#I HAVE TO LEAVE FOR WORK IN 10 MINS SO IM JUST POSTING
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whom the shadows sing for — (and the thief's echoing hymn)
a/n: here she is... chappie four <3 thank u for ur patience and 1000 kudos to the anon that made a plot suggestion that i had already written lmao-- as always let me know what u think! things are heating up....
word count: just under 4k
synopsis: You return to regular training for the first time in a month. Azriel asks a favor from Rhys and finds you in a less than stellar condition when he returns to camp
CHAPTER FOUR :: FRIENDS
Velaris is a sight for sore eyes.
After nearly a month of endless white scenery, of the blinding glint of the sun against snow, paired with endless pine, the sight of a city is a reprieve in itself.
And because it’s Velaris — because it’s home — something else settles within Azriel.
A hackle that always stays on high alert finally lies down. The constant agitation of his shadows falls into a calming hush. He breathes easier.
He's back with his family and can be here to keep them safe if need be. He's back to the closest semblance of comfort he's ever known.
Where do you find comfort?
Azriel blinks a little, taken aback at the abruptness of the thought.
The lone shelter in the mountains, spaced out from the circle of buildings, every bit representing your isolation from the people of the camp — that was your home.
Where you resided and took solace from the world in, the place you felt safest. But... it's no place of comfort. It's a crutch. A necessary support. Somehow, Azriel has no doubt that if you could survive out in the snow, burrowed amidst the elements, you would, if only to have one less thing to maintain.
You've never even seen a city before, he thinks. All you know is the mountains.
Suddenly, eyes cast across the breathtaking beauty of Velaris, the hum of the Sidra carving its way through his beloved home, the buzz of people on the streets, Azriel recalls the very time he lay eyes on it himself.
It never stops being breathtaking. That much is true, but then again, there was no comparison to the first time.
The warm feeling that had grown in his chest. The way something he hadn't known ever existed within him had unfurled, like a flower blooming in the sun. Something Azriel now knows to be hope.
He hadn't known a place this beautiful could exist.
Wouldn't have been able to dream it up when all he had known for so, so long was darkness and shadow.
Even in the time after the cage, all there was to see was the white of winter and the cold bite of the harsh mountains. He learned how blood looked melting into the snow, how to sleep with one eye open, and all the different shades of cruelty.
Azriel remembers being unable to comprehend the sight, the stumble in his heart at the indisputable proof before him. That despite what had been drilled into him by his father, his brothers, by every Illyrian warrior who punched down on bastards, there was a place where peace reigned above all.
People who lived in harmony. Where Art and music are considered a treasure alongside other skills, each equally important. And Azriel belonged there, as much as any of them.
It had been one thing to walk through the city, to marvel at every cobblestone, at the trims lining each and every window, to have people regard him with such a polite and casual manner — not a second glance at his wings or his hands.
It had been something else entirely to fly over it as night fell.
Mountain ridges illuminated by his most constant friend, the rising moon, watching the moonlight spill over the dark red rock of the mountain and paint it ever softer. Sweet ocean air and the very perfume of the city intertwined within the current as he soared above it, mighty wings beating.
Azriel could remember that first day and night in Velaris vividly, like an unforgettable dream. How easy it had been to fall in love with it, to let its arms unfurl and to allow himself to make a home within them.
Looking out across it now, as Faelights begin to twinkle and blink to life as the night creeps in, all Azriel can think of is how much he wants that for you.
To bring you here. To have both of you fly above the city and wander down the streets aimlessly, to show you that there were places far kinder in this world than all you had known before.
He yearns for you to have the same dawning realisation he did—that so much more existed outside of those gods forsaken mountains.
Azriel knows you're a very guarded male. You have more than enough reasons to be. He's already pushed a thousand boundaries you have and each time you let him into your sanctuary in the mountains is a sign of enormous trust.
Maybe for that reason, Azriel wants to be the first to extend that kindness to you.
A twinge in his chest sings a different, golden answer.
Azriel ignores it and steals one more look out at his home, swallowing down how all logic seems to be pointing to the same thing, time and time again.
He finds the High Lord in his study, papers stacked high on his desk that have only grown higher in Azriel's absence. His dark hair is tousled in a way that means he's been running his hand through it too much.
Azriel lifts the shadows from beneath his feet as he enters, letting the other hear the sound of his soft footsteps. Rhys looks up at the new arrival. Despite his tired appearance, it does nothing to dim the grin that overtakes his lips at the sight of his brother.
"My, my, aren't you a sight for sore eyes?"
Azriel grins back, stepping forward Rhys pushes back from his desk and stands. His usual wings have been hidden away through his magic and Azriel notices their absence when he pulls him into a brief hug. Rhys lingers close, his violet eyes raking over his friend.
"Not bad to see you either."
"You flatter me." Rhys purrs, his voice all buttery and smooth. "You've got new eyebags. Overworking yourself as usual, are we Az?"
"I presume you make such lovely comments about Feyre too?"
"And risk her wrath?" Rhys smiles, eyes glittering at the mention of his mate. "Never."
Azriel rolls his eyes, letting his obvious endearment at his brother's happiness show. They truly are a perfect pair.
He crosses his arms across his broad chest tightly, if only to hide the fleeting flicker of wanting the spools tight in his chest. A ribbon of envy, woven between his ribs.
If Rhys notices, he doesn't comment. Instead, he says, "Usually, you're itching to escape the mountains but not this time I see."
He pauses, eyeing up the Shadowsinger to see what response it'll give. Azriel yields no comment back. Expecting this, Rhys smiles.
"Either way, you'll be happy to hear that Cassian has returned from his time off and is ready to resume his usual duties."
Azriel stills at the words.
He knew that Cassian would at one point return to his usual positions and that Azriel himself, would return to his spymaster post. But it's come sooner than expected. Perhaps, time with you has been passing far quicker than Azriel thought.
"I found the cause of the rumours."
"Yes, I assumed you had," Rhys says, wandering back around the deck to slump into his chair. He leans one arm against the armrest, his knuckles against his temple.
"I also assumed that you spent all that time dealing with it. Much of a problem?"
Azriel considers his words carefully. The trust he's managed to garner with you is fragile, though he knows his friend would not severe it or interfere if he asked.
Another part of him knows it's unusual behavior of him, to offer his skills so willingly to a stranger. But, well, you're not exactly a stranger anymore.
"There's a male.” Azriel begins, choosing his words carefully. “A bastard, the one causing all the stir-ups. He feeds the other bastards when he can. It's what had Lord Mylind kicking a fuss."
Rhys curses lightly at the realisation of just which camp they are dealing with.
"He's learning to make healing tonics," Azriel continues, noting how Rhys' head straightens up a fraction. Interested. "In hopes of slipping them to freshly clipped females. To see if it can reverse the damage."
Rhys sits back in his chair completely, his hand brushing over his mouth in deep contemplation. For a moment, he says nothing.
"I suppose I don't need to ask if there's been any female training then."
Azriel feels himself glower instinctively, his wings hiking up an inch higher without meaning to. He thinks of Lord Mylind and the conversation he had on the first day in their camp. The sheer display of male arrogance, snarling, and threatening violence outright.
"No.”
Rhys curses again, his eyes crushing closed. He seems to filter through a pained reaction, his face contorting until it lands on a tired resignation.
“The camp of Exordor made very good on a bargain struck during a very hard time.” Rhys grits the words out.
Something dangerous flashes in his eyes at the mention of the deal that had turned sour. A cold ripple of night shudders through the room.
No amount of soldiers supplied during the war had been worth the suffering that camp Exodor alone produced— or continues to produce if the whispers that came out of there held an inkling of truth.
It’s a rotten place, tucked deep in the mountains, and some of the worst brutes Rhys has ever had the displeasure of meeting were born in the bowels of that place.
“It doesn’t lift for another 50 years." Rhys sighs, his voice wavering with a hint of shame. "I can’t touch them without slaughtering them all— innocent or not.”
Azriel didn’t say anything for a moment. This information is not new. He watches as Rhys digests his silence, leaning back in his chair as the wheels spin in his head, dizzyingly fast.
For the second time, Rhys' brows jump.
“You’re helping him.”
Not a question.
Azriel nods.
"You don't want Cassian to take back over."
"No," Azriel murmurs. "Not yet. The male is... He's guarded. Isolated. It has taken time to earn his trust. I believe in what he wants to do and I believe he has what it takes to achieve it.”
He thinks of the quiet evenings within your shelter, your patience as you taught Azriel what you could — how you took every piece of information from him on the chin, not one complaint of ever tiring. He thinks of the heaving in his chest, the tug on his heart.
"I ask that you let me see this out." Azriel finishes, his shoulders rolling back as he stands tall. Let Rhys understand how this had become more than just a mission to him; it’s a personal calling, one he must answer, one that he needs to see out to the end.
Rhys surveys him intensely, unblinking for a moment. Then something devious crosses his face, catching in a smile.
"That's not the only thing you want to ask me, is it?"
Azriel looks to the ground, suddenly bashful. This would be entirely too revealing of the closeness he felt, to ask this, to offer this. He asks anyway.
"I wish, with your permission, to take Heartstriker." Azriel's voice rumbles lowly. He forces his eyes back up, meeting Rhys' strong gaze. "To gift to him."
Something dips into Rhys' smile, threatening a smirk and for that reason alone, Azriel feels his ears tinge hotly. His face remains calm, however, giving nothing away.
"Heartstriker? As a gift?" Rhys repeats, with a sly smile. "Pray tell Brother, when's the wedding? Since when have you ever been known for gift giving, let alone something as dear to you, such as a sword? I might just have to meet this bastard."
Azriel’s ears only get hotter, betraying him. He prays it doesn't show on his face, though he's sure the increased swirlings of his shadows give him away. And Rhys’ infallible ability to read his flustering each and every time.
"Is that permission?"
Rhys, seemingly realising he won't be getting any juicy details, quits tormenting his brother with a flourish of his hand. He leans back in his chair relaxed, a softness creeping into his expression.
"It's been yours to take all these years, Az." Rhys finally lands on. "You did earn it, after all."
—
The shelter looks bigger without him here.
Betrayingly, it’s the first thought you have when the door swings open, letting you into your nest of safety. You heave in a breath that rattles loudly and it gets swept up in the foul whistle of the Mother's Kiss.
On your side, your blood-soaked hand clutches your abdomen tightly. Pain spiderwebs up your body, fraying every nerve with a burning agony.
Every step feels loud and clumsy.
You cough as softly as you can, yet still feel the warmth of blood on your lips. The familiar metallic tang overwhelms your mouth.
You must be dripping blood behind you, dragging a slushy mess of crimson snow in on your boots. Fuck, what are you doing again? Your head throbs. They must've knocked your head hard this time if you're losing focus this quickly.
The Mother's Kiss howls fiercely, a reminder of the cruelty outside your little haven.
Right. You remember you need to close the door— and you shove the deadbolt closed along with it. If your ribs were aching a little less, you would reach up and do up the second deadbolt too, at the top of the door. You try to anyway.
Your arm gets mid-way up before you freeze, pain lashing every nerve in your midriff, enough to make you wince loudly. The bindings on your chest aren't helping. For a moment, dark spots dance before vision as you quickly tuck your arm back down, moving too quick.
Fuck. Fuck. One deadbolt will have to do.
It feels as if the whole world lurches when you take your next step, blurring like thick taffy for a split second. You stumble towards your bed and realise as you sink onto your knees on the edge of it, you need to dress your wounds.
Another bloody cough. Has your nose stopped bleeding yet? It's impossible to tell between each and every other ache.
What were you doing again?
Without meaning to, you begin to slump over, nearly lying down in your bed.
Dressings! That's right, you need to make sure the wound on your side isn't still bleeding, need to make sure it's clean when it finally begins to clot, need to...
Need to... what did you need to do?
That's right— you need to sleep.
Your head crumples against the pillow like a dead-weight as you collapse against it, exhausted. As your consciousness wanes, you cough again, a splatter of red spraying your pillow.
Not good, you think absentmindedly. Eyes slipping shut, you miss the familiar figure out the window, approaching through the storm.
—
You're wincing before you even realise you're awake.
Crackling. Logs spitting out little snaps fill the air, the quiet roar of a hearty fire; the first things you hear when you come too, far too slowly for your own liking. Your left ears hum loudly in discomfort— no doubt a result of one of the harsh hooks you had caught in the face earlier today.
Next, you smell something... clean?
Your tongue comes out gingerly, licking your cracked lips and you realise quite suddenly, there's an absence of blood on them. The thought slams into you at the same time you realise; you hadn't been able to stay awake for long enough to even light a fire.
Panic reaches through your ribs and grips your heart, tight, and you sit up without thinking.
Pain follows you closely like a lazy afterthought that slams into you, soaking into your body meanly and making you regret moving so fast. Your head swims heavily, throbbing dully.
A pained noise threatens to leave your lips and you force it down. Then force your head up, eyes blinking rapidly, trying to assess the threat, trying to do something.
Panic squeezes your heart painfully again when your hazy vision clears just enough to reveal the shape of a body before you— your blood chilling in your veins as you realise there's somebody else in here with you.
The whimper you held back before slips out before you can help it, your body squirming backward without thought. Your breaths comes out in sharp pants, bursts of pain accompanying each one, and right as you hit the wall, your vision focuses.
Your lungs empty in relief.
It's Azriel before you, on his knees, his scarred hands are held out in front of him.
They aren't touching you, just hovering, his palms up to indicate he means no harm. His wings are tucked back, hunched down to be smaller than usual, and all around him, his shadows whirl about animatedly.
There's an expression on his face you've never seen before.
"—on't move," He's saying, his low voice finally registering in your ringing ears. His hazel eyes are fixed on your face, darting about quickly. "You'll re-open your wounds."
He's talking about your wounds but for some gods forsaken reason, all you can think is how surprised you are that he came back.
The thought loops endlessly, like a holy mantra —he came back, he came back, he came back— and you realise that you were both terrified and also sure that he wouldn't be coming back at all.
That somehow, somewhere along his trip back to his home, he would have realised you weren't anything worth coming back for.
"Azriel?" You wheeze.
Just to check—you have to check.
Maybe he's a mirage. He certainly would be the kindest mirage you can think of.
You think you see something soften on his face, his wings dropping an inch lower behind him. His hands are still held out before you, still waiting. He's endlessly patient. His shadows seem to slow a bit, less frenzied.
"Yeah," He murmurs gently in response. His hazel eyes burn as they take in the sight of you again. "They got you pretty messed up. huh?”
You're sitting on your bed still, you realise. Blinking slow, you take an inhale, trying to put together how he got here— your eyes fly to the door. It's locked, this time with both deadbolts secured.
Azriel follows your gaze, turning his head slightly. "They're a good precaution. Don't be dissuaded that the spymaster of this court managed to get past them."
You wheeze again, some delirious laugh that gets cut off when pain splinters through your side. You groan lowly, unable to hold it in and your hand creeps slowly to paw at your side.
Faintly, you can feel the scrape of bandages on your skin, covering the wound, and sigh in relief. It makes your diaphragm sink down, the bindings around your chest shifting and that sends a frantic bolt of alarm through you once more.
“You—” The word scratches out your throat and you cough weakly. Every instinct starts to light back up, hackles rising— there has never been someone else around when you're too weak to defend yourself. It takes a moment with eyes closed and measured breaths to lean into your trust. You trust him, you know you do.
“You... patched me up?”
The question comes out wary and pointed despite your efforts. Though that might just be the gravel in your throat from having your face beaten in.
You don’t know how to covertly ask if he saw— if, that when he pushed your bloody shirt up to nurse the slash in your side, he noticed the gauze around your ribs.
It's an alien and terrifying thought, Azriel finding out. A worry deep in the marrow of your bones warbles in response, a thousand hairs standing up on end at the possibility.
How a revelation of that magnitude could sever the first trust you've had in years.
How it could lose... the first friend you've ever truly had.
A string of nausea tugs in your throat, bile threatening, and you have to swallow it down with the crippling fear that's been thrust into your system.
This is how it goes. The intrinsic balance of the world —to be gifted closeness and friendship, is to submit to the possibility of losing it.
Back against the wall, it settles into you very starkly, a thought sharp and clear; you do not want to lose him in any way.
Some part of you thinks he must see you as some kind of starving mutt, growing far too attached to the first hand that feeds it. But looking at him now, his shadowed face and kind expression, the depth of his eyes... you're convinced he sees something more to you.
And you want him to, desperately.
In a way you can't comprehend, can't begin to understand— how can you be so tied to someone you've known for so little? How can it hurt so much to be parted from him when you're barely friends? When he doesn't even know who you truly are.
Perhaps, you think, this is what all friends are like. You wouldn't know, you haven't had any before.
Azriel nods mutely, a strand of his dark hair falling over his forehead. He seems to be considering his words carefully and you take the moment to steal a few deep breaths.
When he speaks, his voice is softer than you’ve ever heard. "I understand that might be... crossing a line. But—" A waver in his voice. "— but I could smell the blood from out in the storm."
There's something left unsaid in his sentence, his tone clipped. Whatever it is, you're far too tired to discern it. Your body, overwhelmed with tension, abruptly loosens as the perceived threat of danger seeps away. It drains you, a sudden wave of tiredness cresting upon you— because you know, undoubtedly, you're safe now.
Not quite meaning to but unable to stop yourself, you sink down and fall limply against your bed. Your wing curls over you defensively, a blanket and shield all in one.
Azriel's hands finally lower, resting gently atop his thick thighs. His shadows dim their chaotic activity, almost lazy with how they whirl about his neck and shoulders. You wonder absentmindedly what they feel like against his skin.
Looking back at his face, you find his eyes haven't broken their watchful gaze on you— intense enough to stir up an unfamiliar warmth within your chest. You avoid it and his eyes, your tired eyes catch sight of something behind him.
"You brought...?" You can't quite finish your sentence, a vicious shiver wracking your frame, making you curl up closer. Tiredness chases it, the threat of sleep looming closer and closer.
Your eyes close without meaning. In the darkness, Azriel's voice swims before you, muted and far away.
"You have to get better before I can give it to you." His voice has dropped to a whisper. It makes your lips twitch in an attempt of a smile. It's funny, hearing a legendary Illyrian warrior like him whispering.
"Okay," You might say back— though you're not sure if it sounds like a word at all.
It doesn't matter. You're already asleep.
—
tags <3
@strangerstilinski @janebirkln @itsswritten @mischiefmanagers @hnyclover @waytoomanyteenagefeels @idkitsem @illyrianbitch @jeweline16 @fightmedraco @iamjimintrash @maeandering @spideytingley @aneekapaneeka @cassianswh0reeee @viciane @astarlitsoul @mybestfriendmademe @archiveofcravings @reputaytionn-13 @bionic-donut @chessebookgirl @itseightbeats @littleblackcatinwonderland @twsssmlmaa @fanworrior @skysayhi @vintageoldfashion @tequilya @fabulouslyflamboyant5
#azriel#azriel x you#azriel shadowsinger#azriel shadowsinger x you#azriel shadowsinger x reader#azriel x reader#azriel acotar#azriel fic#azriel fanfic#acotar fanfiction#whom the shadows sing for#whom the shadows sing for (and the thief’s echoing hymn)#OKURRRR#LETS GO#I HAVE TO LEAVE FOR WORK IN 10 MINS SO IM JUST POSTING#if theres things wrong with it.... well ill deal w that later#enjoy! <3
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I had said a few days ago I would be posting my tips on how I lose weight the fastest & how i got it done being in sports that enabled this ♡ so here I go:
Btw- just need to say this quickly- I don't condone this and get help if you are able to ♡ much luv
Okay with that here it is teehee:
☆ Okay so When I was in wrestling, we had to make sure we made weight- no if . If you were 6 lbs over then you had to find a way to lose 6lbs by Saturday. When I was put in this situation, some of the girls would 🤮 of course, but I wasn't a fan of the taste so I def took alternative routes such as
1. Calorie Deficit= DUH. Obv. Duh. For safety reasons I'm going to say 1,400 max (which isn't much In real life lol) but I would eat around 800-1,200 max for this. I wouldn't really say I watch what I eat, but I'm also not just downing pure doritos and mountain due. I'll have chips but I'll also eat fruits.
2. Working out/ cardio= I know.. it's a bummer isn't it? But I'm being 1000% honest with you, calorie deficit combined with hot cardio is the key to losing weight quickly. This is what we all did to make sure we were at the correct weight within 7 days. And it's not walk around the block or sit on the floor and do donkey kicks either... it doesn't have to be extremely intense, but you do want to make sure you're sweating the whole time. ☆ bonus points for putting on 2-3 jackets and pajama pants or hot sweats when u workout!! It does a lot of the job for you. For me, my go to would be using the treadmill (I don't even run girl I have it on level 3 and do this for 30 mins while listening to music and day dreaming about my cute skinny future self- and I still sweat like crazy) I also do the same thing on a indoor bike. Like I said, it doesn't have to be sprints or anything crazy , just something that keeps you moving enough to be hot = sweat. Think of jumping Jacks, planks, butterfly kicks, ladder climbs, etc. Also if you have a jacket with a Hoodie, def tie the hoodie secured so u can sweat more! It works I promise.
3. if you have the time, try to workout whatever you just ate sooner than later. For example, ate an apple? That's 95 cals, nothing a 25 minute walk can't burn off 👍🏻
4. DRINK YOUR WATER. I know everyone says it BUT there's a reason they do okay. Water keeps your lips hydrated and soft. Water will keep your body hydrated, water will help keep you full (to an extent if im going to be honest) if you feel hungry after drinking water, try sucking or chewing on ice- water's cousin ♡ they go hand in hand. Also- I add chia seeds to my water for the fiber and mint leaves with lemon and Cucumber in another ( I have different cups) the mint drink helps with bad breath (from not eating) AND speeds your metabolism = lose weight faster. I also drink green tea for the same benefits + 0 calories so yay ♡
5. FOOD EXAMPLES. Chances are, If you're too focused on how hungry you are and how much it sucks that you can't have fatty foods- you'll break. You won't succeed. So let's make it as beautiful as we can. By that I mean the dishes you make. Some popular dishes we would do within the sport was 6-8 leafs of big crunchy Romaine lettuce with lemon and salt over them. That's around 10-15 calories. Another one was thin slices of tomatoes with salt. Get creative and add seasoning if needed ✨️ if you like spicy food then you're in luck cause adding spice to anything fills u up quicker:-) a good spicy choice I do is steamed garbanzo beans with tapatio. Another good (non spicy) option is steamed artichoke with light Mayo! Get fancy here guys yall can steam so many vegetables and have so many nice looking meals 😊
6. STAY CONSISTENT = I know it's easier said than done, but when you're about to grab that pizza, understand that you're conscious enough to make the decision to not eat it. If your body is fighting with your brain, then you have to trick one of them. Yes, be delulu. Tell yourself it isn't good. Tell yourself the pizza is just another thick slab of grease with artificial cheese over it. Think of how you'll feel once you eat it. Think of the grease lard and calories you're shoving down your throat. Convince yourself it's disgusting. Eventually, you will find it disgusting. And this can work the opposite way as well ✨️ glorify thin slices of fruit. The satisfying way it feels to eat low calorie naturally sweetened fruits from earth. Same with veggies and water and anything 0 calories.
If I have any other advice ( which I'm sure I do I can't just think at the moment!! Smh) then I'll be posting them on this account so follow me for more content but if there's 1 thing to take from all this, it's this:
Self-discipline & self-control
So many of us don't get to our goal weights because of these 2 right here. Find the self control to not eat the food your family brought home. Find the self discipline to carry on your good habits of eating minimal & healthy and gradually make your way to the end goal ✨️
I believe in you all! We got this, one day at a time 💕
#ed not ed sheeran#ed di3t#b0dii chexx#th1nsp1ration#th1n$po#ana0rex1a#@n0r3xia#@na rules#th!nspo#anablr#ed not sheeren#tw ed diet#thinspøo#th1gh g@p#th!n$p0#ed not sherran
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the sick dad matty blurb omfg ACE i’m literally unwell at the thought of mopey messy hair matty falling asleep in ur lap and being so flustered at u seeing him like that- brb fucking crying
also speaking of which genuinely insane timing how you always post smth after i’ve had a very long shift i swear theyre really the one thing i look forward to the most after work 😭😭 uninterrupted horizontal time with ur blurbs it’s true it literally is my fav thing-
also perhaps an extension of sick dad! matty but i just can’t shake the idea of teacher reader being worried about him still and asking annie about it at school the next day and annie just randomly drops a bombshell in the way kids do and says smth like ‘oh daddys so much better today! he’s all smiley and said that you chased the bad coughing monster away for him- can you come do that every time? daddy’s never had anyone do that before’ and it just b r e a ks teacher reader completely pls anyways crying throwing up
(- bff anon also has the can’t shut up disease i fear 😭）
OMG, IM GLAD YOU LIKED IT BFF!!! I just need to look after this man.
like imagine he eventually wakes up and its like 9pm at that point so you're like "okay let's get you to bed" and he's all sad and pouty and says "only if you stay over with me" but he's still half asleep and doesn't quite process what he said for a good few seconds...
wide-eyed, he tries to backtrack, "wait- I'm so sorry I didn't mean it like that! obviously, we haven't slept together yet, but- NO, NOT LIKE 'SLEPT TOGETHER' SLEPT TOGETHER!!! I MEANT LIKE JUST SLEEPING!!! ohmygod-"
you're like "no that sounds nice, let's go upstairs," and matty is silently freaking out bc you're gonna be in his bed. with him. sleeping. he's thought about this scenario 1000 times, and none of them included him being dealthy ill and not having nice sheets on the bed first.
(more rambles below the cut as always)
you get matty to brush his teeth and get ready for bed, even rubbing some moisturiser on him (he just sits there with a dopey grin as you apply)
he always thought you'd be on his chest or he'd be spooning you, but he ends up with his face buried between your boobs and he's out within 10 mins.
oh and the morning after... so much potential...
I must have spidey senses for when you're at work bff!!! the fact that my blurbs make you so happy you look forward to them??? brb vomiting???? that is so kind. horizontal time on tumblr is my fav too, its unmatched.
OH, LITTLE ANNIE TALKING ABOUT HIM PLEASEEEEEE-
I can see her spending the night at hanns bc matty doesn't want her to get ill and doesn't trust George or Ross to keep her overnight.
"Do you even know what 5 year olds eat??"
"bro, why dont you trust us???"
"Yeah... like mushed carrots and shit right. "
you put the kids to work colouring something but secretly call Annie over yo your desk, "hi Annie! I just wanted to ask how your daddy is today, I know he's been a bit poorly"
"...please take her Adam"
she immediately lights up and starts chattering away, "Oh, daddy said he's feeling much better today. he even made me my toast this morning, and he was all smiley the whole time!!! he said you made him all better and played nurse!! can you do that every time he's poorly? he's much happier when you are his nurse than when he goes to the doctors"
obviously, internally you're like "ohmygod he really likes me, and I made him feel better. oh, he couldn't stop smiling, and annie noticed because he was so happy and -"
but externally, you play it cool like, "Oh, that's great, sweetheart! I'm sure next time he's poorly, you can help him feel better too"
Annie is like, "Oh!! I hope he's poorly again soon, I wanna play doctors with you!!!"
you try not to laugh at her wishing her dad ill and just send her back to her desk, but the grin doesn't leave your face all day. thinking about the fact you made matty giddy makes you just as giddy as him.
the next day a bouquet of flowers show up at your door with a note,
"dear nurse y/n,
thank you for coming to look after me even after I cancelled our date. whilst I am slightly mortified you saw me looking like that, I'm more grateful for your help. you made being sick worth it. Spending any time with you is always worth it.
love, matty x
ps, I hope the next time you stay in my bed, I'm substantially less sick, and we're both wearing substantially less clothes ;)"
#the cant shut tf up disease... its spreading...#BUT I LOVE IT!!! NEVER SHUT UP BFF!!!#sorry i hijacked your ask and chatted so much shit...#but sick matty is FULL of potential#anon!#bff anon <33333#teacher au!
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VEXENEER SPECIES SHEET!!!
Ok im like posting this now for my last few 2023 drawings 💔💔💔
(!! SECOND PICTURE HAS DOLL ANATOMY !! ITS JUST TO SHOW THE TATTOOS)
OK so like... say hi to my species giggle gaggle, theyre my most silly one i have... common looking vexeneers like these guys are open so like go nuts ig but please tell me if you make one!!! Ill write some addittional info about them
• There are nonbinary traditional clothing, its practically a combination of the already existing clothing or they can simply wear a traditional robe. Any vexeneer can wear both male and female clothing without judgement and theyre very open about it
• Theyre one of the only species able to fuse with eachother and other species, including their subspecies. Basically like steven universe, but it takes a lot of their energy, so they dont do it as often
• They can be born with wings, tipically males are more likely to be winged (40% more likely)
• Their head wisps work both as hair, horns AND tipically wisps. It purely depends on the vexeneer's genes itself, and depending on that too can determen the thickness and lenght of the wisp
• Max height for both genders is 10", min 5'5"
• Theyre an extremly physically strong species, very agile too! They have extremly thick skin, so it helps them prevent any serious injuries esspecially since they usually stay awake at night
• They used to have regenative powers on their limbs, but after the Stars landed on the planet, they evolved to slowly not have that advantige anymore
• They do not have any sort of visible pupils, the only time they can be seen is if you flash a light into their eyes or scare them as theyre very easy to scare, and it usually is seen as a very faint white pupil. Any other cases are either due to a disorder or medical injury.
• Their traditional music is very folk tale-ish, based on romanian folk music specifically! (Shhhh yeah im romanian i like my music leave me alone!11!!!)
Just a snippet of how they are, I will do a toyhouse all about them eventually of course and ill make a new post about it! They have a lot more going on theyre very silly <|:3
I WAS GONNA LIKE ALSO DOODLE MORE STUFF ABOUT THEM TOO BUT I GOT LAZY IM SORRY 💔💔💔💔💔💔💔
#original species#original species sheet#original characters#void creature#refrence sheet#oc ref sheet#alien species#open ish species?#artwork#ibispaintx#ibispaint art#digital drawing#art#art oc#artists on tumblr
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Why i kin chris skelton :D i just want an excuse to ramble about him instead of doing college work
●• Chris is a people pleaser and he mirrors the behaviours of those around him. (E.g. he mirrors sam when he wishes for his co workers to respect Annie and going to The Blitz with Shaz despute it being way out of his comfort zone)
●•Gets words mixed up a lot (Alicante and Flagrante)
●• Loves making people laugh and if they dont it upsets him
●• Struggling with social cues and misunderstands people a lot (hands sam the tea and bourbons instead of the files, dw mate i assumed that he wanted them too)
●•cant take things seriously for shit (its ok chris, i wouldve laughed at the curtain not closing at Vivs funeral too, could also link to not getting social cues)
●• Frickin easily distracted (Cant believe Alex took his Rubiks cube and gave it away, Justice for the Rubik!) He will just start talking about some random shit like the mirror at the dentist thing though and i do the same.
●•Clumsy bugger, can relate, walked into plenty of walls, fallen down many stairs and i got my foot stuck in a goal net in football club once. Me profile picture is so relatable :'] i havent skated over anyones thumbs though, but thats because i canr even stand up in skates.
●• Will randomly just be a nerd (references star wars and other media he enjoys quite often)
●•Bet he doesbt procrastinate putting his F**CKING SHOES ON THOUGH (Its a current issue dont judge me)
●• Struggles with fitting in and is often mocked, he mostly fits in when he mirrors behaviours of those around him and this can cause issues (The blitz episode where he tells Shaz he enjoyed the Blitz but tells Ray a completely different thing. People.pleasing. to. A. TEE. T? TE? How tf do you spell it.
●•Were both from manchester (im really not)
●•running out of ideas oh shit
●• So i have the Life on mars and ashes to ashes handbooks and each belong to chris and he has a tendency to doodle in the corner of the page with some little patterns. THIS MAN JUST IS ME ISTG
●•Hes frickin neurodivergent (Its never said in the show but fuck you Ashley and Matthew im making the rules now heeheeheeeee)
●•This is a headcanon but he would drink excessive amounts of monster for the caffeine go brrrr thing. Istg caffeine unlocks the rest of my brain i dont use even if it means i dont shut my gob
Yeah i think thats it, anyway i ended up putting my shoes on FINALLY and ive got lime 10 mins until i need to leave and i havent had breakfast. Its fine ill grab a monster omw to college :D
Anyway byeee and thanks for reading this chaotic ass post
~R☆
#chris skelton#gene hunt#life on mars#ray carling#alex drake#mothercain#headcanon#kinnie#relatable#he is our lord and savoury#hehe savoury#sausage roll man#gonna stop tagging now i NEED TO GO#shit i dont have ten mins w#fuck#bye
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JARED CAMERON x Y/N ONESHOT
A/N: Hey guys!! It’s been a hottt minute since I posted anything. I’ve genuinely been so busy with work and uni and lots of moving 😅. Life has just been a lot and finding time to write was kinda tricky but hopefully going forward I’ll be a little better at it. I did have one user ask about me potentially writing something separate about Jared and his imprint and I actually really liked the idea and finally got around to it so hopefully you guys enjoy it!
3 weeks. 3 weeks is how long it’s been since I’ve avoided you. 3 weeks of trying to ignore how much I miss our conversations or your laugh or even just your presence. 3 weeks of pretending Im okay and feeling guilty for not being able to be honest because how do I tell the most important person in my life that I’m falling for the one person they want a chance with more than anybody else. 3 weeks of feeling like the worst best friend in the history of best friends. *Ring ring ring* and there goes the last bell signaling the end of the school day and effectively bringing me out of my thoughts. I gather and pack up all my things and start heading out the door to meet Kim as per our usual routine of walking home together. As I go to put my things in my locker I can hear someone stopping next to me. “Hey would you wanna go get ice cream on our way home?” I start asking Kim as I shut my locker only to turn and come face to face with the last person I wanted to see at the moment. Jared Cameron. “Sorry I thought you were Kim, what’s up?” He doesn’t respond for a minute or two, just continues staring at me. “Cameron?” Looks like he snapped out of whatever trance he was in. “Sorry, I was just wondering if I did something wrong or if you’re mad at me?” “Huh? No Im not, why would you ask that?” “Well I haven’t really seen or heard much from you the past weeks so I guess I was just curious” “oh guess I’ve just been busy and we haven’t really been partnered recently, but I’m not mad.” “Oh okay… cool” as he starts nodding his head and awkwardly giving me a thumbs up, it almost makes me wanna laugh as I feel my lips fighting to lift. “In that case I was wondering if…” “Y/N!!!” He pauses and I whip my head around hearing Kim yelling to me as she runs up. “Im so so sorry I got held back a few mins cause some kids were blocking the door but I’m ready if you wanna start heading home and… oh hi Jared I didn’t see you there” Kim says as I see her slyly giving me a questioning look. “Hey Kim, I was just asking her a question about history class. Hope you guys get home safe.” “Thanks! Let’s go Y/N!!” She replies as she grabs my arm and starts running to head home. I can feel him watching us as we leave but I keep my focus on Kim. It’s about a 10 minute walk, 15 since we stopped for ice cream along the way, before we reach Kim’s house and she invites me in. “Oh Y/N honey how are you? How are your parents?” Asks Ms.Connweller as we’re passing through to get to her room. “We’re good Ms. Connweller thank you for asking” “that’s good to hear, well dinner should be done in about 20 minutes if you don’t mind staying, you know we love having you over” “that sounds great Ms.Connweller thank you” “of course dear, now why don’t you girls go relax in the meantime” and that was our signal to head to Kim’s room. Soooooooo my precious Y/N, do you wanna tell me what that was about?” “Pardon? What’s what about?” “Jared Cameron talking to you by your lucky, which I’m so sorry for interrupting by the way I didn’t mean to” “no no it’s okay, like he said he was just asking about class.” “Hmmmm” “what do you mean hmmmm?” “I think he was gonna ask you out” she giggles. What. “What do you mean?” “Girl did you not notice how he was staring at you when I took you away, not to mention he was in the middle of talking to you, and it’s not like you genuinely talk to anybody beside Embry and I… so yeah all clues are pointing to him asking you out! Oooooohh this is so exciting, I’ve never seen you go on a date it’d be so fun to dress you up!” What. The. Hell?? “You’d want me to say yes to Cameron? Seriously Kim?” I ask staring at her like she’s crazy. Isn’t she in love with him? Is this a trick?? Why would she be happy? “Well I mean if he asks you then yeah! It’s about time you get a boyfriend and he looks like he’s genuinely into you which a green card in my books” “wait but aren’t you into him Kim? Wouldn’t that be wrong..?” “Huh? Girl I just thought he was cute like major eye candy like Embry for example but I’m not actually into him haha” she starts laughing.
“Wait did you think I was genuinely in love with him?” “Uhh.. yes?” I answered more like a question unsure of what’s happening. “Lmaooo girl nooo eye candy haha he’s all yours if you want him. Besides I’m talking to Axel at the moment I thought you knew?” Oh. My. God. “Oh” “wait, is that why you’ve been avoiding him since your guys group project? Awwww you’re such a sweet best friend but seriously if you don’t get with that boy I will slap you cause he’s very obviously in love with you” “I was cause I didn’t wanna ruin our friendship and mess things up” “and I appreciate that and guarantee it won’t even if I did like him like that you should know I’d never make you choose. You’re my sister Y/N forever and always and I love you and support you no matter what. So please please please do me the big favor of getting with him” “hahaha okay Kim, I love you too, forever and always” “Girls dinner is ready!” Ms.Connweller yells from downstairs. “I’m glad we had this talk now idk about you but I’m starving, let’s go eat!”
The next day at school as I’m standing by my locker again I feel someone stop next to me. Now knowing that Kim was 100% okay with anything happening between Jared and I, I feel a huge weight lifted off my shoulders. Maybe that’s why I don’t hesitate to close my locker and immediately turn “Hey Jared, what’s up?” “Hey Y/N, I know this is kinda random but we got interrupted yesterday and I was just wondering if maybe you know you would like to go out with me?” He rambles really quick and closes his eyes and turns his head like he’s waiting for me to yell at him. “Like a date?” “Huh? Oh yeah, uh like a uh date? If that’s okay?” “Okay” “Wait okay? Like okay yes?” “Yes Cameron lol okay yes. I’d love to go on a date with you” he starts smiling and practically bouncing in place “oh oh my god, I, wow, oh you actually said yes I am so happy I promise I will make it the best date ever okay I will see you later!” He goes to leave but I stop him “hey Cameron, don’t you kinda need my number to tell me when and what time the date is and to find out where to pick me up?” “Oh yeah, sorry I got excited” as he sheepishly scratches the nape of his neck and handed me his phone. After putting in my number and watching him excitedly leave almost tripping over another student when he turns to wave at me one last time, I don’t stop myself from letting out a laugh and smiling this time. I just know he’s going to make me the happiest girl in the world and the best part is I didn’t even have to go looking for him. I guess I have the moon goddess to thank for that.
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let's start this out w the following statement
i do not support d*sney, i am simply a product of someone having survived 90s media, this post took more than an hour to make & i'm tired of this rattling around in my brain
Maximilian 'Max' Goof Was Created & Killed by Disney Through Neglect & Number Go Up
max was created in 1951 for the episode Fathers Are People Too, as a plot device for goofy.
his early design is finalized and acts as a stand alone character for the singular episode.
his second appearance is in goof troop in 1992, this was the first attempt to establish him as a side character to mickey for the 90s. this secured his existence in older kids minds (read older sibs) so that their younger peers would hear about it.
here's where you probably know max from. we all felt like we knew this character & he'd been around forever! he hadn't. they just established him that well & made the goofy movie that good. bc indisputabley, the goofy movie is a fucking well made classic story of parent child bonding. certified 1995, with the target age being 5-9, the sweetspot demographic for kids cartoons
the next appearance we see max in is the direct to video sequel, an extremely goofy movie (2000). (no, im not counting the direct to home 1999 christmas special where hes somehow younger again) now, depending on your age you may be surprised there was even a sequel bc you mentally merged the two films together. and if you're one of those people? statistically blessed. the movies not that great. good moments but not great. at this point the target age group is 10 at the youngest, starting to age out of younger kid cartoons.
we've been talking about max the entire time, but let's actually talk about max. max has grown up, he's been taught by his dad, then in turn teaches his dad how to live without him & that he did ok & leaves for college. both father & son acknowledge his personhood. he goes off to live life. now he's 20 years old, working as a valet driver who also hosts some non descrip montage show that he wasn't invited to. he's not even a guest at this show. and idk about you but some of these guests read as the interns were asked to draw papers from a bowl featuring d*sney's least used licensable characters as a throwback to get people to watch the films again.
yall even remember this throwback? bc that's exactly what it was & how it read on screen. "hey, remember this guy??"
that throwback was the last time we see him on screen & likely the final time. we aged up & newer, more profitable charqcters were available to peddle onto younger audiences. so, naturally, d*sney shelfed max. but you have to admit, it's kinda funny. d*sney created this character from birth, for the sole purpose of us watching him grow, learn. growing from the character. watching how he learned enough that he could even teach his father that they'd both be ok when he left for college. his dad cried in pride of a son well raised, a son who loves his father & his community. he learns to be a good person & then gets to do absolutely nothing with his life, stuck working a min wage job w presumably a college degree. kid got to headline with powerline & now nobody knows his name. hell, they don't even know who his famous dad is. bc at least if you have famous relatives, ppl might remember you exist on some level just by association. they created this entire backstory for max, from birth, through neglect & the pursuit of profit
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tag game: get to know me!
thank you so much for the tag @svintsandghosts ! ♥
~~~~
1. Birthday? 22nd oct
2. Favorite color? green or purple, depends on the shade
3. How tall are you? about 5’3
4. How many pairs of shoes do you own? id say about 12 but i only wear like 3 pairs lol
5. Favorite song? currently it's regular by nct 127 buuuut don't ask me my all time fave coz like... i couldn't choose. it would probably be an mcr or green day song lol (or treasure by ateez)
6. Favorite movie? um well i love edward scissorhands and the lotr trilogy. oh and the harry potter movies too! school of rock... horror would probably be the descent part 1 only... ahh don't make me choose seriously i could list so many 😩
7. Who would be your ideal partner? idk... just someone who loves me for me and is kind, loyal... accepts the fact that i have many kpop boyfriends who will always own my heart 🙄
8. Do you want children? not really but i'd definitely compromise if i met the right guy and he wanted one
9. Have you gotten in trouble with the law? nope
10. What color socks are you wearing? none
11. Favorite type of music? pop punk/post hardcore/"emo", and kpop lol
12. How many pillows do you sleep with? ok so 2 for my head, 2 on the other side of the bed, my boomerang pillow and a big square/european one as well... so 6 lol
13. What position do you sleep in? i fall asleep on my side but when im just chilling in bed i can lay on back too for a bit
14. What don’t you like when you’re sleeping not having the fan on, i don't care what temperature it is. my fan stays on. (im keeping this answer cause same 100%)
15. Have you tried archery? nope
16. Favorite fruit? watermelon, blueberries and mango
17. Are you a good liar? no unless it's at work and i have to come up with an excuse to get out of going to another store or to not send one of my staff to another store... then im a brilliant liar. oh im also really good at lying about why i can't hang out or go somewhere if im not feeling up to it (which is most of the time lol)
18. What’s your personality type? istp. im very shy and the biggest introvert unless im comfortable around you, and awkward as fuck lol
19. Innie or outie? innie
20. Left or right handed? left
21. Favorite food? sushi. japanese good in general is just 🤌 delish
22. Favorite foreign food? oh well i just answered that in the question above? japanese. chinese, thai, korean and vetnamese are amazing too!
23. Are you clean or messy? both but trying to fix bad habits and keep my room clean and organised but it's hard when your mental health sucks sometimes
24. Most used phrase?
probably what the fuck and the word cunt in general. oh if you ask sandra my 2ic it would also be i don't care 😅
25. How long does it take you to get ready depends but if its for work about 30/40ish mins
26. Do you talk to yourself? of course
27. Do you sing to yourself? yes lol
28. Are you a good singer? hell no
29. Biggest fear? this is stupid and lame but spiders/insects/bugs/creepy crawlies... just all of that 😬
30. Are you a gossip? not really, maybe a little at work but it's more just complaining and bitching about our shitty area managers lol
31. Long or short hair? for me? long hair. but i like both on other people
32. Favorite school subject? um... none? lol like i didn't have any one subject i was really good at compared to others i was just kinda average in everything but really really bad at maths and science
33. Extrovert or introvert? introvert
34. What makes you nervous? yeah people, public speaking... there's more but ill leave it at that
35. Who was your first crush? his name was matthew it was in year 3. i found out he passed away a few years ago and he had a wife and kid so that was sad
36. How many piercings do you have? just my ears (which have kinda closed up lol) i used to have my lip done too many years ago
37. How many tattoos do you have? one but wanting more!
38. How fast can you run? no ❤️ (lol same)
39. What color is your hair? purple atm but it's faded so i need to redo it
40. What color are your eyes? hazel
41. What makes you angry? so many fucking things. work makes me angry (not my team in store but mostly everyone else) i could rant about my workplace for a whole fucking month i swear. when i see people talking shit about people/artists i love. people who play games and toy with other people's emotions and use them... im gonna stop but i could list a lot
42. Do you like your name? yeah
43. Do you want a boy or girl as a child? none but if i were to have one... i guess a boy... idk
44. What are your strengths? um im friendly and welcoming, kind. i think overall im a good person and that's a good thing... lol
45. What are your weaknesses? shy, ignore red flags and forgive people too easily. scared of confrontation due to being shy so i don't speak up as much as i should especially when it comes to my beliefs and i guess in that sense i can be a bit of a pushover... but only in certain scenarios. i definitely need more confidence
46. What’s the color of your bedspread? black and white atm
47. What’s the color of your room? black, grey and white wall paper on one wall then just a neutral, off white colour the rest
~~~~
Tagging but no obligation; @alphadisaster @septicrebel @jin-neck-shaft @hyuckilstan @saynofakke
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Life Update: Idk where else to write down my thoughts and experiences for almost the past year.
To get myself caught up with the last post I made from last year, it was my final year in HS and I never wanted to leave that rancid hél/hø\e so damn bad. I finally graduated and got into college. This freshman year is the absolute worst. On top of that, I couldn't get a dorm room, which is expected according to the hierarchy of classmen. But anyway, this year's schedule has been extraordinarily harmful to my physical and mentally. Since I don't have a dorm, I gotta commute to my classes every single day. In my case, I must drive all the way from the south to the city (1hr 30min on avg.) This is not a bad drive, unless u wanna beat the I-75/I-85 9 - 5 traffic. Which ALSO MEANS I gotta wake up at 4:00 am and leave the house by 5 if I want to arrive in time for my 8 and 10 am classes. Additionally, my last class during Mon,Weds, and Fri ends at 5pm. I don't get home till about 7. AND on top of all that, Tue and Thurs is when I work my part time shift. The latest my shift can end is at 7:30pm and it takes me at least 30 mins to get home. If I want to get the most sleep possible, I gotta be in bed by 9. My sleep schedule bc of this is incredibly fùçk3d up. Luckily, me and my friend made a little room for me to sleep in my car. Which is also another problem. Bc Im too damn sleep deprived, I oversleep multiple times and end up missing classes. Classes where I can't easily get a PowerPoint w/readily available info to write. I feel incredibly behind.
My mental and physical health has gotten progressively worse since I moved outta my mom's house. I really don't wanna get into grave detail abt my family, but TLDR; both parents are complexly problematic, but one's more flexible than the other. But, Jesus Christ Almighty, living with this man is insufferable. Nothing but complaining, guiltripping, nonchalant shaming, and being plain irritating. He brings a wave of negative energy anytime he enters a room. Granted, there are things that he complains about that are justified, but he's getting more and more senile everyday. So he just gets mad at anything now. It pisses me off but also makes me sad. Another thing is that work is overexerting my well-being whilst giving me such a low pay. For context, I work in a warehouse now. Lifting boxes every other day that are half the size of you will give you nausea. My feet have blisters and my hands are cramping. My calves burn, my entire arm is aching, and my head pounds harder than ever. My friend suggests that I might have burn out, and I believe it with every bone in my body. Working at a place that accepts newly hs grads, ofc there would be å$5h0lés my age and worse. The smell has gotten worse since I moved in w dad. He essentially lives in a white trash neighborhood, so the smell outside is horrendous. This smell has affected the inside of my house and now I reek. And the ppl at work love to remind me abt my smelly ass despite trying my hardest to mask it. I seriously cannot stand other day in there and hopefully I can get a new job this upcoming summer.
But apart from all this, the cherry on top of this shit show was today after work. I got off early and wanted to visit this little gravesite around in my area to take pics and upload on here. I chickened out. It's too damn dark for me to take any so I walked around, contemplating life per usual. I decided to go inside the convenience store. I asked if there were any sleeping pills/melatonin and the guy had asked a question that made my mind go blank,
"Are you homeless?"
Never in life would I hear those words issued to me, but if I'm gonna be completely honest, I live at my dad's house, not paying any bills or insurance (yet), I sleep in my car majority of the day, and I have the worst pay to labor ratio. So technically, Imma borderline broke ass freeloading bum. But anyway, I was even more in shock when he rang my items. I forgot my wallet in the car and told him I was going to run out n grab it, but he just gave me the bag with an empathetic, "it's okay". And now I feel like a piece of shit to completion. Bc in hindsight, Im not HOMELESS, but it damn sure feels like I am.
I can't believe Im turning into every person I've met in the workforce. Ppl who just live paycheck to paycheck and just let the days past by; not doing anything but working. I use to make fun of those ppl at my last job as a cashier while in HS, but seriously, I got the realest reality check of my life. I really cannot live a life like that for 30+ years if I can't figure something out by graduation. Else I'm better off with maggots in my eyes and my skin wilting in the ground.
I'm done ranting, I need some sleep.... GN and happy Halloween ✌🏽
#personal vent#vent#rant#vent post#tw vent#anxiété#ranting#quick life update#life update#real life#this is me#i got nowhere else to put this so i'll keep it here#this is real#this is rough#this is reality#thus is life#revelation
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one last deeply personal post before i go to bed, i have started a new job and there are some red flags but also i have been told i shouldn’t be worried.
i’m working at a local flower shop (which jesus h tap dancing christ is such a relief after two years of working for a corporate chain i’m so glad to be back at a small business). i am still doing sales but honestly its not the worst. its not like im upselling medical equipment to low income people anymore. these fucking rich people are coming in with their amex to spend hundred of dollars on flowers. (i literally have never seen this many american express cards IN MY LIFE. and flowers are EXPENSIVE). this just feels so much more ethical.
but small businesses can get away with more sketchy stuff and ik that. and i keep getting sketchy stuff vibes even though im not the one sketchy stuff is happening.
i know i am part of a restructuring attempt after layoffs but im still holding my breath incase shit hits the fan.
i will say i am very happy to be at our second location even though it is farther from my house (a 25 min commute instead of a 10 minute commute. i really dont mind it tho.) because its a lot more chill and not as crazy busy as the main location. and im less at risk to be a part of the fuckery.
from what ive heard its mainly delivery drivers being lazy and trying to get sales people (my job) or others to do their routes so they can leave early. and at the second location we dont have that. it feels more cohesive here. (i trained at the main location and i just like the vibes at where i am so much better. its also i smaller team. its a family dynamic but in a good way if that makes sense and not a ‘were a family here’ sketchy way).
uhh tl;dr i think im happy at my new job even tho it is sales but i am wary of things ive heard about sketchy management
#my post#amelia’s adventures at work#i hope it works out#i have stopped applying places#but i left a shitty job i hope i didnt get hired at another#i havent told anyone about the red flags#not even jodi my therapist
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hi r/aita am i the a hole uwu fuck this
right so my dad recently had a surgery, when i say recently i mean literally yesterday. i took the day off n everything to drive him there get him back and ive been taking care of him while still managing to care for my younger sisters, cook for them, clean the house, etc... right? so when i asked my now 15 y/o sister (turned 15 last week idk if i posted abt it) to go out and buy some medicine like painkillers and shit to help my dad sleep faster (thats it) she couldve done it right? there a pharmacy literally like 4 blocks away idk its like a less then 10 minute walk. she was there anyway because she went to the gym around there to work out. i call her up and i go 'hey can you pick up this medicine blah blah blah like right now please' and she agrees to do it right. 20 mins past i dont think anything bc it might take her a while to find the stuff and walk back i call her 'hey can you maybe hurry up ?? sorry its just he really needs them yk' and she goes 'yeah whatever i know calm down' and im like ...what??
anyways 15 more minutes past, she should be home. i call her, 'where are you ??' she says shes otw. okay. 15 more minutes, where tf is she? the gym isnt far from the pharmacy btw, literally less than 5 mins. also painkillers n shit are like right by the door and its never busy either. im abt to call her and she sends me a text telling me to open the door. i tell one of my sisters to go open it and she goes outside to see where said sister is. i walk over to the door and ask where sister is and little sister says 'shes here but her friends are here' ..what? what. i see sister walking up the steps a huge fucking bag in her hand and shes laughing w her friends. she steps in her friends still outside. im staring hella hard at her and i close the door and im like where the fuck have you been? i asked you for 2 things. why are your friends here what the fuck? and shes like oh my god i got the stuff calm down. and i say thats not the point you cant take a single day of not hanging out w friends?? (she hangs out w them like 8 times every week deadass)
and shes getting mad at ME?? she tells me they were at the gym with her and i tell her then why are they here?? 'they were at the gym with me' 'okay that still doesnt explain why r they here???' and she take the medicine out of the back and goes 'it doesnt matter oh my god just go give this to YOUR dad'
EXCUSE ME???? MY DAD???? i say 'what do you mean your dad, you mean our dad !!?!' i leave to give dad his medicine and shes in the garage w her friends, i tell her they need to leave and she says theyre abt to but shes just waiting for her friends mom to pick them up. im done w it atp so im like okay fine whatever. its like 3 oclock now and i serve the other girls lunch and i wait for my sister to come in. 30 minutes and her friends mom isnt here and she said 'were not hanging out just waiting' LIKE A FUCKING LIAR.
anyways yeah yall im not bitchy right im in the right for yelling at her right. CAUSE SHES GOING ALL "BLAH BLAH UR SO THIS AND THAT" LIKE SHTU UP OUR DAD IS LITERALLY IN PAIN AND YOU CANT BE AGOD PERSON FOR ONCE??@?!?@#$U^
tldr ; i send sister out for medicine for our sickly father, she doesnt get back for like 45 mins and when she does she says it doesnt matter it took her so long and tells me to just give the medicine to 'your' dad as if he's not her father ??? i get mad and yell @ her blah blah she also brings her friends over when i told her not to n shit idk
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So we went out last night…actually let me start at the beginning. My roommate, we’ll call her AB, invites me and my other roommate, AW, out to a club bc her guy is going to be there and she doesn’t want to go alone. I’m initially excited of course but then I’m like oh i don’t know if I’ll go bc I’m tired. In reality, I’m thinking about my boyfriend because he doesn’t like me to go out without him which is totally fine because I don’t want to go to clubs without him. So I’m really not planning to go and then I’m like I’ll invite him and that way we can all go and have a great night right? So I call him and I’m like hey AB invited us out to a club tonight but I said no initially bc I want to see if you want to come too (we both worked that day and had work the next morning so I was really on the fence). To my surprise, he says yes and sounds excited about it so then I’m getting excited right. Now I’m getting ready, I’m cleaning, making sure my dog is set up Etc. He shows up about 30 min to an hour after our call, showers and then gets in bed and starts playing games. All cool, then I shower, I start doing makeup, it’s about 8:30/9 at this time. Then he's hungry so he asks me to make him a grilled cheese. I didn't really want to but i do it because i love him duh. Now it's getting later, I'm trying to figure out what to wear, I'm trying on my roommates clothes and stuff. He makes some comment about why I'm trying so hard to look good, and why im acting "lesbian" (whatever that means???). So im like ??? are you good? Should i go out in my work clothes instead?? so that pissed me off but i let it go. Around this time he's like im gonna take a nap wake me up to get ready. im like did you set an alarm he says no. cool. so im basically ready but then i realize he didnt feed the dog when i asked him to. now i gotta feed my dog, switch bags, etc. its a little hectic but i have a sec to get in bed and lay down. he tries to make out in bed but im like babe my makeup. so hes knocked out and around 10:30/11 im like waking him up to get ready. of course he doesnt want to get up. so i wake him up like 3 times and then hes just laying in bed. i really hate to repeat myself so i ask him if he still wants to go and hes like "well you cant go alone" or something like that so now i feel like hes cranky and he doesnt want to go. anyway AB and AW are fully ready, ready to call ubers and hes like putting underwear on. Anyway we (me, AB, AW) take a shot and then we all get in the Uber. Now we’re heading to the place, we’re on the list so we go right in, get to our table, get some drinks. It’s a club so you know the vibes. We eventually move to the dj booth bc the guy that AB knows is the dj (not her dude tho). Now we’re posted up in the dj booth, musics going, got some more drinks and I’m trying to throw some ass on my boyfriend. He just stands against the wall THE WHOLE TIME. He’s not dancing, not drinking, not smiling, not talking just standing on the wall. So I’m dancing on him the whole time, drinking talking with AB and AW, we met her guy, it’s a good time. Later in the night, AB leaves with her dude so it’s me, AW and my boyfriend. At one point he leaves (???) or I leave (???) details are fuzzy because I was wasted. Anyway, we’re going back to get into the dj booth, me and AW walk up first and then the security guy doesn’t let my boyfriend in because they don’t want guys up there anymore. I’m assuming because when it was a female dj there were guys and girls up there but then it switched to a dude and they wanted all girls I DONT KNOW. Anyway we (me and AW) walk back out because we’re not gonna ditch him obviously. We go back to the first table we were at initially and there’s a guy there that we met at a party with AB and again when we went to see this same dj dude at another club. He hugs AW and then hugs me. I think this pissed my boyfriend off because we were sitting there not talking I don’t think. Just sitting while AW is talking to this guy. I know she’s not into him so we start talking about leaving soon. (1/2)
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(9 . 11 . 23) - DAY TWO (long post incoming)
RATING: 5/10
MOOD: relieved
today was a mixed bag. i woke up late bc my alarm randomly got set to 6:45 instead of 6:30 leaving me with 45 mins. which isn't that bad at all bc i usually get ready in 30. it certainly was a minor inconvenience tho.
i walked to my bus stop in a rush bc i honestly don't remember what i was delayed. i didn't miss the bus tho. i talked to that one kid on my bus stop. he's chill but he makes a competition out of everything.
he school bus was extremely annoying, they were doing a "sus battle" at the end of the day. im not joking its actually what they called it. this isn't the first time this has happened. honestly it happens every day.
my friend has these weird phases where he ignores everyone. he got out of one today.
i got to school and realized i didn't have my laptop so i wandered around the school looking for it. i called my mom and she found it at home. we had a pre test and i missed 100% of that hour so that was nice
lunch came and the core part of the friend group (me and 3 others) was gone. i HATE the rest of the people there. they talk about lesbians a lot, idk why.
we broke cds in science to learn about collision. i shattered mine so hard that i couldn't identify a single peice
music tech came, we got a new project. me and my friend were allowed to work on a project together. we decided on gospel metal bc were over achievers.
i was so exhausted my 7th hour that i just napped for most of it. i had most of the work done so the teacher let me
got home and had a monster. went to my room bc i was exhausted. i painted and played ow comp for rest of the day
dinner came and we have this really good soup. i almost never eat anything that im not particularly in the mood for. im very picky.
i got a random realization that life is hard and i cried. my mom helped me out n stuff so i feel better
then i made a milkshake and here i am now (btw it was really good)
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Istg i am so tense today 💀
So yesterday was Friday. Its Saturday morning here rn, btw. And some of my friends werent coming to college due to personal reasons. Now because everyone is usually busy in their work, no one has time to send the notes from the classes, so they told everyone to take the day off. Our Fridays are shorter days btw.
Being the head girl of the college, i tried to stop them cuz it might get us in trouble. But they didnt listen, so everyone was taking the day off. So i also thought that there is no reason to go to the college cuz no ones coming. So no one came, as planned.
EXCEPT ONE GIRL. She advertised the plan of not coming to college to everyone on our insta group, and then she just backed out. We thought that it was ok as long as she didnt tell anyone.
BUT THEN WHAT HAPPENED? We get a message from the teachers, saying that the parents have to tell the reason why everyone except that girl came. We panicked a bit but we all had our excuses. We decided not to message the teacher and just tell our excuses on Monday.
And thats where it all came crashing down. We just got a message, like 5 mins before the time i am writing this, that our whole class except that girl will be heavily penalized because we 'lied to our parents about the day being off' and 'breaking the college discipline code'. Btw we never lied to our parents.
Anyways, we found out that THAT GIRL SNITCHED ON US, SENT OUR CHAT'S SCREENSHOTS TO THE PRINCIPAL, AND GOT OUT OF THE PLAN LIKE SHE WAS NEVER INVOLVED. Mind you, if her parenyts had agreed to let her take the day off, she would never have come to school. And she was so unapologetic too. Like i get that we werent all innocent, but snitching and throwing everyone under the bus is so wrong 😭😭😭
I never liked that girl tbh. She fails her classes, she is not good at any extra curriculars, she is a wannabe teachers pet. And she visits the washroom 10 times a day idk why. Thats suspicious, if you ask me.
Im sorry for this long story, but i just wanted to vent out. Please pray for me and my class 😓
-🦔
this girl sounds horrible so i hope your weekend is better, i am glaring at her from my laptop and patting your back as well >:( rude little troll- please keep me posted bc this sounds…i want to know you are ok plz
side rant that happened with a girl in my class that turned out to be a cousin of mine…she so fricking ditzy giggling and making the teacher answer the most randomest questions in class while they give us lecture like bish wait or write it down BUT NO she keeps going and asking about the test and only paying attention to a lecture if its going to be on a test and not the actual INFORMATION WE NEED TO DO THE JOB LIKE BISH LIFE ISN"T ABT A GRADE????? i care abt my grade and study but like i want to perform the actual job correctly so even if the textbook is old i want to understand the idea and actually perform the task up to the standards NOT WEAR MY HEADPHONES AND LEAVE RANDOMLY FOR ABT AN HOUR OF CLASS ONLY TO BUG THE TEACHER ABT DOING THE LECTURE AGAIN BC YOU "LEFT SOMETHING IN UR CAR" why do you have to leave TEN TIMES A DAY TO UR CAR?????????????????? and then she hugs and hangs out with me like nothing happens and smells dirty like idk ur home life but shower or borrow my perfume please TTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT dont even get me started on her cheating and she has the nerve to complain abt her grades being one point less when she cheats??????????? i study and earn my grade honestly PISS OFF but i usually just smile and walk away before i punch the wall <3 bro this wednesday i was cleaning instruments during our BUSIET CLINIC EVER so i had to clean everything for eight hours straight with no help and one classmate lost a tiny screw in the sink when i left to grab some water BC I HAVEN"T DRANK WATER IN LIKE FIVE HOURS?????? so im tired, thirsty, and surviving off some milk i drank in the morning bc we don't get breaks for food either and THIS GIRL HAS THE NERVE TO LAUGH AND HUG ME SAYING THAT SHE WANTS ME TO CLEAN HER ROOM BC SHE NEEDS TO GET SMT IN HER CAR WHILE IM PANCIKING ABT LOOSING THIS SCREW THATS EXPENSIVE AND INSTRUMENTS ARE PILING (and god im so mad rn) and its all a blur after that bc i think i cried or blacked out and kept cleaning ignoring her :') i hate my life bc she thinks we're buddies and i want to slap her
whew rant over….so sorry to sound so violent this girl gets me mad and did also b4 we left class yesterday (it was friday for me) GAH
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