#I HATE TAGGING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AUGH

[tantai-jin]

借一半清醒梦给我; lend me half a lucid dream

wahoo i wrote spl fic!!

💭 借一半清醒梦给我 ; lend me half a lucid dream

🌟 杀破狼 shapolang / stars of chaos ; changgu & chang geng centric

🗡 4.1K, explicit, canon compliant (takes place across first 2 eng volumes)

🩸 chang geng dreams too much, longs for too much.

Gu Yun rested a hand on Chang Geng’s chest and leaned forward, a sheath of hair cascading over his shoulder. “My dear son. Is this how you repay my care, as little as it may have been?” “Yifu,” Chang Geng managed finally, stupidly. “Don’t– don’t.” A rush of hatred rose inside him, coming from somewhere inside him and yet not belonging to him. “Stop talking.” “Sure.” Too much of his skin was bare; if this were to occur – somehow – in real life, his hands would probably still be cold. But why would Chang Geng care about that when he wanted Gu Yun dead, forever cold under his hands? “Then,” Gu Yun continued, his hand sliding closer, up to trace the line of Chang Geng’s collarbone, slowly settling at the base of his throat. “You have to be quiet too.”

on ao3 here

+ this great comment excerpt that perfectly encapsulates my spl reading experience so far and the inspiration for this

#shapolang #sha po lang #changgu #spl #杀破狼 #shapolang fic #sha po lang fic #changgu fic #chang geng #I HATE TAGGING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AUGH #my fic

[harasharaved]

The fact that Judaism is trending because of both the wave of bomb threats on synagogues and Bradley Cooper's Antisemitism Adventure (his huge fake prosthetic nose, and him basically stealing the story from a Jewish man) is so infuriating and so exhaustingly typical.

The fact that I see Judaism trending on Tumblr and immediately think "oh no. Something Bad is happening to us." We're never trending cause it's fucking good. I never get to be excited, it's just cold dread.

The fact that Antisemitism is getting worse everyday and the only ones who ever talk about it are other Jews. The fact that no one else fucking cares. The only ones who support us are other Jews. Even when gentiles talk about Nazis or white supremacists they don't want to help us. We're just their prop, the canary in the coal mine and the perfect victim.

The fact that everyone's uncomfortable with Jews still being here. Reminding them of things they'd rather forget.

The fact that it'd be easier for them if we were all dead. Then they could tell stories about our people, dressed in offensive caricatures, without us making a fuss.

#im so fucking pissed right now #jew tag #judaism #jumblr #when will we be able to catch a fucking break man #i keep thinking about dara horn man #she said it best #a hundred times #Sarah's bullshit #I'll probably delete this later i just AUGH #g-d im angry i just wanted to rant #me and every jewish person ever who went to hebrew school or shul or anything #we have armed security guards as some flimsy protection so we dont get hate crimed #so no one comes in and shoots our kids #by the way. its not normal. its been all ive ever known though #g-d forbid one of those bomb threats is real will gentiles slap on a fake nose and make a movie about it twenty years later

[autisticshadowthehedgehog]

wait what did paramount do?

ok gonna be fully honest i dont watch the superbowl cause im too pretty but apparently they put up a "stop being mean to israel :(" message on there. they also sent funds to them last october at least

anyway yesterday they found the bodies of a six-year-old palestinian girl, her whole family, and the two ambulance workers sent to retrieve them, all killed by israeli army gunfire. she had called for help beforehand, hence the ambulance, and her call is recorded. the iof was told ahead of time that the ambulance was coming and approved it, then destroyed the van on purpose. their bodies were left there for two weeks. they are part of around 600,000 casualties among the palestinian civilians.

sorry to dampen my fun lil sonic blog with this sort of heavy shit, i'll try to tag it appropriately, but what the actual fuck is wrong with people.

#free gaza #free palestine #death m / #politics / #irl stuff #child death #i hate to tag stuff this important as just 'politics' but i know people have trigger tags for a reason #i just. augh

[brother-emperors]

ascanio and louis xii

so

Milan Undone, Contested Sovereignties in the Italian Wars, John Gagné

extremely bold of louis xii to assume that ascanio, who has a reputation for conspiracy, wouldn't turn around and say 'fuck you,' after all of that™

(Ibid.)

it IS funny how men in power keep thinking they can put him on a leash like, pal. the odds are NOT in your favor

#ludovico couldn't keep his brother on a leash what makes you think YOU can #(guiliano della rovere is excluded from this club bc he actually succeeded on that front but i dont respect him) #anyway you guys ever think about how ascanio just wanted to be in milan but the milan that was your home doesnt exist anymore #like you're never gonna be able to go back. and ludovico at one point made arrangements for ascanio's body #to be brought back to milan back when everyone thought he was going to die. but he's going to die in rome and he's staying there #augh. AUGH #actually the shift in the relationship between ludovico and ascanio from a general sense of unease to ludovico #wanting ascanio buried with his wife (and the scale of grief that ludovico had at the death of beatrice. oughhhh) is. oof #there's a second very Hm™ comparison here that i will bite my tongue on but it's also their parents fault for it. so. #drawing tag #italian renaissance tag #ascanio sforza #do i have a tag for louis xii. i know ive drawn him before. I HATE HIS HAIR. i might throw out referencing his historical portraits #entirely and just borrow a portrayal of him from television or something #i was not made to draw straight hair

[milimeters-morales]

me trying to keep calm in the tags/comments when ganke is drawn skinny in milesganke fanarts bc the movie could be the artist’s only exposure to him and they don’t know ganke is fat in the comics (i’ve set my house on fire)

#LIKE I HATE IT SO FUCKING MUCH. BUT. LIKE. HE WAS FAT. IN THE COMCIS. THEY ARE DRAWING THE DIFF GANKE PHYSICALLY AND PERSONALITY WISE FROM+ #THE MOVIES. AUGH #BUT LIKE. YOURE ERASING HIM. BUT AT THE SAME TIME. THIS IS A DIFF GANKE #FOR FUCKS SAKE MAN WHY DID THE MCU DO THIS… #AND THE SHIP IS GETTING MORE ATTENTION WHEN HES SKINNY. IM SO FUCKING ILL #I HATE IT SOOO SO SO MUCH. SWORD SLASH TO THE CHEST. AND YOURE ON FIRE #THIS IS THE WORSTTRR #i’m putting this in the main tags bc i want to know if other people feel the same way #like i know a few do bc of my list post regarding this. which is still true btw a billion dead puppies #ganke lee #milesganke #arachnitech #m&m posts

[effervescentleaf]

[ID: a black and white ink painting of Zelda from Skyward Sword. she is wearing the white dress and clutching the goddess harp to her chest, with her head turned to the side and her eyes closed. End ID.]

trying to make more art that looks a little bit shit bc i'm sure someone will find it beautiful <3 (as a treat you can get the sketches)

[ID: three loose sketches of the above painting. the first is done with pencil in the corner of a page. the second is in pink and blue pen, and the third is done with ink. End ID.]

#effervescent art #i kinda prefer the practise ink thing i did last night but the sketch was so nasty #the pen one is my fav #peep in the corner you can see apple jack & rainbow dash's legs #eugh all i want to do it nitpick i need to stop doing that in the tags of all my art posts #skyward sword #sksw zelda #sksw fanart #skyward sword fanart #ss zelda #indian ink #i dont think its even indian ink #traditional art #ink drawing #art #artists on tumblr #i don't hate this at all btw #augh the paper was so warped twas so hard to get a good photo #oh god ignore that she has three joints on her right arm #how tf did that happen #loz #legend of zelda #the legend of zelda #zelda

[gothic-mothic]

I love it when he’s incomprehensible. I love it when the human language would never be able to describe him. I love it when he’s infinity long and infinity wide. I love it when he’s the most beautiful creature the universe holds. I love it when the sight of him is a curse. I love it when even he doesn’t know how to describe himself. I love it when he defies all that is know. I love it when constricting himself to a form that is perceivable is difficult for him. I love that he is loved. I love that he would encourage the creativity that his identity gives people. I love how narcissistic he is. I love that he is music. I love that he is literature. I love that he is sound. I love that he is art. I love that he’s older than time itself. I love that he’s young and immature. I love that he pretends to know everything despite the fact he really doesn’t. I love how his pride is his downfall. I love how incredibly flawed he is. I love how obsessive he can be about things that really don’t matter. I love that he can’t see the bigger picture. I love that he loves his creation. I love that he hates his creation. I love that he gave his creation the tools to hurt him and never stops him from doing such.

#anyway fuck that guy #this is ab narrator #OUGHHHHH I TOLD YOU NOTES RAMBLING WOULD HAPPEN #I hate the Stanley parable’s narrator #ugh #UGHH!!!! #tsp #the stanley parable #j don’t like tagging my rambles #but I’d want to see stuff like this if I was scrolling #so I hope this has some sort of audience #AUGH !! #tspud #the stanley parable ultra deluxe #cries forever #.txt

[sniffermynose]

the ocean queen changed me as a person.

#EMPIRES S1 IN GENERAL CHANGED ME AS A PERSON #but mainly lizzie #my favorite ocean diety #idia posts?! :0 #AUGH TAGS #i hate them #empires smp #empiresblr #empires s1 #ldshadowlady

[ducktollers]

fursona makes a comeback after 10 years

#my art #digital art #id in alt text #anthro #furry #fursona #I HATE TAGGING THINGSSSS AUGH #i was serious whne i said im going back to my furry roots #isnt she cute i havent drawn her since i was like 13 #i wouldnt say accurate fursona anymore but shes still cute n fun to draw #i need to make a new one. blonde raccoon i can see him in my head #anyways. #is it obvious that feet r my anatomical weak spot rn

[corfisers]

#is this anything. #initially the hands were supposed to be misumi's #but with how yashiro's life is going it doesn't even have to be misumi. it doesn't even have to a be a specific man. it's just Men #men with money men with power men with desires men full of hate or jealousy. men men men. #and this is where i restrain myself from going off on a rant but augh!!! ough!!!! yashiro!!!!!! #saezuru tag #wips tag

[unicornsaures]

my amrev mooties watching me mass reblog the outsiders stuff and probably being extremely confused or something

#im hoping you guys read the outsiders in school #ive actually read the outsiders twice in school ? #urgg my outsiders phase in like 7th grade comin back around #two very conflicting fandoms might i add #but also im not very invested in the fandom #i just think dallas is cool #shameless dally apologist #i KNOW he was a shitty person throughout the book and whatnot #and he was probably a horrible influence #but he hit. kinda close to home #that mutually obsessive relationship w/ johnny ohmmygod #its just :( #ME TOO!! #trying to kys over your fp is extremely real and unfortunately i completely get it #and his IMPULSIVENESS #AND HIS PUSHING AWAY OF EVERY EMOTION AND BASICALLY BEING A TICKING TIME BOMB AUGH #i will SHAMELESSLY say that dally is my favorite #i like johnny and pony and two bit and soda and whatnot #but dally just hits WAY too hard #imcrying over his entire dynamic with johnny actually #because i GET IT #i udnerstand it way too hard:( #mutual obsession and then fucking destroying each other in the process is VERY REAL #AND I HATE IT #BECAUSE I TOTALLY UNDERSTAND IT!!! #ive said id kms if my fp died way too many times and i 100% meant it #COUGH because girly tried COUGH #okay im just lore dumping in yhe tags #moral og the story is doli is insane and relates way too hard to dally to be normal #dolirants

[rapidhighway]

I'm so tired of losing things man, half of my day is me looking for my own things because I forgot where I put them. I do this every day the whole year. Things just disappear and appear in front of me hours later when I've given up looking for them. I'm in a prison made up of a goldfish's memory. It ruins all my plans it ruins my whole day and it doesn't matter if the things have a designated spot because i will put at least one thing not on its place and have a breakdown next day as I'm looking for it

#AAAAA #okay sorry im really sorry im just unwell today ok augh #idk what's wrong with me rn im just very bad ok I'm going to fucking lay down I think #vent #auaugh i hate tagging posts as very uhhhh

[onomatopiya]

-

-

-

babe wake up anthony mental illness compilation dropped

transcript below the cut:

Here was something you didn’t hear in the interviews: Anthony Mason fucking hated mirrors.

Sheets covered every mirror in his bedroom, and he averted his eyes around reflective surfaces at every opportunity; when he was younger, he’d hidden under tables and rocked himself, his eyes squeezed shut to avoid meeting his own gaze. It had been enough of a concern for his parents to consider finding him counseling, but they hadn’t wanted word to get out that their heir wasn’t right in the head. In the end, Anthony learned to hide his terror behind a perfect smile, and no one had spoken on it since.

-

Twenty-one was found in cheap clubs and the sun on his face, in boys kissed in the shadows and eyeliner smeared dark under his eyes. Twenty-one was a pulse beating frantic against his wrist. Freedom so limitless it ached. Beautiful ugliness that he’d never gotten to taste.  Anthony didn’t feel twenty-one. Sometimes he hardly felt a year old.

-

He wasn’t living in his parents’ shadows. He was the puppet doing tricks on their stage. First and foremost, Anthony Mason was an heir, investment, figurehead—he was theirs. Even if he wanted to, he couldn’t have been anyone else. He didn’t know how.  

-

“I couldn’t do this without you,” he exhaled, and he saw the way Lahar swallowed, the tips of his ears red. “You have no idea what this means to me.”

“What does this mean to you, Anthony?” Lahar asked, quiet, his voice wavering with the same nervous energy that thrummed through Anthony’s veins as he stepped close enough for them to share breaths.

Everything, Anthony thought, and kissed him.

#writeblr #writblr #rr #* #all of this from one fucking chapter btw #i have a love-hate relationship with anthonychapter 1's prose but anthony makes me sooooo. augh #he's got depersonalization issues. he's everybody's pawn. he's an nft bro #and to him lahar is thee only real tangible thing in his life. but lahar hates him so much and is fully planning to fuck him over big time #the dynamic ever. jesus fucking christ #draft two is really fun guys #(everyone is doing awful) (send help) #if you read this essay in the tags i'm kissing you platonically on the mouth :)

[bookwyrminspiration]

i've been having some discourse thoughts recently and going back and forth, and I don't really have a final conclusion at the moment so I'm just writing it out to try and make sense of it. I am not intending to get into heated arguments or cause problems, I'm genuinely just trying to question thoughts and beliefs I've been holding to that i picked up from others to be certain whether or not they're solid and I want to continue in that manner because reflection, introspection, and critical thinking are good practices. and posting it because consulting and engaging with others and perspectives outside your own is helpful. so don't mind me trying to sort myself out it's a genuinely earnest attempt to properly reason it through

the crux of it is that I realized it seems hypocritical of me to say I firmly believe in shipping and letting ship, supporting fiction's right to be fucked up and unhealthy, controlling your own experiences, for people to do what they want with fiction because fiction is not reality and should be a safe space where you can explore fucked up things, agree that policing what you can and can't do with fiction is a dangerously slippery slope, and then also turn around and condemn wylinh/wylinh shippers

I don't like the ship myself, I've made numerous posts discussing why I find it harmful--the main thing being its an adult x minor ship (Alden and Della's relationship is completely different, do not bring it up here as a counterargument. you can ask me to explain further if you don't understand). But people are allowed to engage with things that would be harmful or predatory or questionable or etc. in fiction; it's fake. People have said it before, but writing about murder doesn't mean you want to commit murder and all that.

So then since its okay to ship fucked up things because this is fiction, the problem with wylinh seems to become that people ship it in the same manner they do other ships without adult/minor dynamics, not with the understanding that it's got questionable elements. That it's okay to ship fucked up things but you have to do it a certain way that I think is acceptable (you have to know its not really healthy irl), and I don't think that's a mindset I want to have? That people's shipping needs to meet a standard I set? Even if I don't like it? I'm not arbitrator I don't get to decide those kinds of things for others, I just get to decide for me

And another big argument that's been made (including by me) is that children/young teens read these books and find fandom spaces even if they're not supposed to be here, and that that exposure could normalize a harmful age dynamic. Because while Wylie and Linh may be lovely people, they're fictional and it's not reflective of how an age gap like theirs would look irl and children could end up missing red flags of predatory people in real life by thinking of it like idealized fiction. But think of the children rhetoric is one that has been often criticized as cover for more malicious intentions (such as in politics) with the convenient safe fail that if you disagree, you must not care about children.

Part of the critique of that rhetoric is also that the actions being defended don't actually help or protect children. So I'm now wondering, does trying to stop (I can't think of a better word at the moment) wylinh shippers actually achieve that goal of protecting impressionable kids from idolizing an unrealistic relationship, or does it just motivate them to hide it and not trust the people who are, to them, unjustifiably criticizing them?

Wylinh is a widely disliked ship in the fandom, and that's okay, we're all allowed our opinions including negative ones. I just feel as though I'm contradicting myself on some points and want to straighten them out for myself. I don't like Wylinh, I don't ship it, I don't engage with any Wylinh content because of the aforementioned reasons. But my personal dislike shouldn't shape fandom spaces and others' actions, and making sure people are shipping things the "right" way feels like a much more harmful slope.

And if the best course of action to align with that is to just focus on myself, not engage with what I don't like, and politely share my thoughts without forcing them on others or trying to control their actions when the opportunity arises (though maybe this isn't the best course of action, there may be others), that makes this whole post feel redundant because that's...already what I'm doing. I suppose this is just to change my internal perspective not my outward actions? My intentions?

There's no real final conclusion to this, it's just me going "hmm, I've been criticizing wylinh shippers for shipping what I think is a harmful ship, but I also believe in shipping and let ship and allowing fiction to explore harmful things and not controlling others. can these co-exist or do I have to rethink something?"

and I think the answer is I have to rethink something? and that something is criticizing people for shipping wylinh. i still maintain my critiques and dislikes of the ship, but that's a separate thing. i find it more important to maintain and respect individuals right to engage with fiction of all sorts how they want to, without control from others

there's probably a million ways to negatively misinterpret things I've said, so just know all of this is genuine reflection made in good faith. i am earnestly trying to figure it out, and if anyone has input or opinions or perspectives they'd like to share you're welcome to, provided its also in good faith.

alright cool that's all, please do not be mean to me as I try to be a better person because I know its a discourse heavy topic :)

#kotlc discourse #discourse #i can't help but feel like I haven't worded this well and its all going to go wrong if I post this #but also. i am not going to let myself be ashamed of questioning things. even if I come to a similar conclusion at the end #so. don't be like 'how could you entertain these ideas--' because you need to think through both sides to best understand your own position #and i'm trying to figure out what that is #i don't want to just go along with what others say I want to understand where I stand and why #and right now its that I think I thought of wylinh shippers in a way that contradicted other beliefs and values I hold #and I want to correct that #so. this post is me trying to figure it out #i keep writing tags to stall because I'm nervous you'll all hate me for this #but like I said. won't be ashamed of questioning things #also am open to other perspectives and changing my mind #i can learn #augh this is. stressful. be nice please I'm trying to be a good person #long post

[pyonzzz]

【 portrait of a rabbit 】

#luci art #enstars #ensemble stars #nito nazuna #nazuna nito #im gonna do something that might make people mad but im being HONEST #shunazu #kuronazu #if you look youll see it #anyway #this was the most poetic caption i could think of #i wanted to try and redeem this somehow by being pretty but gods i really hate how this turned out #i dont like it very much !! the sketch was better !! #but its okay because i finished it and i learned from it and thats what matters #man my eyes hurt #augh .... ughwaaa ..... someone hold me #anyway anyway this has been the mad ramblings of a nazuna fictive during a caffeine withdrawal im gonna take a fat nap now 😴 #oh i forgot a tag #ex valkyrie

[idololivine]

second guessing the safe sane and consensual tag on the knifeplay fic now because isn't knife play inherently unsafe... do I need to swap the tag out for risk aware consensual kink... am I overthinking this..........

#my posts #I hate tagging fics augh!!!!!!!!!! #I am going to BED goodnight