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1rosex · 5 years

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BTS reaction to teaching s/o how to dance

Request: can I please get a fluffy reaction to dancing with their s/o or teaching them how to? Thank youu

A/N I did this completely via mobile so hopefully nothing goes wrong-

Masterlist

Jin

You watched as Jin flailed his arms around like a one of those floaty tube things you see outside of a store.

"Follow my lead Y/N! And one and two and one and two and onetwoonetwonetwo." Jin started to flail around so much you were afraid that he'd dislocate his shoulder. "Jin, I'm taking lessons from Hoseok remember?"

"From J-Hope?!" Jin stopped and turned to look at you with a look of utter betrayal. "Why?? I'm just as good as J-Hope! No, I'm even better. I'm the best dancer on the team! I invented dance, I invented this band. They might as well be calling it Jinhit cause I'm carrying this whole company on my broad shoulders!" Jin's face had turned red, which caused you to laugh. He sat down along the wall with a huff, looking like a scolded child. You got up and moved over to him, taking his arms and pulling him back to his feet.

"Can you teach me how to rap to Fake Love?" You asked with a smile. His whole face lit up.

"Ah, I knew you would come to recognize my superior talents."

Namjoon

You couldn't help but laugh when Namjoon tried to prove to you that he could do the worm.

"Is this supposed to be the worm or fish out of water?" You asked.

"First of all, ouch." Namjoon said as he gave up and came to a sitting position. "Second of all, I am trying to teach you my ways. Be grateful."

"You're right, my bad." You laughed. Namjoon sighed and sat down besides you, resting his head on your shoulder.

"Sorry. I'm not the best, or the most talented, I'm not Park Jimin. I can't teach you, but I can make you laugh. And that's all that matters."

"Namjoon you've practiced so hard. You are an amazing dancer. I am proud of you." You said, and Namjoon beamed. Suddenly Jin was rushing into the studio. "Wait, you're teaching Y/N how to dance??"

"Oh no.." you breathed.

"Yes! Together we can teach her!" Namjoon got to his feet, and you laughed as they both teamed up to try and teach you. Well, you said you wanted to learn how to dance. You never specified how well.

Yoongi

"How was that?"

"You're doing great." Yoongi didn't even open his eyes, laying down on the ground on the verge of sleep. "I really liked the part where you uh.. Did the jump.."

You looked back at him with a look of annoyance. "There was no jump." You hoped that would wake him up but you swear you heard him snore. You walked over to him and waved your hand over his face. He opened his eyes slightly, squinting against the light.

"Yoongi, I didn't ask Hoseok to teach me to dance because you said you wanted to. But you're not even teaching me, so if you want you can go home and I'll just call him-"

"No no," Yoongi's eyes suddenly opened, he rushed to his feet and stretched his joints like a cat. "Give me a beat."

You shook your head as baepsae started playing. Instead of breaking into the actual choreography, Yoongi started doing his own thing. You broke out laughing as he made a fool of himself, wondering where the burst of energy came from.

"Try to keep up Y/N!"

J-Hope

The Gordan Ramsey of choreography. The Simon Cowell of dance precision. Aka, your boyfriend Jung Hoseok.

You don't know how or why you agreed to let him teach you some of his bands choreography, but it was proving to be more stressful then what you had initially believed. He was practically breathing down your neck at every move and you felt like he was going to turn into that video of the instructor yelling "Patricia" at any given moment.

"Hobi please. I don't think anyone is going to notice of my foot is at 92° instead of a precise 90°." You sighed in exhaustion as he corrected you.

"I'm not trying to be precise, just close."

You suddenly started laughing, as Hoseok gave you an unamused look. You went over to the speaker, ignoring his protests as you changed the song to a compilation of girl group dances.

"Show me how you can really dance." You teased him. At first he seemed annoyed that you wouldn't just cooperate with his lessons, but within minutes you were competing against him in who could do a better hair flip to Boombahyah.

"This isn't fair Y/N, if I had long luscious hair I'd be winning for sure.

Jimin

Jimin was an amazing and talented dancer, but he was an awful teacher. He ran through the moves too quick, which led to you not picking up all of the counts and timing.

You tried to replicate what he showed you but you missed a step and caused him to give you a stern look.

"You're hot when you're mad." You said which caused him to get flustered, but that was quickly replaced by a cocky smile.

"Well maybe you need to start messing up more hm?"

"Maybe I will" You purred as he snaked his arms around your waist and kissed your neck.

You both jumped when the door slammed open. "Hey! Not in the practice room!" Jin yelled, separating you two. "This is the hip hop room not the bedroom!"

You smiled at Jimin as the rest of the members filed back into the room, which meant you wouldn't get back to your private lessons anytime soon.

"Oh well, I guess this will have to wait for another time."

Taehyung

"Get ready to go down Y/N!" Taehyung looks exhausted, his hairs a mess, his chest is rising and falling and he's sweating. But you probably don't look any better. You'd been going hard at a game of Just Dance for an hour, and this was the last round. If Taehyung won this round, you would lose. If he didn't, then you'd be tied.

"Try me Kim Taehyung!" You challenge. You had concluded that the loser had to be the one to make breakfast tomorrow for the other boys. Jin was out all week, and no one was going to let Namjoon do it. If you tied, you both had to.

"NO" Taehyung yelled as his score came onto the screen.

"YES!" You pumped your fist in the air in victory. Sure you still had to cook either way, but at least you didn't have to do it alone. Taehyung fell dramatically to the ground and laid his head on the carpet.

"You're lucky I make a good omelet..."

Jungkook

"What in the world are they doing?" Namjoon asked. He had barely stepped into the dance practice studio and he could already hear the music blasting from the practice room.

"It's Jungkook and Y/N. I'm not sure I even want to know." Yoongi sighed, as the members approached the doorway. They peeked into the room to see you and Jungkook dancing around while Old Town Road blasted on the speakers.

"I GOT THE HORSES IN THE BACK"

"HORSE TAK IS ATTACHED"

"HAT IS MATTE AND BLACK, GOT THE BOOTS THAT'S BLACK TO MATCH"

You suddenly stopped singing and came to an abrupt stop when you noticed the amused members at the door, Jimin quietly filming the whole scene. You started frantically hitting Jungkook on the shoulder, who was still into the song.

"CAN'T NOBODY TELL ME NOTHIN- ow ow, what's your issue Y/N??" He gave you a betrayed expression before following your gaze to the door and seeing the members all laughing. He adjusted the cowboy hat on his head and smiled sheepishly. "Howdy."

"I thought you were going to be teaching Y/N choreography??" Namjoon asked.

"I am.. Just not to your average BTS songs."

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goldeneyedgirl · 4 years

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2019 Fic Meme

My end of year fic meme, compiled from some old Livejournal fic memes that I do when I write stuff. I do this for fun, because I like looking back at what I have and haven’t written, and what keeps popping up again.

It’s meant to be silly fun, and if anyone else wants to do it, PLEASE DO. I don’t want to tag anyone and put pressure on you in case you don’t want to/don’t think you have enough fic/hate memes.

Twilight

12 Days of Fic-Mas (Twilight, WIP) Day 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, bonus. Twelve days of fic extracts, previews, and drabbles focusing on Alice Cullen. Encompasses Folie A Deux, The Only Girl in the World, JessaminexAlice, Omens, Asylum, The Long Way Around, The Dark and the Unknown, Hybrid, Runaway, All These Broken Things, & The Unexpected Second Life of Mary Alice Brandon

Shadow to Light (WIP) (Alice/Jasper, AU Angst, PG) In 1918, Jasper lures the newborn known as Mary-Alice back to Monterrey. He is lost to her before it even begins.

Total number of completed stories: Lol.

Total word count: 33,304 words were posted.

Looking back, did you write more fic than you thought you would this year, less, or about what you’d predicted? Look, I just... 2019 was a wash in so many ways. I played a lot of Fortnite really badly. I would have loved to be able to say Shadow to Light was finished, or that I was posting Hybrid regularly or something, but I can’t. I wish, wish, wish I had posted more but alas.

What pairing/genre/fandom did you write that you would never have predicted in January? Outside of Twilight, I dabbled with some reader/Ben in the Umbrella Academy, and I was messing around with some Janet/Wanda in my personal MCU canon. As for Twilight, I think my stuff got a lot darker? Like, we’re down the rabbit hole here, and somehow Alice ended up being the most feared vampire in the Americas? Yeah.

And there’s the Avengers/Twilight fic that is simultaneously three fics and one fic because I cannot make Executive Decisions and I can’t decide if I like 1. Alice knowing Bucky from Before Jasper; 2. Alice knowing Hawkeye from when he was a kid in the circus and being how Natasha and Clint got out of Budapest, or 3. the Volturi hooking up with Hydra and ... yeah, I think this one is legit the most second-most one of the most embarrassing things I’ve ever written. (I’ve been filing today, and boy howdy have I written some actual shit.)

What’s your own favourite story of the year? Not the most popular, but the one that makes you happiest? That’s like making me pick a favourite child. I’m always so, so proud of Shadow to Light, and I love The Dark and the Unknown ‘verse, and Hybrid is just hanging out there, chilling and ugh. My babies <3

Did you take any writing risks this year? What did you learn from them? TwilightFicMas was a huge risk! I wasn’t sure anyone cared unless I was posting more Shadow to Light, and people were SO nice and enthusiastic. So I guess the lesson is shut up and share more fic? Get out of your own head and spend time in the community because fandom isn’t meant to be lonely?

Do you have any fanfic or profic goals for the New Year? I’m starting a graphic design business AND my masters in design in 2020, so I figure fic is going to be my downtime next year. Ideally, I would love to get STL finished, Memento Vivere’s sequel going, and have a few of my shorter pieces posted. I would really love to get some of my original stuff ready for publication, but I’d be happy studying, running my business, and doing the fic thing for 2020.

My best story of this year: That’s up to the readers, I guess. Everyone seemed obscenely enthusiastic about The Unexpected Second Life of Mary Alice Brandon, though, and I was not expecting that at all - I was actually upset that I left the ‘dud’ fic for the last day of FicMas.

My most popular story: Shadow to Light. Everyone is so nice and enthusiastic and polite about that one. I’m not used to it! Fandom for me is usually me sitting in a corner, doin’ my obscure thing, and maybe one or two people will read what I’m working on.

Story of mine most under-appreciated by the universe, in my opinion: I think everyone was super enthusiastic and nice about everything I posted this year. Maybe Folie A Deux? But like, that reflects more on me and the excerpts that I chose to post rather than the fic or the audience itself.

Most fun story to write: The Unexpected Second Life of Mary Alice Brandon because that Alice is so happy; I have this playlist for it that is super upbeat and funky.

Hybrid is fun because that Alice likes to torment Jasper. He understands Edward on a molecular level once Alice arrives.

Most Sexy Story: The Dark and the Unknown is the front-runner for that, because most of the sexy goings-on in Shadow to Light is very much focused on the psychological and emotional aspects rather than the physical.

Story with the single sexiest moment: The Dark and the Unknown. I am still deeply uncomfortable writing sex scenes, so this may be the only one I ever do. The implication of a blow job in Shadow to Light nearly kill me tbh.

The forest behind the school is silent; just her breathing, and the slight wind. No birds or wildlife, none of the hum of the traffic or of the school.

They don’t undress more than necessary, her skirt slid to her hips, and he takes her roughly against a tree, flakes of bark falling into the dirt. She is hot and slick, and silent as he fucks her, his fingers digging into her hips, a growl rising in his chest. She is every bit his fantasy; the smell of damp flowers, the sweetness of her flesh, her willing supplication. His fingers tear through the lace of her tights as he grips her thighs, and the heels of her shoes must be bending, she’s digging them into the backs of his legs so hard.

Most “holy crap, that’s wrong, even for you” story: The Long Way Around makes Jasper and Alice’s relationship pretty fucked up, and tbh I look back at it and really struggle with how dark it is and how dark Jasper’s character becomes. There’s a reason that Shadow to Light is the ‘official’ version - it’s a better balance, and I actually think Maria is a lot more interesting in Shadow to Light as a villain with complex relationships with both Jasper and Alice to the point where none of them really want to have to kill each other, but there is a lot of hate on both sides.

Story that shifted my own perceptions of the characters: That’s a hard question. Shadow to Light definitely did that because I had to consider what happened when you took Alice out of the picture, and how that changed what happened, and considered the inter-family relationships. So much of canon relies on Alice’s visions that things can’t just happen the same way.

Hardest story to write: Shadow to Light isn’t easy because I have such a specific idea of how it plays out, how it ‘looks’ in my head, and because Alice is so fundamentally different to canon. More innocent when it comes to normal interactions, and so controlled because it meant life or death - but she’s still got to be Alice in a way that people can recognize. It also has to sound right? If I can’t get the right turn of phrase for one scene, it has to be put aside until I can work it out.

All These Broken Things is hard because I started it back in, like, 2014ish and my writing and understanding of the characters and canon has changed so much - plus there are a few sections that came to me quite early in the writing, and now sound really out of place, but are such a strong linchpin for the story that I have to rework them in. It’s a good kind of hard, though, because I’ve improved so much, my ideas and goals are more refined.

Most disappointing: Omens is a little bitch, honestly. I started it for a fic contest and kept going to explore Alice’s human life, and it doesn’t quite feel like my writing? It needs reworking, and be a little less obvious because I think the ‘four horsemen of the apocalypse’ is a good theme for a Human!Alice fic.

Easiest story to write: Depends on my mood; Hybrid is great when I’m in kind of a ‘girls kicking ass’ mood and boot up my action girls playlist.

Biggest surprise: Hybrid started as a love story that was basically ‘yeah, let’s make this shit super dramatic and overwrought’, and turned into this actual story with a huge focus on family and relationships. I can’t remember why I decided Alice’s father had a husband except that I was thinking about small town ‘otherness’, and LGBT+ people can and are still considered ‘other’ in these spaces.

Then you add in Alice and Cynthia who are basically in the same boat but have been separated for their entire lives. Alice has knowledge in her corner, whilst having to fight through foster care, abuse, and hospital; whilst Cynthia has lived a very normal but privileged life as the daughter of a mixed-race same-sex couple in a very small town. I went full-hog with this, and added in an extended family, because I really hated how canon went balls-to-the-wall to isolate Bella from everyone, including Charlie.

Like, this thing is a monster, and whilst I plan to sit down and rewrite the outline (which dates back to 2016, and I hate the ending of), I stopped outlining at 65 freaking chapters.

Most unintentionally telling story: I think this question that still confuses me finally gets a decent answer in The Dark and the Unknown - Jasper is seeing most of it from his perspective, and there isn’t a ton of dialogue. I’ve tried to avoid an info-dump, but it’s meant to be quite supernatural in tone, and focusing on vampire senses and gifts enhances that.

Story I’d like to revise: All These Broken Things wins that one. Due to the age of the piece, there are some pacing and tone issues in later chapters that are the reason I haven’t formally posted it.

Story I didn’t write but will at some point, I swear: Oh man, I really want to finish A Thousand Years of Solitude, which is a Tanya fic. I’m really happy with what I’ve got so far, but it sounds smarter and more layered than it really is, so I’m kind of stuck.

Mad World because Romani!Alice is super sassy and taking 0% of Swan or Cullen bullshit - I think 90% of my fic is just me going, “yeah, that’s not how normal people react.” And I’m a sucker for gothic horror.

What else? Aww, Against A Wall which is AU Human Jasper coming from the shittiest home, and Alice finding him. It’s meant to be short, and another one I have a really clear idea of how it needs to work.

And the one where Alice’s gift is a sentient power that pushes her to follow it; that Bad Things happen if she doesn’t; that Renesmee was always Endgame for Something, and Alice was a key piece to get that result. Or the one where Aro takes Alice as a ‘guest’ for a period because of Edward and Bella, and Alice’s gift is basically broken.

Good times. I have like 5 years of fic on this computer, we could be here for awhile.

#my fic #twilight fic #meme #my writing

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proxylynn · 6 years

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UNDERFELL: FILE NAME NOT EDGY ENOUGH part #2

Chapter 2: Flowey

WARNING: I WANT NO RESPONSIBILITY OVER SPOILING THINGS FOR OTHERS. THAT BEING SAID, THIS HOW FILE NAME NOT FOUND WOULD FUNCTION IN THE AU OF UNDERFELL. BEFORE YOU READ THIS, UNLIKE THE NICE TIME OF UNDERTALE, THIS WORLD IS KILL OR BE KILLED. THIS STORY WILL BE GRAPHIC, GORY, USE SWEARS LIKE NOBODY'S BUSINESS, AND DEAL WITH SENSITIVE SUBJECT MATTERS. FOR EXAMPLE, THOSE OF YOU WHO HAVE READ THE FILE NAME RELOCATED SPOOF WILL KNOW HOW I PICTURE THIS VERSION OF LYNSIE COMING TO THE UNDERGROUND. IT IS NOT AN ACCIDENT. IT IS NOT BECAUSE OF SOMETHING DUMB. IT IS BECAUSE SHE CHOOSES TO END HER LIFE. AGAIN, THIS IS A BETA AND THIS OPENING CHAPTER IS LIABLE TO CHANGE TO BETTER FIT THE STORY AND MY NEWEST WRITING ABILITIES. SO TAKE THIS DEMO WITH A GRAIN OF SALT. I MADE IT BECAUSE I NEEDED TO LET SOME OF THIS EDGINESS OUT OF MYSELF. WHICH I GUESS MAKES UNDERFELL LYNSIE EVEN MORE TRUE TO WHO I REALLY AM. ANYWAY, ENJOY. ^_^

Darkness...everything is so dark, I can't see anything, I can't hear anything, I can't feel anything...there is nothing, nothing but darkness...dark, darker, yet darker...the darkness keeps growing, the shadows cutting deeper...wow...dying is very bleak...why does everyone think something incredible is supposed to happen...all there is, is the empty nothingness of the void and the deafening silence of nonexistence...

"🕈✌😐 🕆🏱 🕆💣✌ ✏" (WAKE UP HUMAN!)

"*gasp*!"

My eyes shoot open painfully, I feel as if I had just come back to life. My lungs feel empty and crave oxygen greedily, and my entire body aches...especially my left arm. Great. Just fucking great. Fuck you fate! Fuck you death! You could've at least do me a solid and finish the job or not damage me at all!

I lay where I am for awhile, letting my body adjust to what had happened and waiting for the pain to numb. I seem to have landed awkwardly. My lower body feels like its aimed to the ground while my top-half is clearly looking up at the hole I just fell into. Something's broken, I just know it.

"Well, this sucks. *groan* Fuck you, universe! Once again, you fail to get rid of me! *long sigh* Even when I give you control, you won't let me die. *pause* I wonder...Do they even notice I'm gone? Better question...Will they care? God! Was it too fucking hard just to be told 'I love you' before heading out that damn door?! Would it really be so bad to feel like I matter all?! *sadness* Is it really so wrong to know someone cares?"

I can feel the urge to cry coming but bite my tongue. I don't have time to pity myself.

"Okay...What's the damage?"

After about 20 minutes of laying like a lump, I force my body to move and straighten while sitting up. My joints pop multiple times and I see why my arm is now so messed up. It would appear my earlier prediction was true, I landed on a fallen crystal shard that had the luck to be jabbed into my shoulder.

"Whelp...This is gonna sting like the dickens."

I take a cautious grasp of the crystal that's protruding in the front and take a few deep breathes before holding it. That's when I grit my teeth and yank it out hard as the crystal is tossed across the room.

"*wincing* Yep...That hurts...Oooh, that hurts...How bad is...Huh...Not bleeding as bad as it feels...I call that a win."

I try to put some weight on it and it folds like an origami swan. I try moving my fingers but they don't respond. Damn it. The whole thing is dislocated. I know I'm a sucker for pain, but even I need help fixing this thing. Looking back up, I can see the mouth of the hole I fell from. That has to be a good 50-60 feet from the top to the bottom, definitely no way to climb out even if I had both arms. Nope. I'm stuck down here. My eyes wander around my landing place, I've landed on a small bed of yellow flowers that are now stained red with my blood, there are about 4 large marble pillars that I can barely see, stalactites coat the walls, and of course the dead vines that somehow creep their way out of this pit. Suddenly something shiny gets my attention.

"Heh...Glad to see someone made it here in one piece."

My iPod managed to bounce its way over to what looks like the only exit I can see in this place.

"Well, as long as I'm stuck here..."

I move to get up and immediately drop again.

"God damn it..."

My right leg doesn't want to work with me either. At least it has feeling and I can move it, so I know it still functions.

"Sprain? Broken bone? Geez...I can't get a break. *snicker* Or can I?"

Lame jokes at my own expense aside, I try once more to stand and this time not put as much weight on it. This thankfully works and I'm able to limp my over to my lonesome device. I'll check if it works later. Right now, my goals are to first find someone or something that I can use to heal. Damn myself for not going to medical school when I had the chance. I slowly begin to follow the only path that is given to me, oddly enough there's a door-less archway. Yeah, like this isn't foreboding at all.

Entering this room, I find it's completely empty except for a single flower. It's a golden flower, with a white androecium, six yellow petals, and a green stem. You know, a typical looking flower if ever there was one. It is odd how flowers of any kind are able to grow down here without sunlight. They should be as dead as those vines.

"H-Howdy!"

A sudden voice freaks the crap out of me, but what really is freaking me out is the fact that the flower has a face and is now nervously smiling at me.

"I...I'm FLOWEY. FLOWEY the FLOWER!"

A talking flower? A real talking flower complete with a name? My mind makes no sense of this.

"Uh...S'up?"

It seems surprised to see me, looking me over like I'm some sort of new type of animal. Has he never seen a human before? Of course not, dummy, it lives in a freaking cave! Wake up, idiot. I know I fell down and hit a lot of shit, but I can't be so stupid. I've had worse head trauma than this. Still...Am I really that weird looking?

At least I think I'm normal enough. I'm 5'8'' tall, got a decent body type, long brown hair I let loose that reaches my ass but is currently curtaining my face, pale white skin, got 2 surgical stainless steel captive earrings in each earlobe, dressed in a red blood stained long sleeved t-shirt and now ripped black dungarees with that have chains hooked on each belt-loop, some black combat boots...Okay, yeah, I take it back. I'm fucking freaky looking.

"S-Say...You're n-new to the UNDERGROUND, aren'tcha?"

Why do I have the sudden urge to be a huge dick?

"Heh...Yeah. You could say I just dropped in."

It gulps, I believe out of intimidation.

"G-Golly, y-you must be so c-confused."

"Look, flower-boy, there's no need to sound so scared. I ain't gonna mess with you."

It tilts its head.

"Huh? You...You're not?"

My right leg fidgets before I buckle to it again. This seems to worry the flower.

"W-Whoa! Are you okay?"

"*grunt* The fall messed me up...My leg isn't wanting to move so well. It's not as bad as the arm though."

"Your arm...?"

Now it seems to take notice of the limb appendage dangling at my side.

"You're bleeding!"

"Dislocated...Can't move it. Not so bad, really. I'm right-handed."

"H-How are you able to make jokes at when you're so hurt?"

"Eh...It distracts from the pain. *wince* Doesn't stop the pain though. Y-You wouldn't happen to know if there's somewhere I can get patched up? Maybe someone else down here that's a doctor or something? Hell, I'll take a creepy old witch covered in warts and wreaking of cat piss if they'll fix me."

It looks around, like an animal knowing a predator is nearby.

"I...I know we just met, but...You seem...Well...Honestly, you seem like a weirdo. B-B-But a decent weirdo that hasn't tried to kill me!"

"Why would I...? Whatever. You were saying?"

"R-Right...Do you think you can trust me?"

"Flowey, was it? I don't know how much you know about humans, but if this wound isn't sealed, I will die. So I'd like to skip the 'do you trust me' cliché and get to the part where you help me so I can help you."

Its eyes widen.

"W-Why do you think I..."

"You're acting as nervous as a cat in a dog pound. Flowers aren't really high on the big bad scale. I can put two and two together enough to know you're in a bind just talking to me this long. So again, I say let's skip to the part where you help me so I can help you...Please?"

It gives me a sad but understanding look before nodding a tad more confidently.

"Alright. Put that arm on the ground in front of me."

I crawl over to Flowey and do as it asked. I lurch down and plop this hunk of dead weight onto the dirt. Flowey looks at it and then me before looking at my hand. I start to question so much, like my sanity, at this point till these little vines begin creeping out of the soil and make their way up my arm. I bet this would feel strange if I had the nerve connection. With the vines scaling up my arm, Flowey's body follows suit and soon enough its reached my shoulder.

"Now this might sting a little."

"Probably not as bad as yanking the rock out of their in the first place."

Still, I brace myself for whatever is to come. It feels like time stops till my eyes widen in intense pain.

"*roar*!"

A vine quickly wraps around my mouth to muffle my loud sounds of pain as Flowey shifts his roots to enter the wound, filling it. Other vines snake their way downward, wrapping around my torso and curling around my bad leg. Please say this is hell! Please say I'm in hell and this is my punishment for trying to die! Because if I really am alive this is fucked up!

"Shhhhh! You really don't want the guardian to find you here. If we're lucky, she'll think that roar was from another monster."

Monster? Guardian? Again, please tell me this is hell!

"I know it hurts. Just bear with me a little longer. Ow! No biting!"

"*muffled whimpering*"

"Almost...and..."

*clack*

"*muffled roaring*"

"There. I managed to pull the bone back into place. You should be able to move it again...I hope. I'm not a doctor after all."

"*muffled whimpering*"

"Oh! And I'm helping to brace your leg too. Just try not to do anything reckless. Okay? I'm just acting as a temporary band-aid. Now, I'm going to remove the gag. Can you promise to not scream or...roar?"

I nod slowly. Cautiously, the vines leave my mouth and I make little whimper sounds.

"That bad?"

"My life flashed before my eyes..."

"And?"

"...It was disappointing."

Flowey pouts but gasps when I move my left arm to move the hair out of my face so I can wipe the tears from my heavily bagged hazel eyes.

"Whoa...You have a face."

I roll my eyes.

"What? You thought there was nothing here?"

"Well, no. I just thought...well...You looked so creepy with your hair like that."

"I can see that. So...You're rooted around the bones?"

"Just till you can heal."

"Neat."

"So...Do all humans roar?"

"Nope. I'm just weird like that."

"Why?"

"I don't know how to scream."

"...Really?"

"Yep. I roar instead. It's just how I am."

"I'm not sure if that's cool or not."

"Whatever floats your boat. But, uh...As a flower, don't you need dirt?"

"Uh...Maybe?"

"...What do you mean maybe? Are you really fine being in my blood?"

"In case you haven't noticed, I'm not really a normal flower."

"So there aren't other talking flowers down here?"

"Nope. ...Just me."

Seems I've touched a sore spot. Best move on to something else. I push myself up and stretch to a stand. It feels so bizarre, yet, not in a bad way.

"You mentioned a 'guardian'...Mind telling me more?"

"Oh! Her name is Toriel. She patrols the Ruins looking for fallen humans to take their souls."

That gets to me.

"So the legends are true? The monsters are really down here?"

"You know about that?"

"Only what is in old folklore books. Humanity has moved on since the old days. Gone is the way of magic. Modern man is the master of technology now. It's actually really sad to find out this is real...No one believes the old stories were true. Monster kind is nothing more than myth up there now."

Flowey looks hurt and I don't like it. I pat his petal head.

"Don't be sad."

"Huh?"

"The world may forget you down here, but I won't. So buck up my friend."

Its eyes widen.

"F-Friend?"

I rub the back of my head bashfully.

"Look at me. What kind of friend doesn't even tell the other their name. Man, I suck at this. Hi Flowey, I'm Lynsie. But you can call me Lynn for short. Nice to meet you."

It smiles.

"It's nice to meet you too."

[You've made your very first friend. It fills you with an oddly warm fuzzy feeling...and DETERMINATION.]

Uh...What?

"You okay?"

"Did you just hear something?"

"No? Did you?"

I shake it off.

"Probably just my imagination."

"Okay...We should get going anyway. The longer we stay in one place, the worse our odds of safety are."

"Alright. *pose* Come with me, Flowey! We shall now travel down the only road given to us!"

Flowey looks at me funny.

"Oh my god, I'm attached to a huge dork."

"You'll get used to it."

"I highly doubt that."

And off we go. Adventure and probably more bullshit await us. We walk through another archway and into a dreary looking space. The walls are layered in red brick, dry red leaves sit at the base of the duel stairway while some leaves make a square in the center of the room. Up the stairs and through another archway we enter a room that actually has a door in it, but it also has six raised stones on the floor and a yellow switch by the door...what's this about?

"Hey, you need to press the buttons in the right order and then flip the switch to get through the door. The RUINS are full of puzzles. Ancient fusions between diversions and door keys. If you want to make it out of here you'll need to do these things."

"Seems a bit dumb."

"I know this one. Just walk where I point."

Taking directions from a flower...never saw this coming in my life. I move where Flowey guides me to and then flip the switch, the door opens.

"Seems easy enough."

"They'll get trickier the farther we go."

"Of course they will."

I go to walk into the next room but pause for a moment, a plaque by the door has my attention.

[Only the fearless may proceed. Brave ones, foolish ones. Both walk not the middle road.]

What is doing that?!

Feeling weird I enter the next room and Flowey proceeds to teach me even more about puzzles.

"So...What can you tell me about the 'underground'?"

"Yeah, you really don't know what to do, do you? Someone ought to teach you how things work around here! I guess little old me will have to do."

"That's why I asked."

"Alright. Just don't freak out about this."

A strange energy is felt and a red heart appears on my chest. This makes me feel awkward and vulnerable. I don't like it.

"See that heart? That is your SOUL, the very culmination of your being!"

"Interesting..."

I do feel a sense of power, not sure what it means, but I like it.

"Your SOUL starts out weak, but can grow strong if you gain a lot of LV."

"LV? Like as in Level?"

He snickers and shakes his head.

"No, silly. LV doesn't mean level. Well, not quite really. What do you think this is? A video game or something?"

"It's just the first thing to pop up in my head. I play a ton of video games and LV usually stands for Level."

"No harm done, Human. Anyway...What LV stands for is Level of Violence."

"Ah, an acronym. Very clever."

"LV is a way of measuring someone's capacity to hurt. The more you kill, the easier it becomes to distance yourself. The more you distance yourself, the less you will hurt. The more easily you can bring yourself to hurt others. To increase your LV, you need to gain EXP."

"I'm wrong for thinking that's Experience Points, aren't I?"

"You really are a big nerd."

I shrug.

"EXP is also an acronym. It stands for Execution Points. A way of quantifying the pain you have inflicted on others. When you kill someone, your EXP increases. When you have enough EXP, your LV increases."

"I don't mean to interrupt, but...Why would I need to be killing down here?"

"Since the War, monsters have taken to a darker side of thinking. In this world, it's kill or BE killed. Humans that fall down here are to be killed and have their souls taken to King Asgore so that the barrier can finally be broken."

I give this some thought.

"Flowey...How many souls are needed to break the barrier?"

"Seven."

"And...How many does the King have?"

"Flowey?"

"...Six."

A sudden sense of weight hits my soul.

"So...I'd be the last one needed. The final soul to free all monsters."

"Yeah."

[You asked the universe if it would hurt to be someone that mattered...It answered back with a YES.]

Seriously, what the fuck is that?!

"I know that's a lot to drop on you, but you need to know this stuff. Monsters will be trying to kill you left and right to get a hold of that soul. You need to be ready to take a life to save your own."

I stop and cup my soul in my right hand. So much fuss over this thing? So much riding on it. So fate, you've decided to finally give me an answer to all the times I've asked why you made me ignored. What a sick sense of humor you have. At least death has better jokes.

"*giggles*"

"Um...Why are you laughing?"

"*chuckles* Because life is funny sometimes."

Pressing my soul inward to return to my body, I can't help but smile at such universal irony. Okay world, you kept me alive this long. Guess this was what you were waiting for my sorry ass to do all these years.

"Flowey..."

"Yeah?"

"I'm not going to kill anyone."

It looks at me in disbelief as I start walking again.

"Wha...What do you mean you're not going to kill anyone?! There's no other option!"

"You'd be surprised by the weird and random choices one can make when given a chance."

"I'm telling you, there is NO choice! If you don't fight, you WILL die!"

"Oh, I never said I wasn't going to fight."

Now it's confused.

"I...I don't understand?"

"I mean it when I say I'm not killing anyone. Hell, I can't even get myself to die. I doubt the reaper wants what I send its way either."

It looks concerned.

"Human..."

"So if death doesn't want me, then I sure as hell ain't wasting this second chance. I will not kill. But I will defend myself."

"...You're going to get us both killed."

"No...Just myself. I'm the one with the soul needed to free everyone. The moment shit starts going south, I won't hold it against you if you leave me."

Flowey just stares at me. What thoughts run through your head little flower-boy?

"*scoff* Like I can really leave you, idiot. You're a sitting duck without me."

I see this as Flowey's tough guy act and simply smile.

"Glad to know I have a partner that's got my back...among other body parts."

It flinches.

"Was that suppose to be a joke?"

"Why are you flustered, flower-boy? Did that get under your skin?"

"Stop it."

"Why? Do you have a bone to pick with me?"

"Stop it! You're not funny."

"Ow. And here I thought you were rooting for me."

"*growl* I said...SHUT UP!"

I merely laugh as we enter the room after this. But this is when things get weird. There's a training dummy in it.

"Well, Ms. NoKill, time to show me what you got. As a human living in the UNDERGROUND, monsters WILL attack you. Even if you don't do anything to justify the attack. Just being human is warrant enough. When you encounter a monster, you will enter a FIGHT. Let me see how you handle the Dummy."

I go up to the dummy and check it out. The Dummy's appearance is that of most dummies. Structured with a head, body, stand and no arms. It looks to be made a cloth-like material, probably stuffed with cotton, has one button eye and has visible stitches. It won't take much effort to break it. But...

"Yo, what's up?"

Flowey's eye twitches.

"What are you doing?"

"Can't you see? I'm talking to it."

"Why?! It's a freaking dummy!"

"No need to be so rude. Please forgive my friend here, I think it woke up on the wrong side of the flowerbed."

"Argh! Stop making those stupid jokes."

"I will when they stop being funny."

"Look, just hit the dummy. At least once. It's not like it can harm you if you do and desire revenge."

"You don't know that."

"*annoyed* Fine! Do whatever you want!"

Flowey's so cute when ticked off. But this doesn't feel so weird to me. Having no one to talk to makes you talk to yourself and objects a lot more than others would care to know. A familiar energy tugs at me and my SOUL reappears...it's green now. Very strange.

"You look like a nice guy. Just because you're a dummy, doesn't mean you deserve to be hit. In fact..."

Out of all the random things I tend to do, this one goes up on my list. I hug the dummy. I'm not expecting much to happen from this, other than Flowey to go nuts, so imagine my shock when a black box pops up beside me and the dummy.

[You hug the DUMMY.]

[It seem really uncomfortable about this and tires of your shenanigans.]

I suddenly feel movement and let the dummy go. Upon doing so, the dummy floats away into another room. Leaving me and Flowey to share the same dumbfounded look.

[YOU WON!]

[You earned 0 XP and 0 gold.]

The FIGHT seemingly over, everything reverts to normal. My soul returns to me and I am very confused.

"Uh...What?!"

"What just happened here? What was that box? Can I really earn money this way? Did I really just hug a living dummy? So many questions!"

Flowey seems a bit startled by my sudden flip into rapid questions, but its leaf slapping my cheek shuts me up quick.

"Snap out of it! I'll explain everything. The box is a magic used by none speaking monsters so that they can communicate with others. It can even translate body movements and hand signals."

"That...makes some sense, I guess. So wait, the dummy was a monster?"

"Probably a ghost possessing the dummy. If a ghost finds a suitable body and their soul connects right, they can become corporeal like a living being."

"Oh my god, this place is fucking nuts!"

"What's nuts is YOU. I said FIGHT and you hugged it. If that were a real fight you'd so be dead."

"But it wasn't a real fight. So there was no need to attack."

"*grumbles* As for gold, most monsters will pay you depending on how you handle the FIGHT. And every FIGHT gives you experience. Whether it's good or bad, that is up to you. But judging by how you handle things, that's going to be experience in stupidity."

"Hey, it's like the sign said...Only the fearless may proceed. Brave ones, foolish ones. Both walk not the middle road. I choose to take the road less traveled."

"You really are an idiot."

"You know you love me."

"*scoff* There is another puzzle in this next room...I wonder if you can solve it?"

"Is that a challenge?"

I go into the next room and look around for the puzzle or its possible solution. The only thing I can see is this odd pattern on the floor. Definitely not a walkway. Could mean something else. The puzzle maybe?

"Ribbit! Ribbit!"

"Huh?"

"Look out!"

[Froggit attacks you!]

I feel something leap at my back and knock me down as my soul emerges. Then hops off to be in front of me.

[HP ████████ 8/20]

"Oh come on...Well, I can't really bitch about that. I did get fucked up in a fall and all."

"Focus, human. The Froggit already had its turn to attack. Now it's your move."

"Turn-based fighting and I have HP? Are you sure I'm not in a video game?"

"I don't even know anymore. Just do something."

I take a moment to at least get a look at my 'opponent'. Froggit's overall appearance is that of a large frog. I say large as this thing stands almost to my knees in terms of size. Only its two front feet are visible from this forward facing view, it's eyes are red, for some reason it has fangs, and has three black marks on its chest. Between its two front feet is what appears to be some small creature with red eyes that excessively blink and has a frowning mouth. I have no clue what strange ass frog this is, but if I were to make a guess, I'd think this is it's baby, attached mate, or just maybe attached sibling. I don't know. That's all I can think of at least. Because I really don't want to think of it as a mutant with two heads. I've seen enough weird mutant frogs online. Just when I'm about to think of something, more magic boxes appear before me.

[FIGHT]

[ACT]

[ITEM]

[MERCY]

"Hmmm...Let's try this one."

[ACT selected.]

[New options available.]

[CHECK]

[THREATEN]

[COMPLIMENT]

"I'll check."

[Froggit – HP: 20 ATK: 4 DEF: 5 - Life is difficult for this enemy.]

Well, that sucks. Maybe I can try something to make this easier.

[COMPLIMENT selected.]

"You know, I don't think I've ever seen a more awesome looking monster in my life."

I hold a thumb up to really sell it.

[You are intimidated by Froggit's raw strength. Only kidding.]

"*whisper* You look like a huge jackass right now."

"*whisper* Not now, Flowey."

[Froggit didn't understand what you said, but knew it was nice and was flattered anyway.]

Flowey is so confused right now but I go over and give the Froggit a little petting on its head.

"There, there, buddy. Heh...Adorable looking fella you are really."

[Froggit is grateful and feels bad for attack you.]

"Awww..."

"Really? All that over a compliment?"

"This world might be kill or be killed, but a little kindness can go a heck of a long way. Ain't that right, buddy?"

[Froggit feels happy and seems reluctant to fight you.]

"Thanks, buddy."

[MERCY selected.]

[New options available.]

[FLEE]

[SPARE]

[SPARE selected.]

[YOU WON!]

[You earned 0 XP and 2 gold.]

"Did...You really just win?"

"I call that checkmate, Mr. YesKill."

I let Flowey processes that for a moment, poor flower-boy looks as though I've blown his mind. After a bit more petting, the Foggit leaves and we head into the next area. Now I'm halted by a bridge that is covered in spikes.

"So is this the puzzle?"

"This is the puzzle, but..."

"Yes?

"I forgot how it goes."

"Eh...It doesn't look too bad. I mean, these things are pretty short. Plus I saw that weird pattern on the floor."

Just to be sure, I double back and check the pattern again.

"Got it?"

"Got it."

We go back to the 'puzzle' and walk through the spikes safely before making it to the other side.

"Tah-dah! Teamwork power!"

"Just how old are you?"

"You won't believe me if I told you."

"Try me."

"Twenty eight."

"Told you so."

"You're either lying or you're suffering from massive head trauma."

"Believe what you will, flower-boy. It doesn't bother me in the slightest."

We travel into the next room but for some reason my right leg stiffens up. I look at Flowey with concern, as it is the one helping to move that leg.

"What's wrong?"

"Shhh...Do you hear that?"

I listen for anything odd but quickly force myself to jump backward due to something I see. No more than a second later does a ball of fire suddenly hit the ground where we just were. Seeing this makes Flowey gulp in fright.

"Talk to me, Flowey. What is this thing?"

It's shaking like a leaf in a hurricane.

"I-I-It's...It's...HER."

All the way at the far end of the room, stands an ominous silhouette. I can't make out much, but what I do see is horns, glowing eyes, and fists of fire. This is not going to end well.

#undertale #underfell #OC #Lynsie #Sans #Papyrus #Gaster #Grillby #napstablook #mettaton #toriel #asgore #asriel #chara #frisk #flowey #grandpa semi #undyne #alphys #anomaly

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shewhowantsmouseears · 6 years

Text

The Son Of Scheherazade, 11

Notes: As always, big thanks to my amazing editors, Drucilla and BlueShifted! Their ideas are really going to shape things in the next chapter!

Some of you guessed right about our mystery lady, so good on you! And some of you might also remember this scene from an early storybit. Originally the first girl to go gaga over Goofgoof was a temporary OC, but I changed it to a fan-favorite from the Aladdin TV show.

Summary: In order to find his parents and uncover the mysteries behind their kidnapping, Mickey and friends have come to She Who Knows Everything. But there's a price to pay for this knowledge - and who is willing to make that sacrifice?

With things officially back on track, the ship and its crew finally sailed for the town of Maelumat. Goofy was happy to go, but Horace, Clarabelle, Panchito and José appeared to dread the visit, visibly flinching every time they heard its name. Whenever Mickey tried to ask why they were so despondent about this place, he was met with a long, long, long groan. Eventually he gave up, deciding that discovering what would be there would be half the fun. It was difficult to get depressed lately, as far as Mickey was concerned because Minnie was smiling more, and how could you not be happy with that?

He was still clueless that it was the revelation of his set boundaries that had made Minnie considerably cheerier. This wasn't to say she was skipping up and down the hallways and singing love songs, but she was slowly losing the glum, silent mask on her face. It was as if she was allowing herself to enjoy the little things, with tiny smiles here and there and sharing a personal opinion if she so wished. Mickey was thrilled to bits with this progress, and only hoped he could find out what had caused it so he could help her further.

So when the ship was parked at the town's borders and everyone filed out to the center of the boat, Mickey was in a good mood, Minnie was in a good mood, and Donald, upon seeing his two friends so happy, was also in a good mood. They kept on having a good mood even when Clarabelle dragged herself outside and moaned to high heaven. “Do we haaaaaave to go see her? I get wrinkles whenever I hear that voice!”

“There's gotta be a better way to hunt for information.” Horace slumped onto his wife, his entire body sagging. “I don't think I can handle another visit to this place.”

Goofy grabbed both of their shoulders and forced them to stand up straight. “Come on now, you guys are acting like she's some kinda demon!”

“I think I'd prefer a demon,” Panchito whined, not even having enough strength to lift his guitar.

“I say she's more like one of those beautiful sirens,” José's lit cigar drooped in his beak. “A gorgeous sight, but when you get too close, it's all over.”

Goofy clicked his tongue, heading towards the ropes and beginning to lower them over the side. “I hope you don't say that to her face! Mind your manners! We have no clues about where Mickey's parents could be, and she could be the only lead we have! So for Mickey's sake, behave! We'll be fine!” Mickey flashed him a thumbs-up in appreciation, and Goofy returned it, but then paused. “...Long as we don't accept her challenges, we should be fine.”

Mickey couldn't help but laugh as he approached the ropes. “I don't know about the rest of you, but this is making me want to meet her more and more! Should be another swell adventure!”

“Long as she doesn't try to swindle you, eh, Big Ears?” Donald teased, pinching Mickey's ear. “I may have been super sheltered, but you'll never catch me being outfoxed by a pretty face.”

Mickey swatted Donald's hand away. “Y'know, now that you said it out in the open, it's absolutely going to happen.”

“Is not.”

“Is too.”

As the childish argument commenced, Minnie was the last to climb down, giggling quietly. She doubted Mickey would fall for another woman's tricks like that, and it was an odd thing, having confidence in a master about something positive. Mickey was capable of many things, and perhaps he was capable of keeping her promise to her. It made her chest warm to think of it, to think of him, and when they were on solid ground, she eagerly dashed to his side.

“Is too times infinity,” Mickey tried to win the fight before talking to the elders. “So what's so bad about this place?”

“There's nothing wrong with the actual place,” Clarabelle explained as they walked, Goofy taking the lead. “But there's a bar we need to enter. And that's where she is...the lady of our nightmares. Whatever you do, do not accept her challenges.”

Mickey exchanged glances with Donald and Minnie, and each of them tried to imagine what this eerie woman could be like. Maybe she had powers over man and earth! Or maybe she was a ghost from times long since past! Or maybe she had thirty heads! Or maybe she had a horrible toe fungus! The possibilities were endless, and Mickey clicked his heels in anticipation. The sting from Lotus Blossom hadn't faded, but now he was sure it was a lesson he needed to learn. He would not be fooled again, and he would accept all troubles head-on!

In fact, Mickey was still fascinated by each and every thing he discovered out in the world beyond his kingdom. Often he would gaze out over the flying ship's edge and simply watch the scenery pass by. Nothing failed to gain his interest, not even today, when the grand sight before him was just a seedy bar in the armpit of a desolate town. There was nothing truly special about it, from the drab chipped colors to the tilted windows to the billowing smoke that escaped the front swinging doors.

“Aw, you'll really like this place!” Goofy chirped, hands deep in his pockets, his baggy clothes threatening to drop off completely should he misstep. “The folks here are super friendly, and the food can't be beat! Why, it's one of my favorite places in the whole wide world.”

“It certainly smells like the whole wide world's in there,” Donald grumbled, a hand over his beak. “Let's go in, get the details, and get out, okay?”

“C'mon, Donald!” Mickey chirped, pleasant as ever despite the aggravating aroma smacking his small black nose. “Think of it as another chapter in our story! I've never been in one of these places before, so it's going to be like making a landmark of a memory!”

Donald gave his friend a curt look, narrowing his eyes. “You know, not every new experience is a good one. You haven't been smacked in the head before. Want me to give you a landmark of a memory?”

Mickey playfully shoved his friend, who shoved back just as hard. Minnie rolled her eyes, though secretly she thought their entire friendship was quite adorable. They laughed and joked until Goofy strolled into the bar, which was when Horace suddenly stood in front of the rest of the group, blocking them from entering.

“Before we go in there,” Horace's voice became unusually serious. “You gotta know somethin' about the captain.”

Mickey tilted his head. “Whaddya mean, Horace?”

“I mean, you don't know everythin' about him!” Horace crossed his arms, his eyes lit with hard intensity. “For all of Sultana Scheherazade's stories, there's a big difference between listening to his life and seeing it right in front of you! What's beyond this door is something you won't see coming! It might change – no, it WILL change the way you see him!”

Minnie, Donald, and Mickey all stared with wide, startled eyes, but Clarabelle was rubbing her temples. “For gosh sakes, Horace...” Panchito and José quietly began to snicker.

“No, Clarabelle, they gotta know!” Horace stomped his foot, not allowing himself to be interrupted. “I wish someone had warned me way back then, but now I gotta live with it!”

The trio stayed quiet, uncertain what to do with this sudden twist. Mickey chewed on his bottom lip. He trusted Goofy with his life – after all, Goofy had saved Mickey from Pete's nefarious betrayal, and was helping him save his parents. But Goofy was also a sky pirate, and weren't pirates infamous for doing bad deeds? It was difficult to imagine Goofy doing anything remotely considered sinful, but Horace wasn't the type to pull gags like this.

“Is the whole 'goofy' personality just an act?” Donald murmured to no one, eyeing the bar doors. “I'm kinda afraid to look now!”

Minnie inched closed to Mickey. “Master?”

Mickey inhaled deeply – though he regretted it soon after, the stench of the bar was a powerful thing – and slapped a hand to his chest. “Stay close to me, Minnie, I ain't gunna let anythin' happen to you. But I've got faith in my captain Goofy! Whatever happens in there, we're in this together!”

Horace slowly stepped aside. “I hope you can still say that, after what you see.” After that, the rest of the group walked inside.

Unbeknownst to Mickey, this bar didn't look too different from most you'd find in other run-down cities. The wooden tables were lopsided, the music was too energetic for the lethargic customers drinking heavily, and there was a fog made out of pipe smoke. A few dancing girls were in a corner, using rainbow colored strips of fabric in their act. Mickey held onto Minnie's hand just in case, but he slowly noticed that the female to male ratio of the bar was rather heavy. He counted – there seemed to be eight women for every one man.

Goofy casually strolled up to the counter, lightly patting the counter once to get the barkeep's attention. “Howdy there, Sadira! How're you doin'?”

The barkeep – a dark-haired woman who had been washing a dirty mug – stopped what she was doing. “So...you finally showed your face around here...Captain Sinbad.”

“Aw shucks,” he replied, still smiles and sunshine. “You know you can just call me Goofy!”

Sadira slowly placed the mug down. Mickey grabbed the hilt of his sword, ready to pull it out if need be – Donald flexed his fingers, ready to test if he could finally use his powers to help, two or three hailstones of anticipation dropping near his feet – Minnie hid behind Mickey, holding her breath – Sadira looked at Goofy. “Does it really matter what I call you? All that truly matters is... How much I've missed you, Goofy!”

In that instant, all the females of the bar, be they customers, dancers, or waitresses, young and old, of all shapes and sizes – they all dropped what they were doing.

“Did you say Goofy?”

“Goofy's here?!”

“IT'S REALLY HIM!

“HE'S BACK, HE'S BACK!”

“GOOFY DARLIIING!”

In seconds, all the women inside the bar had latched themselves to Goofy, who had quietly taken a seat on a ripped apart love-seat. They clung to his arms and legs, exclaiming their sheer delight to see their wonderful, handsome, perfect Goofy again. Goofy merely patted their heads, saying he was happy to see them too.

Mickey, Donald, and Minnie had no words for whatever they were witnessing. Horace, however, had plenty, as he fell to his knees in agony. “Do you have any idea how many YEARS it took for Clarabelle to notice me?! Then I had to FIGHT to get her attention off of this...this...goofball! And everywhere we go, he gets ten girlfriends, JUST BY LOOKING AT THEM! I hate this guy!”

Clarabelle picked her husband up by the shirt collar. “Oh, knock it off, you big baby.”

“No, no, I think I get it.” Donald had to block his eyes with his hand, lest this ridiculous scene make him lose his temper. “I can't believe I'm jealous of a guy who can barely tie his shoes!” He looked to Mickey, expecting agreement, but Mickey was glancing back and forth between Minnie and Goofy – it was hard to tell if he was expecting competition, or wondering if he should seek advice about matters of the heart.

Goofy was oblivious to his friends' reaction, as he was politely declining kisses. “Now, now, ladies, I can't play around anymore. I only came by to get a little help for a friend of mine. See, I'm a married man now!” As proof, he removed his glove, and revealed a golden band around his finger.

Donald and Mickey shouted in loud unison, “You're married?!” and were instantly drowned out by the blasting chorus of wails from the upset women. They all began sobbing in unison, clutching Goofy even harder than before.

“Noooo!”

“Please say you're joking!”

“That's not fair!”

“Can't I be your mistress?!”

“Now don't be like that,” Goofy reprimanded the blubbering babes, waving a finger in disapproval. “She's a real nice lady! Classy too. Why, she's a chief's daughter.”

A flame lit in Mickey's mind, jarring him out of his stupor. “Wait a minute, I know that story!” He let go of Minnie, eager to paraphrase one of his mother's beloved tales. “Your ship landed on what you thought was an island, but it turned out to be a gigantic turtle! That's when you met the tribe of the moon people, and the chief's daughter had been kidnapped! So you fought off a race of fire-breathing mongrels to save her and get the turtle back on its original course! Then the chief thanked you by giving you a treasure chest of magic coins that doubled every time you opened the chest!”

Goofy chuckled, leaning back a bit. “Aw, your mom loves to exaggerate! It didn't go exactly like that...The island was just shaped like a turtle! The mongrels didn't breathe fire, they had torches! And the chest had regular old coins in it... Plus the chief's daughter, since she snuck in there. Turns out she took a likin' to me after I saved her. Who would've guessed!”

“Who would have guessed,” Horace repeated, ordering a stiff drink at the counter. Panchito and José stuck close to him to make sure he wouldn't drink heavily, quietly consoling him.

“Why are we only hearing about this now?!” Donald demanded, hopping on his feet. “This is something you say on day one!”

Goofy merely blinked. “You never asked.”

While Donald hemmed and hawed about that rather obvious reply, Minnie stepped forward, curious about a related matter. “Captain... If you're married, why are you out in the sky? Why aren't you home with her, and why isn't she with us?” Considering all the weird adventures she kept hearing about, part of her wondered if maybe the mystery wife was an invisible ghost haunting the hallways – at this point anything was possible.

“She's at home,” Goofy said, leaning forward and gently shoving back one barmaid who had been trying to fondle him. “Waiting for me. I visit her every once and a while, trying to get the last adventures out of me when I leave. She's the the next chief of her tribe, y'know. Her old man's getting, well, older, so she can't be away. Truth be told, I thought about hanging up my anchors for good... before Mickey's mother asked me to come.”

Mickey's eyes widened, and a snippet of guilt swung back and forth in his heart. He did feel bad that he was the reason Goofy couldn't go home to his beloved, but at the same time, that overwhelming curiosity about his mother's mysteries demanded to be answered. Why did she let Mickey believe Sinbad was merely a story? How did she know about all his tales if she only met him once? Why had she decided that on Mickey's fateful birthday it was time for him to learn what was real and what wasn't? He wanted to ask all of it now, but after Lotus Blossom's deception, he was trying when, if ever, it was helpful to reveal his true status in front of strangers.

“Oh, sweet, noble, silly Sinbad,” a voice called out from the small wooden stage in the back of the room. “Somehow I just knew that would be the reason... then again, I know everything.” That one voice caused Horace to down his drink in one gulp, Clarabelle to make sure the exit wasn't locked, and Panchito and José to cling to each other for security.

The silk curtains parted, and out stepped the owner of the bar in all her dramatic glory. Her long white hair was tied together in six different bangles, each one glitzier than the last, tossed over her shoulder to simply remind everyone how pretty she was. Mickey supposed she was pretty, the way Lotus Blossom had been pretty, the way art hanging on the wall could be pretty – he could see the appeal but not understand it or want to be around it for too long. Her face was heavy with make-up, almost giving the appearance she was wearing a mask and hiding her true intentions, yet her violet eyes were absolutely real and cutting deep. Golden armlets and bracelets clinked together as she walked, her flowing purple dress sashaying here and there. In her thin fingers was a golden pipe, emitting a wisp of smoke, decorated with the image of a small snake – it took Mickey three seconds to realize it was a real snake, perhaps a baby one, given its tiny stature. She took a puff between her yellow beak, exhaling a smoke heart after she was finished. “Greetings, one and all. I am Daisy Duck, madam of this lovely establishment.”

All the women previously lavishing attention on Goofy were now eager to climb over him in an attempt to get away from this woman, not that he minded. Goofy waved, the only person happy to see her. “Hiya, Daisy! Nice to see you again! How's everything been?”

“Ho hum, and fiddle de dee.” Daisy stepped off the stage, her purple high-heels clicking on the floor. Bar patrons scooted in their chairs just to make sure she wouldn't be near. “Boring, boring, boring. I swear, nothing is entertaining anymore! It's enough to make me want to lay in bed and never get up again.”

“Please do,” Clarabelle muttered, but not quietly enough.

Daisy smiled, lightly twirling her pipe in her hand. “Why, I've missed you too, Clarabelle honey! And you look ravishing, positively ravishing! Have you lost weight?”

Clarabelle looked down at herself, thrown off by the compliment. “Huh! Well, gosh, maybe! Thank you kindly!”

“Think nothing of it. I was just surprised, that's all... considering that chocolate stash you've been hiding from Horace under your side of the bed.”

“WHO TOLD YOU ABOUT THAT?!” Clarabelle screeched, eliciting a long raspberry from Daisy. The cow groaned, then joined her husband at the bar. “Never mind... she knows everything... Oooh, I hate her so...”

Mickey had a bad feeling about how this was going to end, so he decided to take the reins, stepping forward and bowing. “Thank you for seeing us, Miss Daisy.” It was only proper to introduce himself and some of the others, considering they were the newest additions to the crew. “My name is Mickey, and these are my friends, Minnie,” who also bowed in respect, “And Donald... Donald?” Donald hadn't moved since Daisy made herself known, a harsh blush taking over his bill.

The sunlight through the windows was now getting brighter and warmer, and Panchito and José grabbed handfuls of napkins to fan Donald down. That snapped him back to life, pushing them away. “Knock it off!”

Mickey ignored the potential teasing target to stay on track. “Anyway! We've come here to seek your help. Goofy's told us that when it comes to information, you can't be beat. And information is exactly what I'm lacking. Is it true that you know everything about anything?”

“Anything, and anyone,” Daisy replied, eyeing Mickey up and down, sizing him up. “There are few people in the world who know what I know, for there are few who have the gifts I possess.”

A light of hope dawned in Mickey's heart. “That's great! We could really use your help! We're looking for-”

“You're looking for your parents.”

“My parents, and-” Mickey stopped, now that he heard her. Did he hear right? He was positive he hadn't mentioned them being missing since they stepped into the bar. He glanced around to make sure – Minnie and Donald were equally befuddled. He looked toward Goofy. “Did you tell her...?”

“Nope,” Goofy admitted, only now looking a little worried. “Shoot, I didn't even tell her I was coming.”

Daisy chuckled darkly, enjoying the flickers of confusion she was causing. “Perhaps you didn't understand what our dear captain was telling you... I know everything. I know that our newest waitress has been flirting with the delivery boy. I know that three nights from now, a dim-witted robber will attempt to steal what we have. I know that back on the ship, your dog is going through your room to look for a toy. I know you're not some straggler looking for a little advice... You are Prince Mickey, the Son of Scheherazade, on a quest to find out who kidnapped your family.”

Mickey almost felt the floor give out beneath him. Whispers and surprised gasps fluttered through the bar about his parentage, and Mickey gulped audibly. How could she automatically know who he was by sight? Perhaps the situation about his parents had spread across the land, perhaps the knowledge that their only child had left to find them was getting across, but how could anyone know it was him? He wrestled with words. “I... I don't know what's going on, but if you know this much... do you know what happened to them? Do you know where they are?”

Daisy took a longer inhale of her pipe, and allowed the exhaled smoke to fall over her like a veil. “I know where they are, why there are there, and who took them there.”

Now Mickey stopped caring how she knew everything, because what she actually knew was far more important. “You do?! That's great!” He jumped for joy, grabbing his friends hands and dancing with them. “Did you hear that? She knows where they are! We can finally get on the right route and bring them home! This is fantastic! This is wonderful!” Donald ruffled Mickey's fur on his head, and Minnie squeezed her hands together in glee – but no one else looked as jolly. In fact, they appeared to be holding their breath, waiting for the other shoe to stop.

“Oh boy!” Mickey shouted happily, twirling around and getting right in Daisy's face. “Where are they? Where are they?” Daisy turned her pipe around and poked Mickey in the forehead with the pointy end. “OW!” Mickey yelped, stumbling backwards and holding his head. “What's the big idea?”

“I don't believe I ever said I'd give this information for free,” Daisy answered, and now the baby snake was leaving the pipe, slithering up her arm. “Not everyone's heart-strings are so easily tugged. Why should I give something for nothing? This is extremely valuable information. I hold the fate of the most famous storyteller in the world in my hands. What can you give me?”

Minnie frowned, crossing her arms and watching her master. Why was some storyteller worth so much? Since when did stories weigh as much as gold? “What a selfish demand...”

Mickey was hurt, but he found it didn't sting as hard as he thought it would. During this journey with his friends, he had discovered many greedy individuals. The world was full of them, it began to appear. He inhaled and exhaled deeply, not allowing his anger to surface this time. No, this was rational. “Right... all right. Don't worry, Minnie, this will be fine.” He faced Daisy, trying to show the wise, prideful manner of a prince. “Yes, we're prepared to pay. We have plenty of treasure to exchange, don't we, captain?”

“We sure do!” Goofy saluted, standing up and accidentally knocking over the last fangirl he had. “We've made lots of stops and hoarded lots of goodies! More than enough to keep any lady satisfied! And we're ready and willing to hand it all over right this minute if you can help my pal out. Whaddya say, Daisy?” He put his hands together, ready to beg – Mickey caught a note of extremely rare desperation in Goofy's voice. “Please? … No challenges?”

Daisy mulled this over, turning her pipe around and around, while the older members of the crew chanted “please please please” under their breath. Her eyes moved to every single member of the ship, and her eyes stayed on Minnie for an unusual amount of time before returning to Mickey, wickedly smiling. “You're a son who loves his parents very much... would you pay any price to know their fate?”

Mickey put his hand to his heart. “Yes, I would. Name it, and it's yours!”

“Wonderful. Hand over your lamp.”

All the pride and glory in Mickey died instantly, and his mouth opened in a long puff of noise, as if he'd been punched in the stomach. Minnie clutched her chest but didn't dare say a word, and Donald watched both of his friends in silent terror, his five-second infatuation forgotten. Mickey tried to breathe. “I, uh... you... you don't want this old thing!” He laughed nervously, pulling on his belt, trying to tug the lamp out of view. “It doesn't even work, won't light at all!”

“And yet you carry it with you wherever you go,” Daisy pointed at it, taking a step forward, causing Mickey to step back. “So clearly it has to be important. And the fact that you're so reluctant to let it go... it must worthwhile.” She held out an open hand. “Give it to me, and I'll tell you everything you want to know.”

“Just take the treasure!” Now the anger that Mickey had so easily quelled before came fast and hard, his fingers trembling. “Take everything on the ship, take every last coin we have, take the shirt off my back! You can have anything you want from us!”

Minnie felt her heart race as she watched him argue, even though she wasn't surprised by how vehement he was. Yes, by now she was certain he'd never let the lamp go before her freedom was won. But now what would the price be for his kindness? “Master...” Donald nodded solemnly, understanding what Mickey was thinking. None of the others seemed the least bit surprised by Daisy's venom, even disappointed Goofy.

“And yet, the harder you fight for it, the more I want it,” Daisy giggled, finding this all terribly amusing. “Oh, what a pickle we're in! But I think I know how to solve this. You see, there is something I desire more than anything else in the world... entertainment!” She snapped her fingers, the sound echoing. “That has far more value than any coin! So let's make this interesting!” With a cock of her head, she now seemed to be far taller than Mickey, looking down at him like a goddess from on high. “I challenge you to a game. If you win, I'll tell you everything about your parents... including what mommy dearest was hiding from you.” As she expected, this made Mickey stop, eyes so wide they threatened to roll out of his skull. “And if I win... I get the lamp. How's that?”

Goofy was about to warn Mickey to not accept any challenges from Daisy, but Mickey was far faster. “No,” he said immediately, not thinking it over for even a second. “I'm not going to risk it. If you're not going to tell me what I need to know, then we're done.”

Daisy tsked, cupping her beak with her hand. “Goodness, and that just makes me want it more. You really need to be careful about these sort of things, your highness. You won't even try to play? I doubt anyone in the world can tell you where your parents are.”

“We're done,” Mickey said again, quieter yet deeper, the chill of his words making the room feel colder. He turned on his heel, storming for the exit.

“Master!” Minnie called after him, and she ran to his side, grabbing his arm, “This might be your only chance! We don't have even have a clue where your parents could be, and-”

“NO!” Mickey's voice snapped out, grabbing Minnie by the wrist and holding her there. “We'll find another way! I am not risking losing-” “You”, he almost said, but managed to catch himself at the last second. With his rant broken off, he softened his hold on Minnie. “I made you a promise,” he said quietly in between large breaths. “And I am not going to break it. Maybe... maybe no one else out there knows what she knows, but I'll search the entire world first, look under every single rock, before I ever give up the lamp. My parents... they'd understand.” Mickey let her go, and resumed his walk to the door. One by one the others joined him, with Goofy sighing sadly, Horace commenting that this was actually one of their better visits, and Donald squeezing Mickey's shoulder in sympathy.

But Minnie didn't move. Her heart beat so loudly she could hear it in her big black ears. In Mickey's head, she understood, this wasn't a matter of deciding between Minnie and his parents. He believed they would find a way. But Minnie knew the dark ways of the world, that a mortal life could only take so much. The time they wasted in desperate search could mean the death of the Sultan and the Sultana. How much was he going to sacrifice for Minnie's sake? He was already struggling to restrain his affections, and now the very thing that put him on this dangerous quest... somehow he believed Minnie was worth all of this. Minnie didn't believe she was.

But she believed she could try to be.

Just as Mickey's fingers touched the wooden doors, he heard Minnie say, “My Master accepts your challenge.”

Mickey's heart jumped into his throat, making him choke before he could yell, “MINNIE?!”

Daisy clapped her hands once. “Is that right?”

Minnie marched to Daisy, glaring ice and hellfire at her opponent, jabbing her finger into Daisy's chest.“That's right. And he will win, and you will tell him everything about his parents!”

“Lovely, lovely, lovely.” Daisy clapped again, not intimidated in the least. “You had me worried there for a second that I'd be bored again!”

“What are you doing?!” Mickey cried out, now at Minnie's side and trying to drag her back. “Minnie, you can't do this! Do you understand what it would mean if I lost?”

Minnie refused to back down, meeting Mickey's eyes with full confidence. “If you really think I deserve independence... then it's time I do something of my own free will! Accept the challenge, and win! Don't give her any other choice!”

“This is not a good idea,” Goofy said from the back.

Mickey stared in wonder at the girl who had so much faith in him. He still didn't want to go through with this, but how could he deny her? He had told her over and over again that this was her life, and that he was not her Master. This was one of the few times in her life she had made a choice for herself, and Mickey could not take it away from her. Denying her this right would be just as bad as telling her what to do. He inhaled deeply in an effort to stop his thumping heart. This was the kind of trial heroes went through. Putting everything on the line for the right thing – he only hoped this was the right thing. He would have to make sure he won, no matter what. He steeled himself, straightening his back. “... If you believe in me, then... then I'll do it.”

“This is absolutely not a good idea,” Goofy tried again.

“Yeah, you can do it, Mickey!” Donald pumped a fist high in the air, lightning in his eyes and in his fingertips. There was nothing his best friend couldn't do! He'd defeated dangers far scarier than this! “Take her on and don't back down! We'll be behind you all the way! We're with you!”

“We're really not,” Goofy kept trying to insist.

Encouraged by his friends – and ignoring the unusually negative captain – Mickey held his head high, facing Daisy with courage restored. “Very well... I accept your challenge, Daisy! Bring it on!”

“A good spirit to have,” Daisy commented, turning away. “Return at sundown, and the game shall be ready and waiting for you. Do try to make it as interesting as you can... I'd hate for the fun to end so soon.” With a little laugh, she left the gang of heroes, retreating to a distant doorway in the corner.

Goofy sadly walked back to Minnie, lightly patting her head. “Well, it was nice knowing you, Minnie. Hope Daisy treats you well.”

Minnie swatted his hand away. “What are you saying? My Master will win, of course!”

“Yeah, she's right!” Donald agreed, getting annoyed. “Why are you so negative all of a sudden? What makes you think Mickey can't beat her?”

“Because,” Goofy finally explained, “Daisy can read minds.”

Mickey's confidence vanished so quickly he began to forget what it felt like. Minnie's jaw hung in a most unladylike fashion, and Donald's beak seemed to collapse in of itself. Mickey's tongue stuck to the roof of his mouth. “She can what?”

“Read minds,” Goofy repeated with a helpless shrug. “That's how she knows everything. And no one who has ever accepted her challenges has ever won... She can't be defeated. Shoot, she's not even the original owner of this place – the last owner accepted her challenge and lost. How can you win against someone who knows exactly what you'll do?”

“WHY DIDN'T YOU SAY THAT IN THE FIRST PLACE?!” Donald exploded, and a strike of lightning hit the roof, making everyone jump.

“You didn't ask-”

As Donald went on to throttle the captain, Minnie lightly tugged on Mickey's arms, now shaking like a leaf. “I, um... I'm sure... yes, I'm sure you can still find a way to win, Master...”

Mickey gulped. “That makes one of us.”

#disney #fanfic #the son of scheherazade #mickey mouse #minnie mouse #donald duck #goofy #daisy duck #clarabelle cow #horace horsecollar

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unplacedpodcast · 6 years

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Chapter Eight: Vindication (Transcript)

Sorry for the delayed transcript again! I had houseguests visiting and boy howdy having friends over for six days straight while also constantly doing things is exhausting and will fry your brain!

Here’s the transcript! We will be returning for season two but I’m not sure when - I would like to think March or April but it’s very likely that that is my characteristic overambitiousness showing through. In the meantime, I’ll keep you posted on progress, and if you have any questions (whether about the story/world or any of our processes behind the scenes), feel free to send them in - Cole, Brendan, and I are gonna do a Q&A episode during the hiatus!

Anyways okay without further ado here we go, spoilers ahead:

(CW for self-harm [not suicidal/depressed self-harm, but intentionally cutting a hand] and homophobic slurs)

(audio dings on, narrator sounds tired but wired - think sleep deprived meets way too much espresso)

I think it’s showtime, y’all.

I’ve been up for almost a day straight…I hope I’m not forgetting anything. I just - I couldn’t sleep. I was afraid if I went to sleep…I don’t know what I was afraid of. That I would lose my nerve, or that I’d have more nightmares about that woman, about not being able to help her.

At any rate, as soon as I finished doing my research, I went out and got supplies. I had to go all over town…I tell you, it’s harder finding iron nails than you’d think. (wry chuckle) Apparently there’s some kind of a market for artisanal blacksmithery, though, so I did find some eventually.

After all the research, my supply list wasn’t that long. Two or three things, really. I think it’s more of a matter of…well, just hoping it’ll work, than anything else. If it doesn’t…I don’t know what I’ll do. I don’t know if I’ll be able to get away. But I also don’t think that I’ll wind up a suicidal husk like that other woman. I could be wrong - but I think if they wanted to do that to me, or could do that to me, that probably would have been their game plan from day one. When I sucker-punched that thing with my hematite-knuckles, I feel like that would have been it for me, if sucking me dry was an option. Granted, given the burns still covering my hand, I’m not sure what the alternative is - but at least it’ll probably be quicker than that.

If this is gonna be it for me, then it’s gonna be it, and I…I’m not really fine with that, but it’s better than continuing to exist like this, not knowing what’s going on, not knowing how long it will last, just…having to watch these things eat people from the inside out and being the only one that knows it’s happening. I can’t do that.

(sound of things rustling in background, metal clinking on glass)

Enough of that talk, though. Like I said, I’ve got my supplies, and I’m setting them up as we speak. I’m on the edge of a park, close to downtown…it’s not a huge park, by any means, but I needed a tree, and this was the best way to have one near a populated area. I need to be able to make it back here quickly once I find someone with a leech, after all.

The trap itself…not that hard to set. I did have to do a whole lot of googling on macrame art, which was not where I expected this journey to take me. Also, the blood was a little difficult. Getting more than a drop or two of blood without seriously injuring yourself is a lot harder than they make it look in the movies. Oh, if only I’d listened to my mom and gone to nursing school.

Anyways…I think that’s it. The trap is set. Obviously, I’m the bait. Now, it’s time to find the prey.

(sounds of movement and walking in background, her breathing pattern changes as she’s walking until otherwise noted)

It’s funny, the stuff that comes to you when you’re sleep deprived and possibly on a suicide mission. I remembered this story - I had completely forgotten it, until something reminded me of it earlier - from when I was young…probably like, eleven or twelve. In that awkward early-middle-school just-hitting puberty stage of life, that spot where you feel like you don’t really know what’s going on with you or with anyone else, but you have this sneaking suspicion that everyone else knows, and they’re never going to let you in on the secret…

There was this girl that was my friend. We weren’t close, but we hung out sometimes. She wasn’t super popular, but she wasn’t unpopular, either. Our lockers were right by each other, though, so we said hi on a pretty regular basis.

I had to make a pit stop at my locker between classes, and she was standing there, but something was off - there were three or four girls standing around her, blocking her in. I didn’t like the way they were looking at her — I knew that at least one of the girls wasn’t very nice. As I walked up, I heard the conversation - they were making fun of her for the holes in her jeans.

This girl - Leanne - her family didn’t have a ton of money, and these other girls had decided to remind her of that. I tried to ignore the conversation for a minute - I didn’t want to get into a whole thing, and I wasn’t super close with her, like I said. Also, I had books to get and a class to go to. But after a minute or two of “seriously, how old are those jeans?” and tittering, I couldn’t hold back any more.

“Weren’t you wearing jeans with huge holes in them the other day, Emily?,” I said, poking my face around my locker door.

She turned to look at me. “Yeah, but they were Hollister jeans, okay? That’s different from miss head to toe Goodwill over here.”

“So…it’s cool to spend tons of money on jeans that are already missing half their fabric, but not okay to spend $10 on the same pair of jeans?”

Emily scrunched her nose up, clearly not having thought this through. “Well, when was the last time you saw her wear anything other than store brand, then?,” she said, jerking her thumb at Leanne, who was standing with her back against the lockers, silent and staring at the floor.

“You know that when you buy something with a huge logo on the front, you’re paying the brand to advertise for them, right? That doesn’t make any sense to me. But as my mom always says, money can buy you everything except for common sense.”

I shrugged and turned back around to my locker to finish getting my books. Behind me, Emily, the mean ringleader, kind of stuttured. It was pretty obvious that she hadn’t been expecting a response at all. Trying to save face, she muttered “whatever” and turned around to stomp off, with her friends following her.

I was so proud - I got rid of a bully with logic! I didn’t have to fight, or even raise my voice. But when I looked at Leanne, the pride evaporated. Her face was bright red and she looked ragingly pissed off. She took a step towards me, getting uncomfortably close, and said, loud enough for everyone around me to hear, “Stay out of my business. I don’t need your help, you fucking dyke.”

I didn’t know what that word meant then, but I knew it was something bad and dirty from the way she said it. My face went hot and I got that pricking sensation in my eyes, the one you get when you can feel the tears coming, but you’re trying hard to fight them off. I barely made it to the bathroom before I burst into tears, and when I got to my next class, it was obvious I’d been crying. I got to hear about that later, of course, from the mean girl and her friends, along with some other choice insults - a little birdie must have told them what it was that made me run to the bathroom crying.

(narrator stops moving for a moment, breathing starts to return to normal)

I’m here, I think. No convenient stairs around this time, but I have a decent vantage spot from this bench…I’m not that far from the park, either. Now, I just have to wait however long it takes to find a person with a hitchhiker, and then…goad it into chasing me, I guess.

(brief pause)

I told the story to my mom later that day, after I got home from school. I just wanted to know why, you know? I was so upset, because all I wanted was to do and say the right thing. I wanted to help…and I thought that was what I had been doing. But maybe I didn’t know what doing the right thing meant, or maybe I did it wrong.

I told her all of this, and she hugged me, and she said, “Rashida, you didn’t do anything wrong. Sometimes, the world is just a cruel place. And when it’s like that - when people are like that - the best thing we can do is try to help, and try to do what’s right, the best we know how. And that’s what you did. I’m proud of you.”

And then she kissed me on the head, and told me to go work on my homework, and I did.

I haven’t thought of that story in years. It’s funny - the stuff we do when we’re kids, before the world makes us forget who we can be.

I hope she’d be proud of me now.

(pause, deep breath in and slow exhale)

It’s probably…five in the morning now. Five thirty?

(sound of movement - she’s checking her phone)

Five thirty, exactly. The sun isn’t up yet…sunrise should be at 6:02. Can you imagine what people 200 years ago would say, if you told them that we’d be able to carry around tiny devices in our pockets that could tell us exactly what time the sun will rise and set?

The early morning commute crowd is starting to come out. My thinking was that someone here will have to be…yep. I see one. He’s across the road and half a block down.

(sound of movement)

Definitely showtime now. The only thing I need is… (sound of knife clicking) …more blood, because of course that’s what it takes. After all, why would we want to make it easy on me?

(sharp intake of breath, sound of movement)

I’m a few feet behind him now, with a bloody hand. I’ll tell you what’s going on as it happens - I set it up on my phone so that if I don’t edit and upload these files within a few days, they’ll be automatically uploaded and published anyways. Someone will know what happened, assuming people can even find and listen to this, and they’ll be better able to fight these guys in the future. So I gotta keep talking, keep telling you what’s going on, for the good of science and humanity, or something.

I’m right behind him. I’m going to see if I can flick some blood at the - yeah, that got its attention. It’s rearing up…I have to make it follow me.

(talking like you’d talk to a cat or wild animal) C’mere c’mere c’mere, you awful…

(starts running, you can hear the sound of movement/her breathing) Okay, that worked. It’s in pursuit - it’s following the blood I’m dripping on the sidewalk - I just have to make it back to the park - damn these suckers can move!

(sound of panting and running for a second or two, running sound changes from pavement to dirt, she trips and hits the ground)

Fuck, come on, get up, you can do this

(noises of her getting up and running/fast footsteps again)

Whew. I beat it to the tree, just barely. Now, for more blood, have to trick it… (sound of her fumbling with something, glass and metal clinking together again, then moving and brushing up against the tree)

(whispering) Okay, it followed me - it’s fifteen or twenty feet away. I was worried it would lose interest and go back to the host, but I guess fresh blood…these things must track by smell. I don’t think it can hear me, at any rate. I’m hiding behind the tree, and I set the trap.

I did all that reading on spirit bindings, right? You fill a blue bottle with something to throw it off your scent - hair and blood - and iron nails, I think to damage it.

I don’t know if it will work, it’s still following the blood trail - it’s moving a little slower, maybe because the blood isn’t as fresh. (whispering drops even lower) It’s checking out the bottle. It’s - yes, it’s going inside!

(muffled sound of movement, metal clanging on the ground, hissing in background)

(still whispering, but not as quietly) I think - it’s hard to tell, I think that did it? It went into the bottle - it started to come back out but I think it’s really trapped now.

After doing all that reading, I remembered I’d seen some really cheesy home decor made with iron horseshoes, which apparently has magical origins…when I was looking for the other supplies I hit up every tchotchke shop in town until I found one. I just dropped a circle of iron horseshoes on it - it was starting to climb out of the bottle but I think that extra iron did it in. It drove it back inside the bottle and…

(sound of movement again, sound of glass hitting metal and rattling noises)

THAT BITCH IS CORKED! Take that, you slimy asshole!

Okay, it’s still fighting, but I think it’s in there for good. Now for the bad macrame - a bottle holder made with twine, without any knots in it. That might not have been necessary, but seemed like a good extra step. Better safe than sorry, right?

And now, we hang it on the tree and wait for sunrise. It shouldn’t be long.

That wasn’t…I don’t want to say that wasn’t so bad…but once I knew how to do it, it wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be. Except that I didn’t know for sure whether it would work and thought I might wind up being evil-leech food.

I’m definitely a little worse for the wear. My hand that was finally healing from the burns has cuts all over it for this stupid blood sacrifice decoy, I bang up my other hand pretty good in that fall, and I’ve got some bruises…but…I’m alive. I didn’t - I honestly didn’t know if I’d get to see this sunrise.

Speaking of, here it comes. The sun is coming up, I can see it peeking over the horizon. It’s hitting the bottle…

(sound in background of rattling/glass on metal, animal shrieking/hissing noise that gets incredibly loud and then dies off after a few seconds)

Well, that definitely worked. The bottle… (sound of movement as she moves closer to the bottle and takes it off the tree) it’s empty now. Completely empty. No blood, no iron, no hair, no monster…in fact, it looks good as new.

I’ll be taking this with me…my lucky spirit trap. And now…now, aside from killing as many of these things as I can, I’m going to get some answers. I’m going to find her - the one who could see me. I’ll let you know how that goes.

(sound of audio clicking off)

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