#I KNOW THERES A LOT OF ART LISTEN I LOVE HIM SO MUCH

[placeinthisworld]

ttpdta review part one 🤠

let me preface this by stating that i am a swiftie first and person second in this situation. i have grown up with taylor and feel as if shes my big sister- yes i can make fun of her but if i see anyone else do it i will get fiercely protective. i do understand her music is not only art but also her form of therapy. that being said, throughout these nonsense notes i am constantly mentioning that taylor should go to therapy. i am aware of what she has said about therapy (and why she doesn’t go) but i would beg to differ with her…especially after this album release lol.

taylor is an extraordinary storyteller and song writer. i believe this album is full of evidence of that, but it also has some faults that prevent from being as good as i felt like it could have been. overall the album feels rushed.

i also feel like it’s important to recognize the elephant in the room. i know we probably all expected this to be a joe breakup album, so the fact that it turned out to be a “fuck you matty healy” album shook us all a little bit. i know matty had a controversial history, im not gonna sit here and defend him. i don’t know much about him other than what is forced against my will. i do however know that he struggles with mental health issues/ substance abuse/ addiction. i’m not gonna comment much about his personal issues, i don’t feel like that’s right and taylor’s constant references to drugs throughout ttpd definitely rubs me the wrong way. i should also mention i grew up with an active addict and do view things from that perspective, so i feel slightly triggered by the topic and my feelings about that may just be personal but i do mention that in my notes when it’s relevant.

lastly, i am not a music production girlie idk shit lol. i only know i am a aaron dessner stan so any song with his name im already biased towards and i am aware, if u don’t like that idk what to tell u lol. i just know what i feel like is “good” or “bad” but music is subjective🫶🏻

1. Fortnight:

Hate the functional alcoholic part. Like the beat, the chorus is catchy. One thing i love about a taylor swift song is that theres always a story and its always visual. I like the metaphor of the “good neighbors” of like having this teasing/ longing feeling for someone that you could have had a life with. “Your wife waters flowers/ i want to kill her + my husbands cheating/ i want to kill him” feeling like you were robbed of her life, feeling “all my mornings are mondays stuck in an endless february” reminiscing about the short period of time where you were together and convinced it would last forever (only for it to end before it even started). I do not listen to much post malone but i enjoyed his verse!! So many florida references we get it everything bad happens in florida.

i have not seen the video yet oooopsies

2. Ttpd:

i thought this was the opening of Hey Stephen (the remix) or something at first. gotta say i absolutely love the way she sings “you left your typewriter at my apartment/ straight from the tortured poets department” i enjoyed the vibe of this song, and lyrics up until the “you smoked then ate seven bars of chocolate (OKAY SOOOOOOO ME CODED NGL I LAUGHED at this point i could let this lyric slide- bit then she had to mention the charlie puth and golden retriever thing and ngl it almost ruins the song entirely for me. Tbh when i first listened to the leak i thought this was a fake AI song and that i was sending around a fake leak bc these lyrics started to get a little weird to me. ‘Sometimes i wonder if youre gonna screw this up with me/ but you told lucy you’d kill yourself if i ever leave” …………girl i am begging you to see a therapist (side note did anyone else have a friend in hs whos bf would say that shit a lot?? I remember straight up fighting with a friend who refused to break up w her bf bc he would threaten to end his own life is she did and he was like 16? If an adult is saying that same shit i would be Very concerned not gossiping about it???) “i chose this cyclone with you” my first reaction was: ride the cyclone the musical? Overall i liked the first half but you lost me at charlie puth (hes the one with eyebrow right? I think i get him and miles teller mixed up) (i dont know who either of these men are)

3. My boy only breaks his favorite things:

Okay tbh i thought this was gonna be one of my least favorites, but the total opposite happened. I think this is one of my top 5 favorites on this album. I do think that there is a difference between a poem and a song and that they are not always interchangeable. I feel like if this was edited into a poem it would be KILLER. The visuals, the the story, the vocabulary, the sadness in it. “Im queen of sandcastles he destroys/ There was danger in the heat of my touch/ once i fix me/ hes gonna miss me/ i felt more when we played pretend then with all the kens / cause he took me out of my box” i feel like ever since folklore, taylors been trying to push these big fancy words and sometimes it feels awkward and forced, but this is one of the rare songs that doesn't suffer from that.

4. Down bad:

meh. Chorus is catchy. I dont love the narrative “fuck it if i cant have him/ i might just it would make no difference” but i also have never once experienced that over a person before lmao……….taylor go to therapy. Nothing really stands out about this to me otherwise. No offense, but it sounds like a generic jack antonoff song lol. Like maybe if another artist released this, i would enjoy it more but idk i wouldnt expect it from taylor i guess. Just kinda feels boring to me sorry if u enjoy it <3

5. So long, london:

oh man were done with british men now for real for real. “ two graves one gun. I'll find someone” its over for joe and matty (but thats fine if all she has to say about joe is what i think she said on this album i am happy i think We Get It…) Aaron dessner i love u (remember when he reposted me on his ig ahh).”i kept calm and carried the weight of the rift/ pulled him in tighter each time he was drifting away” + “I stopped trying to make him laugh/ stopped trying to drill the safe/ i didnt opt in to be our odd man out/ im pissed off you let me give you all of that youth for free” oof i FELT that one a LITTLE too hard. I think this is both a song about matty and joe- i think she had a life and an attachment to london just in general through both relationships, “im just mad as hell because i loved this place” and so reflecting back on how both are over and how all those plans with either are done. “You sacrificed us to the gods of your bluest days” OKAY kinda hate this phrase bc it feels like shes placing blame on whomever’s mental health/ depression, like as if they made the conscious decision to sacrifice the relationship solely. This very much feels like “how much sadness did you think i could take before i got bored???” overall top favorite songs bc it doesnt have too many cringey or odd lyrics and the production is 10/10 thank u aaron dessner ilysm king

6. But daddy i love him:

tbh when i got the leak this was the first song i listened to bc i thought it was gonna be the worst one and i wanted to get it over with (i was RIGHT until she dropped that second half……..) and i DIDNT have the lyrics obviously so i couldnt for the life of me figure out if she really said “im having his baby…..NO IM NOT!” until the VERY end of the song and bro…….the cringe. The cringe. The cringe. This is also when i started to question if this was real or if i was passing out a fake leak, lol. I dont understand how she could be saying this shit about matty. And like we all know it lol. “Sometimes growing up precocious sometimes means not growing up at all” …….but like does it??? I feel like thats kinda an oxymoron or something like i understand what shes trying to say and MOST of the time her metaphors and comparisons make sense to me but like this one doesnt. Growing up precocious means to grow up more advanced in maturity, how would that also mean not growing up at all? Is it just me getting stoned and overthinking things? “Ill tell you something about my good name/ its mine alone to disgrace” true that bestie ur doin a great job by being so politically quiet over the past couple of yeats after making a whole asss documentary about wanting to be on the right side of history. But I digress i am just one of those bitches performing soliloquies you'll never see. Overall this song is very weird and cringey imo and i wish it stayed in whatever vault it was sitting in lol.

7.Fresh out of the slammer: “In the shade of how he was feeling” -_- dont like this narrative already. I could honestly go on a rant about why i dont like this song but im going to spare for the sake of my sanity in this review of thirty one fucking songs but its along these lines “to the one who says im the girl of his american dreams” oh brother. otherwise i dont care for many of the lyrics, the chorus/ melody/vibe is mid i guess. It sounds like another jack song (i was right)

8. Florida!!!: “all my friends smell like weed or little babies” okay i know what she was trying to say but im SORRY you cant tell me she couldnt think of ANY other way to say her friends are either parents partiers lmao. Deserves jail for that but luckily the vibe and the chorus of the song are really catchy and florence’s voice is beautiful in it. “Well me and my ghost we had a hell of a time/ yes im haunted but im feeling just fine” CHILLS i loved it. I didnt think i would like this song but (maybe as much as i like no body, no crime which is meh) but no i lowkey love this song and think its really fun. Once again the drug references start to get heavy here in the album and like i mentioned i do get slightly triggered by drug mentions.

9. Guilty as sin?:

okay taylor we get it you masterbate. Another strong jack song and it’s pretty similar to others on the album so nothing besides the sexual lyrics stand out.

10. Whos afraid of little old me?:

“if you wanted me dead you should have just said/ nothing makes me feel more alive” ooooooooooh i love that. I feel like a live or an acoustic version of this song would give me CHILLS. “Is it a wonder i broke / lets hear one more joke/ then we can all laugh until i cry” honestly so relatable, “i was tame, i was gentle til the circus life made me mean” oh :( that hurt bc it just reminds me of the vibe shift during midnights era/ eras tour where it *feels* like she started to pull back from being taylor swift and started to become Taylor Swift (™) and the way her fans/ media has treated her made her mean or cold or something and that just makes me feel sad. “Whos afraid of little old me? You caged me and then you called me crazy! I am what i am cause you trained me! SO. WHOS. AFRAID. OF ME? Again the narcotics line kinda makes me feel icky but thats bc i have that thing about drugs and just dont LOVE all the references to them. Like i know its not that serious but theres a reason why i dont seek out artists that typically talk or write about that stuff ya know so its weird. Overall i think the production is one of the most unique ones on this part of the album.

11. I can fix him (no really i can):

i hate it all around i think. I hate the narrative of “i can fix him!! I can handle a dangerous man!!! No really i can!!!” there is a reason why this song is barely 3 mins long lol it should have been cut but i think taylor wanted to Be Edgy. i dont care for the productions or the lyrics, its very forgetful imo.

12. Loml:

okay i really thought this was gonna be a joe song (rip) so i was thinking it was gonna be really deep and sad and like it IS but with the context of it being the pt 2 fling with matty it doesnt seem like it now. Anyone who thinks this is not about matty please look at the lyrics and be so serious “whos gonna stop us from waltzing back into reklndled flames/ if we know the steps anyway” I think matty just said too much shit to taylor during their fling and taylor WAS truly convinced this her invisible string and he promised her a lot that he couldnt upkeep and ghosted her and she took it SUPER hard, i mean two breakups in one year is a lot (me, whos never been through a single breakup once). I just dont understand how she feels like matty is the greatest loss of her life. One of my favorite tracks on the album, “our field of dreams engulfed in fire/ your arsons match your somber eyes” a LOT of these lyrics are actually really good imo. I think im the only one that didnt find the “mr. steal your girl and make her cry” line idk i thought it was actually kinda neat, the phrasing of it, kinda contradicts the title “love of my life” because he was never that serious or respectful of her and only use her from the beginning. This is another song that i think would make KILLER poem over song. Overall i think the piano is haunting and a live version of this will make me die, thank u again aaron dessner 10/10

13. I can do it with a broken heart:

ngl i thought this was the opening to mastermind for a hot second- also gave me a scare on whether or not this was a fake leak lol. Catchy ass chorus but very YOYOK. “Breaking down i hit the floor/ All the pieces of me shattered/ as the crowd was shouting “more!” ooffffffff seeeeee that is exactly WHAT i was afraid she was feeling durning the eras tour after the joe breakup/ matty situation and all these stupid twitter and tik tok swiffers were out here overanalyzing EVERYTHING and demanding rep tv like every other day. “Im so depressed i act like its my birthday” …….okay taylor. Like a lot of people have said, i think she interchanges “depressed” for “sad” a lot and the two are not the same. I think taylor wrote this song (but specifically the “i cry a lot time but i am so productive” and was like “yup this part is gonna go viral on tik tok,” initially i wrote “feels like taylor saw that depression barbie commercial in barbie 2023 and wrote a song based on that” lol which i still agree with. Overall the production of this screams midnights reject lol, very jack antonoff. Over time this song has grown on me a lot. Originally i didnt care for it but now its kind of a bop but i think its bc its so similar to YOYOK. “Try and come for my job” @taylorswift deadass you couldn’t think of anything else to say instead. cmon. I was mostly on board until that very last part, just seemed very cheesy lol like its not a big deal but i thought it delivered well without it.

14. The smallest man who ever lived:

(aaron thank u for saving me and this entire album) “they just ghosted you/ now you know what it feels like” OUCH. “i dont even want you back i just want you to know/ if rusting my sparkling was the goal/ and i dont miss what we had but can someone give/ a message to the smallest man who ever lived” oh this was somber af. I am obsessed with the phrasing of the chorus. I also LOVE taylors deeper voice its def giving me the same feelings MTR gave me from folklore, that made me CRY and this was very similar. This is another classic taylor song that i could EASILY write like a ten page essay about if someone put a gun to my head. I know that its about a *romantic* relationship, but it feels general enough to be able to relate to anyone who is close to someone with an addiction or struggles with substances. A lot of addicts dont understand the impact of their addiction or their behaviors that they display while struggling. To meeeeee, this feels very much like “you were self centered and betrayed my trust, was any of this true? Real? Am i paranoid or is this that deep?” “it wasnt sexy once it wasnt forbidden” has me thinking lots of things. I think that describes taylors “type”if that makes sense? Like i said i would need to literally break this song down line by line like its ridiculous i have too many thoughts about this song i have listened to it on repeat six times by the time im typing this. “In public showed me off/ then sank in stoned oblivion” FUCK. “you treat her like an also-ran” honestly i have never heard of that phrase/word thank u dr. swift. “Were you sent by someone who wanted me DEAD/ did you sleep with a GUN underneath OUR BED/ were you writing a BOOK?/ were you a sleeper cell SPY? IN 5O YEARS WILL THIS BE ALL DECLASSIFIED?/ AND YOU’LL CONFESS WHY YOU DID IT!/ AND ILL SAY GOOD RIDDANCE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” tears were formed besties. Also love the gracie abrams reference. “And you deserve prison but you wont get time” i feel like is very metaphorical like you DESERVE to be punished for what you did to me but you won’t admit to the guilt, you wont admit your wrongdoings, you wont admit that i would have done anything for you and you have no problem replacing me. “You said normal girls were boring/ but you were gone by the morning” first of all red flag girlie, nonetheless heartbreaking. “And in plain sight you hid/ but you are what you did” i say this with all the love in my heart, someone take taylor swift to a really good really private therapist. I could say more but i think i need to move on because i am now on my eighth cyle of listening to this song.

15. The alchemy:

already kinda hate it. “What if i told you im back/ the hospital was a drag/ worst sleep i ever had” do you think taylor swift has ever been admitted to a real hospital in this context. Feels very out of place and like i said earlier i dont love the psych ward visuals/ references she keeps inserting in this album. “He jokes its heroin but this time with an e” thanks! I fucking hate that line so much. Feels very icky, not funny. I get what shes going for but it falls so flat for me. The football references (yall know my opinion on meathead!!!!!!!! I will not engage!!!) are fucking dumb. Production is kinda lame and uninterested. Will only listen to this song if by force and will not repeat it ive head enough lets move on.

i have Lots Of Thoughts. i don’t think anyone cares about what i have to say though so i don’t think i’ll bother posting the rest lol but i did do a lot of work so ill post just a bit to make myself feel better.

#personal #ts ttpd #ttpd #the tortured poets department

[opbau]

strawhats and bending elements for this au:

Luffy - water

Zoro - earth

Nami - water

Usopp - fire

Sanji - earth

Chopper - non-bender (reindeer)

Robin - non-bender

Franky - non-bender

Brook - air

Jinbei - non-bender (fishman)

little bit more explanation under the cut

Luffy

my man cannot turn water into ice or fog and doesn't have the strongest control in the world, but in terms of raw power? pretty fucking strong

to be clear, he can manipulate ice, fog, snow, etc. but he can't alter whatever form it's already in. Nami gets a headache if she thinks about it too long

learned a little bit of waterbending from Shanks, but never really had a teacher

Zoro

strong earthbender with much better control than Luffy

can only bend earth

metal, sand, gems- nothing. he is very much a one trick rock pony

he only learned the basics from his village's earthbending teacher and devoted a majority to his time to swordsmanship so. yeah

Zoro doesn't even know what the hell sandbending is until they get to Alabasta

Nami

one of the few strawhats to have a formal teacher and learn more than the basics

Bellemere was a great teacher. but. yknow.

Nami learned most of what she knows from waterbending books and scrolls that she stole over the years from other pirates and rich people. And she's learned a lot compared to the other strawhats.

To keep this brief-ish, she's practically a master at waterbending, save for healing. For the life of her, she couldn't really get the hang of it and none of the scrolls or books she had picked up over the years were at all helpful in explaining it. She's still working on it.

The unfortunate part of this is, while she has great control and precision over her bending, her power is... lacking. Which is where the 'practically a master' vs. 'an actual master' distinction becomes important lol

Due to amazing forethought, Nami is perceived by the outside world as a non-bender. Even some of her enemies think she's a non-bender. Nami really doesn't want people to know how good she is at waterbending because that would make her more of a threat and her pretty little heart wouldn't be able to take it if her bounty increased, Robin, so could you do her a big favour-

Usopp

christ where do i begin

the only firebender in Syrup Village. Yasopp is a known pirate and firebender.

Usopp never had a firebending teacher. He did, however, have ample amounts of earth and water benders to watch from afar. He taught himself bending, in a way that works for him. It is far from traditional firebending, but hey it works.

Somewhere along the line- maybe around Loguetown or after- he learns that firebenders really can shoot lightning and it wasn't just a myth. He blows himself up a lot trying to create it on his own before some lady on an island they stop at explains the right way to do it and demonstrates. Usopp still blows himself up, but now his form is correct.

While the other strawhats tend to weave their bending into their fighting styles somehow- or at least use it to aid them in battle from time to time, like with a boost into the air via rock- Usopp never uses his bending in a fight. He likes his bending and all, but he's the sniper and he has a bag of explosives on him so uh. No.

one day, post-Wano, Usopp has a really good day before bending practice and accidentally discovers his ability to combustion bend. He doesn't know it's combustion bending though, because all that comes out are little sparks of fire, like a sparkler. No one else knows either and he just uses it as a party trick.

Sanji

dear god this one is gonna be. AA.

all of the Vinsmokes are earthbenders. Sora is not. Sanji is.

After escaping onto the Orbit, Sanji decided the best way to never be found again would be to never bend again. Ever. (also because those 3 bastards and Judge were earthbenders and Sanji hated them)

He had an earthbending teacher, but anything that wasn't a superhuman feat was deemed a failure so Sanji never actually learned shit from that teacher. He also just wanted to cook all the time, so he never practiced.

Point is, when he's stuck on that rock with Zeff, he has the power and control to lift a rock, but nothing heavier than something he could physically carry himself.

Zeff is a non-bender. While the Baratie has it's fair share of benders, Sanji is Zeff's son and when Zeff offered to teach him how to fight one day, what was Sanji to do other than accept?

Sanji never told Zeff he was an earthbender, but he had a feeling Zeff knew anyway.

Sanji never told his crew he was an earthbender either. This was less of him actively hiding it and more out of habit. He loved them, but he didn't really see a need to explain it to them when it didn't matter. He wouldn't see his 'family' again and he could fight just fine without it anyway-

[Whole Cake]

Sanji: Hm. Hm™

He reveals he's an earthbender post-WCI. Zoro forces him to learn the basics and also adamantly insists that he knew the truth the whole time (he didn't. he's embarrassed). Zoro starts saying some super smug stuff now, like "is that any way to talk to your teacher?" and related lines. Think Zoro's thing about ranking and always insisting he's above Sanji and now that he's got the opportunity, he's gonna enjoy every moment.

(He's also gonna have some kind of earthbending specialty, but I haven't decided yet. Leaning towards metalbender though.)

Sanji faces the firebender rumours instead of Usopp. Both of them are incensed by this bc Sanji wants people to think he's a non-bender still (connection to Zeff) and Usopp is just mad people don't think he's a firebender (quite literally his own fault).

Chopper

always thought bending was cool even if he couldn't do it

Doctor Hiriluk was a non-bender too. Sometimes the two of them would talk and make up impossible scenarios that benders might do and laugh their heads off.

Doctor Kureha is an earth bender. She isn't a metalbender, but everyone besides Chopper thinks she is.

Robin

she comes from a long line of waterbenders, but she and her mother were both non-benders.

The scholars on Ohara were benders of all types and specialties. Fire, Earth, Water, Air all living in harmony and all that. Real shame. Anyway.

Because of Nami's "i'm totally a non-bender teehee" scheme, Robin has become the "strawhat's waterbending witch" that some people spread rumours about. The gist is that Nami begged her to help and Robin thought it'd be fun. Misleading people with her ability and those rumours never gets old.

Franky

non-bender in a family of 1) a fishman, 2) a mermaid, and 3) Iceburg (annoying waterbender his age)

Water 7 is known for a majority of their people being waterbenders. The Franky Family is mostly made up of non-water benders.

Franky didn't really care about figuring out bending as much when he was younger and after the Sea Train incident and he built himself back up, he couldn't bend a thing. He doesn't really know if he just fucked himself up hard enough he couldn't bend anymore or if he never could bend in the first place. He doesn't really care though, too busy being Super!

A lot of outsiders think Franky is an earthbender, specifically a metalbender, because of his whole cyborg thing. Also the no shoes thing. After joining the strawhats, the metalbender thing sort of holds up, especially post-timeskip with his General Franky.

There are also groups of people who are like "this guy is from Water 7, are you kidding? he's a waterbender for sure." They also point to the fact that he's always wearing a speedo and thus always ready to get wet.

The rumours are pretty funny to listen to and he and Robin love to just hang out on an island incognito (or as much as Franky is capable) and just listen to rumours about themselves and laugh about it. They share what they hear with the crew too.

Brook

he doesn't use his bending often, but there are occasions; can do loads of funny little tricks that he taught himself during That Time. He's also quite good at propelling his body high into the air for surveillance.

Not exactly a master airbender, but does have the basics down, like Zoro. There are attempts to mimic Sanji's Sky Walk- more for entertainment and curiousity than anything- with varying levels of success (Brook kicks himself too high, doesn't kick at the right time, etc)

Learned about 'gliding suits' (created after he died) and refuses to ever wear one. Adamant that if he must wear traditional airbending clothing, it's flowy stuff or nothing. (he's shy about form fitting clothing being too close to the skin. well, not that he has any-)

Jinbei

literally the exact same. Fishmen can do all the same things in canon, but they cannot be benders. Reason being: every single one of them is uhh, hmm. best way to say this is waterbenders, but to the left.

Fishmen can manipulate water with their hands but only if they're touching the element itself; they can't turn it to ice or anything like that, but the tradeoff is the immense amount of power and precise control they can more easily learn than humans... or smth like that

honestly, Jinbei's just here to chill in this au and probably unintentionally give Luffy bad waterbending advice (it's advice for Fishman Karate which isn't the same, but it's pretty close right? And Luffy keeps asking and insisting he teach him, and well, who is Jinbei to say no? Surely, Franky, who came to watch, will tell him if he's giving the wrong idea-)

Nami yells at both of them. Then yells at Franky because of his waterbender conspiracy theorists.

#opbauwriting #one piece #*realizes i never wrote out my bending headcanons for each of them* oh shit- #ANYWAY listen High Tide by kurgaya is a great great fic and i love it lots and it is pretty much the sole reason i made this blog lmao #i am just. filled with so many thoughts of domestic bending uses with the blorbos #ideally i'll make this into a fic with Chopper interviewing all of them about it. but for now i wanna have a short post for this #also i love robin don't get me wrong but i just don't have much for her in this au kdjfhdfg #Jinbei advice: just grab it / Luffy: just grab it? / Jinbei: yes / Luffy: okay- ahhhhhh *loses all his strength* #anywho theres a bunch more but i wanna turn those into fics or art (or both) and its getting late so. another time #if i had to give Franky an element it would be Air but like. #i find it much more amusing for him to be a non-bender that nobody believes is a non-bender lmao #ah who knows. i might change it in the future

[orcelito]

Maybe. I could try to draw Dohalim

......later

#speculation nation #like im better at writing than i am at drawing. aka why i pursue it more #but writing is such a commitment for me. and requires a Lot of immersion. #it would take a lot of time for something i doubt many people would even read #so. when the matter is whating to see him More. i could maybe draw him. #listen im following his tag now and theres like one new post a day If Even. & not necessarily art either #i just wanna see him 😭 i need to be prepared for when i run out of video game #what to do when a character shunts himself up towards the top of my fav characters Ever list #but barely anyone within my general sphere of the internet cares about him... #like. i dont think i can say i love him more than akechi. not with how much time ive put into appreciating akechi. #but at the same time it's a different kind of love. akechi is sonboy. dohalim is . hdjskfjdkfjd #dohalim makes my brain putty. probably more so than yuri lowell by this point. which is saying something. #oh i dont know what to doooooooo #and i keep thinking like 'i already have clung to a nearly completely unknown character for the past 7 years' #but it's just DIFFERENT. im okay with no new orcelito content bc ive stolen his identity. he is me. #but dohalim????? i want to SEE him!!!!!!!! i want to talk about him!!!!!! and i cant do that like i can with akechi #not for lack of trying tho. i have several ppl ive been rambling about this game with hfmshfjd #if it gets even One of them into the game with me... it'll have been worth it... #idk. idk idk idk. im too tired to draw rn but i will probably try to draw. soon.

[kerubimcrepin]

Dofus: The Production - reviewing the artbook

This post won't go too deep in detail, it's just my commentary on the artbook — but the next (or, well, one after the next), post will be me doing some actual research outside of it. I recommend you to buy the artbook, and go see its contents for yourself, if you're curious about it. (or download it. It's been scanned to hell and back...)

God, this makes me deranged and insane. Even being baby does not stop Kerubim from loving Joris's jokes... I'm insane...

This part of the artbook has always scared me because like... Does he kill people in Dofus 2, Tot?. Does he.?

Epic events is a funny way to refer to this movie's unending barrage of traumatic events, but man, we were kinda robbed of cool draconic winged Joris. That's sad.

I won't include too much art from the artbook if I can help it, but I wanted to report that this is a very good art and theres a lot of love and um and they love each other and um and [CAR CRASH] [GLASS SHATTERING] ‘GOOD LORD!’ [GENERAL COMMOTION] [BABY CRYING] ‘WAAAAH WAAAAH’ [YELLING] [POLICE SIRENS] WEEWOO WEEWOO [HELICOPTERS] ‘WE’RE REPORTING LIVE-‘ [EXPLOSION] ‘MY LEG… MY LEG…’

I wish I knew what the fuck Tot meant by this. However, knowing that Pupuce is Kerubim's pet, who just liked her owner's kid more than her owner, has fueled some of my headcanons for years and years:

This version of his armour matches the one we could see in the Dofus Manga. :)

I find it quite fascinating that at one point, it was considered for Julith to be an osamodas huppermage, considering it was theorized for some time that Joris might be an osamodas.

I wouldn't call her a tender mother, but eh. She's more of a... "very loving yet despaired mother who doesn't even know her son" mother. A "wants to get back the past which will never return to the point of putting her son into the torture nexus" mother. A "has love in her that is so mentally disturbed" mother. AND I LOVE HER FOR IT!!

I know that her being an alcoholic is a retcon that Dessous did, but its such a good one. I think it's a good show of her decade of slow slippage of sanity. Comic retcons win over Tot's ideas for all Joris-related media once again.

This post was made by "I love Kerubim's dead family from Dofus Heroes Kerubim and Bakara Alcoholism Lore from Dessous de Dofus" gang.

These two huppermages from the movie's concept art were reused in season 4 of Wakfu. Though it would be easier to say what in season 4 of Wakfu isn't reused stuff considering the "shoestring and a piece of chewed gum" budget it was made on...

God, him petting a pupuce is the most important part of the artbook, save for perhaps...

THE KHAN & THE RED-LIGHT DISTRICT & JORIS UNDERAGE DRINKING SCENE

The fact that this was cut is the biggest personal tragedy of my entire life, and I am NOT joking.

Apparently, in this tavern, we were supposed to learn more of his backstory, — like how his father was a gobbowler, but sadly (or happily, if you really hate Khan) it was cut.

But listen. Khan would go to some sexworkers to stare at them and do nothing. He's that much of a loser. He would take a 10yo as his drinking buddy.

This is where my headcanon that he buys Joris booze post-movie comes from, btw.

Compared to the movie's exaggerated visions of Kerubim crying, these images feel like something Joris would remember seeing in real life, something he'd want to avoid.

It feels more real, than just his panicked visions.

#moviehistory #ro liveblogs dofus #dofus #wakfu #krosmoz

[eusion]

i love ur work omg >< can i req maknae line as long distance bfs too? ^^

⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖ ࣪&team maknae line as ur long distance bf ⌒☆

pairing ⌒☆ &team maknae line x reader

word count ⌒☆ idk...

note ⌒☆ thank u for requesting! this was hard to think about since i just think about hyung line exclusively LMAO enjoy!

yuma ⌒☆

sends u lots of memes and silly videos on tiktok. u both have the same humor so hes always excited to share new ones with u

always invites u to play games with him whether itd b just u two or with his friends, he never fails to invite u

same with movie nights

always wears the beanie u sent him & complains that its starting to smell less and less like u

sends u so many selfies in .5 after u introduced it to him this one day. now that he knows u find them hilarious he will send them as often as he can

i dont see him fting much tbh but will always text and check in frequently with a "u doing okay?" message

likes to plan out dates with u, even if its just for fun & not to actually plan. he just likes to be with u even if its just in his mind

as a date u two make little crafts together over ft

"do i grow out my hair or cut it" and does the opposite of what u tell him

jo ⌒☆

takes pictures of the little things because he knows how much u love to see picture updates

learned how to make those big knit blankets so he can make his own to give to u

sends u handwritten letters very often along with printed polaroids of the pictures u two have together

u have several of his art pieces framed on ur wall

when u both debrief about ur days he always asks a lot of questions so he can hear u go into extreme detail

props up his phone on his nightstand when going to sleep so u can see him snooze. he wakes up earlier than u do so he wont end the call until u wake up

asks u what ur plans are for the day n sometimes he will try n match what ur doing

when u two plan a day to meet up, he crosses out the days in his calendar above his desk every morning until the day of

ur name in his phone is just ur name but it has this emote next to it ʕ •ᴥ•ʔ

harua ⌒☆

lots of ft calls with him sitting in his car while snacking

loves to see what u bought from the store n always begs for a haul with u going over every item in detail

matching phone cases that u both bought together, he has not changed it out or taken it off since

hes very playful so theres a lot of banter between u two but itll always end in laughs. hes more than comfortable enough to play around with u & this means a lot

flirting but in a cringe way. the amount of winks & kisses through the camera never fails to make u both shiver

"why arent u here..." in a sassy tone but hes :(((

study calls are a very common thing between the two of u & hes always willing to help u out even if he doesnt know it 100%

always has the sweetest compliments ready for u & will always be the first 10 comments on ur instagram post

while hes out shopping he sends u pics of things n asks "do u like this?" n will buy it 99% of the time if u do

taki ⌒☆

u both binge watch a lot of shows & will get really upset when he finds that u watched an ep without him on ur shared netflix account

his friends always send u off guard pictures of him n when u show him hes extremely confused

always yells a good morning message into ur voice memos. sometimes he'll sing it

fts u with all of the lights off n when u ask him to turn on the lights so u can see him he uses a handheld flashlight n points it under his face

has blocked u more times than u both can count because he thinks its really funny

"when we meet up next time lets do this tiktok challenge"

his every day bag is equipped with all of the pins, chains n small plushies u gifted him

when ur too tired to talk he reassures u that its okay n that he can talk for u so u just sit n listen with ur eyes closed

sends u random videos throughout the day of him dancing

maki ⌒☆

always brings u along to watch his night routine, will prop u up on the sink so u can watch him brush his teeth n wash his face

matching profile pictures on almost everything. whenevr he posts and his icon pops up he smiles so wide because he knows ur the other half of it

records & sends u mini vlogs if he goes out and does something fun n will always end the video with him saying "miss u!"

whenever u two are on ft and his family is in the same room, he always turns his phone around to face them n says "say hi!"

everyone in makis circle knows u very well because he cannot stop talking about u

plays roblox with u when u both have free time... ur avatars are extremely goofy

has fallen asleep on cam many times & u have multiple screenshots n video recordings of him snoozing

99% of his bereals are of him n u while ur on cam

study nights always turn into 5hrs of u two watching random videos on youtube

#&team fluff #&team scenarios #&team #&team imagines #&team x reader #&team jo #&team yuma #&team harua #&team taki #&team maki

[regretisstoredintheme]

Hi it's your local spawn from hell who wrote about Yandere Mickey-

Anyway, can little me request the turtaleles with pianist MC? Yeah thanks my ideas basic af leave me alone It can be a fic or hcs I don't give a fuck-

I'm just a ginger music nerd who craves content that isn't mine-

Makin my way downtown, walkin’ fa— OH?? WHATS THIS??

WHAT THE FUCK??

*SNATCHES PAPER*

“Pianocat939 asked:

Hi it's your local spawn from hell who wrote about Yandere Mickey- 

Anyway, can little me request the turtaleles with pianist MC? Yeah thanks my ideas basic af leave me alone It can be a fic or hcs I don't give a fuck-

I'm just a ginger music nerd who craves content that isn't mine-“

A/N: WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING HERE??? NONONO YOU BITCH YOURE NOT SUPPOSED TO REQUEST FROM ME ??— IM YOUR BIGGEST FAN WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY INBOX🧍 

YES OFC ILL WRITE IT BUT WHAT??? IM OVER HERE MAKING YOU FANART AND SHIT IN THE BACK AND YOU JUST SAUNTER UP HERE LIKE “yo can I get uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh raggedy cloth and others with piano” GET THE FUCK OUT /j

——-

All turtles x Pianist!Reader

—

(In honor of this occasion I only see it fit to write with your cursed ass names) 

Raggedy Cloth:

HUGE sweetheart.

Likes to sit close to the bench, his head and arms propped up on the wood - taking up as little space as possible.

He watches closely, his tail wagging gently in anticipation as your fingertips drum on the keys. His smile widens as he hears the notes, snuggling up to you. 

Sometimes he has a hard time not hugging your torso, having you there in his arms just lulls the turtle right to sleep— doesn’t matter what you’re playing. 

You could be playing the most chaotic, horrifying, heart wrenching piece of sheet music and as long as he was hugging you, he’d be fine. In fact, he’s incredibly content!

If you gently pat his head before playing, the churring that vibrates from him is rather hard to play over— but eh who are you kidding? It adds a good baseline. 

He hardly notices anytime you mess up, and if it really starts to bug you - he’s rubbing up and down your back, telling you to take a break, get a snack, anything to help you calm down. 

Danielston III:

He isn’t exactly the type to sit and watch you play. 

However, when you had expressed an interest in piano, he quietly began working on a custom-made keyboard. Purple, of course.. with accents of your favorite color. 

It has more sounds than the original, and, it’s a lot more practical. 

It did come with headphones.. however, he may or may not have messed with the jack so it could hook up to his headphones as well — with Bluetooth.

You know how he records everything? 

…yeah.

Sometimes when he’s really overstimulated, he’ll just pull up recordings of your music, the sound calming his nerves until he can get himself back together. 

When he’s understimulated? There is nothing stopping him from remixing your talent.

He DEFINITELY adds your mess - ups too, he thinks your tirades of frustration are actually really humorous.

I like to think he makes most of his ‘jammy jams’ by himself, considering how he knows what he likes, but you know.

Overall he appreciates your talent— but in secret. He’d die before letting you know how much he relies on it. 

Mikey Mouse:

Loves your playing so much!! 

Theres no better feeling then listening to you play and working on his art— he considers you an incredible artist, especially if you compose your own music. 

His mood depends on what you’re playing, it can really affect what he plans on drawing.

If you play chaotic things, he acts like he doesn’t mind at all!! And really he doesn’t, but if you look over his shoulder, you’ll notice it’s inspired him to draw his own chaotic things..  

Things you wouldn’t even wanna unleash on your own worst enemy.

Everytime you finish a song or overcome a rut you were in, he’s bombarding you with compliments. 

“That one was so cool, Y/N!”

“Where did you learn to play like that?”

“You did it! I’m so proud of you..” 

incredibly genuine too— like it’s overflowing.

I feel like this was short, but there’s not really much to say about the mikester 😭 Hes just content to be in your presence. He sees you as an artist the same as him, same level and creative ability. He loves being around you.

Tableo:

He makes sure you have a couch instead of a bench for your piano

Why? 

So he can lean against you and prop his legs up on the armrests of course!!

He’s quick to point out when you do something impressive, like a chord progression you had been practicing all day. his brows furrow as he gives you his signature smirk, “Class-ayy~” 

He often reads comics while you play, chuckling anytime you mess up. 

If you point out his laughter, there is LOADS of teasing in for you. 

“I don’t see what’s so hard!” He laughs, as you scoff, asking him to play it if it’s so easy! “Well, you can’t expect me to just do it perfectly with hands like these..” he gestures to his 6 fingers, but scoots closer to you anyway, muttering something about how “but.. if you insist~”

He’s surprisingly really good his first try! Great for someone with “hands like his”.

If you try to teach him though, he’s yawning through your whole lecture — instead staring at you and how prettily your features meshed together. 

“Leo? Did.. you hear anything I just said..?”

“Hehehehhh.. nope. ♡”

He’s.. Shameless..!

Absolutely…

Shameless.

——

A/N: PLS EXCUSE ME FOR BEING SUCH A FANBOYJFHJDHS op is just really cool ♡

#ROTTMNT #ROTTMNT x reader #tmnt x reader #ROTTMNT Leo x reader #ROTTMNT Donnie x reader #ROTTMNT Mikey x reader #ROTTMNT raph x reader #tmnt #raph x reader #Leo x reader #Donnie x reader #Mikey x reader #regrettable writing

[hannahlovesluca]

hello this is brisquad-unit-4402. let's do a matchup trade? you know me but for the people who don't:

i'm an introvert and i enjoy small groups of friends way better than big ones, but i'm very silly and noisy when i'm with people i like. i roll with aaaanythinggggg and it's hard to get me irritated, but if i am, then i don't pull any punches and i'm not afraid to act. i'm definitely the one that says "they asked for no pickles" even though i try to keep things chill. ironically i love gossip whenever it's not about me, especially because i love a good story

obviously i'm a writer but i also like video games and my art journal, i'm a music snob, and i love doing planks but i don't really like any other form of exercise. i don't get sick easily, i've never had food poisoning despite all the questionable and raw things i eat, and i like to take the lead in a relationship even though i am unfortunately a tsundere. despite everything i am two feet tall…

matchup trade w @brisquad-unit-4402 !!!!

i pair you with…

Doppio Dropscythe !

hear me out…

• listen i was really stuck because even though hes my oshi I LOWKEY FORGOT ABOUT XSOLEIL

• but oh my god imo he is like perfect for u ngl 😭😭

• because you’re an introvert he definitely gives the energy that he loves embarrassing u in public… like actually be prepared cuz its 24/7 💔

• yk that one clip of luca that was him saying he likes embarrassing his partner and his example was him screaming “100 GLIZZIES” in public ? thats doppio but its probably like “THE D STANDS FOR [insert something random]” LMAOO

• he also knows how hard it is to annoy/irritate you so he probably pokes you or bothers you a lot trying to see if he can push ur buttons

• “unit..” *poke* “unit..” *poke* “unit..” *poke* “unit..” *poke* and it keeps going on and on and

• HE LOVES WATCHING U WRITE.

• probably tries to get you to write the most obscure thing ever 😭😭

• “unit, what if you wrote something like… kittens landing on mars? or the moon?”

• he watches pirated movies off of websites 😭 cannot tell me im wrong

• he knows you dont react much to gore but if theres a gorey scene he’ll try to comfort u but is also teasing u and joking the whole time 😭😭

• cough cough totally not referring to when you recommended me martyrs

• anyway, overall, he’s a very fun and teasing boyfriend

• sorry this is so short - with the amount of doppio headcanons ive done already its hard to put anything new LMAOO

MALE RUNNER UPS: Sonny Brisko, Vox Akuma

FEM RUNNER UPS: Pomu Rainpuff, Meloco Kyoran

#luca kaneshiro #nijisanji en #ike eveland #shu yamino #luxiem #mysta rias #vox akuma #luxiem x reader #luca kaneshiro x reader #ike eveland x reader #matchups #nijien #nijien x reader #doppio dropscythe

[grollow]

Giv me the Gimm thoughts plz

Personally I see Grimm’s artistic patronage as almost as sympathy to the suffering souls he often comes across. Seeing and participating in art often does help when dealing with The Horrors, and that’s the reason all the troupe members are active within it bc that artistic outlet is nice. But also theres something about a god with minimal/no stakes in this conflict telling the stories of kingdom after kingdom falling and being replaced for the audience to either find tragedy or hope or both in.

I saved my favorite for last because yes, let me talk about Grimm for hours, I will never shut up.

So I've never really looked at Grimm and related him as artistic in this sense, but I think it's an interesting interpretation.

To be clear, I do see him as artistic. I know a common interpretation of him is that he'd be into weaving (for obvious reasons, the Nightmare is stitched up) and theatre given how dramatic he is, but I have always leaned more along the lines of visual art and music for him.

Pretty much a universal defining trait of artists, I've found, is that we use our medium to convey what we can't otherwise. Sometimes this is pain. Sometimes this is joy. Sometimes this is love. Sometimes this is rage. It's a scream, it's a laugh, it's a thousand words or none at all, and it comes from the heart.

I kinda slapped Grimm with the "you have a lot of trauma" stick (kinda? Ashe, you wrote 250k words of him as a wet cat -- everyone). He's not the best at expressing emotions and he hides behind a mask of confidence and easy, pretty words to disguise that feelings are a struggle for him. But music and artwork, those are a way to take those feelings and convey them outwardly without ever having to admit to the intentions he has. You can say a lot with a musical composition with no words -- just based on how it feels when you listen to it, or how a piece of art impacts you inside. For someone who doesn't like to talk about their feelings, this is absolutely perfect.

For my interpretation of Grimm, performing and showing this sort of thing to the world, it's less about *them* and more about removing the weight from himself. The audience is just so that he knows that he's heard.

The weight of lifetimes grows heavy. Sometimes it's nice to share it with others.

#asks: answered #headcanons #demonicintegrity #my sadboy #hollow knight #hk grimm #troupe master grimm

[imlivinginyourtrashcan]

tell me your indus and Howie headcanons please

Aaa! Of course!!! I genuienly love Indus, so theres plenty for him! Sadly for Howie, not so much :( hes great but vv hard to hc for

INDUS TARBELLA:

He loves baking! You can walk into the kitchen seeing him covered in batter and trying to muscle open something with a barrier. (Mera has to help him open things)

Loud snorer, i cant explain WHY but i look at him and feel like he does snore loudly

His not so guilty pleasure is Disney movies; he'll have Mera watch them all with him. Its kinda cute seeing him giggle at everything like hes a child

You cant take him on rides at Disney tho, he'll scream. Mera learned that the hard way

Dog person. Loves the big does, and lizards! He'll come in with a handful of lizards and be like:

"Look at what I found, Lady Mera!" Indus declared proudly, offering his two hands forward to reveal a family of lizards.

Mera looked down at them both, raising a brow in confusion. Looking back up she sees Indus' childlike grin, "May I keep them??? Please???"

Mera sighed heavily "Indus, put them back..." Indus lowers his head "Awww.. "

Hes probably eaten anything that wasnt food, either by dumb curiosity or trying to protect Mera, sometimes its the other way around and Mera has to slap something out of his hands. Or comfort him when hes coughing out a bite of deodorant

Hes like a giant pillow. You will sink if you hug him, absolutely worth it.

On that note, he loves hugs! But will absolutely crush your bones! Just like that one bear pokémon

Music taste wise, i picture him listening to the Tarzan sound track, or whatever Mera's listening to (probably grungey stuff)

Has punched a scare actor in the face many times out of fear. Hes banned from several haunted houses and thene parks

His hair is ridiculously fluffy. I can sense it

HOWIE HONEYGLOW

Prone to burnout, sometimes he will pass out from being overworked, only to get back up and continue working

Has fucked up teeth from all the honeyed snacks

Secretly collects a lot of bee related things, like plushies

Rarely gives sick days or time off, you better either be dying or dead to not come in

Unpopular opinion, I dont think Howie's aro, but i do agree that he's ace.

Doesnt listen to music; either the bee movie or buzzing asmr is playing in his ears

Probably had a speech impediment, it comes out when hes angry

An artist! He's not all that good but hes TRYING

Knows the art of pinecone milking (Percy taught him)

I feel like this man would bite into a honeycomb and like it

On that note, he eats honey nut cheerios for breakfast every day

Always has water on hand for the fellas, cant let em dehydrate! He himself? Dehydrated as fuck

Also brings snacks for the fellas! He himself? Hungry but wont say anything

Favorite pokemon are all the bee ones

Nonbinary, uses He/they pronouns

Looks at least 30 from stressed and over working himself

His diet consists of only ceral, honeyed snacks and monster energy

At least he has good iron intake?????

Hope you enjoyed, anon!

#epithet erased fanart #epithet oc #epithet erased #epithet erased percy #epithet erased mera #epithet erased molly #epithet spoilers #indus tarbella #epithet erased indus #howie honeyglow #epithet erased howie

[cupoftaae]

Forever and a day (KTH x READER) series♡ meet the parents. chapter 4

Summary: your lifelong friend is forced to face his true feelings for you once he breaks the number one rule of becoming friends with benefits: dont fall in love. He knows he loves you, but you on the other hand need more convincing of the most important thing: the right decision.

Genre: fwb. Roommates, friends to idiots to lovers, fluff, angst, smut, the whole 9 yards tbh.

Pairing: taehyung x female!reader

rating: 18+ (minors dni!!!)

word count: around 3.1k I believe

chapter warnings: swearing, mentions of sex, (theres a flashback) trigger warning for this bc kaito is a little manipulative. Mentions of adhd, medications. There’s a lot of hot and cold behavior between Tae and reader, as well as a fight towards the end. Sorry!

A/N another thanks to everyone whos been liking, reading and reblogging this story (along with my other drabbles). I know my page isnt huge or anything but I love writing and seeing all of the support really motivates me, so thank you :) I also got to sit down and really plan out the rest of my chapters with great detail, I think you guys are gonna like the upcoming chapters so stay tuned (lots of drama)

enjoyyy! (also, I plan to create a spotify playlist for this series!)

A week later.

Taehyung turned around from the stove to face his laptop, currently on the page of something he thought he would never see, a college. he scrolled before turning back to flip his pancake, ensuring he didn't burn it. Over the past week, youve been spending most days and nights over at Kaitos, so he's had more room to think about things.

He wants to become more serious with his art desire, and he wants to prove to not only you, but himself, that he can do big things. So here he is, signing up for local art classes at the college a few streets down. He checked the schedule really quick to make sure that nothing would overlap with the class dates, humming to himself when he realized his first class would be this Saturday morning, the same day his parents were coming for dinner. He sat back against the counter and looked down at Yeontan, who was waiting for bits of food to fall.

Dinner. He forgot all about that, good thing you wrote it on the calendar. would you still even be up for going?

He sat in thought, perhaps too much thought. Taehyung's head whipped around at the aroma of burnt pancakes. "shit!"

maybe he should sign up for a cooking class too?

You and Taehyung havent spoken too much since he word vomited his confessions at you last week. The longest conversation you both shared was 2 days ago when your period suddenly came and you asked tae to bring you to the store late at night because you had ran out of tampons.

there was no discussion about anything he had said to you though, as if there was a mutual agreement to drop it and move on.

he scooped his somewhat burned pancake and put it on the plate, cutting off the black part and managing to revive his breakfast, seeming content with his work. "Not too bad, huh?" he smiled and looked down at his dog, who seemed to assume the food was for him.

Once taehyung sat down at the kitchen counter, he went back to reviewing the art classes website when suddenly you walked in.

The boys eyes darted up to the door, watching you put your bag down and look at him.

"hey" he shyly waved, taking a bite of his food.

you smiled, "hi", making your way over to him and sniffing the air. "you burnt them" you couldn't help but laugh a little.

"listen, it wasnt as bad as last time, taste" taehyung held the fork out with a small bit of food on it, allowing you to try it. "hm" you hummed, nodding. "ok its not charred ill give you that"

He smiled and watched as you sit down and pick tannie up. "so did you have fun at kaitos?" he asked, trying to just have small talk with you.

you looked up at him, "uh yeah, I guess" you shrugged, remembering last night. "we watched sports and he explained the entire game to me like I was stupid and didnt play soccer for 7 years" you laughed and moved your head to get close to the puppy in your arms, allowing taehyung to notice the dark purple mark hidden just above your clavicle.

he nearly chokes on his food, drawing your attention to him. "are you okay?" he nods and clears his throat. clearly you two didn't just watch sports. "im good, just swallowed wrong" he took a sip of his water and tapped his foot, avoiding his eyes from you as he thought of something else to say considering this conversation has now outlasted any previous ones of the past 7 days.

"oh you know this Saturday is the um, the dinner with my parents?" you looked at his laptop, feeling your eyes burn onto him. "oh shit I forgot about that" you smiled and looked over at the calendar on the fridge. "I did too" he laughs.

"you dont have to go if you arent up for it" he mumbles, still unable to look at you. "oh im going, I havent seen them in so long, even if we left off on a bad note, Im still close with them and I think its important to go to the dinner" you spoke matter of factly.

He simply nodded and took another bite of food.

"what are you doing?" you nosily ask, trying to drag out the interaction considering the fact you had missed conversing with your best friend.

He watches you lean over to look at his laptop. "oh its just, something Im interested in doing." tae shrugged, embarrassed you saw the website.

"art classes?" you ask, "I didnt know you liked that type of thing?"

"yeah, Ive always kinda wanted to do it but never had the chance. I mine as well try it right?" he smiled shyly.

"I think thats good for you" you nod, patting his back. "getting out more and stuff, you are always working from home. Oh look, the class is at my college so we might run into each other" you joke and walk off to your room.

the feeling of your hand against his back causes him to tense up, still trying to wrap his head around what he saw. It couldn't have been a hickey, maybe it was something else, perhaps you got hurt, right? .

oh who is he kidding. Who gets hurt on the neck like that, it was a hickey no doubt. (a/n: looking at you namjoon)

why was he kinda upset about that? He respected your space and the fact you are dating kaito, and thats what people who are in love do, they kiss each other....and stuff. He shook his head and stood up, deciding to go for a walk outside to clear his head.

-

While Tae headed out, you stepped into the bathroom to shower. Staring back at your reflection as you removed your shirt, revealing the dark spots peppering you neck and chest, your mind was brought back to the night prior.

Kaito kissed along your jaw, his hand coming under your shirt to brush your bare skin. you two were watching a soccer game but somehow it turned into a make out session he decided to bring upstairs to his room.

he hummed and pressed his lips against yours, your hand in his hair. he began pushing himself so his body was between your legs, hand now reaching for the hem of your shirt. "hm" you mumbled and pushed him off a bit, making him sit back and look at you. "what?" he asked, out of breath.

its not like you havent had sex with kaito.....ok, no thats exactly it. Youve never had sex with him. The most you two have done was letting him finger you under the blanket while watching a movie, then in return, sucking his dick in the backseat of his car.

He was more than ready to move forward with you, but you for some reason weren't.

you sighed and shrugged, removing his hand from your shirt. Kaito looked back at you before sitting to the side and laying on his back. "do you not want to have sex with me or something?" he spoke up.

"no, no, no, I do!" you lied, suddenly feeling guilt.

"then whats your problem?" he sighed, "every time I start something you always shut it down."

"im sorry" you whisper.

"dont be sorry, just dont lead me on." he shook his head.

you sat for a moment, taking a deep breath before getting up and moving to straddle his waist, his eyes widened up at you.

"im just nervous...ive...never done it before" you lied again, trying to convince him otherwise.

"oh" he spoke, hands on your waist as he seemingly took interest in the thought of him being the one to take your virginity.

the last time you had sex was a few months ago with taehyung. you've never done it with anyone else, ever.

"you trust me, right?" he tilted his head

you scanned his face, nodding. "yeah...."

with that he returned his lips against yours

your fingers ran over your chest, tears brimming to your eyes as you began to quietly sob. It wasn't like you had not consented to it. It was a mutual thing, and he's your boyfriend for god sakes, so why did you feel so damn dirty?

you cried as you showered away your thoughts and tried to wash off the feeling of disgust but it just wouldn't go.

and maybe, just maybe, deep down

you knew why.

-

Once Saturday had approached, you waited for taehyung to get back home from his first art class, deciding that you both could use a quick grocery shopping trip, as well as stop by the clothing store considering tonight was the dinner with his parents and you needed an outfit.

You looked at the clock to see it was almost 12, why isnt he home yet if the class ended at 11:40?

you decided on cooking a small breakfast while you waited, something for Taehyung too because you just know he had not eaten prior before leaving, and would be hungry when he returned.

Content with preparing some bacon and toast with fruit, you placed the dish on the counter before turning and grabbing Taehyung's medication from the top cabinet. Along with eating, you also have to remind him to keep up with his meds, which he has been taking since he was 13 for his ADHD. Sometimes you believe he thinks he doesnt have it, and thats why he forgets to take it.

finally sitting down to eat, you open up your laptop and begin to type away at some homework you needed to catch up on. You had not spoken to kaito in person since Wednesday night, he asked you for coffee this morning but you made some excuse about feeling ill, which had not been a total lie. You were worried that he was going to expect this of you each time you both met up. You've never felt so wrong about something you had no reason to be ashamed of, and the worst part was, you couldn't even talk to him about it. Kaito would make it some big issue about you 'not liking him enough or some shit'. You just knew you needed your own space for a few days, and were grateful you had extra concealer to hide the past weeks evidence painted along your neck, which you hoped to God taehyung had not seen.

you were drawn out of your thoughts as you watched the door open, a cheery tae walking in.

"hi!" he smiled and walked over, eating a piece of fruit off your plate.

"hey" you spoke, looking at him. "so? how was it?"

"it was so fun!! look, I made this" he held up a small canvas with strokes of multicolored paint splashed across in an artistic way. you nodded, not fully understanding art, in the same sense he couldn't understand literature. you didn't get why paint thrown on a white base was pretty or poetic, but you let him have it.

"I like it tae, good job" you offered a smile as he held it out into your hands. "keep it!" he spoke, turning to go greet his dog.

you smiled to yourself and looked over it before turning around as well, "eat breakfast and take your meds please, I was wondering if it was possible that we could go shopping before we meet up with your parents?"

he nodded and walked over to the counter, following your orders. "yeah we can, they arent gonna be ready to pick us up until 7." he spoke, shoving bacon into his mouth.

"perfect".

-

"Tae we dont need those, we have so many bags of chips at home" you protested, slumping as you pushed the grocery cart isle through isle.

He looked at the bag of cheese puffs and walked fast to catch up to you, "ah ah ah, nope. these ones are spicy. see?" He shoved it close to your face.

"fine." you sighed, trying to find the stuff you guys actually needed, like milk, coffee creamer, and-

"Taehyung??"

what??

you both turned around to see a younger girl walking up behind you, she had short hair and was bundled up in a large jacket, which is something you mentally mocked considering it was almost April.

you've definitely never seen her before, you turn to taehyung, "who the fuc-"

"annie!" he smiled and bows politely, leaving you in shock as you watched the two interact.

"long time no see" the girl giggled, almost obnoxiously

"we just saw eachother a few hours ago" he spoke

"it was a joke, taehyung" she laughed again, peaking over his shoulder to look at me. in that moment I could have sworn I felt her cold eyes burning into my skin.

"Hello, who is this?" she smiled and tapped tae's arm.

"Oh, thats y/n. shes my roommate" tae grinned at you and returned his eyes back at Annie.

roommate? thats all? no best friend since we were in diapers? You think you know a guy.

"Hi, Im annie. Taehyung and I go way back, and by that I mean we just met today." she smirked, tae laughing and adding on "In art class"

"oh" you nodded, feeling awkward all of a sudden. "nice to meet you" you bowed and turned to your grocery list, trying to seem busy as they continued their talking.

"I really liked your art" tae murmured, "it really feels like it goes beyond the surface" you roll your eyes and turn back, watching them.

"oh that means so much, thank you." she blushed.

SHE BLUSHED?

"you know, I have a Instagram account for my art....if you wanna follow?" Annie looked up with hopeful eyes, which tae reacted to by pulling his phone out and receiving the username.

seriously....who is this bitch?

"not to interrupt, but I have to get shopping now, we still need to go to the clothing store." you spoke, only facing tae.

"ok" he smiled and said his goodbyes to the girl, waving like a little kid before he caught back up with you.

"shes nice-"

"yah im sure, can we hurry?" you cut him off, watching his eyebrows scrunch before nodding.

-

Taehyung fiddled with the nearby clothing racks while he waited for you to get out of the dressing room. He never liked to go shopping, but when he went with you he always found it somewhat amusing, unless it was clothes shopping.

He paced slowly before knocking on the door. "are you almost done" he whispered, eyes looking around at nearby people.

"tae" you breathed out, "for the 3rd time, I will be out in a few, be patient." you spoke, aggravated.

he pouted and finally sat on the bench, tapping his feet while playing a game on his phone.

once you opened the door, you couldn't help but giggle at the sight. Like a kid waiting for his mom, he was funny without even knowing it.

"ok, how does it look?" you asked, grabbing his attention to the light brown sweater paired with a black mini skirt. It wasn't too special but it was nice, and it looked professional.

Tae looked up, eyes tracing over you entirely before gathering his words to speak. "uh....wow, you look really good" he nodded and stood up.

"are you sure? the skirt isnt too short, right?"

somewhere in his mind he wanted to make a joke and tell you it wasn't short enough, but he decided against it.

he shook his head. "you look beautiful."

you looked at him looking at you through the mirror as a wave of chills ran through your body.

he came up and carefully felt the fabric of the sweater, the feeling of his hand on you immediately made you flinch and pull away.

ah yes, the thought of physical touch. Something which disgusted you recently.

He frowned and before he could respond you went back to change into your regular clothes so you could purchase and leave.

Once you two were in the car, Tae had offered to stop and get you something to eat, you declined politely while he got himself a sandwich.

You felt bad considering you probably made him feel like he did something wrong, he didn’t. Taehyung wasnt the problem, you were.

The two of you quietly brought in the groceries, setting them on the counter. You began to put things away as you felt taehyungs eyes watching you. “What?” You exhaled, opening the fridge without even turning to direct your voice to him.

“Are you ok?”

“Why wouldnt I be?”

He blinked a few times while his fingers absent mindendly began to pick at his lower lip.

“Don’t do that” you spoke, watching him tuck his hands behind his back.

“It’s nothing I’m just, always checking in. You are my....friend. And I want you to be ok” he spoke as if he was unsure.

You jokingly scoffed and shook your head. “I’m ok Tae, i promise” you turned to him finally and offered a fake smile, something he saw right through but decided against speaking on it.

You heard him sigh before he walked back to head to his room. “I’m gonna shower”

“Ok” you mumbled and finished unpacking the groceries before taking your clothes and heading to your own room.

-

The clock read 6:40, that meant you and taehyung had to be dressed and ready to go in 20 minutes.

Taehyung decided to just slip on a button up shirt and dress pants, it’s his parents and he doesn’t feel too keen on trying to impress the people who always tell him he’s making the wrong choices.

He brushed his hair, mentally noting how long it’s gotten since the last time he let you cut it. His bangs lightly framed against his face as he sprayed cologne on, leaving the room to knock at your door. “Almost ready? Mom texted, she will be here a few minutes early?” He walked over to the hall to grab his coat off the rack, returning to hear your answer.

“Im doing my makeup!” You responded, careful with the mascara wand because you didn’t want to get it on anything other than your lashes. You quickly brushed your hair, clipping your bangs to the side while fluffing up the ends. You look over yourself, praising yourself for making the right clothing decision, it matched perfectly with your lipstick. You sprayed perfume on, the aroma filling your bathroom as you slipped a pair of small black heels on, making your way to the living room.

You had left your phone out on the kitchen counter while you got ready, something taehyung noticed when he stepping into the kitchen to fill Yeontans water bowl.

Your screen suddenly lit up with a text from kaito:

Kai: hey, still feeling sick? My sister made soup and if you want I can run by and drop some off. If it’s ok i might leave it at the door, i dont really care to run into taehyung.

Taehyung scrunched his nose, scoffing and moving closer to your phone. He was highly confused by the text, turning around and finishing his task.

“Im readyyy” you sung and hopped into the kitchen. Taehyung almost dropped the water bowl right onto the floor.

There you were, black tights , miniskirt, hair curled, all put together with red lipstick.

He swallowed hard, clearing his throat before speaking. “Well then.....”

“Do I look good?” You asked, looking down at your outfit.

“You look even more beautiful than you did in the store today” he looked at the bowl as he tried to speak nonchalantly, despite the fact his heart was racing.

How’s he supposed to suppress his feelings when you are standing there looking like THAT

“You look very handsome, Tae. You always do” you nodded, hoping he didn’t see the way your cheeks burned with blush.

You didn’t always get complimented, it wasn’t like you tried to fish for it either, but considering you have to pull a single “you look nice” out of your boyfriend when taehyung gives them for free is kind of ridiculous.

“Do I?” He teased

“Mhm” you smiled and brushed your hand through his hair quickly. “I like when you don’t use gel, the fluffy look is cute” you laughed and walked towards the door as taehyung put yeontan in his play gate.

He grinned to himself, knowing he will never use that gel again.

-

Once you two stepped out into the hall, he walked up to you and itched the back of his head.

“So, not to pry or anything, but your phone was left on the counter and I saw that um...kaito texted. He mentioned something about you being sick?”

Your eyes shot wide open, pulling your phone from your purse to look at the said message.

“If you weren’t feeling good you didn’t have to come” He shyly spoke, watching as you waved your hand at him.

“Tae, i lied” you smile, “I just wasn’t up for hanging out with him today.” You add.

“Oh....how come?”

You shrug, looking at him. “I don’t know.”

He looked down at his feet while you two made way towards the elevator. “Also, sorry that you saw him say that about you. He takes things super seriously” you scoff.

“It’s fine, It’s not my priority for him to like me” he spoke, pressing the button once you two stepped in. “Besides, Im the one who gets to hang with you today, so I win” he joked, allowing you to laugh softly and poke his arm.

It was nice to have some normalcy between you both, the past few weeks have been crazy and there’s been a lot of emotions, but it finally feels like things are getting back to the way they used to be.

“Ok so mom said her and dad would be right over here” he spoke as he looked at his phone, then looked up to the curb once you were outside. Your eyes peered around, there was no car yet.

“I guess we can just wait.” He put his phone away and looked around at the people on the street, something you began to join him in doing.

You both happened to catch someone dancing, making you both giggle. Your eyes then darted to an older couple crossing the street, arms linked sweetly. You nudged taes arm, grabbing his attention and whispering “look, it’s you and Annie in the future”

He immediately scoffed once he saw what you were referring to. “Ok I knew you were gonna make fun of me for that!” He whined and shyly walked away.

You began to laugh and ran up to him. “It’s not like that” he began. “Yet” you added on, watching him stop walking and turn to you.

“Ah i see...you are jealous.” He smirked.

“What?? No!! Im not j-...why would you-...what!” You stutter, watching him begin to say something before a car horn knocks you both out of the conversation.

“Hello!!” You see taehyungs mother waving her hand out the window, his father in the drivers seat as they pulled up to the curb. You bowed immediately once you got close, greeting them.

“Hello Mr and Mrs. Kim, it’s been a while, I missed you” you spoke sweetly,

“Ah y/n! It’s nice to see you again sweetheart” his mother kindly spoke

“Hi mom, dad.” Taehyung mumbled, his previously cocky state taking a more shy one.

“My son” his mom gripped his face and squished his cheeks. “Still chubby, good. You are finally eating more”

“Stop” he whispered, checking out of the corner of his eye to make sure you weren’t watching, glad you had been conversing with his father in that moment.

“Ok let’s go!” She cheered, ushering you both into the back seat before telling her husband what restaurant to go to.

they had initially wanted to come over so you could cook for them, but taehyung suggested a newer French restaurant nearby he swore they needed to try. You laughed at his obvious attempt to impress them.

The two of you squished together in the back seat, moving your body closer to the window as the air suddenly left the car. “You look lovely, y/n” taes father complimented. “Thank you Mr.Kim! You and your wife look very nice as well”

“How’s college, dear?” You turned your attention to his mom, who wasted no time digging into details about your life.

“Uhm it’s okay, lots of classes” you smile, watching her nod. “Still majoring in theatre?”

“Of course”

She clicked her tongue playfully, choosing to not make a comment against your choice of career...or lack of.

You silently praise the fact the drive to the restaurant was quick, allowing you time to climb out and avoid the conversation.

“This place is nice” you whisper to Tae, watching him nod. “We don’t belong here” you chuckled, making him laugh as well.

Taehyungs parents join arms before stepping in, Tae moving beside you to mimic their movement, making you blush lightly.

The waiter quickly checks your reservations and moves you to a relatively quiet room with a table by the window, just how you liked.

Once you had all sat and ordered your dishes, the room for conversations opened up.

“Your Hair is getting too long taehyung, why don’t you trim it” his father mentioned as he sipped his wine.

“Ah I know, i usually let y/n trim, but she’s been busy.” He teased, looking at you.

“Busy? With what? Certainly not a job” his mother mumbles as he takes her jacket off and sets it to the side.

“Mom...” he whispered, embarrassed for the way his Parents feel like they can talk about you as if you are their own child.

“Im just out and about, i have school and I’m with my boyfriend a lot” you spoke up

His moms head turned up as you talked, seeming suddenly interested.

“Boyfriend?” She laughed

“Mhm” you nodded

She turned to her husband and raised her eyebrows, both sharing a confused glance.

“What?” Taehyung asks, following their exchange

“Oh it’s nothing, we just...” she shrugged at her son, turning her attention back to you. “We had dinner with your parents a few days ago and we were discussing you both”

“Okay...” you half smiled, wondering what your own parents had said about you.

“And we just talked about like the pictures you guys post online...and we assumed, well, more like got the impression, that you two were together?” His mom admits.

You and taehyung both look blankly at them, silent staring before turning to eachother.

“It’s not a bad thing, your parents and us always said you would both end up together” his father laughed.

“Right, so Im suprised you are dating someone else” his mom inquired

“Starting the night off strong I see” you whispered to yourself, growing embarrassed at this conversation.

The older woman continued to ask questions. “Is it a serious relationship? Doesn’t he care you are living with another man?”

You took a sip of your water, clearing your throat. “Well...we’ve only been together for a little while, and yeah he does but not too muc-“

“It won’t last” his father cuts in casually, “young relationships like that come and go”

You didn’t know what else to do but nod and shove a piece of bread into your mouth.

His mother sighed and took a sip of her wine, “Ah your mother and father will be disappointed at the news” she laughed lightly.

“It’s not disappointing, you guys can’t just assume things” Tae added, stepping up for you as you drowned yourself in gluten.

“Well it is disappointing. We are getting older and you know, we don’t visit as much. I’m reaching the age where I’m ready to be a grandma” his mom adds, making you choke on your food.

“Are you ok?” His father asks, watching you chug your water more.

“Yup! So good! So ok!”

Taehyung seems embarrassed himself, you felt bad for him too. “Mom, y/n and I are just friends and we always have been, there is nothing like that in our future” he brushed off the pain in his chest as he defended you.

You looked at Tae for a moment before looking down and playing with your napkin.

“Sad” she responded, looking up as the waiter came over, delivering the food to each person.

“Thank you” you spoke, finally happy that your pasta had arrived. Tae laughed to himself, of course you’d get pasta at a French restaurant.

It remained quiet for the first few minutes while you all indulged in your meals.

Taehyung looked up from his plate, trying to find something to say.

“Hows everything for you guys? Everyone at home all good?” He asked softly, taking a sip of his Diet Coke.

His mother nodded, “everything is good, your father and I redid the kitchen, and we even cleared out the attic, turning it into a guest room”

“Oh that’s nice” he smiled.

“So you guys can come visit if you ever wanted to” his father added, making you smile.

“Yes that sounds fun” you replied “it’ll be hard to plan something with mr workaholic over here” you joke, nudging Tae.

“Speaking of that, how is work?” His father asks, taking a bite of his dish.

“It’s going well, I mostly work from home, but I’m doing extra hours next week so..” he nodded.

“Working from home? That must be nice, i dont see why you can’t take some college classes from home at least”

You sigh at the conversation once again taking another rude turn. You love the kims, but it’s impossible to talk to them.

“Actually, he is taking a college course” you smile, Turing to Tae to see a mortified expression.“What?” His mother perks up.

“He just did his first class today, it’s an art class, you know, painting and stuff” you smile sincerely. “Art....” his father snickers. You felt taehyungs leg kick against yours, obviously this wasn’t something he wanted to be said. You instantly regretted trying to make him look good the moment his mother commented.

“Ah taehyung you go through life thinking your doing good things but where will an art class get you huh? I worry about you so much...” she sighed and put her fork down.

“When will you take your life seriously? You are 23! I had a kid at your age and was married” She added on, taehyung now scraping his fork against a piece of meat as he avoided eye contact.

This is almost identical to the last time we had all met up, when Tae dropped the bomb of dropping out of college. You hoped this time would be better, but unfortunately, thanks to you, it is possibly even worse.

“It’s just for fun....” you mumble, turning your eyes to see Tae looking at his shoes, tears at the brim of his eyes while he has yet to speak.

“Thats the problem y/n, his whole life is fun, no work, no discipline. And I can’t say different for you.” His father spoke,

“I mean who goes to college and decides to do something as risky as theatre? Unless you plan on being an award winning actress it’s going to get you nowhere.” He sighed, “you two live in fantasy world”

“It’s time to grow up” his mother added, finishing her food.

You felt a hole in your stomach, it was guilt, pure guilt. You didn’t mean to ignite this, not here and not now, when we were supposed to be having fun.

Taehyung shook his head and laughed, taking your glass of wine and gulping it down in a few sips, his face scrunching up before standing and exiting outside. You watch as he goes, standing to grab the left behind jacket and phone. “You’re just going to leave?” His mother questioned, making you shrug. “This wasn’t how dinner was supposed to go, i apologize” you mumble, “we will meet up again before you guys head home, ok?” You add, chasing after taehyung.

You find him outside of the restaurant, sitting a few steps away on a staircase.

“Tae...”

You walk closer, standing in front of him.

“I thought you quit” you speak quietly, gesturing towards the cigarette in his mouth.

He doesn’t reply, rather simply glares at you before turning his head and exhailing the smoke. “Look Im sorry, I didn’t mean to expose anything, I feel awful” you reach to put your hand on his shoulder, he shudders and scooches away. “You have a way of making me look like a fool, y/n” he smiles, looking at the cars driving by.

You breathe, watching him articulate his thoughts. “You think I’m incapable of reading books you like” he began to list. “You think that my job is dumb, you think the art class is stupid.” He laughed to himself and shook his head. “You think I’m a complete loser and could never possibly understand what it takes to be smart or successful”

“Thats not fucking true taehyung, stop it” you mutter, feeling like you were slapped. “See, you are doing it right now. You feel like you need to tell me how to act, how to feel. You embarrass me and make me the fool” he began to wipe at his cheek, standing up and walking past you as he spoke.

“You and Kaito must have a blast making fun of how dumb I am” he smiled and exhaled more smoke, looking at you. “You are acting immature, it’s not funny” you spoke sternly. “Oh but it is funny, y/n, because I don’t care anymore. I don’t care about trying so hard to impress you, or being smart like you, or impressing my own parents” he stopped in his tracks as you glared at him.

“You focus on your little life, ok? Focus on college, focus on eventually graduating, focus on your friends, kaito, and hiding hickies because that’s what you do best apparently” he scoffed and put out his cigarette, grabbing the jacket from your hands and walking towards the direction of your apartment.

You are left in nothing but shock, once again, as he leaves you in a speechless position. You take back what you said earlier about you both returning to normalcy, because apparently you take one step forward and 20 fucking steps back with each day that passes. You couldn’t help but wipe the tears that fell from your eyes as you began to walk back to the apartment as well, taehyung now out of your vision completely.

Everything recently in your life has gone so down hill, and you can’t blame anyone else but yourself. Word of advice for anyone listening: don’t live with your best friend then decide to add benefits and grow super attached, break said situation while also pursuing a new relationship with someone else.

It will fuck you up.

A/N: whew.....

@turnthepageandbeburnt @taebangtanbabe @kthstrawberryshortcake-main

#Spotify #taehyung #kim taehyung #taehyung fluff #taehyung smut #bts fanfic #bts #bts fluff #kim taehyung fanfic #taehyung fanfic #taehyung x reader #bts smut #taehyung x oc #taehyung series #taehyung angst #taehyung fwb #tae fluff #tae smut #tae fic #bts x reader

[miku-meeku]

Ooop you had a Voltage phase~~ Now you gotta spill the games you played👀👀

i thought these ones were kinda neat compared to the other games

also is it really playing if i dont even have money to buy the stories so i just kept reading the prologue over and over again

i mean, i did manage to read some free ones they gave out (and i think i read some stories on yt before)

anws, i won 300 coins for drawing this thing before and won 3rd place lawl (but now i lost the coins cuz voltage inc sux for making ur account get restricted if ur not active for a year smh)

kota is my favorite if its not obvious from my very very OLD POST from when my tumblr used to be a garbage can

my kidself is kringe (did you know kota is voiced by natsuki hanae kyaa)

also theres this game that i used to be obsessed with playing from voltage too (but they shut it down so that makes me...i hate voltage inc bro)

bro i just realised now they shut it down a few weeks after i got into dol, thats nice ig

anws enough of that sobbing from voltage inc being shit like usual, guess my favorite liar character

did you know mf has the same bday as kota

listen chat, i just think hes really neat-

JUST LOOK AT THIS OLD 2019 ART HAHAHAHAHAHA

MY SHIP NAME FOR HIM AND MIKU WAS MIZUSA HELPPP IM KRINGINGGGG

omg now i suddenly remembered, my last art of azu was from 2021 and it was this drawing w childe

if its really not obvious during my liar phase, i was pretty obsessed with azu, i love azu sm (i would scurry thru my old books for liar arts of me and azu kyaa but id rather not cuz it was kinda kringe and id rather not die of embarrassment)

.....maybe just a lil bit..... (bro this was from 2017 good lord)

ight i yap too much, i was gonna start yapping how i had ocs for every single voltage inc game i "played"

you only get these three cuz im gonna be here all day if i blabber about everyone

my forged wedding, seduced in the sleepless city, dreamy days in west tokyo

for some reason, i have a lot of aoi doodles tho

ft other voltage inc ocs who are the same age as her (17 year old mfs)

and here u get old uncover the truth mc (aka miku, literally me) from 2021

to her recent drip in 2023

its just adult miku basically

ight im done fr this time, i yap too much

#asks #very sane meeku behaviour #voltage inc #as much as i hate voltage inc... #...i do admit i was in them phases as a kid bro... #still am sadly #its nice to finally ramble abt voltage inc to someone tho since i had no one to ramble these things to cuz #no one plays voltage inc honestly dies

[airimomoid]

to whoever sees this post. do you have a favourite april fools class? because i do and it is one HUNDRED percent solid heart. i love every character in here so much it is so perfect to me that they were all put together

shiho is not my favourite in leo/need (its actually honami) but i honestly really identify with her and it's so great to watch her develop and see the way she deeply cares for her friends (and her sister please stop saying she hates/dislikes shizuku i cant take it) despite her tough exterior

airi is my absolute favourite character for so many reasons. first of all- she is so cute! i love her design and her cards are all great. but even more so i adore her character as a whole. you can see that she really loves not only her fans - from the way she interacts with them on livestreams, and there's also her interactions with saki if you need another example -, but also her unitmates - the way she shares her experience with minori to help her improve, admires haruka and supports her, reminding her to take breaks, and dont even get me *started* on shizuku because there is so much to say about them that i would end up talking about them forever - and also her close friends, such as ena (she's also in solid heart by the way! love her!)

akito is so SO passionate about music and honestly i'm with him there. he likes people who are also passionate about their interests - i am also with him there! i just overall really enjoy how committed and hard working he is when it comes to music, the way he interacts with and cares for the rest of vbs, and also i think his dynamic with ena is great

nene is literally just like me for real for real. i love to reread the wxs stories in order to see how she gradually opens up to her unitmates and becomes more confident - around her peers, but also whilst performing on stage. the rest of wxs love and care about her and she, too, loves and cares about them! she dreams big, and continues to pursue her dreams even though she knows that one day she'll have to leave wxs because of them. because of this she also cherishes all the time she spends with them !! also in canary sings in a quagmire she has the courage and strength to ask for help from her idol herself and it's just so brilliant to see how far she's come from the beginning of the story when she could barely talk to the rest of wxs and had to hide behind nenerobo AND SHE'S ALSO JUST SO CUTE IN GENERAL AND I LOVE HER OK

i feel like ena and her character arc often don't get a lot of attention in this fandom compared to the rest of niigo but i honestly love how far she's come and how she's improving at art and gradually gaining more and more confidence in her creations - to the point where she also teaches others how to draw (rainbow canvas event story) . just her deciding to rejoin her old art class was such an impactful moment for me and i'm super interested to see how she'll develop from this point onward. furthermore! the way she supports the rest of niigo! i love it! when she took mafuyu to her house in someday this wish will transcend the morning sky! the ending of my footsteps your destination! it's just so beautiful and she is such a great character and i could talk about her and niigo in general for hours but for the sake of this post not being longer than an essay i will not

and KAITO ! i do not really have anything to say about him compared to the others but some time last year i made a list of my favourite commissioned songs from each unit and they all featured kaito (except niigo because niigo kaito didnt exist at the time) so theres that

to the like two or three people who will see this thank you so much for listening to my ramblings

also i feel kinda bad for not writing that much about shiho i completely underestimated the length of the rants i would go on about tye others 😭 read that day the sky was far away its great

#project sekai #pjsk #airi momoi #shiho hinomori #ena shinonome #akito shinonome #kaito vocaloid #nene kusanagi #i could write an essay about them and im not even joking

[jaxieus]

ive written this three times but tumblr keeps messing up and undoing all the writing i did :'(

but i wont let it discourage me! ive got a lot to say about the art i made even though its messy sketches on mspain(t) XD

i had been feeling burnt out and decided to draw comfort characters ( some that ive not drawn in a long time or have acknowledged but never drew before) and the carebears is a franchise thats been with me for so long i made a whole painting for class about it!

i made a list and with utter shock i realized that i basically bacame my owm worts enemy! the list grew so much (and is still growing :')) and i only drew a few characters so far

i know ill render these soon but the others will take a while

(but im really concerned about how im gonna tag this without being obnoxious 🥲)

i have like alot to say about these characters i drew because they mean so much to me and i never really could delve into them at school.

theres more i want to say and its under the cut! :D

so this is gonna get a lil personal but hopefully not too much to the point its boring ,:)

the first character i want to talk about is Ursula. i remember when i was younger being increadibly infatuated with her. i would draw her whenever i could. on chalkboards, the wall, i made paper cut-out of her and digitally drew her on ms paint! she was the first character that a had a desire to be close to in a way. a character albeit evil felt comforting and till this day make me tear up from how beautiful her design is! Ursula was the first female character i felt a strong aesthetic attraction to. (im just kinda a sucker for powerful women)

so i made sure to stay true to her design by keeping her body type and tentacles. basically just switching her hands and head to the carebears design (im still deciding whether or not to keep her hair)

second has to be Rosalina. she really made me accept and realize that i did have an attraction to the same sex ':) i loved playing as her in smash bros, listening/watching her story in galaxy. i never really 'got' the whole thing but reflecting and growing as a person did make me realize that not just fictional men look great but women too!

her design is based on the carebear cousins because the main thing was the mane! you dont really see a bear with a long loc covering its eye so having her different from the others i think gives good variety

third King Candy. oka y i recently feel back inlove with him! mostly because of @/ blackthewolf17's drawings of him!! and that made me rewatch the movie and wow! i remember liking his character a while back but i never really appreciated his as a villain! watching the movie and seeing the art made me remember the discussions i had with my fam about liking him and them not really understanding. (its kinda a running theme with a lot of the characters i like)

i wanted the characters the pop out and look recognizable. i kept the crown and collar. his belly badge is a paper covering his original badge! this one shows the crown and a few bits of candy. (leaning into the fact that he doesnt belong)

next is NME SalesGuy for Four. (such a clever name) this dude is literally a character that i was shocked by his stature! i mean what did i expect? falling for a dude that exudes tall energy but is literally a short king! this dude was there during some cool family times while watching right back at ya!

while looking for references, i found i cb comic and i loved how their legs looked. it wasnt bent like the originals on the cards and i thought they looked really goofy! so i went with that with the design becasue he just doesnt really fit with everyone elses stlye

fifth Rick Sanchez. man, this old man. has been with me through a lot. i saw a poster if the show before it premiered and two years after, i watched it and ive obsessed over him so much i made people watch Rick and Morty so i could talk with them about it. R&M really got me back onto tumblr because it was my entire personality since the show was at its peak and after. (old men tsk tsk) i made OCs Self inserts and played the mobile game. i literally memorized episodes to recite as i went to sleep. and analyzed frames of my fave episode to get better at animation!

i gave Rick clothes because i wanted him to have some flair. iconic elements of him is his tousled hair, coat and alcohol. (hes drinking 'happy juice')

Sixth is Coach Brunt. a girlboss of a villain! she took care of and orphan and made her feel like she was her own! shes determined, strong, fierce, fit, has a great voice, money, and kind. what more could a girl ask for?? this was another character that i had seen while watching CS with the fam. (still havent completed it tho)

i did break the rule and give her a tuft of hair also ':/ but i like her BB i gave her.

its a paw punching a heart (maybe too violent)

Seventh is Johan liebert. i really loved this dude. the series just made me think more about human nature and nurture. i met some cool people becasue of this dude. Johan in a way made me cope with the problems that happened in my life. he really was the character that i also found out i was ace+aro. i just loved drawing him. filling pages of my sketchbook and centering english papers based around him and the lessons i learned from seeing the bad in his character and how people might turnout to be similar and how it can be a problem. (idk if it made sense, but i learned to appreciate humanity more and not be so headstrong and become blinded by my views. but also learning that its good for people to know whats coming for the people that wronged you)

Johans BB is painted on white, so you wouldnt be able to see what he is all about :)

theres is so much already but eighth is Senpai. this Fker is my worst enemy, just like all the characters i drew soo much of this guy that i thought i was gonna go crazy, there was a pang in my chest when the drawings looked like trash. he was the character that made me want to get better at art and engage more with people. i made a fnf OC to be this dudes father. (it was some of the most wholesome thing i ever drew)

Senpai has a more basic design. he also has his identifying elements like the backpack and mic

ninth is Saul. my bbg. it started with the character but sadlt turned into a full obsession over Bob Odenkirk and finding all of his shows and movies that he directed of acted in. thankfully im not deep into it anymore. but when i regularly used instagram, you could see the decent into madness for him. i made animations and really detailed fanart. if Sen got me to draw my fave better, Bob made me attempt to perfect it.

his design sadly is my weakest. i wanted to add some fake hair on him. but im sure you can see that i got lazy. a few weeks ago i made versions of the BRBA&BCS cast as Geronimo Stilton characters and (sad excusee) but i didnt want to put more into the design because i became drained from looking at the growing list D;<

his BB is based on themis :)

tenth is Big Jack Horner. i love this man. i ironically said "he was the hottest character in the movie" on my third watch and man i actually believed it on the way out of the theatre. i wanted to see if anyone liked him like i did and to my surprise people did! this dude has such a great bod, voice, attitude and like many of the characters i like i ask, "is there any proof of death? i dont think so".

i havent drawn him in months and i dont like that i havents so he was the first bear i drew. his BB is a pie but i think ill add his insignia or have him draw on it like Oopsie bear to fit his situation.

like maybe something silly like a frowning face on his BB

im going to put eleven and twelve together because both play a similar role. my two men of science. ive only recently started to like Medic and Scudworth. these two bring such a great jot to me just like all to kooky men i like as well.

sadly, they both look the same, the only thing differentiating them is the glasses. i love their voices and design.

i ahve yet to give Scudsy his own BB tho.

last thing i want to say is why i chose carebears as the main style.

the franchise has been with me since i can even remember or at least before i could comprehend what it was. i remember seeining either oopsie or good luck bear plush at a carnival and i really wanted it but it was closing and i mean it was probably bigger than me so i couldnt get it and it became an obsession of mine! i loved green and a already had a few at home whats one more? so i tried to drop hints at my mom. well as good as a 5-7 yr old could do with drawings.

theres a lot more to say but i might go one for so long it wont fit here!

this was very long and if you read it thank you very much! im glad i got to comfortably speak my mind (well write it) in my own way that did have structure but felt more personal and less embarrassing that my english teacher asking me to write something about myself and my life. or my Art teacher saying i have the freedom to create something but then talk about it with in a time span because im not the only one that has something good to say about their art.

im not sure if all of it was understandable and might've been really unnecessary but im glad either way.

#fanart #illustration #jack horner #jax23 #sketches #bob odenkirk #ursula #nme salesman #king candy #saul goodman #senpai fanart #fnf senpai #johan #principal scudworth #cinnamon j scudworth #tf2 medic #coach brunt #rick and morty #rick sanchez #care bears #long post #sorry to anyone who reads this #but i feel so passionate about this #ms paint #my art #johan liebert

[1-800-c0sm1c]

If you're not too busy, can I please request headcanons for Joker, Ryuji, Yusuke, and Akechi overhearing their female S/O singing along to her favorite song and showing great talent?

꒰i will always love you !꒱

singing headcannons !

character x f!reader

includes joker, ryuji, yusuke, and akechi !

warnings : none.

a/n : this was a cute one to write ^^ it is also totally not 4am as i am publishing this lol

JOKER // REN AMAMIYA

all im saying is this guy is definitely a theater kid. and i like to think hes good at it too.

im talking main lead in every school play that hes ever been apart of, and he always takes it to the next level too.

and when he finds out that you have a talent for singing? oh man he is WHIPPED.

you probably didnt even know that he knew, hes kind of sneaky lmao.

youre probably just singing along in the shower and he overhears, and hes surprised, he doesnt understand why youre not using this talent more.

i can see him suggesting that you should pursue the arts, especially if youre not sure what you want to do after high school. but if you have other plans thats fine, he just wants whats best for you!

LOTS and LOTS of compliments! hes so sweet and supportive in literally anything you do and singing is no exception!

similar to ryuji, i can see you guys going on karaoke dates, but the difference with ren is hes not trying to actively compete against you, he just really enjoys singing duet songs with you!

this is just the musical nerd in me but imagine,,, performing musicals together,,, so many thoughts.

this man owns my heart istg,,,

SKULL // RYUJI SAKAMOTO

ryuji finds everything you do so mesmerizing, theres practically stars in his eyes when he discovers your hidden talent!

hes also lowkey offended you didnt show him earlier LMAOO

i can picture him asking you to make him a playlist of all your favorite songs, and he listens to it whenever hes doing his homework (a rare occurrence.) or when hes playing video games.

hes basically learned the words to every song on there, and i like to think when youre over one day and you start singing along he kinda just stares at you like :0 !!

hes no professional, but he didnt think he was half bad at singing until he heard you.

only a little (a lot) jealous at how good you are afterwards he kind of just sits around with a pouty face and says something like “how can you be so good at EVERYTHING?”

as impressed he is, ryuji is competitive, so dont be surprised when your next date is a karaoke night and hes trying his hardest to 1-up you.

he claims its just because he wants to hear more of your singing, but hes putting his whole heart and soul into every song that comes on.

overall hes really supportive, and he understands if you dont feel comfortable singing around others. but if you are, hes so definitely showing you off to the other phantom thieves. (he thinks it gives him bragging rights against morgana.)

FOX // YUSUKE KITAGAWA

honestly, yusuke gives off theater kid vibes too so i see him being really excited to catch you singing!

you were over at his dorm, watching him sketch out his newest painting. there was some conversation between the two of you but you let him do most of the talking as not to disturb him too much.

you ended up suggesting to play some music in the background to fill the space, to which he nodded to, not really paying much attention.

you both sat in silence for a bit, simply enjoying each others company as the music played in the background.

“your music taste is incredible, love.” hed definitely ask for you to send him the playlist youre listening to <3

later on, your favorite song had come on, and you found yourself singing along to the music. yusuke had been silent for awhile so you had forgotten he was still in the room.

the longer the song had gone, the more you got comfortable with singing louder, to the point you were able to hit all the high notes flawlessly.

this is what had finally gotten yusukes attention away from his work, him turning back to look at you with a stunned face.

his dramatic ass is so extra about everything i swear. hes going on and on about how splendid of a performer you would be and hes amazed he hasnt heard you sing before.

you, on the other hand are still dealing with the whiplash of him still being in the room.

you guess you hadnt realized how into it youd have gotten, but at least your boyfriend got a free performance out of it!

CROW // GORO AKECHI

you had received a text from akechi 10 minutes ago. a simple “omw.” was all he wrote. 

however, you still excitedly set up everything you had planned for your boyfriends awaited arrival. 

hed been coming home late from his work at the police station, and you knew hed appreciate the thought of a nice relaxing night at home with his favorite foods and plenty of fuzzy blankets laid out on the couch.

you had music playing in the background as you applied the finishing touches. putting everything you had into the chorus of the song playing over the speaker.

you hadnt even heard akechi walk in over how loud everything was in your living room until you turned around and noticed him staring at you with an unreadable expression on his face.

was he disgusted? or just really surprised? it was always hard to tell with him.

you prayed it was the latter, and continued to sing along, more dramatically, like it was the most important performance of your life. you could see him laugh fondly.

once you were finished, he set his bag down on the kitchen counter to greet you properly.

“i didnt know you were so talented.” he responded blankly, “is there anything you *arent* good at?” he joked.

you laughed, pressing a kiss to his cheek before playfully responding, “oh no! looks like the detective prince caught me!” and running to hide under a blanket on the couch.

he smiled at your antics, having a seat on the couch next to you, cuddling up to your covered form under the blanket. 

you peeked your head out and smiled warmly at him and said, “welcome home.” 

moments like these with akechi are rare, but you cherish every single one of them.

#✧;;↬ my work.❞┊🍓 #✧;;↬ baton pass.❞┊🪄 #✧;;↬ the counsel.❞┊🎊 #persona 5 #persona 5 x reader #shin megami tensai persona #persona 5 royal #persona 5 x you #joker x reader #Ren Amamiya x Reader #ryuji sakamoto x reader #yusuke kitagawa x reader #goro akechi x reader

[trickstarbrave]

i am back with steren content in vivi's au again (from @mulberrycafe)

i didnt get to cover a lot about how vivienne feels bc this was pretty much just steren's perspective. and he is. he's not having a good time. i cant even imagine how helpless vivienne feels to know he's hurting but doesnt want to and wont listen to anything countering it bc hes. genuinely isolated and lost in a different world and thinks theres no place for him there.

there will be good things to come rn he's just suffering. he's a good boy, despite everything. but he'll get his love and comfort soon okay just wait

--

Steren learned he hated the cold. 

He thought he disliked it before when a cold wind would blow from the sea in northern Vvardenfell, but it was nothing like the chill you got on Solstheim. It was frigid, even in Redoran style buildings which tried to keep the freezing cold air out. 

A healer told him he likely had a naturally weak constitution to the cold; an unfortunately common thing for dunmer. Many could survive the cold so long as they had adequate shelter and warmth, whereas others would be shaking and develop hypothermia very quickly in any weather remotely cold, hence why so many remained on Morrowind’s mainland as overcrowded as it was.

Gods… Hearing the story of Red Mountain’s eruption only made this world stranger. Baar Dau supposedly fell and made the volcano erupt, where it still spewed ash and rock in the distance (when he could manage standing outside bundled up long enough). So much had changed… It had supposedly been 200 years or so since the Nerevarine prophecy was fulfilled. The Septim empire fell, there was an invasion from Oblivion--to be frank he still didn’t understand that, but made a mental note to pick up a few books on it--and probably more he’d hear about.

Vvardenfell was basically ruins. Refugees spilled out into Tamriel, and Solstheim was made an official territory of Morrowind. He had out of pure curiosity asked about House Hlaalu, and was told they were no longer a Great House and had basically been purged from Morrowind. 

It was… A strange place. That he couldn’t deny. A very, very strange world. 

Currently he was in the corner club--after being bundled in a few layers of thick wool and a heavy fur cloak by both healers and the hortator and his husband. The king of Morrowind tried to ask him to stay in bed and rest more, but Steren was getting stir crazy, and the healers assured him that walking around a bit would help Steren recover, so long as he stayed warm. 

Steren didn’t talk to people much. He was always told he was quiet, but he was even more so here. He wore a bandana to cover the star on his forehead (several of the citizens of Raven Rock gave him dirty looks and asked if he was a Sixth House cultist when he didn’t), and mostly just listened to other people talk while only half listening but giving the impression he was paying attention. A strangle blue khajiit told him stories from time to time, often repeating himself without realizing it, but more often than not it was a specific mer bothering him.

This elf wasn’t Vivec. He’d been corrected enough to know that, sometimes with fearful glances from servants at the manor as they did so. They warned him heavily that if he said that around the hortator and his husband they could cut his tongue out for the insult and transgression, and since then he had been careful with his tongue. Though talking to him revealed Vivienne was very different from Vivec in more ways that just a few differences in appearance. 

Vivec was… Distant. A bit cold. Sometimes indirect and obfuscating answers to the point of cruelty. It was impossible to tell where his lies ended and his art began--if Vivec truly believed what he said, or if he was saying what others wanted him to hear. 

For a time, in his first life, Steren considered Vivec a mentor figure. As arrogant as it was, the god seemed to show a particular softness to Steren. When he first went for answers he even thought Vivec might actually tell him; sit him down and explain his history and place in the world. Instead Vivec told him to stop looking for answers and shut up. To deal with his life and live in ignorance. Maybe it was out of fear Steren would want revenge. Maybe it was because he was genuinely trying to protect the boy. Steren didn’t know, and now he supposed he never really would. 

Vivienne though was… Different. Softer. Earnest. Nice, if he wanted to be charitable, though Steren tried to avoid people who he would describe as ‘nice’. ‘Nice’ in Morrowind was a red flag. Most people used seeming kindness and a pleasant attitude to manipulate outsiders and those who were unsuspecting, after all. Sweet words were so often followed by a knife in your back, a lesson he had learned so many times before. He’d been conned, stolen from, poisoned, and nearly killed by so many people he thought were nice. 

At the very least he didn’t think Vivienne was dangerous. At least, not a danger to Steren currently. From the stories he half listened too Vivienne seemed very powerful and wasn’t someone he wanted to get on the bad side of, especially not when he had very powerful allies, including the hortator and his husband as his mentors. 

“You’re… Oddly quiet.” Vivienne remarked. Steren--who was only allowed to drink tea after the hortator ordered no one in the corner club to serve him alcohol, though Steren couldn’t tell you why--sipped his drink. Maybe he’d pissed the king off, or perhaps he was worried Steren might drunkenly admit he was “Nerevar’s son” and the king wanted to avoid any rumors. Steren, if he was in Nerevar’s position, would also want to keep “illegitimate child from another world” a secret from the general public. Especially given he learned Nerevar and Voryn in his world couldn’t even have kids. That would be too weird to explain to the general public and would be best buried and never brought up again.

“I’m not sure what to say.” Steren replied, sipping his tea calmly. 

“It’s just,” Vivienne looked away slightly, “Typically you’d expect someone to give a reaction when you say you are practicing the Mephalan arts with their parents.” Steren didn’t really know a whole lot about Mephala except that she was the anticipation of Vivec. 

“I’m not very familiar with Mephala personally. Perhaps that’s why.” Wasn’t she the god of murder or something? It’s not like he cared if the hortator and his husband were teaching someone how to kill. It seemed pretty standard for dunmer culture. 

“... She’s the god of sex, murder, and secrets.” Vivienne admitted. Ah, maybe he was hoping to get a reaction from Steren with that? If it was something that would weird out someone to hear with their ‘parents’, Vivienne must be referring to the sex part of that explanation. 

“It’s hardly any of my business what you do with the Hortator and Hortator’s husband.” Steren wasn’t phased in the slightest. “And besides, they aren’t my parents, so it would be best if you avoided saying things like that about them publicly.” It was impossible to tell who might be listening in, after all. The corner club was mostly empty this time of day and they were tucked away in a secluded spot, but well… There could be eyes and ears everywhere. Last thing Steren needed was someone running through the streets tomorrow morning spreading half truths based on what they heard. He was busy trying to recover enough to get on a boat and leave this frozen island, after all.

An uncomfortable silence followed, Vivienne staring at him with at first confusion, and then something close to… Sadness? That didn’t make sense to Steren, but it was the closest emotion he could name. 

“They are your parents.” Vivienne insisted, his voice softer, trying to take on a gentle tone like one would coax a child. But to Steren it was just nonsense; this wasn’t a little lie you could tell him and have him play pretend with. 

“They aren’t.” Steren reiterated. “My parents are dead.” He sipped his tea again, not making a face despite how bitter and unpleasant it was. He made a mental note to just ask for water next time--it wasn’t poisoned, but it was nasty. The only reason he continued to drink it was because of how dry his throat was and how it kept his hands warm. “And it would be good to avoid saying things like that in case someone misunderstands.” 

“They might be dead in your world but they’re alive here.” Vivienne insisted, though he did try to keep his voice level. 

“They didn’t want me grow up.” Steren sighed. “They didn’t hold me as a baby. They didn’t name me. They don’t even know me, let alone love me.” 

They might have the same names and faces, along with some mannerisms, but that didn’t make them the same. They were strangers, as simple as that. Steren didn’t hate them or resent them--in a way he pitied their position. If they threw him out, they might anger Azura, and also didn’t want to be so callous towards someone they were told was their flesh and blood. Steren could tell they were trying, in bits and pieces. They had healers attend to him, gave him a bed to sleep in… Much more hospitality than the people of Morrowind usually showed strangers. But at the same time he knew they didn’t know what to say or do around him, hovering around him awkwardly. 

Perhaps, if given time, they could get to know each other. They could try and try to be close to one another and they could learn his mannerisms and history, to a degree. But Steren would rather avoid that; as sweet of an idea it might be, he knew he would begin to resent them. He’d resent that they didn’t know him well, couldn’t correct his memories, and didn’t have that shared history. He’d me more like an… Awkward younger brother than a son, at best. And trying in vain to replace his parents with imperfect copies would only break Steren more. 

“They do love you...” Steren resisted the urge to snap at the other mer, his eyebrow twitching. Instead, he bit his tongue, taking a breath to steady himself.

“No,” He replied, keeping his voice level, “They don’t.” Vivienne opened his mouth to counter him, but Steren continued. “They think they’re supposed to love a child that they were told they supposedly had, but that doesn’t make it love. That makes it an obligation.” It was the truth; a truth just as bitter as the tea he was drinking. His adoptive family in his first lifetime thought they loved Steren because they were supposed to, because a god told them to love and care for him, but that didn’t make it love. Eventually they resented him. Eventually they questioned why he was important in the first place. Eventually, without even realizing it, they shoved him out of his place in that family and house. 

“Azura dropped a new problem in their laps--a stranger they don’t know but were told they should care about.” It was, in a way, just a repeat of his first lifetime, except back then he was a young child who didn’t know any better and could barely remember his own father. Now he was an adult who could see just how unfair the circumstances were for everyone involved. Nerevar and Voryn never agreed to this, and Steren would have refused if he knew this would be Azura’s solution. “Do you think I wanted that? I wanted my parents. The ones who loved me.” The ones who chose to have him. The ones who struggled to keep him safe. “I wanted to be with my dad who spent thousands of years haunting my family line because he was afraid of leaving me alone. I wanted to be with my Ata who held me in his lap when he worked and named me so even if they couldn’t be open, my other father would always know I was his.” 

Steren had so many things he wanted to ask them. So many memories he wanted them to share. His birth, his first birthday, the first time ata took him to meet his ancestors at the family hearth… He wanted to listen to his dad sing him the lullaby he always did when Steren was hurt and alone, trying in vain to stroke his hair and reassure him. They could finally be together again, after thousands of years apart, as a family. No more madness, no more heart, no barriers between ghosts and the living. He wanted to hug both of his parents, in earnest, and tell them both he loved them. 

“... And instead I got... Strangers who lived different lives. Who could never have me even if they wanted to. Who never even thought about me until now, but are being asked to give me all the love and attention I wanted from my actual parents.” It was both cruel to Steren and cruel to them; how could this version of Nerevar and Voryn try to fill the gap his actual parents left behind? They couldn’t; it was asking too much of them to try. They had different stories and histories, different ways they lived their lives. You can’t just expect them to drop everything they’ve built for themselves and wedge a random fully grown dunmer in there as their ‘son’. Even if they did want a child, they should adopt one and love them from childhood instead, learn to bond with them and teach them in their own unique ways, rather than try in vain to live up to the standard of Steren’s without even knowing all they did. 

“I wanted to make up for lost time with them. And now I'll probably never see them again--they'll be stuck in the afterlife wondering where I am. What I'm doing.” That was his biggest regret in all this; if Steren had just waited, had just asked for something like a relic or money, he could have waited it out. He could have spent a few years traveling, made peace with his death all over again, and then ended it all. And then he’d be in Moonshadow properly, or the land of his ancestors, being embraced by his dad just like Nerevar promised. 

Instead, now Nerevar and Voryn would wonder for an eternity what happened to him and where he was. That welcoming embrace was never coming. 

They will never be able to tell him they love him again. 

“... I’m tired.” Steren quickly announced, getting up. Vivienne made a motion to stop him but he kept walking, partially limping. “I need to go lay down--sorry.” He apologized regardless, gingerly brushing off Vivienne’s hand. 

It wasn’t Vivienne’s fault either. No doubt to him his mentors were loving and compassionate people, but they weren’t Steren’s parents. Azura can try to say she technically upheld her end of the bargain all she wants, but they can’t replace Steren’s Ata and Dad. 

He took a deep breath in the cold air as he began his slow walk to the manor. He just had to hold out a little more. Just a bit more and he could get a boat and go somewhere else. Somewhere where he wouldn’t be reminded his parents were dead and he wouldn’t even meet them in the afterlife. Somewhere where no one knew the Nerevarine prophecy either, and he could disappear into a crowd. Somewhere he could start over and process his grief. 

But for now he needed to hold it in. Lashing out did no good; none of these people were his allies, sure, but they also weren’t his enemies. Just people in the same shitty circumstances; people he didn’t want to be around and who also didn’t want to be around him. Lashing out would only make him enemies of very powerful people and cause him more problems anyways. 

He just needed to keep his head down and wait.

#steren #steren nerevarine #vivi au #my writing #:(

[thetrashppl]

heyo fam i wish i had the courage to ask off anon BUT anyway. How do you get so fast at art other than the fact that you'll die if you spend more than 10 mins?

hellooooo

i dont know tbh, and to be fair my art is like. super sketchy and unrendered and full of lines that dont need to be there lmao

i've just drawn a lot all my life as a form of escapism ig and depending on the season i'll draw more to escape and less to learn or do something 'pretty'. rn im also not doing much of anything else at the moment so i got a lot of time in my hands to just draw and draw

but i think the answer is the same as always, just lots of practice. there's also stuff i draw way faster than other stuff, like smug cartoony faces pfrt cause theres a structure i have memorized and can warp and modify depending on whati need at the moment. i think the best thing u can do is find something that motivates u and draw it a lot cause believe it or not it helps A LOT to loosen ur lines and learn stuff as u go while fully motivated even if it's the same subject. sometimes ill try to jump straight into a full body sketch and it will just not work. if i warm up for an hour or so just drawing busts while listening to music ill suddenly find myself in the zone and i'll be able to get the full body drawing done much easier

i have lost all practice but i rmmbr learning to better draw layered clothes and learning to organize comic pages and studying how to draw robot like shit just because i loved timothy lawrence and wanted to draw a lot of stuff of him and my oc together. it evolved the way i understood faces and still hold that knowledge to this day

hopefully any of this works out for u. also look at other artists' work for inspiration and motivation, never to compare urself! i miss the days i went to art classes cause wow THAT was absolutely motivating. the feedback and fun you can have just drawing stuff with and for other people can also help u see ur art in a much brighter light. makes it fun to learn and evolve

#ask #sorry if i rambled #hope any of that is useful