#Especially since it was originally supposed to

[hopeyarts]

Just A Thought About the Hypocrisy Behind Star’s Development Disney’s Wish

Just a thought but I find it so funny (not) that Disney said they didn’t want Star being too much like the Genie or Maui, so they reduced him down to what we got now… all while having 7 characters being the literal copies of the Seven Dwarves. Either they thought this was a stupidly great idea or they’re trynna sabotage themselves. They did that anyways.

I don’t care what form Star takes as long as it makes sense and isn’t there just to serve as a potential McDonalds toy for kids. The shapeshifting was a nice touch to the character especially since it is said throughout the movie that “everyone and everything is a star” and with Star shapeshifting into different creatures that would’ve reflected that saying.

Additionally, Star is an important character of the movie, but if you’re just going to have him let animals speak and accidentally cause chaos then that’s your cue to keep brainstorming. He’s supposed to help our protagonist, not start trouble and make things worse. The light gave trouble to Asha because King Magnifico now suspects something and then he turns into a man possessed by an evil book. The hijinks Star caused in the laboratory created an explosion, and he almost got Asha caught when he constantly tried to fly to Magnifico during the This Is The Thanks I Get song. Admittedly, Star did some useful stuff in the movie but that could’ve been solved by Asha either way. He wasn’t needed.

I know everyone and their grandma knows about the deleted scenes, but I’m gonna bring it up anyways. During the Finding Flazino deleted scene, Star helped heal Flazino’s heart/soul (personally I think it was temporarily due to the extent of Star’s powers and that Flazino’s wish was consumed. If he healed Flazino completely then that just further proves my point), but he helped relieve the pain. Star was like a pain-reliever almost. That is useful. That is what Star should’ve been- a physical beacon of hope. Hope is a temporary feeling, and what Star did in that deleted scene was give Flazino back some of that hope even if it was for a limited amount of time.

In the movie, Star doesn’t do that. In fact- he doesn’t do anything of the sort. People only look at him with fascination because he’s a literal star from the sky and they love seeing magic (latter is part of the reason why they moved to Rosas in the first place). There is no depth behind the character and bro is just smiling every minute thinking everything’s a game.

It’s also SO FUNNY (still not) that this movie was supposed to be the origin of the wishing star. That never happened. And don’t say that I’m A Star told us his origin or background or anything because that song answered nothing. There’s also the problem of Star being the wishing star of Disney, and them just forgetting about the Blue Fairy descending down from the sky as the original one. She’s the real wishing star hands down. For the sake of focusing on Wish as a movie itself, I won’t get into that.

All in all, if they wanted both a marketable plushie and an interesting character, then maybe keep that healing ability? Or some other way that makes him both on the Disney brand AND useful. He’s cute and all, but when I see him and remember what he’s done for the plot…all I can think of is the talking animals. But don’t use the excuse of reducing his character because you’re afraid of similarities to older ones when you have a whole EASTER EGG for the Seven Teens that is of them looking and acting like the Seven Dwarves.

The hypocrisy behind Star’s development and that of the Seven Teens is so blatantly absurd. I’m not buying what you’re saying. Make it make sense, Disney.

Waiting for the Wish developers’ NDAs to expire.

#wish #disney wish #wish 2023 #wish movie #disney asha #asha #wish asha #king magnifico #wish king magnifico #disney king magnifico #magnifico #wish fandom #wishing star #wish star #disney star #disney starboy #star wish #disney #hopeyarts #art of wish #hypocrisy #disney is just being dumb atp

[frobby]

I think one of the funniest framings of the first ep of blue exorcist is hypothetically Yukio and bon met cuz they originally shared a dorm only for Yukio to immediately leave and not return until a week later and now he's his teacher

#I'm fully assuming Yukio went home for his father's funeral prep cuz it would be weird if he didn't #It's actually really weird we don't see him the day of but the funeral had already ended when we see rin grieving so that's prolly why #I get its a narrative set up so we don't see Yukio since he left until he's revealed cuz rin is the protag but still #Anyway that was prolly really weird for bon especially cuz it's never mentioned #I'm also assuming the exwires didn't know Yukio would be teaching cuz it was a sudden change since Shiro was supposed to teach originally #I'm just now realizing this would stress me the fuck out #I cant believe rin went to school right after his father's funeral like take a week off or something #None of these notes are actually about this post #Take all of this as you will #blue exorcist #ao no exorcist #yukio okumura #ryuuji suguro

[give-grian-rights]

guys i need y'all to remember that superheroes have existed for So Many years . so you get to ask yourselves "woww why didn't you save them" . Superman where were you during the 1986 Challenger shuttle disaster . Spider-Man how dare you let 9/11 happen

#with 9/11 its especially funny because like. i dont think the comics animated series and movies COULD just ignore 9/11 #because having the twin towers would be like disrespectful. but by not having them it also implies these heroes Let it happen #especially if it was being produced during a time where they Should be there . im talking specifically about toby's spider-man i guess #since as you may or may not know . there was a SHORT LIVED promo for the first movie which included the twin towers #and i just checked and the original release date for it was SUPPOSED TO BE november 2001 #so therefore i can say that he probably graduated in 2001 after the spring semester of high school and therefore was out of school . #9/11 #spider-man #superman #sueprheroes #comics #mika-posts

[todayisafridaynight]

matrophobia

#rgg #ryu ga gotoku #ryu ga gotoku 7 #yakuza series #yakuza like a dragon #yakuza 7 #masumi arakawa #masato arakawa #snap sketches #oh my god im going to pass out but my tag ramble is necessary. like especially this time #i was just gonna draw his Actual mom but then i wanted to get saucy with it. also i miss drawing wolves but theres a purpose i promise #ive loved wolves since i was a kid since theyre like. family-oriented and shit. of course a lonely loser ass kid gonna think thats cool #when i think of wolves i think of family- which is what you should think of with your mom right #but a lot of people know wolves are monsters so. ysee where im goin with this one #the flowers and thorns arent Just Random i Double Promise: i snagged inspo from her flower shirt #i originally had the roses be purple to highlight that buuut i didnt want any more color aside from red #did i have anymore notes..... i dont think so. thats all i had to explain :) this is mid ik i just needed it done tho im TIRED #OH HER MULTIPLE EYES its supposed to be inspired by her necklace :) the third eye has a purpose im too tired to explain rn tho #the jo alternative was more depressing since i wanted to put emphasis on his feelings of inadequacy in that #BUT i figured hey. let me have a /lil/ happiness today right. i can do that at least let me draw that at least #ignore the fact i got more bad news while drawing this and almost abandoned it as a result but we push through :) #in any case. im subjecting arakawa to more horrors tomorrow i guess sorry king youve had it good too long. i GUESS #to round this off. Obligatory Vent Portion because myyyyy GOD. i have nightmares about my mom every night #its been that way since like. february- ive always had nightmares bout her but theyve ramped up since The Event #and for the most part i just wake up tired and despondent but sometimes the nightmares just make me wake up gasping for air #like i was TRULY just fighting for my life then and itd been a while since i had a nightmare like that #and just. coupled with how trash my months been. and now that im comm free.(dm me;) ) i figured id express the soul a bit #alright NOW im done. im pretty sure. goodnight everyone come back for part ii of. whatever this was #IM ALL OUT OF TAGS NOW LMAO THATS EPIC ok bye fr

[shimmershy]

🌼Thank you, I'll say goodbye soon

Though its the end of the world,

Don't blame yourself now🌼

#safeutdr #undertale #song is goodbye to a world by porter robinson btw #okay so i like to associate certain music artists to characters that fit the general vibe i get from their music #for example i associate chara with mother mother and the oh hellos #and i feel like porter robinson fits asriel pretty well. especially since goodbye to a world always makes me think of him #my art #digital art #frisk #asriel #asriel dreemurr #frisk dreemurr #frisk undertale #asriel undertale #goodbye to a world #porter robinson #i love how this turned out but OH MY GOSH. drawing all those flowers was a pain i almost gave up. #I'm glad i didn't because they turned out alright. this is one of the most cohesive pieces I've ever done i think. like the bg matches #the characters #it was originally supposed to be less detailed but I'm glad i went ahead and shaded it and everything. :)

[andthebeanstalk]

It took me like 10 years to be able to recognize when I am having a flashback because the movies told me the whole thing was supposed to be very cinematic, inside and out.

In reality, for most people, it just looks like they are hardcore zoning out.

And internally, it seems like flashbacks are only a full visual-audio movie-worthy experience for very few people.

Which is equally valid and definitely horrifying, but since I thought all flashbacks were supposed to be like that, it was very hard to figure out that "my brain suddenly leaping back in time to a prior emotional state of being from recalling a traumatic experience" = "flashback."

#original #mental illness #mental health #flashbacks #ptsd #cptsd #c ptsd #Logically #I may know where I am. But I am contending with a nervous system that suddenly believes I may be dying. #And coming back down from that is very hard and very painful. Especially since a flashback means a disconnect from our present reality. #Try telling your body it is safe when you don't quite remember if that is true from moment to moment. #Anyway today's flashback was triggered by: i was hungry and saw a parking sign. I mean HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO PLAN FOR THAT??? #I was on my way to a restaurant! I was about to eat! #I didn't know a parking sign was gonna be a trigger when it never has before! The fuck! [Angry ptsd autism noises]

[puppyeared]

who up seeing their disorder in a fictional character but feel like its not their place to put a name on it

#id have to be waterboarded before i can talk abt how i see a lot of my adhd and personality in mitsumi iwakura let alone post it #idk how to talk abt this without feeling like im talking over or invalidating ppls experiences relating with a character #someone was talking abt how ppl tie laios' autism to special interest and social difficulties but not much else which kinda flattens it #and then went into a respectful in depth analysis of other autistic behaviour that laios exhibits and it wasnt phrased meanly #its fascinating and important to me to hear someone explain a little bit abt traits that they recognized and often go overlooked #because it does help me learn more about it. but i think thats also where hesitancy kicks in when it comes to depicting it accurately #like i have adhd and some of my adhd symptoms overlap with autism (time blindness and pattern seeking behaviour) but that only means #it feels familiar to me even without having autism. on top of that traits arent always cleanly determined as being /caused/ by #a disorder. to understand my environment i compare it to something unrelated but similar to make it more familiar and for the longest time #i thought that was a personality thing and not an information processing thing since i loved playing pretend in my head as a kid #so if you make a character who experiences that hoping to reach people that also experience that and tell them its not weird or #smth youre making up like. thats the goal. ppl who dont get it arent expected to it just means it doesnt cater to them but it helps them #become familiar to it yk? since i dont have autism myself i dont feel confident i can depict it properly or explain it in my own words #but that doesnt mean im trying to dismiss it or try and cut it out completely.. ill just leave the floor open to someone who /can/ #a lot of issues around fanon depictions are when smth is baselessly popularized or a characters personality and behavior is flattened #especially to fit them into a trending meme. its harmless and its supposed to be for fun but it gets tricky when you drag things that #need to be carefully explained beforehand or else it gets lost in translation. like that tweet abt 'hyperfixating' on cooking pasta #once it becomes popular language usually the original meaning is left out for the sake of simplifying it for everyone that when it #circles back theres a sort of hesitancy like. am i using it the way it was intended or am i unknowingly using the popularized version of it #actually thats probably why i felt wrongfooted during diagnosis bc it felt like i was misusing the words i heard to describe what i felt #i /know/ i see a lot of myself in mitsumi because our minds are always somewhere else and we tend to put good faith first and for me #that personal connection is enough. but idk it feels like its always gonna have to be 'palatable' first before i can talk abt it openly #mad respect to writers and creators who stick to their story even if theres the looming fear of ppl misinterpreting it and letting them #have it.. its been almost 2 weeks and i am so close to deleting that m3 dunmeshi drawing bc ppl keep saying chilchuck wouldnt have 200 HP #IT LITERALLY SAYS I MADE IT WHILE WATCHING EP 1. I USED EARTHBOUND LOGIC AND I WASNT EVEN TAKING IT SERIOUSLY CHILL #yapping

[chibishortdeath]

Some attempts at a design for Selena :3. The second image is inspired by the wedding in Haunted Castle, but I changed Simon’s outfit cause idk I just can’t picture him being comfortable in a suit.

The last two of these are way more headcanon-y lol. They’re under a cut mostly in case my headcanons and story ideas change d(^^ ). One of them was inspired by a Kikuo song I was listening to while drawing lol, the song “Let’s Go to Heaven”.

#castlevania #castlevania games #selena belmont #castlevania selena #castlevania ii #castlevania 2 #castlevania simon’s quest #simon’s quest #castlevania ii: simon's quest #haunted castle #simon belmont #akumajou dracula #akumajo dracula #art post #my art #I remember seeing someone make a post somewhere about how it was weird that #a lot of the cut items from the first Castlevania were things like high heels and a love letter and stuff #I wonder if Simon’s wife/girlfriend was supposed to be a character at one point in it and she got cut for some reason #idk it’s interesting to me that she’s only ever appeared in like deliberately noncanon content ya know? #like Haunted Castle was even called not a Castlevania game by its own lead director #the two novels with Simon girlfriends in them were never intended to be canon just fun side stuff #especially the ones that were choose your own adventure books lol I love the art style in one of those #anyway I’ve been trying to think of ways to write her lately but its so easy to end up accidentally falling into annoying tropes alas 💀💀💀 #especially ones the series has already used before oof #currently my idea so far is since Simon himself is kinda the chosen one hero guy trope in CV1 #and ends up subverting that trope by genuinely failing a ton getting hated by the public and possibly dying at the end #maybe Selena might work as initially the damsel in distress and call to action trope and subverts that later???? #I also have always thought she ends up the Mysterious Woman somehow hmmmm #it’s a hard headcanon to incorporate without just pulling a Dracula X chronicles and oh no she’s a vampire aaaaa but that’s been done 💀 #I am also aware that not everything you write has to be 100% completely new and original and perfect but aaaaaaa

[fiepige]

Venom!Hobie Cat-Symbiote AU!

Okay so I might have made an AU of my AU...

It's based on my Venom!Hobie au but with a slightly (?) lighter tone in the sense that Hobie actually gets along well with his symbiote. Though they initially mostly get along due to shared mutural trauma... (But more about that later)

This version of the symbiote is more animalistic and usually communicates with Hobie through emotions- sorta projecting its own emotions and feelings towards him to let him know how it feels about something, though it might also communicate via single words or short sentences but that's pretty rare.

So, I'll do like I did in my original Venom!Hobie post and focus on the Design first:

Since they get along the symbiote feels safe around Hobie and thus it'll often "extend" itself outside of him and take the shape of a (freaky looking) cat - Kinda like how VENOM is able to partially seperate itself from Eddie while still being tethered to him:

Like this but they actually get along and the symbiote looks kinda like this:

(Once again- I CANNOT draw but the brainrot is stronger so I need to share this)

(I didn't draw the symbiote goo that would extend from it to tether it to Hobie but it's there I swear!)

Since this is Spider-Punk's symbiote I wanted some of the spikes to carry over in this design

I haven't quite decided if it should have the "running-mascara" look (buttom drawing) for its eyes like Spider-Punk's mask has or not so lemme know what you guys think?

The spikes are used as a way for it to communicate to others as a way to make its body language more expressive (though it only shows itself around people it really trusts so it rarely uses them as it still just communicates its emotions directly to Hobie when it needs to)

And like with Venom!Hobie the spikes are reminiscent of symbiote teeth

When it's relaxed/happy the spikes will be pressed down towards its body - making it easy to pet- if somebody would dare approach it that is

Hobie pets it a lot as it usually sits on his shoulder when he walks around (when there's nobody around that is)

The symbiote is still made of the same goo as regular symbiotes so it does not feel like petting a cat at all- Hobie doesn't mind but most other people find it rather unpleasant to touch

The "fuzzy" look is just the symbiote goo trying to imitate cat fur

The reason the symbiote takes this form is partially because it's more animalistic and likes physical affection (from people it trusts, it will bite your hand off if it doesn't like/trust you and you try to pet it) and partially because Hobie is a cat person and it used it as a method to make Hobie like it more when they first "met" + petting it helped Hobie calm down and still does

It's gotten pretty good at mimicking cat noises including purring

It'll usually stay on Hobie's shoulder or sit in his lap like this, it's still tethered to him so it can't go that far without him - not that it really wants to anyways

If it likes someone it'll rub itself against their legs and mimic purring noises

Okay now we move on to the

Origin:

This is my current headcanon for this AU but as always feel free to share your thoughts/ideas/inputs if you have any <3

Hobie and the symbiote "met" at one of Oscorp's labs

Hobie was living as a homeless teen (13-14 years old having escaped an abusive household a few months prior) and was captured by Oscorp to be used for their symbiote experimentations

Hobie was an easy target as he had just been bitten by the radioactive spider a few hours prior and thus he was starting to suffer from the fever the bite gave him

Hobie was to be fused with a new kind of symbiote

The symbiote had been made to make people more susceptible to orders- making them less inclined to think for themselves

But in order to make that possible the symbiote had been put through some rather painful and extreme experiments- making it more "dead" than alive at this point

When it's fused with Hobie, who's still very sick at this point, the spider bite is still working its magic on Hobie's body and thus it also partially heals the symbiote

Both Hobie and the symbiote are terrified of their situation as they're put in holding cells made specifically for symbiotes.- Their only comfort is each other.

The symbiote takes on the cat like appearance to soothe Hobie after being subjects to a particularly bad experiment

Since Hobie's gotten powers from both the spider bite and the symbiote they quickly become the subjects for many inhumane and painful experiments as the scientists futilely try to figure out how to replicate the symbiote (as they're unaware of the spider bite, thinking the symbiote alone is behind Hobie's new powers)

Due to the symbiote Hobie develops a taste for human flesh

And he gets his first taste of it as he manages to escape the lab during one of their many tests- killing as many guards and scientists on their way out as possible. (This is also the first time they fully transform into Venom!Hobie)

He would later return and burn the lab down completely.

As a result of their treatment at the lab + Hobie's past with his abusive family, both him and the symbiote have developed a deep distrust to other people.

Which is also why Hobie isn't trying to get rid of the symbiote, he considers it his only friend for a long time.

Hobie still loves playing music (which is also how he eventually makes new friends) but has had to make some adjustments due to the symbiote, thus he usually uses both earplugs and noise cancelling earmuffs when he's playing and even then he still gets migraines if he plays for too long or too loud

He still craves human flesh and will usually target cops or anyone associated with Oscorp to sate his hunger.

He doesn't feel bad about killing but will still try not to harm civilians (emphasis on try- sometimes the hunger gets the best of him)

He still operates as Spider-Punk but for a long time he's mostly fueled by his hatred for Oscorp and how they treated him and the symbiote

But as he slowly learns to open up to people he starts to shift his focus onto figting to help people and make the city safer (which means he'll still target cops and Oscorp employees but that's not his only focus anymore) (he also makes an effort to actually save civilians at this point)

Though due to the symbiote and their past this version of Spider-Punk is more prone to just straight up killing his villains (+ he still gotta eat right?)

But I'd like to imagine that this version of Hobie also finds his own community who help him out and accept both him and the symbiote

Giving them kind of a "happy" ending despite this version of Hobie being more messed up and unhinged...

Once again this turned out way longer than I intended lol (I just can't shut up about Venom!Hobie, the brainrot is real!)

Thank you so much for reading!!! <3 <3 <3

(And please let me know if you have any thoughts/inputs/questions about anything I wrote! The brainrot is real and I'll never get tired of talking about this guy)

Also click here if you wanna read more about my Venom!Hobie concept <3

#I'm realising I basically wrote a small fic in the origins section lol #might turn it into a full fic one day? not sure since I kinda spoiled a lot of it here ^^' #will I ever be able to shut up about Venom!Hobie? #no. #I love this guy so much #I could talk about them forever #this was just supposed to just be a short post about the cat symbiote #but I love stuff like this #speculating and coming up with different stories like this is so much fun #especially if they have a lot of ANGST #and yes I know the lab experiment trope has been used a thousand times before but there's a reason behind that! #if it ain't broke don't fix it #also this was the only scenario I could come up with were Hobie would actually bond with his symbiote lol #cause shared trauma <3 #but I'd love to hear from you guys if you have other ideas! #please #I wanna talk about my boy <3 #also this isn't my official headcanon for Venom!Hobie #just a fun au of my au lol #cause I wanted hobie to have a symbiote cat #and that led to all this #also sorry if there's any spelling mistakes or erros but it's literally almost 2 am here lol #I am TIRED #but I wanted to finish this post before I went to bed so here you are <3 #venom!hobie #hobie brown #spider punk #venom hobie #cat symbiote #spider man across the spider verse

[vaxxildamn]

Oof. Currently learning the hard way that safety tools in d&d are essential, no matter the premise, tone, or genre of the campaign and no matter who you're playing with.

#dnd #d&d #5e #safety tools #context: our DM enthusiastically volunteered to run a few connected one-shots despite knowing aboslutely nothing about dnd rules or lore #there are 2 players new to dnd #2 players who have played in a short-lived campaign before #and only 1 player (me) who knows dnd rules-lore-and general etiquette #i didn't want to tell DM how to run his campaign so i didn't think to introduce safety tools.especially since most of us are family members #& especially bc it wasn't supposed to be a full campaign originally #all this to say. i'm learning the hard way that playing without safety tools can get really unfun #my post

[rahabs]

While I'm thinking deeply about this game, though, it's very frustrating to try and read fics for BG3 specifically. Beyond the Reader issue/infestation, which I mentioned already (and that I expected because of the ability to create a custom player character), almost all the pairings involve Astarion so woe be to you if you want something not Astarion-centric. Even if you don't mind consuming Astarion content it gets very frustrating after a point because it seems all the other characters (especially non-Tavs, and I don't really read Tav fics so it's usually one of the other companion pairings, sans Gale because I'm not a fan of Gale/Astarion as a ship despite loving Gale) just exist to comfort or validate Astarion. There's rarely exploration of their own traumas, their own issues--just sad wooby Astarion being comforted. And that's probably 90% of all BG3 fics.

#Strike! The! Balance! #I want more Wyll content #But most of that is Astarion-centric too #And I don't hate Astarion. #He's in my party a decent amount because I am more familiar with building rogues so he's one of my hardest melee hitters #Especially since I'm usually a lorebard if I'm not being a rogue myself #But you know. I wish the other characters got more love #Both by the fandom and by the devs #And I wish all the content wasn't so centred around him? #Not to mention it's usually like. Very OOC for Astarion himself on top of everything. #To the point where I'm left going 'hey did we play the same game and meet the same vampire...' #Which. I suppose there's the complication of Astarion also potentially being the PC #But I've never played his custom origin so I'm not sure if/how dialogue changes. #text #chey.txt

[tea-darling1]

im honestly surprised none of the dreamling fanfic writers, fan art makers and editors (etc.) havent made a reference to 'lovesong' by the cure yet.....

#i apologise if this sounds rude or anything its mostly supposed to be a joke #but honestly it fits #especially since dream i believe is originally inspired by robert smith #with the hair and all #i think #omg robert smith robert gadling #matching #this post has no purpose #im sorry #dreamling #dream of the endless #hob gadling

[singersalvageshop]

rewatching 14x20 moriah really makes me think... it makes me wonder if the spn writers/andrew dabb knew they would never have control of the end of the show

#i just keep wondering what happened behind the scenes that drove them to turn chuck into the final big bad #because it feels like something happened #its not entirely inconsistent with chuck's characterization but i still get the impression that it wasn't their original intention #especially since he was supposed to die way back in s11...... #hmm i have to think about this more #when im not sleep deprived #supernatural

[muraenide]

I'm thinking about how much East Asian mythology is highly spiritual and that's how I perceive Jade to be too when I view the world through his lenses, but it's rather difficult to explain all of them without throwing all the laws of physics, biology, and chemistry out of the window.

#𖦹 ⋆꙳ ⁄ ooc. #// the thing is that it's not as complicated as it's supposed to be #// since the origin of all these spiritual and essence lore originated from the most premdieval animism #// and while animism does not really exist today; the influence it has on present culture is still significant and heavy #// especially when it comes to mythological creatures like merfolk #// they ARE the mythology themselves #// so it makes sense that the way they view the world wouldn't be the same as someone who does not believe in spiritual existence #// e.g. a human who is a realist/materialist/athetist

[mabelsguidetolife]

promotion for silent hill origins: most of your favorite characters are back for a prequel!!!! see where it all began!!!!!

actual silent hill origins: this trucker had a sad childhood….. also alessa is there and, uh, blyramid blead

#haleylyfe #it has a few good ideas but it feels both non-canonical and like nothing is really happening with the main plot #and other ideas feel completely uncecessary or even wrong #the best characters also look really busted in the game #lisa and alessa look really off #the only huge difference with kaufmann is his weight/body type and probably height #and i suppose dahlia could have looked like her design in the time period…… but something about her makes it feel like she’s different #like… a similar woman but different #obviously she hadn’t leaned into the insane prophet aesthetic yet but i think she would’ve worn more makeup like her original counterpart #especially since in-story the school and hospital are certain the gillespie household is a good one #so it would make sense for her imo #thematically i mean #whatever

[noxtivagus]

i'll read more from now on again

#🌙.rambles #so much to just think about n i'm lost in my own lil world #tmrrw gna have to face reality again bcs of school :c but. yk lately this year i think i've already developed lots #this past week has been especially formative. #i crave n yearn.. intimacy so much. i want to just be free like that. bcs i'm safe in my own self n. too much to say but #i think it's lonely. being out a lot today made me realize that. all these barriers in communication is so.. lonely #i want to read so much more for so many reasons but here with what i've already laid out the first reason i'll say is #i want to understand others better i want to even further expand my own thinking n just learn so much more #n then.. goddamn i want to write too. write so much so i could #it hurts. it hurts so much i feel like i know n think n feel more than i should n the wisdom is breaking me apart i don't know how to put it #into words. maybe that's why i've been afraid to start new things despite my insatiable curiosity n passion. #afraid of how it'll fill me with even more & i'm not sure how i'd manage. i feel as though i understand life differently than most.. #most people around me at least. i see myself in musicians. artists. writers. #people who create once they've taken in much as well. people like me but.. it's been rather disturbing when i realize how most of them end #up like. n i wonder. i just wonder so much. n wish n dream that maybe i could end up differently. #i want so desperately to break out of the chains of reality of society of.. all those. idead that are taught to us n internalized ever since #we were born? i don't know how to write it and i don't think words could ever do it justice. but i want to truly be who i am at heart. #and yet being self-aware i suppose is confusing in such a bittersweet way. there's so much more that i do not know and cannot grasp #& then sometimes at the end of the day i just wonder n dream about if ever i would be more connected with reality. with this world. #regardless of how much one may put out to the world.. it'll never be understood or known in the same way as the one it originates from. #it's lonely. sad. but it makes what we can convey and relate with much more meaningful. n i'm so grateful for those things #n there's also just so much that relates to it n. yeah. is part of it like #the unconscious subconscious n conscious mind #for fuck's sake i want to learn so much it's overwhelming. psychoanalysis n neuroscience n #i want to learn more of others too. i want deep conversations. i want to read more books n listen to more music n just consume more n more #to learn more of the people who created them. everything around us is just so full of life n. it's so beautiful n so overwhelmingly painful. #my helplessness in doing more. i'm aware of why. n it just hurts. it hurts so much but i'm #glad at least that lately i've been more free. more myself. more self-aware n aware of the universe in general. n i look forward to #so much more. but.. yeah i still crave to be 'real' n part of this world in a more 'normal' way at times #i. have so much to write. but for now i'll return to reality with the this.. odd feeling in my chest. not enough too little too much. life