypass (CABG). He was told that open heart surgery was the gold standard, but they could possibly do arthroscopic depending on availability. They said he should do it in 2-3 months.

Weds Oct 16 my father walked into an ER (after arriving by Lyft/Uber) concerned that he was experiencing chest pains. It turned out to be just heartburn, but his future surgeon saw him and said based on his condition he was a ticking time bomb, so it’s best to just get it over with.

Thurs Oct 17 he had the open heart surgery with the triple bypass and aortic valve replacement. The surgery was a complete success, and this remains true for the heart surgery aspects, even in the wake of what’s happened since.

The morning of Fri Oct 18, the ICU realized my father had had a stroke.

This is apparently a relatively common complication of heart surgery, but not one we were anticipating -- I didn’t have the time to do the research to prepare myself for this possible outcome. Not that anyone can really prepare for this. The doctors don’t know whether the stroke was from some plaque knocking loose from the walls of his arteries during the surgery and then traveling up to his brain, or if the arteries to his brain were already somewhat constricted due to his plaque buildup everywhere and the lower blood pressure (provided by the machine he was hooked up to during the surgery to keep blood circulating) wasn’t enough to for the blood to freely travel through those blocked arteries to his brain.

For the next 27 days he remained in the ICU, I drove 4 hours each way for four weekends in a row to visit, and my mother visited him daily (including paying around $14/visit for parking). His state was up and down, including extubating him and reintubating him then extubating him again, us debating whether to give permission to switch his NGT (nasal feeding tube) to a PEG (cut a hole in the side of his stomach and abdomen), and hit-or-miss whether we could understand what he said, or whether he was even awake enough to talk.

November 13 he was moved to a rehab center / nursing home, and I have only visited Thanksgiving week since. This has actually been a huge improvement for him. He’s now staying awake longer and rarely falls asleep while we visit. We can actually hold conversations with him, and he’s back to telling us long stories. He’s not talking as well as usual, but we can understand most of what he says. He’s still not mobile yet, but my mother’s seen him using a walker with supervision from a PT once.

His progress is not unalloyed good news though, the main catch is he’s somewhat... I don’t know if delusional is the right word, but he definitely has a number of false memories, mostly about things after his surgery/the stroke. For example when I talked with him on the day before Thanksgiving, Nov 27, when he was in a hospital in Queens to get his PEG replaced (he’d been transported there by ambulance on Nov 25), he was convinced that he had actually walked into the hospital the day before (Nov 26) because he had been having difficulty walking. He was also convinced he was in the hospital in Manhattan (which actually was the other one he was considering for the surgery, but we’re glad he didn’t choose based on ease of getting there). Then after he was transported by ambulance back to the rehab center / nursing home on Thanksgiving (Nov 28), he told us that he was a movie actor and he was worried that the EMTs would realize he was a faker, then that the EMTs were the actors and he was a patient.

He’s also got this persistent idea that something medical among everything has changed who he is, and therefore that he’s “adopted” his new self as an adult.

I mean, he’s not wrong...

My mother continues to visit him daily (the rehab center / nursing home is thankfully easier for her to get to, and only costs a couple dollars in quarters for the parking meters). On the emotional side of things she’s having a rough time of it, and she can’t stand to see the nurses feeding him with the PEG. It’s an understandable reaction, but he may go home with it, and he may not mentally be in a place where he can do it himself, so... On the practical side she’s doing quite well actually. The elevator is in fact under construction, for 8-10 weeks, and she’s been using walking up and down the stairs to their (her?) 6th floor apartment. She’s getting the maintenance guys to help her carry heavy things up as needed. She’s doing her normal routine of teaching and shopping and squeezes in seeing my dad every day still.

I like Dad’s new car, I’ve been driving it when I visit. It’s not a good car for my lifestyle though, so when he tried to offer it to me I turned it down.

I’m coping. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ I’m glad I already had a therapist. I’ve got a good support network. I’m doing as okay as I can with a horrible situation.

I would accept cards or postcards sent to me or my father -- not like “condolence” cards, but more like upbeat “you’ll get through this” type messages, or distractions and cute monotremes or birds or dinosaurs. Message me for my address.

#gpoml #long post

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hymn2000 · 5 years

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Chiquitita - MCU AU fanfic - C21

Story summary: Something strange is happening. Someone from space has made their way to Earth, armed with a strange weapon. Targeting teenagers, their ray gun, when fired, turns the victim into a toddler. The Avengers set out to stop this, and find a way to reverse the effects. However, they don’t all come out of the battle unscathed.

Previous chapters: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20

Part of my Frostiron and Spiderson series.

Warnings/themes: de-aging, family stuff, corporal punishment (early chapters only), mental health stuff, hurt/comfort, hospital/medical stuff

Chapter 21 - So You’re Blue

“For gods sake, Peter! Why do you have to be so flippin’ loud?!”

“I’m hungry!” Peter howled, tears streaming down his cheeks. “My tummy hurts!”

“Yeah, well, you can see I’m trying to make you something, but I can’t get on very well with you screaming like that!” Tony hissed. “Put a sock in it!”

Peter continued to shout and squeak. Tony put down the butter knife, trying to breathe evenly. He tried to stay calm, but it wasn’t easy. His heart was thudding, and Peter just seemed to be getting louder.

“Peter! Would you please just SHUT UP!” Tony shouted, grabbing the boy by the shoulders. “Shut up! You’re doing my head in!”

Peter went quiet in shock for a moment, and then started shrieking even louder than before. Tony stepped back, shaking, his hand twitching. He couldn’t do this. Why couldn’t the kid just shut up for five minutes? This was too much. He just-

The front door opened. Tony rushed down to the foyer, going so fast he couldn’t avoid banging straight into Loki.

“I didn’t know you were gonna be back this early” Tony said shakily, leaning on his chest.

“I’m sorry; I didn’t think to mention it” Loki looked at him, touching his face gently. “Are you ok? What’s up with Peter? I can hear him squeaking”

“C-can you go and sort him out? I can’t, I just- I can’t, I need some air. I’m going for a walk” he pushed past Loki, opening the front door.

“Tony! You’re not wearing any shoes”

“I’m a celebrity; it doesn’t matter” he said, closing the door behind him.

Loki sighed, slinging his work bag over the banister and heading upstairs to the kitchen.

“Hello, you” he said, picking Peter up and giving him a cuddle. “Shh, it’s ok! What’s the matter?”

Peter was crying too hard to reply. Loki looked round the kitchen, spotting the sandwich Tony had started making.

“It’s a bit late for lunch, isn’t it, sweetie?” he sighed, putting Peter back in his seat at the breakfast bar. “Hold on just a minute, my love”

Peter calmed down as soon as Loki put the plate down in front of him. He was still shaking a little as he started to eat, but he wasn’t really crying any more. Loki breathed out, relieved. He filled one of Peter’s sippy cups with juice, and set it down beside his plate.

“There we are, darling. Good boy...”

Tony seemed a bit calmer when he got back an hour later.

“Have you really just gone on an hours walk without any shoes?”

“Well, I spent half an hour sat having a coffee, so”

“Right”

“Where’s the kid?”

“He’s in the living room” Loki said. “Are you going to join us?”

Tony nodded and followed him. Peter was sat on the floor playing with his plastic dinosaurs and train set. Tony sat down heavily on the sofa, flopping against Loki when he sat beside him. Loki put an arm round his shoulders, holding him close.

“You’re still in your scrubs”

“Yes, well, I haven’t had time to leave Peter since getting back, and Jo Jo spilt coffee all over my civvies at the end of the shift”

“What? How did he manage that?”

“He’s an idiot, that’s how” Loki said. “He said he was sorry, but I still smacked him over the head with a clipboard”

Tony laughed slightly. “Ouch. Poor Jo Jo”

“Poor me, who now has to wash coffee stains out of my clothes” Loki said. “Jo Jo said he’ll bring me some stuff for my locker as an apology on my next shift, so as least I get something out of his mistake”

“I should hope so, too... It’s half four”

“Yes”

“I should start thinking about tea”

“I can cook tonight, if you like”

Tony stayed quiet.

“Tony? What’s the matter?”

“I’m just sad”

Loki held him tighter and kissed the top of his head. “Do you want to talk about it?”

“...I want my son back”

“Oh, Tony” Loki sighed. “Please don’t start that again. We’ve been through this”

“I’m fed up. It’s been too long”

“There’s nothing we can do about that: we just have to wait. You know that”

Tony watched Peter. The toddler was too involved in his game to pay any attention to his parents. He’d abandoned the train set and was playing solely with his dinosaurs, making them talk to each other is funny little voices.

“Remember that first Christmas after the adoption, when he kept playing with your nativity and getting into trouble for it?”

“That nativity cost a fortune” Loki said. “I kept telling him it wasn’t a toy”

“It was so cute though; walking into the room and finding him knelt by that table playing a proper little game”

Loki didn’t say anything. He didn’t see what Tony was getting at.

“...Pepper’s coming round tonight”

“What? Tony, why didn’t you say earlier?”

Tony shrugged. “What do you want for tea?”

Loki sighed heavily and stood up. “I don’t know. I’m going to go and get changed. You can decide”

“Wait, Loki-”

"What?”

“Should I wait until Pepper gets here?”

“Oh Tony, I don’t know” Loki sighed. “What time is she coming?”

“She said she’d get here at six”

“Well, cook so it’s ready for six then”

“Ok. Um, how long are you gonna be?”

“Tony, for gods sake” Loki scowled. “I’m going for a bath”

“You said you were getting changed!”

“Am I not allowed a bath now?”

“I just think that-”

“Daddy, daddy!” Peter clamoured, grabbing at Loki’s trouser leg.

Loki looked down at him. “What’s up, darling?”

“Where’s my rocket?”

“I don’t know, darling” Loki said. “Ask other daddy”

Tony found Peter’s rocket, and the boy settled quite happily, which was a huge relief for Tony, who didn’t especially want to be around him at the moment. Loki seemed to be taking his time in the bath, and Tony got impatient. After a while, he stood up, accidentally treading on Peter’s rocket as he did so.

“HEY!”

“Oi, don’t shout at me!” Tony snapped.

“You stood on my rocket!”

“It was an accident, idiot”

Peter looked at him, mouth open. “Daddy said it’s rude to call people that word”

“Don’t try to preach to me”

“Where are you going?”

“What do you mean; where am I going?”

“You’re up”

Tony sighed heavily, picking him up. “You’re coming too”

Loki lowered his crossword book and scowled when someone knocked on the door. He glared at Tony as he came into the bathroom.

“What?”

“How long are you going to be?”

“I don’t know”

“Well, I need your help with the kid”

Loki looked at Peter. “He seems fine to me. Go away”

“What, so you’re gonna spend all night in the bath?”

“It’s been twenty minutes, Tony! Can I not have a few minutes to myself at the end of a long day?”

“Well, I’ve gotta cook, so you need to look after the kid”

“You’re perfectly capable of doing both. It’s not like you’ve never done it before. Leave me alone”

“Loki, please” Tony said. “I need a hand”

“And I need some peace and quiet. You’re fine” he said, going back to his crossword.

Tony snatched the book from him. “Loki”

“For fucks sake, Tony!”

Peter blinked. “Is that a bad word?”

“Yes, and I’m a very naughty daddy” Loki said, snatching his book back from Tony. “Now leave me alone”

Tony scowled, put Peter down, and stalked off.

“Tony! Oi, Tony!” Loki sighed irritably.

Peter stood on the bathroom mat, unsure what to do. He looked at Loki.

“Follow daddy” Loki said.

Peter nodded and rushed off. Loki breathed out, reaching over and closing and locking the bathroom door. At least Peter was being reasonable. Maybe, if he was lucky, he’d be able to finish his bath in peace.

Tony looked down at Peter.

“What are you doing?”

“I’m following!” Peter grinned.

“Right. Well, stay out of the way of the oven” Tony said.

Peter nodded. He turned and started jumping between the kitchen tiles, clutching his rocket in his arms and humming to himself. Tony checked the time, and sighed. He should probably start cooking. Pepper would be here within the hour.

Tony burst into tears as soon as he saw Pepper.

“Tony? Hey, what’s the matter?”

“I can’t do this-!”

“Hey” Pepper held him close, kicking the front door closed behind her. “It’s ok. Whatever it is, we can sort it”

Tony was uncharacteristically quiet at dinner. Loki and Pepper kept up their ends of the conversation, and Peter tried to join in, although he didn’t always understand what they were talking about. Still, Pepper made a fuss of him, and Loki let him have a little bit of fizzy orange in his sippy cup, which he thoroughly enjoyed.

Peter started yawning and whining after tea, rubbing his eyes and leaning against Loki.

“I don’t suppose he had a nap this afternoon, did he?”

Tony shook his head.

“Well, I think a slightly earlier night is probably a good idea” Loki said. “Come on darling; bedtime”

“But Auntie Pepper’s here!”

“I’ll come and see you again another time” Pepper said. “Be good for your daddy”

Peter yawned, his eyes watering. “Bedtime?”

Pepper nodded. “Bedtime”

Peter looked at Loki.

“Say goodnight, chick”

Peter held his arms out to Pepper, who stood up and lifted him into her arms, giving him a cuddle.

“Goodnight, Peter”

She tried to pass him over to Tony. Tony paused, and then gave Peter a little kiss on the cheek.

“Goodnight, chick”

Loki took Peter from Pepper, kissing his cheek.

“Come on, baby. Sleepy time”

Pepper leant back against the counter, watching Tony finishing the washing up.

“You’re trying to avoid talking, aren’t you?”

“I’m just washing up”

“Only so you don’t have to look at me”

Tony sighed, draining the sink and drying his hands.

“We’ll go down to the lab. It’s more private down there”

Pepper held Tony’s hand while he cried. When he eventually started to quieten, she put an arm round his shoulders, and he rested his head on her chest.

“...I thought I was doing ok” he said thickly. “But after today, I’ve realised that I’m not”

“You just had an off day” Pepper said. “That’s all. You’ve done great so far”

“I forgot to feed him, Pep! How the hell do I forget something like that?!”

“You forget to feed yourself plenty” Pepper said.

“Yeah, but that’s different! I’m supposed to look after that little kid! I’m such an idiot. I can’t believe I forgot to feed him! No wonder he got upset”

“You’re not the first person to forget something like that. In fact, it’s not even the first time you’ve forgotten it”

Tony looked at her. “What do you mean?”

“Remember that time Peter didn’t have time to have breakfast, and you brought him along for a full event day and conference, he didn’t have lunch, and by the time you got to the final presentation of the day, he was so hungry that he was sick?”

Tony stopped. He’d completely forgotten about it. Poor Peter. He’d been so good all day that day, not uttering a single complaint. He didn’t try to bring Tony’s attention to his hunger as he didn’t want to get in the way, or spoil or interrupt anything. He lasted quite well, considering, but just before they’d gone in for the final presentation at 8pm, he’d suddenly starting coughing, and then he’d thrown up. It soon came to light that he hadn’t eaten, and Tony had been absolutely horrified.

“You felt awful” Pepper said. “But it was just a mistake. You’ve made mistakes before, and you’ll make them in the future. Don’t they say that that’s a big part of being a parent?”

“It doesn’t make it any easier”

“Tony, listen. You’re doing well. You’re a good dad, no matter how you look at it”

“I want my little boy back”

“You’ve still got your little boy” Pepper said. “We’ve talked about this. Your son hasn’t gone away: he’s just turned into a toddler. It’s weird, but it’s not like it’s forever”

“It feels like it is” Tony said. “I really thought it was only gonna be a couple of weeks. Thor doesn’t even keep in touch properly. When I see him, I ask where they are with the reversal gun, and he always just says; ‘no real progress’. How long is this gonna go on for? Another six weeks? Six months? Longer? I don’t know how I’m supposed to do this. It just keeps going wrong. It’s like one minute everything’s going great and I’m like, this is fine, this is gonna be fine and I can do this, but then the next minute it’s a total nightmare and everything is hard and horrible and scary I can’t do it... I miss my teenage son so much-!”

Pepper held him tighter, resting a hand on his face. “Oh Tony”

“It doesn’t make any sense! I’m sick of this. I never should’ve let Peter get involved that day. I should have kept him well out of the way” he pulled away, looking Pepper in the face. “Why am I like this? Loki is coping so much better than I am. He’s just always doing so much better than me. He’s not all over the place anywhere near as much as I am. He just... He just seems to have adjusted so well to this, whereas I’m just-... It’s so hard”

“He’s just putting on a brave face. This is hard for him too, you know that. You need to talk to him more”

“We have been talking. Just, uh, well... Oh god, my throat’s all seized up. Like, I know what I want to say, but I can’t think of the words, and when I can, they just get caught in my throat”

“Have you talked to anyone else about this? On a professional level?”

“You mean like a therapist?” Tony shook his head. “How is anyone supposed to understand what this is like? This is the most ridiculous, impossible situation, and yet here we are! My son was turned into a toddler. How the hell is anyone supposed to understand that? We’re living it and we don’t understand it. I’m not talking to a therapist about it”

“Then talk to Loki more. No one is going to understand better than him. You should focus on the good days. Like you did last time we talked”

“...I miss talking to him”

“Loki?”

“Peter”

“You still talk to little Peter though, don’t you?”

“Yeah, but it’s not the same” Tony sighed, scrubbing his eyes with his fist. “Little Peter is just a baby. He talks about different things. Mainly his little games and just his version of life. He’s cute, and he’s funny, but it’s different... He can’t really come to me with his problems, because he doesn’t really have any”

“That’s a good thing, surely? He’s a happy toddler”

“I know. But I miss my baby. We always spent so much time together, talking and stuff. He was always crawling onto my lap to talk to me when he was upset or whatever. I miss having those long nights cuddled up talking to him, all those deep conversations and those times we laughed so much our stomach hurts” Tony laughed slightly. “Did I ever tell you about the time I made him laugh so hard he was sick out of his nose?”

Pepper smiled slightly. “Yes, you told me about that. You two are so ridiculously similar. You make me laugh, the way you interact and the things you say. He’s far sweeter than you, though”

“Only when he wants to be” Tony took his phone out to check the time, and stopped, looking at his lock screen. He titled it towards Pepper. “Look”

Pepper smiled slightly. Sadly. “Loki’s changed his lock screen...”

“I know. I thought I should too, so I don’t keep getting reminded, but I just couldn’t do it. I've had this picture as my lock screen for so long. It’d be weird having anything else”

“It’s an old picture” Pepper said. “It’s from when you went on holiday the year you and Loki got engaged, isn’t it?”

Tony nodded. “He was so excited for that entire trip. Well, he had a few little sulky moods, but generally... We had such a good time. He was so funny...” he paused, looking at the photo. “I don’t think he’ll ever be as sunny and bright and bubbly as he was back then. But sometimes he gets real close”

“He’s come a long way since the explosion”

“Yeah, he’s done so well, despite everything”

“I remember the first time I saw him after the accident” Pepper said. “He was just lying there. He had cuts all over his face, and he was so pale. His eyes wouldn’t focus on me”

“He was miles away for a pretty long time. It was like... His body was there, but his mind just wasn’t. He couldn’t take care of himself... You know, sometimes me and Loki talk about the way he was back then, and it just feels really odd to think about, because even though we know it happened, it feels like it didn’t. Do you know what I mean?”

“Do you mean it feels strange to think about because you’ve come so far, that it’s hard to believe how bad things got?”

Tony nodded. “You’re better at articulating my thoughts than I am”

“You’ll get him back”

Tony looked down, and swallowed. “I hope so”

“You will” Pepper said, holding him close. “You just have to hang on a little while longer”

#my writing #fanfiction #mcu fanfiction #marvel fanfiction #frostiron #irondad and spiderson

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