#I love that so much bc when I do post Hannibal they’re like WHAT

[willgrahamscock]

i have now seen several different blogs each from different fandoms reblog ur groceries post my fav cock is famous

I have several posts that get passed around like a blunt, I’m pretty sure majority of my followers don’t even watch Hannibal at this point they’re here for the vibes

#alex answers #unrelated text posts is how I gained most my followers #I love that so much bc when I do post Hannibal they’re like WHAT

[rahleeyah]

Hey Leah!

I love your post about Something Happened. I totally agree with your thought that it was a great idea and it just wasn’t executed the best. Honestly like there’s so much the show could do with the characters backstories that they unfortunately just can’t due to the limited schedule and money and it being on prime time blah blah blah. But yea if they could have moved that epi over to HBO and made it a full true hour long with unlimited language etc oof it could’ve been big

Anyways that ep reminds me of your story where it’s from Muncy’s POV and liv gets called in the middle of the night to interview that creepy dude and it’s revealed that liv was with El earlier and all these truths about liv are “uncovered” and meanwhile fin is like chill muncy we figured that’s what was up we had a bet going over that. But then there’s even truths that Fin suspected but were never confirmed and it shakes his night up too. And it takes a lot for Fin to get rattled especially over liv cuz he knows that woman damn well!

Like in Something Happened Rollins and Barba both kinda try to get liv to stop the interview because they’re seeing her give parts of herself away to get a confession and Liv shuts them both down like nope not hearing it. But in your fic (which is a section I really love) liv and fin have such a strong working connection that she barely has to say anything because she knows when fin is gonna step in and he knows when she’s good and when she’s not and it’s so intrinsic and trusting and 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

All this to say that that story of yours is a personal fav of mine and is almost what I think maybe the writers were going for with Something Happened but it just didn’t quite get there. Part 33 got us there but that one was also more about WL which is always going to create a more visceral reaction in people so maybe that’s part of why one worked more over the other? 🤷🏻‍♀️ not sure.

Anyways now I’m rambling but I just wanted to say that I loved your post and I love your fic and I hope you have a great weekend! ❤️

thank you so much for this!!

and that chapter is a personal favorite of mine, and I love that connection! bc the setups are very much the same! liv in interview, giving away pieces of herself to get to a confession but maybe, also, a little bit, because there's a part of her that's desperate to speak the truth and this avenue is merciless but she wants to be honest. the guy was very much an homage to Hannibal Lecter - though he was in the end pathetic in a way Hannibal is not - and I loved pitting Liv up against someone who had some wits and some conniving.

the core of something happened, this idea surrounding the relationship a child has with an abusive/dangerous father - or in Olivia's case, a father who was both violent and completely absent - is really heavy and nuanced and I think the show lacked the depth necessary to convey that well, but I respected the fact that they were willing to try.

I think part 33 worked better, and I think it worked better because of the themes. the show had been working the "what's the difference between what's legal and what's just" angle for a minute, and Liv has always lived in the grey areas; her first episode is her choosing to let a murderer go free because in her heart she felt the murder was in some way justified, even if it was vigilantism. Amanda is a more black and white thinker (which is endlessly frustrating to me, given that she's supposed to be into psychology and interested in different theories of consciousness) and they both bring baggage that we know about to the case and make it really personal and profound. so because Part 33 was treading familiar ground and wasn't pushing the melodrama quite as hard, and was dealing with characters we're familiar with and understand, I think it's the more successful of the two.

#anonymous #e.o asks #s.vu

[arom-com]

hi hope this is ok but i've seen sooo many of ur posts tagged as renbrand and i am ... perhaps .... a little curious .... would u like to tell me abt them !!!! 👀👀 (its ok if not ofc)

Ofc!! I sure have been tagging them a lot huh

The short version is that they’re my unhinged lesbian ocs stuck in a murder timeloop

Longer version is this:

(I am not going to be able to explain this in any way approaching coherent) (but I will try!!) (sorry in advance for the Wall of Text)

So RenBrand stands for these two:

Ren Hayashi (23, she/they) university student studying criminal psychology, abandonment issues out the wazoo, Going Through It

Brand Reitveld (26, she/her) local gang leader, Control Issues TM, definitely the cat in whatever cat-and-mouse thing they have going on

They’re in love — it’s not even remotely healthy.

Basically, through no fault of their own, they got stuck in a long-form time loop (days/months rather than strict 24h) that resets whenever one of them dies, which wouldn’t be too much of an issue? Except a) they’ve never met and don’t know they’re stuck together, and b) Ren keeps getting fucking murdered

Bc!! Ren’s psychology prof is running a secret cult (trying to turn his crim psy students into serial killers, it’s a whole thing, very cringe of him) so she gets killed for accidentally getting in the way a couple times (she doesn’t know about the cult), and then ofc starts investigating, which only makes it worse (I feel so bad for her but it’s also really funny, saddest most pathetic sopping wet oc I’ve ever created)

(Some of Ren’s deaths are also caused by Brand who’s like listen I don’t have a grudge against you or anything but you do keep getting my people killed so I have to eliminate the threat, no hard feelings! And Ren is like I am in abject misery)

(strangers to enemies to lovers except the strangers to enemies is a speedrun and the enemies to lovers is a slow burn)

The story they’re from is sort of a dark mystery-slash-romance (think nbc hannibal meets groundhog day, which is certainly a sentence), and it’s mainly centred around Ren and her corruption arc as she goes from “tired student just trying to finish her dissertation if it kills her” to “codependent mob-wife who kills first and asks questions later”

I’m obsessed with time as a narrative device, and especially time loops, because it can be used in such interesting ways!! And the interesting part about time loops to me is that they’re like,,,,, rube goldberg machines for character development? You only stick a character in a time loop when you need them to undergo a pretty drastic change without a proper catalyst, and it forces them to wear themselves down to their bones, to find the very essence of what they are, and then build themselves back up again into their ideal and purest form of self. (Of course, some people just use them as a tool for romance, but that’s boring!! Boo)

Usually time loops exist to make a character better, because they’re given some kind of epiphany that makes them the best and kindest version of themselves. (Alternatively, they can be used as the cosmic equivalent of a washing machine spin cycle if you’re writing horror) But what interests Me is the idea of using a time loop to make a character worse, which is what I’m doing to Ren (and to a lesser extent, Brand)

And it’s not just corruption for corruption’s sake, either! Ren, as she is, is miserable — she’s completely isolated, unable to achieve any of her goals, and ultimately ends up getting killed in an impersonal way for impersonal reasons — but once the loop begins and she gets her second chance, she starts to wear away at all her self-imposed barriers and boundaries until she can start making her own decisions and being an active agent in her own life. Of course, she’s not choosing to do good, but the best version of herself is not necessarily Good or Kind, it’s just Authentic.

Brand, on the other hand — because she has more support and isn’t as repressed — is experiencing the time loop less as a vehicle for character development, and more as a perpetual time travel fix-it (which is SO fun, having two characters get wildly different outcomes from the same experience). Her problems are more interpersonal rather than internal, so where Ren is using the extra time to understand herself, Brand uses it to understand the world around her (and is thus doing a much better job at actually solving the plot, we love a girlboss).

Brand’s conflicts are with her brother (who I can’t even Begin to explain without adding another thousand words to this post), and (as the leader of the local gang) with the police & the murder cult, which means that a lot of her loops are spent information-gathering (and murdering, dw abt it)

Personality-wise Ren is pretty quiet, she doesn’t like to ask for things which means she gets into miscommunications a lot (people not helping when she wishes they would, people helping when she doesn’t need it bc they think she just doesn’t want to ask), she’s a very “the only one you can rely on is yourself” kind of person, which isn’t exactly ideal for someone you’re stuck in a time loop with but at least it means she never gives up? She also doesn’t really care what people think of her — or rather, she does care, but she doesn’t let it stop her

Brand is suffering from a lethal combination of being the youngest sibling and simultaneously the eldest daughter, so she’s great at asking for help and using her resources but it means that she a) is a little entitled about it, and b) needs to feel like she has perfect control over everything or she’ll die. She’s very possessive and protective over things that she considers hers (hence murdering Ren for getting her people killed, it’s fine they get over it)

Renbrand also come equipped with two sets of narrative foils (Brand’s disabled ex-ballet dancer brother and his bodyguard/love interest, and the cult leader professor and his prized pupil who both hates and loves him for what he’s become) but the word count on this is already obscenely, embarrassingly long so I’ll talk abt them another day maybe

#ok!!! that should be enough for now #renbrand #scattered-winter #asks #half of this is just meta about time loops I’m so sorry #feel free to ask more questions!! clearly I can’t shut up abt them #I’ve drawn brand I think twice? both should be under my art tag on my side acct #but yeah that’s the basics #calling them renbrand like rembrandt bc im so clever (joking) #I would do a rembrandt style painting of them if shading and I weren't mortal enemies #[clenches fist] god I love time as a narrative device #love making a character experience all their worst moments again while also giving them the opportunity to change #god. wait. loreliese as the degas ballerinas I'm SO clever #okay okay shutting up now #hope this answers your question!!! #edited bc when I was transferring this over it SKIPPED A PARAGRAPH fucking christ #so yeah if the mention of the murder cult out of the blue confused anyone… that’s why #attys yapping ✨🌷💞

[bootlegfrank]

Noooooo tell me why bullets is your favorite!!!!! It won’t bore me at all:) you never do! The more you write the better I always get excited when your responses are on the lengthier side. You know it’s funny, my favorite mcr album was always danger days HAHA you with bullets as a fave and me with danger days CUTEEEEEEE. I WAS RIGHTTTT the fit was awesome if you were at my show I would’ve seen you and been eyeing you up heh WAIT DO YOU MEAN THE BLACK PARADE SHIRT LIKE THEEEE ONE THATS BLACK? THE CLASSIC ONE? BC IF SO THATS LITERALLY THE SHIRT I WORE LMAO STOP IT RN AKAKWJSHDHXHXH we’re so cute I’m crying my whole fit wassssss my Black Parade shirt, my fave (and only valid) pair of black jeans with rips in them, my docs, my fake leather jacket (rip it’s my og one I can’t wear it anymore), a choker, and for my makeup I did Frank’s revenge makeup>:))))) OOOO and for my merch I got the aforementioned Mikey fuckin way shirt, the one that’s the reunion version of the revenge cover, and the boyzone shirt IM SAD I DIDNT GET THE PORNSTAR ONE:’((((((( I bet it looks good asf on you though:) I STILL WANT A MYSTERY SHIRT TOO IM SO EMO THEY SOLD OUT:’(((( oh trust me I was dancing and shouting and screaming at my seat HAHAHA I bring pit level energy no matter where I am at shows. The people around me however… don’t and they’re laaaaaaameeeeeee HAHAHA YOU COMING FOR US AMERICANS STOPPPPPPPPPPPP HEHEHEHE you guys had an awesome setlist thoughhhhhhhh OMG SAME how you feel about na na na live was me with WTTBP. I skip that one a lot but getting to sing that with them live ohhhh I lost it I was crying NEVER SHUT UP ABOUT MCR!!!!!!! OOOO I love Trixie and Katya too!!!! NO OMG IVE NEVER SEEN THOSE VIDEOSSSSS do you have any links hehe

I DO KNOW YOU WELL^.^ you having the same personality type oh mannnnnnn OH YEAH your one post where you said you didn’t know who Joe Rogan was had me shook hahahaha I may haveeeeeeee started to watch Hannibal bc of our convo AKQKQKQJSUSYDYDYDUF I tried to watch it many years ago but gave up 10 minutes in. Now that I’ve seen some of it IM SEEING THE YOU AS HANNIBAL SHIT EVEN MORE OMFG. He is SO unfazed by everything and obviously into dark shit omg there was this one scene where he pricks his own finger and then licks the blood. If you’re him I’m definitely Will haha I’ve never told you this but I’mmmmm squeamish and watching this is reminding me just how fucking squeamish I am. You would have no reaction to any this meanwhile I’m being like WTF OMFG EWWWWW *insert horrified look* *insert me slapping my hand over my mouth* *insert me with wide eyes* HANNIBAL (the dude) IS WILDINGGGGGGGGGGGGGG it’s so shocking such an intense show the amount of times I’ve said what the fuck tonight HAHAHA

You definitely would abuse that information hehehehehe yeah? You like the nervous laugh thing? oh how I wish you could see me reading your responses. I nervous laugh SO much. I screamed into my pillow at something you said recently hehe you chuckling at me like that………..not in a mean way but bc you find the reactions cute….I’ve thought of this before I love it akajsjshdhdhcjcjdcj you chuckling like that at me is attractive as fuck

OMG you haven’t even heard of the horse cards WHATTTTTT I thought maybe that meant they were just American or something but NOPE I actually found the company that translated the cards into Dutch LOL that’s fascinating I didn’t realize they were so far reaching!!!! So cool. I didn’t actually trade them myself haha I just collected them (though I was way more of a Pokémon card kid). I looked up the Schleich horses they look nice!!! Really detailed and intricate. I also looked up your favorite horse breed hehehehe it’s cuteeeeeee “halefjar” me hearing the foreign language words like 👀 “Horses can feel it when you're scared” OH MAN IM FUCKED I hope you can get back into it!!!! And own your own Fjord horse heh time to start manifesting again AWE YES US HORSEBACK RIDING TOGETHER!!! I would feel much more at ease with you by my side^.^ AND THE CHEEK KISSES AH ALAKSKDJDJDJDJDJDJDJ OMG THE BIRDWATCHING BOOK THATS SO COOL what local bird is your favorite??? For me, my favorite are parrots:) specifically cockatoos but I like all parrots hehe NOOO I don’t currently have a cat:( I wishhhhh omg I have to ask….were you a warrior cats kid?

NO WAY you imagine taking my face into your hands too????? Agh you’re skwkwjshdhd so sajsjsjdjdhchc yeah alakwjshdhdjdjdjdjd imagining you running your thumb along my jawline mhmmm you could move my head however you want I’d be at your mercy. SNAKEBITESSSS that’s so sexy fuck goddamn I wonder what it would be like to kiss you I’ve never kissed anyone with that kind of piercing ever hahahaha god if you took my face into your hands when I was all shy I don’t even know what I would do god my breathing would be a mess my brain would be all blank. Clingy drunk you,,,,,it’s a need you being clingy would be…godsjjwjsdjdj us both drunk groping each other mhm thinking about what would make me the most flustered what a nice little experiment. We should test and see;) teasing me in public you’re really trying to get me to go insane mhmmmmm I would try to appear normal but then subtly get close to your ear and plead quietly. Maybe I’d tug on your hand to try to get you to go somewhere private. I can get pretty impatient and needy heh but it’s possible I’d also try to keep my composure and try to endure it while I’m melting on the inside. Soooo hard when I’m reactive though fuck hahaha thinking about if I’m into anything weird? Haha you little pervert<333333 I’d say so;)

Since you were so sweet and told me what you imagined, I’ll tell you what I thought about recently. I thought about waking up next to you and you touching me while I’m all sleepy and still lowkey out of it. Could even be a dream. Eyes hardly open. You murmuring in my ear while I’m squirmy and breathy and my brain isn’t even working yet. It just knows you’re making me feel good<33333 softly moaning your name, the only thing in my brain. It would be so easy to touch me with the way my shorts always end up riding up throughout the night heh

You absolutely are leaving an imprint on me baby I really can’t stop thinking about you. I’m so obsessed. The things I’d do if you asked. I love the fact I got you flustered a little;) I know that’s not easy so<333333 amazing you’re probably adorable when you’re flustered. You’d try to hide it but I’d notice and I wouldn’t be able to stop grinning. So glad to hear my words linger:) it’s so cute that you go to sleep hoping to wake up to my messages!!!! I do the same. You know sometimes I’ll wake up, grab my phone, and check your blog right away when I’m still out of it hehe I remember once it happened and you had responded and my heart palpitated so wildly>.< I hope this message finds you well hehehe kissing you on the forehead and nuzzling into your neck<33333

Okay okay hehe thank you for your sweet words cutie <3 I love Bullets because of how raw it is, you can tell from the album itself but also from the demos, you can tell how little lyrics were changed, how little intonation was changed, how little of the arrangement. The band was born out of a need to exist and you can tell, by god you can tell, and it captures me every time. I love the guitars, that budding New Jersey Emo sound that they leave in the dust later, the punk influences, how young Gerard still sounds, how well you can hear Mikey's basslines, Otter's drumming, heavy on the toms and cymbals, the frantic sound of the entire album, the influences in Ray's playing, how you can tell that Gerard is coming into his style of writing lyrics, cameos from their friends in backing vocals, the power and force and desperation behind every word and every note and every part of the album. I always love first songs by bands the most because they show the place the people were in when they realised they needed to start their band, when they realised the couldn't go on without letting everything out. I love all the songs individually too, Drowning Lessons made me cry the first time I heard it because that breakdown is just so damn gorgeous, but knowing how and why that album was made is what makes me love it so much. OMGGG we were wearing the same shirt that's so fucking cute!! Your outfit sounds so awesome, oh man I bet you looked so fucking good in it. Ooo the Boyzone shirt! I looove the print on that but I don't wear white often enough to justify buying it (or pink for that matter). Mannn that's so lame that people around you weren't as hyped-up as you, I bet you had the best energy in your entire section. I was moshing like crazy during WTTBP it was insane, seeing MCR live changed the vibe of so many of their songs for me, nothing compares to seeing them live, even songs you don't listen to all that often.

Ourgh I can't find any of the videos now but I will link them for you when I find them <3 Oh man that fucking Joe Rogan thing is going to haunt me forever, I don't even get why I was sent that ask in the first place by my mutual if it's apparently well-known that Joe Rogan is a major dickwad, I even asked around in my irl friend group and none of them know who he is either so I'm not living under a rock haha, I guess that just comes with being European xD I just finished Doctor Who so I suppose there's no better time to start watching Hannibal hehe, we'll essentially be watching it together! Ohh you mentioning him pricking his own finger makes me remember something I did when drunk once shfksjdf Me and a friend wanted to drink each other's blood so I sliced open my own palm, and then when I didn't feel like it was bleeding enough I poured vodka over it and into a shot glass to get it going shfkjfhdf The scar healed nicely but I had to wear a fingerless glove for a while xD It'd be so fun to watch Hannibal together with you hehe, I'd get to watch your cute reactions to all the intense scenes, it's so cute that you're squeamish <3 Aw babyy you screaming into your pillow like that is so cute, oh man, it's driving me insane a little. How cute you are in the way you react to my words... Makes me want to show you just how much that is doing to me <3

I used to collect those little fuzzy Filly horses! I had quite a lot of them hehe. Oh man one day I hope to have a Fjord, for now I guess I'll just have to make due with creating one in the sims x3 This is kinda stupid but I love jackdaws and pigeons, they're both the rats of the sky but I love them for it, ever-present wherever you go, daring little shits. Cockatoos are such cool birds, they come in such beautiful colour variations, and they're so intelligent!! Sdhfjksf I was a Warrior Cats kid hahaha, I was even on Scratch.mit.edu back in the day drawing Warrior Cats animations with my mouse x3 Were you also a Warrior Cats kid or did a different book series capture your attention?

Oh cutie you'd look so sweet with your face in my hands, big eyes looking into mine, that cute blush... Just the sweetest <3 Oh baby you know I wouldn't be able to keep my hands off of you when I'm drunk, especially when you're drunk too, all loose and giggly, I wouldn't be able to resist. Mhmm we should definitely test and see what makes you the most flustered, I bet I'll have fun with that ;) I'd try to keep composure when we're out, when I've been teasing you, but you know it'll only take a please or two for me to give in and take us home, I'm never able to resist you <3 Oh fuck, you imagining me touching you when you're still barely awake, oh that's doing things to me. Your brain's barely working but that's okay, it doesn't need to be working for me to make you feel good. Besides, I know just what you like, you're mine after all and I know exactly what to do and where to touch you to get you all cute and squirming under me. You laying next to me, one hand coming up to rub at your eyes while I'm touching you and whispering in your ear just how pretty you look, just how pretty your body responds to me, your little sighs so cute, your perfect moans. So easy to touch you hm? Well when you get yourself all perfect for me like that how can I not touch you when you're all sleepy and pliant?

Isn't it cute how much we're both thinking about each other so often, I'm in your head and you're in mine <3 I'd pull the hood of my hoodie down lower on my face when you get me flustered, trying to hide the blush starting at my ears, but I'd begrudgingly push the hood away when I see your delighted little smile <3 Awww baby your heart palpitating?? That's so adorable <33333 I'm kissing you right back on the forehead, and a kiss on the tip of your cute nose <3

#im nuzzling right behind your ear cutie <3 getting as close to you as i can #.nsft #asks

[babesonly]

fic recs 2.0!

hello kings (gn) ive got significantly more fic than last time which means this is gonna be a little more organized than the last post bc it is much longer <3 categories in order are non casefic canonverse, casefic/roadtrip fic, finale fixits, endverse, non supernatural aus, and then non destiel ones. titles will be in bold for my favs! also within each category they’re in order from shortest to longest

Canonverse

I’m a tulip in a cup by godtiering (1.2k)

I worry that I never really came back from hell. I wonder why, if I got remade by heaven, I’m still the same screwed up kid that I always was.

Sometimes I worry I’m not into women at all.

"Guess not,” he looks at his shoes.

a REALLY good fic that’s basically just a look inside dean’s head during my bloody valentine do not read this looking for a fun time but please do read it

on vessels by flightsofangels (1.9k)

“You know,” Cas mutters into Dean’s bare skin. “When I was still… an angel, I used to dream that I would take you as my vessel.”

hello consumehimnatural fans!!!!! read newt’s fic right now its incredible

dean winchester is not a nicholas sparks protagonist by microcomets (1.9k)

Dean fell in love with Cas the way you fall asleep--slowly, and then all at once. Or some other hackneyed and trite bullshit. God, this is embarrassing.

dean is in LOVE. he’s also a disaster who keeps staring at cas’ hands. sigh

Stay by aeli_kindara (2.5k)

Coda to 13.06 (Tombstone). In which Castiel reckons with the aftermath of Dean's grief.

hello fellow widow arc fans <3 click here to see cas find out abt the events of advanced thanatology !

walking on a string by swordfishtrombones (2.7k)

Between the doomed offensive at the Firmament and the impending retreat from the ravaged northeast border, Castiel left camp long enough to answer one of Dean Winchester's prayers.

S6 DEAN IS A WAR WIFE. been really into early seasons deancas lately and this one is very good. god

the flesh of the mighty by Mudprophet (2.7k)

Ezekiel 39:17 "you shall eat the flesh of the mighty and drink the blood of the princes of the earth."

MY GOD. anyone who saw the @autisticandroids​ purgatory cannibalism talk and was interested read this right now. also anyone who enjoyed nbc hannibal OR raw (2016). if romantic cannibalism is remotely aligned with your interests read this right now. god

Sam Winchester, Ally At Law by alittleduck (3.3k)

Sam was pretty sure he could read every single gay friendly guide to coming out or supporting queer family members ever written and literally none of them would even imply that arguing with gay people that they were actually just homophobic constituted as "ally behavior". However, Sam was equally sure that none of those book authors had found themselves accidentally watching their brother get pounded by an Angel of the Lord at 9 am on Tuesday, so Sam was pretty sure he might actually still have the higher ground. Now, if only Jack would stop trying to bond with Dean using gay slurs long enough for Sam to convince everyone of that, he might just be able to cobble together some remnant of sanity or, failing that, dignity.

Or, the one where Sam desperately wants to invent PFLAG but Dean won't stop teaching Jack gay slurs

JACK VOICE HEY COCKSUCKERS. 

hummed low by microcomets (3.3k)

Dean pulls the Impala over at a cider barn about thirty miles out; doesn't really think about it, just sees the hokey orange lettering off the roadside and lets his hands guide the Impala off the interstate with gravel spitting under the wheels.

they get a nice day out together and dean has a gay crisis and it’s written beautifully mwah

Vena Amoris and Other Old-Fashioned Bullshit by pyrebi (3.9k)

In which angelic marriage bonds are apparently stupidly easy to trigger, Cas wages multidimensional war in Heaven, Dean can't catch a break like ever, Sam rather enjoys being a dick, love saves the day, and nobody consummates anything.

sometimes i think about this fic and it hits that at this point dean and cas would have been married for more than a year. cas my beloved...

an exploration of gender; angelic by sometimeswelose (4k)

Castiel's true form is made of electromagnetic radiation. He has spent the majority of his life, if you really want to add it all up and average the whole thing out, as a wavelength of celestial intent.

The thing about being made of light: it's light in the physics sense of the word. Castiel's waves are gamma, x-ray, micro, and radio. He's visible light too, of course, a visible light so intense that it is blinding to most humans.

hello trans cas community <3 he’s literally trans he was assigned genderless and then went hm actually i will be a man! love of my life

Some Boys are Sleeping Alone by prosopopeya (4.2k)

This isn't something that's okay, not for him, but it chases him through the years until it turns into something he can't -- doesn't want to deny. 

ohhh deans tenuous relationship with his sexuality my beloved...

love. worship. consummation. consumption. by redeyedwrath (4.3k)

ConsumehimNatural (copyright marcusantonius) the Series!

These are all snapshots centered around the idea of you know. Hunger in Supernatural. Both carnal hunger and other kinds. Fics are shown in semi-chronological order but this series is generally nebulously early seasons.

for ANYONE who is a consumehimnaturual this is required reading it is INCREDIBLE and gorgeous and very visceral and i am so very obsessed with it. thank you redeyedwrath for enabling my brainrot

the reach of human sense by perilously (4.5k)

“You know what Jimmy Novak looked like. You think he was beautiful—gorgeous, hot, all of it. It’s him. Not me. This isn’t my face.”

“But,” Dean says. He doesn’t know where he’s going with it. Just that Cas’ face is right there, brows drawn together and cheekbones gleaming in the lamplight. It’s a face that’s made his heart skip probably a couple hundred beats collectively since they met.

And it used to belong to someone else.

this one is just very nice <3 cas gets uncomfortable w dean calling him attractive since dean has never seen his trueform and they work it out

Down in the River by Ias (4.7k)

Alone in Purgatory and hunted by Leviathans, Castiel finds himself praying to the one person who can't hear him.

cas i love you <3 cas alone in purgatory praying to dean bc dean is the only thing he still worships i love you so much

Creature of Habit by trinityofone (5.1k)

The more you love someone, the more you want to kill them. Or: How Cas developed some bad habits, and Dean coped surprisingly well.

written in s5 when cas was depowered and completely nails the later seasons bitchy husbands dynamic it’s very good and fun <3

sink by crackers4jenn (5.4k)

"Where to?" A 9.06 coda.

very bittersweet very well written and also canon compliant so do not go into this one looking for a happy ending but i DO recommend it it’s very good

Sensational by castiowl (6.1k)

“When I first came to earth, it was advised that we temper the senses bound to our vessels. They were a distraction, we were told. An antiquated form of experiencing existence that would hinder our ability to complete our missions, whatever that may be. My true form can better facilitate these experiences. What you would recognize as heightened senses of sight and sound, among other things.”

Or, how Dean helps Cas experience all five human senses for the first time in one night.

early seasons deancas man. i love the sound part i love dean being so worried about doing a good job with this. god. read this please

Something to Protect by Sass_Master (6.2k)

Dean’s violent reaction to being unexpectedly woken has become something of a running joke among them, but Castiel can’t help but look past it to the underlying cause. It makes him ache to think that Dean feels so unsafe, so persecuted, before he’s even fully conscious.

Secretly, Castiel has been determined to work on that, to ease Dean into awareness in a less jarring way, smooth away one of the many stresses that follow him even in sleep. Now’s as good a time as any to try.

oh to sleep more soundly in the presence of someone you love...this fic is very nice i enjoyed it a lot

all this and heaven too by ftmsteverogers (7k)

“Hey,” Dean said. “I’m not ashamed of you, okay?”

Cas raised skeptical eyes to meet his.

“I mean it,” Dean insisted.

“I understand you mean it,” Cas said. “But I don’t think it’s any better if you’re only ashamed of yourself.”

hello trans dean community here is 7k of trans dean having to deal with his internalized homophobia now that he’s sleeping with cas <3 it is SO good

The wilderness. by orange_crushed (8k)

He takes a shower and the pressure is not especially good, but it doesn’t matter. It’s warm and he stands under the spray a long time. Human skin, he knows, constantly renews itself, shedding the dead cells of the epidermis. He wonders how long it will take until he is an entirely new person, until every cell on his surface is a new one. He looks at his hands under the water. It might take less than a month.

this might be the only post 9x03 fic on here with a happy ending actually? plenty of good melancholy leading up to it though <3 canon divergent after 9x03 though which means no 9x06 fanfiction gap but it is absolutely worth reading

till the juice runs by deathbanjo (8.4k)

Apparently whoever drew up the venn diagram of Dean’s sex life decided the circle labelled ‘good sex’ and the one labelled ‘sex with men’ should be kept far apart.

hello this one is SO funny dean finally gets comfortable enough with his bisexuality to start having sex with men and it goes so very bad every time so sorry about your shitty choices beloved </3

First Date by aeli_kindara (8.9k)

“We should go on a date. You and me.”

Castiel wishes he could see Dean’s face. He wishes he had any idea what to say.

“I’m asking you out, Cas.”

this one is very sweet i liked it a lot <3 good refreshing little fic where they just get to have a nice evening together

Entertaining Strangers by cadignan (9k)

Dean settles on to his side, lying in the bed facing Castiel. “So you had sex without me and you bit all my moves. I think I deserve to hear about it, at least. What was her name?”

op im in love with you. premise is established relationship deancas and cas mentions he did have sex before dean and not only that it was a threesome. good for him <3 this fic is cas describing the story of what led up to the threesome and what happened during it while dean interrupts regularly. incredible

the shape you take by noviembre (10k)

“What?” Dean says, fake-offended. “I’d be hot as a girl, you know I would.”

And this is when he really, really should have stopped talking. When he shouldn't have whipped back around and asked, “Cas, if I was a woman, you’d fuck me, right?”

Because if he hadn’t said that, then he wouldn’t have had to deal with this:

Cas, meeting his eyes, forehead wrinkles all smoothed out like there’s nothing to be confused about anymore. Cas with something at the corner of his mouth that might barely be called a smile.

Cas saying, calmly and without hesitation, “Yes, Dean.”

--

Dean Winchester fucks around and, with the inadvertent help of some witches, Finds Out.

dean winchester your gender is diabolical. this fic is insane and its the only thing that matters actually. dean fully convinced its normal and straight to think about being a woman so you can fuck your male friend. incredible. op im proposing to you

Sinnerman by a_good_soldier (10k)

Dean listens to Nina Simone, reads Anne Carson, and makes out with a dude (sort of).

yall want to read about dean realizing he’s in love with a man as a direct result of learning to better respect women right?

you’re fooling yourself by cowboydeanwinchester (13k)

Dean Winchester and Castiel retire from hunting to raise baby Jack. Dean struggles to allow himself the things he truly wants.

Jack is two, Castiel and Dean are idiots, and Sam's gotta solve everyone's problems.

love a married couple who doesn’t know they’re married <3 everyone say thank you sam for bullying dean 

The Girlfriend Experience by rageprufrock (15k)

While it's not like Dean hasn't had a couple of truly regrettable hit-and-runs in his sexual history, this is probably the saddest fucking thing that has ever happened to him.

a classic for good fucking reason. we’ve all talked about dean thinking holding hands is too gay after having just had gay sex but my personal favorite was sam accusing dean of cheating on cas because dean bought condoms. incredible

No Kingdom To Come by domesticadventures (16k)

“We should fuck,” Dean says.

Cas looks up from where he sits on his bed, hair still damp from the shower, frowning as he places a finger on the page of his book to mark where he left off.

There are a million things Cas could say here; Dean has rehearsed them. After lunch, his restlessness had given way to a vague panic, a dread that matched his every step and crept along with him from room to room. Eventually, he had returned to his bedroom and spent the rest of the afternoon pacing back and forth, playing out all the possible scenarios. When Cas asks him Why? or Are you being serious? or when he sighs and says, in that way he has, Dean, he knows exactly what he’s going to do. He’s going to shrug casually, like he isn’t invested in the answer, like he isn’t desperate for an outlet, and say, Why not? He’s going to raise an eyebrow and say, What, are you not interested? He’s going to crowd into Cas’ personal space, he’s going to shove himself right up in there and whisper Cas against his ear.

Instead, Cas says, carefully, “Okay.”

literally the only quarantine fic i’ve ever bothered to read in any fandom and completely worth it it’s SO good. they become fwb and dean has an existential crisis and he keeps bringing up meaninglessness and death during sex

Bodies by Speary (18k)

It was a secret they never acknowledged even with each other. It would change everything, end everything if either of them ever dropped the act. So they became very good at acting, at keeping up the lie that gave them what they wanted. Even if that lie involved constantly seeking out temporary, consenting female vessels, Cas would do it. He told himself it was worth it for Dean. He just hoped that he could stop wanting more, or maybe one day Dean might stop pretending that he wasn't really sleeping with Cas every time.

i don’t even have anything to add tbh if that summary did not immediately make you click we are very different this fic is incredible. god. fellas do you ever make yourself a woman so you can fuck the man you love without him having to talk about it or confront his sexuality

it’s such a mystery (the way you know me) by fleeceframe (20k)

So the man crouching in front of Castiel is named Dean. He wonders if that’s supposed to mean something to him.

“Cas must’ve got hit with something earlier. He just dropped like a sack of fucking potatoes a minute ago. By the time I was checking on him, he had already woken up again, but now he doesn’t fucking know who we are.”

“I’m right here you know,” Castiel says testily.

Sam’s eyes are wide even as his eyebrows are furrowed, and he looks between Dean and Castiel again.

“What do you remember, Cas?”

“Firstly, that I’m not Cas. I don’t know who Cas is, but it’s not me. I don’t know who either of you are, either."

or the one where castiel is hit with a memory curse that makes him forget the winchester brothers and is stunned to find out he has a family... also why can't he stop thinking about dean?

BEST amnesia fic oh my god. cas my beloved you deserve the world. everyone read this that is not a request.

More Than Ever by Sass_Master (20k)

Dean’s getting some pancakes together for breakfast when Cas saunters in after a run.

He’s trying to focus on whisking batter, unfairly distracted by Cas a few feet away, breathing heavily and shining with perspiration. Dean’s been painfully aware for a long time that Cas is pretty easy on the eyes, but he’s used to seeing Cas buttoned-up and unflappable, looking straight-laced in a stiff oxford and an unflattering trenchcoat.

Now Cas is sweating, Dean’s borrowed t-shirt clinging to his skin, flushed from exertion and Dean really can’t deal with that in his kitchen right now.

this entire series is really good i enjoyed it a lot, i’m just putting this one specifically on the list bc the rest of the series is very explicit and this is really good as a standalone for anyone who wouldn’t be into the rest of the series!!

Being Dean Winchester by Anonymous (20k)

"You should show me some respect. I dragged you out of hell. I can throw you back in."

Who the fuck was this bitchy "warrior of God" doing talking to him like that? Fuck Cas-tee-el and his dumbass trench coat and abrasive motherfucking attitude.

Dean was done with this shit.

***

Wherein a monster of the week steals the essence of Castiel's vessel, so he must use Dean, recently raised from hell, as a vessel instead.

it is at this point i realize that there are more fics than i expected there to be on this list that involves a threesome with only two people/using the presence of a female body to act like what’s happening is heterosexual. deangirlism is a disease 

I Shall Not Want by domesticadventures (20k)

His grace is burning out, and the wasteland it leaves inside him becomes an echo chamber for all the memories, all the fear and doubt and self-loathing he's collected over the years. Things said and done hound him on endless repeat until he's convinced they’ll break through his skin and fill the silence of the bunker.

His head is killing him, and he sits hunched over an open book, not really reading, just digging his fingers into his skull and praying nothing slips through the cracks.

this one is GORGEOUS i love it so so much. dean and cas are both struggling so much to get by and they’re trying to support each other but fucking it up and they have to grow together and learn to cope with the fact that this is where their lives are and they fall in love i need everyone to read this

To Boldly Go by 8daysuntiltheapocalypseiguess (24k)

Title: Just One of Those Things Author: Impala67 Series: TOS Rating: M Summary: Four years into their five-year mission, and all the planets start to look the same.

In which Dean is not Gene Roddenberry, but he does write Star Trek fanfiction.

mx winchester writing star trek fanfiction to process his own trauma <3 this is a wip but it’s SO good and i also have not consumed a single piece of star trek media so it IS definitely readable to anyone who isn’t a star trek fan. please read this

where the weeds take root by deathbanjo (30k)

“Are you happy? Y’know. Just—being here,” Dean says, gesturing to the yard with his beer bottle. “Being with—I mean, you used to fight in celestial wars and—and save the world. Now you’re growing vegetables and talking about chickens.”

this is on here just for the 1.5 people who were putting off this one like i did for no reason. it’s extremely good and it is just gentle. i enjoyed it a lot

Heroes for Ghosts by pantheon_of_discord (42k)

After Sam and Dean are arrested, Castiel is left alone and scrambling to find them. He knows they’re locked away in a government facility, and he’s still able to hear their prayers, but no matter how he tries Castiel can’t seem to track them. He chases leads and even attempts to hunt on his own, but Mary is AWOL, Crowley refuses to help, and Castiel’s options are running out.

Weeks pass, Castiel’s hope dwindles, and through it all Dean prays, keeping them connected. His voice is comforting, frustrating, and occasionally annoying, but in his solitude Castiel comes to cherish it. But then one day, without warning, Dean stops praying, and Castiel is forced to confront some uncomfortable truths about his feelings.

yall ever wonder what it would’ve been like if the sam and dean arrest storyline in s12 was interesting? yeah <3

Teaching Poetry to Fish by aeli_kindara (52k)

In which Castiel teaches poetry to fish. Also, himself. Also, eventually, Dean.

(A series-long story, diverging slightly from canon after S14.)

cas learning about humanity through poetry before dean and thats what led to him developing enough emotion to be lobotomized....cas i love you so much

Emergence by ellispark (58k)

Something’s been missing from Dean’s life for the past three years, a void left after a hunt gone terribly wrong. He often feels a sense of longing with no discernible cause, a need to talk to someone who isn’t there.

A call from an acquaintance leads Dean to James Novak, a man who disappeared more than a decade ago, and suddenly Dean gets the feeling he’s found what he’s been missing. But James isn’t really James — he’s the angel Castiel, who’s wanted by angels, demons and hunters alike. And he may be at the center of the storm that wrecked Dean’s life all those years ago.

another cool amnesia fic!! for unknown reasons everyone forgot cas three years ago but cas didn’t forget anything. cas deserves so much love and support. god

a turn of the earth by microcomets (95k)

Dean’s your typical half-orphaned, monster-killing 22-year-old until a trenchcoated stranger crashes into his back windshield one September night, claiming he’s an angel that knows him from the future and that he’s on the run.

Frigging fantastic.

(Or, in which Castiel gets stuck in Dean’s timeline preseries and Dean kind of hates it—until he doesn’t.)

cas getting to meet and fall in love with pre hell dean just as much as he loves the dean he already knows oh my GOD. i love this fic so much. turn of the earth my beloved

Crossing Lines by sometimeswelose (122k)

Two Deans, one Cas - it's not as sexy as it sounds

Or

An ethics lesson from Hell

Or

The one where Dean from the past meets Dean in the present. They're not sure they like each other very much.

deans intense self hatred vs cas’ unwavering love for every version of dean oh my GOD also this is a wip fair warning but it’s so worth waiting for updates i’m having such a great time with this one i cannot wait to see how it gets ended

Plot Holes by saltyfeathers (160k)

Of course it wasn’t over after the apocalypse.

There was season six. Then there was season seven. Against all expectations, there was season eight. There were the alphas and purgatory, and then the Leviathans, and then the angels fell. Enter season nine. Loose threads Metatron, Abaddon, and Crowley have to be tied up. Sam, Dean, and Cas have to try to tie them while at the same time dealing with their evolving relationships and newfound graceless states.

Amidst all the chaos, someone has started publishing the Supernatural novels again. Convinced there’s something amiss in the pages, Charlie starts her own quest to suss out the truth behind the Winchester Gospels.

With the help of various faces, old and new, they must now not only deal with the typical runs of demons and recently fallen angels, but also reconcile the battles raging inside themselves, as the fate of the world, once again, quite literally lays in the palm of their hands.

saltyfeathers said i WILL make the plot holes in this show mean something because the showrunners are sure as shit never gonna adress them ! and i thank them for it bc this was a really cool read

Casefic/Roadtrip Fic

Deprived Of Every Planet by KelpietheThundergod (9k)

Dean's breathing is audible in the scant space between them, irregular. The motel room is dark, pale blue shadows falling in through the gaps in the blinds. Throwing a pattern of uneven white stripes over the bunched up covers. Over Dean's fingers twisted in the sheets. One half of him in shadow, softened by the dark. The heat of his skin. The tremble of him under Castiel's touch.

He caresses a hand over Dean's chest, slowly. Dean's mouth falls open, his body arching into Castiel's touch. Castiel stops over Dean's heart. Through the fever of his desire, he rejoices about the wonder of experiencing another's heartbeat through one's own senses.

Dean gasps, but then he turns his face away and towards the dark. Eyes closed tight and brows furrowed like something is hurting him.

Castiel stills.

“Dean?”

the case is background on this one but it Does take place over the course of a case so im putting it here. god touchstarved dean trying so hard to work through his shit for cas head in my hands i love this fic so much

before and after breakfast by spocklee (10k)

The monster of the week is a ghost who hates meat, alcohol, and feeling yourself. Guess who it is during the commercials.

chapter 2 of this one.....god. dean and cas you are both so unwell <3 i love everything abt this fic everyone read it now

we shovel all the ashes out by xylodemon (15k)

Dean’s always known things were headed this way. He just figured getting dragged under would be cleaner and easier than jumping in feet-first.

fics that make you go Oh they love each other...also there’s lesbians in it literally what else could you want.

thunder road by dothraki_shieldmaiden (20k)

After Chuck is defeated and the Winchesters settle into life without God, Dean Winchester is bored.

OR: Dean and Cas take a road trip and figure out some stuff along the way.

this fic is just like. it’s kind! this fic is kind it’s just a pleasant experience and i enjoyed it thoroughly. they’re in love and it’s good

Suck It, Judy Garland by GlitterDwarf, midrashic (20k)

It had to be St. Louis. Or, the one where Sam and Cas get fake married for a case, and Dean loses his mind.

actually im gonna defend dean here imagine youre dean and cas gives what definitely sounded like a deathbed love confession while making eye contact with you and then immediately afterwards fake dates your brother. who among us would not have been a bitch about this

best friends without benefits by lizbobjones (20k)

It’s nearing three a.m. and they’ve been on the road a long time. Sam’s been asleep in the back seat since eleven. Giving up and handing the wheel over to Cas and letting the guy who doesn’t sleep drive had seemed like a good idea.

the premise of this fic is so funny. cas voice dean you want to fuck me so bad it makes you look stupid. everyone read this

the taste of gravel in the mouth by deathbanjo (22k)

This is what Cas gave up Heaven for: greasy diner food, shitty motel rooms with even shittier cable, long car rides spent in complete silence except for the same six tapes playing over and over again, and a burnt-out husk of a man who can barely hold a conversation anymore.

alt version of getting rid of the mark of cain, the darkness never happens. this one is VERY heavy but it’s so good and it has a hopeful ending. ive read this one twice and loved it both times

Someone Who’s Feeling For Me by ellispark (45k)

Dean sees her for the first time in nearly six years in some no-name town in Idaho, and it's panic at first sight.

Lisa Braeden, the one woman Dean ever actually had a shot at a real life with, back from where he buried her in his mind. And her hand is on Cas's arm like it's no big deal, like it belongs there. Cas, Dean's dorky, sweet, badass, angelic best friend, and he's just standing there next to Lisa and not moving her hand away.

Dean feels the jealousy rising, and it's not directed where he expected it to be. Because it takes this exact moment for Dean to realize he's in love with his best friend. He's in love with his best friend, and Lisa is looking at Cas like he's the best thing since automatic rifles, and Dean is utterly fucked.

hello op please contact me. please contact me and let me see the inside of your brain. this fic was an unparalleled experience and everyone should also go through it. i love it so very much

Bumper Cars by mansikka (111k)

Two teenagers are missing from an abandoned carnival, and there’s enough to raise suspicion that their disappearance involves a ghost. Dean, Sam, and Cas arrive in town to investigate, though what they find leads them away from those teenagers, and on the trail of a ghost story that churns up things from their past.

Can newly-human Cas, and Dean, with the help of shipper!Sam, work out the mystery behind the abandoned carnival and its ghost, and along the way, figure out the riddle that is them?

one of my absolute fav case fics it forces dean to confront some aspects of johns parenting and work through some shit and also him and cas fall in love and it’s really well done. love this one a lot <3

Finale Fix-its/Finale Denial

Sorry Jimmy by K_K_TiBal (2.1k)

Based on the tumblr textpost:

jellydeans: so are cas and jimmy novak just up in heaven existing at the same time katebushstandean: #jimmy moves to heaven timbuku so that dean stops trying to make out with him every time they run into each other at the heaven grocery store

this one is just extremely funny. local midwestern heterosexual man is forced to play relationship counselor to the dumbest gay people in existence because one of them wore his face

Dean Winchester Really Needs To Make Some Gay Friends by AreYouReady (2.2k)

“Like, I’m trying to think if I’ve had, I don’t know, crushes. If I ever had a gay thing before you came along and just didn’t notice,” Dean said.

Cas suddenly looked down, and away from Dean. If Dean didn’t know better, he would swear Cas looked guilty.

“What is it, Cas?”

“You have had several… gay things before.” Cas still wouldn’t look at him.

“What? When? How come you know this better than I do?”

There was no way the answer to this question wasn’t funny as hell.

dean learning about gay ppl via the memories of dean smith...incredible.

tiny difference (between ending and starting to begin) by sunforgrace (2.4k)

Sometimes Dean catches Cas staring at the sky.

It doesn’t happen often. Not when Dean’s around to tell, anyway. But often enough that he starts to notice.

Eventually Dean starts to recognize the pattern.

Cas just doesn’t watch the sky. He watches the birds.

Chuck is gone, Cas is human, and the world is safe. In the quiet aftermath Dean and Castiel find each other again.

i really don’t have much to say abt this one it is just very good and they love each other so much

Bring Home by cenotaphy (3.8k)

Dean's phone doesn't ring on the drive back to the Bunker, but that's okay. Because—well, maybe Cas lost his cell, what with getting shuffled back and forth between a cosmic void dimension and all. And anyway, Dean doesn't want this conversation to happen over the phone, he wants to—he wants to talk to Cas face-to-face. They should talk face-to-face.

Dean will tell him—

Dean doesn't know what he'll tell Cas. Dean is, in fact, terrified by how utterly and completely he does not know what he'll say to Cas.

cas being forced to face the consequences of sending the risky text that was despair <3

dean’s coworkers vs the heteronormative agenda by cowboydeanwinchester (4.1k)

Dean started working at a local auto repair shop in Lebanon, Kansas about a year ago. His coworkers don't know much about him. Except that he has a wife. Or maybe he doesn't. But he has a kid. Who is either a toddler or a high schooler. Who is either named Jack or Sammy. He also might have a best friend named Cas, but that also might be his wife.

Truth is nobody knows what to make of Dean.

obsessed w people not knowing a single fucking thing about dean because he talks so much and never explains anything. this fic is SO funny

Enhanced Extraction Techniques by goldenraeofsun (5.8k)

The Empty takes Meg’s shape, Samandriel’s, Duma’s, every one of the thousands of angels Cas killed up in heaven. But in the middle of lecturing Cas in the form of Balthazar, it explodes in a burst of light and sound.

Dean Winchester stands in the aftermath.

the empty playing mind games on an awake cas bc it can’t put him to sleep is a thing i like a lot and this is very very good 

Speak Silence No More by rea_sunshine (8.1k)

When Dean imagined this moment, it went like this:

Dean bursts into the Empty—guns blazing, chin high, righteous anger coursing through him. No matter what form his plans and fantasies and whiskey-drunk-whispered-promises took, he is always, always successful. When he imagined it, he was finally the hero Cas deserved.

The reality of the moment is this:

It’s fucking cold.

dean and cas STILL managing to not communicate with each other properly after the confession is so funny to me and this fic does it really well. also i like that a human being in the empty, where humans do NOT belong, had some like. consequences

my heart is a compass by lagaudiere (10k)

“There you are,” the Empty says, in Dean’s voice. It’s cold, like Dean’s eyes are cold, his expression set in contempt. It’s the expression Cas feared, he realizes, all the times he thought about saying it. Revulsion. It makes him feel sick in the way that goes beyond physical, here where there is nothing physical left.

The moment before it happened had been so sweet it covered up all the hurt. For years, Cas had been holding back those words, biting down on his tongue to keep from saying them. And now he had said it, and he knew that it was good, knew that it was worth it. But on the other side there is only this.

--

In the Empty, Cas dreams of his regrets, until someone comes looking for him.

one of thee best dean rescues cas from the empty fics out there i love the way his memories are written i love how many of them were ones that this fic came up with to give me new things to have brainworms over instead of just making me more fixated on He Watched Him Rake Leaves than i already am

killing time by orestespdf (11k)

It's been four years since Dean saved Cas from the Empty and confessed his feelings in return, and in their Vermont lakehouse, the retired couple is now learning how to heal. One morning, Dean gives Cas a haircut.

(A character study of Castiel.)

perfect fic perfect fic no notes no complaints they love each other so much and now dean is giving cas a haircut and they’re spending the day together. god.

and every time we kiss, i swear i can fly by knameless (14k)

Every time, Dean tells himself it’s the last.

--

aka, twelve times dean and cas kiss.

a just boy best friends kiss for every season <3 mwah

for which no words exist by MediaWhore (14k)

'a prayer for which no words exist' // richard siken

"Dear Cas who art in my bathtub, give me the strength to be honest about how I feel. For your sake and for mine. Forgive me all the times I wasn’t in the past, all the words I should have said but didn’t. And please stay. Please stay with me when all is said and done. Amen. "

Dean rescues a newly human Cas from the Empty. That's the easy step.

mediawhore i am in LOVE with you oh my god this fic. this fic. dean taking care of cas after rescuing him dean wrapping cas in a blanket oh my GOD

swimming with the fish pond fish by februyuri (17k)

Some time between Dean bleeding out on a makeshift hook in a barn in Ohio and Sam making marshmallows on his funeral pyre, Dean was brought back to life. By Castiel. Again. Dean agreed to it if only to give Jack time to work out the glitches up top. So, now Dean’s back in the land of the living and things are ... actually good, for once.

Or, as good as they can be when demons are attacking Earth, Dean’s failing to get over why he died in the first place, and Cas is suddenly, inexplicably taking every opportunity to casually tell Dean that he loves him.

this is a wip! but it is so good and so worth the read i love it a lot and am very excited for the last chapter. it IS pretty heavy though dean has a LOT to work through

looking like a true survivor (feeling like a little kid) by courfeyrac (20k)

"Jack’s a clever kid—has been ever since he was born, maybe even before that—but Dean’s pretty sure he hasn’t figured out where they’re going yet. And Dean’s… Dean’s excited about it. He remembers planning surprises for Sammy when they were little—saving up quarters and sneaking off to the arcade the year he turned seven, or slipping a book Dean had seen Sammy admiring into his jacket before sprinting out of the store the year he turned twelve. There was only so much Dean could give him back then, hindered by lack of finances and transportation and a father who paid attention. Now, though, Dean’s got a wallet full of cash, a tank full of gas, and the freedom to give his kid the kind of birthday he deserves."

Or, it's Jack's fourth birthday, and the kid wants to go to Build-A-Bear.

EVERYONE READ THIS RIGHT NOW. that is not a request this fic undid me. oh my god. oh my god. they’re a family and they’re going to build a bear and they love each other. oh my god. also no it isn’t a baby jack fic he is 4 and he is also alcal

what’s missing is found (our souls can exhale now) by sobsicles (27k)

It's not the first time Claire has ever gone missing. It is, however, the first time Kaia panics about it. Dean's dragged into the mess, but he soon finds that it's the best thing that could have happened to him.

~~~

"But have you ever just met someone and maybe it wasn't from the first moment, maybe it was after all these other moments that meant more than you ever expected them to, and it seems like your soul just—just—" Kaia makes a helpless gesture with her hands, pushing out, and she breathes out loudly. "Like it can finally exhale. And that person isn't guaranteed to make you happy, but they're—they're important. You just know it, you can't even escape it, you can't let them go. Ever met someone like that, Dean?"

"I—" Dean halts, his mouth hanging open. He's looking at Kaia, who's looking at him, and his heart is fluttering in his throat like a caged bird aching to soar again. His mind threatens to spiral out of control, but he focuses, swallowing hard. "Yeah. Um. I—yeah, I have."

deancas AND dreamhunter we love to see it also dean DOES smoke weed with kaia and apologizes for pulling a gun on her what more could you want in a fic

Command Me To Be Well by prospopeya (28k)

Dean did a lot of thinking about when and how he would get Cas back. Months of it, actually, stretching into a year, because while Sam and Eileen were settling into their new lives, Dean was stuck. He was stuck in a faraway corner of the bunker, dark and empty and hollow, ringing with the sound of a vibrating phone.

So when he falls to his knees in that same room, exhausted, hurting, breathless, and he feels a hand on his shoulder and looks up to see Cas, he realizes that he doesn't have a single clue about what to do now. Getting Cas out had been easy--actually, it'd been the opposite of that--but the planning of it, the methodical desperation of one attempt after the other had been a familiar rhythm. It'd been soothing almost, solid, something to focus on that wasn't Cas's eyes, watery and jubilant in a way Dean hadn't ever seen that up close on anyone, let alone Cas.

And now Cas is pulling him to his feet, and Dean's stumbling, and he instinctually grabs Cas's arm, and his hand lights up with a fire that he isn't prepared for.

"Hello, Dean."

oh post despair lack of communication....oh dean refusing to work through his feelings...this fic is incredible i love it everyone who enjoys dean doing everything in his power to avoid talking about feelings up to and including having sex with the guy who’s in love with him multiple times should read this

break the skin (to break the barriers) by sobsicles (29k)

The first time she meets him, he's nothing more than an almost-missed appointment.

SOBSICLES TATTOO FIC MY BELOVED. dean grieving and getting tattoos and it turns into tattoo therapy. im SO in love with mitzi it’s insane. requires some suspension of disbelief for how long a tattoo takes but it’s an incredible fic and an unparalleled experience. sobsicles does not miss

ascend by quiettewandering (53k)

Something in the world is wrong.

Demon activity is rising where mysterious black substance oozes and unusual ecological events are shaking the world. Dean, grief hanging on his shoulders, restlessly searches for answers that might lead him to the Empty… and to Cas.

But what Chuck wrote can’t be undone. The narrative thread pulls Dean along, forcing him to comply. Because once a story already has an ending, it can’t be rewritten.

Or can it?

SUPER cool concept i liked this a lot i’m pretty sure everyone’s read it already but just in case someone hasn’t you absolutely should

oh sooner or later it all comes down to faith by sobsicles (62k)

Getting used to Heaven is something of a marvel. It ain't perfect, and Dean thinks he'd hate it if it was, which is probably why it isn't.

~~~

"You don't understand," Dean whispers, exhaling shakily. "I know you don't, because even I don't. The instant you were gone, I wanted you back. Cas, I wanted you back. I wanted—I wanted—"

Cas stares at him, searching his face. After a moment, his own face falls slack, eyes widening just so. "Oh," he breathes out.

Dean wants to be furious that Cas has figured it out before he has—whatever it is—but he's not even that surprised. Cas knows him too well, always has, even more than Dean knows himself. He's been kicking Dean in the goddamn teeth with how deeply he understands him, even about the things Dean doesn't, ever since they first met. You don't think you deserve to be saved, that's what Cas had said. All bundled up in impossibilities and power, this being that looked at Dean Winchester and knew every single inch of him, as if he had a right to each part.

"What?" Dean grits out.

"I love you, too."

the ONLY heaven fic. i do not read heaven fics bc i refuse to budge in my finale denialism i refuse to read fic where it is accepted that dean dies. i was hesitant to read this but god im glad i did it was so good. literally the best possible outcome of dean dying

Endverse

final fantasy. by orange_crushed (1.9k)

“If I’d actually been born human, would I have gotten sick like everyone else? Would I be running around gnawing on the neighbors?” Castiel tilts his head up and even from here Dean can see the black ring of his pupils, wide and dark as dead stars. He’s high as fuck and he’s been loading the guns for forty-five minutes. He stares into the space where Dean is. He smiles and shows his teeth. “Maybe you’d have already put a bullet in my head.”

"This is why you don’t lead storytime anymore," Dean says. "This kind of shit."

endverse last night on earth fics are something that can be so personal actually. god

The Last Song by Moorishflower (3.5k)

The very last song is the Song of Solomon, and Castiel sings it only for Dean. Set in "The End."

this is like. pre endverse and the tone is so like. wistful? is the best word ive got? it’s gorgeous i love it but fair warning there is graphic description of like. viscera and infected wounds

to think that we could stay the same by cipherwriter (6.5k)

cas has all he needs; himself, his creation, and enough power to continue this cycle for a long time. he's fine. dean wants to take care of him anyway.

oh my GOD this one is good it’s based off the thing of how originally endverse cas was supposed to be just sitting in a room killing and resurrecting the same cockroach over and over. very bittersweet at some points i love it a lot, do not read it if youre looking for something happy though lmao

the first church at the end of the world by withbloodstainedclothingon (11k)

The angels don’t eat the brain. Only Croats do that.

this one is fucked but it’s incredible it contains very heavy and violent subject matter and cas is an Actual cult leader he doesn’t just have orgies it is SO well done and i had a great time reading it i recommend it very highly if the warnings sound like something you can stomach

Down to Agincourt by seperis (1.1 million. i know. yes it’s a wip)

There is no such thing as a guarantee when it comes to war.

The outcome's known. Why try? Return your rusty sword to battered sheath, bow your head and bend your stubborn knee. Why take the field when you cannot win the war? But Harry -- he went down to Agincourt.

PLEASE. i know the length is intimidating i KNOW it’s a very long fic but please. please read down to agincourt i am begging you. head in my HANDS this series is incredible.

Non Supernatural AUS

Long-Term Relationship by bendingsignpost (2.7k)

Castiel says, budging over to make room for Dean on the couch, “I thought we should have a serious talk about our relationship.”

Reflexively, Dean laughs.

Castiel does not.

“Uh, Cas... you know we’re not dating, right?”

look man it’s bendingsignpost okay. it’s bendingsignpost it’s good and it’s sweet and you should read it

One White Lie by komodobits (11k)

Castiel takes a deep breath and rings the doorbell. He doesn’t need to run through what he’s going to say – he’s already planned and edited and rehearsed it a thousand times. He is going to ask Dean Winchester out to dinner. If it’s not too forward, he’ll say, perfectly charming. You see, I’ve seen you around the neighbourhood and you always seem so earnest and I’d really like to get to know you bette— The door swings open, and Castiel panics.

He intends to excuse himself. He means to apologise and come back some other time. However, in a moment of blind fear, what comes out of his mouth instead are the words, “Could you spare a moment for Jesus Christ?”

do you ever pretend to be a jehovahs witness for months to hang out with the guy you like because you fucked up asking him out? yeah.

separate ways and sleeping dogs by sobsicles (53k)

Dean is three years sober when Cas comes back into town.

~~~

For a moment, they just stare at each other. Dean, once again, has to swallow the urge to offer to swallow something else. It's very hard to resist the gut-wrenching pull of want that hooks in his chest whenever he looks at Cas. And to think, he used to have him, used to be able to act on that want.

God, he's so fucking stupid.

Well, there's no point in kicking himself three years later for shit he can't change. He'll just sit right here and pretend that his fingers aren't twitching with the urge to reach out and touch. He can't do that anymore, and it's his own damn fault.

"Three years ago," Cas prompts.

Dean huffs a weak laugh. "Yeah. Eventful."

this fic hit me SO hard emotionally oh my god. don’t have much to say bc most of my thoughts on this fic are very personal but my god read this please

Everyone’s a Critic by Englandwouldfall (109k)

The one where uninspired chef Dean Winchester has a one night stand with the male (!) food critic who described the flavour of his garlic bread as 'closeted' and accidentally ends up dating him to try and prove that he's a kick ass chef, thank you very much.

(He may have a point about the 'closeted' thing).

this one is SO fun. dating the food critic who called your garlic bread closeted and lying about your career because you’re embarrassed and you want to redeem your food in his eyes but then you fall in love with him

Non Destiel Centric

gender? you mean that thing i have that pisses people off? by bigender dean winchester (homosexualitie) (946 words)

sam and dean paint each other's nails and dean abuses the technicalities of her gender. what more could you want? 

HELLO HE/SHE DEAN COMMUNITY oh my god the pure rush of euphoria reading this. oh my god. oh my god. 

the quiet road to a distant city by rottingbrains (1.2k)

Sam stares out the windshield again. They’re approaching a city, and she can see the lights in the distance. She’s past the danger zone, and she feels like the world around her reflects that in some way she can’t put into words- as if God is telling her that it’s okay. She did the right thing, and soon she will be past the lonely unknown and into the warm, forgiving light of acceptance. Or something. Come to think of it, the lights only look warm from far away, and she knows that the actual city will seem far less welcoming. Still. Best not to imagine the worst when it’s already going well.

required reading for transfem lesbian sam fans. fics that live in your ribcage to make your heart feel good

Four People Ruby Seduced & One She Actually Fell For (Or: Ruby's Epic Love Affair with Humanity in General and Sam in Specific) by tuesday (3.7k)

In which Ruby has a lot of sex, is not any kind of therapist that would be legal, and helps a few people out for her own reasons. (S4/S5 AU)

for everyone out there who enjoys ruby being a girlboss <3

Fractured Link by Trell (orphan_account) (5.5k)

Meg goes on, resolute despite the way Dean flinches, "He likes me. He likes me a lot, and I like him back, and that's probably good enough for both of us. But fuck me for saying so, Dean-o, he loves you, probably more than anything else on his daddy's green Earth, and you need to man up and give back what Clarence over there has been devoting to you for years."

this is meg/dean/cas which is not smth i really seek out but this was extremely good. set in s7 so it’s meg and dean and honey cas and it’s a lot of dean figuring his shit out and trying to forgive cas and i love meg a lot in this

#spn #supernatural #destiel #deancas #mine

[areyougonnabe]

Fic Writer Questions!

tagged by @palamedessextus !!! thank u i love to procrastinate on writing by writing about writing

1) How many works do you have on AO3?

110 on my main account (+ 4 on my sneaky sock for Crimes™ lol)

2) What’s your total AO3 word count?

614,551 on my main account which is. hm. a lot

3) How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

obvi the main ones are the terror (50 fics) and good omens (35 fics). beyond that: TMA, the OA, doctor who, LOST, red dwarf, what we do in the shadows, the aubreyad, legends of tomorrow, banished, MCU, bbc ghosts, jeeves & wooster, russian doll, true detective, twin peaks, fleabag, & it's always sunny.

so technically 19, but wow a LOT of those are because i am a fiend for crossovers. (true detective x red dwarf... twin peaks x hannibal... the OA x lost.... russian doll x doctor who...) and many of the others were one-offs for yuletide. i'm pretty monofannish when it comes to writing!

4) What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

lol they're all going to be for good omens... let's see

1. "it's a new craze" - the podcast fic. imho this fic is the definition of "The Claw," a.k.a. the phenomenon that sees some fics plucked out from the fray to become super popular. i'm not denying that it's good! i still think it's pretty clever! but its popularity was probably as much a function of timing as of quality

2. "what a way to make a living" - the uber driver fic. honestly still pretty proud of this one, it flows well and is structurally interesting and genuinely very funny and the perfect length. i had a blast in good omens fandom writing comedic fic, this one

3. "dearly departed" - another one i'm still very happy with. my first ever finished multi-chapter fic & the story that proved to me i could sustain a plot and original characters and also that people would actually enjoy it. so a pretty big deal!

4. "blame it on my juice, baby!" - the fake love potion one. i wrote this fic while delirious with horrible fever cooped up in a tiny council flat airbnb bedroom in london. i think it's still pretty strong although since writing it i've developed a severe aversion to the "meddling friend engineers a get-together" trope in fic & so cringe a bit when i read it back, lmao

5. "greatest hits" - the one with the original songs! the songs are still good.... the fic is ehhhhhhh i guess.

5) Do you respond to comments, why or why not?

i don't respond to comments on most of my gomens fic anymore because 🤷‍♀️ but i do try to reply to everything i get on my terror fic/smaller fandom stories! my replies are usually very lame but i do like to take the time to thank people for reading.

6) What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

i usually don't write angsty endings because i'm a weenie BUT the one exception is probably my terror/TMA crossover which cannot be said to end well by any means lol

7) What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending?

dearly departed has a very lovely ending... i will also plug my OA fic heat rises which is GREAT and has a GREAT ending and nobody read it because nobody watched the OA. i'm fine it's fine

8) Do you write crossovers? If so what is the craziest one you’ve written?

as mentioned above, yes, compulsively... award for craziest simply has to go to It's Always Sunny In Another Dimension which is, yes, an IASIP x OA crossover. i apologize for nothing

9) Have you ever received hate on a fic?

not that i can recall, [bubbe voice] tenks gad!!!

10) Do you write smut? If so what kind?

i do i do.... when i first picked up fic writing again after college i thought smut would forever totally beyond me but after some very kind encouragement from friends i tried my hand at it & was off to the races.

i would not say i am an expert at it by any means but i have a lot of fun with it, & people seem to generally appreciate it, so i will keep going!

11) Have you ever had a fic stolen?

also no, phew

12) Have you ever had a fic translated?

yes, a bunch of my gomens fics have been translated into chinese and russian, which is so so super cool!

13) Have you ever co-written a fic before?

yuh, i had a few legendary cowrites in GO! the slow show metafic with cherry @fremulon and the shitscript crossover extravaganza with hallie @kalelraejepsen !!! both tremendously fun experiences

14) What’s your all time favorite ship?

that is a very tough one. if you go by my ao3 bookmarks it's aziraphale/crowley, which might be true still tbh... but i dunno. maybe ten/rose because that shit never leaves you.

15) What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

in terms of fic i already started posting, there's my one terror WIP with amnesiac tozer that i swear i WILL finish one day... and same goes for my good omens music & lyrics AU, which i fully expect to pick back up and finish off when i inevitably return to the fandom for series 2.

as far as stuff that never made it out of drafts, i started a hodgson-centric fic a few weeks ago that i got like 4k into before realizing i need to seriously refine my approach. so hopefully after exe fest i will get around to that!

16) What are your writing strengths?

well i am funny. so i've got that going for me. other than that ummmm i don't know. i don't think of myself as a particularly good or strong writer bc i really am just here for a laff. i think i can turn a phrase well and get the most out of imagery; i'm good at coming up with compelling story concepts and weird gimmicks, i guess?

17) What are your writing weaknesses?

i fundamentally don't know or understand how People Actually Act And Feel so i have a hard time getting realistic or interesting reactions and conflicts out of characters. my plots (when my stories have them at all) are very powered by external events, i wouldn't call myself a character-driven writer by any means. for the same reasons i struggle with voice and dialogue beyond superficial signposting via vocabulary/syntax. also, sustaining a long story/finding enough Stuff To Happen to fill it up/having the patience to keep writing... is something i need to work on for sure.

18) What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

i'm a lame american who only speaks english so honestly i don't really have thoughts!

19) What was the first fandom you wrote for?

i distinctly remember hand-writing in my notebook two or three pages worth of a story about what happened to the main precog in "minority report" after watching the movie when i was like seven. the first fandom i actually wrote fic for and posted it online was probably doctor who circa 2010 ish? but my warrior cats RP career predates that by a few years and i did a LOT of writing there. oh warriorsforest39 dot proboards dot com you are missed....

20) What’s your favorite fic you’ve written?

SEX GHOST AU! SEX GHOST AU!

tagging folks :))) @laissezferre @titleleaf @theburialofstrawberries @girdedheraround @flanneryoconnorfanfiction @wreathedwith if u want!!

[bettyfrancis]

but now i need the stucky fic recs

i haven’t read any of these since endgame so like....... hope they’re still good! truly a god-tier brainworm ship for those of us with internalized homophobia.

a close shave (M)

first of all newsbypostcard is probably my favorite fanfic writer of all time, so this is the first of many by them. premise is simple, after steve saves bucky in azzano bucky has difficulty reconnecting — until he asks steve to help him shave.

your homecoming will be my homecoming (M)

probably my favorite post cap2 fic, great natasha and sam characterization, bucky focused. all of this authors stuff is fantastic

The Thirteen Letters

the larger series this is a part of, not easily conquered, is like... Thee Fandom Classic for most ppl but I think this portion of it is by far the best and totally standalone. womb to tomb sweetheart etc etc, it’s basically another bucky centric world war 2 thing that is super well researched and just absolutely gutting

All the Angels and the Saints

pre-war to ww2, steve struggles with his (catholic) faith before and after losing bucky

closer, i need you so much closer (T)

missing scene before and after the infamous pub scene — my bookmark just says “GOD. TOP TIER ROMANCE!”

Practice Makes Perfect (M)

“It's August and sweltering when Steve asks, out of nowhere, if Bucky wants to try kissing. Just to see what it's like. Bucky then spends far, far too many years pretending it didn't mean anything at all.” pre war so sweet ugh

dead hearts and midnight cowards (E)

another nbp joint — post azzano ww2 jumping each others bones. probably my most reread fic it’s just SO

Goodbye Piccadilly, Goodbye Leicester Square (M)

this one fucking KILLS me. avengers find a time machine and without thinking steve jumps in to reunite with bucky. mostly from natasha’s POV watching steve try to find bucky. short and sweet and literally rips my heart in half. avengers adjacent stuff normally bugs me but this one is just soooooo well done

honey don’t feed it it will come back (M)

steve and bucky secret relationship during wartime

AND FINALLY THE ONE THAT STARTED IT ALL (for me)

Sincerely, Your Pal (E)

epistolary ww2 fic that has steve writing to bucky in the war throughout the early events of cap TFA that fully converted me from casual fan to like life-endingly obsessed stan. so we’ll researched and intensely engaging. and like. realllly hot.

Those are my faves, but I read at least 50 more by the same authors that were absolutely amazing. I do not understand how such a stupid franchise has such good writing. It feels weird reccing this now bc I don’t go here anymore but 🤗 ask and you shall receive.

also I do have a full bookmark folder of the Hannibal stuff I love, and there’s a bunch!!! if anyone wants those recs? It’s mostly just them being insane and I think every single one is explicit lmaaoooo so. Dead dove do not eat to a certain extent

#captain America #bucky gets his own tag #stucky fic recs

[http-hnigrm]

I was tagged by @hannibalhadalittlelamb to answer these questions! [tyty <3 :]

1. why did you choose your url?:

“http-“ is the beginning of all my side blogs & my main blog :,) it’s j kinda my little thing I do <3 as for hnigrm…. @/http-hannigram was already taken ;__; </3

2. any side blogs?:

so many… so many… they’re kinda cringe tho and I don’t really use them… this is the only side blog I use with any regularity! (even more than my main tbh…)

3. how long have you been on tumblr?:

Just shy of 8 years? damn. makes me feel old as hell ;__; but in actuality I was j on the internet way too young :,)

4. do you have a queue tag?:

not on this blog :,) I can’t be bothered it do it tbh… I put everything in my drafts to sit until I feel like posting it, but no queue :3

5. why did you start your blog in the first place?:

I make a side blog for all my hyperfixations :3 I will admit that I put much more effort into this blog than any others… I j knew when I was watching hannibal for the first time that I would be stuck on it for a very long time afterwards

6. why did you choose your icon?:

hottest picture I’ve ever seen. :,) I thought about changing it recently to my Instagram pfp, but I couldn’t get rid of this photo ;__;

7. why did you choose your header?:

my phone theme is like Hannibal/mind palace ish so I have paintings that remind me of Hannibal/hannigram as my widgets! So I thought Achilles Lamenting the Death of Patroclus was fitting for my silly little blog

8. what's your post with the most notes?:

definitely my “I never feel guilty eating anything” post! kinda silly bc it was one of my least favorites but everyone here seemed to like it! I appreciate the love it got <3

9. how many mutuals do you have?:

on here, probably like 10? on my main I have closer to 35 :)

10. how many followers do you have?:

209! holding u all tenderly in my hands <3

11. how many ppl do you follow?:

My main blog says 1897, but Hannibal centric blogs I’d say around 60?

12. have vou ever made a shitpost?:

I’m not convinced all of my posts aren’t shitposts :,)

13. how many times do you use tumblr a day?:

I fully log on at least once (unless I’m taking a conscious break) but I probably do a quick scroll through on my phone somewhere between 3-5 times? unless I’m expecting something (a dm reply or an ask answer) bc then that number jumps to like 30x… I’m a bit obsessive <3

14. have you ever had a fight with another blog?:

I’m been fortunate enough to have never fought with any blogs in my 8 years on here (at least not to my knowledge?)

15. how do you feel abt "need to reblog" posts?:

not great. I think they cause unnecessary anxiety about what to put on ur blog! it’s ur blog! do what u want!

16. do you like tag games?

love em! i love hearing myself talk :,) </3

17. do you like ask games?:

yes yes ! ^^^

18. which of your mutuals do you think is tumblr famous?:

i literally have no idea… tumblr is fake in my mind… I know it’s social media, but it feels like a silly little diary for my Hannibal brainrot </3 ur all tumblr famous to me besties <33 :3

19. do you have a crush on a mutual?:

yes. all of them. if we’re mutuals, the fine print reads that we are actually engaged to be married! <3 :,)

20. tagging:

@haydenbadartist @snailmailthings @bluebean-draws @mirigen-ly @ezzakennebba and idk! anyone else who wants to! <33

#sorry if u guys were already tagged </3 #i hella forgot abt this… poor thing was rotting away in my drafts </3 #elijah speaks #tag game #hannibalhadalittlelamb

[majorxmaggiexboy]

idk if i’m actually going to attempt to participate but i still want to make a little list of Tober/Tember prompts and ideas of what to do with them. also tagging @f-ro-g bc New Pack. Every time i do one of these i start forgetting every media i’ve ever consumed so we’re going to see if i can at least get more than like three different fandoms on here. Might or might not come back through and flesh these out with actual details later on.

Whumptober Ideas

1) All Trussed Up and Nowhere to Go/”You have to let go”/Barbed Wire/Bound - Hadestown, full stop. The whole prompt is Hadestown. It’s in the lyrics, even. It is this post that makes me finally notice the “Keep on walking and don’t look back” line in Wait For Me and i’m so angry right now

2) Talking is Overrated/Garotte/Choking/Gagged - I’m thinking a rewrite of my first Three Musketeers fic just because it was funny the first time around and also wouldn’t take much Effort. Next.

3) Sticks and Stones May Break My Bones, But.../Taunting/Insults/”Who did this to you?”

The Bradmadge Brawl of S2E1 but with passion and malice next question

4) Trust Fall/”Do you trust me?”/Taken Hostage/Pushed

Nothing springs immediately to mind but i’m leaning toward Psych or The New Pack

5) Red In My Ledger/Betrayal/Misunderstanding/Broken Nose

*slams hand on table* New Pack. Mordaunt. It writes itself.

6) Touch and Go/Bruises/Touch-Starved/Hunger

On-Drakon we’re going to give Arman and Mira some love even if only two people on this website even know them.

7) My Spidey-Sense is Tingling/Helplessness/Numbness/Blindness

TASM just for the sake of it? Undecided

8) Coughing Up a Lung/Pneumothorax/Exotic Illness/”Definitely Just a Cold”

Ben Tallmadge and the Delaware Dive next question

9) Rumors of My Death Have Been Greatly Exaggerated/Presumed Dead/Blind Rage/Tears

Bucky it’s your turn babe

10) Oops, I Did It Again/Hospital/Flare-Up/Ice Chips

Ben you’re going back in the Delaware it’ll be so funny

11) Just Keep Swimming/Adrift/Drowning/Dehydration

Personally i think having a third Ben vs. Water fic would be the funniest possible move but Grimaud or Mordaunt could also work here

12) It’ll Be Fun, They Said/Torture/Made to Watch/Begging

Jean-Olivier comes to mind but hmmmmm there was also that one TURN S3 au that could work

13) That’s Gonna  Leave a Mark/This Is Gonna Suck/Burns/Cauterization

Hmmmmmm OH! OH! Raoul! The New Pack. Done.

14) Under Pressure/Crush Injuries/Beaten/Force

It says Force and Force is Star Wars so naturally this is Mando’s number.

15) Feed a Cold, Starve a Fever/Delirium/Fever Dream/Bees

Ben Tallmadge guess what....

16) On a Need-to-Know Basis/Recovery/Scars/Aftermath

I’m thinking the Psych Not-Ghost AU would work here but there are certainly other options.

17) Field-Care 101/”Please don’t move!”/Hemorrhage/Dread

Might go with something Leverage right here just because i just watched Leverage. Nothing’s jumping immediately to mind. Warm Bodies could also work though.

18) The Doctor is In/”Now smile for the camera!”/Doctor’s visit/CPR

I’m thinking Reid just because Dr. and i’ve never been able to write Doctor Who so. What other Doctor characters are there. McStuffins isn’t in the running here. Oh! We could do something MCU, Bruce is a Doctor isn’t he? God can you imagine Dr. Hulk trying to

19) Just a Scratch/Bitten/Bleeding/Stabbing

Didn’t ... d’Artagnan once utter the phrase “it’s just a scratch” in relation to someth.....first episode, i think? Great so we have a winner, good job everybody.

20) Lost & Found/Trunk/Trapped underwater/Solitary Confinement

Weirdly Mando is the first character to come to mind. Someone beat me to 80% of my other idea but there’s potential.

21) That’s Where the Blood’s Supposed to Be/Bleeding Through Bandages/Pressure/Blood-Matted Hair

Let’s be real the only two options for this one are Bucky or Eliot and they’re virtually the same character so where does that leave me

22) They Made Me Do It/Cursed/Demon/Obsession

*vague wave* Merlin ?

23) You Break It, You Buy It/Auction/Ransom/Pursuit

That one 3M au with Athos and the big mix-up and the Oops and all the...stuff, yeah. That works.

24) One Down, Two to Go/Self-Induced Injuries to Escape/Flashback/Revenge

Holy sh- i didn’t see this one initially. I mean? Jean? Ow.

25) Hide & Seek/Escape/Flight/Hiding

Psych? Orrrrr....TGM?

26) You Will Go Down With This Ship/Fallen/Waterfall/Trap Door

I’m trying to think of literally anything i’ve ever read or watched that’s got a ship in it ummmmmmm hey what if we interpret “ship” as yeaaaah let’s do another Mando one that’ll work

27) “I’m Fine, I Prom...”/Passing Out/Vertigo/Collapse

I mean..... .... ... is there a character this doesn’t work for though? Wait. No actually let’s do Childermass since he gets that what is it an allergic reaction to magic? I mean i know Segundus gets like that to so....ha let’s make it be Both of them.

28) It’s Not Just In Your Head/”Good, you’re finally awake”/Nightmares/Panic

First thought is New Pack but it might take some pondering.

29) All Work and No Play/”You’re still not dead?”/Too weak to move/overworked

it’s like Civil War but with Bucky and Jean-Olivier having an all-out brawl good lord it’s an either/or situation.

30) Digging Your Grave/Major Character Death/Left For Dead/Ghosts

*shot of choc milk* the exact TURN AU i was Just thinking about yesterday,,,

31) Hurt & Comfort/Disaster Zone/Trauma/Prisoner

I feel like i need to put Gwynplaine here just because he hasn’t had a turn yet

Alt. Prompts

1) Losing Control

Arman. Very obviously extramuch Arman definitely. Let’s have another one with the involuntary dragon himbo.

2) Threats

*chin hands* trying to think of a character who gets threatened a lot. will circle back. I’m actually thinking Psych again but idk.

3) Caning

Ro we’ve genuinely discussed about 16 different variations on this one i think it’s Time

4) Mercy

MORDAUNT MORDAUNT NEXT QUESTION

5) Forgotten

Is it time for Jack Frost of all people to make an appearance or is this just Bucky again

6) Head Injury

It would be real easy to just put the headbonk au here but i’m going to try to show some restraint and do a different headbonk story

7) Screaming

Going to assign Gwynplaine here just because he really has been neglected in this lineup and also it would probably be good for him to vent a little bit in this manner

8) Comfort

Someone’s going to get petted like a cat and i just haven’t decided whomst but when i do it’s over for everybody

9) Self-Sacrifice

What do i even say to that i Feels like another New Pack but it’s still up for grabs tbh

10) Trapped

Tempted to pour one out and just say Bucky but idk idk we’ll think of something this is very much a first draft stream of thought general idea planning session

11) Near Death Experience

It would be hilarious to just put something like Meet Joe Black for this one but WAIT NO NO GO BACK ACTUALLY WARM BODIES LET’S DO WARM BODIES

12) Regret

It’s gotta either be Psych or TURN

13) Tragedy

My first thought is to do a damn Hannibal fic without ever having actually watched the show just because i’m still angry about how i read it ended but considering that i only know the characters’ voices from tumblr chatposts i feel like that’s not the best venue to

heck we might just do New Pack

14) Battlefield

Either TURN or New Pack or....the song’s a little bit dramatic for a Bucky but actually....unless? no....but Maybe,

15) Anxiety

Every character i’ve ever cared about could potentially fit right here so :/ Arman could have 3rd ficlet but again, literally every character, i,,,,,they’ve all got anxiety X’D

#long post

[voldiebuns]

Horror Movie a Day 2020

The past couple of years I’ve done a challenge of trying to watch a horror movie a day through the month of October. Last year didn’t go well since I was so busy travelling, so I’m hoping for better this time around!

Under the cut you'll find my list of watched movies, plus rating and some thoughts about them. I’ll also be posting every day at my film twitter. Lemme know if you have any suggestions for what I should watch this month!

Hereditary (2018) | ★★★☆☆ This movie was... not at all what I was expecting from trailers and such. The devil worshiping angle was definitely a surprise, which I didn't entirely mind, but the first and second halves of the movie felt very disjointed from one another because of it. There were some good moments, but all in all, not entirely sure I liked the movie.

Parasite (2019) | ★★★★☆ More a thriller than horror, but I make the rules! I enjoyed this one a lot for the sense of tension it achieves even when not a whole lot of “action” was going on until close to the end. And of course how well it depicts class differences and how deeply affecting poverty is. Very good.

Attack of the Giant Leeches (1959) | ★★☆☆☆ Granted, this is over 60 years old now, but it’s still very bad. And not even in a particularly fun way. It’s honestly pretty boring and not scary at all... But at least it was short!

Piranha (1972) | ★☆☆☆☆ So 70s it hurts lol And also so boring it hurts. I spent most of the movie wondering when something was actually going to happen. But the real thing I wonder now is why this was in my sharks, piranhas, and monsters movie pack because there’s approximately two seconds of actual piranhas in this and they’re not even really attacking anyone?? I think they may have included the wrong Piranha because the picture on the cover is... not this movie lol

Them! (1954) | ★★☆☆☆ I actually thought it seemed pretty well made for the time, but it was definitely very slow. Interesting as a reflection of US nuclear fears, which I don’t think gets seen as much in movies, though!

Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus (2009) | ★★☆☆☆ This is... so bad. I’m pretty sure their budget had to be like $5 and half a gig of stock footage, but even aside from the godawful CGI, the cinematography is almost unbelievably awful and the acting is often cringeworthy. It also wasn’t particularly fun? But the romance was actually kind of cute.

Mega Piranha (2010) | ★☆☆☆☆ I honestly can’t even count the ways this was a terrible movie lol And still, not even in a particularly fun way! More cringe than cheese, which was really just disappointing.

Beneath Loch Ness (2001) | ★★★☆☆ This was actually really not bad. The graphics were incredibly 2001, but it came off as very heartfelt and the characters and their relationships felt real in a way they tend not to in these kinds of movies. I enjoyed it!

30,000 Leagues Under the Sea (2007) | ★★☆☆☆ Not really a horror movie, but in a pack with my other sea creature horror movies so it'll do. Production value was terrible and the plot was sketchy, but it had some interesting bits. Overall a pretty hearty meh for this one.

Tremors (1990) | ★★★★☆ First rewatch of the year! It's been years, though, and I needed a refresher before watching the rest. This movie is basically the floor is lava with killer worms and I love it lol A really fun movie!

Tremors II: Aftershocks (1996) | ★★★☆☆ Earl without Val was not quite so much fun, but they did some cool things with the graboids. Plus many more explosions! Biggest complaint is the puppets and CGI didn't always mesh well.

Tremors 3: Back to Perfection (2001) | ★★★☆☆ Wish they'd stop ruining things with worse and worse CGI lol This one got a bit goofy even compared to the others, but it was overall still fun!

Tremors 4: The Legend Begins (2004) | ★★★★☆ This one was really fun! I loved that they went back to the beginning of the town, especially since it was easy to see how it became Perfection in the end. I think it's the best one, tied with the original.

Tremors 5: Bloodlines (2015) | ★★★☆☆ The cinematography on this one was sometimes very weird. And the Jurassic Park homages went a bit past "homage" at point imo. But still a pretty fun watch.

Poltergeist (1982) | ★★★★☆ I think I'd seen this before, but I really couldn't remember. Either way, it holds up pretty well! Very engaging and creepy weird, with some good gross moments too.

Sleepy Hollow (1999) | ★★★★☆ Very enjoyable! Tim Burton's style meshed very well with the story, and of course the cast was full of wonderful actors. Unfortunate that Depp stars in it, but what can you do?

Underworld (2003) | ★★★★☆ Not horror exactly, but definitely adjacent enough. Great aesthetic and very enjoyable (re)watch! Also I super appreciated the soundtrack lol

Lake Placid (1999) | ★★★★☆ After I started watching, I realize I think I've seen this before. Still enjoyed it! The characters are definitely the draw more than the croc, though. Would have liked to see a bit more of it

Ghost Town (2009) | ★★☆☆☆ Holy bad acting and shaky cam Batman! Terrible movie with the barest hint of an interesting one beneath, but I think my biggest complaint is there was a Wiccan ritual being done... in the 1800s lol

The Little Girl Who Lives Down the Lane (1976) | ★★★☆☆ There were really no horror elements in this to speak of, which I found a bit disappointing, and I also didn't feel like it had a very satisfactory ending. But I did enjoy the movie for the most part. I guess I just wanted more.

The Witches (1990) | ★★★☆☆ Mostly just pretty goofy, but a fun watch and it felt very seasonal. Anjelica Huston was, of course, the best part! Though I'm always happy to see Jim Henson puppetry as well.

The Silence of the Lambs (1991) | ★★★★☆ This was uh dated in several ways that make it a bit of an uncomfortable watch. But I really did enjoy it! The Clarice/Hannibal dynamic was even better than I'd been expecting.

Killer Klowns from Outer Space (1988) | ★★★☆☆ Wow, that was something else lol Something absolutely ridiculous and incredibly weird, but also very fun! I really enjoyed the main three characters and the music too.

Insidious (2010) | ★★★★☆ Such a good sense of tension in this! A lot of that was thanks to the music tbh, but I do think James Wan just has a really good feel for horror. Also, a very good ending, I'm definitely excited to see 2!

Malevolent (2018) | ★★★☆☆ A fairly enjoyable movie, but it just felt a little lacking and it seemed like the end came up really quickly. To be honest it wasn't quite what I was expecting. I wish there would have been a bit more with the ghosts.

The Conjuring (2013) | ★★★★☆ A rewatch since it's been a few years since I watched it. Very enjoyable movie with good music, great tension, and some actually good jump scares. The Annabelle stuff seems disconnected to the rest, though, I wish that had been more tied in.

Annabelle (2014) | ★★★☆☆ This movie dragged quite a bit and I feel like things could have been compressed quite a bit and it would have been better. The cult connection also could have been explored a lot more imo, because it felt a bit slapped

The Last House on the Left (2009) | ★★☆☆☆ Way too much sexualized violence for my tastes tbh, but I liked the concept and the cast was very good. I think I'll try the original sometime and see how it compares.

The Amityville Horror (2005) | ★★★☆☆ I feel like I may have seen this before? Not really worth the rewatch lol Like this movie is fine I guess, it just felt a bit empty and was overall unsatisfying to me.

The Crazies (2010) | ★★★★★ I was a little iffy going into this bc I thought it might be zombie-esque, and it was, but I really enjoyed it! I liked what they did with the government satellite especially.

Midsommar (2019) | ★★★★★ I was expecting this to be good since I’d heard good things about it, and it so was! The sense of strangeness and building tension was excellent. And it was just such a beautiful movie tbh.

#horror movie a day #Horror Movies #horror #31 days of Halloween #movies #Hereditary #Parasite #Attack of the Giant Leeches #Piranha #Them! #Mega Shark vs Giant Octopus #Mega Piranha #Beneath Loch Ness #30000 Leagues Under the Sea #Tremors #Tremors II: Aftershocks #Tremors 3: Back to Perfection #Tremors 4: The Legend Begins #Tremors 5: Bloodlines #Poltergeist #Sleepy Hollow #Underworld #Lake Placid #Ghost Town #The Little Girl Who Lives Down the Lane #The Witches #The Silence of the Lambs #Killer Klowns from Outer Space #Insidious #Malevolent

[sammysamstuff]

About Hugh, I think maybe he is happy about where he is. He doesn't want to do anything more maybe ! You never know people's nature, maybe he is homebody or very choosy about who he works with and kind of role. Maybe he isn't great at auditioning, or happy enough to be a househusband... who knows.

The anon is referring to this post.

I think in any person’s life there’s several elements at play that influence career paths and choices -

maybe like you said, he is content with being a father and a homebody (from what I’ve seen he seems like a hands-on father which is great!) and focusing on smaller jobs that keep him close to home and the kids (he seems to do a lot of movies in NYC).

maybe he dislikes auditioning and/or needs a new, better agent.

maybe it’s a mix of all of that - regardless, I still think it’s a waste - he’s a very good actor and has range, I’d love to see him in more complex, interesting roles. What I find particularly bad is how some of Hugh’s roles (especially older ones) were focused on his good looks - there’s so much more to his acting and he deserves another great project (like Hannibal, for instance) to show it.

Knowing from personal experience with close mates who are actors, they’re always looking for challenging stuff, not just something that pays the bills bc what I hear from them is that when you get roles just for the convenience or the money, it gets boring sooner or later and then it also reflects badly on your CV like soap operas or b films etc.

Anyway, I’d love to see more of Hugh’s work, in complex, funny or tragic stories, it doesn’t matter, as long as it is of quality and he gets to show his talent and not just his beauty.

#ask #ask response #anonymous ask #anon response #anon ask #hugh dancy #hannigram #hannibal #will graham #fannibals #hannibal season 4 #save hannibal

[teacup-tai]

Fic Writer Interview ✨

Thank you so much for the tag, Sly @the-sinking-ship! <3

Name: Tainara (you can call me Tai)

Fandoms: Harry Potter, mainly. But I have half my heart still attached to the Naruto fandom and so many fics in my ffnet that I loved writing (shikaneji and kakasaku mainly). I read a lot of Hannibal fics and BDSM Suits renditions, but don’t write about this fandoms.

Where you post: AO3 for my fics in English, but I tend to post on ffnet when I write HP in Portuguese or Naruto, as I have more readers there. 

Most popular one-shot: the one-shot with more comments & kudos is hear me (with your whole body) - Drarry, E, 9k. Written for the @hd-hurtfest 2020. (though Scorching - Pansmione, pwp, 1,5k - has more hits)

Most popular multi-chapter: Dragons Don’t Know Paradise  (Drarry, WIP, advent fic) is my most pop multi-chapter in AO3, it’s the only long one I have in English, so lol it’s not the most popular at all. I could say that Stand by Me (Pansmione, in Portuguese, 95k) was my biggest hit so far in the Harry Potter fandom, and I was very happy to write it. 

Favorite story I’ve written so far: I don’t know how to answer this xD. I think it depends. I’ve been writing fics for over 16 years, though I’m a new name in the English HP community. So if I think back, I would say some of my Portuguese fics in ffnet are my favourites, because they meant so much to me, they’re written in my language, and it took me long years to finish some of those. They kept me company when life was hard. (Love Shuffle is my favourite Naruto fic, its 150k multi-ship, WIP, in portuguese).

In English though, I think Rebel Rebel is my favourite (wolfstar, no war AU, E, 5k). I had a massive great time writing it, and I BLOODY LOVE Sirius in this fic. I also love the vibe of it, the buzzing energy, the sex scenes and Bowie's music sounding in the background. (and my best OFC ever, honestly). Though, I’m very proud and loving to write Dragons. Maybe once it’s finished I’ll say it’s my favourite xD

Fic you were nervous to post: Ain’t I always when I’m writing in English? LOL but I was nervous to post The Old Ways, because no one would read such a rare pair and I knew I would get no feedback at all, but it’s one of my nicest oneshots, and it’s a character study. I LOVE THIS FIC. I love the Black family and they are underappreciated in my humble opinion. Maybe, give it a chance? *puppy eyes*

How do you choose your titles: I take them for quotes normally, of novels, short stories or musics that resonate with the plot :D 

Do you outline: Not much, really. The more I outline the more I block. So I tend to only outline a few important scenes and where they go along the plot. But I’m a very instinctive writer, I go with what feels best while writing. It can be a problem sometimes, bc I tended to block a lot in the past. Not anymore, apparently. 

Complete: Oh boy. I tend to block towards the end, and I have issues with completing things. But lately this has changed a bit. I haven’t posted a WIP in years, and now I’m doing it for the 25 days of Drarry, but it’s been a nice experience in completing under pressure. lol

In progress: I have many docs with ideas and plots and even chapters long drafts. I have a Pansmione waiting for me to go back to it after Christmas, and a long fic about Pansy and Harry building a friendship after the war under very curious circumstances (it’s a Drarry fic).

Coming soon: I’ll probably take a break after Dragons. BUT there’s the two fics I mentioned above, and there’s Pansy-centric fic about her witch life in Magic Dublin and how she ends up having crushes on unexpected people ;)  

Prompts: never done that before, but, like, sure, let’s try it out ;)

Tagging: I dunno who have done it or not so I’ll tag you all and see how it goes: @onbeinganangel @tackytigerfic @quicksilvermaid @the-starryknight @bonesliketambourines @shealwaysreads  AND EVERYONE WHO WANTS TO DO IT! <3

#my writing #my fics #interview #tainara black #tai writes

[off-in-the-moors]

It is not the responsibility of art to be morally instructive. It is 100% YOUR responsibility to research something if you know you are a sensitive person, take responsibility for your self. Art does not need to be some clinical sanitized morality play, get over your weird Puritanical obsession that all art must conform to your specific world view. Either engage in challenging works or stick to children’s cartoons where you can feel ‘safe’.

-

Dear Anon,

I’m truly confused by this. I have no idea what are you referencing and what “inspired“ you to send me this “ask“. But I will do my best to give you something.

(It only took me this long to answer, bc I don’t log in very often.)

Let’s start with your assumption of me.

I’m not a sensitive person, in any meaning. I actually love reading and engaging in media that’s morally questionable or straight up morbid and disturbing. Some of my favorite thing are: paintings by Goya and Beksiński, folklore/mythology (in it’s most unchanged form), “Perfume“ both film and book, Hannibal tv series, true crime, to name a few. Your assumption that I’m just “a girl obsessed and only enjoying modern cartoons“ is insulting.

I actually do agree with you that art, in any form, isn’t responsible to be morally instructive, but every work of art is made to send some form of message, be an obvious one or hidden between pages. In my opinion, authors and writers should be aware of what message they want to send with their works and what messages they are sending with what and how they’re presenting.

On your “It is 100% YOUR responsibility to research something if you know you are a sensitive person, take responsibility for your self“ this is also true. But on the other hand, given media should provide you with some kind of warning and not a third party entity. For example, if I pick-up a YA book from a bookstore, bc of its synopsis or someone (be a person I know or a creator) recommended it to me, I don't expect "spicy" scenes or blatant a*use of a character by its love interest or just "torture p*rn" scenes in it but here they are. With no warning. Is it my fault? Partly yes. Is it the media's fault for not giving me any warnings? Also yes.

Even with researching "warnings" isn't that simple. When it comes to books, the only way is reading reviews or recommendations. With reviews, they're either positive and say nothing book related or are negative and full of spoilers. Recommendations nowadays most of the time don't even give you what the story is about, just "it has x, y and z in it", let alone "warnings". From my own experience, they either don't tell you about "unappropriated" stuff (be r*pe, d*ug a*use, a*use, etc.) or they down play them and in worst cases, excuse it or say "it gets better/it's addressed in the next book/later in the series".

But if you feel the need to micromanage everything you engage in, go for it. But most people don't and a warning would be nice.

(This of course doesn't apply to thing and character's actions deemed "problematic". If said stuff is well handled and addressed, it's perfectly ok to portray it. But again, if it addressed and/or showed as wrong, and not ignored, excused, or played as a joke.)

I don't know from where you took the "your weird Puritanical obsession", bc 1) I never petitioned for that in my posts, and 2) I'm actually against censuring and sanitation of media.

Now, on to what "inspired" you to write this.

Again, I have no f-clue. So here are my best guesses:

If it's about Pathologic: I only have problem with people forcing their politics, modern sentiments and opinions/interpretations on to something they don't fully understand, because they're from a different cultural climate. An American can't fully (or in some cases, refuses to) understand something made by Europeans (in this case Russians) for Europeans in mind. I don't want to mix myself into the fandom discourse/drama, because I don't care what people think or how they interpret stuff, even if it's taken from something minor or from nowhere with no support (or even is debunked) in canon. I don't care if people like or hate this one character. Just don't police people for liking things, you don't like. Nor do public shaming or send people on those you don't agree with. You don't like a pixel man on platform shoes? Fine. Just don't bully and attack people who do.

If it's about my post about B*rdugo's adult book: I will admit, the wording and presentation wasn't the best. I was writing it from a place of strong emotions, but I'm still standing by my opinion that some things should not be presented with graphic details in a book without any type of warning. Here we could have a discussion about trigger warnings in books, hers response to the idea of putting them on her book and what is consider "too far", but this isn't about that. I actually have a lot of problems with B*rdugo and her fan-base, besides that. Her use of Russia, it's history, religion iconography and culture only for aesthetic and not doing proper research (she called her series "Greg's trilogy") or showing any respect for it (with characters, how are not main and secondary characters, a Slavic stereotype); her portray of dyslexia and how the fandom likes to use it as a joke in relation to this character; or people shielding her from any form of criticism with "She's is xyz, so she can write this". But I don't care about her and her works.

I stopped reading YA books, because I can't stand them any longer and their "handling" of topics, with people holding up every-single-one as "the best book ever written", not because of the quality or story but because the author is xyz, and spitting at every book written before 2000s. I'll get flag for it but YA novels are the Pulp fiction of our times (of course not all, but most of the popular ones are). I stopped trusting people recommending them to me, because 90% of the time, I'm just disappointed by them.

If it's about K and TRC: I already said so much about this. Margaret isn't aware of her audience, she writes for herself (which she admitted on a podcast) and refuses to change it to please anyone. She created and killed K for two reasons: to further Ronan's character arc (to be used for teaching him to dream better and a (not working) foil of him (or Adam... or Gansey)) and as her weird catharsis of killing everything she hates (who she apparently was; "fratty boys and chortling men") personified as one boy (and yes, boy, because this fandom likes to forget he’s only seventeen, the same age as the Gangsey. If you excuses their actions, like Ronan and Adam’s racist jokes or Gansey’s toxic behaviors towards Adam with “they’re just teenagers”, why K is excluded from being a stupid teen?). With Jordan, it's now obvious that she has a bias of suffering/dealing with your trauma (and addiction) "in the right way", of which in her eyes, K wasn't. She could not create K or she could not make him a harmful stereotype of a Slav, but she did. In a book targeted at 13-18 year olds, we have a drug-addicted boy committing a public s*icide and being demonized and forgotten by everyone.

But I'm done with this fandom, I never had a place in it. TRC fandom is 80% P*nch with a 1% being about K, but even this little corner is "too much" for the stans. I left for a reason, the only thing I regret is not apologizing for my out-burst. If someone who knows what I’m referencing is reading this, I’m truly sorry.

So, yea. I hope, I addressed your issue, Anon.

#ask anon #ask #pathologic #anti leigh bardugo #anti trc #anti maggie stiefvater

[goblins-riddles-or-frocks]

hey I was wondering what do you think of hannibal, both generally and also that ending?

oh god that’s rather complicated. while I’ve watched the full show several months ago, my memory is but a sieve. this time around I only watched season three so I’ll be mostly focusing on that.

but generally... I like hannibal a lot though I think it’s kind of unwieldy and sprawling?

I enjoy its themes, its aesthetic, and the characters’ emotional journeys. I also love the source material and fanfictionesque reinterpretations are my favorite sort of adaptation. the role reversal element is my absolute favorite aspect of season two.

the consistently artsy murders begin to be a bit bullshit after awhile, but they had a vision they were going for and I respect that.

the writing style is notoriously esoteric and overwrought. (the “tell me will” meme khfhgsggdf) I think the show did often have something to say but it was just bullshitting frequently enough to get grating. I adore it when characters get to sit down and have pretentious heart to hearts, that’s everything I want ever. but I just wish there was more natural dialogue in between. not everything needs to be dressed up in obscure metaphors and counter intuitive phrasing. obfuscating what your characters are talking about doesn’t make it more high brow, it just makes it annoying to parse lol.

a big deal breaker for many people is that the show’s also intensely unkind to its female characters. and I think it probably became aware of this around season three given that alana, margot, and freddie are all relatively safe (the former two only after the verger arc is resolved, but still) and how awesome molly is.

that underlying bias is still there though and is evident in how bella’s mercy killed without a thought (or her consent), everything about chiyoh, and how molly and walter pretty much exist as a single unit just to be a family for will to lose. an issue with hannibal is that it doesn’t take its female characters as seriously. and so while it tries to lean towards more equal opportunity violence, or giving us more diversity in its female driven subplots, that fundamental disregard is still there. it shines through, and it is glaring.

anyway, I’ve said it before but imo the single weakest point of... everything, is hannibal himself. I love his characterization and how mads mikkelson portrays him. but the narrative is simply too enamored with him in a way that becomes frustrating. he’s infallible, and invincible, and it’s ridiculous! the larger than life portrayal is fine, initially. but those kinds of villains, you build them up to break them down. there isn’t any catharsis if they’re just perfect, evil cardboard cutouts forever. and hannibal is just that. he barely had any development or progress. his one weakness seems to be his obsession with will— and occasionally the petty need to have the last laugh/have pissing contests with anyone who might try to upstage him, but I don’t think the narrative really acknowledges or even realizes that that is a weakness. the narrative framing is frequently just as petty as he is, so I really doubt there’s much self awareness there.

anyway I liked the ending a lot! but imo it’s also not a positive one as opposed to more of a psychological unspooling. I feel bad for will? and I want him to be happy? which isn’t a thing I think he can necessarily achieve while in hannibal’s clutches. but as a conclusion to the show, it’s a satisfying one for me.

I think there’s a tremendous amount of despair in that final bloody embrace and choice to throw them both off the cliff.

over the course of the show we see will grow to trust hannibal, to hating him for everything he’s putting him through. and then eventually coming out of the whole “gaslit to hell and back and framed for serial murder” ordeal and realizing that that fostered codependency is still there. he grapples with that through a lot of season two, dithering between turning him in/helping him be captured, and letting hannibal go. he ultimately decides on the latter (apparently on an impulse) and that results in so much bloodshed and misery. clearly it isn’t an option. but once hannibal’s finally captured, his bullshit profiling is apparently still imperative to solving serial killer cases lol and he’s *still* pulling all the strings from inside his cell! neither of these outcomes have been any good. it leaves will without real options.

I think it’s ambiguous if the breaking point is more genuine codependency/realizing he’s just as obsessed with hannibal as vice versa or the fact that hannibal almost killed his entire family and will probably continue to terrorize them all lmfao. in all likelihood it’s a mix of both. but there is a breaking point and bedelia outright states the dilemma: can’t live with him, can’t live without him. so will opts to go down with him instead. and I love that! it’s very cathartic and upsetting and fraught.

the very first time I saw the post credit scene I was pretty mad about it bc bedelia was my favorite character but at this point I’m desensitized. I get why they went for a shock value scene and by that point their cast was dwindling.

but yeah that scene leaves many interesting questions. how the fuck did they survive, did they both survive? hallucinating your best buddy is def a recurring theme in this lol. is will cool with the cannibalism? what’s the plan?? what happened to molly???

they’re questions I don’t necessarily need answered though. I’d like to see a season four but I’m also happy with where it ended, even if it’s kind of gutting for will to end up stuck with hannibal lmao

#do I dare tag this? ah fuck it #nbc hannibal #hannibal #will graham #hannibal lecter #sorry for the essay I was trying to be brief lmao #unfortunately tumblr mobile doesn’t allow for read more cuts #also I am forever angry about abigail #I’ll die mad about it #I’m mostly just not touching on it because a) rage b) it’s more of a season one and two thing and I mostly kept myself to season three only #i ramble sometimes #long post #*writer's cap* #all the bendy punctuations #a mysterious stranger has appeared

[bloody-wonder]

What are your favorite tropes?

thank you very much for being interested. here’s a post that’s ungodly long.

i love revenge stories. forget and forgive? how about no. i don’t believe in god or higher forces that distribute justice irl so even in stories where such forces actually exist i like when characters take matters into their own hands. will it make them happy or bring closure at least? i don’t care. for me it’s not so much about making the character who’s been wronged happy again as ensuring that the offending character isn’t happy. it’s all about bad karma. revenge stories are still done fairly often, so probably this would be the one popular trope that i like (idk if i can call it overdone though).

when a character does some favor for a stranger in the first half of the story to have it returned to them in the second half. i guess it comes from fairy tales: a hero rescues a person at the beginning of the story and later when the hero is in trouble and needs help it turns out that the person they rescued is very powerful and they just happen to ride by and help the hero out. it’s all about good karma. plus just generally i like when characters you thought were episodic turn out to be important later in the story.

when characters have to join forces with their antagonists to defeat a common enemy - both when it leads to them questioning why they are antagonists and becoming friends OR when they remain antagonists even after their enemy is defeated. the former situation is more common but it often isn’t executed very well in that the conflict between these characters isn’t resolved in a satisfying way - they just spend some time around each other and are like okay i forgive you we’re friends now which is frustrating. the latter scenario wouldn’t have such an issue but it’s very rare, i can’t even think of an example. a perfect situation ofc would be if after defeating the common enemy one side is ready to set their differences aside forever and the other one is not which leads to some delicious tragedy in the end (and to fandom discourse about whether person b should’ve forginen person a or whether they had every right not to).

forbidden romance. not of the montague / capulet kind, but of the actual “forbidden by society for valid reasons” kind. i don’t seek out books like this bcs all you will find is icky problematic romance books for people who have certain kinks, but i’m very intrigued when, for example, a literary fiction book will feature a forbidden romance. what will the author do with it? will they condemn it and remind everyone once again how harmful it is? will they have the nerve to make the ship endgame? how will they justify it? as the book leo has once put it, sometimes unhealthy relationships make for a more compelling story.

on a similar but very different note, when human characters have relationships with those who aren’t human. i guess paranormal romance is a subcategory of this trope but it’s not at all what i’m talking about. i like this inter-species dynamic bcs of how it makes different cultural norms clash and what it says about conditio humana and stuff. what if one character is a regular person and the other one is an unholy demon and they “fall in love” but for the human it means whatever it means but for the demon it means to devour their soul? in paranormal romance monsters learn to “love” like humans do but i think that’s cultural assimilation and also boring.

when a character is a prodigy at something and/or just very competent - like andrew at exy or toph beifong at earth- and metal-bending. many people like to see characters try and fail but i think it’s nice to have someone about whom you can’t be sure they won’t embarrass you. i have lots of first- and second-hand embarrassement in my life already, thank you very much. but admittedly there’s a fine line between such capable characters and mary sues.

when a character is obsessed with something or someone, often in an unhealthy Problematic way. i think it’s fascinating and i always root for such characters although they rarely come out on top (bcs turns out they’re “evil” or something) bcs they display the amount of enegry, drive and resourcefulness i can only aspire to. a subcategory of this type would be maniacs. yeah sometimes i root even for them bcs *looks at smudged writing on hand* i’m a bourgeois degenerate. plus, if you have a choice between the fbi and hannibal lecter and choose to root for the fbi it just means you’re boring and have no personality.

idk if the following ones are more character archetypes than tropes but i still decided to include them.

the first one i call “the douchebag ravenclaw” - it’s a character who’s very smart but also very mean which may or may not have something to do with how they’re Objectively Smarter than everybody else and their patience for other people’s stupidity and sensitivities is limited. yes, i’m a big fan of sherlock and dr house. tyrion and snape would also fit on this scale, although tyrion is not as mean as he is smart and snape is not as smart as he is mean. you know those tumblr posts that are like “it doesn’t matter how smart you are if you aren’t kind”? like yeah in real life certainly, but in fiction? big fat no. i have a lot of bottled up anger but avoid conflict at all costs so i need smart characters be mean at people to take the edge off it.

another character archetype i love is the lovable rascal - the morally grey and very sassy swashbuckler with a heart of gold. jack sparrow, locke lamora, seregil i korit are near and dear to my heart. it all comes from how when i was 12yo my favorite book was the three musketeers. much like douchebag ravenclaws give me a way of having (and winning) heated arguments i’d never start in real life, lovable rascals give me adventure which i’d never set off on bcs it sounds like too much trouble.

that’s all i could think of at the moment *says she as if this post isn’t too long already*

#book tag #i’ve been thinking a lot why i loved captive prince so much #and i guess the answer is that it both has the biggest douchebag ravenclaw i’ve encountered in fiction #and plays with the trope of enemies becoming reluctant allies in a very entertaining way #even though it doesn’t resolve the conflict in a way i find satisfying #anyway if you read this for some reason #recommend me books with these tropes :)

[vices-aand-virtues]

My Top 10 Shows of the Decade

My top 10 shows of the decade, criteria being it must have started and finished between late 2009-2019. Nothing that is currently airing or that started before late 2009 but ended in the 2010s will be included.

10. Broad City — fully empowered women (mostly) living in NYC and barely scraping by. Just gals bein’ pals with iconic zingers and gif-able moments. A true testament to the power of friendship and how important it is to have someone who can make you laugh.

9. Hannibal — brief vegetarian stints each season because who KNOWS what kind of meat you’re really eating!! Beautiful cinematography and soundtrack. Stellar acting and cast. A great take on a story we think we know.

8. Poldark — *INTENSE VIOLIN BOWING* The intro itself is *chef’s kiss* The development of Demelza is truly a sight to behold. Her storylines alone are enough to keep me captivated, but Ross scything shirtless definitely isn’t bad either.

7. Game of Thrones — wish it was higher up, but after S7-S8, hard to justify it when these other shows nailed all seasons. Nevertheless, even having read the books, and rewatched multiple times, I still find myself on the edge of my seat, often hoping for better outcomes.

6. Parenthood — when you cry the entire final season, I think that means something is going right. Parenthood was my comfort show for awhile bc it has the perfect amount of humor, feel good moments, and “I need to cry so I need to be triggered by something” emotional storylines. A truly stellar cast, but Mae Whitman is a gem especially, and Joy Bryant’s Jasmine is truly great. And Lauren Graham goes without saying.

5. Jane the Virgin — had a few downs in the later seasons that I didn’t love, but ultimately I loved everything about this show. Telenovela tropes? How to deal with religious guilt? Deep exploration of the modern concept of soulmates??? Yes pls #rogeliomybrogelio

4. Veep — crying laughing is hard to get me to do, but I did it with veep easily. Sometimes it was eerie how close to home it got, but it always maintained its comedic integrity without feeling preachy.

3. The Durrells — Greece!!! An English family relocates after living miserably in England following the death of the family patriarch. Shenanigans abound. Absolutely beautiful shots of the scenery and lovely cinematography. Great writing. Love how they found a way to satisfy their fans without it feeling like fan service. Though my only qualm is that I’ve never thought I would cheer so much for someone to get a divorce or cheat on their S/O. Also, how can a finale + final season be so, so wonderful and poignant and do everyone’s stories a good justice, but still completely and utterly break my heart!! Historical actuary be DAMNED I want my post-WW2 Christmas special with all the reunions (perhaps UNIONS???) we deserve.

2. Fleabag — very hard to decide between these last two. Fleabag I stumbled into bc of gifs online and a love of Andrew Scott. I had literally no idea what the plot was or what to expect, yet my expectations were still exceeded in ever conceivable way. It’s the perfect combination of dark humor, reality, drama, and lightheartedness. I’m torn between wanting more and PWB’s perfect and heart-crushing ending.

1. Crazy Ex-Girlfriend — ultimately my favorite bc, as a musician, I so, so appreciate the work put into creating the outstanding songs and musical numbers. I’ve listened to this soundtrack for six straight hours in the car before. Not every song is a banger, but they’re all bops. Then the therapist in me adores how mental health is portrayed and discussed. And the diversity!! I put off watching the last 3 episodes bc I couldn’t bear to be finished with the show. I was having a real shroedinfsr moment — it’s neither finished nor unfinished if I haven’t watched it.

Honorable mention:

1. Bojack Horseman

2. Broadchurch

3. Downton Abbey

4. Upstairs, Downstairs

5. Sherlock

House of Cards would get a mention but I don’t wanna glorify K-Space.

Also Parks and Rec started early 2009 or else it would be on the list.

#broad city #nbc hannibal #game of thrones #nbc parenthood #veep hbo #veep #crazy ex girlfriend #the durrells in corfu #the durrells #fleabag #parenthood #hannibal #cxgf #jane the virgin #jtv #poldark #broadchurch #bojack horseman #downton abbey #upstairs downstairs #sherlock #bbc sherlock #personal #2010s best shows