I Think I Met You In My Dreams Once - Bucky Barnes - Eight
Summary: After receiving an honourable discharge from his military service that was caused by the loss of his arm, James Barnes begins to come to terms with several things. He also finds solace in youtube videos, memes and on social media, where he happens to find you.
Pairing: Ex-Military!Bucky Barnes x Fem! Plus Size!Reader (Modern AU)
Chapter Warnings: angst, fluff, swear words, family drama, drama at stark industries, nat is v protective, bucky is v protective, peter being an absolute fave
Word Count: 4792 Dividers: @firefly-graphics
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Chapter Seven || Chapter Nine
Bucky’s arm encircles your waist, pulling you closer into his chest. His nose traces along your shoulder and then his lips place a soft kiss on the skin where your his shirt falls from your shoulder.
You feel his fingertips brush over your stomach, the muscles slightly contract under the foreign touch which feels searingly familiar.
He sleepily mumbles something, his breath fanning over your neck makes you giggle.
Bucky’s smile against your skin reminds you of home, the fluttering in your chest finally finds itself happy.
You have someone to call home.
“I love you.” He whispers, then tugs on your earlobe.
“I love you.” He says again, kissing your cheek.
You turn in his hold, facing him, sleepy azure beckoning you to drown. Sweeter than the call of a siren.
“I love you.” You say, he leans in closer, soft slightly chapped lips brush against yours. Then press closer. Your eyes close, cupping his face. Bucky pulls you closer.
Discomfort trickles up your spine, turning the warmth of Bucky into cold and your eyes open. The lamp in your room does nothing to brighten the dull ache in your heart as there is no Bucky pulling you close to him.
Tears pool at your eyes, brimming over as you try to blink them away. You squeeze your eyes shut again, hoping your dream can continue. At least in the dreams you never had oceans separating the two of you.
Wiping the hot tears you blearily look at the small digital clock on your wall the small red numbers gloat it is five AM, you groan.
The earlier discomfort manifests again but this time between your legs. Throwing off the blanket you groan. If the dream hadn’t caused a longing sadness the evidence of being greeted by your period sent you into a goddamn meltdown.
Wiping away your fresh tears you grab a change of pyjama pants and head to the bathroom. The cramp takes over when you are just exiting and this day hasn’t even begun and you felt as though everything was absolute shit.
“That was rude of you.” You grumpily mutter to your stomach, actually glaring at your uterus.
“Not the cramps, that I expect, but the dream of him.” Pulling the blanket back on yourself you struggle to find a comfortable position.
Your phone chimes. The notification tab filled with sporadic texts from Bucky.
Bucky🌻:
Would you rather go ice skating with only one skate, or would you rather go skiing with only one ski?
Bucky🌻:
If that sounds out of the blue it is, my brain is getting fried here.
Bucky🌻:
i saw this and thought of you, for lunch i went and got halal guys
(he’s attached a picture of a small patch of grass with a few flowers growing amongst the concrete pavement of the city)
(he also sent a video of him eating the food and tempting you)
Your brain malfunctions when he licks the sauce off of his bottom lip.
Bucky🌻:
in all the restrictive bullshit you’ve found room to grow and be yourself.
Bucky🌻:
Can the twin spawns of satan— are we insulting satan or praising him by assigning said twin spawns as satan’s spawn?
You giggle at that, swiping the message you begin to type out a reply.
The three dots appear from Bucky’s end, then his message.
Bucky🌻:
Its 5 am, you better have a reasonable explanation for being up, we have lunch planned from your end not breakfast.
You roll your eyes at the sternness that wafts off of his message.
Bucky🌻:
Don’t roll your eyes.
Also no, I have not hacked your camera.
You huff, sending your reply.
Doll🌸:
I was peacefully sleeping, dreaming about this very, very handsome man but then my own body betrayed me. 🩸🦈
Bucky🌻:
Oh no, did the cramps start? Is that electric heated water-bag I sent the link of near to you? Should I order some chocolates?
Also who was this lucky man to grace your dreams?
You laugh, but then groan as a cramp takes over. Bucky had been kind enough to track down a water bag that was basically electrically heated therefore waiting to warm the water and fill up the bag was entirely eliminated.
Doll🌸:
i hadn’t thought of the bag, going to retrieve it also jealous much, Mr. Barnes?
Bucky takes a breath, tired from the day, he looks around at the half empty floor of the software team.
Bucky🌻:
i’m only a man, doll. Do you know how difficult it is to know others get to sit, stand, eat, drink, laugh and have your warmth next to them?
Your breath hitches, as you sit up, the hot water bag providing relief. Your eyes brim with tears at his words. Having Quentin here was annoying him to no beyond, your father was purposely uploading the pictures
Bucky🌻:
i don’t want to cause more heartache but today is one of those days i wish i could come home to you.
Doll🌸:
i was dreaming about you.
Doll🌸:
we were cuddled up in bed, you pulled me closer to your chest, placing soft kisses on my shoulder, it felt so real James, I cried when I woke up.
Doll🌸:
You’re it for me James Bucky Barnes.
Bucky’s breath hitches at your simple sentence. Lungs and throat aching to scream at the universe for being cruel to keep you both apart. He wishes he could pull you into his arms and kiss you so deeply that you feel him against your lips months later.
Bucky🌻:
You’re it for me too, Y/N Doll Y/LN.
Doll🌸 sent a voice note.
Bucky plays it, your voice cracks slightly and he knows you’ve been crying. He can’t help but keep pressing play on the note, emailing himself to keep it safe.
“You’re it for me, James Bucky Barnes.” Your soft voice croons, “I love you so much, people told me I had a big heart, I think it is so to hold the love I have for you. I love you.”
He sets the phone down, wiping his own dampened cheeks. When he tries to speak his voice cracks. It always takes him by surprise how raw with emotion he becomes, then his father’s words haunt him.
Bucky pushes those thoughts away. He wasn’t weak, it was okay to be vulnerable and express emotions. You always appreciated him being able to share all his facets with you.
He drinks water, trying to clear his throat before he can send you a voice note as well. When he listens back to it, you would know he cried as well.
“Fuck,” Bucky mutters this is an emotionally charged day.
Bucky🌻 sent a voice note.
He waits for your reply, but eyes Tony coming on his way over. He leaves you a quick message about the same so you don’t worry over why he disappeared mid conversation.
Tony harbours a look of pure calm, which only means there is rage inside. Bucky stands, moving to the conference room for privacy and Tony gives a curt nod of acknowledgment.
Inside Bucky waits while Tony paces trying to articulate himself without losing his absolute mind.
“Do you know Hammer Tech, Barnes?” Tony exhales and turns to face him.
“I used to do their back end work, it was third party so never had a direct connection but their pay sucked and working conditions as well.” Bucky’s lips curl into a grimace at the memory.
“Hmm, shitty employee treatment aside,” Tony sits on the head chair, “Have you been sharing sensitive information?”
Bucky’s eyes widen, “Tony, respectfully what the fuck?”
“They have stolen our entire idea, for the bionic arm.” Tony narrows his eyes at Bucky.
“And you think I gave out the information?” Bucky feels his chest constrict he’d never do anything like this, never.
“Barnes, I—, fuck.” Tony presses the palms of his hands over his eyes.
Bucky just stares at the man, baffled.
“Fuck, okay, look, I apologise, sincerely.” Tony looks at Bucky, whose expression is now stoic.
“I had a look at their design and workings. Its bang on ours. The interns wouldn’t do it, their vetted by their universities. Which leaves the employees I assigned to the said project.” Tony explains and deflates.
“I really am sorry Barnes, I just, that fucker always tries to push me to my brink.” Tony sighs yet again.
“Have you checked my records? Other team member records?” Bucky responds cooly.
“I did, it’s all clean.” Tony runs a hand down his face.
“And you still came up to accuse me? Why? Because I left the trial mid way?” Bucky wills himself not to lose his cool, not to turn this into a screaming match.
“To be honest I did this whole accusation thing with everyone.” Tony admits, sheepishly.
“Because you have a flair for the dramatic.” Bucky shrugs, lips twitching at the humour.
“Please, who even am I without the drama?” Tony smirks, leaning back in the chair.
“That was a very asshole move of you.” Bucky finally sits in the chair.
“I’m sorry man. This, everything, it’s like I’m going to crumble.” The man who probably has everything sighs.
“I can understand.” The feeling is all too familiar.
“I really am sorry, Barnes. Your one of my best people, honestly trust you more than a family member.” Tony admits and Bucky feels his throat lace with emotion again.
“Plus I have Morgan’s approval.” Bucky jokes to ease the tension, Tony cracks a genuine smile and the soldier feels that this is a win.
“Don’t tell her I accused you.” Tony chuckles.
“Oh please, I am telling her and then suing you for emotional stress. She’s going to be the judge for the case” Bucky laughs.
“Jeez one more lawsuit, ease up a lil Barnes. God if she becomes a lawyer she will be ruthless.” Pride shines in the father’s eyes.
Bucky smiles, he never expected Tony Stark to be the doting father he is, but damn he’s seen big investors meetings rearranged for dance recitals, plays and picnics.
“Sorry no can do, I need the money.” He jokes.
“How are things in paradise?” Tony smiles when Bucky’s gaze softens as he thinks about you.
“Today is sort of well, not one of the good ones, missing each other too much.” He admits, this fingertips tapping on the glass.
“What about the meeting? Any date set?” Tony knew because even the incognito search history revealed flight dates that Barnes was seeing.
“Her visa didn’t come through, so I’m thinking of you know, surprising her for Christmas. Well thats cause we have holidays then so…” He shrugs it was still preliminary he needed to sort several things before he could travel.
Alpine’s ability to travel and if not then either asking his mum to care for her, there was also the question of how long would he be with you, because goddamn the thought of returning without you pierced his heart in the worst way.
Bucky thought back to Hammer Tech stealing to avoid breaking down again.
“Wait, how did they steal? Every part of ours is patented.” Bucky recalls, Tony shakes his head, a bitter smile on his face.
“The asshat changed several cosmetic enhancements, some proprietary paint of his to colour the arm to the user, I can’t find anything on the internal mechanism.” Tony’s hands ball into fists, then he extends his fingers as he realises something.
Bucky’s brows furrow when the shorter man stands.
“Follow me.” Is all Tony says before rushing out, Bucky quickly follows suit.
Tony heads towards the elevators with whatever epiphany dawned upon him and honestly Bucky wonders how the man is faster than him.
Sharon’s voice makes him pause, “Yeah, no, he’s accused everyone. Including idiotic Barnes.” Her office door is ajar by an inch but the frosted glass prevents his recognition.
“Barnes!” Tony bellows from inside the open elevator. Bucky contemplates, just a snippet wouldn’t give him proof of his doubts. He decides against it and continues forward towards Tony.
Natasha walks beside you, classes had ended. Your stomach rumbles and Nat gives you a pointed look.
“What?” You wince at the cramp.
“I know your lunch date went haywire and eventually cancelled but you can eat you know.” Nat gives a pointed glare you turn away.
“I’ll eat at home, I just want to lay down.” You exhale, day one and two were never in your favour.
“Y/N.” Natasha would probably pull your ear and drag you to the cafeteria if it hadn’t already shut.
A black Mercedes stops in front of you two. Nat raises a brow as the window lowers down.
Your hand tightens around Nat’s and she will commit murder. Quentin Beck gives a charming smile that would have people swooning but you two know better.
“Natasha, as radiant as ever.” He grins, you would vomit on him.
“Beck, I see you’re still roaming as if you own everything in sight.” Natasha sneers. He only laughs, the fake-ness of it reverberates the air.
“Why are you here?” You question, he was supposed to be galavanting with his other rich friends who were equally obnoxious.
“Well, I was at home, your mom was worried about you and I offered to pick you up.” He explains with a shrug.
“She’s coming along with me.” Nat interjects with a glare.
Quentin looks at you, lowering his sunglasses, “I know you aren’t well, come on, we’ll get ice cream on the way.” He proposes and you want to know what ulterior motives exist.
Nat looks at you worried, “Are you going with him?” The unspoken conversation goes on as you both weigh out pros and cons.
Your phone rings and Natasha scoffs, looking at Quentin as you answer the phone.
“What?” He raises his hands in defence and she only continues to glare at him.
“Y/N.” Your dad’s voice greets.
“Yes, Dad?” You have to bite your tongue to keep the respect in your tone.
“Quentin is on his way to pick you up, the driver had to be sent for my work, and your mother says you are unwell.” He states, doesn’t ask how are you feeling? or worries just states facts.
“Yes he is here.” You inform.
“Very well, call me from the car I have to discuss something private with him.”
“You can call him…” You want to mope and throw a fit but with the way you feel like crap you want to just give up. Can Bucky just pop up and pull you into his lap and keep you away from this bullshit?
You pause for five seconds to allow the universe to do her thing, but your dad’s fed up tone lacing with your name irks you instead.
“Yes I’m getting into the car.” You inform and look at Nat, mouthing to her that you would text her.
“Take care and be careful.” She mouths back and you give her a flying kiss which she reciprocates.
Quentin welcomes you with a smile as you sit in the car and then raises a brow to Nat in defiance. Her eyes narrow further, she needs to ask Bucky to expedite his surprise.
Quentin pulls onto the road and you hand your phone to him, he puts it on speaker and your dad and him greet each other as though talking after ages. Instead of hours.
There is nothing private about the talk as they consider stock market options and your dad quizes him about banking things.
The call ends and you text Bucky and Nat respectively about your whereabouts. To Bucky you most demand for extra cuddles as punishment. You know it’s useless but complaining and whining today just makes you feel slightly better.
Quentin pulls into one of the restaurants your families frequented and you remember playing hide and seek in the main lobby with him. You also remember the huge round pillar where you had your first kiss with him and also the very pillar where you stood and had your heartbroken.
“Why are we here?” You ask as the valets open your doors. You step out thanking the valet.
“For lunch, and ice cream, you used to love their chocolate chip one.” He shrugs waiting for you and holds out his hand.
You walk up the familiar steps without his help.
The hostess seats you at the table you always wanted to sit upon, it rested on a step higher than the remaining seats and had a canopy decorated with flowers.
“I remember you wanted to always sit here.” He comments taking a sip of water.
“I did.” Your replies are clipped and Quentin sighs.
“Look, I know I fucked up,”
“Happy realisation, would you like a certificate? I can make one on Canva.” You seethe.
“Little Princess.” His expression doesn’t change at your glare.
“I want to make amends.” He admits, sincerely gazing at you.
“Too late.” You settle back into the chair as the waiter places your orders in front of you both.
“Thank you.” You both say in unison before a silence takes over as you begin eating.
“Look, I just want my friend back, I want to right my wrongs.” He says, you raise a brow at him mid bite.
“I know how it sounds but please, I want you as a part of my life.” Quentin places his hand upon yours, interlacing your fingers. You look at him and he has tears in his eyes.
“Are you doing this for some ulterior motive or are you genuinely wanting to repair things?” You pull your hand away, waiting in response.
“Genuinely. I miss you. Not even in the sense of our relationship but as my friend, you were my best friend.” Quentin smiles in remembrance of the friendship the two of you had, children of fathers who were too busy working and trying to climb success’ ladder.
“Quentin, I don’t think we can be how we were…” You trail of, sipping water as your eyes burn with tears. So much was lost and changed.
“I know, I… I pretty much turned into who I told you I would never be.” He admits and somewhere in your heart you feel empathy for him.
“Quentin,”
“Look, all I want is forgiveness and maybe a fresh start friendship. Only if you want.” He puts the ball in your court.
“I don’t know how to trust you.” You fiddle with the hem of the table cloth, eyes averted.
“I want to earn it back.” He says making you look towards him.
Quentin rises from his chair, circling around to cup your cheek as he had the day he came into your room. Your eyes meet his blue ones.
“Don’t you miss me, little princess?” Quentin questions, eyes holding something you can’t decipher.
“I used too, but you never wanted me did you?” You say, he leaves your skin. Defeat pulling at his shoulders.
“I was young and foolish.” He admits, “I haven’t forgiven myself for making you cry, for hurting you. Even if you forgive me I won’t.” He sits back in his chair.
“Quentin, she was everything I’m not, it was as if you used everything I told you hurt me. It was not easy for me, but maybe I could be more civil towards you?” You offer, you were in a better place, you have Bucky a man better than any man you ever came with in contact.
“I’d like that.” He smiles, you smile back.
The bowls of ice cream are brought onto the table. He hands you a spoon.
“To becoming civil.” He raises a spoonful of ice cream, you do the same.
“To becoming civil.” You repeat.
“So tell me about your boyfriend.” Quentin asks, turning civil had been a point which had the two of you speaking a little more freely. He told you all about his escapades across America during college, he took a year off to join up his dad since he had a heart ailment.
“What about James?” You raise a brow.
“What does he do? Does he treat your right?” Quentin shrugs.
“He’s a software developer/coder at Stark Industries in New York City, ex military, Sergeant rank, special skills trained. He treats me the way I deserve to be treated.” You speak with a proud smile.
Quentin shakes his head but smiles at you, then focuses back on the road.
“What?” You ask.
“No just, I can see he makes you happy. Its nice to see someone not fucking up as I had.” He looks at you at the stoplight.
“Do you love him?”
“I do.” You verbalise easily, loving Bucky is as easy as breathing. You look at your phone, no messages yet, you reread the last message from him.
Bucky🌻:
Hey Doll, there is some trouble here, the second I get a free moment, I’ll call or update you, but for a few days I think it will be haywire.
I love you, I’ll text you as soon as I can, be careful around that asshat, i don’t trust his intentions.
I love you.
“I’m glad you found him.” Quentin admits and pulls the car into your apartment building.
He doesn’t follow when you get out of the car, sending your driver away when he arrives to take the car off of his hands.
“I have some work,” He explains coming to stand near you, “Thank you for today, I feel better than I did.”
He opens his arms and you look up at him,
“One hug?” He requests and you open your arms. Quentin closes the space between you two, pulling you into a hug familiar from childhood days.
His hands move over your curves, you stiffen.
“Quentin—,” You try to pull away.
“Just as I remember. I’m sorry.” He breathes, voice hoarse. Hands move away to wrap around you.
“Quentin, this is not comfort—,”
He pulls away, but places a kiss to your cheek.
“Sorry, I just, I found our toddler time picture this morning and it was of me kissing your cheek.” He pulls it up on his phone, your gaze softens as you see your childhood self. Happy.
“Well I’ll be on my way, thanks for today again, little princess.” He says and waves jogging back to the driver’s side.
You swallow and turn back to the lobby door, entering. When you set your bag down, you look into the mirror. Your mind brings forth the picture of your younger happier self.
You gaze into your eyes then over your body, every dip, crevice, curve that would have you aching to look away. Today was a day you could look at yourself without thoughts crossing your mind.
You smile and your reflection mimics you, and you can see the happiness in your eyes too.
Bucky feels bile rise up in his throat.
He would have not opened the very spam looking email, but it was in his inbox with attachments.
The subject is what drew him in, two words; your name.
He hated that curiosity got the better of him. He hated how the email was getting the better of him.
Then Natasha’s text burns behind his closed eyelids.
Natasha:
Beck is upto something. I know Y/N said you’re busy but something is amiss, keep your eyes open and head centred.
“Barnes.” Tony draws his eyes away from the laptop screen.
The mogul raises an eyebrow, Bucky nods.
“Just give me one minute.” Bucky says, Tony nods, closing the office door on his way out.
Bucky clenches his teeth. A whirlwind of thoughts swirl his mind.
He nods to himself, tapping away on the search bar. Emailing Natasha his flight details he keeps the visa tab open for perusal post his meeting with Tony.
Bucky grabs his iPad, and walks towards the elevators to go up to Tony’s lawyer team floor. It had been two days since your outing with Beck and he was honestly expecting something from the asshole. Definitely not non consented to pictures as if taken by paparazzi and sent to him to let him stew in jealousy.
If Quentin was out for ruining things, Bucky would fight tooth and nail.
He’d get to deck Quentin Beck in his face, right on his mouth the very mouth that had ordered someone to take photos to manipulate things between the two of you.
Also the mouth that placed a kiss on your cheek but that will be a separate punch.
The elevator opens to the law floor filled rapid tapping and pages being turned. Bucky walks towards the conference room as he spots the sign for it.
“Barnes, you were right.” Tony says as he enters.
“I usually tend to be.” He chuckles at Tony’s eye roll.
“His patent covers even the internal mechanism so we will know who is the leak. Since I constructed each internal system of each prosthetic differently.” Tony grins clapping his hands excited.
Bucky has a guess on the tip of his tongue. Peter shuffles beside him and Bucky raises a brow.
Peter shifts a small paper towards Bucky, in his neat handwriting,
‘We should tell him about Rumlow’s mounting plate.’
Bucky nods, his guess was the very man.
“Listen Tony….”
“Mr. Stark…”
“You both look as if you both are stressed out and are about to see the devil in hell.” Tony’s laugh dies as he looks between the two.
Peter begins rambling and Bucky adds the forgotten points in the middle. The room grows quiet. Too quiet and Tony’s jaw ticks.
“Peter go out.” Bucky says calmly.
“But Mr. Barnes—,”
“Listen to him, Underoos.” Tony implores and Peter scrambles out while apologising profusely.
“Now, Barnes. What the fuck?” Tony bellows and his entire team flinches. Bucky remains unaffected. Pressing his lips into a thin line he takes an inhale then exhales.
He pulls up the email from Brock and shows it to the team and Tony.
“The entire wiring was different… we fixed it to the original but, I think Rumlow is the leak.” Bucky speaks calmly trying to stay composed as Tony’s breathing grows erratic.
“Did you take pictures? Because we need proof.” Tony questions, Bucky nods and Peter pops his hand in holding up his own iPad with the picture folder open.
“Parker.” Tony groans, “Just come back in and stop spying.”
Peter scrambles in again and sits down next to Bucky. Who pats the young intern on his back.
“I didn't want to disappoint you.” Peter mumbles and Tony shakes his head.
“Kid, you never could. Just don’t hold information from me alright?” Tony reaches over ruffling the boy’s hair affectionately, Peter groans muttering how it took him a while to style it.
Which only prompts Bucky to also do the same much to Peter’s chagrin.
“So now what? Bucky questions the lawyers who were silent.
“We build a case.” One of them answers, wearing a pair of tinted glasses, Bucky recognises the man.
“You’re Matt Murdock right?” Peter confirms and Matt gives him a smile of affirmation.
“Its good to finally meet you Mr. Barnes.” Matt comments.
“Likewise, I’ve heard your name in the news a lot. You’ve done a great deal of work.” Bucky praises.
“You’re too kind. Thank you for your service.” Matt offers an unwavering smile.
Bucky’s throat constricts, “It was my duty.” He waits for the images of active duty blooming to take over, when they don’t Bucky exhales, feeling himself relax.
“I also have reason to believe Brock Rumlow isn’t alone.” Matt states.
“Another traitor? Fire HR.” Tony grumbles and Matt shakes his head.
“We need to smoke them out Tony.” Bucky says, “I think we should do it via Brock.”
“I may have an idea.” Peter pipes up, Tony gives him a pointed stare.
“It isn’t a movie reference…” Peter’s cheeks tinge red in embarrassment.
“Go on kiddo, tell us the plan.” Bucky grins, as Peter opens up a PowerPoint Presentation on his iPad.
“You were planning this?” Tony questions, absolutely gobsmacked at the details on the first slide itself.
“Mr. Murdock, I have the file on a thumb-drive incase you prefer your screenreader?” Peter looks towards the lawyer.
“No worries kid, I’d rather hear you speak than the robot.” Matt laughs and Peter chuckles.
Bucky looks at how much his name is popping up in the plan, the dates of the tickets he booked weigh heavy on his chest. He hopes this is resolved before he has to fly out to you.
A.N: hope everyone reading, enjoyed this chapter! let me know! thank you for reading! 💖 (i also apologise for the opening scene, i've been listening to my angst playlist)
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