#Do You Like Hitchcock?

[vintage1981]

Beware of Dario Argento: A 20-Film Retrospective at Film at Lincoln Center | June 17 - 29, 2022

Film at Lincoln Center and Cinecittà present Beware of Dario Argento: A 20-Film Retrospective, a retrospective of the iconic Italian horror director’s influential feature films, 17 of them premiering in brand-new 4K restorations, with the director in person for select screenings. Presented in collaboration with Italian Cultural Institute.

Tickets now on sale!

See Dario Argento in person for Q&As at The Bird with the Crystal Plumage (6/17), Deep Red (6/18), and Phenomena (6/19), and introductions at Tenebrae (6/17), Suspiria (6/18), and Dark Glasses (6/19).

Ever since his heart-stopping directorial debut in 1970, Dario Argento has been redrawing the boundaries of cinematic horror with flamboyant violence, feverish plotting, and deliriously stylized compositions. Initially associated with giallo, the pulpy Italian subgenre he helped formalize and would later take to unprecedented heights with his international breakthrough, Deep Red (1975), Argento embraces a gamut of fantastical influences—from sublime Gothic art and penny dreadfuls to Murnau, Hitchcock, and Disney—with his distinctively baroque style of disorientating cinematography, stained-glass colorwork, and elaborate musical scores (often composed by his own rotating house group, Goblin).

The retrospective will pay homage to Argento’s singular voice in horror cinema, from his seminal debut feature The Bird with the Crystal Plumage, widely regarded with popularizing gialli internationally, and other unforgettable contributions to the subgenre including: Deep Red, Tenebrae, and Opera; to his masterful paranormal-tinged Phenomena, and supernatural “Three Mothers Trilogy”: the wildly influential Suspiria, 35mm screenings of Inferno, and Mother of Tears; to underscreened gems like Trauma, The Stendhal Syndrome, The Black Cat, and Dracula 3D, as well as his made-for-television feature Do You Like Hitchcock?. The lineup also will host the North American Premiere of Dark Glasses, his first film in 10 years.

Organized by Madeline Whittle and Tyler Wilson of Film at Lincoln Center, and by Camilla Cormanni, Paola Ruggiero, and Marco Cicala of Cinecittà. Co-produced by Cinecittà, Rome. Presented in collaboration with the Italian Cultural Institute.

Sponsored by:

World Premiere of New Restoration

The Bird with the Crystal Plumage / L’uccello dalle piume di cristallo

Dario Argento

, Italy/West Germany, 1970, 96m

Italian with English subtitles

For his seminal directorial debut, Argento took Fredric Brown’s 1949 novel “The Screaming Mimi” and transformed it into a horror-inflected whodunit of voyeuristic delirium. Sam (Tony Musante), an American writer living in Rome, witnesses a vicious knife attack on a beautiful woman (Eva Renzi) inside an art gallery. After the police fail to make any progress in the case—and confiscate his passport, preventing him from leaving the country—Sam becomes obsessed with uncovering the black-leather-gloved assailant’s identity. Featuring one of Ennio Morricone’s most distinct scores, “The Bird with the Crystal Plumage” marked the emergence of a singular artistic sensibility, and anticipated the extreme directions taken by Argento in his subsequent films: the director’s signature foregrounding of vivid cinematic techniques—from dizzying POV sequences to gory slo-mo—are on display here, fully formed and boldly provocative. 4K digital restoration by Cinecittà.

Friday, June 17 at 6:00pm (Q&A with Dario Argento) Sunday, June 26 at 1:15pm

World Premiere of New Restoration

The Cat o’ Nine Tails / Il gatto a nove code

Dario Argento

, Italy/France/West Germany, 1971, 112m

English and Italian with English subtitles

Argento chased “The Bird with the Crystal Plumage”’s box-office success with his most accessible giallo thriller, a hybrid mystery/buddy movie that pairs Karl Malden’s blind cruciverbalist with James Franciscus’s intrigued reporter. Here Argento experiments with his chosen genre’s procedural-style fetishism: the movie’s title refers to the number of leads that will ultimately steer the amateur sleuths to a mysterious serial killer. Argento constructs the film’s mystery within the framework of a crossword puzzle whose clues slyly allude to seeing, sightlessness, and how the limits of our perception obscure the truth. The movie’s eruptive and still-shocking violence fosters a nightmarish tension throughout, and perfectly complements Ennio Morricone’s alternately slinky and discordant avant-jazz score. 4K digital restoration by Cinecittà.

Saturday, June 18 at 1:15pm Sunday, June 26 at 3:30pm

Four Flies on Grey Velvet / 4 mosche di velluto grigio

Dario Argento

, Italy/France, 1971, 104m

Italian with English subtitles

A confluence of near-misses and eerie coincidences transforms the past into a prophetic conspiracy in Four Flies on Grey Velvet, the final entry in Argento’s “Animal” trilogy of giallo thrillers. Directorial doppelgänger Michael Brandon plays the troubled lead, a prog-rock drummer who is blackmailed by a menacing masked figure for a murder that he may or may not have committed, and enlists the help of a detective (Jean-Pierre Marielle) to identify his blackmailer before it’s too late. Four Flies’s nightmarish set pieces rank among the director’s best, and the movie’s playfully convoluted mystery plot looks forward to Deep Red’s gleeful synthesis of Hitchcockian sadism and Antonioni-inspired alienation. 4K digital restoration by Cineteca di Bologna in collaboration with Surf Film.

Saturday, June 18 at 3:45pm Sunday, June 26 at 6:00pm

World Premiere of New Restoration

The Five Days / Le cinque giornate

Dario Argento

, Italy, 1973, 122m

Italian with English subtitles

Argento took a break from giallo with this broad and bleak farce, a period piece set during Italy’s Revolutions of 1848 and shot near the beginning of its infamous “Years of Lead” (two decades of social and political strife). Popular singer/songwriter Adriano Celentano stars as an unlucky thief who falls into a series of comic misadventures as he and his happy-go-lucky companion (Enzo Cerusico) search for “Liberty” (Glauco Onorato), an ex-brigand–turned–saintlike revolutionary. Inspired by events that were documented in Milanese citizens’ journals, the director’s most overtly political movie warns viewers not to be seduced by nationalistic demagogues and the mobs that serve them. Rarely seen after it bombed at the domestic box office. The Five Days evokes the spaghetti western’s characteristic mix of violence, political ambivalence, and gallows humor. 4K digital restoration by Cinecittà.

Sunday, June 19 at 12:30pm Tuesday, June 28 at 1:00pm

World Premiere of New Restoration

Deep Red / Profondo rosso

Dario Argento

, Italy, 1975, 127m

Italian, German, and Hebrew with English subtitles

Blow-Up’s David Hemmings takes the lead in Argento’s most sophisticated giallo, playing a jazz pianist who struggles to remember a vital piece of evidence after witnessing the murder of Macha Méril’s German psychic. Joined by Argento’s real-life partner Daria Nicolodi in the role of a plucky journalist, Hemmings embarks on a dizzying tour of Rome (with shooting locations in Turin standing in for the capital city) which, through Argento’s roving, suprahuman lens, appears just as haunted and hyper-compartmentalized as the movie’s tortured human protagonists. Ranked among the director’s masterworks, Deep Red is supplemented by Argento’s first score with Italian prog-rock band Goblin and astonishing production design by Giuseppe Bassan. 4K digital restoration by Cinecittà.

Saturday, June 18 at 6:00pm (Q&A with Dario Argento) Wednesday, June 22 at 6:15pm Tuesday, June 28 at 3:45pm

Suspiria

Dario Argento

, Italy, 1977, 92m

English, Italian, Russian, German, and Latin with English subtitles

One of cinema’s most potent hallucinogens, Argento’s witchy freak-out is a sustained spectacle of outrageously stylized violence and eye-popping art direction. When Jessica Harper’s doe-eyed American ballerina arrives in Germany to study at directress Joan Bennett’s renowned dance academy, she stumbles through the looking glass into a maze of mayhem, murder, and maggots. It all takes place in one of film history’s most outlandish haunted houses: a riot of demonic neon lighting, surrealist-baroque décor, and, oh yeah, that barbed-wire room. Add the iconic, eardrum-shattering score by prog-occultists Goblin, and you’ve got the most extravagant slasher movie of all time. 4K digital restoration by Videa.

Saturday, June 18 at 9:00pm (Introduction by Dario Argento) Saturday, June 25 at 6:30pm Wednesday, June 29 at 2:00pm

Inferno

Dario Argento

, Italy, 1980,

35mm

, 106m

Italian and Latin with English subtitles

Despite its nightmarish extension of Suspiria’s adult Technicolor fairy tale, the middle segment of Argento’s “Three Mothers” trilogy was barely released by international distributor 20th Century Fox due to a mid-production regime change. This partly explains why the loosely connected second installment—about a supernatural conspiracy that unites Suspiria’s Freiburg Dance Academy with a cursed Upper West Side apartment building—didn’t get its own sequel until almost 30 years later. Still, Inferno’s Art Nouveau meltdown remains a creative highlight for Argento, given its rapturous expression of Jungian archetypes, brought to life with an operatic score composed by British prog-rocker Keith Emerson, some technical and visual-effects assistance from horror maestro Mario Bava, armloads of domestic cats, and the specter of Death himself.

Monday, June 20 at 6:30pm Saturday, June 25 at 9:00pm

World Premiere of New Restoration

Tenebrae

Dario Argento

, Italy, 1982, 101m

English, Italian and Spanish with English subtitles

A deranged killer reenacts the work of popular mystery novelist Peter Neal (Anthony Franciosa) in this exuberantly perverse giallo thriller, Argento’s macabre riposte to his armchair-psychologist critics. Like The Cat o’ Nine Tails before it, Tenebrae baits the viewer by applying a problem-solving framework to a mystery that is, at heart, about the logic-defying limits of what we can know and see. Made seven years after Deep Red, Argento imagined an ahistorical Rome of the future, where combatively fetishistic murders occur in broad daylight and nobody really talks about the past even as it threatens to destroy everything in its path. Daria Nicolodi and John Saxon co-star, with Goblin contributing an icy disco-synth score. 4K digital restoration by Cinecittà.

Friday, June 17 at 9:00pm (Introduction by Dario Argento) Friday, June 24 at 6:45pm

World Premiere of New Restoration

Phenomena

Dario Argento

, Italy/Switzerland, 1985, 116m

English, Italian, Swiss German, and Danish with English subtitles

As he did in Rome for Tenebrae, Argento manipulated locations in Zürich to produce an uncanny sense of place with Phenomena, a paranormal-tinged giallo set in an alternate ’80s, ostensibly decades after Nazi Germany had won World War II. Jennifer Connelly stars as a sleepwalking, telepathic 14-year-old who, while attending a remote Swiss boarding school named after Richard Wagner, teams up with a forensic entomologist (Donald Pleasence) and his nurse—a trained chimpanzee named Inga—to investigate a string of brutal murders. One of Argento’s finer and stranger films, Phenomena (often cited among his personal favorites) marked a radical departure for the director, who combined the bloodiest trappings of his previous gialli and the supernatural insanity of his “Three Mothers” films into something altogether more outré. 4K digital restoration by Cinecittà.

Sunday, June 19 at 5:30pm (Q&A with Dario Argento) Thursday, June 23 at 6:30pm

World Premiere of New Restoration

Opera

Dario Argento

, Italy, 1987, 107m

English, Italian, and German with English subtitles

Argento’s mid-career masterpiece is a partial reimagining of Gaston Leroux’s classic novel The Phantom of the Opera (which the director would explicitly adapt in 1998), drawing further inspiration from his own abortive experience mounting a stage production of Giuseppe Verdi’s Rigoletto. The film concerns a budding soprano (Cristina Marsillach) who, through the homicidal mediations of a masked stalker, rises to a lead role in an avant-garde staging of Verdi’s Macbeth (whose director, played by Ian Charleson, is a former horror filmmaker). Made shortly after the paranormal-tinged Phenomena, the dizzyingly self-referential Opera took the director’s penchant for provocation to new heights and reaffirmed his knack for staging brutal, operatic violence. 4K digital restoration by Cinecittà.

Sunday, June 19 at 3:00pm Thursday, June 23 at 4:00pm Friday, June 24 at 9:00pm

World Premiere of New Restoration

The Black Cat / Il gatto nero

Dario Argento

, Italy/USA, 1990, 66m

Harvey Keitel stars as an unlovable, Weegee-esque photographer who grows obsessed with a mysterious black cat that keeps wandering into his darkroom. A pastiche of various Edgar Allan Poe short stories, Argento’s contribution to the Two Evil Eyes horror pairing—his first collaboration with George Romero since 1978, when Argento helped Romero to secure funding for Dawn of the Dead—stands apart as an unnerving actor’s showcase for Keitel, whom Argento gave free rein to express what the filmmaker, in an interview with Maitland McDonagh, called “the psychology of someone who commits a crime and believes he can remain silent.” 4K digital restoration by Cinecittà.

Tuesday, June 21 at 4:00pm Wednesday, June 29 at 6:30pm

World Premiere of New Restoration

Trauma

Dario Argento

, Italy, 1993, 106m

This chilly mystery thriller—the first father/daughter collaboration between director Dario and star Asia Argento—follows Aura, an anorexic teenager on the run after her parents’ murder at the hands of a mysterious serial killer, who wields a custom-made motorized garrote. Taking inspiration from his own niece’s experience with an eating disorder, the director—who co-wrote the script with American horror novelist T.E.D. Klein (The Ceremonies)—explores Freudian anxieties of abandonment, and feelings of invisibility in one’s own body and environment. Trauma features music by frequent De Palma composer Pino Donaggio, a supporting cast that includes Brad Dourif and Piper Laurie, and one of Argento’s best (and most grisly) twist endings. 4K digital restoration by Cinecittà.

Monday, June 20 at 4:15pm Saturday, June 25 at 4:00pm

World Premiere of New Restoration

The Stendhal Syndrome / La sindrome di Stendhal

Dario Argento

, Italy, 1996, 113m

Italian with English subtitles

Asia Argento delivers her first great lead performance in this dark psychological thriller, an adaptation of Graziella Magherini’s novel. She stars as Anna Manni, a police officer who’s raped and stalked by a killer (Thomas Kretschmann) after fainting in Florence’s Uffizi Gallery. In interviews, the director has said that he needed an actress who was “spontaneous,” “nervous,” and “modern” for the challenging role of Anna, and while the part was originally conceived with Bridget Fonda in mind, it’s now impossible to imagine anyone but Asia bringing the character to life. Featuring composer Ennio Morricone’s first post–Animal Trilogy score for Argento, The Stendhal Syndrome presents trauma as a communicable virus, and art as a channel for overwhelming self-destructive emotions. 4K digital restoration by Cinecittà.

Friday, June 24 at 4:00pm Wednesday, June 29 at 8:15pm

World Premiere of New Restoration

The Phantom of the Opera / Il fantasma dell’opera

Dario Argento

, Italy, 1998, 99m

Italian and French with English subtitles

The Paris Opera House—conjured by Argento on a studio set in Hungary—is alive and overrun with rats in this full-throated adaptation of Gaston Leroux’s gothic classic. Here, the Byronic Phantom (Julian Sands) is outwardly handsome, and instantly attractive to young singer Christine (Asia Argento). He also happens to have been raised by rats, and is perhaps a little too comfortable in their company. Argento and his co-writer Gérard Brach (Repulsion, The Tenant) contrast the elusive nature of the central pair’s relationship with the compulsive behavior of István Bubik’s Rat Catcher. Argento was inspired to add Bubik’s grubby villain to Leroux’s narrative after he, in real life, spotted a rat in the Paris Opera’s research library. Featuring a score by Ennio Morricone, Argento’s Phantom of the Opera is his most unabashedly romantic chiller to date. 4K digital restoration by Cinecittà.

Monday, June 20 at 2:00pm Tuesday, June 28 at 9:00pm

World Premiere of New Restoration

Sleepless / Non ho sonno

Dario Argento

, Italy, 2001, 117m

Italian with English subtitles

Max von Sydow stars in this giallo whodunit, one of a handful of Argento-helmed mysteries set and filmed in Turin. Von Sydow plays Ulisse Moretti, a retired cop who, years earlier, was tasked with solving a bizarre series of killings known as “The Dwarf Murders.” The details of that case slowly return to Moretti after he teams up with Officer Giacomo Gallo (Stefano Dionisi), whose mother was brutally murdered with a clarinet in the same fateful year. Originally titled Non ho sonno (“I Can’t Sleep”), a nod to the half-forgotten nursery rhyme that triggers the murderer’s compulsive behavior, the film takes inspiration from classic mysteries—particularly of detectives Hercule Poirot, Ellery Queen, and Nero Wolfe—and from consultations with contemporary giallo author Carlo Lucarelli that shaped the movie’s police-procedural sequences. 4K digital restoration by Cinecittà.

Wednesday, June 22 at 9:00pm Monday, June 27 at 3:30pm

World Premiere of New Restoration

The Card Player / Il cartaio

Dario Argento

, Italy, 2003, 103m

Italian with English subtitles

A killer challenges a Roman police inspector (Stefania Rocca) and a visiting Irish cop (Liam Cunningham) to a series of high-stakes online poker games in this characteristically tart poliziesco detective thriller. Like many of Argento’s gialli, The Card Player features a macabre, and sometimes elusive, sense of humor. Inspired by Dogme 95 filmmakers including Lars von Trier and Thomas Vinterberg, and shot mostly with natural light, The Card Player envisions Internet-Age Rome as a desaturated liminal space. Argento teases viewers right up until the film’s manic climax, involving a laptop, two pairs of handcuffs, and an oncoming train. 4K digital restoration by Cinecittà.

Wednesday, June 22 at 3:30pm Tuesday, June 28 at 6:30pm

World Premiere of New Restoration

Do You Like Hitchcock? / Ti piace Hitchcock?

Dario Argento

, Italy/Spain, 2005, 93m

Italian and Spanish with English subtitles

This playful thriller is as much an homage to Alfred Hitchcock’s paranoiac style as it is a hopeful tribute to modern film students and horror filmmakers alike. Originally intended to be the pilot episode of a cinema-themed series for Italian television, Do You Like Hitchcock? follows Giulio (Elio Germano), a clueless academic and reluctant voyeur who stumbles upon a murder plot involving his sexy neighbor (Elisabetta Rocchetti) and a mysterious blonde (Chiara Conti). An appropriately tongue-in-cheek score by Pino Donaggio (Body Double, Dressed to Kill) evokes the composer’s former reputation as “the new Bernard Herrmann,” perfectly paired with Argento’s “Italian Hitchcock.” 4K digital restoration by Cinecittà.

Saturday, June 25 at 2:00pm Wednesday, June 29 at 4:15pm

World Premiere of New Restoration

Mother of Tears / La terza madre

Dario Argento

, Italy/USA, 2007, 102m

English, Italian, Japanese, and Hungarian with English subtitles

An invigorating experience working on two episodes of Showtime’s Masters of Horror anthology series (“Jenifer” and “Pelts”) compelled Argento to finish his supernatural “Three Mothers” trilogy. Daria Nicolodi and Udo Kier return to help Asia Argento fight the pitiless, bloodthirsty witch Mater Lachrymarum (Moran Atias) and her cannibalistic acolytes. Rather than rehash bygone glory days, when amateur sleuths fought to suppress their newly aggravated psychosexual angst, Argento concludes his iconic triptych with a giddy and gross apocalyptic conspiracy thriller, set in a modern age already overrun with dark magical thinking. 4K digital restoration by Cinecittà.

Monday, June 20 at 9:00pm Monday, June 27 at 1:00pm

Dracula 3D

Dario Argento

, Italy/France/Spain, 2012, 110m

Stendhal Syndrome co-stars Thomas Kretschmann and Asia Argento reunite as Count Dracula and Lucy in Argento’s idiosyncratic update of Bram Stoker’s foundational vampire novel. Here, Dracula transforms into various creatures of the night, including an owl and a giant praying mantis, and lords it over a terrified community of superstitious people, most of whom are either in denial or too scared to challenge their undead master. Shot in vivid 3D by Luciano Tovoli (Suspiria, Tenebrae) and scored by a post-Goblin Claudio Simonetti, Dracula 3D also features Rutger Hauer’s charismatic performance as the archetypally purehearted vampire-slayer Abraham Van Helsing. Presented in 3D.

Thursday, June 23 at 9:00pm Sunday, June 26 at 8:30pm

North American Premiere

Dark Glasses / Occhiali neri

Dario Argent

o, Italy/France, 2022, 90m

Italian with English subtitles

This unusually tender giallo thriller—the maestro’s first movie in 10 years—follows Diana (Ilenia Pastorelli), a Roman sex worker, and Chin (Andrea Zhang), a Chinese-Italian preteen, as they try to catch a wire-wielding serial strangler after the killer causes a fateful car crash that leaves Diana blind and Chin orphaned. Argento revived and rewrote an earlier draft of Dark Glasses in collaboration with regular co-writer Franco Ferrini (Phenomena, The Card Player) and associate producer Asia Argento, who co-stars as an encouraging social worker. Argento draws unexpected connections between otherwise disparate corners of Rome—a city that, in this movie, is haunted by the presence of lonely outsiders. With a sleek, club-ready synth score by BPM (Beats Per Minute) composer Arnaud Rebotini, Dark Glasses offers a thrilling reminder of Argento’s gift for keeping even his most devoted fans guessing. A Shudder release.

#Dario Argento #Film at Lincoln Center #Shudder #Mubi #Suspiria #Inferno #Mother of Tears #Dark Glasses #Dracula 3D #Deep Red #The Bird With the Crystal Plumage #The Cat o’ Nine Tails #Four Flies on Grey Velvet #The Five Days #Tenebrae #Phenomena #The Stendhal Syndrome #The Card Player #Do You Like Hitchcock?

[thehitchcockbrunette]

#who is doing it like them #shadow of a doubt #shadow of a doubt 1943 #alfred hitchcock #mine: screencaps #mine** #i brought you nightmares

[maraslesbian]

so i'm going to uni again for a year and i have art history classes for the first time and holy shit hannah gadsby wasn't lying when she said that the history of western art is just the history of men painting women like they're flesh vases for their dick flowers

#our teacher is so infuriating too. kept talking about the 'eroticism' in paintings of nude women #without even MENTIONING the objectification of women's bodies. NOT ONCE. #'you can see here that delacroix used a photograph as reference for this nude painting to make it more accurate' #MY GUY DO YOU NOT SEE HOW HE TWISTED THE PROPORTIONS ???? THE PICTURES ARE LITERALLY NEXT TO EACH OTHER FFS #and like. i get that his class isn't about a feminist reading of art history. but having the male gaze be so fucking blatant #and him not making even ONE note about it. talking like the way these men painted women is normal and neutral. was so fucking ENRAGING #reminds me of that one film analysis teacher who told us that it didn't matter that hitchcock was a creep and a predator #because all the people involved were dead #as if hitchcock wasn't one of the most influencial directors of all time #and his films didn't shape most of western cinema. including the way it portrays women #anyways #mara talks #mara rants in the tags

[willaferrreyra]

first date movies — neil lewis x reader

word count: 2.9k (oops this was….way longer than i thought)

contains: SMUT (18+ ONLY) —> fingering, oral (m receiving), public indecency (getting it on in a movie theater because…it’s neil), fluff, happy ending!

you have a crush on your coworker and you really wish you didn’t.

note: this has not been proofread so place excuse any typos! i hope you enjoy especially since this is my first smut fic on this account which is insane. also all of the movies referenced are some of my favorites so…..i’d absolutely recommend them if you haven’t seen them already! neil is my silly little movie buff husband and i’d absolutely LOVE to write for him again so please leave some feedback if you’d like more!

cillian taglist: @mortylover

As you stood on a step stool, shelving new video arrivals, you could hear Ingrid Bergman's lovely Swedish accent behind you.

Notorious. You'd seen it a million times but you'd never gotten sick of it. It was your favorite Hitchcock and often the movie you'd throw on if you were in need of comfort. Although it was your turn to pick what everyone watched at the video store today, you weren't sitting with everyone else on the big worn out sofa. You preferred to shelve and enjoy the sound of the movies in the background (maybe walking over when your favorite scene was on). After all, someone needed to help the customers even if you didn't have many.

You had an annoying habit of reciting movie lines that you loved, as did Neil, the owner of the store and one of your closest friends.

"This is a very strange love affair," you said with Ingrid as you placed Valley of the Dolls in its right place.

"Why?" Neil said right along with Cary Grant, glancing over at you.

"Maybe the fact that you don't love me," you shot him a dramatic look, trying to do your best Ingrid Bergman impression.

"Your Bergman should be better for someone who's seen this movie more times than she can count," he said.

You rolled your eyes.

"She's got a unique accent! Plus it's very transatlantic. That's hard."

"She can do the Fargo accent," your other coworker Jonathan pointed out, not bothering to look up from the TV.

"Oh, you betcha," you grinned, nailing the unmistakable Minnesotan "o" sound.

"That's not hard!" Neil protested.

"It's not easy!"

The doors jingled as your best friend walked through the door, cutting the discussion about accents short. Before you could even say anything she already had a request.

"First date movie. Help."

You thought for a minute.

"Well what's the person like?"

"I don't know! I haven't met him yet. This is a blind setup by a coworker thing."

"Do you....think you'll be paying attention to the movie?"

She made a face.

"Are you suggesting what I think you're suggesting?"

"Not necessarily! You could be....talking."

After many failed dates with guys who were into film, you understood the complexities of picking the first date movie. It said a lot about a person — what they're into, how they feel, who they aspire to be. But at the end of the day, it needs to be something that can transition to being background noise for a good make out session while still being enjoyable. Very few movies check all of those boxes.

"Just don't give me anything too complicated, okay?" she sighed. "No Lynch. No Cronenberg."

You fake frowned. "I was just gonna rent Crash and Lost Highway to you as a double feature."

She shuddered as she remembered the horror that was watching both of those films. You could stomach things like that but she absolutely couldn't.

"Okay, sit tight. I have a thought," you said as you ran over to the romances.

Your friend wandered over to the TV while you hunted for her perfect first date movie.

"Hey guys," she said monotonously.

"Hey," they replied equally unenthused.

She stood and watched the movie for a minute before you came back holding Moonstruck.

"Cher. Nic Cage. Romantic. Easy to follow. It checks every box!"

"That's your idea of a first date movie?" Neil scoffed.

"What's yours? The Seventh Seal?" you rolled your eyes.

"Yeah, that's why Denise broke up with him," Jonathan replied.

"What? You didn't tell me that!"

"Well it kind of just happened," he said. "And to be honest I'm not so broken up about it."

After knowing Neil a while, you knew that he wasn't one for consistent steady girlfriends. Denise lasted longer than most, but in the end he always seemed to get bored. Sure, he got around to an extent, but it was hard for you to picture Neil Lewis truly settling down. Unless, of course, you pictured him with you — but you tried not to do that. The thought popped into your brain every once in a while but you pushed it out as soon as it arrived. You knew you'd only end up getting hurt.

"Okay, well that's good because I was wondering if you wanted to go to the movies tonight. I mean, I'm all for a good ol' post breakup pity party but I'd much rather go see The Thing on the big screen tonight."

You and Neil did your part to keep your local independent theater in business more than anyone else in town. It was a regular thing for the two of you to go see at least two movies a week, sometimes more. Sometimes Jonathan and Lucien would tag along and sometimes it was just the two of you — every time you secretly hoped that it would be just the two of you.

"Now that's a good first date movie," Jonathan said.

"The Thing for a first date?" you scrunched your nose into a face of disapproval. "You guys have no taste."

"Well good thing we're not going on a first date then," Neil said. "But yeah, I'll go with you, I'm not doing anything else. Wanna grab dinner and go straight there?"

Those words shouldn't have been such a dagger to you but they were. No shit, this wasn't a first date. He didn't need to remind you.

"Yeah, that's fine," you said, trying to mask the disappointment in your voice. "I just have a few more things to finish up here and then we can head out."

You helped your friend rent her movie and finished up your shelving duties with a little less pep in your step than usual as Neil's words played over and over again in your mind like a broken record.

Good thing we're not going on a first date then. Fuck him. It's not like he was trying to hurt you, after all he didn't know that you maybe kinda sorta liked him. But those words.....you just couldn't take your mind off of them as you mentally prepared yourself for your very clearly stated non-date.

—

A little diner by the local theater had been your spot with Neil for as long as you'd been coworkers. It had become a tradition of yours to sneak in mini bottles of booze to pour into the milkshakes, either on celebratory or wallowing in your sorrows occasions. Neil's breakup felt like a good excuse to give your shared vanilla shake deserved an extra kick, even if you were the one who really needed it.

"Is anyone looking?"

He shook his head as you poured the vodka into the glass, stirring the concoction with the straw. You didn't wait for Neil before placing your lips to the straw and downing a quarter of it all at once.

"Hey, take it easy. I thought I was the one who needed the alcohol tonight," he chuckled.

"You said it yourself, you're not upset about Denise," you said, the irritation in your voice shining through.

"Are you upset about something, then? I'm sorry I didn't really help you shelve today, I just- you know, you like to do that stuff by yourself sometimes. And you picked such a good movie I couldn't tear myself away from the screen."

It would've been easier if you had really been upset about that. You wished that you were upset about that And now half the shake was gone, everything you wanted to say was rushing to your head, and you didn't even think about what you were doing when you blurted out:

"Why can't this be a first date?"

His eyes widened as he let out a small chuckle, assuming you were kidding.

"What?"

"You heard me. Why can't this be a first date?"

As he stared back at you, you felt like you had just fucked everything up. This amazing friendship was just ruined now because you drank your boozy milkshake too fast.

"Do....do you want it to be?" he asked.

"Fuck!" you exclaimed before burying your head in your hands. "Forget I said anything. I-I drank that too fast."

"No, I....we can call this a date if you want. In fact I'd really like that."

He wasn't trying to humor you and he wasn't trying to make the situation better by saying something that he didn't mean — he was dead serious.

"Neil, don't say that if you don't mean it," you sighed. "I'm just....upset today. Don't listen to me."

He studied your face for a minute before speaking again.

"Do you remember when I interviewed you for your job?"

"Now what does that have to do with anything?"

You did, in fact, remember your Gumshoe interview very well. You had asked him if he'd ever considered doing a film noir themed commercial for the store and you'd never seen someone so excited about an idea before — you always assumed that was why you had gotten the job.

"I knew you before that, you know," he said. "I remembered you from when you used to be a customer. There was actually this one time when you had an overdue fee and I paid it for you and told the guys that I had lost the tape."

This made you smile a bit.

"Point being?"

He took a deep breath before he continued on.

"Normally when we do the interview process, we ask the same shit, you know? What's your favorite movie? Who's your favorite director? And I asked you that stuff even though I thought I already knew the answers, I remembered what you used to rent. I thought I knew you so well and then you just went totally fucking wildcard on me — and I loved it. Ever since then you've kept on surprising me and I....well, I really like that. I guess what I'm trying to say is I really like you. And I think I always have."

You stared at him wide-eyed. You had not expected your little drunken tantrum to get you a confession of feelings.

"Neil....do you know why I rented from Gumshoe all the time? I mean, I'm all for supporting the little guys, but I really went in to see you. And then I got this job and I got to know you and you weren't just the cute guy at the video store anymore, you were like....my cute friend/boss technically but I won't get into that. But I got to know you and I watched you go through all of these relationships because you get bored eventually and....I just think you might get bored with me. I'm no Katharine Ross in Butch and Sundance."

He shook his head as a smile crept across his lips.

"No, you're even more exciting than that. You're like...Barbarella or something. Queen of the galaxy."

"Barbarella's whole thing was sex appeal," you point out. "That's the whole movie."

"Sex appeal, sure. But she's also kind and interesting and witty. You've got all of that."

You took all of that as a compliment but you found yourself blushing at his mention of sex appeal.

—

When you arrived to the movie theater after finishing your meal, it seemed that you two were the only ones dying to see a John Carpenter flick on a Tuesday evening. You had your pick of seats in the empty theater.

Your non-date turned date couldn't have been going better, honestly, it made you think that you should turn to drinking more often. It fixed this problem miraculously well.

As you settled into your seats and the lights dimmed, it was clear that both of you wanted to make a move but didn't know how to do it. After all, you couldn't just go straight for unzipping his fly. Or could you? Tonight was all about confidence and he clearly liked it when you kept him on his toes. You decided to start slow, resting a hand on his thigh, letting your hand wander from there.

He looked over at you as you made contact with the bulge in his jeans. It was hard to read his expression in the dark, but you could feel that he didn't want you to stop.

"Are we really gonna do this here?" he whispered.

"We've both seen this a thousand times, I think it'll be okay if we get a little distracted," you whisper back. "U-unless you don't want—"

He cut you off with a kiss that was a long time coming. You were surprised by the sheer force of it as your tongues collided. His hand reached up to cup the side of your face as you melted into the kiss, illuminated by the glow of the silver screen. He made you feel dizzy, but in a good way.

Now, you had never been intimate in a movie theater before, but it was even more exhilarating than you could’ve imagined. As you slowly unzipped his fly, taking his length out of his jeans, you noticed that Neil wasn’t watching the movie at all. His eyes were completely focused on you.

“You’re really taking your time, aren’t you?” he whispered. He was rock hard already and you could tell that he was getting incredibly impatient. You held the base of him while you teased his tip with your tongue. Whatever composure he thought he had went out the window as he his eyes rolled back in pleasure. Based on his breathing patterns you thought he was going to come right then.

“Fuck,” he swore under his breath. “Just….just like that.”

You could feel him trembling as your tongue continued to work its swirly magic. Eventually you began to take him in your mouth completely, greeting him with the warm sensation of the back of your throat. He groaned out your name in a raspy whisper as you bobbed your head on his length. Before you knew it, you could feel a hand on your head guiding it along — his touch felt so intimate and loving, you couldn’t get enough.

“I-I’m close….I’m— fuck….I’m gonna—“

Before he could finish what he was going to say, you could feel his come coat the back of your throat. It was a warm, welcome feeling and you couldn’t wait to feel it again.

“Jesus christ,” he sat there catching his breath before turning to you. “That was….wow. You’re just…..I-Incredible.”

You smiled at the praise. It wasn’t even day that you were complimented on your blowjob skills.

Your head made its way to his shoulder as you sat side by side watching the movie. His hand began on your though but slowly because to creep it’s way up between your legs.

“Returning the favor?” you whispered, smiling softly as you glanced in his direction.

He nodded, speaking in a sultry whisper that nearly made your legs shake. “You know, you just made me feel so good….it would be a crime not to reciprocate it, don’t you think?”

You continued to rest your head on his shoulder as he slipped two fingers inside of you. You couldn’t help but notice how easily they went in — you had been soaked for hours.

“All this for me?” he chuckled. “How long have you been like this?”

“All night,” you said in between heavy breaths. “I-I’m always like this around you, Neil.”

“No way, are you really?”

His switch up from the sultry whisper to his excited tone made you giggle.

“I have….a tendency to daydream about you when I’m around you,” you explained.

His fingers found just the right spot as he continued to question you. It was becoming increasingly difficult for you to talk.

“Daydream about what specifically?”

A small whimper escaped your mouth as his fingers curled inside of you. You couldn’t even recall what you used to daydream about until it hit you.

“This…..this exact moment. I-I’ve….fuck….Ive daydreamed about this a m-million times.”

“Oh yeah?” he asked as he started to pump his fingers faster. “And how does it end?”

“I- Neil- I’m gonna—“

“How does it end, sweet girl? Tell me.”

You could barely even answer in between heavy breaths but you managed to speak up, your words intertwined with your moans.

“Y-you make….you make me come, N-Neil! I’m….right now, I’m—“

“Show me. Come for me. Show me how the daydream ends.”

And you did, trying your best to keep quiet as you came undone. You buried your face into his shoulder as you whimpered and throbbed against his fingers.

“Good girl,” he exhaled. “That’s a good girl.”

—

The next day at work, you and Neil debated what you should tell the others. To announce the relationship or keep it a secret was a heavily debated topic, but you eventually settled on keeping it to yourselves for a while before revealing it. You thought it would be nice to have something that was just yours for a while. Plus, hiding a relationship can be incredibly sexy.

As you walked into Gumshoe, you flashed a quick smile at Neil who was in his usual spot behind the counter before taking your place at the shelf.

“Hey, Jonathan,” you called over to the couch, getting his attention. “I was totally wrong. Upon my rewatch, I think that The Thing would be a great first date movie.”

“See, I told you! I told you and you never fucking listen to me,” he said. “What made you change your mind?”

You glanced over at Neil one more time. It was clear that he was thinking about last night just as much as you were.

“I don’t know…” you shrugged. “Maybe it’s Kurt Russell.”

#cillian murphy x reader #neil lewis x reader #cillian murphy smut #I HOPE YOU ENJOY MY DARLINGS!! mwah!!!

[darthannie]

day twenty-six: thigh riding with neil lewis

pairing: Neil Lewis x f!reader word count: 821 warnings: kissing, thigh riding, Neil is fully clothed (reader not so much), getting caught(ish) a/n: It is indeed the new year, but I don't wanna dnf so these will still be coming out! I think they're fun! kinktober masterlist

“I guess I’ll see ya next time,” you muttered as you got up to gather your things. Everyone had already gone from movie night and it was just you and Neil. 

He reached out to stop you “Wait, why don’t you stay? I could toss on 2001 or Night of the Living Dead or something?”

You considered it. “Throw on Psycho. Seen it a thousand times, but never with you, ya know?”

“Right! Yeah, sure,��� he got up and milled around for a second, before walking towards a shelf labeled “HITCHCOCK”. His finger ran across the tapes, “Let’s see… got it!” He ran back and put the movie in the player. 

You sat back down on the couch and he sat next to you. The energy was similar to being alone with a high school crush for the first time. You readjusted to lay down on his lap.

“What are you doing?”, he asked as a grin formed. 

“Getting comfortable.” You adjusted your head in his lap and he shifted his body. You laid your hand over his thigh, squeezing slightly. He laid his arm over your body. You’d never touched each other this much. The most contact you’d given each other was eye contact. 

You stayed like this for a while, adjusting slightly here and there. About halfway into the film, you felt his hand moving towards the hem of your shirt. He tested the waters, slowly lifting your shirt and laying his palm flat against your skin. 

“Neil…” you said as you turned on your back.

“Yes?”, he responded, hoping you weren’t about to tell him to stop. 

“Why are you touching me like that?” You sat up and faced him.

He immediately removed his hand and became rather sheepish. He stuttered a bit as he said. “I just thought- I thought maybe- Maybe- You know- You maybe felt some kind of way about me.”

You stared at him for a moment before your lips crashed into his. 

He cocked his head over and pulled you in closer. His hand went back to your waist but this time it moved down to the button of your jeans. Feeling bold, you pulled away and got up to remove your pants yourself. 

“Those too,” he said gesturing to your underwear. He watched you closely. You smirked and chuckled lightly. You took them off and dropped them to the floor. 

“Now come here.”

You shifted towards him. He reached out and grabbed your arm, pulling you down right on his thigh. Your bare skin on his clothed thigh felt weird, but not uncomfortable. His hands landed on your hips as you settled on him. 

“Move.” His eyes were stuck on yours, waiting for you to follow his plea. You bucked your hips slightly. Your knee was in between his legs, brushing softly against him through his pants. He let out a sigh as you continued to buck your hips. You leaned forward and put your head in the crook of his neck, kissing him and moaning softly as you continued rutting up against him.

You felt so needy. His hands reached around and he grabbed your ass, pulling you towards him. He kept his hands there as you cupped his face to kiss him. He pulled away and kissed your neck, nipping at your skin lightly. Your moans got a little louder but they stopped when you heard familiar voices outside.

Your eyes widened. You hopped off him and quickly pulled your pants back on. Neil tried his best to hide his erection and the wet spot that had formed on his thigh. The rustling of keys stopped, and the voices got louder as the door opened. The full-blown conversation turned into murmurs as Jonathan and Lucien saw the two of you on separate sides of the couch. You sat up pin straight and Neil cleared his throat.

“Forget something?”, Neil asked. The two men by the door looked between you and Neil. 

Jonathan smirked, “Yeah I just left my cell behind the counter. Lucian, did you forget anything?”

Lucian felt the awkward energy in the room and he did not like it. “No, I didn’t,” he stepped towards the door saying, “See you tomorrow!” before running out. Jonathan trailed behind him, putting the key in the door, turning it, and checking the knob to make sure it didn’t budge. 

“See you tomorrow, guys,” said Jonathan. He pulled the door back and turned to look at the both of you. “Two things,” he pointed at you, “Your underwear is on the floor. AND if you guys are FINALLY gonna get together, anywhere but the couch. Please.”

“Sure thing!”, you shouted as he left. You didn’t even face him as you said it. Your eyes were stuck on the screen.

When he left, you looked over at Neil who had a smirk on his face. Everything was about to happen on that couch. 

Taglist:

@devotedlyshadowytheorist, @dxnger-dxys, @tommyshelbywhore, @quinnlilias,@madnessandobsession, @mvpr-moon, @nela-cutie, @faebirdie, @charmed-asylum, @anasanthology, @ilikefictionalmen, @akanne-aka, @no-fooking-fighting,@queenofstresss, @flwrs4aust, @mrkdvidal1989, @00hsv, @laylasbunbunny

#cillian murphy #cillian murphy x reader #cillian murphy fic #kinktober ‘23 #cillian x reader #neil lewis x f!reader #neil lewis smut #neil lewis x reader #neil lewis x you

[astrobiscuits]

Astro observations part 6

🪻Individuals with Sun in Taurus degrees (2,14,26) are always thinking about money - how they can earn more money, what to spend it on. If it's in Scorpio or conjuncts Pluto, they'll often lie about how much money they actually have just to profit off of you. You'll often hear them say "I don't have any money" but secretly have stash of money hidden in their house

🪻Not only do Aquarius Suns have a lot of friends, they also befriend the shy/awkward/forgotten kid (me). I haven't noticed this with other Sun signs

🪻People with Venus in Leo/Leo degrees (5,17,29) often get complimented on their thick hair

��Asteroid Fraga (1105) conjuncting any of your planets/angles/nodes indicates your love for strawberries lol

🪻 Check your Moon in Webb (3041) Persona chart. It gives you more insight on the type of content you like to consume on the internet. You can also take into consideration the degree of your Moon

Aries 🌙 - *watches sports matches live*; *laughs at stupid, childish memes *

Taurus 🌙 - the one who always searches for tutorials; "how to bake lava cake", "how to remove a stripped screw"; hmm, maybe i should move *searches houses for sale*;

Gemini 🌙 - *watches memes*, doesn't care what kind of meme it is as long as it's a meme; *scrolls endlessly on r/todayilearned*

Cancer 🌙 - *watches baby videos*; the type that reads family drama posted on reddit, but also regularly checks what their own relatives post on social media

Leo 🌙 - the newest tea on their fav celebrities; they're the first to know what Zendaya ate this morning, where Tom Hanks went on vacation yesterday and if Kylie Jenner is pregnant again; awww a kitty *ends up in an endless loophole of cat videos*

Virgo 🌙 - "declutter with me" videos, "clean with me" videos; *checks their fav blog every day*; *watches workout videos while working out*; *checks e-mails 20 times a day*; ugh, i need to take a break *watches pet videos*

Libra 🌙 - "get ready with me for..." videos, "OOTD" videos, make-up tutorials; their pinterest is full of outfit inspo and aesthetic house decor; "red/green flags in a guy/girl" videos, "first date do's and don'ts" videos

Scorpio 🌙 - *watches every true crime documentary out there*; "Michael Jackson spirit box session"; time to do the deed *watches p8rn*

Sagittarius 🌙 - *saves bible verses all the time*; searches "how to manifest everything you want", obsessed with Neville Goddard content (i'm so sorry, i'm guilty of this); *decides to go on a spontaneous trip, so they end up watching travel videos*

Capricorn 🌙 - the type that doesn't use the internet for entertainment much; actually, you'd be surprised by how little they use their phone compared to the average person; probably has a daily time limit set on their phones, *reads memoirs and biographies*,

Aquarius 🌙 - twitch is their life basically; if they're not watching someone play a video game, then they're playing a video game; *follows LGBTQ+ content during pride month*

Pisces 🌙 - they're listening to music 24/7, has a playlist for every mood they're going through, *watches tangled for the 7th time in a row*; actually, they're always watching a tv series if not for a disney movie

🪻I noticed that most film directors (Hitchcock, Kubrick, Tarantino) have got Neptune in Gemini or Neptune in Gemini degrees (3,15,27). Besides Hitchcock, they also don’t have any aspect between Neptune and Mercury

#astro #astro community #astro placements #astrology #astro observations #asteroids #astro posts #astro notes #astro blog #astroblr #astrologyblr #sun in astrology #taurus #gemini #leo #scorpio #aquarius #venus in leo #neptune #sun in gemini #neptune in gemini

[lenacosse]

In a world of boys, he’s a gentle man

pairings: Jake Peralta x female reader

warnings: Men being men. Angst with happy ending.

word count: 2.6k

summary: You’re having a hard time at work, things are stressing you out and you’re at a crossroad in your relationship with Jake but he’ll always fix his mistakes.

———————————————————————

The blaring of your obnoxious alarm fills your ears. Ripping you from your sleep for another day of work, another day of men undermining you, another day of unsolved crimes.

You reluctantly drag yourself out of your bed and get ready. To make matters worse you and your boyfriend Jake were fighting- you wanted him to move in but his fear of commitment made him laugh the topic off and diminish your feelings. You understood his issues, but it wasn’t fair. So you told him you needed space, and surprisingly he hasn’t contacted you yet. Not that you’re necessarily upset about that, you had mixed feelings.

You arrive to work at 9:12am. And there stands holt an eyebrow raised at you. You sigh and begin.

“I’m sorry sir. I got stuck in traffic.”

“So you’re the only one of my detectives late because of traffic, even though you live closest to the precinct.” Holt gives you a stern look and you just nod and walk into his office. He follows you in and shuts the door, you take a seat.

“I’m sorry captain. I don’t know what you expect me to say.”

“I appreciate the apology. But I’m worried about you (Y/L/N), you’re one of the finest detectives in the precinct yet you cannot unsolve simplest of cases?”

“I know. I just have a lot going on right now.”

“Well I’m sorry, but I’m going to have to take your cases and put you onto paperwork tasks. I understand it won’t help but it’s protocol.”

You just nod and exit his room, not looking where you’re going you walk right into Hitchcock who spills his coffee all over you. You take a long breath and look right at him. Violent outbursts weren’t your thing, but the stupidity of the situation is making it hard not to punch him in the face.

“Would you watch where you’re going!” You storm off into the women’s bathroom to dry your shirt off. A worried Amy follows you in.

“(Y/N)? Are you okay?” Amy asks, slowly moving towards you where you stand drying your coffee stained blouse.

You look at Amy and can’t help the tears that are filling your eyes. “I’m sorry i’m fine. It’s not big deal.”

Amy puts a hand on your arm, giving you a reassuring smile. “I know you’ve been stressed recently, and I’m sorry that your cases have been reassigned. But think of it as a break. Now you can have time to think.”

You nod and offer her a smile. Amy was undoubtedly your best friend, she had a way of understanding your feelings and you appreciated that more than you could explain.

“Thank you Ames. you’re amazing.” You and Amy share a hug before she leaves the bathroom. You dry your shirt by which time you’ve collected your thoughts. Allowing you to go back out there with a clear head and better intentions.

Walking back to your desk you get a few reluctant glances, you know it’s bad when people look at your like you’re Rosa. Half way through your first paper work task you get a short tap on your shoulder, you turn around to see Jake. He looks worn down, not as enthusiastic as usual. You would be lying if you said you didn’t feel a little bit bad, your aim was not to upset Jake when you said you wanted space, but to give yourself time to think. Which you haven’t even had a chance to do yet.

“I brought you a coffee.” Jake says, it was strange to see him so… calm? The main reason you agreed to go out with Jake was because he made you laugh. Because being with him was easy, you didn’t have to change yourself to be with him and that was all anyone could ask for. But the last few days he has been indifferent, you couldn’t help but blame yourself.

“Thank you.” You smile and take the coffee from his hands. Jake nods and starts to walk away, he glances back at you. Continues to walk, glances back again then walks back to you.

“Can.. we talk later? I know you want space but I hate this. I feel bad and it’s just..”

You cut him off with a sympathetic look. “Jake..” you begin, your tone flat.

“Yeah. sorry.” He walks away, this time not looking back.

You sigh and look to your left where Charles is sitting shaking his head and wiping his eyes. You furrow your brows at him and he takes that as an invite over. He walks over to your desk, his shoulders slumped.

“Can I help you Charles?”

“God. I’m so worried about you and jake. These last few days have been utter hell. I haven’t felt this helpless since Elenor and I divorced. I’m so upset I can’t even eat my stake tartare.”

“Maybe that’s for the best Charles, sounds absolutely disgusting.” You shake your head in disgust, “as for me and Jake we are grown adults and can sort it ourselves. Don’t stress.”

“That’s impossible! I’ll talk to Jake. I know how to solve the issue, a nurturing shower where he tenderly washes your hair with lavender shampoo.”

“Seriously?! Go back to your desk.” You shoo him away with your hand. Accepting defeat, sometimes you feel bad for dismissing Charles, but not today.

By lunch time you made a reasonable dent in your paperwork. You glance over to Jake, he’s doing paperwork too. But nothing is distracting him, not even the fact that captain Holt cracked a smile, at least someone’s in a good mood.

“Come on get your stuff we’re going to get lunch.” Rosa says standing in front of your desk with her arms crossed. Behind her is Gina.

“This doesn’t mean I care about you by the way girl. I need a break from my endless paperwork.”

You look over to Gina’s desk and roll your eyes, she had two files sitting there. “Wow I couldn’t imagine it. Is Amy coming?”

“It was her idea to bring you to lunch, then she got out her colour coordinated file of conflict resolution to help you lighten up. So I told her the wrong place, being around nerds is not what I need right now. Poor Amy sitting alone with nothing but her folder.” Gina shrugs.

You grab your jacket and go out with Gina and Rosa. You go to a cafe near the precinct, the cafe echoed with small talk and coffee pots brewing. It was peaceful compared to the loud precinct, the constant keyboard clicks and nonsense talk could of easily driven you mad.

“Damn I think you ruined Jake’s life, he’s a serious depresso these days.” Gina starts.

“I did not ruin his life. I needed space.”

“Why? Did his immaturity get the better of you?” Rosa questioned, you were slightly surprised at her input. Usually an outing with Rosa entails complete silence.

You sigh taking a sip of your drink. “I wanted us to move in together. He brushed it off saying there’s no need. So I told him I needed space from him and time to think, I feel bad sure but I don’t know what to do. It feels like he doesn’t love me enough to work through these issues.” You swallow back the lump in your throat.

“Mmkay well not to give you a compliment but Jake does love you.” Gina retorts. Rosa nods in agreement.

“You always try to get me to talk about my feelings, so take your own advice and go talk to him.” Rosa added.

“I don’t know what to say, we’ve been together for almost two years and it feels like we’re capped at the newly established relationship part.”

“I think that’s enough relationship talk. Who do you think we are, Amy Santiago? No.” Gina scoffed, as she did the food arrived. You sit with your friends eating lunch and listening to Gina talk about her upcoming dance competition and her love for Beyoncé.

———————————————————————

“Thanks for lunch.” You smile at Gina and Rosa as you sit back at your desk.

“Yeah whatever you’re welcome.” Rosa shrugs. You continue with your work, peacefully getting through your tasks with your mood peaking by the minute.

“(Y/N) can you give these files down to officer Smith?” Your sarge Terry asks, you get the files off his desk and get into the elevator to go downstairs.

It was no secret that the officers downstairs were dicks. They didn’t like you, especially officer Smith as you rejected him years ago. Ever since then he’s been making remarks about you attempting to piss you off, this has been applied to Jake as well because he is your boyfriend. Right after stepping out of the elevator you hear a wolf whistle coming from officer Smith. you roll your eyes and walk to his desk handing him the files.

“A present for me? You shouldn’t have.”

You ignore his words and explain the contents of the files, he doesn’t seem to be even paying attention but you didn’t care. That was until he piped up.

“How come you’re giving me files and not Gina?” You go to speak and he puts his finger to his mouth silencing you. “Don’t tell me the nine nine’s lousiest detective has been placed on desk duty.”

“It’s absolutely none of your business. But even so desk duty is much better than being stuck as a first rate officer for eight wasteful years.”

“Ah typical (Y/L/N) being a bitch when she gets her feelings hurt.”

“You’re pathetic. Don’t you get bored of being a dick?”

“You’re Goddamn insufferable. Just shut the fuck up and clear off.”

“Gladly. When you get off your ass for the first time today make sure to leave these files back.”

With that you walk away, but the cruel words that he shouted after had you clenching your fists and unwillingly crying in the elevator. That man knew how to get under your skin and you hated him with a burning passion. As you walk out of the elevator you wipe your eyes trying to mask the fact you’ve been embarrassingly crying. And once again you collide with someone. Their hands steady you by grabbing your shoulders. You sigh and look up, seeing Jake with a concerned look plastered on his face.

“Are you crying?”

“No.” You scoff as if you’re offended by the accusation.

“What happened?”

“Just Officer Smith being a dick.” You mumble.

His thumb lightly brushes a stray tear from your eye, you unwillingly melt into his touch, it’s warm and makes you feel safe.

“Whatever he said to you is irrelevant. He’s the biggest jerk ever. Don’t stoop down to his level and listen to what he has to say. You’re worth so much more than that.”

“Thank you Jake.” You run your thumb over his knuckles, a soft smile apparent on your face. Jake squeezed your hand three times, and you return the gesture. His face immediately brightens up, your eyes meet and you find yourself getting lost in his.

You hear a clearing of a throat, you look to your side seeing captain Holt stood with him arms crossed. You immediately drop Jake’s hand and he lets go of your shoulder. You both go back to your own desks. Today has made you realise talking to Jake is the best solution, it was only making you both miserable being apart. So you write him a note reading: ‘want to come over later?’ You throw it at him and it hits him in the head.

You watch his reaction to reading it. He scribbles something back on the page and throws it in your direction, but unluckily it hits Holt right in the face as he walks past your desk. You watch Jake’s eyes widen like a deer in headlights as he quickly looks down and pretends to be writing.

“Who on earth threw that?!” Holt rages. Everyone looks up from their desks yet no one takes accountability. Holt picks up the paper and reads it out. “Want to come over later? As long as we can watch die hard. (Ps. that shirt you’re wearing looks hot af)”

Your face turns a deep crimson as you look down at your desk, refusing eye contact. Everyone is quiet, mostly likely mentally scarred by the note. until Charles pipes up.

“WOOHOO!” He yells. “my dream couple are back. Did take my advice Jakey?”

“No Charles. I did not spoon feed her duck soup!”

“Gosh it’s a miracle things worked out.” Charles replied. You look over to Amy who looks just as disgusted as you from Charles’ statement.

“You two my office. Now.” Holt says whilst walking back to his office.

Jake follows behind you into Holt’s office, you both take a seat as does Holt. He does not look happy, or so you assume. He was difficult to read.

“Today started wonderfully. Everyone had work done. I even cracked a smile.” Holt starts. “However you two acting like teenagers is ridiculous! Throwing notes to each other like you’re in middle school?”

“(Y/L/N) started it.” Jake shakes his head in dismay. “She’s such a child.”

“Shut up Peralta.” You smack his arm, making him pull a classic face at you. You roll your eyes and cross you arms looking back at your captain.

“If you two can’t act mature then I’ll have to come up with a plan to keep you apart.”

You both mutter a sorry and he dismisses you. Of course the second you step out of his office you look at Jake and the both of you burst out laughing.

“What did I just say!” Holt shouts out, you both stop laughing and immediately go back to your desks.

———————————————————————

Your door knocked and you went to answer it. standing there is Jake with flowers, a tiny teddy bear and a bag full of snacks. You smile and let him in, letting him know the pizza is on its way.

“For you my lady.” Jake says in a God awful posh accent. You take the flowers and other things from him. You find yourself blushing at the thought of him buying you these things.

“Well aren’t you just a gentleman.” You kiss his cheek, he takes your chin in his hand and moves your face to look at him. Your foreheads touch and he leans in to kiss you, the kiss is tender and loving. You run your free hand through his hair and slowly pull back.

“I’m sorry for not taking things seriously.”

“It’s okay.”

“No I was being an idiot. I love what we have, and of course I want to move in with you. But that freaked me out and I was unfair. I want you to know that I would do anything for you. I want this for us, I want to come home with you every night, I want to wake up next to you every morning. I’m serious about you, I should have just told you that from the start. but I messed things up and to think that I almost ruined us-“

You shut him up by kissing him, you feel his smile against your lips. His hands go to your hips pulling you closer. You slowly pull away and he pulls you into a hug. The scent his cologne fades all the worries and doubts, it was simple. Jake was the only possible person you ever wanted to be with, and things would work out because you both were dedicated to making it work.

“Thank you.” You slowly pull back and stroke his cheek with your thumb.

“Okay I’m glad that worked out because I already sold my apartment.”

You roll your eyes. “Of course you did.” You tease.

The pizza arrives and the two of you lay on your couch together, eating pizza and watching die hard for the thousandth time. At this point you swear you could recite the script. But if it makes Jake happy then it makes you happy.

“I love you.”

“I love you too.”

#jake peralta #jake peralta x reader #boyfriend! jake peralta #brooklyn 99 #brooklyn nine nine #b99 #brooklyn 99 fic #fanfic #fanfiction #fluff #angst with a happy ending #light angst #fluff and angst #amy santiago #rosa diaz #gina linetti #charles boyle

[wasawattpadkid]

Housewife

Part - 3

Summery: Billy and Stu have been planning these murders for quite some time. Everything is going to plan until you show up. What happens when they meet someone who is just as mentally deluded as they are?

Pairing: poly!ghostface x fem!reader

Warnings for this series: murder, blood, smut (will be more in depth on smut chapters), power dynamics, a dash of sexism, knives, stalking, perverse behavior, cheating, masturbation

Part 1

Billy normally did this sort of thing with Stu. He had a feeling his friend would be upset that he went alone. That's something he'd have to deal with later. Your room was on the second floor with no obvious way up to the window. If you were the only one home he'd find a way in. With current company that wasn't exactly possible. Binoculars, cellphone, and his trusty voice changer, were all he had to work with. Doing this sort of thing without a knife was unusual.

He positioned himself where he could see your bed and the posters adorning the walls. Rear window, The Birds, Vertigo, and Psycho. You were an Alfred Hitchcock fan. "And Stu said you didn't have good taste in movies." He scoffed. Billy shook his head the binoculars close to his eyes. He watched as you walked in the room towel wrapped around your frame. One foot closed the bedroom door behind you. You looked to the window as you slowly dropped your towel. Did you know he was out here?

That was impossible. It was pitch black outside with the exception of the moon. Billy watched as you pulled the dress from the bag. A smile lit up your face which in turn brought one to his lips. A sense of pride filled Billy's chest knowing he picked it out. Once again your eyes found the window looking out as if someone was right on the other side. Slowly you pulled the fluffy nightgown over your head, the frill dropping right under your ass. Billy's hand slipped down his abdomen resting over his zipper.

You grabbed the matching panties from the bag dragging them up your legs letting the elastic slap your skin. Moving away from the window you looked yourself up and down in the mirror. Billy and Stu knew what they were doing when they bought you the nightgown. You spun letting the dress drift around you. Air seemed to catch in your throat as you got happy. A smile so painful your cheeks hurt, was one of the many indications you were elated with the gift.

The only thing you could think that would make it better was some music. Walking to your records you grabbed the worn out 45 listed under M for Monroe. Lifting the wooden cabinet cover you sat the vinyl down placing the needle in the first groove. Within a second "I wanna be loved by you" filled the room. You mouthed the lyrics as you danced around. That giddy feeling only getting stronger. Your hands slid up and down your body as if you were the best stripper on a Saturday night. It was classy though and Billy took note. The dancing wasn't the best, if you could call it dancing. It was like you were in love with yourself and the world around you. Playing around with the air that filled the room.

Billy started softly rubbing the bulge that began to strain again his dark jeans. His eyes never leaving you as you danced for an audience of one. Your towel dried hair swug around sure to fling left over water. You were his own personal burlesque dancer. Billy's hips grinded up into his palm. The knuckles wrapped around the binoculars began to turn white with his grip. He had no clue what song could make you ooze with such lust but he needed to use it to his advantage. You were walking innocence. Something he lacked throughout his life. You weren't stupid, you were incredibly brilliant. Every move you made it was intentional. You were putting a show just for him.

His hips quickened as the pressure grew. Little whispers of encouragement fell on deaf ears. Billy needed your glossy lips around him. He needed the hem of that frilly little dress to fall over his lap as you bounced happily. He needed... You. "Fuck!" He cursed through gritted teeth. He needed new underwear. "Fuck." He dropped the binoculars by his side to assess the damage you caused. The mess you made. A small damp spot began to make an appearance through the denim next to zipper of his jeans. Ignoring the uncomfortable mess he picked the binoculars back up noticing you were now buttoning up your pajama shirt. "God damnit!"

Now that your little burst of energy was over you were ready to crawl in bed. You switched the record over to something more peaceful, one that would take longer to end. Billy put the binoculars down to focus on the phone number staining his hand. His finger tapped the buttons double checking the numbers before hitting call. He could hear the ear piercing ring all the way outside. Before you could answer he pulled the voice changer from his pocket.

Quickly you leaned over grabbing the phone off the receiver. Placing it right back down with a click. It was too late for anyone to be calling. Billy took a deep breath redialing the number. Once again the phone screamed for your help. "Hello?" You asked politely to Billy's surprise seeing as you were obviously upset at the intrusion. You hoped it was Billy. "Hello.." He spoke not really sure where to go with this one. Well at least you know who it's not. You picked up the phone sitting the receiver on the bed next to you. You got comfortable with the phone resting against to your face. "Hi what's up?" You spoke. No asking 'who is this?' or 'why are you calling?" Maybe you were a little dumb.

"Um-" Billy cleared his throat thinking of a quick response. "The sky." He squeezed his eyes closed in shame. His eyes opened to find you with a smile. A small laugh could be heard over the phone. "Okay smartass what's down?" This was stupid. You were supposed to angry at the caller, suspicious even. Who calls a girl all alone at this hour? "The ground." You laughed clapping your hands. "That's right! Not too bad mystery man. But what do you need? Why'd you call?" Finally.

"What if I just wanted to talk?" You scooted yourself underneath the covers thinking about the caller. "Okay but I'm not doing no weird shit. You can call one those sex hotlines for that." Billy smiled at your assertion. "Fair enough. Who might I be speaking to?" It was a test. You barley gave him a name when you first met he doubted you'd give it to a psychopath on the phone. "I would say we could exchange names but what's the fun in that? I don't know you, you don't know me. What's your favorite song?"

The question was out of left field so much so he wasn't ready for it. "What's yours?" He asked to your disappointment. Billy saw the sad look on your face. "Am I talking to Socrates right now? I asked first." Billy begrudgingly gave out his answer. "1979 by the Smashing Pumpkins. Now what's yours?" You nodded your head at the answer. It seemed fitting. "Oh gosh." You sighed. "I honestly don't have a favorite. And if I did it would change next week. Have you heard Landslide by Fleetwood Mac? It's really popular you probably have." You took a deep breath in. Sighing out the air in one go. "Anyways I really like that one. It's kind of sad though if you think about it."

Billy sat listening to every word you said. "Your turn." He always had the most important question on hand. Billy wasn't really sure if he wanted to ask knowing what normally happened afterwards. "Do you like scary movies?" Billy put down his binoculars focusing on just your voice. "I'd say I do. I like a very specific genre of scary movies though." Billy sat up listening closer if that was possible. "What do you mean by that?" The voice on the phone became lower sending a slight chill down your spine. "Everyone likes scary movies to be bloody. The more guts and gore the better. You don't have to have that to make a scary movie. Vertigo is scary but there's practically no blood and Rear Window is one of the best movies made about a murder with no body ever being seen."

"Scary movies should get inside your head, make the viewer wonder if they are next. Make them wonder if they are just as screwed up as the villain." Out of everything you could've said he wasn't ready for that. "You are very smart girl." Billy didn't intend for it to come off as sexual. However you definitely took it that way. "Has anyone told you that you've got a very attractive voice?" Billy smiled holding back a laugh. "Is that so?" You nodded as if he could see you. "Yep. Anyways it's getting late mystery man. I'm going to get some sleep. Sleep well okay?"

"Okay. Goodnight mystery girl." Billy whispered into the phone. For the first time he was the one to hang up. To end the call without screams on the other end. It made him feel surprisingly good. The light in your room turned off letting him know you were actually going to bed. Billy quietly packed up his things and started the walk to his car. He wasn't sure if this little talk changed anything for you but it definitely changed things for him.

Part 4

Taglist: @katie-tibo @danodoll21

#billy loomis #ghostface #slashers #billy loomis masterlist #billy loomis ghostface #billy loomis x reader #billy loomis smut #scream smut #scream x reader #scream fanfiction #scream fanfic #scream 1996 #ghostface x female reader #stu ghostface #billy ghostface #ghostface x reader #ghostface smut #stu macher x reader #stu macher #stu macher fluff #billy loomis fluff #ghostface fluff #slasher x reader

[specialagentlokitty]

B99 x reader - slightly twisted

Hello. Can I please request the Brooklyn 99 team X reader? Reader works with them and is very kind and friendly with everyone, but occasionally they would say something that scares everyone (including Rosa) For example, everyone is trying to figure out how to get a suspect in interrogation to talk, and out of the blue (Y/N) says "give me 10 minutes with a car battery, I'll make him talk". - Anon💜

Standing in the conference room, you weren’t really paying much attention to what was going on, but you did slightly pay attention to Rosa and Jake trying to figure out how to get their suspect to talk.

“You’ve already tried annoying him, it didn’t work idiot.” Rosa snapped.

“Well you threatening him didn’t work either!” Jake huffed.

You flicked through your paper work.

“Give me ten minutes with a car battery, I’ll make him talk.”

Rosa and Jake snapped their heads towards you, and you looked at them, giving them the sweetest smile they had ever seen.

Gathering your papers, you happily walked outside and they shared a look.

“They’re twisted…” Jake mumbled.

“Seriously twisted…” Rosa agreed.

You had a quiet personality, but you were ever so sweet, always smiling and willing to do anything to help.

But out of the blue, you would so something so disturbing or terrifying, it put everybody in the precinct on edge.

It wasn’t often you did it, but you always did it at the most unexpected times.

For the next hour you sat at your desk, the you got up to make coffee, walking into the break room where everybody else was sat.

You stared intensely at the coffee pot.

“What’re you doing?” Charles asked.

“Thinking.”

“About what?” He asked.

Everybody shouted at him, and you began to calmly pour your coffee.

“Nobody knows when they’re going to die, unless they’re murdered. Then there is one person who knew the exact time you died at, you wouldn’t even know that you’re dead, you would just be dead. We could all be dead right now.”

You sipped at your coffee, setting your cup on the table you walked to your fridge to get your lunch.

You pulled out two boxes and handed one to Jake before sitting down.

“I want you to speak to a psychiatrist.” Holt said.

You looked at him, tilting your head a little.

“Why?”

“You are very disturbed.”

“He’s right, some of the stuff you say is horrifying.” Terry nodded.

You looked the them all.

“You even scare Rosa.”

You turned to Rosa, and she shrugged a little bit.

“I thought I was disturbed.” She said.

You shrugged a bit, going back to eating your lunch, sharing some of your food for Scully and Hitchcock who were lingering nearby.

You sat inside your own head again.

“I want a burger.” You said.

“Go get one.” Amy said.

“Oh! Let us come!” Scully begged.

You agreed, walking with them to get a burger from around the corner before walking back.

Everybody was standing in the bullpen near the vulture as he tried to take the next case from someone.

“It was funny!” He laughed.

“It was a hearse! Don’t you have any respect?!” Amy snapped.

The man shrugged a little and you sat on your desk to watch them.

“What did he do?”

“I happened to laugh as a hearse went buy holding the victim, it doesn’t mean I don’t sympathise. I just don’t care.”

You took a bite of your burger and stared at the man, and the other looked at you.

“You shouldn’t laugh at something like that.”

“Oh I don’t want your philosophy lecture just give me the damn case.”

You looked back at your food, slapping Jakes hand as he tired to snatch it from you.

“One day you’ll day, and you’ll be in a hearse. You could die tomorrow, and you’ll be thrown in a hole and left to rot, bones turning to dust and bugs calling your body home.”

The whole floor went quiet.

“We all go to the same place when we die, in the ground to be worm food, so I don’t see why you act like you’re better, you’re not. You’re just another walking sack of worm feast.”

The vulture made a gagging noise, and he stepped away from you.

“Seriously, what’s wrong with you?” He asked.

You looked up at him.

Your smile turned into a sickening grin as your stared into his eyes.

“I like scaring people.”

“That’s not hot. I’m gone.”

He quickly left and you went back to eating.

“Disturbing but useful apparently.” Rosa said.

They all looked at you and shuddered a little bit as you began to hum a twisted song under your breath.

You were the most lethal member of the squad, you didn’t need guns to bring someone down, no.

You just needed to talk, and that would be enough to make anyone confess or turn themselves in, just to escape the pure twisted truth that you generally talked about.

You had no filter, no thought process, and an unlimited supply of strange and twisted information

#Brooklyn nine nine #Brooklyn nine nine x reader #Brooklyn nine nine x you #Brooklyn nine nine imagine #b99 #b99 x reader #b99 x you #b99 imagine

[thecitysgraveyard]

Hey ! Can I request a Jake Peralta x reader ?

Where Jake is always all over reader hugging and kissing and the squad is found it annoyingly cute also reader is flustered, basically pure fluff

She/her pronouns please <3

oml yes thats so cute ahhh im gonna burst cause that's so cute, thank you for requesting nonnie <3

jake loves to see you get flustered and blushing and shy, so he kisses you, hugs and brings you flowers out of wanting to see you fluster and love

he's always holding you in some way or another, that can be holding your hand, your hair, your face, and anything else he can hold at this point

he loves you and his insecurity of him thinking you're gonna leave him, makes him want to be as close to you as possible

boyle loves to see you both working on cases together, he would talk about it the entire time if he got the chance to

though rosa might tease you or jake a bit, she won't say anything that is like don't do this or that

surprisingly enough even captain holt doesn't say anything, he just looks and lets it happen, it kinda looks like he's smiling too which is a very rare sight to see

gina is going to be after you and jake taking a picture when you both are kissing or hugging or well anything of that sort

hitchcock just keeps staring at you and asking how jake got such a hot girl

as for sully he just gives jake advice on choosing his wife and it should be the right person

and santiago, she does get pretty annoyed when jake keeps on kissing you and hugging you but finds it cute, usually on breaks she comes over to you and asks you about how jake is

jake might say some things but he'll always love you, he doesn't want to leave you and neither does he want you to leave

you're his one and only as he says in his own words

he says and does things like "i love you so much it hurts" and fakes being hurt

you find it pretty funny and he looks at you with lovingly, he knows you love him and will always keep making you fluster, blush, and laugh no matter what

he pours all his love and affection into you and will always, and i mean always keep loving you

#kurt's fics #jake peralta imagine #jake peralta x reader #jake peralta #jake peralta x y/n #jake peralta x f!reader #jake peralta x you #<3

[gubsbuubs]

ok so i’ve been thinking what about jake peralta with bimbo!reader that does not work with him so the team doesn’t know that that is his girlfriend so when she comes to visit him they are confused as to who she is looking for

this would be amazing if you did it and thank you for your time love your writing girl 🩷🎀

Is this so hard to believe?

Pairing: Jake Peralta x BimboFemale!Reader

Word Count: ~ 1.4K

A/N: English is not my first language - My requests are open!

"Can you hold it, please?" Her sweet voice pierced through the precinct lobby, each click of her heels resonating sharply against the floor. Rosa's hand instinctively reached out to halt the elevator doors, her brows knitting together in profound confusion as the woman who called for the hold emerged before her.

"Thank you so much," she purred, gracefully gliding into the elevator. The visitor pass dangled around her neck, a stark contrast against her pompous attire.

Rosa stepped aside, allowing her entry, and as she crossed the threshold, a heady wave of floral perfume enveloped the confined space. The dress she wore clung to her curves like a second skin, and the lace detailing added an air of delicate femininity. Rosa couldn't help but wince as her gaze trailed down to the woman's footwear—a pair of pink stilettos that defied reason with their towering height.

"You must be Rosa," she cooed, extending her hand in a gesture of greeting.

Rosa met her gaze, momentarily taken aback by the sincerity in those glossy lips, now curved into a dazzling smile.

"Yeah... Rosa Diaz," she replied, her voice carrying a hint of skepticism as she clasped the girl's delicate hand. It felt as though she was holding something fragile, something crafted from porcelain rather than flesh and bone. Her nails, impeccably manicured, added to the illusion of perfection. "I'm sorry, do we know each other?" Rosa asked.

"Oh, no, not officially at least," the woman replied with a melodious laugh, "But you work with my boyfriend, and he talks about you all the time. My name is Y/n."

Rosa's confusion deepened at the mention of a boyfriend. Not that she made a habit of keeping track of all her colleagues' significant others, but she couldn't shake the feeling of incredulity that someone on her floor was dating this woman, especially someone close enough to discuss Rosa with their partner. "I'm sorry, what? What boyfriend?"

Y/n's laughter tinkled through the air like wind chimes on a breezy day. "My boyfriend," she repeated, as if Rosa hadn't heard her the first time. "I was just shopping down the block, and I decided to come here and visit him and meet his detective friends."

Rosa's mind raced as she tried to piece together the puzzle. Detective friends? That meant it had to be someone on the team. Jeffords was married, so he was out of the picture. She swiftly ruled out Hitchcock and Scully as the potential boyfriend, despite their divorced status; there was no conceivable way it was one of them. Boyle, well, he was more than happily involved with Vivian.

Her eyes widen as she realizes, "You are dating Peralta?!" Rosa exclaimed in disbelief.

"Ding," Y/n laughed, mimicking the sound of the elevator as it arrived at their floor, affirmatively answering Rosa's question. "Although…. I prefer to call him Jakey," she added with a playful gleam in her eye, her excitement palpable as she eagerly made her way out of the elevator and into the bustling bullpen.

"Hi everyone!" she exclaimed in a loud and cheerful voice, causing heads to turn in her direction.

Already headed in their direction Terry stopped in his tracks at the sight. "What the..." His words trailed off as he took in this random woman's appearance, her bright smile and infectious energy catching him off guard.

"I'm sorry, miss. Are you lost?" He asked, his confusion evident as he glanced at Rosa, who appeared behind Y/n with a massive, amused smile adorning her face.

"Oh my god, HI!" Y/n said, extending her hand to greet him. "You must be the big, badass Sergeant Jeffords."

Terry extended his hand, still searching for the right words.

Before he could respond, Rosa stepped forward "Sergeant Jeffords, meet Y/n, Jake's girlfriend,".

"Jake Moore? The evidence technician?" Terry's confusion deepened.

Rosa couldn't help but laugh at the absurdity of the situation.

"No, silly, Jake Peralta, the detective," Y/n clarified with a playful smirk, lightly smacking Terry's arm. "Wow, Jakey did say you're really strong."

Terry blinked in astonishment, finally connecting the dots. "What? Really?" he asked in disbelief, his voice tinged with incredulity.

Suddenly, a man approached them, his smile beaming as he extended his hand to greet Y/n. "It's so great to finally meet you. My name is Boyle, and..."

"You're Jake's best friend," Y/n interjected, a knowing gleam in her eye as she shook his hand, cutting him off before he could finish his introduction.

Boyle's expression lit up with surprise and delight at being recognized. "Yes, that's me!" he exclaimed, unable to contain his excitement.. "Wow, Jake never mentioned you were coming by today. This is such a pleasant surprise!"

"Did you know that Jake had a girlfriend?" Jeffrey asked Boyle, his tone filled with genuine curiosity as he glanced between Boyle and Y/n.

Boyle's eyes widened in surprise at the question. "Yeah, he's always talking about her," he confirmed, his tone tinged with disbelief. "Even this morning, he mentioned they went on a date yesterday. Do you guys not listen to a single word he says?" Boyle shook his head in indignation, clearly baffled by the apparent lack of attention his colleagues had paid to Jake's conversations about his girlfriend.

"Wait, you're Y/L/N? The model?" Santiago's voice interrupted from behind Boyle as she joined the conversation, her eyes widening in recognition as she addressed Y/n.

Terry and Rosa exchanged incredulous glances as Santiago's words sank in. They had all heard Jake mention dating a model at some point, but every time he attempted to introduce her to the team, she was mysteriously unavailable. As a result, they had developed a theory that Jake didn't actually have a girlfriend and that it was just another one of his elaborate jokes.

"Hi there! You're Santiago, right?" Y/n offered her hand with a big smile. "Yes, my name is Y/n Y/L/N, but I wouldn't call myself a model."

"I'm sorry to be so direct, but is this a prank? Did Jake pay you to do this?" Amy asked, her tone cautious as she tried to broach the subject delicately, not wanting to sound disrespectful but finding it hard to believe that this woman standing before them was Jake's girlfriend.

"Amy!" Boyle exclaimed in disbelief at the accusation, he couldn't believe that anyone would think Jake's girlfriend was part of a prank.

Rosa, meanwhile, was holding her stomach as she laughed so hard at the entire situation. The absurdity of it all, combined with Amy's skepticism and Y/n's genuine confusion, was just too much for her to handle.

"I can assure you, this is not a prank," her voice tinged with amusement. "As much as I appreciate a good joke, Jake didn't put me up to this. I'm here because I came to visit Jakey and wanted to meet all of you."

"Well, Jake left to follow up on a lead, but knowing him, he'll probably be back before we know it. Do you want anything? Coffee, water?" Terry offered.

"Oh, no, thank you so much, but I'm fine, Sergeant," she replied politely, her tone soft and gracious.

As the conversation continued, the elevator doors suddenly opened, and Jake stepped out, his presence commanding attention as he entered the bullpen.

His eyes lit up with surprise and delight as he spotted Y/n standing among his colleagues.

"Hey, everyone!" Jake exclaimed, a wide grin spreading across his face as he made his way over to Y/n. "What's going on?". He squeezed Y/n's side gently before leaning in to greet her with a kiss, "I didn't expect to see you here sweetheart”

"I was just in the neighborhood and thought I'd drop by to say hi to you and meet your amazing team," Y/n replied. "I've heard so much about all of you, and I couldn't resist the opportunity to finally put faces to names."

"Well, guys," Jake said with a playful smirk, addressing his team with a twinkle in his eye, "now that you've met her, do you finally believe that my very real, definitely not imaginary, girlfriend exists?"

The team chuckled, nodding in agreement, and exchanged sheepish glances.

Santiago couldn't resist one last attempt at humor, her curiosity getting the better of her. "Are we sure Jake didn't pay her to be his girlfriend?".

"Dammit is this so hard to believe?" Jake asked as he wrapped an arm around Y/n's shoulders.

—xx—

@dilflover-3

#jake peralta x you #jake peralta x reader #jake peralta #b99 #jake peralta fluff #b99 imagine #brooklyn nine nine

[vidavalor]

"You love trains": Crowley & Aziraphale inspired 'North by Northwest'

Putting my film studies background to good use here with some film history & historical context under the cut.

The "what does the J stand for?" exchange in The Blitz, Part 1 and the inability for the audience to initially understand what Aziraphale is mouthing in The Blitz, Part 2 are both references to Hitchcock's classic spy thriller, 'North by Northwest'. I didn't link the clip that goes along with The Blitz, Part 2 in case some of you have never seen this film because it would ruin your experience of it. (Definitely watch it if you have not as it's a masterpiece.) Since The Blitz scenes are taking place in 1941 and 'North by Northwest' was released 18 years later in 1959, Crowley and Aziraphale aren't referencing the film in the dialogue but, instead, could be presumed to be the source *of* the dialogue in the film... just like how Shakespeare lifted Crowley's love poetry for 'Antony & Cleopatra'... and the 'North by Northwest'-referencing part of The Blitz, Part 1 *is referencing* the 'Antony and Cleopatra' reference because it's the reveal of Crowley's first name. But... it gets even better...

The writer of 'North by Northwest' was legendary Hollywood screenwriter Ernest Lehman, whom we're now presuming to have been a friend of probably at least Aziraphale's. Lehman wrote a dozen or so classic films and, outside of 'North by Northwest', is most famous for writing adaptations of several famous musicals, including the adapted screenplay for... 'The Sound of Music.' But, no, somehow, we aren't done yet with how amazing this is lol.

The thing that makes this all even funnier is that 'North by Northwest' is responsible for probably the most famous train metaphor in cinema. I'll spoil just this bit as it won't really ruin the overall movie for you if you haven't seen it but don't go any further than here if you don't want to be spoiled at all. If you've already seen it, you totally know what I mean. *laughs*

In 1959, when this film was released, you still couldn't really show sex on screen in a mainstream film. If you showed two people in a bedroom at all, they were cisgender, heterosexual and married and they slept in two separate beds. The level of sex happening in the above clip was *wild* for the era and the fact that it was put into the film the way it is-- that an unmarried woman picks up a hot guy on a train and they sleep together and she's still the heroine of the film and all of that-- was really nothing short of feminist revolution in a film in this era.

The film has a famous "love scene" of sorts that follows not long after the one I linked above, where the two of them are in a cabin on the train and starting to get it on but constraints of cinema coding at the time limited how far it could go. So, to imply that the main characters do, in fact, sleep together, the film famously cuts away to a shot of the train entering a tunnel-- making the train itself symbolic of sex. Because of how famous the film overall--and this scene in particular--became, it became a thing to use trains euphemistically for sex in other cinematic works following it. There is literally no way that Crowley and Aziraphale have not seen this movie so while Aziraphale was happy to make The Bentley into a sexual metaphor while angling for the car keys, Crowley is half-heartedly griping in flirty response by continually referencing trains, another sexual mode of transportation-- the one that that they inspired lol. Hence Aziraphale's bemused little lololol-but-won't-give-him-the-satisfaction-of-seeing-my-amusement face here:

Sunglassed!Cary Grant is Crowley and the old movie chemistry and the semi-coded flirty banter and someone please, please write a fic where Aziraphale says "I don't particularly like the book I've started"-- I will pay you lol.

#ineffable husbands #aziracrow #good omens #good omens 2 #good omens meta #crowley #aziraphale #north by northwest #good omens 1941

[cupids-scream-queen]

A Little Murderess °❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･❀*

❀ female!murderer!reader x poly!ghostface ❀

Part 4 // 1.7k words

-> Part 1 // -> Part 2 // -> Part 3

Warnings: stalking! Tame chapter, I know.

°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･❀*ੈ✩‧₊˚⋆.ೃ࿔*:･

Summary: You've just moved to a new town after the death of your little brother and stepfather with your mother. You're not ashamed of what you do to cope with the deaths; especially when you make two new friends who you might have more in common with than you thought...

°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･❀*ੈ✩‧₊˚⋆.ೃ࿔*:･

Over the next two days, you got closer with the gang. You still couldn’t shake the feeling of Billy and Stu being somehow related to your strange phone calls, but until you had concrete proof, you weren’t going to say anything. Even if they were related to it, you wanted to make sure of it, and twist their minds around themselves just as they’ve done to you.

Out of the two of them, Stu was the one to get the closest to you. Despite his girlfriend being Right There, Stu would still make flirtatious comments towards you, and you’d try your best to deflect them as best you could. You didn’t want to risk Tatum or Sidney throwing you out of the group just because of a horny teenage boy named Stuart of all things.

Randy was also making comments, but you were more open to flirting back, even though you could see it visibly annoyed Stu and quite possibly even Billy. You didn’t care though, since they had girlfriends—it was their fault they weren’t single, after all. After a lot of pleading from the gang, you eventually traded phone numbers with them all—and you quickly found your time being invaded increasingly by Stu.

“Are you fond of Psycho for being bloody or for being a Hitchcock film?” He asked one night, and you had to suppress yourself from asking if the only thing that made a film ‘horror’ in his opinion was blood. Because you knew the answer was a yes.

“Hitchcock, if I’m being honest,” You answered, scribbling down your algebra homework. It didn’t have to be perfect, you reminded yourself. It just had to be good enough. “I don’t mind bloody films, but I just think most of the tropes are over-used.”

“Naw, they’re over-used in unique ways every time,” Stu asserted, and you laughed at him.

“They’re not! Every slasher has the same plot. Evil man in mask, gutted teenager, girl with tits, some other unrelated teenage girl that stops the evil man. Same thing, fifty-five gallons of fake blood per kill, unrealistic,” You ranted, and Stu giggled at your anger.

“And how many gallons of blood makes it realistic?” He questioned, and you could feel your face heat up. There was no way he’d know if you gave him the right answer.

“Technically one and a half gallons, since that’s all a human body can hold,” You said quietly. Stu was silent, before asking the million-dollar question.

“Why the fuck would a girl like you know a fact like that?”

“Why would you know that it’s a true statement, hmm?” You shot back playfully, before finally asking. “And how come you seem to know why I’d know that fact?”

“A lucky guess, pussycat,” He said quietly. You figured it was a clue. You had to defeat Ghostface, and Stu just moved up on the suspect list. “Didn’t mean nothin’ by it.”

“Right,” You slowly said, and moved a few papers around on your desk. “Well, I’ve got to do algebra work, so…”

“You want me to leave you alone?” Stu finished, and you smiled.

“Yes. Good-bye, Stuart Little,” You said, and you finished your homework. An hour later, the phone rang. This time, you knew it wasn’t Stu.

“Hello Mystery Man,” You greeted, and the voice on the phone was exactly who you’d thought it would be.

“Hello, you alone tonight or is your mother there?”

“If you were properly stalking me, you’d know she’s passed out on the living room couch,” You joked, and Ghostface laughed.

“Have you any guesses as to who I am?”

“I have guesses on what two people you might be,” You slyly walked by your windows, smirking. “But you know, I won’t share them with you until I’m solid on them.”

“Two people? You’re a really strange detective. What makes you think there’s two of us?”

“The fact that I can hear two people breathing right now,” You deadpanned, and you could hear shuffling on the other end of the phone. “And the fact that every time you call me, it’s like you forgot what we talked about last time.”

“You’re a lot sharper than you let on, Y/N,” Ghostface purred, and you smiled at the praise. “It’d be a shame if you don’t defeat me.”

“Defeat you how? Do I just guess who you are and if it’s right, BINGO, I live, or do I have to kill you?” You finally asked the question that’s been weighing down on you. If Ghostface was who you suspected it to be, you knew you couldn’t kill them—it would hurt the friend group too much.

“Guess it right, and you live. It’s an easy game. If you don’t guess it right, SLASH, you’re dead and gutted like a fucking pig,” Gutted. You smiled to yourself, realizing you just got another clue. “You have only a few more days left, you know. I’d start working on my theories a little more seriously than hanging out with Sidney or Tatum.”

“But not Billy or Stu, right?” You shot back, before hanging up the phone. Got ‘em.

•❃°•°❀°•°❃•

Billy and Stu looked at each other, right after you hung up.

“She knows, man,” Stu’s eyes were wide. “She knows.”

“She’s messing with us, there’s no way in hell she knows. She’s probably just saying random ass names to try and scare us,” Billy rationalized, but a tiny part of him was worried. Did you find out? It wasn’t like he talked to you much at all, but then he had a lightbulb moment. “Do you call her outside of trying to scare her?”

“A bit, yeah,” Stu admitted. “Just to try and find out more about her, y’know? She’s not gonna give every piece of information about herself to a psychopath on the phone threatening to kill her.”

“You’re a fucking moron, Stu,” Billy pinched the bridge of his nose. “She’s figured out the speech patterns.”

“There’s no way, the voice changer—”

“Only changes voices, not speech patterns!” Billy shouted, and Stu tried to make himself look smaller. “You can’t just talk to her like you normally would, asswipe! She figured it out because of slang!”

“No way she’s that observant,” Stu tried, but Billy cut him off. “She is, you dickrag! She’s a fucking murderer, she’s hella observant!” Billy was shaking with rage, and Stu put an arm around him, but Billy shook it off. “Don’t fucking touch me, not until we figure out how to deal with her. If she gets it right, what are we gonna do? We were banking on her not knowing.”

“I don’t think she’s going to care, Billy,” Stu pointed out, and he was right. You wouldn’t care, not really. You’d be amused at their attempt on you, sure, but you wouldn’t report them. You had too many of your own crimes to care about the crimes of two self-diagnosed psychopathic teenagers with a phone line. “If anything, she’d join in.”

“And three is the magic number?” Billy snorted. “This isn’t schoolhouse rock. Two, Stu, two! That’s all we need, and that’s all there ever will be. Two! We can’t have three Ghostfaces running around, slashing people left and right. Three is how people get caught. Three is how people start talking. Three is when people get left behind.”

“Are you two always in my bushes?” They looked up, to find you standing in front of their hiding spot. “I found out a while ago, dumbasses.”

“I told you she wouldn’t care,” Stu murmured, and you looked at him pointedly.

“I never said I didn’t care, but you’re not wrong. It’s a bit pathetic finding you two in my bushes in front of my house, that’s all,” You played with your familiar bowie knife. “Now, what am I going to do to defeat the magical and mystical Ghostface?”

“Not kill us?” Stu tried, and Billy hit him upside the head.

“No, not kill you,” You agreed, and you pointed the blade at Billy. “Tell me your plans. All of them. I’m going to join you two. You are smart, I’ll give you that. But not smart enough to properly kill without getting caught.”

“Hey, for your information, we killed—”

“Casey? I know. And her boyfriend, I can’t remember his name right now,” You twiddled with the blade. “And Sidney’s mother, right?”

“How—”

“I’m good with my head,” You smiled sweetly, and the two boys looked at you, awestruck. “No complaints with it yet.”

“Are you fucking serious?” Billy asked, and you nodded.

“I’m serious. Why, watching me kill wasn’t a good enough show for you? I knew someone was watching me, I’m not stupid. Your lack of faith is disturbing,” You grinned as the boys shuddered, and you knew you were hitting their confidence, hard.

“Fine. Fine! Come to Stu’s at midnight tomorrow night, we’ll explain,” Billy finally cracked, and you grinned.

“I’m not stupid. If you try to kill me—”

“You’ll kill us,” They answered simultaneously. “We heard you the first time.”

“Good! Well, goodnight boys! And I’d wash your jeans, that’s where my neighbor’s dog pisses,” You blew them a kiss, and skipped your way back into your house, where they could see you in the window of your bedroom. You flipped them off again, before closing your curtains with the familiar claw clip.

“What should we do?” Stu asked, and Billy looked at him.

“Use her as an asset, what else would we do?”

•❃°•°❀°•°❃•

You were proud of yourself, that was for sure. Though you didn’t entirely trust the two, you were fairly confident that they wouldn’t kill you. You knew too much, and you knew that they’d try to use you for whatever skills you had. It didn’t offend you as much as it annoyed you that you’re getting involved with crimes more elaborate than your own. You weren’t sure if it was wise of you, but you knew you wanted to get involved. To see what, exactly, the two idiots were planning. And how you could be of assistance.

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-> Part 5

#billy loomis #billy loomis x reader #ghostface #ghostface x reader #ghostface x y/n #scream #stu matcher x reader #stu matcher x you #slasher fucker #slashers x reader

[fadeintoyou1993]

It's been a week since the discovery of Jason Blossom's body. But his death is not the first, nor would it be the last casualty that the town of Riverdale would suffer. The Twilight Drive-In where I work, my home away from home, a piece of town history, is closing for good, just when we needed a place to escape to the most. With Sheriff Keller knocking on every door and neighbor suspecting neighbor, Riverdale, every day that passes, is becoming more like Salem during the witch trials. And meanwhile, the girl next door, our friendly neighborhood Hitchcock blonde, Betty Cooper, was wrestling with the knowledge that her best friend, Archie Andrews, was caught up in a forbidden romance. [...] "Dear Diary, Sheriff Keller doesn't know what I know, that Riverdale High's music teacher, Geraldine Grundy, was at Sweetwater River the morning Jason Blossom went missing, and that since Archie was also there, they could have been there together." [...] "Dear Diary, love makes you do crazy things, and maybe some of what I did was wrong, but maybe… Maybe I was right about some things, too. Maybe Ms. Grundy was dangerous in some way. Tomorrow morning, when we wake up, the world will, yet again, be changed."

RIVERDALE (2017—2023) Chapter Four: The Last Picture Show

#riverdaleedit #riverdale #tuserdee #userlindsay #userjacko #userkraina #userrachel #userbecca #usermorgan #userlourdes #usersadie #tuserrobin #gif #mine #riverdale episodes #jughead literally so busy losing his home he said alright betts take the narration rq im going thru some shit...... #truly amazing what an amazing fucknin show do you guys know about my friend riverdale

[ghostchems]

a grave date - preview! mary goore x female!reader

a/n: been thinkin on this for a while and finally am writing it. this will be multiple "parts" but all will be posted together as one complete fic. stay tuned! :D

one

One of your New Year’s resolutions is to “embrace the spooky”. You are regretting it now that you’ve decided to take a shortcut through the local graveyard on your way home. The cool air pricks your cheeks, the temperature having dropped drastically once the sun went down. Your hands are shoved deep into your sweatshirt pocket and you keep your eyes on the path in front of you. Another one of your resolutions is to make more time for friends, which is why you’re walking through the graveyard in the first place. One of your closest friends lives within walking distance of your apartment but you’ve barely seen each other over the last year due to busy schedules and lack of effort. Not anymore, though! You’re being social and remembering how much fun it can be to catch up with friends and do activities.

You’ve been a bit of a shut-in — but at the moment, you can’t wait to be back home. Fog clings to the trees and obelisks, dim lights spaced out along your path barely fighting off the dark. There are some urban legends, some completely made up but some based on historical true crime. About fifty odd years ago, a woman was here visiting the grave of her mother and ended up sadly being murdered as she mourned. People talk of sightings, calling her Mother’s Ghost, but that is just a load of local gossip, right?

Right?

“Evenin’! Are ya lost?” You’re just about to spiral when he calls out to you, a lanky arm in the air to catch your attention as you slow your walk to a stop, eyes focusing on him. Oh, lord. He sounded cheerful, polite but your eyes land on his face covered in blood, throwing several red flags up in your brain. You sputter, blinking to make sure what you’re seeing is real.

“I’m trying to get to Hitchcock Ave.” Finally, the words come out in one quick breath. The man comes closer, the faint light allowing you to see him more clearly. He’s lanky, has long legs and skinny arms complete with a sleeveless, ripped t-shirt.

“Ah, you’re already on the right track.” He’s standing about an arms length of you now, scratching the back of his head. You should be afraid of this man but there’s something about his demeanor and the kindness in his voices make you decide to at least hear what he has to say. “If you go a lil’ bit further down the path til’ you reach the crypts and then make a left, the Hitchcock entrance is straight ahead.” He gives you direct eye contact with his cool green eyes while also using his hand to point along with his directions. You don’t say anything, silently digesting his words. His eyes roam your features and his full lips start to tug into a small grin. He lifts his hands up in surrender. “Promise I’m tellin’ the truth. If you have any trouble, you come right back here and I’ll bend over so you can kick my ass.”

You snort. You can’t help it! In no way were you expecting him to say that.

“Alright, alright. Thank you.” You smile at him and his grin only grows. He waves you off as you continue down the path. There are a few times you look back to see him lingering in the same spot, seeing you off at least until you reach the crypts. Who the hell is he? Was he just hanging out in the cemetery? Is he a ghost? You follow his directions and end up right on Hitchcock like he said and something about him helping you out makes your heart flutter.

Still, a strange feeling comes over you for the rest of your walk home.

#mary goore x reader #mary goore x female reader #mary goore #repugnant #repugnant fic #mary goore fic

[celluloidbroomcloset]

OK, a wee personal thing. Skip over if you don't care - I, too, often don't read about the personal lives of people on the internet!

I've written about what OFMD as a whole has meant to me in terms of coming out, but also...it has meant other things.

I'm actually fucking excited about film analysis again. I went to film school, I've got a Master's in Film Studies, I've worked as a critic (and a clickbait writer), I co-host a film podcast, but I haven't felt really excited about analysis in a good while. Writing meta, and talking with others about it, the past few months has reminded me how much fun it is to dig into a piece of media and pull it apart and see how it works. This in turn has made me go back to old texts and start reading film theory again and actually move forward with writing a book on Hitchcock I've been talking about for, like, years.

I'm also excited about writing fiction again. I have (another) Master's in Creative Writing, I work as a fiction editor, but I haven't really been into my own work. I've been shopping around a steampunk SF/F novel (about, as it happens, pirates...), but that is a tiring and thankless job and involves a lot of disappointment. Getting into writing fanfiction for OFMD has, in turn, made me actually pick up steam on a queer horror novel that I've had on the backburner for a while and that I'm really excited about now.

Since coming out, I've been a lot happier, just as a human being. I've been way more willing to do things that I want to without considering if other people are going to judge me about them. I'm not concealing things about myself. I feel better about men (and man have I been mad at men for a long time) and other people in general. I'm less anxious. I'm excited about stuff that I haven't been excited for in a good long while.

So, yeah, Season 3 or not, I am immeasurably grateful to this show, the cast, the writers and directors, and to the existence of its fandom. No matter what, it is net positive for me.

#ofmd #our flag means death #stede bonnet #edward teach #crew of the revenge #personal