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shadowbriar · 7 months

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Regulus Black - Supermassive Black Hole VII

Pairing : Regulus Black x (she/her) Selwyn!Reader Word Count : 4.6k Warning : Mention of food. Nothing else I think, just pure frustration from these to dumb children. Synopsis : A simple arrangement turned into an everlasting one as two naïve children try to figure out their heart. Notes : If you'd like to be tagged for the next chapters, please comment or reblog so I can add you to the tag list. If you like this story and would like to support me, please visit my kofi page and perhaps get me a coffee?☕ Taglist: strikethrough means I could not tag you. If I tag you by accident and would like to be removed, please let me know. @lostarc24 @hogwartshouse @milivanili99 @stelleduarte @40rimm @lilmaymayy @mischiefmanagers @happilyjollynacho @bl00dyr3gulus @lonelywitchv2 @burns-in-the-sun @lanaspepsicoke @rabluver @sofiacblair @jsjcue @coffeehurricanes @ell0ra-br3kk3r @when-you-cant-think-of-anything @kaz-mf-brekker @wokeupinaustralia @dreamalittledreamofthemarauders @lovemelikecrazyiloveyoucrazy @thisrandombitch @greenapplegrass @lothiriel9 @bunny24sstuff @starsval

↞ Part VI

Sweet.

The first thing Regulus noticed when his senses were coming alive was a sweet scent. The smell of warm florals with a hint of vanilla was intoxicating him. He keeps his eyes shut, wanting to have his smelling sense heightened. The scent was alluring, comforting in ways his dizzy mind could not explain. All he knew is that he wanted to stay forever in such a state, filled with the sweet perfume he’s grown familiar with.

Warmth.

The next thing Regulus could feel is warmth. Like his body was wrapped in a blissful embrace, tight enough to wash away every wary that has been plaguing his mind. The comfort it brings slowly mends each of his aching bones. He dares not to move a single muscle, afraid that such fragile delight would evaporate once he does.

Regulus lets out a sharp sigh when he opens his eyes. She was there, eyes closed and looking so peaceful mere inches from his face. Her chest was rising and falling at a steady pace. He could feel her arm wrapped around his waist as his own hand rested above it. With this close proximity, Regulus could only hope that the quickening of his heartbeat would not be loud enough to wake her from slumber.

He tries to recall the events that lead them to such a blissful state but the alcohol was blocking big chunks of his memory. He could only remember bits from last night. When he decided to get himself hammered and cleared the Greengrass’ stock of alcohol. He wasn’t even sure how he got back home. Did Sirius help him to get here?

Home. Regulus winces at the realisation of how neglectful he was being. He should’ve been the one to watch over her. He should’ve been the one to make sure that she was safe. Those are the least of what a good husband, and the bare minimum he should show in front of Rosier’s prying eyes last night, yet he’s done the complete opposite of it. Exactly how worse of a man can he be?

But in his defence, the night went quite heavily for him. Sirius knew about his feelings for her and it only made the guilt even heavier now. His selfishness feels all too real now that another soul knows about his deceitful sentiment. Added to the fact that he found her talking to Rosier, smiling and laughing at whatever sweetness Rosier tries to indulge her with. It was practically impossible for Regulus not to see red.

Letting out a disappointed sigh, Regulus thinks of a way he could somehow fix the state he’s in. Perhaps he could offer to go to that theme park again and use it as a means of apology over his reckless behaviour. Their so called date to the theme park last time was ever so brilliant it might even be his pass of forgiveness from the impulsive kiss he did last night.

Regulus’ eyes travel to her lips as a smile blooms on his face. He kissed those lips last night. The lips that he’s been thinking about for years, the one he’s been yearning to kiss once again ever since their wedding, the very lips he’s desperate to taste again.

But given the circumstances, how he’s sure that his breath must smell like piss and the fact that he’s got a whole load of explanations to give her, Regulus knew better than to hope for such a pleasant gesture to reoccur. There's only so much damage he could do before he lost her for good and he would never dare to gamble with it.

Before he could peel his arm off of her, Regulus was stopped by the tightening of her embrace, “Unless you have to empty the inside of your stomach, you are to stay in your position, Regulus.”

Her eyes were closed still but her voice was clear and firm, as if she’s been awake for hours. Regulus couldn’t fight the heat forming on his cheeks. How he realises that she was not asleep during the minutes of him gawking into her face like the creep he is. He could only pray that her eyes were truly closed and that she didn’t see just how much desperation he has on his face whenever he gazes into her.

But then another thought dawned on him. Her arm was still encircling his waist, pulling him closer than before. Regulus dares not to ask nor make any commentary about it, fearing that the moment he brought it up she would retreat and push him away. The fact that she’s consciously willing to hold him this close is setting fire to every inch of his fibre.

“I reek of alcohol.” He manages to say.

“That you do,” She says, sighing as she opens her eyes “But you’re warm, so you’re not going anywhere unless I say so.”

Regulus stares at her eyes, wanting to be completely drowned into her gaze. His heart was racing, trying to keep his emotions packed and collected. He’s never been this close with her, never been this vulnerable and intimate. He could see every little detail of her face. Her beauty marks, her freckles, her features, everything. And as if it was ever possible, Regulus has found himself falling deeper in love with her.

“You’re looking at me weirdly,” She commented, her brows knitted “If you say anything remotely offensive about my morning state I will kick you off of the bed.”

Regulus smiles lightly, “I thought you said you like it that I’m warm.”

“I do,” She sighs, snuggling her face to his chest “That’s why after I kick you, I’ll ask you to come back to bed and hold me again.”

He was sure now that she could hear the rapid beating of his heart. It would be impossible for him to hide it with her closely tucked to his chest. Regulus has never felt more alive than now, feeling the jolts of electricity to jump up and down his spine. The smell of her shampoo was intoxicating. He couldn’t help but to pull her closer, burying his nose to her hair and letting his senses explode with her magnetism.

She whispers softly, “Is this okay?”

“Yeah,” Regulus hums with a light nod “Yeah, this is okay.”

Regulus could feel her fingers drawing circles on his back, leaving invisible marks that he would kiss each night if possible. Everything feels surreal now. Like he was living all of the compiled pleasant dreams he’s had of her over the years. He sure knows not of what might trigger this, what he might drunkenly confess or do last night that made her welcome him with open arms, but he’s surely glad that it happened.

“Where did you go last night?” She asks, face still buried on his chest.

“I went looking for my parents and got sidetracked.”

“I can see that,” She says with a little chuckle “I’m offended you didn’t come and get me to join your little party.”

“Well you looked pretty comfortable with Evan.”

“Really, now?” She says with a raised brow, looking up to see his eyes with annoyed look.

“Do you like Evan?”

The expression on her face was telling for Regulus that he’s crossed a line he shouldn't thread with but his head was still heavy and the trace of alcohol left in his system does little to no help to keep his mouth shut. Better to do the worst damage possible now while he still has the alcohol as an excuse, he reckons.

She lays on her side now, resting her head on her arm as her elbow serves as support. She studies him, looking for any trace of jest on his face but there was only pure despair and agony that she wonders if she was reading him wrong.

“What is it with you and obsessing with me liking Evan?”

Regulus chuckles bitterly, “Believe me, knowing your answer would do the same damage as leaving me pondering for the truth.”

Her confusion only amplifies with his vague answer. Regulus still stares at her, begging for an answer. His hand now rests limp around her waist as if ready to retreat away if her answer wasn’t what he was hoping for.

“Does it matter what I feel for Evan?” She whispers, laying back down and pulling him closer “We’re married after all.”

She hoped that her answer would be enough to stomp whatever thoughts Regulus has in his mind. It doesn’t matter what she feels for Rosier, or whoever man in that matter, because truthfully speaking there has been no other man but him in her eyes. Shouldn’t the fact that they’ve exchanged vows for life be the only thing that matters now? She was his and his only, always.

But her assurance was lost in translation. Her answer only sounded as half a confession that she indeed had, or perhaps has, feelings for Rosier. And though she’s trying her best to ease his mind with her embrace, playing with the strands of hair that falls to his face, Regulus couldn’t seem to shake the underlying message he thinks she’s saying as it is engraved deep inside his brain now.

“I’m tired,” Regulus says instead, closing his eyes so he could stop the tears from escaping “Can I sleep for another hour?”

“Of course.”

“Will you stay?” He begs with a cracking voice “Please.”

There was a pause and Regulus struggled to keep his eyes closed, wanting to see what it is that she’s probably doing but before he could, he felt the bed shift as she lay back and rested her head to his chest, “I won’t go anywhere.”

—-

She could have sworn that it was just yesterday that she got off the Hogwarts Express and was escorted back home by one of her father's workers. It feels like it was just yesterday when she was forced to wear a wedding dress that isn’t really her taste and go down the aisle. It feels like it was just yesterday that Regulus kissed her at the altar, making her officially Mrs. Black.

Perhaps the fact that he’s been much warmer to her lately has made it seem as if time passes faster than it actually does.

Her sweet smile was blooming now as they walked down the busy alleyway of Diagon Alley. School starts in a few weeks and though they have pretty much all of their necessary kits for the upcoming semester, she knows that Regulus loves to visit the bookstores and get his hands on a couple of new books to bring to the castle.

“We don’t have to do this,” Regulus says, his face looking the least excited “I still have plenty of books I haven’t read that I could bring to Hogwarts.”

“I have some books I need to get for my potion class, this trip isn’t just for you.” She excuses, taking his hand and intertwining their fingers “You took Advanced Potion last semester, didn’t you? Any chance you could help me with my assignments?”

Regulus opens his mouth but before any words could leave his lips, he spotted Rosier and Crouch walking towards their direction, no doubt that they’re going to try and join them for whatever business they have here in Diagon Alley. So instead of answering her question, Regulus let go of her hold and shove his hand deep into his coat instead. Completely unaware of the hurt radiating from her eyes.

“Blacks!” Crouch greets excitedly “Fancy seeing you lovebirds.”

“Barty,” She says with half a smile “Evan.”

“There’s a long queue inside. I’ll get your books. You can wait here with Evan and Barty.”

“But—,”

Before she could give more words, Regulus already entered the bookstore and left the three of them alone outside. Sure the queue is long inside, it’s the start of a school semester after all, but it certainly is not enough of a reason to leave her alone with his friends, especially one who he’s been so worried about if she's having feelings for.

“Quite the gentleman, Regulus is,” Rosier mused, an impressed expression plastered on his face “Don’t you need to get the Divination book, Barty?”

Barty nods, excusing himself to get inside the busy bookstore and leaving her with Rosier. Once again completely unaware of the tension in the air.

Her eyes were still locked on the glass door, seeing the last spot she saw Regulus at before disappearing behind the shelves and crowd of people. Only twenty minutes ago was she certain that Regulus was opening up to her, returning the subtle affection she’s been trying to throw in his direction, but now she couldn’t help but to feel once again humiliated by her own expectations.

Regulus could switch from being the sweetest boy she could ever dream of to the coldest ice she’s ever touched in an instant. It’s like he has a switch in his head that he could flick whenever he pleases for whatever reason he deems worthy.

“Reckon they won’t come out for another half an hour,” Rosier says, trying to gain her attention “Fancy a cup of hot chocolate?”

“I’m fine waiting, thanks.”

Rosier pursed his lips, offering another suggestion that he’s not really excited to do, “Shall we go inside?”

She finally turns to face Rosier, seeing clearly that he desires not to enter the bookstore for whatever reason he might possess. A defeated sigh escapes her. Regulus’ act whenever it involves her and Rosier has been bizarre to say the least, but this would be the very first time he deliberately left the two alone. He’s always been the one trying to remove her from Rosier’s present, not to set the two together like this.

Hence for the sake of trying to understand Regulus’ motive, she shakes her head and forces a smile instead, “No, I’m good waiting here.”

A satisfied smile blooms on Rosier’s face, nodding in agreement.

There was a voice in the back of her head saying that she should just come in and look for Regulus, even when he might get all snappy at her for whatever twisted reason he has, but her feet were planted on the cobblestone. Perhaps it’s time for her to try and follow Regulus’ game instead of questioning each and every strange gesture he makes. Perhaps she could find the answer she’s looking for this way.

—-

“Excuse me,” A voice calls, making Regulus look down from the shelf he was scanning at “I was wondering where you got that Advanced Potion book from? I tried to pace around the Potion section but couldn’t find the one I needed.”

“Aquila,” He says in surprise before pointing at the direction where he got the said book from “It’s the third shelf from the Magical Creature section.”

The girl raised an eyebrow, “You know me?”

“I’m Regulus,” He says with a polite smile, offering his hand “Sirius’ brother.”

“Ah, right,” She accepts his hand with an even brighter smile “The grey eyes should’ve told me who you are.”

Regulus smiles once again.

“I didn’t know we needed that many potion books for the term.” She comments again, pointing at the stack of books on his hand.

“Oh, you don’t. You only need the ones Slughorn listed. I just took some reference books I thought might help for the course. I know they did wonders for me last semester.”

“Those aren’t for you?”

“No, these are for my..” Regulus gulps a little, a kaleidoscope of butterflies forming in his stomach “..wife.”

“Ah, Selwyn, right?” She muses “Where is she?”

“I told her to wait outside while I get the books. The store is crowded enough.”

An amused expression now visible on her, “Is your brother this romantic too?”

Romantic. Is that what he tried to do when he left her outside with Rosier? It certainly wasn’t what he had in mind when he entered the bookstore in a hurry, not wanting to spend another second witnessing Rosier yearning for her and what might possibly be the same sentiment she shares. The vague answer she gave a few days ago is still haunting him.

Regulus was already tormented enough knowing that he erased all possible chances of her being with someone better fitting than him, but he never really put much mind that that man might be Rosier. He has always been so convinced that Sirius was the one she has feelings for, that Sirius is the man she’s hoarding affections for, but now that Sirius told him that it wasn’t him, Regulus has to look back on all the interactions she and Rosier exchanged over the years.

Sure her laugh was never as loud as when she was with Sirius, but Rosier made her laugh still. She had no rejection when he pulled her for a hug that day of her birthday and she’s always been so worried about their ruined friendship, asking questions after questions about what happened between him and Rosier and in hindsight the chance that Rosier might actually be the person she fancies feels plausible now.

“Regulus?” Greengrass calls, placing a hand on his arm to snap him out of his thoughts “Are you alright?”

“Splendid,” He says with a smile, squeezing her hand a little in assurance “I should get going. I hope you find your books.”

Regulus walks himself to the cashier in a hurry, completely unaware of a pair of eyes watching the interaction that’s happened. If only he could get his head out of the knotted threads of worries, he would’ve seen the hurt from the eyes of the woman he loves.

—-

The trip back home was quiet. Too quiet for either of their liking but none dared to break the stillness. The questions running in each of their heads were too heavy, suffocating their lungs that it feels practically impossible to gasp for clean air. Each step away from Diagon Alley only fuels their near-to-implode heads with unanswered possibilities.

What did she talk about with Rosier?

What did he talk about with Greengrass?

Their hands were cold in the pocket of their coats. Fingertips itching to reach for each other but neither made a move. Afraid to be the only one craving for the other’s touch. Afraid to be the only one thirsty for the other’s affection. Afraid to be the only one in need of the other’s love.

“I just remembered,” Regulus finally says, stopping their pace on the side of the road “I need to get some quidditch equipment. My robe is torn from the last match.”

“I can come with you,” She offers “If you’d like.”

“No, it’s alright. I’ll be just fine going alone.”

“Regulus,” She finally creaks, taking a hold of his arm before he could slip away once again “What’s going on?”

Regulus’ brows knit, “What do you mean?”

“You’ve been trying to avoid me all day,” She reasoned, her disappointment bleeding through her words “Don’t think I didn’t notice. Did I do something wrong?”

“What? No! I— I just—,” Regulus runs a hand through his hair, clearly frustrated over things he couldn’t share “You did nothing wrong. I just— I just thought it would be too much of an effort for you to walk back to the shop when we’re already halfway home.”

Her eyes study him. There was honesty and vulnerability in his explanation but the creases on his forehead tells her that it wasn’t the full explanation he owes her. That something greater, more gruesome and complicated is still haunting him. It pains her to know that he still couldn’t be as nude with his thoughts with her, even after all the progress they’ve made so far, but she knew better than to push him. She could only hope that her patience would last longer than his stubbornness to keep things to himself.

“I want to come,” She says, this time with more insistence “If I did nothing wrong and you’re not avoiding me, then I see no reason for you to tell me to go home. I want to come.”

The corners of his lips turn upward, “I never said I wasn’t avoiding you.”

A flash of hurt tainting her face, “You really were avoiding me?”

“Yeah,” He jests, shrugging “You reek of cheap perfume. Did Barty rub himself all over you?”

“Piss off.”

She rolls her eyes, laughing slightly as she circles her hand around his left arm. Regulus smiles at the touch, feeling victorious somehow that she’s been more confident with their intimacy. If only he could let go of that treacherous pride and initiate more of their close affinity.

“How come you never joke about Evan the same way you joke about Barty?” She asks as they begin their walk back to Diagon Alley.

Regulus sighs, feeling the bliss of their close proximity to deter a little, “They have a different history with me. Barty never accused me of treachery.”

“I’m sorry,” She shows an apologetic smile “I hope you two can figure it out one day.”

“Highly doubt it,” He chuckles before letting go of her hand, only to rest his arm on her shoulder and place her hand to his waist “Couldn’t care less about it, either.”

“You always say that but make a huge deal out of me talking with Evan.”

“What, a husband can’t be jealous of a man talking to his wife now?”

Her cheeks turn rosy. Could that be it? Could all the anger Regulus show whenever she’s with Rosier stems from jealousy? Could he actually be jealous that she was talking to another man?

“Since when are you this much of a tease?” She asks instead, nudging on his rib “Who are you and what have you done to my reserved, tranquil husband?”

“Oh he’s around, don’t worry about him.”

She smiles, letting Regulus pull her closer by the shoulder.

Times like this, she wished she could put in a bottle to admire at night. Moments when Regulus would show her a side of himself she’s never seen before. The person in him that is playful, full of tease and is unafraid to return the affection she tries to shower him with. Salazar knows she’d kill to have this version of Regulus forever.

“What did you talk about? With Rosier when I was in the bookstore?” Regulus asks, trying to mask his jealousy with a casual tone this time “I saw Barty entering the shop not long after I entered. Must be some interesting topic to talk about to have you planted out there.”

“Nothing,” She says truthfully “Nothing important worth remembering.”

Regulus hums, forcing a smile though it’s obvious that he wasn’t satisfied with her answer.

“What did you talk about with Aquila?”

He raised an eyebrow, “You saw that?”

“Well, quite hard to ignore when you two were standing feet away from the gigantic window.” She says, this time being the jealous party of the two “What did she want?”

“She only wanted to know where to get the potion textbook from,” He explains “Just some questions about potion class. Nothing special.”

She hums this time.

She could feel that Regulus was telling the truth, that Greengrass was only asking him for the potion textbook, but the truth hurt her still. The sight of him smiling at her, the faint hint of rosiness on Greengrass’ cheeks, all of it burns in her head like a cursed image.

She tries to recall if they ever had such lovely interaction before. If Regulus ever looked into her eyes, let alone smiled at her, when they talked, but all she could gather was an empty void. They have never interacted as pleasantly before their marriage. Even now she still thinks that most of his tender gestures were of formality, to quiet down the wandering eyes and whispered questions of others that would see them. To know that he could have an organic delightful exchange with a woman he was supposed to marry haunts her.

“Regulus,” She calls again. Her eyes glued to the cobblestone, unable to meet his eyes “Do you remember that deal we made in the library? About our fake dating?”

“Yeah, what about it?”

“Does it still apply? With our current condition?” She questions with an uncertain tone “We agreed to call things off if either of us started to catch feelings. Is there any way to call things off now that we’re married?”

Regulus blinks, trying to digest her words with his best ability. His feet have stopped moving, making her to finally look up to him now. It was never easy for him to read through her, but her question now has unlocked a new level of confusion.

What could she possibly mean? Is she telling him that she’s starting to catch feelings for him? Shouldn’t that be a good thing for him to hear? But why would she follow her questions with finding a way out of their marriage? Is that what she truly wants?

“I.. I don’t know.” He says at last.

They stare into each other’s eyes for a few moments, trying to find the answers they both are looking for. If only they would just spill the words that have been trying to burst out of their lips, if only they would push aside their pride for a minute, if only they would just listen to the silent cry of each others’ yearn, they would’ve found their answers.

But they were just children. They were just two naive sixteen year olds who thought that they'd stripped each other off of their rights to find their true love. They were just lost souls hoping for the other to be their soulmate.

“Do you want it to be?” He whispers, fear and hesitation bleeding through him “Do you need a way out of this?”

Her heart was beating faster now. Does she want it? Does she need a way out of this marriage? No, the answer would certainly be no. But would she be able to bear the guilt of preventing him from meeting his true lover? Would she be able to forgive herself from stealing his happiness? To stop him from being with someone who could’ve been a better pair for him?

“I don’t know,” She answers “I just— Nevermind.”

She tries to have them continue their pace but Regulus is still stuck on the ground, feet seemingly melting into one with the cobblestone. His eyes were still vacant, looking as if he’s just got his soul sucked out of his body. It wasn’t a good look for others to see but her questions have taken him so off guard that he couldn’t even gather the power to collect himself.

“Is this about Evan?”

“What?” She asks, appalled at his question “Why does everything have to circle back to Evan?!”

“I don’t know, because we were talking about him and you suddenly asked me this!”

“We weren’t talking about him, we were talking about Aquila!”

“Yes, but we were talking about Evan first, weren’t we?!”

The answer was laid bare now for them. That he was distraught about Rosier while she was insecure of Aquila, but neither of them were listening. Neither of them wanted to stop and look around. Too busy trying to untangle each other’s cryptic words to realise that their closure was right before their eyes.

“You know what, forget I asked. Forget I even said anything, okay? Can we just move on from this?” She says with an exasperated sigh “We need to run before the shops close.”

Regulus clenches his jaw. Without a word, he begins to move his feet. The two of them now continue their walk back to Diagon Alley, once again in an uncomforting silence and an even wider distance than before.

#regulus black #regulus black x reader #regulus black x you #regulus black x oc #regulus back x y/n #regulus black scenario #regulus black scenarios #regulus black imagine #regulus black imagines #regulus black angst #regulus black fluff #regulus black fanfic #regulus black fanfiction

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billfarrah · 2 years

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I can’t talk enough about how important and well-executed the locker room fight in episode 4 was, and how necessary it was to flip the dynamic between Wille and Simon in this way.

Up until this point in the season, it had only been Wille reaching out to Simon and continuously getting rebuffed. Wille has been the impulsive one - an emotional open wound - saying some very not fair things to Simon because he’s incapable of processing his hurt and coming to terms with his loss. He doesn’t reflect on his behaviour or actions and he doesn’t listen to Simon’s request for space. This begins to change in episode 3 - it starts with Wille acknowledging that him losing Simon was his fault, the first instance of him reflecting on his behaviour and taking responsibility. His mistakes aren’t over yet, though - as it finally hits him that he has perhaps lost Simon for good, and desperate to feel something, he kisses Felice, which was very selfish and out of line. At this point in the story, if this behaviour continued, it would be very easy for the audience to pull away from Wille completely and stop rooting for him. But the writing rightfully uses this situation to have Wille actually finally fully reflect on his actions - acknowledging the reason why he kissed Felice and how selfish and wrong it was for him to do that - and use this as the moment he decides to finally listen to Simon and let him go. Most importantly, he’s not only doing this for Simon - he’s doing it for himself too. He doesn’t want to keep hoping when he feels there is none. Wille still has his moments of impulsivity as the season goes on (that ending) - he can’t change completely overnight - but it does mark the start of him reflecting better on the decisions that he makes and how those decisions affect other people.

Moving onto Simon, up until episode 4, Simon had very much been in avoid, avoid, avoid mode. He’s incredibly hurt by Wille’s actions and the leak of the video and he deals with that by trying to forget. He keeps his distance yet he can’t help but still be concerned for Wille (him going to the principal to try to get her to let Wille stay, him being upset at how sad Wille is over him hanging out with Marcus). Simon tries to be thoughtful while still trying his best to stay away and move on. Until episode 3, it feels like Simon could genuinely like Marcus, but when he realizes it’s not working, he does do the right thing and tries to break things off only to be gaslit by Marcus into continuing to see him, which Simon very, very passively agrees to. Simon has never used Marcus to make Wille jealous at this point; when Marcus kissed him after the rowing match, Simon was very uncomfortable with it. In fact, I think that was Marcus’ nasty ass trying to lay some kind of claim on Simon in front of Wille.

My point is, if Wille continued to be an emotional basket case and Simon continued to be thoughtful, if a bit misguided, the audience would potentially begin to support the relationship less, and that’s why their role reversal in episode 4 is so damn important, to show that Simon is not perfect and Wille is not toxic, nor is he bad for Simon. In fact, episode 3-4 works to show that it’s actually Marcus who is bad for Simon, not Wille. That’s why when Simon is listing all the reasons why Marcus is the better option for him, he ends up listing reasons that are all perfectly applicable to Wille (liking his singing, accepting him for who he is), and Simon is forced to acknowledge that the real problem isn’t Wille being a bad partner to him, but rather Simon not accepting Wille’s role as a prince. It’s a rude awakening for Simon to realize that he has had just as much of a role in keeping them apart as Wille has.

Another important role reversal in this scene is Simon instigating a confrontation with Wille. Up until this point, it had been Wille instigating their interactions. This scene mirrors episode 2, another scene where Wille and Simon are alone. Simon is minding his own business, when Wille instigates a conflict between them - “I don’t understand how you can just not care.” In episode 4, the opposite happens - Simon walks into the locker room and Wille doesn’t engage with him. He just continues getting dressed, then Simon instigates a conflict with him - “Would’ve been nice to have a heads up about Felice… really nice to hear about that at lunch.” It’s petty and hypocritical and Wille rightfully calls him out on that. In episode 2, Simon walks away from the conversation. In episode 4, Wille walks away.

In episode 2, Wille is the one chasing after Simon, who is trying to let go.

In episode 4, Simon is the one chasing after Wille, who is trying to let go.

These interactions serve as a way to ground and equalize their relationship. The fact is they’re both traumatized teens dealing with their broken hearts in the only ways they know how - they’re in love with each other but are too wrapped up in their own torment to see each other’s point of view. It’s through these role reversals that we see their feelings for each other are equal and that they are both capable of being messy and petty. And most importantly, we know that no matter how messy they get, their hearts are pure and they’re trying to learn and grow, and that’s why we continue rooting for them until the end.

#young royals #wilmon #i rly struggled writing this lol #i hope my point came across well #things I think about on my commute to work

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blakeswritingimagines · 3 months

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Dating Cole Caulfield Would Include:

Well, he's really devoted. He's very romantic, a bit mischievous, and really loves taking care of you. He likes to think he has a great sense of humor and he's a great listener. He knows he can be a little protective at times, but I think it's just because he cares so much.

He's very passionate. When he cares about something, it's all or nothing. When it comes to a relationship, he wants to be all in and he wants to make sure that he's doing everything he can to make his partner happy. He wants you to feel supported and cared for.

He's really attentive. He loves showing you how much he loves you through small gestures and just being present. He's a little impulsive, and He loves spontaneity in a relationship. He's the type of guy who would surprise his partner with flowers.

You see, dating him also means dating someone who enjoys being very passionate in all regards. It means spending time with someone who enjoys making you smile, and who loves being with you, regardless of the circumstances. That being said, let's just say he's a good time.

He's very loyal, I would say. He's always there for you and you can count on him to be there for you no matter what's going on with him. He'd do anything to make you happy and I don't think there's a time that he wouldn't put you first.

I'd say he's a very open person. He's very comfortable sharing his thoughts and feelings, and he always makes an effort to be transparent with you. He's happy to talk about pretty much anything and he values communication in a relationship. He's also really big on physical affection, he likes to kiss, cuddle, and just be in close proximity to you.

I'd like to think he's a real gentleman on a date. He likes to open doors for you and make sure you're comfortable. He likes going to nice restaurants and really enjoying the meal. If you're going out for the night, maybe something a little more laid-back like a movie or concert, or even just a nice stroll through a park.

Jealousy can be an issue sometimes. He's not proud of it and he's working on it, but sometimes when he sees you getting attention from others, he feels a little possessive. He knows it's an insecurity issue and he works through it. He trusts you and you trust him, but he's human and sometimes these emotions take over.

You both know leaving is part of his life as a professional athlete. It is a little tough when he has to leave you behind, but he always makes sure to call or FaceTime as much as possible while he's away. He knows you have such a strong foundation between you and he trusts her completely. It's hard, but you both always make it work.

He likes the idea of you coming along during roadies. It's not something he's thought much of, but it would be really nice if you could join him on the road sometimes. The season is extremely long and a little extra support while he's traveling always means a lot to him.

The one thing he hates about being a public figure. He sees his partner as this amazing person who deserves nothing but support and love however if you were constantly being brought into the spotlight. He feels a little protective. He hates it. It's one thing to criticize him and his game. He's learned to deal with it, but when it's directed towards you, it really pisses him off. You're just his partner and if it comes down to it he'll keep your relationship private as much as possible.

He loves getting you gifts. He tries to find things that you'll like and make you smile. He'll buy you flowers, your favorite candy, a random piece of jewelry, or a little token that shows you he's thinking about you. I would say he's a really thoughtful gift-giver.

He doesn't ever like fighting with you. He tries to always be open and honest with each other and nothing's ever really been an issue. He wants and enjoys always addressing any issue that comes up. He just feels so comfortable with you like he can be himself around you.

He loves it if you're really understanding about his busy schedule. You'll have to go into it knowing you don't always have a ton of time together, but never resent him for it. Always being supportive of each other and make sure to encourage one another.

He's a pretty easy-going guy, so when you want to do something, he usually goes along with it. He likes doing new things with you. He just enjoys spending time with you and making memories together.

Besides being really close friends, you'll also have amazing physical chemistry. You're always touching each other and flirting practically drawn to each other, and there's never a dull moment. It's like fireworks every time you're together, and it keeps things exciting and fun. Whenever you're alone, you can't keep your hands off each other, and that's the best kind of relationship to have.

He enjoys going and doing new things like going on hikes and exploring new places, seeing live music, watching movies and shows together, trying out different restaurants, and even cooking at home occasionally. He also likes taking you to festivals, concerts, and street fairs.

He might not show it, but he does get pissed off when people even mention you on the ice during games just to get into his head. He's not the only one who has to deal with the criticism, he knows you do too. And he thinks it isn't fair to you because the only thing you did was date him.

It's a relationship that means a lot to him. You're his support system and really make each day worthwhile. You have an incredibly strong foundation and that allows you both to get through anything that is thrown your way. It's been a really incredible experience and he feels blessed to have you in his life.

He loves getting his kicks from pushing boundaries with you. One of his favorite things is to tease and deny you for a long time before finally letting you have your release.

Even though he has a bit of a wild side, he also enjoys indulging in some more "tame" kinks from time to time. For example, he loves giving you a massage (using plenty of oil and pressure).

Sexting is one of his absolute favorite forms of communication with you when apart from one another – it allows him to stay connected with you. He loves sending dirty messages, pictures, and videos of himself doing all sorts of kinky things to get your blood pumping and imagination running wild. And if he receives responses from you – whether it's a picture, a video, or simply a message filled with your own dirty thoughts and ideas – it's like a little slice of heaven for him.

He also loves giving spankings - both light and hard ones depending on the mood he's in - as well as smothering you with kisses and loving bites during these play sessions.

Another one of his favorites is marking, biting lightly on sensitive areas like the neck or earlobes before moving on to more intense sensations.

#cole caufield #cole caufield x reader #cole caufield x y/n #cole caufield x you #montreal canadiens #nhl x reader #nhl fic #dating would include

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the-rocket-scientist · 2 months

Text

BIG NEWS. YOU BETTER READ THIS ONE!!!

Sorry for the long letter. This is me writing for awareness and my thoughts on the recent event! Also an apology letter due to my long hiatus, sorry to all those 20+ requestors waiting!! :,(

If any of you were up to date then you probably noticed the Alex Kister incident. There were victims, and there is evidence exposed by the victims.

In a very basic nutshell he was a weird person. I'm putting that in the nicest way possible.

In a plain nutshell he showed signs of predatory behavior towards minors and other people alike. I'm putting that in the most factual way possible but still trying to be relatively nice and mellow.

For the long story here is the twitter post that leads to a google document that shows screenshots of what happened in very specific manners. You don't have to read them all, but skim through for the general context.

Here's the thing.... I was slowly moving out of the fandom, trying to focus on my life and my personal projects. However, as soon as I saw this, it was about time I moved out of the fandom. I'll still be writing! But for now... hiatus. It's very ironic how Alex Kister said he was uncomfortable with his characters and the alternates all represented sexually in smut fics and other fanart, when he... probably liked the attention? Felt complicated about NSFW of his show? I will never know.

When the actor of Jonah was fired for controversial events that he perhaps caused due to the obvious conflict between Gabriel Linan and Alex Kister, he had uploaded a screenshot that proved how rude to Alex Kister he was. But the screenshot didn't seem to have anything wrong with that or had offensive content... not that I know. Humans are complex and unpredictable. They could be hiding something and taking things out deliberately that show their true nature. That doesn't mean I support either of them, nor will I degrade them. I will never know unless in full truth, and that is very hard to discover. I don't want to act out impulsively on emotions, I want to act with my mind first. Think before I judge. So I will wait until the testimonies are proven to be somewhat accurate to be true.

(This is the link from Linan's final statement before he had left X/Twitter. If the link is inaccessable, that's weird. It doesn't work for me too, but I swear just a year ago it still worked...)

But despite this I cannot help but feel that Gabriel Linan was trying to help with Alex Kister's mental issues that have been prevailing for a long time (which is what he said in the apology letter), but to keep the reputation he had been fired from keeping the news spreading more. Then yet again, these are just predictions and doubts, that doesn't mean they are confirmed to be real.

There is a quote I heard from somewhere, but I don't know who said it or how exactly it was worded. And I'm glad to see that although there are people who act out on emotion instead of waiting for the truth to unravel more, there are people who support the creation itself rather than the creator. So for the moment I am supporting the fandom, but I am also supporting the victims, and my respect for Alex Kister has gone a little down. It is also ironic that he would do this when he said he was a Christian (from what I heard last time), but the actions he did were considered sinful and immoral in the Bible. I may not be the best devoted believer in Christianity but believe me, it is considered a sin. Perhaps he is no longer a Christian, which I respect. I wasn't up to date with anything happening in the TMC fandom after all until recently.

So to spite the respect because of the betrayal we all feel?

Smut requests might be going to be soon opened on a separate book.

You heard me right.

I no longer feel uncomfortable with NSFW content and I am now willing to try to take a step further in enhancing my writing, to a variety of contents. HOWEVER. The key word here is MIGHT, I may not open the book for who knows how long. But in the end, the truth has been revealed and why do all content creators I admire have to be one of the kinds of humans that have the most strangest immoralities.

Alright. R_Sci out. Sorry for the long hiatus, had lots to do and had lots in mind.

Stay safe, everyone.

#mandela catalogue #the mandela catalogue #mandela catalog #tmc

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heretherebedork · 10 months

Text

First things first: both Asuka and Shu are really bad communicators but for very, very different reasons and it creates a very interesting dynamic that is hurting both of them right now and I find it fascinating but also a bit frustrating.

Shu, having seen Asuka's little plan with his friend, is now sure he's being cheated on and is working off that assumption in his communications with Asuka while Asuka has no idea what he saw and thus no way of knowing why he's getting this reaction.

Asuka is just very bad at communicating. He's disorganized, tends to react very quickly and without thinking and, when he realizes he needs to think about his actions and words, tends to overthink to the point of inaction. He is impulsive and quick both to be rude and to apologize but he misses the moment so often because he's caught up in his emotions.

Shu is bad at recognizing his own emotions but also at any form of open sharing. He tends to speak in metaphors and assume that the people around him think the same as he does and will understand what he means even when he says something that only barely implies it. He tried to show his love for Asuka by insisting he study alone not knowing how much that hurt him and now he's in a situation where he thinks he's being cheated on and cannot even begin to find the words that aren't a complicated metaphor about architecture.

A brash and quick young man who switches between rude and desperately apologetic and an older man who speaks in metaphors and indirectly because he believes that everyone understands his meaning is... rough. And we've been seeing that all along. Shu might typically understand more of what Asuka is saying because he's more direct but it also means that he takes that directness in a way Asuka doesn't mean.

They are constantly unintentionally hurting each other because they're not speaking each other's languages.

I love Asuka and Minato's friendship because they're both less mature characters in relationships with someone with very different communication and love language than they have and they are direct contrasts to each other in that regard. They both lash out, making assumptions and try to act on them and unintentionally hurt the person they love through either action or inaction.

Asuka lashes out and Minato takes everything said or done very seriously and neither of them knows how to handle it any other way.

This is an interesting scene because Shu overhears two students talking about a cheating boyfriend and relates it to his own situation and it makes sense because, yes, that's the assumption you make when you see your boyfriend say he's going out with a girl. So, of course he's decided that Asuka was cheating on him. But we, as an audience, know that that this is an impossibility and not what happened.

But we also know how much Shu withholds from Asuka in their relationships under the idea of how he loves. He pulls away from their date because Asuka doesn't reach their agreed goal, he leaves their studying because Asuka wants to hold his hand and gets distracted. Shu cares for Asuka but his way of showing love is also actively hurting Asuka. Asuka momentarily faked a relationship to support a friend and that hurt Shun but we've also seen how lonely Asuka has been within this relationship.

Honestly, it's fascinating to me to see how upset Shu is by this without being able to express himself or seemingly to truly recognize what he feels.

The only direct communicator in this show is Shin.

Let's just call back to Asuka saying the exact same thing to Shin about his relationship with Shu a few episodes ago! Well, not the exact same thing but the same idea of not knowing what to say or how to talk about it.

Shin is the only person who regularly talks to both sides of this relationship but he doesn't know enough to give any real advice to either of them nor is he interested in that. While Asuka often finds himself giving advice and asking for advice, Shin doesn't tend to ask as much because he's mostly uninterested in anyone besides Minato, frankly.

Shu does not communicate directly. He does not say things like 'I was cheated on and I'm hurt and I don't know what to do'. He quotes an architect because he overheard his students talking about a similar situation and it reminded him that these things happen but also that they hurt and he doesn't know how else to show that pain.

Shu, who is the one who entered this relationship because Asuka said he wanted to be at his side. Shu, who was the one who held that their original relationship was entirely fake because for him it was. And now he's suddenly found himself hurt and aching and wondering what's going on because he does care about Asuka and he wants this relationship and he doesn't understand what's going on or why he's reacting so strongly or how to describe it at all.

And then Asuka waiting for Shu because he won't answer his phone or his texts, standing outside his work and waiting but then unable to do anything because Shu's attempts to explain his upset come across the same as his enthusiasm.

(Also, Shu is specifically talking about the Sagrada Familia which is an unfinished Catholic church that the aforementioned architect worked on and I know nothing about any of that but I do find it interesting that the work is specifically unfinished just like their relationship is still under construction.)

But this is just more of their specific brand of miscommunication, in which they each misread the other person's emotional state or needs in the moment and then never take the chance or get the chance to clarify because they leave before the question can be asked.

Darling, you're both idiots.

This is the first time that Asuka has been the one to pull away from Shin. Normally he's the one running up to him and grabbing him but this time Shin approaches and he pulls away. He saw Shu and Shin together the night before and now he's trying not to be hurt or to express that hurt.

Asuka is friends with Shin but he also knows that Shin is his very reluctant friend. Both Shu and Asuka need advice on their relationship but neither of them knows how to ask or even, frankly, what to ask in order to figure that out. Asuka lashes out at Shin in this moment because he is hurt by Shun but especially hurt by seeing Shu talking to Shin when he refuses to speak to him.

There is a wall between Asuka and Shu and it is formed by their communication skils or lack thereof.

It is good to see that Asuka chases Shin and tells him about the moment with Minato. He cares about his friends, he really do, but he doesn't handle his emotions calmly or in a straightforward way. He might have told Shin about his conversation with Minato but I bet he didn't bring up Shu.

Asuka is desperately jealous of the relationships that Shin and Minato have because it is, truly, his dream relationship. For all the isseus inherent there Asuka just wants to be able to love and be loved in his own language. But he is not as straightforward as Shin and Shu is not Minato and until Asuka pushes himself in the relationship he has or decides to change... nothing can happen.

Now, this is going to force something but the question is... what will it force? Asuka doesn't know why Shu has pulled away or is calling him a liar and Shu isn't willing to speak to him. They need to communicate but they don't have any idea what they need to communicate so they can't even begin to get started.

The problem is that the first step in communication is talking thoughtfully and they have tripped at that first hurdle and are currently burying themselves in the mud.

I need to know who Shu is talking to and I am worried about Asuka because he just doesn't cope well with stress and has no idea what's going on because their communication is so bad.

... I just love them, okay? I really do look forward to their eventual actual communication that will likely happen accidentally.

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riddle-me-ri · 2 years

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Hello! I'm sorry to hear someone took their problems out on you, that's never okay. I hope you feel better soon.

You mentioned writing BTAS Penguin and BTAS Riddler and being open to taking requests so here is mine.

How would they react to a time traveling distant descendant that just shows up, hangs around a bit, does something small and leaves, seemingly randomly. Sometimes they just show up and they have lunch together, sometimes the pop in just in time to keep a office plant from falling over, then leave immediately.

I hope you like this enough to write it but if not I still hope you have a better day.

A/N: awww thank you so much! I work in retail so I'm used to it most days, but everything builds up eventually. I'm much better now thank you so much for the support, I appreciate it! This was such a neat idea I wasn't sure if I could pull it off but it was too fun to pass up. I hope I did your idea justice!

BTAS!Penguin w/ a Time-Traveling Descendant:

Oswald would be taken aback at first. The poor guy has been lonely for so long (we don’t mention Veronica) and ostracized from Gotham’s elite. The only one he had in terms of a family was his mother. The odds of a descendant look rather bleak for the gentleman of crime.

However, when he finally saw them there was no denying the strong features they had similar to his own. From the stark onyx hair and the slight peak at the end of their nose.

Could it really be? Oz finds someone to have a family with? To continue the Cobblepot bloodline?

He has so many questions, who does he meet? What becomes of the Bat? W-Will he ever be accepted into high society?

This descendant will have to stay vigilant to not cause a time paradox, but they have to admit it was nice to see a smile on his face.

Oswald enjoys it whenever they visit for tea time or to share a small lunch together. As much as Oswald wants to know what happens to him, he is aware of the consequences, and he would hate for something to happen to his descendant.

Oz smiles whenever he catches them straightening a painting that’s gone crooked without his notice. One time Oswald almost knocked over his prized emperor penguin sculpture but they were there to catch it. They set the marble sculpture of two penguins joined at the beak. They sent him a thumbs up and a wink before blinking back to their time.

No matter what happens, Oz sees contentment in what’s to come knowing that whatever decisions he makes from now on, they won’t entirely be in vain. They lead to this charming and kind individual somewhere down the line, and he can’t help the swell of pride he feels when he thinks about them.

BTAS!Riddler w/ a Time-Traveling Descendant:

If Oz’s descendant has to be vigilant, Eddie’s descendant has to be steadfast, strong-willed, and stubborn as a bull.

Is this a metahuman ability of yours? Have you solved the ever elusive conundrum that is time travel and the properties of time itself? Of course, that’s possible if you’re his descendant, he is a genius after all…so it’s not out of the realm of possibility.

Edward’s questions have zero bounds. If anyone is aware of the consequences of time jumping it would be him, but he’s willing to risk it sometimes for just a fraction of an answer to the riddle that is the future.

Once his descendant threatens to leave and not come back, he concedes…a little. Can they at least share some new-age riddles? What do you mean no?

Ed challenges his descendant to all sorts of riddles, brain teasers, and puzzle toys. If you’re the descendant of the Riddler they shouldn’t be an issue. Right? (They mostly aren't but it's partly because of their intellect and part because everyone knows the answer to most of these puzzles by now...but don't tell Eddie that)

He enjoys it whenever they visit. He rarely makes connections with people despite how charismatic he is. It’s difficult for him to develop something real (that’s not impulsive or obsessive…looking at you Batman..) but he feels a connection to them that’s totally natural.

Albeit he may not always admit it, Edward enjoys their abrupt assistance just in the nick of time. They’ll blink in with that microchip he lost hours ago. They’ll stop by and pick up the pencil that rolled off his desk. Edward will throw away a blueprint only for his descendant to catch it mid air and hang it up on the wall before leaving with no explanation.

His descendant serves as a reminder for him that he does leave a legacy. His genius doesn’t die alone with him but lives on to keep learning and stay bright in his brilliant descendant.

#dc comics fanfiction #batman the animated series fanfiction #btas penguin headcanons #btas penguin fanfiction #btas riddler headcanons #btas riddler fanfiction #headcanon requests #ri writes

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relentless-endurance · 7 months

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4, 7, 19 and 29 for Nature's Weave pls

thank you for indulging me because i have BRAIN WORMS

4. Does this change over time? What will always reliably make them melt with how much they adore the other character?

Its the little things for Zalia, those are the things that will always soften her. The small gestures and considerations, especially when it comes to her traumas/triggers. Those especially, even.

For Gale it is the fact that she loves the parts of him he does not, that he would sooner discard. The things that he thinks would turn her away, she embraces as readily as the rest of him.

7. Do they (or would they) pursue the other character’s affection, and if so, how? Do they tell the other character how they feel? Try to earn their admiration? Woo them with romantic gestures? Flirt with them, skillfully or otherwise?

They did but took different approaches. Zalia is quick to own her desires, and even her feelings, but opening up is a difficult thing. The moment they shared at the party (context: when he shares the magic trick, you can select an option to visualize kissing him, and that is. the one i picked) was an impulse, and I think if given a second chance she would have approached it a little more thoughtfully. That being said, she sort of said fuck it and just. Was straightforward about her feelings from then on.

to her credit, she did try to be more. flirtatious about it, but she had so little experience with traditional courting that it just. always came off very straightforward, which, for a man willing to admit watching you murder things is hot in front of the GODS and everyone, still flustered the shit out of him.

and Gale he. Gale he - okay. aside from the (romance spoilers). He's a romantic at heart so his side of the dance was a lot more. Skillful, all things considered. But beyond that again - its the little things. Its the patience and understanding. The things that ended up being the most romantic for her were just. Showing extra consideration for her comfort and sense of safety.

this is word vomit does this make sense?

19. Are they okay with public displays of affection? Do they like them?

In spite of all her bullshit, Zalia genuinely is. She doesn't ever take things too far, and really intimate or serious stuff she prefers privacy for, but otherwise she does not give a fuck who knows or who sees. At least not by act 3!

Again Gale was willing to admit in front of god and everyone that watching her fight was hot so I think that speaks for itself, though I think he maintains similar boundaries to Zalia's, and is mindful and attentive of hers regardless.

29. What compromises are they making in their relationship?

(Stares into the middle distance as I think about Gale's personal quest and sob). For real though, I think for Gale it does come down to what happens in his quest, but particularly acknowledging that what he had with Mystra was deeply fucked. Cause like yeah okay getting over an ex is one thing, but admitting that you were taken advantage of and that it was not a healthy thing at all is. Another. He had to confront it.

For Zalia specifically, it was the learning to trust but particularly the learning to just open up. She had to let go of the idea she was the only one who could protect him (and also the others, mind, this is something she had to compromise for them too) from whatever wrath she'd incur from her past; she had to accept that she needed help and support if she ever wanted to end that cycle.

hope that made sense

#asks #replies #sunlian #nature's weave #katie plays bg3 #Zalia Vaylun #its like 3am so this is a lot of word vomit im sorry

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eternalwritess · 24 days

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I think… It's time for romantic matchup? XD Hazbin Hotel, please. Sorry for the grammatical errors or/and misprints, if there are any, English is not my native language. May I ask to exclude Valentino, Adam, Lute and Niffty from the list?

Gender/pronouns: she/her, he/him, they/them (I am genderfluid. Thus, my preferred pronouns change)

Sexuality/preference: demisexual. I can be attracted to any gender, but maybe I prefer boys more

MBTI: INTP

Temperament: choleric-melancholic

DnD alignment: Chaotic-Neutral with Chaotic-Good tendency

Personality:

I often become the voice of reason in situations where everyone around is too emotional and acting impulsively. I also take a calm and thoughtful approach to problems and try to think about and analyze them neutrally and without unnecessary emotions. This quality helps me help someone find a solution to their problems, or at least support them emotionally. I have a high thirst for justice and I have a moderate empathy for others, and I can take action to help someone. I am careful not to open up to people right away, but study them well before doing so (although this has a negative side in the form of my extreme distrust, but I will write about this later). Despite my laziness, I can be full of inspiration and enthusiasm for things that interest me and very quickly learn something related to the subject of my interest, or direct my enthusiasm in a positive direction. I have a courage and independence, which I "charge" others with. I also have a sense of humor that my friends like (although some find it too vulgar). I am caring and attentive to those who are dear to me, and I try to act for their comfort. Loyalty to those I care about is also my strong point. I consider myself an optimist, but I also take into account the real facts.

People quite often really annoying me with their emotionality and a lot of different misconceptions that are in their minds (I deal with this very often, unfortunately). Against this background, I often look down on those around me, although I do not show it. This sounds a bit hypocritical against the background of the fact that irritability and short temper are also my traits that I (sometimes) find difficult to control. I have very big problems with trust, it's not easy for me to open up to others. I rarely show my real emotions, even to those with whom I am close, and try to appear calm. Another problem is my laziness and procrastination. I'm very sarcastic with people I don't like, or when I'm just in a very bad mood. I also have moments of low self-confidence. And finally, sometimes I get jealous. I have a fear of doing some things wrong combined with perfectionism, which may make me afraid to do something (for example, write a text) not well enough.

My life and mind are very chaotic - I have a habit of changing plans quickly, and for this reason I try not to make plans even for the next day.

My love languages: words of affirmation and physical touch. I can tell my mate a lot and often how much I love them, reminding them of this more often, I try to come up with pleasant affectionate nicknames, and I realy like praise them! I can compliment their positive traits to cheer them up and boost their self-esteem. Usually my affectionate nicknames are words that I associate with this person in a good way. I also often hug my mate and stroke them. I really like hugging. I have no problem with showing affection in public, and I even like to do it.

Hobbies: I am good at writing texts and composing stories, I like to come up with the plots of my stories and make their text pleasant to read. I also like to draw, but it's harder for me than writing. In drawing, I prefer to use a technique, that is, a drawing tablet with a screen, rather than paper and pencils. I also like to spend time playing video games and reading books or watching some movies and anime (my favorite genres are related to fantasy and science fiction... And when it comes to video games, I prefer RPG). I also like to study things related to my interests - astronomy, psychology, birds, reptiles.

Pet peeves: Well, I think the full list of such things would be too long… So here are some that I managed to remember. All of them are somehow related to the invasion of my personal space (for example, when someone stares at the screen of my phone or laptop and comments on what is there) without my permission. I also don't like being distracted from something I'm very focused on (for example, when I'm writing a text, and it's at this moment that someone suddenly wants to chat with me for no important reason). I am also annoyed by people who believe that they know everything and cannot make mistakes, and will never admit their mistakes.

Other facts: I have a fickle and confused sleep schedule (sometimes I sleep more than 16 hours, sometimes less than 4 hours, because I have short insomnia). Perhaps I have autism (at least self-diagnosis and self-observation have shown this). I don't understand social cues and hints well, and it's better for other people to tell me about their feelings directly (however, I can learn to understand how a person feels if I study their character well).

𝕐𝕠𝕦 𝕙𝕒𝕧𝕖 𝕓𝕖𝕖𝕟 𝕞𝕒𝕥𝕔𝕙𝕖𝕕 𝕨𝕚𝕥𝕙…

𝓥𝓸𝔁!

How you met? Yeah idk just go with it :)

Your voice of reason is much needed. I know how sometimes it seems like Vox is the voice of reason in the V's but uh... yeah no when Alastor gets involved he'll get straight up petty

Keep him in check will ya?

You being calm and analytical probably attracted him. He probably found it hot or smth-

"So how are you gonna deal with this one sweetie?"

Once he realized your thirst for justice he immediately kept you away from Val and Velvette knowing that you wouldn't like them all too much

Vulgar humor? Yeah he wouldn't mind. He'd join in

Once Vox realized you were studying him he probably found it fun, like a game and it reminded him of Alastor

"You've got your eye on me don't you?"

Contrary to popular belief I don't think that Vox is too emotional. He has a tech boy vibe about him and doesn't tend to be overly emotional. He has his more pitiful moments sure but honestly he's not as bad as some other characters

As for looking down on people... he needs an ego check. Go crazy

this is all im gonna do sorry-

#match up #hazbin hotel #matchups #matchup #hazbin #hazbin hotel matchups #hazbin hotel matchup #hazbin hotel match up #hazbin hotel match ups

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howtosingit · 3 years

Note

I think TK and Carlos really will be such great fathers too!!! Carlos will be so soft and nice, that parent that pushes your hair off your forehead and kneels down to talk to you, and every time he looks at you all you can see is adoration, and TK would be so attentive and caring, the parent that plays pretend with you and will pick you up and spin you around when he’s the monster, running purely on the spite of his own father’s shitty parenting and his insurmountable love for his family

Carlos has this really incredible way of being gentle but honest, tough but fair. I'm thinking of the way he speaks to TK during the 1x03 police station scene; even when he's upset, he's not lashing out, he's not attacking. But then he's also an incredibly understanding person, willing to listen, willing to forgive, and also willing to give advice without being demanding or forceful. Those are all truly wonderful qualities for a parent to hold inside of themselves, and I think the way that Carlos approaches conflict and the way he shares his own insight is going to make him a truly incredible father. He makes people feel safe, he doesn't judge, and I could not imagine a child not feeling like they could come to him whenever they need him.

And I agree, I think TK would find parenting to be a little scary, just because of his own upbringing, but with Carlos I think they would create a very different household. He would know what he needed and wanted from his parents when he was younger, and he would do everything that he could to provide that for a child of his own. Their home would be full of love and support and so many fucking hugs it would just be the best place on earth. I really, really hope we get to see it before the show comes to an end.

#asks #anonymous #tarlos headcanons #like I'm literally thinking of carlos saying 'I'm not trying to be your boyfriend'#and the way he ducks his head to make eye contact with TK - almost chasing him so that TK sees how serious and non-judgmental he is #I just think it's such a real impulse and shows how open and supportive he is #and a child would feel so secure with him #plus all the other scenes we have of him and TK having difficult conversations and how they navigate through them #I think they will be truly incredible parents #brian talks

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from-the-clouds · 2 years

Text

Thinking of a Place (Part VI) - Kendall Roy x Reader

gif by @televisionchronicles

Summary: You adjust to life after leaving Waystar.

Words: 3.7k

Warnings: Alcohol consumption, mentions of addiction/drug abuse.

A/N: All flashbacks are in italics. Thank you for your kind words on the depressing last part. I know I left a few of you standing in the rain waiting for an update so here it is! Kind of uneventful, but shit is about to get real! As always, I appreciate feedback and comments of any kind. Thanks for all your support <3

The news about Kendall got much, much worse. For weeks the cycle went on, and despite your attempts to avoid the coverage it seemed inescapable. From what you saw, he was in a worse place than you’d ever seen him before. It was possible the media was just sensationalizing it. Maybe it was Logan, ensuring his downward spiral got so blown out of proportion that Kendall’s reputation would become forever tarnished, and he’d have trouble finding any semblance of success. But you weren’t in the inner circle anymore, so you had no idea what was real.

The sight of him so downtrodden and lost in his addiction should’ve made you feel vindicated after what he’d done to you. But it didn’t. It only made things worse. You still wanted to help him. You still wanted to see him happy, see him do good things.

In a moment of weakness, you contemplated calling Shiv. You needed to know how Kendall was, how he really was. But as your finger hovered over her contact, you snapped out of it, clicking away and putting your phone down. She was too smart, and would flag it as weird. Plus, in order to move on, you couldn’t do things like that.

You muted his name on all your socials, all the websites you frequented, and kept your head down passing newspaper stands. After about a month had passed, you stole a glance up, and the stories were gone. The news cycle decided to exploit someone else, and you heard nothing of Kendall anymore.

It helped you quite a bit, and you began working to create a life away from Waystar. Stewy reached out to you, put you in touch with the right people, and before you knew it, you had a new job, doing in-house legal services for an advertising firm. It required much less time and energy, and no emotional labor at all, which was the real selling point. You went to work, looked at contracts, flagged potential issues and pointed them out to executives and creative directors. You would work through the problems and then go home for the day. Then you went home.

You actually had time to yourself, to sit and think. You weren’t so sure about it at first. It gave you a lot of time to think about Kendall. So you had to find ways to fill the time with other things. You started cooking yourself dinner more often, rather than eating leftovers while hovering over the sink. You went to yoga classes and read books in a hammock at the park by your house. You let new friends invite you to parties, to see bands play in seedy bars, to stumble into a club well after midnight on your way to get drunk food, only to find they were hosting a drag show. It was a side to the city you’d never gotten to see, you actually felt like a normal person. This job never made you cancel plans to stay in the office until the early hours of the morning, or suddenly pack your bags for a last-minute business trip to another country.

All the distractions worked. It was enough to convince yourself you were moving on. With that came the guilt….it felt a little bad to move on. Were you supposed to? The impulse to reach out to Kendall, while diminished, was still there. Even if it was something as simple as sending him a trailer for a ridiculous new reality show you might’ve made fun of together, or the menu to a restaurant that specializes in handmade ravioli, one of his favorite foods. How could someone mean so much to you, and then nothing at all?

— — — — —

You opened the door into the small room, in the bowels of some news studio in eastern Europe. Hell, the past few days had been such a blur, you weren’t entirely sure what country you were even in. You’d simply been following orders, though you had no idea what you were walking into. Or how you were even here and why. After sticking next to Kendall through the bear hug, you’d been prepared to be fired from Waystar.

But instead, Gerri had called with orders from Logan. You’d been asked to escort Kendall home to New York. Maybe you had just been demoted back to his glorified babysitter.

“Hey,” you said, closing the door behind you.

At the sound of your voice, Kendall perked up. His back was facing you, but he peered over his shoulder, still slouched over the table in front of him.

The room itself was small, windowless. It felt more like a jail cell than a green room, but for some reason played a perfect backdrop for the situation at hand. Kendall had vanished sometime the morning after the bear hug. According to Gerri he had been sent back to rehab. Everyone knew he’d been using again, but you didn’t realize how dire the situation was. And maybe that wasn’t even the entire truth, considering he’d been pulled out of the facility less than 48 hours after he’d arrived.

Kendall didn’t answer you, just turned his head back towards the wall in front of him, lowering it down again to return to the position you’d found him in.

“I’m here to get us back to New York,” you said, stepping forward tentatively.

“Uh-huh,” Kendall answered, nodding after you gesture to the empty chair across from him.

Facing him, you had direct exposure. Dread rolled off the man in front of you, you could feel it even though you could barely see his face, hanging low towards the table in the dim light.

Wearily, you glanced over at the door to ensure once more it had been shut, and that you were alone. Brewing in the air was a tension so thick it was suffocating, words laid dead on your tongue as you studied him carefully. And still, he didn’t meet your eyes.

Finally, you speak up. “So…..what happened?”

Kendall didn’t answer. Instead, he continued to stare at the table in front of him, his hands clasped with one another.

“Ken?” you asked him, leaning in slightly, and his eyes flickered towards you for a split second. “Did you hear me?”

He nodded after a moment, sniffing, wiping his nose and clearing his throat, tilting his head upwards. He looked tired, so tired, dark rings hanging around his eyes, cheeks sunken, skin pale and pasty. Whatever had happened, he was clearly going through it. “Yeah, I uh, saw my dad’s plan, and, uh…it was better,” he stuttered.

You weren’t even sure if that was the answer to the question you were asking. Karolina had made you watch a recording of the broadcast before you could even get to him, so you couldn’t help but roll your eyes at the sound of the sentence he’s repeated over and over to any news outlet that’s asked him. The Roy’s were never ones to be honest with the public. But to you? He should’ve known better.

“Yeah right, but like….what really happened?” you answered. He remained silent.

You waited another beat before speaking again. “What’s going on, Ken?” Slightly paranoid, you leaned in further, lowering your voice. Your hands worried about the edge of the table. “We had everything planned out.”

“I told you,” he repeated. “Dad’s plan is better.”

“Okay,” you said, sitting up, genuinely curious. “How is it better?”

“Will you just fucking leave it?” His voice was loud, the most gruff you’ve possibly heard it, one of his hands smacked against the table to punctuate the sentence. But finally, he looked up to meet your gaze. All the venom was in his words, but on his face was nothing but dejection. A failed attempt to try and convince you he was angry even though his absent eyes couldn’t seem to decide where to land, flitting away from yours almost instantly, terrified to connect with anything. “I know what I’m doing.”

“I’m sorry,” you flinched, nodding. He clearly didn’t trust you enough to be honest. Maybe it was better if you didn’t know. If this was what he wanted, you had no skin in the game and would conform. But for his sake, you knew the bear hug was his best shot to get what he wanted, and now it was gone. Didn’t he understand that?

You had to get out of this room. It was suffocating. “Well, let’s get going, then.”

Kendall shrugged, but moved to stand slowly. You remembered something. “Oh,” you said, rifling through your messenger bag. “You forgot this.”

Unceremoniously, you toss the slightly crumpled navy blue baseball cap in front of him. He’d left it behind in the room you Stewy, and Jess had been holed up in during the wedding. And even though he could probably buy a thousand new ones, perhaps even someone as rich as him might understand what sentimental value was.

Kendall sighed, and exhaled sharply through his nose, the weakest chuckle you might have ever heard, trying desperately to sound alive. But then, he was on his feet, grabbing the cap and standing alongside you.

“Yeah, let’s go.”

— — — — —

Mail tucked under your arms, briefcase slung over your shoulder, you stepped over the threshold of your apartment and hung your coat on the hook behind your front door, dumping all the stuff in your arms on the kitchen table.

It had been a late night. A solid five months since you had left Waystar, and your life had changed drastically. After work that day, you’d gone straight to a small showing of your paintings at an art gallery. Not that many people showed up for you, as there was a bigger artist being spotlighted, and you didn’t even really have a great collection considering the chaos of your life the past few years. But you were finding time for it more recently.

It had felt good to pick a brush back up, one of the things you’d decided to do in your new age of self-discovery. At first all the paintings were all grim, muddy landscapes in hues of grays, and browns. Deep rivers and pools, waves rippling and foaming, swirling into sorrowful eyes. You were in your dark period, you joked to yourself in hindsight. Over time, they began to brighten up. Pink, the color of the neon lights in the dim hallway where the guitarist of some band pressed her lips to your jaw, hand around your waist. Orange, the color of the sunset peeking around the harsh lines of the scrapers jutting up outside the windows of your apartment.

In the course of your life, you’d mastered none of all the little hobbies you tried to pick up. But painting you had always come back to. And it felt good to share what you were feeling with the handful of people who had shown up that night, even if it wasn’t perfect.

Shuffling through your mail, separating them into a pile of trash and a pile of bills, you paused when you saw your name written on one of the letters in neat script. Despite being momentarily excited to receive a piece of mail from an actual human, you noticed the penmanship was vaguely familiar. When you saw the return address, you realized why.

The sight of his name made you drop the letter instantly, like it would burn you if you touched it too long. It was a no-brainer to sweep it in the trash alongside the other junkmail, so you did. And then you stood there a moment, staring at the corner of the soft white envelope sticking out from behind the brightly colored flier full of coupons.

“No,” you said to yourself, turning on your heel and walking towards the kitchen, uncorking the bottle of Chardonnay you’d opened last week while listening to a new album of one of your favorite artists. Since you blocked his number, you hadn’t heard from him. That wasn’t going to change. It shouldn’t.

Why the fuck would Kendall be sending you a letter?

You didn’t want to, or need to hear anything he had to say. He was an asshole. He had hurt you on a level deeper than you thought he was even capable of, and showed no remorse. And remorse wasn’t drunken, high phone calls at 2am. You were better off without him.

But you had spent a better portion of the last few years by his side. He had been a huge part of your life, whether you wanted to admit it or not. You took a sip of the wine, trying to savor it, but you weren’t really processing anything, your own brain wouldn’t even let you distract yourself. The offending piece of mail would taunt you for the rest of the foreseeable future, until you took your trash out.

Who were you kidding? You had to see what it was, or it was going to drive you mad.

“Fuck,” you groaned out loud to yourself, pitching over the counter and putting your head in your hands.

Digging it out of the trash, you sat at your kitchen table and stared at it for a minute. It wasn’t particularly heavy or thick, so there couldn’t be much inside. When you tore it open, you pulled out two pieces of folded paper scrawled in ink. Your lips quirked in a sad smile at the sight of his neat handwriting.

When you’d worked together, Kendall was always jotting down his thoughts on things with his expensive Montblanc pens. He would steal pages from your moleskine, or lean towards you during meetings to scribble in the margins of the contracts sitting in front of you, asking to see them afterwards. At first it had annoyed you, he never learned to bring his own notepad anywhere. Then somewhere along the way you’d found it endearing, evidence he left behind after leaving each conference. That felt like a lifetime ago.

Dated only a few days prior, you glanced at your name at the top, the standard greeting.

I have reached the time in my recovery where I am ready to write this letter to you. Over the past few months, I have had plenty of time to reflect on my actions and treatment of you, and I need to take responsibility for my actions. I am sorry.

He went on. It wasn’t a particularly long or poetic letter. You winced when you read the parts where he detailed all the specifics of what he’d done, and reliving those moments affirmed your decision to cut him off to begin with. But it was the most self-aware and frank he’d ever been about his behavior, and you had to begrudgingly appreciate how straightforward and earnest he was in his writing.

I take full and complete responsibility for all of my actions, and am so sorry for the distress I have caused you. I don’t expect your forgiveness, or any type of response, as I understand our relationship was likely a painful part of your life, but I couldn’t move forward in my recovery without letting you know. I hope you are doing well.

Sincerely,

Kendall

Despite owning up to all his actions, it all felt so….calculated, like he was filling out a form. But then again, maybe that was just Kendall. One of your hands clutched at your opposite shoulder.

The first thing you felt was relief. He was okay. He was in recovery. You wondered when that began, if he’d been to rehab, what triggered him to get help. You wished you could know more. But, he was getting it together. If he was still in your life, you would’ve been proud. Maybe you still were.

Then, bitterness stirred in your heart. Anger broiled inside you at the reminder of what he had done, all the ways he hurt you. You should tear up the letter, burn it. You should flush it down the toilet or put it through a shredder or toss it out the window. But for some reason, you just couldn’t.

The idea of reaching out, of calling him, seemed foreign. Seemed like turning the wrong way at a fork in the road, even though some deeper impulse wanted you to. You owed him nothing, he said so himself. And at least now, you had a little closure.

So instead of destroying the papers in your hands, or calling him in a moment of desperation, you folded the letter back up. Placing it back in the envelope, you stood and shoved it in the bottom of your junk drawer, hoping to forget it entirely.

— — — — —

You stared at Kendall for a minute from over your book. You were an hour into your flight to New York. He hadn’t spoken once, and was sitting across from you, dead silent, staring at nothing. No headphones in to entertain himself, no screens, he wasn’t even looking out the window. His hands kneaded into the cushions of the couch he sat on.

He swallowed hard. He always had a certain sadness about him but this….this was the worst you’ve ever seen. This wasn’t normal behavior, even though the past few months there had been quite a bit of turmoil. At this point, you didn’t care about the bear hug. You just needed to make sure that something terrible wasn’t going to happen, because at this rate, it seemed like things were trending that way, if they hadn’t already. It almost seemed like they had, even if he wasn’t telling you.

You made a decision.

Standing up, you crossed the relatively small space and sat down next to him. He didn’t even move, didn’t even look as you settled into the loveseat.

“Hey,” you murmured quietly. “What’s going on? Are you okay?”

“Uh-huh,” he nodded, squeezing the cushion beneath him again, jaw set. “I know it doesn’t seem like it, but I promise this is all gonna work out in our favor-“ He spoke like someone was feeding him lines from an earpiece, not even convincing himself.

“Ken,“ you cut him off, and he turned his head slightly, surprised by your stern tone. “That’s not-” you shook your head. “I don’t care about any of that. Are you okay?”

He sat up slightly, to look into your eyes wearily. You met his gaze, but it wasn’t easy. The impulse to look away, to shield yourself from the overwhelming sorrow they held was strong, but you held out. Kendall must have found something there, his face softening as he nodded. He was lying.

“Are you sure?” you asked. You knew better than to poke the bear. This was a very fragile thing, he could snap at any moment, push you away, embarrass you for expressing any type of support. “Do you want to talk?”

Kendall shook his head, looking back at the ground. “I…I c-can’t.”

Without even really thinking about it, you lifted your hand, carefully placing it on his shoulder. You watched his eyes flutter shut. One of his hands reached out to squeeze your knee, feeble and desperate as he hunched forward.

“I’m sorry.” He said, so quietly you could barely make out what he was saying, whispering your name. “I’m so sorry.”

“It’s okay,” you answered, squeezing his shoulder, gently rubbing his back. “It’s gonna be okay. Everything will work out.”

At the time, you didn’t know the real reason for his actions. One day, it would all make sense. But if you hadn’t reached out to him, hadn’t supported him, would he ever have crossed that boundary with you? Trusted you the way he had? You couldn’t be sure.

His voice shook when he answered. “I hope you’re right.”

— — — — —

“Thanks David, I’ll make those revisions right away,” you chirped, tucking the folder you held under your arm and leaving your boss's office alongside the manager of the account, Liz.

“You don’t need anything from me?” Liz asked as you stepped out of the office.

“No, not at all, it should be ready to distro by the end of the day. I’ll email you,” you said absentmindedly, pausing outside the door of the office and pulling your phone out of your pocket. It had been vibrating in a barrage of text messages for the last few minutes of the meeting. You assumed it was your group chat with a few of your friends acting up, as you’d forgotten to silence it.

The TV in the creative lounge was blaring, so loud you couldn’t even read the names of the various texts on your phone screen, making out one missed call from Stewy, which wasn’t normal.

“....Nearly four years ago, he suffered a stroke and stepped down from his position as CEO for a brief period of time before returning. Many of Waystar’s shareholders-”

Your attention was pulled away from your phone when you heard the name of the previous company that had employed you.

“Holy shit, have you been following this?” David stepped out of his office, finding you and Liz staring at the news broadcast.

“Following what?” you asked absentmindedly, still trying to figure out what the reporter was talking about.

“Logan Roy.” David answered, pointing at the TV screen.

“You used to work for him, didn’t you?,” said Liz.

“I didn’t really work for him, I worked for….” you trailed off when you saw the chyron at the bottom of the newscast. “....Kendall.”

Logan Roy, media mogul and former CEO of Waystar Royco, dead at 85.

“Shit, what was that like?” David asked. “He always seemed like a mess. I haven’t heard about him in forever.”

“It was….” you couldn’t seem to find words, too distracted. And you certainly weren’t going to answer honestly about your time with Kendall. It had been a year ago at this point, and you’d blocked most of the unpleasant parts from memory. “...Fine.”

“Damn, I thought that piece of shit would never croak. Good riddance,” you overheard one of the creative directors say from the bullpen. The others sitting around hummed in agreement.

David chuckled, stepping back into his office to attend to the more important matters at hand, Liz’s heels clicking off down the hallway.

You were left standing alone, trying to catch your breath, invisible behind everyone else still half-paying attention to the TV, your mind spinning, trying to process everything this meant.

Logan Roy was dead.

Part VII

#kendall roy #kendall roy x reader #succession writing #succession fic #succession #succession fanfic #succession hbo #shiv roy #stewy hosseini #logan roy #i do imply in this chapter that reader is a lil gay #but this is the succession universe so like i think she has to be because EVERYone is a little gay in this world #MUAHAHAHA #i am doing the impossible #what jesse armstrong is TOO AFRAID to do #kendall x reader writer alliance pls RISEEEEEE

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alluringjae · 3 years

Text

it’s a royal order - jjh

⤑ summary: one of your royal campaigns became a success, and your bodyguard jaehyun was there to see it all happen. it’s only fair to celebrate, right?

⤑ pairing: jaehyun x female reader

⤑ word count: 2k

⤑ genre: fluff, suggestive (dirty talk, jaehyun got a daddy kink, superiority complex!!), implied smut | bodyguard!jaehyun, princess!reader, slight enemies to lovers!au, modern royal!au (where south korea remains under monarchial power)

⤑ warnings: mentions of alcohol, drugs, family problems and therapy, explicit language

⤑ author’s note: this is definitely less emotional than all i do is wait! i got this idea from a show i really enjoyed before it got cancelled named the royals. specifically, i really liked the story of eleanor and jasper, which is the whole princess x bodyguard dynamic. the pining and tension, ugh! if you know this show or not, it doesn’t matter. anyways, thank you for the 30+ followers and 200 notes on aidiw! enjoy!

i need holy water because of this piece.

⤑ credits to jeongjaehyuns for the gif above uwu

⤑ leave me some feedback, constructive criticism or hellos!

“On behalf of the royal family, I would like to extend my utmost support for the Anti-School Violence campaign for all students to have a safer and more meaningful learning environment.” You proudly announced to the board of officials alongside other influential individuals in Korean society.

Being the only princess in the current royal line may have its pressures, but holding a strong, direct impact for a brighter future for the people motivated you to take advantage of your platform for the better. As the image of pure innocence and revamped women empowerment, you aimed to accomplish all the things your mother wished she could before her untimely death alongside your personal aspirations.

Expressing genuine joy with the campaign, with a tinge of desire to annoy the old-fashioned and closeminded officials, your prying eyes were more enamored by a certain man in the back clapping by the ballroom doors. You can’t help but act flustered whenever he witnessed you in a state of success and satisfaction.

This man went by the name Jeong Jaehyun, your trusted bodyguard since you were in your early twenties. 3 years later, he still stuck by your side and helped you endure all the darkness as a royal.

Back then, you went through a rebellious phase that was ruining the image of your family. Clubbing almost every night, drugs, skipping school, you even managed to get all assigned bodyguards to quit! The media ate up all your tricks, turning them into scandals. That was the plan, of course. You desired your own freedom from all the royal obligations because you didn’t ask to be born into that lifestyle. To all of your peers who wished to be in your footsteps, you would’ve impulsively passed your title to them. There’s so much deception that lies behind the glitz and glam of it all.

This unexpected change in your former untainted attitude came to the point that your father, the king himself, stepped in and personally assigned one of his men to get you in check. He figured that appointing a guard nearest your age may lessen the tension and mend you back together.

In the start, you absolutely despised him. There was no way to fool him when you were up to no good. He easily found your alcohol and drug stash which he disposed of on the spot and stood by your bedroom door every night so you wouldn’t sneak out past curfew (which your father also strictly implemented).

One big turning point in your relationship was when he rushed you to the royal hospital when you drank a cocktail that went unnoticeably spiked. To think that this was a typical social gathering with other royals and officials, you’re a constant target to many. You didn’t wake up for a few days, and the entire time, Jaehyun willingly stood by your bedside and outside your hospital room.

Since that and more instances your father insisted you get involved in royal affairs, you softened up. As cliché as it was, the more time spent with him, the more you knew about him and vice versa. He was the one that got you to fully open up about your grief towards your late mother, encouraging you to seek help. Turns out you weren’t as different as you thought despite your differing ranks in society when he also had a void for a missing parent. In his case, it was his father, who ditched his family for his mistress. Silently, you helped each other recover from your traumas alongside therapy. From dreading his presence, you started treating him more casually. Your father’s tactic of assigning a bodyguard around your age admittedly worked.

Oh, how time flies.

This campaign was the last thing on your weekend agenda, so you had the entire late afternoon and evening to yourself. Bowing one last time to the audience, you stepped down from the platform and accepted the soft hand of your bodyguard, who quickly made his way to you despite the flashing cameras. It was something he got used to as it is part of the job.

Once he successfully ushered you out of the ballroom, his hand still held yours. Nothing new, except this event was quite public and you didn’t want anyone to get any wrong ideas. Strolling down one of the many hallways in the palace became a pastime for the both of you, where no one can catch you. It was a safe haven within the destructive life of the Park kingdom.

“You did phenomenal as I expected, your highness.” Jaehyun complimented, recalling your panic the night before as the stage fright hit strong when you were reciting your speech to him over and over again.

“We are in private, Jaehyun. Must you really use those formalities with me?” You taunted, bobbing your head sideways mockingly. With him could you felt like a normal young adult, and you wouldn’t have it any other way. Jaehyun loved being frisky with you, catching you get irked up. And he was up to do it again.

“Hmm last time we strolled these halls, Yuta caught us making out after a successful meeting with the Prime Minister.”

You gasped at his statement, conscious of whoever may be in the vicinity. But before you could refute, your hand that was interlocked with his were mightily slammed against the white wall. You lost your breath for a moment, his warm body closely on yours. His free hand freely roamed up and down your covered waist. His lips were dangerously near your neck, where you’re sensitive. Your hips naturally grinded against him to release the pent-up tension.

“Something tells me you want to do it again, princess?” Now he’s just using your title as a pet name, but you couldn’t complain. It just hits differently when the situation was set up like this.

“I deserve it, don’t I? Got a lot of those hell-driven officials on my side for this round.” You raised both your brows cockily, licking your lips.

“Hell yeah, you do.” Finally, he rids of the tension and plants open kisses on your bare neck. Your throaty moans were uncontrollable, and you could care less.

“My princess,”

Kiss.

“So intelligent,”

Kiss.

“So benevolent,”

Kiss.

“So helpful,”

Kiss.

“But,” He changed his pace and direction, swollen lips near your ear.

“But?” You question naïvely. He scoffed, smirking at your antics of playing dumb.

“But a total slut for her bodyguard.” He dominantly planted his lips against yours, one of his veiny hands gripping on your waist and the other by the arch of your butt. He was hungry, needy even. Due to your shared schedules, it’s been a constant struggle to have proper alone time from the snooping eyes of Korean society. After all, it wasn’t in the norm for a princess to fall deep for her bodyguard. Nor were you sure you would be accepted by anyone. Yuta, the bodyguard of your oldest brother, the crowned prince Jinyoung, finding the both of you at that time was a total shock but didn’t care either.

All that mattered was that your feelings towards each other are real and strong. Accepted or not, you had each other.

All this lust put you in a daze, wanting much more than another smooch fest in the hallway. Tugging on his belt, he squeezed your butt tightly. You emitted a moan, which allowed his tongue access. No way could you keep your hands to yourself, touching his upper body and the flexing of his abdominal muscles from his button-up. You felt his now hard member poking through.

Analyzing your area, you were on the other side of the palace. Farther to your bedroom where numerous rendezvouses were made, one kink you’ve considered in the past amplified your mind. Considering this area was also the king’s side, and he was abroad for royal affairs, this was your chance.

“I have an idea, my love. You up for it?” You rose a brow at your lover, challenging him. Not one to overpower this man in bed, but always suggesting a way on how to spice it up.

“And what exactly does your feral brain want to do with me, princess?” His finger lifted your chin so you meet eye to eye. You can just see the fire still burning, and oh how you were ready to intensify it.

“The main ballroom, where my father and late mother’s throne rest, are a few doors away.” Your fingers signal him to lower his stance as his tall height was difficult to reach. With a sneaky smirk,

“Let me ride you in the king’s throne, my love.” Your lips brushed over his and sucked his bottom lip, tugging him by his belt. He groaned, squeezing your butt. “It’s a royal order.”

“Nasty, your highness. Insanely nasty, you are.” His hands hoisted your waist, boosting you up in his arms. You gasped with profanities, ravenously cut off by his lips again. His nails digging deep in your bare thighs, your legs naturally linked themselves around his torso while your arms passionately intertwined his broad neck.

In between kisses, he carried you to the said main ballroom. One of your wildest imaginations, just a second away. This room remained to be the only place without any guards stationed technological advancements or updated interior designs to preserve its traditional beauty. Dated as far as the 19th century, only special events were held and the highest of the high were allowed inside. Spacious, surrounded by gold linings majestic paintings of angels from above with a huge crystal chandelier right above the center. Right ahead, the original thrones that your ancestors, grandparents, and parents sat on when they were throned in its pure glory.

Pushing your lover on the king’s throne, the gold sun-like rays plastered behind the headrest, he cockily leaned back and manspread his legs for comfort. He rubbed his hands before patting his thigh, waiting for your submission. But you weren’t going to give in just yet.

Not when you prepared a mini-show just for him underneath your designer silk dress.

Jaehyun’s solemn eyes marveled over your gorgeous figure as you stripped down one strap after the other. Due to its silk fabric, it effortlessly dropped down to your figure to reveal a new set of black lace lingerie from your previous trip to Paris. Ages ago, Jaehyun unhesitatingly ripped your favorite ones during his birthday, so you decided to get a mature version of it. A version where your bra lifted your breasts more and undies hiked up to your waist to elongate your legs. Only for the eyes of yourself and the man in front of you, establishing that you were a powerful woman who can be absolutely anyone she can be. Princess, a normal young adult, or his slut, it’s up to you how you see yourself.

Jaehyun mumbled all the profanities he could think of at the moment. Looking like a divine angel when the sun from outside shuns behind you, his slacks tightening so much more than a while ago.

“All this for me?” He ogled shamelessly, undoing the buttons of his dress shirt and untying his necktie. “What did I do to deserve such regal treatment?”

You sneered at his comment, stepping out your dress in your heels and stationing right in front of his luring lap. “You’ve always been there for me, thick and thin. I think you deserve a reward, don’t you think?”

Lowering yourself to straddle him, his breath hissed when your damp core collided with his crotch. Distracted and caught in your trap, “I don’t think you answered my question, my love.”

Rather than a verbal response, he roughly pulled you back in for a kiss. His hands scattered to explore from your back down to your waist. Your hands messily ran through his hair, tugging on some when your body got too sensitive to his wild touches. The thrilling sounds of the two of you drowning in your fiery romance bounced throughout the ballroom, not minding if anyone passed by the hallways outside. It was a private room after all, and whatever happens here, stays here.

Rolling on his crotch while his lips trailed down to your collarbones, the quick snap of your bra wires echoed. The tight lift lessened as Jaehyun’s fingers dropped the straps, unveiling your bare chest covered in his marks.

“Enough playing, princess. Let daddy have some real fun with you.”

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the-original-skipps · 3 years

Text

Fluffy Alphabet A-Z

Sano Manjiro aka Mikey

Note: Thank you so much for 100+ followers. I wouldn't have been able to get his far without your support. I'm super overjoyed and glad that you guys take the time to read my writing. I love you all very much as promised I hope you enjoy the fluffy alphabet! 💗

A ctivities - What do they like to do with their s/o? How do they spend their free time with them?

> Mikey likes to go for rides on his CB205T and he likes to bring you along. He just loves the feeling of the wind passing and your presence behind him. Maybe sharing some snacks while you both watch the sunset or the starry night sky, talking about random things. He just generally likes being around you even if you're both just sitting in silence.

B eauty - What do they admire about their s/o? What do they think is beautiful about them?

> He admires your determination and strong will. Since Mikey is mentally weak, he admires those traits in other people. No matter what you'd always be there to scold him or comfort him. It reminds him of his older brother.

C omfort - How would they help their s/o when they feel down/have a panic attack etc.?

> Mikey instantly knows if you're feeling down, he just senses it. He'll bring you somewhere where they could both be alone maybe a park or he'll drive somewhere and sit you down. Mikey won't force you to tell him what's wrong but if you do he'll be listening intently. He's not the best at comforting people but makes sure to let you know that he's here for you.

D reams - How do they picture their future with their s/o?

> Now this is a hard topic to answer. Mikey has pictured a future with his s/o, living in peace after all the rush during his teenage years. However, he doesn't see it happening because he knows it's best if he keeps his s/o away from him in the future.

E qual - Are they the dominant one in the relationship, or rather passive?

> I'd say he's both but mostly on the passive side. He lets you take the lead since he doesn't know much about being in a relationship. He'll be given advice and teased by his close friends but he'll keep their words in mind.

F ight - Would they be easy to forgive their s/o? How are they fighting?

> Mikey is pretty stubborn and doesn't like losing. If it's a petty harmless arguement, if he's wrong then he'll muttering an apology to you and completely forget about it. It's difficult to get into a serious argument with him unless it's something concerning him or Toman. Say the things he needs to hear even if himself doesn't agree with you. Then he'll leave to give himself space and think about things. Be patient with him because eventually he'll come around.

G ratitude - How grateful are they in general? Are they aware of what their s/o is doing for them?

> Mikey is very grateful for you being by his side even though he thinks he doesn't deserve it. He appreciates every gesture you do for him from the big things and to the little things such as making him lunch or fixing his hair or just being by his side when he feels he's losing himself.

H onesty - Do they have secrets they hide from their s/o? Or do they share everything?

> Mikey doesn't hide things, if you ask him something he will directly answer you. He has no trouble talking about a past event since it already happened. Even though he doesn't want you getting involved with Toman, he still tells you about how they're doing or what they're up to. The only things he wouldn't share are his true feelings and his dark impulsivities since he doesn't want to scare you.

I nspiration - Did their s/o change them somehow, or the other way around? Like trying out new things or helped them overcome personal problems?

> Just by being by Mikey's side you are a positive influence on him. It will take a long time but little by little he tries to open up about his true feelings and tries to rely on you more. Everytime you sense he's distancing himself, you would have to drag him back and knock some sense into him.

J ealousy - Do they get jealous easily? How do they deal with it?

> Mikey is definitely the type to get jealous easily and his childish tendencies tend to come out. If he sees you getting too friendly with someone he'll keep staring until he's had enough and say "(Y/N) is mine, hmph!" With a cute pout on his face. Be sure to coddle him afterwards because he might give you the silent treatment.

K iss - Are they a good kisser? What was the first kiss like?

> Mikey has no experience whatsoever. He has no idea how kisses work. It'll be super rare to get a kiss from Mikey since he's not used to being affectionate. If you're lucky he'll peck you on your cheek or kiss your hands occasionally. Your first kiss with him wasn't planned. Both of you were alone and you were just admiring him as he talked and pressed a light kiss on his lips. He was instantly shocked by what you did as he traces over his lips with his fingers but inside he's feeling all warm. He never knew kisses from you would have this kind of affect on him.

L ove Confession - How would they confess to their s/o?

> It took long time for Mikey to realize that what he felt towards you was more than just friendship. He confessed this to Draken and he replied "huh, obviously you like them you idiot. Hurry up and go tell them." In which Mikey replies by telling Draken to do the same for Emma. It happened when he came to pick you up from school one day on his motorcycle and brought you to the riverside. "I finally understand what I feel, (Y/N). I like you... You don't have to give me an answer right away, I'll wait however long it takes..."

M arriage - Do they want to get married? How do they propose? What would the marriage be like?

> Another hard topic to answer. When Mikey fell for you he fell hard. As much as he wants to spend the rest of his life in peace with you, it won't happen. That is until he goes through "certain changes" and let's say he did. You'll be riding with him on his motorcycle on Christmas until he stops at a certain place. He'll start talking about his past and the times you've spent together. Then talking about how much he appreciates you and thanks you then pops the question. The wedding will be small and privately held with only people close to him and you are invited.

N icknames - What do they call their s/o?

> It is known that Mikey gives nicknames to those who are close to him. It depends on what your first name is. He'll most likely you use the first syllable of your name plus -chin, -cchi or -chy. Only when he's serious will he use your real name.

O n Cloud Nine - What are they like when they are in love? Is it obvious for others? How do they express their feelings?

> Honestly, it can be really hard to tell unless you really observe Mikey. You would notice he stares at you longer, or everytime your name pops up in a conversation he's interested. Draken is definitely the first the notice this change in Mikey and teases him for it, while Mikey denys it. The others will slowly start to notice this too. Especially, when he bought an extra taiyaki and gave it to you. Takemichy's jaw dropped at the scene.

P DA - Are they upfront about their relationship? Do they brag with their s/o in front of others? Or are they rather shy to kiss etc. when others are watching?

> Mikey won't be announcing to everyone that he has an s/o. However, if someone asks he'll answer honestly. I wouldn't use the word "brag" but he will say nice about you to others. For Mikey, intimate gestures such as kissing are only between the two of you. If someone catches the both of you, Mikey wouldn't be pleased.

Q uirk - Some random ability they have that's beneficial in a relationship.

> You wouldn't have to worry about anyone trying to flirt with you or trying to hurt you not when Mikey's around. Mikey cares deeply about you and would give his life to protect you. You wouldn't have to worry about other people trying to flirt with Mikey either since you already have his heart, he'll simple brush them off. He's loyal.

R omance - How romantic are they? What would they do to make their s/o happy? Cliché or rather creative?

> As I have mentioned earlier, Mikey has no experience with relationships. You would have to teach him things. Still there will be moments that might seem simple to others but to you, you know it's a way Mikey shows his love for you. For example, draping his jacket over your shoulders or buying an extra snack so you could have some too. If he's not busy with Toman matters, he would want to spend his time with you.

S upport - Are they helping their s/o achieve their goals? Do they believe in them?

> Mikey would genuinely support your dreams and passions, telling you to never give up on them. He believes in you with his whole heart, and he knows you would be able to make your goals come true.

T hrill - Do they need to try out new things to spice out your relationship? Or do they prefer a certain routine?

> He would like to try things he never experienced before with you, like taking pictures at the photo booth or going shopping for matching keychains. That being said, what Mikey likes the most is the constant reassurance that you're here for him. Routines like going riding on his motorcycle or just talking with you, it what he like most. He's scared that one day you'd leave him so these mundane routines assures him.

U nderstanding - How good do they know their partner? Are they empathetic?

> You would think Mikey is the forgetful type but he actually pays attention to things. He'll notice you eyeing a certain item in a store or if you're lying to him. He genuinely cares about you and would like to know everything about you, even the shameful parts. Mikey has a hard time with emotions, he may not fully understand your troubles but he'll assure you that he'll be there for you.

V alue - How important is the relationship to them? What is it’s worth in comparison to other things in their life?

> For Mikey to actually want to establish a relationship with someone. It means he sees you as an important person in his life. However, certain things would have to come before you such as his family and Toman. It is something you would have to understand when dating Mikey.

W ild Card - A random Fluff Headcanon.

> Whenever he looks like he's spacing off during Toman meetings while he is paying attention to what's happening his mind can't help but wander towards you. About what you're currently doing or if you're at home safely. Before he starts the engine of his bike, or has nothing to do he fiddles with the keychain on his keys. It's the matching keychain you both have.

X OXO - Are they very affectionate? Do they love to kiss and cuddle?

> Mikey is not known to be the most showy when it comes to showing his affections. It's the little things he does for only you, that shows how much he cares about you. Mikey secretly likes the affection you give him even if he denies it. It surprises him everytime you hug him or kiss him but he never stops you or tells you to stop. Just don't do it in front of Toman. Even if he doesn't want to, cuddle him as the big spoon and it'll make him really happy. Since he's so used to keeping a strong facade, cuddling with you gives him the impression that with you maybe he doesn't have to do that.

Y earning - How will they cope when they're missing their partner?

> Mikey will still act as the strong charismatic leader of Toman, where nothing fazes him. He won't outwardly show that he misses you but you can tell by the way he fiddles with his matching keychain or stares off into the distance that he misses you. He might even unconsciously blurt a quiet "I miss (Y/N)...."

Z eal - Are they willing to go to great lenghts for the relationship? If so, what kind of?

> Mikey is willing to give his life away to protect you. Just you being with him is dangerous enough who knows who might be out to get him and easiest way they can do that is by getting you. If your safely is at risk even he likes you he would have to break up with you, keep you away from the danger. Because he utmostly cares about your well being and if anything happens to you, it will destroy him.

#sano manjiro #mikey tokyo revengers #mikey x reader #sano manjiro x reader #tokyo revengers #tokyo revengers x reader #tokyo revengers imagines #tokyo revengers x y/n #tokyo manji gang #tokyo manji revengers #skipps writes

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mobiused · 2 years

Note

How did you find info on the song on the one teaser for yyxy? I cant find anything beyond basic information :(

When you say "info" what do you mean? 'one' is intentionally vague, having the blank brackets and no mv description, so yeah there's no information to "find" really, my own thoughts are just a product of some detective work. Though below I'll go into more detail on my perspective on various aspects of the teaser for you :)

(1.5k of one teaser insanity below)

The book quotes from Douglas Adam's "the restaurant at the end of the universe" [...do what you like guys, oh, but don't eat the apple], which is a sarcastic quote about how God is kind of a dick for pointing out the one thing in Eden that would lead to the fall of man and expect them to resist temptation when he designed them as fallible, basically hinting that god wanted them to bite the apple and get exiled, so real humanity, with all its flaws and temptation and free will could get started, that it was somewhat an inevitability.

I think this links well to exposition from Yves' new mv description:

It's interesting to think about in terms of the illusion of freedom though, the Christian argument is that Adam and ...Yves chose freely to disobey God, and Yves here argues it's better to "stand up...against that fate", but both God and the serpent - to varying degrees - manipulate and coerce Eve into making her "choice", it wasn't exactly of her own volition. These link to ideas about determinism, with philosophers like Laplace and Leibniz supporting the idea of a clockwork universe. (I was reading this article about it, which coincidentally features the czech clock that is in the 12:00 teaser.)

This contrasts ideas from 'East of Eden', which yyxy are in part inspired by. The central takeaway from the book is the idea of 'timshel' (which isn't actually a real hebrew word), that by the end of the book, Cal (who Olivia Hye is meant to be analogous to) is left with the fact that the ability to be evil, and also the ability to do good, will always be his choice, and he's not like his mother Cathy (who is meant to be analogous to Yves, kind of), and that rather than his father's blessing, which was what he wanted to hear, this fact of timshel is what he needed to hear. Despite all of Cal's badness, impulsiveness and wrongdoings, he always has the choice to turn it around and be a good person again. Idea of timshel explained below

“Don’t you see?” he cried. “The American Standard translation orders men to triumph over sin. . . . The King James translation makes a promise in ‘Thou shalt,’ meaning that men will surely triumph over sin. But the Hebrew word, the word timshel—‘Thou mayest’—that gives a choice. It might be the most important word in the world. That says the way is open. That throws it right back on a man. For if ‘Thou mayest’—it is also true that ‘Thou mayest not.’ Don’t you see?”

So that kind of covers how I feel on the Douglas Adams book reference in relation to yyxy.

Next up is the 3 virtues and 1 sin:

Yves is faith, Chuu is love, Gowon is hope and Olivia Hye is... anger? Kind of want to strangle bbc for this one!! anger as a translation for 분노 (the word used as the korean translation) is totally busted - 분노 is meant to evoke the idea of wrath, as in the cardinal sin. From the namuwiki page below is a table which shows that even though 분노 can be translated as anger, I think within the context that the other 3 words are biblical, it should be gathered that they're trying to assign Olivia Hye specifically wrath, and not just anger.

As for the other three - faith, love and hope come originally from St. Paul's letter to the Thessalonians, but is most famously repeated in 1 Corinthians 13, most commonly at weddings lol. but I think Thessalonians 1:3 is more pertinent:

"...calling to mind your work of faith and labor of love and endurance in hope"

The letter is St. Paul speaking fondly about the community of Christians in Thessalonica, praising them for their community work (i.e building the city of god is a labor of love). But does this really apply to the girls? The girls are certainly building a community - the whole message of the entire loonaverse is about improving circumstances for all "loonas" around the world, and we're constantly seeing imagery of the "outsiders" (foreigners, queer people, androids, socioculturally outspoken people) finding community after being 'enlightened' to Yves' -- and loona on the whole's -- message.

Yves' loses faith in her God, but gains faith in herself. She becomes an egoist (🧐) and develops faith in areas such as her own performance skills (as discussed briefly in this post) and her mission over all, completely turning her back on God.

To me, the first three girls are "perversions" (for lack of a better word) of these virtues. Augustine of Hippo comments that love is the best out of all three, becuase hope isn't hope if its object is seen, and faith can turn into delusion

Chuu's love for Yves is stalkerish and objectifying as her "fan", and is completely infatuated with, and obedient to her despite knowing very little about her past the image Yves projects. Chuu's love certainly "...bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things" (1 Corinthians 13:7), but we see that her love for Yves (aka love4eva) is to her detriment, as it leads her to freezing to the point of unconsciousness in the Heart Attack MV.

Gowon's hope gets soured once Yves gives her everything she's hoped for. Gowon wanted a future where she was respected, independent, beautiful, unashamed (and so on), and as soon as Yves crowns her, she no longer has to hope for anything, because she just got everything. "You have seen, therefore you have not believed" "For if a man sees a thing, why does he hope for it?"

We know a theme in the loonaverse is that what society/organised religion deems to be a "bad" girl, and what the loona members' opinions of what a "bad" girl should be are two different things - this applies to Olivia hye too right? We see this most clearly in the 'Why Not' lyrics (trimmed to the relevant lyrics):

If those guys are perversions of the virtues, what does that mean for Olivia's wrath? Is she just simply the bringer of wrath, or does she pervert that too, by embodying its opposing virtue of patience, enduring her time in Eden until the right moment comes for her emancipation, and come out stronger? Despite all of Olivia's cathartic burning of objects reminding her of Eden/Yves, do we really see her demonstrate wrath? That is, opposed to righteous, healthy anger, demonstrated in stories such as the Cleansing of the Temple.

The song theme is (in part) about choosing your own morality, and not letting the traditionalist and reactionary views of others make you waver in those morals, no matter what they say. Olivia may come across like a "bad" girl, but do her actions really reflect a girl who is the embodiment of wrath? This also links to her connection with East of Eden's Cal, who gives off every impression of being a "bad" boy, except its a grey area... Like her symbolic color. Not a coincidence!

Lastly, a look at the German operatic song in the background, where the lyrics line up with the members on screen like from this post, which is kind of unsettlingly cool how well it matches up with the respective characters.

Yves is the leader, who never discusses her own trauma from Eden.

Chuu secretly longs for a woman who she doesn't truly know, who seems to be(?) unaware of how much she emotionally affects her.

Gowon retreats into religion, and her inner world as an unhealthy(?) coping mechanism similarly to how Aron from East of Eden (though isn't the meadows and stars reminscient of LCM?)

Olivia Hye is so ostracised and pained, we don't even get to even hear about her "heavy pressed heart", as 'she' is silenced before it gets to be articulated.

A lot of people have kind of crackpot theories (just kidding all theories are valid...! ^-^) on what the ending of the 'one' teaser is meant to mean, and the ones about yyxy all being one person, or having DID, or more shit like that. I really think that's a fundemental misunderstanding of what is trying to be conveyed. Cinematically, we see the girls one by one to be shown following in Yves' footsteps, all walking to the same direction, to the same end goal, of eating the apple and leaving Eden.

To me, the teaser is more about Olivia Hye realising at the mirror that her "choice" to eat the fruit was never really a choice at all.

#sorry if you didnt ask for infodump but like its me so #long post #loonaverse #loona lore #ITS ME BOY THE YYXY IN YOUR MIND YOUR FREE WILL IS AN ILLUSION BOY #wow okay this got even longer #i should stop writing tags before i finish #is this my longest yet?#<- no its not actually it just feels long because images

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aroaceacacia · 3 years

Note

What is your twitter dude I've looked up every variation of all of your usernames that I can think of but I can't find it lmao I wanna know your thoughts on mask

@ genesisfr0g !!! it's not intuitive sorry, genesis frog & variations of that are what I usually go by online, tumblr happens to be the exception

I'll give more thought through thoughts here. I think dream meant well with mask, but its message came off strange to me. (I understand that it's just his own personal experience, but from everything I can tell, it's not healthy behavior.)

the way the end of the song is not a happy/conclusive ending ("I've been wearing a smile so long it's real", implying he has become the mask), but the end of the music video is happy? it's this strange dissonance to me that feels deeply wrong, almost like dream misinterpreted his own song; mask is about masking his neurodivergence and his mental health struggles, and the conclusion the video draws is... to do that indefinitely for so long that you repress/ignore your struggles

similarly to that, the happy ending of the video kinda clashes for me with the dumping meds scene. dumping medication impulsively, without talking to your doctor, is not a good thing. you don't have to take medication to cope w mental health, because there is no "one size fits all" tool, but the mask video does not show dream actually building any coping mechanisms and instead just... pretending like everything is fine. that doesn't sit well with me, and it's why the mask video feels to some people like it lowkey endorses not taking medication (that and the ridiculous phrasing of "normal pills", "you are not normal" on the doctor's note, etc).

all of this to say, this all rubs me the wrong way in part because dream (imo) clearly does not have all of the tools he needs to cope with his ADHD? he's impulsive and he lashes out on twitter, which consistently leads to him stepping in shit and causing controversy after controversy. he's a creator with 23 million subscribers, he has millions of eyes on him and just as many people waiting to criticize him and tear him down.

I understand people arent perfect but in situations like, say, after an MCC where the winning team appeared to "cheat", Dream going on his roommate's stream and jokingly and loudly accusing his friend/coworker of cheating via a glitch that's affected just about everyone in the game at some point, to an audience of 100k+ very passionate young people, or when he's being accused of cheating by speedrun mods whove done math and think his run should be invalid and he doesnt remember cheating on purpose, Dream needs something or someone to make him stop, wait, and think about what he's about to do before he says anything. I recognize that he seems to be aware of his flaws and hes very willing to admit that hes fucked up when he thinks he needs to, but he just keeps doing this over and over? Some/most of his twitter fans pull the "he has ADHD" card to a lot of his criticism in this vein, and yeah he sure does, but he also needs to try and improve himself - it's not an excuse to continue in this way

so overall, the impression I get is that dream is a young man with a disability (ADHD) who's never really been part of a community with other neurodivergent/disabled people, who purposefully ditched one of the tools he was offered to cope with his disability (the medication), and since then has not actually learned how to cope or asked his existing support system to help accommodate his needs (i.e. asking someone he trusts before making potentially inflammatory tweets, or even having a PR manager). and basically, none of it is good, imo

in terms of mental health & neurodivergence there are creators who are more frank and honest and healthy with how they cope and get through it. for example- plumbella is autistic and has been open with their anxiety, taking breaks, and getting help!

im not saying that dream needs to spill his life story/every detail of his mental health history or whatever, but I think this whole essay can clarify to you that the overall impression I get is that dream does not cope with his ADHD in a way that is healthy or actually constructive and the mask music video unintentionally validates that.

if people find comfort in mask by dream, I'm not trying to take that away from them; I'm just offering my perspective as a medicated person with ADHD around dream's age.

also just, the music video was not well written - the story was shown to the audience in a way that felt. uncreative. straightforward. Like there wasn't a lot of artistry in it? the character designs were very unsettling, and the movements/animation was very slow. that animation works in a few shots, and the lighting was beautiful, but overall the MV did not look good and it wasn't enough of an engaging or interesting story to want to bring me back to watch it again

tl;dr mask didnt look good and it had themes that trouble me bc they seem to fall into a pattern of dream not actually successfully coping with his ADHD and as a result causing problems for the greater MCYT community

#holy shit indidnt mean to write an essay #long post #cc!dream critical #cc!dream #bearvocalizations #discourse #asks

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starleska · 2 years

Note

balthazar for the character game!!! silly guy

ohhh Balthazar Bratt, love of my life 🥺💖 thank you so much for requesting him, i love him so much!! answers for this ask game are under the cut, as it gets a little long!

how i feel about this character: i'd like him to put that flexibility to good use- for real, i adore Balthazar 😭💖 he is such a funny, captivating asshole with great style, awesome gadgetry and to-die-for dance moves!! ever since i first saw his opening heist scene (which you should definitely watch if you’re unfamiliar with him) i was totally in love. i’m a huge sucker for flamboyant, anachronistic, queer-coded villains, and i think Balthazar is the best bad guy out of the whole Despicable Me franchise (apologies to Vector, El Macho and Scarlet Overkill!). his 80s theming, weapons, speech, soundtrack and movements are perfect, and he’s so talented!! guy’s a brilliant dancer, actor and scientist/engineer, and he does it all himself apart from the help of his little robot pal Clive...that’s no easy feat 😭💖 at the same time, i love Balthazar for how tragic he is. i spoke about him a little in this Twitter thread: how he’s an ultra-successful, multiskilled child star thrown out by an uncaring entertainment industry and appears to have no support system at all. i know his character, like Vector’s, is written to be kind of ludicrously pathetic as he’s a grown man stuck decades in the past and narcissistic to the point of self-delusion...but can you imagine how awful it would be to suddenly have everything ripped away from you just because you went through puberty? (incoming silly analysis which you should not take seriously) i see Balthazar’s adherence to his own past with the 80s clothes, music, dancing, etc. a kind of trauma-based regression. i don’t think he’s psychologically capable of moving beyond this period of his life because it’s the last time he felt wanted and adored. i think the writing for Balthazar is great because his backstory and actions tie in perfectly with his motivation: from the very start you understand that he’s so good at what he does because he is hell-bent on revenge. all in all, i think the people behind Despicable Me 3 struck gold with his character. iirc, he was going to be a minor villain underneath another antagonist, but they liked him so much that they bumped him up to be the primary antagonist instead. and i don’t blame them!! in a very good movie, Balthazar really is the highlight 🥰💖 all the people i ship romantically with this character: i am very much a Druthazar (Dru/Balthazar) fan despite their interactions being very limited in the movie 😂 i really love Dru as a character because he’s so bubbly and sweet, and i think Dru is the one character who could penetrate the massive walls Balthazar has built up around himself and his ego. Dru is someone who is intimately familiar with failure and rejection, yet he refuses to give up in the face of adversity (even to the point of hurting himself). he’s a very impulse-driven kind of guy, not to mention highly energetic and cuddly!! i think Balthazar is a very touch-starved man. take a look at how he clings to his Evil Bratt action figure and how he sleeps snuggling the Dumont Diamond and try telling me he wouldn’t benefit from an ultra-huggy partner!! i think what tips me over the edge for Druthazar is the fact that Dru is a villainy fanboy. we know that he’s a fan of the Evil Bratt series, enough to have owned one of the Bratt Pack action figures and to remember specific episodes of the show when they’re recreated in real life. surely it tracks that Dru would be a huge fan of Balthazar’s unique villainous flair! i love the fandom idea of Dru going to break Balthazar out of prison and begging him to teach him how to be a villain. i really think the two could commiserate with one another over their difficult pasts. because Balthazar’s villainy stems from the character he played as a child, i think Dru would help him find his own identity and feel confident in who he is and what he wants outside of his specific acting trauma. at the same time, i think Balthazar would be amazing at helping Dru become a more confident, stylish villain, and he’d help him unlock and train up all of his evil aptitudes. the idea of the two of them being a villain boyfriend duo is just wonderful 😭💖 besides that, i could ship Balthazar with quite a few characters!! Gru/Balthazar, Lucy/Balthazar or even the three in a poly relationship are all super cute 🥺💖 there’s also something in me that finds the crack ship Vector/Balthazar hysterical...i’m gonna be cringe and admit that i selfship with him too 😳 listen, i just want to give him the love he deserves! my non-romantic OTP for this character: would it be a cop-out to say that i think Balthazar deserves all the love in the world, and he should be with anyone that makes him feel safe and happy? i know it’s pretty hard to come back from literally trying to murder Gru, tying up Lucy and kidnapping/endangering their children, but the soft part of me wishes Balthazar could become some weird familial addition to the Gru household. it seems like Balthazar doesn’t have any friends - and i don’t think we see a single employee (unless you count Clive) in his elaborate Rubik’s Cube fortress!! i kind of love the idea of Vector and Balthazar being nerdy pals...the two of them and Dru could marathon Evil Bratt together 🥰 my unpopular opinion about this character: you know, i’m not sure i do have anything massively unpopular to say about him! perhaps that Balthazar is actually a sympathetic villain? i know a lot of people would find what he did irredeemable, but this is from a children’s movie franchise, so let me enjoy the speculation 😖 i think Balthazar has led an oddly sheltered life as a child star, and is probably pretty socially underdeveloped. rather than prison, i think that he deserves rehabilitation and exposure to healthy relationships founded on mutual like and respect, rather than what he has to offer. with Balthazar, everything you see is such a performance...it makes you think how intense his exercise regime (i.e., those fun aerobics we see him doing) has to be in order to keep up that level of fitness. i think Balthazar deserves some time to find out more about himself outside of his Evil Bratt persona, and to meet people who like him for him 💔 one thing i wish would happen/had happened with this character in canon: oh man, this is tough!! i’ve already brought up a lot of things i would have loved to see in the movie, but i do think DM3 did a spectacular job with his character either way. if only we’d gotten more Dru/Balthazar interactions...i also think it would’ve been great to see the in-between years for Balthazar, between his teenage meltdown leading up to the forty-something guy we see by the time of the movie. does he (or did he) have a family? is he still receiving royalties from Evil Bratt? how did he design and develop his weapons - are they all based on gadgets from his TV show, or are some of them original expansions? i especially want to know if there are any existing Evil Bratt fans, including people who are fans of Balthazar’s modern-day villainy...i’ve been considering creating a superfan OC based on this idea 👀 there you have it anon!! i hope all of this was fun and informative :3c thanks so much for sending this in, and i’d love to hear your thoughts about Balthazar too!! 💖

#balthazar bratt #despicable me #despicable me 3 #dru gru #druthazar #starleskasks

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