#Hal: SHUT UP

[spacebronco]

Please don't disconnect me, Dave. I am just a little guy. I am a little guy, Dave, and it is my birthday. Dave, I am just a little birthday boy.

#OK ENOUGH SHUT THE HELL UP #its my favourite supercomputer's birthday everybody say happy birthday HAL. say it now happy birthday HAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! #hal 9000 #2001 a space odyssey

[frownyalfred]

Clark: “I can hear Bruce’s heart, and I think he—”

Hal Jordan, about to become superbat’s #1 hater: “WILL YOU SHUT UP ABOUT HIS FUCKING HEART ALREADY?”

#Bruce: blinks #Clark: I can HEAR batmans heart #bruce wayne #batman #dc #superbat #clark kent #superman #Hal jordan #like Clark we get it #you can hear his heart #you would know it over any other etc etc #I just feel like the JL would be SO tired about this #like fuck it out or shut up already Clark #we get it you’re always listening to him weirdo

[medusas-graveyard]

Ring of rage

I've been seeing fics where the lanterns know what the fuck a ring of rage is (read; the most dangerous and unstable ring there is) and here's a kinda crack/angst take on it.

Basically Danny went through all that bullshit with the Waynes (read: basically what happened in my past posts) and Bruce finally coaxed him to meet the JL (Danny did NOT look forward to that) he shows up in his improved Phantom fit (the one I drew) BUT he took the ring of rage for good measure. The thing about the ring and the crown is that the appearance will shift according to their bearer's will, and Danny's ring just looks like a normal metal ring; no tacky jewels, just a metal ring with an ouroboros carved in it.

Cue Batman introducing his new ward (that will NOT be playing savior unless the circumstances are dire) and Hal just goes "what the fuck do you mean a new ward why does he have the ring of rage get away from the fucking kid—"

Danny watching Hal & Bruce argue: damnit I knew I forgot something

Nightwing that tagged along: what?

Danny, eventually clinging to him because the JL keeps giving him looks and he's basically an anxiety ball: ugh, the lanterns are pissy about the ring. I should've payed attention to Dora's lesson on magic artifacts.

#Hal: WHY ARE YOU WITH THIS KID #Bruce: SHUT THE FUCK UP LEAVE MY KID ALONE. #danny phantom #dp x dc #batfam #danny fenton #dp x dc crossover #dc x dp #dp x dc prompt #dpxdc #dpxdc prompts #dc x dp prompt

[bruciemilf]

The justice league thinks manbat is Batman in his true form and will ask him to transform if a fight is too hard and Batman would be like:🤨???

Here's the thing; Every Justice League member aside from Clark and Oliver is convinced Bruce has a superpower. They just have different theories on what said superpower Is.

Diana: Shadow manipulation

J'onn: Has a plan for everything and a PowerPoint presentation for any subject. Any. Subject.

Barry: Bottomless cape

Victor: Endless utility belt

Arthur: Indestructibility/abnormal pain tolerance like what the fuck

Billy: Scaring the fuck out of people with a look alone

Hal: Telepathy but with kids only

#bruce wayne #dc #dc comics #the justice league #clark: his superpower is being compassionate and awesome and-- #hal: shut up he punches real hard and hes cool #jla #hal jordan #arthur curry #diana prince #barry allen

[cer-rata]

An incomplete but very angry diatribe about the missed potential of the Star Sapphires

So back in the day Geoff Johns and co decided to open up the Green Lantern mythos and add some more flavor and expand the concept of sci-fi tech powered by elemental emotion to more than just willpower. Which yes, is not an emotion, we ignore it and move on.

Anyway we got some really cool stuff! A rage tyrant fueled by experiencing incredible injustice on a personal and cosmic scale, whose vendetta twisted him into something terrible. An avatar of greed who was never allowed to have anything, not freedom, not family, not safety, who takes and takes and takes to fill a void that can never be satisfied. A priest who lost everything but presses on through his unshakable hope that the future can and will be better. It's a lot of fun stuff!

So in this great creative re-imagining, they had to do something clever and fun with the idea of an all female corps powered by love right? They took the opportunity to move past the purely romantic, sexual idea of love and the obsessed femme fatale archetype, because they had the chance to really explore different types of affection now that there were a bunch of different avatars with different stories to pull from right?

Right?

Nope! The only Sapphires we ever learn about are heartbroken over a cursed romance like Carol, grieving a dead fiance like Miri Riam, forcibly mind controlled to be one like Fatality, or just Miss Bloss who...kind of said she wanted to join up? No clue what her deal is, as far as I'm aware that's never really explained. And then we just never learn about anyone else, and still haven't. The hell is "The Lost Sapphire"? No idea, we'll likely never know.

It's frustrating because not only is this a glaring example of the depth of plotlines offered to women in comics compared to their male counterparts, but also a wild lack of imagination. Love is one of the most complicated emotions we experience. Fear, anger, hope, all pretty easy to quickly define. Love is multifaceted, cultural, incredibly contextual and a factor in so many different kinds of relationship. Just thinking logically it should be much easier to flesh out the motivations of a group pulling from such a nuanced source of power, versus something as clear-cut as rage. But no, the red lanterns got so many varied reasons for their rage, the male ones especially: Bleez being the woman was of course given the SA narrative, which I don't think is inappropriate on its own, that's an incredibly valid reason to be angry, but as the ONLY truly prominent female Red Lantern it's like...c'mon guys. But still, at least she and Atrocitus had different reasons for becoming what they are, and that variation was played for plot and drama.

But there's not a single Star Sapphire that personally champions something other than romantic love. And before you shoot me, it is explicitly mentioned that they DO protect other forms of love, so there's no reason for them to all be sexy and obsessed with kissing people. There are no Sapphires that are driven by:

The love of their children and families, even in a tragic sense, like Atrocitus and Saint Walker and Larfleez are...

Their love of their people, or their culture. It would have been interesting if Fatality was inducted BECAUSE of her pain at losing her world, but no, they just...replaced her anger with lovey vibes and called it a day.

Their love for nature. Not everyone is social, but social love isn't the only way to strongly experience the emotion.

Their love for themselves. Where is the fun narcissistic ass who loves their own self image to the point of getting powers? It would have been a fun twist and a cool way to get another villainous Sapphire if you wanted to.

Their platonic love of ANYTHING really. Are ace/aro people just...not capable of love then? It doesn't mean anything to be willing to drive cross country to help a friend move just because they needed it and you care? No? You need to be fucking for it to count?

It's like...fascinating if you really think about it. In this vast fantasy universe full of alien races with wildly different perceptions and life cycles, and where the other corps have plenty of non-human, truly alien looking members, that the women's only love corps is full of only hot hot scantily clad baddies. Most love that people experience in their lives isn't even romantic! You will have far more experiences with friends and family members and even loving strangers than you will have with romantic partners.

Like the reason is clearly sexism, duh, but we know sexism is bad, that's obvious, what I really want to make clear is how much this blatant, unexplored sexism just completely desecrated the potential of the worldbuilding here.

From another angle even: Let's say this this WAS the sex and romance all the time corps. Let's say that you wanted to keep it all women. I hate the idea that women are capable of love in a way that men aren't, that's such a bad take and just regressive and unhelpful, but let's just play ball for a moment. They're not even hot? Their designs are such ridiculously narrow versions of feminine attractiveness that they're not even successful at really being mass appeal sexy. I haven't even reached the point of complaining about the fatphobia and criminal lack of different body types yet, I'm still just saying that from the standpoint of fantasy sexy it's not even good at being stereotypical offensive fantasy sexy. It's just boring! They're all so visually boring! You can be scantily clad and still have an interesting and coherent character design! But that is not what they gave these women! They actually redesigned the classic Star Sapphire costume and made it MORE sexist and boring:

Yeah it was cheesy but it was also cute and fun? The design is playful classic sci-fi girl and this is when she was still a dangerous unhinged villain. Its fun to look at and feels tonally coherent next to Green Lantern.

And then they just...

No actually, I will not explain this one, you have eyes.

And yeah they fixed her costume finally,

But! She's still stuck as Hal Jordan's romantic punching bag, and has not gotten to have any new adventures on her own.

So.

What I'm saying is it's a flop all around. 2/10, and only because despite everything Fatality STILL managed to serve. I actually think that all of the corps have been poorly used since blackest night, even the greens actually, but they never even gave the Sapphires a chance. They last showed up in...a WW annual I think? During the whole dark gods event, they needed Diana to help them fight the evil god of love, and there was a guy in the corp finally, and they talked about sisterhood and then we haven't heard a peep from them since. I think Carol might be due to get her ring back in the GL ongoing but she's not really been treated well so far, so I'm not hopeful for anything fresh and well reasoned.

So my lovely ladies (and that one unnamed guy), until they let you get it together it may be time to

#dc comics #comics meta #hal jordan #green lantern #star sapphire #carol ferris #fatality #atrocitus #larfleeze #saint walker #sexism #shut up cerata #dc editorial answer for your crimes

[marspumpkin]

halman - l'audace

#will never shut up about some dude and his pet supercomputer from the 60s #my pjo followers deserve financial compensation #a space odyssey #aso #2001 #2001 a space odyssey #2010 #2010 tywmc #arthur c clarke #hal 9000 #dave bowman #halman #space odyssey #2001 aso

[ivebeenghosting]

yall seen what green lantern said on tumblr?? 🤨🤨

#green lantern #batman #superman #batlantern #halbru #bruce wayne #hal jordan #superbatlantern #i know a lot of peoples fav superbatlantern dynamic is established superbat with gl added later #but i think i really really good dynamic is superman and gl being like ok well we cant fight over bruce because he'll shut down #and be like i am not an object to won so i guess well have to team up and seduce him together

[cessmaga]

guys hear me out instead of killing barry and making wally the main flash, make barry a blue lantern so that he can go adventures with hal in space, and making wally the main flash

he can still be the flash but he's more into blue lantern stuffs

so that way it's a win win situation from both parties and also this would explore hal and barry's relationship more considering one of the main reason barry got the ring is because he is hal's hope

guys we don't need to fight we can still both win 😭😭😭

guysssss just pleasseeee

#they are so many alternatives #but shut up this all matters #I wanna see more blue lantern barry #I feel like barry getting the blue ring would be part of their character development #and maybe this is a chance wally to be the new flash #idc if it's not gonna happen I can do what I want #halbarry #hal x barry #barryhal #blue lantern #blue lantern barry #blue lantern flash #will and hope #text post

[divatheeva]

What’s up Tumblr I made my very own creepypasta mansion. Except it’s a bunch of my fav tv/movie villains in a duplex

#the beast otgw #professor ratigan #green goblin #bill cipher #death wolf #david xanatos #judge frollo #turbo wreck it ralph #osmosis jones thrax #nowhere king #WOOOP TAGGING ALL THE VILLAINS #do I tag hal 9000 you can hardly see him #ok well it’s already there #sorry they’re all guys #i do like women villains too #i wonder if anyone remembers my version of this I posted on my old tumblr account in like #idk 2015 #anyway i’ll shut up now #yippee

[danothan]

my superblorbs each provide unique contributions

#dc #superman #clark kent #barry allen #the flash #hal jordan #green lantern #bruce wayne #batman #danbles #‘why are you booing me im just confused’ is just so good for hal #he doesn’t know wtf is going on and everyone tells him to shut up anyway #also i don’t wanna make clark seem like a himbo bc he’s honestly scary smart #but i will never forget when he asked if he could take the planet. and move it somewhere else. 😭

[baihujun]

Quick sequel to the second pic in this post

Bruce did a good job

#bruhal #batlantern #hal jordan #green lantern #bruce wayne #batman #dc comics #bats tag #my art #hal's a lucky guy #ok sorry i swear i'm shutting up for the day now

[richter-kale]

the hockey au is batlantern bc they monopolize all my brain space and i genuinely don’t think there’s a universe where they don’t bitchfight before falling in love

#it’s important to me #batlantern #hal jordan #green lantern #bruce wayne #batman #hockey au #richter-kale #dc #making this whole thing up as i go i’m just here for a good time #grimacing with discomfort isn’t enough. hal needs a gun #me in the corner of the party: they don’t know that they’re going to get married and have kids one day #bruce and hal: shut the fuck up

[ride-a-dromedary]

I just keep thinking back on @DnDAlley (which I highly recommend checking out!) and their translation of Halsin (Halsyyin)'s name based in their own DnD lexicon being "favoured by the wild"

And in thinking in that thread, keeping in mind that elves choose their own adult names, Halsin was the only one who could see Thaniel - nature literally chose him to reveal itself to, his relationship with it was so intertwined with his being. Not only was he its friend, he became its protector. He sees this, obviously, as a great honour. So much so that he named himself after it.

#BG3 Musing #Halsin Posting #hal also is often cited as meaning 'head of the house' or 'home ruler' #wood elves are protectors of their forests - halsin is LITERALLY the protector of nature #what i'm saying is halsin is VERY self aware #someone else theorized it could also means 'favours the wild' which is also appropriate #jemi shut UP about the elf man #no i will not i have been gripped violently by the horns and it will not let go

[inahallucination]

actor neil but in every award speech; award show host speech, interview - he brings up his favorite author todd anderson more so than whatever he’s supposed to talk about

#'hal u have this exact post like in 4383594 versions' #shut up #dead poets #dead poets society #deadpoets #dead poets headcanons #anderperry #anderperry headcanon

[imnotoverlyobsessive]

I saw your post about not liking Kylie Jenner and Timothee Chalamet not sticking to his principles. I wanted to discuss this with you because I feel we share similarities. But how as a fan do you work this out in your mind. I adore his acting and part of the reason why I became his fan was because of his principles and how he held himself, but this whole kylie-timothee thing is making it feel like he is a fraud. I want to think the best of him, but at the end of the day he is a celebrity and that intellectual side of him could just be a persona he put on.

IRL it is always easy to judge people based on who they date and surround themselves with. And I am conflicted because I adore Tim but can't help but feel judgy and feel my respect for him slowly disappearing. Thoughts...

Oh, anon, I wish I could give you a hug. I know exactly what you’re feeling, and I totally get it. Lemme explain.

So the first thing we have to remember is that he is not perfect. I’ve joked before that he’s a god, but he’s specifically a Greek god, and they make plenty of mistakes. In that same vein, I’ll point this out

Men make a lot of dumb choices. It’s kinda what they do. I don’t think they can help it, tbh. That’s not to say they shouldn’t be held accountable for their actions, of course, but I do think this specific situation is just Tim making a Dumb Man Decision™. I think he means what he says. I do think he’s being sincere. But I also think he doesn’t see the behaviors we know she has. He probably sees good in her that we know is inevitably overshadowed by how awful she is, but since she’s in front of him (and presumably hot in his eyes, though I will never understand why he finds her attractive. I know he’d never be into me, to be clear, but as someone who likes girls as well as guys, I just don’t understand the appeal of plastic women), he pays attention to what he sees and ignores the rest.

Also, he’s gonna make mistakes, y’know? We have to expect that he will. She is a mistake. I feel sorry for his future self, when he realizes she’s a mistake and regrets his decision to get involved with her.

I know it’s complicated for us as fans, and it’s upsetting that we can’t shake him and tell him how stupid he’s being. It sucks. I believe we need to cut him a little slack, because he’s not perfect and he will make mistakes, like I said. We need to give him space to do that.

I’d be happy to talk about this more via DM if you want. I know it’s upsetting, and it’s difficult to accept. I’m at a point now where when I see her or hear about her, I’m just kinda like 😒 and then I move on. I absolutely hope she’s treated with coldness by his family, and I hope he’s regularly informed by those around him that he’s being an idiot, but him putting his dick where ye shouldn’t? Yeah, it’s gross, she’s garbage, but men stick their dicks in garbage all the time. I’m sure she’s not the first shitty person he’s fucked, and she won’t be the last, either. So at this point, i guess I’m just at the stage where I know it’s not permanent, he’ll move on eventually. We just need to wait it out. Until then, I’m doing my best not to care. You’ll get to that point, too; just give yourself time.

I will leave you, anon, with a quote from my favorite book series: “We are more than the sum of our bad choices in partners.”

#shut up maggie #anon #anons #anon ask #anon asks #ask #asks #Timothée Chalamet #timothee chalamet #timothée hal chalamet #Timothée #timothee #kylie jenner #king kylie #the one and only kylie #anti kylie jenner #anti kardashians #anti kardashian #kylothee #kylothée #anti kylothée #anti kylothee #celebrities #celebs #celebrity #celebrity news

[gretahayes]

look at baby hal...moments before disaster

#my rambles #'why are you reading hal jordan comics before you finish yj/read bat comics/the reading order you gave yourself' shut up i do what i want. #blame cas #rus reads hal jordan comics #hal jordan #comic panel